#and how much I wish I could that so I could die!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[rootspiral]

Agatha All Along deep dive: episode 1 part 4

(Wandavision entries: [1][2][3])

(AAA entries: ep1 [1][2][3][4])

well, well, well, if it isn't the consequences of my own actions

do you think it took Rio a long time to choose her revenge dress? did she agonize over every detail? I picture her process like, okay I need an outfit that says fuck you (threatening) but also fuck you (horny) and fuck me (very horny) and then circle all the way back to FUCK YOU THOUGH (VERY threatening)

as to why Rio goes from super soft to *that* - I see it as the equivalent of the TV trope where someone almost dies and their loved one is very concerned, but as soon as there's no danger they slap them around the head and call them a fucking idiot. this is Rio's WELCOME HOME, CHEATER moment (Agatha has been kiiiind of been cheating death, lbr)

this is the best way rio could choose to approach agatha too, and not only because it lets her express all that pent up anger. what would be the alternative? sit Agatha down and have a honest chat? Rio knows her too well, she knows it would be simply too much. Agatha *is* more comfortable with big bombastic scenes, with violence that is a lot like foreplay. Rio is looking out for her right now, she is making it as easier for Agatha as she can, while also not letting her get away with her bullshit any longer.

one little sentence, so many ways to read it

only physically. she's not letting you in. not anymore. you'll have to save her from herself kicking and screaming. dear god she's actually honestly crying. this is a WHOLE fucking deal. and it's also the first time she sees Rio while knowing WHO rio is. she's feeling all the feelings

girls. GIRLS. how am I supposed to take decent screenshots if you keep flinging each other at walls. keep STILL! (look at the furniture btw, isn't it a bit curved? I think they're still using a fisheye lens. reality is still shifting. almost as if we're in the presence of an otherworldly being)

oh the metaphor of it. sometimes you just have to reach out and connect, even if you get hurt in the process.

BECAUSE SHE'S BEEN HIDING AND SHIELDING FOR SO LONG TO HIDE FROM PAIN. OH MY GOD. did a 2000s emo kid write this

every other MCU fight wishes it were this perfect storm of hot and emotionally devastating

Rio cannot physically kill Agatha, it's not allowed, she's only the collector. So what is she trying to do, exactly? Has Agatha really been cheating death for so long that Rio has no choice but to bring her in? Or is she not here to collect at all and this is just her way to get back at her ex (and possibly win her back)? I adore both options, they're tragic in different ways.

time to bullshit! time to bolt! time to get to that escape route! this is what Agatha does best. anything but face the truth

funny how agatha usually has no problem looking undignified. it's almost like this is not the point at all. so let's review: wanda has stripped agatha of the powers that have been keeping her hidden from rio. rio comes over to confront her - and not kill her, she wouldn't be allowed anyway. she does it in a way that agatha would find less scary than having a mature convo. still, agatha has to face things she's been escaping for so long and it's simply too horrifying, too overwhelming. the fact that she's joking around so much (while her future conversations with rio will be sad, soft, dramatic) tells you just how scared and how miserable she is. She's begging rio to stop, because even fighting and flirting, which is their comfort zone, is proving too much. And what does rio do? She listens and goes away. only temporary, she won't let her off the hook now that she has found her. but she's still willing to go at Agatha's pace.

aubrey plaza I would die for your evil little face

can I just say that agatha trying to flirt right now is devastating? she is at the end of her rope. she does NOT want rio to stay, doesn't trust herself around her in so many ways. but she knows how much rio wants her and just... she tries to manipulate her with flirting. it's a desperate gamble, completely undignified, completely in character for agatha. she offers herself to rio, but only physically. when what they had was infinitely more than that, it was beautiful, it was sacred.

and rio... forgives her. she laughs another one of her little soft laughs and lowers the blade. plaza is so good here, the way she says "okay, agatha," is a perfect blend of resentment and tenderness. she knows agatha better than anyone ever had or ever will. she knows why she does everything she does. and she follows her lead. one last time.

agatha's relief. she's trembling, deflated but still on her guard. she looks completely traumatized. the masterpiece that this scene is: you feel smart when you realize that they're flirting rather than fighting. when it finally dawns on you the real weight of their encounter... it's too late.

"by the way there's a bunch of scary witches after you and I totally want them to kill you, that's why I'm telling you exactly who they are and when they're coming"

agatha tries with all her might to believe that rio is heartless. because anger is easier than sadness.

we're leaning, we're leaning, we're leaning!

rio licking agatha's wound to heal it perfectly encapsulates her feelings: anger, horniness, and infinite tenderness. what a power move. rio was the one in control this whole scene, and it wrecked agatha.

"te veo" (I'm gonna go scream in a pillow)

she's gone, honey, she's gone. breathe.

Billy walking on the two of them having sex would have been less awkward than this

she was a BIT preoccupied, kid

and episode 1 is in the bag!

next stop: IT'S LILIA TIME

[mattysprincess]

Aftercare

Mattheo Riddle was never big on Aftercare.

Partially because he never cared about any of the girls he fucked, they were relief for one night or if they were good enough two but never anything more. It’s not like most really cared either, they just wanted to get fucked by him and then go on their way… all they wanted was a taste of the dark lords son, a forbidden fruit they shouldn’t even be touching.

But then you came, you were so different, so sweet and so soft. So when you were laying on your back beside him, chest heaving and cheeks flushed so beautifully, he couldn’t help but look at you like you were the most precious thing alive.

He reached out to you hesitantly but was scared of touching you, afraid you wouldn’t want him to, afraid that you only wanted him for sex like the others before… so imagine his suprise when you turn to your side, smiling at him warmly and leaning forward and into his hand like you needed his touch. “You don’t have to be scared of touching me, I don’t bite.” You say with a tired laugh and he feels his heart stutter for a second. He moves his hand up to stroke your cheek, feeling the warmth of your skin under his fingertips, looking at your sweet smile and the flutter of your lashes when you close your eyes and give in to him completely. When he sees you melting into his touch he can’t help but wrap an arm around you and tug you close to his chest, nuzzling his face into the crook of your neck and breathing you in, feeling you, wishing this moment would never end.

As he nuzzles his face into you, your hands go up to his damp curls to scratch his scalp gently and he swears there’s not a thing in the world that could feel better than this, it’s like heaven on earth, the first time he’s felt someone care about him beyond sex and power and he melts like putty in your hands.

You whisper sweet words to him, thanking him for making you feel so good, how pretty he is and how much you love him. He lays there, listening to you and feeling his heart swell with each syllable that left your mouth, realising that someone loves him, that someone cares… that someone will stay with him.

“How can you love me so gently? While knowing who my father is.. what he’s done.”

“You’re not your father, Mattheo. You are you, you’re my Matty. His actions don’t define you… you’re everything to me and I’ll love you until the day that I die because yes, you are loveable, you deserve to be loved. You deserve the whole world.”

(Idea/request from my darling @revesephemeres <3 love you)

[wallabywhump]

“So, thinking of texting Buck, huh?”

Tommy looked at the water stain on his ceiling, and reached to pinch the bridge of his nose, before letting out a long sigh. His nose felt stuffy, and his head was aching too much for this. “This really why you’re calling Eddie?”

“Of course it’s why I’m calling, I wanted to know what kind of text you were going to send my buddy.”

Tommy was going to text Evan, ‘I’ve got your stuff if you want it,’ then he’d deleted it.

Then he’d typed, ‘coffee, same place? Saturday?’ and snorted before spending fifteen minutes sobbing in the bathroom pulling tissue after tissue off the roll.

Then he’d typed, ‘I’m so fucking sorry, I know I messed up. I heard the word marriage, I heard admire, I heard move in and it was like I was watching a car crash in front of me and I couldn’t stick around for the aftermath. I needed to run. Run before you realized that this wasn’t what you wanted. Run before you realized that I wasn’t enough. Run before we could both get hurt after two years of living together, and a mortgage, and a funny looking cat that will die six months after you break my heart. And, Evan-’

Tommy had turned his phone off after that one, gone for a run, then watched a movie while shoveling a stupidly cheap Walmart sheet cake into his mouth and sobbing when the mains admitted they loved each other and kissed in the rain.

Then, this morning, drunk off his ass on the good whiskey he usually saved for special occasions, he had typed, ‘I love you, Evan.’

This afternoon, trying his best to not vomit from the light in his bedroom, he’d finally typed, ‘Can we talk?’

