#and i can see how people can interpret this as him just being emotionally closed off like bruce or whatever

[rikichie]

Just don't ask me how that huge plush was thrown there

Under the cut, things I imagine in YOI pre-canon, with the ways my thoughts tie into canon to explain why I think them. These are personal headcanons and interpretations.

With Viktor, I imagine his family being high achieving, and Viktor having a lot of expectations on him. And he matches then successfully. But this means his parents think he's doing well, even in moments where emotionally he isn't. They look at achievements rather than looking at him. It's not intentional neglect, they just don't have the awareness of mental wellbeing. He has a bed and food and he's doing well in school and skating, so everything must be okay. It's fine when he's fine, it's lonely when he's not. And it's the first environment that teaches him to match himself to what's expected and wanted of him, fulfilling a role rather than just being.

When he's older, he quietly creates distance. Not cutting them off, but not reaching out. They don't mind. They follow news, and they can show off his success.

When he's young, Viktor loves having fans and being known and admired. Af first he doesn't see downsides to it. And then something happens, as simple as "did you see him throwing the flower at Christophe Giacometti? He was flirting, how cute" - and Viktor realizes his fans will draw their own conclusions and won't believe him if he tries to say they're wrong.

So he starts adjusting his approach. Building a persona, and building walls. Charming smiles that get him anything he wants. Practicing the skill of giving people what they expect. Being what they expect. And then flipping it on its head and surprising them.

If you're focusing on matching and subverting expectations, you're not necessarily being yourself. Any personal exploration of identity is hidden and alone. But on the ice, when he's performing, he can be honest. He can be seen. Because they're going to take it as fake. Think of how Minako reacted to Stammi Vicino - Viktor's earnest plea for someone to stay by his side, well, he's too charming for this to tug at the heartstrings. So he can play with stories that he won't share with anyone any other way, and he knows they'll take it as pretend.. The walls he builds don't allow him to be truly close to people. He has good relationships with other skaters, but emotionally keeps them at arm's length. He doesn't notice he's isolating. Chris and he have fun joke-flirting, but when Viktor steps away from the ice Chris doesn't seem to realize he needs this, isn't close enough to know what he's struggling with. He talks like Viktor is taking away the motivation he's entitled to by choosing to coach Yuuri. His rinkmates see him on good and bad days so they know when he struggles, and Yakov is the only person close to knowing him deeply, but even he doesn't take it seriously when Viktor burns out, so that is still limited.

For Yuri, I think his mother was going through a lot to let his grandfather take care of him. He has a lot of responsibility in that setting, and it all starts when he's so young.

I think, with Viktor being present in his life consistently from such a young age, Viktor is one of the people he sees as family. He absolutely looks up to him, just like he absolutely looks up to Yuuri. And I think he resents the emotional distance Viktor maintains.

He's not very attentive to people in general, but he's the one that explains to us how Viktor feels early in the show. When Viktor left to Japan so suddenly, I think Yura felt abandoned beyond just Viktor forgetting to choreograph a program for him. If it was just the program - he did end up getting Agape, he could have just asked for that, but he tried to get Viktor to go back. I feel like he hates that Viktor went to look for a way to get his spark back somewhere else, instead of staying and finding a way out of his slump with his rinkmates. If what Viktor needs is to coach someone, why isn't Yuri good enough? He's a talented skater and he sees himself as continuing Viktor's legacy, but Viktor chose someone else for that role.

And Viktor did choose Yuuri to continue his legacy. Because Yuuri skates so beautifully, because Yuuri has so much love for Viktor's skating, because Yuuri has drive and ambition and pride and skill and he finds joy in skating, and Viktor wants to nurture all of that into the performance Yuuri deserves to show.

And along the way, he learns how to connect with people as himself. His relationships with Yuuri and Yuuri's family open doors for him to better and deeper relationships with Yuri and Chris and anyone else he wants to be close to.

About Yuuri, there's very little I can say because we know so much. So I'll just share a lighthearted headcanon a few friends and I came up with as a story idea and I just adopted.

I don't share the fanon that Phichit got him into pole dancing. In my mind, he either started himself, or it was Chris - unintentionally. I think they're friends, because of how Yuuri reacted to him in the show, like he's used to him. And I like to think Chris kept saying things that made Yuuri feel competitive. Talking about how it's great for core strength, "but it's probably not your thing." Sent pictures of himself performing difficult moves, and got pictures back because Yuuri was trying to match him or do more difficult things than him. And meanwhile Chris thinks they're showing off to each other for fun. It's how Chris knew Yuuri can keep up with him at the banquet.

I still want to write something for that last bit.

[bicheetopuff]

I can see why it's mostly men hate bkdk, bc both their relationship and characters oppose everything that they stand for AND they can genuinely be interpreted as queer canonicly.

Exactly. They’re both good examples of breaking a cycle of toxic masculinity and a lot of men see nothing wrong with those toxic traits.

Like, Deku breaking himself time and time again for the sake of his friends and baring the weight all on his own is the “role of a man,” and is the exact reason why most men like the vigilante arc so much but hate the fact that class a came to talk him down.

Or the fact that Katsuki used to be extremely closed off emotionally and would get legitimately offended if you point out that he only cries in front of deku. I know it’s not a lot of people, but I’ve seen people say that they prefer pre character development Katsuki cuz “being sentimental is what got him killed” like ajdbejdjd stfu.

Also have yall noticed that Kirishima is mostly liked by women and queer men? It’s cuz he has a different definition of manliness than dudebros, so they literally just don’t care about it.

They don’t like how masculinity is portrayed in bnha. That’s literally it. And they don’t realize how childish they look.

[maybe-im-dark]

The X-Men as an Allegory for People with Disabilities: Why Logan (Wolverine) Represents Our Struggle

Mutants in the X-Men universe have long been recognized as an allegory for various marginalized groups. Often, people discuss them as symbols for race, gender identity, or sexuality, and while these are all valid and essential interpretations, there’s another group that rarely gets the same attention: people with disabilities. At their core, the X-Men represent those who society deems "different," and their struggles mirror the everyday realities of disabled people who face prejudice, violence, and the overwhelming sense that they don’t fit in.

In this post, I want to dive into why Logan (Wolverine)—arguably the most beloved X-Men character—is such a poignant representation of this struggle. Logan’s experiences aren’t just about mutant oppression; they reflect the same violence, exclusion, and dehumanization that so many people with disabilities have endured throughout history. His pain resonates on a deeply personal level because he embodies the way disability can isolate, alienate, and force individuals to question their humanity.

Logan: Beaten Down, Like So Many Others

Logan’s story is filled with unimaginable suffering, much of it inflicted because of his mutation. From being experimented on in the Weapon X program to living through countless wars and battles, Logan has been beaten down—physically and mentally—time and time again. He’s been tortured, treated like an animal, and used as a tool by people who see his mutation as nothing more than a resource to exploit. This is painfully similar to the way people with disabilities have been treated throughout history.

From early eugenics movements to the horrific medical experiments performed on disabled individuals, society has frequently viewed people with disabilities as "less than human," as subjects for abuse or as problems to be solved. Logan’s life, constantly fleeing, hiding, and surviving these abuses, reflects the lived reality of countless disabled people who have been denied their basic humanity.

