#and how that affects a person's mental capabilities

[actual-exhusbands]

I think I'd like a mix of all options:

Aaron starts a relationship with someone before Robert returns. Both Aaron and his bf are happy together. After a few months Robert is released and moves into Vic's. Robert has developed agoraphobia so stays in the house all the time. Vic is nervous to update Aaron so keeps Robert a secret. Eventually, Aaron needs to nip into Vic's home for something only to discover his ex-husband. Whilst stunned, Aaron walks straight back out saying nothing. He marches back to his flat and lets his silence turn to anger and he stews before confronting Victoria. Hours later, his new boyfriend pops by for a visit but before Aaron could invite him in he spots Vic over his bf's shoulder walking home from work. He shoves his way out of his porch and makes a beeline for Vic. He starts yelling after her making all sorts of claims out of his fury. Robert, from the safety of Vic's cottage peeks out from a curtain to see what all the noise is. He sees Aaron shouting abuse and, for the first time since returning to the village, steps out into the main street for all to see.

Aaron turns his aggression towards Robert. Aaron starts to accuse Robert of being a liar and a cold blooded murderer thinking his words will cut Robert deep like Robert's desertion did to him 5 years ago. Robert becomes aware of the villagers who are watching from the other side of the street. Terrified to attempt to defend himself. He spots Wendy and is suddenly filled with utmost guilt. Unfortunately, Roberts silence only heightens Aaron's rage. Before he could say anything, Aaron charges at Robert and tackles him to the ground. Aaron is now pinning Robert down whilst screaming all his emotions out; tears streaming down his face. A large audience has now formed The Dingles all exchange glances and looks of concern towards each other. Moments later, Aaron's boyfriend tries to break them apart with the help from Vic but to no avail. Chas and Moira shoot a sharp look towards Cain and eye him to go help break it up, too. Against his own judgement, Cain grabs Aaron by the scruff of the neck and drags him back to his flat. Paddy and Chas chase the rest of the crowd away as Vic helps Robert to his feet and chaperones him back into her cottage.

Weeks go by and Aaron refuses to make eye contact with Robert. He never once acknowledges Robert's presence. He doesn't want Robert to think he still cares. During this period he emphasises all romantic gestures with his boyfriend if Robert is in eyesight. However, Robert fails to take much notice as he's too concerned over the residents thoughts in regards to him living back in the village. The weeks turn to months and Robert's anxiety only grows as the days go by. Vic tries to help her brother by encouraging him out for a drink in the woolpack. Reluctantly, Robert agrees to go with her. They perch themselves by the bar closest to the door (so Robert can make a quick getaway), however, there is a stag do in full swing by the time they arrive and Aaron is a guest of the party as his boyfriend is the best man. Robert swivels around so quickly he nearly gives himself whiplash but Vic clutches on to his forearm preventing him from making an escape. Aaron's face turns to thunder as he enforced his attention away from Vic and Robert. His boyfriend is having too much fun to even notice the sudden change in Aaron's demeanor. Robert being fully aware of his ex husband being merely inches from him set his nerves off. Victoria made failed attempts to ease him by saying "it can't get any worse than this". Of course it then did get much worse.

At that exact moment Wendy and Bob walked into The Woolpack for a drink. It didn't take long for Wendy to loudly announce passive aggressive comments directed towards Robert to the whole pub. She stretched as far as to link Heath's death with her own son's death. Victoria was stuck in-between a rock and a hard place. She loves her brother but doesn't want to push Harry's grandmother away. Obviously all shots of mediation were ignored by Wendy and Bob and most of the new residents sided with them because of all the horror stories that were spread around about Robert. All of the chaos was increasing Robert's anxiety and he became more uncomfortable by the second. His nerves were shot. He couldn't concentrate on anything that Victoria was saying. The only thing that seemed to stabilise his mental stat was the sight of Aaron. Of course by this point every one in the room was staring at Robert, including Aaron. They locked eyes at each other for only a moment before Aaron dragged his eyes away to the beer mat on the table. That moment created peace in Robert's mind. The crash. Charity has dropped a glass but that sudden sound pushed Robert back over the edge. He darted for the door and escaped into the darkness. Victoria now found the courage to defend her brother against Wendy and the rest of the pub and shamed the stag do members. Pointing directly at each person to force guilt upon them. One person was missing from the party though. Aaron.

Amidst the pandemonium in The Woolpack, no one had noticed Aaron sneaking out the back of the pub to chase after Robert. Against all better judgement, he wanted to check on Robert. That shared glance sparked something in him. He just knew something wasn't right with Robert. After all, Robert never shied away from confrontation. He thrives in it. The opportunity to outsmart someone gave him a buzz. The Robert he knew would stand his ground and argue his case across until he won. The Robert in the pub wasn't his Robert.

Aaron knocked at Vic's home but there was no answer. There were no signs of life at all. He next ran down by the B&B to see if Robert was seeking refuge with Eric but there was no luck. He next searches the garage but stumbles upon Mac instead locking up for the night. Mac is about to ask Aaron how he's holding up but before he could get the question out Aaron runs off in the direction of Vanessa's. She was the only other person in the village to stand by Robert's return. He was hoping she would be hiding him from the entourage in the pub but, again, with no luck. Aaron is starting to get desperate. His concern quickly turned to uneasiness. He was starting to properly worry about Robert. He was rattling his brain for places he might be. His next bet was the cemetery. Aaron hated visiting there. Ghosts from his past were all buried there. All the ghosts he cared about that is. He sprinted down towards the church and jumped over the short wall. Scanned every corner with no Robert in sight. His eyes did fall onto one gravestone. Liv's. Suddenly, one memory of all three of them flooded his mind. That gave him an idea.

He scampered his way out of the cemetery and down the road until he got to the back of The mill. He followed a winding path that led to an opening of woodland. As he neared the opening he saw a shadow. An outline of someone. His speed slowed as he approached with caution. The closer he got the clearer the silhouette became. It was Robert. He was leaning on the handrail of the footbridge. The same footbridge Robert had embraced him on many a time in the past. The same footbridge the two would throw stones from with Seb. Robert looked deflated. There was no energy in him whatsoever. He looked like a bare copy of himself. This vulnerability tore down what was left of the little wall Aaron had built for himself to keep Robert out. Despite all the heartbreak and misery he had endured at the hands of Roberts actions here he was again. Willing to fall back into old habits but how could he stop himself?

Robert was blindly staring at his reflection in the stream. He failed to hear the approaching footsteps of Aaron. Gently, Aaron crossed his forearms and rested them on the same handrail inches next to Robert. He slowly peered over the edge and nestled his chin into his arms. Aaron gazed into Robert's eyes in the stream. Robert slowly scanned over to Aaron's reflection. Feeling that serenity brush over him once again at the mere glimpse of Aaron. Robert caught himself off guard by how hastily he confessed his anxiety about being back in the village. How he was sorry for how he ended their marriage. How he hated that he missed Liv's funeral. How he hates how quickly he threw his life away for one bad decision.

Robert sobs harder and harder for every admittance of all of his regrets and surrenders himself to his grief. Without any hesitation he lets slip the trauma he suffered whilst in prison. Knowing how hard life was for him when he was jailed away, Aaron throws one arm over Roberts shoulders and pulls him in closer. For the first time, Robert welcomes the physical embrace. They both relaxed into one another. They both clearly needed it. They both remain on the bridge quietly enjoying the stream shimmer in the moonlight.

After a while, Aaron and Robert break apart and gaze into each other's eyes. Robert opens his mouth to speak before Aaron interrupts him. "I told you I'd wait". Aaron spoke those words as though they were the magic key to freeing Robert. Relief fell upon Robert as though the heaviest weight had been lifted. He could breathe for the first time again. "Yeah?" Robert sighed with a slight smile stretching the corner of his mouth as his eyes glisten with hope. Aaron's face softens as he mimics Robert's expression. Without any hesitation or consideration Aaron leans in and kisses Robert. Hearts start to flutter but Robert jolts back pulling away from the kiss. They both stare towards each other before Robert returns his focus to the stream. Reality kicks in for him. "Don't!" Roberts whispers. A tear falling down his cheek. Robert doesn't feel worthy of Aaron's attention. He believes Aaron is better off without him. Everyone is better off without him. Robert turns his back to Aaron but before Robert can walk off Aaron grabs his arm "You can't keep walking out on me like that, Robert". Those very words killed the fluttering instantly. There was a sinking feeling like guilt was an anchor tied to his heart pulling it down. Aaron continued, "I know how hard it must've been in there but I would've stuck by you regardless. Helped you through it. I was willing to wait the whole 14 years because you were worth it. You are worth it." Aaron bit his lip as he realised what he'd just admitted out loud. The feelings he had been trying to compress. Robert, confused by Aaron's confession, stood teary eyed looking back at the man he so adored and yearned for feeling defeated. "But I'm not. I mean, I can't even step out the front door without fear of having a panic attack." Aaron remained baffled by this statement. How can Robert believe that? After everything. Aaron reaches out for Roberts arm and tilts his head ever so slightly that it draws Robert's stare back onto him. "You are to me". The words echoing those Robert once used for him. Robert also remembered the relevance of those specic words. Robert instinctively glanced down at Aaron's lips and back to his eyes. That was enough for Aaron to lean for a second kiss.

This time Robert kisses back and suddenly it's like they haven't been apart for the past 5 years. They fell back into their own natural rhythm with their bodies matching the other as they smoothly swayed from side to side. Aaron's hands travel to Robert's back holding him close as Roberts holds Aaron's face in his. Reluctantly, they pull away from each other only to rest their foreheads against one another. Aaron pulls his hands away from Roberts waist and traces his physique as they glide upwards his sides and across his chest. He lightly strokes down Roberts arms as he finds his hands, which are still cupping either side of Aaron's face, to take in his. They entwine their fingers as they relax their arms down by their sides. Foreheads still resting against one another fearing to break apart. Both wish to stay in this moment forever.

Thus, starting their second affair-era as Aaron will inevitably listen to his family who think getting back with Robert is a bad idea so will be guilt tripped into staying with this new boyfriend but will continue to rather seek out Robert for any true romantic connections.

Thank you. I am Eve and this has been my TED Talk.

Another poll, this time from Aaron's perspective!

I want to know how everyone feels! And please, there is no need to comment on whether Aaron would ever cheat or not, if you don't think that or want it, just choose another option 🙂 This is just for fun!

Reblog for wider spread if you fancy...

[minorfamilysupremacy]

disabled vegas is the most important vegas to me.

[nightfallsystem-moved]

u guys ever think about killing urself for everyone elses sake.

just so people wont have to go thru the annoyance of talking to me or the disgust of seeing my face so they can be happier by talking to their other friends instead of me so they dont have to deal with my actual fucking stupidity

[vanillesprincess]

how to fix being "ugly" once and for all

hello loves! I have just discovered Mae Alice Suzuki's youtube channel and I fear it is already changing my life!

I was watching her video and I decided to take a few notes so that I could make a blog post and read her tips whenever I needed it + share them

In the video, Mae explains how to stop being "ugly", and become a more beautiful person. Being "ugly" is not only about physical looks. First of all, I personally believe no one is actually ugly, but everyone has the potential, the right and the capability of reaching the best version of themselves!

Being "ugly" is about not feeling beautiful mentally, and it affects our physical body, environment and behavior. If you hate yourself, hate other people, engage in useless drama and you're always complaining about life and others, this might be for you.

Dear, you have to realize than if instead of improving yourself, you keep hating others... this is going against you. Beautiful people have a beautiful personality, first of all. This is what makes them beautiful.

the body attracts and reflects the ugly vibes, desperation, hatred you put out in the world

if you are convinced that you are ugly, you're realizing that assumption. this is no magic: if you're convinced of it, you probably will never even consider yourself potentially beautiful, you won't consider your body worthy of care, and you will never improve

So... time to change!

In order to change reality, you need to change your thoughts, which will help changing your habits.

Change your "I AM" mindset and speech: don't absorb negative energy of others and do not put out negative energy

Branding yourself as beautiful: you are BEAUTIFUL. own it. most people are not born ugly or beautiful, but people "brand" themselves as ugly or beautiful. believe you're beautiful and ACT LIKE IT!

Caring about yourself: this involves hygiene, diet. it's easy and simple. this is the basis

Own your natural self: think that you're beautiful, own it, and you will become beautiful without implementing unnatural change that is not authentic for you. being unnatural means you are insecure and afraid of yourself. the beauty standards change all the time, so you only actually need to be authentic and take care of yourself. this also means you will naturally become confident

Understand what works best for you: a lot of people that are attractive don't appear like so because they do not know what works best for them, they wear whatever is trendy even when it doesn't make them feel good by reflecting their personal style. Use, consume and wear what makes you feel good + fits you

You just need to learn: learn how to put make up on in strategic points, learn your best angles for pics, what works best for your body and face shapes

most importantly, looks are not everything. if you are not attracted to yourself, doesn't mean that people don't find you pretty. you just need to appreciate yourself more, really!

[randomness-is-my-order]

while i’m on the topic, it is very hilarious and also very insightful that mxtx actually plainly tells us how anyone else except wei wuxian would have fared without their golden cores/spiritual powers by putting thousand-plus cultivators in exactly that situation during the second siege. the way they all absolutely lose their shit, fumble around, lose coherence of thought, see-saw between decisions and become, essentially, helpless and useless is eye-opening. hell, jiang cheng ends up so affected that jin ling is able to manhandle him into the cave. the cultivators from the biggest clans aren’t able to come up with anything to save their asses and it takes shizui to point out the array for them to even consider it as an option. if wei wuxian, lan wangji and the juniors weren’t there, sooooo many disciples would have lost their lives–simply because of how incompetent they collectively became once they lost their spiritual powers. if they made a coordinated effort, they could have still held the corpses off, but it’s just that... they weren’t able to, mentally, get past their sudden lack of powers. they were disoriented.

now, i’m not saying that this isn’t a normal reaction to have. it’s totally understandable how these people were huge messes, especially in such a high stakes situation. it is just that it puts into perspective how AWESOME wei wuxian is to have had his golden core cut out of him, voluntarily, then beaten within a micrometre of his life, then thrown straight into the hell on earth aka the burial mounds and then instead of succumbing instantly, he instead overcame these impossible circumstances and somehow, survived and found alternative powers to keep him going. that is nothing short of mind-boggling, awe-inspiring, jaw-dropping. not one person in that siege-laying populace would be able to accomplish that and it held some of the finest cultivators their world has to offer. because no one, other than wei wuxian, had the internal capabilities to build their strengths up from a source that wasn’t their spiritual powers. without their golden cores, they would be toast faster than a human within one kilometre of the sun’s radius. and i love love love how mxtx hits us with this fact in our faces in exactly the scenes that are all about undoing the falsehoods and allegations that wei wuxian, until then, had been levied with in the larger cultivation world’s perspective.