Tommy had deleted them all.

“How do you even know?”

 “You were ‘bubbling’ Buck while he was at work.”

Oh.

Well, okay then.

That…implied that Evan was opening their messages…why? Was he expecting a text? Was Evan going to text Tommy? Even after that atrocious break up, and ruining the best thing that had ever happened for him? Did Evan want Tommy…to chase?

Impossible, Tommy put the thought out of his mind.

Tommy swallowed. “Next time I get the urge, I’ll open the notes app.”

Eddie groaned down the line. Tommy could hear the gestations Eddie was making, could see Eddie in his mind’s eye throwing his hand up in the air and turning around in exasperation. “Man, what were you going to say to him?”  

“Does it matter what I have to say?” Tommy snapped, then closed his eyes. “Why are you calling, Ed?”

Eddie was quiet for a moment, long enough that Tommy almost worried he’d been hung up on, but he didn’t want to open his eyes to check.

“I wanted to check on you. I want to check that you’re both going to come out the other side of this. I want to check that you’re not going to cause more hurt.”

Tommy scoffed. “This isn’t my first break up, Eddie, I’ll be fine. And hurting Ev-Buck isn’t on my to-do list.”

“Buck isn’t the only one who can get hurt here.”

Tommy was quiet this time, he could hear the emotion in Eddie’s voice, deep and worried, almost pleading him. With a sigh, Tommy pushed himself to sit up on the bed, ignoring the way it made his head spin.

“I’ll be fine,” Tommy replied, firmly.  

Eddie scoffed, and Tommy could hear him lick his lips, as if ready to start laying it on thicker. Tommy cut it off.

“I will be fine.” I always am, Tommy thought. “So, just, I’ll open my notes app and I’ll stop typing my feelings into iMessage, okay?”

“I…yes.” Eddie sighed. “Fine, you’re fine, we’re fine. Just, don’t text him, okay?”

“I already-.”

“Notes app, I got it, Mr. Fine. I meant, if you’re going to talk to him, know that you’re opening a door there, and sure it’s your job here to fix…whatever happened.” Eddie’s voice was stern, like he was talking to a petulant child that had come out with every excuse in the book. “I’m saying, don’t text him, call him. And don’t leave it too late, Chimney’s trying to encourage pond diving.”

Eddie hung up with that, no good bye, no well wishes. Succinct and gone.

Tommy ran his tongue over his teeth, and stared down at his dark phone screen. Then, to resist temptation, he went to Evan’s contact. He hovered his name over the block button, imagined how much easier it would be if he couldn’t even send the messages he wanted to. Then, he imagined a scenario in the future where Evan needed him and called and Tommy had him blocked and panic surged in his chest, tightening, his eyes watering.

No, he couldn’t.

Instead, Tommy changed the name.

DO NOT USE.

His phone started buzzing with his alarm, telling him to ‘get up for work.’ Tommy threw his phone onto the bed and put it out of his mind.

[sun-kissy]

memory | j.p.

tw: mentions of sex, cancer (apologies for any misrepresentation), main character death

james potter x reader

You were laying down with your head at the foot of your bed, staring up at the ceiling and tracing the cracks in the corners with your gaze. It was something you seemed to be doing a lot lately. There’s nothing on your mind, it seems you have no energy to even think these days.

Your husband doesn’t knock before he enters, he never does. You don’t mind. His voice is soft as he coaxes you out from where you’ve taken sanctuary in a softly lit corner of your brain. He calls your name a few times, rubs his fingers lightly on your wrist. You come to.

“Hi.” You sound hoarse.

James smiles gently, sliding his fingers down to your hand to give it a squeeze. “Hey. Lost you for a second.”

“I’ve been lost for hours, I think,” you murmur, voice straining as you push the heels of your palms into the mattress and sit up. James opens his mouth to ask if you want to talk about it, but then thinks better of it. He doesn’t want to tire you out when you’re like this.

Droopy eyes, sunken eyelids. Your lips are chapped and teeth yellow. You tell him that you’re fighting, you’re really trying – but he knows better. You’ve already given up.

You use your hands to feel for something on the bed around you, frowning when you come up with nothing.

“What do you need?”

“A hairband. But hold on, I can get it –”

He shushes you, gently grabbing your shoulders and turning you so your back is facing him. It scares him to feel your shoulder bones peeking out from underneath your thin T-shirt, rough edges to your soft soul. He knows it’s not your fault, but can’t help but feel angry anyway. The medicines and treatments were supposed to help you, not wear you down until you were nothing but a walking skeleton. Not even your soul was intact; cancer had stolen your will to live too.

The silence is deafening as he wraps the hairband around what little is left of your hair, the strands few and far between. He even takes care to brush the hair on your sideburns back.

You think about striking up a conversation but decide against it. The moment was soft, so you would let it stay that way. Who knew how many more days you had, to feel the gentleness of his touch on the nape of your neck?

The shriek of a baby drags through the air, and James drops his hands while letting out a sigh. Harry was crying again. Sometimes you wondered if your baby could feel all of it, the tension and fear and sadness which permeated your home. Maybe that’s why he cried so much. God knows you’d be crying all day if you had the energy to.

“I’ll be back after I check on him,” he whispers, brushing his fingers across your shoulders before standing up and making his way out the room.

You lay back down, turning away from the door. You can hear James cooing, coaxing your son back to silence and sleep. He was always made to be a father, you’d told him that umpteen times before. You just wished he would have chosen someone else to have children with. You had little time left to live, even lesser to be a mother.

As promised, he comes back. You feel the bed dip as he lays behind you, arms coming to wrap around your waist and pull you back until you’re fit snug against his chest.

His breath is warm on the shell of your ear, loud. You let your eyes flutter shut as you listen to it, feel the calluses of his palm flat against your stomach. You can’t help but think this must be a nice way to die, in the arms of life.

“Are we going to be alright?”

The question slips out before you can stop it. It hangs in the air like a burden, like the weight of it was somehow holding it up.

The hot air next to your ear goes cold for a moment. “I don’t know,” James replies quietly. It’s an honest answer, but it’s not what you wanted.

What did you want? For him to lose hope, to admit defeat like you have? You could see the strength it was taking for him to hold on, to not slip into the depths of despair and hopelessness as you have. It was admirable, sometimes even enviable. But how thin was the line between hope and delusion? How long could he pretend that this wasn’t a losing battle, that you couldn’t drop dead any second?

But you wouldn’t berate a lover for hoping. So you turn towards James, his name slipping easily from your mouth as your lips meet. Soft kisses turn into rough touches, clothes abandoned and hands all over each other; bodies and souls entangled in messy desperation. It was an escape, a way to shut out the thoughts neither of you would admit to having. Maybe this was the last time you would ever have sex. So you made the best of what little strength you had, till the silk sheets were covered in white and James was covered in your love. You were covered in sadness, as you always were. And cancer. The cancer never stopped clinging to you.

That was one day your memory hung on to, maybe because of the sheer catharsis you experienced.

You wish you could’ve said the day of your death was another unforgettable one, but it really wasn’t. You had breakfast in bed, ran your fingers through James’ curls. You even had the willpower to spend some time with your son. Not enough for him to get attached, like you were so afraid of, but enough for him to know he had a mother once. The rest of the day was spent in bed, drifting between the lines of wakefulness and temporary unconsciousness. At one point, temporary became permanent.

James knew you were sorry for not being able to stay; you wished he knew how sorry you were about not wanting to. As the sky welcomed you with open arms, you could only hope that memories would be enough to immortalise you.

[enigma-the-mysterious]

AITA for trying to accomplish my father's dreams and hurting my best friend in the process?

Alright, here we go. So, I (30M) have been working on a pretty intense task for the last few years. I made a promise to someone very dear to me—my father, to be exact—that I would do whatever it takes to accomplish it. To do this, I had to take some drastic steps. We’re talking undercover stuff, working within a system that’s more rotten than an overripe jackfruit, all to get closer to taking down the enemy from the inside.

To accomplish this mission, I needed a special promotion. I have been putting myself through hell and back, but those racist assholes at higher up kept passing over me to promote Mediocre White Dude #57. Then a few months ago, I finally, FINALLY made some solid progress when my boss's wife guaranteed me the promotion if I could track down and arrest some anonymous dude who was proving to be a security issue for my boss. Pretty straightforward, right?

