#and i KNOW what dementia is i KNOW that thats part of it and it isnt her fault at all

[scattered-winter]

last grief vent post lads

[savethepinecones]

sooo glad im moving next month

[ckret2]

One of my favourite things about the book of Bill has to be how hard it has cemented that, for all the airs Bill likes to put on, he's actually awful at manipulating people. Like if you look at the just the show, on the surface his record isn't bad. 2 1/2 successful manipulations out of 3 shown on-screen is solid. ((That is until you examine it further and realize that the 2 successful ones were done to 12 year old children who 1. Weren't exactly in the best states of mind at the time due to severe sleep deprivation/a difficult emotional state and 2. he still had to trick via his power (the fake timer on the laptop/possessing blendin so Mabel didn't know it was him)) But now? Oh man! Ford wasn't just lucky, he joined a tradition dating back all the way to humanities beginnings! Bill has been trying to get people to do his bidding literally since people had gotten good enough at resource-gathering and tool-usage to be able to potentially build his portal! And he failed over and over and over again and he never learned shit! That would be bad enough but not only did he fail at manipulating several civilzations worth of people, they ALSO constantly thwarted him in ways beyond that! He got himself banished, trapped, and annoyed to hell and back and thats just the stuff he told us! Thats not even speaking of his latest and possibly greatest fumble, failing the convince us, the reader of the Book of Bill who is canonically a fan of Bill or at least Gravity Falls into striking a deal with him. In short, if I asked Bill to manipulate a child into eating ice cream with just his words I wouldn't trust him to get it done within my or the kids life time.

Except, Bill IS good at manipulating people. You JUST DESCRIBED several examples of him being good at manipulating people.

Identifying the most vulnerable targets, the "weakest link" most likely to cave and do what you want—like children (or elderly people with dementia, or immigrants who don't understand the language well)—is part of being good at manipulation.

Identifying and taking advantage of people in a compromised mental state when they're not thinking clearly and are more likely to do what you want is part of being good at manipulation. (He didn't try to persuade Mabel to destroy the laptop, BECAUSE HE KNEW DIPPER WAS MORE VULNERABLE. He didn't approach Dipper or Ford dressed as Blendin—BECAUSE HE KNEW MABEL WAS MORE VULNERABLE.)

Just straight up lying to people—about a situation (the timer), about a person (Blendin)—is a manipulation tactic.

Fabricating a totally artificial emergency and pressuring a target to ACT NOW to prevent disaster is a common con artist trick. (See: scammers who cold call strangers, say they're from the IRS and the stranger is behind on taxes, and demand they transfer a large amount of money from their bank RIGHT NOW or go to jail—WHICH ACTUALLY WORKS A LOT, especially because people CAN'T THINK AS CLEARLY when they're panicking.)

Disguising yourself as somebody trustworthy or somebody intimidating to trick a target into obeying you is also a common con artist trick.

Not to mention ALL the work we see into how he manipulates Ford: he makes note of Ford's social isolation and how Bill can use that to his advantage; he identifies the thing Ford wants most (respect & acknowledgment for his intellectual achievements) and weaves that into his manipulation; he uses both Ford's ego AND Ford's insecurity against him; he almost effortlessly turns Ford against the one friend who adores him, making Ford think his friend's kindest attempts to help are evidence of backstabbing; and even though ultimately it didn't work, you can't say that threatening to destroy Ford's life from inside his own body was a BAD manipulation tactic.

Plus the entire muse schtick. Fooling people into thinking you're doing something magical or supernatural is such a common manipulation tactic that there's a whole name for it: "mystical manipulation." Bill does this NON STOP with Ford, and with many of his other victims.

We see him successfully talk an entire tribe into helping him build a working redwood portal—and they only turned against him when the portal started petrifying people, unleashing monsters, and creating bottomless pits. He talked the Aztecs into sacrificing 9,000 people to build a portal that didn't even work. He talked not-Disney into making a cartoon about Bill that included UNLEASHING LIVE BEES IN THE THEATER. Who the hell would think that's a good idea!

And to top it all off, he formed multiple successful cults that were ride or die for him until the bitter end. That's like the crown jewel of being good at manipulating. Bill talked a whole town into joining his cult in under a month in spite of the fact that he kept calling them plasma bags and chugging formaldehyde. Based on the dates in the document about Silas Birchtree, people were marrying into Ciphertology at least five years after Bill's puppet disintegrated and he ditched them.

Bill was good at manipulating people!

Do you know what Bill WASN'T good at? Getting people to finish and open a portal.

Largely because portals are difficult to make, and because he can only get so far into the process before it becomes obvious that this thing will destroy the world and that's usually enough to override any other threats or promises he makes.

Yeah, he says some stupid things that should obviously give him away—like talking about setting off all the nukes. He's kinda pathetic and a bit of a dumbass sometimes. But, here's the thing about successful manipulators, con artists, and cult leaders: MOST of them are kinda pathetic dumbasses. Cult leaders are idiots. There's a cult leader who preached his followers should be on minimal vegetarian diets, had his chauffeur take him out to a big fancy steak dinner, then told his chauffeur he did that to test his faith—and the chauffeur was like well okay. Cult leaders are idiots, AND YET SUCCEED. When Bill says you can get anyone to hum along with your tune if you've got charisma? He's right—that's true in real life.

