#and i KNOW they dont mean it like that and theyre trying to be sympathetic

[fortjester]

i know that whenever some kind of tragedy occurs everyone feels the need to say smth abt it in order to make the person at the center of it feel better or smth. but tbh? pisses me the fuck off, actually. feels like wow. something awful has happened and yet life goes on. i can stew in misery for a select amount of time but eventually i will have to get up and keep going. and then the SECOND that you do it's all "oh im so sorry X happened". nobody fucking asked. thanks so much for your needless apology it means absolutely fucking nothing to me. not in the slightest was it about you. get OFF of my dick right this second or im going to pound you to a fine mist for daring to bring it up in my presence. are we clear.

[crushedsweets]

i NEED to know more about the ‘familial’ between clockwork and jeff , what does this mean

oh man. ok so canonically(on clockys side) they had a brother-sister type friendship and i thought it was sweet + i thought it would spark insane drama.

im imagining clocky had bumped into jeff a lot while she was in her 7-month slender-sick daze, killing people and passing out in random parking lots and ditches and gas station bathrooms. a few times when the proxies try capturing her, jeff intercepts and is like 'ahhhhh L bozo she got away lolz' just cuz he thinks she's cool.

he loves all the chaos she's causing in the city. he'd think she's badass, follow her around, mess with her. find her passed out in a slightly too public place and drag her somewhere that cops arent gonna quickly find her, cuz he LIKES having this other killer cause hella problems in the city. and clocky would have some moments that she remembers of this weirdo guy laughing, splashing some water on her face, taking her to a safe area, and heading out.

SO, when the proxies get rid of her O/S syndrome, they put her in the barn....

which...is where jeff has been crashing at for a long time.... and they'd immediately recognize each other. "OH SHIT YOURE THAT CRAZY ASS CHICK ARENT YOU" "you're that ugly motherfucker who saved my ass." i dont think jeff is some super sympathetic sweetheart who was saving her cuz he cares so deeply and just wants to be there for her cuz he loves her sooo bad... but i think he thinks she's cool, he was there for her(even if it was just for laughs), they lived together, they bicker like siblings, and i think clocky would have saved jeff from the proxies a lot too. outside of the BEN thing, of course.

so theyre siblings >.o but it gets really sticky when nina comes into the picture.

[ms-all-sunday]

please give us your Nami thoughts, I love your takes on her. It can be about anything you're currently thinking about but if I could pick then could you talk in depth about what you think about the Nami & Ussop dynamic ? Like yeah it doesn't need explanation about why they're my favorite duo among the strawhats but some of the things you've said about Nami and Ussop individually were not things I had thoughts about before so I want to know what you think of Usopp & Nami

i love nami forever thank you anon this is so sweet and i feel so appreciated. i hope i dont let you down. i'll do both!

i think i havent talked formally on this blog about how nami is written in most fanfiction to other people, but i try to emphasize in my fanfiction the fact she's an abuse victim since I feel that's one of her most apparent traits. the way that she deals with trauma is very reliant on exclusively herself, something i don't think is talked about a lot is that her expectation of what she is told is true is not only reflective of how pirates are known to the god fearing public (indicative of propaganda) but that she exclusively sees herself as the exception to a lot of rules, there's this inherent close-mindedness she has but won't ever really get rid of, that naunce and the room for things to go positively can't fit within her self perception.

this is because she believes she is the only thing in life she can control, and it's a necessary self-perception to maintain the inner worldview she has.

this of course is a survival instinct inherited from her childhood. but what it speaks to i think is that in real life and one piece the anime, that abuse victims (children and teens especially) can come out with a cynical view of the world and externalize that onto others (advocating for the current dysfunctional societal systems for example like nami does in repeating wg propaganda) simply because of how much we alienate them and how that continues to give no hope to people looking for community and understanding.

i like usopp and nami. theyre my favourite dynamic as well! i think something nami is able to do with usopp and nobody else (even with women) is give him the benefit of the doubt. i think this is because she relates to him

(i think she has bpd as well but i cant decide whether thats my legitmate reading of the text or me projecting. i write her like she has bpd. you decide.)

if we look at water 7 i think she's the most sympathetic of the usopp apologists because she was very obviously coming at it from a place of understanding from usopps emotional perspective (because she relates to him and loves him) in a way that nobody else really was articulating. because she's been in that situation where she's successfully alienated herself from everybody she loves in a way nobody else on that crew related to usopp (and by extension robin) on that crew during water 7.

nami doesnt just have a relationship to usopp she could have with no other man she has a relationship to usopp she couldn't have with anybody. i think. usopp is the only one who can cross the invisible boundary of the fact she expects you to be a kiss ass towards her lest you get consequences but usopp isnt a kiss ass to her and there are no consequences. (in fact usopp is quite snarky/mean to her, which is how he is when he isn't masking and completely confident in himself: see end of enies lobby) she apologizes to him when he's snarky to her in thriller bark.

since this is a nami themed post i won't talk about usopp as much. but have you noticed? usopp is mean when he's comfortable with people. he has this attitude at the end of enies lobby as they're escaping on the merry, i think i registered it subconsciously but i only did register it consciously a few weeks ago, but if usopp is truly comfortable he's not a kiss-ass whatsoever. and he's never a kiss ass with nami.

we don't really think about it like this because people are so prone to dismiss usopp is one of those characters that have a facade of palatability when he feels he's not on the same level as someone, coming from his insecurity, but in regards to his genuine attitude we see in enies lobby and with nami that admiration is not the true breath of how he thinks about zoro or sanji or luffy. he thinks they're fucking stupid as well. and he's right. (this exact thing is another reason nami is able to emphasize with him. she thinks similarly)

this ties into both nami and usopps implementation as shonen characters. they're smart and witty and have big personalities to differentiate them from the more powerful characters, i feel this juxtaposition with more traditional shonen characters has made oda feel like he has to justify both usopp and namis existences in the story in a way he doesn't with the other characters. i think it's this element that makes them the most consistently well written throughout every arc they appear in as opposed to the other 7.

