sacredfang

[sacredfang]

Hello! I’ve been making a game and wanted to make a character with npd to mix up the character dynamics. The thing is, as you probably know, npd is so stigmatized, which means it’s literally impossible for me to research. So, if possible, I would like to hear some of your experiences with npd (how it makes you think and behave, that type of thing). If you don’t want to answer, feel free to ignore this.

its kind of hard to explain but i can try my best QvQ!

its pretty self explanatory! i do objectively tend to think i am above people when first meeting them. the only people i truly feel are my equals are my very good friends and partners! bit beyond that, even other friends im not as close with, i believe i, and my friends, are better then them. not even necessarily in a malicious way. its subconscious

i do get envious and jealous quite frequently. over someone elses success, their talent, their clothes, or even them getting the attention from someone I want that attention from. obviously it can range, but jealously is fairly prominent in my life. however i usually dont let it impact how i act and treat others. im aware a lot of my jealously is irrational so i dont let it guide me. i also HATE the fact i get jealous. like. im above jealously?? im too good for that??

i tend to believe i am the priority in peoples lives. that i deserve their #1 spot of love and admiration. im objectively very self centered. but despite this, i do attempt to put people i care about first. it may be first instinct to put myself first, but ive learned that in some cases its important to give others more attention, especially if i truly care about them.

punches to the ego are never fun. even small comments that arent meant to be taken seriously could feel like a personal attack. like someone just offended my entire bloodline. especially when it comes to losing a game or an argument. ive found that when people insult my sense of morality it can easily cause me to crash. a lot of my pride is put into being a good person, its what makes me so confident im as good as i am! so when someone implies or even directly states they think i was in the wrong or that im not a good person, i loose my marbles. specifically when i believe im in the right. if i can see a mistake and agree i did something wrong thats different, but when i think my slate is clean, i take full offense to those accusations. i ESPECIALLY cant stand being spoken down to or patronized. that shit drives me INSANE

i also hate being wrong. or proven wrong. or people acting like im wrong. it makes me want to claw a wall. this also applies to positive things! like, for example, if i tell my friend i think theyre pretty and awesome, and they deny it, i get PISSED. like. are you telling me im WRONG? YOURE BEAUTIFUL

and of course i struggle with empathy. i can be compassionate, caring, kind, and sympathetic, but empthy is out the window. i struggle to connect with certain troubles or feelings someone is facing because i cant ever understand how they feel in that moment. objectively, i could understand why they are upset, but i can not relate to those emotions. an internal reaction i often have is thinking theyre over reacting, or that they need to suck it up. even if i know thats not really true.

overall, im very self centered. im low empathy, quickly irritable, i hate being vulnerable, i yearn for admiration, i dont like being looked down, i tend to talk over others, jealous easily, overconfident, fantasize about power and sucess, believe im special, im pretty, who wouldnt love me? and when my sense of pride is hit, i crumble. its easy to split on someone if they are apart of it, even accidentally. and grudges are upsettingly frequent aswell

i try to be private about my personal life. i hate when people know too mucu about me. what if they used it against me? what if they think im weaker than i am? or the ideal version of myself ive created to be viewed is shattered?

however i can be very open and affectionate to my friends and partners (the fear above is still ever present though) the only person i trust fully with my feelings is my best friend who Also probably has npd. so. but i HATE pda.. unless its me. im allowed to do it. but if anyone else does it im fully of hate

i can love. i can kiss i can hold with ease, but when i love it feels suffocating. i feel like i need to tear my partner open and make him hurt just so he knows how much i love him. existing without him is like being deprived of air. he is my equal and he is everything. and i dont want him to treat anyone else like he does me, becuase i am HIS partner and he is MINE. no one else gets that treatement. im downright obsessivive lowkey (highkey)

i also struggle to fathom the concept of people disliking me. if they dislike me then fuck i dislike them too! tf! they can go die!

in the past ive had a few cases of demonizing people to give myself a reason to dislike them or to ditch them. especially after theyve upset me. these days im pretty good at communicating when im upset and fix it, but when i was younger i would just place the blame on their shoulders and book it. not my proudest era

ive learned to handle these traits fairly well with common sense and consideration. i may not have empathy but i still care about being a good person. so even when its instinct to think one way, i force myself to rationalize. to go "Well. No actually you arent the most important person in the world. idiot." so i can keep my shit together lmfao. i care too much about people (and my morals) to let myself fall into my urges and irrational thoughts. i always do my best to approach criticism with an open mind, and id say i do pretty well at it!

ive also found that due to this, i get really anxious at the idea of people being aware of my npd. being aware that i think this way. knowing that they very well could change their opinions of me based off this one fact. its freaky as hell

im sorry if this doesnt make a lot of sense. im the worst lol

[sacredfang]

i got 2 followers on this account. my boyfriend and my bitch

[sacredfang]

a pocket stone from my sis for healing🪽

[sacredfang]

i love all haunted/creepy dolls !! i love all of my scarier sisters/brothers/siblings <33

[sacredfang]

be my bbm baby. ♡

[sacredfang]

normally when my friends poke fun at my npd i find it pretty funny. but sometimes they dig on it and it makes me feel like their perception of me has changed since learning i was a narcissist :( owie

[sacredfang]

I’ve seen a lot of creatures talking about things such as animalistic urges of violence (Like tearing flesh and crunching bone, etc.)

I can relate to some extent. But In a different way- a completely non negative way- in fact, in a healing way, even though that’s completely backwards in.. well, science and existence. I need to remake, improve, and heal something. My means may seem unconventional- but completely painless.

I could and would rearrange a mortals very atoms, if they wanted me to. In a loving way.

[sacredfang]

angelkin and npd is a despicable combination .

[sacredfang]

[sacredfang]

pwNPD, how we feeling about this one

[sacredfang]

"The world doesn't revolve around you!"

The narcissist was too crashed to speak

[sacredfang]

[sacredfang]

[sacredfang]

🩸🧛🏻‍♀️ I wanna see your cheeks glow red, red, red . . 🧛🏻‍♀️🩸

[sacredfang]

angels have fangs. so. yeah.

[sacredfang]

Me because my friends have a life and can't give me attention & compliments whenever I want them to

[sacredfang]

struggling with empathy as someone with npd is really difficult. i care a lot about my friends and partners and i care about how they feel, and i care if i upset them. but good god do i struggle to understand

i can reconize when i mess up and i can own up to it. but that doesnt mean i GET it. even if theyre just a little upset and bring it to my attention, im happy to take the criticism and i objectively GET why theyre upset. but at the same time my brain goes, "seriously? youre upset about this? get over it dude"

its insensitive to them. and i DO care about how they feel. like of course i care i made you upset but why are you even upset by this thing in the first place ?? its not that serious

like ill be there 4 u however little question marks will be spinning around my head as i do so