Now here’s the issue. At about the same time a few months ago, I met this guy; let’s call him A (26M) for now. My work-life balance had honestly been, well, shitty to say the least, thanks to my father's mission, and I barely had the time to socialize and make any meaningful connections in the city I moved in. Meeting with A had been a chance encounter too. Long story short, we clicked instantly and became fast friends. He is a great guy all around— smart, funny, passionate, good natured, kind, helpful— just about everything you can possibly wish for in a friend (although he could be a little naive sometimes).

But here’s the kicker: a few days earlier, I found out that A has been lying to me about... basically EVERYTHING! ALL this time. He is not from the city; the people he claimed to be his family are not even related to him. Even his name isn't A, it's B! But what's worse is that he is exactly the guy I was supposed to arrest. And he was on a mission too. Except his mission was not targeting my boss, it was to rescue someone— his sister M (9F) to be exact— my boss and his wife had kidnapped and enslaved (long story). Yup, that’s right, we were on opposite sides without even realizing it.

Things escalated quickly. I... well… I had to make a choice. I chose to betray him to keep up my own cover and stick with my father's mission. And yeah, it was brutal— there was a literal fight to the death involved. I tried to convince him at first to surrender without fighting, but of course B didn't listen and refused to back down. I can’t even begin to explain how much it hurt to turn on someone I came to respect, even love…. uhh…. like a brother, of course.

And then, to rub salt to the wound, once I arrested him, my boss (FUCK HIM FUCK HIM FUCK HIM FUCK DIE BITCH) ordered me to flog B publicly till he fell to his knees and begged for mercy. Yeah, those were his exact words, that bastard! I felt like I had no choice, so I did what I was told. And it was one of the worst days of my life. I kept asking B to kneel so I could end the torture, but he is one stubborn and tough motherfucker and decided he would rather suffer through a public torture session than kneel. My dickface boss and his bitch wife weren't satisfied with how little blood I was drawing out of B, so they kept escalating the torture until B couldn't take it anymore and fell unconscious.

I ended up hurting him so badly, both physically and emotionally. It is fucking me up, honestly. I can't eat, I can't sleep, I can't even get out of my bed right now. I honestly feel like dying.

So, AITA for betraying and hurting my best friend to accomplish my father's mission? I did what I thought was necessary to save countless lives, but I can’t shake the feeling that maybe I went too far.

Edit: No, B did not know that I worked for the people who kidnapped his sister. He did not befriend me to take advantage of my position, as some of you have been implying. He did not, I repeat, he did NOT betray me. If anyone has betrayed and wronged him, it's me!

Edit 2: No, I didn't tell B my real intentions and my father's mission. Didn't you read the post? I am working UNDERCOVER!

[yanderes-galore]

50.) "If it means both of us must perish, so be it!" With a yandere Kaido who threatens his forced wife reader , that if his time has come he’s dragging her along with him , please if this request makes you uncomfortable you can delete this no worries;)

Sure! I'm sorry if this is short or not entirely accurate... I haven't actually seen his arc yet but I really like his character!

Yandere! Kaido Prompt 50

"If it means both of us must perish, so be it!"

Pairing: Romantic

Possible Trigger Warnings: Female Darling, Obsession, Possessive behavior, Suicidal behavior (Kaido), Murder, Blood, Kidnapping, You want him dead, Heavy drinking, Forced marriage/relationship.

In the time you've known Kaido... you've learned his nature well. You know him and his title... a force to be reckoned with. He's the world's strongest creature, and Emperor of The Sea...

He's a powerful being driven by war... it defines him... the power is like a drug to him...

Yet such a beast feels oddly... leashed to you, a mere human.

You knew Kaido as your captor. To you, that's all he ever was. No matter how many times Kaido would call himself your husband... He was really just your captor.

You were forced to play his wife, living in Onigashima in Wano Country. You don't typically be affectionate to the beast who calls himself your husband. Yet you also know not to fight him when he requests attention from his wife.

You learned of his habits through watching him. It's the only thing that you felt you could bring yourself to do other than seeing Kaido slaughter those around him. You didn't like to think about that.

Kaido adores war and fights, he often spoke about honor on the battlefield to you. As his wife, you quietly listened as he rambled, no doubt drunk on some alcoholic substance. You knew he loved his alcohol just as much as he adored fighting... and you, apparently.

Another thing you noted was Kaido's... wish for death. That was another thing he rambled about endlessly to you. He spoke fondly of war, violence, and the glory that comes from dying in battle.

These conversations were normal between you and Kaido. He's a warmongering emperor who does anything for battle. Him talking about dying was... oddly common and normal when it came to him specifically.

As his wife you also knew of Kaido's attempts on his own life. Due to being a nearly indestructible beast, said attempts never succeed. However, part of you always seems to hope they will.

Mostly so you can be let out of this hell.

Kaido's obsession with death never really concerned you at this point. He's been like this since your capture years ago. You used to be part of a crew...

Now you're meant to be a beast's plaything, it seems.

You've grown used to your prayers not being answered when Kaido comes back to you. Sometimes you just wish someone strong enough will do the deed already. That way you both get what you want...

Kaido gets his glory and you get your freedom.

Until then, you're forced to sit on him while he drowns himself in his alcohol. You can only listen to his talks about idolizing death and dream of it. Not for you...

Just him.

Although, as time went on, his ramblings changed... and it scared you.

Kaido starts rambling about you. At first it's all strange compliments and pet names. He calls you his pretty little wife... his little mouse and toy. He talks about loving and keeping you forever, laughing as he holds you while you stay silent.

Then he brings up dying again... This time together.

He fantasizes about it despite your sudden tense expression. He gleefully rambles about glory, but this time with you by his side. He tells you that you're his, that he can't leave you all alone...

He tells you that if... when you two die together...

It will complete you both.

You were used to him keeping his death fantasy to himself. But now he seemed too... connected with you to let you go. He tells you that you two will only ever truly be perfect when you die together.

He brings it up more and more and it only makes you more concerned. After all... this is a sudden switch. You really don't have an escape now... do you?

You often think of Kaido's words now... His dark fantasies and delusional ramblings...

You only ever seem to think of them more often once he calls war on those Straw Hat pirates.

"It will be a glorious fight!" Kaido calls to you in your home, an excited grin on his face. You've rarely seen him grin.

"I haven't had a strong opponent in a long time, my love..." Kaido growls, eyes staring down at your smaller form. "I want you there for it."

You freeze when Kaido picks you up like a doll, his grin haunting.

"I want you to witness our greatness! I want you to be there encouraging me! You are my wife, mine forever... You will witness glory, my dearest..."

You then feel Kaido squeeze you a bit, making you feel nauseous as you realize what all of this means...

"I plan to experience glory, my love... I need to feel complete with you." Kaido admits, a large finger running down your back.

There's a momentary silence as Kaido stares down at you, seemingly contemplating something. You can't seem to find the air to breathe when he looks down at you. This is it... isn't it?

"If it means both of us must perish, so be it!" Kaido suddenly roars in laughter, holding you against his chest as he begins to leave your home.

You're shaking but Kaido only seems to find it amusing. He keeps you close, making his way to his newest battlefield. This felt like your Judgement Day...

Today, you die.

"Do not be so fearful..." Kaido suddenly scoffs, eyes looking down at you.

"You should be looking forward to this, wife... Today, we experience greatness! We experience glory and completion..."

Kaido then pulls you up to his face, a sinister grin on his face.

"I want you by my side when I die..." Kaido tightens his grip, glaring as he notices your nervous behavior. "You won't run, you will obey your husband. Today... You and I will be complete..."

You then feel him apply pressure to your midsection, a warning and order that forces you into desperate compliance.

Kaido makes one more roaring laughter as he continues to carry you...

"Today... We die together... Now and forever, you are mine and mine alone."

[sky-scribbles]

Okay, I'm a couple of hours into Veilguard, so I thought I'd share all the things I've really loved so far:

The combat is so much more dynamic and fluid! There were things I liked about the previous games' combat, but I do remember Inquisition often feeling like 'select enemy, then mash buttons until they die.' I love that I can duck and weave around monsters! I love being encouraged to swap between weapons (however much I have to suspend my disbelief about Rook putting away two swords and grabbing a bow in a single second)! It's just really fun!

Maybe I'm imagining it, but I feel like the camera is a bit closer to Rook, and it makes so much difference. Sometimes in Inquisition, and often in Andromeda, I felt really far away from my character, and it creates this sense of distance. It's a tiny thing, but I do genuinely think being that bit closer has made my experience a load better.