Manipulators get away with manipulation not because they tell such brilliant impeccable lies that the most clear-headed rational person in the world would believe them... but because they know to tell their lies to people who aren't clear-headed and rational, and because they know using cheap tricks and false identities and lies that the victim WANTS to be true works better than a flawless story, and because they know most people tend to give other people the benefit of the doubt that what they're saying is probably true.

So yeah, he's too cocky, he's a bit pathetic, he lost a lot, he loses at the end of the book... but that doesn't mean he's a bad manipulator. It means that being good at manipulating can only carry you so far, and Bill didn't have what it takes to carry him the rest of the way.

[ghoulish-art-tendencies]

Hi! Do you want to rant about space dementia? I always like learning about new songs and their meanings :)

Bye <3

I DO.!!1! Okay so let’s strap in bc this might be a little long. Sorry!!!

First i’ll put the put the song for reference

Okay to understand this analysis, you have to understand what “space dementia” actually is. Space dementia is a type of (fake) sickness that some astronauts will get, that makes them feel lonely/depressed, and that they or anything else doesn’t matter anymore. Basically because they’re in a giant space of literal nothing, it makes them feel so insignificant and also feel like just another nothing floating along in it.

Now, there is 2 separate analyses for this which might make this really long so..sorry. One looks at it through the more direct lense of space dementia, while the other is how Space Dementia can parallel the feelings of a toxic relationship. You can skip one or the other if you want and i’ll label them.

Also throughout this I will be saying him when referring to the person singing due to the person singing Matt Bellamy and I can differentiate what I am talking about.

SPACE DEMENTIA THROUGH A DIRECT LENSE:

“H8 is the one for me

It gives me all I need

And helps me coexist

With the chill, ooh”

Although this part is one of the few confusing bits to me, h8 is often used as hate in chat, which could be saying “hate helps me coexist with the chill” such as being cold and hateful yourself helps you coexist with the chill of space that makes you feel worthless.

“You make me sick

Because I adore you so

I love all the dirty tricks

And twisted games you play on me, ooh”

Okay starting off “you make me sick” is fairly obvious; space dementia is making him sick. “Because I adore you so” is interesting and i love this lyric. Obviously if you didnt love space you wouldnt go and be an astronaut and go into space in the first place. Its saying it exactly as it means: i love you so much that I came to see you for myself, even if im getting sick because of you. “i love all the dirty tricks / and the twisted games you play on me” is basically again saying he doesn’t care what space will do to him, he will still love it as it is.

“Space dementia in my eyes and

Peace will arise

And tear us apart

And make us meaningless again”

“space dementia in my eyes” is literally about how its consuming him and is inside him and how much its affecting him. “peace will arise / and tear us apart / and make us meaningless again” grouping these all together as they basically say the same thing. Saying that everything will eventually stop existing (either the sun consuming earth, black holes consuming space) and make them all meaningless again because everyone, everything will be forgotten, even himself (especially if hes stuck in space).

“You make us wanna die

I'd cut your name in my heart

We'll destroy this world for you

I know you want me to feel your pain, ooh”

“you make us want to die” again, makes the guy want to die bc of how depressed and meaningless its making him feel. “Id cut your name in my heart” he would do anything for space because he loves it so much. Carving your name into my heart is often seen as a metaphorical act of love. “we’ll destory this world for you” not entirely sure on this, but could just be a reaffirmation of literally doing anything. “i know you want me to feel your pain” space is the one inflicting this sickness onto him, making him feel lonely and empty just like space is.

After that is just repeating lyrics but thats Part 1.

-

SPACE DEMENTIA REPRESENTING A TOXIC RELATIONSHIP:

now, this is my favourite/most thought out interpretation, but there are so many different interpretations that follow a similar path of toxic relationship, so that’s what I will explain. If anyone else has thoughts please share though! <3

“H8 is the one for me

It gives me all I need

And helps me coexist

With the chill, ooh”

Hate is the one for me and the rest of this could be like how it helps him coexist in this world even though its not healthy. It could be like he is used to love being hateful possibly from trauma as a kid.

“You make me sick

Because I adore you so

I love all the dirty tricks

And twisted games you play on me, ooh”

Now starting on the actual toxic relationship, I will be talking about space as a person and referring to them as so, so don’t be confused (using she/her for space as well so it doesn’t get more confusing). “you make me sick / Because I adore you so” he loves her so much, so sticking around even though its making him feel horrible about himself. “I love all the dirty tricks / and twisted games you play on me” he loves them all because he loves her so much, even though they’re dirty and twisted. He can’t see past his love for her.

“Space dementia in my eyes and

Peace will arise

And tear us apart

And make us meaningless again”

“space dementia in my dementia” could be referring to how hes blinded by love, and how eventually everything will tear/fall apart and make everything that they had meaningless.

“You make us wanna die

I'd cut your name in my heart

We'll destroy this world for you

I know you want me to feel your pain, ooh”

“you make us want to die” space is making him want to kill himself becuase of her toxic behaviour. “id cut your name into my heart / we’ll destroy this world for you” he would do anything for her basically. “I know you want me to feel your pain” shes making him suffer, possibly disguising it as how shes suffering.

TLDR: or Basically, if that made no sense, this guy is stuck in a toxic relationship and he is too blinded by his lover for him to leave, and shes constantly hurting him, but he sees it as love. He would do anything for her, as he feels like nothing matters except her.

