#and i can more easily understand where and how they went wrong

[certifiedsexed]

hi so i was hoping for like a gut check on this because maybe it's weird and if it is i want to stop.

so im trans and autistic, and because of that im a little behind on understanding masturbation and my body. ive been trying to read up on it and im trying to learn how to masturbate. one of my friends and i were talking about it, and he asked to see some of the webpages i was looking at (shoutout to you and planned parenthood). but we were looking through them and one of the links went to scarleteen.

and he said it was weird and kind of perverted because im an adult (24) and thats for teenagers. i said that i thought it was okay because its not like im interacting with teenagers and theyre pretty good for teaching me i thought because i like the clear writing and the easier words and also its just a webpage. but the more i think about it the more freaked out i get. like scarleteens one of them and also teen vogue and some other ones because those are just what come up a lot of the time for learning more.

so what do you think? is it bad? because my friend and i ended up not sure. but if its bad i'll stop i dont want to hurt anyone.

Hello! Let me see if I can help.

So, there's nothing wrong with using resources designed for children when you're an adult, for the most part.

You're not taking resources from children or even interacting with children [though that's not even necessarily an immediate issue, depending on the situation], you're just using an accessible website with a lot of information on things you might've missed.

It can be very hard to find websites with accessible language, especially when you're new to a subject and there should be no shame in using something designed for people younger than you if it's helpful and its not hurting anyone.

I don't quite understand where your friend is coming from, to be honest. Using "perverted" and "weird", both harsh terms for something harmless, to describe this doesn't really make sense to me.

But I understand that it's upset you, understandably! So let me be clear:

No, there's nothing wrong with what you're doing. Using Scarleteen and websites like Teen Vogue are both perfectly fine, regardless of your age. They're targeted towards children, but children aren't the only ones who can use them.

It absolutely hurts no one for you to read their articles and learn. In fact, it's a good thing you're learning from these websites and showing them to other people you know. That only helps websites like that.

It's not bad in the least, Anon. I'd encourage you to keep using them, especially if they're helping you learn easily. That's literally awesome! [I'm honored to be among those you're learning from! <3]

Hope this helps! Let me know if you have any other questions. <3

[purplesaline]

Don't forget Radical Acceptance! That ties into the letting go when someone dies aspect and is also a big reason why they seem so emotionless a lot of times. When you accept there's nothing that can be done about something and let it go, much of the anger and distress goes with it and that calm acceptance that's left can seem unnaturally numb to people who haven't accepted they're powerless yet.

It wasn't the Jedi teachings that failed Anakin, it was Obi-Wan's inexperience as a teacher. He told Anakin to let go of his anger but didn't give him the skills and support Anakin needed to be able to do that. Anakin needed his anger acknowledged and validated, he needed someone to co-regulate his emotions with him when they were too powerful for him to manage on his own.

He was told to practice the teachings but he wasn't given the skills he needed to do so, he was only given the skulls that worked for Obi-Wan.

A situation I'm sure a lot of people who have been through multiple therapists can relate to. Not all therapists are created equal and there's a lot out there that only seem able to follow one path, whether or not that path works for their client They're fine if what you need just so happens to align with what they can provide, and they're alright if your destination is the same and there are no obstacles on the path that are impassable for you even if it's not the most efficient or beneficial path you could have taken. The problem is that they'll often blame the client if the path is inaccessible to them and not realize they should have chosen a different route.

A good therapist, and a good Jedi teacher, know many paths and many destinations and can recognize when their charge is going the wrong way and can help them realize the destination they actually want to reach, and help them find the most suitable path for them to take to that destination. Or, most importantly, can recognize when they don't have the skills or knowledge to help guide their charge to thay destination or on that path and will help them find someone who can.

Anakin was failed, but not by the Jedi, directly at least. They never should have given in to Obi-Wan teaching Anakin. Their initial concerns were correct and they should have listened to their instincts. Obi-Wan was attached to Anakin, to use the definition indicated above, and because of that attachment he was too permissive and allowed Anakin to opt for comfort when he needed to face discomfort to grow. Obi-Wan couldn't tolerate his own distress at seeing Anakin in distress and so Anakin never developed the skills he needed to tolerate distress at all.

But the Jedi are, before anything else, simply people and thus are fallible. As people they tend toward over-intellectualizing and dissociation as maladaptive coping skills to tolerate distress/anger etc, which work really well right up until they don't. Many avoid relationships completely to prevent attachment because it's easier. And when you don't learn the skills you can't pass them on to your students, who can't pass them on to theirs, and so on until the Jedi Order collapses because because no one has the skills to correctly follow the teachings.

What we see in these movies time and time again though is that there is always another opportunity to make the right choice no matter how often you've made the wrong one.

An important thing to remember is that true Jedi Mastery is Enlightenment, which is unattainable. It's a moving goal post that we're never actually meant to reach because the point isn't reaching our destination. The point is traveling toward it. The point is the journey, we only choose a destination so we know what direction to start walking in.

I think too many Jedi forgot that part and saw the Dark Side as traveling down the wrong path when really they'd just stopped walking. All it would have taken to rejoin the light was to take another step but if you think you've traveled a long way in the wrong direction it's a lot harder to make the right choice.

"the jedi don't have therapists-"

jedi philosophy, and in particular the practices and teachings that jedi were expected to implement in their everyday lives, was therapy. dialectical behavior therapy (dbt), to be exact. anyone who's familiar with dbt knows where i'm already going with this, but like genuinely look up the basic tenets of dbt and it's identical with what the jedi were doing.

dbt, to put it simply, is a specific therapy technique that was designed for ptsd and past trauma. it's pretty different from traditional talk therapy. it combines a few different environments (individual, group, etc.), recognizing that no single format of treatment can stand alone.

the key focuses of dbt include:

emotional regulation- understanding, being more aware of, and having more control over your emotions

mindfulness- regulating attention and avoiding anxious fixation on the past or future

interpersonal effectiveness- navigating interpersonal situations

distress tolerance- tolerating distress and crises without spiraling and catastrophizing

i'm sure it's already clear from that list alone how much the jedi teachings correspond with the goals of dbt. the jedi value, teach, and practice the following:

identifying and understanding emotions

mindfulness and living in the present

compassion, diplomacy, and conflict resolution (on interpersonal scales, not just planetary or galactic)

accepting and tolerating certain levels of distress or discomfort (particularly mental, such as discomfort at the thought of losing a loved one to death)

idk man seems almost as if jedi mental health practices and dbt are two sides of a completely identical coin. (fun fact: both star wars and dbt are products of the 70s.)

and guess what? dbt was specifically designed as a treatment for borderline personality disorder. remember that one? or, if you don't, maybe you remember a specific character, the one who was literally used as an example by my professor in my undergrad psych class when she was teaching us about bpd?

tldr: simply existing within the jedi community, practicing jedi teachings, surrounded by a support network of other jedi of all life stages, was the therapy for anakin. even when viewed through a modern lens. it was even, more specifically, the precise type of therapy that has developed in modern times to treat the exact types of mental issues he was struggling with.

[coridallasmultipass]

I hate when my phone won't let me have 2 audio sources running at the same time (depending on the app). I know what I'm doing, let me hear the discordant noises. My brain has built-in audio separation for music. It came as compensation for auditory processing issues. Don't make me pause the music.

[gguk-n]

Hey so i was listening to boyfriend by Johnny orlando - and i was wondering if you could do a plot where lando just kept the reader around because he likes the idea of her because she is so giving and understanding and like she worships him but he doesn’t find her the most beautiful woman so he is easily distracted and kind of embarrassed to take her out in public and the reader understands it but in a negative way as if she is not enough for him and she leave him but when she does lando understands her importance and he wants to make it right

With a happy ending?! Am i asking too much

You can totally ignore it if you dont like the idea . Much love ♥️

Thanks for the request!! I might've taken some liberties with the request but I've tried to stay as true to it as I could. A lot of angst.

TW- Separation anxiety, panic attack

Girlfriend

The first time Lando met Y/N was at a club, he was celebrating one of Max's wins. The club was crowded and packed to the brim, he had had a couple shots and was nursing a glass of whiskey, he wasn't sure how he ended up with when a girl approached him. She was average, but he didn't mean it in a bad way since he was probably average to most people. She tapped his shoulder to get his attention; "I know this isn't the place people ask people out on a date but will you go out with me?" she asked loudly. Lando was amused by her confidence, "I don't even know your name, sweetheart" he whispered in her ear. A shiver ran down Y/N's back, "I'm Y/N. You're hot and I don't think I would approach you if I was completely sober" she giggled. "Why not?" Lando asked puzzled, ""Sober me isn't this confident" she beamed. "hmm...I think I would like to get to know drunk and sober you" Lando said making the girl smile. She fumbled around in her purse and pulled out her business card which had her name, phone number and email with the company she worked at, at the back. "Here. Call me or text me" she said placing the card in his palm and winking before she left.

Lando thought about it for a couple days, he liked her confidence. So, he texted her. That's how they had started dating. Initially, Y/N didn't know who Lando was; even though Lando had thought she was someone who knew who he was and asked him out. Initially, Lando planned on dating her for a while just because no one had asked him out before. But as days turned into weeks and weeks into months; Lando started to grow dependent on her. Even though Y/N didn't know about Lando's career in the beginning; she knew about Formula One more than most drivers or the FIA combined. She read up on all the races and all the teams and all the drivers. She wanted to make a good impression on all the people who surrounded Lando.

To her, Lando was a beacon of light in dark times. He needed her just like she needed him, at least that's what she thought. Y/N always had separation anxiety and since she started dating Lando, it had grown exponentially and the thought of losing Lando would send her on a downward spiral. Lando had no idea how dependent Y/N had grown to him. To Lando, she was someone he started dating because she asked him out but eventually grew used to having around. He liked the ego boost she gave him, she wouldn't get tired of singing praises about him or bragging about how great Lando was in the 2 years that they had been dating. Lando loved the commodity that came with having a girlfriend that was at your beck and call.

Lando wasn't a very outwardly affectionate person towards Y/N, ever. So, Y/N chalked it up to everyone is different and some people don't like PDA. Sometimes, it irked her. Because, she would notice him being affectionate with his friends but holding her hand was foreign to him. He never went public with her, leaving the people to speculate what was going on between them. Sometimes, the voices in her head would get louder and tell her Lando didn't really love her but he always said he loved her, so those voices were wrong, she told herself.

It was at a McLaren work event, there were a lot of sponsors present. She saw Lando interact with people, her eyes never leaving him or dimming down as they sparkled watching him talk to people. One of the sponsors, a woman a few years older than Lando, left a sour taste in her mouth. Her hands lingered on his for an uncomfortable amount of time but she pushed those thoughts aside and placed herself in between them to ease the tension.

Then at a race weekend, she had decided to ask Carlos to make her some coffee since his coffee always helped with her headache. Carlos was currently talking to Lando near the Ferrari hospitality. She didn't mean to eves drop but she happened to hear the conversation between them; "I mean, she's great and all but some of the models that approach me or some of the celebrities that come to the races, they are gorgeous. Y/N , she's okay. She works a 9 to 5, I don't expect her to be Anne Hathaway or anything" Lando told Carlos. The pounding in Y/N's head had gotten louder, she turned around and headed back to Lando's driver's room.

The way back felt tortuous, her breathing had gotten uneven. She felt it, the last time she had a panic attack was so long ago. Lando gave her so much comfort, she felt so loved always but right now, she felt like nothing made sense. As she closed the door, her breathing was ragged, she had fallen down on the floor on her knees, tears streaming as every voice in her head started chanting; you're not special, look he's bored of you, you're not pretty, who would want you? you're too much, you're too clingy, Lando doesn't love you. Y/N buried her nails in her palms as she tried to shut the voices down. Her head was pounding and her vision had blurred with all the tears running down her face. She crawled up to find a paper and pen. She wiped her tears off and just like she would try to get over her panic attacks before, she started writing on the paper in capital letters. LANDO LOVES ME. LANDO NORRIS LOVES ME. She found herself chanting that as she tried to even out her breathing. After a couple of minutes, the ringing in her ears and the pounding in her head had subsided. The papers lay sprawled on the floor. She pushed herself up on the sofa in the room. It took a while but she was back.

Lando had noticed his girlfriend's absence. Y/N knew she wouldn't be able to sit here for long. She told one of Lando's mechanic's before leaving, not having the heart to face Lando. A few minutes after she boarded a taxi, Lando texted her to get some sleep and that he'd be back after free practice.

Y/N couldn't help but think about all the times Lando wouldn't tell people about her or conveniently forget to introduce her. All those times stuck out to her like a sour thumb. She felt so many emotions and the biggest of them all was anxiety that Lando didn't truly love her. Y/N shut down that day, like she always did whenever things got too difficult. She didn't talk to Lando, saying that she wasn't well or go to the races the entire weekend.

They flew back home together, Y/N was too quite the whole time making Lando uncomfortable with the silence. Back home, she quietly started to clean up the house, trying mustering up courage to talk to Lando about how she had been feeling. But she couldn't really muster up enough courage. Lando could sense something was wrong but whenever he would try to bring it up, she would just brush him off.

