#and how that affects a person's mental capabilities

[httpskuzuu]

L”m so happy your back! I would like a request a yandere! Pm Dazai (18 yrs old) with a darling who’s naïve and innocent (of course he kidnaps them) how would he react to a such pure person! Thank you for taking this request.

Yandere!PM!Dazai with a naive and innocent reader

This is the first time I write for PM!Dazai (and I do headcanons), don't kill me

Yandere!PM!Dazai x Reader

Idk english, I don't like english, let me

summary: the title :D

tw: kidnapping, corruption of innocence, stalking, death (not reader or Dazai), physical and psychological abuse, maybe something else but idk

Honestly, I don't know how you got into this situation.

I can only think of two options as to how you ended up getting his attention: Dazai was looking for someone like you or you just surprised him.

With the first option, I guess he wanted to get away momentarily from everything he had known in his life, get someone who wasn't as fucked up as he was.

Or you just came unexpectedly into his life, maybe you got involved in one of his missions without having any idea.

Either way, Dazai was dazzled by your innocence.

You are the opposite of him and he wants to keep it that way, he knows what this world is capable of doing to pure souls like yours and he is not going to allow that.

First he won your trust, it was easy, you trusted everyone too fast, you didn't even doubt him in spite of his strange attitude that didn't let you see beyond him.

You never realized the danger in front of your eyes and that only made Dazai adore you more.

He would know every little part of your life, the names of all your friends and the places you go to, he always has an eye on you.

He would keep your friends and family away from you, he's not afraid to kill, threaten or torture others for that purpose.

Deep down, all he wants to do is to corrupt you.

He wants to be the one to destroy your innocence, to show you the cruelty of the world, even if it is contradictory to his initial purpose.

Maybe that's the reason he kidnapped you.

And oh god, that's when the real fun begins.

He doesn't care about your opinion, not in the slightest, and punishments are just around the corner.

Forced affection would be a normal thing, he sees you as a kind of safe place where he can be a bit more vulnerable, just a bit 🤏

Still, I doubt he would ever let you see his true feelings.

That would only be way down the road in your relationship, when Dazai can have complete confidence that you'll never escape.

Yandere!Dazai is not easy, least of all if he's PM Dazai, but your attitude would make it somewhat more tolerable.

Being such a naive little thing, he can trust you more easily.

Plus you're terrified of him, so you don't even think about running away.

But if you were to try… Well, remember what I said about punishments being just around the corner? Then get ready for torture.

Breaking bones, beating you unconscious, isolating you for days, starving and thirsting you, etc.

Although he usually mistreats you as well, it's all more psychological.

He wants to make you see the evil, to see you break and cry.

Makes him have a mix between sadistic joy and regret.

He really feels very guilty for everything he does, for seeing you in such a broken state.

He would never tell you, the closest you get to that would be a strangely silent Dazai cuddling like a koala bear to you.

I hope you have enough mental stamina to endure your stay with Dazai

Oh, and if he sees that he's broken you until there's nothing left of the original you or that all your innocence is gone, maybe he'll kill you because he's bored 😀

The image of your friend would not leave your head. He was immobile, cold, dead.

It was the first time you saw a corpse in real life, it made your blood run cold. Especially because you saw him die and you couldn't do anything about it.

Dazai killed him, after many hours of torture, one shot in his head and his screams stopped. You saw the blood spill on the floor along with pieces of flesh. You did not vomit because of the absence of food in your stomach, but the nausea was there.

He wouldn't let you take your eyes off him, even when he was torturing him. When his fingernails were being pulled out and his skin was burning. You had to keep watching or the torture would transfer to you.

You couldn't save him. Your throat was torn from screaming, but he was still dead. Would his corpse still be in that dark warehouse? Would that be his grave? At least you would have liked to have been able to give him a proper funeral, not abandon him.

You didn't understand how someone could be as evil as Dazai was. Your friend did nothing, he just worried about your disappearance. Now, because of you, he too would become a missing person.

The tears were still wet when an extra weight was placed on the bed. You refused to move, afraid that he would take you back to continue seeing those horrible things, things you can't even describe without breaking down in tears.

He lies behind you and wraps his arms around you, his hands that caused so many murders gently holding your body.

You never thought before that the perpetrators of these acts could be ordinary people, people you would trust and befriend. But they could be, the proof of that was Dazai, someone too young to be killing.

You are conflicted by the situation, you empathize with Dazai. You want to understand him and know what led him to be the way he is today, try to justify him, but he killed your friend. The dilemma of whether he deserved a forgiveness eats at you inside. Could his actions be justified by his past? Maybe Dazai is just a victim like you.

Be that as it may, apparently you still have time to think because he doesn't plan to let you go anytime soon.

I am sleep deprived

[actual-exhusbands]

I think I'd like a mix of all options:

Aaron starts a relationship with someone before Robert returns. Both Aaron and his bf are happy together. After a few months Robert is released and moves into Vic's. Robert has developed agoraphobia so stays in the house all the time. Vic is nervous to update Aaron so keeps Robert a secret. Eventually, Aaron needs to nip into Vic's home for something only to discover his ex-husband. Whilst stunned, Aaron walks straight back out saying nothing. He marches back to his flat and lets his silence turn to anger and he stews before confronting Victoria. Hours later, his new boyfriend pops by for a visit but before Aaron could invite him in he spots Vic over his bf's shoulder walking home from work. He shoves his way out of his porch and makes a beeline for Vic. He starts yelling after her making all sorts of claims out of his fury. Robert, from the safety of Vic's cottage peeks out from a curtain to see what all the noise is. He sees Aaron shouting abuse and, for the first time since returning to the village, steps out into the main street for all to see.

Aaron turns his aggression towards Robert. Aaron starts to accuse Robert of being a liar and a cold blooded murderer thinking his words will cut Robert deep like Robert's desertion did to him 5 years ago. Robert becomes aware of the villagers who are watching from the other side of the street. Terrified to attempt to defend himself. He spots Wendy and is suddenly filled with utmost guilt. Unfortunately, Roberts silence only heightens Aaron's rage. Before he could say anything, Aaron charges at Robert and tackles him to the ground. Aaron is now pinning Robert down whilst screaming all his emotions out; tears streaming down his face. A large audience has now formed The Dingles all exchange glances and looks of concern towards each other. Moments later, Aaron's boyfriend tries to break them apart with the help from Vic but to no avail. Chas and Moira shoot a sharp look towards Cain and eye him to go help break it up, too. Against his own judgement, Cain grabs Aaron by the scruff of the neck and drags him back to his flat. Paddy and Chas chase the rest of the crowd away as Vic helps Robert to his feet and chaperones him back into her cottage.

Weeks go by and Aaron refuses to make eye contact with Robert. He never once acknowledges Robert's presence. He doesn't want Robert to think he still cares. During this period he emphasises all romantic gestures with his boyfriend if Robert is in eyesight. However, Robert fails to take much notice as he's too concerned over the residents thoughts in regards to him living back in the village. The weeks turn to months and Robert's anxiety only grows as the days go by. Vic tries to help her brother by encouraging him out for a drink in the woolpack. Reluctantly, Robert agrees to go with her. They perch themselves by the bar closest to the door (so Robert can make a quick getaway), however, there is a stag do in full swing by the time they arrive and Aaron is a guest of the party as his boyfriend is the best man. Robert swivels around so quickly he nearly gives himself whiplash but Vic clutches on to his forearm preventing him from making an escape. Aaron's face turns to thunder as he enforced his attention away from Vic and Robert. His boyfriend is having too much fun to even notice the sudden change in Aaron's demeanor. Robert being fully aware of his ex husband being merely inches from him set his nerves off. Victoria made failed attempts to ease him by saying "it can't get any worse than this". Of course it then did get much worse.

At that exact moment Wendy and Bob walked into The Woolpack for a drink. It didn't take long for Wendy to loudly announce passive aggressive comments directed towards Robert to the whole pub. She stretched as far as to link Heath's death with her own son's death. Victoria was stuck in-between a rock and a hard place. She loves her brother but doesn't want to push Harry's grandmother away. Obviously all shots of mediation were ignored by Wendy and Bob and most of the new residents sided with them because of all the horror stories that were spread around about Robert. All of the chaos was increasing Robert's anxiety and he became more uncomfortable by the second. His nerves were shot. He couldn't concentrate on anything that Victoria was saying. The only thing that seemed to stabilise his mental stat was the sight of Aaron. Of course by this point every one in the room was staring at Robert, including Aaron. They locked eyes at each other for only a moment before Aaron dragged his eyes away to the beer mat on the table. That moment created peace in Robert's mind. The crash. Charity has dropped a glass but that sudden sound pushed Robert back over the edge. He darted for the door and escaped into the darkness. Victoria now found the courage to defend her brother against Wendy and the rest of the pub and shamed the stag do members. Pointing directly at each person to force guilt upon them. One person was missing from the party though. Aaron.

Amidst the pandemonium in The Woolpack, no one had noticed Aaron sneaking out the back of the pub to chase after Robert. Against all better judgement, he wanted to check on Robert. That shared glance sparked something in him. He just knew something wasn't right with Robert. After all, Robert never shied away from confrontation. He thrives in it. The opportunity to outsmart someone gave him a buzz. The Robert he knew would stand his ground and argue his case across until he won. The Robert in the pub wasn't his Robert.

Aaron knocked at Vic's home but there was no answer. There were no signs of life at all. He next ran down by the B&B to see if Robert was seeking refuge with Eric but there was no luck. He next searches the garage but stumbles upon Mac instead locking up for the night. Mac is about to ask Aaron how he's holding up but before he could get the question out Aaron runs off in the direction of Vanessa's. She was the only other person in the village to stand by Robert's return. He was hoping she would be hiding him from the entourage in the pub but, again, with no luck. Aaron is starting to get desperate. His concern quickly turned to uneasiness. He was starting to properly worry about Robert. He was rattling his brain for places he might be. His next bet was the cemetery. Aaron hated visiting there. Ghosts from his past were all buried there. All the ghosts he cared about that is. He sprinted down towards the church and jumped over the short wall. Scanned every corner with no Robert in sight. His eyes did fall onto one gravestone. Liv's. Suddenly, one memory of all three of them flooded his mind. That gave him an idea.

He scampered his way out of the cemetery and down the road until he got to the back of The mill. He followed a winding path that led to an opening of woodland. As he neared the opening he saw a shadow. An outline of someone. His speed slowed as he approached with caution. The closer he got the clearer the silhouette became. It was Robert. He was leaning on the handrail of the footbridge. The same footbridge Robert had embraced him on many a time in the past. The same footbridge the two would throw stones from with Seb. Robert looked deflated. There was no energy in him whatsoever. He looked like a bare copy of himself. This vulnerability tore down what was left of the little wall Aaron had built for himself to keep Robert out. Despite all the heartbreak and misery he had endured at the hands of Roberts actions here he was again. Willing to fall back into old habits but how could he stop himself?

Robert was blindly staring at his reflection in the stream. He failed to hear the approaching footsteps of Aaron. Gently, Aaron crossed his forearms and rested them on the same handrail inches next to Robert. He slowly peered over the edge and nestled his chin into his arms. Aaron gazed into Robert's eyes in the stream. Robert slowly scanned over to Aaron's reflection. Feeling that serenity brush over him once again at the mere glimpse of Aaron. Robert caught himself off guard by how hastily he confessed his anxiety about being back in the village. How he was sorry for how he ended their marriage. How he hated that he missed Liv's funeral. How he hates how quickly he threw his life away for one bad decision.

Robert sobs harder and harder for every admittance of all of his regrets and surrenders himself to his grief. Without any hesitation he lets slip the trauma he suffered whilst in prison. Knowing how hard life was for him when he was jailed away, Aaron throws one arm over Roberts shoulders and pulls him in closer. For the first time, Robert welcomes the physical embrace. They both relaxed into one another. They both clearly needed it. They both remain on the bridge quietly enjoying the stream shimmer in the moonlight.

After a while, Aaron and Robert break apart and gaze into each other's eyes. Robert opens his mouth to speak before Aaron interrupts him. "I told you I'd wait". Aaron spoke those words as though they were the magic key to freeing Robert. Relief fell upon Robert as though the heaviest weight had been lifted. He could breathe for the first time again. "Yeah?" Robert sighed with a slight smile stretching the corner of his mouth as his eyes glisten with hope. Aaron's face softens as he mimics Robert's expression. Without any hesitation or consideration Aaron leans in and kisses Robert. Hearts start to flutter but Robert jolts back pulling away from the kiss. They both stare towards each other before Robert returns his focus to the stream. Reality kicks in for him. "Don't!" Roberts whispers. A tear falling down his cheek. Robert doesn't feel worthy of Aaron's attention. He believes Aaron is better off without him. Everyone is better off without him. Robert turns his back to Aaron but before Robert can walk off Aaron grabs his arm "You can't keep walking out on me like that, Robert". Those very words killed the fluttering instantly. There was a sinking feeling like guilt was an anchor tied to his heart pulling it down. Aaron continued, "I know how hard it must've been in there but I would've stuck by you regardless. Helped you through it. I was willing to wait the whole 14 years because you were worth it. You are worth it." Aaron bit his lip as he realised what he'd just admitted out loud. The feelings he had been trying to compress. Robert, confused by Aaron's confession, stood teary eyed looking back at the man he so adored and yearned for feeling defeated. "But I'm not. I mean, I can't even step out the front door without fear of having a panic attack." Aaron remained baffled by this statement. How can Robert believe that? After everything. Aaron reaches out for Roberts arm and tilts his head ever so slightly that it draws Robert's stare back onto him. "You are to me". The words echoing those Robert once used for him. Robert also remembered the relevance of those specic words. Robert instinctively glanced down at Aaron's lips and back to his eyes. That was enough for Aaron to lean for a second kiss.

This time Robert kisses back and suddenly it's like they haven't been apart for the past 5 years. They fell back into their own natural rhythm with their bodies matching the other as they smoothly swayed from side to side. Aaron's hands travel to Robert's back holding him close as Roberts holds Aaron's face in his. Reluctantly, they pull away from each other only to rest their foreheads against one another. Aaron pulls his hands away from Roberts waist and traces his physique as they glide upwards his sides and across his chest. He lightly strokes down Roberts arms as he finds his hands, which are still cupping either side of Aaron's face, to take in his. They entwine their fingers as they relax their arms down by their sides. Foreheads still resting against one another fearing to break apart. Both wish to stay in this moment forever.

