#and i am way more stressed about it than about the exam i just failed

[porsches]

just remembered how many different doctors i have to see next week and now i want to hide in my house forever

[lylianrae]

A list of all the things I have manifested ⋆˚⟡˖ ࣪

We manifest everything in our lives btw - the good and the bad which is why I will be including both to prove that the law does not discriminate. If you can successfully become poor, you can most definately become rich with the same ease because everything is just a state.

Long hair

AHH this is one of my favourite manifestations. Ever since I was young I had a weird bob with a fringe (often crooked) and I wanted long hair like all the other girls (lmaoo) but my mum was strict so she didn't let me grow it out. Although I didn't know about manifestation back then, every new year and birthday I would wish for long hair and I would pretend I was a princess with butt long hair. Guess what, somewhere along the line, my mum let me grow it out and now I have butt length hair (don't really know what to do with it tho </3).

As all kids do, I went through an emo phase where I chopped off like half of my hair like 4 years ago. I literally grew back 7-8" of hair within a month because my parents got too mad. I knew about manifestation here so I just assumed my hair always grows unaturally fast. Same with when I cut bangs, they grew past my chin within a couple of weeks.

Manifesting my way into a private school

Honestly this just shows that you dont need 2430430 hours of working on your self concept to manifest. Literally so many celebs, including Marylin Monroe (the queen), manifested their fame with awful self concept. Likewise, here I was possibly going through the worst time of my life back then. I would wake up at 8 am and start studying and end at 11 pm despite being only 10 at the time. I was so freaking stressed and envious of all the other children and went into a depressive spiral where my two options were pass or die. I didn't even have enough practice and I cried my self to sleep on most nights. Anyways, when i did the exam I was deathly calm and even after the exam I was apparently so chill so my parents thought I failed.

I literally left 9 questions on one paper but throughout the summer, everytime I found a dandelion I would make a wish and imagine digging a tunnel to the examiners room where I secretly change my answers into the right ones (lmfao my tiny 10 yr old brain - idek how it worked). Anyways my results were sent back to me a month later on a random October evening and I got a really high mark. Even after 7 years of going to this school I havn't met anyone who has gotten a mark higher than mine.

Curly hair / straight hair

Sigh. We always want things we don't have. When I was younger I had really straight hair like 1A asian hair but when I was like 10, I really wanted curly hair and I would try to curl it often. After a few months, I manifested a curling iron and my hair literally became naturally curly like right after a wash it would curly af when before it was dead straight. Naturally I grew bored of it and I wanted my straight hair back and for ages I began overcomplicating the law and struggled to manifest it. It was only recently when I actually let go of the 3D that I manifested the silky, shiny straight hair.

Social life?

This is also a funny one, just shows how easily you can manifest. So back in 2021 after lockdown I felt so lonely and felt so left out of my friendship group so after a few months I began stressing myself out and spiraling for like 30 minutes, sobbing to myself about how I was so lonely and how nobody loved me (💀). Anyways it became reality, I found myself uncomfortable in many social situations and found myself becoming forgotten far more easily. I don't really remember the details but it was so bad that I think I accidently manifested social anxiety (oh well we still up tho).

However I am a loa girly so I found myself listening to popularity subliminals and slowly (but surely) my mindset change from having no friends to being the most popular girl in the year. Like no joke I became friends with like 3 people from different social circles so at lunchtime we had to join up like 3 different tables so we can all sit together. Overall I got myself 20+ close friends and even my ex friends began to admire me although it had ended badly. Even now, when someone says something thats untrue - for example saying that they are dumb when they are not, they would be like "ahaha so its like when Rae (me) says she has no friends, the whole school knows who Rae is".

Clear skin

This was sort of in the beginning of my loa (law of attraction back then) journey, I just randomly found out what subliminals were and was still quite new to everything. Now I don't even understand how it happened but I had busted some capillaries under my skin and it looked like small red viens under my skin and bro I was freaking out at the time. One night I was like just, I had enough, I'm going to get myself better skin and so I listened to a sub once for 3-4 days and on like the 4th day, my cheeks began to heat up which was odd and the next day it was 90% gone. Just like magikkkk.

Desired university?

Guys. Feeling is the secret. Don't you ever forgot that - not feeling as in emotions but rather the feeling of knowing. I had 2 entrance exams to do to apply for my universities and it was a stressful time where I wasn't getting enough sleep and wasn't eating enough simply because I didn't have the time. Like I come home from school and would have 3-4 hours of homework, then I need to revise for tests and then the remaining time would be spent on the entrance exams. Each past paper took 2 hours and I have around 13s per questions and I was already struggling on time. Anyways, I began to hate them and I would often complain to my mum saying things like "My score got even lower!!" or "I hate it so much" or "My head hurts / eyes hurt".

Guess what? Not only did I see my score decrease over time but I also made such a silly mistake on the most important entrance exam which I needed for 4/5 of my universities. I left a question and completely forgot to mark on the answer so when I finished the section I realised I had one more space on the sheet with like 10s to spare. I didn't have enough time to go back and fix it and lemme say that I did so badly in the test. Even while waiting for results I was just like "ah it would be a miracle if I scored above this bla bla".

I got the score back and it was so freaking bad like I did not stand a chance at my university at all. However, I started to affirm for a place and to my utter shock and surprise my desired university reached out and offered me an interview. I knew people who had like scores which were 50% better than mine and they still got rejected pre-interview. Anyways I began stressing about the interview and the results of the whole thing and boom. I got rejected 3 days after my birthday lmaoo. But its okay because I'm reapplying and I learnt so much more. I'm redoing the entrance exam and my score is a loooot better than it ever was last year.

A key take away would be thoughts are the result of the state you are in. Your dwelling state manifests and I was focusing on the unrealness and the difficultly of getting into this uni and thats what manifested. At the time I was heartbroken and literally went through the 7 stages of grief and spent so many months trying to revise it only for me to focus on the 3D. Just know that everything is done in imagination and it appears in the 3D as a result.

Photographic memory

So this is also something I had manifested before I actually knew about loa but the takeaway here is that manifestation is always instant. I was around 11 reading a random book on my tiny kindle and the book was on how to develop a good memory and I was like ah that'll be useful. Anyways later in the car, I asked my dad about photographic memory and he sort of explained it to me. I just assumed that I have that and I told him I do. He just laughed at me and said thats something that you have to train for and I was not impressed lmao. Inside my tiny brain, I was just like nope, I already have photographic memory and I dropped that thought. Let me tell you, my memory is actually photographic and has helped me out on so many occasions like my brain just takes pictures of things.

Learning fast

This is also something I did before I knew loa, I was just always wondering why the other kids couldn't grasp concepts as easily as I did. Literally in every lesson I would be like ah I learn so fast and now I am actually blessed with the ability to grasp complex subjects so fast. A favourite example of mine would be when I was obsessed with music but to take it to a higher level you need to be able to play an instrument. I couldn't at the time and my teacher told me the requirements a week before the actual deadline. I have never actually played piano with both hands but one day I sat down and worked through the entire song (fur elise by Beethoven) which is a grade 5 (I think) and it normally takes people months / weeks to learn. I learnt the whole thing in 3 days and from then on, I could play piano like I had been doing for ages. Again the memory thing was so helpful because I never actually used any sheet music, I learnt it off a youtube video and I remembered every single note I needed to play.

Hourglass body + 22" waist

This was a couple of years ago when I actually didn't understand loa. Anyways long story short, I would do a 3 minute workout and then flex infront of the mirror all day (💀) and be like omg I have abs. Overtime, I actually got so skinny everyone around me kept pointing it out to me and my mum got so concerned that she took me to the doctor like 4 times. It was so funny, I would loose like 2-3kg overnight and my parents would have to buy better fitting uniform.

Bigger boobs

This was also back in the day (2021?) when I didn't understand how to manifest things easily af. I had an A cup but I wanted better boobies and I listened to like 2 subs for a week and I went to a B cup. But I just assumed I have a bigger cup size recently and I just skipped C and went to D+ (haven't measured in a long time).

I'm not done but I'm tired now bye bye

[blegh-110]

i. "i was enchanted to meet you" | Sam Monroe

Pairing: older brother's bestfriend!Sam x fem!reader

Summary: Older brother’s best friend! Sam Monroe who you really got to know when you were 15 and he was 17.

Warnings: None

Word count: 1.9k

A/N: This is chapter II of this series where I am using songs from Speak Now, enjoy!

Your sophomore year of high school was great.

One reason being that you had finally made a friend who was in three of your classes; geometry, honors english, and P.E.. 

The second reason being that Sam was in your very last class of the day, introduction to art. 

Neither of you were artists, or even good drawers. But that was what made your time together so fun. There wasn’t a day that went by where you two didn’t make fun of each other’s drawings. 

“Sam! It’s supposed to be an orange!” You laughed with tears in your eyes as you stared at your poorly done drawing of a peeled orange half. 

“(Y/N), it looks like a vagina.” He covered his mouth with his hand as he tried, very badly, to hide his laughter. 

And because of your constant noise-making, and talking, and interruptions, the teacher decided to move Sam across the room. But that had made it almost worse. You couldn’t even look at him from your seat because the situation was just too funny, you would have to look away before you’d burst out laughing. And as soon as class was dismissed and the two of you would leave the classroom, there was nothing holding back the bottled up amusement anymore and you both would walk out of school with tears in your eyes. 

It all happened so often that you didn’t want to stop your enjoyment and go home. And neither did Sam, you guessed. Instead of leaving you and driving back to his own house, he began driving you home and dropping you off. Which then turned to driving you home and hanging around the house after you bravely asked if he wanted to come inside for a little bit. And it got to the point where he automatically turned his car off when he parked on the street, having already set his mind on spending more time with you. But this didn’t happen every single day. 

There were times when you had to send him home. It wasn’t for anything serious, in fact, you wanted nothing more than to spend more time with him. But there were days where you had a big test coming up or tons of homework to finish or an essay due the next day, and you knew you would get none of it done if Sam was in the house. 

“Sam, get out!” You giggled as you lightly pushed him to the front door, your fingertips burning at the touch of his back.

“Alright, fine. But what am I supposed to do?” 

“I don’t know, go hang out with your other friend?” You clearly hinted at your older brother, ready to close the door and start your essay that was due the next day. It was your fault really. You had a whole week to finish it, but you kept pushing it aside because you wanted to be with Sam instead. So your whole school day was spent outlining and finding evidence with any spare time you had, and just generally stressing out. 

“He’s at football practice though.”

“Then just watch.”

“But it’s boring.”  

You gave him a pointed look. 

“Okay, okay, I’ll go. I’ll see you tomorrow.” He said while leaning in for a hug then leaving.

One thing you quickly learned about Sam was that he was actually quite attentive and affectionate. He always knew when an exam was coming up for you because of the way you became less talkative and more isolated as the date got closer. He didn’t want to bring that observation up to you though because what would that do? So he did the best he could to make those few days just a little bit better for you. Which included buying you study snacks on your way home, keeping quiet in your art class and instead listening to music together, and sometimes helping you study if you let him. You didn’t notice it at first, too caught up with the thought that you might fail the exam. But when you did eventually catch on you somehow fell even more in love with Sam. 

And the one thing about him that made it harder to breathe was his need for physical touch. Whenever he saw you at school he was quick to leave his friends and greet you with a hug and ask how you’re doing. In your shared art class he was always shoulder to shoulder with you. If he thought you were too far from him, he’d hook his fingers underneath your seat and pull your chair right to him. When the two of you would walk home, his arm would always wrap around your shoulder and pull you close to him. If he saw you walking to class he was happy to take your books and walk you there with a hand on your back. And when it was just the two of you at your house watching a movie, he’d lean his entire body on yours and take a nap. 

You wanted so badly to return those affections. You wanted to wrap your arms around him, you wanted to match his excitement when he saw you in the halls, but it felt impossible for you. And you knew that Sam wouldn't mind, but you just weren’t very good at showing affection the way he did. 

You also learned that he was a bit… possessive and protective of his stuff. He was asked a few times by other students if they could borrow his drawing supplies, or even the brushes provided by the classroom, and he always, meanly, said no. Or when you constantly witnessed him smack your brother's hand away from his bag of chips. 

“Sam, c’mon, I didn’t eat anything for breakfast and I didn’t bring my lunch!” Your brother exclaimed while trying again to steal Sam’s food.

“Get away from me.” He grumbled with smiley fries in his mouth,  

“You’re never this way with my sister.” 

Which was true. He was always sharing his stuff with you. Whether it was food or letting you keep his pencil because you couldn’t find your own, and it was always the pink Paper Mate ones. He was also always offering or making you take some of whatever snack he had. 

“Here, have it.” And he gave you the last oreos he had bought from the cafeteria. 

And there was a time when you were paired up for a project with the boy who took you to the dance in your eighth grade year, the one who you let copy your homework. When you first heard your name with his own you wanted the ground to swallow you, but then he surprisingly brought the whole situation up and apologized for it. And you couldn’t hold a grudge if you wanted to, it happened two years ago and he seemed good now. So you forgave and forgot and the two of you planned to get the assignment started during lunch in the library. Unfortunately, Sam wasn’t as forgiving as you were.

“Didn’t he make you cry? Why don’t you tell the teacher you just don’t want to be partners with him?” He asked while opening his car door for you. 

“Sam, it’s okay! He said he was sorry and it’s not like I’m hanging out with him.” He scoffed at the last part then closed it after you had gotten in. 

“You better not because I’m not over it.”

“Did he take you to the dance?”

“No, but I was the one who saw how upset you were. Hated seeing you like that. I just don’t want him to think that this could be a second chance or something.”

“I appreciate your concern, I really do. But it’s not going beyond a school project, I promise.”

“Okay, but if he tries something, you tell me first.” You rolled your eyes with a smile and nodded your head. You didn’t dare tell him but you felt more than just appreciative, you felt cherished and looked after when he got this way, which wasn’t the first time. And each talk left you wanting him even more. 

And the last bit of his personality that you learned was his introvertness, which again, surprised you. Especially since your brother was actually a pretty sociable person. Like you, Sam was not one to see a large crowd and want to partake in it. The only difference between the two of you was that when you were put in a situation where you were surrounded by a lot of people, your heart would quicken and your hands would get sweaty. You were nervous to talk to other people and felt like you had to. But with Sam, he simply didn’t care to talk to them, he didn’t want to and he made that very clear. 

“Fuck that.” He said when the both of you saw that the school Market was taking place in the courtyard. The market took place for a week, and it was where students sold their own goods. You made the mistake your freshman year of trying to walk through it and go home, but you were always stopped by another student trying to sell you something, whether it was a sticker or their homemade soap, and it was a nightmare. 

There was one time you accidentally got caught up with one of them and they just wouldn’t let you leave. They were selling some homemade body care products, soaps and bath bombs, and you gave every excuse you could to nicely shut them down.

“I don’t have enough money.”

“I really have to get home.”

“I’m not really a bath bomb person.”