A few days of silent treatment on her part and Lando was going mad. "Baby, Y/N, is everything okay?" Lando asked his girlfriend who was sat reading a book. "Yeah" she nodded not even looking up. "You've been acting strange since we came back" he pointed out. Y/N placed the book down and looked at Lando with tears in her eyes, "What happened?" Lando asked cupping her cheeks. "I think we should take a break" she whispered. "Why?" he asked. "I just...I need time. I...I feel like..." she stuttured, "too dependent on you. My separation anxiety is at an all time high, I can't lose you, I'm scared I'll lose you, so, it's better to distance ourselves" she thought but no words left her house. "I need time. I don't think we're right for each other" she finally mustered out. Lando's hands dropped to her side. "You don't mean that?" he stuttured. "Yes I do" she breathed out. "I think I'll leave" she said getting up. "To where?" he asked. "I think I need time for myself Lando" she mumbled as she left to pack her stuff.

Her brain was on autopilot, she packed up her stuff even though she didn't want to. "Bye Lando" she said walking towards the door, "I've always loved you, I don't think I'll ever stop" she thought as she shut the door. Lando was stood there shocked at what had just transpired.

The days after Y/N left, things at Lando's house or for Lando were different. He was quick to feel her absence from the moment he woke up to the moment he fell asleep. Every little thing he did or thought about doing was plagued by Y/N and how she would do it for him.

The next race weekend, Lando couldn't focus. Everyone saw, from the fans to the engineers; everyone saw how Y/N's absence was affecting Lando. It was his dad who sat him down after the race and decided to talk to him, "What's up Lando?" he asked. "Nothing dad" he forced a smile. "I know Y/N not being here is affecting you. Did you two fight?" he prodded. Lando sighed, "Kind of, she said she wants a break" Lando said. "oh, what about you? What do you want?" he questioned. "I....I" he breathed in, "I want her" he told his dad finally. "Than tell her. Talk it out, if you two can't see eye to eye than their's nothing left. But don't regret never having tried" his dad advised. Lando perked up at his dad's words.

Lando was able to contact Y/N soon since she hadn't blocked him anywhere. They planned to meet up at a local cafe, after a lot of insistence on Lando's part.

The day they were gonna meet came, Lando dressed up. He got there early and waited for Y/N to walk in to the cafe. When she did, he couldn't help but smile. But when he tried to hug her, she cut him off. She took the seat opposite to him.

"Hey" Lando broke the silence. Y/N was sat playing with her hands and without looking up, "hi" she replied slowly. "Y/N, can you look at me? I just...I miss you. Please can we talk about this?" he said, "About us" he spoke pointing in between them. She finally looked up, her eyes were teary. "I miss you too" she mumbled. "Than come back. I love you baby" Lando stated. "I don't know Lando. I just feel like maybe we aren't meant to be" she muttered while picking at her skin. "Bullshit, you're the only person who was ever meant for me" Lando stated. "All these days away from you made me realise that. I love you not just because of having you around but because it's you. I need you in my life" Lando explained. "But you could have anyone. Any model, any pretty girl. I just... Lan" she broke down, "I feel like I'm not good enough for you. I've seen you with people and how affectionate you are and than when it comes to me, you're the completely opposite. I feel like I'm not important to you" she sobbed. "No, baby, you are the most important person to me. I'm sorry, I never tried to show it. I was stupid, please give me another chance. Let me show you how much I love you. Please" Lando begged holding on to her hands. "Lando, I'm scared of losing you. I can't always live with the thought of losing you" she explained pulling her hands away. "Let me show you. I'll do better I promise." Lando said determined. "Give me one chance. I won't disappoint you" Lando pleaded. Y/N thought about it; she still loved Lando and she couldn't let him go just yet. So, she nodded. "Thank you. I love you Y/N. I'll do everything to show you how important and loved you are" Lando stated with a big smile and got up from his chair and leaned in to peck her lips. "I love you" he reiterated pulling away. "I love you too" Y/N said finally looking Lando in the eyes.

[gb-patch]

GB Patch Games: Sensitivity Reader Update

Okay, well I am able to make another statement before Rose does. I can now explain much more easily why I didn’t fire Rose. There’s been new developments with the leakers. The people behind this have doxed Rose’s discord account (please don’t go looking for it) and also shared a screenshot of an email that was sent to my support address months ago. They believe that incriminates us somehow, but really all it’s done is shown in broad daylight what they were doing and why I was defending Rose so much. If I had brought up that email as a connection to this myself people understandably would’ve thought I was making a conspiracy.

However, it is out now. Here is the story- a few months ago someone who wanted to remain anonymous sent me an email with a screenshot where Rose called me a cracker. And I told them I appreciated the concern but it’s alright, was there evidence of Rose being unkind to players? They had nothing. No response.

As an aside, yes, I have been aware for a long time that Rose uses crude language when talking about me. That doesn’t mean I’ve hidden how evil they were from players. It means I’m allowed to choose what I’m comfortable with. That original “reveal” didn’t shock or upset me in any way. Our Life is a sensitive, wholesome game, but I’m a full-grown adult. I’m not innocent or pure. The game I released before OL is XOXO Blood Droplets. Something I wrote and released to the public is full of crude jokes, curse words, and violence. It’s cartoonish and comical, but edgy. Rose themselves likes to BS with bad words and I’m not accepting abuse because I think getting called a pussy is funny. I know Rose doesn’t hate me or wish me any harm. Rose also isn’t causing “discourse” for me and my games on purpose, they were joking that bringing up serious topics is “discourse” to some people. Ironically, the leakers who did this are trying to make some “discourse” on purpose.

Regardless, I initially thought that email was from someone earnestly worried for me and that they moved on when it was clear I was fine. But that’s not what happened. Them and at least one other person have been waiting for months to bring this up again. They went through almost a year’s worth of Rose’s private posts to collect as many unflattering screenshots as they could, and then they didn’t send them to me. They posted them publicly. I had a suspicion from the get go that it was the same person/people from before who couldn’t prove anything to me in private. And if true, how horrible is it that a bunch of the comments they shared were crude language towards me, something they already knew I’d brush off as nothing. They decided for me that it was wrong and they wanted the rest of the players to do the same. Or even less charitably, those extra posts were simply there to make Rose look as bad and untrustworthy as possible and they didn’t care that I was comfortable with it. I could not explain everything we were thinking/feeling at first, but behind the scenes we were discussing how this was personally motivated and not a knee-jerk act without forethought. And we do know for certain at least the main people involved now, and they do have personal issues with Rose.

Also, if you still believe that they just wanted to help the game at any length because Rose is that huge of a risk, showing that email and framing something innocuous about me (not fainting at the word “cracker” and politely being open to more proof) as serious “evidence of wrongdoing” at GB Patch Games makes me believe they want to smear Rose so bad they’ll try to turn players against me as well. Plus, the post is framed as “this email was anonymously sent to me”, but we know from account details that the people who could’ve gotten those screenshots of the discord and email are the same people who sent that email and started this situation, which is embarrassing. I’ve confirmed the screenshots shared in the email to me and the original public post came from the same private, “venting-safe” discord server. There’s very few people in there. We know it’s still you and not a separate source. I can’t prove they think I’m stupid or in their way, but I can’t see how anything they’re doing is trying to be beneficial to the creation of OL: NF. They told me in the email they’d give me more evidence if I requested it and I was ready to know, but instead they went silent for months and then did this.

I want it to be clear that this doesn’t mean players can’t wonder if Rose has enough experience to be a sensitivity reader right now, or to worry they’re so invested in the game that it’s going to effect how objective they are with their feedback, or to say that Rose is flawless and has never done anything hurtful. However, I hope you can understand why I was on Rose’s side and couldn’t just fire them over this. It felt so incredibly unfair. If another person tries to get their way by doing this in the future, I will not hail them as a hero and immediately fire at the target. And I don't tolerate any racial harassment of any kind to anyone on my team.

If those people want to continue to share Rose’s private posts in retaliation, you can fuck off. If you somehow reveal now that Rose is secretly a murderer, I’m not gonna apologize and say I was so wrong about you. If you had tons of evidence of Rose being horrible to players, you should’ve sent it all to me and with full context to begin with in the email like you offered to do. I just don’t understand.

Any players who like to see someone’s least flattering points portrayed in the worst possible way and continue flocking to the leaks as fandom drama, I don’t want you in this fandom. I don’t want you to enjoy my games.

Anyone who has been truly hurt by this and are left confused and angry, I do completely understand that. I didn’t know how to handle this, and it made a lot of people not know how to keep trusting me. I am still looking into getting a community manager to help me better communicate with players, especially when something serious happens. And I’ll always be around for you to reach out to if you have doubts about anything.

[astrxbtchs]

☆⋆｡𖦹°‧★ (𝐌𝐨𝐬𝐭𝐥𝐲) 𝐒𝐲𝐧𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐲/𝐀𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐨 𝐎𝐛𝐬𝐞𝐫𝐯𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 ☆⋆｡𖦹°‧★

𓆩♡𓆪 Unrequited synastry can be seen with vertex making hard aspects to the moon. Since vertex is an angular placement, it will be felt by the vertex person. The vertex person is affected by the planet person more bc they are the source of energy that the vertex is being activated with. With a moon square vertex for example, the moon person will provoke deep emotions out of the vertex person simply because they activate this energy from them. They feel more because that energy is invoked out of them, causing intense emotions.

It reminds me of this for some reason:🧍🏾‍♀️-> > >🧍🏾‍♀️ Basically the person on the left (moon person) naturally projecting their energy onto the person on the right (vertex person) and the vx taking it all in and becoming heavily affected. You can tell a bit how that vertex angle can be a bit one sided ***I really hope you understand this interpretation lol this is just how my brain computes things for me to understand it. I hope it helps

𓆩♡𓆪 Another unrequited aspect could be Neptune Square/Opposition to mercury. This can show lies and deception being told by the Neptune person. Communication exchanged between the two can be very hazy and difficult to understand, as if you never know where you stand with this person and words are easily misinterpreted and taken the wrong way. There's feeling as if you can't completely let your guard down or trust this person, for fear that they may be lying to you.

** experiencing synastry with mercury in the 12th can feel the same way.

S/N, please let me know if you guys want a whole post on my observations/opinions of unrequited synastry in a chart. I have a lot of ideas on this so tell me if that is something you would be interested in ;)

𓆩♡𓆪 Keep in mind when looking at synastry aspects, that the aspects with 6 degrees or tighter are really the ones you need to really be paying attention to. When aspects get too wide in a synastry chart the overall energy of it is dimmed and doesn't affect the connection as much as closer orbs.

𓆩♡𓆪 Having Chiron in the 3rd house is constantly being self-conscious about how you communicate with others and always looking back on the embarrassing/awkward encounters with others and inwardly cringing

𓆩♡𓆪 Every Capricorn rising and Sag rising are naturally popular and will always have a group of friends. A Sag rising will naturally attract people to them with the bright aura they exude. People will want to be around Capricorn risings to feel like they are "in", these people have the influence of power and overall give a status image that people like to attach to so they can feel that way as well.

𓆩♡𓆪 I feel Capricorn risings are one of the few in the ascendant signs that can come close to rivaling the intensity a Scorpio rising has. Imagine these two in a room seeing who can gain the most control over the other first lol. I can only imagine if in romantic attraction this connection is INSATIABLE because neither of them would want to give in to each other first. I feel they both put each other on edge.

𓆩♡𓆪 I know we talk about the 1st house/ascendant for our looks but can we talk about the 10th house also playing a big role in our outward appearance as well. 10th house talks about our representation to the world that we have the best ability to control, whereas 1st house is unconsciously there on display.

𓆩♡𓆪 (ANY) Virgo placements will go through the most traumatizing experience ever and you would never know because they will appear so put together. Or they will act so unfazed as if they didn’t just tell you the most life altering moment they just went/lived through.

**if you are a virgo rising my heart really goes out to you. I can't imagine living my life in a state of complete psychoanalysis of everything. Almost as if your mind can take over you a lot because of the constant examination of every single thing going on in your life, I know that can be quite exhausting. Y'all are so strong🫶🏾

𓆩♡𓆪 Are you a master manipulator or do you just have mercury in 7th or mercury in Gemini/Libra?

𓆩♡𓆪 I don't understand why people don't give credit to how BINDING moon in the 10th house synastry can be!!! Romantically, this synastry gets the rep of being cold and detached, which is true in a sense. In the beginning, expressing emotions to each other can feel uncomfortable and awkward, causing for a slow burn relationship to form. (often times it fizzles out) Once these people get over that hump and are able to trust one other to fully open up it is absolutely BEAUTIFUL. This is the house of Saturn so when feelings get involved here they rarely go away since they take so long to form. Saturn is not into the act of letting go of things at all and is often life long. If a breakup has occurred with this synastry those feelings will simmer within you forever, and its damn near impossible to forget about them. This will probably be one of those contacts that will hurt the most and you will feel for a long time.

𓆩♡𓆪 Lilith in the 7th and Pisces Venus have a tendency to choose people that they know are not good for them. For both placements, the danger of what a person could do to them is like a drug. It is not uncommon for these people to find themselves in relationship scandals and affairs. Whether they are the ones doing the cheating or the other way around, they will most likely experience both situations.

