Tumgik
#and i cant even really say why. i just had to. and now im here a decade later. still writing
thisgirlnamedblusy · 2 days
Note
pspspspspsps here kitty kitty kitty (Joking,... now you laugh) ....
Italian, Fem!Reader, that had traveled briefly to the village, to sell some books, movies, and whatnot -- just to grant the vilagers some sense of like.. the outside world? If that makes sense?
Reader, having already timed their escape, decides to go to that peculiar house up on the hill, across the bridge, before their departure, -- maybe the residents, who, Reader thought, was an old couple, or a very wealthy woman, .. maybe even one of those trust-fund families.. yes! Reader BET that the inhabitant of a place so grand would spend a pretty penny on some foreign knowledge.. maybe, Reader could even upsell. Yes! That would be enough to pay off Readers risky carriage fees.. (nervous laughter)
Reader, ignoring all darkness, all red flags and blatant signs of danger, because, well, Reader is very oblivious, and very optimistic, -- and, well, they barely know English, so, .. how would Reader know what the villagers say about the owner of said.. Oh-so large mansion? Pfft. As if.
'Oh.. its getting dark. Jeez, the trees sure do make this place gloomy!' 'Uhhhh.. why do i have a blaring sense of discomfort, nausea, unease, and a will of fright that makes my stomach churn with instinct to yeet myself the opposite direction? Oh, man, i knew i shouldnt have eaten that un-refrigerated fruit!'
Angie, if i remember that dollies name correctly, answers .. takes one look at Reader, in all of their 'Italian-beauty-standard-fitting', 'italian-book-carrying', 'Donna-language-speaking' glory (Donna language speaking because.. Italian. That was also a joke. Plz laugh), and immidiately, with that screechy voice calls Donna over
Donna fucking FAAAWNNNSSS over everything Reader has, buys their entire stock, then, out of pure gushy-ness, of how nostalgic, and amazing, and flavourful (meaning, how much stuff that Donna was desperately searching for, Reader has in stock) Readers 'for-sales' are, that she, spur-in-the-moment, ushurs Reader inside, makes them tea and whatnot,
well.. so much for Readers plan of escape. Poor bus-maid Reader hired, they thought, as they sat awkwardly beside the lady in black, veiled thickly, who was talking in Italian, since, well, Reader has little to no knowledge of english. Atleast shes also Italian. Thats nice. Wait.. why does Reader feel their cheeks heating up? Gosh, darn it, Reader has read (aha) far too many romance books.
Make it so that, since Reader, who, now, cant escape the Village, since their little plans of flight had been SPOILEDD!! (reference. Chuckles) they stay with Donna, then, after awhile, after teaching Donna everything they know about Italy, and get really comftorable with her, and sees her without her veil on accident, and cooks traditionally, does fucking .. house chores, because, well, they're an unpaying guest in a strangers home, they both start catchin' feelsies and all that sweet stuff. I'll leave the deciding of when and how to you! How generous of me!
(No smut, please. Aroace look'enne for sum intimate, not-so-intimate love. Aha. Joke again. Just a little giggle, please 😨)
Hope ya have an amazing day!! Yes, i know im too descriptive, im just awesome like that. Much apreesh, Anon. 💗
(p.s, thank u blusy 🫂🫂🫂 virtual hugs from italy. ciao bbg.. or.. bbb.. i dont .. i dunno)
Yesss!!!! Well, that was quite long request, but it was funny to write!!! Thank you for sending it and for your funny words!!!! I hope you like it and sorry about the language(s) mistakes!!!!
Foreign Business
Pairing: Donna Beneviento x Fem, Italian! Reader
Warnings: fluff, Donna being Donna
Word count: 8,585
Summary: Should you leave that gloomy village?
N/A: Sorry about the language mistakes!!! Requests are open!!! I'm waiting yours!!! I love you all!!!
Tumblr media
“17:30, do you hear me?” the young woman driving the small bus said.
You rolled your eyes and nodded, picking up your stuff.
“I don't think it will… How do you say… take long,” you murmured with an innocent smile, taking out your suitcase as best you could, letting it fall into the snow.
“Hey, stranger,” the girl said, with a gloomy look. “You have to pay me now.”
“Cosa? No, I'll pay you when I get back,” you said with a frown, crossing your arms.
“I'm leaving,” the girl whispered, starting the vehicle again.
“Hey, hey, hey, hey! No, no, no…” you said comically running towards the small bus. “Why are you in such a hurry?”
“Look stranger, it's clear that you have no idea of what’s going on in this place, right?” the driver asked, with a raised eyebrow. You shook your head and smiled innocently.
“Hey, I was invited,” you protested confused, giving up and taking out your wallet.
“Who has invited you?” she wanted to know.
“I have a relative in this country who is also a businessman,” you explained, putting on your coat because of the cold. “He says he is known as… The Duke.”
The girl looked at you curiously, but finally shook her head.
“No idea…” she murmured. “Besides, that doesn’t matter to me. My job is to bring you here and take you back to Bucharest. If for… Well, for whatever reason you don’t come back, I’ll be left without my money, do you understand?”
“Why wouldn’t I come back?” you asked nervously, looking down the hill, where the old village stood in a frozen mist. “I'm just going to sell my stuff and…”
“You bore me,” the driver sighed, with a mocking laugh that made you burn with rage. “Just pay me now, spaghetti.”
“Mm, politeness is not your best virtue, is it?” you murmured, wishing to say other things, other not-so-elegant words.
After all, that stupid girl was your only transportation in that place in the middle of nowhere… You should control your desire to insult her with all your might.
“I'd rather be rude than stupid,” the young woman laughed, extending her hand for you to give her the money you were holding, squeezing it tightly.
“Ugh, here, your money,” you grumbled, getting a satisfied look from the driver, who turned off the engine, reclining her seat and picking up a magazine.
“A pleasure doing business with you, spaghetti...” she sighed with a sinister laugh.
You, without her seeing you, made fun of her, angrily picking up your suitcase and walking towards the path where you had met with the Duke.
“Stupida...” you hissed, shaking your head, observing the landscape around you.
The trip had been exhausting. Dodging the mountains, those snowy landscapes had taken you too much time, but, that seemingly remote place had a special charm that made it worth it.
You were always a saleswoman, descendant of a family of merchants that expanded throughout old Europe decades ago. Sell, buy, repeat… That was your way of life. Trading in the villages of your country, Italy, was something simple for you, perhaps too simple.
The lack of interest of people in the modern world for something as simple as books, films, or any element of culture, had caused your business to falter, and you had no more than four clients in your area.
You always believed in tradition, in following the family legacy, even when circumstances were not in your favour. You could say that you were also a bit stubborn. Your family branched out to all possible places, places like France, Germany, Spain…
They all seemed to be haunted by the same curse, the same lack of interest in a good book, in knowledge itself.
But there was one place, a place where the tentacles of your family had arrived to stay for a long time, a place where the past lived, where present and future seemed not to exist at all.
A distant relative, the Duke, was for you the luckiest member of the family. Not even your parents knew how long that man had been in that village, in Romania. There were even rumors that he never came, that he never left, he had always existed.
Nonsense and legends in your opinion.
What you did know was that in that place, there were some business opportunities.
You had heard many things about the Duke, about the place where he worked. Apart from old superstitions and legends of witches and vampires, things you didn't believe in, you had heard that the people of the place lived completely oblivious to the outside world.
A unique opportunity. How much would a person pay to know what the world around them was like?
You didn't really care much about the reasons, those strange rumors. You didn't even wonder why that village seemed to be frozen in time. The only thing you thought about when you got on that plane was business.
“Qui...” you sighed when you reached that meeting point the Duke marked.
Without having anything else to do but wait, you sorted your merchandise while you studied the snowy forest that surrounded you, trying to decipher the old wooden signs that indicated illegible directions.
“Re-Reser-Reservoir...” you stammered, removing the snow from one of those signs, looking around. “Un bacino idrico?” you asked, scratching your head. “Mm, interessante...”
Yes, maybe if you finished soon you could do some sightseeing and, above all, you could see the enormous castle that seemed to guard the village.
The minutes passed, you couldn't tell if quickly or slowly. Nothing, there was no sign of the Duke. You might not have known what he looked like, but… In reality, you hadn't seen anyone pass by that path.
The cold began to mix with impatience, making you shiver.
“Ah!” you shrieked when, out of nowhere, a flock of black crows appeared, passing over you, close, too close.
Those black birds seemed like an evil omen, but you were too eager to know that place to realize it. Simply, with a proud cough, you stood up from your crouched position, shaking the snow off your dress.
“Uccelli…” you growled furiously, watching how that flock of crows moved away with sinister sounds.
Checking that your merchandise was still intact, you closed your suitcase, crossing your arms, slowly losing patience.
As you sighed for the umpteenth time, you realized that maybe you were in the wrong place. Asking wouldn't do any good, and besides, there was no one you could ask.
“Mm?” you muttered when you noticed something different among your stuff, a sealed envelope that you could swear wasn't there before.
Looking around confused, thinking no way those crows left that envelope, you slowly picked it up, opening it with a frown. As you began to read, you looked nervously at that forest again. It was a letter for you, in the middle of nowhere.
Dear (Y/N)
I'm afraid something unexpected has come up. It prevents me from attending to you, even though I was certainly looking forward for us to meet. I suppose that, since you are my family, to trade in the village on your own won't be a problem for you.
I'm sorry for the inconvenience.
PS: A word of advice, listen to what the villagers tell you, I wouldn't want the wolves to devour you, or anything worse. Please take care of yourself.
Duke
There was no doubt about it, that letter had arrived there by magic. The idea of ​​messenger crows seemed less and less crazy. But the reality was overwhelming: you were alone in that unknown place.
You had two options: You could take your suitcase, walk back in your tracks and go to the bus, writing yet another failure in your diary, a very expensive one. On the other hand, you could ignore those chills, that feeling of being where you shouldn't be and do what you had come to do.
I wouldn't want the wolves to devour you, or anything worse…
That warning seemed like an irony, a little joke that was surely common to all outsiders like you. Well, it's not like it was a place where there could be wolves but… That wasn't the disturbing thing. What could be worse than being savagely devoured by those beasts?
