#and i cant fucking do this anymore
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I really need a new friend tbh
It's not that I don't like my friends rn, but they just never answer me
The irl ones too. Like I text them but they never answer. I text my bff (I honestly don't don't know if I can call her that anymore) and she never answers, not a day later not a week later not a month later not a year later. Never. She wasn't like this before, and she's not that busy at all, so obviously it means she must be doing it on purpose for whatever reason she has.
You never asked nor did anyone else, but the reason I text so much is because I need to distract myself from the present.
But when no one, absolutely none out of all the 9-10 or so close friends I have answer, it leaves me pondering. My thoughts inevitably wonder, and I find myself drowning in them. I don't like that. I don't like thinking. I don't like pondering. I don't like being silent. But I have no choice.
I finish my work, my studies, my homework, my chores, and everything else, but realizing I have no one at all leaves me wondering, pondering and wandering endlessly, infinitely.
And, just as expected, the conclusion my mind comes to is that 'no one likes me' hence 'the reason why they never answer is because they do not appreciate you, nothing about you is good or particularly pleasing, which means you are not worth their time.' And eventually leads to me distancing myself and ghosting them just 'like they did to me'.
Therefore, I stay silent. As much as I hate to, I keep silent and my gaze stays downcast. I don't listen to anyone or anything, I don't answer any question or message, I don't talk, I don't smile, I don't laugh, I don't joke around, I don't draw, I don't write. Nothing. At that state of mine I am only vast nothingness, completely empty and devoid of any emotion whatsoever.
If you knew me, you'd also know that when I am 'sad' (silent), everyone else around me is sad as well.
I do not need to focus to notice how my ears are ringing and no one needs to put me under a microscope to know that silence is my way of weeping.
#yourfavepookiebear#pookiebear rants#pookie talks#vent#pookie's issues#why did i kinda turn it into poetry#whatever#sorry pookies#when i get sad i write like a melodramatic book-writer#pookie bear#pookie's weeping#poetry ig#poetry#?#tw vent#vent/rant#depression#depressing shit#tw depressing thoughts#im so tired#i just came back from outside#and i cant fucking do this anymore#sorry not sorry#i wanna scream my lungs out and weep so intensely my eyes will sting and my ears will ring
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she uhhhh she young on my just till i us ?
original can be found hereee
#this is so fucking dumb. sorry#kon el#kon-el#dc#superboy#tim drake#robin#timkon#why is tagging so embarrassing#conner kent#why does he have fifty names i cant do this anymore#kon#tim#gart (gabi’s art)#yj#young justice#hoping this hasnt been done yet. (probably has)
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HE IS SO WHIPPED OH MY GOD LOOK AT HIS BLUSH
#HHKZKSKSJSNS#I CANT DO THIS ANYMORE HES SO WHIPPED FOR HER JWNDWJJJSJDWJNDJWJDJWJDJEJS#LOOK AT HIS BLUSHHHHHHHHH#AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH#WHAT THE FUCK I AM SO INSANE FOR THEM AAGGGHHHHHNNNGGHHH#im gonna fucking bite someone isndidndjshajsjdjdjked#kusuriya no hitorigoto#the apothecary diaries
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littlest furth shop
@laikascomet
#i think i had a little too much fun with this lol#i also wanted to draw road boy and other characters but maybe when they actually get introduced#i do have a sketch of him with a lil chainsaw.. im not gonna be normal when he gets introduced man he looks so sillygoofy#if you squint laika's eye marking is a clover yue's is a crescent moon and mars' is a star ^_^#i wanted to give laika an accessory too but i couldnt think of anything.. maybe a stack of pancakes??#im curious to see the apocalypse side of the story too.. like so far we have an idea of the comet fucking everything up#and im assuming that lead to a ripple effect causing the apocalypse but exactly how bad?? i cant wait to find out#rn im kinda piecing stuff together.. larkspur delivers mail in a beat up van so that might mean all transportation is grounded#the buildings we've seen so far are intact like the observatory and turnip's house but idk if thats the same for big cities#laikas playlist only includes songs downloaded on yue's computer and there hasnt been internet in 20 years.. but radio signals might#still work.. if yue grows his own food we can assume that mass production and distribution also isnt a thing anymore#sorry im a sucker for worldbuilding.. and the furth puns are fun to me. i like to think toronto would be clawronto.. and vancouver wld#be nyancouver.. barktic circle.. mewfoundland and labrador.. canyada....#christ i have so many drawing ideas. willow if youre reading this im so sorry youre probably gonna expect to see a lot of drawings frm me#like. i wanna draw laika in the akira bike pose so sosososo bad. IT WOULD BE SO AWESOMECOOL. ill teach myself to draw bikes if i have to#i also wanted to animate laika leekspin.. man#my art#myart#fanart#laika's comet#laikas comet#laika#mars#yue#furry art#fur#littlest pet shop#lps
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#AAAAGHHH#HE WANTS TO START A FAMILY#WITH EDDIE#YOU CANT CHANGE MY MIND#i can’t do this#my heart#my heart can’t take this anymore#I’m so done dude#Venom#venom symbiote#venom the last dance#venom 3#venom spoilers#venom movie#veddie#symbrock#venom the last dance spoilers#venom x eddie#eddie x venom#eddie brock#What if I say I’m fucking losing it#i’m losing my shit#Fuck you sony
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Pathetic, isn't it? To be spending my night crying after you as if you care. Lmfaoo!!
