#and i can more easily understand where and how they went wrong
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purplesaline · 1 year ago
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Don't forget Radical Acceptance! That ties into the letting go when someone dies aspect and is also a big reason why they seem so emotionless a lot of times. When you accept there's nothing that can be done about something and let it go, much of the anger and distress goes with it and that calm acceptance that's left can seem unnaturally numb to people who haven't accepted they're powerless yet.
It wasn't the Jedi teachings that failed Anakin, it was Obi-Wan's inexperience as a teacher. He told Anakin to let go of his anger but didn't give him the skills and support Anakin needed to be able to do that. Anakin needed his anger acknowledged and validated, he needed someone to co-regulate his emotions with him when they were too powerful for him to manage on his own.
He was told to practice the teachings but he wasn't given the skills he needed to do so, he was only given the skulls that worked for Obi-Wan.
A situation I'm sure a lot of people who have been through multiple therapists can relate to. Not all therapists are created equal and there's a lot out there that only seem able to follow one path, whether or not that path works for their client They're fine if what you need just so happens to align with what they can provide, and they're alright if your destination is the same and there are no obstacles on the path that are impassable for you even if it's not the most efficient or beneficial path you could have taken. The problem is that they'll often blame the client if the path is inaccessible to them and not realize they should have chosen a different route.
A good therapist, and a good Jedi teacher, know many paths and many destinations and can recognize when their charge is going the wrong way and can help them realize the destination they actually want to reach, and help them find the most suitable path for them to take to that destination. Or, most importantly, can recognize when they don't have the skills or knowledge to help guide their charge to thay destination or on that path and will help them find someone who can.
Anakin was failed, but not by the Jedi, directly at least. They never should have given in to Obi-Wan teaching Anakin. Their initial concerns were correct and they should have listened to their instincts. Obi-Wan was attached to Anakin, to use the definition indicated above, and because of that attachment he was too permissive and allowed Anakin to opt for comfort when he needed to face discomfort to grow. Obi-Wan couldn't tolerate his own distress at seeing Anakin in distress and so Anakin never developed the skills he needed to tolerate distress at all.
But the Jedi are, before anything else, simply people and thus are fallible. As people they tend toward over-intellectualizing and dissociation as maladaptive coping skills to tolerate distress/anger etc, which work really well right up until they don't. Many avoid relationships completely to prevent attachment because it's easier. And when you don't learn the skills you can't pass them on to your students, who can't pass them on to theirs, and so on until the Jedi Order collapses because because no one has the skills to correctly follow the teachings.
What we see in these movies time and time again though is that there is always another opportunity to make the right choice no matter how often you've made the wrong one.
An important thing to remember is that true Jedi Mastery is Enlightenment, which is unattainable. It's a moving goal post that we're never actually meant to reach because the point isn't reaching our destination. The point is traveling toward it. The point is the journey, we only choose a destination so we know what direction to start walking in.
I think too many Jedi forgot that part and saw the Dark Side as traveling down the wrong path when really they'd just stopped walking. All it would have taken to rejoin the light was to take another step but if you think you've traveled a long way in the wrong direction it's a lot harder to make the right choice.
"the jedi don't have therapists-"
jedi philosophy, and in particular the practices and teachings that jedi were expected to implement in their everyday lives, was therapy. dialectical behavior therapy (dbt), to be exact. anyone who's familiar with dbt knows where i'm already going with this, but like genuinely look up the basic tenets of dbt and it's identical with what the jedi were doing.
dbt, to put it simply, is a specific therapy technique that was designed for ptsd and past trauma. it's pretty different from traditional talk therapy. it combines a few different environments (individual, group, etc.), recognizing that no single format of treatment can stand alone.
the key focuses of dbt include:
emotional regulation- understanding, being more aware of, and having more control over your emotions
mindfulness- regulating attention and avoiding anxious fixation on the past or future
interpersonal effectiveness- navigating interpersonal situations
distress tolerance- tolerating distress and crises without spiraling and catastrophizing
i'm sure it's already clear from that list alone how much the jedi teachings correspond with the goals of dbt. the jedi value, teach, and practice the following:
identifying and understanding emotions
mindfulness and living in the present
compassion, diplomacy, and conflict resolution (on interpersonal scales, not just planetary or galactic)
accepting and tolerating certain levels of distress or discomfort (particularly mental, such as discomfort at the thought of losing a loved one to death)
idk man seems almost as if jedi mental health practices and dbt are two sides of a completely identical coin. (fun fact: both star wars and dbt are products of the 70s.)
and guess what? dbt was specifically designed as a treatment for borderline personality disorder. remember that one? or, if you don't, maybe you remember a specific character, the one who was literally used as an example by my professor in my undergrad psych class when she was teaching us about bpd?
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tldr: simply existing within the jedi community, practicing jedi teachings, surrounded by a support network of other jedi of all life stages, was the therapy for anakin. even when viewed through a modern lens. it was even, more specifically, the precise type of therapy that has developed in modern times to treat the exact types of mental issues he was struggling with.
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coridallasmultipass · 5 months ago
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I hate when my phone won't let me have 2 audio sources running at the same time (depending on the app). I know what I'm doing, let me hear the discordant noises. My brain has built-in audio separation for music. It came as compensation for auditory processing issues. Don't make me pause the music.
#i also go absolutely fucking feral when my phone lowers the audio to play a notification sound#I CAN SEPARATE THE AUDIO. I CANT UNDERSTAND THE VIDEO IM WATCHING IF THE VOLUME SUDDENLY GOES TO ...#... 1% TO PLAY MY NOTIFICATION SOUND#wish i could turn that off more than the 2 audio sources one but i already tried researching how and its not possible with my means#i want to hear the notification sound but not at the cost of understanding what was just said on a video#especially if my hands are covered in paint and i cant rewind it#like i said. audio processing. often cant understand whats said under normal circumstances#suddenly lowering the volume makes it worse than having the notif and video play simultaneously#same with music and a video going. i dont wanna stop the vibe to play a video/short video/moment of video to bookmark the link#its not a phone ability issue bc i can play music while my battery-draining phone game plays!!#((usually dont tho bc i like the game music but if im playing while walking i need other music on even if its discordant))#((sometimes its not discordant which is fun))#oh correction before i post: i can usually understand whats said by understanding the other words spoken and mentally filling in the blanks#...for the words i missed. but when the audio goes to like 1% for a full like 5 seconds i miss an entire convo worth of audio#...on top of being pissed ab the audio being lowered for something easily filtered like a little 1 second chime#its hard enough to focus on what words people are speaking even face to face in person#im tired idk where im going w this now#ShitPost.exe#Cori.exe#seriously tho i love putting a song on repeat for hours and doing whatever. if i pause it its like. idk#in the middle of a shower. ur phone holds u at gunpoint to step out and take a shot of ketchup while u still got soap in ur eyes#then once u shoot the ketchup u can go back to showering and ur phone loses its ability to hold u at gunpoint.#like. i may not historically be opposed to a shot of ketchup for the meemz...#...but i dont want my shower interrupted at gunpoint by my phone to make me shoot ketchup...#...and then have to finish the shower with the taste of ketchup still lingering.#im tired i promise im not high thats just the best analogy for how wrong it feels to have to stop the music vibe thats been going for hours#man these tags went on longer than the post deserved and now im too tired to read what i wanted lmao#prob doesn't even make sense goOD NIGHT#delete later / /#((future cori can be the judge of that present cori is too tire))
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chisungie · 24 days ago
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#as a kid that loved my heelys and even got myself a pair when i got bigger#what the fuck are those cheap ass “kids rollerskating shoes” that are shoes w a small pair of wheels at the front#right before ur toes and the back at the bottom of ur heel like#how do u stop? kids r gonna put on that shit and start rolling like whats wrong w u#heelys had a problem bc kids were stupid and bad at balancing and rushed into it without being careful and learning first#i think.. i say that bc my brother and i did it fine? we took it slow and then heely'd around places like it was nothing.#even im a little shaky when i put them on after a long time of not using them#so how do u expect kids to use it?? parents and kids have to be more careful. same w if u put on rollerblades or rollerskates#they can be fun and used safely but u can easily fuck up and fall down if ur new#although admittedly heelys are more dangerous to learn.. i have a younger cousin who got them bc she saw me w them#and even w my help she like. couldnt understand how to do it.#like she had some points where if i correct her right away she'd sometimes get it and slide down her driveway nicely#but she never like. understood it. bc she couldnt do it consistently#and for that reason she cant wear it outside of like. me being there w her.#and she doesnt try it without being near a wall and having something or someone to hold. bc nobody wants her to get hurt#i kinda went off topic but my point is u can practice using them safely and u can teach ur kids slowly so they dont get hurt.#another point is sometimes even if u do everything right the kids still might not be able to grasp it n do it consistently on their own#thats ok too. it happens! and for the record she can ride a bike while i cant. but i can rollerblade and skate n she cant. so 🤷‍♀️#it happens! and lastly heelys can be dangerous! i got them long ago when i was younger n while my brother n i were fine#they literally got discontinued for a while bc kids were getting hurt. so like if ur getting them take it slow n be careful#but like. know that it is possible! and its fun! but u have to be. careful.#tldr im oddly passionate abt heelys n i love mine sm i got a 2nd pair but theyre not for everyone n thats ok 👍 bye#44597
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hxney-lemcn · 1 month ago
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First Kiss — The Leftovers x gn! reader
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summery: your first kiss with your lover.
tw: none.
a/n: I wasn't sure what to call the students who aren't vice/housewardens so now they're deemed the leftovers (sorry Cater 😔). Also, MERRY CHRISTMAS!
wc: 2.6k (~340 per character)
Master List | Housewardens | Vicehousewardens
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˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ Cater Diamond
The atmosphere was warm and soft as you both were hanging out in Cater’s room, is what I would like to say, but it was anything but that. You and Cater decided to have a ‘picnic’ (it wasn’t planned, you both bought your lunches and went to eat in the courtyard) and apparently your confession was a little too hot. What did your blabbermouth happen to say (was it really a blabbermouth if you were just telling a trusted friend something personal)? Well, you happened to let slip that you haven’t had your first kiss yet, and for some reason Cater couldn’t wrap his head around that. He didn’t seem to know how to react, mouth opening and closing as he doubted your sentence. You were so pretty and he found himself falling for you so easily, so the thought of no one else seeing you the way he does left him flabbergasted. And the juicy gossip he was (he just needed to understand this better), he kept prying; ‘weren’t you curious?’ yes, ‘has no one asked to?’ no, ‘has no one asked you out?’ no. That last went sent him on a whole other spiral, but he tried to store that in his head for another time. By the end of his little interrogation, he felt frustrated for you. And sevens, that bashful, saddened look made his heart plummet, and gosh did he want to kiss you silly, to prove whatever false things were rattling in your mind at that moment were wrong, and it seemed that Cater’s control was slipping, the suggestion spilling past his lips before he could stop it; ‘we could kiss, just so you know what it feels like.’ His heart leapt as you eyed him like you were actually pondering it, and that little nod of your head made his heart race. The kiss was soft, hesitant, unsure, but sweet. Hands were kept to themselves, unsure how far you were both willing to cross the line, and as you pulled away, the both of you could only long for more.
“W-well, if th-there’s any other firsts you want to break, caycay’s always here~”
˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ Deuce Spade
The both of you just had the most spectacular date, you had a ton of fun and Deuce seemed to enjoy himself as well. The boy had been a blushing mess, tripping over words and trying to be as gentlemanly as possible, and you were eating up the cute display. He had argued that he couldn’t let you walk home alone, and so there you stood, on your doorstep just a few inches taller than normal. Deuce watched diligently, like there was a chance you would get hurt in the two steps it would take you to get inside (after what you experienced on campus it was a very real fear). You smiled softly at the dark haired boy, thanking him for the wonderful date. In return he managed to blush once more, scratching the back of his neck as he tried to formulate a proper response. So, to tease the poor guy some more, you leaned over and placed a kiss on his cheek, watching on in amusement as Deuce seemed to shut down. You hid your cheeky grin behind your hand as he spluttered, trying to say something, but he managed to cut you off guard as he stared in wonder, face a bright red, muttering out ‘could…could you do that again?’. Who were you to deny him? Holding his cheeks, you placed another kiss, this time on the corner of his lips before you found yourself showering his entire face in kisses. You weren’t sure where all this affection was coming from, but neither of you were complaining. As you pulled away once more, you bit your lip before acting on impulse and leaving the lightest, barely there peck on his lips.
“I-I…u-uh…th-thank you. I…I hope we can go on another date…soon.”
˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ Ace Trappola
You were rightfully pissed. Ace had been teasing you nonstop about how ‘nobody wanted to date you’, and honestly? It was starting to get under your skin, your old (and normal) insecurities popping up once more. You have been working on it! And just like that he had erased your hard work in improving your mental health. And so what were you doing? Giving him the silent treatment. If he was going to be a jerk then you were going to ignore him. But you weren’t sure how much longer you could handle it, as Ace had been finding any and every way to get on your nerves. You clenched your fist as Ace continued to poke your cheek. You were either going to bite his finger off or twist his arm behind his back if he was going to keep this up. It wasn’t until he asked the dreaded question; ‘what did he do to get you so angry?’ The dam had been broken, and you found yourself venting all your frustrations on him, from his insults to how it affected you, it was all released. The look of horror on the ginger’s face made you feel somewhat satisfied. You were a bit surprised when he apologized so heartfeltly, he genuinely looked appalled at his own behavior for once. It was only a few weeks later when things took a turn. Ace was sleeping at your dorm, and the two of you were hanging out when he asked an out of pocket question; ‘do you wanna kiss?’ It was late, he was too tired to keep his filter up, and gosh did you look kissable (it was the main reason why he was teasing you in the first place). Against your better judgment, you agreed. The kiss was awkward, neither of you sure how far to go, but you’re kinda angry at how much you liked it.
“...you’re better at that than I thought…n-not that I think of kissing you or anything-”
˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ Jack Howl
You watched the weirdo in front of you with a blank face, wishing you could be anywhere but there. This guy decided he wanted to flirt with you, and he was doing it in the worst way possible. I mean who tries to pick someone up by asking to kiss them outright? You kept glancing at Jack, who stood intimidatingly next to you, buff arms crossed as he glared at the guy, but made no move to say anything. You felt a sneer fall over your lips unconsciously as the guy continued to try and shoot his shot, couldn’t he see he was getting nowhere? You tried to let him down nicely before, so this time you decided to be more blunt, stating that you weren’t interested and you don’t just go out kissing people. That was when the guy lashed out, crying out about how you were a jerk, that you were just like everyone else who only cared about themselves. It was when he looked like he was reaching out for you, and you flinched back for Jack to step in (quite literally). Standing in front of you his glare turned dangerous, fangs showing as he snarled, telling the guy to get lost. The both of you finally relaxed when the guy scrambled to get away, leaving you with the wolf beastman. ‘Thank you,’ You muttered, leaning up and kissing him on the cheek. A smug smile tugged at your lips as Jack glanced away, a soft pink dusting his tanned cheeks. ‘Oh, did I miss?’ you teased, eyes catching the way his ear twitched. So, as the merciful person you were, you leaned up and left a small, short, gentle kiss to his lips.
“Hm, i-if you find yourself in need of help, d-don’t be afraid to come to me.”
˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ Floyd Leech
You had already found yourself in a tough predicament. You were in the clutches of Floyd Leech when he was in a bad mood. Sure, he was the one who sought you out to squeeze, but you wanted to make sure you didn’t make it worse in any way. So you resigned yourself to your fate as his personal human plushie as he squeezed you from time to time, burying his face in your neck as he grumbled on unintelligently about one thing and another. You brushed your hands through his hair, placing small kisses to the top of his head here and there, feeling relieved as he started to melt in your hold, teeth scraping against your skin as he smiled. You shivered at the sensation, hair on end once more. ‘Oh shrimpy~’ he cooed, giggling like a mad man, face suddenly very much in your own. ‘I wanna kiss’. The request was simple, blunt, but it still left you reeling. You weren’t sure why, in fact, you should be surprised it took so long for him to ask for one, but you still found your eyes widening and breath hitching at the spontaneity of it all. You weren’t sure if you’d ever get used to it (you suppose that was the appeal to Floyd). You could barely get out the words okay before Floyd pressed his lips to yours in a harsh manner, teeth clashing, lips being bit, hand on the back of your head so you couldn’t pull away. In fact, he wouldn’t stop kissing you, it seemed like forever until he finally got his fill.
“Hehe, you better watch out shrimpy~ I’m already craving another.”
˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ Epel Felmier
Your eyes widened as you eyed the intricately carved apple, turning it around to catch every detail. You weren’t sure what you did to deserve such a gift, but you were flattered nonetheless, your eyes finally raising up to meet Epel’s cyan ones. He looked bashful, cheeks tinted a light pink, eyes unable to meet your own. He tripped over his words, trying to make an excuse, stating that no one else was around so you might as well have it (you’ll ignore the fact that there were, in fact, people swarming around the cafeteria like flies). Without a second thought, you gave him a short peck on the cheek and continued business as usual. It wasn’t until Epel kept doing things for you, something that had only recently started. Epel…wasn’t mean by any means, but he also wasn’t one to help someone from the kindness of his heart. Sure, he’d do something for you before while complaining a ton, but recently he had been doing things without you even asking! It was strange, and he always seemed expectant afterwards, like he was expecting you to do something. Not to mention the little pout he thought he hid when you didn’t seem to do what he was anticipating. So, you decided to confront him, asking him outright what he wanted. Of course, he deflected, stating that he didn’t want anything and you were being crazy. A claim he wasn’t able to hide behind for long as you pointed out all the strange ways he’s been acting. Face burning red, Epel turned away, trying to keep his composure, but you seemed to be determined to break it. Your serious gaze locked onto his figure, there was no getting away from this now. And so, he admitted meekly that he wanted a kiss, and who were you to deny him? With a playful grin, you placed a kiss to his lips, reveling in the way he pushed against you like he was desperate (he had been waiting for this for so long). Pulling away, you teased that he only needed to ask if he wanted another kiss.
“I-I…d-damn, fine…do ya think we could do that again?”
˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ Silver Vanrouge
A warm breeze tousled Silver’s white locks, his steel grey eyes hidden behind his shut eyelids. His head rested in your lap, face pressed into your thighs. Squirrels and song birds fluttered around you, a small chickadee nestled on the top of your head. It was peaceful, a nice change of pace from your usual chaotic days. As beautiful as the scenery was around you, with green grass fluttering in the wind and colorful flowers swaying about, your gaze couldn’t help but fall down to the occupant in your lap. How his lashes kissed his cheeks, how the sun made his hair shine, how soft his skin was under the pads of your fingers. Silver has become the most breathtaking sight in your eyes, and the bird that roosted in your hair seemed to agree as it let out a soft series of cheeps that smoothed into a blissful melody. You couldn’t help but think about how much better your life has become once he entered your life, how sweet and protective he was, how sassy he could be when his father made an offer to cook. You had come to love all his quirks, how he could drift off to sleep in even the loudest environment or how he’d try to stay up just for you. Unable to hold your affections in for much longer, you placed a kiss against his cheek, heart fluttering when Silver’s lips tugged into a smile. So what else would you do besides lavish his face in sweet kisses? His eyes fluttered open, and you couldn’t help the huge grin that fell on your lips as he looked up at you affectionately. You greeted him with a kiss to the corner of his lips, a cheesy good morning following. The way he stared at you made your heart flutter and stomach tie in knots, but you wouldn’t have it any other way. Sleepily, Silver followed your lips without a second thought connecting them in a warm kiss before pulling away sharply, eyes wide as he apologized for not asking for consent, only to be shut up by your lips meeting once more.
“So it's not a dream…thank you.”
˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ Sebek Zigvolt
You felt your eye twitch, trying your hardest to keep your composure. It felt like one step forward ten steps backwards when it came to Sebek. You thought you’d finally got to him in some way, only for him to be shouting at you once more for the same thing the next day. Which was happening right now, with him yelling at you about being some lowly human. Just the other day you had a one on one about how those comments hurt you, and he seemed to genuinely understand, so why the hell was he shouting at you again. You had tried throwing insults back, you had tried communicating like a mature person, you had even slapped him once and stormed away in tears! What the hell did you need to do to get through to this hard headed crocodile? Your glare turned sharp as Sebek continued, rambling on about one thing or another. Your exasperation taking over, you grabbed his tie, pulling his face close to yours as you sneered. You were so upset, you didn’t even notice how your noses were touching, instead tearing into Sebek instead. You also didn’t realize how Sebek turned silent, golden green eyes locked onto your figure, cheeks slowly but surely turning bright red. You let out a huff as your rant ended, raising an eyebrow at the half fae’s current state, then suddenly it clicked and an evil grin upturned your lips. Curling your fingers around his tie, you inched your face even closer (somehow), lips hovering over the other. You debated if you should do the evil thing, pull away and leave him hanging, but you also had the urge to kiss him stupid…letting your own desires win, you pushed your lips together in a heated kiss. Sebek was stiff as a board, but slowly melted into the kiss, only for you to pull away, biting his lip in the process.
“Wh-where are you going, human! You cannot k-kiss a knight and walk away without an explanation! H-hey! W-wait up-”
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gguk-n · 3 months ago
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Hey so i was listening to boyfriend by Johnny orlando - and i was wondering if you could do a plot where lando just kept the reader around because he likes the idea of her because she is so giving and understanding and like she worships him but he doesn’t find her the most beautiful woman so he is easily distracted and kind of embarrassed to take her out in public and the reader understands it but in a negative way as if she is not enough for him and she leave him but when she does lando understands her importance and he wants to make it right
With a happy ending?! Am i asking too much
You can totally ignore it if you dont like the idea . Much love ♥️
Thanks for the request!! I might've taken some liberties with the request but I've tried to stay as true to it as I could. A lot of angst.
TW- Separation anxiety, panic attack
Girlfriend
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The first time Lando met Y/N was at a club, he was celebrating one of Max's wins. The club was crowded and packed to the brim, he had had a couple shots and was nursing a glass of whiskey, he wasn't sure how he ended up with when a girl approached him. She was average, but he didn't mean it in a bad way since he was probably average to most people. She tapped his shoulder to get his attention; "I know this isn't the place people ask people out on a date but will you go out with me?" she asked loudly. Lando was amused by her confidence, "I don't even know your name, sweetheart" he whispered in her ear. A shiver ran down Y/N's back, "I'm Y/N. You're hot and I don't think I would approach you if I was completely sober" she giggled. "Why not?" Lando asked puzzled, ""Sober me isn't this confident" she beamed. "hmm...I think I would like to get to know drunk and sober you" Lando said making the girl smile. She fumbled around in her purse and pulled out her business card which had her name, phone number and email with the company she worked at, at the back. "Here. Call me or text me" she said placing the card in his palm and winking before she left.
Lando thought about it for a couple days, he liked her confidence. So, he texted her. That's how they had started dating. Initially, Y/N didn't know who Lando was; even though Lando had thought she was someone who knew who he was and asked him out. Initially, Lando planned on dating her for a while just because no one had asked him out before. But as days turned into weeks and weeks into months; Lando started to grow dependent on her. Even though Y/N didn't know about Lando's career in the beginning; she knew about Formula One more than most drivers or the FIA combined. She read up on all the races and all the teams and all the drivers. She wanted to make a good impression on all the people who surrounded Lando.
To her, Lando was a beacon of light in dark times. He needed her just like she needed him, at least that's what she thought. Y/N always had separation anxiety and since she started dating Lando, it had grown exponentially and the thought of losing Lando would send her on a downward spiral. Lando had no idea how dependent Y/N had grown to him. To Lando, she was someone he started dating because she asked him out but eventually grew used to having around. He liked the ego boost she gave him, she wouldn't get tired of singing praises about him or bragging about how great Lando was in the 2 years that they had been dating. Lando loved the commodity that came with having a girlfriend that was at your beck and call.
Lando wasn't a very outwardly affectionate person towards Y/N, ever. So, Y/N chalked it up to everyone is different and some people don't like PDA. Sometimes, it irked her. Because, she would notice him being affectionate with his friends but holding her hand was foreign to him. He never went public with her, leaving the people to speculate what was going on between them. Sometimes, the voices in her head would get louder and tell her Lando didn't really love her but he always said he loved her, so those voices were wrong, she told herself.
It was at a McLaren work event, there were a lot of sponsors present. She saw Lando interact with people, her eyes never leaving him or dimming down as they sparkled watching him talk to people. One of the sponsors, a woman a few years older than Lando, left a sour taste in her mouth. Her hands lingered on his for an uncomfortable amount of time but she pushed those thoughts aside and placed herself in between them to ease the tension.
Then at a race weekend, she had decided to ask Carlos to make her some coffee since his coffee always helped with her headache. Carlos was currently talking to Lando near the Ferrari hospitality. She didn't mean to eves drop but she happened to hear the conversation between them; "I mean, she's great and all but some of the models that approach me or some of the celebrities that come to the races, they are gorgeous. Y/N , she's okay. She works a 9 to 5, I don't expect her to be Anne Hathaway or anything" Lando told Carlos. The pounding in Y/N's head had gotten louder, she turned around and headed back to Lando's driver's room.
The way back felt tortuous, her breathing had gotten uneven. She felt it, the last time she had a panic attack was so long ago. Lando gave her so much comfort, she felt so loved always but right now, she felt like nothing made sense. As she closed the door, her breathing was ragged, she had fallen down on the floor on her knees, tears streaming as every voice in her head started chanting; you're not special, look he's bored of you, you're not pretty, who would want you? you're too much, you're too clingy, Lando doesn't love you. Y/N buried her nails in her palms as she tried to shut the voices down. Her head was pounding and her vision had blurred with all the tears running down her face. She crawled up to find a paper and pen. She wiped her tears off and just like she would try to get over her panic attacks before, she started writing on the paper in capital letters. LANDO LOVES ME. LANDO NORRIS LOVES ME. She found herself chanting that as she tried to even out her breathing. After a couple of minutes, the ringing in her ears and the pounding in her head had subsided. The papers lay sprawled on the floor. She pushed herself up on the sofa in the room. It took a while but she was back.