Now for side notes on why else I love the song beside the lyrics. I LOVE Matt Bellamy’s voice in this song specifically. The high notes he manages to pull off are just beautiful. Not only that but the instrumental at the end after the lyrics come to an end just ascends my body every time. It truly feels like you’re floating in space and that everything feels BIG around you, and yet empty. The song feels and sounds so sorrowful too and I think the emotions come through so well through both the vocals and backing track. Something that stuck with me that someone told me was “it sounds like a 70s art studio in the middle of the night” and GOD yeah it really does. Everything about the song is perfect and I hope I never get tired of it from playing it on repeat too much.

thank you for coming to my ted talk on Space Dementia. Sam try not to write a whole essay for every ask about a special interest challenge (IMPOSSIBLE). Im so glad to have this out of my system though and it probably made no sense whatsoever as all my thoughts are usually incoherent written down or said aloud. ^_^ Thanks for the ask and permission to rant and have a great day <3

[mayzingly]

all the s2 ep3 parts ruined with yapping

!!SPOILERS, IF YOU HAVENT WATCHED ANY OF THEM GO WATCH THEM!!

I haven’t seen an episode be split up in parts since s1 ep10, so either Brittany decided to do it in parts instead of all at once because she knew we would complain about it literally being three months since the last one, or THEYRE COOKING

^^^^^^^^

so the episode starts with them walking on a path, which means im allowed to assume that Pyrare and Ajacenus went in the forest and then got ajavex from somewhere.

first thing I notice right off the bat is how enthusiastic they are about beating their sister up😭😭 like y’all are forgetting that whatever injuries ajaceare gets, ajacent has to deal with. they just don’t fade once she becomes uncorrupted, do they

that’s all I had to say about the first part, since it was surprisingly more boring than I remember

^^^^^^^^

this is my favorite out of the prevs.

the episode starts with ajaceare running like she just got 500$ from her mom and was told she could spend it on anything. dub then asks her how collecting pieces has been going. she pulls out a BIG ASS BAG. if im correct there are 20 artists featured in jsab minus the ones that already gave their pieces and some of them are one timers (avenza, pegboard nerds (iirc), plesco, silva hound, nanobii, TECHNICALLY omnitica, etc etc) so like where did she get all them pieces???

there are multiple theories about who those people could be, but I choose to believe theyre 2/5 out of Shirobon because

THATS A TAIL. AND YOU KNOW WHAT HAS A TAIL? A FOX. AND YOU KNOW WHATS A SONG BY SHIROBON IN JSAB? FOX!!! TOTES DIDNT RUN ON ONE HOUR OF SLEEP LAST NIGHT😃😃😃😃

also, I hope this is just a transition because OTHERWISE HOW DID SHE NOT NOTICE THEM.

one sentence to describe this episode: tri-py.

anyways, onto the next one. you better get your popcorn ready cause im about to RANT.

*cracks knuckles*

and OF COURSE SHES ON A TREE.

why is literally every monster either corrupted or a pacifist in tpc. like YALL GOT FIGHTING SKILLS, USE EM “don’t you know we monsters never attack shapes??” That’s only for YOU, your SAILOR MOON HAVING ASS HAIR LOOKING ELDER SISTER, and “SAILOR MOON”’S BITCHASS BARRACUDA HAVING FRIEND.

girl. im sorry but if I was a monster id be throwing these hands left and right.

“How could you have gotten corrupted like this?” gee idk, maybe a corrupted person touched her!??? Shocking wow “You’re supposed to stay in the mountains like the rest of us!!” bro shes 1000, im pretty sure shes able to not be huddled under u all the time.

“Now give me your pieces!!”

again, this makes

NO.

FUCKING.

SENSE!!!

IF SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT PYRARE, SHE WOULDVE SAID “Give me HIS pieces!” But instead shes saying “Your”.

I don’t know WHY the hell Ajacenus and ajavex would even have pieces, because it’s clear that they don’t have the triangle symbol like every other group member, but even if they did, IT WOULD BE INCOMPLETE BECAUSE AJACENUS IS SUPPOSED TO BE WICKED - AVENZA AND AJAVEX IS DEADLOCKED - F-777!!! SEE HOW ITS TWO DIFFERENT ARTISTS???

AND PLUS, EVEN IF SHE DID JUST MEAN PYRARE, HE WOULDNT HAVE A SINGLE PIECE BECAUSE THEY HAVENT GONE TO THE LAND OF TRIANGLES YET!!!

CAUSE I KNOW DAMN WELL SHE DIDNT FORGET TO ANIMATE THE HAIR DETAILS. I DONT GET WHY THEYRE LEFT OUT OF THIS, THEY COULDVE USED THE SHIELD FROM HER DRESS INSTEAD!!

PYRARE, MOVE!!! QUIT BEING LAZY!!! MOVE YOUR FACE!! DUMBAS-

AND THEN YOU HAVE THE NERVE TO CLAP. BRO.