- Lilith in the 7th choose the wrong people because they are attracted to passionate toxicity.

-Pisces Venus often choose the wrong people because of an idealized version they have created or because they think they are able to fix a person. 

**if you have both of these placements, may god be with you 🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾

𓆩♡𓆪 Venus in the 3rd house synastry is most likely someone you met online, in school, close to your home or places you frequent. It will be so easy for these people to find anything in the world to talk about. They have similar interests and love the same things, although they could talk for days and not get to anything beneath the surface. They like to keep things lighthearted so if there are any issues they are experiencing with one another they tend to avoid it to not ruffle the feathers of one another and keep things peaceful, passive aggression can be a thing here. Romantically, this will be a person you will not be able to get off your mind, you will constantly be thinking of each another throughout your day. You might not even know how much this person actually thinks of you because things can come off so surface level, feelings may not be discussed.

𓆩♡𓆪 Sun/Venus is the 2nd house synastry can either boost your confidence or completely destroy it. Can also be an indicator of gold digger/sugar baby placement. The 2nd house person will be completely enamored by the sun/venus person. It will be easy for the sun/venus person to trust the 2nd house person. The 2nd house person can tend to view the sun/venus person as a object. Often wanting to spend money on them to make them happy. More so with the Venus here, the 2nd house person loves to spend money on them to make them look physically appealing. This will be the person buying you clothes, shoes, hairstyles and they even LOVE buying you food. Dinner dates are a MUST.

𓆩♡𓆪 Mars in the 2nd house synastry is ultimate marriage material. If you have this with someone its soo good for long-term partnerships. These too will not be able to keep their hands off each other, they are so sexually appealing to one another it will be so hard. The mars person will love to be the provider for the second house person. They will be the one to go out and work multiple jobs if they have to just to get the second house person everything they want, and they will love to do it. This couple will be SUPER sensual together. ⋇⊶⊰❣⊱⊷⋇ ⋇⊶⊰❣⊱⊷⋇⋇⊶⊰❣⊱⊷⋇ ⋇⊶⊰❣⊱⊷⋇⋇⊶⊰❣⊱⊷⋇ ⋇⊶⊰❣⊱⊷⋇ ♡ Thank you babes for reaching this point, love youssss♥️ If you enjoyed I would love any feedback any you have experienced any of these placements ;) I hope you like the longer, more in-depth posts. What would you guys like to see next?

[fangswbenefits]

Tiny Spider

𓂅 𓄹 Summary: Your daughter has a few questions, and you suspect Miguel might just open a portal to another dimension.

𓂅 𓄹 Pairing: Miguel O'Hara x spider-woman!reader

FLUFF. No warnings. Just ‘how are babies made’ and 'where do babies come from’ with Miguel and his daughter :)

"I can sense you, tiny spider."

Your eyes darted upwards only to find your daughter of six dangling from the celining by a single thread, wobbling slightly from side to side.

She stuck out her tongue, visibly distraught that she got caught.

"It's time to eat something. Come down now," you urged, pointing to the empty seat at the table.

As stubborn as her father, she wasn't easily convinced and merely dropped a little lower until she eye-leveled with both of you.

"I think Mayday is a terrible influence," you said. "Don't you think, Miguel?"

He was giving her the glare, but it wasn't enough. "No webs at the table."

"But, papá—”

Miguel remained unmoved. She wouldn't win this battle, but he wouldn't either unless you interveened.

"Eat your breakfast," you told her once again, sipping your herbal tea.

She was getting the hang of physics and motion, but it would take her a while to do so effortlessly and gracefully.

Swinging lightly, she managed to flip her feet down and land on the chair nearby.

Now the three of you could finally enjoy breakfast peacefully.

"Where did I come from?"

Miguel instantly frozen and you nearly dropped your cup of tea.

You offered her an understanding look, unsure of how to approach the topic. It's a topic that is bound to be brought up sooner or later, but one that both you and Miguel would rather have to touch later rather than sooner.

"What do you think?" you asked, exchanging a glance with Miguel who looked like he was one second away from imploding.

"Uncle Hobie said a big spider brought me here," she said excitedly. "That mamá and papá wanted me, so a big, big spider came here!," she gesticulated enthusiastically, arms up in the air to emphasise the proportions of said creature.

Miguel grunted and pinched the bridge of his nose. "Uncle Hobie... of course."

"Well..."

Her eyes darted from you to Miguel, waiting for confirmation.

You went first. "That's not what happened. Uncle Hobie isn't to be trusted with stuff like this, little spider."

"Or trusted at all," you heard Miguel mumble more to himself.

The thing with children is that they tend to be very expressive and transparent, so the moment you watched her smile drop, you knew something was wrong.

"You... didn't want me?" she whispered, bottom lip quivering into a pout.

"No! I mean - we did!" Miguel promptly rectified. "No big spider brought you here..." his eyes met yours seeking reassurance. "We did."

"That's it?" she asked, resring her elbows on the table and placing her jaw on both palms of her hands.

She looked... unimpressed.

Miguel nodded, chopping an apple into slices with one of his talons so she could have a bite.

"Pffff," she groaned. "Boring!"

Miguel O'hara wasn't one to be left speechless very often, so you figured this had definitely caught him off guard.

"Sometimes the truth can be boring," you said with a chuckle. "But we both really wanted you and that's what matters."

Your daughter didn't seem to care much about that and, in that moment, the flash of defiance and arms crossed in front of her chest reminded you of Miguel.

"So how did you bring me here?"

"Huh..."

Miguel glanced out the window as he cleared his throat.

Did he expect you to tackle this by yourself? He should have known better.

"Your father will be more than glad to explain," you said, leaning back in your seat, earning a death glare from him.

She was growing impatient by the second, eyes fixed on him as if awaiting a bedtime story.

"Go on, Miguel," you teased with a devious smile.

"Tell me, papá!" she suddenly banged both hands on the table. "I want to know!"

Miguel frowned. Deeply. If looks could kill, you reckoned you'd be six feet under by now.

But he wasn't getting off the hook easily.

"When two people like each other very much... that can happen," he said, not bothering with details.

"But how? How?" she was bouncing in her seat at this point.

You gave him an encouraging smile.

He sighed in defeat. "Hmm... I placed a tiny seed inside your mother one day," his voice was gentle and he seemed more confident now. "You grew and grew and, many months later, you were here with us."

It was an easy enough explanation.

But...

"Inside mama?"

"Yes. Like an egg," he said warmly, wrapping his large hand around her tiny one.

"A chicken egg?" she gasped, turning to you and you immediately noticed a front tooth missing already. Kids. "But... I'm not a chicken."

Her genuine innocence was so endearing that you couldn't hold back a chuckle. "Miguel..."

"Maybe I should have said spider egg?"

"Woah! Now that's cool!" she beamed and her eyes widened like a kid who had just been told they could have unlimited supply of candy. "So I'm really a spider!"

"A tiny spider, yes," he said with a faint smile.

Warmth filled your insides at once. Miguel was always meant to be a father. He was just a natural when it came to children.

He suddenly shot a single string of red web to land on the chair where your daughter sat, sliding it closer to him. She burst into laughter from the motion before putting on a forced serious face.

"No webs at the table!" she tried to mimic his tone, her index finger in front of her face.

He planted a soft kiss on it before bringing her into a tight embrance.

"No more hanging around Uncle Hobie unsupervised," he whispered into her ear.

Masterlist

[heartsteel-heartbeats]

Heartsteel Kayn relationship HCs!

No warnings for this one, you may proceed.

(( Psst! Hey! It’s not explicitly listed that you are also a performer, but you are free to assume that! I like leaving stuff open for ya. Also I may have gone a bit overboard… Sorry! )) ~ OBBY 💗

Before Heartsteel

You’ve been with him before he was kicked out of his old band (maybe even well before he started his music career), so of course, Rhaast was no secret to you. He never was, really. You actually liked Rhaast and loved seeing him just go crazy and do what he wanted without much of a care of the consequences. Kayn figured this is why he was initially drawn to you, because you accepted this part of him.

His band was pretty much the opposite. They held him back extensively because of Rhaast. The situation itself and seeing him lash out time to time made you worried on how much more he could stand being with that group. Some days, you just let him rant to you. You don’t know much on the other members in general besides their names and their roles in the band, but seeing him so frustrated because of them felt like maybe it’s best if you didn’t.

When Kayn did get kicked out, you let him stay around for a bit. A bit eventually became a while. Totally weren’t preparing for this, you made sure there was plenty of room for him. An artist needs his own space after all, though he didn’t exactly pick up his guitar for some time.

It’s been rough for Kayn for a while. He was getting easily irritated over the smallest things and seemed to often get into fights online. You’ve had to keep him off social media more than once before he really made things worse for himself. His reputation has taken quite a hit when he was kicked out, so this was for the best if it means he doesn’t damage further by doing something stupid.

Rhaast, on the other hand, was a bit harder. Rhaast liked to leave a mark, mostly in a physical sense. There were times where you had to stop him from actually getting into serious trouble. It was hard to talk him out of it and sometimes you had to keep him from walking out that door. Doing such a thing did make you feel bad since you’re holding him back almost like his old band did with him, so there were times where you hesitated. Don’t get him wrong though, he knows you’re just worried about his wellbeing.

When he finally did pick up his guitar again, the songs he made were quite clearly targeted towards his old band. Rhaast was going all out and you encouraged that. Of course, these songs never went public for obvious reasons (though Rhaast almost argued with you to upload them somewhere). Hearing songs like these from him were really the one and only times where you can hear just how truly angry he was. Still, you were glad he was letting it out in a way that felt natural to him. Artists letting out their frustrations through songs weren’t uncommon, and most of the ones out there needed to have their listeners read between the lines to understand and see the artist. But you? You didn’t have to. It was all right there in front of you.

Approaching Kayn on the topic itself is rather difficult as he tends to get defensive and dismissive over it, so really, the best you could do was get his mind off of it for a little while. Anything works as long as he was doing something, anything. It didn’t matter what it was.

It’d take quite some time for him to actually come to you for comfort on the matter. When he does though, it was a huge weight off of both of your shoulders. It basically just happened one night, and it was one of those nights for him where his thoughts were keeping him awake. He can’t sleep, you can’t sleep either, so you two just kind of talked for a bit to tire each other out. Eventually, the topic shifts and you can feel his hold on you tighten ever so slightly.

Kayn almost never showed a vulnerable side of him, especially around you. He had his own reasons for that. On the rare occasion that he does, know that it means he trusts you more than anything.

He is happy that you stayed and helped him as long as you did (both being his muse and just supporting him). He makes you aware of it during that night and he does continue to show his appreciation in his own way, whether it’s simply some quality time or even writing a song for you.

Things did eventually calm down and Kayn was beginning to just enjoy doing what he wanted to do again just for the fun of it rather than out of spite. As long as he’s happier now. There’s nothing else to say about his old band.

General stuff between you two

Teasing. So much teasing… He loves your flustered and/or slightly annoyed look when he does it. He finds it adorable.

Kayn can drive but for the love of god never actually let him drive. The chances of getting pulled over and arrested for reckless driving is really high up there. Just let him be in charge of the music, he’ll at least he satisfied with that.

You two still text each other on Discord even if you’re in the same room. He just likes hearing you laugh over what he sends. This does include videos he finds online that he thinks (knows) you’ll laugh to.

Matching hair color! It’s fun, a pain in the ass to get done, but fun. There was a bit of a mess in the bathroom though, and that wasn’t fun to clean.

“Hah! It looks like a murder took place in here!” “I murdered your hair, that’s for sure.” “What?! Are you kidding me? This isn’t the first time you did my hair! It’s perfect!” “Well yeah, but your long hair is gone… I really loved your long hair…” “I mean- It’ll grow back eventually.”

Lunch and dinner sometimes include ordering some food and having it delivered, then eating it in your shared room. Is it healthy food? No, but hey, at least you’re both eating food. If it wasn’t that, then one of you was cooking. Kayn’s cooking is not that bad, but it could be better. Don’t say that though.

Doing each other’s makeup. Although, it started with you wanting to do his and him saying he’ll let you do it if you let him do yours. Now it’s routine.

Playing with his hair. Loves it when you do it. Just him laying his head beside you, or on your chest, with your hands running through his hair. It calms him down and makes him sleepy sometimes. He’ll deny it though.

“Sleepy?” “No.” *literally about to fall asleep* “Sureee.” “Shut up.”

Though there are some nights where one of you can’t fall asleep no matter what you do. Whether it’s insomnia or the other just won’t shut the fuck up (Kayn), at least one of you is still awake. If you feel someone brushing your hair in the middle of the night and giving small pecks, it’s totally not Kayn.

Heartsteel

When Heartsteel found one of his songs and sent him a message, you were okay with him eventually moving in with the group. Kayn has been talking about them for some time, and you think this might be good for him. From what he’s been telling you, these people accept Rhaast. Totally not the one reason why you were okay with it in the first place.

He often texts you about what’s going on and teases you by asking if you miss him. Say no. :) Sometimes complains to you about Yone, but it’s just him being assigned a chore (dish duty).