Lando had noticed his girlfriend's absence. Y/N knew she wouldn't be able to sit here for long. She told one of Lando's mechanic's before leaving, not having the heart to face Lando. A few minutes after she boarded a taxi, Lando texted her to get some sleep and that he'd be back after free practice.
Y/N couldn't help but think about all the times Lando wouldn't tell people about her or conveniently forget to introduce her. All those times stuck out to her like a sour thumb. She felt so many emotions and the biggest of them all was anxiety that Lando didn't truly love her. Y/N shut down that day, like she always did whenever things got too difficult. She didn't talk to Lando, saying that she wasn't well or go to the races the entire weekend.
They flew back home together, Y/N was too quite the whole time making Lando uncomfortable with the silence. Back home, she quietly started to clean up the house, trying mustering up courage to talk to Lando about how she had been feeling. But she couldn't really muster up enough courage. Lando could sense something was wrong but whenever he would try to bring it up, she would just brush him off.
A few days of silent treatment on her part and Lando was going mad. "Baby, Y/N, is everything okay?" Lando asked his girlfriend who was sat reading a book. "Yeah" she nodded not even looking up. "You've been acting strange since we came back" he pointed out. Y/N placed the book down and looked at Lando with tears in her eyes, "What happened?" Lando asked cupping her cheeks. "I think we should take a break" she whispered. "Why?" he asked. "I just...I need time. I...I feel like..." she stuttured, "too dependent on you. My separation anxiety is at an all time high, I can't lose you, I'm scared I'll lose you, so, it's better to distance ourselves" she thought but no words left her house. "I need time. I don't think we're right for each other" she finally mustered out. Lando's hands dropped to her side. "You don't mean that?" he stuttured. "Yes I do" she breathed out. "I think I'll leave" she said getting up. "To where?" he asked. "I think I need time for myself Lando" she mumbled as she left to pack her stuff.
Her brain was on autopilot, she packed up her stuff even though she didn't want to. "Bye Lando" she said walking towards the door, "I've always loved you, I don't think I'll ever stop" she thought as she shut the door. Lando was stood there shocked at what had just transpired.
The days after Y/N left, things at Lando's house or for Lando were different. He was quick to feel her absence from the moment he woke up to the moment he fell asleep. Every little thing he did or thought about doing was plagued by Y/N and how she would do it for him.
The next race weekend, Lando couldn't focus. Everyone saw, from the fans to the engineers; everyone saw how Y/N's absence was affecting Lando. It was his dad who sat him down after the race and decided to talk to him, "What's up Lando?" he asked. "Nothing dad" he forced a smile. "I know Y/N not being here is affecting you. Did you two fight?" he prodded. Lando sighed, "Kind of, she said she wants a break" Lando said. "oh, what about you? What do you want?" he questioned. "I....I" he breathed in, "I want her" he told his dad finally. "Than tell her. Talk it out, if you two can't see eye to eye than their's nothing left. But don't regret never having tried" his dad advised. Lando perked up at his dad's words.
Lando was able to contact Y/N soon since she hadn't blocked him anywhere. They planned to meet up at a local cafe, after a lot of insistence on Lando's part.
The day they were gonna meet came, Lando dressed up. He got there early and waited for Y/N to walk in to the cafe. When she did, he couldn't help but smile. But when he tried to hug her, she cut him off. She took the seat opposite to him.
"Hey" Lando broke the silence. Y/N was sat playing with her hands and without looking up, "hi" she replied slowly. "Y/N, can you look at me? I just...I miss you. Please can we talk about this?" he said, "About us" he spoke pointing in between them. She finally looked up, her eyes were teary. "I miss you too" she mumbled. "Than come back. I love you baby" Lando stated. "I don't know Lando. I just feel like maybe we aren't meant to be" she muttered while picking at her skin. "Bullshit, you're the only person who was ever meant for me" Lando stated. "All these days away from you made me realise that. I love you not just because of having you around but because it's you. I need you in my life" Lando explained. "But you could have anyone. Any model, any pretty girl. I just... Lan" she broke down, "I feel like I'm not good enough for you. I've seen you with people and how affectionate you are and than when it comes to me, you're the completely opposite. I feel like I'm not important to you" she sobbed. "No, baby, you are the most important person to me. I'm sorry, I never tried to show it. I was stupid, please give me another chance. Let me show you how much I love you. Please" Lando begged holding on to her hands. "Lando, I'm scared of losing you. I can't always live with the thought of losing you" she explained pulling her hands away. "Let me show you. I'll do better I promise." Lando said determined. "Give me one chance. I won't disappoint you" Lando pleaded. Y/N thought about it; she still loved Lando and she couldn't let him go just yet. So, she nodded. "Thank you. I love you Y/N. I'll do everything to show you how important and loved you are" Lando stated with a big smile and got up from his chair and leaned in to peck her lips. "I love you" he reiterated pulling away. "I love you too" Y/N said finally looking Lando in the eyes.
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gb-patch · 6 months ago
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GB Patch Games: Sensitivity Reader Update
Okay, well I am able to make another statement before Rose does. I can now explain much more easily why I didn’t fire Rose. There’s been new developments with the leakers. The people behind this have doxed Rose’s discord account (please don’t go looking for it) and also shared a screenshot of an email that was sent to my support address months ago. They believe that incriminates us somehow, but really all it’s done is shown in broad daylight what they were doing and why I was defending Rose so much. If I had brought up that email as a connection to this myself people understandably would’ve thought I was making a conspiracy.
However, it is out now. Here is the story- a few months ago someone who wanted to remain anonymous sent me an email with a screenshot where Rose called me a cracker. And I told them I appreciated the concern but it’s alright, was there evidence of Rose being unkind to players? They had nothing. No response.
As an aside, yes, I have been aware for a long time that Rose uses crude language when talking about me. That doesn’t mean I’ve hidden how evil they were from players. It means I’m allowed to choose what I’m comfortable with. That original “reveal” didn’t shock or upset me in any way. Our Life is a sensitive, wholesome game, but I’m a full-grown adult. I’m not innocent or pure. The game I released before OL is XOXO Blood Droplets. Something I wrote and released to the public is full of crude jokes, curse words, and violence. It’s cartoonish and comical, but edgy. Rose themselves likes to BS with bad words and I’m not accepting abuse because I think getting called a pussy is funny. I know Rose doesn’t hate me or wish me any harm. Rose also isn’t causing “discourse” for me and my games on purpose, they were joking that bringing up serious topics is “discourse” to some people. Ironically, the leakers who did this are trying to make some “discourse” on purpose.
Regardless, I initially thought that email was from someone earnestly worried for me and that they moved on when it was clear I was fine. But that’s not what happened. Them and at least one other person have been waiting for months to bring this up again. They went through almost a year’s worth of Rose’s private posts to collect as many unflattering screenshots as they could, and then they didn’t send them to me. They posted them publicly. I had a suspicion from the get go that it was the same person/people from before who couldn’t prove anything to me in private. And if true, how horrible is it that a bunch of the comments they shared were crude language towards me, something they already knew I’d brush off as nothing. They decided for me that it was wrong and they wanted the rest of the players to do the same. Or even less charitably, those extra posts were simply there to make Rose look as bad and untrustworthy as possible and they didn’t care that I was comfortable with it. I could not explain everything we were thinking/feeling at first, but behind the scenes we were discussing how this was personally motivated and not a knee-jerk act without forethought. And we do know for certain at least the main people involved now, and they do have personal issues with Rose.
Also, if you still believe that they just wanted to help the game at any length because Rose is that huge of a risk, showing that email and framing something innocuous about me (not fainting at the word “cracker” and politely being open to more proof) as serious “evidence of wrongdoing” at GB Patch Games makes me believe they want to smear Rose so bad they’ll try to turn players against me as well. Plus, the post is framed as “this email was anonymously sent to me”, but we know from account details that the people who could’ve gotten those screenshots of the discord and email are the same people who sent that email and started this situation, which is embarrassing. I’ve confirmed the screenshots shared in the email to me and the original public post came from the same private, “venting-safe” discord server. There’s very few people in there. We know it’s still you and not a separate source. I can’t prove they think I’m stupid or in their way, but I can’t see how anything they’re doing is trying to be beneficial to the creation of OL: NF. They told me in the email they’d give me more evidence if I requested it and I was ready to know, but instead they went silent for months and then did this.
I want it to be clear that this doesn’t mean players can’t wonder if Rose has enough experience to be a sensitivity reader right now, or to worry they’re so invested in the game that it’s going to effect how objective they are with their feedback, or to say that Rose is flawless and has never done anything hurtful. However, I hope you can understand why I was on Rose’s side and couldn’t just fire them over this. It felt so incredibly unfair. If another person tries to get their way by doing this in the future, I will not hail them as a hero and immediately fire at the target. And I don't tolerate any racial harassment of any kind to anyone on my team.
If those people want to continue to share Rose’s private posts in retaliation, you can fuck off. If you somehow reveal now that Rose is secretly a murderer, I’m not gonna apologize and say I was so wrong about you. If you had tons of evidence of Rose being horrible to players, you should’ve sent it all to me and with full context to begin with in the email like you offered to do. I just don’t understand.
Any players who like to see someone’s least flattering points portrayed in the worst possible way and continue flocking to the leaks as fandom drama, I don’t want you in this fandom. I don’t want you to enjoy my games.
Anyone who has been truly hurt by this and are left confused and angry, I do completely understand that. I didn’t know how to handle this, and it made a lot of people not know how to keep trusting me. I am still looking into getting a community manager to help me better communicate with players, especially when something serious happens. And I’ll always be around for you to reach out to if you have doubts about anything.
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astrxbtchs · 8 months ago
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☆⋆。𖦹°‧★ (𝐌𝐨𝐬𝐭𝐥𝐲) 𝐒𝐲𝐧𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐲/𝐀𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐨 𝐎𝐛𝐬𝐞𝐫𝐯𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 ☆⋆。𖦹°‧★
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𓆩♡𓆪 Unrequited synastry can be seen with vertex making hard aspects to the moon. Since vertex is an angular placement, it will be felt by the vertex person. The vertex person is affected by the planet person more bc they are the source of energy that the vertex is being activated with. With a moon square vertex for example, the moon person will provoke deep emotions out of the vertex person simply because they activate this energy from them. They feel more because that energy is invoked out of them, causing intense emotions.
It reminds me of this for some reason:🧍🏾‍♀️-> > >🧍🏾‍♀️ Basically the person on the left (moon person) naturally projecting their energy onto the person on the right (vertex person) and the vx taking it all in and becoming heavily affected. You can tell a bit how that vertex angle can be a bit one sided ***I really hope you understand this interpretation lol this is just how my brain computes things for me to understand it. I hope it helps
𓆩♡𓆪 Another unrequited aspect could be Neptune Square/Opposition to mercury. This can show lies and deception being told by the Neptune person. Communication exchanged between the two can be very hazy and difficult to understand, as if you never know where you stand with this person and words are easily misinterpreted and taken the wrong way. There's feeling as if you can't completely let your guard down or trust this person, for fear that they may be lying to you.
** experiencing synastry with mercury in the 12th can feel the same way.
S/N, please let me know if you guys want a whole post on my observations/opinions of unrequited synastry in a chart. I have a lot of ideas on this so tell me if that is something you would be interested in ;)
𓆩♡𓆪 Keep in mind when looking at synastry aspects, that the aspects with 6 degrees or tighter are really the ones you need to really be paying attention to. When aspects get too wide in a synastry chart the overall energy of it is dimmed and doesn't affect the connection as much as closer orbs.
𓆩♡𓆪 Having Chiron in the 3rd house is constantly being self-conscious about how you communicate with others and always looking back on the embarrassing/awkward encounters with others and inwardly cringing
𓆩♡𓆪 Every Capricorn rising and Sag rising are naturally popular and will always have a group of friends. A Sag rising will naturally attract people to them with the bright aura they exude. People will want to be around Capricorn risings to feel like they are "in", these people have the influence of power and overall give a status image that people like to attach to so they can feel that way as well.
𓆩♡𓆪 I feel Capricorn risings are one of the few in the ascendant signs that can come close to rivaling the intensity a Scorpio rising has. Imagine these two in a room seeing who can gain the most control over the other first lol. I can only imagine if in romantic attraction this connection is INSATIABLE because neither of them would want to give in to each other first. I feel they both put each other on edge.
𓆩♡𓆪 I know we talk about the 1st house/ascendant for our looks but can we talk about the 10th house also playing a big role in our outward appearance as well. 10th house talks about our representation to the world that we have the best ability to control, whereas 1st house is unconsciously there on display.
𓆩♡𓆪 (ANY) Virgo placements will go through the most traumatizing experience ever and you would never know because they will appear so put together. Or they will act so unfazed as if they didn’t just tell you the most life altering moment they just went/lived through.