“That’s okay! We’ve got lip scrubs! Here, smell these.” Then they proceeded to shove different products in your face while telling you their prices. And while giving a tight lipped smile, you felt a hand wrap around your own. You didn’t have to look to know it was Sam, thank god. 

“Hi, would you like t-”

“Nope.” And he walked away with your hand in his, telling his fellow classmates to “fuck off” as he continued to walk through the market. It felt so natural, like it was supposed to be this way. You’d never felt so comfortable with Sam like this. Before, you were always too overwhelmed by his presence and your own feelings that it became too much. But there you were, holding his hand until the two of you got to his car. 

And it all went away when he graduated. It was a terrible night for you to watch him be handed his diploma, an official sign that the friendship you had built with him was over. You were proud of him, there was no doubt about that. But as soon as the graduating class threw their hats in the air you had to bite your lip to keep your cries from coming out. There was a hollowness in your heart that swallowed any emotion you could feel. 

When the ceremony was over and you and your family went down to the field, he ran right to you and gave you a soul crushing embrace. One where it lifted you off the ground and you had to wrap your arms around him. His graduation gown burned against your cheek. It was a bitter-sweet moment. 

When you got home after a celebration dinner for your brother, you thought about your times with Sam and cried the entire night, wishing you had never met him in the first place so you could save yourself from your heartbreak.

[logansargeantsbabymom]

Hi could you please write an imagine for the f1 boys (mainly Charles, lando, Pierre, Charles) where they surprise the reader at work and she works in childcare. Thank you

Hey pretty, thank you for the request <3!

Work Surprises with the F1 Boys

A/N: I did make this where Y/N has different occupations working with children so it's not the boring same old same old for every driver. I hope that's okay!

Follow my instagram account (THATS STRICTLY FOR THIS BLOG) for updates on when i post and fun stuff like that!

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F1 Masterlist

Charles Leclerc: Pediatrician

I woke up at the same time I have for the past 3 years as I would everyday to get ready for work, at 5:30am. Now I was never and never will be a morning person but I absolutely love my job because it involves me helping kids whether they're sick or just need to get a physical for a school field trip.

I felt my boyfriend stir in his sleep next to me as I tried to sneak out of bed. My attempt of sneaking out though failed as I felt the strong arm of my boyfriend wrap around my waist and yanked me against his body. "Mmmm, don't leave" my boyfriend, Charles whispered against the crook of my neck, which caused me to shiver at the sudden breath hitting my skin.

"Baby, I have to get ready for work." I said as I ran a hand through his messy hair

A groan left his mouth before he continued, "Call out sick" his grip on my waist tightening as he snuggled closer to me to fall back asleep

"No Charles, I have too many appointments today and I won't have any cover. I'll be back soon though, remember the office closes early because it's the 4th of July?" that seemed to persuade him enough because I felt his grip loosen a bit and I took that as my queue to slip out before he had enough time to change his mind.

-

I'd only been at work for about 2 hours and I've seen about 24 patients and attempted to finish some paperwork but every time I get the second to sit down and start the papers, a new patient needs to be seen. I think the last time I've been more stressed in my life than I am right now was back when I was waiting for my score to see if I passed my pediatric exam to get my license and that because I have a waiting room of 6 more patients and all the other doctors and nurses are busy.

I can only thank the heavens because the next patient I had to see turned out to be quadruplets, which would save a significant amount of time on my behalf. Once I called the patients and led them to the room where I closed the door before asking the most important question any doctor could every ask.

"Who's Nicky, Ricky, Dicky and Dawn?" I was slightly annoyed with myself as I finished my question because anyone could tell who Dawn was so I could've easily excluded her from the question.

"I'm Nicky, that's Dicky, and that's Ricky. Dawn obviously is the only girl here so" Nicky said

"Right, well who wants to get their shots first?" I said as I looked at the pan of 8 needles. Each kid needed a flu shot and a hep b shot but as I looked around the already crowed room, none of the kids wanted to volunteer first.

With an unamused look on her face, Dawn reluctantly agreed to go first. It only took about 10 minutes to give all 4 kids their shots and when the last kid got his shot, they all bolted out of the room.

"I'm sorry about them, they hate needles" was all the mom said before she left to follow her kids.

-

It's now 11:55am and the last patient is just about to leave before we close for an hour to have lunch "Okay, if the meds aren't working for your son after about a week, I would come back but if he develops a fever and starts vomiting while taking it, I would suggest taking him to the emergency room." I said as I guided the new mom and her 3 year old daughter to the front lobby.

As soon as the last patient left, I locked the door before making my way to my office to attempt to get some of my paperwork done during my hour break instead of eating.

I was walking back to receptionist desk where I kept my paperwork so I could take them back to my office, only to find it not there. A look of confusion plastered on my face as I continued to look for my missing paperwork. I frustrated groan left my mouth as I realized I'd have to restart all that work.

"I hope you really weren't about to skip lunch for work mon cherie"

A gasp slips past my lips as I quickly turned around to see my boyfriend standing there with a stack of files in one hand and bag of Chinese food in the other.

"Charles!" I said as I walked over to him and took my paperwork back "I thought someone stole these! You scared me!" I placed my hand over my heart and I took deep breaths to try and regulate my heartbeat.

"Sorry, mon coeur but I had to take them because I knew you were going to skip lunch again." A baffled look played across my face because how did he know I have been skipping my lunch breaks to get paperwork done?

"Your coworkers have been telling me you're not eating at work. You can't tell kids to eat to grow and be strong and then not take your own advice. I'm here to make sure that you eat today so I'm making it a little lunch date. Sit and eat."

Lando Norris: Kindergarten teacher

"Ms. L/N, my dad told me that you're dating a famous wace car dwiver, is that twue?" my one student, who's name I just learn was Leo asked me.

Today was meet the teacher day at the school I taught at just 2 weeks before the first day of school and this question was very different than the ones I've been asked before. I looked up at the single dad behind him as I let out a little chuckle

"Why yes I am Leo, is your dad a fan?" I asked as I knelt to be at level with him

"Uh huh! He woves the orwange one!" I've always had a soft spot for kids and right now Leo is making my heart melt.

I didn't have a chance to respond before he ran over to his dad to tell him the good news. I got pulled aside by a parent who told me about an allergy her kid had to a specific cleaning chemical which I made a note of to avoid using in my classroom. I stuck the sticky note on my computer screen before hearing "MS L/N, YOUR BOYFRWEND HERE!" I could recognize that voice as little Leo's.

My head shot up to look at the door and sure enough, my very famous Formula 1 driver boyfriend was there with a bag full of school supplies and gift bags filled with goodies for the kids.

"Kids, I've got presents!!" Lando shouted which caused a little sea of 5-6 year olds kids ran over him making little grabby hands.

Once all the kids got their little baggy of toys, Lando talking to Leo's dad and I answered more questions, the classroom started to empty as Meet The Teacher time ended. The room fell in a comfortable silence as I started to clean up and organize all the supplies I was gifted today.

"Have you ever thought of having a kid or two?" Lando asked, my body tensed at the question

"I dunno, I haven't thought about it. Have you?" I asked as I looked him in the eyes.

"Everyday since we started dating."

Carlos Sainz: School Counselor

"Listen Jess, I can't keep getting you out of trouble. You have to stop getting attitudes with teachers over a small issue." I said with a sigh as I had to deal with a troubled 14 year old freshman for the 4th time this week and it only being Tuesday.

"It's not my fault Ms. Jones was being a bitch to me." Jess said as she shrugged and slouched back in the seat she was in.

"Jess! You can't go around calling your teacher a bitch!" I scolded

"I will if they're being bitches!" Jess shouted

The ring of my school phone is what prevented me from further scolding the student sat in front of me

"Ms L/N's office" I started as I listened to the person on the other line "Okay, tell him to sit at the door of my office while I finish up with this student I have now. Okay, thank you. Bye bye" I hung up the phone before turning my attention back to Jess.

"Do you have another student?" she questioned

"I have another meeting, yes, but you're my top priority right now." I said as I readjusted my position in my chair

"To be honest, I cause these problems because I need someone to talk to and I feel most comfortable with you." Jess admitted as she looked down at her lap

"Jess," I started sympathetically "How about this, once a week we will have a 20 minute meeting to talk about anything and everything you want?" I compromised, which got a nod from her.

I watched as Jess left my office, I attempted to clean my desk a little before bringing my other meeting in before hearing Jess' voice

"Woah, you're hot. Are you a teacher?" before I could questioned who she's talking to I heard a thick Spanish accent answer her question

"No, I just have a meeting with Y/N." Disbelief spread across my face as I recognized the voice. There was no way that voice belonged to who I thought it did to.

I quickly ran outside my office where I was met with the most beautiful man on planet earth and who I was proud to call my boyfriend.

"CARLOS?!" I shouted as I jumped in his arms before planting a kiss to his lips

"Sorry for calling your boyfriend hot Ms. L/N" Jess said before she walked away

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?!" I asked as he put me down but not breaking the hug

"We have the week off before the Miami Grand Prix so I wanted to surprise you." Carlos whispered as he kissed my temple

"Well, consider me surprised" I mumbled against his lips before littering his face in kisses.

Lewis Hamilton: Peds surgeon

I’m currently on hour 8 of my 12 hour hospital shift and I’ve never been more exhausted in my life. I’ve performed 2 surgeries today and I still have one more lined up, now don’t get me wrong, I love my job and everything that comes with it. The ups, the downs, all of it.

I’ve finally finished up a post-op check up with one of my patients before hearing my stomach growl, I sent one of my trusted nurse friends to do the post op check up on the other patient while I grabbed a quick bite before my next surgery.

When I got to the cafeteria, I got a sandwich and sat down with another one of my friends while I scarfed my food down.

“So what’d you do today?” My trauma surgeon friend, Nalani asked as she took a bite of the sandwich she got

“I had to fix a bowel in one kid and another one swallowed a whole bunch of magnetic balls so I had to remove those. One balls tried to stick to the other and pierced an intestine so I had to fix that up. What about you?” I asked a I took another big bite of my food

“Oh well two people came in impaled in the chests with a long rod. Had to separate them, they both survived. It was a real miracle of God because when the images were taken, it looked like neither one of them were gonna survive.”

-

I’d been prepping for my last surgery of the day before I finally get to clock out and not worry about coming back for the next 4 days.

I walked into the OR getting suited up before noticing a figure in the amphitheater which caused me to look out of pure curiosity. Looking up I was locking eyes with the most handsomest man Ive ever seen in my whole life, who just so happened to be my fiancé.

“What is Lewis doing here?” I questioned the surgical intern

“He said he really missed you. The chief of surgery gave him clearance to be there, I think he promised to autograph a whole bunch of things for him and his kids?”

“That sounds like something Lewis would agree to” I giggled as I started to walk to the head of the table before hearing over the intercom

“Good luck with this surgery darling, I love you.”

“I love you too” was all I whispered before starting my last surgery of the day.

Daniel: Summer Camp Director

“Alright everybody, can I have your attention please?” I shouted as I glanced around the room filled with 10-15 year olds.

This is my 3rd summer being a Camp Counselor and I have to admit that I always have a blast here.

“Thank you. My name is Ms. L/N, and I’m the main counselor here at Camp Kikiwaka and I’m going to be going over everything that we’re going to be doing here over the course of the summer and you then I’ll open the floor to you guys so you can ask me questions, okay?”

I heard a sea of “Yes” “Okay” “Got it” before I continued. It only took about 45 minutes to go over the expectations at Camp Kikiwaka and the summer itinerary, “Okay, now does anyone have any questions?” A small hand shot up the second I finished my question

“I thought the big kid camp was the building?” a little girl said

“Yes it is, the camp section for older kids is right next door, why? Do you have a sibling over there?” I questioned as I looked at the little girl in front of me

“So who’s that man and why is he smiling at you?” okay, that was scary at all.

Before I could register who she was talking about I heard an older boy say “That’s Daniel Ricciardo!! What is Daniel Ricciardo doing here?!” which caused me to shoot around to see if he’s actually here.

“Hello guys! Don’t mind me, I’m just here to be your counselor’s assistant for the next week and a half” Daniel said as he walked over to me and engulfed me in a hug, swaying us side to side before placing a quick kiss on my temple.

“What are you doing here?” I whispered, looking up at him to stare in his beautiful eyes

“We have two weeks before the next race so I thought I’d volunteer my time here. I already got permission” Daniel said as he cupped my face.

Turning around I let the kids know the news “Okay guys so this is my boyfriend and your guys’ new camp counselor for a week and a half, Mr. Ricciardo! You guys can go up to him and ask him questions just as you are able to come to me!”

“You guys can call me Daniel, there’s no need for formality. Alrighty, any questions?” Daniel corrected me

“HOW CAN I BE YOUR ASSISTANT IN FORMULA 1????” The older boy shouted which caused Daniel to let out a loud laugh before he answered the question.

This was going to be a fun week and a half.

Pierre: Therapist

To say that today has been stressful would be an understatement. The lady who was in charge of booking my appointments scheduled who people at the same time and then proceeded to fill my schedule today so I couldn’t place the poor girl anywhere so I did the only logical thing anyone would do: I skipped lunch.

Well skipping lunch obviously wasn’t the best idea ever because just about 4 patients after lunchtime is when my headache started settling in, right in that spot behind my eyes. God I hated headaches so much but I despised them even more at work because how am I supposed to be helping my patients if I can’t even think straight.

To make matters worse than they already were, the headache went from just being pulsing behind my eyes to throbbing every time I moved my head in the slightest moment. Thank god this meeting ended quicker than intended and I had 15 minutes before my next patient was to walk in which gave me time to pop a few ibuprofen’s and let it settle in, in hopes that this would go away before the next one walks in.

I must’ve drifted off because two seconds after popping the ibuprofen’s there’s a knock at the door. I suppressed my groan before letting out a weak “Come in!”

I heard the door open but I just couldn’t bring myself to lift my head up

“Woah, you look like shit.” I heard a thick french accent say as the person let out a little giggle.

I knew who the voice belonged to, the owner was my longtime boyfriend who I haven’t seen in 3 weeks but right now, I couldn’t even be excited because I was in pain.

“Pierre please, I love you but right now I have such a massive headache. I feel like I’m going to pass out.” I mumbled into my hands

“Did you eat? I brought food.” He said as he lifted up the bag of french food that he claimed I “needed” to try.

I reluctantly lifted my head so I was able to take a bite or two out of the food. After a few bites I could slowly feel my headache going away, letting out a satisfied groan I continued to dig into my meal.

“You look like you haven’t eaten in days” Pierre chuckled as he watched me absolutely scarf down the food he placed in front of me.

“I feel like I haven’t” was all I managed to get out before I finished my food.

By the time my next appointment arrived, my headache was nothing but a slight throb behind my eyes which I was eternally grateful for.

I made a mental note to thank Pierre in different ways when I got home.

Logan: Speech Therapy

I’d been working with this kid to say ‘Water’ for the past 20 minutes and I’m nowhere with him.