It does get a bit lonely sometimes now, but he’s happy to be around a group of people that doesn’t push Rhaast away so it doesn’t bother you. Kayn does make up for it by calling you and sometimes dropping by. The second one isn’t often though. Again, gotta keep fans and paparazzi from finding out about your relationship. Although speaking of calls, there were times where you two fell asleep while on call. It usually ends with one of your phones running out of battery.

The group seems to know about you. Yone and Sett has heard of you once or twice, but K’Sante is the one that knows about you the most. According to K’Sante, Kayn talks about you a lot. Ezreal only knows about you cause he got a peak at his phone and saw your name thanks to one of your over night phone calls and he won’t stop asking Kayn about you.

“Dude who’s [name]??? Is that who you’re always talking to all night?” “The hell are you looking in my phone for??!”

Ahem… Kayn did get some relationship advice from K’Sante. Honestly this is exactly why he knows a lot about you from him.

Aphelios only knows about you because of Sett, who then tells Alune.

Kayn tried to keep the music video of Paranoia on the down low so it could surprise you, but he needed to tell you about the dog the moment they picked him up. With that aside, seeing the music video definitely put a smile on your face. He looked like he was having a lot of fun with the new band (you totally saw the Discord calls Aphelios leaked).

[meyobe]

Pretty privilege…. No MC privilege pt.2

Satan

Mc can always expect him to take their side no matter what.

Mc was the first person to see past his angry and treat him like a person.

He is forever imbedded to them.

No matter how criminal the crime.

Mc was the one to start a fight? Well why was the other person fighting back?

Mc broke an expensive vase? If it’s so expensive why it is out, where anyone can reach it?

Mc started a fire in the kitchen? Devildom ingredients can be dangerous for human use-age.

He will most likely find a way to flip Mc problem on the person who accused them.

He his mind you do no wrong.

But not to be mistaken, he knows Mc is reckless but guidance is key! (He thinks)

Asmo

He will put Mc comfort over his.

He’s spent millennials admiring himself and put himself over other by default.

Mc showed him that his soul is more blinding then any gold or highlighter he puts on.

Mc has showed him a new way of viewing life.

Mc looks uncomfortable sitting on the floor during movie night? Just take his seat… matter a fact his kicking his brother off so you can have space.

Mc is tired of wearing their heels? He’ll switch shoes with you.

Mc is carrying a lot of bags that look heavy? He’ll carry them himself no matter how ugly he thinks it is.

He is letting go of his persona of being perfect because Mc taught him your flaws make you unique.

Buttt old habits die hard but Mc just has to look at him and he knows to settle down.

Beel

Mc can use him as a stress reliever( not that way ^_^)

He is the strongest brother( without and magic or demon forms) he works out and knows it can take stress away.

Mc showed him it’s not enough to be strong physically, but mentally.

Mc and beel are two side of the same coin.

He never wants Mc to hold what their really thinking or feeling back.

Mc’s had a really bad day? Are we going to the gym or on a run?

Mc is refaced with a bad memory? Does Mc need to yell he will listen? Or does Mc want to punch someone or something? He is right there.

Mc feels the need to let out some energy? Does Mc want to practice with him and his team?

He knows that sometimes people need to get violent to relive their stress.

Nothing that Mc May do can hurt him. So go crazy >_<

He thinks Mc is the strongest person he will ever meet.

He strive to be just like them.

Belphie

Mc can expect him to make an effort.

He’s had lots of time to dwell on his past mistakes and understand where he went wrong.

He will spend an eternity trying to make things right.

He wants Mc to know he’s trying his hardest for them.

He’s trying to living up to the honor them Mc gives him.

Mc has been feeling stressed? Flowers and a gift basket are at their door with a note that has the letter “B” on it.

Mc has to go to a meeting but also need to do my chores? He’ll make sure they’re done before Mc is back.

Mc and Belphie got Into a fight? He’s still texting them “ Goodnight, I love you “ because he knows how easily you can be taken away.

All his life his been deemed lazy or useless. It never bother him until Mc.

He is becoming the best version of hisself because he wants to be the demon whose worthy of a pact with Mc.

A/n/: should I write this for the dateables?!?!

I should also mention that I love writing so feel free to request!!

A new post about volleyball will be up soon!

Ty all!❤️

Pt.3 is up!!

[penkura]

only if you want to queen but i can’t stop thinking about how this conversation went😭😭

Queen?? I do not deserve that title omg.

BUT anyway, I've been thinking about this, and I've finally figured how I think it would happen and how Zoro and Reader would have their twin boys. 💚

Added a little extra for their older two being excited for their new little siblings and getting to meet them. :)

Having kids wasn’t originally in Zoro’s life plans, but when Keitaro and Kuina come along one after the other in about three years, how much joy and happiness they’ve brought, he's not sure he could imagine your lives without them now. They were more than anything he could’ve ever asked for, and watching them grow up, watching you be a mother to them, he thinks this is the only way things could’ve turned out.

There’s been nothing better lately than watching the two learn more about their world, seeing how you comfort them when they get upset or need help understanding something. When Keitaro comes to him begging to start practicing with swords or Kuina holds onto him tightly after a nightmare, the moments where your family of four is able to relax and enjoy your evenings have become his favorite part of the day. It’s more than Zoro ever expected after you’d first told him you were pregnant with Keitaro, and then Kuina, but none of it has been unwelcome.

Sometimes Zoro thinks about you two having just one more child, it feels like something, someone is missing if he starts to dwell on it too long. It’s weird, he knows that when he starts to think about it, but he can’t help it when he sees you playing with or holding someone else’s baby. With Sanji’s newest child you’ve been welcoming his older three over every day to play with Keitaro and Kuina so they have some time with their friends, not having to worry about or hear the newest baby crying. While five kids at once was a lot to take care of, you did so well at it. You wore them out with games and playing outside, Sanji was thankful for that when he’d come to collect his children and they all wanted to go home and sleep, your two kids already asleep on the floor beside each other. Even just watching or helping you tuck them in at night made Zoro think more about another child, he doesn’t understand why honestly.

It takes him some time before he can even admit to himself that he wants another child,  before he even dares to bring it up eventually. Zoro spends some time watching you with other babies and how easily you’re able to calm to them down if they cry, trying to gage if you might want another one yourself. Since you’re the one who would once again be carrying the baby, he wants to make sure you’re okay with it. Make sure you want just one more to make your family complete.

When he finally brings it up, you’re surprised by it.

“You…want another baby?”

Zoro nods, causing you to sit up beside him in bed, while he barely looks at you. Honestly you believed he’d never want to have another child. You’d had Keitaro and Kuina so close together, that any thoughts of another one were out of your mind until recently, you figured there was no way Zoro would go for it if you suggested having another one. But it looks like you were wrong.

“I don’t know, it just,” he shrugs a but, sighing as he tries to get his thoughts in order, “I’ve just watched you lately with Sanji’s kids, and seeing how big Keitaro and Kuina have gotten. Weirdly enough I kind of miss when they were little, you know?”

“I do actually,” Laughing, you lean against Zoro’s arm and take his hand in yours, “I miss when they would just want to be held all the time, even with the crying and diapers…and it’s fun to watch them grow up…”

“Keitaro’s going to start sword training soon, and I know Kuina will want to join in…but it feels like they’re growing up too fast.”

“It really does…”

“…and like something is missing.”

“You’ve felt it too?”

Zoro nods again, before leaning back with you still holding onto him. You’re both quiet for a few minutes, lost in thought, before you finally smile with a nod of your own.

“All right then, it’s settled.”

“…what is?”

“Let’s have another baby!”

+!+

You said a baby, not twins, but that’s what you have about a year later. Two little boys that come into the world crying their lungs out, before they’re passed to you and Zoro, your newest additions slowly calming down to small cries and whines. You’re quick to tell Zoro no more since you ended up with twins this time, and he has no problems with that.

You’ve given him far more than he ever could have asked for, he’s not going to ask you to go through this again, he swears.

Keitaro and Kuina don’t meet their new brothers until the next day, giving you and the twins some time to rest. You’re still sleeping when they finally get to come home from staying at Sanji’s the day before, but Zoro takes care of introducing the four to each other, your older two in awe at the fact they have twin brothers now.

“Mama said it was one baby.” Keitaro can’t believe he has two brothers now, on top of a sister, but he’s not exactly mad about it.

“We didn’t know until yesterday, buddy.”

“I wanted a sister…” Kuina pouts a bit, but it slowly fades into a smile when the younger of your twins grabs onto her finger when she pokes at his hand.

“Sorry, princess,” Zoro smiles too, watching as she starts to accept having two little brothers a little bit at a time, “Mama said no more babies, so looks like you’re our only girl.”

“Mmm…that’s okay then,” She nods, Keitaro doing the same as they both take everything in, “I’ll help Mama take care of them!”

“I will too! …when I’m not practicing…”

“Good, I’m sure Mama will like that.”

You don’t make it known that you’re awake ans listening to your family, but it does make you smile to yourself. Everything feels perfect now, there’s no longer any feelings that someone is missing from your lives, not with your twin boys. One more than you expected, but it works all the same.

Now you just need to figure out names for them.

[grapejuicebrat]

because i liked a boy

PAIRING: dark!rafe cameron x reader

SUMMARY: you thought dating rafe was hard. but breaking up was much worse.

WARNINGS: language, death treats, angst, abusive relationship, happy or not happy ending is up to you.

WORD COUNT: 1176

my masterlist

breaking up with rafe was hard. first of all because it was your idea. you wanted to move on. rafe was happy just where he was. you wanna know what it was? somewhere in the middle of your relationship, when his true colours started to show and hurt, you fell out of love with him and started creating this sort of fantasy in your mind of who you hoped he would eventually become for you and fell in love with that. needless to say, you learned the hard way that people don't become who you want them to, if that's not who they want to be. that’s why you were with rafe for more than 3 years. you wanted to believe that he would change for you but in fact he changed you.

in the beginning of your relationship it was all so innocent. rafe gave you all his attention, every evening you went out on some fancy dinner. daily calls and texts - everything felt like some sort of fairytale. you felt like a princess. you were finally in healthy relationship.

tanneyhill was your second home. you stayed here for a night more often than at your own house but your parents were okay with that. you were safe with your boyfriend, so everything was alright.

you knew from the beginning that rafe uses coke. but again, you closed your eyes and pretended that everything is okay. rafe knows what he is doing. he is older, he is smarter. he makes money so you can relax and don’t have to think about anything. it didn’t effect your relationship, rafe knew how to combine his business and private life. at first that’s how it was.

and than everything changed. step by step. slowly. so you didn’t notice at first.

sometimes he would shout at you. and than rafe would come to you and hug you tightly. he would say that he is sorry and it’s just emotions. of course you forgave me. you believed him. you loved him.

than he wouldn’t even tell you that he is sorry. he shouts at you even when you’re not guilty, but it’s okay. he is just a human who has emotions. you would be okay with that. you would just go to your room or if rafe tells you to leave you just silently leave. and than come back if rafe says so.

two weeks later and you have a bruise on your neck. of course it wasn’t okay but every time you tried to find some shitty excuse like work is stressing him or it was your fault.

of course you understand that it is not okay. and you need to do something about that. you wrote some notes, mentally preparing for some conversation with rafe. you wanted this relationship to work. because you loved rafe and he loved you. maybe. the thing is every time he came home, you were afraid to tell him something, he wouldn’t be happy with. you didn’t know what is coming next.

rafe could easily call you a slut or would tell you that he wanted to fuck another girl but remembered that you’re waiting for him at home. so you need to be thankful for him keeping his dick in his pants. and you know what’s funny? you thanked him for this.

love made you blind. you were thankful for him just coming home. and you were thankful for him not fucking another girl.

you had to get over the fact that you would probably never get an apology from him because in his twisted mind... he'd done absolutely nothing wrong.

you kept running back into his arms because you're settling for what's familiar. you kept holding on, hoping that there's still something there. you missed him because he's all that you know. he's all you're used to... but he's also the reason you kept putting your life on hold. have you ever thought that maybe if you actually let him go, you would finally be able to breathe again?

rafe was asleep and you were crying by his side. part of you wanted him to hear your cries and he would wake up. he would hug you and tell you that everything will be alright. other part wanted to just disappear. you wanted to be all by yourself without those arguments, without those problems.

maybe you are his favorite. so he says. but how many times has he made you feel alone. how many times has he filled your heart with anger and sorrow. how many times have you felt the bitterness. the emptiness. the endless void that leads to nowhere.

the truth is. he is a broken man. and honestly, you're not meant to fix him. you’re not meant to save him. change him or even force him to get his shit together. no. if he doesn't want those things for himself to begin with, then why should you exhaust yourself trying to help him. you can't make someone care. you’re not his mother. and your love is not meant to be drained by redirecting careless grown men towards their glory. you’re better than that. you have your own problems to deal with. and honestly, you have better shit to do.

that’s what you were thinking about months later. that’s what you were thinking about when you were breaking up with rafe. because if you don’t do that now it will be harder to do this later. maybe even unreal.