Thus, starting their second affair-era as Aaron will inevitably listen to his family who think getting back with Robert is a bad idea so will be guilt tripped into staying with this new boyfriend but will continue to rather seek out Robert for any true romantic connections.

Thank you. I am Eve and this has been my TED Talk.

Another poll, this time from Aaron's perspective!

I want to know how everyone feels! And please, there is no need to comment on whether Aaron would ever cheat or not, if you don't think that or want it, just choose another option 🙂 This is just for fun!

Reblog for wider spread if you fancy...

[minorfamilysupremacy]

disabled vegas is the most important vegas to me.

[nightfallsystem]

u guys ever think about killing urself for everyone elses sake.

just so people wont have to go thru the annoyance of talking to me or the disgust of seeing my face so they can be happier by talking to their other friends instead of me so they dont have to deal with my actual fucking stupidity

[vanillesprincess]

how to fix being "ugly" once and for all

hello loves! I have just discovered Mae Alice Suzuki's youtube channel and I fear it is already changing my life!

I was watching her video and I decided to take a few notes so that I could make a blog post and read her tips whenever I needed it + share them

In the video, Mae explains how to stop being "ugly", and become a more beautiful person. Being "ugly" is not only about physical looks. First of all, I personally believe no one is actually ugly, but everyone has the potential, the right and the capability of reaching the best version of themselves!

Being "ugly" is about not feeling beautiful mentally, and it affects our physical body, environment and behavior. If you hate yourself, hate other people, engage in useless drama and you're always complaining about life and others, this might be for you.

Dear, you have to realize than if instead of improving yourself, you keep hating others... this is going against you. Beautiful people have a beautiful personality, first of all. This is what makes them beautiful.

the body attracts and reflects the ugly vibes, desperation, hatred you put out in the world

if you are convinced that you are ugly, you're realizing that assumption. this is no magic: if you're convinced of it, you probably will never even consider yourself potentially beautiful, you won't consider your body worthy of care, and you will never improve

So... time to change!

In order to change reality, you need to change your thoughts, which will help changing your habits.

Change your "I AM" mindset and speech: don't absorb negative energy of others and do not put out negative energy

Branding yourself as beautiful: you are BEAUTIFUL. own it. most people are not born ugly or beautiful, but people "brand" themselves as ugly or beautiful. believe you're beautiful and ACT LIKE IT!

Caring about yourself: this involves hygiene, diet. it's easy and simple. this is the basis

Own your natural self: think that you're beautiful, own it, and you will become beautiful without implementing unnatural change that is not authentic for you. being unnatural means you are insecure and afraid of yourself. the beauty standards change all the time, so you only actually need to be authentic and take care of yourself. this also means you will naturally become confident

Understand what works best for you: a lot of people that are attractive don't appear like so because they do not know what works best for them, they wear whatever is trendy even when it doesn't make them feel good by reflecting their personal style. Use, consume and wear what makes you feel good + fits you

You just need to learn: learn how to put make up on in strategic points, learn your best angles for pics, what works best for your body and face shapes

most importantly, looks are not everything. if you are not attracted to yourself, doesn't mean that people don't find you pretty. you just need to appreciate yourself more, really!

[randomness-is-my-order]

while i’m on the topic, it is very hilarious and also very insightful that mxtx actually plainly tells us how anyone else except wei wuxian would have fared without their golden cores/spiritual powers by putting thousand-plus cultivators in exactly that situation during the second siege. the way they all absolutely lose their shit, fumble around, lose coherence of thought, see-saw between decisions and become, essentially, helpless and useless is eye-opening. hell, jiang cheng ends up so affected that jin ling is able to manhandle him into the cave. the cultivators from the biggest clans aren’t able to come up with anything to save their asses and it takes shizui to point out the array for them to even consider it as an option. if wei wuxian, lan wangji and the juniors weren’t there, sooooo many disciples would have lost their lives–simply because of how incompetent they collectively became once they lost their spiritual powers. if they made a coordinated effort, they could have still held the corpses off, but it’s just that... they weren’t able to, mentally, get past their sudden lack of powers. they were disoriented.

now, i’m not saying that this isn’t a normal reaction to have. it’s totally understandable how these people were huge messes, especially in such a high stakes situation. it is just that it puts into perspective how AWESOME wei wuxian is to have had his golden core cut out of him, voluntarily, then beaten within a micrometre of his life, then thrown straight into the hell on earth aka the burial mounds and then instead of succumbing instantly, he instead overcame these impossible circumstances and somehow, survived and found alternative powers to keep him going. that is nothing short of mind-boggling, awe-inspiring, jaw-dropping. not one person in that siege-laying populace would be able to accomplish that and it held some of the finest cultivators their world has to offer. because no one, other than wei wuxian, had the internal capabilities to build their strengths up from a source that wasn’t their spiritual powers. without their golden cores, they would be toast faster than a human within one kilometre of the sun’s radius. and i love love love how mxtx hits us with this fact in our faces in exactly the scenes that are all about undoing the falsehoods and allegations that wei wuxian, until then, had been levied with in the larger cultivation world’s perspective.

[kleopatra45]

Ascendant in the D9 Chart

The Navamsa chart, also known as the D9 chart, is a vital tool in Vedic astrology that delves into the deeper layers of your soul, your spiritual path, and especially your marriage and partnerships. The Ascendant (Lagna) in the Navamsa chart is crucial in understanding how you evolve over time, particularly in the context of your relationships. It reflects the qualities you develop in your marriage and how your personality matures.

Aries

With Aries as your Navamsa Ascendant, you approach marriage and long-term relationships with a sense of vigor and initiative. Aries brings a pioneering spirit, making you eager to lead and take charge within your partnership. You may have a dynamic, assertive approach to resolving issues, and you value independence within the marriage. The relationship is likely to be filled with excitement and action, as you prefer to keep things moving forward. Personal growth for you comes through developing courage, assertiveness, and learning to balance your own needs with those of your partner.

Taurus

A Taurus Navamsa Ascendant indicates that stability and sensuality are paramount in your marriage. You seek a relationship that provides comfort, security, and a sense of permanence. Taurus brings a nurturing, patient, and grounded energy, making you someone who values consistency and loyalty in your partner. You might express love through material support, affection, and creating a beautiful, harmonious home environment. This placement suggests a marriage that is likely to be steady and enduring, with both partners investing in the long-term well-being of the relationship. Personal growth comes through cultivating patience, resilience, and an appreciation for the finer things in life.

Gemini

With Gemini as your Navamsa Ascendant, communication is the cornerstone of your marriage. You crave intellectual stimulation and enjoy a relationship where ideas, thoughts, and conversations flow freely. Gemini brings a versatile and adaptable energy, making you open to changes and eager to explore different facets of your partnership. You’re likely to seek a partner who is curious, communicative, and capable of engaging you on a mental level. This placement can bring a lively, playful, and sometimes dual nature to the marriage, where both partners enjoy learning from each other. Growth in your relationship comes through embracing adaptability, effective communication, and maintaining a sense of curiosity.

Cancer

A Cancer Navamsa Ascendant suggests that emotional depth and nurturing are at the heart of your marriage. You seek a strong emotional connection with your partner, often playing a protective and caring role in the relationship. Cancer’s energy is deeply intuitive and compassionate, making you sensitive to your partner’s needs and feelings. You’re likely to create a home environment that is warm, secure, and filled with love. This placement often leads to a marriage where family and home life are central, with a focus on mutual support and emotional bonding. Personal growth comes through developing empathy, emotional resilience, and a deep sense of belonging within the relationship.

Leo

With Leo as your Navamsa Ascendant, you bring a sense of pride, passion, and generosity into your marriage. You seek a relationship where you can express your creativity, love, and leadership qualities. Leo’s energy is warm, enthusiastic, and often grand, making you someone who desires recognition and respect from your partner. You may take on a protective or guiding role in the relationship, ensuring that both you and your partner shine together. This placement suggests a marriage filled with love, loyalty, and shared joy, where both partners support each other’s growth and self-expression. Personal development comes through embracing your leadership qualities, cultivating generosity, and finding ways to share the spotlight in your relationship.

Virgo

A Virgo Navamsa Ascendant indicates that you approach marriage with a strong sense of duty, practicality, and a desire for improvement. You value order, cleanliness, and efficiency in your relationship, and you’re likely to be focused on making things better for both you and your partner. Virgo’s energy is analytical and service-oriented, making you attentive to the details of your marriage and keen on creating a harmonious and functional partnership. You may be drawn to a partner who shares your work ethic and desire for self-improvement. Personal growth in your marriage comes through learning to balance criticism with compassion, embracing imperfection, and finding joy in the little things.

Libra

With Libra as your Navamsa Ascendant, balance, harmony, and partnership are central to your marriage. You seek a relationship that is fair, equal, and filled with mutual respect and understanding. Libra’s energy is diplomatic, charming, and relationship-focused, making you someone who values cooperation and strives to maintain peace within the marriage. You’re likely to be a considerate partner who enjoys the social aspects of marriage, such as spending time together and engaging in shared activities. This placement suggests a marriage where both partners are invested in each other’s well-being and are willing to make compromises for the sake of harmony. Personal growth comes through cultivating balance, developing strong communication skills, and nurturing the bond of partnership.

Scorpio

A Scorpio Navamsa Ascendant indicates that your marriage is likely to be intense, transformative, and deeply emotional. You approach relationships with a sense of passion and a desire for profound connection. Scorpio’s energy is powerful, mysterious, and often driven by a need for emotional depth and intimacy. You may experience significant transformations within your marriage, where challenges lead to growth and a deeper understanding of each other. This placement suggests a relationship that is not afraid to confront difficult issues, with both partners evolving together through shared experiences. Personal growth comes through embracing vulnerability, developing trust, and navigating the complexities of emotional intimacy.

Sagittarius

With Sagittarius as your Navamsa Ascendant, you bring a sense of adventure, optimism, and exploration into your marriage. You seek a relationship that allows for personal growth, freedom, and shared experiences. Sagittarius’s energy is expansive, enthusiastic, and philosophical, making you someone who values intellectual and spiritual connection with your partner. You’re likely to be drawn to a relationship that encourages exploration, whether through travel, learning, or new experiences. This placement suggests a marriage where both partners inspire each other to grow and explore new horizons. Personal development comes through embracing optimism, fostering mutual growth, and maintaining a sense of adventure in the relationship.

Capricorn

A Capricorn Navamsa Ascendant indicates that you approach marriage with a sense of responsibility, discipline, and a long-term perspective. You value stability, structure, and commitment in your relationship, and you’re likely to be focused on building a secure and enduring partnership. Capricorn’s energy is ambitious, practical, and determined, making you someone who is willing to work hard to ensure the success of your marriage. You may be drawn to a partner who shares your goals and values, and who is equally committed to building a solid foundation together. Personal growth in your marriage comes through developing patience, embracing responsibility, and striving for mutual achievements.

Aquarius

With Aquarius as your Navamsa Ascendant, you bring a sense of uniqueness, intellectual connection, and humanitarian values into your marriage. You seek a relationship that is progressive, free-spirited, and built on a strong mental connection. Aquarius’s energy is innovative, unconventional, and often focused on the collective good, making you someone who values individuality and freedom within the partnership. You’re likely to be drawn to a partner who shares your ideals and is open to unconventional approaches to marriage. This placement suggests a relationship where both partners support each other’s independence and contribute to a shared vision. Personal growth comes through embracing innovation, fostering intellectual connection, and supporting each other’s individuality.

Pisces

A Pisces Navamsa Ascendant indicates that your marriage is likely to be compassionate, spiritual, and deeply intuitive. You approach relationships with a sense of empathy, sensitivity, and a desire for emotional and spiritual connection. Pisces’s energy is dreamy, creative, and often focused on the emotional and spiritual dimensions of life, making you someone who values emotional depth and soul connection in your marriage. You may be drawn to a partner who understands and shares your spiritual or creative inclinations. This placement suggests a marriage where both partners seek to transcend the ordinary and connect on a deeper, more spiritual level. Personal growth comes through embracing compassion, developing spiritual awareness, and nurturing the emotional bond within the relationship.

©️kleopatra45

[pushingdaisies1]

Its never too late baby . . . ♡

(✧ ˚.) PAIRING-> James "Logan" Howlett {A.K.A} Wolverine x Mutant Reader >_<

(✧ ˚.) SUMMARY -> You were always someone who utilized your strengths. Physical and mental, you were a jack of all trades. You were a true hero to the students you taught within the school. Amongst the other X-men, you would always be one of them. But you had this little tick, that always annoyed Logan no doubt. You were a secretive person, too secretive for even his "standards." For others, you were a pillar of nurture and guidance. He saw your well-meaning nature from miles away. It was almost sickening to him how you would stretch your capabilities out to no end. He would never deny that he could be selfish. Sometimes it's more worth it to save your spine, than risk it for someone else. Though with the problems being thrown the team's way as of recent, he always saw you spinning your wheels. You wouldn't reason with him even when he of all people would lend you a shoulder to cry on. Even the students at the school could see it. With their childish snickers and big-eyed looks at your comfortable banter with Mr. Howlett whenever he helped with class. You were in love with the Wolverine. Again, out of all the Canadians - him? It wasn't something like a schoolgirl crush. It was an infatuation sort of deal. You burned for him mind body and soul. You would pretty much follow this scoundrel to the ends of the earth, even the end of your life if prompted. Which causes something to break between you two after you risk your livelihood for your family. The people that made up your heart, including Logan.