[omgwhatchloe]

i am haunted by your sean's accurate recovery post how do you think it would have impacted how the gang treated him like how would they react to fun lovable sean macguire actually being so injured and weak to the point he couldn't keep that face up and needed help

ok so at first, when we have charles, javier and arthur, shock and denial. they would comment on his condition as they stared through the binoculars but not fully process yet what this means. when they cut him down and hes just laying there, it starts to dawn on them. something fucking awful has happened here. arthur would drag him up, only for him to crumble like dead weight with a few groans, then face the inevitable that that boy is not okay and they have a huge problem. cue them emptying their satchels for food and water asap. also theres the lingering, unspoken thought in their heads that he absolutely stinks but it would be super inappropriate to point it out.

back at camp, theyre so excited for seans return party. that he doesnt get. because when they see him, weak and slumped on the back of arthurs horse, bruised and bloody and stained, they begin to wonder…why did they expect something else? why did they expect a bouncy, happy, healthy and ready-to-party sean to return after weeks of torture? in what universe (the canon one lol) would that happen and make sense? theres no hugs and reunion. theres the yell of “i need some help over here.”

so seans in recovery, after finally being bathed (by who up to u), and hes not happy. theres no smiles. theres only pained groans and noises and people being ushered away from him, and the party is kind of a pity party. arthurs thinking about the fact he debated leaving him there, even journalling it, because he feels so guilty. lenny is wondering why the universe took jenny away from him and if theyre taking sean away from him too. karen feels lost, like she doesnt know how to help. everytime they hear miss grimshaw going to check on him, see lenny and hosea trying to help him walk on his burnt feet, see mr pearson cooking him separate meals so he can maybe attempt to eat as best he could, hear his panicked yelling as he wakes up from another nightmare, they are reminded about how low on their priority list he was during and after colter.

it feels like hes a different person, and they dont know if they’ll get old sean back. i mean, he needs help to walk, hes bruised all over from literally being beat and stamped on and needs help to sit up, he cannot eat what they eat, they hear him crying to lenny, and the majority of them do feel guilty.

however, there is one good night where he sits up and drinks with bill around the fire, who is so happy to see him up and able to drink with him that he isn’t snarky or rude. hes questioning and sympathetic..in his own way of course.

so yeah hope that little ramble does it for you!

[tillman]

the way ppl will dance around the abuse in the assassins guild kind of drives me insane. like you said its So fundamental to understanding them. you dont (and shouldnt!) need to cheer on venoms horrible taste in men or whatever but its part of understanding him. maybe the assassins guild isnt just omg millia and venom oomfies and maybe its a tragedy in three generations. Maybe its venom and millia finally starting to break the cycle. i feel like ppl have lost the ability to understand that having a villain and that villain having depth and reasons is like. Good storytelling. the assassins guild is a shakespearean tragedy to me. we should crucify zato btw

nodding so sagely at you. yeah i guess its kinda indicative of fandoms need to sand things down for shipping or extremely base dynamics but. its just so sadddd. theyre such a perfect tragedy in the overarching narrative (that has lasting implications on the themes and ideas the story is trying to tell! i dont think its a stretch to say the parallels between like ky and zato or ky and millia for example are At All Accidental.) but man like. when i say its amazing how sympathetic and good of a character zato is i think a lot of people just kinda go whaat and skim over it when its like. ohh. ohh. do they even know. he is just a sad scared man who wants any sort of confirmation hes doing the right thing. he wants so badly to do good by someone Anyone. he all but begs slayer over and over for this. he even crawls to millia to just tell him they can be happy that happiness is possible. but he can never have it. he traded his ability to look forward and is stuck in the past. he gave up hope when he gave up the ability to look at the stars or whatever he says in vol 3 of nok. and hes such a fucking good character for it!!!!!! but its like. way easier to just put venom in some yaoi and make millia a uwu lesbian wingman or whatever than dissect how complicated the guild is and how Reliant they all are on each other.

anyways wheres daisukes quote. "He is by no means a redeemable human being, but there is a very human drama found in themes of grief. "

[gacha-incels]

genuinely what frustrates me the most is having to not just tell people that if want to make any change with their friend groups or the people they hang out with to put their fucking foot down. if your friends are apathetically holding onto pm or nexon or whatever call them out, say theyre horrible people and cut them off or SOMETHING. stop prioritizing misogynists. seeing people who actively speak out against this still interact with people who just dont care is the craziest part of all of this.

I think I understand you’re talking about other people and their friend groups, but since this is the kind of thing people personally grapple with I’ll put my thoughts on dealing with it individually.

I would say if these are your close friends in real life that you care about it's worth it to try and walk them through some of this on an individual, non-condescending friendly level. for some people it can take longer to sort out their thoughts and personal convictions regarding things like this and honestly that's just how it works out sometimes. Skills like this can't be rushed through and cannot be based in fear if you want to learn. If you have the luxury and privilege to attend college a good teacher or mentor can often help with this. You can see sometimes even on this blog when presented with a different approach to the subject people will change their minds. This of course is only possible if they're amenable to it, which not everyone will be. I'm not talking about someone who is an unapologetic misogynist for example, it's not your job to rehabilitate someone like this. I have more I guess "extreme" ideas on politics and art, and over the years I've been able to share these freely with my close friends and have them understand, but they had never been bigoted people in the first place and we already agree on important fundamentals. We can disagree on some of the more niche art theories sometimes which won't cause a huge dramatic rift even though we're all artists, but that's nothing like disagreeing fundamentally on something that affects your rights as a person or belittling someone’s entire artistic practice. What I'm trying to say here is this approach is dependant on the type of friend you're speaking with, but regardless I am sympathetic with the frustration regarding people being apathetic about this kind of thing. However you can’t let people’s apathetic friends bother you so much it supersedes attention towards the actual parties engaging in this misogyny. I know you probably didn’t mean these people are literally the most frustrating part of this entire situation but sometimes it’s good to take a step back and reevaluate your focus. Online it's probably a bit more complicated, especially if your friendship is based on a particular "fandom". I don't really use social media that much or participate in anything fandom, so I haven't had people I consider "online friends" since I was like 13 on deviantart lol they're all offline friendships from school, hobbies, work or artistic practices. So I'm not sure how much this approach would differ if you're speaking with someone or a friend group that you only know online, but if you consider yourself pretty close with these people it can be worth it to try and have a serious, ongoing conversation. If not then you can’t get so caught up in what these people are doing that your entire focus has shifted onto their personal apathy of the situation instead of the actual ongoing situation. This isn't me chastising you or anything, I think it's good to be concerned about these kinds of things and I appreciate your message. This is just general advice.

[terraliensvent]

I’m not defending the anon you’re all dogpiling, but it is an extremely chronically online take to say that 19 and 16 is a “weird” age gap for serious conversations. The trauma dumping should not have happened, and it is the older person’s responsibility to cope with their issues themselves… But sometimes we blurt things out when we’re not in a healthy state of mind. I’m sure a lot of us can say that we’ve unintentionally trauma dumped on someone before when they come to us and ask “hey are you doing okay? do you wanna talk about it?” and we just let the floodgates open.