[kleopatra45]

Ascendant in the D9 Chart

The Navamsa chart, also known as the D9 chart, is a vital tool in Vedic astrology that delves into the deeper layers of your soul, your spiritual path, and especially your marriage and partnerships. The Ascendant (Lagna) in the Navamsa chart is crucial in understanding how you evolve over time, particularly in the context of your relationships. It reflects the qualities you develop in your marriage and how your personality matures.

Aries

With Aries as your Navamsa Ascendant, you approach marriage and long-term relationships with a sense of vigor and initiative. Aries brings a pioneering spirit, making you eager to lead and take charge within your partnership. You may have a dynamic, assertive approach to resolving issues, and you value independence within the marriage. The relationship is likely to be filled with excitement and action, as you prefer to keep things moving forward. Personal growth for you comes through developing courage, assertiveness, and learning to balance your own needs with those of your partner.

Taurus

A Taurus Navamsa Ascendant indicates that stability and sensuality are paramount in your marriage. You seek a relationship that provides comfort, security, and a sense of permanence. Taurus brings a nurturing, patient, and grounded energy, making you someone who values consistency and loyalty in your partner. You might express love through material support, affection, and creating a beautiful, harmonious home environment. This placement suggests a marriage that is likely to be steady and enduring, with both partners investing in the long-term well-being of the relationship. Personal growth comes through cultivating patience, resilience, and an appreciation for the finer things in life.

Gemini

With Gemini as your Navamsa Ascendant, communication is the cornerstone of your marriage. You crave intellectual stimulation and enjoy a relationship where ideas, thoughts, and conversations flow freely. Gemini brings a versatile and adaptable energy, making you open to changes and eager to explore different facets of your partnership. You’re likely to seek a partner who is curious, communicative, and capable of engaging you on a mental level. This placement can bring a lively, playful, and sometimes dual nature to the marriage, where both partners enjoy learning from each other. Growth in your relationship comes through embracing adaptability, effective communication, and maintaining a sense of curiosity.

Cancer

A Cancer Navamsa Ascendant suggests that emotional depth and nurturing are at the heart of your marriage. You seek a strong emotional connection with your partner, often playing a protective and caring role in the relationship. Cancer’s energy is deeply intuitive and compassionate, making you sensitive to your partner’s needs and feelings. You’re likely to create a home environment that is warm, secure, and filled with love. This placement often leads to a marriage where family and home life are central, with a focus on mutual support and emotional bonding. Personal growth comes through developing empathy, emotional resilience, and a deep sense of belonging within the relationship.

Leo

With Leo as your Navamsa Ascendant, you bring a sense of pride, passion, and generosity into your marriage. You seek a relationship where you can express your creativity, love, and leadership qualities. Leo’s energy is warm, enthusiastic, and often grand, making you someone who desires recognition and respect from your partner. You may take on a protective or guiding role in the relationship, ensuring that both you and your partner shine together. This placement suggests a marriage filled with love, loyalty, and shared joy, where both partners support each other’s growth and self-expression. Personal development comes through embracing your leadership qualities, cultivating generosity, and finding ways to share the spotlight in your relationship.

Virgo

A Virgo Navamsa Ascendant indicates that you approach marriage with a strong sense of duty, practicality, and a desire for improvement. You value order, cleanliness, and efficiency in your relationship, and you’re likely to be focused on making things better for both you and your partner. Virgo’s energy is analytical and service-oriented, making you attentive to the details of your marriage and keen on creating a harmonious and functional partnership. You may be drawn to a partner who shares your work ethic and desire for self-improvement. Personal growth in your marriage comes through learning to balance criticism with compassion, embracing imperfection, and finding joy in the little things.

Libra

With Libra as your Navamsa Ascendant, balance, harmony, and partnership are central to your marriage. You seek a relationship that is fair, equal, and filled with mutual respect and understanding. Libra’s energy is diplomatic, charming, and relationship-focused, making you someone who values cooperation and strives to maintain peace within the marriage. You’re likely to be a considerate partner who enjoys the social aspects of marriage, such as spending time together and engaging in shared activities. This placement suggests a marriage where both partners are invested in each other’s well-being and are willing to make compromises for the sake of harmony. Personal growth comes through cultivating balance, developing strong communication skills, and nurturing the bond of partnership.

Scorpio

A Scorpio Navamsa Ascendant indicates that your marriage is likely to be intense, transformative, and deeply emotional. You approach relationships with a sense of passion and a desire for profound connection. Scorpio’s energy is powerful, mysterious, and often driven by a need for emotional depth and intimacy. You may experience significant transformations within your marriage, where challenges lead to growth and a deeper understanding of each other. This placement suggests a relationship that is not afraid to confront difficult issues, with both partners evolving together through shared experiences. Personal growth comes through embracing vulnerability, developing trust, and navigating the complexities of emotional intimacy.

Sagittarius

With Sagittarius as your Navamsa Ascendant, you bring a sense of adventure, optimism, and exploration into your marriage. You seek a relationship that allows for personal growth, freedom, and shared experiences. Sagittarius’s energy is expansive, enthusiastic, and philosophical, making you someone who values intellectual and spiritual connection with your partner. You’re likely to be drawn to a relationship that encourages exploration, whether through travel, learning, or new experiences. This placement suggests a marriage where both partners inspire each other to grow and explore new horizons. Personal development comes through embracing optimism, fostering mutual growth, and maintaining a sense of adventure in the relationship.

Capricorn

A Capricorn Navamsa Ascendant indicates that you approach marriage with a sense of responsibility, discipline, and a long-term perspective. You value stability, structure, and commitment in your relationship, and you’re likely to be focused on building a secure and enduring partnership. Capricorn’s energy is ambitious, practical, and determined, making you someone who is willing to work hard to ensure the success of your marriage. You may be drawn to a partner who shares your goals and values, and who is equally committed to building a solid foundation together. Personal growth in your marriage comes through developing patience, embracing responsibility, and striving for mutual achievements.

Aquarius

With Aquarius as your Navamsa Ascendant, you bring a sense of uniqueness, intellectual connection, and humanitarian values into your marriage. You seek a relationship that is progressive, free-spirited, and built on a strong mental connection. Aquarius’s energy is innovative, unconventional, and often focused on the collective good, making you someone who values individuality and freedom within the partnership. You’re likely to be drawn to a partner who shares your ideals and is open to unconventional approaches to marriage. This placement suggests a relationship where both partners support each other’s independence and contribute to a shared vision. Personal growth comes through embracing innovation, fostering intellectual connection, and supporting each other’s individuality.

Pisces

A Pisces Navamsa Ascendant indicates that your marriage is likely to be compassionate, spiritual, and deeply intuitive. You approach relationships with a sense of empathy, sensitivity, and a desire for emotional and spiritual connection. Pisces’s energy is dreamy, creative, and often focused on the emotional and spiritual dimensions of life, making you someone who values emotional depth and soul connection in your marriage. You may be drawn to a partner who understands and shares your spiritual or creative inclinations. This placement suggests a marriage where both partners seek to transcend the ordinary and connect on a deeper, more spiritual level. Personal growth comes through embracing compassion, developing spiritual awareness, and nurturing the emotional bond within the relationship.

©️kleopatra45

[pushingdaisies1]

Its never too late baby . . . ♡

(✧ ˚.) PAIRING-> James "Logan" Howlett {A.K.A} Wolverine x Mutant Reader >_<

(✧ ˚.) SUMMARY -> You were always someone who utilized your strengths. Physical and mental, you were a jack of all trades. You were a true hero to the students you taught within the school. Amongst the other X-men, you would always be one of them. But you had this little tick, that always annoyed Logan no doubt. You were a secretive person, too secretive for even his "standards." For others, you were a pillar of nurture and guidance. He saw your well-meaning nature from miles away. It was almost sickening to him how you would stretch your capabilities out to no end. He would never deny that he could be selfish. Sometimes it's more worth it to save your spine, than risk it for someone else. Though with the problems being thrown the team's way as of recent, he always saw you spinning your wheels. You wouldn't reason with him even when he of all people would lend you a shoulder to cry on. Even the students at the school could see it. With their childish snickers and big-eyed looks at your comfortable banter with Mr. Howlett whenever he helped with class. You were in love with the Wolverine. Again, out of all the Canadians - him? It wasn't something like a schoolgirl crush. It was an infatuation sort of deal. You burned for him mind body and soul. You would pretty much follow this scoundrel to the ends of the earth, even the end of your life if prompted. Which causes something to break between you two after you risk your livelihood for your family. The people that made up your heart, including Logan.

(✧ ˚.) AUTHORS NOTE -> hi party people!! I saw so much of the sweet reception for my first ever logan piece , so tysm!! Genuinely from the bottom of my heart the love means so much. As I’m currently going through my x-men marathon time if you will , I’ve had this idea brewing for a while. Thankfully the resurgence of logan content has given me the push needed to formulate this yk! This isn’t a part two to my previous logan post. That will be coming very shortly, but this is its own thing. Timeline wise... erm.... idrk a good place to put this SIGH. I'm thinking like in between x2 and the last stand. also one last final note , the title I took from Chemtrails over the country club. specifically the one lyric - "it's never too late baby so don't give up." felt like an appropriate whimsy title, nd I have been hearing that song everywhere lolz. Anyways, toodles!!! ᐢᗜᐢ (✧ ˚.) CWS (?) -> Descriptions of blood and graphic injury , they/them pronouns for reader !! , mentions of major character deal , Logan cares too much ... which could mean nothing , ur comatose for like the good first chunk of this , Jean and u have LORE!!!!! (not rlly but u and her have backstory beefers/her "passing" affect reader 100%) , mourning/grief, And that's on having no healing powers!! Buh-dun-csh!!

Your fall from grace was quick on the battlefield. This was supposed to just be any regular mission. You were using it as a way to clear your head after all. But you took a leap too far and now here you were, plummeting. The issue at hand was apprehended, sure. But you didn't leave the fight unscathed. Your vision grew too spotty for you to even make out your surroundings. Your hearing too even started to fog. Looking down, somehow or some way a large-sized piece of shrapnel metal had made it into your torso. Right in the sweet spot that was not in the lungs. Your legs began to wobble, losing your footing slowly but surely. You didn't realize your body was falling to the ground. The warm feeling rushing through you was the blood exiting from your hefty wound. It was ironic the last thing your eyes met before collapsing. Logan turned back around immediately once he noticed you weren't clamoring to the jet. His heart sunk to his stomach as he immediately sprung over to you. By the time your head had smacked against the ground, you went out. Your fingertips began to buzz, your fatigue lifting all of a sudden. All of the hurt and weight on your shoulders lifted? You felt freer than before, with a piece of debree stuck inside of your body no more. Even if some people regarded mutants as the next step in human evolution, a majority were still stuck with fleshy bodies. If only you were made out of steel. In this momentary unconsciousness, you thought about everything that went wrong. Your existence as a whole, joining the school. Moving up from student to teacher at Professor Xavier's school, like Scott and Ororo you were one of the first. Regarded as maybe one of the most useful of the bunch. No one could ever compete with Storm, the literal incarnate of a goddess. You thought of her as your eyes closed, embraced with the warm memories of your early days within the school.

The professor was never one to play favorites among his students. But when he searched you out and arrived with a less conniving Magneto at your door, it was clear you were special to him and his cause. From that day forward you were seen as a pillar of hope to a lot of the students. To some, you were like a mother, to others a guardian who would save them no matter the risk. To Logan Howlett - "The Wolverine", you were a coward. A coward that he admired. A coward he respected due to the ways you handled... stress in the simplest of terms. From the day he met you, he wandered around the halls of the mansion bewildered and confused. Something about you stuck out. He would've done something with this urge sooner if his eyes weren't honed in on another.

From day one you were not surprised how fast he fell and yearned for Jean. The woman you saw as your confidant, your best friend, she was magnificent. Smart and poised all in one with a strong set of mutant abilities. She was on the same power level as the professor, which made sense for their connection.

For living in Jean's shadow, you didn’t hate it. You were her right-hand man. Your balance was comforting, she was like your sister. The professor in small quiet moments of honesty to you liked to compare you to him and Magnus. When times were simpler they weren’t at opposing ends of the mutant kind spectrum. Yours and Jean's dynamic made you feel at ease with yourself. How could you worry? Your identity became a part of hers a long time ago. Logan saw more to that with you. Sure you could nag a lot of the time, and you always barked up his tree whenever he found ways to smoke on school grounds. But you just had this pull for him. He'd always find his way to see you first whenever entering a room. His brash and gritty attitude always got all mushy around you. He over time grew a lot more fond of the smallest details when it came to you. He was an amnesiac, his past only bits and pieces. But you made him feel grounded. You cherished his growth in ways no one else had. You were the reason why he was so drawn to the "now" of life. He needed that in times like this. He couldn't keep up for long after the realization that Jean was gone finally sunk in. Drowning at his one-sided attraction, the longing that he could've done more, you pulled him right out from that rut. Thank god that the two of you combined had horrible sleep schedules. His nightmares still stirred while you were suddenly afflicted with these with the memories of being on that jet when it wouldn't take off. That same pain rocketed through you every night as you were haunted by the sight of Jean finally swept into the oncoming flood. The feeling of grief ricocheted throughout the entire school. But you found your way to stay afloat. It was Logan, which you never thought of yourself admitting. But truth be told it was him. He was the most anchoring thing around you. Ororo distanced herself for the first month, while Scott cracked under the pressure of grief. Late nights dashing around the campus halls to the kitchen, out to the court where you two just talked. You had never seen him talk so much until you two became each other's support. It made you feel better seeing him smile more. Especially when it was at you. Again, you would never utter that truth EVER. At least that's what you thought. But his smile was a nice reminder of all of the light he held inside of him. As much as he despised ... everything, he was still so nurturing in his own ways. Nightmares were an excuse for him to be next to you. Nightmares were his excuse to hold you tight to his chest. The pain of loss was a collective "excuse" between the two of you to just .. be close.