I work with kids who have trouble talking and I get them to where they need to be at whatever age they are. Like if the kid is 4 years old and isn’t talking, I have to work a lot with the kids to make sure that I can get him to talk and be at a 4 year old’s level of communication.

Something about this 4 year old though, I just can’t get him to say ‘Water’ no matter how hard I try. I glanced up at the clock noting that it’s almost lunch time and I would have to end our session soon.

“L/N, your boyfriend is here and he brought food for all of us!” My coworker Destiny said

“Logan, can you help me? I can’t get him to say ‘Water’ and I’ve been trying for the last 20 minutes” I’m pleading with anyone at this point to at least help me get some type of progress done with him.

I watched as Logan got at level with the kid before attempting his own way “Hey buddy, can you say ‘water’?” after a second of silence he tried again “say ‘wah’.”

“Wah” my body tensed at the kid talking

“ good! now say ‘ter’.”

“Ter” I can’t believe he’s doing it

“Yes! ‘water’ !”

“AMERICA”

“WHAT THE FUCK?”

Lance: Nanny

“Baby why are you here?” I shot around to face my boyfriend

“When the fuck did you get here?” I asked in disbelief

“I missed you. How about we dip?” The nerve of this handsome man.

“Lance, I’m babysitting YOURE NIECE because YOU didn’t want to”

“I’ll pay my sister to take her kid back”

“Jesus”

Oscar: Librarian

“Excuse me Ms, do you have the Pete the Cat book? Me and my friend really want to read it. Please” I heard a little girl say.

I looked down at her before typing in my computer to see exactly where in the store it was at.

“Yes, you can follow me right this way and I’ll take you to them!” I said as I made my way over to where the books were placed. “They’re right here then. Just come up and let me know if you need anymore help!” I said as I watched her and her friends grab different books before going over to the bean bags to sit and read.

Back at my desk I was trying to place pre-orders for the new Ana Huang book coming out. I only got to the part where I could place the amount I wanted in my cart before I was being asked a question

“Do you guys have the King Of series? My girlfriend really wants to read them.” I looked up from my computer only to be faced with my Fiancé of 6 months

“Oscar?? What are you doing here?” I asked in disbelief

“I was in the area. Okay well I was a few cities away but it was only a hour drive” He said shrugging

“You’re so weird. The books are this way” I said as I grabbed a hold of his hands to guide him the way to my favorite Authors section.

Max: Nutritionist

“Okay Mom so you want to make sure that baby gets as much veggies in his system and more water, Santa said he only puts kids on the nice list if they listen to their mom and eat what she gives.” I said as I directed that last part to her 5 year old son who scrunched his face before hiding behind his mom.

“See Chase, I told you that Santa said that. He didn’t want to believe that Mommy has ties with Santa.” She smiled at the last part before picking her son up to take him out. “Thank you again, Chase is going to eat his veggies, right Chase?”

“No!” he yelled

“Do you want to be big and strong?” A thick Dutch accent could be heard

“Uh huh!!” Chase replied

“We’ll eat veggies. That’s the only way.” I turned to see my boyfriend Max in the doorway of my office.

“Otay!”

“Oh well that was one way.” The mom shrugged

“Have a good day!” I shouted as she left “I don’t know how you did that”

“Kids love me”

“oh that’s not-”

George: Sports Coach

“RUN THE FUCKING LAPS NOW!!!” I screamed at the kids in front of me

To the outside world I would seem crazy for yelling at a bunch of kids like this but in reality, I’m coaching my brother and his bastard friends soccer team this season and they bet me $20 I wouldn’t say that in front of their parents, so that was a quick $20 I put in my pocket.

“CURSING AT KIDS NOW BABE?” My boyfriend George asked.

He was helping me coach them this year and he’s a really do-by-the-book type of guy and he really disapproved of me cursing at the kids.

“Sorry baby, they deserve it. They said that you’re too bad to be in F1” I said shrugging as I made up that lie

“RUN 2 FUCKING MILES NOW!!”

taglist:

@luckyladycreator2 @itsmiamalfoy @jeffs77 @ilivbullyingjeongin @forevercaffeinated-lee @daemyratwst @gulphulp @callsignwidow @f1wintermoon13 @teenwolf01 @victoriassecret101 @hiireadstuff @formulaal @eddieharrington @kazza72584 @zabwlky1999 @dark-night-sky-99 @rougekiki @xoscar03 @jess-wither @bountychanti @dhanihamidi @Ggasly.p @tellybearryyyy @a-panseuxalmess @love-simon @tallrock35 @iiaik0ii @Milkyymelanine @ilovsyou3000morgan

[clovestreet]

let me- ethan landry

an: i am absolutely FERAL for this man atm...😨i just had to write something abt him..

summary: you have been super stressed about exams lately and ethan knows the best way to make you feel better. (also this is DEFINITELY more soft ethan??) but i like that.. lol

warnings⚠ SMUT (16+), oral (f receiving), strong language

Hell on earth was organic chemistry.

Your absolute fucktard of a professor had scheduled your exam on the same day as two of your other exams. This man had it out for you.

You massaged your temple as you drummed your pencil on your notes. Your brain wasn't functioning anymore. You had been sitting at this godforsaken desk for three hours now. You needed a break.

You forced yourself out of your chair and faceplanted on your bed next to your boyfriend in defeat. You sighed into the mattress and tried to gather your thoughts.

"Something bothering you baby?" your boyfriend laughed as he rubbed small circles into your back, clearly amused by your frustration with trying to memorize aromatic compounds.

"I can't do this anymore E, "I'm actually so exhausted."

"I wish someone would just kill the stupid bastard." you groaned into your palms.

Ethan gulped and immediately froze in his movements and you weren't sure why. But then he was comforting you again like nothing had happened.

"I'm sorry baby. If it makes you feel better, I just failed my last exam."

You laughed as he pulled you closer, the grasp of his arms melting away your stress.

"Honestly, I don't know if anything could make me feel better at this point.”

“Unless you can teach me the structure of carboxylic acid." you said with your hands on his chest staring into his dark eyes.

His chest shook with laughter and it was music to your ears. Ethan was so comforting and even being in his arms took you to a place far away from your worries.

"Definitely can't do that, but I think I can take your mind off it for a little while." he murmured into your lips.

"Oh yeah? How's that?"

"Well it usually starts with my head between your legs” he says in a low whisper.

You immediately feel your cheeks flush with warmth and squeeze your legs together.

You completely froze and waited for him to finish his sentence.

“ ..And ends with you screaming my name or something like that." he says with a devilish smirk.

He grins like a lovesick bastard at your embarrassment and tilts his head down to connect his lips to yours. He smiles into the kiss and you can feel your pulse weakening at the way his tongue explores your mouth.

His lips travel down your neck and you know exactly where he's going. You pull him off of you and look him in straight in his hazy brown eyes.

You and Ethan had been together for a little over a year now and you had been intimate more times than you could even begin to remember. You still got nervous before he went down on you and you just couldn't help but feel insecure sometimes, but Ethan always made you forget about all of it when he touched you.

"E, are you sure? You really don’t have to, I-”

He immediately stops you with a confused expression on his face.

“Baby are you kidding? I live for this shit.”

“I should probably get back to studying E, I just-"

He cut you off again, this time taking your head into his hand and made sure you met his gaze.

"Fuck studying. Let me make you feel good babe."

His thumb gently brushed over your cheek as he searched your eyes for an answer.

"Ok, fine." you said softly with a shy smile on your face.

"That's my girl." he said with a grin spreading over his face as he placed the softest kiss on your lips.

His fingers danced their way over your ribs under your shirt and his lips were placing gentle kisses on your hipbones. His fingers made their way down to the waistband of your shorts and his eyes quickly glanced up to yours asking for consent. You quickly nodded your head, becoming more and more eager for him to touch you by the second.

He pulled down your shorts gently and tossed them behind him. He hooked his fingers under your lace panties and pulled them down painfully slow. Once they were off, he grabbed both of your legs and put them over his shoulders. He wrapped his arms around your legs and pulled them open.

He looked up at you through lustful eyes while licking his lips.

"I got you. Always." he said in a low whisper placing a kiss on your inner thigh.

You brushed a gentle hand over his curls and offered a weak smile to him. You could feel your anticipation for his touch becoming stronger and your legs were shaking before he even touched you.

You could feel his breath on you and you couldn't take it anymore. You wrapped your fingers in his curls and guided him onto you.

He licked up your slit as you sucked in a shaky breath. Your thighs immediately clenched around him, but his strong hands pulled your legs right back open. His tongue started to circle around your clit and your fingers were already tugging on his curls. He groaned into you and the vibration had you letting out a choked moan.

"Right there E." you gasped.

He looked up at your face contorted in pleasure and started to grind his hips onto to the bed. Ethan was the kind of boyfriend who genuinely could get off from pleasuring you and have absolutely no shame about it.

He was lost in the taste of you and you were lost in his touch. You couldn't even remember what you were stressed about in the first place. Your mind was consumed by the feeling of his tongue sloppily tasting you and swirling around your clit, the tight grip of his fingers prying open your thighs, his dark eyes peering up at you through hooded lids occasionally rolling back into his head every time you moaned his name.

His hand slid carefully down your thigh as he slipped his middle finger into you, pumping in and out at a deliciously slow pace.

Your fingers tugged harder on his curls and he practically moaned into you.

"F-feels so good E, you're so good" you whined.

"I know baby I know, I'm gonna get you there I promise." he murmured into you, pressing wet kisses on your clit.

His words made you toss your head back and your back arch off the bed.

He slipped another finger into you, pumping a little faster this time.

Your fingers loosened from Ethan's hair and slid down his bare shoulders. His fingers started to curl inside you, purposefully hitting the spot he knew would send you over the edge. You moaned loudly and your nails dug into his back.

He groaned into you so loudly it almost caught you off guard. If you hadn't known better, you would have thought you hurt him. But you knew better by now. His sounds sent you even closer to the edge.

"Come on babe, let go for me." he breathed into you.

You could feel yourself impossibly close to your high with Ethan's gaze trained on your face. The second Ethan's nose rubbed your clit you were done for.

All you could do was moan his name over and over again, your nails digging into his back sure to leave marks. He fucked you all the way through your high until you were practically dragging him off of you.

You put your hand on the back of his neck and guided him toward your lips. God, he was so beautiful, even with the taste of you glimmering all over his features. You pulled him down into a breathless kiss and brought him closer by draping your leg over his waist.

He drew back and cupped your jaw looking down at you.

"I really hope you're not thinking about studying anymore tonight, because all I want to do-"

"Shut up and kiss me Landry."

[alotofpockets]

Breaking point | Reneé Rapp x Reader

Where Reneé comforts you after exam season gets the better of you

Warnings: reader has anxiety, adhd, and an ed. If there any inaccuracies please let me know!

Reneé masterlist | Words: 1.5k

-----

Exam season was hated by most, and rightfully so. The stress put on students to learn everything the semester was for not just one subject, but all of them in the matter of a few weeks, was an insane amount. For you it wasn’t just stressful, it was almost impossible.

You had been at it for weeks now, sitting at your desk and trying to get the information in your brain. At this point you wondered what the use was. No matter how long you stared at the pages, none of the words you read stuck. Your ADHD was making it harder to focus than ever. Every noise, or glimpse of something in the corner of your eye, pulled your focus away.

The room was a mess. Textbooks, notes and flashcards were scattered not just on your desk but across the floor. Usually your chaos had some organisation to it, but now it was all just laying somewhere random. You cursed yourself for straying from your usual organisation, cause you couldn’t find anything, which only fueled your anxiety more.

On your desk also stood four half-full glasses with different contents, all started but long forgotten about before getting a new one. That seemed to be your pattern these days, starting something, then getting distracted and never finishing it. 

Food was a whole new topic. Your girlfriend had brought you a plate of food for breakfast earlier today. The gesture was really sweet, but even the thought of taking a bite was too much. Your mind convinces you that you didn’t deserve to eat until you retained some of the knowledge. Even though you were well aware that your body needed the nutritions, your brain kept you in the constant cycle of not being worthy of a meal.

You stared at the pages before you, and all the words blended together. This was no use. All subjects merged together, and you didn't think you could ever make sense of any of it. Your chest tightened as your mind started racing again. I am a failure. I can’t do this. Why can’t I just focus like everyone else? The more you tried to calm yourself down, the worse it got.

Before you knew it, your frustration boiled over. With a huff, you swipe your desk clean, sending everything crashing to the floor. The clash of your drink glasses and plates breaking onto the floor, matched with the scream you let out in frustration, makes your girlfriend rush into the room.

Reneé finds you on the floor with tears streaming down your face, trying to pick up the broken glass. “Baby?” She said softly, keeping her voice calm, even though her worry was still noticeable in her tone.

You look up at her with tears in your eyes. “I can't do this anymore.”, you sobbed. Reneé crouched down beside you, and took your hands in hers. “It's okay. Let's take a break, alright?” You shake your head, “I can't. I have to keep going.” The words echoing in your mind all rush out. “I have to get this done. I am running out of time. I can’t fail this.”

Reneé takes your hands in hers, a way to give comfort, but also to make sure you wouldn't cut yourself. “I know, darling,” Reneé said softly, her voice steady as she looked into your eyes. “But right now, you’re too frustrated. That’s not going to help you focus. You need a break, just to breathe, okay?”

You don't respond, but stop resisting, so Reneé stands up slowly. “Come on, I'll run you a bath to relax.” You let her help you up and fall into her arms. “I've got you baby.” She walks you to the bathroom, and helps you get ready for the bath. “Just try to clear your mind for a moment, I will be right back.” She placed a soft kiss onto your forehead before she left the bathroom.

With your eyes closed, you tried to push down the way your mind was racing. It took a while but then all of a sudden your mind was quiet, and you let the tension leave your body, and lay back in the bathtub.

In your study room, Reneé carefully cleaned up the broken glass. When all of the broken pieces had been thrown away, she took a look around the room, and realised that there was no order to your chaos. She knew you well enough to know that this wasn’t your system, and also good enough to know what was. She spent some time organising your notes as best as she could before she deemed the room ready.

She had also seen the untouched plate of food, and realised that you were probably struggling with it more again. Reneé had been there through the ups and downs of your eating disorder. You had been doing quite well with it recently, having it under control most days, but she should’ve known that the amount of stress you were feeling would affect that control.

Before she heads back to the bathroom, she heads into the kitchen and prepares some toast. Toast was the most likely item of food for you to be able to eat, and she hoped that today was one of those days where your mind would allow you to have at least a couple of bites.

She lets out a sigh of relief when she walks in and sees you have been able to let go of some of the stress. “Hi baby.” She lets her hand fall over yours as she kneels down besides the bath. You open your eyes slowly, “Thank you.” Reneé always knew what you needed, and you would forever be grateful that she would take care of you in your lowest moments.