Maybe I’m just being too sympathetic as someone who’s been in a dark place and has spewed my trauma on friends who try to comfort me. But I guess the difference is that gin needs to acknowledge that they can’t just continuously vent their life issues on some stranger on the internet. Having a support group is good, but you never know when someone you think is your friend will screenshot all your DMs with them and then post them online, right? lol

In all seriousness, I genuinely hope that gin wakes up one day and realizes that they NEED to just take a step back from social media and work out their problems offline. This is not healthy and they seem to just be prone to drama. I think both sides of this argument have their good and bad takes. The 16 y.o probably shouldn’t have publicized this in a whole document, and gin obviously should not have dumped their life problems onto them.

post related

thats why i said IN MY OPINION, it is weird. it is their responsibility to check who theyre talking to, and if it were hypothetically a more egregious gap, like for example 23 and 16, it would still be weird to me for them to use the younger person as a crutch. im not even saying you cant do small vents to your minor friends, this post put it pretty well and its one thing to say "yeah im just having a tough time right now," vs "hey are you ok?" "yeah i just stopped taking my meds and im coping with alcoholism," its also an issue to me that veal seemingly had to manage civ to the point of making sure they go to class and do their morning routine, and when veal was offline for an hour civ spammed them.

having a bad mental state can be an explanation for clouded judgement, but i think its still the responsibility of the older person to make sure theyre staying in line (and if they dont, to properly acknowledge the behavior was wrong, NOT defend it and act like it wasnt a big deal)

theres also the discrepancy that, to my knowledge, civ and veal barely knew each other. the doc says they only met around the terra revolution in April, which means they'd only have been online friends for around 5 months at that point. being online friends with someone is a LOT different than being irls, and it is a lot to dump on someone out of the blue, especially someone who's only in high school.

i do agree though, civ severely needs to get offline, seek professional help, and build a support system irl. the way these issues just pop up continually shows a trend that maybe being so online isnt good for them

[blood-injections]

i really want to know what Dr benzedrine's reaction is to seeing funsandkid love fighting (assuming that they do that because I haven't read all of ur funsandkid posts yet)

Yeah funsandkid totally fights but its more for fun and just adrenaline versus the usual funkobra fighting for pent up whatever for sanity etc. The three of them are their own little fight club idk if I'll ever get to writing anything about it but they'd try keeping it secret from Benz because. Doctor and sorta leader of the suitehearts they all think he'd be pissed bc they're unnecessarily hurting eacother or whatever even though they never go too far its just scrapes and bruises at the end of the day and an occasional black eye or split lip or something. Very rarely do they get seriously hurt aside from ghoul accidentally breaking kobras nose once. I also think benz wouldn't like kobra that much like hed be thick as theives with jet star i bet bc they have a medic/tired mom kind of bond. Anyway i think kobra gets sandman into racing and benz doesnt like kobra for that bc it means. I mean hes like its a hobby cool sandman needs more hobbies. He just doesn't like it bc its kobra and bc sandmans away from base more often its just best freind jealousy yknow hed used to fighting alongside sandman and them being super close but now kobra and ghoul are getting all the attention. But eventually like kobra and ghoul are around all the time and eventually hes just indifferent hes used to their bullshit he dosnt hate kobra hes just annoyed by him at worst. When he learns they like to fight eachother he isnt pissed like they think like he gives them a lecture but ultimately his reaction is just like. A heavy sigh and a "fine" yknow. Like i said hes used to their shit and hes not happy that theyre beating eachother up but he can see they clearly have like a system about it and make sure bot to go too far and take care of eachothers wounds if theres any so hes like as long as you dont waste our medical supplies i dont give a shit just dont concuss eachother.

BUT. If its the Dr Frankenstein Dr Benzedrine and frankenghoul thing im building, he would have a muchh different reaction because if ghouls his creation hed have a love hate relationship with it like any like parent and their kid hed hate that ghoul maybe didn't turn out exactly how he wanted like not being like him or hed hate that ghoul hates him because ghoul Would hate him, he'd have a sense of loyalty to benz and feel like he owes him it but also hed hate benz for like. Dude you literally made me alive but you wont let me like go be a person or do half these things fuck you. Because yeah benz is super protective of him. In this case ghoul would have a ton of pent up anger and sandman would be sympathetic with his needs to like fucking live and would sneak him out to have fun behind benz back and then theyd meet kobra and in this case if benz found them sneaking off to party or whatever, let alone fighting eachother for fun, hed freak the fuck out cause hes so protective of ghoul and hed yell abt them putting it in danger and risking ghouls health and shit becaue like. He made ghoul and hes scared ghoul could be unmade basically. Hes scared bc hes a crazy mad scienist and grafted different peoples body parts together or whatever and hes scared of ghoul literally falling apart at the seams but like ghouls tougher than benz thinks he is and maybe he'll see that eventually, but at the moment hed be pissed at them all and hed like try to keep ghoul and sandman separated and hed ban them from seeing kobra, which yknow it just makes them all hate him more rip and totally leads to ghoul fucking running away and joining the fab four and sandman probably fucking off to stick with his boyfriends and it totally makes the crews have a rivalry and shit until they all talk it out and forgive eachother, to their extents

[slightlyhopefulromantic]

Wait if Glenn dies in this Au does Morgan go on trail ?! More importantly Mommy Jodie?!

OH ANON . YOUVE UNLOCKED MY TRAP CARD . yes! yes she does!! this is actually the part of the au i started with on tumblr, and its my FAVORITE part of this au (except for the lesbianisms XD), so im just gonna link you to that! though as a note, the designs are a lil out of date! except morgans. ive always known her. ill reiterate some of that here below, but ill try to be briefer LOL and also talk A Lot More about jodie/his and morgan's relationship in this au!

there is NOT a fifth mom. i did not particularly feel like making a wlw cop character. theres enough of those in the world, theres a reason why ive never genderbent jodie even though hes my baby girl. instead, i twisted the punishment so that jodie is still married to morgan! essentially, morgan is made to retroactively be married to a "safer" parent, who in this case, is jodie. hes as protective as she is but without the paranoia, he has a "safe" job (according to copaganda, at least, im not gonna go into a full spiel but Never Marry A Fucking Cop. please love yourself), hes an all around very cheerful and loving man who is very capable of keeping morgan and nicholas safe. the opposite of glenn, really, minus the cheerful and loving part.