Soon though, this ideal predicament between you both started to crack. Because even though she was dead, you still knew you would always be inferior. It may be all in your head but the hate kept you driven. It kept you driven but also mad. Small things would set you off soon enough. You knew deep down whenever he'd look into your eyes, it was a nice reminder of Jean. Even with how much he denied it when you came to him in tears, your bitter pain and grief clouded your judgment.

Logan saw that even with his help you were still hurting. He didn't want to get involved in it entirely as some of it was your own demon. But he saw how bad your spiraling was and still wouldn't accept his help. Not even from Ororo or Scott, not even the professor. Neither of you would admit who started the argument. It was late, and you were tired from pushing yourself to grade papers. Logan couldn't sleep and wandered his way to your classroom of course. The conversation was fine until he mentioned the problem. Your problem which you didn't want to deal with right now. As you were only running on a few hours of sleep. But even with Logan's usual "take and give no fucks" attitude, he knew he needed to push. You were slowly shutting yourself off this time, and he didn't expect himself to be a part of that mix. It was all a misunderstanding, but the two of you were angry and fire was thrown.

Your shared feelings were complicated. This whole ordeal with him brought out the "worst parts" of your love for him. He too was dealing with his internal dilemma. How could he move on from Jean and you were still latched onto the idea of her? It was a stupid question that was brought up in a Logan way, which of course caused the spat to escalate. His poor mistake was what he shouted. Already with the fear of waking one or even all of the students, you hated what he even dared to utter. "We're friends, you need to calm down about this whole obsession thing bub!" Originally you were thinking of just heading to bed. You were too tired to continue on with this constant bickering. But that's when you exploded on him. You regretted every last word you said to his face. Because it was you speaking your honest truth. About what you felt for him, about your hurt and your pain. How Jean was practically your lifeline. Losing her was like losing a piece of yourself. Especially since you rubbed it in about the kiss he and her shared. That you had seen and that made you sick to your stomach. A couple hours later she was dead. Your heightened emotions make you feel almost dizzy. The more you talked the more you realized his expressions distinct shift. As he was reaching out for you, you immediately swatted his arm askew. He didn't realize he hated to see you cry as much as he did until now. With broken sobs, you ran out of your classroom. The papers once stacked neatly were now laid messily all over your desk. You made sure to keep quiet. What broke your heart even more was a half-awake Rogue you ran into. She looked even more awake seeing your distraught state. Her feet tip-toed against the wooden floors of the hall before she looked at you. A big reason you and Logan were so close too, was because of Rogue. She was a good kid, he always rubbed off on her. He told you everything about how he and Rogue met. You were so enamored hearing him recount even the foggiest of memories. It could even be arguments with Scott he had, you'd just sit there with wide eyes as you listened. His word became your gospel. It warmed you to your core hearing him almost sound like a dad. He had looked out for her from the beginning. You always tried to do the same even when he left for Alklai Lake for answers.

It was so silly when she had practically pushed you and Logan to talk. She was just a kid and you two took up the almost suto role of her protectors. Friend or parent, she too found two trusted people to confide in. So you immediately went into "teacher mode" as soon as she saw you with watery eyes. She looked puzzled when her face met yours. You calmed down her storm of questions as she sputtered on and on. What's wrong? , is something happening? Are you okay? The hug you shared was one of the last meaningful hugs you had with another living being. You practically cradled her in your arms as you helped her calm down. She looked up at you, her larger brown eyes almost like the ones of a puppy. "Please don't be lying to me... y'know ah don't like liars." She whispered softly, her bubbly southern accent quiet. Your heart broke into a couple more pieces as you lied through your teeth. With a content nod, you bidded her a goodnight. Turning back to your room to drown your sorrow in god knows what. It had only been a good couple of months after Jeans' death that a mission arose. The X-men were laying low after everything at the base. For the school's and students' sake. But it was always on time when something bad happened for the team to fix. Old enemies came a-knocking and this time it wasn't Magneto. It was all supposed to be an in-and-out operation. You immediately clamored to get your hands dirty once again. You and Logan hadn't been talking for the last couple of days. Not even meeting in the dead of night to speak to another. You longed to hear about his afternoons subbing with Storm. This was your chance to regain some well-needed level-headedness. The thrill of doing what's right for a better tomorrow always made you feel better The mission even got Scott to come out of his puddle of mourning. Making you feel even better seeing your good friend so triumphant as he quickly clamored for his uniform. You and Logan didn't even brush shoulders as Storm and Scott dashed off to prepare the jet for takeoff. Everything should have gone fine. You should have all made it out alive. Every single one of you, that's what you had planned. Your lapse in judgment will always be your curse. Because now here you were, in the lap of the man that made your stomach churn. That made you feel LIKE that silly schoolgirl feeling you despised. Snapping back to reality, you realize where you are currently laid. Logan's eyes eased from his previous panicked look of fear as he saw you conscious. You were still bleeding but it seems that with quick medical attention either one of them got it to lessen. Your heart raced as you felt the warmness of his hands as they pressed against your cheeks. "Come on, there you go. Just focus on me." He cooed to your heaving chest. In the far back of the jet, you couldn't see Ororo or Scott. What you could see though was the remnants of blood on Logan's suit. He must have carried you off of the rubble and into the X-jet. Your smile was nothing compared to the horrid wince that left you. Finally, after this long moment of ease, the pain set in.

Going down to hold your gut, you shuddered as your vision all of a sudden wavered. You took in a sharp breath as finally, you noticed how in bad shape you were. Red filled your palm as you shuddered. Thankfully Logan noticed you and your shaky breath and immediately gripped your hand. Even in this state, you were currently in, you would always be able to focus on him. "I know, I know it's scary. You got hit pretty bad, but it's okay. Just focus on me and you'll be okay? I have you." He encouraged softly with that comforting rasp in his throat. His eyes were shaken and his lip was firm. Though his mood lightened somewhat because at least now you were awake.

You tried to speak but you were so weak. That same fatigue stung you as you stumbled over your words. He cradled you in his arms as he kept his eyes only on you. Your weary mind still around belittling you, another one of your eerily humane curses. He saw your chest quicken and lip quiver as your eyes began to lull, you were struggling. "Hey .. don't strain yourself - what is it?" He too began to worry as you saw his vulnerability bloom. Finally your chest steady as you took in one big breath of air. You let out the one thing keeping you from slipping back into rest in one huff. "Don't let me die, asshole." The asshole part came out more garbled from you after you coughed out your last words. Your last words before your eyes fell closed. For some reason, your hearing stayed for just a while longer. In and out, you could hear him cursing under his breath. The last thing you hear is Logan's panicked shouting at Scott, "Can this hunk of metal go any faster?!"

Finally, after so much pain, there was quiet. Peace and quiet after your constant heartache. You felt freed from the chains of reality. From birth to now, now seemed like your death. You left your current reality with a bitter-sweet smile as you felt consciousness swarm over you.

You couldn't feel how long you were out. Oh, but Logan could. Six weeks you lay in the infirmary. With some sort of miracle and hope, Ororo was barely able to stabilize you. The team rushed back into the mansion in panic as your wounds were assessed. But no, you couldn't feel the panic that coursed through your loved ones as you lay so peacefully. You didn't know your heart rate was being tracked. You were stable but anyone could guess it'd take you a while to re-reach consciousness. That your accident broke the barely well Scott Summers. But most of all it affected Logan to the core. He felt his world shake under him as he finally realized what had just happened. Something snapped in a man so stuck in his ways. Those words you said to him before you went back down. They were short but in the moment meant so much. Not to mention the fact that even Logan, so careless and free, was guilty. Every time he came back just to see you, he wanted to curl over and into you. Just like how he mourned Jean, he mourned you. Though .. he couldn't because you were technically still here. He may have not noticed it but everyone else could. The lack of your presence hindered him the worst. He missed the way you'd bother him out of the blue during the quiet time around the school. He missed you telling him about your life. He missed the shitty snort you did when you laughed too hard at one of his bad jokes. He missed seeing you happy. He missed seeing you move around. Pestering students for turning in assignments late or cheating. He missed the feel of your lips against his forehead when his nightmares of Jean flared up. He missed the way you looked at him. The way you saw him not only as a man but as himself. He didn't know how to admit it but he.. missed you. He missed you so bad and it was eating away at him. He spent hours out of his day visiting you. Like what you two always did when you were alone, he talked. About his day, what he ate, and even the lessons he overheard. The school got even quieter with you gone and he hated it. He felt bitter and broken, he didn't want to feel like that. He especially missed the way he felt with you. Almost like being on cloud nine. He finally understood the pain you felt when Jean died. This time on a more intimate level than he'd like to admit. He felt like the moon was ripped away from him after the sun. Now he was just the lonely tide, washing away against the shore until you returned. Ororo did all she could to help. All she could do was maintain your physical well-being as your body healed with rest. Logan hated the wait. The time you spent not walking around the halls of the school was maybe one of the worst times in his life. Since it hit him so deep on a real level. In this array of pain and even more guilt, he felt something dawn on him as you were still comatose. He was in love with you, Logan was in love with you. He felt like an idiot but the realization would always stay true. No matter how stupid he felt. As much as he wanted to deny it, he knew. In the middle of his thought process, he heard the swift slide open of the infirmary doors.

Right now he was standing over you. The one thing that kept his spirits high about your recovery was the gentle rise and lower of your chest. He didn't have to look behind him to know it was Storm. She too had taken her time checking in on your unconscious form. He sighed as she walked up right beside him. She gently cupped the examination table where your body would lay. She looked down at her hands with a bitter-sweet smile on her lips. She looked over to Logan, who was at a pause with himself. She decided to finally break the long silence. "You know they'll be fine, right?" She hummed as she glanced up to look over you. He chuckled softly as his brow pinched. His chuckle came out more like a rugged scoff. "I know, this just feels weird." He sucked in a breath of stale air. "It was funny the first night you arrived at the mansion.." Storm drew up a memory of that fateful night. "As soon as I and Scott brought you in, they immediately volunteered to help Jean down here with your examination. They were always enamored with your set of abilities. You were one of a kind to them especially, I suppose." Now his hands gripped into the sides of the examination table. He looked down, in pity of you and himself. How could he be so blind? Storm butted in once more as she noticed his demeanor shift. "All I'm saying is, they'd be happy to know how much you worried." He nodded in response, reminiscing when things were good. From your first encounter to now, his heart warmed. "I'd do it for anyone else." He gritted out as he bit back a smile. The truth was he was still in agony about Jean's loss. It felt wrong to love you as he had longed for her after all of this time. But you felt like a whole different story. He didn't have to sit in agony knowing that no matter what his love would always be with another. You always gave him the time and day, hell even down to the minute to just be honest. He needed you at his side no matter what you were to him. Maybe you were more than a friend, maybe he was crazy about you, but you understood him. In a way maybe Jean never had. Ororo knew he needed more time so she complied with the awkwardness in the air. "I'll give you some more time. Rest easy Logan, they'd want that." She insisted before making her way out of the infirmary. He immediately looked down back at you, before looking back at the monitor tracking your heart. He sighed, biting into his lip. He stuttered the only thing that had been keeping him sane since he last felt your eyes open. "Don't fail me now dimples... I need you." He gritted as his teeth were practically ground into his gums. It has become a regular part of his routine now. Once the students were back in their dorms for the night, down to the infirmary he goes. He could never be tired of seeing you at rest. Seeing you okay and not in pain. He just wished he could hear you speak. He hoped that you could hear his pleas for you to wake.

As much as he longed for you he just bided his time. Like the fool he was, like the idiot he felt like when you made him so weak. You made him feel the most human he ever could feel.

That day was supposed to be a normal day. Classes had been more and more brief. After the loss of Jean and you being "put out." But he did not expect to see what he did next. Going into the elevator to head downstairs, to of course see you as always. He was ready to talk about what you missed away and so on. His chest tightened once he saw what was right in front of him. It was you, you were walking? You were awake and on your own two feet. Your midsection was still bandaged but at least you were standing up straight. But then it finally clicked. Wait, you shouldn't even be walking around right now?!

He immediately ran to steady you once your expression went more absent. "Welcome back to the land of the living." He roughly inquired with a small, pleased grin. "I feel like shit, so don't start with me Wolvie." You gritted out with that smile that made him too feel all good on the inside. Quickly, his arms calmly wrapped around you. He longed for your embrace for too long. It wasn't like you were fighting him when he enacted this. You wrapped your arms around him too. He made sure not to squeeze too tight with your bandages and all. A gentleman must stay mindful, he could recall you poking at him as he had a beer bottle half hidden in his jacket.

Your head gently rested in the crook of his neck. That quiet he hated so much before when seeing you in the infirmary was warmer now. He liked the peace and quiet between the two of you when you were there WITH him. After some minutes passed, you met him back face to face. You eyes lingered as you watched the way he swallowed in with composure. You had longed for him to see you. Finally, all the puzzle pieces were clicking, and with your luck all at once. You knew before this would have never happened. It felt wrong and almost hurtful for you to be doing this. But go big or go home I guess. It was you who initiated it, and he gratefully complied. Still keeping you steady, once your lips met his hand immediately went to cup your cheek. In the bliss shared, all of a sudden it felt right. The tender embrace of your lips with his felt good. It was hungry and it was liberating. You could feel his heart beating out of his chest as quick gasps for air were taken. "I'm sorry." He uttered out, forehead against yours. "I know." You said with a sanguine look in your eye. "I love you." He uttered again at a rapid pace. "I know." You purred, your eyes looking back into his hazy ones. Things would always be complicated between the both of you. But deep down you had hope. Maybe not now, someday things could just be normal between you and The Wolverine. That's all you wanted and that's all you dreamed of. Yours and his timing by all means was horrible. So it wasn't surprising this delightful moment got interrupted by Scott of all people. You and Logan looked back, hands immediately darting off of one another. Time to address THAT later.