The Alienation of Feeling Like an Animal

One of the most striking aspects of Logan’s character is how he struggles with feeling like he doesn’t belong. His mutation, which gives him heightened senses, superhuman strength, and animal-like reflexes, also makes him feel less than human. His feral rage, his sharpened claws, and his ability to endure pain make him question whether he’s more beast than man. This deep feeling of alienation is something many people with disabilities understand all too well.

Disabled people are often made to feel like outsiders, whether through physical inaccessibility, social exclusion, or the ways society "others" their existence. Logan’s sense of not belonging, of feeling out of place in the world and within his own skin, mirrors the internal struggles that people with disabilities often face. His story isn’t just one of physical power—it’s about the mental toll of constantly being made to feel like you’re different, and not in a way that’s celebrated, but in a way that isolates.

Physical Power vs. Internal Pain

While Logan is incredibly strong and seemingly indestructible, his true power isn’t his healing factor or his claws—it’s his ability to keep going despite the weight of his internal pain. This is one of the reasons so many people relate to him. People with disabilities are often portrayed in media as weak or fragile, but in reality, they possess immense strength to survive in a world that isn’t built for them. Logan, too, represents this paradox: physically invincible but emotionally scarred.

In the same way that disabled people have to fight for basic rights, recognition, and acceptance, Logan fights for a place in the world. His physical toughness often hides his internal vulnerability, but those who look closely can see the emotional scars he carries—the loss, the trauma, the battles that never seem to end. These scars make him relatable to anyone who’s been made to feel different or "less than" by society.

The Fight for Recognition

Logan, like all mutants, is constantly fighting for recognition—fighting for the right to exist, to be treated as more than a weapon or a threat. People with disabilities face this same struggle. Whether it’s fighting for accessibility, equal opportunities, or even the right to be seen as full people rather than their disabilities, the fight for recognition is ongoing. Logan’s story reminds us that the battle for acceptance is exhausting but necessary, that fighting for one’s humanity is a lifelong journey.

Conclusion: Logan as an Icon of Resilience

What makes Logan’s story so powerful is that, despite all the violence, abuse, and isolation, he never gives up. He’s survived things no one should have to endure, and though he’s scarred, broken, and often cynical, he continues to protect those he cares about. He becomes a mentor to younger mutants, helping them navigate a world that sees them as dangerous or inferior. In this way, Logan’s journey is one of resilience—a testament to the strength it takes to survive in a world that doesn’t always see you as fully human.

People with disabilities can see themselves in Logan because his story is one of constant struggle, of surviving in a world that wasn’t made for him, and of pushing forward despite the pain. He’s not just a superhero with claws and a healing factor—he’s a symbol of the fight for dignity and recognition that so many of us face every day.

Logan’s story shows us that even when the world beats you down, when society tries to strip you of your humanity, there’s power in resilience. There’s strength in continuing to fight for your place in the world. That’s why people with disabilities—myself included—find a part of ourselves in Logan.

[sampoenjoyer]

A Ramble About Sampard

I've seen different interpretations of Sampard, but by far my favorite, and how I'll always see them is like this:

It starts off with Sampo playfully flirting with Gepard, to mess with him, to get under his skin, and Gepard scoffs, ignores him, acts annoyed, but on some level it does get to him.

Eventually Gepard begins to flirt back in his own small ways: He makes quippy remarks, he adds a sarcastic joke, he does something lightly flirtacious.

Then it begins to develop into a fling; with both men being emotionally closed off asf, and putting up big barriers to hide their real emotions from everyone, they kinda assume its not going to be serious, nor become a real romantic relationship. Hell, I think they'd both think they don't have romantic feelings for another. Sampo views it as another fling, something to fill a void of loneliness, to garner some elation and have fun, and Gepard feels confused but excited, enjoying the flirting (and lets be real fucking) their getting up to, but on some level telling himself he could never be with a wanted criminal, that he's wrong for enjoying it.

After a while of a flirty fling they both begin to realize they have real romantic feelings for the other, and their almost upset at themselves as they realize they truly care for the other, they love the other. I think Gepard would intially be more open with his care, love and worry, whereas Sampo would remain closed off for a bit longer before opening up. I've always seen Sampo as the type who struggles to be really truly close with people, when things get too vulnerable or serious on his end he tries to leave, uncomfortable and almsot scared to show his true raw emotions, and always wanting to have an escape, to avoid serious relationships that could really hurt him.

I imagine once entering a realtionship they wouldnt really tell a lot of people, maybe just Serval, Lynx, and one or two other people, but mostly keeping it quiet, for both their sakes and Gepard's reputation, and I could see one day them being much more public.

ALSO EVENTUALLY GEPARD FINDS OUT SAMPO LIVES IN A LITERAL ALLEY WAY AND LETS HIM STAY WITH HIM CUZ YEAH. SERIOUSLY SAMPO FANDOM WE DO NOT TALK ENOUGH ABOUT HOW ITS CANON HE LIVES IN AN ALLEY WAY, PROBABLY SLEEPS IN A TRASH CAN. ANYWAYS RAMBLE OVER.

[jewishvitya]

I posted this with my art but I'm putting it on its own.

Things I imagine in YOI pre-canon. These are personal headcanons and interpretations.

With Viktor, I imagine his family being high achieving, and Viktor having a lot of expectations on him. And he matches then successfully. But this means his parents think he's doing well, even in moments where emotionally he isn't. They look at achievements rather than looking at him. It's not intentional neglect, they just don't have the awareness of mental wellbeing. He has a bed and food and he's doing well in school and skating, so everything must be okay. It's fine when he's fine, it's lonely when he's not. And it's the first environment that teaches him to match himself to what's expected and wanted of him, fulfilling a role rather than just being.

When he's older, he quietly creates distance. Not cutting them off, but not reaching out. They don't mind. They follow news, and they can show off his success.

When he's young, Viktor loves having fans and being known and admired. Af first he doesn't see downsides to it. And then something happens, as simple as "did you see him throwing the flower at Christophe Giacometti? He was flirting, how cute" - and Viktor realizes his fans will draw their own conclusions and won't believe him if he tries to say they're wrong.

So he starts adjusting his approach. Building a persona, and building walls. Charming smiles that get him anything he wants. Practicing the skill of giving people what they expect. Being what they expect. And then flipping it on its head and surprising them.

If you're focusing on matching and subverting expectations, you're not necessarily being yourself. Any personal exploration of identity is hidden and alone. But on the ice, when he's performing, he can be honest. He can be seen. Because they're going to take it as fake. Think of how Minako reacted to Stammi Vicino - Viktor's earnest plea for someone to stay by his side, well, he's too charming for this to tug at the heartstrings. So he can play with stories that he won't share with anyone any other way, and he knows they'll take it as pretend.

The walls he builds don't allow him to be truly close to people. He has good relationships with other skaters, but emotionally keeps them at arm's length. He doesn't notice he's isolating. Chris and he have fun joke-flirting, but when Viktor steps away from the ice Chris doesn't seem to realize he needs this, isn't close enough to know what he's struggling with. He talks like Viktor is taking away the motivation he's entitled to by choosing to coach Yuuri. His rinkmates see him on good and bad days so they know when he struggles, and Yakov is the only person close to knowing him deeply, but even he doesn't take it seriously when Viktor burns out, so that is still limited.

For Yuri, I think his mother was going through a lot to let his grandfather take care of him. He has a lot of responsibility in that setting, and it all starts when he's so young.

I think, with Viktor being present in his life consistently from such a young age, Viktor is one of the people he sees as family. He absolutely looks up to him, just like he absolutely looks up to Yuuri. And I think he resents the emotional distance Viktor maintains.