Curiosity or cowardice, that was your dilemma.
With a thoughtful sigh, you looked at those two possible paths, imagining that, under each of them, there was a line of text that told you which page to go to, like those adventure books that offered several possibilities, some of them fatal ones.
You always fantasized too much thanks to those books. Maybe if you had been as rational as the protagonists of those great adventures, you would have considered your possibilities better.
Shrugging, not wanting to have wasted your money on a fruitless trip, you didn’t listen to the Duke's letter. After all, your job was to talk to people, you didn't need his help, or so you thought.
The castle was increasingly imposing as you approached. It was fascinating, a place from a novel, full of possibilities. Surely when you returned home and read one of those books, you would imagine that gloomy and mysterious landscape.
The glances traveled to your eyes passively. These villagers were definitely strange, they seemed to either fear you, or wish you away, you weren't sure.
Unfortunately, your eagerness to offer knowledge to these poor souls was unsuccessful.
Muttering things you didn't quite understand, in an English that was practically incomprehensible to you, which, on the other hand, was bad luck, since you didn't fully master the language either, each one of the doors of those old cabins closed in your face.
“Hey, I haven't even said my name!” you protested after the tenth disinterested grunt from one of the inhabitants of that place. “Cazzo…”
The door opened again and a young woman with an apologetic look appeared.
“Forgive my father. He doesn't trust outsiders,” the young woman said. Well, at least she spoke to you. “My name is Elena.”
“Sono (Y/N),” you said politely, shaking your hand with the young woman's, who frowned upon hearing you speak that way.
“It's clear that you're not a villager,” the girl joked, closing the door.
“No, I'm Italian,” you said, with a business smile that you had already rehearsed.
The young Elena nodded curiously, glancing at your suitcase.
“Are you a merchant?” she asked, pointing at your merchandise.
You nodded slowly.
“Yes, I've come on behalf of a relative... His name is, or he calls himself... Duke,” you explained with a trembling voice. Your nerves couldn't fail you. At least you had managed to talk to someone.
“The Duke?” the girl asked, with a surprised look. “Wow, I didn't know he had a family.”
“Yes, but he seems to be the only one who is successful,” you murmured jokingly, pronouncing the words in the best way possible. “Well... Elena, right? Are you interested in something?”
“No, I'm sorry. I'm afraid we have everything we need,” she said, shaking her head with a kind smile. “My father says that books are a waste of time.”
“Sciocchezze,” you sighed with a mischievous smile, showing her a vinyl record. “What about music? It's the sound of the soul.”
“No, no, I... I'm afraid we don't need anything like that,” Elena shook her head again.
“Oh, great,” you said, letting your smile fade at the thought that you couldn't even get enough money to recoup the investment of the trip.
“Don't be offended, just…” the young woman said, gesturing with her hands to emphasize her apology. “… We just work to live, that's, that's all we do, anything else would be entertainment.”
“Oh,” you said curiously, arching your eyebrows.
“But, um…” the girl said, looking around. “Maybe, maybe I know someone who might be interested.”
“Do you?” you asked.
Elena nodded, briefly pointing to a large house that stood out from the orchards.
“Luiza has always been a very cultured woman, and she is very kind. Maybe she would want to listen to you,” the young woman explained, in a kind tone. You blinked, looking at the indicated place, and smiled. “She lives up there, in the orchards.”
“Elena!” A loud voice was heard inside the cabin and the girl shuddered.
“I'm coming, father!” Elena shrieked, with another apologetic look. “Sorry, (Y/N), but…”
“Oh, of course, there is no… Pro-problem,” you said nervous about the impatience of that unpleasant man. “Luiza… Okay. Ciao!”
At least that girl helped you not to lose hope.
Elena wasn't lying, that Luiza seemed a bit different from the rest of the villagers, kinder, smarter, with an understandable English... It seems that you interested her enough to invite you into her house.
“Wait there, I'll make tea,” she said kindly, indicating that you sit at a table where a man seemed to be sharpening a knife with a distrustful look. After a few tense seconds, the man left his task, looking at you with distrust.
“So you're a merchant...” he whispered, tilting his head and crossing his arms.
“Yes,” you answered, with that well-rehearsed smile.
“And an outsider...” he whispered, with a sinister smile. “Luiza says you are related to the Duke...”
“That's right,” you said, without losing your merchant composure.
He laughed, shaking his head.
“Wow, I didn't know the fat man had a family,” the man said, with the same surprise in his voice as the young woman before. “Where are you from?”
“Italy,” you said proudly, ignoring those dark eyes, which hardened when they heard you answer.
“Italy, you say?” he asked, leaning a little towards you, narrowing his eyes. “You say you're related to the Duke?”
“Y-Yes,” you stammered, confused by that change in attitude.
“Mm, are you sure you're related to the merchant?” he asked suspiciously, making you nervous. “Hey, maybe by any chance you know...”
“Ahem,” Luiza interrupted, serving you the cup of tea. “Marcus.”
“What? I'm just asking, the girl says she's Italian,” the man, her husband, apparently, protested. “You and I know who…”
“Marcus,” Luiza said, with a firmer tone. The man shook his head, sighing in defeat. “Don't scare the poor girl.”
“Bah, if she's not scared yet, she must be brave, or stupid,” Marcus commented, laughing amused. You made an effort to smile at that little joke, smelling the delicious aroma of tea.
“Okay, (Y/N), unlike my husband, I’m interested in those foreign items… Do you have any opera records?”
“Oh, sure, sure,” you said, as if coming out of a confused thought, opening your suitcase and putting on a display of everything you had.
Well, you did manage to sell a few things. You would always be grateful to that woman, the only kind woman in that place, apart from the young girl, of course. But even with that partial success, you didn't have enough to feel like you had succeeded.
If that woman had bought you something, nobody was telling you that there couldn't be more Luizas in that place. You just had to find them.
You were ready to leave that house, when a small book caught your attention. It looked like a book full of old photographs of the village. You approached it with curiosity while Luiza kindly opened the door for you.
“Um, sorry, but... Can I take a look?” you asked, pointing at the book. The woman looked at her husband and he shrugged, making a vague gesture of farewell.
“Of course...” the woman sighed, faking a smile. You returned it gratefully, starting to turn the pages of that album. “This village is an old one.”
“I see,” you commented nodding, turning pages and pages full of snowy landscapes. “My family had told me about this place, but... Well, not much. What is this?” you asked, pointing to a kind of square guarded by four large statues.
“Those are the… The four founders of the village,” Luiza explained. “The Dimitrescu family, owner of the castle; the Moreau family, owner of the lake lands; the Heisenberg family who owned a metal factory on the outskirts of the village, and the… The Beneviento family, the doll makers.”
“Oh,” you sighed interested, not even hearing the names very well, you were more attentive to those old photographs. “Does anyone live in the castle? I'd like to visit it.”
“Um, no, I…” the woman stammered, making you frown. “I don't think you should go near it, (Y/N).”
“Isn't it open to the public? What a pity,” you said with a disappointed voice.
Luiza made a strange gesture, shaking her head.
“Young lady, take some advice from me,” the woman said, speaking in a very low tone, approaching you with a hand on your shoulder. “You must leave this place.”
“Why?” you asked, confused, looking away at another of the photographs, one with a beautiful mansion, guarded by a waterfall.
It quickly caught your attention, even making you ignore the kind woman's warning words.
“Because…” Luiza sighed, with a broken tone, as if she were afraid of something. “It's not the best place for an outsider.”
“Oh, yeah, well,” you said, amused, gesturing with your hand. “I have people skills. That's not a problem. Tell me, is this house in the village?”
“Oh, that house…” Luiza murmured, looking at the same photograph.
“It's impressive,” you said curious. “Does anyone live there?” you insisted, running your hand over the drawing of what looked like a symbol, one with a moon and a sun.
“It's, it's far from here,” the woman commented, closing the album and subtly pushing you towards the exit. “Listen to me, don't go near that place. It's very dangerous.”
You shook your head with wide eyes, pulling your suitcase.
“Everything here seems very dangerous,” you commented with a low voice and a frown. The woman put on a sad look, caressing your cheek in a strange way.
“Go away, (Y/N), go away before the shadows invade you,” Luiza whispered, turning her back on you and closing the door softly, leaving you petrified on the floor.
“Cosa diavolo non va?” you asked yourself with a strange grimace, slowly moving away from the house.
Ignoring these strange warnings, you walked aimlessly through the village, looking for someone who wasn't afraid of your presence, or who wouldn't bow their head, ignoring your greeting.
Tired from your erratic walk, you decided to lean against a stone sculpture, in the middle of another snowy square. Failure loomed in your thoughts, in your mind, wondering if perhaps with the Duke present, things would have been different.
You looked at your watch and sighed, it was still early to leave, and even more so when you had barely sold four things. You had to make an effort, either that, or try another nearby village.
The crows flew above you like a bad omen that you couldn't interpret. The sky was dark, gloomy.
Don't let the shadows invade you...
Luiza's words echoed in your ears, words you didn't know how to interpret, or rather, that you didn't want to interpret. You were in a different country, in a different culture, lost in that snowy, sinister village. Even though you believed that nothing could go wrong, a bad feeling began to haunt you.
Yes, maybe it was time to leave.
You stood up with a defeated gasp, shaking your head, depressed by your ridiculous failure. But, you had barely taken two steps when something caught your attention.
In front of you was a wooden door, a kind of fence that separated a private property. Above the frame, there was a symbol, one that you remembered having seen before: that moon and that sun.
Your mind was left thinking. Yes, surely that would be the way to the waterfall house. It had to be. Luiza warned you to not get too close but… Curiosity was calling you.
Okay, it wasn't a huge castle but… Still, that mansion couldn't belong to just any villager. The curious relationship of wealth, bigger houses and kindness that you found in the village made you think that maybe someone rich lived there, a person or family with enough money to think about leisure or wisdom.
“Mm,” you murmured curiously, approaching that place, looking at that symbol closely. The door was open. You almost thought you heard whispers that encouraged you to enter that dark path.
You swallowed when a cold breeze came out of that darkness. Your body trembled for no reason, but your mind was blinded by greed. You couldn't miss that opportunity to know what or who was on the other side, who lived in that place.