BROOOO🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️

one sentence to describe this episode: BRITTANY COOKED BUT NOBODYS HUNGRY🔥🔥

last and definitely least, is the 4th part. now, the whole video was a bossfight so I don’t have much to say except SHE GOT PUFF PONYTAILS YAAAAAAAAA

I hope she isn’t batshit ugly or I might just remove s2 ep3 part 5 from my consciousness once it comes out

…yeah I had to remove it from my consciousness because WTH is this

“What happened to me?” Girl do you have the big D? (dementia)

HAHAHHH THE STUPID FACE HE MADE IN THE HALLOWEEN SHORT IS BACK, only thing I’m happy about. However…

“It isnt right for a male to hit a female” dude sybau. you throw hands all you want if you feel provoked. pussy.

anyways, onto dub. his section was the only entertaining part. Seeing him tweak like that genuinely made me go “😧” IRL

“Which caretaker is it!? I swear if it’s the anxious one…” made me BUST OUT laughing. Though I do wonder what he would’ve done if the flower lied to him and said it was “the anxious one” who I’m assuming is cube.

“So you decided to come out of retirement?” im curious about this, because… how does he even go into retirement in the first place?

though, I’m gonna talk about three things here.

1. I think (Altered) finally gives us an answer to what Circusic meant in episode 2. “The same way you are!” So we all saw him get revived by the reaper and turn into circubit, so when he says that I can only guess that Iris got revived that same way. You get revived, but with some perks, aka ALTERATIONS.

2. Every flower is infected? That means George is probably back.

3. Circusic is infected??? Either he doesn’t know that hes uncorrupted; or HES BAAAACK!!!!

[tired-demonspawn]

ok i wanna put this lil fiona and cake theory/vibe-i-got out there so in the extremely unlikely case it becomes real i can claim i called it and have receipts

(written as of prismo the wishmaster being the latest ep)

anyway

so what i assume will be the plot of the next few episodes is them goin thru universes, trying to find an ice king crown so simon can become a magical lunatic again

now what i propose is that they find some sort of AU crown and/or the fact that simon wont be fighting the effects this time makes it so basically the fruity-ass simon we see in the trailer-

(the fruity-ass simon in question)

-is what our favourite depressed husk of a man becomes

or at least something close to him/"the ice prince" since based on the background and overall vibe of the place in the shot that is most definitely either an AU simon theyll meet or hes a part of some dream sequence

now why am i proposing this?

short answer: i think it would be neat

long answer: we all know he's not going to just end up the same old ice king, not that that wouldnt also be an ending but yknow thats just depressing innit

(+i really dont think the entirety of his character so far was that much of a wet cat so we would feel happy he got magic dementia again)

what realistically is prbly going to happen is either:

what im proposin(aka altered ice king/prince),

he accepts himself and his life as is(aka wont become ice king at all),

or a secret 3rd thing that im too dumb(or i mean i have only seen 4 eps so far, anything could happen) to even conceptualise (maybe something to do with bettygolb? who knows really, shes a god of chaos now, it would be on brand)

of course what would also be neat and in my opinion could very much happen is that he does become some altered ass ice mf, but only temporarily and once back to human again he has like a new understanding and taste for life and therefore even if fionna and cakes dimension is still linked to his sorry dome it will become magical again cuz hes found the magic in himself or something like that

(in short a combo of my moot and the other option)

i dunno just a silly lil idea/feeling i had

do understand im proposing this only as a lil fun idea and a "well wouldnt that be neat" and as mentioned above if it turns out to be correct i will have receipts of calling it

feel free to expand upon it further tho! :)

[bobvelsebanswers]

"Did you know,that if you eat a human brain you get a disease similar to mad cow?"Yes yes I do know it's called Kuru.Its a prion disease like mad cow,chronic wasting disease,and .A prion is a misfolded protein that builds up in one's body over time(months to years and years),causing damage to the brain and spinal chord.Prion diseases can run in families or be picked up by consuming infected meat or bodily fluids.No matter what you do to try and disinfect the meat,the prions with persist as they are not bacteria,viruses,etc.Kuru is a type of prion disease picked up by consuming contaminated meat,so yes including the brain like you said in your bare bones fact.Kuru tends to be fatal within 6 months to a year.The symptoms tend to including walking problems,shaking or trembling,slurred speech,and mood swings.The presence of Dementia is little to none with Kuru,though it can happen with other prion diseases.The most prominent of these symptoms is the shaking and trembling,that symptom gave Kuru its name,as Kuru in the language spoken by the South Fore tribe in Papau New Guinea ,where it was observed.It was a cycle within the tribe before the cannibalistic practices were put to rest(though no one knows how it started) that Kuru spreads,as after a tribe member dies the tribe ritualistic ate the past persons corpse as a part of the funeral,causing the prions to spread starting the cycle over again,when the practices were still in use(Kuru has now dissappeared since the practices are no longer happening)Your fact was right just really bare bones.

(I'm sorry for my rambles about this I'm bored and I love talking about shit like this,and the Kuru stuff honestly fit Bob since he had thay fact about it.I hoped you learned something though)

Mod!: thats really cool actually

[imeverywoman420]

I remember my psych professor who was super famous for being funny and epic as a teacher and very interested and empathetic about students and all that stuff. Was so nice to me and cared about me but not in like a weird way lol he was just a Leo. I was going thru a lot of stuff during this part of my life and i would often have to step outside to cry during class bc i would get triggered abt my own mental health issues while studying psych.