(as a side note: jodie does quit the force in this au - on earth, while the moms are trapped in the forgotten realms, their missing persons case is waved off repeatedly by the police. jodie very strongly insists, a lot, on trying to push the case, but once the dads team up to try and save their wives, ala the moms in normal canon teaming up, henry just. goes on a whole rant many times about how cops dont actually care and it starts really settling in with jodie. so he quits the force to focus full time on helping their wives! post season 1, he works as a mall security guard and is pathetic about it <3 my wet cat)

morgan does not take this well, understandably. jodie does not take his loving wife suddenly not knowing him anymore very well, either! theyre both really fucking sad! i am like, seriously obsessed with their dynamic, theres so many different ways i could take it and i spin them in my head endlessly. currently, im very fond of them just like... trying to make it work? not necessarily as a couple, but as co-parents who are married. despite her apprehensions about everything jodie has going on, morgan finds him interesting and in a more sympathetic sense, feels for him in the sense that he lost his wife due to the timeline jump. jodie is just... in love with her. even though she isnt his morgan anymore, he still loves her, and hes willing to learn about this new her. even if she makes him really sad constantly. they settle into being like, weird half-friends, half-lovers, full-time parents to the world's silliest little guy (a deeply serious 13-year-old boy).

im not gonna draw anything new for this, but i will toss in a VERY ROUGH sketch i did a few days ago and sent to my dear friend cereal because i was thinking about them gfhjbdghdfj post-s1 morgan and jodie, you are sooo so funny to me

i will throw you a bone for mommy jodie, though. there in an au of this au where mercedes goes on trial instead, and so henry and jodie are gay married. jodie does count as a mom in that. hes a man mom. cereal is obsessed with it so i will likely draw out some stuff for that at some point LMAOOOO theyre so silly <3 jodie oak you mean everything to me actually

[homophyte]

okay im going to be vulnerable and admit though ive owned house of leaves for a few months i was spurred to start reading it the other day after watching that video on myhouse.wad . no one make fun of me. that being said.

im not necessarily going though it super in depth and more just trying to unravel some stuff for funsies with some various help from old forums and what strikes me as sometimes glaringly missing from discussions on the book is the way it relates to women. like the fact that the house itself is treated as though it has a female identity will get talked about but theres not rlly discussions about the ramifications of that--how will and holloways posturing--named as explicitly about 'male dominance'--is essentially a fight over who gets to get the girl. wills early venture into the house is literally likened to karen kissing wax, like theyre BOTH infidelities, and thats not nearly the first time karen herself treats the situation like the house is her romantic rival or at least rival for wills attention (im not far enough in to have too solid a grasp on the implications of the name delial--but lets just say i have a suspicion?).

anyway whats maybe even more interesting than that is the way its kinda ALL about gender--its men who keep entering the house desperate to know what its about, its men driven to write about it and uncover its secret knowledge, and it drives them fucking crazy. like...you can read that--VERY EASILY--as men 'discovering' the ""hidden"" interiority of women, like, the very idea that women are complex people with their own ideas and emotions and inner worlds. the fact that the house has a secret inside is huge fucking news and just about every man in the novel reacts to it as such, but the reactions from women are like...not that. idk im not done with it by any means but the similarity between the conversations between karen & wax at the end ch VII and johnny & thumper at the end of VIII really apparent. when thumper is listening to johnny, seeking to understand him, being really invested and interested and not reacting with annoyance or disdain or boredom like he expects, it genuinely really knocks him out to the point he nearly cries--and then he bottles it up, writes it off, even when she echoes karens exact words flirting with wax he doesnt register it.

the text displays a consciousness around gendered expectations here, particularly bc thumper is a sex worker, that she cant be expected to intellectually engage w it, but she can and does...and then johnny doenst know what to DO about it, how to engage w a real moment of understanding between the sexes or whatever so he very consciously falls back on gender expectations for men and refuses to feel that connection, severing the tie he inadvertently built w her and consigning the moment to unknowable blackness. the void is invented by people determined to treat it as foreign--which often means treating it as hostile (holloways gun, johnnys suspicions when thumper didnt call him back).

that she ends with the comment 'you just need to get out of the house' is like...almost laughably on the nose especially w the way chauvanist culture has proliferated on the internet. like in the book too, dont get me wrong, its just so startlingly accurate to whats going on it seems like she really must UNDERSTAND in a way johnny fails to capture in his narration but still comes through due to her being kinda fucking great--sorry i REALLY like thumper in this actually she may be my favorite. its sort of difficult for me to look at the line and divorce it in my head from the phenomenon of the incel--read a certain way, you have johnny ranting and raving about how he just cant ever figure out what the collective 'woman' is thinking and all this time hes spent driving himself crazy about it, and thumper listening and understanding and very sympathetically and honestly saying 'that wouldnt be a big deal if you interacted w women instead of holing up inside trying to theorize about it.'

i dont necessarily think its a mistake that johnny is the kind of person he is, a partying womanizer or whatever, bc sex becomes his only interaction w women (his failure to talk abt the book w kyrie in favor or fucking her) just as entering the house becomes wills only interaction w it (or at least he rages when he cant have that interaction, he values it above others). the book is pretty clear about both of these acting as forms of penetration. as johnny gets more invested in the text he interacts more and more w the women zampano used as interpreters and comes more and more into contact w women and less and less able to deny their interiority.

the reaction from men that women are people is simple and plain disbelief, followed by disconnected, invasive, rigorous study, study that is likened to war, to surgery, to expedition--anything but understanding. its kind of baffling idk maybe im just not looking in the right place to see people talking about it but this sorta feels like...the point. hell even earlier in ch VII on page 91 you get will and holloway excitedly talking about calling the press about their huge discovery that no one will believe...and then just, karen, living her life, treated like an enigma. i literally have this written in my notes as "men discover women have internality; their wives decline to comment"

[thefreshprinceofjunes]

well since today is apparently a RANT POST kind of day, im gonna type up some thoughts ive had on vanitas ive wanted to get out of my system (i dont like him)

i realize expending energy on smth negative doesnt help anyone, but its the sort of thing ive had eating at my brain, and im hoping writing it down will allow me to stop thinking about it so much lol (luv having ocd alongside being autistic)

i do not understand the love for vanitas. i really dont.

and im not talking about fans who like him bc hes edgy sora. theyre villain fuckers. i get that.

i mean i dont understand how many people legitimately think hes a sympathetic character with more depth than just, like, being an asshole.

and before anyone says anything, yes, i know the bbs novel goes into his backstory, and makes it really tragic.

but kh3 did absolutely no job whatsover of incorporating any of that into his scenes in the game. he just comes off as the same big asshole that caused nothing but pain and suffering for the wayfinder trio in bbs

like all of the members of the real organization had some sort of redeeming moment before they died again, except for him. to me it felt like he just flipped off ven and sora and went, ‘haha fuck you guys i LOVE being darkness and i LOVE being evil see yall fucking later’, even as sora was trying to reach out to him

(yes i realize theres smth involving the translation of this scene, but im just gonna go off the english dub rn)

and. it sounds really petty. and a sign i might take shipping too seriously.

but i keep thinking about this shit because tumblr keeps recommending an artist on here that draws so/vani + vani/ku + so/ri/vani

and i cannot wrap my mind around those ships at ALL

even besides vanitas having soras face, why in gods name would a pure, sweet, innocent boy like him want to date just. the biggest douchebag??

and riku??? the one desperately in love with sora???? THAT riku??? dating a boy who looks like sora but is the exact opposite of him in terms of personality???????

its like. doing a disservice to both of their characters to have them involved with him IMO. like why would they ever. theyre so much better than him. they DESERVE better.

again. i know its just shipping and i know ppl are having fun. i recognize theyre not hurting anyone. and they often make up aus specifically to fit their ships. but i just. 

i do not get it, man. vanitas sucks.