(✧ ˚.) AUTHORS NOTE -> hi party people!! I saw so much of the sweet reception for my first ever logan piece , so tysm!! Genuinely from the bottom of my heart the love means so much. As I’m currently going through my x-men marathon time if you will , I’ve had this idea brewing for a while. Thankfully the resurgence of logan content has given me the push needed to formulate this yk! This isn’t a part two to my previous logan post. That will be coming very shortly, but this is its own thing. Timeline wise... erm.... idrk a good place to put this SIGH. I'm thinking like in between x2 and the last stand. also one last final note , the title I took from Chemtrails over the country club. specifically the one lyric - "it's never too late baby so don't give up." felt like an appropriate whimsy title, nd I have been hearing that song everywhere lolz. Anyways, toodles!!! ᐢᗜᐢ (✧ ˚.) CWS (?) -> Descriptions of blood and graphic injury , they/them pronouns for reader !! , mentions of major character deal , Logan cares too much ... which could mean nothing , ur comatose for like the good first chunk of this , Jean and u have LORE!!!!! (not rlly but u and her have backstory beefers/her "passing" affect reader 100%) , mourning/grief, And that's on having no healing powers!! Buh-dun-csh!!

Your fall from grace was quick on the battlefield. This was supposed to just be any regular mission. You were using it as a way to clear your head after all. But you took a leap too far and now here you were, plummeting. The issue at hand was apprehended, sure. But you didn't leave the fight unscathed. Your vision grew too spotty for you to even make out your surroundings. Your hearing too even started to fog. Looking down, somehow or some way a large-sized piece of shrapnel metal had made it into your torso. Right in the sweet spot that was not in the lungs. Your legs began to wobble, losing your footing slowly but surely. You didn't realize your body was falling to the ground. The warm feeling rushing through you was the blood exiting from your hefty wound. It was ironic the last thing your eyes met before collapsing. Logan turned back around immediately once he noticed you weren't clamoring to the jet. His heart sunk to his stomach as he immediately sprung over to you. By the time your head had smacked against the ground, you went out. Your fingertips began to buzz, your fatigue lifting all of a sudden. All of the hurt and weight on your shoulders lifted? You felt freer than before, with a piece of debree stuck inside of your body no more. Even if some people regarded mutants as the next step in human evolution, a majority were still stuck with fleshy bodies. If only you were made out of steel. In this momentary unconsciousness, you thought about everything that went wrong. Your existence as a whole, joining the school. Moving up from student to teacher at Professor Xavier's school, like Scott and Ororo you were one of the first. Regarded as maybe one of the most useful of the bunch. No one could ever compete with Storm, the literal incarnate of a goddess. You thought of her as your eyes closed, embraced with the warm memories of your early days within the school.

The professor was never one to play favorites among his students. But when he searched you out and arrived with a less conniving Magneto at your door, it was clear you were special to him and his cause. From that day forward you were seen as a pillar of hope to a lot of the students. To some, you were like a mother, to others a guardian who would save them no matter the risk. To Logan Howlett - "The Wolverine", you were a coward. A coward that he admired. A coward he respected due to the ways you handled... stress in the simplest of terms. From the day he met you, he wandered around the halls of the mansion bewildered and confused. Something about you stuck out. He would've done something with this urge sooner if his eyes weren't honed in on another.

From day one you were not surprised how fast he fell and yearned for Jean. The woman you saw as your confidant, your best friend, she was magnificent. Smart and poised all in one with a strong set of mutant abilities. She was on the same power level as the professor, which made sense for their connection.

For living in Jean's shadow, you didn’t hate it. You were her right-hand man. Your balance was comforting, she was like your sister. The professor in small quiet moments of honesty to you liked to compare you to him and Magnus. When times were simpler they weren’t at opposing ends of the mutant kind spectrum. Yours and Jean's dynamic made you feel at ease with yourself. How could you worry? Your identity became a part of hers a long time ago. Logan saw more to that with you. Sure you could nag a lot of the time, and you always barked up his tree whenever he found ways to smoke on school grounds. But you just had this pull for him. He'd always find his way to see you first whenever entering a room. His brash and gritty attitude always got all mushy around you. He over time grew a lot more fond of the smallest details when it came to you. He was an amnesiac, his past only bits and pieces. But you made him feel grounded. You cherished his growth in ways no one else had. You were the reason why he was so drawn to the "now" of life. He needed that in times like this. He couldn't keep up for long after the realization that Jean was gone finally sunk in. Drowning at his one-sided attraction, the longing that he could've done more, you pulled him right out from that rut. Thank god that the two of you combined had horrible sleep schedules. His nightmares still stirred while you were suddenly afflicted with these with the memories of being on that jet when it wouldn't take off. That same pain rocketed through you every night as you were haunted by the sight of Jean finally swept into the oncoming flood. The feeling of grief ricocheted throughout the entire school. But you found your way to stay afloat. It was Logan, which you never thought of yourself admitting. But truth be told it was him. He was the most anchoring thing around you. Ororo distanced herself for the first month, while Scott cracked under the pressure of grief. Late nights dashing around the campus halls to the kitchen, out to the court where you two just talked. You had never seen him talk so much until you two became each other's support. It made you feel better seeing him smile more. Especially when it was at you. Again, you would never utter that truth EVER. At least that's what you thought. But his smile was a nice reminder of all of the light he held inside of him. As much as he despised ... everything, he was still so nurturing in his own ways. Nightmares were an excuse for him to be next to you. Nightmares were his excuse to hold you tight to his chest. The pain of loss was a collective "excuse" between the two of you to just .. be close.

Soon though, this ideal predicament between you both started to crack. Because even though she was dead, you still knew you would always be inferior. It may be all in your head but the hate kept you driven. It kept you driven but also mad. Small things would set you off soon enough. You knew deep down whenever he'd look into your eyes, it was a nice reminder of Jean. Even with how much he denied it when you came to him in tears, your bitter pain and grief clouded your judgment.

Logan saw that even with his help you were still hurting. He didn't want to get involved in it entirely as some of it was your own demon. But he saw how bad your spiraling was and still wouldn't accept his help. Not even from Ororo or Scott, not even the professor. Neither of you would admit who started the argument. It was late, and you were tired from pushing yourself to grade papers. Logan couldn't sleep and wandered his way to your classroom of course. The conversation was fine until he mentioned the problem. Your problem which you didn't want to deal with right now. As you were only running on a few hours of sleep. But even with Logan's usual "take and give no fucks" attitude, he knew he needed to push. You were slowly shutting yourself off this time, and he didn't expect himself to be a part of that mix. It was all a misunderstanding, but the two of you were angry and fire was thrown.

Your shared feelings were complicated. This whole ordeal with him brought out the "worst parts" of your love for him. He too was dealing with his internal dilemma. How could he move on from Jean and you were still latched onto the idea of her? It was a stupid question that was brought up in a Logan way, which of course caused the spat to escalate. His poor mistake was what he shouted. Already with the fear of waking one or even all of the students, you hated what he even dared to utter. "We're friends, you need to calm down about this whole obsession thing bub!" Originally you were thinking of just heading to bed. You were too tired to continue on with this constant bickering. But that's when you exploded on him. You regretted every last word you said to his face. Because it was you speaking your honest truth. About what you felt for him, about your hurt and your pain. How Jean was practically your lifeline. Losing her was like losing a piece of yourself. Especially since you rubbed it in about the kiss he and her shared. That you had seen and that made you sick to your stomach. A couple hours later she was dead. Your heightened emotions make you feel almost dizzy. The more you talked the more you realized his expressions distinct shift. As he was reaching out for you, you immediately swatted his arm askew. He didn't realize he hated to see you cry as much as he did until now. With broken sobs, you ran out of your classroom. The papers once stacked neatly were now laid messily all over your desk. You made sure to keep quiet. What broke your heart even more was a half-awake Rogue you ran into. She looked even more awake seeing your distraught state. Her feet tip-toed against the wooden floors of the hall before she looked at you. A big reason you and Logan were so close too, was because of Rogue. She was a good kid, he always rubbed off on her. He told you everything about how he and Rogue met. You were so enamored hearing him recount even the foggiest of memories. It could even be arguments with Scott he had, you'd just sit there with wide eyes as you listened. His word became your gospel. It warmed you to your core hearing him almost sound like a dad. He had looked out for her from the beginning. You always tried to do the same even when he left for Alklai Lake for answers.

It was so silly when she had practically pushed you and Logan to talk. She was just a kid and you two took up the almost suto role of her protectors. Friend or parent, she too found two trusted people to confide in. So you immediately went into "teacher mode" as soon as she saw you with watery eyes. She looked puzzled when her face met yours. You calmed down her storm of questions as she sputtered on and on. What's wrong? , is something happening? Are you okay? The hug you shared was one of the last meaningful hugs you had with another living being. You practically cradled her in your arms as you helped her calm down. She looked up at you, her larger brown eyes almost like the ones of a puppy. "Please don't be lying to me... y'know ah don't like liars." She whispered softly, her bubbly southern accent quiet. Your heart broke into a couple more pieces as you lied through your teeth. With a content nod, you bidded her a goodnight. Turning back to your room to drown your sorrow in god knows what. It had only been a good couple of months after Jeans' death that a mission arose. The X-men were laying low after everything at the base. For the school's and students' sake. But it was always on time when something bad happened for the team to fix. Old enemies came a-knocking and this time it wasn't Magneto. It was all supposed to be an in-and-out operation. You immediately clamored to get your hands dirty once again. You and Logan hadn't been talking for the last couple of days. Not even meeting in the dead of night to speak to another. You longed to hear about his afternoons subbing with Storm. This was your chance to regain some well-needed level-headedness. The thrill of doing what's right for a better tomorrow always made you feel better The mission even got Scott to come out of his puddle of mourning. Making you feel even better seeing your good friend so triumphant as he quickly clamored for his uniform. You and Logan didn't even brush shoulders as Storm and Scott dashed off to prepare the jet for takeoff. Everything should have gone fine. You should have all made it out alive. Every single one of you, that's what you had planned. Your lapse in judgment will always be your curse. Because now here you were, in the lap of the man that made your stomach churn. That made you feel LIKE that silly schoolgirl feeling you despised. Snapping back to reality, you realize where you are currently laid. Logan's eyes eased from his previous panicked look of fear as he saw you conscious. You were still bleeding but it seems that with quick medical attention either one of them got it to lessen. Your heart raced as you felt the warmness of his hands as they pressed against your cheeks. "Come on, there you go. Just focus on me." He cooed to your heaving chest. In the far back of the jet, you couldn't see Ororo or Scott. What you could see though was the remnants of blood on Logan's suit. He must have carried you off of the rubble and into the X-jet. Your smile was nothing compared to the horrid wince that left you. Finally, after this long moment of ease, the pain set in.

Going down to hold your gut, you shuddered as your vision all of a sudden wavered. You took in a sharp breath as finally, you noticed how in bad shape you were. Red filled your palm as you shuddered. Thankfully Logan noticed you and your shaky breath and immediately gripped your hand. Even in this state, you were currently in, you would always be able to focus on him. "I know, I know it's scary. You got hit pretty bad, but it's okay. Just focus on me and you'll be okay? I have you." He encouraged softly with that comforting rasp in his throat. His eyes were shaken and his lip was firm. Though his mood lightened somewhat because at least now you were awake.

You tried to speak but you were so weak. That same fatigue stung you as you stumbled over your words. He cradled you in his arms as he kept his eyes only on you. Your weary mind still around belittling you, another one of your eerily humane curses. He saw your chest quicken and lip quiver as your eyes began to lull, you were struggling. "Hey .. don't strain yourself - what is it?" He too began to worry as you saw his vulnerability bloom. Finally your chest steady as you took in one big breath of air. You let out the one thing keeping you from slipping back into rest in one huff. "Don't let me die, asshole." The asshole part came out more garbled from you after you coughed out your last words. Your last words before your eyes fell closed. For some reason, your hearing stayed for just a while longer. In and out, you could hear him cursing under his breath. The last thing you hear is Logan's panicked shouting at Scott, "Can this hunk of metal go any faster?!"

Finally, after so much pain, there was quiet. Peace and quiet after your constant heartache. You felt freed from the chains of reality. From birth to now, now seemed like your death. You left your current reality with a bitter-sweet smile as you felt consciousness swarm over you.

You couldn't feel how long you were out. Oh, but Logan could. Six weeks you lay in the infirmary. With some sort of miracle and hope, Ororo was barely able to stabilize you. The team rushed back into the mansion in panic as your wounds were assessed. But no, you couldn't feel the panic that coursed through your loved ones as you lay so peacefully. You didn't know your heart rate was being tracked. You were stable but anyone could guess it'd take you a while to re-reach consciousness. That your accident broke the barely well Scott Summers. But most of all it affected Logan to the core. He felt his world shake under him as he finally realized what had just happened. Something snapped in a man so stuck in his ways. Those words you said to him before you went back down. They were short but in the moment meant so much. Not to mention the fact that even Logan, so careless and free, was guilty. Every time he came back just to see you, he wanted to curl over and into you. Just like how he mourned Jean, he mourned you. Though .. he couldn't because you were technically still here. He may have not noticed it but everyone else could. The lack of your presence hindered him the worst. He missed the way you'd bother him out of the blue during the quiet time around the school. He missed you telling him about your life. He missed the shitty snort you did when you laughed too hard at one of his bad jokes. He missed seeing you happy. He missed seeing you move around. Pestering students for turning in assignments late or cheating. He missed the feel of your lips against his forehead when his nightmares of Jean flared up. He missed the way you looked at him. The way you saw him not only as a man but as himself. He didn't know how to admit it but he.. missed you. He missed you so bad and it was eating away at him. He spent hours out of his day visiting you. Like what you two always did when you were alone, he talked. About his day, what he ate, and even the lessons he overheard. The school got even quieter with you gone and he hated it. He felt bitter and broken, he didn't want to feel like that. He especially missed the way he felt with you. Almost like being on cloud nine. He finally understood the pain you felt when Jean died. This time on a more intimate level than he'd like to admit. He felt like the moon was ripped away from him after the sun. Now he was just the lonely tide, washing away against the shore until you returned. Ororo did all she could to help. All she could do was maintain your physical well-being as your body healed with rest. Logan hated the wait. The time you spent not walking around the halls of the school was maybe one of the worst times in his life. Since it hit him so deep on a real level. In this array of pain and even more guilt, he felt something dawn on him as you were still comatose. He was in love with you, Logan was in love with you. He felt like an idiot but the realization would always stay true. No matter how stupid he felt. As much as he wanted to deny it, he knew. In the middle of his thought process, he heard the swift slide open of the infirmary doors.