I asked him outside of class one time (probably he thought i was asking him a hypothetical at first bc of how long the list of issues was and i talk monotone sometiems)” Can someone with all of *list of my diagnoses/problems/family history of dementia and mental illness/autism” ever be Normal.. He just kinda did that Wheeewwew face and was like “That is a LOT….” And laughed a little bit.

and i asked “so is there any hope for someone like that?” and he understood what i meant. He looked really concerned and kind of upset. And basically just said God thats rough, honestly good luck to you. I know its expensive but psychoanalysis would really, really benefit you.

[limetameta]

Not a day goes by that I don’t think about the difference in Tom Riddle aka Lord Voldemort's characterization depending on a) pairing b) his sexuality in said story and c) the form he takes (snake or basic)

I spoke in length about the way authors who write Tom Riddle or Voldemort in Older Tom or Voldemort /Hermione stories absolutely write this power fantasy masculine fellow who's like the ideal dark mysterious and incredibly absurdly straight bordering on never had a gay thought in his life romantic partner who quite naturally isn't really allowed any hobbies outside of being a manipulative sex god who is going to plunder through dark tomes and a taming of the shrew and or submissive hermione granger (but she doesnt wanna admit it ofc so they have to have this long and exhausting song and dance until ultimately she is changed for the worse by the power of dark lord cock) (Ron Weasley bashing mandatory)

Though typically these stories never depict a snake voldemort. Could be in fact because this category of volmione shipper is deeply invested in writing some sort of dark lord bridgerton fantasy. Plus it doesnt quite manage to overlap with monsterfuckers who a) delight in the macabre b) know what a hemipenis is and c) forked tongue rights

The snake voldemort dark lord who is typically either unhinged in the same way a person with a gun who happens to also deal with dementia is tends to generally not fancy Hermione. In part because Hermione is never Hermione in Volmione stories - she is always in actuality meant to be the Reader or the Author living out her sexy boudoir fantasies. And these authors don't like snake voldemort.

Now who likes snake voldemort? Based off of my reading experience hot damn the harrymort portion of the fandom goes crazy for this man. In part because this is a gay pairing and we all know how much gay queer etc folks go crazy for monsterfucking and loving because if someone can love this monstrocity then theres love for me out there too. More eloquent people have written on the phenomenon on monsterfucking and the correlation between queer people and it. I am here to talk about the fact that Snake Voldemort characterization compared to Basic Tom Riddle characterization even in Harrymort is vastly different (depending on author, position, au, etc etc) BUT. These are the main things I have noticed from my unfortunately extensive reading and interaction:

Snake Voldemort is typically a) asexual b) harrysexual because thats his horcrux c) rapist (suppose this is yet another way to generally show what a monster voldemort is. if there isnt a muggle raping orgy among the death eaters, are you really writing the death eaters?/ sarcasm )

This man does not have any thoughts of his own other than harry mine mine, global domination, murder, death, nagini, hiss hiss, hemipenis

There are, of course, outliers where they write Voldemort as a 3 dimensional being and I love them to bits, though they are outliers, perhaps even exceptions that prove the rule of preferred fandom characterization.

Older Tom Riddle in harry pairings kind of dips his foot in the older tom riddle volmione characterization but dips right back out before submerging in a dark bodice ripping fantasy characterization. They keep the manipulation and this continues to be a fantasy where there is a naive younger partner who needs to be shepherded by a stronger hand. Harry and Hermione both are meant to just give in and be shown the wondrous world of a) orgasams and b) a slight type of bimbofication where oh voldemort knows better so you should just do as he says and not think . Depends on the story! Not a rule, but a majority.

Seme and uke dynamics were popular and or mandatory in harrymort or tomarry pairings and we all know what a limiting and rigid dynamic those were.

These days more and more people are writing a multidimensional lord voldemort for all pairings and I gotta say its very nice. Good to sometimes open up a story and see the man have a hobby or not be too homophobic to take a cock up the arse.

As for Bellamort - kind of the same as Volmione but the sex is much more graphic. Haven't read enough to actually talk about.

[mockingbirdshymn]

for someone who loves preston to hell and back i do not post about him as much as i should

OK dusts off jeans ITS TIME FOR PRESTON TIME (headcanons v2?)

he overthinks everything all of the time. like, all of the time. he needs things to Be Perfect, and he wont allow them to not be. he drafts and redrafts and redrafts every play he writes. this is potentially a reason his plays arent as... quality as they could be. he overthinks things and ends up with a rigid, rushed storyline, but at least it has proper grammar.

preston does most of the chores around his and gram gram's apartment, mostly because it hurts her hips/back to do them herself. she gives preston chore money in return.

preston has a photo album of his family dating back to his great grandparents. it has entries from them, their hopes for the future, and pictures of their lives. preston finds it interesting.

preston backseat drives pretty often. this is mostly due to the fact his grandmother is not the best driver out there and he often has to correct her.

preston gets very emotional over movies/games/books. especially dog movies. he loves them, but every time he rewatches them, he bursts into tears.

preston writes in mostly cursive, unless hes being rushed.

when he was a kid, gram gram knit/sewed most of his costumes for his one-man plays

preston loved english class in elementary school because of the poem projects. he always made wild interpretations of popular poems for these. most of them were wrong, but he got points for effort at least

preston would have a plant, call it his pet, end up killing the plant, then hold a funeral for it

he is very good at improv. this makes him very funny, because he easily expands upon already funny jokes.

