#and how every scene has 5 layers and every one of them is important to characters and is plot relevant

[gwenpendragns]

i was asked by @matthew-macfadyens for a colouring tutorial, so here we go ! i've been making gifs for almost 4 years now and finally feel comfortable and confident in my skills to make a full tutorial on my colouring process. there are so many different ways people colour gifs, and there's no wrong way, this is just how i do it ! i learned to gif by reading so many tutorials and picking and choosing what works for me, so hopefully this can help someone out !

if this tutorial helps you, please considering supporting me ! buy me coffee ♡

TUTORIAL UNDER THE CUT

what you'll need: - photoshop ( i use ps cc 2023 & frame timeline ) - basic ps knowledge ( how to make gifs, how to sharpen gifs, general understanding of adjustment layers, layer masks and blending modes ) - a whole lot of patience

helpful resources:

the beginner's guide to channel mixer by @aubrey-plaza

giffing 101 by @cillianmurphy

gif making for beginners by @hayaosmiyazaki

colouring yellow-tinted shots by @ajusnice

becca's mega colouring tutorial by @nataliescatorccio

@usergif

PART ONE: BASE COLOURING

- step 1: curves - step 2: exposure - step 3: colour balance - step 4: selective colour - step 5: levels - step 6: brightness / contrast - step 7: gradient map

okay so, before we get started, this tutorial is for colouring only. at this point, i've already gotten my screencaps, imported them into photoshop, made the actual gif & sharpened the gif. the above image includes what my typical adjustment layer stack looks like !

STEP ONE: CURVES

a lot of people do the majority of their heavy lifting in curves...i'm not one of those people. i've never gotten the hang of curves and haven't been able to fully taken advantage of everything it can offer. i use curves to mainly brighten up my gif and to start my process.

i use the "auto" button in the curves function - this automatically corrects the curves for your gif ( mainly the brightness / contrast )

you can see that the auto curves has brightened up the gif and evened out the brightness/contrast. i just find this gives a better starting point for the colouring process.

STEP TWO: EXPOSURE

this step is for, you guessed it, brightening the gif more and evening out the contrast and blacks. i don't have any real rules for doing this, the amount i highten the exposure and contrast is different based on the scene and the show, however, i tend to stay around +1 on both exposure and gamma correction.

exposure effects the brightness of the gif and gamma correction effects the blacks and contrast. this step also effects the saturation of the gif, so it's important not to go too crazy. i often end up coming back to this step every now and again to adjust and fiddle with it.

for this gif, i put the exposure at +1.18 and the gamma correction at 0.85

you can see this step serves to add some more brightness and contrast - it also adds some more saturation, that we don't always want, but don't worry, that's what the next steps are for !

STEP THREE: COLOUR BALANCE

i use this step to do a lot of my heavy lifting - i'm a whore for colour balance. this serves to even out the colours and help neutralize the colours for an easier canvas. it's important to understand the basics of colour theory for this, i recommend checking out the channel mixer tutorial i listed above, because a lot of those steps applies to colour balance.

essentially, there's three separate profiles to edit on - highlights, midtones and shadows. in each profile, you have 3 colour sliders. the top one is your cyan to red, middle is magenta to green, and bottom is yellow to blue. the colouring of the scene will decide where to move your sliders.

for example: if your original scene has a cyan tint to it, you'll want to pull your slider to the right, towards the red to help neutralize the cyan. if your scene has a green tint, you'll want to pull it left towards the magenta. as you move the sliders, you'll notice that sometimes it brings out other colours you don't necessarily need, you can adjust the other sliders to help neutralize further.

i always do my main correction in the midtones profile.

since this scene has a heavy yellow tint, my first step was to adjust the bottom slider. i pulled the slider to the right towards blue at +22. you can see this helped get rid of a lot of the yellow, but adding in the blue warmed up the reds and made it more saturated.

to help with this, i pulled the top slider left towards cyan to help neutralize that red.

i pulled the top slider to -28 and you can see this cut out that heavy saturation and redness. it's looking a lot better, but now it's a little too green for my liking. this is where that middle slider comes in!

i pulled the middle slider to -6 towards the magenta to help counteract the green that came in. ( i ended up going back in and adjusting the bottom slider to +10 instead, as it was a little to blue )

you can see this step really did the heavy lifting, helping to neutralize the canvas so that it's easier to work with...but it's not quite perfect yet!