I cannot describe how affirming it feels to have an NPC point to my character and casually say 'they.'

Holy shit I love the gang's casual looks. Harding's embroidered florals and Neve's colour scheme?? Also, both of them changing their hairstyles in the field? God I wish I could show this to my 16-year-old self as they stewed in frustration over the women in Mass Effect having to go into battle with their long hair down.

The aesthetics of Arlathan! I made such a delighted noise when I realised they ancient elves had power crystals and magitech-looking devices; sci-fi like elements being introduced into fantasy is my jam, and it works so well to make clear how advanced Elvhenan really was. It reminds me of how cool it was in Critical Role when the characters went to the ruins of Aeor and found a bunch of advanced magitech: that same feeling of 'holy shit, this world we've spent so much time in and treated like a normal fantasy world is post-apocalyptic.'

Being able to give my Rook so many freckles.

[archiveikemen]

"Dark If" Story Event: Bitter END

Ellis Twilight

This is a fan-made translation solely for entertainment purposes with no guaranteed perfection; expect mistakes, grammatical errors, and some creative liberties. All original content and media used belongs to Cybird. Please support the game by buying their stories and playing their games. Reblogs appreciated.

Read this before interacting

At Ellis’ prompting, I left the old castle and headed to the royal castle I was born and raised in.

I went straight to the back garden, to the briar I considered a friend.

Kate: Here it is… the briar.

The briar growing there looked the same as I remembered.

(I remember giving it a name and treating it like a friend…)

(... In the end, I never recalled what its name was.)

I felt a little frustrated that I couldn't remember, but I had more important matters at hand.

(If I burn this briar, I’ll be freed from this illness… there’s no time to waste.)

(... Once everything’s settled, I’ll tell Ellis how I feel about him.)

I didn't know what Ellis’ answer to that would be.

But I wanted to at least convey to him how happy our time together made me feel.

(The Sleeping Beauty won’t fall asleep, and the briar will be burnt. But…)

(... A happy ending awaits.) 

I lit a match and, without hesitation, brought the flame to the briar. 

The fire spread, a flaming red colour, reducing the briar to ashes. 

Every last root of the briar that grew in the back garden burned away. 

(Yeah… the briar that was once here is now gone, the back garden does feel somewhat more pleasant.)

After all, the briar was meant to be removed back when I was a child. 

Surely no one would have complaints about it being burned away.

(Alright… now I’ll head back to the old castle and have Jude check if my illness has disappeared.)

(After that, I’ll go meet with Ellis!) 

Feeling much brighter than ever before, I set off for the old castle where Jude and Ellis lived. 

…

Jude: Ellis, where’s the princess?

Ellis: Kate’s at the royal castle right now. She went to burn the briar.

Jude: Ha? Burn the briar…?

Ellis: Kate said she doesn’t want to die.

Ellis: If that’s her wish… then the only way to fulfil it is for me to disappear along with the illness.

Ellis: Ah… looks like it’s about time.

Just then, right before Jude’s eyes, Ellis’ body suddenly ignited out of nowhere.

Although there was no source of fire, Ellis’ body was immediately engulfed in flames.

Jude: …!

Jude tried every method he could possibly think of to put out the fire, but the flames couldn’t be extinguished.

Ellis: Hey, Jude. This isn’t a promise, but a request.

Ellis: Make Kate happy. 

— And so, the fairy was cursed and the briar burned to death. 

…

After returning to the old castle, I asked Jude to examine me.

Kate: So… how’s my illness?

Jude: It’s completely gone. You’re free now, you won’t die or fall into deep sleep.

Jude: But are ya sure you’re fine with what ya just did? Burning that…

Kate: ? Of course I am! My illness is fully cured now! 

Kate: That aside, where’s Ellis? I have something I want to tell him! 

Jude: Don’t tell me… ya went ahead and burnt that thing without tellin’ Ellis anythin’...?

Kate: … What do you mean?

I noticed Jude wore an unusually pained expression.

But it was fleeting, so I quickly turned my focus back to finding Ellis.

Kate: … Ah, don’t tell me you’re overworking Ellis again? 

Jude: …

Jude: Of course. I sent him off on a long errand. It’ll be a while before he gets back. 

Jude: Why don’t ya take a nap till then, princess? For ‘bout 100 years. 

Kate: Wha…

I felt a sharp pricking sensation in my fingertip— and my consciousness faded away. 

…

Kate: Nn… 

Ellis?: Ah… you’re awake. Wow, it’s been exactly 100 years.

Ellis?: Good morning, Kate. 

I opened my eyes to see Ellis leaning over, peering into my face.

Kate: Good morning, Ellis…!

Kate: You’re back from Jude’s errand! 

Kate: Now that I think of it, I feel like Jude made me fall asleep… 

Ellis?: 100 years have passed since then, Kate.

Kate: 100 YEARS!? But… the two of you don’t look any different.

Jude: For that 100 years, I used my magic to freeze our bodies in time.

Kate: I see… magic really is amazing.

Kate: Oh…! Since I’ve been sleeping for 100 years, can I borrow your bath…? 

I didn't want to look like a mess in front of Ellis.

Jude: Suit yerself. The bath’s still in the same place it was 100 years ago. 

Kate: Thank you so much!

(Is it just me, or does Jude seem kinder than usual? … Maybe he softened up in the past 100 years.)

Ellis?: I’ll be waiting for you, Kate.

Kate: Alright… oh, um… I dreamed of you a lot in that 100 years of being asleep.

Kate: But… now that I’m awake, I’m so happy to see the real you! 

After Kate left the room, the young man resembling Ellis titled his head, puzzled. 

Ellis?: … Did I do it right, master? 

Jude: Yeah… you were exactly like that guy. Keep it up.

Jude: But don't ya call me “master”. 

Jude: I may have made ya, but hearing it coming from that face of yers gives me the creeps. Just call me Jude.

Ellis?: Okay, got it.

The day the briar was burned, Ellis died by Kate’s own hand. 

Jude could imagine how heartbroken she would be if she ever found out… just the thought itself made him feel sick. 

Therefore, while Kate slept for 100 years…

Jude painstakingly gathered the ashes of the burnt briar and used his magic to create a human form for it.

He was able to recreate Ellis’ appearance entirely, but perhaps due to having been burnt away into nothingness, the new Ellis had no memories of the past.

[ Jude’s POV ]

(... In the first place, it's questionable if he’s even the same person as the old Ellis.) 

= Flashback Start =

Ellis: Make Kate happy.

= Flashback End =

Back then, the briar’s curse didn't disappear. Instead, it continued gnawing away at the fairy.

(... Damn you, Ellis.)

(She’ll never be happy with anyone but you.)

With the good 13th fairy, an imitation briar, and a princess blindly in love— 

The distorted fairytale world would continue, growing more twisted than ever before. 

However…

Ellis?: …

Jude: Ellis?

The reborn briar stood silently, staring at the door Kate had exited through.

Ellis?: Ah… sorry, Jude. 

Ellis?: I’ve been watching her the whole time while she slept, but… the princess is so lovely now that she’s awake. 

Ellis?: … And she feels somewhat familiar. 

His facial expression as he muttered those words bore an uncanny resemblance to the Ellis who burnt to his death 100 years ago. 

(... Maybe it’s still too early to give up hope.)

Picturing a day when the once-dead briar might fully come back to life, and the princess could finally reach a happy ending with her briar—

The fairy gave a faint smile that no one saw. 

[fangsandfeels]

Bioware had continuity issues before...

...but with Veiguard, I feel like this time it just didn't care and was in a hurry to bury the DA world as fast as possible, so it could proceed to finishing Mass Effect off the same way.

Spoiler-y nitpicks and thoughts below

Once again, I'm all for the premise of almost none of the higher beings and deities of Thedas being kind or benevolent - and all of them turning out to be not what they seemed or were promised to be.

It fits the undergoing theme of every group in Thedas subtly believing that their true gods will come and fix everything, and every atrocity, every bloodbath, every sacrifice will be worth it. For the plot to take away that hope and expose how deep the wounds go, how absolutely wrecked this world is (and you can never un-wreck it , would have been absolutely logical and very in tune with the general tone of the series.