The sunlight illuminated the path you had to follow with increasingly less intense rays. Slowly, you followed that luminous advice, entering through the wooden door, walking towards the unknown.
It didn't seem like a very strange place, or so you thought. The trees seemed sad, that place seemed devoured by time. Strange objects hung from the almost rotten branches, which you passed by without flinching.
You simply kept your mind busy, like a danger blocking mechanism that seemed to alert your subconscious. Instead of worrying, when you saw that those things hanging from the trees were dolls, you simply whistled, making your way through the branches with a slow walk.
You passed an old wooden bridge, one that said: go away in all possible languages. You were never good at interpreting those words, those screams from your mind that demanded your attention.
The sunlight diminished as you walked, it was getting dark. The branches of the trees drew disturbing shadows that surrounded a pair of ruined cabins.
“Brr,” you shivered when you saw those wooden claws stalking you.
The smile never left your face, but your body began to notice the symptoms of that inner fear; a dizziness, a feeling of heaviness in your stomach... All of these were physical signs that seemed to want to stop you in your tracks.
You even thought that the tea or the fruit you ate at Luiza's had upset your stomach. No, you didn't see the danger in any way, or rather, you didn't want to see it.
Finally you reached a clearing, where a mound showed a sinister grave you didn't want to approach. Your stupidity and your desire for wealth were so strong that you thought it was perhaps a simple decoration.
“Un ascensore...” you murmured when you reached a red door, surely the entrance to that curious mansion.
Biting your lip, you rubbed your hands entering those metal bars. Of course, whoever lived in that place had to have a lot of money, and, above all, a great desire to spend it. You fantasized about what you were going to find: a rich family? A widow, perhaps? A wealthy man? Maybe one of the founders of the village’s descendants? It didn't matter who it was, but you could smell money from miles away.
When you got out of the elevator, the sight in front of you forced you to stop. There was that house, that huge house with a beautiful waterfall next to it.
“If this doesn't work, I'm leaving the business,” you said, rehearsing in your head the phrases to say to the inhabitant of that place, greetings, smiles, all your charms.
The sound of the falling water relaxed you, although you didn't know why you were even nervous. The word danger whispered in your mind like a premonition or intuition, but you let the waterfall completely eclipse it. The beauty of that place couldn't entail any danger, you were convinced.
You cleared your throat as you approached the door, slowly climbing the steps. At the moment, there was nothing that matched Luiza's warnings, nothing, until, before you could knock on the door, it opened with an ominous creak.
“Um, hello?” you asked, seeing how, in front of you, there was nothing but a beautiful wooden room, with a rocking chair that moved by itself. “Ciao...” you repeated in a lower voice.
There didn't seem to be anyone in that place and you sighed, relaxing your shoulders and looking around.
“Oh!” you squealed in fear when you looked down, where, what looked like a ventriloquist's doll was standing looking at you. “Oh... Cazzo... What...” you said upset. “Good... Good trick...”
Smiling, thinking that, like the gravestones in the clearing, this was just a joke, you crouched down curiously, looking at that puppet.
“Hello?” you repeated, standing up again and ignoring the doll, which, perhaps because of the accumulated fatigue, you thought was following you with its gaze.
“Down here, stupid!” a high-pitched screech scared you again, making you fall backwards, tripping and crashing your body against the hard stone of the porch.
But neither the pain of the fall nor the fright were the worst. Yes, you were not dreaming, if it was a joke, it was the best one you had ever seen.
That doll, that damn doll moved, moved its articulated mouth, laughing out loud.
“Who are you?” the puppet asked, approaching your collapsed body. You backed away scared, crawling until you reached those small steps.
“Ahhh! Una bambola parlante!” you shrieked in fear, standing up as quickly as possible with your hands in front of your body.
“Who are you calling a talking doll, you silly, silly?” the puppet asked.
No, there was no doubt. There were no strings, no ventriloquist, it was alive.
“Ah, io, io… What?” you stammered nervously, shaking your head, blinking hard to make what was undoubtedly a hallucination go away. It didn’t.
“Wait, wait, wait, can you repeat that?” the doll said, approaching with a comical step. “What did you just say?”
“Cosa?” you asked, grabbing your suitcase, ready to run away. “Sorry, I… No, no… What?”
“You called me a talking doll,” it said, crossing its arms.
 You nodded confused.
“I'm, I'm, I'm sorry... No, no...” you stammered, still shocked and scared by the impossibility of that old toy. It couldn't move, it just couldn't.
“Who are you?” it asked again. “Why do you know Italian?”
“I-I-I'm Italian,” you stammered, shaking your head.
The doll tilted its head curiously, looking you up and down.
“You're a long way from home, you silly Italian,” the doll commented in a mocking tone.
You blinked again, scratching the back of your neck, searching all over the doll for the mechanism that was supposed to make it behave like that. You didn't find it.
“I-I'm a merchant,” you said with a broken voice. The doll nodded, walking towards you quickly, climbing up your dress. It was too close, you couldn't move.
“Merchant?” it asked again, looking at you as if it was reading your soul. “What do you sell?”
“I sell… I sell… Books and… Vinyl and… Movies…” you explained when the doll finally got off your body, without taking those cold eyes off you.
“Books and movies?” the puppet asked.
You, nervous, still scared, nodded erratically.
“Do you have Italian stuff?”
“S-Sure I have,” you whispered in a small voice.
“Mm,” the doll murmured turning around, but looking at you several times before disappearing into the darkness of the mansion. “Donna, Donna! You have to see this, come, come!”
“Donna?” you asked yourself, gathering enough courage to walk back to the door, where, after a few seconds, the sound of heels approached.
In front of you was a woman, a woman dressed completely in black, with a veil covering her face. She had a stoic pose, she emanated danger, and even more so when you saw that she was holding the doll in her arms.
Even if she was the most experienced ventriloquist in the world, she could never have done that, it was simply impossible.
“She's pretty, huh, Donna?” the doll said, nudging the lady, who sighed tiredly. “An Italian beauty knocking on your door, not even in your dreams could you imagine something like that.”
“Angie…” A hoarse, dark voice came out of that black veil while the woman lowered the doll to the floor. It laughed amusedly, staring at you again.
“Um, well…” you murmured confused, with your gaze fixed on that black veil, on those invisible eyes that you knew were watching you. “H-Hello…”
There was no answer. The lady didn't even seem to be bothered by your words.
“Um… I'm… I'm (Y/N),” you said, putting fear aside and politely extending your hand towards her, who looked at it briefly, without returning your greeting. “No? Okay… Well…”
“I'm Angie!” the doll shrieked, grabbing your hand instead of its owner and shaking it roughly. “Nice to scare you!”
“H-Hello… Suppongo…” you whispered, still confused but, mysteriously, more relaxed.
“Forgive her, she doesn’t like to talk,” the doll explained, pointing at its owner in a mocking way. “Shall I tell you a secret? She's Italian too.”
“Oh, really?” you asked, looking at the lady, who nodded briefly. “Che strana coincidenza…”
“Perché strana?” that hoarse voice asked again, the voice of that mysterious lady.
“Oh, well…” you said embarrassed, of course, that doll hadn't lied to you. “No, it's nothing…”
“Che vuoi?” the lady in black asked again, her tone lighter, but reflected impatience.
“I'm, I'm a merchant,” you said again, trying to smile, making a superhuman effort to make that strange situation stop being so strange.
After all, she was the inhabitant of that place, and she was also Italian. The business seemed to call you…
“She sells a lot of things, Donna!” the doll shrieked, pointing at you. “Things you like!”
“Mm,” the woman in black murmured, looking over your shoulder at the merchandise. “Me li può mostrare?”
“Oh, sure, sure…” you said nervously, heading towards your suitcase and opening it on the floor, closely followed by that strange doll, which didn't seem to want to leave you alone.
“Look, Donna, your favorite record!” the doll squealed, rummaging through the merchandise without any kind of hesitation, under your watchful gaze, and hers.
The lady took that vinyl, observing it carefully. You almost thought you heard a slight laugh coming out of that veil.
“È, it's a special edition,” you murmured when you saw how interested she seemed to be. “You, you know… Come prima… Più di prima…” you sang in a timid and horrible way.
The veiled lady looked up with a sigh.
“Are you also a singer?” she asked with a weak, whispering voice.
You laughed nervously shaking your head, with your cheeks slightly blushed.
“No… The truth is, I’m not… Although, although they've always told me that I have a beautiful voice,” you said timidly, looking sideways as Angie rummaged through the books.
“Mm,” the lady murmured with disinterest, looking at the vinyl again.
“Donna, Donna! Nonna's favorite book!” the doll squealed, handing her one of your books in perfect condition. “Look, look, this one isn't broken!”
“I have that one on sale… If, if you're interested… Donna, right?” you said with your voice cracked by nerves, playing with your sweaty hands.
“Donna? Lady Beneviento for you, silly!” the doll snapped at you, in a haughty tone.
“Beneviento?” you asked involuntarily, knowing that you had heard that name somewhere.
Of course you heard it. Like a whisper of help, your mind recalled Luiza's words, those that explained to you the families who had founded the village. Of course, that Donna Beneviento was an important person in that place. Despite everything strange, your greed took precedence, she seemed truly interested in what you were selling.
The mysterious woman nodded slowly, leafing through that book with curiosity.
“I’m sorry, Lady Beneviento,” you said elegantly, lowering your head. You knew she was not an ordinary villager and therefore, you could not treat her as such.
“Vieni,” she whispered, gesturing for you to enter the house.
You nodded nervously, closing your suitcase and pulling it into the mansion, with an extra weight. That living doll had climbed on top of it, swinging its legs in a playful way.
“Hey, do you mind?” you said nervously. The doll, obviously, shook her head.
You groaned, still in disbelief, and when you looked again you saw something strange.
There was a portrait, a portrait hanging on the wall of the stairs. On it, there was a woman, a really beautiful, gorgeous woman with a pale face, serious eyes and black hair. Next to her, there was that puppet, the Angie doll. Would she be the lady?
Lady Beneviento cleared her throat, getting your attention, letting you know through her non-verbal language, that she didn't want you to look at that portrait. You decided to be good and obey.
“Sit down, I'll make some tea and we'll talk business,” the woman whispered, pointing to a cozy corner of that house.