(its worth mentioning i am bitter also bc i always see ppl call xion [my fav female character and like second or third fav character overall] the most pointless/shoehorned character in kh. and i just wanna be like. excuse me, have you SEEN vanitas???)

[chainlinksunset]

》 who:

——— DID system. dx'd. bodily 21+. have other disorders. withholding count for privacy; any of us may post here or not at their discretion.

》 what:

——— shitposts, aesthetics, banter, chatting, roleplaying, cats, ocs, games, music, whatever. interests vary by person. i don't know what everyone likes.

》 why:

——— getting to know each other. meeting and interacting with new people outside our household. having a semianonymous space to exist online without being expected to mask as an amalgamation.

=======================

×× dni:

×× endos, pro-endo, endo-sympathetic. | minors. | general dni criteria incl various types of bigotry.

=======================

~~ notes:

~~ if you need smth tagged we'll try. just let us know.

~~ this blog is for a did system. you becoming friends with one person does not mean you are friends with all of us. most likely the rest of us have no fucking clue who you are. don't be fucking weird about it; you wouldn't be shocked your new acquaintance's coworkers don't kiss you on the cheeks the moment you walk into their job.

~~ idrc if yr "endo-neutral" bc youve decided you dont give a shit abt whatever the hell theyre doing, but if youre "endo-neutral" bc you "don't wanna pick sides and everyone is valid" you can go to hell.

[selamat-linting]

continuing my last liveblog, this time focused on the characters.

-vriska is. amazing. she is THE CHARACTER EVER. i enjoy her a lot but when it comes to morality, she's... i dont know what to make of her. like, from all the fandom drama i heard secondhand, she was made to be this mass murderer. like yeah, she is responsible to a lot of fuckups in plot, she is ableist to tavros and used aradia's boyfriend sollux to kill her, and sabotaged jade's attempt to get into the game but i think at her core, she's just a 13 year old bully. if she was in a normal human environment, raised by an ordinary family, at worst, she'd be the kind of girls who spread mean rumors of the outcast kids at school. still bad but, garden variety shittiness that can be fixed with age and growth. its the condition she's in that drove her into such terribleness. alternia let kids kill and maim each other, eliminate people who defy the law and customs. its a tyrannical empire and of course the kids produced in that kind of environment are vicious to each other. its not wrong the other kids dont want nothing to do with her and seeing her gets her shit kicked by aradia was cathartic but. man, i still feel very sympathetic to her.

-also, if im not wrong, her romantic relationships now would be :

nicholas cage - one sided matesprit(?)

kanaya maryam - moirail / auspistice (?)

tavros - the most unhealthy kismesis i have ever seen

-also, poor tavros. im waiting for the scene where he gets to kick the shit out of vriska like aradia but alas. its nice that he and vriska seems to get on better terms later on. i have to admit, vriska taking the time to dress up and set the mood to kiss tavros is kind of endearing while also being yikes what the fucking fuck my guy. but anyway, tavros being disabled as only a fodder for stair jokes, and then getting his legs forcibly replaced when the wheelchair jokes gets old, and then making him the butt of the joke again, good god. i want tavros's narrative arc to be treated more seriously. andrew hussie you are an ableist piece of shit you know that right?

-and kanaya! its so interesting how space aspects players are all very aesthetic-minded. they always have the cool pretty stuff. also she had a crush on rose isnt she? the way she admired her gamefaqs playthrough guide reminds of that tumblr fairytale where cinderella reads aurora's diary and fell in love. haha! right after i have that suspicions, i check tumblr to see if theyre a popular ship and apparently theyre also canon? cool. its so nice to be proven right. theyre both unhinged weird girls but in a very subdued way. also, i think karkat have been underestimating how much she helped on cooling down the group's animosities. not just between tavros and vriska, but eridan and feferi too, to an extent.

-speaking of feferi, ugh, i feel so bad for her. i cant believe someone as positive as her could be corrupted by the horrorterrors. one moment, she's the only one preventing a trollnazi and a doomsday lusus from destroying the shit out of everything, and suddenly shes twisting squibbles into cthulhu. "dont you get it, im dead," baller fucking quote but im so sorry girl. she has always been someone who is resigned of the fate of everything, but she never stops trying to make the best of it, unlike aradia.

-Also, why is equius so horny all the time? my god he is so fucking rapey.

-terezi!!! terezi!!! she's my favorite troll. her friendship with dave is so adorable. i like how they start out as enemies mocking each other but end up as (shitty) art buddies. but man, she is just as extreme in her trolling effort like, she did kill john in a timeline. anyway, back to dave and terezi. they both think theyre so cool but theyre actually cringe. also, is the drawing of the guy above the his tyranny writing in her room, meant to be karkat? ugh, i wish im her.

-i dont have much to say over sollux but as a gemini, he has the coolest design. literally the coolest shade ever. twin signs represent!

-karkat is... *grits teeth* self recognition through the other (derogatory). i hate that i shared his classpect. he ruined an objectively awesome title just by being himself. but i never really know what kind of guy he is, just his notoriousness as a grumpy anime boy slash tumblr sexyman. i hate him even more after knowing him btw, because he really is just like me! on the surface, he's just a 13 year old version of jean vicquemare from disco elysium. but seeing his memos, seeing his... everything. oh my god. i hate myself. his constant bitching is my inner voice everytime i have to deal with [redacted] and [redacted]. only that im now old enough to know i shouldnt unleash that to everyone indiscriminately. also, i too did the future writing thing. like, i would actually look at my old diary entries, and wrote a response as if speaking to my past self. but, is it weird that seeing him makes me a bit more confident in my own leadership skills? I dont know. anyway, he's funny. god even him just living his life and breathing is hilarious. i want to see you suffer little man (not in a whump way i want to see him get mad, eat shit, and react to ridiculous shit)

-JADE!!!! i miss her a lot. finally she's in the game. she's one of the nicest and the coolest of the beta kids. and i envy her house a lot. im sick of her being out of the loop. also, just from her science alone, she's pretty OP. she dont need powers to defeat the imps. she's very much my favorite out of the beta kids

-i cannot believe dave resorts to ruining the stock market. he would have liked nfts. cant believe that plotline exists and it was actually an elaborate troll plot. i cant wait to see him blossom to his cool future selves. caw caw motherfucker was impressive as hell despite being ridiculous. i have no idea how his sprite make that cool. also, his bro's dead? its kinda sad. like, i know the training and the smuppet shit wasnt exactly healthy and sane but, its still a tragedy that he never really get the chance to understand his parent or get closure. bro's dead. thats it.