The Old Gods

If Archdemons contain not the souls of the Old Gods, but the key to the Evanuris mortality, why was Solas mad at the Grey Wardens for killing them? Why did Mythal/Flemeth needed to preserve the soul of an Old God? Wouldn't she, a betrayed and angry goddess, want to sever her traitors' connection to immortality? Instead, she wanted it "a piece of what once was, snatched from the jaws of darkness". Something, that meant to be saved from corruption and destruction. But now Solas dismisses it by saying that Old Gods were never a thing, it has always been the Evanuris using dragons as their conduits and immortality placeholders?

Then why did you give Grey Wardens so much crap for killing these dragons, Solas?!

Yeah, we can argue that Solas was worrying about the Evanuris not being able to sustain the Veil due to losing their immortality, but he was going to bring it down anyways? So what difference would it have made anyways?

Something doesn't add up.

I think, the most logical thing would have been to leave the Old Gods as the raw magic incarnate - truly a relict from the world back when magic was everywhere. So, it would have make sense for Flemeth, Morrigan and Solas want to preserve it - despite all the destructive potential, it has always belonged to this world. It would have also explained why darkspawn need to infect the slumbering Old Gods - as ancient magical beings, they are attuned to the world, and the taint means to exploit that connection.

2. The taint and the Blight

If the taint is the product of the Titan's anger and desire for vengeance...why can Ghila'nain use it like her own personal Play-Doh? I'd imagine, the pure concentration of wrath and anger should be particularly deadly for the Evanuris - because it's directed against them, first and foremost. I don't mind the Titans being as the general source of the plague - it would explain the Deep Roads and darkspawn behavior. A twisted wish to be whole again, an unfulfilled desire to keep fighting - a constant, never-ending call to arms. It also would have been a nice callback to the state of the Mother from Awakening: she woke up only to realize and remember what has been done to her, which broke her mind and made her desperate to either die or return to that mindless state of rage and destruction. So do the Titans feel, knowing they were mutilated and plundered, broken apart, and are in too much pain to ever forgive or know peace.

If Titans were so connected to the physical world, the taint changing everything it touches would have made sense: life itself twisting and contorting into a weapon, against an attacker it can't see or find. This is truly tragic, horrifying and realistic - taint as a wound that cannot heal, that festers, and rots but never closes. It's a very accurate depiction of trauma caused by a genocidal war.

Therefore, it would have made more sense if the Evanuris were fucking terrified of the taint and the darkspawn because of how devastating it was to them and because they had no clue how to destroy it - they could only contain it and hope it works.

Maybe Ghila'nain tried to master it but barely survived and went mad, modifying her body and "perfecting" herself as a result. It would still have been possible to keep her obsessed with taint - mostly out of pure denial that something can be beyond her control as she believes herself to be the Goddess of Creation.

Also, you can still have your scarier version of more active and virulent taint - just make it change in response to the gods appearing in the physical world. Make it spread more actively, make the darkspawn go into frenzy, make it look like the new Blight is starting - but now it's as if blindly searching for something or someone. Wouldn't that be fucking creepy?

Maybe, for the first time in a long while, the South of Thedas isn't the one to take a hit - instead, the darkspawn are flocking to where the gods are.

(Of course, the question is, why the taint doesn't target the elves specifically? Because of them losing their immortality - the taint isn't exactly sentient, so it perceives them as part of physical world)

It would have posed such an interesting and controversial option for the player: to weaponize the Blight to end the gods.

3. Maker

I remember that the developers mentioned that the Maker never meant to be real. It was meant to represent the humanity's ability to believe in a symbol. But the Veilguard's "the legend about the Maker was actually about magister's breaking into the prison made by Solas and accidentally blighting all around the place" is such an underwhelming conclusion. After all, the Ashes of Andraste meant to imply that there is something. That it's not just a collective gaslighting - but something else.

I feel like they could have made so much with it:

In the context of the taint's connection to the Titans, what if Maker has always been somewhat of an emissary of the taint? It was cut off from the dwarves and locked away - but it needed a way out, right? Even subconsciously, it knew that it has to get out. It was the music that kept playing, the song that called. So, it reached out to other beings of the physical world, whispering to them and beckoning them. Andraste, due to probably being a Dream Walker or extremely sensitive to the Fade, caught a glimpse of that events, but was never able to make sense of it, which led her to fill in the gaps, which led to the creation of andrastianism. Therefore, Maker didn't leave the Golden City - once the taint was released, it fulfilled its purpose.

What if Andraste willed the Maker into existence? Since Fade is attuned to people's dreams, thoughts, and inner worlds, maybe Andraste's connection to it was so strong, it channeled her pain, her wish for justice and salvation into a figure that she believed to be the Maker? What if she was even able to perform miracles with the Maker as her avatar, turning people into believers? So, logically, when she died, the Maker stopped responding: she was no longer there to sustain him. No amount of prayers and sermons, of repressions and murders, of crusades and chats would have made the Maker return - because the only person actually capable of that was burned and killed long ago. This would have also explained why some spirits believe in Maker because they saw him in people's dreams - the Maker never existed in any other shape and it couldn't manifest completely because his image differed based on individual person's imagination and convictions.

After all, the true horror of living is realizing that nobody is control. Nobody is coming to fix things for you. There is no hope - only the consequences you are forced to live in.

[vigilskeep]

you've talked a bit about sol's relationship with lucanis, bellara, and davrin, but what are sol's thoughts on the other companions?

neve looked at sol and saw a cute slightly over-energetic puppy that somebody else owns and that it’s always fun to hang out with and make run after sticks. briefly, mind you, before going home and leaving it someone else’s problem. whereas sol was eager to melt neve’s ice walls and win her approval with sheer persistence. all of that went away for a while when sol chose treviso. it was hard to recover from that because sol had no regret for their choice, nor did they believe neve would have any regrets if she had been in the position to choose minrathous, and that was a wedge of silence between them. both aware, both not cruel enough to say everything out loud. it took a while to defrost, with bellara anxiously hovering inbetween them. ultimately they have a strong bond and sol probably respects neve more than anybody else on the team, but as friends, neve is more lucanis and bellara’s than she is sol’s, if that makes sense? sol finally showing up for minrathous and them fighting for it side by side in the end was everything to me

i was never quite sure where they stood with harding until the end, i think it requires further thought. sol wasn’t all that close with harding before the game, when they had varric inbetween. mostly they thought it was funny to play up the antivan crow and scandalise the comparatively more normal straight-laced member of the party. they have a lot of respect for her skillset because they’re accustomed to working with rogues, whereas interpersonally they didn’t know how much they relied on and valued her warmth and stabilising influence until they lost it. they didn’t really understand her all that much, i don’t think? which is funny when lucanis is over here like immediately clocking exactly what childhood trauma led to all her behaviours, but then lucanis is so much more empathetic than sol is

taash is kind of the little sibling sol never had. sol, stretching their arm all the way up to put it around taash’s shoulders: “ah yes, my honorary crow young padawan in the ways of being non-binary and setting things on fire”. sol is a mostly harmlessly terrible influence on them, always telling them to be more rebellious and to feel things fully. taash probably got the worst of the ending, and sol won’t forgive themself for that

emmrich is an endlessly entertaining curiosity who comes from an entirely different world to sol. they’re not that close, but they fascinate each other and always want to hear each other’s stories. something about the work of the necropolis emotionally touches sol—who always expected to die young, unnaturally, and unremembered, and whose profession is giving that same fate to others—in a way little else does. (even if they find the necropolis itself slightly infuriating to do quests in. professor, you’re just too nice to these spirits and it gives them far too much nerve.) i imagine emmrich saying they could be interred in the necropolis if they wished and sol definitely not crying, there’s just something in their eye, they have to go

[rootspiral]

Agatha all along deep dive: episode 1 part 2

(Wandavision entries: [1][2][3])

(AAA entries: ep1 [1][2][3][4])

Okay, let's keep going through Agatha All Along epsode 1, in which detective Agnes sees Nicky's lock of hair inside her brooch and is stunned into silence for a long ten seconds

she's feeling agonizing heartbreak and cannot even tell why

you know what, she technically is home. she's in her living room as we speak. but every line has multiple readings, so go home... where? to her old self? to her witchy roots? to her coven? to Rio? to Nicky, in the afterlife?

I wonder if all the water puddles are deliberate. do they symbolize mirrors, is she gone through the looking glass? or is water = rio?

the way she has to steel herself before getting into Nicky's room

THE MOON PHASES OVER THE BED. as if she wishes there was a coven looking over him, protecting him

I saw some reactors laughing their asses off at this scene, still hung up on the parody of it all, going "did they make the rabbit into a dead kid backstory? that's HILARIOUS." Sure. So funny.

