#and i cant even handle the thought of that

[harukyuu2]

hiii how are you? I hope you’re doing alright<33 So can you do a Nene Kusanagi!reader x Ivan, Till, and Luka hcs like I can imagine reader going behind characters back whenever there’s a stranger and someone they don’t know? and reader being shy towards people except character 😭🙏🏻

that’s all and ty take care!! ^^

୨♡୧ ▸ "A star that hides !!" - Ivan, Till and Luka x Shy!Reader

!! - Reader has the same personality as Kusanagi Nene, headcanons, Fluff, gn reader <3, tried to write Luka with more emotions like wiege(??, reader meet them as a child

༊*·˚Till ▸

☆ I think it was hard for you two to talk at first since Till isnt the most talkative one and with you being shy...he'd probably spy on you until you notice him!

☆ Once you two are close and you hide behind his back? Oh my god, he is exploding in all different emotions— feeling proud, embarassed, happy...

☆ If you dont want to talk, then he doesnt either. But he'd still do it for you— just dont expect a long conversation. Your Till isnt great with socializing either; he'd much rather the two of you avoiding people most of the time

☆ He finds solitary places for the two of you to stay and do whatever you prefer— even if, most of the time, you end up sleeping on his lap or playing a game your guardian gave you while he practices on his invisible guitar or composes a song

☆ Is quite amusing for him how youre not shy with him, so he encourages you to be like that on stage too! to try your best to win so you can stay on his back all you want

☆ At the end of the day, Till will try his best to keep you in a comfort zone. You two prefer to avoid Aliens and humans unless its necessary!

༊*·˚Ivan▸

☆ You wanna hide behind his back? Yeah, dont even ask, boy has been waiting for you to do it since ages— Its a dream of his since the first time he saw you

☆ Ivan talked and followed you everywhere as kids, until you just accepted him in your life! You picked his interest, now he forces himself in your space

☆ type of relationship: "This is reader, reader loves their personal space. This is Ivan, Ivan ALSO loves reader personal space!"

☆ No worries, he's got your back during conversations with other people. But sometimes, he'll drag you into them— partly to tease your shyness, partly because he wants you to overcome it. Being shy is a disadvantage on stage, and he doesnt like the idea of you losing

☆ Your personal translator for the Aliens when you dont feel like dealing with them. Just murmur to Ivan's ear that you dont feel comfortable talking and he will find a way out for you while handling the conversation

☆ Still, he doesnt like seeing you struggle with confidence since its a major risk for you— so he'll probably push you to overcome it with small training sessions and plenty of praise. Ivan loves patting your head!

༊*·˚Luka ▸

☆ You probably thought he hated you at first— the way he looked at you so directly as a child, with no emotion at all. Dont ask what kind of magic happened, but somehow, you made him laugh. And now, here you are, with a new friend— if you can call it that...

☆ No matter how silent the situation is between you two, Luka as a child stated youre his "favorite clone" and that you will stay on his side <3

☆ Hide behind his back? He finds it weird, but wouldnt refuse you to do it. If you wanna stay there, just do it! He may call you out on it but because he is confused by the action

☆ Still, he would take you to places where you have to be a little more confident since you have to learn and stop being stupid— you have to live even if it mean harsh words for you to get better at it

☆ Silent naps with you veeeeryyy far from the Aliens— even if it rarely happens and its not that far tbh, he enjoys it with his heart, more if the one sleeping is him and youre playing a videogame or composing

☆ If he could, he'd keep you in a jar— safe, always, and only for him! But since he cant, he does his best to keep you going, even if he's not sure how to praise or encourage you properly <3

[theyluvivi]

no chill by partynextdoor. sugarbaby!chris.

warnings.ᐟ.ᐟ: MEAN reader! slapping. masochist chris. dacryphilia. sub!chris. coming untouched. thas it.

"I— mso— sorry!" He cries out, tears trickling down his face. You slap him again, making the already red mark on his face even redder. "Don't lie to me."

He whines, hips bucking for any friction you'll give him while he attempts to grab at the sheets with the pink, fuzzy handcuffs you put on him. "P-promise! Promise! M' so sorry miss—"

You scoff. "I thought you could handle meeting my friends, but clearly, you can't if the first you do when you're of my sight is flirt with anyone with a pulse." You slap him once again. "Bet that girl from the club doesn't know you're a little bitch in bed, huh?" Chris looks downright, filthy right now. Glassy eyes and spit, dribbling down his chin. Cock twitching and leaking at your every word. How sinful.