**if you are a virgo rising my heart really goes out to you. I can't imagine living my life in a state of complete psychoanalysis of everything. Almost as if your mind can take over you a lot because of the constant examination of every single thing going on in your life, I know that can be quite exhausting. Y'all are so strong🫶🏾
𓆩♡𓆪 Are you a master manipulator or do you just have mercury in 7th or mercury in Gemini/Libra?
𓆩♡𓆪 I don't understand why people don't give credit to how BINDING moon in the 10th house synastry can be!!! Romantically, this synastry gets the rep of being cold and detached, which is true in a sense. In the beginning, expressing emotions to each other can feel uncomfortable and awkward, causing for a slow burn relationship to form. (often times it fizzles out) Once these people get over that hump and are able to trust one other to fully open up it is absolutely BEAUTIFUL. This is the house of Saturn so when feelings get involved here they rarely go away since they take so long to form. Saturn is not into the act of letting go of things at all and is often life long. If a breakup has occurred with this synastry those feelings will simmer within you forever, and its damn near impossible to forget about them. This will probably be one of those contacts that will hurt the most and you will feel for a long time.
𓆩♡𓆪 Lilith in the 7th and Pisces Venus have a tendency to choose people that they know are not good for them. For both placements, the danger of what a person could do to them is like a drug. It is not uncommon for these people to find themselves in relationship scandals and affairs. Whether they are the ones doing the cheating or the other way around, they will most likely experience both situations.
- Lilith in the 7th choose the wrong people because they are attracted to passionate toxicity.
-Pisces Venus often choose the wrong people because of an idealized version they have created or because they think they are able to fix a person. 
**if you have both of these placements, may god be with you 🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾
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𓆩♡𓆪 Venus in the 3rd house synastry is most likely someone you met online, in school, close to your home or places you frequent. It will be so easy for these people to find anything in the world to talk about. They have similar interests and love the same things, although they could talk for days and not get to anything beneath the surface. They like to keep things lighthearted so if there are any issues they are experiencing with one another they tend to avoid it to not ruffle the feathers of one another and keep things peaceful, passive aggression can be a thing here. Romantically, this will be a person you will not be able to get off your mind, you will constantly be thinking of each another throughout your day. You might not even know how much this person actually thinks of you because things can come off so surface level, feelings may not be discussed.
𓆩♡𓆪 Sun/Venus is the 2nd house synastry can either boost your confidence or completely destroy it. Can also be an indicator of gold digger/sugar baby placement. The 2nd house person will be completely enamored by the sun/venus person. It will be easy for the sun/venus person to trust the 2nd house person. The 2nd house person can tend to view the sun/venus person as a object. Often wanting to spend money on them to make them happy. More so with the Venus here, the 2nd house person loves to spend money on them to make them look physically appealing. This will be the person buying you clothes, shoes, hairstyles and they even LOVE buying you food. Dinner dates are a MUST.
𓆩♡𓆪 Mars in the 2nd house synastry is ultimate marriage material. If you have this with someone its soo good for long-term partnerships. These too will not be able to keep their hands off each other, they are so sexually appealing to one another it will be so hard. The mars person will love to be the provider for the second house person. They will be the one to go out and work multiple jobs if they have to just to get the second house person everything they want, and they will love to do it. This couple will be SUPER sensual together. ⋇⊶⊰��⊱⊷⋇ ⋇⊶⊰❣⊱⊷⋇⋇⊶⊰❣⊱⊷⋇ ⋇⊶⊰❣⊱⊷⋇⋇⊶⊰❣⊱⊷⋇ ⋇⊶⊰❣⊱⊷⋇ ♡ Thank you babes for reaching this point, love youssss♥️ If you enjoyed I would love any feedback any you have experienced any of these placements ;) I hope you like the longer, more in-depth posts. What would you guys like to see next?
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fangswbenefits · 2 years ago
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Tiny Spider
𓂅 𓄹 Summary: Your daughter has a few questions, and you suspect Miguel might just open a portal to another dimension.
𓂅 𓄹 Pairing: Miguel O'Hara x spider-woman!reader
FLUFF. No warnings. Just ‘how are babies made’ and 'where do babies come from’ with Miguel and his daughter :)
"I can sense you, tiny spider."
Your eyes darted upwards only to find your daughter of six dangling from the celining by a single thread, wobbling slightly from side to side.
She stuck out her tongue, visibly distraught that she got caught.
"It's time to eat something. Come down now," you urged, pointing to the empty seat at the table.
As stubborn as her father, she wasn't easily convinced and merely dropped a little lower until she eye-leveled with both of you.
"I think Mayday is a terrible influence," you said. "Don't you think, Miguel?"
He was giving her the glare, but it wasn't enough. "No webs at the table."
"But, papá—”
Miguel remained unmoved. She wouldn't win this battle, but he wouldn't either unless you interveened.
"Eat your breakfast," you told her once again, sipping your herbal tea.
She was getting the hang of physics and motion, but it would take her a while to do so effortlessly and gracefully.
Swinging lightly, she managed to flip her feet down and land on the chair nearby.
Now the three of you could finally enjoy breakfast peacefully.
"Where did I come from?"
Miguel instantly frozen and you nearly dropped your cup of tea.
You offered her an understanding look, unsure of how to approach the topic. It's a topic that is bound to be brought up sooner or later, but one that both you and Miguel would rather have to touch later rather than sooner.
"What do you think?" you asked, exchanging a glance with Miguel who looked like he was one second away from imploding.
"Uncle Hobie said a big spider brought me here," she said excitedly. "That mamá and papá wanted me, so a big, big spider came here!," she gesticulated enthusiastically, arms up in the air to emphasise the proportions of said creature.
Miguel grunted and pinched the bridge of his nose. "Uncle Hobie... of course."
"Well..."
Her eyes darted from you to Miguel, waiting for confirmation.
You went first. "That's not what happened. Uncle Hobie isn't to be trusted with stuff like this, little spider."
"Or trusted at all," you heard Miguel mumble more to himself.
The thing with children is that they tend to be very expressive and transparent, so the moment you watched her smile drop, you knew something was wrong.
"You... didn't want me?" she whispered, bottom lip quivering into a pout.
"No! I mean - we did!" Miguel promptly rectified. "No big spider brought you here..." his eyes met yours seeking reassurance. "We did."
"That's it?" she asked, resring her elbows on the table and placing her jaw on both palms of her hands.
She looked... unimpressed.
Miguel nodded, chopping an apple into slices with one of his talons so she could have a bite.
"Pffff," she groaned. "Boring!"
Miguel O'hara wasn't one to be left speechless very often, so you figured this had definitely caught him off guard.
"Sometimes the truth can be boring," you said with a chuckle. "But we both really wanted you and that's what matters."
Your daughter didn't seem to care much about that and, in that moment, the flash of defiance and arms crossed in front of her chest reminded you of Miguel.
"So how did you bring me here?"
"Huh..."
Miguel glanced out the window as he cleared his throat.
Did he expect you to tackle this by yourself? He should have known better.
"Your father will be more than glad to explain," you said, leaning back in your seat, earning a death glare from him.
She was growing impatient by the second, eyes fixed on him as if awaiting a bedtime story.
"Go on, Miguel," you teased with a devious smile.
"Tell me, papá!" she suddenly banged both hands on the table. "I want to know!"
Miguel frowned. Deeply. If looks could kill, you reckoned you'd be six feet under by now.
But he wasn't getting off the hook easily.
"When two people like each other very much... that can happen," he said, not bothering with details.
"But how? How?" she was bouncing in her seat at this point.
You gave him an encouraging smile.
He sighed in defeat. "Hmm... I placed a tiny seed inside your mother one day," his voice was gentle and he seemed more confident now. "You grew and grew and, many months later, you were here with us."
It was an easy enough explanation.
But...
"Inside mama?"
"Yes. Like an egg," he said warmly, wrapping his large hand around her tiny one.
"A chicken egg?" she gasped, turning to you and you immediately noticed a front tooth missing already. Kids. "But... I'm not a chicken."
Her genuine innocence was so endearing that you couldn't hold back a chuckle. "Miguel..."
"Maybe I should have said spider egg?"
"Woah! Now that's cool!" she beamed and her eyes widened like a kid who had just been told they could have unlimited supply of candy. "So I'm really a spider!"
"A tiny spider, yes," he said with a faint smile.
Warmth filled your insides at once. Miguel was always meant to be a father. He was just a natural when it came to children.
He suddenly shot a single string of red web to land on the chair where your daughter sat, sliding it closer to him. She burst into laughter from the motion before putting on a forced serious face.
"No webs at the table!" she tried to mimic his tone, her index finger in front of her face.
He planted a soft kiss on it before bringing her into a tight embrance.
"No more hanging around Uncle Hobie unsupervised," he whispered into her ear.
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Masterlist
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heartsteel-heartbeats · 1 year ago
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Heartsteel Kayn relationship HCs!
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No warnings for this one, you may proceed.
(( Psst! Hey! It’s not explicitly listed that you are also a performer, but you are free to assume that! I like leaving stuff open for ya. Also I may have gone a bit overboard… Sorry! )) ~ OBBY 💗
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Before Heartsteel
You’ve been with him before he was kicked out of his old band (maybe even well before he started his music career), so of course, Rhaast was no secret to you. He never was, really. You actually liked Rhaast and loved seeing him just go crazy and do what he wanted without much of a care of the consequences. Kayn figured this is why he was initially drawn to you, because you accepted this part of him.
His band was pretty much the opposite. They held him back extensively because of Rhaast. The situation itself and seeing him lash out time to time made you worried on how much more he could stand being with that group. Some days, you just let him rant to you. You don’t know much on the other members in general besides their names and their roles in the band, but seeing him so frustrated because of them felt like maybe it’s best if you didn’t.
When Kayn did get kicked out, you let him stay around for a bit. A bit eventually became a while. Totally weren’t preparing for this, you made sure there was plenty of room for him. An artist needs his own space after all, though he didn’t exactly pick up his guitar for some time.
It’s been rough for Kayn for a while. He was getting easily irritated over the smallest things and seemed to often get into fights online. You’ve had to keep him off social media more than once before he really made things worse for himself. His reputation has taken quite a hit when he was kicked out, so this was for the best if it means he doesn’t damage further by doing something stupid.
Rhaast, on the other hand, was a bit harder. Rhaast liked to leave a mark, mostly in a physical sense. There were times where you had to stop him from actually getting into serious trouble. It was hard to talk him out of it and sometimes you had to keep him from walking out that door. Doing such a thing did make you feel bad since you’re holding him back almost like his old band did with him, so there were times where you hesitated. Don’t get him wrong though, he knows you’re just worried about his wellbeing.
When he finally did pick up his guitar again, the songs he made were quite clearly targeted towards his old band. Rhaast was going all out and you encouraged that. Of course, these songs never went public for obvious reasons (though Rhaast almost argued with you to upload them somewhere). Hearing songs like these from him were really the one and only times where you can hear just how truly angry he was. Still, you were glad he was letting it out in a way that felt natural to him. Artists letting out their frustrations through songs weren’t uncommon, and most of the ones out there needed to have their listeners read between the lines to understand and see the artist. But you? You didn’t have to. It was all right there in front of you.
Approaching Kayn on the topic itself is rather difficult as he tends to get defensive and dismissive over it, so really, the best you could do was get his mind off of it for a little while. Anything works as long as he was doing something, anything. It didn’t matter what it was.
It’d take quite some time for him to actually come to you for comfort on the matter. When he does though, it was a huge weight off of both of your shoulders. It basically just happened one night, and it was one of those nights for him where his thoughts were keeping him awake. He can’t sleep, you can’t sleep either, so you two just kind of talked for a bit to tire each other out. Eventually, the topic shifts and you can feel his hold on you tighten ever so slightly.
Kayn almost never showed a vulnerable side of him, especially around you. He had his own reasons for that. On the rare occasion that he does, know that it means he trusts you more than anything.
He is happy that you stayed and helped him as long as you did (both being his muse and just supporting him). He makes you aware of it during that night and he does continue to show his appreciation in his own way, whether it’s simply some quality time or even writing a song for you.
Things did eventually calm down and Kayn was beginning to just enjoy doing what he wanted to do again just for the fun of it rather than out of spite. As long as he’s happier now. There’s nothing else to say about his old band.
General stuff between you two
Teasing. So much teasing… He loves your flustered and/or slightly annoyed look when he does it. He finds it adorable.
Kayn can drive but for the love of god never actually let him drive. The chances of getting pulled over and arrested for reckless driving is really high up there. Just let him be in charge of the music, he’ll at least he satisfied with that.
You two still text each other on Discord even if you’re in the same room. He just likes hearing you laugh over what he sends. This does include videos he finds online that he thinks (knows) you’ll laugh to.
Matching hair color! It’s fun, a pain in the ass to get done, but fun. There was a bit of a mess in the bathroom though, and that wasn’t fun to clean.
“Hah! It looks like a murder took place in here!” “I murdered your hair, that’s for sure.” “What?! Are you kidding me? This isn’t the first time you did my hair! It’s perfect!” “Well yeah, but your long hair is gone… I really loved your long hair…” “I mean- It’ll grow back eventually.”