Reneé had grabbed you some comfy clothes, and had gotten into some herself as well. You got dressed and she brushed your hair for you. “I made some toast, if you would like to have some. If not, we can just sit in the kitchen for a bit and talk.” You nodded in agreement, knowing that you needed some time away from the study room before you would be able to have any luck in retaining any of the information.

You took a look at the toast, and your mind had already decided that taking a break was more than enough of a freebie, so eating wasn’t going to be allowed either. To try and distract yourself from that fact, you chatted with your girlfriend. 

While getting distracted was usually something that frustrated you, getting distracted by your girlfriend had a different effect. It was easier to focus on her, when she talked about something she loved with nothing but passion, it was like you got sucked right in.

Without even realising it, you had taken a couple of bites of your toast, while listening to Reneé talk about a song she had started working on earlier today. Reneé noticed, but was quick to hide her proud smile, to not put the focus on that in the hopes of you getting a few more bites in.

It was only when you went to grab another piece of toast, and there was nothing left on your plate, that you realised you had been eating. “Wait, I just did that?” Now Reneé openly showed her proud smile, “You did.”

You looked at your plate in disbelief. “I can’t believe I just did that.” Having a meal without thinking about it was not something that often happened. “I’m proud of you darling.” She reached out her hand over the table and held yours.

“I know it’s a big ask, but what do you say we take the rest of the day off and just do some relaxing?” Your eyes shot up at her, and she knew instantly that she had to convince you further. “Movie night now, so you can be all recharged for tomorrow. I can even help you study like before? You can focus on my voice while I read out the information for you. How does that sound?” It took a lot out of you to agree, but you did. “Okay, you go get comfy in bed and pick a movie, and I will clean this up really quickly.” 

A few minutes later Reneé joined you in the bed and the two of you cuddled up together. “Thank you for always taking care of me.” You say softly. “Of course, I will always take care of my girl.”

While the exam season wasn’t over yet, you knew that the break tonight was necessary to push forward tomorrow. With that thought in mind, you were able to push away the stress you were having momentarily and enjoy the movie with your girlfriend.

-----

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[descendantsramblings]

Hi :)) idk if you’re accepting requests but I was just thinking…

I remembered that Hook canonically went to Eaton College, which is a pretty prestigious university, so he must actually be really fricking smart. I wish I knew what he studied tho :/ So anyway, I was hoping maybe you would write something (preferably x reader?) where he surprises everyone with his intelligence? I feel like the other VKs probably don’t actually know just how clever he is and would be taken off guard to realise it. I don’t have any specific situations in mind but I’d really like to see maybe reader acknowledge and recognise him as more than the pretty rebel he lets everyone see him as

I’m always accepting requests, it’s so fun getting to make things for someone, and it’s great writing practice. I’m almost done with all the ones I have, keep them coming 🩵

I love secretly smart characters, making a right old Evie out of him right now. I love him. (I had so many tabs open to get this right, so so many. I did Chemistry for the gag but it wasn’t worth the gag.)

Studious

James Hook x VK!Reader

Pronouns used: they/them/theirs

Summary: If it means that much to his partner, Hook can be a bit of a tutor

Warnings: pet names, swearing, sexual references, high school chemistry (Like the actual class that made me cry when I was a student), does sword fighting need a trigger warning?, Or fake moaning? Hook's partner making a joke about him having a thing for Morgie, Uliana almost makes a potion explode

Word Count: 3.5K

      Nervous fingers are shuffling through flashcards as the pirate walks into their dorm. His smirk being accompanied by raised eyebrows as he leans on the door frame, taking in the sight. They have their textbook and notebook spread out across the floor, sitting cross legged between the two. Pens and highlighters strewn around them and an empty notebook and study guide directly before them. (Y/n) is staring at them with a pout and wide eyes, huffing as they drop the flash cards beside them. “This is fucking ridiculous,” the words are barely a mumble, popping the knuckles on stressed hands as they say it. They stretch their shoulders back as well before reaching back down for the collection of brightly colored cardstock. 

   “Since when do you have to study, wizkid?” The words make their head shoot up, staring at the boy they hadn’t noticed had entered. “Since Chemistry is kicking my ass, I have to pass this exam or I’m going to fail the class again. If I fail it twice this year I won’t have enough credits to be a senior next year,” their voice is far too fast, rambling on as they reach back down for their study guide. “I thought you exempted all your exams,” he tilts his head as he speaks, watching them shuffle their cards for the third time since he made his way into the room. “Yeah, well I bombed my last two tests -like fifty-two and thirty-five level bombed- and all the As and Bs I have on experiments can’t save me there. So either I make an A on this exam or I fail the entire class for the second time. I am so royally screwed.” With a sigh, Hook makes his way over to the villain on the floor, falling to sit before them with crossed legs and an outstretched hand. “Give me the cards.” “No, I seriously need to study, James. I cannot go do whatever Uli sent you in here  for right now.” 

   He scoffs, leaning forward to snatch the cards from their loose grip on them. “I can come see my partner just because I want to be around them, you know. I don’t always have to be doing something for the group. I do enjoy your company, wouldn't be your boyfriend otherwise.” Dark eyes widen mockingly with raised brows as he finished the sentiment, head shaking in a near-bratty manner. He flips through the cards, letting his eyes ghost over the words and formulas. This was basic chemistry. He did this his sophomore year, he could probably do it in his sleep. “Even then, James, I really need to study. I cannot fail this again.” He lets his eyes cut up to them, a smirk still present across his pouty lips. “Oh of course you do, I can’t have my partner as a super senior. That’s just embarrassing for us both,” he drops the cards into his lap, reaching over for their study guide. He flips it over a time or two, barely reading it. 

  “Okay,” they draw out the word, reaching out to snatch their cards back from where they rest on his thigh, “Then let me study. Really, Honey, can’t you go harass Morgie or Bridget or something?” “Why harass them when my favorite person is right here struggling with the easiest subject ever? That’s much better material.”  (Y/n) scoffs, looking up at him from their flashcards. James is too busy looking over the back of their study guide to give them so much as a second glance, but his face holds this cocky expression. As if the boy is challenging them to snap back. “The easiest subject ever? As if. I bet you got a B in there at absolute best. I need more than a B on this to pass.” “I actually finished Chemistry One with a perfect score and finished AP Chemistry Two with a ninety-nine percent, since you’re asking.” He drops the papers into his lap, raising an eyebrow with the same challenging look in his eye as when he’s sparring against them. His hand shoots out for the cards again, flipping it from the one that they had been looking at and giving it a sparing glance. Eyes cutting back up to his partner just as quickly as they cut down, “Now, what is the definition of an intensive property?” 

    So they’re really doing this? (Y/n) guesses they shouldn’t argue, they do need the help. And if James is anywhere near as good as he says, this might be their best bet. “An intensive property is,” they let their eyes dart around the room, as if the decor on their walls would hold the answer. “Come on now, Love. Don’t draw it out. What’s an intensive property?” They bite their lip, looking down to their empty lap, “An intensive property is a property which does not rely on the amount of matter present.” A golden hook comes into their line of sight, tucking under their chin to lift their head up. When they look at Hook, he’s inches away from them, “Okay, and what are examples of an intensive property?” The hook beneath their chin moves, the sharp edge barely hovering below their skin. No looking away this time, that was a silent command for their eyes on him. “Boiling and melting points, density, and,” they snap their fingers, dragging out the one syllable word as they think. “And? Come on now, you know this.” “And,” they lock eyes with him, by god those brown eyes were captivating. It was like they were electric, sparking with some sense of excitement and pride that they couldn’t understand. Electric, that’s something right? Electricity isn’t a property of something though, but it seemed right. Why does it seem right? What did electricity have to do with intensive properties? “Conductivity,” they subconsciously cross the fingers on their right hand, staring into their boyfriend’s eyes with a longing to be correct. He nods, pulling them forward slightly. James kisses them with a feather light touch, smiling against their lips as they attempt to draw him closer. “See, I knew you knew it.” 

   They don’t get to respond before he’s drawing back, completely withdrawing his touch as he flips to the next card, dropping ��intensive properties” to his lap. “What’s an atomic number?”  “What? No, what was that? You barely kissed me,” they’re pouting, reaching out for a jaw that’s pulling away from them. “What’s an atomic number?” He raises his eyebrows as he speaks, pulling further away as they get on their knees to chase his fleeting lips, “If you want to kiss me you have to answer the question.” “The number of neutrons in an atom's nucleus. Now kiss me again,” they’re fully perched on their knees now, leaning over him as he leans back to get away. James makes a loud noise similar to the sound of a buzzer going off, dropping the card in his hand and using them to cover his mouth. “What is an isotope?” (Y/n) falls back with a huff, completely discouraged as they stare with gaped lips, “What? Where’s my kiss?” 

     He pulls the cards down to smirk over the neon green paper, “I don’t reward wrong answers.” “I wasn’t wrong!” “You were, it’s not the neutrons in the nucleus but what?” A frown crosses the villain’s lips, shoulders slumping as they realize what they’d done. “Protons.” He nods, humming as he raises his brows, “Okay, new question, what’s an isotope?” “You’re awful, this is awful.”  “What’s an isotope?” They rise back up on their knees with a smirk, “What about, one kiss when I correct myself, two kisses when I’m right the first time?” He shakes his head, rolling his eyes as he does, “How about you tell me what an isotope is?” “Oh come on,” they’re whining, a hand wrapping around his hook. “Come on and answer the question.” His brows are raised, watching them pout. With wide eyes and batted lashes they let a hand trail up from metal to leather, slowly making its way up to his shoulder. “Captain, won’t you please give me a kiss? I want one so bad. I need your lips.” In any other circumstance that would work, it always worked. But James was already glowing as he looked over notecards, shaking his head with his smirk far more of a smile than normal. “That’s not going to work this time, Love. Now answer the question.” This might just be his new torture method, and by god is it working. (Y/n) was going to go crazy if they didn’t get what they wanted soon. 

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

   As a pirate, Hook was no stranger to drawing out torture, but he couldn’t stand to sit still for long. His love of chemistry and watching the gorgeous villain in front of him squirm could only keep him bound to one place for so long until he felt as if he might be going stir crazy. Which is how they ended up in a clearing in the woods, standing in a wide stance with swords balanced in their hands. Iron making a sharp “X” between them as they press against one another.  The ravenous look in (Y/n)’s eyes surely matched the crazed look in his, smirks present on either villain’s lips. They made one hell of a sparring partner, he’d learned that the day they met. Never took much to get the two of them alone like this either, the boy longed for the other villain’s sportsmanship. A worthy opponent was hard to come by outside of Neverland, and his lover looked so good while sword fighting that he struggled to focus. Now though, as he spits out questions they struggle to follow, it seems like they knew how he normally felt. 

    They might have quick feet and strong arms, but their pretty mind is making them lag behind. Each time their swords would cross, he’d spurt out a new question, holding them hostage until they could find an answer he saw as fitting. Each wrong answer was met with a strike to their left, correct answers with a strike to their right. They’d start a new battle, clashing metal and devious laughter until one of them could find the other pinned once again. It was the most fun he’d had in years, that annoyed little pout on their face with each new question seemed to only make the game all the more fun. “What’s the atomic number of gold?” “Hook,” despite their tense body language, the name comes out on a whine, pout growing more than the boy thought was possible. “It is gold, yes, now what would its atomic number be?” He’s chuckling to himself and he awaits their response. Their eyes flicker around him, lip between their teeth. “Seventy-nine.” He jumps back from them, sword striking out at their right side. The motion is caught by their own sword while (Y/n) lets out a giggle. 

   “I got it right!” They use their sword to force the tip of his away, turning their body to the left as they strike out above his left shoulder. “That you did, Love,” he swings to the right with a smile, bringing his sword up to push against theirs. He twists his body, gaining the upper hand as he pushes against them. (Y/n) is cringing, realizing how close they were to being cornered by him again. How could they let themself get so distracted? He’s pushing them back, and though they push forward, their sword slides down again, both villains ending up eye to eye with a new iron cross section between them. “You made that too easy,” James smirks, looking them up and down. “I didn’t, you just, that question threw me off. I don’t even know how I knew the answer.” He shakes his head, “You can’t let yourself get thrown off in a sword fight love. Your other opponents might not be as forgiving as me.” He leans over the swords for a moment, pecking their lips before he squares his shoulders back. 

   Hook’s resistance was always strong and unforgiving in a fight, even when he allowed himself a moment of calm in the storm he created. The boy pushes harder on their swords, smirking at his lover as he raises an eyebrow. “What’s a homogeneous mixture?” There’s this flicker of something in his partner’s eyes. A giggle escaping their lips as they smile at him, head tilting to the side. “Isn’t that what you and Morgie are?” He pushes rougher against them, feeling the way their laughter shakes the sword in their iron grip. “Very funny, Darling. Now answer the question, unless you want to walk the plank,” he’s stepping closer, their swords sliding ever so slightly straighter against each other. “You wouldn’t dare, you love me too much.” He hums, shaking his head, “Positive? According to you, I love Morgie, so which is it?” 

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

     “You two are late,” she doesn’t look up from her cauldron as she speaks, Uliana automatically knows who’s wandering in by their footsteps. The sounds are perfectly in sync, heavy pairs of boots falling in time as if they moved as one. When the two become visible in the hideout, their faces are red with a sweat sheen across their foreheads. Hook’s arm adoringly around (Y/n)’s waist as they lean against him,  the clothing of both teens ruffled from the movements they’d made while jousting. It’s cozy, needy, and the couple’s appearance quickly attracts the attention of Morgie and Hades. Both boys look to their friends with a smirk, cutting each other a sparing glance before turning back. “What have you two been up to?” Hades gives them a once over taking in how Hook’s shirt had come untucked and the wrinkles in the hem of (Y/n)’s top. “Been helping (Y/n) study for chemistry,” Hook shrugs, falling into a chair and pulling his partner down into his lap. Warm arms encapsulate the villain as they lean into his touch, smiling as his head settles on their left shoulder. A kiss being pressed to the shell of their ear earning the boy a hum.

     The sound of Hades laughing fills the room, his eyes rolling in their sockets, “Yeah, I’m sure you have been.” Hook can tell where this is going from a mile away, especially with the gorgeous look of exhaustion taking over his lover’s face. Relaxed muscles that are hidden behind heat blushed flesh. Sweat shines on their forehead and neck while their eyelids hang lower than normal. (Y/n) always looked tired and blissed out after a good duel, smiling lazily as they cling to him. He knew how they looked, and with the genuine topic at hand it definitely seemed like Hook had done nothing more than making an innuendo. If he was honest, part of him hoped that the boys thought it was an innuendo, tutoring just wasn’t his style. “We were, Hades. Excellent study session, actually. Of course, (Y/n) has always been the smartest person I know.” The god raises his brows, smirk growing as he turns to Morgie, “You don’t say. Morgie, I bet you overhear a lot of those study sessions, don’t you?” The sorcerer smirks right back, an evil glint resting in his eyes, “Oh yeah, I think the last one was English though. Studying a poem maybe?” 