Scott's mouth fell agape as he began to regret coming down here in the first place. He readjusted his glasses with a small scowl. "Well hello to you too, and Logan." He turned his head to give him that same look. "Wanted to check on you but clearly -" He made sure to put a specific emphasis on 'clearly.' "That job has been overtaken by him.. I'll get Ororo." Before either you or Logan could interrupt him, Scott was already pressing buttons up to the main floor. Now that it was just the two of you bubbling laughs were shared. You felt finally okay. You felt like yourself after those months of nothing but remembrance. You and The Wolverine wormed back into conversation as you could finally talk BACK to him. Another thing you wouldn't ever admit was that yes, you did hear him. His gentle words would always be your favorite secret. After that display of affection though, your and Logan's bond never stayed just a little secret after that. Even after all the trial and error, and the more soon to come, you finally had another moment. Another moment that you could look at when you are older and with more grays on your head. Logan Howlett was yours, no matter how much the universe wanted to throw you around a loop. You'd always have him by your side, till the end of time. Nothing would stop you from cherishing this connection. Not even the burning phoenix crackling over the horizon. You and Logan against time baby.

ꔫ✉ reblogs/interaction is appreciated <3

[chocodile]

Amaranthine Magic System PART II: Spellcraft for Wizards

This is Part III of a three-part worldbuilding set.

Part I - Part II (you are here) - Part III

So, what makes a wizard different than a non-magically capable mundane? A few things:

Unusually strong personal magical field

Ability to sense/”see” magical energy

Some unknown characteristic that allows them to manipulate their own magical field as if it were an extension of their body. Possibly a physical difference in brain structure?

The last part is the most important and is truly what sets a wizard apart from every other creature on the planet. Though, of course, without the first two traits, it’s going to be of limited use.

As mentioned in Part I, wizards cast their spells by applying a mental “filter” their own magical output. This is referred to as active casting. Passive casting, which will be covered in Part III, is typically the realm of animals and plants. Being able to filter something mentally is an extremely unique skill only possible by sapient creatures (probably) due to the complexity involved. However, wizards do typically use hand gestures in casting as well. Hand gestures provide an additional optional channel on which you can “filter” your spell. Because it’s easier to do hand gestures than to teach yourself these complex mental filters, it’s common for amateur wizards to use many more hand gestures when casting, while very advanced wizards use fewer of them because they are capable of juggling a larger number of simultaneous “filters” mentally. Additionally, hand and arm gestures are commonly used like the barrel of a rifle, to control and direct the magical energy being shaped by the mind.

Learning how to control magic like this takes many years of study and practice. You must really understand the “physics” of how the waves work and how each puppeteer string will affect the shape of the waves when pulled. On top of that, you need a good understanding of the object you’re interacting with. Magic will move differently through water, air, or stone. If you are trying to create a spell that will create a net of energy that will catch fish in a river, you need to be very familiar with the physics of how magic will interact with water and flesh, as well as have an approximate awareness of how deep the water is, whether the bottom is rocky/uneven or not, how fast moving the current is, etc. Gathering that info will require several steps of study and reconnaissance before you ever get to the “make a net and catch some fish” part.

Healing magic is very tricky for this reason. Flesh can be knit together, but because the blood vessels and nerves and such are so small, and so many different types of material are present in, say, a cross-section of an arm, successfully re-attaching a limb would be something only an expert who has dedicated their life to studying anatomy would be able to pull off. You know those radioactive tracers doctors use before imaging tests? That sort of thing gets a lot of use in healing magic. Healers can train themselves to recognize the tracer (well, a magical energy equivalent) and follow that through a body, then target their spell on the location where the tracer ended up. Much easier and more reliable than trying to guess exactly where someone’s alveoli are from outside their body.

Spellcraft has two primary “branches”. The First Branch is a school of magic based on unleashing your own magical potential in a very basic, direct way. Its rawest form would manifest as something like a lightning bolt: an erratic, jagged bolt of pure, difficult-to-control energy. Pretty much all “attack” type spells are variations on this, as well as any spells that involve pushing/pulling/moving things. This branch of magic is seen as much easier and, ironically more beginner friendly. Though it does have the capacity to cause grievous injury, the concentration and mental effort involved mean it’s very hard mix up a “pull” spell and a “fireball” spell. Western Kingdom schools almost exclusively teach this branch.

The Second Branch deals more with manipulating the world’s “background radiation”. (if First Branch magic can be visualized as a line, Second Branch magic is more of a plane or 3D sphere) The wizard alters and exaggerates the shape of their own magical aura to exert pressure on the “background radiation” around them to produce type spells that are more like buffs/debuffs in a video game. Some examples would include a spell that makes everyone in the area feel weirdly invigorated or sleepy, or slows down/speeds up time in a small area, or makes a room with your dead mom in it really, really cold (cough, cough). These spells tend to be more subtle and frankly kind of weird… it’s a very versatile branch of magic with some interesting potential implications. However, it tends to be the harder type of magic to learn by far and requires a very steady hand and calm mind to maintain.

Though they use First Branch magic as well, it’s worth noting that Second Branch magic is very common in the Eastern Kingdom, where it has been well-studied for thousands of years. Their extensive library of research is kept by the Eastern Kingdom Sultan in his private library. Westerners tend to view the Second Branch as shady and manipulative… who knows what a Second Branch wizard could be doing to you without you knowing? The only Second Branch magic to be commonly used in the West is healing magic.

However, as mentioned before, one important thing about the magic system in Amaranthine is that wizards are not psychic. They don’t have x-ray vision and do not innately know how every object or life form they encounter works, and a lot of specialized magic involves knowing the inner workings of things and being able to picture things clearly in your head. A wizard cannot use telekinesis to pick up an object they don’t know the location or shape of (if they tried, it would likely either not have any effect, or they’d break it/damage it/knock it over by targeting it incorrectly, depending on how “off” they were). Nor could they use magic to pick a lock if they didn’t already know how locks worked well enough to visualize the inside of it.

For this reason, wizards tend to be pretty well-read in general, as you have to know a lot about the mechanics and structure of the world around you in order to make the best use of your powers. Hyden specifically has a lot of esoteric nerdy technical knowledge about how things are put together but also huge blind spots when it comes to how the world works in practice. For example, he may know a lot about the anatomy of a corn plant because he had to study them one time when the Royal Mages tasked him with purifying a village’s corn field of crop blight, but still be unable to identify a carrot or yam. He may be able to draw a detailed diagram of the wheels and axle of a carriage because he helped assemble a fleet of them once upon a time, but not have any idea why those parts go together or what they specifically do.

[httpskuzuu]

L”m so happy your back! I would like a request a yandere! Pm Dazai (18 yrs old) with a darling who’s naïve and innocent (of course he kidnaps them) how would he react to a such pure person! Thank you for taking this request.

Yandere!PM!Dazai with a naive and innocent reader

This is the first time I write for PM!Dazai (and I do headcanons), don't kill me

Yandere!PM!Dazai x Reader

Idk english, I don't like english, let me

summary: the title :D

tw: kidnapping, corruption of innocence, stalking, death (not reader or Dazai), physical and psychological abuse, maybe something else but idk

Honestly, I don't know how you got into this situation.

I can only think of two options as to how you ended up getting his attention: Dazai was looking for someone like you or you just surprised him.

With the first option, I guess he wanted to get away momentarily from everything he had known in his life, get someone who wasn't as fucked up as he was.

Or you just came unexpectedly into his life, maybe you got involved in one of his missions without having any idea.

Either way, Dazai was dazzled by your innocence.

You are the opposite of him and he wants to keep it that way, he knows what this world is capable of doing to pure souls like yours and he is not going to allow that.

First he won your trust, it was easy, you trusted everyone too fast, you didn't even doubt him in spite of his strange attitude that didn't let you see beyond him.

You never realized the danger in front of your eyes and that only made Dazai adore you more.

He would know every little part of your life, the names of all your friends and the places you go to, he always has an eye on you.

He would keep your friends and family away from you, he's not afraid to kill, threaten or torture others for that purpose.

Deep down, all he wants to do is to corrupt you.

He wants to be the one to destroy your innocence, to show you the cruelty of the world, even if it is contradictory to his initial purpose.

Maybe that's the reason he kidnapped you.

And oh god, that's when the real fun begins.

He doesn't care about your opinion, not in the slightest, and punishments are just around the corner.

Forced affection would be a normal thing, he sees you as a kind of safe place where he can be a bit more vulnerable, just a bit 🤏

Still, I doubt he would ever let you see his true feelings.

That would only be way down the road in your relationship, when Dazai can have complete confidence that you'll never escape.

Yandere!Dazai is not easy, least of all if he's PM Dazai, but your attitude would make it somewhat more tolerable.

Being such a naive little thing, he can trust you more easily.

Plus you're terrified of him, so you don't even think about running away.

But if you were to try… Well, remember what I said about punishments being just around the corner? Then get ready for torture.

Breaking bones, beating you unconscious, isolating you for days, starving and thirsting you, etc.

Although he usually mistreats you as well, it's all more psychological.

He wants to make you see the evil, to see you break and cry.

Makes him have a mix between sadistic joy and regret.

He really feels very guilty for everything he does, for seeing you in such a broken state.

He would never tell you, the closest you get to that would be a strangely silent Dazai cuddling like a koala bear to you.

I hope you have enough mental stamina to endure your stay with Dazai

Oh, and if he sees that he's broken you until there's nothing left of the original you or that all your innocence is gone, maybe he'll kill you because he's bored 😀

The image of your friend would not leave your head. He was immobile, cold, dead.

It was the first time you saw a corpse in real life, it made your blood run cold. Especially because you saw him die and you couldn't do anything about it.

Dazai killed him, after many hours of torture, one shot in his head and his screams stopped. You saw the blood spill on the floor along with pieces of flesh. You did not vomit because of the absence of food in your stomach, but the nausea was there.

He wouldn't let you take your eyes off him, even when he was torturing him. When his fingernails were being pulled out and his skin was burning. You had to keep watching or the torture would transfer to you.

You couldn't save him. Your throat was torn from screaming, but he was still dead. Would his corpse still be in that dark warehouse? Would that be his grave? At least you would have liked to have been able to give him a proper funeral, not abandon him.

You didn't understand how someone could be as evil as Dazai was. Your friend did nothing, he just worried about your disappearance. Now, because of you, he too would become a missing person.

The tears were still wet when an extra weight was placed on the bed. You refused to move, afraid that he would take you back to continue seeing those horrible things, things you can't even describe without breaking down in tears.

He lies behind you and wraps his arms around you, his hands that caused so many murders gently holding your body.

You never thought before that the perpetrators of these acts could be ordinary people, people you would trust and befriend. But they could be, the proof of that was Dazai, someone too young to be killing.

You are conflicted by the situation, you empathize with Dazai. You want to understand him and know what led him to be the way he is today, try to justify him, but he killed your friend. The dilemma of whether he deserved a forgiveness eats at you inside. Could his actions be justified by his past? Maybe Dazai is just a victim like you.

Be that as it may, apparently you still have time to think because he doesn't plan to let you go anytime soon.

I am sleep deprived

[rwby-encrusted-blog]

There are two types of Mech, the Analog, and the Linked.

Analog mechs are the far, far cheaper of the two. Much less specialized, and infinitely more common, able to be found not just in military use, but in Agricultural and Industrial use as well.

To pilot one, all you need it four limbs (Including prosthetics) and good senses, and to score well in the Simulators to get your license.

Analog is a bit of a misnomer, a holdover word from yesteryear, simply meaning "Less sophisticated."

Analog Mechs work by scanning the Brain Activity of the pilot, comparing it to the physical input of the controls, and deciding what to do from there. They're considered old fashioned and less reliable than Linked Mechs, but they're reliable enough for the work they do. They are more easily replaced and retrofitted for different tasks.

They have simpler AI, and to exit one, you simply take the helmet off and open the hatch.

Linked Mechs are a whole other can of worms.

Each and every Linked Mech is custom built and fitted to their pilot, from the heaviest weapon, to the smallest nut, no one is the same as the other.

Linked Mech are Physically plugged into their pilot's nervous system, and they act as one. It can take hours of Decompression and Disconnection to remove a Linked Pilot.

Linked Mechs are truly nothing without their pilots.

Linked Pilots are the most terrifying people you may ever meet.

Their skin is mottled from the Oxygenator-Coolant that runs in their veins, the plugs and ports too deeply entwined in their flesh and body to be removed without serious disruption to their faculties, hairless and sterile from their conditioning and actions when inside their vessel, and that's only the physical differences.

Depending on how long they've been a Linked Pilot, their mental capabilities are affected in different ways.

'Young' pilots are simply too wary - able to pick up on the most minute details, in all five senses.

Their Mechs are still machine.

'Moderate' pilots have some neurological and mental degradation in addition to what they had before. often confused or forgetful outside of their mech, but still very aware of their surroundings, if not their place in time.

Their Mechs act protective of them, like a dog to it's beloved owner.

'Old' Pilots have all the earlier issues, compounded and worsened, and sometimes confusing themself for their mech, even going so far as to entering refill and Refueling areas of the hangars.

Their Mechs act the same, often trying to reach their pilot's quarters and the Cafeteria.

They may refuse to separate at time, feeling more comfortable together than apart.

and then there are the 'Fused' the oldest and rarest caste of Linked Pilot and Mech.

The Pilot and The Mech fused absolutely, inseparable for Neurological, Psychological, and physical reasons.

They are the same. They are one. A perfect fusion of the Biological and Mechanical, Electrochemical Intelligence and the Fissile-Logic Personality, Mirroring each other with every breath and ventilation protocol.

And they are still people.

The Fused still need social interaction and entertainment. They still need variety and novelty, comfort. All the things anyone else would.

Fused are the least common, but are the least likely to die. Too perfectly combined, Too well accompanied.

The Three times a 'Fused' has been separated, The pilot Died, the Mech 'Bricked' itself, like a Jail-broke phone, no matter how it was done.

Fused are the most loyal, true, and caring of all pilots.

Few ever meet the 'Pilot,' the meat within the metal, but the few that do are those most trusted by the Fused person, as the Fused is showing you their beating heart.

If you earn one's trust, and are given this deep, grand honor, I only have one piece of advice.

Do. Not. Break. That. Trust.

[kuj0goth]

ngl that evil fiddleford au is amazing, i want more of it so much (THOUGH NO PRESSURE). what would happen directly after him getting his memory wiped? like would he be the one to take him home and take care of him or would he try and keep it distanced with a build up to the misery stephen king situation? and what would stan do when he found out?

Hello! Thank you so much for showing interest in my au. It makes me very happy.

Although I’m still working out the kinks of how the story would be put together, I do have some ideas I can share.