(they keep associating Nicky with rabbits tho, in the previous scene with Rio there's a blink-and-you-miss-it moment when a plant in the background suddenly turns into Nicky's picture. was señor scratchy named after him?)

why can't they properly light their scenes goddamnit I shouldn't have to use 6 layers to see her face

oh look it's Aubrey Plaza and pizza, two of the sexiest concepts humanity has ever come up with

first of all: open vest and white shirt? that's hot. second of all, the way she's sitting so confidently with her whole chest out, so open, taking deep breaths. she just wants to drink her all up, all of her, her beauty, her sorrow, her goofiness. she's SO damn in love.

what a goober. what a delight. plaid shirt and no makeup, drinking beer and snorting when she laughs, a bit awkward and bashful. what a stud. I would die for her. I would wife her so quickly. I'm gonna say this whit my whole chest, the more femme presenting Agatha is, the more she's wearing a shield and playing a part. this is Agatha raw and defenseless and true, and I want to protect her like she's a precious kitten. (me and Rio both, tbh)

case in point: Agatha is manspreading like some idiot lumberjack, and Rio looks like she has never seen anyone hotter

Agatha: "I have a lead in the case". Rio, with goddamn bedroom eyes: "that's not why I came over."

But then when Agatha looks overwhelmed she immediately course-corrects and encourages her to talk about the case. Love me a boundary-respecting king. Real talk, she's been respecting those boundaries for a long time. And even if she's quite angry at Agatha, she won't unleash all that on her when she's so defenseless.

She pushes a little, and the moment it's too much for Agatha she steps back and regroups. She's being SO gentle.

That's fascinating that her subconscious knows what happened to Billy. Exactly how connected they are?

Whoops, we're leaning in again.

She says yes so openly. When the real Agatha has been running away from Rio and this confrontation for centuries! The real Agatha is SCREAMING in terror, but he body won't listen because it's fallen back into that feeling of domesticity and trust. This is the same body that will always yearn to kiss Rio. The mind that categorically forbids it is shut away for the time being.

Why is Rio trying to wake Agatha up? She could let her stay like this. She could easily make Agnes O'Connor fall in love. The two main reasons why she doesn't are: because she's so fucking angry with her, and she wants them to finally have a mature conversation about Nicky and she needs Agatha to understand that she's hurting too. The second reason is - because she loves her too much. It's honestly just that. She cannot let Agatha live like this, tortured, imprisoned, without agency. She want to have a mature conversation with the real Agatha, she wants to get angry with the real Agatha, most of all she wants Agatha to be okay. Do you see the difference? She's not just in love with her, because being in love is a selfish act, but to love someone is fundamentally selfless. And she will keep loving Agatha no matter if they are together or not. She loves her enough to bend the rules of the universe for her. She just... she loves her.

and this, letting Agatha exist in this form, is a punishment too cruel for Rio to allow

The half smile, the bitterness behind it. An Agatha who doesn't hate her is just a beautiful fantasy, but Rio knows better.

it's Billy! and another mirror! yep, that's a theme.

Ha, the real Sharon was calling him a hooligan. RIP sharon, gone too soon

so intense!!?! even when she's not doing it on purpose, her characters are cheesy and cliched. and it takes a lot of talent to write a bad show too, so kudos to jac schaeffer & co

go to part 3

[tethrras]

show me where my armor ends, show me where my skin begins

vittoria de riva x lucanis dellamorte. smut/porn with plot. click here to read on ao3.

-

Vittoria de Riva is going to die tomorrow.

She is tired of deluding herself. Tired of pretending that she’s going to survive this. She will tell the others that this is not the end, of course, insist that there is still so much more left in the fight, but Harding and Neve are dead, their allies are tired, and Vittoria herself feels like a dead woman walking. She’s going to die tomorrow. One moment - a lapse in focus, a mistimed assault - is all it will take. 

But for now, all she needs to think about - all she deserves to think about - is Lucanis.

Spite’s wings come to settle on either side of them. Lucanis kisses her. Like all his other skills, his kissing is well-honed and precise, and for a moment, she’s left struggling to find an even footing. She hasn’t done this in a long time, after all, doesn’t know where to put her hands or how to move her legs, but in a few seconds, and after enough distraction, all those unwelcome thoughts and worries leave her head. In their place is a list of sensations: the scrape of his beard on her chin, the gentle intrusion of his tongue in her mouth, the feather-light sensation of his hair falling against her cheek. One of his hands comes to rest at the base of her neck, the other fisting the fabric at the curve of her waist, and Vittoria arches her back on an instinct she didn’t know she had. She feels sensitive, vulnerable, like a burn with no scab.

“Lucanis.” 

“Vittoria.” Even the sound of her own name makes her shiver when it comes from him, and she’s so distracted that she almost doesn’t notice him pulling the tie from her hair and letting it fall across the cushions. “What do you wish of me?” he asks, running a hand through the tangles above her head. “Tell me and I will do it.”

What does she wish of him? She wishes he could bundle her up in his arms and take her far from here. She wishes he could go back in time and take notice of her sooner - train with her, stroll the canals with her, invite her to coffee at Cafe Pietra in the evenings and watch the sunset over Treviso for another decade. She wishes that he would take off his pants and fuck her. “Everything,” she answers instead.

He chuckles and presses a kiss to the skin beside her mouth. “You’ll have to be more specific than that.” 

“Fuck me,” she says, then nips at the lush curve of his bottom lip. “Fuck me however you want. Make me forget.” Make me forget I’m going to die tomorrow. Make me forget that you might die first.

He takes a sharp inhale. She knows him well enough to know that he’s thinking about the next steps before he’s even started. “I can do that.”

Of course he can. He can do anything. It’s why she loves him. “Then show me.”

Lucanis sits back in her lap and reaches for the buttons of his shirt. Vittoria sits up, at first to watch and then to help, pressing kisses to each sliver of bare skin as it’s revealed, reveling in each of the sounds that he makes - the helpless sighs and strangled groans and breathless invocations of her name. She didn’t know he would be so sensitive - he, with all his confidence and experience - and like all good assassins, she takes note of it for later as he shrugs the shirt off and tosses it into an unseen corner of the room. “Your turn,” he tells her, reaching for the buttons of her shirt the same as he had with his own. But she swats his hands to the side instead.

“Let me look first.” 

Scars cover his torso, some sharp and white, others dark and deep. In another world, at another time, she would ask him where each of the scars came from and listen to the stories that lie beneath them, but she makes peace now with the knowledge that it doesn’t matter where the scars came from - all that matters is that none of the blades responsible for the scars struck true. 

Aside from the scars, decades of fighting has sculpted him into a marvel of muscle and flesh. While she can’t see his back from here, she runs her hands over the muscles there at the same time she trails kisses down the front of his chest, over those scars. How long she spent wanting this, she thinks, how long she spent watching him train, watching him walk the halls of the Diamond or the streets of Treviso, wishing that he would look at her the way he’s looking at her now; how long she spent wanting him, then wanting him to want her in return, and all it took was the elven gods returning to Thedas to get his attention. If Vittoria could find a way to tell her younger self that, she wouldn’t have believed it - which is good, because if she had, then she wouldn’t have trained as hard as she did to get where she is right now, and instead died a meaningless death all those lonely years ago.

“That’s enough touching.” He pulls at her collar, the roughest he’s ever been with her, at the same time he pushes his lips onto hers. The following command is muffled between kisses as he fists at the fabric of her shirt: “This. Off. Now.”

She pulls her hands from him and fumbles with her own buttons while Lucanis watches. His face is dark and shadowed, and she knows without question that he holds all the cards now. She can feel it - feel Spite stirring under the surface, feel that Dellamorte stubbornness rearing its handsome head. When she finishes with the last button of her shirt, he tears it from her torso and throws it onto the other side of the room. He uses that same hand to grip her shoulder and shove her down onto the cushions, not giving her a moment to catch her breath before reaching for the laces of her pants.

“It’s been… a while.” Vittoria watches as he works the piece of clothing off. She’s not sure which of them is breathing harder. “Since I did this.”

“Vittoria.” He shakes his head and, despite his fervor, a small smile appears on his lips. “Do you honestly think that matters to me?” He moves off her lap for a moment so he can pull her pants down over the swell of her muscular thighs and then stops, looking up at her from underneath his eyelashes. “Does it matter to you?”

“No.”