    (Y/n) feels Hook’s hand sneak onto their thigh as the boys talk, an amused smirk resting on their face. He lets his fingers spread, taking up as much of the plush part of their leg as he can. “Really, Morgie? Why would you say that?” Hades is letting his eyes flicker between the overly cozy couple and Morgie as he speaks, watching for tell-tale signs that the villains were flustered. “Oh you know, I just recognized the opening line,” his finger taps his chin as he speaks, “What was it again? Oh yeah!” Morgie’s face falls to mimic a blissed out expression, hand gripping on his chest as he speaks on a nearly pornographic moan, “Oh Captain, my Captain!” Hades and Morgie fall into each other’s sides laughing, the noise they’re making earning an annoyed scoff from a preoccupied Uliana. “If you two idiots could make yourself useful, that would be great,” she’s turning, grabbing a vial of rattlesnake venom from a shelf. 

   “Study session isn’t over, Love,” Hook’s voice is soft, plush lips moving against the shell of their ear as he whispers. His words lead to them whining, head falling back against his shoulder as they pout. “My head is too full, Baby. I’ve had enough.” He chuckles, kissing their cheek as his finger moves across their thigh in an “S” shape. “Tell me the element,” he whispers, repeating the shape across their leg. “Sulfur,” they mumble, eyes focusing in on the way Uliana moves. He kisses their shoulder, “Good job.” He draws a circle next. “Oxygen.” Another kiss falls on their shoulder. It becomes a pattern. He’d draw the symbol of an element on their thigh, they would tell him the name of it. The shape repeats until they get it right, ones they got correct on the first try lead to them being rewarded with a kiss to the shoulder or neck. 

    Somewhere, though it’s partially tuned out by the pirate and his lover, Morgie is explaining what Uliana is up to.  Something about making a potion to sneak into Charming’s food, apparently he spilt Uliana’s drink all over her when she was leaving a coffee shop. Some sort of spell to make the boy clumsy enough to spill everything on himself for twenty four hours. (Y/n) can’t focus on that, not with the way that James is tracing a “Y” on their inner thigh. What element’s symbol was “Y”? “You’re making that up,” they mumble and he shakes his head against them in response. “Think harder.” “It’s too hard to think when you’re doing it there,” the words come out in a hiss, eyes cutting over their shoulder to see the smirk on his face. “Try harder then, Love.” 

   Maleficent makes her way past them, holding a little vial of something as she does. “It took forever to find this shit in the AP Chem room, just so you know. Better be worth the trouble.” Uliana scoffs, reaching an arm out for it, “It will be.” Hades and Morgie stand up to follow the dark pixie, the god cutting James and (Y/n) a look. His eyes zero in on Hook’s hand, laughing softly, “God, Hook, you are just insatiable.” The pirate winks at him over (Y/n)’s shoulder, kissing their shoulder as they softly mumble, “Yttrium.” “Good job,” he coos, letting his eyes follow the other villains. Maleficent said she’d taken something from the chem room, what is it?     “What you got there, Mali?” She turns to smirk at Hook, “Finishing ingredient to the potion. Though, it looks like we could have just got it off of (Y/n). What have you been doing to them to have them sweating like that, Hook?” His brows furrow, looking at the vial of powder in Uliana’s hand as she stands dangerously close to the fire-heated cauldron. They could get it from (Y/n)’s sweat? What could she be- his blood runs cold as Uliana goes to pull the stopper out of the bottle.

  “Uliana, don’t!” He’s throwing a very startled (Y/n) off of his lap as he jumps up, running towards the group. “What, you have a soft spot for Charming now?” He’s shaking his head furiously as he reaches out for the vial. “You can’t put that in there right now. It needs to cool.” Her  arms cross, holding the vial away from his panicked hand. “What are you talking about?”  Dark eyes stay trained on the vial, shaking his head as he speaks, “That’s sodium, right? That’s what the joke about the sweat means?” She nods, a brow raised as she waves a hand for him to hurry up and explain himself. “So, you cannot add heat to sodium.” “People add heat to salt all the time, Hook. We’ll be fine.”  She’s not listening, she never listens.

   “It’s not salt, Uli. Sodium is only half of salt.” “The other half is chlorine,” (Y/n) calls out from the other side of the room. And Hook smiles slightly, giving them a thumbs up behind his back. “So what, you’re saying that I can’t use it?” Uliana is obviously growing tired of him, but there seems to be a gear turning in Maleficent's head. “Not with heat, unless you don’t like having eyebrows,” Hook shakes his head, an arm once again reaching out for the vial. “Are you threatening me?” He groans, dragging his hand down his face, “Fine Uliana, add heat to Sodium and make it explode. Explode with it for all I care. It’s your funeral.”  Hades looks between the two, watching Hook storm away from them as he extinguishes the fire under the cauldron. “Uliana, just let it cool. Hook, you two were actually studying chemistry?” He scoffs, waving him off, “I am more than a pretty face, Hades.” “But, you were all tired and sweaty?” “Made me answer questions while we were sword fighting,” (Y/n) shrugs. “But, his hand moving on your inner thigh?” “Tracing atomic symbols on their thigh,” Hook shrugs, reaching out for his partner who walks into his arms with a giggle. They were actually studying? Who in their right mind studies like that? Not that Hades has ever thought the couple were in their right mind.

[renzieluvsvt]

imperfect love

pairing: ex!chan x fem!reader

genre: angst, fluff, smut

word count: 2k (got longer than i wanted-)

summary: after breaking up with your boyfriend because of misunderstandings, he shows up at your apartment after midnight leading to the night you had been missing.

warnings: parental issues, nipple sucking, spitting (on the palm tho), nicknames (like baby, babygirl, sweetheart etc), sex talk [if missed out anything then please lemme know !!]

a/n: tysm anon for this request !! i really really enjoyed writing this as i have always been into such plots👀

no proofread +if you really wanna enjoy the smut then good for yall ive made a distinguishable divider for the smut so hope y'all enjoy !! love yall<333

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

it had been nine months since your breakup yet you couldn't be used to the empty house after he moved out. as you were lost in your thoughts wondering what went wrong and made him quit, you were interrupted by a knock at the door that startled you. you looked up at the clock which read 02:36 am, you didn't have track of the time after you were reminiscing the good old days with your, well now, ex-lover. there was another, yet more desperate knock on the door but this time you heard your name being called out too. you ran to the door and opened it to just be welcomed by your ex-boyfriend, lee chan.

.⋆｡⋆☂˚｡⋆｡˚☽˚｡⋆.

the two of you had known each other since the middle school then started dating in the first year after he asked you out saying that he had been liking you for a year. things went pretty well. the both of you got into the same college which made the both of you to decide to share an apartment that would help you both in many ways from rent to spending more time with each other. it was like a dream to have a person like him as your boyfriend, so loving, so caring&funny and so hot especially in bed.

the both of you would study together after the classes and fuck each other at night. it went on for about the first two years of uni. the both of you were living the best life but thats what you thought. in the third year, you started changing. probably due to the stress of studies because of how tough it was getting. chan was born as a sports genius. he was into sports, never attended much of the classes and barely studied. but luckily he used to pass the examinations, not with the best marks but good enough to not make him fail. but here you were being studious to reach the dreams that you had for yourself. acing every exam was your goal.

as studies got harder, the late night fucking sessions with your roomie boyfriend turned into late night study sessions. the romantic dates were getting lesser month by month and thats when the both of you had an argument about how he got less attention and how he wasnt understanding the importance of exams to you. thats when you broke up with him and his ego packing his bag to leave the apartment you had found for the two of you.

the both of you finished the third year your uni. it was now the final year and you had been busy preparing for it. studying after break up was hard and paying attention to his sports was hard for him too. but you let things go with flow to the direction where you guys wont be together, ever by never approaching him and never letting him approach you until now.

.⋆｡⋆☂˚｡⋆｡˚☽˚｡⋆.

as you opened the door, he smiled after seeing your face after such a long time. "y/-", he called you name again under his breath before you cut him off.

"why are you here?" his smile disappeared after listening to the tone of yours. "why are you really here cha-"

"i missed you y/n, please get back to me y/n", he said with a crack in his voice. but you didn't care about it. you scoffed at his words before you said, "why? is it because you want to get back into the apartment?"

chan was confused with the words that you were shooting at him directly, too harshly. he frowned back at you with confusion as his eyes were welled up wity tears as he couldn't understand what made you turn into such a person.

"why are you really here chan? why are you creating such a n-nuisance at such an unholy hour?", you said with not much feelings but bitterness that was there in your heart. he kept on staring at you with tears, patiently listening to the shot you were blabbering until you pressed his button. you scoffed again and continued your sentence, "or is it because you just want sex from me?"

that was when it was enough for chan. he pushed you into your apartment, making you yelp. he locked the door as you continued to look at his back.

"y/n? what the fuck is wrong with you? are you even aware of what you are saying? did you even think before you spoke those wor-", he yelled at you while tears running down his face. before you cut him off again. "YESS CHAN YESS", you stunned him.

"listen, give me this one last chance to clarify what i really meant that night", he begged with tears still running down his face. you wiped off the tears that were rolling down on your face. "sure then, try changing my mind", you said with a firm tone to act strong but from the inside, you were hoping it had a good reason for you to stop resenting him to make you feel like an object that he used just for his pleasure.

he sat down on one of the couches in the living room while you stayed there standing. he started off by telling how he had been facing parental issues after his parents decided to part their ways, making them fight over chan even more. after a month of his father winning the custody over him, he became a drunkard and neglected his duty as the father. to the point where he refused to pay for his uni fees and his soccer training fees, making him look for part time.

you were stunned listening to this part of his life. you couldn't believe how much he had been going through.

when you asked him why he never told you about this, he simply said that he didn't want to bother you as you were pressured about the exams already. you cried to his words as it made sense.

you realised how occupied you were to fulfil your dreams and greed to ace every exam that you completely neglected your boyfriend. the worse, you misunderstood the man who had been worrying and caring about you. the resentment for chan vanished but was replaced by the hatred for yourself.

out of guilt and regret, you stand there crying vocally. chan stood and tried to calm you down as you kept on apologising to him, voice muffled by the hands that were covering your face. "im so sorry c-chan, im soo sorry chan", you kept on repeating even after he hugged you tight, your head on his chest.

"its okay y/n, i shouldn't have acted in that way that ni-" "no chan", you cut him off. this time you hugged him while on your toes to reach his height. "chan, im sorry for not paying attention to you. sorry for being too drawn in myself that i could never be that girlfriend you deserve", you said as you held him tight as if trying to make up for the time you both were apart, missing each other's confort and warmth.

"but listen", you said as you parted from the hug. you hesitated before saying that you had on you mind. "what is it dear?", he said in his sweet voice while cupping your face to make you look up at him. but you still had your eyes looking at the ground. "um channie", you continued. "hmm im here sweetheart", you hated the timing he was using these nicknames, making you really rethink what you were about to say. but you did.

"channie, i would understand if you want to still part your ways from me. i have been bad. never paid attention to you, even made you move out of our shared apartment at night and surely alot more. i will under-", before you could continue he stopped you with a kiss.

his broad hands cupping your face, deepening the kiss while his eyes are shut. soon you give in too, give into the passionate kiss that said alot even without the usage of words. you could still understand the love that existed between the two of you even after the things that happened.

he broke the kiss to look into your eyes, "y/n, i have loved you and will keep loving you. i cant even imagine myself without you. please dont even talk about something like this, okay?", he said with a smile. soon, his eyes kept on looking between your eyes and yours lips. this time you kissed him, desperately. you had been missing him, especially after the break up.

｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆

he understood your body language and led you to your bedroom without breaking the kiss. he laid you down and within a second, all of your clothings were thrown around in the room while his body was over yours. kissing you, deep and hard while your hands ran through his hair deepening the kiss even more. the two of you couldn't get enough of each other. he soon broke the kiss to just have his lips latch over your neck, kissing it down. "mine, mine, mine", he said while marking your neck, while playing with your tits, while sucking on to it.

he kept on repeating until he went dangerously low, reaching your wet cunt. "mine", he said again but with a smirk this time as he locked his eyes with you. lord, you swore you could have come there itself. but you were in for a longer night.

he got onto his knees to bury his face into your pussy, drawing a gasp from you. you could feel him smile. he soon gave it a lick then started sucking onto your clit. "fuc- lord", you moaned as you arched your back in pleasure. he looked up at yoir figure that was enjoying what he was doing. he spread your legs wider and suck harder and soon started teasing your hole.

you fucking hated how you were so transparent about how good he made you feel. "baby let it out, tell me how you feel", he said. "fuck you chan, you are so good", you said. with a smirk he started off with his sinful acts to draw the most sinful sounds at an unholy hour.

you squeezed your tits and grabbed his hair as he ate you out, soon letting you come all over his face. you were a panting mess but you could feel two of long and slender fingers enter you with no mercy. "aah- om- fuck chan", you moaned, loud enough for y'all to have the neighbours here and complain but did you care about it? nope. who would and who could when your partner was making you live in heaven right now.

"you like that baby? did you miss my fingers fucking you like this?", he said with a dominating voice while scissoring out your tight pussy that hadn't been fucked by his thick cock since you dont know when. all you could reply with was a whimpering. "words babygirl", he said while slapping your pussy hard. "mm- yes i missed you so much chan! i missed getting fucked by you chan, ah-" he went on to finger fuck you even after you reached your high to help you come down from the heavy orgasm.

you saw him suck his fingers clean and brought his palm to your face. "spit", you did as he commanded. he brought his palm to rub his already leaking cock, making you clench on nothing. "be a good girl for me okay sweetheart?" you nodded in response. "words baby", he said hitting your sensitive clit with his hard thick cock. "mm yes channie, will take all of you. fuck me like you want channie, need you", you were literally a begging mess for the cock that had been fucking you the best.

he brought both his arms at each side of your head and kissed you on your forehead, "i missed you y/n." you kissed him on the lips in response. then his cock slowly entered you, making you whimper and enjoying the pleasure with your eyes shut. he watched you and your pussy taking him so well. after he entered you completely, he waited for you to adjust to it because he knew it too that he was big and thick enough to break aprat without any preparation. after you gave him a sign, he slowly started thrusting in you and soon he was fucking you senseless. the room being filled with the sex air, your moans, his groans and the sound of skins clapping.

"you missed this baby? my cock buried in your pussy? missed my cock fucking you this hard, huh?", he said many more things that you couldnt catch on because you were in your pleasure and focussing on reaching your high.

"fuck-", you screamed when you felt his fingers rub your hard clit. he loved watching you squirm under him. all for him. "chan- ah- fu- fuck", you came with a loud moan. not soon after he came undone.

but he stayed in you for a while more. the both of you smiled at each other sleepishly after the heavy orgasms you both had.

"i love you", you said. "i love you too and more", he said and kisses you on your lips. "now lets get you cleaned up baby", he said to which you protested by hugging him tight suffocating yourself from the heavy body over you. but you missed this. you missed chan.