He's not very attentive to people in general, but he's the one that explains to us how Viktor feels early in the show. When Viktor left to Japan so suddenly, I think Yura felt abandoned beyond just Viktor forgetting to choreograph a program for him. If it was just the program - he did end up getting Agape, he could have just asked for that, but he tried to get Viktor to go back. I feel like he hates that Viktor went to look for a way to get his spark back somewhere else, instead of staying and finding a way out of his slump with his rinkmates. If what Viktor needs is to coach someone, why isn't Yuri good enough? He's a talented skater and he sees himself as continuing Viktor's legacy, but Viktor chose someone else for that role.

And Viktor did choose Yuuri to continue his legacy. Because Yuuri skates so beautifully, because Yuuri has so much love for Viktor's skating, because Yuuri has drive and ambition and pride and skill and he finds joy in skating, and Viktor wants to nurture all of that into the performance Yuuri deserves to show.

And along the way, he learns how to connect with people as himself. His relationships with Yuuri and Yuuri's family open doors for him to better and deeper relationships with Yuri and Chris and anyone else he wants to be close to.

About Yuuri, there's very little I can say because we know so much. So I'll just share a lighthearted headcanon a few friends and I came up with as a story idea and I just adopted.

I don't share the fanon that Phichit got him into pole dancing. In my mind, he either started himself, or it was Chris - unintentionally. I think they're friends, because of how Yuuri reacted to him in the show, like he's used to him. And I like to think Chris kept saying things that made Yuuri feel competitive. Talking about how it's great for core strength, "but it's probably not your thing." Sent pictures of himself performing difficult moves, and got pictures back because Yuuri was trying to match him or do more difficult things than him. And meanwhile Chris thinks they're showing off to each other for fun. It's how Chris knew Yuuri can keep up with him at the banquet.

[grasshopperdoingdogpaddle]

Respectfully, I completely disagree with your interpretation of Omi and Fung's relationship. And I mean respectfully. Complete /gen. It's just interesting how two people can walk away from a show seeing such different things.

I never picked up on any hostility like you talk about. (In my brain, I am legit confused why you think Fung dislikes Omi. Lol!)

In my viewing I saw 1.) Fung holding Omi to a higher standard of behavior because he's been at the temple longer and shouldn't need a relearn certain things while the others are learning some of these expectations for the first time. and 2.) Fung refusing to play favorites while in charge of training. I always got strong "I'm not Mom at school." vibes.

Which could easily be a reaction to the other monks judging Fung for potentially being too soft on and emotionally invested in their choosen one because he raised him. Like A:TLAB, only instead of saying "Get bent!" like Monk Gyatso, Fung said "If I keep strict boundaries, can I still be his teacher?" But that's just conjecture.

Anyways, I just felt like throwing my two cents at you, cause clearly we had very different experiences with these characters.

No disrespect taken. When I watched growing up, I had also figured that Omi and Master Fung were close and had a father-son bond, especially off-screen. Master Fung always came off as stoic to me, so I assumed he was the type to love more subtly and quietly. After all, Omi was an orphan who grew up at the temple, so his master would basically be his dad in my mind!

I was surprised to come back to the series and see that there's so little warmth and so much tension in the relatively few interactions we actually do get between Master Fung and Omi.

Omi's got this really strong, really unrequited affection for Master Fung. While Master Fung seems surprisingly consistent in just... whatever this is. Even in their private moments.

When it's not that, it's both trying to be professional and dispassionate.

Master Fung grows a lot in the background over the course of the series. In particular, you can tell he regretted the tone with which he handled Raimundo at the beginning of the series. Master Fung actively takes the steps to be a more open person to them over time.

He strives to become better, in response to the others needing him to be better.

Master Fung has quite a few moment where he lets down his walls and shows a soft side.

It's simply never directed at Omi, from what we see.

He does break past the stoicism for Omi quite often, but what slips out in those moments is anger or annoyance.

I was so surprised that a relationship I had assumed was probably a pretty close father-son bond as a kid is a cold and stone-walled master-and-least-favorite-student thing in hindsight! It is definitely fascinating and explains a lot about Omi, though.

[edoro]

Dunmeshi spoilers, talking about Thistle and Delgal

the more i think about it, the less i feel like the text of Dunmeshi really does support the interpretation that Delgal didn't love Thistle

like, yes, he absolutely did use Thistle, and displayed a clear sense of entitlement towards him - the baseline expectation that if he had a problem, Thistle could and would solve it, and then the idea that once he'd set Thistle to solve a problem he could just... turn that solution off when he felt like it ("we've been here a while now, isn't it time we left the dungeon?" <-words of a man who has not truly grasped what he asked for, what Thistle did to fulfill it, or what any of the repercussions of this are)

there's also an interesting thread of carelessness when it comes to his physical interactions with Thistle during high-emotion moments, like when he grabs onto Thistle by Eodio's sickbed or when he thumps Thistle on the back after Thistle summons monsters to kill their enemies and then brings that kid's dead dad back to life

it feels like he's a large dog who doesn't realize how big he is, or perhaps doesn't realize how small and delicate Thistle is, and perhaps at times is very aware of it and uses his size to intimidate/express his frustration

all of that aside, though, i think it's very clear that prior to Thistle becoming dungeon lord and tbh for a decent chunk of time at the beginning of his tenure as dungeon lord, Delgal had a very emotionally intimate relationship with him

i don't think you can sort them neatly into the categories of older vs younger sibling. they've both been both at different times, depending on how you measure it. Thistle is certainly older chronologically, and there was a chunk of Delgal's life - a very formative chunk, too - where Thistle was older, smarter, and stronger, where Thistle looked out for him and protected him and taught him things.

and then there were a few years where they were at the same developmental level... and then Delgal outgrew Thistle. he got bigger and older physically and he matured mentally past the point where Thistle was. not only that, but he became king, and while Thistle may have been raised alongside him like a brother, that doesn't make Thistle a prince - he was first and foremost a servant (and property) of the crown, even if his position meant he enjoyed a close relationship with the king, queen, and prince.

but that doesn't make Thistle necessarily the little brother - he is now, but it seems to me that there's still a part of him and Delgal that sees him as someone with the power to comfort and protect and teach, rather than someone who needs to be comforted and protected and taught

take the scene where Delgal says he's afraid of dying after his father was killed: that's an extremely tender, intimate, emotional scene. Delgal is crying while Thistle strokes his hair and promises to protect him. Delgal, the king, is being vulnerable in a way he absolutely cannot with most people, and Thistle sees his vulnerability and offers not only comfort but the promise of safety - don't worry, i'll make it better, i'll chase away the monsters under your bed, i won't let anything bad happen to you, i won't let anyone hurt you.

Delgal sees him as someone to seek that comfort from and Thistle sees himself as being in a position to give that comfort. he yearns for Delgal's attention and approval but also sees himself as Delgal's protector.

and then we have scenes like the one where Thistle resurrected that kid's dad, where he sees everyone staring at him in the aftermath of this bloody route and a bit of casual necromancy and realizes they're unsure, even scared of him, and it's Delgal who steps in and changes the mood by thumping Thistle on the back and praising him; Delgal who manages the crowd and keeps Thistle safe, setting the expectation for how everyone should react, lending his social cachet to Thistle in this moment to protect him from backlash

they go back and forth like this with each other, and i think it's one of the most interesting things about their relationship. no one else in Delgal's family has the same kind of relationship with Thistle. no one else knows him as well or loves him like Delgal does. no one else is close with him like that.

ultimately, i don't think you can look at the way he sought comfort from Thistle after his father's death and think that there isn't love and emotional intimacy there. the real tragedy is that Delgal always loved Thistle, but he never understood Thistle, and his inability to do so combined with his general passivity and avoidance played a big part in things getting as fucked up as they did.