Lunch and dinner sometimes include ordering some food and having it delivered, then eating it in your shared room. Is it healthy food? No, but hey, at least you’re both eating food. If it wasn’t that, then one of you was cooking. Kayn’s cooking is not that bad, but it could be better. Don’t say that though.
Doing each other’s makeup. Although, it started with you wanting to do his and him saying he’ll let you do it if you let him do yours. Now it’s routine.
Playing with his hair. Loves it when you do it. Just him laying his head beside you, or on your chest, with your hands running through his hair. It calms him down and makes him sleepy sometimes. He’ll deny it though.
“Sleepy?” “No.” *literally about to fall asleep* “Sureee.” “Shut up.”
Though there are some nights where one of you can’t fall asleep no matter what you do. Whether it’s insomnia or the other just won’t shut the fuck up (Kayn), at least one of you is still awake. If you feel someone brushing your hair in the middle of the night and giving small pecks, it’s totally not Kayn.
Heartsteel
When Heartsteel found one of his songs and sent him a message, you were okay with him eventually moving in with the group. Kayn has been talking about them for some time, and you think this might be good for him. From what he’s been telling you, these people accept Rhaast. Totally not the one reason why you were okay with it in the first place.
He often texts you about what’s going on and teases you by asking if you miss him. Say no. :) Sometimes complains to you about Yone, but it’s just him being assigned a chore (dish duty).
It does get a bit lonely sometimes now, but he’s happy to be around a group of people that doesn’t push Rhaast away so it doesn’t bother you. Kayn does make up for it by calling you and sometimes dropping by. The second one isn’t often though. Again, gotta keep fans and paparazzi from finding out about your relationship. Although speaking of calls, there were times where you two fell asleep while on call. It usually ends with one of your phones running out of battery.
The group seems to know about you. Yone and Sett has heard of you once or twice, but K’Sante is the one that knows about you the most. According to K’Sante, Kayn talks about you a lot. Ezreal only knows about you cause he got a peak at his phone and saw your name thanks to one of your over night phone calls and he won’t stop asking Kayn about you.
“Dude who’s [name]??? Is that who you’re always talking to all night?” “The hell are you looking in my phone for??!”
Ahem… Kayn did get some relationship advice from K’Sante. Honestly this is exactly why he knows a lot about you from him.
Aphelios only knows about you because of Sett, who then tells Alune.
Kayn tried to keep the music video of Paranoia on the down low so it could surprise you, but he needed to tell you about the dog the moment they picked him up. With that aside, seeing the music video definitely put a smile on your face. He looked like he was having a lot of fun with the new band (you totally saw the Discord calls Aphelios leaked).
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grapejuicebrat · 7 months ago
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because i liked a boy
PAIRING: dark!rafe cameron x reader
SUMMARY: you thought dating rafe was hard. but breaking up was much worse.
WARNINGS: language, death treats, angst, abusive relationship, happy or not happy ending is up to you.
WORD COUNT: 1176
my masterlist
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breaking up with rafe was hard. first of all because it was your idea. you wanted to move on. rafe was happy just where he was. you wanna know what it was? somewhere in the middle of your relationship, when his true colours started to show and hurt, you fell out of love with him and started creating this sort of fantasy in your mind of who you hoped he would eventually become for you and fell in love with that. needless to say, you learned the hard way that people don't become who you want them to, if that's not who they want to be. that’s why you were with rafe for more than 3 years. you wanted to believe that he would change for you but in fact he changed you.
in the beginning of your relationship it was all so innocent. rafe gave you all his attention, every evening you went out on some fancy dinner. daily calls and texts - everything felt like some sort of fairytale. you felt like a princess. you were finally in healthy relationship.
tanneyhill was your second home. you stayed here for a night more often than at your own house but your parents were okay with that. you were safe with your boyfriend, so everything was alright.
you knew from the beginning that rafe uses coke. but again, you closed your eyes and pretended that everything is okay. rafe knows what he is doing. he is older, he is smarter. he makes money so you can relax and don’t have to think about anything. it didn’t effect your relationship, rafe knew how to combine his business and private life. at first that’s how it was.
and than everything changed. step by step. slowly. so you didn’t notice at first.
sometimes he would shout at you. and than rafe would come to you and hug you tightly. he would say that he is sorry and it’s just emotions. of course you forgave me. you believed him. you loved him.
than he wouldn’t even tell you that he is sorry. he shouts at you even when you’re not guilty, but it’s okay. he is just a human who has emotions. you would be okay with that. you would just go to your room or if rafe tells you to leave you just silently leave. and than come back if rafe says so.
two weeks later and you have a bruise on your neck. of course it wasn’t okay but every time you tried to find some shitty excuse like work is stressing him or it was your fault.
of course you understand that it is not okay. and you need to do something about that. you wrote some notes, mentally preparing for some conversation with rafe. you wanted this relationship to work. because you loved rafe and he loved you. maybe. the thing is every time he came home, you were afraid to tell him something, he wouldn’t be happy with. you didn’t know what is coming next.
rafe could easily call you a slut or would tell you that he wanted to fuck another girl but remembered that you’re waiting for him at home. so you need to be thankful for him keeping his dick in his pants. and you know what’s funny? you thanked him for this.
love made you blind. you were thankful for him just coming home. and you were thankful for him not fucking another girl.
you had to get over the fact that you would probably never get an apology from him because in his twisted mind... he'd done absolutely nothing wrong.
you kept running back into his arms because you're settling for what's familiar. you kept holding on, hoping that there's still something there. you missed him because he's all that you know. he's all you're used to... but he's also the reason you kept putting your life on hold. have you ever thought that maybe if you actually let him go, you would finally be able to breathe again?
rafe was asleep and you were crying by his side. part of you wanted him to hear your cries and he would wake up. he would hug you and tell you that everything will be alright. other part wanted to just disappear. you wanted to be all by yourself without those arguments, without those problems.
maybe you are his favorite. so he says. but how many times has he made you feel alone. how many times has he filled your heart with anger and sorrow. how many times have you felt the bitterness. the emptiness. the endless void that leads to nowhere.
the truth is. he is a broken man. and honestly, you're not meant to fix him. you’re not meant to save him. change him or even force him to get his shit together. no. if he doesn't want those things for himself to begin with, then why should you exhaust yourself trying to help him. you can't make someone care. you’re not his mother. and your love is not meant to be drained by redirecting careless grown men towards their glory. you’re better than that. you have your own problems to deal with. and honestly, you have better shit to do.
that’s what you were thinking about months later. that’s what you were thinking about when you were breaking up with rafe. because if you don’t do that now it will be harder to do this later. maybe even unreal.
“rafe, we’re over”
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back to these days, if you knew everything will be like this, you would never break up with rafe. never.
dating him was bad, but break up was worse. rafe always kept an eye on you. not in a sweet way, course no. in a creepy way, like joe goldberg and i mean it. every guy who you ever talked to was missing now. you never met them twice. all because rafe saw them as a danger.
in the beginning he sent you flowers. beautiful, bigger than your whole body bouquets. rafe would go to your house and beg on his knees so you come back to him. of course you wanted to give in and give him a second chance. but in fact you gave him so many chances during your relationship so it wouldn’t be even close to a second chance.
a week later you would receive texts with death threats and something about you being a fucking pussy. you understood that he won’t change. never. rafe would pretend that he is getting better but in fact he’ll be the same old rafe. toxic, dark, manipulative. this relationship would never work.
by now you’re sure you two just weren’t meant to be.
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you: I stayed with you for so long throughout the bullshit because I was torn between not giving up on the person that I loved, and coming to terms with fact that the person that I loved no longer existed inside of the body that I was staring at every day; and I don't give a fuck what anyone says... that's a really difficult and painful thing to wrap your brain around. It takes a while to believe it.
rafe: fuck you. you’re just a fucking pussy. can’t even admit that you never loved me.
and he has no idea how wrong he is. you were ready to break yourself for him. that’s how much you loved this man.
if you would like to be added to my taglist leave a comment or let me know by sending me in my ask!
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fear-is-truth · 5 months ago
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Hello pretty one !!
Can I request the Evans reaction to y/n asking for divorce/ break up?!
Like they have been in a shaky times in their relationship, and one night the reader asks for divorce when they come to the bedroom?
Thanks for doing your best.
Have a nice day.
(pls include James 💋)
𝜗ϱ ┆ BREAKING UP WITH THEM .ᐟ
── THE EVANs ‧ h e a d c a n o n s ೃ࿐
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ft. tate ‧ kit ‧ jimmy ‧ james ‧ kai
⟣ TAGS ‧ SFW | f! reader | angst
a/n: james’ is the most detailed since you specifically asked. no kyle because i’d never break up with him
⟢ 𝐓𝐀𝐓𝐄 𝐋𝐀𝐍𝐆𝐃𝐎𝐍.
Tate would refuse to accept that you’re breaking up with him. the moment you say the words, his face would fall like a lead balloon, but then he’d quickly mask it with an incredulous laugh, shaking his head in disbelief. “you don’t mean that. we love each other,”
he wouldn’t let the breakup go easily, instantly pleading for you to reconsider. Tate would be persistent, even frantic. “i’ll do better, i’ll change,” he’d promise, grabbing your hand with shaking fingers, voice cracking. he’d pull out everything he could think of to get you to stay — recounting memories of when things were good between you, making promises for the future. you’d see the fear in his eyes as he feels you slipping away, and he definitely cry. “don’t you remember how happy we were?”
Tate has major abandonment issues, and feels kind of entitled to you. he’d accuse you of seeing someone else, trying to find any explanation for why you’re leaving. Tate’s mood would fluctuate rapidly, from angry outbursts to tearful apologies.
would resort to manipulation if he feels like he’s losing you.. “you said you’d never leave me. you’re all i have.” he’d use it to pull at your heartstrings, knowing you’ve always been the one person who understood him.
Tate would never stop loving you, never stop trying to be a part of your life, even if it’s just by being in the same space. he’d become fixated on the idea that maybe you just need time to come around. his visits would be quieter, less dramatic, but no less intense. he’d just sit at the edge of your bed, not speaking, just watching.
⟢ 𝐊𝐈𝐓 𝐖𝐀𝐋𝐊𝐄𝐑.
Kit would be stunned by the breakup, initially not even processing what you’re saying. his first reaction would be utter disbelief, brows furrowing as he tries to understand where things went wrong. “wait, what do you mean? we can fix this,” he’d say, voice shaky but calm at first, not fully grasping the finality of the situation.
he has kind of a hero complex, so he’d be the first to blame himself for the relationship ending. he’d try to figure out what he did wrong, even if the breakup wasn’t entirely his fault. “i should have done more,” he’d mutter, eyes downcast, his hands nervously running through his hair. Kit would feel immense guilt, thinking he didn’t do enough to keep the relationship alive. he’d ask if there’s anything he could do to make it right, wanting desperately to fix the situation.
he isn’t the type to beg or become overly dramatic, but there’d be a hint of desperation in his tone when he asks you to reconsider. “please, don’t go. we’ve been through so much together. i love you.” his voice would crack slightly as he says this. Kit wouldn’t pressure you, but you’d feel how much this is breaking him.
Kit is super empathetic, so once the shock wears off, he’d want to understand why you’re breaking up with him. he’d ask you what went wrong, genuinely listening to your reasons, even though it’s tearing him apart inside. he wouldn’t even be angry, just deeply hurt. “i don’t get it… i thought we were happy,” he’d say softly, his voice full of sadness. even though it’s painful, he’d want to know if there’s anything he could do differently. ultimately, Kit would try to respect your decision, even if it breaks him.
Kit has already lost so much — from Alma to Grace, he’s familiar with the pain of being separated from the people he loves. losing you would reopen old wounds, triggering feelings of abandonment that he’s never fully healed from. he’d appear distant in the days following the breakup, finding it hard to accept that someone else he deeply cared for is gone from his life.
family is everything to Kit, and after the breakup, he’d pour himself into being a father. you’d see how much time he spends with Julia and Thomas, using them as a way to cope with the loss. he’d take them on walks, read to them, and try to create a semblance of normalcy. Kit would never let his pain affect his kids.
he wouldn’t disappear from your life completely, especially if you were close. he’d check in on you occasionally, not to win you back, but just to see how you’re doing. Kit cares deeply, and even after the breakup, he’d still want to make sure you’re okay. you’d receive a call from him now and then, something simple like, “hope you’re doing well,” or “i’m here if you ever need anything.”
in all seriousness, why would one even want to break up with Kit Walker ?!!
⟢ 𝐉𝐈𝐌𝐌𝐘 𝐃𝐀𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐍𝐆.