"i'll treat you better channie, i love you", you said. no one could keep you two apart, not even the misunderstandings. you two were meant to stay together, forever.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

[obey-me-disaster]

Hi i was wonderinf if you could make a fic about ghe om charactess reactind to MC doing sh or sum causr im in teh moos to cry rna nd i cant dind ahy good angstfisc lmqo

/not forsce

A/N:Sorry for the long wait! I have decided to brake it into smaller fics for every character instead of one big fic. I will have to do separate posts for it most likely.

CW: self harm, self depricating thoughts, suicidal thoughts, starving as a self punishement/as a way to cause harm

Disclamier: This is inspired from personal experience, so I may not be able to capture the full depth of this topic or how it affects different people. I may rewrite parts of it in the future.

Lucifer x gn!MC

Mammon x gn!MC

Lucifer, Mammon x gn!MC that self harms

When the exchange program first begun MC's safety was regarded as something vital for Diavolo's plan. No one was expecting the way the human exchange student would become so beloved by so many people.

As time went on everyone was so captivated by MC that they failed to realize that they have put them on some sort of pedestal. Sure, the angel, sorcerer and the demons were observant of the way MC was acting but no one wanted to expect something bad was happening to them, especially when they were quick to reassure everyone that nothing was wrong with them.

There were times when the human would be withdrawn from everyone. Times where they looked like they have no energy left and were lost in their own world or times when they were quick to getting annoyed, wanting to be away from everyone. Excuses such as 'I am stressed because of exams' 'I have not been sleeping enough' 'Just one of those days' could only get them so far with beings older than their entire bloodline.

"I know there is something bothering them but every time I try to ask them, they always hit me with one of those lame excuses!" Huffing Mammon stops pacing around and sits on the couch.

"That's exactly why everyone gathered here today. MC is obviously hiding something from us and it has been going on for longer than it should." Placing down the tray full of snacks Simeon continued. "I would love to think we are just overthinking it and MC is fine, but it has become clear that's not the case."

Shifting uncomfortably in his seat Leviathan decided to join the conversation. "MC also stopped joining me for our gaming nights. They were always looking forward to our nights but now every time I ask them to join me, they just dismiss me.." the last part was barely above a whisper.

"Levi does make a point. MC's mood changes have become more frequent and their body language has also changed. It's like they're trying to hide their body from us." Satan tried to make heads of the whole situation. "We could rule out the attack from another demon. They don't smell of blood and their body doesn't seem to be affected by a wound."

While Satan was mumbling to himself, everyone was thinking of MC's behavior, anything that could give them a clue on what's wrong with them.

"If I stay and think about it, they are also refusing to eat as much as they used to, even when they are clearly hungry. I have left some snacks for them so they won't get hungry, but I don't know if MC ever ate them or not." Beel tried to recall all the times MC refused to eat, but just thinking about it made him lose all his appetite.

"Now that we're putting together all of these 'new' habits of MC makes it clear that there is something going on." Diavolo ran a hand through his hair as he sighed. "Solomon, you're the only other human in the whole exchange, maybe you have a better idea of what's happening to them..."

All eyes turned towards the sorcerer, waiting for a response that would help them understand the whole situation. "I actually may suspect something but none of you will like it.." Solomon waited to see if any of them would make a comment, but when that didn't happen he continued on with his explanation.

"As Satan said, their body language has changed and they are trying to cover their body more. The idea of an attack or a curse can be ruled since that would have been observed by now." Everyone nodded, everything he said up until that point was already established. "I am not gonna beat around the bush but I think they may be self harming in some kind of capacity. It's not to the point where it draws blood so we can rule out any kind of cutting. It still doesn't make the situation good but there is at least that..."

"Now what?! We can't let then continue, can we??" Mammon snapped at them out of frustration over the situation. "Going over to MC to confront them about the whole situation won't help them either." Lucifer said as a matter of fact. "For now we will act as if we don't know until we come up with a way to approach the subject."

Seeing as there was nothing else to add to the discussion everyone decided to end things there. Luke could distract MC out of the Purgatory Hall for so long after all.

Lucifer

After the group discussion he decided to watch over MC more closely. Lucifer would often invite them in his study room to talk about their day or if anything was bothering them and every time MC would try to retreat away from everyone, he would take them out on a walk or on dates.

This went on for a little under two weeks before he decided to finally have a talk with them. While MC seemed to be more relaxed than before it was clear that they were not going to open up with him any time soon, and he refused to sit by and let them hurt themself in any capacity.

"So, what did you want to talk about? I am not in trouble, am I?" MC was sitting next to him on the couch. Lucifer has called them a bit earlier into his room with the excuse of 'talking about some recent problems'.

"You are not in trouble, no." Taking a sip from his cup of demonus. "I am not about to waltz around the subject now that you're here." Setting the glass down he took one of their hands in his own and started to gently rub his thumb over their knuckles. "There is something bothering you and I don't want to hear any of your old excuses. Please, tell me the truth so I can help you." From the look the avatar of pride gave them, they knew there was no backing out of this discussion.

He could feel MC's whole body tense up at his question. They stared at him for a while, opening and closing their mouth every time they would try to come up with some sort of excuse only give up. Lucifer waited for them patiently to find their words. If anyone knows how hard it can be to let yourself be vulnerable is him, so he was not gonna rush them. He already approached the subject in a not so gentle manner, to demand more, at least for now would only push MC away.

Finally giving up on coming up with excuses or trying to find a way to make the situation seem less bad than it is, MC leaned their head against Lucifer's shoulder. "Was it that obvious? The way I've been acting.."

"Yes, it was quite obvious, everyone is worried about you" He didn't need to look at MC to know that they winced at the knowledge that everyone knew. "They won't swarm you with questions, I will make sure of that."

"Thank you, Lucifer, I really don't want to deal with all of that, not yet at least.." Despite being more relaxed they still squirmed in their place every so often.

"No need to thank me, we're here for you after all" Kissing the top of their head, both of them settled into a comfortable silence, mainly to give MC time to gather their thoughts.

"I...I guess for starters you want to know for how long I've been feeling like this." Lucifer merely gave them a nod. "Well...I guess not for long. At least since me coming to Devildom. You see, before coming here I didn't have the best self esteem and wasn't that satisfied with my life. When I got chosen for the exchange program, I didn't mind it that much, I saw it as an opportunity to turn over a new leaf."

MC leaned over, their head leaving Lucifer's shoulder, in an attempt to put some distance between themself and Lucifer "And it worked for a while, I met people that care about me a lot, I got better as a person and I was kept busy by the ongoing shit that happens around." Remembering all of the shenanigans they went through brought a smile to MC. "But it's not like my problems disappear. Sure I made progress, but worries that I had in the past came back, past problems transformed into new ones and little by little I got into bad past habits."

Letting out a shaky sigh they continued. "Little by little I got into self destructive habits, such as refusing to do things I would, hiding myself from other to even starving and doing things that would cause me some kind of pain."

Lucifer could only curse himself for not noticing how his lover felt sooner. He put his arms around MC and pull them close to him, making sure to rest their head on his chest as he lowered himself to lay on the couch. While they still couldn't look at him directly they at least didn't push him away. "How about you stay the night in my room? You can talk about what's bothering you in peace, no one will dare to just walk in my room."

Wrapping their hands around his waist, MC made themself comfortable on top of him. "I'm warning you, it might take a while before I fully open up." Chuckling at their words he tighten his hold on them. "Take your time, we have more than enough."

Mammon

Mammon has always been the one to look over others without being really noticed. When they fell from the Celestial Realm he was the one that looked over his brothers and reminded Lucifer that everyone followed him for a reason. He was the one that decided to look over a girl from the human world and help her financially until she is old enough to do it on her own. He was the one assigned to look over MC, to make sure they are safe and well and yet here he was. Pacing around his room, trying to think of a solution on how to approach them.

He couldn't help but be reminded of the whole attic incident, more exactly how MC hid their true reason on why they were making pacts with his brothers. He didn't know what hurt more, the fact that they couldn't trust him or the fact that MC is suffering and he can't do anything about it.

Frustrated he decided to go see them, he didn't exactly have a plan but he was damned if he wouldn't try something. Even if nothing could be done today he will make sure to at least make their day better.

Barging into their room Mammon tried to call out to them but stopped when he heard MC weakly groaning from beneath their bed sheets "Can you tone it down a bit? I've got a nasty headache."

Frowning, the demon made his way next to their bed. Even when he took a sit next to them, MC made no effort in turning around to face him. "What's gotten into you? Ya look all sick and frail" Mammon tried to put his hand on their forehead in order to check their temperature but they shied away from his touch.

Looking at the state of his human, any and all plans of taking them out to town fell apart. "MC, talk to me, what's wrong? And don't give me the 'I'm just sick' excuse, it won't work." Looking at MC, he tried to see if they would react in any way but they only shifted uncomfortably.

"It's nothing serious, I am just tired from catching up with all the homework from RAD, so I need a little bit of rest." MC tried to explain themself but it didn't fool Mammon one bit.

The last of his patience about asking MC about the truth finally disappeared after hearing their overused excused. Lying in bed next to them he put his arms around their waist. When MC made no move to try and get out of his hold, he pulled them closer to him. While they still faced away from him at least it didn't feel like there was such a great distance between the two of them.

"We both know that's a bullshit excuse.." Mammon's voice, while sounding unimpressed, it held no malice. Still, it didn't stop MC from tensing up in his arms.

"Come on, it's me Mammon, you're first man, you can tell me everything don't you? What's bothering you?" He mumbled while burying his face into their shoulder.

Guilt was starting to eat MC up after hearing Mammon's words. They could feel tears trying to come out so they opted to turn around and burry their face into Mammon's chest.

" You're right, I am sorry..." they said trying to hide the fact that they were on the verge of crying.

Relieved at seeing MC starting to open up he continued to press on the issue at hand. "It's ok, you've got me here, why don't ya start from telling me how you're feeling right now?"

The human took a few moments to come up with a way to explain their situation at the moment. "You see, I wasn't lying when I said I have a headache. It's just that, it's a result from me skipping meals for a while or so. In fact, my body feels so weak that I can barely move..." They internally winced at their explanation but they didn't have much time to dwell on it when Mammon sat up looking alarmed.

"What do you mean by that?! Why's that? Don't tell me you're trying one of Asmo's crazy diets?" Looking down on them, he tried to see if there is anything else he should take notice off, besides their nasty glare.

"Nothing of that sorts, don't worry." Turning on their back they stared up at the ceiling, looking right past Mammon. Being relieved at their words he decided to make himself comfortable in bed next to them.

"You see, it's an old habit of mine to skip meals. But when I get stressed or start to feel overwhelmed I start taking that habit to an extreme." Hearing them talk, Mammon is able to take note of how weak their voice sounded

"I lose all motivation to eat, and when I start feeling nauseous and the pain in my stomach starts to get worse, it pushes me to do it more and more until I am left lying helplessly in bed. The more pathetic I feel, the more reasons I have to skip meals and make this feeling of helplessness last longer." Sighing, some silent tears rolled down from the corner of their eyes.

Kicking himself mentally, Mammon decided to take a mental note to watch their eating habits more carefully in the future. "But what set you off? Was it the workload from RAD?" He asked them hoping to get a better understanding of what was bothering them.

"I honestly don't know...it's a mix of that and some other stuff, but I don't want to think about it now." MC's voice held some resentment as they explained. That was the cue for Mammon that he won't get any more information out of his human for that night.

Still, he couldn't leave them in that sorry state, not as long as he was there to take care of them. "I am going to make you one of my famous instant noodles just for you, so ya better be thankful!"

Just as he was about to leave the room he turned one last time towards them. "Afterwards be prepared to go on a ride with me, I will take you to some places in here Devildom you've never seen before."

MC merely gave him a nod but that was more than enough confirmation for him as he went to prepare everything he needed.

A/N: So, this is getting way too long so I will stop it here for now. I will come back to update it in the future for the rest of the characters, but I don't want it to sit in my drafts any longer.

[crazy-pages]

Just thinking about my old undergrad professor, Dr. Anderson.

We had an exam in his class, which he told us was an intentionally hard test meant to really drill down on our understanding, in what was known as a weed-out class. Lots of people who failed it shifted to engineering majors instead.

It was an absolute bloodbath across the board. One of the most stressful exams of my life, with us mourning scores all the way back to the dorms. I said my highest score must surely be 25%, and someone laughed and called me lucky for even finishing 25%. Eventually scores did come in and it was exactly that bad. Unmitigated slaughter. And you know what Dr. Anderson did?

He apologized. He said that while the exam was meant to be hard, the goal was to identify struggling students for 1-on-1 attentions, maybe a problem topic or two, and yeah, give students a taste of what minimally structured physics problems are like so students who aren't about that know to change tracks. Clearly however, he'd failed to help us understand some foundational topics and not realized it early enough, and not focused enough on teaching us the problem solving skills we needed. He offered a number of extra review slots, said the department had emergency reassigned a TA for the next month to help us with studying, and promised he'd do everything he could to bring us back up to speed. And it worked. We got back on track.

He set a damn good example, and I think about him often, whenever I'm teaching or tutoring people.

But I probably don't think about him enough, to be honest. It's the abusive and negligent advisors I had and the callous administration policies which I think about most often. But as much as they made things hard, he was just as successful in helping me get to where I am today. And the job he did, building people up, took a lot more skill and work than tearing them down.

I only made it to the point where I could be fucked over by terrible advisors because a lot more people like Dr. Anderson poured their lives into raising students like me up.

[moonysbxtch0]

505

Part 8: Failure

Summary: You face the consequences of the prank you did last night...

Pairing: Remus Lupin x werewolf student

Warnings : mentions of guiltless, shame , sexual thoughts,teasing, slight praise kink.

Ao3 link : https://archiveofourown.org/works/39275319/chapters/111652351#main

<•>

Remus stretched his hand on the air and groaned. He had been up all night,he was on watch duty and he was feeling tired. He couldn't even skip given that he had missed more than enough classes because of his condition. So with that thought he had made his way to his class thirty minutes ago , waiting for the many students to arrive.

They were slowly coming one after the other, bidding him good morning and taking their seats. Judging by their faces they seemed anxious. He had to say something to at least try and cheer them up before they started the exam. He stood up from his seat,ran a hand through his hair and moved in the center of the classroom.As he did ,the smell of someone familiar filled his nose. He titled his head and saw none other than you.

You looked tired. He smiled. He didn't want to let this opportunity pass.

"Good morning everyone." He greeted and the class said the same thing in choir. You had taken your seat ,eyes on him. He moved his eyes to yours and smirked." Hope you slept well." You furrowed her eyebrows in confusion and then Remus moved his eyes to the rest of the class." Before we start the exam I would like to let you know that this exam will cover about forty percent of your grade this semester. The exam is not re-doable, I'm sorry to any of the students who missed the exam but I mentioned it last time that I won't be giving second chances." The class groaned in dissatisfaction at the learned info." Come on ,guys." Remus clapped."You've been studying hard.Try not to stress about it ,you can do it. It's just knowledge we've learned. Now let's start,books away,no talking and obviously no cheating unless you want to automatically fail."