I am basing the way Ford acts on the way Stan acted when the same thing happened to him during Weirdmageddon. As such, he has no memory, but his personality is intact, and he has retained his base instincts, muscle memory, and things of the sort. The way I imagine the memory gun to work is that it targets specific cells to kill. Braincells can be regenerated, but as precise as the gun is, there are still side affects to killing off braincells, as you would imagine.

Ford’s head is full of puzzle pieces that don’t quite fit together, stairs that don’t lead anywhere, doors that won’t open. Although he does eventually get better, he is unable to take care of himself properly directly after his memory has been wiped, and Fiddleford takes him back to the shack.

The Misery dynamic is established pretty much immediately, but Ford is not capable of realizing it initially. Fiddleford isolates him to keep him safe and to watch over him, and as a result he becomes a little brainwashed. He has no other source of information and everything he knows and believes is influenced by Fiddleford’s word.

My idea is that he eventually has a realization that something is wrong. It needles at his psyche but he cant click the pieces together and it’s frustrating for a guy like Ford who is desperate to know things, especially in a state like that. Fiddleford is slowly mentally devolving and having outbursts so he starts using those to his advantage to gain information and draw some truth out of her.

As for Stan, I’m still working out the kinks, but I imagine he’s doing some detective work around town to figure out where his brother has gone. I’m currently uncertain if I want him to interact with Fiddleford right off the bat, but I have a lot of ideas of how some of their conversations would go.

[gaywarcriminals]

Qijiu Findom is Canon

So we've all seen this scene, right?

This scene is a fundamental piece of YQY characterization to me. There's a lot to be said about how this ties into YQY's desire to protect, provide for, and spoil SJ, but today I am here to talk about how this man would be really into financial domination. I truly can't believe that only one such qijiu fic exists (thank you to kat8cha I owe you my life). 

The core tenants of my qijiu findom manifesto are as follows: 

YQY doesn’t like spending money on himself 

YQY belongs to SJ

YQY loves providing for SJ 

SJ would rather take than receive

(Most of this post is more headcanon than directly evidenced, but I think it’s a logical jump from canon!)

YQY doesn’t spend money on himself 

This was the starting point of my thinking when I started spinning qijiu findom in my brain back in 2022. Yue Qingyuan, in my opinion, doesn’t like taking care of himself. I think he’s better about taking care of his physical needs to some degree because he’s aware that the consequences of him passing out or qi deviating would affect more than just himself, but his motivation is a.) to be a well functioning machine capable of fulfilling his role as sect leader, and b.) to Not Fuck Up. (One of adult YQY’s core traits is that he lives in perpetual fear of fucking up. More on that another day). Aside from the risk of heart demons damaging his cultivation, YQY doesn’t see any possible consequences to neglecting his mental health. 

And so, does YQY really deserve a comfortable bed? Does he really need any nice wall hangings in the parts of his home that guests will never see? The only seemingly indulgent purchases YQY makes are those needed to uphold his image as sect leader, like fine clothes and hair oils. Those are functionally business expenses, because YQY is aware that how he presents himself reflects on the entire sect. (SJ surely doesn’t see it that way— he only sees YQY putting on the affects of nobles and spending money like water, as bad as any of the natal lords in this sect). In the modern era, YQY would come home, take off his perfectly tailored suit, and flop face first onto his bare mattress on the floor.

YQY’s everything belong to SJ

I think that if SJ had asked, YQY would be willing to give him basically anything he owned. Fundamentally, YQY puts SJ’s life before his own. He would not have walked into near-certain death long after SJ became irredeemable to the rest of the cultivation world if that was not the case. Yue Qingyuan literally offers SJ his life. 

YQY would die if he thought it would make SJ happy. If YQY’s life and the sword that is his life can be forfeited to SJ, what’s a bit of money, or the material possessions that YQY cares little for? What’s his is SJ’s, and if it would make SJ happy, YQY would not hesitate to hand over whatever SJ asked for. 

YQY likes taking care of people.

Although the fanon of YQY being overly solicitous and constantly pushing gifts on SJ contracts canon (as far as I can tell, there's not a single instance in the novel of specfically Yue Qingyuan giving SQQ a gift-- at most, there's references to all the peak lords doing so), I think there’s a little truth to it— if YQY thought SJ would allow him to, he would absolutely give SJ whatever he thought the man might like or need. I would go as far as to say that he probably longs to do so. He is a service dog, after all.

Yue Qingyuan most often expresses his affection as protecting, taking care of, or expressing concern for others. Most of his 'wet puppy in the rain' moments in canon are not due to his own misery, but because he is concerned for SJ or SQQ. Yue Qingyuan is bad at existing for his own sake; he is constantly shown to be putting others and the sect above himself, and none more so than SJ. Personally. I don’t think this is just due to YQY’s strength of character. I think he gains a sense of purpose and identity from being the one to protect and take care of others. There is a reason I say YQY had eldest daughter syndrome: he needs someone to take care of For His Health.

Being allowed to give or buy things for SJ, or have SJ use YQY's assets to buy things himself, would fulfill YQY's needs. It would give him vital enrichment. After their long estrangement where SJ constantly ignores YQY, someone as simple as being able to express affection by providing for SJ would literally be a privilege to YQY. 

That's all well and good, but doesn't that just mean YQY's wants to be SJ's sugar daddy? Why do I specify findom instead? Well that's where we get to SJ.

SJ would be suspicious of gifts

SJ is a paranoid person, and many gifts come with some expectation of reciprocity. I think SJ’s ability to appreciate gifts would be hampered by his immediate unasked question: “what do you want from me?”. While gifts for Peak Lord Shen may pose less of an issue, as he’s able to quickly identify the motives from deference to bribery, gifts to Shen Jiu The Person may pose more of an issue, as the lack of a clear motive besides expressing affection leaves room for SJ’s mind to invent one. Honestly, SJ reacts similarly to most kindness— he himself is so rarely kind without a motive, so it’s hard for him to imagine that others might not be the same. (Any kindness Xiao Jiu showed his Qi-ge doesn’t count— SJ was only protecting what belonged to him 😤).

Because of this twisty brain maze he’s made for himself, SJ is far more comfortable taking something than receiving it. SJ learned as a child that he will be given nothing, and that taking things is necessary for survival, and he had no compunctions about it. Taking is an act of initiative and aggression: taking is winning. I actually think this is how he framed begging in his mind— by thinking of it as tricking people, he gets to feel like he’s won or stolen something, rather having to linger in the pity. 

Gifts, affection, and love can all be given this treatment. If SJ tricked YQY into loving him and must now cling to his rightfully earned possession, SJ needn’t address his own feelings. If YQY’s money is something SJ takes, he gets to feel like he’s taking advantage of YQY instead of having to feel like he’s reliant on YQY or like he's YQY's charity case.

SJ is a massive control freak, and he is always most comfortable in a relationship when he can tell himself he’s in control of the  dynamic, even if that makes the relationship appear unhealthy to an outside observer. Once YQY catches on to this, he would do absolutely everything he could to accommodate SJ (without SJ realizing he’s being accommodated ofc).

In short, YQY leaves his wallet on the nightstand, SJ takes or “steals” it and buys some overpriced designer good he doesn’t need, silently daring YQY to challenge him on it, and they both feel fulfilled by this. 

This is what peak performance looks like.

(Side note: there are a couple other ways to execute a findom for dynamic for qijiu! The main two I can think of are "Stupid Qi-ge’s money is so easy to steal: obviously I must steal it First, and use it Better, to Protect Him." and "Stupid Qi-ge is languishing/never takes care of himself. I must take his money and use it to force him to do self care." My tastes run angstier tho 😂)

[redxx95]

How Cherry Magic avoids romanticising self-sacrifice

Alright strap in boys, this is gonna be a long one.

Spoilers for the manga (mostly the english volumes but I will include a bit from vol 12. I'll mark it tho so yall may skip it if you don't want to be spoilered).

So in this one I want to examine how cherry magic does a great job at portraying self-sacrifice in a relationship as an actual flaw rather than a romantic ideal to aspire to. Very often you'll see characters in media putting their own needs aside for their lover. A lot of people will swoon at that because it is usually presented as proof of how dedicated they are to their partner and their wellbeing. (See... well the thai adaptation actually).

But what has pleasantly surprised me is how Toyota handles this in her manga.

Starting from the beginning, we all know the millions of things Kurosawa did for Adachi to get closer to him. After all, that is what's usually expected of him if we talk traditional gender roles. But one of the reasons Adachi even starts falling for Kurosawa is because of how he was for once able to do something for him.

For someone with very low self-esteem, being able to help this super-capable perfect man is a big boost in confidence and also raises his own selfworth.

So now let's look at a few instances of selfless action and the consequences resulting from them.

First one is the disaster-date in volume 4

Kurosawa does his very best to choose activities that he thinks Adachi will enjoy. That is his primary concern.

The effect this has on Adachi though is that the gap between them feels impossibly wide, only worsening his already low opinion of himself.

Whenever Kurosawa does something big, it makes Adachi feel that much smaller. That's why he'd rather them be equals in everything instead of one giving more than the other.

Next is the argument they have in volume 8

Kurosawa attempts to, very selflessly, protect Adachi from his lowkey homophobic parents. He doesn't want them and their opinions to hurt Adachi personally, so he ends up lying to him to keep the peace. The effect this has on Adachi though is disastrous. At first he's just generally worried about why Kurosawa would even lie to him in the first place, but then they have that fight in their living room and you really get a good look at how negatively this affects Adachi.

The very first conclusion he jumps to is that he's not doing good enough for Kurosawa to feel secure with him.

The next one is even worse, where he thinks he's not good enough in general. Both of these show how when pressed, he will default to blaming himself, believing that he is the problem first and foremost.

And then, if all of that wasn't bad enough, this happens next:

He's actually being self-deprecating again, something he hadn't done ever since Kurosawa told him not to in volume 5. And yes you can actually go back and check for yourself. Whenever he has negative thoughts after this point he's always pushing back.

So there's an escalation happening here, one that is entirely caused by Kurosawa not sharing his burdens with him, by making their relationship unequal.

I think it also hurts him extra bad because they've had this argument before, just with their roles switched.

So to him it must feel like Kurosawa is betraying the important lesson Adachi learned from that argument, which is that communicating with your partner is important, even when you feel like it might hurt them.

There's also something to be said about how most people would've probably stopped prodding when someone says "it's something I can't tell you", but Adachi knows that Kurosawa has a pattern of hiding his issues from him thanks to the mind reading, which is the whole reason they had that argument in vol 6 in the first place.

So, to summarize: Whenever Kurosawa acts selfless it takes a toll on Adachi's mental health. Because of his low self-esteem he needs to feel on equal terms with Kurosawa to be able to see himself as worthwhile. (And obviously he also loves Kurosawa and doesn't want to see him in pain just in general.)

So after all that, surely Kurosawa would have learned his lesson, right? Surely he wouldn't just do it again, right?

... Spoilers for volume 12 start here ✨

So volume 12 is all about Kurosawa overworking himself because he's been assigned this big project by their chief to oversee their company's spot at a stationery convention. (I didn't look up whether or not that's a real thing but it is in the manga universe I guess lmao.)

Adachi tries to help alleviate his burdens with mixed success.

(On the left he feeds Kurosawa because he needs to finish his work and doesn't have time to eat. On the right he tries to take a phonecall for Kurosawa but gets told that Kurosawa needs to hear it personally so relaying a message won't do.)

Then Adachi muses to himself how Kurosawa was always helping him out in the past and how Adachi can't do anything for him in return, especially since they're in different departments. He feels very useless, which is once again bad for his mental health.

Later at home, he offers to at least take over the chores for the time being, but gets told that Kurosawa actually enjoys doing chores so there's no need for him to help.

Kurosawa tells him that all he needs is Adachi to be close to him, while making out with him on the sofa. And right here we see how he only got half the lesson he was supposed to have learned in volume 8: In their fight Adachi told him that they should both be happy and he should share "all the hurt" with him, too. Well, the simple solution to that is not to see all his burdens as burdens, then he's not hurting and Adachi doesn't need to bother fussing over him! Win-win. Epic mind gymnastics 😎 (To be honest, I feel like this is actually very relatable to people that tend to give more than they take. We get so used to the weight of the burden that we don't notice it slowly pulling us down.)

So Adachi obviously notices what's going on and berates him about not having understood anything he said from that fight.

Throughout the volume Kurosawa gets more and more overworked, makes mistakes and is confronted with unexpected complications. He's very adamant about not asking anyone for help though, stating that he "can't be bothering his senpais any more than he already has" and that he's "doing this all for the sake of his future with Adachi".

He also still has some hangups about people seeing him as just a pretty face, as you can see in that flashback in the second page. He constantly feels the need to prove himself to others, which prevents him from ever seeking out help.

So when he inevitably reaches his limit, Adachi is finally able to be there for him, being the only one that sees through his facade.

(That hand kiss is so precious 😭)

Also, on that first page Adachi asks him whether or not he's fine, which reminds me of this panel from volume 6:

He really knows him so well.

Emboldened by his husband, Kurosawa finally does ask for help and is, of course, met with understanding and sympathy.

.

Spoilers for volume 12 end here ✨

So all this to say: Sometimes, when we try our best to be selfless and to protect the people close to us, we do more harm than good. Sometimes we cause harm to others (see volumes 4 and 8) and sometimes we cause harm to ourselves (see volume 12). It is of course a noble cause but it's not something to strive for at all times and can sometimes be actually counterproductive to what we wanted to achieve in the first place.

As someone who breaks themselves apart to help all the people around them, this aspect of the manga resonated very strongly with me and is probably the biggest reason I got so obsessed with this silly little BL romcom.

I know that this manga is not like, the best in quality. I know it's super niche and silly and cannot compare to the big popular mainstream manga with lots of depth and thought put into it, BUT.

A piece of art doesn't need to be "good" in order to resonate with people. You don't need to paint the mona lisa to reach someone and make them feel seen. You just need some sort of medium and a will to communicate something to the observer. (Something an AI could never replicate but that is a whole other discussion.)

This manga reached me when I needed it and it communicated a message that resonated with me and that is all it needed to do for me to love it to the point of obsession. 💖

Finally I'm done with this essay it is so long oh my god. If you reached the end of this, I'm so sorry. I hope you enjoyed it tho.