preston's back hurt like shit after the wcc episode. you cant tell me his spine isnt severed in half or some shit

preston writes letters to himself a year in the future, asking himself questions and reminding him to do things if he hasnt already done them.

preston is very extroverted. he needs to be around at least another person or he'll get very upset

preston has a google document of blackmail (jokingly) of his friends

hes worried his gram gram is slowly getting dementia, because of her forgetting so much. he doesnt know if thats because of dementia or something else

whenever preston sends letters, he uses a wax seal. he got it from a kit off of amazon. its his favorite part of sending letters

preston has so many blankets. throw blankets, comforters (just ones in a closet, not even for his bed), fort-blankets, weighted blankets, super soft blankets, knit blankets, quilts, everything you can imagine. this makes blanket forts very fun with him

before wanting to be an actor/playwright, preston wanted to be a baker, then an artist, and then a singer. actor/playwright stays as his dream job after he gains it.

preston often sleeps in on school days by mistake. its rare he actually gets up on time. probably because he stays up incredibly late most days

preston would burn the house down in case of a spider, no doubt

preston was so upset at the dear evan hansen movie and how it turned out. he was So Angry

preston cant watch horror. if he does, he will faint

speaking of fainting, thats something he does a lot. he also has low iron. is that connected? he doesnt know

preston gets very motion sick, and he does not like rollercoasters at all

preston is very dedicated and stubborn. if you say "its nothing" in regards to something that is very much not nothing, he will find out what that something is.

[bix-bom]

This tim/masky ass song

The song sort of presents like an uncontrollable creature of the dark, starving, hungry, confused, living off of primal instinct. And yknow what !!! Masky/ Tim core !!

Here r more silly thoughts and analysis on this song and why it makes me think of tim and his oh so hated proxy other. vvvv

Time stamp [2:24-2:38]

"I hover two centimeters over your body.

I'm dripping. I'm dripping.

I'm dripping with dementia (You can not believe).

I'm excited and not in a good way.

I'm steadily spinning.

I'm spinning. I'm spinning.

Way too slow for you to perceive"

Those lyrics give off that sort of desperate, confused, scared, uncontrolled feeling that I imagine Tim feels. Not knowing where Tim starts and where Masky ends, not knowing if there is an end, or even a separation of the two. "I hover two centimeters over your body." Gives off the perspective of Masky dragging people into his acts, and all of the people Tim blames himself for hurting (Jay, Brian, Alex, Sarah, Jessica, Seth, etc.).

I think the next line "Im dripping with dementia you can not believe." Is like a perfect way to explain that fear i mentioned in the first paragraph, that fear of Tim losing himself or even finding too much of himself. That dull ache inside of him, telling him to let it take control, unsure of how to stop it, unsure if thats part of him or the operator. Hes his own sleep paralysis demon, his own night terror, his own monster under the bed, but he still cant tell if its actually him or not. Like dementia, forgetting his actions, or rather Maskys actions and only finding remnants of previous events, having to piece together a puzzle with multiple missing parts, dementia-like suffering paining his body.

"Im excited and not in a good way." Anxiety, clearly. Fear, deep fear, a fear so hand-shaking it nearly presents itself as excitement, and maybe for the creature inside of Tim it is. These constant conflicting feelings inside of him from a persona he cant even remember the actions of fighting to be freed from the poor headaching man it lives in.

"Im steadily spinning. Im spinning. Im spinning. Way too slow for you to perceive." I think this line can allude to a lot. Tims slow-fast decline as things got worse while working on set, his deteriorating mental state, the thing inside of him clawing its way out as Jay keeps pushing further into the story. I dont think anyone really noticed his pain, and for a while nobody knew Tim = Masky, so that line can easily allude to that. Another thing it can allude to is Tims past and his ever growing urges that reside in him still. Nobody knowing a thing about him or his childhood, but it all slowly unravels itself for everyone to see, but nobody noticed right? They all just thought he was another cast member victim to this whole thing. He was just another unfortunate member right? Yes he was but hes had a past with the operator hidden for a long time, and when it revealed itself it went unnoticed for too long, until it was too late.

Maybe ill do more of this kinda stuff some time if i feel like it but right neow the melatonins kicking my ass and i have GOT to zonk out.

I should really make a playlist. Making a tag for these kinds of posts as we speak.

[mothlegs]

todays dreams, content warning for descriptions of gore, animal harm, car crash, children witnessing (but not otherwise involved), and a child in inappropriate adult wear

dont remember much of the first dream, except my skin was breaking

i think i was going to shower? when i noticed there was a hole under my best, and as i continued to undress, the holes grew until half my chest was skinless, revealing the slowly bleeding dermis. every time i moved, a bit more of my skin parted. i also had a few on my fingers and i think there were two holes that were several inches deep

i woke up from the dream into another dream, where i talked with my grandma about it. we went to a pharmacy to pick up some meds i'd accidentally not been given, and my grandma was...very confused the entire time, showing symptoms of dementia

i started crying in the pharmacy and ended up sobbing on the way out and back to the car. thats all i remember

the other dream. i dont fully remember what happened inside, but something about a girl becoming a woman but she kept changing heights as the way she saw herself changed? it was from the perspective of the girl/woman but it wasnt me but it kinda was..? it was in my grandmas old house, and she had all my things. she was wearing ddlc cosplay and in her adult form looked a lot like monika. she had to go out for something, and brought all my stuff- my bags, my plushies, etc.