“rafe, we’re over”

back to these days, if you knew everything will be like this, you would never break up with rafe. never.

dating him was bad, but break up was worse. rafe always kept an eye on you. not in a sweet way, course no. in a creepy way, like joe goldberg and i mean it. every guy who you ever talked to was missing now. you never met them twice. all because rafe saw them as a danger.

in the beginning he sent you flowers. beautiful, bigger than your whole body bouquets. rafe would go to your house and beg on his knees so you come back to him. of course you wanted to give in and give him a second chance. but in fact you gave him so many chances during your relationship so it wouldn’t be even close to a second chance.

a week later you would receive texts with death threats and something about you being a fucking pussy. you understood that he won’t change. never. rafe would pretend that he is getting better but in fact he’ll be the same old rafe. toxic, dark, manipulative. this relationship would never work.

by now you’re sure you two just weren’t meant to be.

you: I stayed with you for so long throughout the bullshit because I was torn between not giving up on the person that I loved, and coming to terms with fact that the person that I loved no longer existed inside of the body that I was staring at every day; and I don't give a fuck what anyone says... that's a really difficult and painful thing to wrap your brain around. It takes a while to believe it.

rafe: fuck you. you’re just a fucking pussy. can’t even admit that you never loved me.

and he has no idea how wrong he is. you were ready to break yourself for him. that’s how much you loved this man.

if you would like to be added to my taglist leave a comment or let me know by sending me in my ask!

[racinggirl]

promise

Lando Norris Fic - requested

My inbox for requests

a/n: Oh my godness I'm back y'all! It's been so long! It's the first request of hopefully many to come. So far my inbox is empty again, so don't hold back to send in some requests, one, or more. You can even send some anonymously! I hope you will like this story, and keep reading to find some little extra's I added, because I loved making AU's as well. Let me know your thoughts, tips, tops, anything really. It keeps me motivated to write more, so any form of feedback is very welcomed! Now, sit back, relax, and enjoy this fic 🧡

‘’Promise.’’ You linked your pinkie finger with the 5-year-old curly haired boy, giggling as the both of you were running around the playground, hiding from his mother.

‘’Come on, I’m nearly 25 already! I can easily go on vacation on my own!’’ You had always wanted to go on a road trip, preferably with a partner on your side, but that hadn’t been the case yet. So, you decided to go alone, because why not? You were old enough to look out for yourself, even though your parents weren’t too keen on the idea of their daughter traveling around Europe on her own.

‘’The world has changed, Y/N, it’s not safe to go on your own.’’

‘’But-…’’

‘’No, you’re not going on your own, end of story.’’

You groaned at your parents’ reaction and went to your room, frustrated, upset, but somehow you got their point. They weren’t wrong, the world had changed, and wasn’t that innocent anymore. Wherever you were watching the news, reports about murder, drunken drivers, kidnappers, it was all out there.

‘There’re more crazy people out in the world than there are behind bars’ was something your father would say, and he wasn’t wrong.

However, you wished you would have been able to do what that curly haired boy did. Sometimes you were jealous of him, jealous of how he travelled all around the world, going from one country to another, flying from Finland to Australia to Bali and back to his new home, Monaco.

Him and you met when you were karting in Bristol, the both of you loving the sport more than ever. However, karting wasn’t a girl’s sport, at least not to the world at that age. That’s why you moved on from it, where he pursued his dream career, you were only there to cheer from the side lines.

You hated learning, studying, it’s something you never were good at, or at least, not in school. Whenever you saw the data on the karting track, you’d spent hours trying to understand every piece of data that was coming through.

You begged your parents to let you go to engineering school, university. They didn’t want you to, it wasn’t a ‘girl’s thing’ to do, but after you refused to do anything else, they eventually agreed on letting you go to engineering school.

4 years later, and you had your engineering degree. You couldn’t be happier, because right now it meant you might do something you’d actually enjoy. Even if it wasn’t a ‘girl’s thing’ to do, you loved it.

‘’Hey’’ you smiled as you brought the phone close to your ear, lying in bed as you checked the time.

‘’Hey, did you see?’’

‘’Oh yeah, I did.’’ You laughed, looking up at the ceiling. ‘’You were flying! Pole position baby!’’ You giggled, smiling even harder when you heard him on the other side, repeating the final three words of your sentence.

‘’You still have to come for a race someday, you know?’’ His deep voice was ringing through your ears, and it immediately made your chest feel warm, it always did, he always did.

‘’Mhm.. I know, and I will, when my parents finally let me.’’ You sighed, playing with the ropes of your hoodie.

‘’You’re almost 25, when will they ever let you do your own things?’’

‘’I don’t know,’’ you sighed heavily, ‘’when I’m 40?’’

The sound of his laugh made you sit up straight, your cheeks turning a light shade of pink as you heard his laughter.

‘’Nah, I’ll have you kidnapped by then.’’ He smiled, causing you to giggle next. ‘’They’ll destroy you when you do that.’’

‘’Good thing I have my bodyguards, then.’’ And that made your heart feel a thousand times warmer. He was never one to brag about his success, never. He always was very modest, very gentle, and never liked it whenever people talked about the amount of money he had, or how famous he was. That’s why you clicked so good. You knew each other from when you were 3 years old, and he knew you liked him as a friend, and not because he was a driver.

‘’I asked them if I could go on a road trip, alone.’’ You quietly said, hearing how he fumbled around on the other side of the line. A soft ‘hold on, I’m busy’ made you smile, knowing he told whoever was there to wait, because he was talking to you.

‘’And let me guess, they wouldn’t let you go alone because the world is dangerous.’’

‘’Yep, exactly.’’ You sighed but sat up straight when you heard him gasp.

‘’Lando, what did you do?’’

‘’Nothing.’’

‘’What are you thinking?’’

Silence…

‘’Lando?’’

‘’Come with me.’’ You could hear his grin through the phone, and he could hear your brains working overtime because he immediately started to explain himself. ‘’You won’t be alone, you’ll be with me, my team, my crew.’’ He said. ‘’You can travel the world with me, I might even be able to work around some things here to have you here for some sort of internship, so you won’t have any expenses, and you’ll be able to come to the races with me. Your parents know me, I’m not a stranger.’’

You wanted to say yes, you wanted to give in because honestly, it was a great idea.

‘’But, and these aren’t my worlds, but you’re famous, Lando, and you-…’’

‘’I’m still the same Lando from 20 years ago.’’

‘’I know, I know that, but my parents don’t, you know how they are…’’

You hated the fact you just basically told him you couldn’t go with him because he was famous, and you hated that word as much as he did. Your parents were always so fond of him, they loved him, but they also always made sure to tell you that he had a lot of money, was very well known around the world and that most famous people weren’t the same people they were before they had the money. They’d say that the fame got to their heads, but it wasn’t the same with Lando. He had always been that giggly, funny, sweet, and caring boy, but simply because he wasn’t around during Christmas dinners, or the traditional ‘start of spring’ picnic, they assumed he felt too good for those kinds of things. You explained to them that he was just busy, that because of his job, the start of spring was in the middle of the start of the season, and that he simply couldn’t make it. But they were your parents, stubborn as always.

‘’Y/N?’’

‘’Hmm, sorry, what?’’ You said, hearing him chuckle on the other side of the phone.

‘’Let me talk to them, okay? Let me try to convince them, because honestly, you wouldn’t be the only one to benefit from that decision.’’ He whispered, causing your cheeks to heat up again.

‘’Okay.’’

‘’Lando?’’ Your parents were surprised to see him at your front step. He promised you he’d come to talk to your parents, and he always keeps his promises.

‘’Y/F/N, Y/M/N, it’s been a while, it’s good to see you again.’’ He was always very polite. Calling your parents by their first name was something you always did; you did the same with Adam and Cisca.

It was a good conversation, you occasionally tried to mix yourself into it. A reassuring smile from the curly haired boy made you confident enough to speak up to your parents, and this time, with success, because only a few weeks after your conversation you were packing your clothes.

One year. For one year you’d join Lando with his journey around the world. You had no idea how he did it, and especially this fast, but he had managed to give you an internship position at McLaren, meaning you could come along to the races, the dream scenario for every Lando-girl out there.

‘’You’re the best, you know?’’ You laughed, placing your phone on the bed as you zipped up your suitcases. Instead of living here in London with your parents for a year, you and him both decided it would be the best if you would live in his apartment near Woking. It was still close to home, and to the factory.

He was the best one could imagine, and you knew he was, because he was always there, and he always kept his promises.

You put your phone away and collected the things you had to before ordering a taxi to head straight to the airport. You had been living in his apartment for almost 2 weeks now, and things were good, they were great. He occasionally came to Woking for work, but also to spend time with you. You were best friends ever since, and nothing could ever change that.

The moment you arrived on the airport you felt it again. Those feelings you have been trying to ignore the moment they appeared again, the moment your brain wandered off and thought of him. He always made you feel that way, but you ignored it, always. It might sound cliché, and you hated thinking about it because in every romance book it got romanticized. Having feelings for your best friend never worked out great, except in those books.

But reality is, you’re not living in a book, you’re living in the real world, and it was dangerous. Feelings weren’t mutual all the time, and you didn’t want to find out if it was the case this time because you didn’t want to get your heart broken, so being friends made you be close, feel good without the heartbreak ending it.

It went quick, you got in the jet and 1 hour and a few minutes later you were already back on the ground. He was right, it was faster. Of course he was right, he always was, and that made you fall for him even more, how silly it may sound.

He had texted you, saying he was waiting in his car because of the fans wandering at the airport. Someone spotted his car on the way here, and the FBI agents they are, they immediately put one and one together. He was picking up someone, or his girlfriend, something most fans would say.

‘’Hey.’’ You smiled as you embraced him in a tight hug, he smelled good, he always did. A mix of Dior Sauvage and his own scent made you inhale his scent deeply. It felt like home. You explained him that mixing 3 very expensive perfumes wasn’t making him smell 3 times better, he used to mix most of his perfumes until you made that comment. He asked which one you liked the most, and ever since you mentioned Sauvage all he wore was that. But you never noticed the reason was because you mentioned it, you always thought he simply liked that fragrance the most.

‘’Hey, how was the flight?’’ He opened your car door after helping you put the suitcase in his trunk, the real gentleman he was, and hopped in the driver’s seat.

‘’Amazing, the most relaxing flight I’ve ever had.’’ You sighed, putting on your seatbelt before looking over at him, how he started the car and drove out of the parking garage.

You talked more, about the flight, about how things were at the apartment, his apartment here in Monaco, you even talked about your plans these next upcoming days.

‘’We’ll go to London tomorrow.’’ He whispered. The both of you were laying on his couch in his apartment here in Monaco. Instead of watching TV, you had moved the couch so you both could see the harbour, and the sun setting in the ocean.

The couple of weeks you had been here were the best you ever experienced. You did many things, from shopping to karting in Italy, a day at the beach in France, simracing and even streaming. You made chat very clear you were best friends and nothing more, but when people in chat started to ask about his feelings, and about yours, he told you, quietly, to not answer and ignore them, whatever that might have meant.

‘’Really?’’ Your smile grew wider when he mentioned that. It would be your birthday in 2 days, and you always spent your birthday at home, with your family and friends. Last year he couldn’t make it, as the season started the day your birthday was, but this year he made his way around it. Your birthday was on Tuesday, so Wednesday you’d both fly with his jet to Bahrein for the first race of the year.

‘’Mhm, I wouldn’t want to break your birthday tradition.’’ He smiled, his lips placing a tender kiss on your temple. You were lying when you said your feelings towards him hadn’t grown these couple of weeks with him in Monaco. Everything he did gave you tinglings in your stomach and you couldn’t help ignoring them anymore. You surrendered to the fact you had a crush on him, you liked your best friend, and it was the best feeling ever.

‘’Happy Birthday!’’ Your parents were waiting in the living room when you entered the house. They decorated the entire room with balloons, garlands, and pictures from your first till your 24th birthday.

‘’Smile!’’ They held the camera out in front of you, and you immediately felt an arm wrapped around your shoulder. This caused your smile to grow even wider.

‘’Happy Birthday, beautiful.’’ He whispered in your ear, pressing a kiss to your temple as his scent immediately went through your nose.

‘’Thank you…’’ You whispered, looking into his bright eyes and immediately looking down after, trying to hide the fact you were blushing because of his actions.

Later that evening, after you spent time with your family and friends, you and Lando went back to his apartment. You got many gifts, and you couldn’t be happier about this day.

‘’How was your day?’’ You felt the vibrations of his deep voice going through your entire body, leaning against him as you were seated on the couch of his apartment.

‘’Amazing.’’ You smiled. ‘’Couldn’t be better.’’

‘’Oh, but I think it can.’’ He reached for something in his bag, and once he got the box, he handed it to you. ‘’Happy Birthday, beautiful.’’ He whispered again, watching how you opened the box slowly.

You pulled the black coloured leash that was hanging from the side of the box and gently placed it on the table in front of you. You lifted the lid and grabbed the small bag inside of the box.

‘’Lando.’’ You gasped, touching the velvet bag and opening it slowly. Tears were burning in your eyes at this point, because you realised he made all this effort to get the perfect gift for you. And he succeeded because it was more than perfect.

‘’This is way too crazy.’’ You whispered, feeling how he moved your hair to the side, helping you clipping the silver Swarovski necklace around your neck.

‘’Look inside.’’ He said, tucking some hair away from your face with his fingers, causing your nervousness to grow even more.