[starsofthestorm]

guh this was supposed to be a quick warmup and it was NOT

fandom opinion stuff !!!!!

notes abt why and blank template below the cut

Favorite character - I've just always loved Rivulet. Even before I realized I WAS riv, ive always just. loved him. i love how fast-paced the campaign is, i love the story, i love the colors and mechanics and design and just. all of it !!!!!

Liked by everyone but me - i just cant really understand a lot of the fandom's love for artificer. like i dont hate arti at all but i just dont understand all of the love. to me, artificer is someone trapped in that pure fury who simply could not let go of it, regardless of how hard they may have tried to break out of it. i think that it should be highlighted more in the fandom and thats actually what im trying to change about my own rain world au- i want to highlight that fury, that grief, that pure hatred mixed with the confusion of what to do, and how even once theyve calmed down from that fury, that it can be reignited in an instant from anything that reminds them of the death of their pups, the toll scavengers, ect.

Didn't like at first - i just thought monk was boring tbh. As ive played rain world for longer and longer ive realized that monk is incredibly brave and fascinating

Would like to know more about - always been curious about nightcat and i am even MORE curious now bc of the announcement of the Watcher !!!!!!

Least Favorite Character - again, i just. i cant stand how the fandom sees arti exclusively as someone to be sympathetic for and someone to be redeemed without any of that lasting guilt and fury. kinda just ruined them for me. i do love their campaign though

Like the design, dislike (Campaign) - i literally LOVE gourm ok. i love just how much can be done with their character, i love how theyre presented in game as that kind colony member who braved a new, unknown area to benefit their family, their colony, everyone they care about and love. i just hate the exhaust mechanic and i found the food quest to just be boring and unnessecarily long and tedious

Like the campaign, dislike design - by this i mean more like. just how hunter was shown in game. i really liked the story but i feel like we just werent given enough. what were they like before leaving nsh? what were they like before the rot or before the rot began to seriously affect them? how many other iterators knew about hunter? how old even were they when they began their mission? and dont get me started on the ending i wish there was more than just the one end scene art, i wish we knew more about hunter and nsh's relationship

Similar personality - guys i kin rivulet i have always seem him acting like how i do and vice versa sorry this ones a bit boring of an answer

Fav ships - i love you puffball. i love you deepsea. my favorites ever <33

Least fav ship - this isnt personal to anyone and no hate to anybody who enjoys monk ships, i just cant see them as anything other than a pup so monk ships are just uncomfortable for me to see

would befriend irl - no joke. any of them tbh. potentially artificer but probably not just because of how that kind of grief and anger can affect people, im not sure if arti would be able to make friends with others. also the slug i drew is my slugsona, the lizardtamer <3

would never befriend irl - arti for the reasons listed aboveeee

yeah :333 heres the template !!!

[faelapis]

jokes and memes aside, i used to be in the fnaf fandom. i actually do think that as weird and campy as that whole lore is, there is a way to convert it into a half-decent movie.

unfortunately, that's not what we got.

the movie that we got is just… doing wayyyy too much. the reveal with the missing kids isnt that interesting, because we havent spent enough time with the animatronics. we're not scared of them, so its not a shock to find out theyre actually kids. i think you need like a full movie of them being scary monsters to make the kids reveal effective. this movie is just trying so, so hard to do the Whole fnaf lore in one movie that we dont get any time for emotional investment. or fun. or scares. or anything exciting.

if you really wanted to get people invested in "the fnaf universe" from this movie, i think you should do one of two things. either:

A) keep it simple, stupid. we stay contained to the stuff thats in the first game. so no springtrap or purple guy. its just these creepy animatronics as the villains. the protagonist is just a security guard trying to survive. we feel trapped in the pizzeria building, so they're like a real threat. we stay mostly in that location. we dont learn that theyre tragic kids until a potential sequel. its a straightforward creepy horror movie with fun 80s aesthetics - an overall campy romp with some hidden depth if you know what to look for. "classic" fnaf.

OR

B) you go all-in on the lore and drama. we take it out of the era of the first game and set it in the original missing kids story. perhaps from the POV of one of william afton (purple guy)'s kids, like vanessa is in this movie. only this time, thats the MAIN focus.

the protagonist loves their dad but is also torn. maybe feels complicit and wants to do something about this. lots of scenes between william and his kids, lots of tragic love and manipulation. give william SOME depth. you don't have to make him sympathetic, but he needs some kind of motivation to be a compelling villain. you can make it deranged! maybe hes crazy but has some kind of grand vision or religious beliefs fueled by seeing himself as a supergenius. maybe he thinks he loves his kids and that this whole restaurant business is for "their sake", but really, he's fueled by ego. set up this kind of tragic story where michael / whichever kid is the protagonist decides they have to kill their own father.

and then of course, as the stinger, when you think william's dead - he actually survives as springtrap. that's our sequel bait. then the NEXT movie can be set in the modern era.

the real movie is just... so contrived. mike schmidt has fuckall to do with the afton family here. he's not michael afton, he's just a random joe. he has nothing to do with the missing kids, he just "sees them in his dreams" for no reason.

again, that would be fine if it was just a gay horror romp. but trying to involve william afton and The Lore (tm) just falls completely flat. there is no investment built up, because all our time is spent with boring mike and his boring little sister. there is no triumph when the kids turn on william and defeat him together, because we barely know what happened. this weird addition that mike lost his brother at camp is just dumb. he's not even one of the animatronics!

i feel like maybe there was an earlier draft where mike WAS supposed to be revealed to be michael afton? he has these flashbacks with this perfectly idyllic family - this handsome, smiling dad with no lines who's just There. mike is implied to have this troubled history, i mean there's a reason he's raising his sister and not his parents.

yet when it comes to the big climax... william afton is just some random creep he doesn't know. just a weirdo yelling in a bunny suit, berating vanessa (his daughter) but completely unbothered by mike.

so like??? idk, it's a mess. i feel like this movie was written by fans with an extensive knowledge of The Lore, but with zero knowledge of like. basic setup and payoff when it comes to movies. or how to do emotional investment. or how to have fun with the wacky premise.

i hope the fnaf movie becomes the new standard-bearer of bad fanfic movies to replace 50 shades. nobody can act for shit. all the nonsensical cameos with no meaning to 99% of the audience. they made springtrap say his "i always come back" catchphrase in his FIRST appearance. incredible. iconic. the room-tier.