Right now he was standing over you. The one thing that kept his spirits high about your recovery was the gentle rise and lower of your chest. He didn't have to look behind him to know it was Storm. She too had taken her time checking in on your unconscious form. He sighed as she walked up right beside him. She gently cupped the examination table where your body would lay. She looked down at her hands with a bitter-sweet smile on her lips. She looked over to Logan, who was at a pause with himself. She decided to finally break the long silence. "You know they'll be fine, right?" She hummed as she glanced up to look over you. He chuckled softly as his brow pinched. His chuckle came out more like a rugged scoff. "I know, this just feels weird." He sucked in a breath of stale air. "It was funny the first night you arrived at the mansion.." Storm drew up a memory of that fateful night. "As soon as I and Scott brought you in, they immediately volunteered to help Jean down here with your examination. They were always enamored with your set of abilities. You were one of a kind to them especially, I suppose." Now his hands gripped into the sides of the examination table. He looked down, in pity of you and himself. How could he be so blind? Storm butted in once more as she noticed his demeanor shift. "All I'm saying is, they'd be happy to know how much you worried." He nodded in response, reminiscing when things were good. From your first encounter to now, his heart warmed. "I'd do it for anyone else." He gritted out as he bit back a smile. The truth was he was still in agony about Jean's loss. It felt wrong to love you as he had longed for her after all of this time. But you felt like a whole different story. He didn't have to sit in agony knowing that no matter what his love would always be with another. You always gave him the time and day, hell even down to the minute to just be honest. He needed you at his side no matter what you were to him. Maybe you were more than a friend, maybe he was crazy about you, but you understood him. In a way maybe Jean never had. Ororo knew he needed more time so she complied with the awkwardness in the air. "I'll give you some more time. Rest easy Logan, they'd want that." She insisted before making her way out of the infirmary. He immediately looked down back at you, before looking back at the monitor tracking your heart. He sighed, biting into his lip. He stuttered the only thing that had been keeping him sane since he last felt your eyes open. "Don't fail me now dimples... I need you." He gritted as his teeth were practically ground into his gums. It has become a regular part of his routine now. Once the students were back in their dorms for the night, down to the infirmary he goes. He could never be tired of seeing you at rest. Seeing you okay and not in pain. He just wished he could hear you speak. He hoped that you could hear his pleas for you to wake.

As much as he longed for you he just bided his time. Like the fool he was, like the idiot he felt like when you made him so weak. You made him feel the most human he ever could feel.

That day was supposed to be a normal day. Classes had been more and more brief. After the loss of Jean and you being "put out." But he did not expect to see what he did next. Going into the elevator to head downstairs, to of course see you as always. He was ready to talk about what you missed away and so on. His chest tightened once he saw what was right in front of him. It was you, you were walking? You were awake and on your own two feet. Your midsection was still bandaged but at least you were standing up straight. But then it finally clicked. Wait, you shouldn't even be walking around right now?!

He immediately ran to steady you once your expression went more absent. "Welcome back to the land of the living." He roughly inquired with a small, pleased grin. "I feel like shit, so don't start with me Wolvie." You gritted out with that smile that made him too feel all good on the inside. Quickly, his arms calmly wrapped around you. He longed for your embrace for too long. It wasn't like you were fighting him when he enacted this. You wrapped your arms around him too. He made sure not to squeeze too tight with your bandages and all. A gentleman must stay mindful, he could recall you poking at him as he had a beer bottle half hidden in his jacket.

Your head gently rested in the crook of his neck. That quiet he hated so much before when seeing you in the infirmary was warmer now. He liked the peace and quiet between the two of you when you were there WITH him. After some minutes passed, you met him back face to face. You eyes lingered as you watched the way he swallowed in with composure. You had longed for him to see you. Finally, all the puzzle pieces were clicking, and with your luck all at once. You knew before this would have never happened. It felt wrong and almost hurtful for you to be doing this. But go big or go home I guess. It was you who initiated it, and he gratefully complied. Still keeping you steady, once your lips met his hand immediately went to cup your cheek. In the bliss shared, all of a sudden it felt right. The tender embrace of your lips with his felt good. It was hungry and it was liberating. You could feel his heart beating out of his chest as quick gasps for air were taken. "I'm sorry." He uttered out, forehead against yours. "I know." You said with a sanguine look in your eye. "I love you." He uttered again at a rapid pace. "I know." You purred, your eyes looking back into his hazy ones. Things would always be complicated between the both of you. But deep down you had hope. Maybe not now, someday things could just be normal between you and The Wolverine. That's all you wanted and that's all you dreamed of. Yours and his timing by all means was horrible. So it wasn't surprising this delightful moment got interrupted by Scott of all people. You and Logan looked back, hands immediately darting off of one another. Time to address THAT later.

Scott's mouth fell agape as he began to regret coming down here in the first place. He readjusted his glasses with a small scowl. "Well hello to you too, and Logan." He turned his head to give him that same look. "Wanted to check on you but clearly -" He made sure to put a specific emphasis on 'clearly.' "That job has been overtaken by him.. I'll get Ororo." Before either you or Logan could interrupt him, Scott was already pressing buttons up to the main floor. Now that it was just the two of you bubbling laughs were shared. You felt finally okay. You felt like yourself after those months of nothing but remembrance. You and The Wolverine wormed back into conversation as you could finally talk BACK to him. Another thing you wouldn't ever admit was that yes, you did hear him. His gentle words would always be your favorite secret. After that display of affection though, your and Logan's bond never stayed just a little secret after that. Even after all the trial and error, and the more soon to come, you finally had another moment. Another moment that you could look at when you are older and with more grays on your head. Logan Howlett was yours, no matter how much the universe wanted to throw you around a loop. You'd always have him by your side, till the end of time. Nothing would stop you from cherishing this connection. Not even the burning phoenix crackling over the horizon. You and Logan against time baby.

ꔫ✉ reblogs/interaction is appreciated <3

[rwby-encrusted-blog]

There are two types of Mech, the Analog, and the Linked.

Analog mechs are the far, far cheaper of the two. Much less specialized, and infinitely more common, able to be found not just in military use, but in Agricultural and Industrial use as well.

To pilot one, all you need it four limbs (Including prosthetics) and good senses, and to score well in the Simulators to get your license.

Analog is a bit of a misnomer, a holdover word from yesteryear, simply meaning "Less sophisticated."

Analog Mechs work by scanning the Brain Activity of the pilot, comparing it to the physical input of the controls, and deciding what to do from there. They're considered old fashioned and less reliable than Linked Mechs, but they're reliable enough for the work they do. They are more easily replaced and retrofitted for different tasks.

They have simpler AI, and to exit one, you simply take the helmet off and open the hatch.

Linked Mechs are a whole other can of worms.

Each and every Linked Mech is custom built and fitted to their pilot, from the heaviest weapon, to the smallest nut, no one is the same as the other.

Linked Mech are Physically plugged into their pilot's nervous system, and they act as one. It can take hours of Decompression and Disconnection to remove a Linked Pilot.

Linked Mechs are truly nothing without their pilots.

Linked Pilots are the most terrifying people you may ever meet.

Their skin is mottled from the Oxygenator-Coolant that runs in their veins, the plugs and ports too deeply entwined in their flesh and body to be removed without serious disruption to their faculties, hairless and sterile from their conditioning and actions when inside their vessel, and that's only the physical differences.

Depending on how long they've been a Linked Pilot, their mental capabilities are affected in different ways.

'Young' pilots are simply too wary - able to pick up on the most minute details, in all five senses.

Their Mechs are still machine.

'Moderate' pilots have some neurological and mental degradation in addition to what they had before. often confused or forgetful outside of their mech, but still very aware of their surroundings, if not their place in time.

Their Mechs act protective of them, like a dog to it's beloved owner.

'Old' Pilots have all the earlier issues, compounded and worsened, and sometimes confusing themself for their mech, even going so far as to entering refill and Refueling areas of the hangars.

Their Mechs act the same, often trying to reach their pilot's quarters and the Cafeteria.

They may refuse to separate at time, feeling more comfortable together than apart.

and then there are the 'Fused' the oldest and rarest caste of Linked Pilot and Mech.

The Pilot and The Mech fused absolutely, inseparable for Neurological, Psychological, and physical reasons.

They are the same. They are one. A perfect fusion of the Biological and Mechanical, Electrochemical Intelligence and the Fissile-Logic Personality, Mirroring each other with every breath and ventilation protocol.

And they are still people.

The Fused still need social interaction and entertainment. They still need variety and novelty, comfort. All the things anyone else would.

Fused are the least common, but are the least likely to die. Too perfectly combined, Too well accompanied.

The Three times a 'Fused' has been separated, The pilot Died, the Mech 'Bricked' itself, like a Jail-broke phone, no matter how it was done.

Fused are the most loyal, true, and caring of all pilots.

Few ever meet the 'Pilot,' the meat within the metal, but the few that do are those most trusted by the Fused person, as the Fused is showing you their beating heart.

If you earn one's trust, and are given this deep, grand honor, I only have one piece of advice.

Do. Not. Break. That. Trust.

[gaywarcriminals]

Qijiu Findom is Canon

So we've all seen this scene, right?

This scene is a fundamental piece of YQY characterization to me. There's a lot to be said about how this ties into YQY's desire to protect, provide for, and spoil SJ, but today I am here to talk about how this man would be really into financial domination. I truly can't believe that only one such qijiu fic exists (thank you to kat8cha I owe you my life). 

The core tenants of my qijiu findom manifesto are as follows: 

YQY doesn’t like spending money on himself 

YQY belongs to SJ

YQY loves providing for SJ 

SJ would rather take than receive

(Most of this post is more headcanon than directly evidenced, but I think it’s a logical jump from canon!)

YQY doesn’t spend money on himself 

This was the starting point of my thinking when I started spinning qijiu findom in my brain back in 2022. Yue Qingyuan, in my opinion, doesn’t like taking care of himself. I think he’s better about taking care of his physical needs to some degree because he’s aware that the consequences of him passing out or qi deviating would affect more than just himself, but his motivation is a.) to be a well functioning machine capable of fulfilling his role as sect leader, and b.) to Not Fuck Up. (One of adult YQY’s core traits is that he lives in perpetual fear of fucking up. More on that another day). Aside from the risk of heart demons damaging his cultivation, YQY doesn’t see any possible consequences to neglecting his mental health. 

And so, does YQY really deserve a comfortable bed? Does he really need any nice wall hangings in the parts of his home that guests will never see? The only seemingly indulgent purchases YQY makes are those needed to uphold his image as sect leader, like fine clothes and hair oils. Those are functionally business expenses, because YQY is aware that how he presents himself reflects on the entire sect. (SJ surely doesn’t see it that way— he only sees YQY putting on the affects of nobles and spending money like water, as bad as any of the natal lords in this sect). In the modern era, YQY would come home, take off his perfectly tailored suit, and flop face first onto his bare mattress on the floor.

YQY’s everything belong to SJ

I think that if SJ had asked, YQY would be willing to give him basically anything he owned. Fundamentally, YQY puts SJ’s life before his own. He would not have walked into near-certain death long after SJ became irredeemable to the rest of the cultivation world if that was not the case. Yue Qingyuan literally offers SJ his life. 

YQY would die if he thought it would make SJ happy. If YQY’s life and the sword that is his life can be forfeited to SJ, what’s a bit of money, or the material possessions that YQY cares little for? What’s his is SJ’s, and if it would make SJ happy, YQY would not hesitate to hand over whatever SJ asked for. 

YQY likes taking care of people.

Although the fanon of YQY being overly solicitous and constantly pushing gifts on SJ contracts canon (as far as I can tell, there's not a single instance in the novel of specfically Yue Qingyuan giving SQQ a gift-- at most, there's references to all the peak lords doing so), I think there’s a little truth to it— if YQY thought SJ would allow him to, he would absolutely give SJ whatever he thought the man might like or need. I would go as far as to say that he probably longs to do so. He is a service dog, after all.

Yue Qingyuan most often expresses his affection as protecting, taking care of, or expressing concern for others. Most of his 'wet puppy in the rain' moments in canon are not due to his own misery, but because he is concerned for SJ or SQQ. Yue Qingyuan is bad at existing for his own sake; he is constantly shown to be putting others and the sect above himself, and none more so than SJ. Personally. I don’t think this is just due to YQY’s strength of character. I think he gains a sense of purpose and identity from being the one to protect and take care of others. There is a reason I say YQY had eldest daughter syndrome: he needs someone to take care of For His Health.

Being allowed to give or buy things for SJ, or have SJ use YQY's assets to buy things himself, would fulfill YQY's needs. It would give him vital enrichment. After their long estrangement where SJ constantly ignores YQY, someone as simple as being able to express affection by providing for SJ would literally be a privilege to YQY. 

That's all well and good, but doesn't that just mean YQY's wants to be SJ's sugar daddy? Why do I specify findom instead? Well that's where we get to SJ.

SJ would be suspicious of gifts

SJ is a paranoid person, and many gifts come with some expectation of reciprocity. I think SJ’s ability to appreciate gifts would be hampered by his immediate unasked question: “what do you want from me?”. While gifts for Peak Lord Shen may pose less of an issue, as he’s able to quickly identify the motives from deference to bribery, gifts to Shen Jiu The Person may pose more of an issue, as the lack of a clear motive besides expressing affection leaves room for SJ’s mind to invent one. Honestly, SJ reacts similarly to most kindness— he himself is so rarely kind without a motive, so it’s hard for him to imagine that others might not be the same. (Any kindness Xiao Jiu showed his Qi-ge doesn’t count— SJ was only protecting what belonged to him 😤).

Because of this twisty brain maze he’s made for himself, SJ is far more comfortable taking something than receiving it. SJ learned as a child that he will be given nothing, and that taking things is necessary for survival, and he had no compunctions about it. Taking is an act of initiative and aggression: taking is winning. I actually think this is how he framed begging in his mind— by thinking of it as tricking people, he gets to feel like he’s won or stolen something, rather having to linger in the pity. 

Gifts, affection, and love can all be given this treatment. If SJ tricked YQY into loving him and must now cling to his rightfully earned possession, SJ needn’t address his own feelings. If YQY’s money is something SJ takes, he gets to feel like he’s taking advantage of YQY instead of having to feel like he’s reliant on YQY or like he's YQY's charity case.