[ddollfface]

𝐘𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐀𝐥𝐩𝐡𝐚𝐛𝐞𝐭

𝗟𝗼𝘃𝗲𝗦𝗶𝗰𝗸!𝗔𝘁𝗵𝗹𝗲𝘁𝗲 𝘅 𝗮𝗳𝗮𝗯!𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗱𝗲𝗿

"You should stay up, I wanna keep flirting with ya';)))"

Trigger Warnings: reader is describe as "good girl", yandere behaviors, insinuation of abduction, some unwanted groping (not done by yandere), LoveSick!Athlete is delulu, possessiveness, a shit tone of manipulation, talking about LoveSick!Athlete's childhood (it was bad), bad writing, yandere invalidating reader's rightful anger/emotions. If I missed anything, then please let me know ♡ Just a yandere alphabet about my favorite boy. If you want more on him, or having any ideas, then send some requests! Or if you want to see a yandere alphabet for any other characters I've written about, then do that too!! (not proofread btw)

Affection: How do they show their love and affection? How intense would it get?

Okay, so I've touched on how LoveSick!Athlete shows their affection, but to expand on it, he is very, very touchy. He's always gotta hand on ya', never letting you further than a few feet away from him. It's not nessarily out of possesivness as he's pretty laid back as a yandere, but it more so comes from a place of wanting to take care of you. Not in a fatherly way! God no, that gross lol, but it's more so in the way of a husband providing for his wife. He wants to take care of you, watch over you, and just show you that he's the best option for you. He knows he's the best, but he's just gotta make sure that you know that too!

Another factor is that he comes from a very, very big family that's very physical with each other. His mother would always greet him with a hug, she still does now! He's the same. He's very touchy with both his friends and his darling. With his friends, he's patting them on the back, ruffling their hair, or wrestling with them. It's the same with his darling. LoveSick!Athlete is naturally playful, so he'll want to playfight with you. He wants to mess around with you! He wants to hold your hand, loop his arms around your shoulders, and pull you close. LoveSick!Athlete just finds the warmth of another person to be comforting, just knowing that your heart's still beating, and your brain's working puts him at ease.

Now, does it get intense? Well, it depends on the person. Say, you're not a very touchy person and you show your love through other means, then yes, it will be. Being with LoveSick!Athlete will be a constant tug-of-war as he'll have a hard time understanding your boundaries of not wanting to be touched. I mean, you're friends, right? Yeah? So then what's the big deal?

Blood: How messy are they willing to get when it comes to their darling?

Surprisingly, he won't get too aggressive with others. He's literally the embodiment of 'wear whatever you want, I'm tall and I can fight', no joke. He doesn't care too much what you wear. If anything, he prefers it, seeing as he gets to show you off to all the losers on campus.

If a guy gets too touchy or makes you uncomfortable, then he'll step in and teach the guy a lesson. He's an athlete, so he's strong and capable of fighting someone. Will he kill someone for you? Sure, depends on the situation. LoveSick!Athlete leans more towards mental forms of manipulation than physical violence. He gets enough of that in the rink too much to be bringing that into his relationship. For a brute, it's surprising how level-headed he is, or how he seems to be.

Cruelty: How would they treat their darling once abducted? Would they mock them?

Hmmm, how do we define "abducted"? 'Cause LoveSick!Athlete doesn't techinically kidnap his darling, instead he slowly isolates them from their social circle, gradually becoming their only safety net. It gets to the point where you'll come over to his house and just never leave.

But let's just say we're counting this as abduction (I do lol), then nothing really changes. LoveSick!Athlete treats you the same. He's still touchy, affectionate, happy, and laid back. He's pretty confident in his ability to convince make you stay with him.

LoveSick!Athlete doesn't do mocking, especially not toward his darling that's reserved for the pigs who perv on you. He's a little more forceful with his affections, only if you aren't behaving like a good girl. If you aren't fitting into his ideal view of a relationship, then he won't be too pleased, but he's patient. He can wear you down.

Darling: Aside from abduction, would they do anything against their darling’s will?

He'll force you into a relationship, into giving him affection, etc. Though you don't really realize this until it's too late. The thing with LoveSick!Athlete is that he's a mass manipulator. Honestly, he should get paid for how good he is at it.

LoveSick!Athlete will trick the people around you into believing that you two are in a relationship, not denying any allegations against you two. He'll brag to his teammates that he's got the sweetest girl in the uni. You'll be confused as hell when a bunch of hockey players are sneaking glances at you from the bench, trying to creep a peek at the Captain's new girl. Though he won't tell you, just stating that people must see the chemistry between the two of us. It must be a sign, yeah? And blah, blah, blah.

He'll whisper some sweet words laced in honey, causing your cheeks to grow warm and hands to become clammy. It's the same with affection. When you're just friends, he'll wrap an arm around your shoulder, intertwine your hands with his, and place a hand on the small of your back. All these actions are too small to think anything of, but they just put you off. I mean, it's nothing to get too worked up over.

Exposed: How much of their heart do they bear to their darling? How vulnerable are they when it comes to their darling?

You see, LoveSick!Athlete does love you, no, really. He does, with all his heart, but that thing is that he's used to wearing a mask. He's constantly playing up the "popular jock" stereotype. He has to be cool and get all the ladies. That's just his 'mask', if you will.

But with you, it feels like he can be real, y'know? Of course, this will take time and will likely only happen after he's abducted you and you've figured out all the shit he's been doing behind your back. Once he feels like he's gotten all the hard stuff out of the way, like the threatening, lying, and more, he'll drop the mask. The persona isn't too far different than the real him. The real him is a lot less cocky, more self-assured, and calm. LoveSick!Athlete, the real him, is far less brash and cheeky, instead, he's more sluggish. He acts more like a smitten fool, feeling secure in his relationship with you. Without the mask, he's just a normal dude who wants all your affection. He doesn't know how to handle this overwhelming sense of need he feels for you, the need to provide for you, protect you, and prove himself to you. And this primal need to feel useful is what drives his yandere tendencies.

Fight: How would they feel if their darling fought back?

Meh, he doesn't care too much. If anything, he finds it amusing. He might tease his darling, but not mock them. He'll try to resolve the situation with a level head, trying to calm you down. He'll use different manipulation tactics like gaslighting, guilt-tripping, playing the victim, and more. It all really depends on what you do, honestly. LoveSick!Athlete is a very patient person, surprisingly, so it'll be difficult to make him overly pissed off. You'd have to do something very, very bad.

Game: Is this a game to them? How much would they enjoy watching their darling try to escape?

Nope, not really. Listen, LoveSick!Athlete wants comfort, he wants you. He wouldn't be pursuing and locking you away providing for you if he didn't see you as a viable partner! That'd be a waste of time, which he doesn't have.

Though, he won't deny that he finds it somewhat amusing when his darling tries to get rid of him. He more so, just wants to know the reasoning behind it, wanting to get in your head. He wants to know how you tick, what makes you think. This way he'll know how to break you down and make you his help you understand his point of view. He also just wants to know who you are.

Hell: What would be their darling’s worst experience with them?

Hmmm, okay, so this is going to get pretty grim, but reader's worst moment with LoveSick!Athlete would be when he let his teammates rough 'em up. You both had just gotten into an argument, something about you're relationship. Let's just say that you may have claimed screamed that you didn't need him. That you were fine on your own, that maybe, just maybe, you're friendship or relationship, in his eyes, was holding you back, and you may need to see different people.

Obviously, LoveSick!Athlete wasn't pleased with this, but he'd make you stand by your word. You think you don't need him? Okay, fine then. Try it.

And that's what he does. When his teammates, around three of them, begin to crowd you, their hands getting a little grabby, and eyes layered in lust. He doesn't do anything, I mean. Afterall, you don't need him, right? You don't need his protection, yeah? You're a big girl. Act like it then.

He watched as his buddies fondled you, touching you in places only he had. Your eyes flooded with tears, blurring your vision. You called out to him, begging him, wanting him to help you. You confessed, you needed him.

He made you repeat yourself, wanting you say it again. You do. That's all you had to do. Really, it was pretty simple. You need him.

Ideals: What kind of future do they have in mind for/with their darling?

Well, LoveSick!Athlete is a college student, so he's not thinking too far ahead. But he does know that he loves you. He wants you. He wants to be with you for the rest of his life. He wants to get a good job, not in athletics. He's good, obviously, but he knows that it's stupid to grasp at straws, so he's pursuing a program that'll help him get his associate degree.

He doesn't know if he wants kids, yet, but he won't deny that the idea of a mini him and you running around is a nice thought. But you're young. You've got time. Nothin' to rush, yeah?

Jealousy: Do they get jealous? Do they lash out or find a way to cope?

I've already written about this in another post, soooo refer to it right here.

Kisses: How do they act around or with their darling?

I'm pretty sure that I've already gone over this in the previous letters, but I can kinda expand on it ig.

LoveSick!Athlete likes to show you off. You're his girl, his ride-ordie, y'know? He's proud of you and your accomplishments. He'll rave to anyone who'll listen, going on and on about your recent successes and such. He'll tell a random cashier about you, proceeding to get yelled at by the old lady behind him. In total, he's a lovesick puppy.

He's clingy but confident at the same time. He has to be touching you at all times, seeing it as his way of showing affection. He buys you things, you sucks up to you, and more. He's the definition of a simp, but he's more laid back. He's not necessarily in your face as he has a chill vibe to him, if that makes sense lol.

Idk really what else to say on that so yeah :)

Love letters: How would they go about courting or approaching their darling?

He'll drive off any competition, scaring them off with his broad shoulders, and lean muscles. However, he doesn't really need to scare others off as most people get the hint 'cause he never stops talking about you.

Anyway, he'll force you to study with him, pretending to be stupid so that you'll take pity on him. This way he'll get you talking, wanting to listen to you just speaking. From there he'll ask you out to coffee.

Or he'll suddenly interject himself into your friend group, but no one will question it as he's too smooth. LoveSick!Athlete is very charismatic and a lot of people like him, so they wouldn't think much of it.

Overall, he'll listen to his darling, absorbing everything they say like a sponge. He'll try to see you often, this way you'll be absentmindedly thinking of him. He might even convince some of his buddies to talk about him to you, hyping him up and such. If you have any siblings, then he'll become buddy-buddy with them, especially if they're younger than you both. (He's good with kids btw).

Mask: Are their true colors drastically different from the way they act around everyone else?

Literally, talked about this exact thing in letter E lol

Naughty: How would they punish their darling?

LoveSick!Athlete doesn't really do punishments, y'know? It's mostly taking away privileges that you've given previously. For example, you'll have your favorite food taken out of the pantry, forcing you to eat oatmeal or something idk. Maybe, he'll take away your phone, make you do a shit tone of push-ups or something like that. The majority of the punishments he does are just inconvenient, nothing too scary.

But that's just for minor things. You try to run away or something, but there are certain things that make him "snap" if you will. Things like hurting yourself, trying to kill him, and insulting how well/well he takes care of you. Like the situation I described in letter H, if you insult it capabilities of providing and taking care of you, then he will spiral. And that won't be fun...

Oppression: How many rights would they take away from their darling?

Nope, out of all my OCS, I would say that LoveSick!Athlete is the most laid back. He doesn't care for too many things. Honestly, he's probably the best yandere to have if you're a brat. He'll humor you instead of squashing you, even though he could easily do so.

Patience: How patient are they with their darling?

I've already gone over this multiple times throughout this post. Lovesick!Athlete has the patience of an angel, which is surprising due to how aggressive he is in the rink.

Quit: If their darling dies, leaves, or successfully escapes, would they ever be able to move on?

No, God no, he'll shut himself out. He'd likely quit his sport and never play away. He wouldn't be able to enter a rink again, there's no way. If you were to somehow die, then he'd fall into a manic depression, all of his patience wearing away slowly. He wouldn't know what to do with himself. When you were with him, he knew what he wanted in life. He had a picture of you and him, together with a little boy. The baby would've had your eye shape and his hair, dark curls. His whole life was there, just right there in his reach.

But say you were to successfully escape, he'd immediately going to try to find you. He knows that you wouldn't be able to go to the police, he's not stupid. He knows how to cover his steps, besides, he's a master manipulator. He's probably ruined your mental fortitude and he can do the same to the cops.

Regret: Would they ever feel guilty about abducting their darling? Would they ever let their darling go?

No, not really. He doesn't believe that he abducted you, instead, he thinks that he just convinced you. That he just led you down the right path, to him. Everything does is fueled by his love for you, all he wants to do is be happy with you. That's all.

Sometimes he'll feel a little remorseful if his darling begins to close themselves up and lock him out (metaphorically), but he doesn't process the abduction as being the reasoning for the behavior. He just thinks that you're going through something, there's no way that he could be the problem, right?

He does feel bad, as he does have feelings, but he just doesn't associate your negative reactions/emotions with his actions.

And, about letting his darling go, no he wouldn't. He doesn't think he's holding them hostage in the first place! He just believes that he's keeping the relationship thriving. He doesn't think that your relationship is toxic (despite the constant gaslighting he puts you through), so he just wants to mend your relationship. I mean, just talk to him, there's no reason to be so rash!

Stigma: What brought about this side of them (childhood, curiosity, etc)?

Let's just say that LoveSick!Athlete didn't have a father in the home, causing him to drift away from his family and spiral (at certain times). He never grew up in the most stable home, money was tight, and his mama was exhausted, having to care for four kids and all. And seeing his mama struggle so much caused him to want to be a provider, someone his loved ones could call for help. He wants to be the breadwinner, the person keeping you safe (both physical and monetarily).

The only problem is that he...well... doesn't really know what a healthy relationship looks like, seeing as his mama was never in one. Before his pa left (when he was two), he would beat his mama and siblings. Though LoveSick!Athlete doesn't really remember, as was just a babe at the time, y'know?

After that, his mama never stayed in one relationship for very long, besides him mama also wasn't the most stable person. She had BPD (Bipolar disorder), so she'd always have high highs and low low, never staying emotionally stable. Though LoveSick!Athlete doesn't have BPD, he did inherit some of his mama's habits, from watching her maneuver in her relationships.

Her habits imprinted on him, and let's just say that they weren't the healthiest thing in the world. This is where he got his good manipulation skills. At this point in his life, LoveSick!Athlete absentmindingly will use manipulation to get what he wants. Love bombing and gaslighting seem to be his main tactics he uses on others. (if people want to know more, then I'm totally open to an in-depth of his crappy childhood)

Tears: How do they feel about seeing their darling scream, cry, and/or isolate themselves?