<•>

Everyone had put their heads down and was writing. The classroom was enveloped by a comfortable silence but even he could feel the tension in the air. Remus started worrying. If they stressed about this exam, he couldn't imagine how they would feel about their N.E.W.T.S. He couldn't blame them. Hell no one should. They had one incompetent professor after the other. They had worked hard anyway but a student can only go that much in their own.

"Marcus,if you move on more time,I will get your paper and you'll fail. Am I being clear?" He warned when he noticed Marcus bothering one of the Gryffindor students. Marcus just glared at him. Remus shook his head.He took a look around the class and he found the black sheep. You.You weren't writing anything at all. You had closed your eyes and were rubbing your temples.

He had been noticing you for a while.You hadn't written a single thing since Remus handed the students their papers. If you continued to do that ,he would be forced to lower your grade. You were his best student and he didn't want you to fail. But he couldn't show any favoritism by giving you the answers either.

At the end of the class ,when the clock ticked,he had kicked five students out of his class for trying to cheat.

"Alright everyone,quills down. Leave your paper on your desk and you're free to leave."The students left quietly and as he stared gathering the papers one by one, skimming their answers, he felt a bit disappointed. When he arrived at Percy's desk he smiled. Give it to him to have all the answers correct. He couldn't judge just yet tho.He kept collecting the papers and then he froze. You were still here...the only problem was that you were sleeping. You had put your head down on your forearms and your breathing was so light he hadn't even noticed your presence.He rubbed his eyes and pitched the bridge of his nose.

He was sure that you had failed. And when he carefully grabbed hold of your paper he confirmed that theory. The only writing you had done on this exam was only your own name. Remus was staring at your small frame as he bit the inside of his cheek. You had been up all night,he knew. He had smelled you and the Weasley twins the other night when he came across Filch.You had done something he wasn't aware of yet.Knowing that you had no other classes he let you rest there for a bit more as he covered you with his cardigan and made his way to his desk, to start grading the exams.

<•>

You could only see darkness. Your body was hurting but yet for some reason you felt warm and comfortable. You were slowly remembering fragments of last night.The prank. Right. You had done that. Then after that? You couldn't remember. Then an important info came to your mind and you jolted awake.

"Fuck! The exam! I'm late!" You stood up only to feel a sharp pain behind your head,you had slammed it against the wall.You rubbed the back of your head and slowly opened your eyes.Hold up. This wasn't your room.Desks , chairs...

"Good afternoon." You got startled when you heard the familiar voice. Were you dreaming?

"A-afternoon?" You questioned.You moved your eyes to the place where the voice came from.You noticed professor Lupin. Why was he here? No. Why were you here?!

"Yes. Afternoon." He motioned for you to approach him with his middle and idex fingers. You were feeling a bit confused. You stood up and wrapped your jacket around your body to make yourself feel warmer. Your nose twitched. Why did it smell like the man who was waiting for you. You moved your eyes to your body and your breath caught. It was his cardigan! What the hell was going on?

"What's going on?" You asked as you approached him.

"You tell me." He said as he cocked an eyebrow.

"Wait... Afternoon...the exam!"He leaned back on his chair, legs spread and you gulped. When you took a good look at him your abdomen clenched. He had unbuttned two of the buttons of his shirt and had folded his sleeves. His hair was messy and the look he was giving you ...

"You fell asleep." He said as he tapped his hand on his thigh,eyes on you."And I'm not supposed to say anything now ,given that you're supposed to take your results in two weeks...but you failed Y/N. I'm quite disappointed in you."

It fell on you like a fucking bomb and it fucking sting. Bad. You felt like your throat got crushed. Your heart was beating fast.You bit your lip. You knew that your focus should have been on the fact that you have failed yet for some reason what hurt more was his last sentence.I'm quite disappointed in you.You didn't know what to say. You had no excuse to give to him. You cussed yourself internally. You fell asleep!You failed!

"Professor -" you were barely able to form that word." Can I retake-"

"No." He said firmly." I'm sorry Y/N. I said it two weeks ago that I won't have any redoes.Even you are not an exception."

You were biting your lip so hard it felt like you would draw blood. Fuck the Weasley twins and their fucking bright idea of pranking. All those hours you had put into studying...

"The exam covers forty percent of our grade right?" You gulped nervously.

"Yes." He nodded.

"And there's no redoes?"

"I'm afraid not." He titled his head to his right as he stared at you.

"Fuck." You muttered.

"Language." He warned as he stood up and rounded his desk.

"What can I do to make up for the exam? I need the grade..."

The fact that you were a werewolf wasn't enough apparently. You were going to fail. You hoped to get a job ,even with your condition,by having good grades ,but you couldn't even do that anymore... could you?

"What are you willing to do for it?" He was standing in front of you now ,hands on his pockets as he stared down at you. The tone he had used when he had said that...Merlin.What did he have in mind?

"Anything." You said as you met his eyes. Then you felt your body getting warmer, muscles tingling.What the hell was wrong with you?! Anything was quite suggestive...and anything meant anything!

"Anything huh?" He smirked as he took a step further, closing the distance between the two of you."And would you be so kind and tell me what do you mean by that?"

"Exactly what I said professor." You stared at him, trying to keep your cool. You were forming a hundred scenarios to how this would end up.Would he probably be one of those professors who would bend you over his desk , fuck you senseless and then improve your grade?

"I'm afraid it doesn't work like that , darling."Your breath caught. The pet name!He had never called you that.You could hear your heartbeat on your ears.

"There's gotta be a way." Your voice was pleading.

"Oh but there isn't. " He put his hand on your face, thumb resting on your cheekbone while the rest of his fingers rested on your jawline.Your chest tightened as he made you stare at him. "You failed. That's it. Study harder next time and be careful with what you do during your late hours."

Now what the hell did that even mean? Come on... there's no way he knows about you and twins ... right?

"What's that supposed to mean professor?"

"Take it however you want it." He was tracing your jawline with his middle finger moving the letter back and forth. You felt tears forming on your eyes. You hated this. Hated the failure, hated the disappointment. Tears started rolling down your cheeks before you could stop them."Shshsh."He paced his other hand on your cheek and used his thumbs to wipe the tears."It's going to be okay. The patronus charm will cover most of your grade.You're close to perfecting it ,have no worries."

"But that's still not good enough." Your voice trembled.

"There's nothing I can do. You know that."

"Aren't I supposed to be your favourite student?" He smiled softly at that.

"That you are. But I don't think even you would like it if I gave you a good grade only because of that , would you?"

"No." You sniffed.

"That's my girl." He patted both your cheeks with his palms. His girl.His.Jeusus , you loved this man.Probably the feeling will never be reciprocated but this was enough for you.His comforting words ,his comforting touch,hus comforting presence.Before you knew yourself, you wrapped your arms around his torso and hugged him tightly.

"Scoldings later." You sniffed again when you realised that he was about to say something.He was taken back by your gesture at first but then he sighed heavily before wrapping one of his arms around your waist and placed his hand on the back your head.

"Will taking ten points be enough as a proper scolding?" He teased and you chuckled. "I bet professor Snape would have taken fifty ,so I think I'm being gentle." He pulled back from you and placed a hand on your shoulder.

"Professor I-" suddenly a knocking sound was heard you both moved your attention to the door. The professor lowered his hand from your shoulder and then flicked his wrist to see the time.

"I'm sorry."He said , looking genuinely sorry."Let's continue this another time , okay?"You nodded. He walked to the door and you made your way to your desk , slowly gathering your stuff . Then your attention got caught by a familiar voice and your stomach clenched.

"Oh. Hey there Y/N!"

"Jen." You nodded weakly at her.

"What are you doing here?" She asked as she walked closer to you.

"Y/N was just asking questions about her exam." Interfered the professor."She's about to leave now."

"Quite the sleep you did today Y/N"Jen started laughing. And you felt the sudden urge to beat some sense into her." I swear, we tried to wake you up a few times but you weren't even moving. Thought you died for a moment."

"I'm alive." You forced a smiled as you grabbed hold of your bag.

"Jennifer,come here now. I have appointment with another student after you. Let's not waste time." Said the professor as he took his seat... right...jen took extra lessons.

"Coming professor." She smiled at him then turned her attention on you."Literally." She winked and then made her way to his desk.You were feeling nauseous. You didn't want to leave her with him alone. What if she initiated something..." See you around Y/N."She waved at you and took her seat.

"See you." You waved back."Bitch."You muttered under your breath and made your way to the door.

"Oh and Y/N." Said the professor making you move your eyes in his direction again." I forgot to mention but tomorrow I will be expecting you in my office. Something related to your late night walks... " He let the words linger on the air and then it hit you.He knows.He knows what you did and given that it is evening everyone must have seen the flood and the message. He somehow knows it was you. He smirked as he spoke."Have a good day."

"You too ,professor."

Part 9:

[rebelelegance]

My Person

A/N: Burst of motivation so used it for this rather than studying for my next test 'cause, why not? @lokisgoodgirl thank you so much for the ideas!! Kinda mixed 2 of them together here.

w/c: 1945

Summary: Loki decides to celebrate Valentine's a little early in view of you working hard for your exams.

Warnings: None, just pure fluff

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Loki didn’t like seeing you stressed. However, your college didn’t seem to be on board with that plan, and it infuriated him. You’d been slogging off for 3 days, your sleep schedule, your food schedule and everything else being thrown out the window just because your college thought asking you a bunch of questions about the hardest subject Loki had ever heard of would be a good way to test your intelligence.

If only they knew how good you were at snowball fighting. He’d like to see them find some better at figuring out an angle to blindside the Hawkeye. 

However you’d told him it was important nonetheless and as much he disliked it, decided to at least support you in whatever way he could until the day of the exam. Which was today.

He lost count of how many times he checked the time, 2pm just couldn’t seem to come any quicker. And it was only 11.15. He groaned, sliding lower in his position on the couch. He didn’t know why he was so anxious, and yet he couldn’t stop his leg from bouncing up and down, pausing temporarily when his phone buzzed, resuming at a faster pace when he realized who it was.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The blonde God who is unfortunately my brother

Brother! I am going to the store called Target 

to buy a Valentine’s Day gift for Jane. Would you 

like to accompany me?

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Loki sighed, he’d heard you gushing about Valentine’s Day to Natasha, although he couldn’t figure out what you’d planned for him, just that he was going to love it. He didn’t doubt that, a day full of cuddles in itself would be more than enough for him. However, he did want to get you something special, so begrudgingly he replied.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Alright, but you stay 5 feet away from me. I’m not

in the mood for your cheeriness.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

He got up, grabbing a coat and the house keys as he stormed out of the house, with the realization that he knew nothing about what to get someone for Valentine’s day.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Thor had decided on a box of chocolates, a rose and a card for Jane, however Loki couldn’t find something worthy of you. He’d gone through an entire aisle of cards nearly ripping three of them after reading the cheesy lines written in fine print. Only one had seemed interesting, something about sending something sexy for valentine’s day but not being able to fit into the post box. But, after some consideration, he found it rather silly. He’d also managed to nearly ruin a card with a pull-out message on it. He’d pulled it too hard, almost pulling the heart right out of the fold, rather than unfolding it. Thor had stood there, laughing nearly the entire time, telling every person who passed that it was his brother’s first time Valentine’s shopping, earning amused chuckles from them and glares and threats from Loki himself. 

He huffed, throwing his hands up in the air. “This is an absolute waste of time,” he nearly yelled, turning to Thor. He pointed an accusing finger, “You put me up to this, you-you love watching me fail at this don’t you- you filthy little excuse of a-”

“Loki! We’re in public, save your insults for the car,” Thor stopped him, gently pushing Loki’s hand away. He fumed, but stayed silent, closing his eyes in defeat. “I have an idea,” Thor started. Loki opened one eye, tilting his head to the side. “What does Y/N mean to you?”

Loki straightened, opening his mouth to bite back - “For once take me seriously,” Thor said, shifting his bag of goods from one hand to the other. 

Loki sighed. “She’s special Thor. She just- there’s something about her. I can’t explain it. She knows exactly what to say when. She’s smart, funny, and talented. I can’t- I can’t just give her chocolates or some printed card, it’s-it’s not enough.” 

Thor smiled, “Then don’t brother, give her something personal. What would she like?”

Loki froze in thought. Personal. What was that phrase you always used? My person. You’re my person. If only he could materialize that. He placed his hands on his hips, and started pacing. Personal. Personal. My person. Us. He froze, spinning back to Thor. “I’ve got it!”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When you got home, you expected Loki would be all over you. You hadn’t texted him after the exam, and deliberately told him a time 2 hours later than the actual end of your test, just so that you could add a few final touches to the Valentine’s Day present you’d got him. It was tomorrow, which meant you were a bit late, but with your exam schedule, it’d been hard to get anything else done at all. However when you walked into the dining room, you froze, nearly dropping your bags.

Loki was standing there in jeans and a black shirt, with that emerald blazer you’d given him on New Year’s partly buttoned, a huge grin on his face. The table was covered in rose petals and little colored pieces of paper, with a box sitting in the center. 

You placed your bags down, immediately running over and engulfing him in a big hug. Loki laughed as he caught you, twirling you around once, before setting you down gently and bending over for a kiss.

“How was your exam darling?” He asked once he pulled away, his arms still around your waist. You smiled, “It went well,” you pulled yourself closer to him, your arms tightening around his waist. You kissed his shoulder, “Thanks for all your help,” you whispered. 

Loki kissed your forehead, rubbing your back gently. “Don’t thank me love, you deserve all that and much more.” You both pulled away, your eyes filled with nothing but admiration for your boyfriend. You turned, one hand still around his torso, as you used the other to gesture to the display in front of you.

“So,” You said.

“So,” he responded. You looked up at him. “What is all this?” you laughed. He smiled, “You can choose darling. An early Valentine’s Day present, or a reward for working so hard for your test,”

“But I only just told you that I did well,” you said, confused.

“Whether you did well or not is secondary,” he replied, “you did your absolute best, and a reward is in order.” 

You couldn’t help the huge grin that split across your face. “So how do I go about this?” you asked, stepping up to the table. “Read the notes first. Then open the box,” Loki replied. You suddenly turned back to him. “You’re not proposing are you? I mean- not that I would mind, I- I’d love it. But I mean, I still haven’t graduated and I- I just thought-” Loki placed his hands on your shoulders, silencing you. “I know love, it’s not. Don’t worry,”. You nodded, hoping he didn’t feel bad. You knew you loved him enough to marry him, but you wanted to graduate first. You were glad he understood.

You turned back around reaching for the first note. It was written in his handwriting, delicate cursive filling the small colored square.

I’m so grateful for the fact that Tony basically raised you. Otherwise, I doubt you would have forced me to confess my feelings for you.

You laughed, reaching for the next one,

Your smile is brighter than the Bifrost. And that, as you say, is saying something.