SJ is a massive control freak, and he is always most comfortable in a relationship when he can tell himself he’s in control of the  dynamic, even if that makes the relationship appear unhealthy to an outside observer. Once YQY catches on to this, he would do absolutely everything he could to accommodate SJ (without SJ realizing he’s being accommodated ofc).

In short, YQY leaves his wallet on the nightstand, SJ takes or “steals” it and buys some overpriced designer good he doesn’t need, silently daring YQY to challenge him on it, and they both feel fulfilled by this. 

This is what peak performance looks like.

(Side note: there are a couple other ways to execute a findom for dynamic for qijiu! The main two I can think of are "Stupid Qi-ge’s money is so easy to steal: obviously I must steal it First, and use it Better, to Protect Him." and "Stupid Qi-ge is languishing/never takes care of himself. I must take his money and use it to force him to do self care." My tastes run angstier tho 😂)

[redxx95]

How Cherry Magic avoids romanticising self-sacrifice

Alright strap in boys, this is gonna be a long one.

Spoilers for the manga (mostly the english volumes but I will include a bit from vol 12. I'll mark it tho so yall may skip it if you don't want to be spoilered).

So in this one I want to examine how cherry magic does a great job at portraying self-sacrifice in a relationship as an actual flaw rather than a romantic ideal to aspire to. Very often you'll see characters in media putting their own needs aside for their lover. A lot of people will swoon at that because it is usually presented as proof of how dedicated they are to their partner and their wellbeing. (See... well the thai adaptation actually).

But what has pleasantly surprised me is how Toyota handles this in her manga.

Starting from the beginning, we all know the millions of things Kurosawa did for Adachi to get closer to him. After all, that is what's usually expected of him if we talk traditional gender roles. But one of the reasons Adachi even starts falling for Kurosawa is because of how he was for once able to do something for him.

For someone with very low self-esteem, being able to help this super-capable perfect man is a big boost in confidence and also raises his own selfworth.

So now let's look at a few instances of selfless action and the consequences resulting from them.

First one is the disaster-date in volume 4

Kurosawa does his very best to choose activities that he thinks Adachi will enjoy. That is his primary concern.

The effect this has on Adachi though is that the gap between them feels impossibly wide, only worsening his already low opinion of himself.

Whenever Kurosawa does something big, it makes Adachi feel that much smaller. That's why he'd rather them be equals in everything instead of one giving more than the other.

Next is the argument they have in volume 8

Kurosawa attempts to, very selflessly, protect Adachi from his lowkey homophobic parents. He doesn't want them and their opinions to hurt Adachi personally, so he ends up lying to him to keep the peace. The effect this has on Adachi though is disastrous. At first he's just generally worried about why Kurosawa would even lie to him in the first place, but then they have that fight in their living room and you really get a good look at how negatively this affects Adachi.

The very first conclusion he jumps to is that he's not doing good enough for Kurosawa to feel secure with him.

The next one is even worse, where he thinks he's not good enough in general. Both of these show how when pressed, he will default to blaming himself, believing that he is the problem first and foremost.

And then, if all of that wasn't bad enough, this happens next:

He's actually being self-deprecating again, something he hadn't done ever since Kurosawa told him not to in volume 5. And yes you can actually go back and check for yourself. Whenever he has negative thoughts after this point he's always pushing back.

So there's an escalation happening here, one that is entirely caused by Kurosawa not sharing his burdens with him, by making their relationship unequal.

I think it also hurts him extra bad because they've had this argument before, just with their roles switched.

So to him it must feel like Kurosawa is betraying the important lesson Adachi learned from that argument, which is that communicating with your partner is important, even when you feel like it might hurt them.

There's also something to be said about how most people would've probably stopped prodding when someone says "it's something I can't tell you", but Adachi knows that Kurosawa has a pattern of hiding his issues from him thanks to the mind reading, which is the whole reason they had that argument in vol 6 in the first place.

So, to summarize: Whenever Kurosawa acts selfless it takes a toll on Adachi's mental health. Because of his low self-esteem he needs to feel on equal terms with Kurosawa to be able to see himself as worthwhile. (And obviously he also loves Kurosawa and doesn't want to see him in pain just in general.)

So after all that, surely Kurosawa would have learned his lesson, right? Surely he wouldn't just do it again, right?

... Spoilers for volume 12 start here ✨

So volume 12 is all about Kurosawa overworking himself because he's been assigned this big project by their chief to oversee their company's spot at a stationery convention. (I didn't look up whether or not that's a real thing but it is in the manga universe I guess lmao.)

Adachi tries to help alleviate his burdens with mixed success.

(On the left he feeds Kurosawa because he needs to finish his work and doesn't have time to eat. On the right he tries to take a phonecall for Kurosawa but gets told that Kurosawa needs to hear it personally so relaying a message won't do.)

Then Adachi muses to himself how Kurosawa was always helping him out in the past and how Adachi can't do anything for him in return, especially since they're in different departments. He feels very useless, which is once again bad for his mental health.

Later at home, he offers to at least take over the chores for the time being, but gets told that Kurosawa actually enjoys doing chores so there's no need for him to help.

Kurosawa tells him that all he needs is Adachi to be close to him, while making out with him on the sofa. And right here we see how he only got half the lesson he was supposed to have learned in volume 8: In their fight Adachi told him that they should both be happy and he should share "all the hurt" with him, too. Well, the simple solution to that is not to see all his burdens as burdens, then he's not hurting and Adachi doesn't need to bother fussing over him! Win-win. Epic mind gymnastics 😎 (To be honest, I feel like this is actually very relatable to people that tend to give more than they take. We get so used to the weight of the burden that we don't notice it slowly pulling us down.)

So Adachi obviously notices what's going on and berates him about not having understood anything he said from that fight.

Throughout the volume Kurosawa gets more and more overworked, makes mistakes and is confronted with unexpected complications. He's very adamant about not asking anyone for help though, stating that he "can't be bothering his senpais any more than he already has" and that he's "doing this all for the sake of his future with Adachi".

He also still has some hangups about people seeing him as just a pretty face, as you can see in that flashback in the second page. He constantly feels the need to prove himself to others, which prevents him from ever seeking out help.

So when he inevitably reaches his limit, Adachi is finally able to be there for him, being the only one that sees through his facade.

(That hand kiss is so precious 😭)

Also, on that first page Adachi asks him whether or not he's fine, which reminds me of this panel from volume 6:

He really knows him so well.

Emboldened by his husband, Kurosawa finally does ask for help and is, of course, met with understanding and sympathy.

.

Spoilers for volume 12 end here ✨

So all this to say: Sometimes, when we try our best to be selfless and to protect the people close to us, we do more harm than good. Sometimes we cause harm to others (see volumes 4 and 8) and sometimes we cause harm to ourselves (see volume 12). It is of course a noble cause but it's not something to strive for at all times and can sometimes be actually counterproductive to what we wanted to achieve in the first place.

As someone who breaks themselves apart to help all the people around them, this aspect of the manga resonated very strongly with me and is probably the biggest reason I got so obsessed with this silly little BL romcom.

I know that this manga is not like, the best in quality. I know it's super niche and silly and cannot compare to the big popular mainstream manga with lots of depth and thought put into it, BUT.

A piece of art doesn't need to be "good" in order to resonate with people. You don't need to paint the mona lisa to reach someone and make them feel seen. You just need some sort of medium and a will to communicate something to the observer. (Something an AI could never replicate but that is a whole other discussion.)

This manga reached me when I needed it and it communicated a message that resonated with me and that is all it needed to do for me to love it to the point of obsession. 💖

Finally I'm done with this essay it is so long oh my god. If you reached the end of this, I'm so sorry. I hope you enjoyed it tho.

[ddollfface]

𝐘𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐀𝐥𝐩𝐡𝐚𝐛𝐞𝐭

𝗟𝗼𝘃𝗲𝗦𝗶𝗰𝗸!𝗔𝘁𝗵𝗹𝗲𝘁𝗲 𝘅 𝗮𝗳𝗮𝗯!𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗱𝗲𝗿

"You should stay up, I wanna keep flirting with ya';)))"

Trigger Warnings: reader is describe as "good girl", yandere behaviors, insinuation of abduction, some unwanted groping (not done by yandere), LoveSick!Athlete is delulu, possessiveness, a shit tone of manipulation, talking about LoveSick!Athlete's childhood (it was bad), bad writing, yandere invalidating reader's rightful anger/emotions. If I missed anything, then please let me know ♡ Just a yandere alphabet about my favorite boy. If you want more on him, or having any ideas, then send some requests! Or if you want to see a yandere alphabet for any other characters I've written about, then do that too!! (not proofread btw)

Affection: How do they show their love and affection? How intense would it get?

Okay, so I've touched on how LoveSick!Athlete shows their affection, but to expand on it, he is very, very touchy. He's always gotta hand on ya', never letting you further than a few feet away from him. It's not nessarily out of possesivness as he's pretty laid back as a yandere, but it more so comes from a place of wanting to take care of you. Not in a fatherly way! God no, that gross lol, but it's more so in the way of a husband providing for his wife. He wants to take care of you, watch over you, and just show you that he's the best option for you. He knows he's the best, but he's just gotta make sure that you know that too!

Another factor is that he comes from a very, very big family that's very physical with each other. His mother would always greet him with a hug, she still does now! He's the same. He's very touchy with both his friends and his darling. With his friends, he's patting them on the back, ruffling their hair, or wrestling with them. It's the same with his darling. LoveSick!Athlete is naturally playful, so he'll want to playfight with you. He wants to mess around with you! He wants to hold your hand, loop his arms around your shoulders, and pull you close. LoveSick!Athlete just finds the warmth of another person to be comforting, just knowing that your heart's still beating, and your brain's working puts him at ease.

Now, does it get intense? Well, it depends on the person. Say, you're not a very touchy person and you show your love through other means, then yes, it will be. Being with LoveSick!Athlete will be a constant tug-of-war as he'll have a hard time understanding your boundaries of not wanting to be touched. I mean, you're friends, right? Yeah? So then what's the big deal?

Blood: How messy are they willing to get when it comes to their darling?

Surprisingly, he won't get too aggressive with others. He's literally the embodiment of 'wear whatever you want, I'm tall and I can fight', no joke. He doesn't care too much what you wear. If anything, he prefers it, seeing as he gets to show you off to all the losers on campus.

If a guy gets too touchy or makes you uncomfortable, then he'll step in and teach the guy a lesson. He's an athlete, so he's strong and capable of fighting someone. Will he kill someone for you? Sure, depends on the situation. LoveSick!Athlete leans more towards mental forms of manipulation than physical violence. He gets enough of that in the rink too much to be bringing that into his relationship. For a brute, it's surprising how level-headed he is, or how he seems to be.

Cruelty: How would they treat their darling once abducted? Would they mock them?

Hmmm, how do we define "abducted"? 'Cause LoveSick!Athlete doesn't techinically kidnap his darling, instead he slowly isolates them from their social circle, gradually becoming their only safety net. It gets to the point where you'll come over to his house and just never leave.

But let's just say we're counting this as abduction (I do lol), then nothing really changes. LoveSick!Athlete treats you the same. He's still touchy, affectionate, happy, and laid back. He's pretty confident in his ability to convince make you stay with him.

LoveSick!Athlete doesn't do mocking, especially not toward his darling that's reserved for the pigs who perv on you. He's a little more forceful with his affections, only if you aren't behaving like a good girl. If you aren't fitting into his ideal view of a relationship, then he won't be too pleased, but he's patient. He can wear you down.

Darling: Aside from abduction, would they do anything against their darling’s will?

He'll force you into a relationship, into giving him affection, etc. Though you don't really realize this until it's too late. The thing with LoveSick!Athlete is that he's a mass manipulator. Honestly, he should get paid for how good he is at it.

LoveSick!Athlete will trick the people around you into believing that you two are in a relationship, not denying any allegations against you two. He'll brag to his teammates that he's got the sweetest girl in the uni. You'll be confused as hell when a bunch of hockey players are sneaking glances at you from the bench, trying to creep a peek at the Captain's new girl. Though he won't tell you, just stating that people must see the chemistry between the two of us. It must be a sign, yeah? And blah, blah, blah.

He'll whisper some sweet words laced in honey, causing your cheeks to grow warm and hands to become clammy. It's the same with affection. When you're just friends, he'll wrap an arm around your shoulder, intertwine your hands with his, and place a hand on the small of your back. All these actions are too small to think anything of, but they just put you off. I mean, it's nothing to get too worked up over.

Exposed: How much of their heart do they bear to their darling? How vulnerable are they when it comes to their darling?

You see, LoveSick!Athlete does love you, no, really. He does, with all his heart, but that thing is that he's used to wearing a mask. He's constantly playing up the "popular jock" stereotype. He has to be cool and get all the ladies. That's just his 'mask', if you will.

But with you, it feels like he can be real, y'know? Of course, this will take time and will likely only happen after he's abducted you and you've figured out all the shit he's been doing behind your back. Once he feels like he's gotten all the hard stuff out of the way, like the threatening, lying, and more, he'll drop the mask. The persona isn't too far different than the real him. The real him is a lot less cocky, more self-assured, and calm. LoveSick!Athlete, the real him, is far less brash and cheeky, instead, he's more sluggish. He acts more like a smitten fool, feeling secure in his relationship with you. Without the mask, he's just a normal dude who wants all your affection. He doesn't know how to handle this overwhelming sense of need he feels for you, the need to provide for you, protect you, and prove himself to you. And this primal need to feel useful is what drives his yandere tendencies.

Fight: How would they feel if their darling fought back?

Meh, he doesn't care too much. If anything, he finds it amusing. He might tease his darling, but not mock them. He'll try to resolve the situation with a level head, trying to calm you down. He'll use different manipulation tactics like gaslighting, guilt-tripping, playing the victim, and more. It all really depends on what you do, honestly. LoveSick!Athlete is a very patient person, surprisingly, so it'll be difficult to make him overly pissed off. You'd have to do something very, very bad.

Game: Is this a game to them? How much would they enjoy watching their darling try to escape?