Jimmy would immediately spiral into a drinking binge. he’d be back at the bar, downing drink after drink, drowning the pain and self-loathing in whiskey bottles. he’d stumble back to the caravan late at night, lost in a haze of regret and sadness.
after a few drinks, he’d become incredibly emotional and prone to outbursts. start ranting to his fellow freak show performers, saying things like, “she was the only girl i ever loved.” he’d wear his heart on his sleeve, lashing out at anyone who tried to comfort him.
he’d be plagued with guilt, blaming himself entirely for the breakup. thinking back to every argument, every moment he could have done better, and it would eat him alive. “maybe if i wasn’t such a freak… maybe if i could have given her more.” he’d dwell on his physical differences. Jimmy truly believes that he’s the reason for the breakup—that you deserve someone better.
after the breakup, Jimmy would avoid performing at the freak show for a while. the stage, once a place where he felt pride in who he was, would now feel like a spotlight shining on his failures. he’d skip performances, spending his time holed up in his caravan or wandering the outskirts of town, drunk and aimless. “what’s the point anymore?” he’d say, staring at his gloves or the bottles in front of him.
he would eventually seek comfort from his mother. he’d go to Ethel, disheveled and reeking of alcohol, collapsing into her arms like a lost child. “i messed it all up, ma,” he’d say, tears spilling down his face as she strokes his hair, trying to console him. she’d try to get him to see that it wasn’t all his fault (and she’d not-so-secretly resent you), but Jimmy would struggle to believe it.
if you ever had to interact with Jimmy after the breakup, especially if you were still part of the freak show, he’d still overprotective of you like when you were together. even though you’d broken up, he’d still feel the need to keep an eye on you. if someone else tried to get close to you, Jimmy would bristle with jealousy. he wouldn’t confront you directly, but there’d be a quiet possessiveness in his demeanor. “i’m just looking out for her,” he’d tell himself, still struggling to accept that he doesn’t have you anymore.
⟢ 𝐉𝐀𝐌𝐄𝐒 𝐏𝐀𝐓𝐑𝐈𝐂𝐊 𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐂𝐇.
at first, James wouldn’t truly believe you were serious. in his mind, love—especially his love—is eternal. he’d be utterly bewildered by the concept that you’d want to leave him. “darling, you must be jesting,” he’d say with a tight smile, trying to brush it off as a fleeting moment of dissatisfaction.
he’d offer to “discuss” your concerns over a drink, trying to charm you back into his arms with smooth words and promises. “surely, my love, this is just a passing phase,” he’d say in that honeyed voice, suggesting you take some time apart to reconsider. he’d always be trying to hold the power, coaxing you to rethink your decision.
James is a master manipulator, and he’d play every card to try to win you back. he’d remind you of the luxury and life he’s given you, the way he’s treated you like royalty. “who else could give you such a life, my sweet? no one can love you as i do,” he’d declare confidently, attempting to convince you that leaving him is a mistake.
though James is normally composed, beneath his refined exterior is a deep well of rage. you’d see the calm facade crack ever so slightly, especially if he feels he’s truly losing control. his eyes would harden, jaw clenching.
if charm and manipulation both fail, James would escalate to grand romantic gestures to try to win you back. expect lavish gifts—clothes, jewellery, flowers, extravagant dinners from him.
when James realises you are serious about leaving him, he wouldn’t hesitate to drop his dignified, grandiose demeanor and fall to his knees. like with Elizabeth, he’d be utterly desperate, pleading with you to stay. “my love, you must reconsider. you cannot leave me,” he’d beg like the pathetic simp that he is.
he would quickly spiral into anger and violence, not just at you but at the entire hotel. his fury would be unleashed on the guests of the Cortez—he’d go on a killing spree, brutally murdering any unfortunate souls he comes across. his anger wouldn’t be directed at you but rather at his own inability to control the situation. his murder spree would serve as an outlet for his pain and frustration.
on the other hand, James might swing to the opposite extreme, abstaining from killing altogether. you’re his greatest passion, and if he loses you, nothing would hold meaning anymore—not even murder, which is his hobby. he’d shut himself in his office, pacing, sipping whiskey, and brooding. his hands would shake with the need to kill, but his grief would overpower it. “i cannot do this without her,” he’d murmur to himself, staring blankly into the fireplace.
as a last resort, James would do something extreme to keep you, especially if he feels like there’s no other way. in his mind, death isn’t the end—it’s just another stage of your relationship. he’d definitely try to trap you in the cortez with him forever, orchestrating events to lead to your death so you can stay by his side eternally. “if i cannot have you in life, then we shall be together in death,” he’d say with a somewhat sinister smile.
no matter how much time passes, James would never stop loving you—or at least his version of love. to him, you are his soulmate, and he would remain in the belief that you’ll return to him eventually. he’d likely continue sending you gifts and dinner invitations, convinced that it’s only a matter of time before you realise he’s the only one for you. his devotion to you is eternal, obsessive, and inescapable.
⟢ cult leader .ᐟ 𝐊𝐀𝐈 𝐀𝐍𝐃𝐄𝐑𝐒𝐎𝐍.
Kai would immediately reject the idea of a breakup. he’d try to convince you that it’s just a rough patch, something that can be fixed if you were both willing to “work on it.” he’d speak with a calm and patronising tone, acting like he’s the voice of reason. “this is all in your head. you’re overreacting as usual,”
once he realises you’re serious, Kai would turn to guilt-tripping, framing the breakup as an act of betrayal. “after everything i’ve done for you? after all we’ve built together?” as he paints himself as the victim. Kai has a knack for making you feel responsible for his emotions, and he’d use this to make you second-guess your decision. he’d make it seem like you’re abandoning him at a critical moment, especially when he’s in the middle of his movement.
if manipulation doesn’t work (smart you!), Kai would escalate to more aggressive tactics. he’d get angry—like really angry. his voice would rise, and start pacing or slamming objects around to intimidate you. “you think you can just walk away from me?!” his eyes would burn with fury, and there’s a good chance he’d lash out verbally, calling you weak, ungrateful, or a stupid bitch for thinking you can survive without him. he wouldn’t hurt you physically (yet)
Kai has a god complex, and losing control of you would feel like a personal attack on his sense of superiority. he’d go on a long, impassioned rant about how you’re making the biggest mistake of your life, how he’s the only one who can truly understand and protect you. “you’ll come crawling back when the world chews you up and spits you out,” he’d sneer. perhaps weave in a few conspiracy theories or grand ideas about the future, making it seem like you’re betraying some higher cause by leaving him.
even after you break up with him, Kai wouldn’t let you out of his orbit so easily. he’d watch you closely, making sure you don’t stray too far from his influence. he’d manipulate your friends and find ways to keep tabs on you, using people or technology to always know where you are.
despite his anger, Kai would have moments where he switches to a softer, vulnerable approach (think about the time he convinced winter to agree to the weird religious nutjob inc*st threesome). he knows how to manipulate through emotion, and he’d use this to try and pull you back in. he’d sit down and speak in a low, defeated tone, saying things like, “you were the only person who ever saw the real me, who truly knows me.” 🥺
Kai is obsessed with loyalty, and your breakup would feel like the ultimate betrayal to him. he’d test your commitment by putting you in difficult situations—manipulating circumstances to see if you’ll come back to him. orchestrating moments where you feel vulnerable, then swoop in as the only person you can rely on.
lowkey understandable why you’d wanna break up with him. he’s a toxic boi (still hot)
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 fear-is-truth 2024 — all rights reserved. do not modify, repost, translate, or plagiarise my content.
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meyobe · 2 years ago
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Pretty privilege…. No MC privilege pt.2
Satan
Mc can always expect him to take their side no matter what.
Mc was the first person to see past his angry and treat him like a person.
He is forever imbedded to them.
No matter how criminal the crime.
Mc was the one to start a fight? Well why was the other person fighting back?
Mc broke an expensive vase? If it’s so expensive why it is out, where anyone can reach it?
Mc started a fire in the kitchen? Devildom ingredients can be dangerous for human use-age.
He will most likely find a way to flip Mc problem on the person who accused them.
He his mind you do no wrong.
But not to be mistaken, he knows Mc is reckless but guidance is key! (He thinks)
Asmo
He will put Mc comfort over his.
He’s spent millennials admiring himself and put himself over other by default.
Mc showed him that his soul is more blinding then any gold or highlighter he puts on.
Mc has showed him a new way of viewing life.
Mc looks uncomfortable sitting on the floor during movie night? Just take his seat… matter a fact his kicking his brother off so you can have space.
Mc is tired of wearing their heels? He’ll switch shoes with you.
Mc is carrying a lot of bags that look heavy? He’ll carry them himself no matter how ugly he thinks it is.
He is letting go of his persona of being perfect because Mc taught him your flaws make you unique.
Buttt old habits die hard but Mc just has to look at him and he knows to settle down.
Beel
Mc can use him as a stress reliever( not that way ^_^)
He is the strongest brother( without and magic or demon forms) he works out and knows it can take stress away.
Mc showed him it’s not enough to be strong physically, but mentally.
Mc and beel are two side of the same coin.
He never wants Mc to hold what their really thinking or feeling back.
Mc’s had a really bad day? Are we going to the gym or on a run?
Mc is refaced with a bad memory? Does Mc need to yell he will listen? Or does Mc want to punch someone or something? He is right there.
Mc feels the need to let out some energy? Does Mc want to practice with him and his team?
He knows that sometimes people need to get violent to relive their stress.
Nothing that Mc May do can hurt him. So go crazy >_<
He thinks Mc is the strongest person he will ever meet.
He strive to be just like them.
Belphie
Mc can expect him to make an effort.
He’s had lots of time to dwell on his past mistakes and understand where he went wrong.
He will spend an eternity trying to make things right.
He wants Mc to know he’s trying his hardest for them.
He’s trying to living up to the honor them Mc gives him.
Mc has been feeling stressed? Flowers and a gift basket are at their door with a note that has the letter “B” on it.
Mc has to go to a meeting but also need to do my chores? He’ll make sure they’re done before Mc is back.
Mc and Belphie got Into a fight? He’s still texting them “ Goodnight, I love you “ because he knows how easily you can be taken away.
All his life his been deemed lazy or useless. It never bother him until Mc.
He is becoming the best version of hisself because he wants to be the demon whose worthy of a pact with Mc.
A/n/: should I write this for the dateables?!?!
I should also mention that I love writing so feel free to request!!
A new post about volleyball will be up soon!
Ty all!❤️
Pt.3 is up!!
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penkura · 5 months ago
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only if you want to queen but i can’t stop thinking about how this conversation went😭😭
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Queen?? I do not deserve that title omg.
BUT anyway, I've been thinking about this, and I've finally figured how I think it would happen and how Zoro and Reader would have their twin boys. 💚
Added a little extra for their older two being excited for their new little siblings and getting to meet them. :)
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Having kids wasn’t originally in Zoro’s life plans, but when Keitaro and Kuina come along one after the other in about three years, how much joy and happiness they’ve brought, he's not sure he could imagine your lives without them now. They were more than anything he could’ve ever asked for, and watching them grow up, watching you be a mother to them, he thinks this is the only way things could’ve turned out.
There’s been nothing better lately than watching the two learn more about their world, seeing how you comfort them when they get upset or need help understanding something. When Keitaro comes to him begging to start practicing with swords or Kuina holds onto him tightly after a nightmare, the moments where your family of four is able to relax and enjoy your evenings have become his favorite part of the day. It’s more than Zoro ever expected after you’d first told him you were pregnant with Keitaro, and then Kuina, but none of it has been unwelcome.
Sometimes Zoro thinks about you two having just one more child, it feels like something, someone is missing if he starts to dwell on it too long. It’s weird, he knows that when he starts to think about it, but he can’t help it when he sees you playing with or holding someone else’s baby. With Sanji’s newest child you’ve been welcoming his older three over every day to play with Keitaro and Kuina so they have some time with their friends, not having to worry about or hear the newest baby crying. While five kids at once was a lot to take care of, you did so well at it. You wore them out with games and playing outside, Sanji was thankful for that when he’d come to collect his children and they all wanted to go home and sleep, your two kids already asleep on the floor beside each other. Even just watching or helping you tuck them in at night made Zoro think more about another child, he doesn’t understand why honestly.
It takes him some time before he can even admit to himself that he wants another child,  before he even dares to bring it up eventually. Zoro spends some time watching you with other babies and how easily you’re able to calm to them down if they cry, trying to gage if you might want another one yourself. Since you’re the one who would once again be carrying the baby, he wants to make sure you’re okay with it. Make sure you want just one more to make your family complete.
When he finally brings it up, you’re surprised by it.
“You…want another baby?”
Zoro nods, causing you to sit up beside him in bed, while he barely looks at you. Honestly you believed he’d never want to have another child. You’d had Keitaro and Kuina so close together, that any thoughts of another one were out of your mind until recently, you figured there was no way Zoro would go for it if you suggested having another one. But it looks like you were wrong.
“I don’t know, it just,” he shrugs a but, sighing as he tries to get his thoughts in order, “I’ve just watched you lately with Sanji’s kids, and seeing how big Keitaro and Kuina have gotten. Weirdly enough I kind of miss when they were little, you know?”
“I do actually,” Laughing, you lean against Zoro’s arm and take his hand in yours, “I miss when they would just want to be held all the time, even with the crying and diapers…and it’s fun to watch them grow up…”
“Keitaro’s going to start sword training soon, and I know Kuina will want to join in…but it feels like they’re growing up too fast.”
“It really does…”
“…and like something is missing.”
“You’ve felt it too?”