You grinned, picking up a pink one next,

I’ve never said it, but your hugs are my safe space. The world’s cruelty disappears when your arms are sound mine.

At this point your eyes were starting to water as you picked up the next 3 at once.

I do think at this point you are the one thing I could not live without. You make life worth living, for someone who has gone through and done as much as I have.

I know you don’t like me seeing you dance, but I will confess, that I have seen it once, when you thought I wasn’t home yet and you were blasting your favorite ‘Sucker’ by the Jonas Brothers and dancing around the kitchen.

One more thing I never say enough: You Are My Person

Tears were now streaming down your face, and Loki wrapped his hand around your waist from behind, wiping your tears away with the other.

He kissed your hair, “I love you,” he said. You turned around, pulling him down for a long kiss.

“I love you too,” you whispered, pulling away. 

“Open the box please,” he requested, pushing a stray strand of hair behind your ear. You pulled away, walking back to the table as you gently picked up the small box. You opened it carefully, gasping immediately once you saw what was inside.

A golden colored necklace sat inside with a beautiful heart outlined with stones as the pendant. Inside the heart was your initial, a little plus sign and then an L. You turned around to Loki, holding it out. He carefully pulled the necklace out, and you turned back around. You pulled your hair out of the way, as he gently fastened the necklace around your neck, kissing your shoulder afterwards. 

“I love it,” you grin, placing the box on the table. “I’m glad darling,” Loki replied, a smile on his face. “My turn,” you walk over to your bags, going through them as you pick out a box. You hand it to your boyfriend, “Happy Valentine’s Day love.”

Loki carefully opened the box, lips curving into a huge grin as he saw what was inside. You’d gotten him a thin gold bracelet, with a small rectangular piece in the center reading: My person.

You gently turned the bracelet over, the underside had your nickname etched into it.  

Loki looked back up at you, “Put it on for me?” You nodded, carefully pulling it out and clasping it around his wrist.

He then promptly wrapped his arms around you again.

It took you forever to decide what you wanted to get him. When you were on your way home from college one day, you passed a store that was selling personalized jewelry and you couldn’t help but think it was perfect.

Loki pulled away slightly, “I have to admit though, Thor did help me a bit with the decision, not what to buy of course, but more of how to decide what to buy. That doesn’t make sense does it?”

You laughed, shaking your head, “I think I got it. But, you know what that means,” you said, pulling away. “Uh- no, no I don’t,” He responded, concern lacing his voice as you started carrying your bags up the stairs.

You turned back around, pausing, “You have to say thank you,” you smirked, then continued up the stairs.

Loki ran after you “No. Not in the name of the nine realms, no way,” he protested, as you packed everything away. “Yes,” you said your arms on your hips.

“No.”

“Yes, you will.”

“No, I will absolutely not.”

“Fine then, no cuddles for 2 days. And that’s really saddening you know, considering I have a day off tomorrow,”

Loki gaped at you, both of you knowing full well that you’d cornered him. “I-You- You wouldn’t,” he said pointing at you. 

You shrugged, the smirk still on your face. “I just did.”

He groaned, “Fine, fine, I’ll apologize tomorrow.”

You nodded, jumping on to the bed with the TV remote. “That works.”

“So can I get cuddles today then?” he asked, cautiously approaching the bed.

You laughed, “Get over here ya big cuddle bug.”

A/N: This was soo fun to writee. Hope y'all like it!!

[lovetaroandtaemin]

All I Wanted

Chapter 2: Are You Satisfied?

Osaki Shotaro x Reader

Word count: 872

Content warnings: None for this chapter

Thank you again to @wonbons for beta reading! Your feedback has been a huge help and I'm incredibly grateful.

Fic is under the cut

Shotaro was more nervous than usual for his first statistics test of the year. He had a good enough grasp on the material, but there were a few things he was shaky on. He did spend a lot of time studying, but he just didn’t understand certain concepts. He knew that he had to focus today though because he couldn’t let his grades suffer. If he did, he would never hear the end of it from his dad.

You, on the other hand, were filled with confidence. You refused to let anything get in the way of passing. Studying was your entire life for a week before the quiz. You didn’t talk to anyone for the first few days, which resulted in several angry voicemails from Karina because she hadn’t heard from you. You apologized for ignoring her and made sure to talk to people while still studying as much as you could. Your degree was far too important to you to fail.

As you were making your way to class, you saw Wonbin. He smiled and winked at you, and you gave him a small smile in response. He continued walking as you silently prayed that you wouldn’t fail.

You walked into class and smiled as you saw Shotaro. He was wearing his bright purple beanie, which you had learned meant that he had overslept and hadn’t had time to brush his hair. Initially he looked upset, but as soon as he noticed you his expression changed to that signature smile that made you feel all giddy inside. You took your seat next to him and started to discuss the upcoming quiz.

“How do you think you’re gonna do?” he asked.

“I know I’m gonna pass,” you replied, “I was up until 3 AM studying last night.”

“I wish I had your confidence, (Y/N).”

“I’m sure you’ll do great, ‘Taro. You’re smarter than you give yourself credit for. Plus, I know how much you’ve been studying.”

“Thanks, (Y/N),” he mumbled, with a barely noticeable blush starting to appear on his face.

Your conversation was cut short by Ms. Kim passing out your tests. You once again silently prayed to whoever would listen that you would pass and began to work as soon as you received your test. As you answered the questions, you couldn’t help but wonder how Shotaro was doing. He had looked upset when you walked into class, but you hadn’t been able to ask him why before the test started. You made a mental note to ask him about it after class.

The second the test was placed on his desk, Shotaro started answering questions to the best of his ability. He wasn’t confident in all his answers, but that didn’t stop him from giving everything he had. Once he finished answering the questions and handed in his exam, he spent the rest of the class period doodling in his notebook. The drawings of animals and flowers may have looked like something silly to pass the time to someone that saw them in passing, but for Shotaro art was his escape. And with stress from school and his dad’s daily lectures about not wasting his potential, he needed it.

After everyone finished their tests, class was dismissed. You tried to follow Shotaro to ask him why he seemed upset earlier, but he ran out the door before you could catch up to him. So, you sent him a text instead, letting him know that if he needed to talk about anything you were there for him.

The rest of your morning classes were a blur, with papers being assigned and more tests being taken. You had been rushing to get things done all morning, so you decided to go to the library to take a break in a quiet environment before you had to continue your studies.

The last person you expected to see as you entered was Wonbin. You knew that it was rude to assume from the limited interactions you had with him, but he didn’t really seem like the type to spend free time at the library.

“Hey, Wonbin. How are you?”

“I’m doing ok, I just wanted a quiet place to study. What’s up with you?”

“I wanted to take a breath before my next class, tests all morning.”

“Yikes. By the way, next time you see Karina would you give this back to her? She left it at my place last night,” he said as he handed you her makeup bag.

“Will do, thanks.”

The two of you chatted for a few more minutes before you left to continue your day.

The next day at the end of class, Ms. Kim gave everyone their tests back. You looked at yours, and you saw that your score was 93. Excited that you passed, you showed Shotaro. He seemed a little bit less excited, however, as he wordlessly showed his paper. It had 86 written at the top in bright red ink. Even though he was a little upset, he jokingly promised to kick your ass when it was time for the next test. You laughed and said you wished that he would.

“Well I guess I have to, now,” he said with a wink.

Thanks for reading!! Sorry about the lack of update last week, Preparing for Easter was a bit chaotic. I promise chapter 3 will be out next week. Stay tuned!

If you'd like to be added to the taglist, either comment or dm me with the username that you'd like tagged. Once again, thanks to @wonbons for beta reading!

[akinoor-studiesmed]

JOURNAL ENTRY - JULY 11, 2024

I feel restless. Burnt out and tired. I feel unbelievably tired, scattered and disorganised.

I have an exam tomorrow and I don't really care. It shows too— because I haven't even covered thirty percent of my syllabus.

I don't have any excuses other than that even though I wanted to, my body wouldn't move. And it wasn't as if I was not trying— except for that my brain wouldn't focus and I kept getting sleepy.

The past few exams, I had been able to study because I put a show in the background. Thats the only way I could make myself study and I couldn't today so there is that.

I'm going to fail tomorrow's exam.

I have been having severe problems with planning just about anything. Even the smallest of the things.

I think it's the stress of it all that's made it worse. I was never as efficiently organised as the others are but I managed but with stress in the pickle— my mind isn't able to plan or stick to a plan. Or form one.

I was absolutely bored out of my mind so I couldn't study at all even if I wanted to, even if I was trying to.

The problem is— I don't even know what questions to ask myself to form a plan? Or a blueprint? Where to start? How much time to give to something— because time blindness.

There is so much going on.

And urgency makes it better in a way when it shouldn't— I can concentrate better when there is the end moment emergency and urgency. Other than at all other times when my brain feels muddled, disorganised, confused, bored and distracted— slow.

It was okay before because I used to have two roommates and I would naturally body double but now I live alone and it's difficult.

I genuinely believe I have ADHD but no diagnosis to give a proof for it. No means to get one and it's ruining my life. It's ruining my life and everyone just thinks I'm making excuses, don't want to work hard and am lazy with no purpose in life— who just runs away from things and problems. At least that's what I was told all the time before I went and let myself get into med school out of spite. I was angry of how everyone looked down upon me all the time. The disrespect of it all made me unbelievably angry. So I got into med school out of spite and also because it was my dream I failed at but spite drove me more than anything else.

When they had asked us—

"why do you wish to become a doctor? "

My answer was —

" there was nothing about this place I could forgive."

Give me strength to be able to handle this all.

I've forgotten how I did it back then. When I had spite.

[athetos]

I honestly have no fucking idea how I went to college for 4 straight years full time without dropping out. Undiagnosed narcolepsy and adhd, unmedicated, I spent multiple semesters not even on antidepressants, or worse, on ones that made me violently ill, had a month-long bout of a stomach disorder I didn’t even know I inherited from my dad, spent half that amount of time in an abusive relationship, plus a ton more of vastly complex and out of control interpersonal drama, like I barely survived at all tbh but I somehow managed to get a degree? And 3 fucking minors? By the time I was 22? I barely attended some of my classes, people were so used to me falling asleep in the hallways that they’d just step over me and put my coat on me like a blanket, I only passed a couple of classes because I cheated on exams and broke down in the professor’s office and they pitied me, but I fucking did it?

Like, if I went back and time and did it all over again, only this time properly medicated and with a real support group, I would probably have a fucking 4.0, be in 5 clubs, did that crazy double major I joked about, and my life would be so unrecognizable. I’d be in a PhD program right now at some prestigious university and… okay, let’s be real, I probably wouldn’t be making more money than I am right now because I’ve seen what they fucking pay grad students, but that’s just insane to me, how differently my life could have turned out. Or maybe it wouldn’t be different. Maybe it would be the same, or maybe it would even be worse. Like, I’m dating a milf who’s 9 inches taller than me, so maybe this is the best timeline.

Yet, it’s kind of… both funny and depressing to know how fucked I get right now if I don’t have my meds, even if I’m not in a depressive episode. I can barely function without them. I’m asleep more than I am awake, I can’t focus, I have no energy, and if I go more than just a few days without my antidepressants I have full-on mental breakdowns and am borderline-suicidal. So, this of course means 1 of 2 things must be true. Either I wasn’t this fucked up in college, and my disorders must have worsened over time, or I was this fucked up and still forced myself through a degree. The second is probably the most likely, to be honest. And you might be thinking, “Ash, can’t you just remember and compare your symptoms?” You have to understand that I was so unbelievably stressed at some points that huge chunks of time spanning weeks is permanently locked away in my Repressed Memory Vault, and I was also a victim of gaslighting from someone who very much wanted me to believe I was crazy, but also was incredibly adamant I did not receive help (hence partially why I was undiagnosed and unmedicated). My memories aren’t really all that reliable, and the other thing is, I thought the narcolepsy part of it was normal. Or, well, that I was just lazy. I didn’t know what narcolepsy was beyond dramatizations in tv shows. I didn’t see my symptoms as symptoms, and therefore, I didn’t really keep track of them, if that makes sense.

All this to say, I think wishing my life turned out differently isn’t healthy and leads nowhere. I still ruminate on it from time to time, but it’s less from a depressive angle and more because I’m angry as hell that a lot of people failed me in my life during that time period. I should have been diagnosed and medicated, god knows I’ve seen enough therapists and doctors. I should have had a friend that would have helped me get the fuck out of that relationship sooner. I should have had more people supporting me and taking me seriously. But things turned out this way, and I gotta make my peace with that. I might be in a “better” place if things went differently from a certain viewpoint, at least career-wise, but it could be worse in other ways I’d never know. I need to put my energy into making sure the life I’m actually living is the best possible one for me. That’s all that matters.

[yoonieper]

Update 🥴

Soooo yall I know promised the holiday fics but either a) they’re just going to be put out later or b) we might need to wait till next year… end of the semester was crazyyyy for me honestly. Thanksgiving break I did a bit of traveling, when I got back I had 3 papers and 3 exams to get done all in about 2 weeks— I’m done luckily, we’re through all the stress but now I’m on vacation and won’t be back home till Christmas so… 😬

The chances of me getting things done while I’m here is pretty slim, we’re pretty booked so I really won’t have too much time to write unfortunately… I might be able to do the Tae one I had planned because that one is short and even though it’ll be a little late, I might be able to get it out and done! I had started Jimin and Jk’s fics but they’re a bit longer and def won’t get it done before Christmas butttt maybe a delayed January post… maybe? I won’t make any promises because I’ve been so stressed basically since November and I don’t want to overdo it before the next semester starts and I have work all over again. I’ll write what I can but again like I promised things are planned and nearly ready for next year if all else fails. Pecattiphilia will be returning soon, my first part of my Jk series will certainly be posted sometime next year, working on the last two parts before I am ready to post— plus I’ll finally get back to all those unfinished oneshots I have sitting in my drafts still. 2024 I’ll be back hopefully more than ever!

Also been really sad since Tae, Joon, Jk, and Jimin all left— been an army since 2017 and I’m so used to having them in my life. Flip flopping between 2025 will be here before we know it and just dread cause it’s only been a few days and I’m this close to loosing it. It’s actually crazy, even though I didn’t start posting on tumblr till 2020 I think I’ve been working on BTS fics since the year I became a fan. That work is on wattpad and if you ever want a good laugh you can check out ‘If…’ major cringe but also a bit of a tease for my major project *hint hint cause I feel bad* A better version of it will be out hopefully soon here on tumblr! Anyway, that was to say that BTS have seriously been a major part of my life and I feel lost knowing that we have to move the next 18 months without them, many of yall probably feel the same way. I will do my best next year along with Seokjin and Hobi at filling the void a little until our ot7 returns better than ever. Miss my babies lots and ughhhh can’t wait for 2025!

tl;dr

Traveling, exams, papers kept me busy and couldn’t work on holiday fics— might be published later in January but no promises,,, working on stuff to post next year,,, missing bts like crazy, bring my babies home :’)