[my-lunaberg]

OKAYYYYYYYY okay, Im about to watch Tommys The Last Stream vod after I go for another quick walk, after that its just Tubbos stream which is probably just the same thing but from a different pov anyway, then its just the Syndicate End vod and then its just a two minute video of Ranboos end and then Im finally free. I really wish I could do this properly on my blog instead of having to do this in my notes app but I simply cannot wait another day. Im so hopped up on adrenaline rn i dont think I can sleep tonight, especially if I dont finally finish this. Also I have therapy tomorrow when Im writing this and I need to calm tf down before I show up at the therapists office all shaky n shit because of some minecraft roleplay. Its almost 6 pm rn and I shall be free of this nightmare before the clock strikes midnight. Amen.

*

Tubbitch boi

*

I dont even have anything to say man

*

This is so upsetting dude

*

I made it through these first 15 minutes with basically no pausing and I just wanted to take a moment to appreciate that bc I just know the second that joker starts talking to Dream I'll be pausing every 5 seconds

*

Why the fuck does the prison look like it was under water for like a decade and now theres just barnacles n shit growing on everythinh

*

YOU SPIN ME RIGHT ROUND BABEY RIGHT ROUND

*

DREAM

*

Alright I took two minutes to mentally prepare myself now Im ready for this

*

Wait why the fuck was he just hangin out in the main cell if he wasnt even expecting Tommy. weirdo behaviour

*

PUNZ IS THERE AS WELL??? WERE THEY HAVING A DATE IN THE TORTURE BOX

*

"IM READY TO FUCKING KILL THE BOTH OF YOU"

*long uncomfortable pause*

"Uhm... okay"

*

It looks like Tommy is doing a good job stalling them so far so Im very curious how it goes from this to the stuff Ive read spoilers about

*

Ouhhhhhh I wonder how hes gonna react to that dig at Spirittttttt.........

*

Okay, no like verbal ouward reaction but that is what got him to start attacking Tommy

*

I dont think Punz will care that Tommy tried to kill himself bc of Dream, I think hed find that kinda hot

*

"The world doesnt fucking revolve around you"??? Bro Punz Boomer arc??? "Those darn zoomers wanting compassion and kindness after almost killing themselves

*

"Youre insane to think everything revolves around you" hello?? says the guy who fancies himself a god and also thinks everyone but him and his boytoy deserve to die because theyre "simple-minded"

*

OH NO i completely forgot, the nuke is not gonna hit them. this is allpretty much pointless

DAMN YOU JACK MANIFOLD

*

Okay listen, Im a huge c!Dream sympathetizer and I know this is gonna end with him being presented in a sympathetic and pitiable light and Im gonna fall for it no matter what because of course I am but like, he has been so comically awful throughout this entire finale I am not expecting this to end in an actually satisfying way at all

*

Oh that sly dog got him monologuing

*

Girl help I dont remember pre-rp dsmp well enough to tell if Dream is embellishing shit and victimizing himself or not

*

OKAY dream smp from Dreams pov lets gooooooo

*

??? what.

*

Bro Dream is not in his right mind hes so far away from his right mind he might as well be chillin in lmoonberg that guy is so mentally ill (source: I have like atleast 90% of his mentall illnesses for sure)

*

what do you MEAN "know more"???

*

Maybe Im just a simple minded nihilist but why does that matter man. Why die so you can "know more" when you can live and have like, a party with your buddies

*

Honestly, I feel like Dreams motivations are so stupid at this point, like literally just make him someone who worships XD and is favoured by him or whatever and then also have him have this morbid curiosity about the stuff beyond the server and have him try and become god while appeasing his actual god in the hopes that he'll reveal his otherworldly knowledge to him or whatever idk man

*

Hows Dream gonna grow old with the people he loves when he doesnt have fucking friends HAH got im

*

No offense but why has most of this finale been Tommy philosophically waxing about how you should accept death even though all thats waiting for you on the other side is eternal torment with Dream responding by being like "but why though?? :(" when that has like, literally nothing to do with any of the Dream SMPs themes? Like, okay, theres been a ton of storylines obviously but the two main ones are definitely Tommy vs Dream (its essentially the throughline to all this bullshit) and Wilbur, Lmanberg and every single attempt at a country after that. Because of this I would say that the dsmps themes are Cycles of Violence and Legacy and when they intersect you occasionally get glimmers of this idea of History Repeating Itself.

The Legacy theme is insanely well executed, no notes, Im in love

The Cycles of Violence theme.... less so. I'll probably make a more detailed post about this in the future since I dont wanna waste too much time with this liveblog. But I personally think that if they wanted to pull this theme off while also making Dream sympathetic, he absolutely needed to be affected by the violence he inadvertently caused and the audience needs to actually see it in atleast one (1) scene that would be impossible to twist into something unsympathetic unless you were looking at it in bad faith. Dream being thrown in jail and subsequently physically tortured wouldve been a great opportunity for this kind of stuff like, I remember lurking in the fandom around this time, this was the point where plenty of people were starting to sympathize simply because of how inhumane the prison was. Like, if they werent gonna show him break a little in front of others for their perspectives, the least they couldve done was make like, a few short videos of Dream being alone, doing whatever, you wouldnt even need dialogue and then pepper those throughout the post-prison arcs. You could have one like two or three minute video right after Tommys visit where he maybe tries writing those stupid essays out of boredom before burning them and then some potatoes plop into the pool and you really get a sense for the emptyness and isolation of it. Another good one would be one showing how Quackity tortures him, or maybe one taking place right after one of the torture seassions with him starving and shaking and maybe trying to write a log or something but failing because everything hurts. Him being in the prison after hes escaped and made it his base again, watching it slowly decay and fall apart with him in it. They really dont have to be long, again, two or three minute videos wouldve done a lot of good here imo. And then you could also sprinkle in some monologues because as much as I like to make fun of the snake monologue in my head, it did give some much needed insight into Dreams perspective on all of this while making him a bit more sympathetic.