“Sure... Yes, um... Thank you,” you said with a kind smile.
The woman in black looked at you for an almost awkward moment and then turned around, walking slowly towards a hallway. You followed her with your eyes until she disappeared.
It was a strange situation indeed. Perhaps you should have listened better to your survival instincts.
After what seemed like an eternity, the lady returned, serving you a cup of tea with an elegant gesture and sitting in front of you.
“Grazie…” you whispered with a grateful smile, blowing on the steaming liquid. “Truth be told, I didn't expect to find someone who spoke my language… I've never been good with English.”
“You seem to speak it quite well,” she commented, with a regal pose, barely moving, not letting anyone see for a moment what that black veil was hiding.
“I have no choice, I guess,” you sighed, shaking your head.
“Do you trade all over Europe?” she asked curiously as you opened your suitcase again, your hands shaking.
You weren’t there to chat. You had gone to do business. You couldn’t forget that.
“No, I… Well, I used to trade only in Italy,” you explained with a sad smile.
“Where in Italy are you from?” she asked again as Angie, with the suitcase open again, rubbed her wooden hands, rummaging through your stuff with an evil laugh.
You looked back at the lady, a bit confused.
“Da che parte d’Italia vieni?” the lady repeated with a slightly darker voice. “Nord, sud…?”
“Oh, yes, Well… I was born in the city of… This may seem like a joke to you but… I’m from the city of Benevento,” you said with a shy smile.
 You didn’t want her to think you were laughing at her. It was just a stupid coincidence.
“Mm, why would I think it's a joke?” she asked, with a tired sigh.
“Well, because of your… Your last name… It's quite similar, isn't it?” you said with a fake smile. “Are you from around there?”
“No,” the lady answered dryly, without bothering to shake her head. “I was born here.”
“Oh, okay…” you murmured, glancing at the doll, who was shuffling through your books. “Hey, um… be careful…” you said to the doll, who made a mocking gesture, imitating your voice in an unpleasant way. “Hey, la, la bambola…”
“Angie”
“Yes, Angie…” you repeated with a frown. “Why is she alive?”
“That's none of your business,” she said, with a cold voice, one that ran through your nerves, putting them on alert again.
“O-Okay, sorry,” you murmured, looking down.
“Do you have Italian movies?” she asked after a tense moment, one that you took advantage of to hide your embarrassment in the teacup. “Film.”
“Oh, yes, yes of course…” you said nervously, reaching for the suitcase, rummaging through your messy things due to the Angie doll, who protested with a grunt at your hand. “I have a lot of these.”
“Mm?” the lady murmured, looking at the cover confused, opening it and taking out the disc. “What is this?”
“A, a movie,” you said, clearing your throat. “A DVD.”
“DVD…” she whispered, looking at her reflection in that shiny disc, visibly confused. You couldn't believe she didn't know it. That village was definitely stopped in time. “I'm sorry, I'm afraid I don't understand you.”
“Um, well…” you said, scratching the back of your neck, wondering how you were going to explain that to this mysterious woman. She didn't seem to be joking, at all.
“Hey, it's like a mirror!” Angie squealed, climbing onto her owner's lap and comically looking at herself in the disc, turning it curiously. “I want one, Donna, I want one!”
“Ugh, va bene…” the lady whispered, putting the DVD back in its place and handing it to the doll, who jumped victoriously. “It's still not what I'm looking for.”
“What… What are you looking for?” you asked, flashing your fake saleswoman smile again.
“Don't you have any 28mm rolls?” the woman wanted to know.
You nodded confused.
“Yes… But, but they are, they are special, I mean, I mean… They are… They are molto costose, you know… They are, they are almost museum relics,” you said, taking a metal box out of the suitcase and opening it, displaying its contents.
“Fine, I want them,” she murmured, nodding and snatching the box from your hands. “Money is not a problem.”
Well, that phrase fostered a more sincere smile on your face.
“Va bene… It is…” you said nervously, taking out a notebook in which you wrote down your sales.
“I'm not finished,” she interrupted you, leaving the box on the floor. “I also want those books.”
“Those? Which ones?” you asked confused by her vague description.
“All of them,” the lady said abruptly, leaving you glued to the seat. “I've been asking the Duke for that classic novel collection for a long time.”
“The Duke? Oh, well, I'm related to him,” you said smiling, taking the books out of the suitcase and leaving them on the table.
“You?!” Angie asked in a shrill voice, getting too close to you again. “Come on! You don't look like that fat greasy guy!”
“Fat greasy guy?” you asked amused. “Well, I don't really know him, but it seems that in this village you do it quite well.”
“Oh, yes, he's a scammer!” Angie shrieked laughing amused. “Isn't he, Donna?”
“Mm…” the lady nodded, distracted by the books.
That scared you.
“Oh, I… I'm not like him. I'm always fair with prices and… Cazzo, don't think I'm trying to rip you off or anything like that… Cazzo.”
“Do you mind stopping talking like that? I don't like rude girls,” Donna snapped at you, with a dangerous, annoyed tone.
“I'm, I'm sorry, it's just that... Well, I'm not used to being understood,” you explained with a different blush, one that was accentuated when a shy laugh came out of her veil.
“It was just a joke,” she said amused, more relaxed, surely fascinated by that collection of books she was looking for so much. “Do you want some more tea?”
“Oh, yes, per favore,” you said, extending your cup towards the teapot, with a calm smile.
“I still don't know what a girl like you is doing in a place like this...” she whispered after a moment of calm silence, one that served to, little by little, get you used to that sinister atmosphere, and that doll.
“It's a long story...” you sighed, leaning back on the old sofa.
“I have time,” she said, with the same tone as you. “I'm sure you'll appreciate having a chat in your native language, right?”
“S-Sure…”
As if you had suddenly forgotten what you were doing there, or how much time you had left to leave, you began to chat calmly with that strange woman.
At first she seemed gloomy, reluctant to hold any kind of conversation but… As you explained everything that led you to the village, your concerns, your goals… Well, her attitude relaxed quite a bit.
The short, dry sentences turned into a soft voice, into shy laughs from time to time. It seemed that she had gained some confidence with you, or so that living doll hinted. After your hectic trip through Romania, a chat in your language effectively lifted your spirits, it was almost like feeling at home.
On the other hand, that erratic behavior of the lady in black never ceased to surprise you. Like the rest of the villagers, she seemed not to understand or comprehend very well the outside world, the time in which you lived.
To your surprise, she had never even set foot on Italy. Yes, her family came from there, but, incredibly, Donna had never been there. But that was not the only thing that was curious, so were the words that claimed she had never left the village.
It might seem that this woman, with money, with power, from an important family, had little or no interest in traveling, in leaving this sinister time capsule.
But that was not the case. Her words were full of sadness, her sighs, that nostalgia with which she listened attentively to your words... It seemed as if deep down she wanted to leave, as if, for some reason, her stay in the village was some kind of condemnation for her.
The mansion grew darker as time went by as you talked, sharing impressions, tastes, hobbies… It was almost as if you had just met a friend, a friend with an interesting voice, with a beautiful body, with a subtle but intoxicating lavender perfume…
Your cheeks betrayed those erratic thoughts about the lady in black and you shook your head several times.
You, a cultured girl, a fan of romance novels, always tended to idealize that kind of situations. You didn't want to believe in love at first sight, but you certainly didn't know what it felt like, if it was even possible.
No, no, no, no… You couldn't think about that, despite how attractive Lady Beneviento was to you. Everything had an end, and sooner than you would have liked, yours came.
Sighing, finishing your last cup of tea, you looked at the clock and almost choked.
“Oh, cazzo!” you said hurriedly, getting up from the sofa. “5 o'clock, if I don't hurry…”
“What's wrong?” the lady in black asked, getting up too, playing nervously with her hands.
“I'd love to stay and chat but… If I don't make it to that stupida’s bus, she will leave without me and…” you explained, gathering that was left in your suitcase. Donna had bought almost everything without thinking about it.
“Are you going to leave?” she asked in a whisper, with a voice that, at least to you, seemed sad.
You looked at her and nodded with a polite smile, extending your hand towards her, a hand that, this time, she shook briefly.
Damn, her hands were very soft…
“It's been nice meeting you, Donna,” you said kindly, turning around to walk towards the hall.
“Are you going to let her just leave? Silly Donna…” you heard the doll whisper in an indiscreet manner.
“W-Wait, wait a moment,” the nervous lady said, running to meet you, making her veil move, inducing your mischievous eyes to look at what was underneath. “D-Do you really have to go?”
“Yes,” you said with a confused look, totally innocent.
“W-Wait, I… I…” she murmured, approaching slowly. “It's dangerous to go out at night.”
“Hey, can someone explain to me what it is that scares you so much about this place? And why are there living dolls?” you asked with an impatient tone, remembering each of the villagers' warnings.
“I'll explain everything to you, but, but only if you stay with me a little longer, just a little longer,” the lady said, in a tone that sounded curiously desperate. “Per favore…”
“Please, please!” the doll repeated in a shrill tone.
“Um…” you stammered, unable to find an answer, a desire to stay that you knew existed. But that village had already given you so much trouble, you wanted to leave, but at the same time, you didn't.
Damn senseless crush… How can you even know if you really liked that woman?
“Okay,” you said, letting your words speak for themselves, sighing as you looked at your wristwatch, knowing that, even if you ran, you wouldn't make it to the bus on time. “Hai un telefono?”
The lady nodded, pointing to a small table.
You walked slowly past her, checking how, in a disturbing way, the doll and owner followed you with their gaze.
“Irina?” you asked when someone finally answered, after a few tense moments.
“Oh spaghetti, it's you!” the driver of the bus screamed. She seemed agitated, as if she was running away from something, or so you sensed, there was too much interference. “You have to… Help me! Wolves… Monsters…! Call the… Lice!”
“Cosa? I don't understand you, are you okay?” you asked with a frown, that stupid girl seemed to be in danger.
“No…! No…! Mother Miranda!”
After those screams, the call was interrupted, leaving you disoriented. Seeing you like that, Donna approached, taking the phone from your hand and hanging it slowly, as if somehow those screams hadn't surprised her.