[thedarkdisgrace]

This is my thread from twitter on Dazai’s promise to Oda, how I believe Dazai tries to keep that promise & Dazai’s interactions with the PM + why Oda last words were what they were. I kinda had written this in response to some particular claims over there. Mostly around Dazai returning to the mafia.

Not gonna lie, this might be long for some, I actually cut out alot lol I kinda got carried away. These are just my interpretations, take them as you will. I also didn’t edit this from twitter so, sorry if there are spelling mistakes lol

I want to start out by saying that if you are viewing BSD in a “everything is either black or white” lens, I feel you are missing the entire point of BSD & a major theme. This story is entirely morally gray & every character is a different shade of gray.

There is no pure good or pure evil within BSD, even if some characters might get close to the extreme of one side or the other. Now, going into the rest of this with that mindset let’s start with EXACTLY what Oda said to Dazai.

“Be on the side that saves people. If both sides are the same, then choose to become a good person. Save the weak, protect the orphaned. You might not see a great difference between right & wrong but… saving others is just a bit more wonderful.” The Dark Era.

Oda is essentially saying that “sides” don’t matter, what matters is him choosing to be a good person. THAT is what Dazai promises to Oda. His promise is to become a good person. That is the goal he works towards everyday. Oda didn’t make him promise to leave the mafia.

It makes no difference what /side/ Dazai is on or who he interacts with. No matter where Dazai is or who he is with it doesn't change HOW he chooses to approach the world. As long as Dazai continues to do whatever good he can, to work towards being a better person, he is keeping

his promise to Oda. His interactions with the mafia or the people within it don’t affect the fact he is still choosing to try to be better everyday (which again, is keeping his promise). Whatever the mafia does is separate from Dazai even if he is interacting with the members.

Hell, even if Dazai ends up in the PM again with the upcoming trade, it doesn’t negate all the progress he made NOR does it break his promise. Dazai isn’t /completely/ different BUT he /is/ different than he was back then. His perceptions have changed, whether he admits it or not

That won’t change if he goes back. He will continue to be different if he had to rejoin the mafia. He’s fully capable of keeping his promise even then. There are all different levels & types of “doing good”. Dazai is still capable of doing good in the mafia, just not in the same-

exact ways he can in the ADA but all the organization's play important roles in protecting the city. People seem to forget that even the mafia members are mostly morally gray, they still have the capacity to do good, even if they also do bad. Chuuya is a good example as he has-

saved the entire city a minimum of twice, he loves his city & would give his life to protect it. On a smaller scale, Kouyou agreed to assist Dazai in getting Kyoka free from the PM & the government. Plus don’t forget Oda himself was a mafia member & ex assassin yet many describe-

him as a good person. Besides, the ADA has needed the PMs help countless times at this point, the ADA would’ve been screwed without them. Point is, Dazai can continue to chose to be a better person no matter what organization he’s with or whom he chooses to interact with.

His individual journey is up to him, but if he continues doing better that’s all that matters. But since I know people will disagree about what that promise means, let’s get to the root of WHY Dazai’s promise to Oda was to choose to become a good person.

So, why were Oda’s last words what they were? As we all know Oda was similar to Dazai in some ways when he was younger. As a child assassin, he was pretty much disconnected from the world around him emotionally & just going through the motions until Natsume came along.

Natsume gave Oda the book he had been looking for, the last installment of his favorite series. Reading that book is the key moment that altered Oda’s path. In Oda’s own words, “the world I’d known before completely changed. Before that all I had was killing.” The Dark Era.

But the copy Natsume provided was missing specific pages around why the assassin character in the book stopped killing, Natsume obviously did this on purpose. Before providing Oda with the last book, Natsume had told him “Then you write what happens next”.

Oda decides to take those words to heart later on & write about why the assassin stopped killing himself. This is where one of the most important lines is.

Oda says “I decided to write it myself. I would become a novelist & write a story about why the man stopped killing. But to become a novelist, I needed to sincerely know what it meant to live. So I stopped killing.” The Dark Era.

Oda admits here that he hadn’t really lived, hadn’t known what it /meant/ to live. To experience life in the way most people do. This is where he & Dazai connect. Neither of them had really lived & they couldn’t see a reason to do so.

Oda even says in the Untold Origins light novel, “I don’t need forgiveness. There is no forgiveness in this world. There is only retaliation- revenge against those who betray you.”

That was Oda’s mentality before but then Oda makes his choice to stop killing.

It’s only then that he starts to actually truly interact with the world around him & the people in it. /Especially/ the people. He starts to help people & through doing so he begins to understand living. Oda says he continued to think about one particular line from the novel-

“People live to save themselves. It’s something they realize right before they die.”

Oda believes Natsume knew he was an assassin. That he gave him the book with the torn out pages & that singular line left untouched to tell Oda to save himself. I believe Oda is right.

Natsume wanted Oda to save himself. As for exactly why Natsume did so, I couldn’t say as of right now.

But why is all that important?

Well, because that’s what Oda ends up telling Dazai with his last words.

Yes, Oda tells Dazai to become a good person, those are the words he uses & that is Dazai’s promise to him. But the message beneath the words themselves? /Save yourself./ Oda is telling Dazai the same thing Natsume told him. /Save yourself./

Oda wanted Dazai to save himself. He tells Dazai to become a good person, to save people, because that’s how he, himself, found an understanding of living. It’s how he experienced living for the first time & how he was trying to save himself a well.

He encourages Dazai to follow the path he did because they are similar & saving others was the only thing Oda could see that worked. & Dazai listens /because/ he knows Oda actually walked that path himself.

Oda would not care who Dazai associates with or where he goes as long as Dazai continues to try to save himself. To keep trying to be a better person for his own sake as well as others. Again, I repeat the line Oda kept coming back to. “People live to save themselves”.

So, if Dazai was hanging out with Chuuya (or anyone else in the PM or in the dark) or even started dating Chuuya, as long as Dazai continues working to save himself & saving others, Oda would be happy for him.

Dazai is also pretty clear with how he feels about Chuuya, given he never calls him ‘ex partner’ he only ever calls him his partner. I think what he says at the end of the lovecraft fight is an accurate description, “we’re enemies of the bad guys.”

Regardless of sides, their relationship hasn’t changed, they’ve proven that 3 times over already, & I doubt it will. Sides don’t matter because they’ve always only been themselves with each other. Dazai has still kept up trying to be better since reuniting with Chuuya,

That’s not going to change if he spends more time with Chuuya. Dazai is his own person & is more than capable of continuing to keep his promise no matter where he ends up or who he’s with.

Not to mention every single time Dazai & Chuuya have worked together again, it was for a good purpose. To save Kyu & prevent another Guild attack, Chuuya fought a dragon to save the city (without even talking about the plan beforehand) & with no guarantee Dazai would be alive

(aside their soulmate thing where they always know) & now they worked together to defeat Fyodor to save the world (hopefully saved it). So, obviously being close to Chuuya again hasn’t changed Dazai’s goals & he is still keeping his promise.