“Good.” He finishes with his task and then crawls on top of her to kiss her hard and flatten her underneath him. “All that matters to me is that you’re here, that you’re alive, and that I get to do this.” 

She hears the words before she feels his fingers, first one and then another, brushing through the hair between her legs, his hand moving to cover the surface of her cunt. It feels indecent to have him touch her there, to watch his brow furrow with focus, not for a kill but for delving deep inside of her, deeper than she’s ever gone herself. She’s so wet that she can hear it, and she’d be humiliated by the sound if it weren’t for how much she loves him. She loves him, she loves him, she loves him. Her hips cant upwards into the cradle of his hand, chasing the pressure, the pleasure, the relief that his fingers offer her, and when she reaches for his face, he turns his head to take her thumb into his mouth. 

To have him taking her in so many ways at once…

“Lucanis.” She has said his name so many times but knows she’s never said it like this, like she’s trying to suck the marrow from each letter. “Please, I -”

Her thumb falls from his lips and she winds her arm around his shoulders to hold him as close as possible. “I am fucking you with my fingers, Vittoria,” he states with a raised eyebrow, somehow managing to sound unimpressed even with his pupils blown black the way they are. “Is that not enough?”

“No. It’s not.”

“You want my cock, then, hmm?”

He moves his fingers fast inside of her, pulling farther out and diving further in each time, and her face flushes with a heat she's never felt before. This is the most vulnerable she’s ever been with another person, after all. As a Crow, you learn to never let your guard down - anyone can betray you, any location can leave you exposed. And right now, all of her weakest points have been exposed to him. Any assassin worth his salt could kill her in an instant without even pulling his fingers out from inside of her. But Lucanis does not want to hurt her. He crooks his fingers inside of her like he wants to anchor himself to her forever. She did not know it was possible for a man to feel that way about her, let alone this man.

“Lucanis...”

“I’ll give it to you, Vittoria, I promise.” He nuzzles his nose against her cheek. “On one condition.”

“Anything.”

His fingers slow to a crawl. She doesn’t know if it’s better or worse, but her thighs tense regardless. “Tell me that you won’t leave me again,” he says, “now or ever.”

She’s glad he didn’t ask for a promise, because she can’t give him a promise. “I won’t leave you,” she tells him anyway. It’s not a promise of her survival, but a vow that she will do whatever she can to achieve it. Because she will. Even if she has to go to the end of the world and kill a god to prove it. “I won’t leave you again. Now or ever.”

“And tell me that… that...” His mouth opens and then closes and then opens again, uncertainty creasing his features. “Tell me that I’m yours.”

“You’re mine.”

“And tell me that you’re mine.”

“I’m - I’m -” She wants to tell him what he asked of her, wants to reassure him of her feelings, but his fingers shift inside of her, and even that small movement renders her speechless. 

By now, her fingernails are cutting crescents into the meat of his neck, but if he feels the pain, he doesn’t let on. His fingers start to move again, faster and deeper and harder than before, and he clenches his jaw in concentration. “Come for me, Vittoria,” he says through gritted teeth.

The pleasure splits her open at the seams and seems to fill her with the same blinding light of a falling star. She can’t remember the last time she came like this. Perhaps she never has. Perhaps she was waiting her entire life for Lucanis, for his touch to bring this ecstasy out of her. When the wave finishes washing over her, she tries and fails to catch her breath, and when her vision clears, she notices that he’s doing nothing but watching her come back to herself with a gentle tilt of his head. She meets his gaze and gives him her best attempt at a reassuring look. He gives her a look of his own and then raises his fingers out from between her legs, lathing his tongue along them and licking them clean.

The silence hangs between them for a moment, dense as a fog. And then, as slowly as she can manage in her near-delirium, she draws his hand towards her mouth and repeats what he had done moments ago, licking the last remnants of herself from his skin. A flash of violet light flickers through his fluttering lashes, and, sensing his impatience, she pushes her hips towards him. 

“Now,” she demands, and though the word is muddied around the width of his fingers, she doesn’t want him to take himself out of her mouth. She won’t do it, either. She wants him everywhere inside of her all at once, and even when she has him, that might not be hard enough, fast enough, deep enough. Nothing with him could ever be enough. But she’s tired of waiting, and she can tell that Spite is, too. “Please, Lucanis, please.”

“Whatever you want.” He pushes his pants down his thighs with his free hand and kisses the part of her mouth where his fingers aren’t. “Anything you want.”

Lucanis makes quick work of the rest of his clothes and shifts on top of her to line himself up with her entrance. Vittoria would watch if she could look anywhere other than his face. How is she so lucky? Yes, the world is ending, and yes, she might die tomorrow, and yes, there are people out there with the power to move the moon over Thedas, but she gets to be here, with him, gets to count the moles on his forehead, gets to press her hand into the small of his back, gets to feel the burn as he stretches her out around his cock. She wouldn’t change a thing. Glory, godhood, all the gold in the world - she wouldn’t take any of it if it meant losing this, and none of it matters if she loses it tomorrow.

There’s pressure that she’s not used to as he pushes inside her, and fresh tears cling to her lashes. He kisses her closed eyelids, and then, in one quick move, sheathes himself to the hilt.

“Mierda.” She almost doesn’t hear the word over the sound of her own moaning. He tucks his face into her neck. “You feel so good ,” he whispers, starting to move with slow, exploratory pumps of his hips. “So tight. Mmm… So wet.”

She answers with a whimper, wishing she could take his fingers further down her throat.

“You are so beautiful, Vittoria. Have I told you that before? How beautiful you are? It's too much, sometimes, to look at you.”

Another whimper. Her face must be as red as the blood in her veins, but her embarrassment means nothing if the sounds bring him pleasure.

“You have saved my life more times than I can count.” The confessions sound strained in his effort not to come before she comes a second time. “You have not only saved my life, but you have… made my life.”

It’s impossible to lie still with the onslaught of feelings and she throws her head back, breathing hard. He takes it as an invitation to sink his teeth into her neck, and when she clenches around him, the answering bite is strong enough to draw blood. But she doesn’t care. How many scars does she have on her body from people who mean nothing to her? She would take a scar from the man that she loves. She’d take a hundred.

Instead of continuing to bite her, he sucks a bruise into the skin of her neck. She clenches around him again. The even pace of his hips stutters. She’s not going to last much longer, and she doesn’t think that he’s going to, either.

“I am not losing you.” He hits a place inside of her that feels different than the others and her hips jerk into him of their own accord. It punches a moan out of him, which prompts a similar one from her. She loves the sounds he makes. She loves the feeling of him inside of her, and clenches around him again in the hopes that it will keep him there. “There it is. Ohh. Oh, there you are, mi vida. Stay with me forever, Vittoria, just like this.”

“I will.” A tear falls down Vittoria’s forehead. Lucanis keeps fucking her into the cushions. “I’m yours, Lucanis. I’ve always been yours.”

After they finish, after they return to themselves, he draws his fingers out from between her lips, brushes the hair from her face, and laughs. She laughs, too. Whatever happened in the previous months, whatever happens tomorrow, she forgets it all for one long, shining moment, and for that moment, it’s just the two of them held tight in each other’s embrace. She and the man she loves. But did she tell him that? In her mania? She can’t remember. Unwilling to waste the moment but unable to form words, she kisses his forehead, across his temple, down to the hollow of his cheek, hoping each brush of her lips serves as a confession. He chuckles as she continues to make her way from one side of his head to another. After her eyes have been opened long enough to focus, she can see that he’s blushing.

And then his lips meet hers again, the resulting kiss intense enough to make her toes curl. He licks into her mouth like he thinks he can find salvation inside of it, inside of her, and... maybe he can. Maybe he already did. She knows that she found the same in him. Because no matter what happens, no matter how hard it gets, she does not want to die tomorrow, and, if nothing else, loving him has taught her that the things you want the most have a way of coming true, even when it seems impossible.