#actually bpd#borderline personality disorder#bpd#bpd thoughts#bpd vent#actually borderline#bpd brain#bpd triggers#bpd safe#born to die#fucked up#actually adhd#adhd things#adhd brain#adhd problems#adhd#i can really use dying tonight#i cant do this#i cant do it anymore#3am things#3 am ramblings#3am thoughts#tw 3d vent#vent post#why the fuck am i alive?
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gwen... good luck babe
#dyhard#alice dyer#gwen bouchard#gwendolyn bouchard#im fucking OBSESSED WITH THEM STOP#tmagp#the magnus protocol#tma#rusty quill#i cant even do it anymore#gwendolyn bouchard we are really in it now#wlw#yuri#YEAAAAAHH#toxic yuri#my art#snowwgravve#alice tmagp#gwen tmagp#banging them together like two dolls#now KISS#i fear theres going to be a lot of putting these bitches into situations on my page#sorry not sorry
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prepare for trouble
and make it DOUBLE
#HOLY FUCKING SHIT#I CANT DO THIS ANYMORE#tmagp#the magnus protocol#the magnus archives#tma#magpod#magnus pod#tma podcast#jonathan sims#martin blackwood#tmagp vague#tmagp spoilers#tmagp 22
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say sike right now
#I CANT FUCKING DO THIS ANYMORE#IM SCREAMING#LIKE ACTUALLY SCREAMING#FUCK FUCK FUCK#myiceprince#enhypen#park sunghoon#sunghoon
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im still applying for jobs, ive applied for state assistance as well but theyre taking their time with approving it. i have bills coming up soon, at the very least i need enough to pay my electric bill bc theyre threatening to shut it off 😬 if anyone has anything they can spare itd be greatly appreciated. im transmasc and i have no family to rely on for this kind of thing. i also have commissions available, dm me for info
vnm: tobias_leviathan
pp: paypal.me/bewearr
thank you 🙏💕
#idk what the secret to applying to jobs is but something is fucked up lately and i cant even get a stupid fast food job#ive applied to so many and got rejected by all of them or just straight up ignored#and thats WITH calling every few days to check up on it#i get either ignored or sent to a bot that just tells me to apply online or the manager has no clue whats going on#ive applied to at least 50 jobs this month and last month not a SINGLE one has given me the time of day#ive been to 4 interviews and got a few callbacks but theyre all dead ends#i dont know what to do anymore. ive been focusing hardcore on art so thats something but ive been working on my backlog and not making money#im just so frustrated and hopeless idk what to even do anymore. ive signed up for temp agencies even and they never have any jobs#its stupid that i HAVE a job but they refuse to give me hours. this is genuinely worse than being unemployed
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“I thought we’d go on chasing eachother forever” for THEM is…an actual fucking love confession. Like i really think we’re underestimating this guys!!! Kacchan is literally admitting he expected and WANTED TO HAVE IZUKU IN HIS LIFE FOREVER, OPENLY SOBBING IN EMPATHY FOR IZUKU AND WHAT THEY HAD TOGETHER. S O B B I N G OVER THEM LOSING *THEIR* DREAM. That is as close to a love confession as I’ve ever seen one you guys. He fucking loves izuku and now that he knows they won’t be able to go on chasing and competing eachother in their fun little plausible deniability dynamic I’m so FUCKING excited to see how their dynamic changes to accommodate kacchan continuing to keep izuku in his life now that theyve lost their “reason.” They fucking love eachother. They’re gonna start dating. They fucking ARE
#you expect kacchan to just like??? let deku be his fucking support gear manager/good buddy???#after ALL THEY WENT THROUGH???#i think THE FUCK not#where do they go from here? do we really think katsukis just gonna be happy with no longer having izukus eyes on him 24/7??#no hes gonna fucking think how do i keep him in my life if we cant push ourselves to our limit anymore#if we cant fight out our feelings anymore and play catch a kacchan anymore and and#the obvious answer is to move in together#bkdk#bakudeku#mha424#bakugo softski
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coming back home.