But tbh, at this point, I don’t think his promise is the /only/ thing keeping Dazai in the light & trying to become a better person anymore. Dazai in DA says “You were right, Odasaku. It’s certainly wonderful to be on the side that saves others. If you plan on living, that is.”

While Oda was right when he told Dazai being on the side of light wouldn’t be able to fix his loneliness, it’s clear by now Dazai sees the value in being there & he understands why Oda told him what he did. I think through the ADA, he has found more & more reasons to keep going.

In conclusion, Oda simply wanted Dazai to save himself by choosing to become a better person. Dazai is his own person & is more than capable of keeping his promise to Oda no matter where he is & who he’s interacting with.

BSD is a morally gray story & all the characters are various levels of gray, pretending the mafia is /all/ bad is just objectively incorrect given all they’ve done for the city.

Chuuya & Dazai’s relationship is one built on unyielding trust & his presence in Dazai’s life isn’t gonna affect Dazai choosing to be better everyday. It already hasn’t changed anything since they’ve ben working together again. I doubt his presence would ever change it.

Reminder to everyone, these are my interpretations & opinions. Take what you want from it, if you made it this far thank you for reading. i hope you guys liked it.

[lakesbian]

can I please hear more about how sy and jamie don’t have the usual wildbow "no homo" vibe.

i'm extremely interested after seeing the quotes you pull out.

so when i call something a Wildbow No Homo Moment i'm referring to the moments where his writing demonstrates disdainful, spiteful, defensive insecurity about the idea of characters he's envisioned as straight being viewed as gay. when he did shit like write lisa literally turning to the camera after hugging taylor to tell people not to get the wrong idea & forum post about how all of the undersider girls are straight and "pandering is pandering," the clear message was that he thought characters being interpreted as gay would automatically ruin the meaning of their relationships: turn them into something cheapened and emotionally shallow, something silly and stupid and inferior to a normal, meaningful friendship between two normal, heterosexual women. it says a lot abt how he was viewing the idea of his characters being seen as gay (& obviously viewing gayness itself) as like. a grubby, vapid, self-centered, annoying intrusion onto his Well Written Female Friendships. it's fundamentally refusing to take the possibility of his main characters being gay seriously, and demonstrating that refusal by mocking and rejecting the possibility at every opportunity.

now to be clear. this isn't touching on the subject of whether or not we should get after wildbow for other complaints about jamie. but sy and jamie do not have that specific brand of wildbow no-homoing going on, at all. there's not that dripping spiteful insecurity about the idea of them being interpreted as gay--they're literally constantly holding hands, snuggling close, talking intimately together, etc., and it's never followed by sy turning to the camera and going "OH BOY I LOVE BEING HETEROSEXUAL AND SURE HOPE NO ONE INTERPRETS MY PLAYING FOOTSIE WITH JAMIE AS MEANING I'M GAY FOR HIM!" in fact, jamie is gay, and he is severely in love with sy, and it is taken as serious and meaningful and interesting and worthy of heavy narrative focus and emotional contemplation. you could call it bad taste in other ways, but sy being straight and confronted by The Difficulty of it is already not the same thing as wildbow blowing airhorns and going "fuck you for wanting to imagine characters as gay" every 3 seconds. also frankly sy sitting up for several hours at 2 am trying really hard to mentally turn himself gay for jamie is so. well i can't even call it funny even though it might sound that way in a void. but it's so Something that i'm inclined to grant wildbow clemency just to see more of whatever the fuck is going on with those two

[prince-liest]

Hi! About your staticradio series (which is PHENOMENAL omg😍) - I know you said Vox is kinda falling in love while Al will remain aro. Which is awesome, we love to see rep! But I'm wondering if they will end up as QPPs (who fuck, lol)? Or it'll strictly be FWBs? Gah it's diffifult to describe it bc labels are so subjective and often too limiting, but I guess what I'm asking is whether they'll have an emotional relationship too, however it might look with their orientations? Will Al in particular have any soft feels for Vox & be fond of their unique bond? Even if Vox is in love with him when Al himself isn't? (I worry that would scare Al away😭) An intimate emotional closeness regardless of the specifics?

Thank you so much!! I've been enjoying writing it enormously so it always brings me a lot of joy that other folks are, too. >:D Just a heads up, this post has turned a little long because it got me talking about Alastor and the way he handles his feelings vs his ego in general.

First: I think the answer to this depends fully on how you personally define a queerplatonic partnership! I don't think Alastor would ever go for, like, a committed relationship with Vox in any form, but I also don't think that this would necessarily be a sad state of affairs for Vox, who I obviously write as poly as fuck with his toxic yaoi husband. Maybe it's because I'm aro af, but I feel like from Vox's end, "Yeah, I get to fuck around with the guy I'm obsessed with and he's not, like, nice, but I think I Stockholmed him into giving a shit about me!" is not actually a state of affairs he'd dislike! Especially since it's got that shiny "I'm special!" vibe in the sense that Nobody Else Gets To Get This Far With Alastor.

As for Alastor's side of things...

I think that so much of their dynamic dynamic isn't just set by Alastor being aroace, it's also set by him being a fucking sadist and a narcissist, HAHA. Like, he is very much in the middle of developing feelings about Vox, which (if my favorite interpretation of his little breakdown in the finale is correct) is also where his character arc is heading with regards to the hotel crew in canon, too, but his friendship-and-trust arc is slowburn as all hell and not entirely linear.

Part of the fun in writing Alastor is the process of qualifying all of his feelings with his sense of superiority in a way that is protective of his ego. He is freely and openly fond of people when that fondness doesn't expose any kind of emotional vulnerability in him. For example: He feels a condescending but genuine fondness for Niffty and Mimzy, whom he protects, and that's safe! He's quirky friends with Rosy, who is a benevolent semi-equal who uplifts his ego, and that's safe! He... may or may not have started caring enough about the hotel crew to have put himself at risk for them, and that is not only dangerous to his physical well-being but also massively humiliating, which is arguably worse to someone like Alastor.

He has SO many ego-prioritizing defense mechanisms and it's fun for me to pay attention to because I, too, am someone whose cardinal sin is probably pride. Anything is permissible only as long as it can be framed in a way that doesn't insult his ego.

Anyway, the point is: I don't think "soft feels and fondness for their unique bond" is on the list of ways that Alastor is able to find himself feeling about someone like Vox. The whole reason their whole situation in 666: Live on Air! started is thanks to Alastor's awareness and amusement at how obsessed Vox is with him. He sees himself as above Vox, and knowing that Vox is more emotionally invested than he is is part of the appeal. It's just gone from (derogatory) to (fond). (Which is, guess what? Safe!)

(It also means realizing that Vox is falling madly in love or whatever just nets a reaction somewhere in the region of, "Wait, is that significantly different from what you were already doing?", lol, because the only thing that's changed is the flavor of feeling, not the level of exposed emotional underbelly that he thinks Vox is showing him.)

TL;DR: He likes Vox like a cat likes a favorite mouse.

[jules-writes-stories]

Anon was very callous about it but you do write Mithras as a stereotypical twink and have him bottom exclusively; you gave Eris a lot of the same qualities as him (feminine, thin, smaller than his partner, flamboyant) and I think that is probably what throws some people like anon off. Not saying it doesn't work in the story because it does, it's well written, but Azriel doesn't have any submissive traits about him so I think people find it hard to believe he might fit into a submissive role.

Anon,

Long reply ahead: I’ll try and address everything you mention!