"Wan... wanted your attention," Whimpering as he watches you raise your hand. "barely looked at me the whole night talking to your friends."

Your jaw clenches. "That's your excuse?" He gulps. "That's the reason you decided to be a slut in front of them? Was me taking you to Prada earlier, not enough for you?" He shakes his head fearfully. "Nonono— I—"

"Ungrateful, disobedient, little fucking—" Each word that files out your mouth is equal to another slap on the trembling man's face. "Brat. That's what you are, Chris." You roll your as you watch his hips shift upwards. "Cant even punish you. You get off on this shit."

He lets out a whine that turns into a gasp, spurts of cum shooting out of cock all over his stomach and the sheets as his eyes roll back.

He curls into himself, panting. "Ma— ma'am—"

"Are you serious?" You push him over, straddling him. "Did I say you could cum?"

"Imsorry— m' sorry—" He cries out. "M' so sorry it'll never happen again miss—" You tilt your head at the sight beneath you, "I-I'll be so good from now on— listen to everything you say—" He chokes on a sob, you carress the face you've been so harsh to.

"Learned that being stupid little slut doesn't get you anything?" You coo, "Mhm!" He nods with everything in him.

tags 𝜗𝜚⋆₊˚: @inspiredangel @whore4mattsturniolo @domizzzsstuff @sosasturns @drewswife @strnilolover

a/n: m literally gonna cum. my tip sticky.

[ssunspoiled]

((private)) ofcourse it matters of course you matter of course the fear matters its reasonable its tthe responsibleway to feel I dont ever mmeanto make your feelings seem less or iiinadequate its that iit isnt aa new threat or a new fear iit isnt less important just has been managed its been true long enough ,thought through,thought you realized thought you allready knew when you took the jump iin to them.It already has a door open in to anything with a network. Its allready there in them. Ithought you knew Ihavealways understood the threat its been a partof this place as long as I have.As longas I have been here And I Fought it And Ive seen it through the years. And I know him in a way I cannot even speak andI cannot communicate that my lack of balking is not a lackof understanding or a lack of caringor listening I just. familiarity.Andwith that ,I dont know what would do much but to cut off all network and hide and what would that DO. no IfI did that I wouldnt be in the position that I AM with it I knew it as a personality even ,did you know that.That I knew it beffore it withdrew. Youve known so many gods Belle what is it of this one but that it has its claws in some one youve fallen in love with. There are so MANY out there of course we arent the most invulnerable of anything but this is why strategy in how to handle them mattersso MUCH and I have confidencein this one this one that I know It would have been safer on this side with his bodyon this side than we are on that side by far. I know how to keep a distance How can I say this and not nnothave you feel like Im doing some thing to hurt you , making some unnecessary risk But makinga plan to avoid this in the future, to be there for him so he iisnt isolated alienated means acting and acting beyond wanting to snuff him out not an option

If I knew it was just keeping the home safe could have gone out anywhere Imsorry Im sorry I didnt understand that but How canI let you know your fear matters without just eating it and shuttingdown when I can do some thing to keep things safer ,to hhelp people I love How can I not share it and tell you why with out you feeling Im lessening it How do I help things stop when thereareso many things said at once done at once, how doI help ground this in any way we havent tried hhow ,if this isnt enough You NEED me but??You need me to stop and I can see how much every eeverythingI try to say isnt comingout How do I let you know I iim here if everything wweve done isnt enough how how do I let you feel hhow much you matter how I love you if What am I doing wrong that it isnt coming across if you cant feel it I dont understand What am I missing

((private))

It's already out here. We're as safe as we were before

What else is that but platitudes to get me to stop acting irrationally? If I misinterpreted then I'm. I am sorry but that's what it felt like. Feels like. I'm not used to being this. Fuck I can't even speak correctly. Im not used to not being able to control this and they almost died and then you immediately turned around and welcomed it into our home. Just because he didn't have a way to actually get here doesnt mean you didn't offer without even

I am afraid. I am weak, right now. We both almost lost someone that we love and there's nothing I can do except just sit here and. And when it came to it you chose him and I'm not. Theres no resentment, I'm not angry with you and I know he's your best friend and I'm only your girlfriend and god I understand it, I do, I'm just. Whether that was what you meant by it or not, that is what it felt like. Feels like.