Nope, not really. Listen, LoveSick!Athlete wants comfort, he wants you. He wouldn't be pursuing and locking you away providing for you if he didn't see you as a viable partner! That'd be a waste of time, which he doesn't have.

Though, he won't deny that he finds it somewhat amusing when his darling tries to get rid of him. He more so, just wants to know the reasoning behind it, wanting to get in your head. He wants to know how you tick, what makes you think. This way he'll know how to break you down and make you his help you understand his point of view. He also just wants to know who you are.

Hell: What would be their darling’s worst experience with them?

Hmmm, okay, so this is going to get pretty grim, but reader's worst moment with LoveSick!Athlete would be when he let his teammates rough 'em up. You both had just gotten into an argument, something about you're relationship. Let's just say that you may have claimed screamed that you didn't need him. That you were fine on your own, that maybe, just maybe, you're friendship or relationship, in his eyes, was holding you back, and you may need to see different people.

Obviously, LoveSick!Athlete wasn't pleased with this, but he'd make you stand by your word. You think you don't need him? Okay, fine then. Try it.

And that's what he does. When his teammates, around three of them, begin to crowd you, their hands getting a little grabby, and eyes layered in lust. He doesn't do anything, I mean. Afterall, you don't need him, right? You don't need his protection, yeah? You're a big girl. Act like it then.

He watched as his buddies fondled you, touching you in places only he had. Your eyes flooded with tears, blurring your vision. You called out to him, begging him, wanting him to help you. You confessed, you needed him.

He made you repeat yourself, wanting you say it again. You do. That's all you had to do. Really, it was pretty simple. You need him.

Ideals: What kind of future do they have in mind for/with their darling?

Well, LoveSick!Athlete is a college student, so he's not thinking too far ahead. But he does know that he loves you. He wants you. He wants to be with you for the rest of his life. He wants to get a good job, not in athletics. He's good, obviously, but he knows that it's stupid to grasp at straws, so he's pursuing a program that'll help him get his associate degree.

He doesn't know if he wants kids, yet, but he won't deny that the idea of a mini him and you running around is a nice thought. But you're young. You've got time. Nothin' to rush, yeah?

Jealousy: Do they get jealous? Do they lash out or find a way to cope?

I've already written about this in another post, soooo refer to it right here.

Kisses: How do they act around or with their darling?

I'm pretty sure that I've already gone over this in the previous letters, but I can kinda expand on it ig.

LoveSick!Athlete likes to show you off. You're his girl, his ride-ordie, y'know? He's proud of you and your accomplishments. He'll rave to anyone who'll listen, going on and on about your recent successes and such. He'll tell a random cashier about you, proceeding to get yelled at by the old lady behind him. In total, he's a lovesick puppy.

He's clingy but confident at the same time. He has to be touching you at all times, seeing it as his way of showing affection. He buys you things, you sucks up to you, and more. He's the definition of a simp, but he's more laid back. He's not necessarily in your face as he has a chill vibe to him, if that makes sense lol.

Idk really what else to say on that so yeah :)

Love letters: How would they go about courting or approaching their darling?

He'll drive off any competition, scaring them off with his broad shoulders, and lean muscles. However, he doesn't really need to scare others off as most people get the hint 'cause he never stops talking about you.

Anyway, he'll force you to study with him, pretending to be stupid so that you'll take pity on him. This way he'll get you talking, wanting to listen to you just speaking. From there he'll ask you out to coffee.

Or he'll suddenly interject himself into your friend group, but no one will question it as he's too smooth. LoveSick!Athlete is very charismatic and a lot of people like him, so they wouldn't think much of it.

Overall, he'll listen to his darling, absorbing everything they say like a sponge. He'll try to see you often, this way you'll be absentmindedly thinking of him. He might even convince some of his buddies to talk about him to you, hyping him up and such. If you have any siblings, then he'll become buddy-buddy with them, especially if they're younger than you both. (He's good with kids btw).

Mask: Are their true colors drastically different from the way they act around everyone else?

Literally, talked about this exact thing in letter E lol

Naughty: How would they punish their darling?

LoveSick!Athlete doesn't really do punishments, y'know? It's mostly taking away privileges that you've given previously. For example, you'll have your favorite food taken out of the pantry, forcing you to eat oatmeal or something idk. Maybe, he'll take away your phone, make you do a shit tone of push-ups or something like that. The majority of the punishments he does are just inconvenient, nothing too scary.

But that's just for minor things. You try to run away or something, but there are certain things that make him "snap" if you will. Things like hurting yourself, trying to kill him, and insulting how well/well he takes care of you. Like the situation I described in letter H, if you insult it capabilities of providing and taking care of you, then he will spiral. And that won't be fun...

Oppression: How many rights would they take away from their darling?

Nope, out of all my OCS, I would say that LoveSick!Athlete is the most laid back. He doesn't care for too many things. Honestly, he's probably the best yandere to have if you're a brat. He'll humor you instead of squashing you, even though he could easily do so.

Patience: How patient are they with their darling?

I've already gone over this multiple times throughout this post. Lovesick!Athlete has the patience of an angel, which is surprising due to how aggressive he is in the rink.

Quit: If their darling dies, leaves, or successfully escapes, would they ever be able to move on?

No, God no, he'll shut himself out. He'd likely quit his sport and never play away. He wouldn't be able to enter a rink again, there's no way. If you were to somehow die, then he'd fall into a manic depression, all of his patience wearing away slowly. He wouldn't know what to do with himself. When you were with him, he knew what he wanted in life. He had a picture of you and him, together with a little boy. The baby would've had your eye shape and his hair, dark curls. His whole life was there, just right there in his reach.

But say you were to successfully escape, he'd immediately going to try to find you. He knows that you wouldn't be able to go to the police, he's not stupid. He knows how to cover his steps, besides, he's a master manipulator. He's probably ruined your mental fortitude and he can do the same to the cops.

Regret: Would they ever feel guilty about abducting their darling? Would they ever let their darling go?

No, not really. He doesn't believe that he abducted you, instead, he thinks that he just convinced you. That he just led you down the right path, to him. Everything does is fueled by his love for you, all he wants to do is be happy with you. That's all.

Sometimes he'll feel a little remorseful if his darling begins to close themselves up and lock him out (metaphorically), but he doesn't process the abduction as being the reasoning for the behavior. He just thinks that you're going through something, there's no way that he could be the problem, right?

He does feel bad, as he does have feelings, but he just doesn't associate your negative reactions/emotions with his actions.

And, about letting his darling go, no he wouldn't. He doesn't think he's holding them hostage in the first place! He just believes that he's keeping the relationship thriving. He doesn't think that your relationship is toxic (despite the constant gaslighting he puts you through), so he just wants to mend your relationship. I mean, just talk to him, there's no reason to be so rash!

Stigma: What brought about this side of them (childhood, curiosity, etc)?

Let's just say that LoveSick!Athlete didn't have a father in the home, causing him to drift away from his family and spiral (at certain times). He never grew up in the most stable home, money was tight, and his mama was exhausted, having to care for four kids and all. And seeing his mama struggle so much caused him to want to be a provider, someone his loved ones could call for help. He wants to be the breadwinner, the person keeping you safe (both physical and monetarily).

The only problem is that he...well... doesn't really know what a healthy relationship looks like, seeing as his mama was never in one. Before his pa left (when he was two), he would beat his mama and siblings. Though LoveSick!Athlete doesn't really remember, as was just a babe at the time, y'know?

After that, his mama never stayed in one relationship for very long, besides him mama also wasn't the most stable person. She had BPD (Bipolar disorder), so she'd always have high highs and low low, never staying emotionally stable. Though LoveSick!Athlete doesn't have BPD, he did inherit some of his mama's habits, from watching her maneuver in her relationships.

Her habits imprinted on him, and let's just say that they weren't the healthiest thing in the world. This is where he got his good manipulation skills. At this point in his life, LoveSick!Athlete absentmindingly will use manipulation to get what he wants. Love bombing and gaslighting seem to be his main tactics he uses on others. (if people want to know more, then I'm totally open to an in-depth of his crappy childhood)

Tears: How do they feel about seeing their darling scream, cry, and/or isolate themselves?

Refer to letter R for this)))

Unique: Would they do anything different from the classic yandere

Noun. yandere (plural yanderes) (chiefly Japanese fiction) A character, usually a girl, who has an obsessive and possessive side in regards to their crush, ready to use violent and murderous means to maintain an exclusive bond. This is what google defines as a yandere and I'm going to use this as my basis for this question. Now, LoveSick!Athlete differs from this definition in the last part. He doesn't really resort to violent or murderous tendencies, instead using his manipulation skills to keep you close.

He doesn't feel the need to get violent, seeing as he's the best (in his mind). Don't get me wrong, he will if he needs to, but usually not.

I suppose that's something makes him different. Another thing is that he's very, very lenient with his darling, never putting too many boundaries on their shoulders. In his mind, he's in a normal relationship with you, meaning he doesn't need to act super crazy. Though he won't hesitate to take this privileges away from you, so just behave like a good girl, yeah?

Vice: What weakness can their darling exploit in order to escape?

The fact that he let's you go out into put freely or, more so, how many privileges you get. It's really easy to escape, no joke. But the only problem is that he has connections. Though he's only in college, and he's young, he has a lot of connections through his athletic scholarship and such. He knows a lot of people, due to his charisma (or rizz lol) and they're all under his thumb.

So it's easy to get out, but staying out is the hard part 'cause he'll hunt you like a dog on a misson.

Wit’s end: Would they ever hurt their darling?

Maybe he'll grip you too tight or give ya' a little spanking (if you know what I mean pffttt), but he'd never lay a hand on you. He wouldn't cut you, stab you, or anything like that. Nope. He watched his mama get hurt far too many times.

He just wants to be your protector, not your abuser. Though he can get a little out of hand. If you were to ever accuse him, or just plainly call his a woman beater, abuser, etc. etc. then he'll go a little... crazy?

He wants to feel needed, loved, and cared for, so if you start going on about how you don't need him, then he may be a tiny bit mad. Situations like the ones I talked about in letter H will happen far more often if you take this sentiment.

If you don't realize that you need him, then he might need to make you realize it. Of course, he won't be touching you so violently, but that doesn't mean he won't get someone else to do it for him.

Xoanon: How much would they revere or worship their darling? To what length would they go to win their darling over?

He doesn't worship his darling, but he does respect you. He sees you as his equal. If he didn't, then he wouldn't even be pursuing you. He wouldn't be spending so much time tyring to get with, going through all the work to infiltrate your life, and make you notice him. He doesn't have time for that, but he's making time just. for. you.

Now, how far would he go for you? I don't think he'd murder someone, he'd just rough them up, make them know their place. He doesn't really do violence, preferring public humiliation and underhanded tactics. He'll threaten people, blackmail them, and just plain gaslight them. He won't go any farther than that, unless he's provoked I suppose. Like if it's a dire situation where you, or him, need defending, then he's more than capable of putting a guy six feet under.

Yearn: How long do they pine after their darling before they snap?

As long as it takes, baby. He's young, you're young, you're both young. You guys have time to waste, time to life and such. You're both in college, so he thinks that he's got time to convince you, to reel you into his arms.

I've said this previously, but he's very patient. He's willing to wait if it's for you. But something that would make him snap is if you try to move away, though this won't push him to kidnap your necessarily, it'll just put him on edge. He'll begin to be more forward with his advances if this were to happen.

Zenith: Would they ever break their darling?

Accidently? Maybe. Purposefully? God, no. I'm even skeptical about the accident part, I don't think he can break you. He's far to calm and gentle of a yandere to break his darling.

You'd have to get him really, really mad for something drastic to happen. Even then, compared to other yanderes, it's not even that bad. Or that's what he tells you at least.

[elysiansparadise]

Their mind is a wonderful world, their personality charming and charismatic and a shy heart capable of helping and supporting those close to them.

Aquarius Rising: Unique and loyal friend

These people grew up with an idea, to be different from everything they got used to seeing in their day to day. They could have grown up seeing many things that they didn't like, which could lead them to do things their own way and they could have difficulties with some people of authority because of it. A feeling of not fitting in either with your family or with people your age, which led you to fully appreciate when you felt that click with someone, being one of the companies, the most constant, fun and accepting. Your autonomy and independence are the most important things to you, you are always looking to forge your own path and leave your mark on whatever you are passionate about.

Although money is necessary to survive in our world, people with Pisces in the 2nd house tend to have a different approach to economic issues. They will not hesitate to use that money to help other people, coming to show many altruistic touches from a young age. They should learn to balance what they give and what they receive, because it is likely that on occasions they sin out of kindness and lend or give money to people who they will never return. Many of them may have a tendency to spend their money on their hobbies, especially if these are linked to art or esotericism, and sometimes they may feel that they spend money as fast as it comes into their hands. Their creativity and originality is something that gives them that confidence boost, it's something they feel proud of themselves. Something I have noticed is that they seem to have a unique and very close appreciation of art, especially music. Feeling that they can do things their own way, that they are not tied to something or someone gives them a sense of security, as well as the power to create whatever their mind wants. As it is a house linked to self-esteem, it can tell us about a certain variability in it, a lot of modesty on the part of the native and not knowing how to react to compliments, and although they do not know how, they will treasure it with great affection. They value things that are a little deeper, they don't like superficialities of any kind and they will always look for what seems most sincere and significant to them.

The mind of those with Aries in the 3rd house is admirable. Independent and quick thinking, these natives are people who remain firm to their own ideals, opinions and do not seek to please others, they seek autonomy in its maximum splendor. They are excited by the idea of ​​connecting with people who, just like them, have a mind of their own, one that is not biased by pleasing people behaviors or attitudes. They easily fascinate others, because they say what they think without fear of what might happen, they are firm and blunt with what they say, with a quick intellect capable of quickly understanding ideas of any kind. They have a tendency to be easily distracted and lose interest after doing something for a long time, they constantly seek mental stimuli and that is precisely what makes them have very varied interests. They are very ingenious people when it comes to making comments, they stand out for their great sense of humor, since this is random and capable of seeming hilarious to anyone. A mixture of reasoning and humor. They love the idea of ​​constantly learning new things, and if possible, doing it on their own, as it is something they enjoy doing more independently. In the case of having siblings, the relationship can oscillate between being dynamic and fun and having many differences with them, they are not usually very attached or demonstrative to each other but they can support each other when necessary.