*

Honestly, Dream is making some pretty reasonable points here (if you completely disregard all the context of the entire dsmp but still) but like dude, you cannot go around calling your teenage nemesis a pest that such obvious villain behaviour dude

*

Im not gonna lie, i thought the very last final scene between Dream and Tommy would take place in a more, idk, intimate? place. Thats not the right word but whatever I cant think of anything else that fits. But like, they absolutely do not have a reason to leave so I guess this is just gonna continue with Tommy and Dream talking in this fucked up room of this fucked up prison while Punz is also right there

*

Okay, I just got to the bit where Tommy says 'Im sorry' to Dream and I know a lot of people were upset by that bc they took it as him apologizing to his abusers for being 'abuse-worthy' if you wanna phrase it like that and thats not what I got from that at all. Like, its technically part of a very earnest emotional statement so his tone was kinda soft and apologetic but it really came across as an 'Im sorry you feel that way' kind of apology to me

*

BRUH HE JUST KILLED HIM??? WHAT

*

What the fuck is happening now

*

Is this hell.

*

NO ITS THE EARLY DREAM TEAM STREAMS THIS TRULY IS HELL

*

Oh my god please tell me this wont go on for much longer I already watched like 30 hours of these boring ass guys dicking around back in late 2020 i cannot take a second more

*

Bro why did they pick the part of the stream thats just Dream trying to figure out his fucking minecraft settings for this this isnt doing anything

*

Please bring me back I dont wanna watch this boring shit

*

What is ahppening

*

Okay they revived him, are they gonna explain why his afterlife hell is just him watching the most boring minecraft streams on planet earth

*

"It doesnt matter if I get horrifically traumatized because I'll just live forever :)"

*

Okay I think Im starting to understand Dreams motivations here a bit more and they make more sense but its like, if you care so much about eliminating suffering why did you go out of your way to torment Tommy like that in exile. Like, i know its because you did want him to be your friend at some point and maybe you still do but you didnt like how he would never listen to you so you figured itd be better to just break him down mentally but like, I dont think that would be necessary for the long term goal of eliminating all death and suffering at all so, what

*

Dude, he was not happy he was adjusting his minecraft settings

*

What if he just started sobbed. Hes all smug like "well, im happy now :)" and then the dam jist breaks. wouldnt that be grand

*

Hes fucking psychoanalyzing the green bitch this rules

*

Im sorry man I was not envisioning this emotional final scene to be accompanied by Punz occasionally saying some bullshit in the background

*

"George and Sapnap are still here" uh no, George literally isnt and last time we saw Sapnap he was making a deal with God to sacrifice his own life and afterlife to ensure that Dream would die and stay dead forever

*

Oughhhhhhh this is great I can practically smell the insecurity coming off of him rn

*

Oh god why is Tommy being like "you just wanted things to be simple [like they were in the past]" giving me a more complete understanding of myself as well this sucks I dont wanna be a c!Dream kinnie anymore >:(

*

I dont think Tommy is wrong about what hes saying abt Dream at all here and I think this is a smart angle to focus on for making Dream seem more sympathetic but right now I definitely feel like its missing the crucial element of "yes, Dream just wants friends, friends who will do what he wants with minimal resistance because hes a control freak" yknow? Like, his need for absolute control all the time is one of his most prominent traits and him wanting to gain some understanding and control of death and other things beyond his comprehension actually lines up quite nicely with that, its just kinda getting muddled with Dreams statements about wanting to make everything better. Granted, he probably wouldnt want to admit that his version of "making everything better" is just making everyone listen to him bc hes god basically but still, I think his control freakiness needs to get addressed more explicitly and maybe it will be, weve still hot a few minutes but ehhhhh. I doubt it

*

Honestly, ive grown to like Punz quite a bit eventhough he really hasnt done much but like, why the fuck is he here

*

I realize that the dialogue in dsmp is always overwhelmingly improv but its just so odd and kinda bad in this conversation. I think its because out of context, the way both Dream and Tommy are phrasing things makes it seem like they were on more equal footing and both suffered equally during their conflict when thats just not the case and Im not a fan

*

I think Ill tentatively take back all the stuff I said about how Dream shouldve been a worshipper of XD but i still think its a neat concept so I'll probably do something with that later

*

Oh god why did they do that crown, Dreams skin already looks bad and silly enough. Oh well I take solace in knowing that all the fanart of this scene probably slaps

*

OH I FORGOR ABOUT THE NUKES

*

Punz is still there is he gonna say anything about the nuke thats about to hit

*

Lookat these guys, never heard a nuke about to hit before

*

Ohhhhhhh I thought that previous 'sorry' was the one Ive seen people upset about, but Im pretty sure its actually this one

Honestly, I still dont see why you would be upset about it outside of the fact that it is an abuse victim apologizing to his abuser but its like, idk man. I dont think a piece of media featuring a scene where that happens within a very specific context is doing abuse apologism, although I guess a lot of people would argue that the fact that Tommy is even reaching out to Dream after everything he did is abuse apologism and. Im not even gonna try to argue with them. I'll just say that I disagree and try to explain my perspective in some amount of detail, this will get pretty personal though, so watch out:

I was recently semi-diagnosed with a personality disorder and i probably have a bunch of other bullshit going on as well and not to armchair diagnose a fictional character but c!Dream definitely has that personality disorder and whatever other shit thats hiding inside my weird brain. His irrational, defensive thought processes, his contradictionary wants, his persistent need for control, his detached nature, his manipulation, the way he uses actual emotional pain as a tool for manipulation while keeping that pain at an arms length, even his weird monotone way of speaking, I relate to all of it. I have seen and related to a lot of mentally ill and neurodivergent and neurodivergent-coded characters and I have never felt as seen as now. He embodies my worst qualities turned up a few notches to make them even worse and then he has a weird god complex on top of all of that and yet, he still ends up being given sympathy, someone tries to understand him and offers him help. And idk, that just means a lot to me so I look at this whole thing a bit differently.

Also, while I get why some people are upset and I get peoples desire to critize this from a Doylist perspective because real people came up with this story in real life and that still has implications, even when the line between fiction and reality is thick enough to be considered a wall, from a Watsonian in-universe perspective its like, Dream is not a bad person for accepting help (or trying to accept help) when its being freely offered to him

*

Okay wait but if the nuke still hit the prison and blew everything to shit what the hell did Jack do when he rewired the redstone at the launch thingy. Is the prison that close to the main smp I dont remember

*

Oh man this is gonna take a hot second huh

*

Okay we're back in Minecraft, Tommys punching a tree

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I hate the fact that Tommy doesnt atleast punch the entire tree down before making a crafting table

*

OKAY IT IS DONE

I was gonna finish the whole series today but its almost 11pm and I a sleepy gal so i'll watch Tubbos pov tomorrow and the Syndicate vod and all that and also I'll probably give my thoughts on the ending in more detail after that. Right now I dont think I cant bare to write any more man, I just wrote like three or four decently detailed (for me) analyses about fucking bullshit basically in a row, my head literally hurts

So yeah, goodnight I'll be hopefully posting all of these posts tomorrow and I'll hopefully be peoperly liveblogging everything again