[questionable-sanity]

The TGCF film trailer has me thinking about Xianle Era Mu Qing again because of his 0.1s of screen time, which is enough to feed me for the next year.

How do you think it felt for Mu Qing, being given the role of the demon? Able to display his fighting prowess, yes, but purposely put in the position destined to be defeated by the representation of Good, the Crowned Prince.

To be assigned a role of Evil, as the son of a criminal. As someone repeatedly accused of theft and wrongdoing simply because he is poor.

It is mentioned that at some point in their performance, Mu Qing began fighting with his all. Was it out of rage? A desperation to prove his worth as a cultivator? Did he hope to defeat the Crowned Prince, even knowing that he would have suffered consequences for it? Was it, deep down, to express a sense of futility - to become the demon everyone expects him to be?

To be defeated anyway, then to be accused of more wrongdoing after the festival, of intentionally meaning to ruin it.

Then, accused of stealing once more. Mu Qing would spend centuries searching for that red bead. For what purpose? To clear his name? To close that chapter of his life forever? To finally be able to forget the past, to put it to rest?

How can someone expect a person who had been treated in such a way to play the eternally grateful, loyal servant after Xie Lian had been banished, when they were all starving and yet he continued to serve? Sure, he had been given the opportunity to cultivate due to Xie Lian, but does being given an opportunity to display your hard work while still working as a servant mean being eternally indebted? Xie Lian's kindness in that decision cost him nothing.

Frankly, overall, Mu Qing had been treated quite poorly as a person, as could be expected of a lowly servant.

Certainly, Mu Qing could have never felt like a friend to the Crowned Prince, back then.

[skunkes]

[bvckbiter]

fandom talks too little about hylla and reyna. reyna killed her father when she thought he'd killed hylla. hylla dragged them out of puerto rico and found them sanctuary and employment on circe's island AND became one of circe's favorites. then when they got captured by blackbeard hylla also got them out of that situation by out-pirating literal immortal pirates. then in a span of three years, they split up, found their own ways to the amazons and cj, and became the leaders of their respective factions. when hylla's queenship was being threatened by otrera in son, she plotted a counter-coup and defeated an amazon queen who couldn't die two nights in a row in one-on-one combat, THEN led her cavalry to camp jupiter. (ik this woman slept like a corpse for a week afterwards). hylla used reyna as an absolutely ruthless bait-and-switch to capture orion, and all reyna said in response to that was, "bet." reyna carries insurmountable amounts of both guilt and gratitude towards her sister. even though they havent seen each other in a while, hylla still drops everything and does everything in her power to save her baby sister when she knows reyna needs her.

[fatedroses]

And some days, I just wish you wouldn't look at me at all.

[cent-scratchnsniff]

my pain

[dykedvonte]

The second fic idea is a what-if scenerio where Jimmy dies in the crash due to and altercation with Curly and how Curly would navigate being Captain once he has to notice the little things and how he and Anya's relationship develop as he adopts an identical view point to hers rather than just keeping the peace.

And maybe i will write it but only time will tell tbh but it's stuck in my brain dome for the time being.

[oceanwithouthermoon]

maybe its just me but i cant stand when people are like "it just doesn't sit right with me how teruhashi thought about aiura 🥺" like yes... its not supposed to ??? because her thinking badly of other girls and prioritizing male validation over everything is one of her main flaws ??? can we talk about that WITHOUT making it seem like shes not allowed to have a single actual flaw without suddenly becoming an awful person? nobody can handle complex female characters at all and its so fucking annoying

[al-luviec]

juvie buddies

[monkee-mobile]

ough god, I cried over this

[shadystranger]

Why did they use the most romantic soundtrack I ever heard in this show on a samdean moment

[juvenile-mudcrab]

What the scrib

Heres my dwemer oc. He has a name, he just forgot it. He forgot because hes really bad at remembering names and didnt need to use his own name for 4000+ years. He was stuck in the Outer Realms this whole time because he got lost. Maybe time moves differently out there. It only felt like 20 years at most to him. Eventually he just names himself Vanchnraldch (vanch for short) until he can remember his actual name.

I figured the dwarves of skyrim dressed warmer and totally took advantage of all the blue and green mushrooms that grew pretty abundantly underground to use as dyes and probably other stuff too. Hes not wearing anything fancy, kinda commoner clothes for a dwemer. Hes supposed to have glasses but they broke so he cant see shit. Hes from Nchuand-zel.