“It seems that there are some connection problems,” Angie mocked, laughing, but stopping when the lady suddenly looked at her, as if she had said something she shouldn't. “Oops…”
“I think she wanted me to call the police… Who is Mother Miranda?” you asked confused, with your heart racing.
“She’s the leader of this village,” Donna murmured, with a somber voice. “But don't worry, she won't hurt you, I won't allow it.”
“Hurt? Um, hey, Donna, I think, I think Irina was in trouble,” you said nervously, focused on finding out what had happened.
“You'll be in trouble if you go out at night, silly! You have to stay here!” Angie yelled at you, pointing comically at the floor.
“Oh, no, no, I don't want to disturb you,” you said with a trembling voice.
Your intuition wasn't wrong at all, but... In that house, you didn't seem to be in danger.
“You're not disturbing me, I like your company,” Donna said, with her hands in front of her body, with an elegant posture, unfazed by what seemed to be the death of the bus girl. “Do you want...? Do you want to cook something for dinner?”
“Oh, um, yes, dinner... Um...” you said confused, nodding without really knowing why. “Va...Va bene...”
As if you had forgotten what had happened, as if that call hadn't taken place, you went down to that dark basement with the lady in black and started cooking. It was a fun, entertaining time.
You both shared your own recipes, your special ways of doing things. Your mind had forgotten about going home, it had forgotten where you wanted to go, why you wanted to leave. The only thing you knew was that you wanted to stay with that dark Italian Lady. You wanted to talk to her, laugh with her.
Yes, you started to believe in love at first sight, you had no doubt that it existed, you were experiencing it.
Day and night began to dance before your eyes, the sun and the moon. How long had you been there? You didn't know. Had it been days, weeks, months? You weren't sure.
Cooking, reading, watching those movies… Any excuse was good enough to forget about your problems, to forget you had a place to go back to.
 Maybe darkness had invaded you but… You had become addicted to her, to Donna Beneviento, to that strange woman and her doll, to her voice, her words, her laughter… To the lavender of her perfume…
“Sale,” Donna said, extending her hand so you could give her the jar she needed while, like so many days, like so many times, you cooked with her.
A curious routine, cooking, cleaning, sewing… Something that your own conscience used as payment for being a guest who didn't pay for her stay but… Were you really a guest? What were you?
“I've never seen anyone making pasta,” you said curiously, leaning your elbow on the counter. Donna laughed amused, shaking her head. “Well, my grandmother usually…”
“You say I'm like your grandmother?” she joked, kneading calmly.
“No, not at all,” you said, amused, looking hypnotically at that curious dough. “I buy it ready-made, it's easier and faster that way.”
“Chi va piano…”
“Va lontano…” you finished, smiling again, with that damn blush on your cheeks. “It's true, you're right, Donna.”
She glanced at you briefly, giving you another of her beautiful laughs. You were so dazed that nothing mattered anymore, only waking up in that guest room again, only going downstairs to share moments with her, only her, only Donna mattered to you.
“Wait, let me help you,” you said, picking up one of the flour sacks and putting it on the counter with a loud thud, raising a thick cloud of white dust. “Cazzo! Oh, I'm sorry, I'm sorry!”
The lady coughed, brushing the flour away with her hand, clearing her vision. It could be a comedian or a dangerous one, you didn't quite know. Her little apron was unable to stop all the flour, which landed on Lady Beneviento, including her veil.
“Tutto bene?” you asked timidly, brushing the dust out of your hair.
“Sì,” the woman in black murmured, accidentally removing her veil, shaking it in front of your wide-open eyes.
When she realized the mistake she had made, the mistake of showing you her face, she gasped nervously, shaking her head.
You stood petrified, admiring every inch of her beauty, a hidden one, one that you only sensed and you had just confirmed. No, a stupid scar couldn't be that important, it wasn't capable of hiding anything, of overcoming her beauty.
“Non… Non…” she whispered, turning around and covering her face with her hands. “Non guardami!”
“Donna, wait, wait…” you said nervously, putting a hand on her shoulder. “Don’t, don't cover yourself, You are… Sei bellisima…”
“No, no, no…” she repeated, nervously, pushing away your comforting hand. “Sei una bugiarda!”
“I'm not lying, Donna, really, I…” you said, trying to reason with those incipient sobs, with the trembling of her body.
“Now you'll want to leave… You'll make me hurt you!” she shrieked, completely out of control. You shook your head, ignoring that dangerous last sentence.
“Shh,” you whispered softly, turning her around, taking advantage of a slight moment of weakness. “I won't leave, I like being here.”
“No… Non é vero…” she said, moving away from your gaze.
You snatched the veil from her so she couldn't put it back on and, without thinking, you launched yourself at her lips, kissing them fiercely, just as you had wanted to do for a long time, you didn't know how long.
“Donna…” you sighed when you pulled away from the kiss, a messy kiss that she had a hard time joining.
Finally she did, caressing your cheeks, mouth agape by that sudden reaction, one that she was apparently also waiting for.
“You have come into my life like a savior, like a light that has passed through the darkness…” she whispered, kissing you again, losing that fear, that cowardice, the fear of being discovered, of you seeing her wounded face.
What Lady Beneviento didn’t expect, is that you would feel something for her.
“Per favore…Non partire…Rimani con me…Per sempre…” she murmured while your lips caressed each other, while the warmth of that unexpected love slowly passed through your body, until it reached your heart.
“Per sempre…”
44 notes · View notes
rockermybuddie · 2 days
Text
Misunderstanding
Tumblr media
Tommy x Evan “Buck”
A/n: i write a lot of Tommy and Buck. Imma write something different. Eventually.
Summary: Its Bucks off day and he decided he was going to bake some cookies and bring them to Tommy at work. When he arrives he spots Tommy talking to someone hes never seen before. Hes about to walk over to his boyfriend when the man kisses Tommy. Buck stops and turns around walking away before seeing or hearing Tommys reaction.
————
~Bucks POV~
I feel Tommys lips on mine as he gives me a goodbye kiss. “See you later.” He whispers. I hear the bedroom door click shut and drift back into sleeping.
When i woke up i made me some oatmeal and watched an episode of The Bachelor. When i was done i was bored. Eddie went down to Texas to vist with Christopher. I’m glad the two are making mends, i know it hurt Eddie when Chris left to live with his grandparents in Texas.
Maddie and Chim are taking a short trip to Long Beach. And Hen and Karin are dealing with the foster people to get Nia. So im out of options when it comes to hanging out with someone.
I decided im going to bake some cookies for Tommy and his station, so i get to work. I’m going to make a variety and an allergy free batch.
Once i finished i put the cookies in some boxes and loaded them into my jeep. I didnt text Tommy that i was coming because i want it to be a surprise.
When i arrived i parked my jeep and grabbed the boxes of cookies with a big smile on my face. I walked into the station and scanned the area looking for Tommy.
“Looking for Tommy?” Someone asks. “Yes.” I answer. Everyone here knows who i am. “Hes upstairs in the kitchen.” The person says. “Thanks.” I smile and make my way up the stairs.
When i get to the top i turn the corner and see Tommy talking to someone i’ve never seen before. Hes tall and skinny but well built, he has short curly blonde hair. I cant tell what color his eyes are but the way he is looking at Tommy is making me uneasy and hes standing really close to Tommy. Tommy is leaning against the counter just keeping conversation.
I was about to say his name when the guy leans forwards giving Tommy a kiss. That was all i needed to see even though thats not what i wanted to see. My heart instantly sank and i turned away and got out of there as fast as i could.
I threw the boxes of cookies in the trunk not caring if they spilled out and drove out of there as fast as I could.
I drove to my apartment because i obviously didnt want to go back to Tommys bouse where i’ve been staying at most of the time anyways.
When i walked in it was kind of cold but it didn’t bother me because i was flamming with anger. I cant believe Tommy kissed another guy. I tried not to cry but it was too hard to hold back. I really thought he was the one, that he wouldnt cheat on me. I guess i was wrong.
——-
~Tommys POV~
Everything was going fine at work, had a few easy calls. We got a new person his name is Kaleb Green, great young kid. Hes been doing really good.
We were in the kitchen just talking about why we wanted to become a firefighter and the craziest calls we have ever been on.
“So is your locker the one with the gay pride flag on it?” He asks me. “Yes?” I answer carefully. I dont think this kid is a homophobe or anything but im alway cautious when it comes to telling people. I have no shame in being a gay man but having such a masculine job some people may see me differently.
“Thats so cool. Another gay firefighter. I’ve never met another one. I dont feel so alone now.” He says. “Oh, well actually…” i was going to tell him about Evan but before i could finish my sentence he leaned forward and kissed me. I definitely was not expecting that.
“Dude! What the hell?!” I shout shoving him off of me. “Sorry. Too far?” He stupidly asks. “Yes way too far! Plus i have a boyfriend. He happens to be a firefighter too.” I snap. “Please dont report me. I really like it here” he begs. “Too late.” I tell him walking out of the kitchen.
I walk downstairs to report him when i see a familiar grey jeep leaving the parking lot pretty fast. I hope that wasnt Evan.
“Hey Kinard, what did Evan bring you?” Steven asks from a far. “Shit” i say under my breath that was Evan and he probably saw what happened in the kitchen because i never saw him.
I was about to ask if i could handle this when a call came through. I had to push down my anger and my worries about what just happened and focus on the call. God i hope its a simple call so it goes by fast.
It was not. It was a warehouse fire and the warehouse contained toxic chemicals so everything we did had to be done carefully and correctly. It took the rest of the shift.
We finally got back to the station at 11pm. I grabbed my bag and headed straight for my truck. “Hey Kinard.” I hear Kaleb call out behind me. “Dont talk to me. You most likely just ended my relationship with Evan and he was the best thing thats ever came into my life.” I snap at him. Which I probably said too much, based off his facial expressions, but i need to talk to Evan tell him what happened and pray that he believes me. “Let me talk to him, then i’ll ask for a new placement.” Kaleb says, “let me fix this.” He adds. “No you are not talking to him and yes find a new placement. Its not going to work for you here.” I tell him throwing my bag in the truck and drove home.
——
When i arrive home i dont see Evans jeep which means hes not here. I dont know why i thought he would be at my house after all. I mean yeah hes been staying here most of his time anyways but this would be the last place he would come after seeing another guy kiss me.