1. I never want to imply that Eris is physically weaker than Azriel. He’s not. In the very first scene they’re together, I say he and Az are close in height. Az is slightly taller and Eris is leaner in build.

Eris is a war general and warrior. I try to make that clear multiple times in the story. The story has not offered a chance to show Eris in his role as a warrior/general yet, but there are scenes where he spars with Sylvan and Lucien and he owns the Autumn Council in Chapter 2.

I’m not sure I would describe my Eris as outright flamboyant… (I think Mithras more so, but some of that is affect).

But I want readers to picture Eris how they want, so if flamboyant and femme works, go for it! I definitely say he favors the LoA in looks (a plot device, but I can see how it may be interpreted.)

He is not a bear, and he’s bratty, he’s pretty to look at (all Vanserra boys are imo), and he kikis with Fidel, always serves a look, so Ok. I can see what you’re saying. Bottom line: there’s a lot left to interpretation. And that is intentional. Some of it is vibes and just what the character told me while writing him. I am ok with people reading him as a Twink (although I would warn against reducing him to solely that— he is much more). But I also think I’ve left it open enough that readers are not forced to see him as that, because the term Twink sort of implies he’s just one thing?

2. I can also see how easy it is to equate Mithras x Sylvan’s ship with Azris, since (without giving much away) there are parallels. But a quick reminder: Azriel and Eris have known of each other for 5 centuries and their mating bond snapped (in JEL) at the HL meeting.

Mithras x Syl have known each other for significantly less time. They care for each other and there’s chemistry/potential— I love them—but as of now, they’re not mates. So their sexual relationship is new. They haven’t explored or had the opportunity to grow.

3. One of the reasons I bring up this difference: I have Eris top Az in the last chapter because I want to express that Azris (through their bond, love/shared trauma) have an innate understanding of what the other needs in moments of crisis.

Chapter 12– the Velaris Chapter—Eris is overwhelmed and struggling. Azriel takes him to Velaris and Eris “lets go” emotionally, (musically lol), sexually— and Azriel is there to “catch” him, right?

Chapter 18—after Azriel’s torture scene—there’s a role reversal. It’s not about one character having power over the other— It’s about a character who struggles with vulnerability letting go and knowing his mate will catch him/carry him home (metaphorically).

So even if Eris is a twink (non-comittal because I want readers to have their own views and want to avoid being reductive) I don’t think it precludes him from topping, particularly in the loving/nurturing way he does this for Az, when he realizes it’s what his bat needs. It’s more about Azriel being vulnerable rather than submissive? A relinquishing of control, versus a giving away power.

TLDR: it’s not really about penetration. It’s more about giving each other the chance to be vulnerable, to trust, be cared for and to let go.

Real life example: Troye Sivan is a self described Twink who also identifies as a Vers…

I hope I made sense in this very long reply!

[pyrrhocorax]

do you have any fun headcanons about the 'everyone knows about nation people' universe? the fake social media posts of it are so funny

hmmm, i haven't thought about this in too much detail (although i love the fake social media posts too!), but when i think about this, i tend to think more about individual nations' opinions on humans and the dynamic they have with people rather than humans-->nations, if that makes sense?

i do have a few headcanons that i think are fun re: nation-human relations in modern day:

norway goes through human assistants extremely quickly (high job turnover rate) because he can be difficult to deal with/eccentricities of being old and demi-immortal, but in some ways that works out well for him because while a lot of humans can't work well with him, he will occasionally get an assistant that mutually clicks with him, and that person will be his assistant basically until the end of their life. he generally has some strong disdainful feelings for humanity as a whole and the problems they cause, but is also very fond of certain individual humans and will form close relationships with some humans if he feels those humans are worth it (again, 99% of the people will not click with him, but the 1% that do are golden). the humans that do tend to be in that 1% just kind of know how to deal with his eccentricities and tend to be a bit oddball themselves (norway makes them worse).

norway's sense of using social media is kind of sporadic. he's the kind of person i think that will not post anything for three months, then post a picture of a beautiful fjord he took with no caption, a week later makes a text post that just says "mold" or something similarly cryptic like a really zoomed in/blurred photo where you can't tell what is happening, and that's all you get from him for another three months. so i think he does some numbers on social media in niche human circles but i don't think he entirely understands all of the time that he's amusing to people (or that people consider his posts to be shitposts). there is probably a small community dedicated to trying to decipher what he's posting that comes up with all of these theories, but sometimes the answer to 'why hasn't he posted in six months and what can his last ten tweets tell us about what's happening' is that he either dropped a phone into a ravine while hiking or he forgot social media existed (old man at heart).

denmark is the opposite to me, in which he's more surface-level friendly and cordial with all humans, but he holds them all at a distance more emotionally (even when he seems emotionally engaged with them) and seldom develops close relationships with humans in modern day. it's kind of a professionalism thing in the way he views it for himself, but deep down it's because he wants to avoid getting hurt by them (in many ways), and he generally prefers his own company if his only other option is to interact with humans. (this is also my attempt at kind of bridging the hetalia character of denmark being depicted as rather joyous/emotional/social and marrying it with the more of the actual nordic/danish stereotype being more a bit more introverted/closed off to strangers/etc).

iceland is a weird one for me because i think he feels more connected/comfortable with other icelanders (and humans in general) than he does other nations most of the time, but there is still a disconnect between him and people. I think this is because I view his relationship with the nations he has the most personal history with/closest to (i.e. other nordics) as being very historically complicated even if he is loved/mostly has positive interactions with his family in modern day. i've always interpreted iceland's character as having a very disorganized attachment style in that he can oscillate between exhibiting all types of attachment style with the same person even during a short span of time (a lot of this is norway's '''''fault''''' because i also see norway having somewhat disorganized (but much more avoidant/dismissive while ice is way more anxious) attachment too, but for different reasons and it is less internally distressing for him than it is iceland because he's older/has figured some stuff out by the time iceland is a teen. but since norway was the person most responsible for looking after young iceland when norway was basically a Teen Dad himself, his own lack of self-development/healing from his own attachment issues and other external forces impacted how he raised iceland. oops.)

That being said, lot of iceland's disorganization is exhibited internally rather than externally (so even if he's anxious about being abandoned, since he's also avoidant/dismissive and is like 'i can take care of myself', he both wants and doesn't want reassurance at the same time which is confusing for him but those parts of him just battle deep inside of him). Because of this, humans are often easier for him to interact with because he knows they will all 'leave' him (i.e. die), so he oddly feels more comfortable knowing how that relationship will end -- this allows him to feel both attached and unattached at the same time, which suits how he operates a lot of the time. with icelanders especially, he's kind of well-connected and liked (in part because he's generally much more down to earth and fairly considerate in comparison to a lot of other nations) even though he doesn't feel like he is.

i think poland should be a popular livestreamer on twitch. i have seen others posts about this before and i think they are 100% right.