With Taurus in the 4th house it is very likely that the native sees his home as something monotonous in some sense, the same environment, the same discussions, everything seems to have been the same for the natives. Something that absolutely all these natives grow up with is the desire to have something stable in their lives, to finally have a home that gives them peace and conformity, and when they finally find something that gives them that stability and tranquility, they don't let go easily. Somehow their environment influenced that need to protect what is theirs, to keep the things that they consider important and not to show vulnerability so easily. And it's not that they aren't emotional, on the contrary, they are very emotional, it's just that they reserve a large part of their feelings. This Taurus overlay also indicates that they may feel closer to one of their parents than to the other, since with the latter they tend to feel some distance or even distrust in some cases. Those who really know them will know that they can be very stable people in their relationships, people who fill their loved ones with details and security, as well as being reliable people who will always try to be there for those they love, either to listen to them or advise them. In order for them to feel emotional comfort, closeness with those they love is crucial, even if their adventurous and inquisitive personality encourages them and makes them attract changes, they do not like changes as much as is often rumored, stability and trust are things that they treasure and irregular or inconstant displays of affection cause them disgust.

Mercury ruling the 5th house is something very fascinating that brings many interesting suitors to the natives. Having Gemini in the 5th house makes the native master the language of seduction, makes them very adept at flirting and realising the true intentions of the people who want them, they are very observant and attentive to the actions of those who say they have an interest in them and are not fooled by them. Many different people can be attracted to them, because there is a playful and jovial beauty in them. Despite this appearance, these natives do not mince words and games, they are looking for a mental connection, someone to talk to for hours and someone who knows how to keep their attention. In terms of hobbies, many of them may like to read romance or drama novels, they will enjoy movies of these genres and even comedy ones, and of course, they can be excellent writers, especially if they have a metaphorical or poetic way of writing. From a very young age they begin to consider whether or not they want to have children, and regardless of what they choose, these natives tend to connect very well with children and have that facility to understand and communicate with them.

Having Cancer in the 6th house, that is, the house of health, it is necessary for the native to work a lot in their emotional world, since many of them may have this tendency to get sick due to some emotional discomfort that is projected on a physical level. Many of them may not sleep due to stress or intrusive thoughts, just as they may have irregular eating periods due to their emotional state. Many of them seem to understand very well the needs and emotions of other beings, both human and animal. Since I mentioned it, you can feel very close to animals and they will always be kind, loving and helpful to them, even if they are not your pets. These people seek to work for a specific reason, often a cause or a goal, and it is unlikely that they decide to dedicate to something just because they will be paid well, they seek to feel comfortable with their work and do something that they really like, and feel that it is of some use to them and to others. It is likely that these natives get bored doing household chores and may procrastinate doing them, considering them very boring and monotonous. Something very common in them is constantly doing things they used to do as children, whether it's watching the same movies they loved so much or listening to songs that take them back to moments they treasure. They may have a tendency to melancholy and some mood swings.

These people do not seek to be like someone, they seek to be themselves and do things their way, which makes them stand out from the crowd and attract attention. Leo in the 7th house manifests itself as a charming and charismatic person even if the native himself does not perceive himself that way. Very protective and stable people in their relationships, this without neglecting the fun and joy that they seek to bring to those they love the most. Despite this, the natives could feel invisible to others who claimed to love them, therefore, what they seek in a relationship is attention, perseverance and a noble heart willing to love them as much and with the intensity with which they love themselves. They make clear that they don’t need someone to be happy, and they seem to be okay without any partner, but sometimes it can be due to the fear of becoming dependent or loving a person who will leave them. They give their partners that passion for living, reasons to smile and lots of love. They are capable of making their loved one feel the most attractive person in the world, as well as the luckiest. They will always look for the happiness of both as a couple, and they will seek to support their partner unconditionally. They tend to get carried away more by their emotions when they are in a relationship and they will always take care of that love that brings so much euphoria to their lives. Lucky to attract the attention of others. This placement indicates that the native can marry a passionate, ambitious person who will make their love for them very evident.

There is too much going on in their internal world, and that is what we will explore through Virgo in the 8th house. Many of them struggle with this tendency to overthink things, from why what happens in their lives happens, to why people have certain attitudes towards them [whether good or bad]. These people may have felt that at some point in their life they were being asked to be perfect, whether it was their family, friends or even themselves who wanted to achieve perfection because they felt that there was something wrong with themselves. Being ruled by Mercury, it enhances the curiosity of the native, who will love to talk and discover all those topics that seem interesting to him. They tend to be very interested in things that many others find strange, taboo or very complex. They tend to be attracted to intelligent and mysterious people with a cunning sense of humor. Since we are talking about attraction, we must say that these people may seem aloof or indifferent, but they carry a great sexual desire that is simply subtle in the eyes of others. This independent personality that anyone would notice about them is what is often seen as irresistible to others. The subject of domination can be something very attractive for them [either dominating or being dominated], in addition, they seek to satisfy all the fantasies of their partner in various ways and find pleasure through the pleasure of their partner.

Sometimes what seems different or very distant to us can be terrifying, but it is not the case of these natives, who are fascinated and enchanted even with the small details of other cultures or countries. Libra in the 9th house gives them the ability to appreciate different types of beauty and to connect harmoniously with many kinds of people regardless of their origin. They are enchanted by the idea of ​​knowing the unknown, of being able to have the opportunity to travel and see those places that have always caught their attention. Art is something very beautiful to them, they are in awe of art and it would not be surprising that many of them do some kind of art as a hobby. They are interested in social issues around the globe, and have a strong belief that we are all and should be treated equally. Justice is something very important to them and they always stand up when witnessing situations of injustice. This placement can indicate studying something related to humanities, design, art or even law. The union is something crucial for them, and although they have a strong individuality, they understand that unity is strong and necessary on many occasions, they will be willing to help people who need it. They teach other people the beauty and joy that sharing time or thoughts with someone can bring, likewise many people may feel that these natives are experts in connecting and understanding others no matter how different they may be.

There is something fascinating running through the aura of these natives and the person responsible for this is Scorpio in the 10th house. There is something about them that makes them fascinating in the public eye, something magnetic that makes you unable to take your eyes off them and the more you see their look, the more reasons it gives you to keep watching. They draw attention quite easily, as they are a mix of mystery and sexyness, standing a few feet from you but feeling so far away at the same time. These natives can have somewhat of a mixed reputation, while some view them as unapproachable, others may describe them as controversial, whether due to their unconventional ideals, actions, or simply labelling them. These natives seek to project themselves as strong and unbreakable people, they dislike feeling that they have revealed a lot about themselves or that they have shown themselves to be vulnerable in some way. Mars and Pluto rule this house, the career house, so you are blessed with the ambition of both planets, as well as perseverance and leadership skills. You can suggest that they will work on something in which they have a leadership position, where they make important decisions or that allows them to transform or make big changes in some area.

Sagittarius in the 11th house can give us many interesting interpretations. The first is that once conversing with them, these natives can seem more sociable than they really are. Many of them know how to have fun, and have that unique ability to light up the atmosphere of the site and the mood of others, however they give a very special meaning to the term "friendship" and that is that although it is crucial for them to know someone with whom they share points of view and a sense of humour, they seek loyal and deep company, with whom they can ask to talk about many topics no matter how deep or personal they are. This house is ruled by Jupiter, so it augurs charisma, charm and popularity [whether in real life or on the internet], likewise, it also indicates that through their work they can make a lot of profit [especially if Jupiter it's here or in earth houses]. The person can get a lot of luck through working with others. They can have that facility to create friends through the internet or with whom there is a lot of physical distance. They are very visionary people with many long-term plans, it is likely that they work on many things or projects simultaneously, we must mention that there is a probability that some of these natives procrastinate.

With Capricorn in the 12th house there is friction between you and the world around you, very subtle for them, but one that presses on your chest and hits your mind every time you interact with someone. A part of you wants to connect with others and forge lasting bonds with lots of people, but memories of a lonely past where attempts were crushed by feelings of not fitting in and being judged have made you shut down and forget the idea, that dream of clicking with people. Showing yourself in control of the situation, even of yourself but deep down you fear. Fears, it's something we all have... but what about you? What can a being as sublime as you fear? Falling into a routine, doing what others tell you to do, or feeling like you can't forge your path seems terrifying. But if there is something that you fear more often than this, it’s having even the slightest proof of failure, the fear of taking a wrong step that will bring down your efforts, feeling that there is no reward for working hard. You want to stand out and feel like you are successful, being just yourself, you could be compared a lot in the past either by others or by your younger self, so you developed the need to do things on your own, the way that you want and of course, being someone unique. Burdened with guilt, emotions and a negative perception of yourself that you try to supply and alleviate by achieving great things and living up to the high expectations you set for yourself. If you only knew that your mere presence, that your actions, your dreamy side, your ambitions and how you pursue them are truly inspiring to those around you. "Be the person you would have liked to have by your side." Many times you felt alone, especially when things fell apart, but you know that you don't want to be that for others. The people who are with you feel capable of achieving whatever they want to achieve because they have your support, they have your vision, and most importantly, you are there. You do not need to prove yourself to anyone, not even to yourself, you are a person deserving of good things and good company. Future doesn’t have to be the way your past was, it’s going to be alright, love.

[lilislegacy]

I'm not a big fan of Percabeth. But, I'm still open to see different sides of a thing. So, I would like to ask what do you see in the couple? What made you like Percabeth? Was the ship important to you when you were a child/teenager? Can you list the positive things that you may remember about Percabeth, please? If you can't, it's okay too. For the last one: What is the thing you love the most about them?

Oh my god I could go on and on about this question. I will try to keep it as short as possible. Basically, I just love how deep their relationship goes. There are so many things about them that makes them such an incredible pairing to me

1. There is so much mutual respect and support between them. They are battle partners. They respect each other's strengths and capabilities to the highest degree. Annabeth deeply values Percy's bravery and loyalty, while Percy deeply values and admires Annabeth's intelligence and strategic thinking. They support each other no matter what. No one respects Annabeth more than Percy, and no one respects Percy more than Annabeth. They trust one another explicitly. And that deep-rooted trust and respect is what separates them from so many other pairings.

2. They perfectly complement each other. Their contrasting personalities balance each other out so beautifully. Percy is impulsive and unpredictable, and Annabeth is thoughtful and strategic, which makes them an incredibly strong team. In any situation, whatever one of them lacks, the other has in abundance. Percy gets angry and worked up easily, but Annabeth can calm him down. Annabeth overthinks things and stresses herself out, but Percy can simplify things and bring her back down to earth. They keep each other level on a deep mental/emotional level. And the biggest one, in my opinion: Annabeth’s biggest fear is being betrayed and abandoned, and Percy’s defining trait is unwavering loyalty. They are like two different puzzle pieces that fit perfectly together.

3. They’ve been through so much togeher. The two of them share a history that no one else could possibly understand. They have learned and grown so much together. They started going on dangerous quests together when they were little baby 12 year olds, and have been fighting by each other’s side ever since. From going on quests, to being part of a prophecy, to dealing with the complexities of their identities as demigods, the challenges they’ve faced have impacted them both tremendously. And no one else would understand exactly why they’re the way they are. And you know, there’s the fact that they literally walked through hell together. Their experiences deepen their connection and understanding of each other more than words can describe. No one else could possibly understand them like they understand each other.

4. The chemistry is off the charts. The heat and attraction between them is abundantly clear, which adds a layer of realism and excitement to their relationship. In PJO it’s mainly tension - that’s clear in their banter and arguments and angsty thoughts - but when they’re older and together, it’s shown more through attraction and physical affection. Let me give some examples. When Annabeth touched his back in TLO, Percy says he feels as if jolts of electrify course through his body. In the demigod diaries, Percy mentions how beautiful she looks while in combat. There’s also a scene where he can’t focus because he’s literally staring at how her camp beads lay against her throat. Annabeth is constantly wanting to hug him and be in his arms. When she sees him in MoA, she literally has to restrain herself from continuously kissing him. And when they are about to fall into tartarus, to either death or torture, her dominating thought is how handsome he looks. Throughout all of HoO, they are super touchy and affectionate with each other, always touching and cuddling and kissing one another whenever they can. And of course, I have to mention the time that they literally made out in front of Piper in BoO, and Annabeth makes “grunt-whimper” sounds. I just love how down bad for each other they are. No one who can read can deny it. There is so much heat and attraction and affection between them.

5. Their loyalty to each other is unwavering. They consistently prioritize each other's well-being over anything and anyone else. They always have each other’s backs, both in battle and verbal interactions. They quite literally go across the country/world to find each other when they each get kidnapped. No distance, no person, nothing will stop them from finding each other and protecting each other.

6. They are equals. Given they are both legendary greek heroes who will go down in olympian history, it’s hard to find someone who compares. But they are both so equally extraordinary. Sure, they have different strengths, but neither is better than the other. They are both incredibly brave. They are both super witty. They both would do anything for their friends. They are both leaders. They just GET each other. They are on another level - and it’s the exact same level.

There’s more too. I could go on and on and on. (And on.) There is so much I didn’t say. But all of those elements combined is why I love them. They were made to love one another. They choose to love each other, every single moment of every day.

And my favorite thing? Probably that above all, they are best friends. There are all the things I mentioned above, but at the foundation of their relationship is an unwavering friendship. They just love being together. They love joking around together and hanging out, but also holding each other when times are rough. They take care of each other. I love that they are BFFs. Two besties who also happen to be soulmates, together against the world.