More long oc lore rambling

Why was he in the Outer Realms? Because of one ridiculously impulsive decision. See, Vanch liked to make small model versions of creatures. Extremely intricate and detailed models, but they werent autonomous or anything. They were much more comparable to wind-up toys (do NOT call them toys he will get mad at you)(and if hes feeling upset at himself enough he'll call them toys too) and he made them all by himself by hand. Usually, he would make mudcrabs. This is because he is totally obsessed with mudcrabs and think theyre the best things ever to exist. He rescued a mudcrab from the brink of death from a slaughterfish and replaced most of its heavily damaged exoskeleton with dwarven metal and he named it Kraben and Kraben is his most favoritest thing in the world. He firmly believes the sounds mudcrabs make have something special to it (nobody else agrees with him). Of course, he makes plenty of other things, lots of bugs, sometimes people, whatever other animals hes seen. Scribbles down very detailed diagrams and notes about every creature he sees... unfortunately for him it never occured to him to write down the names of anyone hes ever spoken to despite being well aware he has trouble remembering. Anyway, eventually he ran out of creatures to make and he hit a creative block and it was stressing him out. Having nothing to do is like torture to him, dude can hardly sit still even when he is doing stuff. So, hes young, hes full of energy, hes impulsive, hes overconfident, he decides one day he's gonna open a portal to some random plane of Oblivion and look at all the creatures they got over there. And then come back after hes satisfied. Well, he knew himself well enough that he figured it would take at least 10 years before he was gonna go home.... then he realized, "uh oh, i cant figure out how to get back" so he tries not to worry too much and spends another unplanned 10 years going every which way... hes probably managed to end up in places nobody else has ever been. Who knows whats out there. Unfortunately, not him, because as i said before, hes nearsighted and his glasses broke at some point so hes been going through the realms half blind. Its a genuine moracle that he survived. But he did managed to get a TON of notes on all sorts of things to make models of. Unfortunately he doesnt really care about that anymore because he really really really wants to get back home. He misses his parents and its way too weirdly quiet out there (my dwemer telepathy hc) and no mudcrabs and he scared he'll be lost forever.

You know how Septimus Sigmus mentioned the "dullest of the Dwemer"? Yeah.... Vanch isnt quite the DULLEST but... hes down there. He was still young though. And stubborn. He was supposed to take on an apprenticeship and never did bc he was way into his own thing which wasn't necessarily a bad thing but it did mean he missed out on some pretty historically sought-after info. He eventually makes it a habit to write peoples names down so he wont forget them.

So finally he manages to get back home and he very quickly realizes everything is way wrong. Whole bunch of things immediately sound out of tune and its way too quiet and everything looks like an earthquake hit it a billion times. And even worse, theres two random Altmer hes never seen before. One of them looks like hes seen a ghost and the other one looks like hes forgotten how to breathe with how excited he is. So Vanch is like "who the hell are you" and its Aicantar and Calcelmo, but Aicantar has to answer for both because Calcelmo is probably going to pass out. Kraben is with them (yes, Kraben is THE dwarven armored mudcrab) and immediately runs up to Vanch, which is the biggest possible relief to him at the moment while Aicantar, who is also really excited about the fact that a Dwemer just appeared from nowhere right in front of them, tries to very calmly ask if anyone else is coming back too.

Vanch has no idea what he means by that so he ignores it and instead asks him what happened to Nchuand-zel. Calcelmo finally regains his composure and explains that its been without maintenance for thousands of years. Vanch is... confused, to say the least, thinks this old man is messing with him for no reason, then Calcelmo and Aicantar both realize he probably genuinely doesnt know what happened. Calcelmo asks him where he just came from so Vanch tells him he was wandering the outer realms, totally not lost for real... then Vanch asks where everyone else is. Aicantar considers how to break the news to him or if they should even tell him that, but then Calcelmo just goes and outright says it: the dwarves all disappeared over 4,000 years ago in the First era.

"Huh?" is all Vanch can think to say. Instinctively he wants to deny it because of how absurd it is. Deep inside he can feel the dread building as he desperately tries to push away the acknowledgement of the fact that he doesnt actually have any idea how long hes been gone for... combine that with the state everything is in, and he knows full well Calcelmo isnt lying. But its such an absurd thing. Subconsciously he feels that he must have never gotten back home at all, that this is some odd Outer Realm or perhaps a parallel timeline he somehow ended up in that mimics the one he came from. But deeper and deeper still, he knows this is home. But he refuses to know it.