You opened the necklace and smiled when you saw the picture inside. It immediately gave you flashbacks, because even though you were only 4 and 5 years old, it was the brightest memory you had from the two of you.

FLASHBACK

‘’Dating is stupid! Kissing is stupid!’’ You laughed when you were seated on the swing, holding tightly when Lando pushed you carefully.

‘’I know! My mommy and daddy kiss when daddy comes home from work and it’s so weird!’’ He laughed, making sure you wouldn’t fall from the swing.

‘’Lando! Y/N! Come on, it’s time to go home!’’ You heard Cisca calling for the both of you, and you jumped off the swing immediately.

‘’Come on, run!’’ He held your hand and while the both of you laughed, you ran to the playground, hiding from Lando’s mom. ‘’Shhh..’’

You stayed there for almost 5 minutes, which seemed like an eternity when you’re just 4 years old. ‘’I have an idea.’’ The curly haired boy smiled and held your hand tightly.

‘’Okay, tell me!’’ You giggled.

‘’When we’re both 25 and we’re still single, I’ll ask you to marry me.’’ He smiled, causing you to giggle and laugh, him doing the same. ‘’Okay!’’

‘’Lando! Y/N, come on we have to go, it’s getting dark!’’ You ran away again, running around the playground as you linked your pinkie finger with him. ‘’Promise’’.

END OF FLASHBACK

After he clipped the necklace around your neck, he took a hold of your hand and grabbed the second box in his bag. He kneeled in front of you, a smile on his lips as he opened the box with one hand.

‘’Marry me.’’ He whispered. ‘’Not now, don’t worry. But one day. You know I am a man of my word, and I still remember that day so well.’’ He smiled, looking at your necklace and then back into your eyes. He always maintained eye contact with you, and it made you feel safe and secure, because you know you can trust those eyes.

‘’I’ve been counting the days till your birthday, knowing that the day you turned 25, I was able to ask this question. I’m lying when I say I was hoping you wouldn’t find someone to be by your side, because, and maybe I’m being selfish, but I want to be that man. It’s too fast to immediately ask you to marry me, because I can’t force you to say yes, but God… Y/N. See this as a promise ring. See this as a promise ring that we’ll be together, that I’ll be the man in your life that makes you the happiest you’ll ever be.’’

Tears were streaming down your face as you listened to every word he said. Every word chosen so carefully yet so chaotically, because this is the moment you knew you weren’t the only one feeling this intense love for him. He felt it for you, too.

You answered him by cupping his cheeks with your hands and doing the one thing you have been dreaming of doing for almost 22 years. You kissed him, his lips moving on yours almost instantly caused you to smile against his lips, him following your movements. This kiss was something else, something that made all the butterflies in your stomach explode with fireworks, like they were all holding a fairy light and lighting them all at the same time.

‘’I love you, Lando, I always have, and I’m so glad I can finally say it out loud now.’’ You giggled, feeling his hand reaching for yours and the ring slipped around your finger so effortlessly.

‘’I love you too, and I promise I’ll get you a proper engagement ring.’’ He whispered before pressing his lips on yours again, firmly, full of love.

2 years later

[zoe-oneesama]

Not to say either of them is right here, but what's wrong with the ice cream guy? I haven't kept up with the show proper in several seasons, so I'm probably very out of touch.

He is The Villain of ML in my heart.

His magic ice cream is wildly inconsistent. It's Soulmate Ice Cream! Except when it's Just Friend Ice Cream! Well, until he ONLY gives ice cream to lovers, NOT good friends who have fun together! But sometimes he gives ice cream to couples that DO break up! What are the rules? WHO CARES, CERTAINLY NOT ANDRE! I can't even put stock in his ability ACTUALLY being magic when it's constantly contradicting itself. I'm pretty sure he's just convinced himself that he has magic when he doesn't and his ego is easily bruised if anything pulls him out of his fantasy.

Plus he inexplicably always blames Marinette every time he's akumatized, no matter how far he has to stretch to do so. Once when she didn't even interact with him directly!

The first time because she went home without eating his "Soulmate Ice Cream(tm)" by herself as a 5th wheel. Because, what, her leaving meant his ice cream "failed"? Wasn't the point that two people are supposed to share the ice cream for the magic to work? But because she was like "no thanks", he swears revenge on her???

The second time because he was so invested in shipping two strangers that he got mad at Marinette for...being seen in public with one leg of the ship? After Ladybug had made it perfectly clear that she and Chat Noir were NOT a couple and so Chat Noir has the right to have fun with whoever he wants to???? Because "my ice cream is never wrong"?!?!

It didn't seem to work out for Lukanette or Adrigami so I don't know where you get the gall to even continue to make that bullshit claim, but OKAY.

And the third time, HE had the audacity to blame HER for making him "lose faith in ice cream and love" when he REFUSED TO SERVE HER! He flat out denied her and Chat Noir ice cream because he doesn't make "good friend" ice cream despite them BEING ON A DATE, and then has the GLUTEN FREE AUDACITY to be mad when tHEY are UPSET by it!

Oh but that wasn't a problem in "Wishmaker" when it was Marinette sharing with Luka, but sure, make up new things just so you can get mad about it, that makes sense.

I also have a personal vendetta against him for being the one to out Marinette's feelings for Adrien to Adrien. After 4 seasons of build up, this is how Adrien finds out? Horrible, vile, detention, exile, I hate him. I mean I've been done with him since "Heart Hunter"/"Miracle Queen", but they just loooooove to PILE IT ON.

Like, wouldn't it make more sense for Andre to have been the one person to see through the Love Square? Even if he didn't fully understand it, since Ladybug = Marinette and Chat Noir = Adrien, wouldn't it just make sense for Magic Ice Cream to be able to see past that because They're Soulmates(tm)? But he's only invested in ONE of the pairings, not even like two of the pairings that are seemingly unrelated. He is NEVER as passionate about Adrienette as he is about LadyNoir...but why???? Why is he so blase about Marinette going with Luka or Adrien being with whoever when he can't even handle Chat Noir LAUGHING with a girl who Isn't Ladybug?

They never even have fun and explore what he'd do if he caught a Ladrien date, would he be angry at Adrien like he is with Marinette, or does he just have it out for her specifically?

At this point I'm just convinced he's only so invested in the LadyNoir pairing because he's publicly endorsed them so much and if they don't end up together he'll be outed for being a Hack Fraud. His fixation on two teenagers becoming a couple as a grown adult and falling to pieces just because Marinette has other ways to have fun instead of eating Ice Cream she doesn't even get to choose the flavor of...

Yeah, throw him in jail Chloe.

[extremelyblackandwhite]

Could you maybe possibly do a Bucky X single mum reader? Maybe he doesn't know she's a mum thinks she's ghosting him and then bumps into her and said child or something maybe some angst smut fluff the whole shebang

Bucky was officially done with dating.

He had felt this quite a few times but never had he decided to put an end to dating in the modern day until now. Things had been going great, he didn't even think she would've accepted to go on a date with him yet she did and after that, there wasn't a single moment where he wasn't thinking of her or with her. She was sweet, smart and didn't seem to mind about his past as the Winter Soldier or the metal arm that was blatantly visible to anyone if he took his gloves off. He was finally happy, in a healthy relationship, or at least he thought so.

A week ago things had gone radio silent, there were no texts, he didn't see her at her usual coffee spot and whenever he tried calling, it would go to voice mail time and time again. It had finally hit him that she had just "ghosted" him as Sam called it. Maybe he was right, yet not in the common sense, instead he felt haunted. Haunted by her touch, by her memory and even by the stupid cookies she used to buy. The same stupid cookies he was staring at right now.

      - Can I get these? - a toddler jumped up and down next to him. It was a girl, at least Bucky thought it was a girl based on the high pitched voice. He only looked at the toddler when she pulled on the leg of his trouser, finally forcing him to look at her. - Sir, please can you pass me the cookies?

He shrugged, easily grabbing the box and handing it to the girl who went off running to the legs of a woman, a woman who looked too familiar, a woman who looked almost terrified when she saw Bucky. Honestly, Bucky wasn't even sure who was more terrified if her or him.

      - Bucky. - she said as she walked up to him. - Listen, I ...

      - That's fine. - he interrupted her. - You don't have to say hi to me.

      - No, I just ... I need to explain things.

      - I'd rather avoid the whole "it's not you, it's me" discussion. You know, you could've at least sent me a text instead of ghosting me.

      - Ghosting? No, no, you don't understand. I've been busy and ...

      - For a whole week? Clearly you're not busy enough to be perusing the supermarket.

      - Perusing? I'm just getting groceries, I forgot I couldn't if I didn't text you.

      - Oh so you do know how to text. - Bucky knew he was being mean now but he was hurt. There were may voices in his head which were making him feel like a loser, make him feel like just the Winter Soldier yet he also knew that was no reason to insult her so before he could say something he would regret, he walked away.

Technically, he had now ghosted her as well but she'd done it first so it wasn't as heavy in his mind. At least not as heavy as the idea that the girl he liked so much had suddenly stopped wanting to see him. Many things were going through his mind about what could've caused it, he didn't see another man with her at the store so it potentially wasn't one so his mind was forcing him to face the fact that he was probably the reason. Who would want to date a murderer, the Winter Soldier? No one.

      - Did you bring my milk? - Steve asked as he skimmed through the groceries. - Bucky?

      - I saw Y/N in the shop. - he sat down. - And I was a dick to her. Basically ran off with whatever I had in my cart.

      - Hold on. - Steve said as he sat next to him. - You saw her? What did you say?

      - Stupid shit.

Steve rolled his eyes. Bucky was his best friend, they had known each other since forever and he wasn't against taking his friend's side even if he knew he may be slightly wrong. Yet, in this case, he knew Bucky probably was acting out from hurt and that usually wasn't pretty or nice to hear. It was quite vicious actually, sometimes he forgot how vicious Bucky could be.

      - I don't know what you said but maybe you should apologise.

      - Probably. - he sighed. - Yet again I think she was getting ready to give me a pity speech and I'd rather not listen to it.

      - Do you like this girl? - Bucky stayed silent at this. Of course he liked her, she was all he could think about at night, she was the sun the moon and the stairs for all he cared. But she didn't want him, what else would be the reason for her to suddenly go cold on him. - You've lived for a whole century, Buck. Go talk to her and find out what it is instead of sulking.

(...)

Bucky already regretted this.

As he stood outside her apartment door, he wondered if he was a complete creep. He felt like one, waiting for someone to open the main door so he could get into the building with the sad flowers he'd bought hoping they would convince Y/N not to close the door in his face. Once more, he stared at the golden number on her door before sighing and knocking. He heard quick footsteps before the door knob was slowly twisted and the door opened. The same toddler who he had seen in the market opened the door.

      - Hi! - she said looking at him as if he was her oldest friend.

      - Uh ... Is Y/N here?

      - Meredith, who are you talking you? - he heard Y/N's voice echo through the apartment until she appeared at the door. - Bucky.

      - Hi. - he cleared his throat.

      - Mere, go inside. - Y/N ushered her daughter back inside, closing the door behind her.

Bucky stared at Y/N in both awe and confusion. Who was that toddler? Was it hers? She did look a look like Y/N and he had seen both of them at the supermarket as well. Did Y/N have a kid?

      - She's mine. - Y/N said noticing the doubt on his face. - I had her senior year of college. She's 4.

      - Why ... uh ....

      - She's 4, she doesn't really understand relationships and I don't want to bring anyone into her life that may leave. I also usually struggle to date when I tell guys I have a 4 year old ... I should've told you, I'm sorry.

      - And the ghosting?

      - I wasn't ghosting. - she crossed her arms. - Mere had the chicken pox and I had to stay home with her. I was gonna text you but I thought this ... this would be a better conversation to have in person.

      - Ah ... - he scratched the back of his neck. - I was an asshole at the supermarket, wasn't I?

      - That depends ... are those flowers for me? - she smirked.

      - Yes. - he extended his arm towards her handing her the flowers. Marigolds, her favourite. - They look a bit sad though.

      - They look perfect. - she smiled at him. - Wanna come in?

(...)

Bucky stirred awake in the couch as he heard a soft rustling following by breathing. He peaked his eye open to see Meredith staring at him with wide eyes before she poked his cheek with her finger.

      - Mr. Bucky? Can you make me pancakes?

He could get used to this.

[mrsbuckybarnes1917]

13: NEW BEGINNINGS

Previous chapter < MASTERLIST > Next chapter

You and Bucky are finally able to admit your feelings to each other.

Word count 3.4k

Warnings: confessions of love, Sam being the best wingman (pun intended)

It had been a long and difficult week, filled with painful rehab sessions and slow progress. But finally, you were starting to feel more like yourself again. Your voice was still weak from disuse, but you were delighted to hear that the doctors were ready to remove your tracheostomy tube. It was a small victory, but it meant that you were one step closer to recovery.

Despite the progress, you found yourself getting tired easily and napping often. It was frustrating, but you knew that it was all part of the healing process. The physiotherapists had refused to let you wear the speaking valve after they discovered that you had some trouble the previous night, rendering you speechless for the day.