Zoro nods again, before leaning back with you still holding onto him. You’re both quiet for a few minutes, lost in thought, before you finally smile with a nod of your own.
“All right then, it’s settled.”
“…what is?”
“Let’s have another baby!”
+!+
You said a baby, not twins, but that’s what you have about a year later. Two little boys that come into the world crying their lungs out, before they’re passed to you and Zoro, your newest additions slowly calming down to small cries and whines. You’re quick to tell Zoro no more since you ended up with twins this time, and he has no problems with that.
You’ve given him far more than he ever could have asked for, he’s not going to ask you to go through this again, he swears.
Keitaro and Kuina don’t meet their new brothers until the next day, giving you and the twins some time to rest. You’re still sleeping when they finally get to come home from staying at Sanji’s the day before, but Zoro takes care of introducing the four to each other, your older two in awe at the fact they have twin brothers now.
“Mama said it was one baby.” Keitaro can’t believe he has two brothers now, on top of a sister, but he’s not exactly mad about it.
“We didn’t know until yesterday, buddy.”
“I wanted a sister…” Kuina pouts a bit, but it slowly fades into a smile when the younger of your twins grabs onto her finger when she pokes at his hand.
“Sorry, princess,” Zoro smiles too, watching as she starts to accept having two little brothers a little bit at a time, “Mama said no more babies, so looks like you’re our only girl.”
“Mmm…that’s okay then,” She nods, Keitaro doing the same as they both take everything in, “I’ll help Mama take care of them!”
“I will too! …when I’m not practicing…”
“Good, I’m sure Mama will like that.”
You don’t make it known that you’re awake ans listening to your family, but it does make you smile to yourself. Everything feels perfect now, there’s no longer any feelings that someone is missing from your lives, not with your twin boys. One more than you expected, but it works all the same.
Now you just need to figure out names for them.
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racinggirl · 1 year ago
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promise
Lando Norris Fic - requested
My inbox for requests
a/n: Oh my godness I'm back y'all! It's been so long! It's the first request of hopefully many to come. So far my inbox is empty again, so don't hold back to send in some requests, one, or more. You can even send some anonymously! I hope you will like this story, and keep reading to find some little extra's I added, because I loved making AU's as well. Let me know your thoughts, tips, tops, anything really. It keeps me motivated to write more, so any form of feedback is very welcomed! Now, sit back, relax, and enjoy this fic 🧡
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‘’Promise.’’ You linked your pinkie finger with the 5-year-old curly haired boy, giggling as the both of you were running around the playground, hiding from his mother.
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‘’Come on, I’m nearly 25 already! I can easily go on vacation on my own!’’ You had always wanted to go on a road trip, preferably with a partner on your side, but that hadn’t been the case yet. So, you decided to go alone, because why not? You were old enough to look out for yourself, even though your parents weren’t too keen on the idea of their daughter traveling around Europe on her own.
‘’The world has changed, Y/N, it’s not safe to go on your own.’’
‘’But-…’’
‘’No, you’re not going on your own, end of story.’’
You groaned at your parents’ reaction and went to your room, frustrated, upset, but somehow you got their point. They weren’t wrong, the world had changed, and wasn’t that innocent anymore. Wherever you were watching the news, reports about murder, drunken drivers, kidnappers, it was all out there.
‘There’re more crazy people out in the world than there are behind bars’ was something your father would say, and he wasn’t wrong.
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However, you wished you would have been able to do what that curly haired boy did. Sometimes you were jealous of him, jealous of how he travelled all around the world, going from one country to another, flying from Finland to Australia to Bali and back to his new home, Monaco.
Him and you met when you were karting in Bristol, the both of you loving the sport more than ever. However, karting wasn’t a girl’s sport, at least not to the world at that age. That’s why you moved on from it, where he pursued his dream career, you were only there to cheer from the side lines.
You hated learning, studying, it’s something you never were good at, or at least, not in school. Whenever you saw the data on the karting track, you’d spent hours trying to understand every piece of data that was coming through.
You begged your parents to let you go to engineering school, university. They didn’t want you to, it wasn’t a ‘girl’s thing’ to do, but after you refused to do anything else, they eventually agreed on letting you go to engineering school.
4 years later, and you had your engineering degree. You couldn’t be happier, because right now it meant you might do something you’d actually enjoy. Even if it wasn’t a ‘girl’s thing’ to do, you loved it.
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‘’Hey’’ you smiled as you brought the phone close to your ear, lying in bed as you checked the time.
‘’Hey, did you see?’’
‘’Oh yeah, I did.’’ You laughed, looking up at the ceiling. ‘’You were flying! Pole position baby!’’ You giggled, smiling even harder when you heard him on the other side, repeating the final three words of your sentence.
‘’You still have to come for a race someday, you know?’’ His deep voice was ringing through your ears, and it immediately made your chest feel warm, it always did, he always did.
‘’Mhm.. I know, and I will, when my parents finally let me.’’ You sighed, playing with the ropes of your hoodie.
‘’You’re almost 25, when will they ever let you do your own things?’’
‘’I don’t know,’’ you sighed heavily, ‘’when I’m 40?’’
The sound of his laugh made you sit up straight, your cheeks turning a light shade of pink as you heard his laughter.
‘’Nah, I’ll have you kidnapped by then.’’ He smiled, causing you to giggle next. ‘’They’ll destroy you when you do that.’’
‘’Good thing I have my bodyguards, then.’’ And that made your heart feel a thousand times warmer. He was never one to brag about his success, never. He always was very modest, very gentle, and never liked it whenever people talked about the amount of money he had, or how famous he was. That’s why you clicked so good. You knew each other from when you were 3 years old, and he knew you liked him as a friend, and not because he was a driver.
‘’I asked them if I could go on a road trip, alone.’’ You quietly said, hearing how he fumbled around on the other side of the line. A soft ‘hold on, I’m busy’ made you smile, knowing he told whoever was there to wait, because he was talking to you.
‘’And let me guess, they wouldn’t let you go alone because the world is dangerous.’’
‘’Yep, exactly.’’ You sighed but sat up straight when you heard him gasp.
‘’Lando, what did you do?’’
‘’Nothing.’’
‘’What are you thinking?’’
Silence…
‘’Lando?’’
‘’Come with me.’’ You could hear his grin through the phone, and he could hear your brains working overtime because he immediately started to explain himself. ‘’You won’t be alone, you’ll be with me, my team, my crew.’’ He said. ‘’You can travel the world with me, I might even be able to work around some things here to have you here for some sort of internship, so you won’t have any expenses, and you’ll be able to come to the races with me. Your parents know me, I’m not a stranger.’’
You wanted to say yes, you wanted to give in because honestly, it was a great idea.
‘’But, and these aren’t my worlds, but you’re famous, Lando, and you-…’’
‘’I’m still the same Lando from 20 years ago.’’
‘’I know, I know that, but my parents don’t, you know how they are…’’
You hated the fact you just basically told him you couldn’t go with him because he was famous, and you hated that word as much as he did. Your parents were always so fond of him, they loved him, but they also always made sure to tell you that he had a lot of money, was very well known around the world and that most famous people weren’t the same people they were before they had the money. They’d say that the fame got to their heads, but it wasn’t the same with Lando. He had always been that giggly, funny, sweet, and caring boy, but simply because he wasn’t around during Christmas dinners, or the traditional ‘start of spring’ picnic, they assumed he felt too good for those kinds of things. You explained to them that he was just busy, that because of his job, the start of spring was in the middle of the start of the season, and that he simply couldn’t make it. But they were your parents, stubborn as always.
‘’Y/N?’’
‘’Hmm, sorry, what?’’ You said, hearing him chuckle on the other side of the phone.
‘’Let me talk to them, okay? Let me try to convince them, because honestly, you wouldn’t be the only one to benefit from that decision.’’ He whispered, causing your cheeks to heat up again.
‘’Okay.’’
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‘’Lando?’’ Your parents were surprised to see him at your front step. He promised you he’d come to talk to your parents, and he always keeps his promises.
‘’Y/F/N, Y/M/N, it’s been a while, it’s good to see you again.’’ He was always very polite. Calling your parents by their first name was something you always did; you did the same with Adam and Cisca.
It was a good conversation, you occasionally tried to mix yourself into it. A reassuring smile from the curly haired boy made you confident enough to speak up to your parents, and this time, with success, because only a few weeks after your conversation you were packing your clothes.
One year. For one year you’d join Lando with his journey around the world. You had no idea how he did it, and especially this fast, but he had managed to give you an internship position at McLaren, meaning you could come along to the races, the dream scenario for every Lando-girl out there.
‘’You’re the best, you know?’’ You laughed, placing your phone on the bed as you zipped up your suitcases. Instead of living here in London with your parents for a year, you and him both decided it would be the best if you would live in his apartment near Woking. It was still close to home, and to the factory.
He was the best one could imagine, and you knew he was, because he was always there, and he always kept his promises.
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You put your phone away and collected the things you had to before ordering a taxi to head straight to the airport. You had been living in his apartment for almost 2 weeks now, and things were good, they were great. He occasionally came to Woking for work, but also to spend time with you. You were best friends ever since, and nothing could ever change that.
The moment you arrived on the airport you felt it again. Those feelings you have been trying to ignore the moment they appeared again, the moment your brain wandered off and thought of him. He always made you feel that way, but you ignored it, always. It might sound cliché, and you hated thinking about it because in every romance book it got romanticized. Having feelings for your best friend never worked out great, except in those books.
But reality is, you’re not living in a book, you’re living in the real world, and it was dangerous. Feelings weren’t mutual all the time, and you didn’t want to find out if it was the case this time because you didn’t want to get your heart broken, so being friends made you be close, feel good without the heartbreak ending it.
It went quick, you got in the jet and 1 hour and a few minutes later you were already back on the ground. He was right, it was faster. Of course he was right, he always was, and that made you fall for him even more, how silly it may sound.
He had texted you, saying he was waiting in his car because of the fans wandering at the airport. Someone spotted his car on the way here, and the FBI agents they are, they immediately put one and one together. He was picking up someone, or his girlfriend, something most fans would say.
‘’Hey.’’ You smiled as you embraced him in a tight hug, he smelled good, he always did. A mix of Dior Sauvage and his own scent made you inhale his scent deeply. It felt like home. You explained him that mixing 3 very expensive perfumes wasn’t making him smell 3 times better, he used to mix most of his perfumes until you made that comment. He asked which one you liked the most, and ever since you mentioned Sauvage all he wore was that. But you never noticed the reason was because you mentioned it, you always thought he simply liked that fragrance the most.
‘’Hey, how was the flight?’’ He opened your car door after helping you put the suitcase in his trunk, the real gentleman he was, and hopped in the driver’s seat.
‘’Amazing, the most relaxing flight I’ve ever had.’’ You sighed, putting on your seatbelt before looking over at him, how he started the car and drove out of the parking garage.
You talked more, about the flight, about how things were at the apartment, his apartment here in Monaco, you even talked about your plans these next upcoming days.
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‘’We’ll go to London tomorrow.’’ He whispered. The both of you were laying on his couch in his apartment here in Monaco. Instead of watching TV, you had moved the couch so you both could see the harbour, and the sun setting in the ocean.
The couple of weeks you had been here were the best you ever experienced. You did many things, from shopping to karting in Italy, a day at the beach in France, simracing and even streaming. You made chat very clear you were best friends and nothing more, but when people in chat started to ask about his feelings, and about yours, he told you, quietly, to not answer and ignore them, whatever that might have meant.
‘’Really?’’ Your smile grew wider when he mentioned that. It would be your birthday in 2 days, and you always spent your birthday at home, with your family and friends. Last year he couldn’t make it, as the season started the day your birthday was, but this year he made his way around it. Your birthday was on Tuesday, so Wednesday you’d both fly with his jet to Bahrein for the first race of the year.
‘’Mhm, I wouldn’t want to break your birthday tradition.’’ He smiled, his lips placing a tender kiss on your temple. You were lying when you said your feelings towards him hadn’t grown these couple of weeks with him in Monaco. Everything he did gave you tinglings in your stomach and you couldn’t help ignoring them anymore. You surrendered to the fact you had a crush on him, you liked your best friend, and it was the best feeling ever.
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‘’Happy Birthday!’’ Your parents were waiting in the living room when you entered the house. They decorated the entire room with balloons, garlands, and pictures from your first till your 24th birthday.
‘’Smile!’’ They held the camera out in front of you, and you immediately felt an arm wrapped around your shoulder. This caused your smile to grow even wider.
‘’Happy Birthday, beautiful.’’ He whispered in your ear, pressing a kiss to your temple as his scent immediately went through your nose.
‘’Thank you…’’ You whispered, looking into his bright eyes and immediately looking down after, trying to hide the fact you were blushing because of his actions.
Later that evening, after you spent time with your family and friends, you and Lando went back to his apartment. You got many gifts, and you couldn’t be happier about this day.
‘’How was your day?’’ You felt the vibrations of his deep voice going through your entire body, leaning against him as you were seated on the couch of his apartment.
‘’Amazing.’’ You smiled. ‘’Couldn’t be better.’’