[qtubbo]

also like phils lore is kind of solo lore. he relatively stays to himself (+eggs) while turbo's rp is heavily invested into morning crew, fitpac is heavily invested into morning crew, bagi and Mike both hang out a lot with them. Phil does hang out with morning crew ofc but the group dynamic isn't really a part of his thing, you know? so I can see why people don't really put him into their morning crew fics other than there sometimes because he is only there sometimes + he usually gets on a little later than everyone else if he does hardcore so he misses the initial log-in check in. like if you believe he's part of the group that's fine but imo he doesn't seem very heavily invested in it, just friends with most people in it yk? and that's fine!! he's just not a core part of it for most people's interpretations

Morning Crew is a very particular dynamic that formed from 3 people who hung out just with each other almost everyday because of how early they logged in. While at the beginning it was kinda undefinable, oh is it just Morning people? Is it a friend group? Is it just the name of a trio or a general title? As Fit, Tubbo, and Pac’s lore started combining, it became a very particular them thing, they help each other because they’re close. Tubbo’s lore specifically involves directly how Morning Crew is a group of 3, and does not involve Phil in the slightest it’s just not a consideration to him. Pac and Fit, while in very different ways, do engage a lot with how the dynamic of Morning Crew affects them emotionally, Fit relies on them for company, while Pac becomes stressed out without them.

Phil’s lore on the other-hand is very isolated, it has nothing to do with his dynamics with Morning Crew, they exist outside of him. There is no issue with people making solo lore, but all of his lore being so solo is a statement in itself about how he’s not part of that group. As you said even if we go with the requirements of logging on earlier, Phil is either entirely within the afternoon group, or as most times at the end of Morning Crew time. He is also not as grouped up as them like the newest inclusion Bagi is, when Phil hangs out with them it’s individual, he’s close with Fit and Tubbo but not them together. Plus not being close at all to Pac and Bagi, but as noted involving Mike that’s not fully limiting since he is not close with Tubbo. Bagi hangs out with Morning Crew as a unit, unless we are heading towards afternoon time she’s normally with all three of them, or at least a majority of the group.

It’s just that Phil doesn’t really fit the requirements people generally use to determine Morning Crew and as anon said he doesn’t want to. Phil exists within his own story, and his friendships are singular he has no intention of being part of the Morning Crew family. The other ccs also just don’t consider him a member even though unlike Bagi and Mike he was hanging out with them fairly constantly when they formed, he just makes no attempt to be part of the group and the group makes no attempts to have him join.

It sadly comes off to many that the inclusion of Phil in Morning Crew by fans is due to his popularity and want for their cubitos to be part of a group. It’s fine to include him, but just don’t get mad when others don’t.

Phil’s just their friend, close to some but he doesn’t need the title and he’s perfectly happy with that.

(This was not meant to be so long sorry)

[roryhastoomanyfandoms]

There are many interpretations of the. Miguel and Gabriella and Miguel situation ans ALL OF THEM ARE GREAT but like...have my 2 cents...just hear me out...

Miguel in canon is an asshole in a major way largely because of his abusive upbringing, getting Eldest Daughtered from a young age trying to take care of his younger brother and protect him from George's violence and Conchata's...indifference/contempt? And he starts getting better once he becomes Spiderman, or at least starts thinking more about the consequences of his actions, and what the people in his life mean to him (shit still goes bad because his comics are insane)

If dad!Miguel never became Spiderman...it's honestly pretty likely he doesn't have that bit of growth and honestly, wouldn't have been a great dad. Not abusive, but I can imagine him being kind of absent and kinda emotionally neglectful, seeing how Miguels everywhere are prone to distancing themselves. Miguel also can't keep a relationship, either by breaking up or Spiderman Branded Widowing, so Gabriella wouldn't have had a consistent mother figure.

Alright, so, Gabriella, here, is being raised by a dad with so much baggage and the belief that its better to just keep her away from it (ei, keep her away from him), no real mom/mom is always changing because of Miguel's turbulent love life, maybe her uncle (depending on. Stuff) and maybe her grandma (depending heavily on Stuff). This is a fragile environment that does love her, but ultimately the adults in her life have too much shit going on themselves to effectively tend to her and her needs, especially as she becomes a tween

But our Miguel.

Our Miguel has every reason to love her wholly and unapologetically. Because he has done some very questionable things to have this child, and he treasures every goddamn second. This is a privilege he has comprised his morals for, and he isn't taking it for granted like Gabriella's actual father.

Meanwhile, Gabriella's dad fucking vanishes one night and the guy who shows up looking close enough to fool adults, he's everything she wanted from her dad. He doesn't raise his voice, doesn't get curt. He doesn't have a new girlfriend every other month. He doesn't have this tense, confused look in his eye whenever he looks at her. The guilt is still there, but it's something else. Its not her dad not knowing how to be better. She doesn't know what it is, but has suspicions.

Her papa looks at her like he's finally figured out how to feel about her, like she's finally stopped being another responsibility or chore to tend to. This one loves her even when she needs help with homework, even when she gets in trouble at school, evening when puberty hormones make her temperamental.

Gabriella doesn't know what happened to the first one, and she never finds out. She just knows that there's something...wrong, with the man she calls Papa now, but he loves her the way she always wanted...so it's fine, right?

Miguel, for his part, sees himself teeter towards their parents. Sees himself have the thing he wants so badly, would do anything for, and skirt the line their parents crossed, their whole lives. And then, that other man with his face dies. Maybe someone else, maybe Miguel really did kill himself.

Either way.

A child gets a parent who loves them, a parent gets a child who they can love freely.

So, it's fine, right?

[mayapapaya33]

I could write a 10 page essay on my thoughts and feelings about "A Bard's Lament" and about Scanlan. How I think a lot of people misinterpret what actually happened IMHO. It feels to me like a lot of people treat that scene like Scanlan is finally telling VM off for being bad friends and kind of cheer him on rather than realizing that he's having a mental health crisis having reached his breaking point and is lashing out.

Establishing some Game mechanics first and foremost, Sam consistently rolled 30+ deception checks anytime one of the others asked him how he was doing or tried to find out if he was having any problems. He is THE great deceiver. He lied to all of them, about everything. He never shared his worries or fears, or his drug problem. Nothing. Anytime they tried to connect with him, he shot them down, deflected masterfully. The other characters LITERALLY had no idea he was having any problems, if the players did anything about his problems after rolls like that it would have been metagaming. It's not that VM didn't care, they didn't know!

Which is frankly how he operated the whole campaign. From day one, anytime any of them asked him a personal question, he make a joke. Of course, Scanlan was a joke character in the beginning of the campaign, but from a character pov, the character treated everything as a joke. He cared about his friends, and they cared about him, they would die for him and vice versa, but he didn't have any heart to hearts with anyone. Slowly over the course of the campaign, everyone else opened up to each other, (or sometimes the narrative forced them to open up cough cough Percy cough cough) and he remained closed off, using humor to deflect any deeper connections. And the way the story went, he was never forced to share.

By the time "A Bards Lament" takes place, he's in a very bad place emotionally and is sad and scared and angry, and he says things to hurt people, not things that are true. (ok maybe some of it was true, but even the true bits were weaponized and honed to be the worst possible interpretations of events in order to hurt, not actually to BE truth. Vax and Keyleth definitely deserved a tuning up after their bs with the dragons. Personally, I'm very proud of Percy for not punching Scanlan for the comments about coming back to Whitestone just so he could be "proud of his name" or whatever, I've never heard such utter bullshit. Then some people are like, hey, why's Percy so mad at Scanlan, huh I fucking wonder? lmfao).

I relate to him in that I also use humor to deflect people and I sometimes wish that people would see what I feel and think; see through me, without me having to tell them. But that is unfair! I'm lying to them! That's on me! Which Is why I want to choke Scanlan out so often probably lmfao, because I understand where he's coming from and can see the mistakes he's making, and I just want to shake him.