What worried you more was the fact that Bucky, who had been by your side throughout your ordeal, seemed to be spending less and less time with you. You couldn't help but wonder where he went when he wasn't with you. Old insecurities started to resurface, and you found yourself questioning whether Bucky's feelings for you had changed now that you were getting better. The tenderness and care that he had shown you in the beginning seemed to be fading, and it left you feeling lost and confused.

As time ticked on, you couldn't shake the feeling that Bucky was pulling away from you. You suspected that he was going to see Priya, after all, she had made it abundantly clear she wouldn't give him up. The thoughts had you rebuilding the barriers that had come tumbling down after your injury. 

Sam was by your bedside this afternoon. Listening to him chatter about Cass and AJ's most recent antics. He chuckled at the reason that Cass had received detention, but you had zoned out and looked surprised when Sam started laughing. 

He looked at you with concern filling his beautiful brown eyes. “What's up with you? Not feeling good?”

“Sorry,” you mouthed at him. 

“What's wrong, little bug?”

You pulled out your phone and sent him a text. It took a moment for Sam to understand that you had sent the message to him.

“Oh right. Thought you were ignoring me for a second there,” he chuckled, reading the words on his screen.

>>>> I'm okay, just tired.

“Tired, huh? And here I thought you might be lamenting over a certain broody super soldier.”

You gave him a solid deadpan stare, before your eyes involuntarily flicked towards the door, as though the mere mention of him might summon his presence.

>>>> I thought things were better but…

What you wanted to say was ‘I can't shake this feeling that Bucky’s pulling away from me.’

“What do you mean?” Sam asked.

>>>> He's been spending less and less time with me.

You stopped yourself from adding ‘and I can't help but think he's going to see Priya.’ To your surprise, Sam texted you in return.

Sam << Have you talked to him about it?

>>>> No. How do I even bring it up? He’s with her, right?

Your mind said ‘he's choosing her over me.’

Sam dropped his phone with exasperation. “Cricket, that's not true! Bucky loves you more than anything else in the world.”

You rolled your eyes.

>>>> How do you know?

“Because he told me. Isn’t that good enough?”

>>>> I don't know if I can believe that unless it comes from him.

“You need to talk to him. Communication is key in any relationship.”

>>>>  You sound like an online therapy programme.

Sam guffawed.

“Honestly, I'm kinda surprised by how quickly you forgave him for all the shit he gave you. I mean don't get me wrong, I'm glad you two are friends again but...”

You were surprised by Sam's openness. Natasha and May felt the same way, you were sure, but it was shocking to hear it from Sam who was usually more of a diplomat. It wasn't as though you hadn't thought about all the things that had happened between you, but you couldn't seem to let him go.

>>>> I was scared, Sam

>>>> And he was there and I…

You pressed send, even though you didn't know how to express the sentiment. Despite everything that had happened between you, you still craved his presence in your life. Sam put a comforting hand on your leg.

>>>> I thought I was going to die

>>>> I know, I know. Being an Avenger and being scared of death. Dumb, huh?

>>>> Even after everything, the thing that scared me more was that I might never see him again

>>>> I just don't want to push him away again

“I'm all for team Bucket but I think he has some groveling to do. But trust me, he won't go anywhere.”

You scrunched your face in confusion and mouthed ‘team Bucket’ at Sam. 

“You know, Bucky and Cricket, it's a ship name. Look, that was all Tony!” Sam shrugged as you giggled silently. “Just talk to him, okay?”

>>>> Okay, I'll try. Thank you, Sam

“Anytime. Just remember, Bucky cares about you more than you know.”

>>>> I hope you're right. Thank you for being here for me

“Always. Now tell me you’ll talk to Bucky. Everything will work out, I promise.”

>>>> I will. Promise

Sam looked up from his phone to see you holding out your pinky finger for Sam to wrap his around. As you sealed your pinky promise, Sam kissed you on the forehead. “Now get some sleep, you look like you need it.”

*

As you opened your eyes the following morning, you saw Bucky was back at your bedside. He looked tired and worried, and there was a hint of relief in his eyes as he saw you wake up. Clearly he had come back the previous day, but you had fallen asleep before his arrival. He handed you the speaking valve for you to clip onto your tracheostomy tube.

"Why’re you still here, Bucky? Everything’s fine, you should go home and get some rest," you said, voice filled with concern. 

"Trying to get rid of me?" he teased, a cheeky grin gracing his lips and lighting up his tired features.

You rolled your eyes, suppressing a smile. "Mostly because you look homeless right now," you replied.

Bucky chuckled. "Peachy. I give your voice back and it’s straight to the insults."

"Hey, you know you love me!" Your eyes shone with affection.

Bucky blushed and smiled. "Can’t deny that," he admitted.

“Really Buck, you don't have to stay. It's not your responsibility. I'm a big girl, I have to learn to take care of myself,” you said softly, your voice tinged with sadness.

Bucky shifted uncomfortably, his eyes avoiding yours. “You know, you and Steve are exactly the same. He used to say that to me a lot after his mom died,” he observed, finally meeting your gaze.

You nodded, understanding dawning in your eyes. “Yeah, he has a hard time accepting help,” you agreed, a small smile playing on your lips.

“But I'm here for you, Cricket. I want to help you through this,” Bucky said earnestly, taking a step closer to you.

You looked at him, your heart torn between wanting to believe him and the fear of being hurt again. Bucky had let you down before, and you couldn't bear the thought of going through that pain once more.

"What, when you feel like it?" you asked, your tone bitter with the hurt and disappointment you had been feeling.

Bucky's expression fell, and he looked down, shame coloring his cheeks. You could see the regret in his eyes, and a part of you softened at the sight.

"Yeah, that's what I thought," you said sadly, feeling the weight of your emotions pressing down on you.

But then, Bucky looked up, determination shining in his eyes. "Cricket, I promise you, I will always be here for you. Always," he vowed, reaching out to take your hand in his.

You hesitated, unsure if you could trust his words. "Except when you're mad," you pointed out, your voice tinged with skepticism.

Bucky sighed, running a hand through his hair. "Do you even know why I was angry?" he asked, his tone pleading for understanding.

"Because I didn't get you a dumb birthday gift?" you replied, feeling a mix of frustration and confusion.

Bucky shook his head, a small smile tugging at his lips. "Cricket, why’re you like this?" he asked, his eyes searching yours for an answer.

"Like what?" you countered, feeling a surge of defensiveness rising within you.

"You've been lying to me for months," Bucky stated, his voice gentle but firm.

You felt a lump form in your throat, the weight of your secrets pressing down on you. "I don't know what you want me to say," you admitted, feeling vulnerable and exposed.

"What's going on in that head of yours? Just help me understand what you're feeling," Bucky urged, his gaze filled with concern and a hint of frustration.

Bucky's heart sank as he watched you avoid his gaze, preferring to fiddle with the strings on your hospital gown. He had never seen you like this before, so vulnerable and distant. He knew he had to get to the bottom of what was troubling you, no matter how difficult it may be.

Bucky reached out and gently lifted your chin, forcing you to look at him. "Cricket, please talk to me. I can't help you if you don't tell me what's wrong," he pleaded.

Taking a deep breath, you let go of your defenses and allowed yourself to be vulnerable with Bucky. "I’m sad," you whispered, tears welling up in your eyes.

Bucky took your hands in his. “That’s good… that you’re telling me this, not that you’re sad. Can you tell me what’s making you sad?”

“That things aren’t like they used to be… with us.

“And this is because of Priya?” he asked, cautiously. 

You nod, taking a deep shuddering breath, knowing that if he asked you a direct question, the truth would come out and it terrified you. But you’d been hiding it for too long and it was eating you alive.

“You don’t like her?” 

“I didn’t have any specific problem with her… up until your birthday.”

“Yeah, I can understand that.”

You looked up at him curiously.

“I found the gift you got me.” Bucky moved closer to you, so he was sitting beside you on the bed, still holding your hand. “And I read the note.”

“Yeah?” Your heart was pounding with fear and anticipation.

“Yeah,” he nodded. “What you wrote… I… I don't think anyone has ever done anything so special for me before?”

“What, not even Steve coming to Azzano to break you out of a Nazi prison?” you joked, trying to divert attention from yourself.

Bucky chuckled. “Stop deflecting.”

“Sure thing, Mr. Pop Psychology. Who suddenly gave you a masters degree in psychotherapy?”

“What you said… did you mean it?”

You frowned, not a hundred percent sure of what he meant.

“In the message on the birthday card,” he clarified seeing your confusion.

“Every word,” you answered earnestly.

“I’m sorry for what happened… with Priya.” 

“That wasn’t your fault,” you shrugged.

“But I was the one so ready to believe that you didn’t care about me. After everything we’ve been through together, I should’ve given you the benefit of the doubt.”

But another question was plaguing your mind. “How long have you known?”

“Known what?”

“About what Priya did.”

“The same day that you were hurt. I was coming to find you when Steve got your message. I just got back from that mission with Sharon.” His voice tailed off, knowing what your next words would be about.

“Why were you on a mission with Sharon?”

“Because I asked Steve to assign me a different partner,” he mumbled.

You nodded, as he confirmed your suspicions. “Of all the things that’ve happened, I think that’s the most hurtful thing you’ve done.”

“So you just decided to leave? Without saying a word?” He couldn't keep the sourness from his words.

“Who was I supposed to say it to? You were acting like I didn’t exist. You didn’t even say goodbye when you walked away from me. What if something happened out there?” Your eyes filled with tears again. “What if you didn’t come back? What was I supposed to do then, Bucky? Huh? You left me!” Your voice cracked as your tears fell.

“I know, I'm sorry.” He put his arms around you, holding you tightly. He whispered his apologies into your hair as he held you to his chest. “I'm sorry.”

As you composed yourself, you pulled out of his embrace, wincing as the stitches in the side of your abdomen are put under strain. “Please don't,” you pushed away his hand as he tried to help you. “How does your girlfriend even feel about you being here 24-7? She made it pretty clear to me that she wasn’t giving you up.”

“She did what?” Bucky’s voice rose an octave and his eyebrows flew up into his hairline. “When?”

“Didn’t she tell you why we were in the park together?”

“I haven’t seen her since we brought you to the hospital. We’re not…”

“What happened?” you asked, surprised to hear this development.

“We broke up.”

“Why?” 

Bucky took a deep breath, trying to gather his thoughts before speaking. "Because she's not you," he finally said, his voice barely above a whisper.

Your eyes widened in surprise, your expression a mix of confusion and realization.

"What do you mean she's not me?" you asked, your voice tinged with disbelief.

Bucky looked down at his hands, fidgeting nervously. "I mean... she's not you. She's not the one I want to be with. She's not the one who makes me feel safe and loved. She's not the one who understands me like you do."

"I was so scared of losing you, that I ended up acting totally crazy and almost lost you anyway. Bucky, I…” you sighed. “I don't know why this is so hard for me to say… I care about you. You're everything to me… I… I love you."

Bucky's eyes softened as he reached out to gently lift your chin, forcing you to meet his gaze. "I'm sorry, Cricket. I didn't realize... I didn't know how you felt."

You sighed, feeling a weight lift off your shoulders as you finally spoke your truth. "I've been hiding it for so long, Bucky. I've been pretending that everything was fine, but it wasn't. I missed you. I missed us."

Bucky's thumb brushed against your cheek, wiping away a stray tear. "I missed you too, Cricket. I missed us too."

You leaned into his touch, feeling a sense of comfort and familiarity wash over you. “I don't want to hide it anymore, Bucky.”

Bucky's eyes sparkled with emotion as he pulled you into a tight embrace, holding you close as if he never wanted to let go. "I’m so glad to hear you say that, Cricket. I love you too."

In that moment, you felt that your world was complete. Bucky was everything you needed and he felt the same way about you as you did for him. You craned your neck back to look at his face, and as he caught your eye, Bucky cupped your cheek tenderly. Your hearts beat in unison as he leaned in closer. The tension between you palpable, the air thick with desire. And then, in a moment that seemed to last an eternity, his lips met yours in a soft, tender kiss, his heart soaring as you kissed him back. It was like nothing either of you had ever experienced before. The world around you faded away as you lost yourself in Bucky, your bodies pressed together in a sweet embrace. The kiss was gentle and sensual, filled with a depth of emotion that words could never express.

Eventually Bucky pulled back, gasping a little to fill his lungs with the air he had been deprived of. Even as a super soldier , Bucky still needed oxygen. He blinked in confusion, bewildered by the mischievous twinkle in your eye.

"I win that round, huh?" you said, a playful grin on your face.

"What do you mean? How are you not out of breath?" he asked, his heart still racing from the kiss.

You pointed to the tracheostomy tube in your throat, a small smile playing on your lips, a hint of laughter in your voice. "I can breathe through this, remember? So I win this time, Sergeant Barnes. Whoever breaks the kiss is the loser."

Bucky couldn’t help but laugh with you while shaking his head, feeling a sense of relief washing over him. He had always loved your sense of humor, even in a moment as intimate as this.

*

You sat on the edge of the bed, overjoyed that you had been deemed fit to leave the hospital. As you stared out of the window at the bountiful greenery that surrounded the urban hospital building, Bucky approached you quietly, his footsteps barely making a sound on the sterile floor.

"Hey, Cricket," he said softly, taking a seat beside you. "I heard it's time for you to come home."