From then on, he answers what he can when he can because of COURSE Calcelmo is going to ask him 100 questions per second, and it lets Vanch gloat and brag about things. As proud as he is though, he wouldnt like to give false information. Hes honest when he doesnt know something. He doesnt want to tarnish the image of his people by making stuff up. They find his home while excavating, all his work still there pretty much intact. And there, the spider automaton he made as a child was still active and waiting patiently, having cleaned up some mess over the years and constantly attempting to clear rubble from the entrance.

After some time Vanch cannot stand being in his own room because nobody else is there. He really does miss his mom and dad and theyre gone. Instead of facing those feelings he leaves entirely, deciding to see all these other dwemer ruins around Skyrim. Aicantar goes with him for support since Vanch doesnt actually like fighting things as much as he talks shit about other people. In fact, he has a couple of staves that he uses instead, his most used one being for paralysis. He'll kill if he has to, of course, hed just rather not bc he kinda finds blood gross. Hes pretty easily extremely disturbed by people throwing up so you could imagine the kind of nightmare it was to come across Bthardamz. If theres any daedra that he genuinely despises, its Peryite. Whenever he goes anywhere he wears a dwarven helmet because he doesnt want people gawking at him (bc he doesnt know anyone anymore) and doesnt change anything else because he doesnt think Nords are bright enough to look at his clothes and realize hes a dwarf (most people dont, not bc theyre stupid but because dwarves have been Gone forever so any normal person would have absolutely no reference for how a dwarf dressed).

Eventually, he starts traveling by himself, just exploring whatever, and just out of sheer curiosity he ends up finding Serana. Yup, he does the Dawnguard stuff without ever actually getting involved with the Dawnguard. He did it entirely by accident. He helps Serana back to Volkihar, if only because she wouldnt leave him alone otherwise, and its... gross in there, because blood. And then Harkon does that whole offer and Vanch had to try his absolute hardest to not flat out call Harkons vampire lord form ugly because hes well aware of the danger hes in. He declines the offer, Harkon kicks him out, Serana shows up at the dwemer museum later, blah blah, then they end up having to enter the Soul Cairn. Vanch is terrified of going in because, well, the LAST time he went into an outer realm, 4000 years passed. So he doesnt. Tells Serana to deal with her own shit and then leaves. Then she comes back again, assuring him theyre not going to an outer realm this time. Vanch asks why she keeps going to him for help and she admits that shes scared to do it alone, and hes already helped her so far. So hes like, fine whatever, what are we even doing, and she explains the Tyranny of the Sun prophecy and that theyre gonna need to read an elder scroll somehow. Vanch immediately knows exactly what to do for that because he came across those ruins himself (Blackreach is one of the first places he explored because he heard of it growing up but never got to see it), so they go to Blackreach and into the Tower of Mzark to use the oculory to get the info from the elder scroll. So now they know they have to go to some cave.

Blah blah standard stuff, they meet Gelebor. Now the new issue is: Vanch knows the Falmer as the way everyone knows them. They were already like that by the time he was born. He vaguely knew about the War of the Crag, as Calcelmo explained it to him once, but he didnt think it was an actual major thing. He didn't even know the full story of why the Falmer were like that since it happened so long before him. So to see an actual normal looking Falmer standing there.... who gave him an unreadable look, all of a sudden Vanch knew he was way in over his head with whatever the hell was about to happen. In fact, he was nervous. And Vanch being nervous means hes either going to go dead silent or obnoxiously rude... unfortunately for both him and Gelebor, he was rude. Not about what happened to the Falmer, but about Auri-El. Gelebor, having already heard similar things before, mentally praying Auri-El gives him the patience he needs to deal with a dwarf (and trying not to think too much on how there could possibly even be one here to begin with), of all the people that couldve possibly shown up, goes ahead and asks that they kill his brother anyway so they can get the bow. Kind of just so they would leave him alone sooner.

The whole way up to Vyrthur, Vanch slowly grapples with how fucked up this all is. For the first time in his life hes seeing the Falmer as actual people. Which makes it all the worse that Gelebor calls them "the Betrayed" because he now fully understands exactly why. He isnt sure he should be doing any of this at all. It makes him think about how all his kind are gone too. It makes him think about how he shouldnt even be here at all. Most of all, he knows he wont have the guts to kill Vyrthur, but he doesnt want to die either. He silently hopes that Serana will be more capable than him. Or that Vyrthur would be willing to talk.