[goodnightmemes]

GLADIATOR (2000) SENTENCE STARTERS

❛ At my signal, unleash hell. ❜

❛ What we do in life echoes in eternity. ❜

❛ After two weeks on the road your incessant scheming is hurting my head. ❜  

❛ There is always someone left to fight. ❜

❛ The gods must have a sense of humor. ❜  

❛ A soldier has the advantage of being able to look his enemy in the eye. ❜

❛ Don't get too comfortable. I may call on you before long. ❜

❛ If only you had been born a man. What a Caesar you would have made. ❜  

❛ Let us pretend that you are a loving daughter and I, a good father. ❜  

❛ This is a pleasant fiction, isn’t it? ❜  

❛ I will not believe that they fought and died for nothing. ❜

❛ Will you accept this great honor that I have offered you? ❜

❛ With all my heart, no. ❜  

❛ You are the son that I should have had. ❜

❛ You are lying. I could always tell when you were lying because you were never good at it. ❜  

❛ Is it really so terrible seeing me again? ❜

❛ Sometimes I do what I want to do. The rest of the time I do what I have to. ❜

❛ I searched the faces of the gods for ways to please you, to make you proud. ❜  

❛ What is it in me you hate so much? ❜

❛ Your fault as a son is my failure as a father. ❜

❛ I would have butchered the whole world if you would have only loved me! ❜  

❛ Take my hand. I only offer it once. ❜

❛ At least give me a clean death - a soldier’s death. ❜  

❛ As your mother was there at your beginning, so I shall be there at your end. ❜

❛ Ultimately, we’re all dead men. ❜  

❛ As always, your lightest touch commands obedience. ❜

❛ Who are they to lecture me?  ❜

❛ It’s an idea, greatness. Greatness is a vision. ❜  

❛ I will give the people a vision and they will love me for it. ❜  

❛ Fear and wonder - a powerful combination. ❜

❛ He will give them death, and they will love him for it. ❜  

❛ ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED?! ❜  

❛ I am required to kill, so I kill. That is enough. ❜  

❛ I wasn’t the best because I killed quickly. I was the best because the crowd loved me. ❜  

❛ Win the crowd, win your freedom. ❜   

❛ Do you believe you'll see them again when you die? ❜

❛ You will meet them again. But not yet. Not yet. ❜  

❛ I didn't know men could build such things. ❜

❛ All my desires are splitting my head to pieces. ❜

❛ They said you were a giant. They said you can crush a man’s skull with one hand. ❜  

❛ Go, and die with honor. ❜  

❛ We who are about to die, salute you. ❜  

❛ If we stay together, we survive. ❜

❛ Why doesn’t the hero reveal himself and tell us all your real name? You do have a name? ❜  

❛ I will have my vengeance in this life or the next. ❜  

❛ He shouldn’t be alive. This vexes me. I am terribly vexed. ❜  

❛ If they lie to me, they don't respect me. If they don't respect me, how can they ever love me? ❜

❛ I wouldn’t want to be your enemy. ❜  

❛ I knew your brother would send assassins. I didn’t know he would send his best. ❜  

❛ I have been living in a prison of fear since that day. ❜  

❛ The gods have spared you. Don't you understand? ❜

❛ Today I saw a slave become more powerful than the Emperor of Rome. ❜  

❛ They oppose him, yet they do nothing. ❜  

❛ Forget you ever knew me. Never come here again. ❜  

❛ You have a great name. He must kill your name before he kills you. ❜  

❛ We mortals are but shadows and dust. ❜

❛ What am I going to do with you, you simply won’t die. ❜  

❛ Are we so different, you and I? You take life when you have to, as do I. ❜  

❛ I only have one life left to take and then it is done. ❜  

❛ The time for honoring yourself will soon be at an end. ❜

❛ I will not make a martyr of him. ❜  

❛ I hope my coming here today is enough evidence that you can trust me. ❜  

❛ Let my men see me alive and you shall see where their loyalties lie. ❜

❛ I will not trade one dictatorship for another! ❜

❛ Because that was the last wish of a dying man. ❜  

❛ Do you remember what it was to have trust? ❜

❛ It’s a dream, a frightful dream… life is. ❜  

❛ You risk too much. ❜  

❛ I have much to pay for. ❜  

❛ I am tired of being strong. ❜

❛ Was I very different then? ❜  

❛ I have felt alone all my life, except with you. ❜  

❛ Sometimes royal ladies behave very strangely and do very odd things in the name of love. ❜  

❛ He was betrayed, by those closest to him… by his own blood … they whispered in dark corners and went out late at night and conspired and conspired… ❜  

❛ Tell me what you have been doing, or I shall strike down those dearest to you. You shall watch as I bathe in their blood. ❜   

❛ Are you in danger of becoming a good man? ❜

❛ As for you, you will love me, as I have loved you. ❜  

❛ Am I not merciful? AM I NOT MERCIFUL? ❜  

❛ A striking story. Now the people want to know how the story ends. Only a famous death will do. ❜  

❛ I think you have been afraid all your life. ❜  

❛ Death smiles at us all. All a man can do is smile back. ❜  

❛ That makes us brothers, doesn’t it? Smile for me now brother. ❜  

❛ There was once a dream that was Rome, it shall be realized. ❜  

❛ Is Rome worth one good man’s life? We believed it once. Make us believe it again. ❜  

❛ I will see you again. But not yet, not yet… ❜

[irrelevant-host]

I think that maybe things aren’t going to get better

[theceaselessidiot]

Eloise Bridgerton being an absolute mood:

and Cressida's reaction of 'this girl is so weird, but I'm into it??? Wait am I into this??'':

[dollypopup]

I can't stop thinking about Colin on his travels. Colin, alone, on a journey to 17 different cities, across several countries. Colin on his own.

Colin who writes letter after letter, to his family, to his friends, and barely gets a response back. How long before he understands that they didn't get lost in the mail? How long until he realizes that, just like when he was a boy, no one has the time for him? The space for him? How many letters unanswered before he lets it finally take root and fester in his mind?

He could have died on that tour.

Would they even notice? Would they see when the letters slow until they cease? Would they wonder why? His mum, surely (maybe, possibly, but she has enough on her hands, besides, and he's never been a concern, in need of her assistance, before), but anyone else? Anthony on his honeymoon, Eloise a stormcloud personified, Benedict taking on the familial responsibilities, Fran preparing for the marriage mart and in Bath, regardless. Daphne, his closest sister, a mum running her own estate.

Greg and Hyacinth who enjoy his stories, but are children.

Pen who ignores him. No explanation, no goodbye.

Colin who has no one in his corner. Colin who travels city to city, putting on personas. Will they like me? What about now? Colin who has hardly anything to read from the people he loves. Who do not think of him.

And yet he thinks of them. Brings them back gifts, writes his recollections for them until it hits him that, oh, they don't care. They don't care what he's doing, how he's doing. They didn't want to hear it before, when he was there with them, and they do not want to hear it now, either. Did they even open those envelopes? Did they see them come through the post, just as proof he's alive, and shrug off the contents? Did they look? Once, Colin sends an empty page. No one notices. Easier, then, to send just the outsides. People only ever care about the outsides. Pretty and prim in neat packages, uncaring of what lies beneath. Sea sick on the rocking boats, staring up at stars on the continent, Colin grows aware, but not bitter. Sad, but resigned.

He loves his family, he loves Pen, loves them to grace, loves them to it's okay. It was him, he determines. Too chatty, his letters too long, uninteresting, his passions dull or droll, or else, worse, he's displeased them in some way. Colin who takes refuge in stranger's arms and homes, who dreams and tries to sate his curiosity. Colin who pretends, because anyone, anyone but him would be received better, he's sure of it. Colin who must talk too much, surely, and with no one to listen. Colin who learns to hush.

Yes. Remarkable- as in, I have many remarks about it.

How many times did he go to excitedly write of what he did that week, and stopped himself, knowing it was a waste? How many times did he write and throw into the fire a letter asking Why don't you see me? Why don't you care?

If he didn't make it, how long would it take for anyone to notice? A month? Two? A year? Would they wave it off as his frivolity, denounce him as a flake and fume about the funds? Would they wonder where it was he had lost himself off at?

He cannot fall into that, so, he writes in his journal, instead. Of the ache of it, of how he longs for connection, for understanding, for someone to take him seriously. He keeps it with him, this log of his discontent, of his folly and felicity, of his pitfalls and pains.

If he didn't make it, would they realize all that's left of him is what he sent them, not even a body to bury? Did he look over the side of a bow of a boat and look at the churn of the ocean and think of how many bones it held? Did he tip his face to the sun? How many new scars did he earn? Who did he befriend?

Who did he become?

Somewhere along the line, Colin learned. He learned the real him wasn't wanted.

Somewhere along the line, somewhere between Patmos and Paris, Colin left Colin behind.

And, somewhere along the line, Colin laid face to face with loneliness in his bed, and it wrapped its arms around him.