I think a lot of people relate to Scanlan but perhaps... how shall I put this delicately... do not have the same level of self-awareness about the self-destructiveness of this particular approach to life and relationships and so feel a catharsis when he blows up at his friends because they also want to yell at their friends for not noticing their pain. Even though they are the ones who have hidden their pain with such skill that it really isn't their friend's fault they're clueless in the first place.

All that said, Vox Machina aren't perfect. They definitely could be better friends, they made mistakes. I just want to talk about the part of this that I don't often see discussed; Scanlan's depression and mental health struggles and their impact on his friendships and his responsibility.

Some people also act like VM bully "poor helpless Scanlan" (TLOVM sort of also acts like this sometimes which is annoying but oh well). When the reality is that Scanlan is a sharp tonged wit that verbally eviscerates his companions on a regular basis and so they treat him how he treats them. It's all banter... right up until it isn't and he's feeling sad and hurt and worthless and suddenly words hurt. But instead of opening his mouth and TELLING ANYONE how he feels, he just lets it build and build until he explodes.

I'm really worried about how TLOVM is going to handle it going forward, because so far they haven't really set up the group trying to connect with Scanlan and that's a mistake. They have a little, but they should do more. The scene with Pike was good, him instantly reverting to clownish behavior the second it got too sincere then him being frustrated with himself. But they really need to do some of that with the others as well and I'm worried they won't have time or won't think it's necessary.

It's HIS responsibility to reach out to others about his declining mental health. He is the one who set the rules of engagement as "Everything is a joke, especially serious things, I am allergic to sincerity" The others follow his lead. There's only so many times you can reach out to someone earnestly and receive a joke back for your troubles before you eventually respect the unspoken desire not to share and stop asking.

A lot of people cite the prank as some monstrous thing that VM did that proves that they don't love or respect Scanlan. Whereas actually, Sam Riegel admitted that at another moment in time, Scanlan would have found it funny. Pike knows that about him, which is why she did it. (Ashley of course, did it to send Scanlan over the edge because she's evil like that and they all adore drama lol). He was just in a terrible place mentally, so it felt like an insult instead of friendship. (idk where he said it, please don't ask, do you have any idea how many HUNDREDS of HOURS of CR I have watched?! It was probably talks machina).

Also, way back in the early episodes of C1 that lots of people skip, I forget which episode it is, but it was when they were under Kraghammer, Grog got his brain scooped out by the mind flayer or that brain creature or something (I'm a little fuzzy on the details). Anyway, they were all very frightened for Grog and they weren't sure they could save him. Once they figured out they could, Scanlan wanted to set up a prank for Grog to wake up to once they healed him (he was brain dead, in a coma or something). Point being Scanlan's a massive hypocrite lol. (which Sam fully admits).

-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-

Now here's my VERY controversial opinion, don't hate me lol, I never actually liked the "what's my mother's name?" thing. It felt very meta gamey, like Sam looked up Percy's parent's names before the session as a gotcha! Not really like Scanlan actually knew their names. So it never hit me the way it was supposed to. But that's just personal taste. It also circles back to my previous points of YOU NEVER OPENED UP TO THEM SCANLAN, OF COURSE THEY DON'T KNOW YOUR MOTHER'S NAME! THAT'S YOUR FAULT!!!! MAYBE IF YOU DIDN'T TURN EVERYTHING INTO A JOKE, THEY'D KNOW HER NAME!!!!

[hoshibait]

a late night analysis of sports by beach bunny and how i associate it with ryoena. heavily inspired by that one anon a while ago and my lovely follower who made me a ryoena moodboard today, to those two, thank you <3

(please note that i’m gonna use my own interpretation of the song, i know it’s commonly associated with complicated and unrequited/ambiguous feelings but if anything i feel like that intensifies my reasoning for associating it with ryoena LMAO. also this is just for fun. don’t take it too seriously unless you wanna use this as a way to get to know my selfship more.)

anyway! onto my gay little ramble.

okay hi, i love overanalyzing things so if anything i’m using this as a way to articulate my ryoena dynamic. to start things off, let’s look over the generally accepted meaning of the song.

i basically take this as a helpless clumsy person chasing after an emotionally closed off person after a few times analyzing the lyrics. and if any of my mutuals know anything about ryoma and ena’s dynamic, that’s basically how i describe them. their whole thing is that ena’s just hopelessly smitten over this closed off stern boy and it’s ambiguous if he even returns such feelings for a while. and if he does, he’s really bad at confronting them. not only complicating things for him, but also frustrating ena in the process. basically i see this song very obviously being from ena’s perspective.

first two lines are self-explanatory if you know anything about ryoma hoshi. ryoma’s very stern and more of a loner right from the start, and ofc noticeably depressed due to trauma and other mental health issues. ena immediately takes interest in him and wants to get to know him. “i could be lonely with you.” could be them wanting to spend time with him regardless of him feeling down a lot. “why do you seem so blue?” can be taken as them still being curious about him and why the way he is.

“why are we so complicated?” is self explanatory, their relationship is odd. i often like to joke about it being “friendship goals!!!” or whatever as a sarcastic thing. although tbf their relationship is very ambiguous even when they’re intimately together. not quite romantic, but very much not platonic either.

“maybe love is overrated” is very interesting to me especially. i’m definitely just looking too much into it but i personally find it PERFECT for ena. and if anything a huge part of their character. ena’s the ultimate relationship counselor. being especially known for being good at tackling romance problems. however the bitter irony being that well, they’re very much on the aromantic spectrum, and that they heavily struggle with own romantic life, or rather lack thereof. as good as they are at handling romantic problems for other people. romance frustrates them beyond relief when it comes to themselves. that’s why it’s so agonizing when they eventually fall for ryoma. not only do they have mushy feelings for someone for the first time, but the person is, very emotionally closed off.

i absolutely love this verse. it’s a simple metaphor but it works so well. sports very much being a metaphor for the “game of love” so to speak. and again, adds onto ena’s characteristic of struggling so much with romance for themselves. “save the games for the girls on the tennis court” can refer to ena’s insecurity and frustration, basically saying “find someone else to toy with.”

and of course, the sports metaphor being perfect due to ena’s crush being a former tennis prodigy, down to the tennis court line, like cmon it’s perfect.

“say you need me, but lately, you feel unsure.” fits ryoma in this universe, so well. LMAO. even when ryoma eventually starts to return those feelings, he’s reluctant due to his fear and paranoia of letting his partner down or losing them immediately. he feels he’s not worth the energy, so he simply pushes people away.

“come on to me, i need more.” is ena’s desperation to just, help this poor guy LMAO. but also just being starved of his affection.

“if you feel broken, promise i won’t break your heart. if you shatter, i won’t let you fall apart.” is self explanatory. it’s ena’s constant reassurance and comfort for the boy. they’re basically a hypeman for him lmao, although they don’t come off too strong. they come to learn that he dislikes it when people are too intense, in a way this kinda instills a new fear into ena. with them accidentally coming off as too avoidant sometimes as a result of not wanting to overwhelm him.

“love’s a word i always hated.” just really reinforces why i associate this song so hard with ena and ryoena as a whole.

again, more of ena’s desperation just turning into frustration. calling ryoma confusing in the process. “if we keep score, bet my money that i’m losing.” i interpret as them being dejected and hopeless about the relationship.

aaaand that’s about it! this is my first time doing something like this so bear with me. hope this wasn’t too cringe lmao. my phone is about to break bc of how long this post is so i’m gonna end it here lol