Ugh I just love them. I need to stop talking

[transmutationisms]

Genuine question here, how can we increase patient autonomy and handle psychiatric medication for people who are disabled to a point where communication and understanding medication schedules would be difficult? I think a lot of people in my circles have gotten to a point of understanding, yes, anti-psychs can be more detrimental to patients with no positives when talking about a person with psychosis in their 20s who is somewhat able to manage themselves, but have difficulty parsing what would be best in the case of an older person with a neurodigenerative disease, and as someone who is at risk for developing Alzheimer's, I'm not sure what patient autonomy would look like for myself at that stage of life.

alright so, the question of how to increase patient autonomy for those who are mentally incapacitated in various ways is a legitimate one -- this has been a problem in paediatric and geriatric medicine for reasons both social and biological, and also affects disabled/injured/sick people of any age.

the assumption you've attached, though, is that 'antipsychotics' (neuroleptics) are actually in a patient's best interest, and that therefore it might be justified to administer them without consent in cases where it cannot be obtained. this is just incorrect and tells me you didn't read any of the links in my other posts about neuroleptics. these are not drugs that 'cure' 'psychosis' -- they are drugs that used to be marketed as 'chemical lobotomies' for a reason! they are unsafe in the long and short term, and are administered because they make patients compliant (incapacitated, numbed out, chemically dependent). the question of consent is just moot here imo.

to touch on the general question: usually with patients who are unable to consent, what is supposed to happen involves a mix of designated legal representatives, loved ones who are present, professional patient advocates, and the patient's own advance directives. my opinion (& this is common among disability advocates) is that doctors are often overeager to decide patients cannot consent, and will talk over/about them rather than taking the time to try communicating with them in ways they can understand. a person's own legal representation or the hospital's patient advocates sometimes help bridge this gap, but many times these people are also nakedly ableist, and fundamentally it's ableism that is exacerbating this tension.

obviously there will also always be some cases where it's simply impossible to get consent from the patient themself (for example, my uncle had a pituitary tumour that made him suddenly and irreversibly experience a total break from reality, resolved only after his wife consented to surgery on his behalf) -- in those cases, yeah, medicine sometimes means intervening without a direct yes from the patient. but the reality is that many people who are currently considered unable to communicate, choose, or advocate for themselves are in fact capable of a trying to do those things -- they're simply not being granted that right in current social/economic conditions. this often includes people dealing with neurodegenerative conditions btw -- these are incredibly difficult conditions, i won't pretend otherwise, but it is a myth that they completely and instantly rob a person of all ability to formulate preferences about medical treatment or quality of life, or to express those preferences.

[yesimwriting]

Of Angels

Part 2 of Of Angels (part 1)  

A/n we're back! also this is a friendly reminder that this isn't supposed to be exactly like the movie/book, some things will be a little different bc of practicality, my ability to remember things, or just for fun/for me bc i have more fun writing when i can change things up

Summary: After the very public slight of being assigned to mentor a female tribute from a lower district, all Snow can think about is the uphill battle that winning the Plinth prize will now be. Until, he realizes, that he's been given the first ever district volunteer who seems to have a quality that makes people care about her.

----

The potential consequences of Coriolanus's mistake don't fully manage to force their way to the front of his mind until the door clicks shut.

He's thrown himself, locked himself, in a contained space with the most savage and aggravated group of people in the Capitol. Just in an attempt to get you to trust him.

Coriolanus turns around as casually as he can manage, "Hello."

Unwashed faces blink up at him. Their expressions start off as blank, slowly but surely hardening as they take in his clothing and presence. Someone from the Capitol that isn't a peacekeeper.

One of the larger tributes begins to walk forward. The others glare at him, watching him with a silent rage that makes the space feel like it's shrinking.

The largest of them gets so close that Coriolanus has to push his body towards the vehicle's door. "Give me one reason I shouldn't kill you."

"Do you have any family back home?" The voice isn't strong, but it's so steady despite its smallness that one could mistake it for certainty. Despite the threat that stands in front of him, Coriolanus's attention instinctually shifts towards you. "Or any friends? Maybe a puppy you're fond of?" Your fingers are curled around the edge of the bench you're sitting on. "They'll kill them."

Your tone is too neutral for you to be speaking from personal experience, and yet, you sound so sure. Coriolanus wonders if there's something there worth digging into. Maybe it's just a byproduct of where you're from, a district that's prone to rebellion is often warned about what disobedience can lead to.

The tribute cornering him doesn't move away, but he stills, stiff and uncertain. You look between them innocently. "Besides, he's my mentor." Your hands loosen their grip on the edge of the bench, you push yourself to stand. "I might need him."

"Men-tle?" Another voice chimes in.

"Mentor."

"How come you get a mentor?" The tribute questioning Coriolanus's presence in association to you twists their neck to glare at you.

"You all get one," he forces the sentence out quickly. The last thing he needs to do is make you a target. Getting you to live is going to be enough of an uphill battle as is.

The tribute closest to him takes another intimidating step forward. "He's lying."

"She's the girl that volunteered," the red-headed girl from four--Coral, if he's remembering correctly--sneers, angling her head to glare at you, "Of course they need to keep an eye on her." She then dips her chin downwards, staring you down with mockingly soft eyes, "Is it everything you thought it'd be, princess?"

Volunteering did mark you. He wonders how many remarks you had to put up with on the way here and whether or not they've affected your mental state. The short exchange the two of you shared made you seem together. You weren't overly emotionally or even aggressively closed off.

The determined pout of your lips draws his attention more than it should. You then tilt your head with no warning, matching her condescending expression, "Better, actually."

You draw out the sentence, not once shrinking under District 4's cold stare. Coriolanus's expression instinctively shifts to hint at a smile. Your sarcasm isn't off putting or brash, it's refreshing. It's a flash of fight, of sharp teeth ready to be barred that he hadn't thought you capable of.

The display of potential aggression also doesn't affect your charm at all. Being able to strike back while still holding onto the appearance of kindness is a skill in itself. Coriolanus has to take everything on the cheek publicly to avoid coming off like a starving dog finally snapping.

Those kinds of remarks won't do you any favors in the arena unless you're the kind of person that has the physical strength or skill to back it up. You don't. It's more than just your stature, it's in the way you carry yourself. But still, maybe you'll be entertaining enough under this new structure to score him some points towards the Plinth prize. That is, if he can get you to trust him, if he can convince you to talk about your relationship with your cousin and maybe flash that smile you gave him when you first met for the cameras.

Coral's glare intensifies. She pushes herself to stand, as if to intimidate you, but before she can fully straighten, the world shifts.

Coriolanus doesn't have time to think. He's sliding--falling--back before he knows what's happening. A few of the tributes yelp, one of the younger ones squeaks. Something warm latches itself onto his wrist.

He blinks, his body finally reattaching itself to his mind. The vehicle opened and started dumping out its contents with no warning. In the panic, you had grabbed him.

The vehicle settles, anyone managing to hold onto the metal door looses their hold. Everyone tumbles down a small slope, a mess of bodies bumping into each other when they're not busy hitting the edge of rocks until they land in a heap on the ground.

Coriolanus sits up as soon as his back hits something solid. His head snaps around, taking in his surroundings. The space is made up of jagged, tan rocks coated in dirt. Bars line the perimeter--a cage. This is a cage. Of course following the animals leads to ending up in a cage.

Self disgust and panic knot oddly in his stomach. He stands before he can think of what comes next.

"And here we have them, the tributes for the 10th annual Hunger Games."

His eyes find the people already flocking the bars, the most notable one of them someone he's familiar with. Lucky Flickerman, a usual Capitol programming personality. This, his public humilation, is being streamed on television.

"Oh, and look--" Lucky turns towards him, the cameraman instinctually moving to get him into frame. Lucky turns back to the camera, addressing his audience, "I don't think he's supposed to be in there." He laughs then, the sound jabbing at Coriolanus's side.

An aggravated heat begins to burn through is chest. There's nowhere to duck, no excuse to remedy what he's done to the Snow family name.

"Hey." He blinks, surprised he didn't immediately jump out of his skin. How you stood up so silently is beyond him.

Coriolanus can't think of a way to respond. Here he is, in a cage on display with you, like he's one of the district born, and you're the one attempting to ease him. Confidence, assurance. That's what he should be providing you so that you feel the need to--

You place your hand over his. The contact runs just as hot as the humiliation searing through him, only, this is a different kind of warmth. A much steadier, much more agonizing sort of warmth.

His eyes finally find yours. You look more tousled than before, one of your hair ribbons missing and dirt smeared against the apple of your cheek. "Own it."

You whisper the instruction so confidently it almost feels like this is natural to you. Owning it does feel better than being consumed by his embarrassment and accepting the destruction of his family name, but part of the steadiness comes from you. The realization that you're capable of that claws at him.

He nods, eyes instinctually dropping to avoid your expectant stare. The white rose is still safely held between your fingers. He stretches a hand forward, taking the flower by its stem. Your eyebrows draw together, but you let him. Coriolanus breaks off the end of the stem and carefully tucks the flower behind your ear.

You hold still, even as he takes the time to smooth your hair into place.

"Well, that's not something you see every day." Lucky's voice snaps him out of it.

Coriolanus takes you by the arm, walking you up to the camera's. He keeps his expression as casually bright as possible. "I'm Coriolanus Snow."

"And who is she?"

He expects to have to answer that, but you give him your full name without missing a beat, your voice smooth and sweet like honey. "And who are you?"

The cameraman lets out a small laugh at your confusion. "Be nice," Lucky mumbles, "Not everyone has a TV." He then turns back to you, "I'm Lucky Flickerman, Capitol weatherman, TV personality..."

"Well, it's nice to meet you," Lucky says into his microphone, "You're the girl who volunteered."

Coriolanus watches your reaction as best he can from his peripheral vision. Your lips pull downwards slightly. There's something almost sad about it, but it's done in such a respectable manner that he can't imagine anyone minding it.

You confirm with a slight nod of your head, "Yes."

Lucky takes the microphone back, "Now why would you do a thing like that?"

For the first time, a hint of cracking presents itself in your expression. It's minor, just the pull of your eyebrows, but he can't help but hold his breath as he waits for your reply. "For my cousin."

"And she's back home, right? You're from 12?"

You nod again, the motion small, "Yes. She's with my mother, her aunt."

"Well, that was a very brave thing," he commends, almost surprisingly serious, "Not many people are willing to die in someone's place." Your expression wavers, Lucky moves on before it can matter. "And you're?"

"Coriolanus Snow," he says smoothly, "I'm a student at the Academy."

"And you were...told to come here?"

Coriolanus breezes past the speculation in Lucky's tone, "I was told to present my tribute."

Lucky nods, turning on the easy, camera ready smile, "And present her you did."

"Excuse me," a tiny voice mumbles. You instinctually look down. A girl that can't be much more than maybe 7-years-old, "Who was the girl you volunteered for?"

You blink at the loaded question, "Uh--she's my cousin, and her name is Marigold, we--we call her Mari." The little girl blinks at you, watching you like you're something foreign. Which, he guesses, you technically are. "And you know what? She kinda looked like you when she was little."

The little girl beams, "I like your bows."

"Thank you," you hum brightly, like the compliment truly does mean the world to you.

You unlink your arm from his. Coriolanus watches you unsurely as you reach both hands to the side of your hair. You pull at the ribbon on one side of your head, unraveling it expertly. "Would you like one?"

The girl beams, nodding her head enthusiastically. You lean forward so that you're about eye level with the girl. You hand her the short piece of ribbon. The girl giggles before running off with her prize.

"Aw, isn't that cute?" Lucky's speaking to the camera as he starts to walk forward, "Come down, folks, and see these tributes before it's too late. And I do mean, too late."

Lucky disappears, walking as he continues to talk to his audience.

"You gave her your..." He gestures in the general direction of where the ribbon had previously sat.

You shrug, "Oh, I think the other one fell out on the way here. They're impractical, but I didn't--I didn't think I'd be in them for so long."

There's something he should say to you. Probably something comforting, assuring.

"Okay." The stern voice of a peacekeeper. Coriolanus should have known that it was only a matter of time. One of them clasps his shoulder, the other grabs his arm. "You're not supposed to be in here."

He's pushed back before he can speak to you. "Okay," he mumbles, "I'm go--"

You grab his arm before he can obey, "Bring us food." The words are hard, urging, "Please, I haven't eaten anything since before the reaping."

He nods once, pausing long enough to force the peacekeeper to push him back again. Coriolanus starts walking, flanked by the peacekeepers, his eyes trained on what's directly in front of him.

As they pass where the group had initially landed, his eyes find a bright speck of ivory white. A hint of brightness hidden by rocky dirt and grime. Your ribbon.

Coriolanus wonders if it's something you'd want back, something you'd spend your time searching for. You already gave away the other one, it can't have mattered that much. It's likely just some repurposed scrap.

He doesn't know what he's doing as he bends down under the guise of adjusting his shoelace. He's not sure what his goal is until his hand reaches forward, grabbing the ribbon.

"Okay," one of the peacekeepers hurries him, bending down to place a forceful hand on his shoulder, "Hurry up."

----

His apartment is heavy with silence. His grandma'am and Tigris have been asleep for hours now, resting the way he should be.

It's everything that's happened today. That's what's stealing sleep from him. There's a lot to do, a lot to think about if he's going to pull this off and win the Plinth prize. There's an uncertain charm about you. It's as if you have a greater understanding of what it's like to be civilized than the rest of them. That's something to work with, isn't it?

You mentioned needing to eat. Another obstacle that his financial predicaments have placed in his way. He'll have to take a risk he's taken so rarely--taking food from the Academy's lunch in order to bring you something. You'll be of no use to anyone if you faint in the arena.

There's more to think about, to plan. He could stop by tomorrow after his usual classes if Dr. Gaul doesn't orchestrate any specifics. And maybe even then. It'd be ideal to convince you that he cares about you more than any of the mentors care about their tributes. The more you think he's working for you, the more you'll work for him.

That's why he's awake. He shifts, moving from his back to resting on his side. All of this, all thoughts and analysis of you, are extremely practical.

He wipes at his eyes, forcing himself to sit up. He finds his discarded uniform, left folded neatly on his small desk. Without thinking, Coriolanus reaches deep into the uniform's pocket, digging through it until his fingers brush against something smooth and cool. He pulls out the partially stained, ivory ribbon. Truly practical.

----

Taglist (tagging people who were asking about part 2, if this is annoying, i'm so sorry pls lmk if you don't want to be tagged) : @juleshaters @cosmicsully @edb954 @h-l-vlovesvintage @darknessdevil25 @mavkaorlova @astarborntowrite @karmaswitch @daughter1of2anita3dearly @zucchinimalfoy @madislayyy @weaponb33 @darlingisntit @deamus-liv @etheriaaly @clintsupremacy @spookyconsultingcriminal @dylanstilinskiposts