I try calling him and texting him but hes not answering, rightfully so. I drive over to his apartment next. I see his jeep parked in its usual spot so i know hes here.
I knock on his door immediately when i arrive. No response. “Evan its me. Please can we talk?” I ask through the door loud enough he should be able to here me. After a few more moments of knocking and asking nicely I threaten to do a welfare check and kick down his door.
I then heard the sound of locks unlocking and the door opened to a cold apartment and a tall Evan with a tear stained face and a angry blank expression.
“Evan please listen, i didnt kiss him. He kissed me.”i say, this is a lot more nerve racking than i thought. Its so hard not to stutter and to hse the right wording. “I saw you Tommy.” Evans voice cracks, he walks to the other end of the table while im at the other. Hes so close but het so far.
“Evan i would never cheat on you. Please believe me. We were talking and he asked if my locker was the one with the gay pride flag. Next thing i felt his lips on mine and i pushed him away. I swear.” I tell him the whole story but i cant tell if he believes me or not.
How do you convince your partner that you aren’t cheating on them when they saw another guy kiss you? I feel like im losing him and i really dont want to.
——-
~Bucks POV~
I listen to what Tommy is telling me and my brain is telling me not to believe him but my heart is telling me that hes telling the truth. Because Tommy is the first person to ever so me the type of personal affection, how it feels to be loved. Even though we haven’t said it yet we can feel it when we cuddle, when we get intimate, and when we say the same thing at the same time.
But in this case what do i go with my brain or my heart? Part of me wants to just believe him and go back to how things were but the other half wants to kick him out of my apartment and never talk to him again.
“Evan everyone in this situation had a misunderstanding.” Tommy says. “How am I misunderstanding this Tommy?” I ask in anger. “Okay, okah, im sorry. Wrong words here. Kaleb had a misunderstanding with what i said and he didnt let me finish talking before he kissed me. I was literally about to tell him about you when he kissed me.” Tommy explains.
“Thats what they all say.” I mumble under my breath. “Say what?” Tommy asks. “That the other person kissed them.” I answer. “Evan….” Tommy says, he can tell hes losing me.
It was quiet for a few moments as each of us trys to think of something. “I’ll come get my stuff tomorrow.” I say finally breaking the silence. “W-w-w-what?” Tommy stutters. “I said i’ll come get my stuff from your house tomorrow. While your at work so we dont see each other.” I repeat. Evans face goes into panic mode as he runs a frantic hand through his rough hair.
“Evan please. Im telling the truth. Listen Kaleb said he will talk to you. He’ll tell you everything i just said is true.” Tommy says all in one breath trying to convince me. “Please leave Tommy.” I ask. I’ve been hurt by too many people that are supposed to love me to try again and risk getting hurt again and again and again.
“Evan, baby please.” Tommy begs. “Stop. Get out Tommy. Get out before i call the police.” I command. Tommy rubs his chin with his hand as he turns to the door. He looks back at me one more time before he forces himself out the door.
Now im all alone, again. I should just stay single the rest of my life clearly everyone is going to hurt me when i get close to them.
——
The next day i wait intil i know Tommy is going to be at work so i can go get my clothes from over there.
When i arrive i dont see his truck which means he went to work today. I walk up to the door and i go to type in the code to unlock the door when the door opens. I look up and see the guy from yesterday. Kaleb.
I wanted to punch the guy so bad. He messed up the one good thing i had in my life. “Evan, right?” He asks. “So you’re Tommys new side piece huh?” I snarl. “Please let me explain myself. I never ment for any of this to happen. Can we just talk?” He asks stepping aside for me to come in. I roll my eyes and walk into the house.
I took a seat at the island in the kitchen as I listened to Kaleb talk. He basically said that it was his fault that he made the move and he ruined his chance at the firehouse. He said that he’s been transferred to a new one.
“So do you believe Tommy now? That he wouldn’t cheat on you?” Kaleb asks. “He was going to come tell you instantly but we got a call. You know how it is.” “Yeah.” Is all i say. “Well i have to get going. I really hope you can forgive Tommy. He really loves you.” Kaleb says as he lets himself out.
I sat at the kitchen island with my head in my hands thinking about what to do when i saw Tommy standing in the entrance of the kitchen leaning against the wall frame.
His body language was soft and his face was filled with regret. Hearing both sides of the story and that basically Tommy was telling the truth made it a little easier to go with my heart. But still knowing another guy kissed him hurts a little.
——
~Tomms POV~
I stood there and watched Evan as he proceeded what Kaleb told him. I can’t believe i caved and let Kaleb talk to Evan but its the only thing I could think of that could save mine and Evans relationship.
“So its true.” Evan finally says. “Yes.” I say. “A lot of people hurt me in the last Tommy.” He says. “I know. I never wanted to be one of them.” I try to control my voice to keep it steady.
“I know.” Evan says, “it still hurts that another guy kissed you.” He says. “It wont happen again. I swear to you Evan.” I promise him. “I know.” He says, a small smile spread across my face.
I walk towards him keeping an eye on his body language. “So do you forgive me?” I ask when im standing in front of him. I feel like im shaking as i wait for an answer. “Yes.” Evan tilts his head up and makes eye contact with me.
A smile spread my face as i lifted his chin up with my finger and connected my lips to his. God it felt so good to feel his lips against mine again. “What were you bringing me yesterday?” I ask out of curiosity. “Cookies. They are spilled in the back of my jeep.” He answers. “You taste better than cookies.” I say shrugging my shoulders. He smiles at that.
“I missed you so much.” I say against his lips resting my forehead against his. “I missed you too.” He says. I cradle the back of his head with my hand as i take his mouth back into mine.
I have him back and im never letting him go again.
——-
A/n: I hope you enjoyed the story!
21 notes · View notes
tsukasalover · 3 days
Text
I can think of a lot of reasons why I like and have gotten attached to tsukasa more than any other fictional character and i think if i had to keep it simple (or else id be rambling for hours) id say
1. He’s so interesting. I usually pick up the extremely mischaracterized blonde characters anyways but he gets my brain working real hard. its almost 2am and i cant think straight but theres something about his duality that keeps me glued to him and the amount of Layers he has and how removing even one layer or completely ignoring how both his huge ego and kindness + selflessness coexist can really mess up your perception of him. There was something quite short i wrote about how both sides make him. Well. Him. back when his colofes dropped since i was so annoyed at the people Not getting it (while most never even read the STORIES 😁) anf ive been screaming this for a year now Please. Also the way his dream and being a good big brother go hand in hand have captured me. I really like fictional siblings and they fill something personal i miss and Looove looking at the roots of characters. Discovering where this and that and connecting events to what started their behaviors or helped their personality bloom. So seeing saki and toya play such an important role in his life keeps me HOOOKEDDD. I took the bait like tiny fish. Dont regret it. Never will. I like my fictional characters like layered cake. Thats basically how i see them. I had a yummy chocolate cake with so mant layers the other day 🤤 but anyways. I also really like when characters have to learn and grow as people after making really bad mistakes or being straight up assholes so it really took a while even after mainstory but once i got to see more of him with saki and read dazzling i was like. This is the guyyy. Youre mine now lets go. I dont like perfect characters but.. you see.. when characters who have (sometimes way too much) confidence and are dramatic yet are shown to truly be good people who enjoy making others happy… alright.. now im listening… Sign me up…
But really he has almost everything I’ve ever looked for in a character. Starting with the fact that he’s a theatre kid. And blonde. Of course emu nene and rui + more fictional characters have made their way into my heart and ive gotten attached to them on very Very personal levels but when it comes to this Idiot who wants to be a star and reminds me of a dog its something that i dont even know how to explain sometimes. Why is he here? What are you doing inside of my head. Ill never have one solid answer because he takes up too much space in my mind and i become incoherent too often when talking about him.
2. Ignoring my first answer, He is ugly. My favorite punching bag. Cartoon character. Begins floating when he smells pie. I dont know anymore
3. he just like me fr (Which is terrible i dont like that)
21 notes · View notes
moeblob · 6 months
Text
Tumblr media
Deacon loves two things: Ymber and digging himself a grave.
Fulj hates one thing: Deacon.
#my characters#waiting on some info on the next commission so i indulged in ocs today bc i doubt i will have as much time for lil comics for a bit#deacon is so devoted hes like yeah i would kill for a deity that could easily kill anything himself but yknow teehee#and fulj just did you tell him you needed therapy also does he even know youd murder in his name#deacon caught red handed haha no of course i havent told him it should be obvious enough haha.... and its in his defense not his name :c#man really does have some issues but i love him so much and hes so devoted but like. unhealthily after a while#he does in fact need a chill pill and therapy but to be fair#ymber has needed therapy for centuries and yet he just bottles it all up and suffers so#its pretty unhealthy until they yell at each other one (1) time bc they are so insecure about things and get mad over very valid reasons#but then theyre like you know what that was necessary and i still want to stay by your side if you let me#and then fulj is like dude hey sorry you seem really happy did you fu- and ymber is like no please stop there we have not#fulj just squinting cause have not is very different than will not but whatever she doesnt wanna think about that with deacon involved ew#and eventually fulj is like hey ymber im sorry to say but i really do hate deacon and i dont even know why but he makes me uncomfortable#while deacon is just. in the room. hearing this and thinking how he knows she thinks hes weird but wow that wording hurts#and ymber doesnt wanna fill in memories better forgotten by fulj which she had forcefully removed#so he just says oh well his hair and clothing are black and you had someone in the past that you might see in him and its not a pleasant en#so you know maybe its that idk#and fulj is then WHATST i was rude to him for someone i cant even remember? lame im gonna try SO HARD to be nice to him now#and deacon just still sitting there with some food like this is v awkward and i wish i could not be here for it#and later he asks ymber about who he resembled and as ymber is descibing her it clicks in deacons head and he gets really sad#that he might somehow remind fulj of the woman she loved before she was punished for loving a mortal#and he feels kinda bad pestering her so much with his curiosities about deities and he kinda gets it#the fact hes close to ymber might remind her at the core that she was once that close with a mortal if not closer#anyway story time in the tags again#im so obsessed with these peeps and i have made them suffer so much but they do all end on a happy note#its still funny and nice to me that while fulj is creeped out by deacon and doesnt like talking to him#he still expresses the most emotions to her - he tries hard to remain serious around ymber and collected and obedient at all times#and when out and about with ymber he has to be intimidating and refuses smiling but fulj?? all sunshine and smiles and emotions easy to rea#and she is just that is so weird go away i hate you
25 notes · View notes
saintlioncourt · 30 days
Text
watched Logan (2017) for the first time after watching every single x-men/wolverine movie this week and lemme tell you-
I am NOT okay. what the FUCK
8 notes · View notes
hella1975 · 1 month
Note
why do you write? what do you think about, what drives you?