You turned to look at him, your eyes filled with happiness. "Hey! That was my news!" you joked.

"Do you want me to get the rest of the team to help move you back home?"

You took a deep breath and looked out the window again, contemplating your response. You had been thinking about this moment for a while now, and you knew you had to be honest with Bucky.

"I appreciate the offer, Bucky, but I don't think I want to go home just yet," you said, your voice steady.

"What?" Bucky's face fell dramatically, panic on his handsome features. But you were ready for this reaction. 

"Look, Buck, I'm not saying I don't want to be with you." You put your hand on his thigh. "I just... it's been a lot, you know? I..."

Bucky looked surprised, but he nodded understandingly. "I get it, Cricket. You've been through a lot and maybe you need more time to heal."

You smiled gratefully at Bucky. "Exactly. And I've been thinking... I want to stay in my apartment and teach at the Academy. I've never lived on my own, been self-sufficient. I went from living with my family, to working for S.H.I.E.L.D., to being an Avenger. I just think it's time for me to be me. I want you to have the best of me."

Bucky sighed, pouting and running a hand through his hair. "But we could use your powers on the team. You're a valuable asset, Cricket." 

"I know," she replied, her voice tinged with sadness. “But I need a fresh start. I need to figure out who I am outside of being a superhero or an agent. I want to continue working at the Academy and make a difference in my own way."

Bucky nodded, understanding your need for independence. "I respect that, Cricket. But promise me that if we ever need your help on a mission, you'll be there."

Cricket smiled softly. "Of course, Bucky. I'll always be there when you need me."

Bucky reached out and took your hand, his touch warm and comforting. "I'm going to miss having you around all the time."

You squeezed his hand back, feeling a pang of sadness at the thought of leaving your teammates behind. "I'll miss you too, Bucky. But this isn't goodbye forever. We'll still see each other all the time, I promise."

As you sat in silence, the weight of your impending separation hung heavy in the air. But you knew that this was a necessary step for you to find yourself and for your relationship with Bucky to grow stronger.

"What will this mean for us?" he asked, tentatively.

"Well, I hope, a fresh start. One where we can both communicate better with each other."

Bucky grinned at you sheepishly. "I promise, from this point on, I'll always be here for you, no matter what. Even if I'm mad, or sad, or..."

"Horny?"

Both of you burst out laughing, plenty embarrassed and slightly aroused.

"That one is guaranteed." Bucky grazed his finger over your arm, leaving a trail for goosebumps in its wake.

 "I love you, Bucky."

"I love you too, Cricket," Bucky whispered, pressing a kiss to your forehead before reluctantly letting go.

As you prepared to leave the hospital and start your new journey, you felt a mix of emotions - excitement for the future, sadness at leaving your old life behind, but above all, a sense of hope for what was to come. And as you looked out at the greenery outside the window, you knew that you were ready for whatever challenges lay ahead. Everything felt different now and with Bucky by your side, you were confident that the two of you could face anything together.

Previous chapter < MASTERLIST > Next chapter

Tag list: @samodivaa @scoonsalicious @noonespecial90 @browneyedgrli @vicmc624 @cjand10 @capswife @julvrs @ordelixx @sashaisready @sebastians-love @belleofthebooks @missvelvetsstuff @angelbabyyy99 @rabbitrabbit12321 @love-isnt-greed @hhiggs @winters1917 @blackhawkfanatic @calwitch @learisa @daybleedsintonightfa11 @lillianacristina @mostlymarvelgirl @wintercrow @buckitostan @crist1216 @bisexualnikkisixx @robynjasp @brairslair @brnesblogposts

[gadriezmannsgirl]

Hi, I absolutely love your writing!

I wanted to ask if you could write a Fermín x reader where reader works at the club as one of the fitness trainers and Fermín has the biggest crush on her, and gets teased all the time by his teammates because he get’s completely flustered all the time she helps him with something. At the end he is tired of their teasing and finally asks her out, and he’s really shy toward her. Thank you ❤️

My first Fermín fic ever🥹✨🫶🏼 Hope you'll like this, please let me know, feedback is really important to me!

By Your Side -F.L32

Summary: You're his fitness trainer but he wants you to be something more

You were dreaming. You felt like you were even though you knew you weren't. Dreams do come true. You remember crying when you graduated with honors at School of Physical Activity and Sport Sciences, but you cried even more knowing that the FC Barcelona wanted you to do your internship with them after creating a customized training program.

Not only you got to met your favorite players, you got to work with them and be part of your favorite club, being someone important in the team and for them to take your words and opinions into consideration. To ask you questions, guides on how to be better, how to work out to avoid an injury...

However, being young and female, people- mostly men, liked to make fun of it. Why would a girl be doing in a men's world? Thank heavens, your club supported you and praised you for your hard work and mostly, the ones who were doing it were the players. You had to be constantly around them, making a diet, doing a program, training and everything...

So it wasn't hard for you to get along with them and mostly with the younger ones like Ferran, Pedri, Lamine, Marc G, Gavi, Alejandro and Fermín. You joked with them and had a running joke with each one, your banter only understandable by you guys.

On the other hand, crushing over one of the players? Now, that wasn't on your list but you couldn't help it, he's sweet and funny, shy and aggressive, soft outside the pitch and hard inside, he's very intelligent and hardworking, treating you right in and outside work.

You sighed watching his name in your list. Fermín López.

And a small smile broke into your face.

There was one thing everyone understood but you. Fermín's crush on you. He didn't meant it. You are pretty, yes. But once he got to know you his attraction for you went more than just looks. Every time he spent with you, he fell more for you. And everyone knew it. And often he got teased by it.

Whenever you passed by, stopped to talk or even when your name was mentioned in a conversation, the tables would turn and the teasing would get to him, making him shake his head at his friends and coworkers while hang his head low for no one to see the obvious blush that covered his cheeks.

"Pero pídele una cita, chaval" (Ask her out on a date, dude) Ferran said hitting Fermín's shoulder

"¿Podréis parar un poco?" (Can you stop for a little bit?) Fermín said looking at both, Ferran and Lamine

"Venga, Trujillo" (C'mon, Trujillo) Pedri appeared in his other side "You never know if she wants it, as well"

"She's just our fitness trainer tho. I wouldn't want her to end up in a mess just because I like her"

"You never know what can happen, Fer" Ferran said patting his back "The worst thing could be her ending up fired" All the looks went to Ferran "What?"

"Tiburón, mejor no hables" (Shark, it's better if you don't talk) Pedri said shaking his head at his best friend's antics

"Bueno... That's a posibility" Fermín said sighing

"I mean, it is. But it doesn't have to be like that"

"Sorry the interruption" You said "Pedri, you're doing it wrong" You smile "No wonder why you get easily injured" You joke shaking your head softly

"Hey, it's not my fault I'm fragile!" You stopped smiling giving him the right instructions

"Leg pulled out completely and chin up, go now" You said before turning to Fermín "Your back, señor" You said straightening your back to show him "Good!" You smile "Keep the work, guys"

"Gracias, Y/N/N" He said in a breath as you smile at him

They saw how you went up to Gündogan and Cancelo who were doing push-up's.

"Stop drooling" Lamine said as both, Ferran and Pedri laughed as Fermín wanted to stop what he was doing and hit the back of the youngest head

"Si queréis, la próxima lo gritas más fuerte" (If you want, next time you scream it louder) Fermín said

"I can do that" The youngest didn't catched on Fermin's sarcasm

"And if he can't, we for sure can" Raphinha said with Jules besides him

"No ustedes también, por favor" (Not you too guys, please) Fermín said putting his head on his hands

"What's going on?" Frenkie says drying his face with a towel

"Fermín's crush on Y/N"

"Right! Are you going to tell her?" Frenkie asks winning a groan from him and a round of laughter from the guys

"Can you at least keep it down, guys? By the end of the routine she'll know about it"

"Is it a good or a bad thing?" Robert, who now joined to conversation, asked. Fermín let out a sigh when he saw you walk out the training room

"A very bad one"

"Why?"

"Because she's our fitness trainer and she could get in trouble?"

"Everyone knows you're friends outside this place with her and no one is commenting a thing on it-"

"As they should" Fermín said nodding his head

"So I don't think they'll say something if you ask her out on a date" Robert shrugged his shoulders

"But what if-?"

"Stop with that, you never know what might happen if you never try it" Araújo says with a smile "Besides, she might as well like you"

"And then you'll be a happy couple" Marc Casadó said

"Happy ever after, isn't it?" Oriol joked making everyone laugh and Fermín blush

"Stop guys" He said standing up from the machine "I'll be going"

"You can do it!"

"Good luck, chaval!" Gündogan yelled being followed by everyone

Once Fermín was out the training room, he pushed his weight onto the door, closed his eyes and took a deep breath.

He loved his co-workers, teammates and his friends to death but dear god-

"Hola Fermín"

"¡Puta madre!" (Fuck's sake!) Fermín yelled out startled and startling you as well

"Hostias, I know I don't look good in my work clothes but it's not like that"

"No! No. You look great! You look great, believe me. I just didn't expect it" You laugh lightly seeing him worried

"I was kinda joking, Trujillo. Calm down" He blushed smiling at the nickname while you laughed softly

"¿Qué?" (What?)

"You're blushing"

"I'm sweaty, that's why" You both laugh as he tries to calm himself down

"Sure, of course" You nod giggling

"Pero que tú tambien estás sonrojada" (But you're also blushing)

"It's hot today!"

"Such a liar you are!" You laugh sticking your tongue out

"But in all seriousness... are you feeling okay? I saw you coming out from the room and you looked anxious. Is everything okay?"

"Yes, everything is fine! I'm just overthinking some things" You nod

"I gotcha" You said crossing your arms over your chest "You wanna talk about it?"

Fermín looks at you and frowns "Don't cross your arms like that"

"Over my chest?" He nods "Why?"

"You instantly frown and your smile disappears. You're prettier while smiling" You blushed and smiled

"You're distracting me from your problem"

"That's my problem"

"I'm being serious"

He giggles "So am I" He says shrugging his shoulders

"Fermín"

"¿Qué?" He laughs

"I'm serious"

"I'm not having any problem, Y/N" He smiles "It was mainly just some things, the guys were saying"

"What did they say?"

"It was some teasing but it's a pretty serious thing for me and I get them but I don't think they get me"

"You can tell me, you know? I'm always here to help you"

"It's a complicated theme"

"I can understand"

"I'm okay, Y/N"

"C'mon, Fer. I know we're at work right now but we're friends. You can tell me anything"

Fermin sighs "It's really complicated"

"I have time" Fermín smiles shaking his head "Is it about football?" He shakes his head "College?" No again "Family?" No "A girl?" He doubts lightly before shaking his head "It's a girl"

"No"

"Don't lie, López" He smiles looking at the floor

"I like this girl, I have been crushing on her for the longest time possible but I'm afraid because of some things"

"What things?" You ask

"Her job first of all and what people can say about that"

"Is that just it?"

"I'm also afraid she doesn't like me back"

"How could anyone not like you, Fer? You're amazing. Come on, tell me more about this girl" You start walking

"Where are you going?"

"We're gonna have a talk, Fermín!"

"Wait...!"

He ran after you as you got to your office "Get ready, I want details"

Fermín looked at you as you were picking up some papers and making your office more presentable than it was already

Suddenly he felt his blood running through his whole body and remembered every teasing the guys made

"You need a tissue, man. You have drool on your chin", "Go ask her out", "Training with more passion are we now, huh Fer?"

"The girl" You hum letting him know to continue "The girl I'm talking about..." You lift your head to see him "It's you"

"You say what?"

"I like you" He said nodding "But I'm scared because you're our fitness trainer and I don't want to cause you any kind of problem. I don't want people to judge you nor your well deserved spot on this team and I have been into you ever since you came here 'cus you're gorgeous, sweet, smart, funny and many things that I wouldn't be able to describe with words" He shrugs his shoulders with a soft smile "But I don't know..." He said looking at the floor as you smiled

"Really?" He nods

"I'm sorry if-"

"That's a good thing to know then" you cut him off "'cus I like you too"

"Really?" His head lifts, his eyes shine and in his face was a smile

"Yes" You said blushing by the intensity of the eye contact held between the two of you

"That's amazing!" You both laugh "I'm sorry"

"It's fine, Fer. It's okay"

"Would you... Uhmm... I don't- I mean... Would you like to go with me on a date?" You smile nodding

"Sure" You smile "Is 7pm good for you?"

"Yes! Yes, of course! It works for me" He smiles and giggles. You smile back. "Do you want me to pick you up?" You nod

"That's perfect!"

"Perfect" He breathed out with a smile

"Great"

"Great" You laugh

"¡Fermín! ¡You're missing one repetition!"

"Not to kick you out but you should go" You said as he nods laughing

"I should"

"And go there jogging. You stopped excercising a while ago I wouldn't like for you to get a cramp"

"Yes, miss" He smiled getting out of your office.

You stayed there looking at your door. Damn, your cheeks hurt for smiling so much. But it was something he gets out of you easily. He makes you happy.

°°° °°° °°° °°°

Taglist: @gaviymarcsbride @stuckinaf4nfiction @elijahslover @azzpenswrld @http-isabela