@barrenclan
#patfw#patfw fanart#patfw spoilers#rainhaze#THE NEW ISSUE. IT SURE WAS AN ISSUE HUH. I AM NORMAL. SO NORMAL IN FACT#THAT I REDREW A PANEL OF THE COMIC IN MS PAINT#i need someone to put this horrid beast down already. he needs to DIE i am not joking. euthanise him. please.#he is soooo fascinating.#i CANT get over his expression in this panel. WHAT IS WRONG WITH HIM#hes smiling .is it a genuine smile? is he smiling bc he knows how this is going to go and all he can do is laugh now?#why. why why why the smile. at first he looks shocked or surprised or terrified but THEN it turns into this playful soft grin. as if full o#nostalgia. or maybe grief. or maybe joy. he looks like he knows something we dont.#did he accept that his family is going to get wiped out (HIS FAULT HE KILLED HER HE RIPPED HER THROAT OUT) and is just happy he got to see#them one last time?#this is so weird. before killing asphodel he was so terrified of meeting them. of facing his past and acknowledging what he became.#is him smiling a symbol of him giving up? becoming part of defiance? hes not running away anymore. he doesnt have to.#jesus.#my art#wanted to make him look as fucked up as i could. i hope he looks like a corpse or perhaps a starved dog to you
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happy valentines day may all your love be monstrous and uncontainable
#almost done with my dmmd playthru again. yippee#my bf's big beautiful brain got him into med school so now he's stuck studying while im stuck drawing ppl eating each other. happy v day#dmmd#dramatical murder#someone commission me to draw more of these fucks i love drawing them but i cant justify doing it more bc#there's something else i have to be working on that ppl are actually paying me for lol#aoba seragaki#ren#fanart#artists on tumblr#tw gore#tw blood#i've been on here so long i dont even know how tws work anymore sorry. avert ur eyes
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i love when ppl draw bumblebee like the happy little creachure he is but also i love when people draw bumblebee like he's had 500 beers in the last 1 hour and still the pain won't even ebb
#bonus when they do both by making him just utterly psychotic but he smiles so no one notices#i am a shameful idw bee enjoyer but like in the tired af ppl pleasing libra girl who needs a therapist so fking bad but#has 700000 billion duties and 900000000 billion expectations and mean bitches in his ear telling him hes stupid#sense#and not the he feels like an officer sense like no my queen is just a teachers pet doing her best which is her worst im afraid#anyways i love bee hes very indignant and a bitch but also im gonna stand beside her sorry#u do not understand how powerful it was to give him a cane . a literal crutch to hold onto to feel stronger even when ratchet says he doesnt#have to anymore but yet bee still insists bcs he doesnt have time for the repairs itll take when others cannot survive#and 2 it comforts him with support and also power and so he cradles it close with the idea of him being weak & needing smthing else#to make him strong#even tho at this point it's rlly just for comfort but he cant afford to allow himself to have comfort when others cant#or dont need it in his heroism ideals (specifically optimus being seen as so much stronger than him)#optimus also had bee tho. had him. but bee is so self conscious he just sees all his failures surrounding optimus & views himself not a#crutch to lean on but a crutch to optimus' character#he rlly needed rodimus and his fiery upbeat persona so they could fake it till they made it together and he left & fucking exploded#(in bees eyes)#like idk im just obsessed with this little tryhard loser#he islike a sad little clingy mother who refuses to think herself as human. she is just mother. lives off evrryones accomplishments#never her own#idk like hes so interesting tonme i want to kill him teehee#chew on him like sponge cak#bumblebee#transformers#tf bumblebee#tf idw#idw#tf#????#maccadam#i hate not knowing waht tag to use
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these panels are going to make me cry. hes so girldad
#PLEASE CALL YOUR WIFE KING. I CANT DO THIS ANYMORE#HE EVEN PUT HER LITTLE BOW IN ONE OF THEM....#if this manga concludes without this fucking loser calling his wife im going to kill myself forreal.#please for the love of god chilchuck i need to see your daughters#personal
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someone should have stopped me from putting these side by side but here we are. i can't do this anymore what the fuck.
a difference from at least six thousand years—and they are completely different people, crowley is absolutely right about that. the starmaker was lost in the fall, and crowley has been trying to find himself again ever since.
the final fifteen robbed him of anything light that was still persevering, because crowley's don't bother is him giving up. he's done. he can't do this anymore and then he still waits.
he still waits.
and he will keep waiting.
#alex talks good omens#good omens#crowley#aziraphale#good omens season 2#go2#aziracrow#crowley x aziraphale#ineffable husbands#ineffable wives#ineffable spouses#ineffable divorce#the final fifteen#what if i took apart a wall brick by brick with my bare hands#jesus christ i cant do this anymore#every day i find new ways of inflicting pain who gave me this curse#also david tennant genuinely fucking blew my mind with the starmaker#i dont know how he does it but goddamn
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