passion love grief rage spite confusion loneliness community shame boredom perfectionism fun because i dont know how to stop
11 notes · View notes
jils-things · 9 months
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
i went wandering off in my pokespe gallery and had to relieve how wonderful this scene played out. no kidding
please dont read the tags i got emotional there /lh
#the.plot felt a bit confusing to me admittedly but oras did so well in trying to make franticshipping incredibly satisfactory since#at the end of rs we couldn't really tell if they settled with each others feelings yet (APPARENTLY NOT BECAUSE THEY'RE PRIDEFUL AND DUMB/JJ)#but at least sapphire still had some thoughts about it but i was kinda mad WHY DIDNT RUBY GIVE HIS HALF OF THE FEELINGS PROPERLY!!!#WELL THIS HAPPENED WHERE HE OPENLY CONFESSES ABOUT HOW MUCH HE CARES ABOUT HER AND THE WHOLE WORLD CELEBRATED#in r/s they were constantly separated from each other by WILL BECAUSE they despise each other so much#in oras - after confessing - it literally ACHES for ruby to not see her like take a fucking shot everytime he says wheres sapphire????#THEY WERE ALWAYS AWAY FROL EACH OTHER HERE AND HE FEELS SO GUILTY FOR EVERY TIME SAPPHIRE GETS HARMED#FOR EXAMPLE; FIGHTING WITH ZINNIA AND FALLING OFF THE ROCKET - LOSING HER VOICE - RUBY HOLDING THE SECRET FROM SAPPHIRE BY PROMISING STEVEN#LITERALLY EVERUTHING SHE DOES MAKES HIM FEEL ALL THE MORE GUILTY AND HE CANT EVEN TELL HER STRAIGHT HES SORRY BECAUSE THEY'RE LITERALLY#FUCKING AWAY FROM EACH OTHRHADHDHRHSBRBDBSHSHSHE#AND WHEN THEY FINALLU MEET UP VIA TROPIUS AND RAYQUAZA SHE TELLS HIM TO SHUT UP AND HOLD HIS EMOTIONS FOR NOW. THAT'S HOW DESPERATE HE WAS#TO SEE EHR AGAIN AHAHAHAHTDTHHGG IM SO INSANEEE#AND AT THIS MOMENT HE ALMOST EMOTIONALLY CONFESSES WITH TEARS HE DOESNT WANT TO LEAVE HER AGAIN BECAUSE WORST COMES TO WORST HE'LL NEVER SEE#HER IF HE TRIES TO SAVE THE WORLD BY HIMSELF FROM THE METEORRRRRR AKAAJAHAAJ#AND THATS WHY HE INVITES HER TO SAVE THE WORLD TOGETHER AS CORNY AS IT SOUNDS BUT ITS BECAUSE IF HE'LL DIE HE WANTS TO DIE WITH HER AAAHSGDV#AND SAPPHIRE'S REACTION WAS FAINTING WHICH TBH WAS A COMEDIC MOMENT FOR SUCH AN IMPACTFUL DIALOG FROM HIM BUT AJDHSJHDS MAKES ME HAPPY#y'all don't even get me started how this plays out when stevaide is in here DON'T EVEN#~ rambling#i just woke up and i chose violence (franticshipping)#pokespe hours
24 notes · View notes
lesbiangiratina · 1 year
Text
Not very fond of people like waving off testament’s gender as just a Gear Thing but well at least it becomes funny when people apply it to gears as a whole. Like yeah i can agree with that. It has nothing to do with being a gear tho theyre all just transgender
#okay ill talk about it seriously down here#it does feel like the original intent behind their androgyny was to kind of Other them from humanity#daisuke saying theyve transcended humanity / talking about their ‘inhuman beauty’#i dont want to call it dehumanizing since theres like. a weird positive (…i guess) angle of them being ‘above’ humanity#thats just kind of a trope though. like nonhuman characters without a human concept of gender or sexuality. yknow#but anyway strive didnt really go back on this. they kinda made it a part of their arc?#i think dev backyard says that theyve ‘lived without the concept of gender’ since being turned into a gear#but theres no disconnect from humanity that goes along with that anymore#i like the implication that reconciling with humanity and more importantly their OWN humanity coincided with their presumable transition!#alright now for the part of this i dont like. its weird to assume the gear conversion had some effect on their body and THATS why theyre nb#i think any implications of that are vague enough to be dismissed#i wouldnt even call them Implications its like. messy (and contradictory!) early 2000s phrasing and a theory about 1 line of dialogue lol#early fandom stuff im aware of but dont know enough to talk about aside. nowadays its just used to like#excuse their androgyny. by gamers who cant just. believe that theyre nonbinary because they want to be. lol#not because of anything that was done to their body against their will. or even more simply because theyre just a gear and are Above gender#literally theyre just nonbinary. isnt that cool. i wish everyone could agree this is cool and end the discussion there.#except for me. i can discuss it all i want forever. because im the understander.#whatever. at least the section of testament’s wiki page theorizing about their genitalia is gone now. kissaroo for whoever took that off.#I NEED TO WRITE UP THAT TIMELINE IM LITERALLY NOT KIDDING WHEN I SAY IM AUTISTIC ABOUT TESTAMENT’S GENDER. CLEARLY#the kat goes meow#gg
23 notes · View notes
spacedlexi · 10 months
Text
i Need to draw more clemviminnie shit but how am i supposed to do that when minnie only exists alongside them for 2 episodes then dies
Tumblr media
#its why i alive her for some post s4 stuff just so i have more to work with 😔#but i dont Love doing that....she sealed her fate..she was lost in the sauce...#but theres so much there..............#the way minnie was concerned for vi while betrayed!vi and clem were fighting in the cell she def still had feelings...#they still wouldve been dating if she was never taken like......#ITS SO MESSY I LOVE IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#like while i Do think there was some tension in their relationship somewhere bc that line in the woods didnt come from nowhere#no matter how changed she was by the delta that sentiment had to come from somewhere. maybe she could just never say it#but idk if they wouldve broken up over it and there was no reason for violets feelings to change either. she just grieved her 'death'#vi says the real minnie is gone and that she'll do what she has to to keep everyone else safe but like....#theres no way shes not still conflicted on some level like you can see it on the boat she cant leave her. esp since she kinda blames hersel#minnie being clems dark reflection but clem is minnies reflection just as much (obvs) the tension is palpable between them#clem being the part of herself that she killed when she killed sophie...the symbolism of killing your own twin...#and how much does clem remind her of sophie too like whos clem Really mirroring here#THERES SO MUCH MEAT THAT IM CHEWING ON THIS IS A GRAND MEAL#and i cant fucking do anything about it 😭 seriously how do i work within these constraints#there isnt even a 2 week jump like there is in ep2 theres no unaccounted for time in eps 3 and 4 ITS KILLING ME#i bet in a betrayed!vi route minnie was glad to see her when they made it to the boat. and vi feeling betrayed by clem was a perfect target#totally susceptible. minnie gets in her head that its safer to give in instead of fighting back... and now theyre together again...#vi betrayed by clem falling right back into minnies arms OOF girl get away she is Fucked Up..theyre both fucked up 😭 clem u broke her#betrayed!vis reaction to hearing minnies confession about sophie..girl must have been so emotionally fucked in that cell#mmm toxic yuri mmmmm :)#god clemvi really has it all..............................................#why would i need anything else...when clemvi is here#twdg#it speaks#still cant believe my fave girlie really got it all :)
18 notes · View notes
bunnihearted · 2 months
Text
🍄‍🟫
#bc like.... :(((#when i 'confessed my feelings' (ew cringe 🤢🤮) the response wasnt a rejection#nor did i get to know anything abt his feelings. and it mostly just sounded like#it was bad timing not .. anything else which i dont know was the case bc .. no communication :((((#and then im like waiting and unable to bring it up bc then it's only met with more withdrawing (dont know words i dont care anymore)#so i was scared to mention anything.... but since i thought abt what he had said before and what i had said (ily i wanna work it out)#i genuinely thought i was just being patient. not that i was being played a fool 💀#so.. yeah thats why it hurts even more bc like now suddenly.. not even in a private convo bc i dont deserve that mercy or respect apparentl#i was slapped in the face out of nowhere with the fact that no i was not waiting i was being discarded#and all i dreamed of and thought and wanted and missed#was just all me. i was over here wanting to do everything and anything to make it real#all the while i wasnt even being thought of or was important or mattered#bc for me that was everything i've wanted and i genuinely understand why no one would ever want me i genuinely truly understand#but it wasnt just me like making up shit bc i went off of words and interactions etc etc#and like those two months were everything to me and i think abt it all the time and i miss it#but that was only important to me#and that is so so so fucking humiliating#to be told and not only think that it wasnt just me#but then ... like i dont know bc everyone tells u that you're just paranoid bc of your disorders#but its actually true. i cant trust anyone. u cant believe words. u cant believe anything anyone says#bc they can tell u you're like 'the only one -------' (i dont have to say everything but like that sentiment)#and then it's not actually true..... why does life suck so bad like#????? wtf im really not eqquiped for this world#bc im honest and genuine and earnest and i want to talk and communicate and try to understand and try to work things out#but nobody else does.. and this one is on me but it was also based on words said and not my imagination#i really thought this was different.... that he wasnt like this but yeah.......#is it that fkn weird that i never ever believe when anyone says they care abt me? bc nobody does and everyone ends up hurting me :p
4 notes · View notes
arlathen · 1 year
Text
i keep trying to want to play starfield but the main plot has so profoundly failed to convince me to buy into it. and im not a guy who needs a lot of convincing.