‘’Oh, but I think it can.’’ He reached for something in his bag, and once he got the box, he handed it to you. ‘’Happy Birthday, beautiful.’’ He whispered again, watching how you opened the box slowly.
You pulled the black coloured leash that was hanging from the side of the box and gently placed it on the table in front of you. You lifted the lid and grabbed the small bag inside of the box.
‘’Lando.’’ You gasped, touching the velvet bag and opening it slowly. Tears were burning in your eyes at this point, because you realised he made all this effort to get the perfect gift for you. And he succeeded because it was more than perfect.
‘’This is way too crazy.’’ You whispered, feeling how he moved your hair to the side, helping you clipping the silver Swarovski necklace around your neck.
‘’Look inside.’’ He said, tucking some hair away from your face with his fingers, causing your nervousness to grow even more.
You opened the necklace and smiled when you saw the picture inside. It immediately gave you flashbacks, because even though you were only 4 and 5 years old, it was the brightest memory you had from the two of you.
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FLASHBACK
‘’Dating is stupid! Kissing is stupid!’’ You laughed when you were seated on the swing, holding tightly when Lando pushed you carefully.
‘’I know! My mommy and daddy kiss when daddy comes home from work and it’s so weird!’’ He laughed, making sure you wouldn’t fall from the swing.
‘’Lando! Y/N! Come on, it’s time to go home!’’ You heard Cisca calling for the both of you, and you jumped off the swing immediately.
‘’Come on, run!’’ He held your hand and while the both of you laughed, you ran to the playground, hiding from Lando’s mom. ‘’Shhh..’’
You stayed there for almost 5 minutes, which seemed like an eternity when you’re just 4 years old. ‘’I have an idea.’’ The curly haired boy smiled and held your hand tightly.
‘’Okay, tell me!’’ You giggled.
‘’When we’re both 25 and we’re still single, I’ll ask you to marry me.’’ He smiled, causing you to giggle and laugh, him doing the same. ‘’Okay!’’
‘’Lando! Y/N, come on we have to go, it’s getting dark!’’ You ran away again, running around the playground as you linked your pinkie finger with him. ‘’Promise’’.
END OF FLASHBACK
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After he clipped the necklace around your neck, he took a hold of your hand and grabbed the second box in his bag. He kneeled in front of you, a smile on his lips as he opened the box with one hand.
‘’Marry me.’’ He whispered. ‘’Not now, don’t worry. But one day. You know I am a man of my word, and I still remember that day so well.’’ He smiled, looking at your necklace and then back into your eyes. He always maintained eye contact with you, and it made you feel safe and secure, because you know you can trust those eyes.
‘’I’ve been counting the days till your birthday, knowing that the day you turned 25, I was able to ask this question. I’m lying when I say I was hoping you wouldn’t find someone to be by your side, because, and maybe I’m being selfish, but I want to be that man. It’s too fast to immediately ask you to marry me, because I can’t force you to say yes, but God… Y/N. See this as a promise ring. See this as a promise ring that we’ll be together, that I’ll be the man in your life that makes you the happiest you’ll ever be.’’
Tears were streaming down your face as you listened to every word he said. Every word chosen so carefully yet so chaotically, because this is the moment you knew you weren’t the only one feeling this intense love for him. He felt it for you, too.
You answered him by cupping his cheeks with your hands and doing the one thing you have been dreaming of doing for almost 22 years. You kissed him, his lips moving on yours almost instantly caused you to smile against his lips, him following your movements. This kiss was something else, something that made all the butterflies in your stomach explode with fireworks, like they were all holding a fairy light and lighting them all at the same time.
‘’I love you, Lando, I always have, and I’m so glad I can finally say it out loud now.’’ You giggled, feeling his hand reaching for yours and the ring slipped around your finger so effortlessly.
‘’I love you too, and I promise I’ll get you a proper engagement ring.’’ He whispered before pressing his lips on yours again, firmly, full of love.
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2 years later
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zoe-oneesama · 2 years ago
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Not to say either of them is right here, but what's wrong with the ice cream guy? I haven't kept up with the show proper in several seasons, so I'm probably very out of touch.
He is The Villain of ML in my heart.
His magic ice cream is wildly inconsistent. It's Soulmate Ice Cream! Except when it's Just Friend Ice Cream! Well, until he ONLY gives ice cream to lovers, NOT good friends who have fun together! But sometimes he gives ice cream to couples that DO break up! What are the rules? WHO CARES, CERTAINLY NOT ANDRE! I can't even put stock in his ability ACTUALLY being magic when it's constantly contradicting itself. I'm pretty sure he's just convinced himself that he has magic when he doesn't and his ego is easily bruised if anything pulls him out of his fantasy.
Plus he inexplicably always blames Marinette every time he's akumatized, no matter how far he has to stretch to do so. Once when she didn't even interact with him directly!
The first time because she went home without eating his "Soulmate Ice Cream(tm)" by herself as a 5th wheel. Because, what, her leaving meant his ice cream "failed"? Wasn't the point that two people are supposed to share the ice cream for the magic to work? But because she was like "no thanks", he swears revenge on her???
The second time because he was so invested in shipping two strangers that he got mad at Marinette for...being seen in public with one leg of the ship? After Ladybug had made it perfectly clear that she and Chat Noir were NOT a couple and so Chat Noir has the right to have fun with whoever he wants to???? Because "my ice cream is never wrong"?!?!
It didn't seem to work out for Lukanette or Adrigami so I don't know where you get the gall to even continue to make that bullshit claim, but OKAY.
And the third time, HE had the audacity to blame HER for making him "lose faith in ice cream and love" when he REFUSED TO SERVE HER! He flat out denied her and Chat Noir ice cream because he doesn't make "good friend" ice cream despite them BEING ON A DATE, and then has the GLUTEN FREE AUDACITY to be mad when tHEY are UPSET by it!
Oh but that wasn't a problem in "Wishmaker" when it was Marinette sharing with Luka, but sure, make up new things just so you can get mad about it, that makes sense.
I also have a personal vendetta against him for being the one to out Marinette's feelings for Adrien to Adrien. After 4 seasons of build up, this is how Adrien finds out? Horrible, vile, detention, exile, I hate him. I mean I've been done with him since "Heart Hunter"/"Miracle Queen", but they just loooooove to PILE IT ON.
Like, wouldn't it make more sense for Andre to have been the one person to see through the Love Square? Even if he didn't fully understand it, since Ladybug = Marinette and Chat Noir = Adrien, wouldn't it just make sense for Magic Ice Cream to be able to see past that because They're Soulmates(tm)? But he's only invested in ONE of the pairings, not even like two of the pairings that are seemingly unrelated. He is NEVER as passionate about Adrienette as he is about LadyNoir...but why???? Why is he so blase about Marinette going with Luka or Adrien being with whoever when he can't even handle Chat Noir LAUGHING with a girl who Isn't Ladybug?
They never even have fun and explore what he'd do if he caught a Ladrien date, would he be angry at Adrien like he is with Marinette, or does he just have it out for her specifically?
At this point I'm just convinced he's only so invested in the LadyNoir pairing because he's publicly endorsed them so much and if they don't end up together he'll be outed for being a Hack Fraud. His fixation on two teenagers becoming a couple as a grown adult and falling to pieces just because Marinette has other ways to have fun instead of eating Ice Cream she doesn't even get to choose the flavor of...
Yeah, throw him in jail Chloe.
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extremelyblackandwhite · 1 year ago
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Could you maybe possibly do a Bucky X single mum reader? Maybe he doesn't know she's a mum thinks she's ghosting him and then bumps into her and said child or something maybe some angst smut fluff the whole shebang
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Bucky was officially done with dating.
He had felt this quite a few times but never had he decided to put an end to dating in the modern day until now. Things had been going great, he didn't even think she would've accepted to go on a date with him yet she did and after that, there wasn't a single moment where he wasn't thinking of her or with her. She was sweet, smart and didn't seem to mind about his past as the Winter Soldier or the metal arm that was blatantly visible to anyone if he took his gloves off. He was finally happy, in a healthy relationship, or at least he thought so.
A week ago things had gone radio silent, there were no texts, he didn't see her at her usual coffee spot and whenever he tried calling, it would go to voice mail time and time again. It had finally hit him that she had just "ghosted" him as Sam called it. Maybe he was right, yet not in the common sense, instead he felt haunted. Haunted by her touch, by her memory and even by the stupid cookies she used to buy. The same stupid cookies he was staring at right now.
      - Can I get these? - a toddler jumped up and down next to him. It was a girl, at least Bucky thought it was a girl based on the high pitched voice. He only looked at the toddler when she pulled on the leg of his trouser, finally forcing him to look at her. - Sir, please can you pass me the cookies?
He shrugged, easily grabbing the box and handing it to the girl who went off running to the legs of a woman, a woman who looked too familiar, a woman who looked almost terrified when she saw Bucky. Honestly, Bucky wasn't even sure who was more terrified if her or him.
      - Bucky. - she said as she walked up to him. - Listen, I ...
      - That's fine. - he interrupted her. - You don't have to say hi to me.
      - No, I just ... I need to explain things.
      - I'd rather avoid the whole "it's not you, it's me" discussion. You know, you could've at least sent me a text instead of ghosting me.
      - Ghosting? No, no, you don't understand. I've been busy and ...
      - For a whole week? Clearly you're not busy enough to be perusing the supermarket.
      - Perusing? I'm just getting groceries, I forgot I couldn't if I didn't text you.
      - Oh so you do know how to text. - Bucky knew he was being mean now but he was hurt. There were may voices in his head which were making him feel like a loser, make him feel like just the Winter Soldier yet he also knew that was no reason to insult her so before he could say something he would regret, he walked away.
Technically, he had now ghosted her as well but she'd done it first so it wasn't as heavy in his mind. At least not as heavy as the idea that the girl he liked so much had suddenly stopped wanting to see him. Many things were going through his mind about what could've caused it, he didn't see another man with her at the store so it potentially wasn't one so his mind was forcing him to face the fact that he was probably the reason. Who would want to date a murderer, the Winter Soldier? No one.
      - Did you bring my milk? - Steve asked as he skimmed through the groceries. - Bucky?
      - I saw Y/N in the shop. - he sat down. - And I was a dick to her. Basically ran off with whatever I had in my cart.
      - Hold on. - Steve said as he sat next to him. - You saw her? What did you say?
      - Stupid shit.
Steve rolled his eyes. Bucky was his best friend, they had known each other since forever and he wasn't against taking his friend's side even if he knew he may be slightly wrong. Yet, in this case, he knew Bucky probably was acting out from hurt and that usually wasn't pretty or nice to hear. It was quite vicious actually, sometimes he forgot how vicious Bucky could be.
      - I don't know what you said but maybe you should apologise.
      - Probably. - he sighed. - Yet again I think she was getting ready to give me a pity speech and I'd rather not listen to it.
      - Do you like this girl? - Bucky stayed silent at this. Of course he liked her, she was all he could think about at night, she was the sun the moon and the stairs for all he cared. But she didn't want him, what else would be the reason for her to suddenly go cold on him. - You've lived for a whole century, Buck. Go talk to her and find out what it is instead of sulking.
(...)
Bucky already regretted this.
As he stood outside her apartment door, he wondered if he was a complete creep. He felt like one, waiting for someone to open the main door so he could get into the building with the sad flowers he'd bought hoping they would convince Y/N not to close the door in his face. Once more, he stared at the golden number on her door before sighing and knocking. He heard quick footsteps before the door knob was slowly twisted and the door opened. The same toddler who he had seen in the market opened the door.
      - Hi! - she said looking at him as if he was her oldest friend.
      - Uh ... Is Y/N here?
      - Meredith, who are you talking you? - he heard Y/N's voice echo through the apartment until she appeared at the door. - Bucky.
      - Hi. - he cleared his throat.
      - Mere, go inside. - Y/N ushered her daughter back inside, closing the door behind her.
Bucky stared at Y/N in both awe and confusion. Who was that toddler? Was it hers? She did look a look like Y/N and he had seen both of them at the supermarket as well. Did Y/N have a kid?
      - She's mine. - Y/N said noticing the doubt on his face. - I had her senior year of college. She's 4.
      - Why ... uh ....
      - She's 4, she doesn't really understand relationships and I don't want to bring anyone into her life that may leave. I also usually struggle to date when I tell guys I have a 4 year old ... I should've told you, I'm sorry.
      - And the ghosting?
      - I wasn't ghosting. - she crossed her arms. - Mere had the chicken pox and I had to stay home with her. I was gonna text you but I thought this ... this would be a better conversation to have in person.
      - Ah ... - he scratched the back of his neck. - I was an asshole at the supermarket, wasn't I?
      - That depends ... are those flowers for me? - she smirked.
      - Yes. - he extended his arm towards her handing her the flowers. Marigolds, her favourite. - They look a bit sad though.
      - They look perfect. - she smiled at him. - Wanna come in?
(...)
Bucky stirred awake in the couch as he heard a soft rustling following by breathing. He peaked his eye open to see Meredith staring at him with wide eyes before she poked his cheek with her finger.
      - Mr. Bucky? Can you make me pancakes?
He could get used to this.
421 notes · View notes