the car was parked in the front yard? which. makes no sense cause irl it would barely fit a car, it's surrounded by hedges, and it's up a very tiny flight of stairs.

but her and her mom or grandma go in the car just to park it down the street so a neighbour can lend it later, and then get into the car with the dad, putting on several seatbelts and protection cause hes a bad driver or something?

and then. i go to the kindergarten, up along the forest, and notice three kids looking into the trees. there's two cars that have crashed, one of them is missing the entire roof, which lays a bit behind it. there doesnt seem to be anyone helping, just the people in the crash

i see something that looks severed. something moves and i see it's a man's torso. weird dream logic that makes no sense, but i could see his entire severed torso and his spine through it but he was also standing on one leg? i genuinely dont know how this worked, i just know i saw that his entire torso was severed but that he was also standing on one leg (the other was severed)

a man walked by with a nail in his thigh

and then there was. an elephant. missing its back right leg and having several wounds

they helped the elephant down the hill and walked down the street out of my view

i wondered if they were taking themselves or the elephant to the hospital first (closest hospital and zoo are next to each other where i live)

i told the kids that had been watching i'd keep them updated on what happened, but one of the boys said no

as i walked back to the car, i passed a kid in leather bondage-looking clothes :/ i was disturbed by this in the dream but couldnt find any words to say, so just kept walking

thats all i remember. i got woken up by rain and thunder twice today :)

[boyfae]

u know i don’t particularly care about the visual aspect of aging and it kind of baffles me that thats what people are scared of?

the dementia and being frail and prone to terrible injuries, thats the scary part. not the wrinkles and cool silver hair

[fictionfixations]

TW: some dark themes i want to write nagito komaeda (pls im not trying to be cringy cause oOOH anTAgoNiST, i wen tthrough that with kokichi already)

but i have zero idea what about

ive never done free time events besides in dr3 (cause thats the one dr game i own) because i think u do them all in the dating minigame??? i say that cause i did do like one and so the love meter bar was up +1 and stuff

but i watched a vid which is a retrospective over dr2

and how he views life as 'the more bad there is, the greater his luck gets'

ex: kidnapped in middle school, but the place said kidnapper puts him at has a winning lottery ticket of like 500 mil

ive been reading a bunch of stuff where [character fully believes theyre in the right] when they arent, but genuinely dont know whats wrong with it

i mean considering his parents died at a young age (which was the 'good' part of his luck...) id imagine hes a little desensitized to that

just tf do i write about

ive written dr3. kokichi in particular, being angsty stuff that was just me venting

i treated it a little lightly though. like 'oh, all my friends kinda want to kermit sewer slide and have bad home situations and vent and hurt and so on' its not that bad

add on the fact that theres 'trends' about depressed ppl in a fandom most of them including me are in, not to mention some bashing on said ppl that just gives the msg 'oh. youre just faking it. youre an attention seeker. stop it.'

which in fear of being lashed out at, you say nothing (also the stereotypical s/h of cutting on the wrist?? dude i felt like such a faker when i couldnt bring myself to do such a thing)

but that shouldnt mean my experiences are invalidated? certainly didnt stop me from actually trying to commit

basically.. i think maybe i can.. vent in a sense. having the reality break by other ppl who misunderstand you

in this confusion you 'mask' yourself, unsure of how to act besides the suffocating guilt

the thing is though is that i dont usually return to fandoms ive written before cause that means i usually abandon it for something else

i mean ive tried writing undertale stuff again but i didnt get that far cause motivation

aggh..

i feel like a lot of the fandom has misunderstood nagito in a way.

goddammit who else have i misunderstood bc i skipped free time ev

also no one told me nagito has dementia whatthefuck--

[sixflame438]

YAH MY DEMENTIA WAS IN MY ASS AGAIN AND I LITERALLY FORGOT BUT WHY YOU CALLIN ME HAG HUH ✋😒😒😒😒

UNACCEPTABLE

ill be the one crushing ur dusty ass fr fr ZONT play w me istggggg amen

SMAU BANGER INCOMING JHGFDSFGHJK FR COMEBACK WHENNNNNNN im in hiatus rn so i wont be uploading soon (sry guys i lied abt updating the dani fic its still in 600 words rn and I haven't even got to the middle part like bffr) BUT I have like 6 drafts rn so when my writing eras back I'm gonna be sure to feed my litol children well TRUSTTT

I once tried to do puzzles (it was the sunflower painting of van goh) but yknow I dunno how to even do that shit and ended giving up midway bc lemme tell you I was STRESSED) learned it wasn't for me the hard way hahaha 😀👍

if im a hag ur the old granmama form of evil step mother from snow white (dw ill support ur dusty crusty ass bc I'm a gud friend duh)

im kidnapping u w me if u ever even try to find and hunt my ass istg I'm a gud girl everyone will believe if I said YOU went down bc of natural cause 😇😇😇

THE OLD GRANMAMA FORM OF THE EVIL STEP MOTHER IS CRAZY FUCK YOU MEAN THATS ME HAVE YOU SEEN YOUR ASS CLEARLY THATS YOU

Hiatus she said, wait till its revealed shes on indefinite hiatus instead 🙄🙄 GET THAT DANI FIC DONEEE

I have 4 half finished drafts and i was going through them the other day omg what the heck was i trying to write 😭😭😭 TRUST ILL HAVE ONE DONE AND OUT BY THE END OF THIS WEEK ILL LITERALLY WRITE YOU SOMETHING IF I DONT GET IT DONE LIKE PLZ IM ALRDY AT LIKE 5K I THINK GIVE ME A LIL TIME

Teehee the smau im working on currently is a collab one 😁 first chapter is dont but i cant do anything more bc ive gotta wait for her to do the next one and shes on holiday rn 🤦‍♀️(sssshhhh dont tell her im revealing more info, she might come for me or worse not send me my presents)

But that reminds me i have another smau idea i can work on in the mean time so 😈😈 fr the only thing stopping me is the choice of love interest 😭

Dude i love puzzles ☺️ i legit did this 1000 piece one in 5hrs 20mins it was soo nice.