STEP FOUR: SELECTIVE COLOUR

a lot of the same principles around colour theory apply to selective colour! this is where i go to adjust the colours according to what my colour palette is. for this gif, the overall colour is going to be purple, so i'll adjust the individual colours with that in mind.

i only ever adjust my red, yellow, white and black profiles! sometimes i'll do the other colours, but that's only for tweaking the final colour. i normally don't touch them at all.

ps: you'll notice i prefer a cooler toned gif, and almost always go for a more magenta looking red/yellow.

i always start with my yellows:

in the yellow profile, i pull my cyan towards the left to -38 (this helps eliminate the green in the yellows) and my yellow slider to the left to -27 (this cools down the yellows. i top it off by adjusting my magenta slider to -10, to help lower the saturation of the yellows.

you'll notice this step got rid of most of the green undertones - that's because the green was nested inside the yellows, so by taking out a lot of the cyan and yellow, you're left with a warmer yellow as opposed to a cooler yellow.

next i go on to my reds. this step will mainly effect the alys's skin tone, but i'm going to do pretty much the same as above but with much less dramatic of a change. lowering your colours in your red profile too much can lead to a very saturated gif, which is not what i'm going for.

i pulled my cyan slider to -19, magenta to -9 and yellow to -15. you can see this helped add some more cooler tones to the reds.

the next profiles are your white and black profiles. i use white to brighten the lightest parts of the gif. no rhyme or reason here, i just pull the black slider towards the left...usually around -25. for the black profile, i always move the black slider towards the right. anywhere from +3 to +8, depending on the gif. for this gif, i did +8. this darkens the blacks and, in my opinion, helps the gif pop!

you can see this step got rid of the yellow tint, gave the gif a more neutral look and adjusted the reds to better compliment a purple colour scheme !

STEP FIVE: LEVELS

this adjustment has three toggles - i'm not 100% sure what each toggle really does, i just know that by pulling the leftmost toggle to the right, it darkens your gif, and pulling the rightmost toggle to the left brightens your gif.

this step is so hard to explain, but really i just pull the toggles around until it looks good...sorry !

STEP SIX: BRIGHTNESS / CONTRAST

this step is exactly what it says on the tin...it brightens your gif. this step is based on your scene and personal preference, there's no real guide to it.

i always pull my brightness slider to the right ( brighter ) and my contrast slider to the left ( less contrast ).

STEP SEVEN: GRADIENT MAP

this last step is something i learned from @nataliescatorccio ! i add a gradient map to the top of my stack, and choose a lighter colour of what i want my overall gif to be. in this case, i used a very light purple!

i then set the blending mode to "soft light" and lower the opacity to anywhere from 20-30%. for this gif, i did 30%

this step will help make your colour pop once you do your main colouring!

PART TWO: PAINTING & COLOURING

- step 1: layer 1 - step 2: layer 2 - step 3: layer 3 - step 4: final touches

okay, so my actual colouring process is based in 3 layers. for this gif, i'm using a deep purple/mauve colour !

STEP ONE: LAYER ONE

between your brightness/contrast and gradient map layers, add another blank layer. change the blending mode of this layer to "colour" and set the opacity to 40%.

then, using a soft round brush with an opacity of 100% ( size of the brush is your preference, i typically use around 108 ), colour the parts of the gif you want coloured !

you can see this helps us get the canvas to a more uniform purple colour!

STEP TWO: LAYER TWO

for layer two we're going to do the exact same thing. add a layer above your previous, set to "colour" at 40%. we're going to go over the same areas!

you can see this helped get the purple so much more vibrant and closer to what our final colour is going to be!

STEP THREE: LAYER THREE

for our final layer, add another layer above the previous 2, set your blending mode to "multiply" and your opacity to anything from 60%-100%. for this gif, i did 60% !

now, our colouring is pretty much done but you can see that, now that our colour is down, alys's face is still a little too blue/green/yellow for the background purple. the next step, we're going to adjust and add final touches!

STEP FOUR: FINAL TOUCHES

at this point, i went back into my selective colour layer and adjusted my yellows & reds and went back into my colour balance layer to adjust everything overall.

at this point, i'm going to go in and add some adjustments layers above everything - i usually add some brightness/contrast, and a selective colour layer to darken the blacks.

which brings us to our final result:

[green5quirrel]

TL;DR: I think Monroe's striking and chiming clocks were underutilized for truly hilarious interruptions when the hour strikes and 5 or so clocks announce it in sync.

I think we've all looked over a very important detail in Nick having stayed over at Monroe's for a time. I feel like I REALLY want someone to explore this in a fanfiction of some sort.

Monroe has several "striking" clocks in his house. A striking clock (or just clock for those who differentiate clocks as striking and timepieces as non-striking) makes sounds every hour, half hour, or can chime every quarter hour depending on the number of mechanisms.