Refer to letter R for this)))

Unique: Would they do anything different from the classic yandere

Noun. yandere (plural yanderes) (chiefly Japanese fiction) A character, usually a girl, who has an obsessive and possessive side in regards to their crush, ready to use violent and murderous means to maintain an exclusive bond. This is what google defines as a yandere and I'm going to use this as my basis for this question. Now, LoveSick!Athlete differs from this definition in the last part. He doesn't really resort to violent or murderous tendencies, instead using his manipulation skills to keep you close.

He doesn't feel the need to get violent, seeing as he's the best (in his mind). Don't get me wrong, he will if he needs to, but usually not.

I suppose that's something makes him different. Another thing is that he's very, very lenient with his darling, never putting too many boundaries on their shoulders. In his mind, he's in a normal relationship with you, meaning he doesn't need to act super crazy. Though he won't hesitate to take this privileges away from you, so just behave like a good girl, yeah?

Vice: What weakness can their darling exploit in order to escape?

The fact that he let's you go out into put freely or, more so, how many privileges you get. It's really easy to escape, no joke. But the only problem is that he has connections. Though he's only in college, and he's young, he has a lot of connections through his athletic scholarship and such. He knows a lot of people, due to his charisma (or rizz lol) and they're all under his thumb.

So it's easy to get out, but staying out is the hard part 'cause he'll hunt you like a dog on a misson.

Wit’s end: Would they ever hurt their darling?

Maybe he'll grip you too tight or give ya' a little spanking (if you know what I mean pffttt), but he'd never lay a hand on you. He wouldn't cut you, stab you, or anything like that. Nope. He watched his mama get hurt far too many times.

He just wants to be your protector, not your abuser. Though he can get a little out of hand. If you were to ever accuse him, or just plainly call his a woman beater, abuser, etc. etc. then he'll go a little... crazy?

He wants to feel needed, loved, and cared for, so if you start going on about how you don't need him, then he may be a tiny bit mad. Situations like the ones I talked about in letter H will happen far more often if you take this sentiment.

If you don't realize that you need him, then he might need to make you realize it. Of course, he won't be touching you so violently, but that doesn't mean he won't get someone else to do it for him.

Xoanon: How much would they revere or worship their darling? To what length would they go to win their darling over?

He doesn't worship his darling, but he does respect you. He sees you as his equal. If he didn't, then he wouldn't even be pursuing you. He wouldn't be spending so much time tyring to get with, going through all the work to infiltrate your life, and make you notice him. He doesn't have time for that, but he's making time just. for. you.

Now, how far would he go for you? I don't think he'd murder someone, he'd just rough them up, make them know their place. He doesn't really do violence, preferring public humiliation and underhanded tactics. He'll threaten people, blackmail them, and just plain gaslight them. He won't go any farther than that, unless he's provoked I suppose. Like if it's a dire situation where you, or him, need defending, then he's more than capable of putting a guy six feet under.

Yearn: How long do they pine after their darling before they snap?

As long as it takes, baby. He's young, you're young, you're both young. You guys have time to waste, time to life and such. You're both in college, so he thinks that he's got time to convince you, to reel you into his arms.

I've said this previously, but he's very patient. He's willing to wait if it's for you. But something that would make him snap is if you try to move away, though this won't push him to kidnap your necessarily, it'll just put him on edge. He'll begin to be more forward with his advances if this were to happen.

Zenith: Would they ever break their darling?

Accidently? Maybe. Purposefully? God, no. I'm even skeptical about the accident part, I don't think he can break you. He's far to calm and gentle of a yandere to break his darling.

You'd have to get him really, really mad for something drastic to happen. Even then, compared to other yanderes, it's not even that bad. Or that's what he tells you at least.

[australianbeyonce]

𝒒𝒖𝒐𝒕𝒆𝒔 𝒊’𝒗𝒆 𝒉𝒊𝒈𝒉𝒍𝒊𝒈𝒉𝒕𝒆𝒅 𝒇𝒓𝒐𝒎 𝑱𝒐𝒆 𝑫𝒊𝒔𝒑𝒆𝒏𝒛𝒂’𝒔 ‘𝑩𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒌𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝑯𝒂𝒃𝒊𝒕 𝒐𝒇 𝑩𝒆𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒀𝒐𝒖𝒓𝒔𝒆𝒍𝒇’

ch 1: the quantum you

we are part of a vast, invisible field of energy, which contains all possible realities and responds to our thoughts and feelings.

your thoughts have consequences so great that they create your reality.

we don’t have to settle for our present reality; we can create a new one, whenever we choose to.

your thoughts shape your destiny.

everything in your life is not solid matter—rather, it’s all fields of energy and frequency patterns of information.

energy responds to your mindful attention and becomes matter.

everything in our physical reality exists as pure potential.

if subatomic particles can exist in an infinite number of possible places simultaneously, we are potentially capable of collapsing into existence an infinite number of possible realities.

if you can imagine a future event in your life based on any one of your personal desires, that reality already exists as a possibility in the quantum field, waiting to be observed by you.

you are powerful enough to influence matter because at the most elementary level you are energy with a consciousness.

we don’t need to be touching or even in close proximity to any physical elements in the quantum field to affect or be affected by them.

the “you” that exists in a probable future is already connected to the “you” in this now.

when you hold clear focused thoughts about your purpose, accompanied by your passionate emotional engagement, you broadcast a stronger electromagnetic signal that pulls you toward a potential reality that matches what you want.

hold a clear intention of what you want, but leave the “how” details to the unpredictable and quantum field. let it orchestrate an event in your life in a way that is just right for you.

when you do create purposefully, request a sign from the quantum consciousness that you have made contact with it. dare to ask for synchronicities related to your specific desired outcomes. when you do, you are being bold enough to want to know that this consciousness is real and that it is aware of your efforts.

since the quantum field is nothing but immaterial probability, it is outside of space and time. as soon as we observe one of those infinite probabilities and give it material reality, it acquires those two characteristics.

chapters cont. below

ch 2: overcoming your environment

the subjective mind has an effect on the objective world.

an observer can affect the subatomic world and influence a specific event.

if you can influence your brain to change before you experience a desired future event, you will create the appropriate neural circuits that will enable you to behave in alignment with your intention before it becomes a reality in your life. through your own repeated mental rehearsal of a better way to think, act, or be, you will “install” the neural hardware needed to physiologically prepare you for the new event.

ch 3: overcoming your body

every potential already exists

when you have thoughtfully rehearsed a future reality until your brain has physically changed to look like it had the experience, you have emotionally embraced a new intention so many times that your body is altered to reflect that it has has the experience, hang on… because this is the moment the event finds you.

ch 4: overcoming time

in the present, all potentials exist simultaneously in the field. when we stay present, when we are “in the moment,” we can move beyond space and time, and we can make any one of those potentials a reality. when we are mired in the past, however, none of those new potentials exist.

if we focus on an intended future event and then plan how we will prepare or behave, there will be a moment when we are so clear and focused on that possible future that the thoughts we are thinking will begin to become the experience itself.

you have all the neurological machinery to transcend time.

ch 5: survival vs. creation

as our emotions become more elevated, we naturally ascend to a higher level of consciousness, closer to source… and feel more connected to universal intelligence.

when you’re living in the elevated emotion of creation, you feel so lifted that you would never try to analyze how or when a chosen destiny will arrive. you trust that it will happen because you have already experienced it.

do you it has already occurred in no space, no time, no place, from which all things material spring forth. you are in a state of knowingness; you can relax into the present and no longer live in survival.

to anticipate or analyze when, where, or how the event will occur will only cause you to return to your old identity.

ch 6: three brains: thinking to doing to being

it’s often useful to compare one’s brain to a computer, and it’s true that yours already has the hardware you’ll need to change your “self” and your life.

because you are thinking and feeling differently, you are changing reality.

you can’t think one way and feel another and expect anything in your life to change.

change your state of being… and change your reality.

choose a potential reality that you want, live it in your thoughts and feelings.

give thanks ahead of the actual event.

when your body experiences that the event is occurring in that moment and feels real to you, based solely on what you’re focused on mentally and feeling emotionally, then you are experiencing the future now.

ch 7: the gap

imagine how much good you could do by converting any destructive energy to productive energy. contemplate what you could accomplish if you weren’t focused on survival (a selfish emotion), but instead worked to create out of positive intentions (a selfless emotion).

ask yourself: what energy from past experiences (in the form of limited emotions) am i holding on to that reinforces my past identity and emotionally attaches me to my current circumstances? could i use this same energy and transform it into an elevated state from which to create a new and different outcome?

and do you know the funny thing about not wanting of lacking for anything? that’s when you can really begin to manifest things naturally.

ch 8: meditation, demystifying the mystical, and waves of your future

decide to stop being the old you

once that emotion is created you begin to feel like your new ideal, and that new feeling will start to become familiar. remember that when your body begins to respond as if the experience is already present reality, you will signal your genes in new ways… and your body will commence to change now, ahead of the physical event in your life.

[hwnglx]

dating bts - q&a

personality qualities they like, what is love to them, mtl easy to date as a “regular” person, is jin unpopular or just shy, jin's favorite type of dates, taehyung's relationship with jennie, jimin's jealousy, new pet for jk and his fs? etc.

based on tarot. i do not know these idols personally. energies are always changing. what i say is NOT straight fact. pls take it with a grain of salt!

all members

❥ what kind of qualities (personality) does bts like?

seokjin: a person with a lot of depth. the type of people who get more interesting and intriguing the better you get to know them, and the more layers you peel back. i also got the card of the lovers, which is ruled by gemini -> someone smart he can enjoy mentally stimulating conversations with; especially the ones that have the potential to open your eyes to some things you didn't consider before. i can see him liking to bond with people in an intellectual manner. jin likes people whose minds and hearts align with his (i keep hearing “마음 통해” which basically translates to that) openminded and sweethearted people, who make him feel understood and loved for everything that he comes with, including his quirks and insecurities. he likes people who display sources of affection and support to the people around them, and bring this sense of harmony to situations that seem chaotic on the outside. boiling down to the libra archetype; someone who's charming, kind, loving and balanced. air signs, you have this man's heart.

yoongi: direct, straightfoward and assertive people, who aren't afraid to courageously speak their mind. an individualistic and self-aware person who doesn't put much importance into fitting in, or blending in with the crowd, and goes after their own personal objectives without really caring about what others think. someone who knows what they want and need in life, and doesn't shy away from taking the necessary action. at the same time, he likes chill and laidback people who don't engage in unnecessary and childish drama. someone who doesn't just speak empty words or creates conflicts out of thin air, but has good tact and appropriate sense of timing. strategic, smart and quick-witted people you can hold interesting conversations with.

hobi: mature and future-oriented. someone who doesn't dwell on the past and tries to always keep an optimistic attitude and outlook on life. people who aren't afraid to dream high, have their personal goals for life. someone who not actively strives for happiness and contentment within themselves, but also spreads the joy to the people around them. rather than people who are extremely uptight, intense, stern and take life too seriously; hobi likes sweet people who always try to see the positive in things. people who know how to appreciate what they have, and can find happiness in the little things. he likes a person he can enjoy the simple blessings of life with.

namjoon: someone who knows how to count and appreciate their blessings in life, while also not being afraid or running away from the inevitable negativity it can come with. openly celebrates the upsides, doesn't reject the downsides. someone with a realistic and grounded attitude and approach towards life. well-rounded, multi-faceted, upright and mature. honest and well-spoken. knows how to get to the core of things -> doesn't shy away from talking about deeper and more vulnerable topics, but does it in a gentle and careful manner. intelligence. emotionally, as well as intellectually. someone wise who can match him in terms of his philosophical vein, and has a good understanding of life. i got the card of the empress (lying in the middle of the three of swords and three of cups), which represents a beautiful mother figure, who's not not only the nurturer of the deck, but also known to multitask in an effortless manner.

taehyung: friendly people who are capable of emotionally profound and meaningful connections to others. someone pleasant, with a calm presence, who makes you feel comfortable. he also likes it when a person is stable, reliable, keeps their promises and has a strong sense of responsibility; the type of person who has developed a good balance between keeping both their work and personal life in check. wouldn't sacrifice one for the other. in addition, he likes people who are wise, intelligent, knowledgable with a sense of complexity to their personality. someone sensible who knows about the importance of keeping your cards close to your chest, and knows how to keep a secret. rather than people who just go around like an open book, sharing their business with everyone, he likes it when someone carries themselves with poise, and an enchanting type of mystery.

jimin: someone emotionally intelligent and in tune with their feelings, who approaches others with a genuine sense of compassion and understanding. people who know what it's like to struggle in life. i can see jimin feeling drawn towards people who've lived through certain difficulties themselves, and are therefore capable of bringing a different type of empathy to the table. non-judgemental and kind people who make you feel understood and accepted for who you are at your core, regardless of your downfalls and faults, or superficial flaws others might deem as unattractive. (nearly everytime i read for him, i get the feeling he's a little worried about being judged for his imperfections..) he likes it when someone has an inspiring and uplifting effect on others, and is capable of pulling the good out of every situation, no matter how awful it might seem. a bright-spirited person, who is able to find the light in the darkest of tunnels.

jungkook: someone bold, with a strong and powerful presence. a disciplined person who knows exactly what they want and has a clear direction in life. he likes it when people are sure of themselves, and not only aware of their objectives and ambitions in life, but also not afraid to take action, and do whatever it takes to reach their goals -> independent people who courageously put in relentless effort into their endeavours without batting an eye. he likes people whose energies light up a room. in addition, i can see jk feeling intrigued by people who are different to him, in language, culture, lifestyle, etc. or let's say someone has this specific hobby they're very good at and invested in, he'd feel inspired by that; especially if he himself believes he isn't good at it. lastly, he likes it when people aren't shy to be straightforward in their expression, and outspoken. he definitely enjoys mental challenges and playful bickering, and can feel drawn to people who aren't afraid to poke and provoke him sometimes.