YOU KNOW WHAT ISINT NICE?? DOING ALL THAT JUST FOR A PIECE TO BE FUCKING MISSING WHAT THE HECK????? AND ITS NOT LIKE OTS ONLY HAPPENED ONCE I SWEAR EVERY PUZZLE I OWN IS MISSING A PIECE AND I DONT KNOW WHY 😭😭

[pinkadork]

Im fine

Its not like ive been setting myself up what feels like forever to both really and also i guess not at all always be in the cycle im in. The predestined fuck up ig my moms a fuck up

Im a fuck up

I cant stay a job apparently

I’m too scared of every if and but when it comes to trying it to be creative and do things like i used too, nowadays i feel like its tainted because im not even finna be doing it because i like it anymore, but instead just proving i didn’t give up, when i did

I was tired, emotionally drained, put in a position i nor anyone really asked for but guess whose grandparents this belonged to

Im not a fucking mistake or a right person wrong time

I am a nigga thats has been struggling and it was before you sure but everyone in the fuck ass house kept trauma bonding new and old covid didnt fucking help.

How the fuck are we fucking but aint no protection or immediate showers available

How am i toxic for not wanting what felt like more like a: fuck my poor ass boy friends and dementia ridden grandparents( and while its not anyones job to guide me if we in a relationship and you feel some way say some shit some how ) the weirdest ( but unfortunately not worst) living situation ive been in, the deepest most confusing, loving yet infuriating, real yet faux ass relationship ive had with anyone.

Like even now I physically am sick to my stomach about the idea or notion of again my ex, someone who has dumped me like at least twice since July and lowkey high key didnt even count it it was like a secret trial i failed because ofc im not sure of you actually love me mr. I tell the world you beat me but sure we can play minecraft

Fucking the part the gets me the most about this is i know you know how i feel and its just

I feel set up

Like genuinely not just the relationship shit

And im not gonna act like i dont play my role in shit and attribute a lot to the shit that get me and others where we are but jfc im tired

I’m not the brightest bulb but im not a fucking dumbass

And i did more than read the room, i saw the patterns, felt the vibe shifts, and tried so fucking hard.

Its sad whatever im pathetic but i think i knew without saying it (and even saying this it doesnt mean all the people out with then bc some are still here and we cool but fucking) My ex was the realest mf i had in my circle, and which is probably why its hard being like man aint no fucking way we went out like that. Im not for the see you in a few years shit, im not for the go fuck around like i aint give my heart, i was (am) a dumb nigga that went to to college before dropping out after missing all my classes so i could be attached virtually at the hip to them

Its not their fault and for years i didnt feel that at all.

But the second i saw that they felt like they wasted so much on me and this that whatever man my blood got to boiling on some seafood type shi

Its like

You can do evil

They can do evil

And be vindicated and justified in ya own right because in ya head this is just karma and you standing up for ya self and

Then its like i do evil snd immediately fold because i aint mean shi

Nigga got slammed by me 2 or three times

And everytime it was some bs

I let you convince i was being an ass for feeling threatened because " weight and height and muscle” but fucking niggas never care about perspectives

Yeah we are arguing

Yeah im loud, which is infuriating because my usual everyday speaking voice whether it because i subconsciously (now very actively) am aware of how loud i can be, is actually very quiet and i tend to have to repeat myself and even did to my ex because yeah

Fuck im so high man

Its been awhile since i ran out of actual medicine

Like i feel like ive said its been like two weeks for like a month now.

Now i gotta go through new everything, finding insurance, therapy, reassessments, medication changes, so much has happened and yet nothing has, i got fired today, i think, i mean i definitely got the text “Your assignment is finished do not return anymore” but this is the first temp agency really that ive been at , its just like

Like that?

Its kinda how sudden i end up either in or out of someones life, ex, family, friends

Sometimes i feel like ive been so many different me’s and am constantly “coming of age” (metaphorically speaking or in case thats ominous still, like i feel like i do in fact get older but do to circumstance, bad choices, and a lot of fuckening, i very much am learning alot of basic shit i shouldve known, or yes i am just now learning how to not be like donny on the wildthornberrys

I truly was happy and want to die everytime i think about how unhappy i made them

Make them

The wont miss me when i die because im alive and they surely dont is the thing i come back to whether wrong or not it is

Sometimes i cry about things i dont know are true bit definitely feel on my gut or for those in the loop my LN

You can keep my heart in dont want it anymore

I know realistically im bugging and i just feel bad and i need meds and yadayada yada

Im gonna be blunt with ya chief, im blowing my fucking brains out gn