9 notes · View notes
widevibratobitch · 5 months
Text
.
#im so tired of this lalalalalalalalaa#something is Wrong lol#i really need this therapy on wednesday but guess WHAT im not going. im going to a funeral instead 🤡#and ill be singing in that stupid fucking church because have to but i dont fucking wanna i hate doing it and i hate churches#all i feel rn is the overwhelming urge to selfdestruct and like obv im not gonna kms now#but im so fucking angry that im not even *allowed* to do that anymore. like it was such a comfort all this time to know that i can just Quit#and now i cant because guess what someone has to take care of my mother 🫠 and im so fucking tired of being someone people depend on#to handle THEIR feelings and THEIR emotions and just take it all with humility and acceptance and kindness and never snap and bite back#like i dont WANNA hear about your dead husband i dont wanna hear about your stupid fucking boyfriend#i dont wanna hear about the new guy/girl who's hitting on you because you're so hot and perfect#i dont wanna be responsible for how people feel. i should just shut up and take it and be humble and never ask or expect anything back#but when is it MY turn to call at 1 am crying about how im tired and want to kms#or to start expecting shit of people and allow myself to get properly angry at them for not meeting those expectations#or to braggingly 'complain' about something the other person clearly lacks without any consideration for their feelings#or to just openly cry and say deeply personal shit without any filter not caring if that other person is clearly uncomfortable af#because *i* need it right now and i need someone to listen and let them worry about how to even respond to that stuff#im just so tired of people expecting shit of me im tired of being made responsible even tho i clearly cannot handle that responsibility#i wanna be mean i wanna snap and get angry and openly say that i dont give a shit and am tired and cant listen to this rn#but i cant because i have to be a motherfucking mother theresa and never dare to demand something for myself#and idk where that comes from. idk if it's coming from the fanatic catholicism of my childhood or my mother or just from myself and idc#i just feel so horrible and guilty and wrong for wanting anything for myself#and it once again feels like im making myself the victim and the tortured martyr here when i should just shut up and take it#i just wanna lie down and die and not care about who'll get angry or judge or blame me for it im tired and i dont know what to do#i want someone to take care of ME and reassure ME and make ME feel like i matter and that they really will help me if i ever need it#and that they'd be kinda sad if i were gone not because i had a role to fulfill that i failed at by killing myself but because i am a person#<- math calculations flying around my head as i come to the terrible realisation#of just why exactly im so deeply obsessed with my voice teacher (aside from her being literally the most beautiful woman alive lol) 🤡#like babygirl stop being so utterly overwhelmingly kind to me my knees are weak i would do anything for you queen and I MEAN IT
2 notes · View notes
rox-of-iu · 1 year
Text
book depository closing down. no nice things allowed.
Tumblr media
#i cannot express enough just how much this upsets me#that was the only way for me to get books at affordable price thanks to the free shipping#because the prices here on overseas and indie books are pretty jacked up and the shipping from other websites is also very painful#so no winning#and we're not even mentioning that some books you just cant get here anyway#man im so sad actually heartbroken#they also delivered super fast the catalogue is expansive and the website overall was nice#man im glad i had the chance to pre-order my s/vsss special edition because without book depository i wouldnt had the chance at all#again. no way to get it here and the shipping from other website would make it very unreasonable monetary decision#with how our currency is holding up against others#oh well#guess ill just order t/housand autumns while i still have the chance :(#and light a candle for it#also fpr context i briefly looked why theyre closing and apparently they were bought by amazon in 2011 and now they are making cuts#so bd took the hit#edit. scrolled through the bd tag and seeing other non US/UK ppl heartbroken over it really hits o(-(#saying theyll order a lot now because they most likely wont order books online after that because the shipping just is so much pain#and yea that really do be it huh. man...#like ok i know theres maybe some other website out there that could work out well enough#but this was THE place#good prices and guarantee of quality with how big and long standing it was
8 notes · View notes
burnthybread · 3 months
Text
do ye ever reflect on how stupid you were for people. i made you spicy honey fried halloumi bites for lunch and you couldnt acknowledge me after my friend passed
#sorry. friends are gone on girls trip w/o me and they havent texted so now im emosh#i hand made one of them a scroll because she was the first of us to do their leaving#and ye cant text 😭😭#I GAVE ONE OF THEM MY HAND MADE POTTERY WAX MELT CANDLE HOLDER#THAT WAS IN THE SHAPE OF ROLLING HILLS AND HAD A LITTLE HAND MADE COW AND A WATER POND TO PUT THE WAX IN 😭😭#AND THESE GIRLLLLLSSSSSSSS…….#ditch me on my 18th and call me unlovable and incapable of love to my face 😦#ugh. ughhh#but i loooove doing th#I BOUGHT ONE OF THEM A TEA POT AND FILLED IT WITH THINGS THEYD LOVE THE OFFICE STYLE#i loove doing things for people. like i just really like it#making people special gifts or pieces or food or whstever#but sometimes i get sad when i reflect and see its never even reciprocated even in like… passing#i dont at all expect lengths but like. i can cry in front of them and they will just ignore me and slag me off#and they all talk about the trip in fromt of me like in groups where im the only one not going so im just ther elike. ok#And itd be different if it was a discussion i could join in on#but like. thats such a faux pas#i even did it for another girl once#me lauren lara vreanna iso were chatting about a trip and ailbhe was there too so i whispered to lauren just hey maybe not now since ailbhe#is here#and she was like omg yes course#so its not like theyre unfamiliar w the concept#why do i do so much for people :/#again i dont rhink its I Expect Something Back Please i think its just. dont be mean to me please#w/e w/e!!!!#im talking#i say this but i know im gonna end up making too much garlic butter and give it to molly LMAO
0 notes
shownusfool · 3 months
Text
parents overstepping boundaries!! we love to see it!! im gonna cry!! im so frustrated!! im so mad!! i don’t want to do this anymore!!!!!!!!!!!!
#my mom called a functional medicine place and made an appointment for me#whats funny is that she told me about this place on monday#got made at me for not calling them and making an appointment on wednesday#and has never even shared their phone number or website with me!#and today i was like oh ive got to call them mom can you give me their phone number#and two hours later she talks to me an apologetic mess saying that shes sorry but she just had to call them and that#she made an appointment for me without me asking and shes asking if i can take off work on monday so i can go to this office#that i dont even know where it is#bc she never sent me the address!!!#and i was like no. im not going why would you make an appointment for me. i cant even attend that#not even because i have work but because i have client visits scheduled and i have things to do#and shes like oh just call them and reschedule call them and reschedule and im just pissed off im pissed off im so frustrated#always on my case about my freaking physical health but never once stopping to think about my feelings#and i know she felt guilty bc she ignored me!!!!#and shes like im sorry i overstepped and i dont even wanna accept that bc you knew it was wrong the entire time and still!!!!!! did it!!!!!#like you could have just called them to talk about them and then go okay thank you#and then call or answer me and go hey daughter this place is legit here is their phone number like u asked here is their website#like you asked#and now call them and make an appointment#ITS THAT EASY#TO BE CONSIDERATE OF PEOPLES FEELINGS#BUT NOOOOOOO#GO AHEAD AND ACCUSE ME OF BEING A TERRIBLE#AFULT THAT DOESNT CARE ABOUT MYSELF THAT CANT MAKE APPOINTMENT THAT CANT DO SHIT#she was like i know you wouldnt have done it if i didnt ask and im like NO I WAS ABOUT TO DO IT I JUST DIDNT HAVE THE TOOLS TOO AND IT#CLEARLY WASNT ON THE TOP OF MY LIST FOR THINGS TO DO#im just upset IM UPSETTTTTTTTTTTTTTT LIKE REALLY THIS MAKES ME FEEL LIKE IM TERRIBLE
0 notes
bulldagger-bait · 4 months
Text
Will never forget being a kid and telling someone i was south african only to have them ask:
"Did you have clothes in africa?"
"Had you ever had a bath before coming to Australia?"
"Did you live in a house with walls and bricks?"
Like. Yeah, I guess we were 8... But also i feel like a lot of people's understanding of "Africa" has never really progressed past that point.
#its why i get so like... tetchy about generalisations regarding africa#like. its one thing if people are like. have you ever seen a lion in the wild. cos like. for aussies you do just see the wildlife loose#but some people 100% uncritically view africa as a backwater with everyone living in tribal societies#like we dont have skyscrapers too#like the poorest countries in the world have high rises and skyscrapers...#like yeah there is abject poverty too. and its poor person poverty not white person poverty. like poverty poverty#but that doesnt mean that the people arent.... human...?? yknow?#idk ive just dealt with a lot of very dehumanising attitudes#also im white so i had a very priveliged upbringing but when kids asked those questions i was IMMEDIATELY intimately aware that they saw me#as lesser#i wasnt a peer to them. i was beneath them. i probably hunted my own food and didnt know what a supermarket was#but yeah. being “from africa” brings interesting baggage i tell ya#lets just say that your parents playing the “kids starving in africa” card is *a lot* more effective#esp in my case bc my family was very poor in ZAR and food was always a bit of a touchy subject#when ur parents are skipping meals so you can eat and you have the misfortune of being a bit fussy... yeah...#yeah. you dont really get to have sensory issues with food. like my parents relented and let me skip peas and corn bc they would make me#have astronomical meltdowns. but like. other foods i had problems with too but they were 6/10 bad instead of 10/10 bad#so i just had to learn to eat them anyway and mask my emotional reactions.#im still trying to unlearn this. i still feel so guilty when i struggle with a texture and leave food on my plate.#and im still learning to be okay with having certain foods be like absolute no-go's without feeling foolish or childish about it#didnt even realise i had the coriander soap gene at first cos i am not unfamiliar with eating things even if my body says NOOO#anyway. long tangent. but the whole “you could be living in poverty right now” thing instead is... its like the parent nuke#i remember i got so offended once when my friend said that he hated being Australian and complained about what was bad with it#and like. he had points. Australias not perfect. but i have Immigrant Baggage and so complaining about Australia is also like...#idk like. i could be living in south africa. im pretty stoked to be here..#so my brain cant be normal about it. and im also paranoid about people thinking im a bad immigrant for having problems with Australia etc
1 note · View note