❥ what is love to bts?

jimin didn't seem very comfortable with this question, so i excluded him

seokjin: to jin, love is something that flows. it comes to you naturally and progressively, and makes you want to share the valuable times you usually spent on your own, with another person. it makes you want to put your own selfish needs and desires aside, and willingly compromise with your partner; simply because you care about them, and genuinely love them. love isn't overly complicated to jin, it can be if you want to look at it that way; however, he prefers seeing it as something that makes life fun and exciting again, as opposed to displaying a source of pressure and weight. more than anything, he wants to just enjoy the sole feeling of being in love. he doesn't enjoy the thought of feeling attached or tied to someone in a suffocating manner but instead, sees coming together with his lover, as something that can first and foremost bring you pure joy and happiness. he wants to foster an atmosphere of natural understanding, consideration, and harmony. he believes love is about giving and receiving in an equal exchange, rather than strong power dynamics, and wants his lovers to feel heard out, listened to and cared about. he wants them to feel like their opinion matters, not any more than his, but also not any less.

yoongi: to yoongi, love is something that can require you to get out of your comfort zone. it might be a matter he doesn't exactly feel like his most comfortable or real self in, as he can often primarily see the limitations the heaviness of the word can come with. or shall i say, the weight society naturally ties to that word, as opposed to what it truly is in his eyes. he might not be the type to say “i love you” to many people, but instead, displays his love and affection by remaining consistent and persistent in his interest towards knowing, and understanding all of the facets of the person he's with. rather than taking it too deep, yoongi likes having relationships that can reflect positively in each other's independent lives. meaning, he believes that love can have a significant impact on the way you carry yourself, view the world, in retrospect treat the people around you. he believes when you love someone, you will want to have those impactful and significant conversations, that spark important mental breakthroughs in each other, and naturally bring you a refreshing sense of power within yourself. he believes love is when people make each other feel understood, supported, empowered, strong and encouraged.

hobi: (not him showing me an entire lovestory i will cry) to hobi, love is something pure that bares your soul. it's something where, you aren't afraid to allow your walls to come down and make yourself vulnerable to someone. i heard “home”. he believes that love should make you feel comfortable, and safe. it makes you want to open yourself up to a person in all your entirety, and feel accepted and loved for everything that you come with. in his eyes, if you love someone, you will love them unconditionally; with all their faults, downfalls, flaws and blemishes. but you will also be a strong source of support, and help the person with improving themselves as much as they can. hobi sees love as something that makes you care about someone in a profound manner, it awakens your desire to look after someone, and asks you to put the entirety of your heart, soul and effort into it. he believes that love consists of making the most beautiful memories together and treasuring them for a lifetime. he also sees marriage as a significant factor, which should come to you as a natural desire, once you realize the person you're with is the one you wanna be with for a lifetime.

namjoon: to namjoon, love is an uniquely universal feeling that connects people all over the world in a way like nothing else can. he sees love as something that requires straightforwardness, honesty and effective communication. in his eyes, in order to know whether it's love or not; you have to observe whether the both of you feel comfortable about speaking and showcasing yourself and all your facets truthfully, and feel understood for what your most authentic self consists of. he wishes for love to be an equal exchange of give and take, ying and yang; a balanced union where the two of you not only complement and complete each other perfectly, but naturally support each other in the pursuit of your individual endeavors. joon thinks that love should make you want to take care of your own self too, and make the healthiest choices possible, in order to serve the precious person you owe being your best self to. if he's in love, he wants to better himself continuously and expects the same in return.

taehyung: to taehyung, love is the perfect, and most fulfilling union between people. he believes that love is pure and innocent in its rawest form, and emotionally connects people in this unique manner. he sees love as something that can come unexpectedly and catch you off guard, but pulls on your heartstrings like nothing else. it just heightens your emotions like nothing else ever could. taehyung sees love as something that starts off with two people sincerely enjoying each other's companies, and feeling this desire to be with each other continuously. he's someone who can genuinely cherish every second he spends with his lover, because it can make you feel like the world has never been as beautiful as during the moments you're together. in his eyes, love grows increasingly deep the more time is spent together, realizing that this is someone who completes me and heals me in ways nothing else could. he sees love as an intimate and unique bond that only the two of them can understand. he wants to consistently invest his effort into making sure the spark between the two remains alive, no matter how much time passes, and thinks that for love, nothing is ever truly enough.

jungkook: for jungkook, love gives you purpose. it's something that makes everything worth it; the continuous grind is worth it, the neverending hustle is worth it, the inner turmoil is worth it. the ship that was aimlessly sailing before, desperate to know what it's conquering all these storms for, finally knows its destination. love gives jk a reason to keep going. he looks at love as an eternal promise, to never stop working on yourself, out of the genuine desire to give the person you love what they deserve. a strong promise to remain fiercely devoted and dedicated to that one special person in your life. he believes that if you love someone, you should be willing to embrace everything that it can come with; the beautiful, fulfilling and enriching upsides, that make you feel like your most powerful and valuable self, as well as the strenous, demanding and often times weighty downsides, that can border on being torturous. you're willing to go through the dirt, because the love of your life is worth it. love makes jk realize that, life isn't just all about ourselves; it makes him acknowledge how in the end to him, one of the most rewarding ways to live is by unselfishly serving the person you love, and in case you start a family, providing the most treasured and important people in your life, with the feeling of security, stability and comfort.

❥ mtl easy to date as a “regular” person

pls remember this is just according to tarot and my observation, this list could be different for others!

#1 jimin: lovers and five of wands

surprised me a little, i won't lie. i don't jimin cares too much about the superficial factors to a person, such as financial or social status, etc.. moreso sees love as a profound and unique feeling, that isn't just limited to people in the same realm. he believes that even if, e.g. external forces or personal differences could potentially display sources of conflict for the two, if the love and attraction is powerful enough; they'll be able to make it through. he'd want to make it through. there's a bit of a naive and slightly delusional aspect to him here, which is sweet since.. he usually gives me darker energy in terms of romantic topics. he gives me a little lonely energy these days, he might feel a little desperate to finally find his person.

#2 taehyung: ace of swords

so, taehyung seems quite open to dating whoever he finds interesting, as long as he feels like their minds align. the ace is more of a seed that hasn't blossomed into anything substantial yet though, so while i do believe he'd be ready for the idea of it; there could be difficulties in it developing further. i see him more ready for a fling and casual dating, rather than a committed and devoted relationship. i can't shake off the feeling that for the longterm, he'd want someone who's a better match for him in terms of their financial means, their status, etc. i can see him still prefering to date a person who's somehow involved in the industry as well.

#3 yoongi: temperance and fool rx

so in true yoongi fashion, he gave me the “whatever” feeling. like, he doesn't really care if it's a regular person he met at the café shop or not, he will vibe with whoever he vibes with. however! the reversed fool is telling me a clear “i'm not ready to take any risks though” he's very intuitive and good at figuring people out. so, he won't jump into any connection carelessly, and absolutely won't entertain a relationship where he feels like he's the one pouring into the cup more than they are. he needs to feel like it's a balanced union, where they're both on the same page. so it's like, if he feels like the person is only there to get him to.. idk, constantly buy them stuff, pull the good out of dating a bangtan member; best believe, yoongi will be out the door right away.

#4 hobi: justice, ten of cups and king of pentacles

hm, i don't see hobi being fully against it. he usually doesn't discriminate or judge people based on superficial matters at first, and wouldn't necessarily let it stand in the way of love. however.. he does seem to have high standards, which i don't see everyone being capable of reaching. it's like, he gives in at first, but might quickly realize it doesn't work as well as he had thought. one thing that keeps coming through, is how he believes that in a relationship, the scale should be balanced. i can sense this being quite pronounced in a financial manner; i've seen this come through a few times now, where the members can at times, prefer dating someone who's in possession of their own financial means as well, since that'd rule out the possibility of them being taken advantage of financially. i also see him wanting his lovers to respect his need for autonomy when it comes to his career. he might feel like a person in a similar position would be more understanding and tolerant concerning his lifestyle.

#5 jungkook: ace of wands, four of swords, three of cups, three of pentacles and judgement

so, jk seems like a member who's openminded. i see him being able to find a seed of passion with a variety of people; doesn't matter if they're a regular civilian, celebrity, fellow idol, etc. (tbh i will also admit, the ace of wands is very physical too, so hooking up is more likely) however, seed is the deciding word here, since the connection developing further could be difficult. what's interesting is; i don't see this being because of him, but moreso because of his environment, and the unavoidable circumstances that come with dating a man of his status. he's someone who not only has a lot of people around him, in private or at work, but also a lot of eyes and microscopes on him; which could potentially end up putting his partner into that same harsh magnifying glass. the judgement card at the bottom of the deck made things click for me; he's afraid of the unfair judgement his person could be under. not only that, them being a “regular” person could make it even rougher on them and their mental state, since they're not used to all the attention. i can't help but feel bad for him, since i do believe he actually likes the idea of dating someone out of the limelight.. but he isn't sure if he'd make the decision to willingly put his lover through that.

#6 namjoon: high priestess

i believe namjoon would take a long time to warm up to the person. like you'd have to earn one hundred percent and every single ounce of his trust, in order for him to feel like he can be with you in such an intimate way. i don't see him completely closed off from the idea, but he'd test the waters for a good while. like getting to know you and studying you thoroughly, to make sure he can figure out your motives before giving in. this man is smart. like if you come to him with any ulterior motives, best believe he'll see right through you. you can't trick him. i feel like him and yoongi are the most “no bs” members, that you just can not fool. i also believe he puts a lot of importance into intelligence and education when it comes his partners. (i'm not saying “regular” people aren't educated, just an insight i got in regards to his standards)

#7 seokjin: wheel of fortune, queen of swords and devil

so, usually seokjin is more openminded. i don't see him directly rejecting the idea in the past. but, i keep getting the queen of swords for him.. he might've gone through some negative experiences, which have resulted in him being extra careful about letting people in. he reads as very guarded and cautious when it comes to who he allows into his private life. telling you all, these men have a lot! of people who just wanna be with them for greedy and selfish purposes. it's genuinely difficult to be sure that the person is with you, for you only, rather than what you could do for them. they literally see bangtan as opportunities, and ways to climb up the latter, gather attention, get money, etc. so i truly don't see seokjin being very open to the idea. he'd be closed off, i see him being mistrustful about everything.. like “why do you wanna know this, why do you wanna know that?”

seokjin

❥ recently jin said he hasn't been asked out by anyone, is he not popular or just shy?

i don't see him as unpopular (i don't really see anyone in bangtan being considered unpopular), but moreso as someone who gives off an unapproachable vibe.

people either seem to look at him as someone who

a) would reject them anyway

b) is quite secretive and closed off about his private life

c) is a free-spirit who just lives on his own terms

so, i can sense reluctance in confidently approaching him. i can also sense some people looking at him as more of a friendly guy you can have easygoing and comfortable times with, rather than a person they see themselves dating.

he isn't necessarily shy; just very independent, and clear in his boundaries.

jin is immensely protective of his autonomy, and his career. he seems quite adamant in making sure people respect which lines they can and can't cross, and firmly separates his professional and personal life.

he seems like one of the members, who appears to be less trusting when it comes to letting people from the outside enter his life. jin usually prefers keeping things professional and work-oriented, or lighthearted and superficial.

i don't see him actually letting many people in on a personal level, so that discreet energy will understandably radiate to the outside -> people won't just go up to him as easily.

❥ what kind of dates does jin enjoy the most?

so right away, i saw this image of him sitting in the mountains with his lover, or laying in the grass while gazing at the stars. he seems to go two ways:

one: he likes intimacy. jin wants to enjoy quiet alone-time with his lover, where they can just blend out the loud noise from the outside world. especially when it comes to them getting to know each other through conversations; he wants to zone in on the person he's listening to, and closely listen to what they have to say. an example would include, sitting in a cozy café without many people, just the two of you in your own bubble for a short while. that gives them the opportunity to focus on one another closely.

two: he likes to explore the world together. jin is someone who likes the thought of having fun and interesting experiences with his lover, that only the two of them can share and naturally bond over. an example would include, taking a trip to a foreign country and exploring the difference in culture, food, etc. he definitely seems like quite the open-minded and spontaneous boyfriend, who'd be up to do many different things. let's say you signed up to a, idk.. pottery class but don't want to go on your own; he'd join you. even if he usually couldn't care less about it.

taehyung

❥ what was taehyung's relationship with jennie like?

it was quick and ended fast, but very passionate. they definitely had the potential for a solid foundation and it could've developed into a more stable and lasting connection, if only they had been more patient with it. they got quite lost in the thrill and excitement of it all. especially taehyung. i did a reading on it already, you can read it here.

jimin

❥ does jimin get jealous easily?

i got the king of cups reversed, which in a traditional sense would mean “no”. however, it's also giving.. if i'm not emotionally invested: no. if i am emotionally invested: yes.

though again.. i truly don't see him letting it get to that state in the first place; just rarely. i'd be genuinely surprised to hear him having had several committed and serious relationships that involved heavy feelings.

the card is also telling me about jimin's imbalance in emotions, and how he can have issues and insecurities about leaning into that side of himself more. it's almost like, he's lying to himself and deluding himself that he doesn't get jealous. although deep down he does. it's like, his heart and emotions win over his head and logic in that moment of jealousy, which can be something he doesn't enjoy.

i don't think he likes himself in an emotionally ridden state.. at all. he almost seems scared of it, because it can get quite dark, confusing and overwhelming for him. (note: if he's a sag rising, both his venus and mars in scorpio could fall into his 12th house, which would explain a lot of this)

i'm also sensing a fear of losing control over himself here, once he gets too caught up in the intensity of his feelings. that's the side of him he's likely to prefer suppressing, keeping under tight wraps and not showcasing to many people.

jungkook

❥ bonus: would jungkook be willing to get another dog or cat if his fs wanted to?

lol cute, the king of wands flew out immediately, so; yes. he seems quite confident in his ability to raise pets, especially dogs. it seems like he truly enjoys taking care of them, and holding the responsibility over them. it's very much giving a proud kangaji appa.

jk also seems to like the thought of putting their teamwork to the test; seeing how successful they could be at sharing the workload, and compromising together. almost like a test to see how well they would cooperate together as parents.

he's very adamant on making sure his fs acknowledges the significant role they play in raising the pet though, and actively doing their part. he wouldn't just want all the work dumped onto him. (kinda cute how serious he's taking it not gonna lie, but raising a pet is def no joke and requires nerves of steel! nine year long tired dog mother talking from experience)

he also seems quite protective; like he or she better along well with my son! (not bam saying hi in the reading) he'd put importance into making sure the new doggy or kitty addition would nicely fit into his already established little family.

separate post for jjk coming soon, stay tuned 🤍 i will link it here