Of course Vyrthur is NOT willing to talk. Just the sight of Vanch is as if Auri-El himself was rubbing salt in old wounds. At that moment Vyrthur doesnt even care about Serana anymore. He just needs this damned thing to get out of his sight. Vanch almost dies and then he kills Vyrthur. Yeah, they needed the bow, but Vanch doesnt want anything to do with it. To say he felt terrible about everything that just happened is a massive understatement. Then Gelebor shows up again. Vanch doesnt even take the bow. In a daze, he just apologizes and then leaves, so he lets Serana take it instead.

Vanch is way unfocused and goes straight back to Nchuand-zel. Serana can tell he would absolutely not be up to fight Harkon yet, but she isnt sure how much shes willing to wait. But she gives him time. Eventually Vanch pulls himself together, takes the bow, but then asks Aicantar if he wants to come fight a crazy powered vampire lord. Aicantar hesitantly agrees, so the three of them go to face Harkon, Vanch keeping his distance so he can focus on using the bow (he is not good at it). They defeat Harkon, so Vanch turns right around and leaves. Goes straight back to the Forgotten Vale by himself. Serana can tell what Vanch is doing and knows he needs to be alone.

Vanch gets up to the Chantry where he sees Gelebor, who is staring out over the balcony. Vanch puts the bow back in its pedestal and then hesitates to leave. A very big part of him wants to go talk to Gelebor but an equally big part of him wants to go home. But home doesnt feel like home anymore, it hasnt for a while now. He tries to approach Gelebor but hes scared. He cant really pinpoint why, but he is. Gelebor is well aware that Vanch is standing behind him but neither of them say anything to each other. For Vanch, its really that he doesnt know how to say what he would like to with words. For Gelebor, hes just feeling a lot of things. After enough very uncomfortable silence, Gelebor invites Vanch to stand with him, so they both silently stare out over the Vale.

They have a lot of smaller interactions as Vanch visits Gelebor every now and then that very gradually build up to an unlikely friendship. At some point Vanch offers to help fix up the Chantry. Vanch has a weird sort of attachment to him since they both have a "last of their kind" issue and Gelebor is, admittedly, sort of enjoying having someone around. Theyre kind of like... uncle and nephew kind of dynamic i guess. It doesnt happen for a while though.

Obviously Vanch doesnt know about the Last Living Dwemer just yet, but he does eventually learn more about the stuff that happened at Red Mountain and if he isnt careful he'll go down his own spiral trying to find either a way back to that time so he can personally beat the shit out of Kagrenac or a way to bring everyone back or a way to join everyone else or a way to finally just accept it all. Sometimes its good that hes easily distracted. What he'll never know is that the disappearance happened only a few years after he had left, meaning even if he did come back when he meant to, everyone still wouldve been gone.

To be completely honest he was initially supposed be me entertaining the idea of a dwemer ldb but the more i thought about him the less that became anything to do with his character so i decided to just not have it be the case

[smolfrosted]

You ever just rewatch TribeTwelve, see the Observer and have an overwhelming feeling of potentially incorrect realization?

Cause that’s me right now and I’m not going to clarify unless I’m told I’m right first

[skunkes]

not an ask, but I saw ur post and relate a lot to it.

anticipatory grief sucks. people will tell you not to think about it, not to let it steal from today, but some days are just so hard. sometimes it feels unavoidable, like it’s some goliath mountain in the distance or even the sky and you can’t not look at it. it’s like you have to keep trying to distract yourself not to think about it, and it’s exhausting, and you’re so fucking scared of the inevitable.

like how does anyone even function? the idea of the world continuing to spin when there’s this terrible, horrible thing that will happen some day is unfathomable but it does, and it’s horrible. Some day will mark the before and the after. nobody can ever be ready for it.

I hope the love you have keeps you strong. wishing you the best.

this is literally it. i know thinking about it Now wont make the actual day it happens any easier. but it's impossible to not think about it, especially since there's no tangible way to preserve memories or feelings or the like forever. i cry easily and get emotional over most anything and everything, which is another layer of difficulty wrt it because I spiral. I want to squeeze out of my body. im not meant for any of it