Monroe obviously has a grandfather clock (or grandmother clock as I'm not sure the height of it) thanks to him telling Hap not to touch it. So that is definitely a striking and chime clock. Or has the potential to be as such if it's not silenced. He also has potentially more than one cuckoo clock.

Can you imagine the absolute terror of a person who has never been in a house with more than one striking clock as it hits the hour or half hour for the first time.

Now, ideally Monroe will have silenced most of his clocks. I don't know. I don't have any working clocks. I don't know how most horologists do things at their private homes. If they find the striking nostalgic or welcomed. But let's err on the side that Monroe has been living alone for a long time and actually does find a few chimes and striking nostalgic after growing up with it as his dad seemed to also be into clocks.

Let's layer this with the fact that Nick has very sensitive hearing (though I'm not sure when that happens. I could have my timelines wrong). Despite that, you're just getting to sleep at around 11pm or midnight and for some reason have been oblivious to or accepting of the chimes during the day. Or this is your first night in your friend, Monroe's, house and suddenly the first floor below you erupts in various chimes and tunes.

Can you imagine?!

I'm actually kind of astounded that this was never properly explored in the. In not one scene does any of Monroe's clocks strike despite how long everyone is at his house. I mean, if I had clocks I'd at least appreciate one of them striking.

The point is, I really want to either write or read a fanfiction where either Rosalee or Nick or Hank experiences the sound of an hour in the most unexpected way and grumpily complains to a completely and adorably oblivious Monroe.

(It would also have been a great gag if in the middle of a dramatic conversation it struck the top of the hour and Monroe patiently waits for his clocks to sound off before continuing. And Nick/whoever he's talking to is just like "Seriously dude?" And he's like, "What? ...fine! I'll silence them. Jeez! I didn't ask you to be here anyway, man!")

[avonne-writes]

Appreciation Tag Game

rule: tag as many creators as you'd like and for each of them, choose a favourite line/art/gif/edit from their work and tell them why you liked it.

I came up with a new tag game, lovelies, to share some appreciation for each other! And in this one, not only writers but creators of any other medium can participate 🥰 I'm tagging a lot of people to start this out, but you can tag as few or as many as you'd like!

@hogans-heroes - The Boy Who Lived

"He didn’t want to die, but he found that now he knew it was happening, now that every breath felt like a year—a new birth, a cold lifetime in his lungs—every second he held Gale was precious enough to make the life he had lived worthwhile."

This beautiful, emotional line made me tear up and think of how we should all focus on the things that make every breath worthwhile. I love that to Bucky, it was Gale.

@swifty-fox - my kingdom for a kiss upon your shoulder

"Him I will always forgive."

I could quote back the entire fic, it’s so packed with amazing lines, but this time, I wanted to highlight this one, because I think forgiveness is one of the most important themes of this story, and with only 5 words, this line perfectly captures Gale’s love and devotion to John as well.

@carnevol - this gifset

I knooow, I’m biased, but I think this is such a moving edit, with the way you layered the march scenes on each other and the barbed wire graphic, plus the beautiful highlight of the word love. I love this gifset!

@rambleonwaywardson - Olympics AU part 2

“Mmm.” Gale takes another sip, lets Bucky stew in silence, as if he has to think about it. Then the corner of his mouth pulls up in that way that Bucky is coming to love, and he says, “it’s good.” So Bucky leans towards him, grabs the hair at the back of his head, and he kisses him. The taste of whiskey collides with notes of cognac and lemon, smokey and sweet. He kisses Gale in a way that he’s rarely kissed anyone else before: gentle and wanting, asking and taking, soft and smooth like a love song. And Gale lets him.

I love how Gale teases him by taking his time to reply, I could imagine it so clearly! And then their first kiss was so sweet and beautiful, perfectly fits the slow, comforting, romantic vibe of this chapter. I really enjoy their chemistry.

@crowthis - this fanart

I think the dynamism of this sketch is amazing! I love how the lines and the way John and Gale's forms are more detailed than the background draw the focus to them. Not to mention how, I think, we all wish this was canon!

If you're tagged, please keep the game going (but no pressure if you don’t want to) 🥰

[logangarfield]

Gif/Coloring Tutorial

I was asked by @just-lost-inbetween-worlds​​  how I make, specifically, my Titans gifs so I figured I’d just make a tutorial on the gif making and coloring since the show is SO blue and the process is the same for all of my gifs.

I did try and go into every step so it’s hopefully beginner friendly lol It did get a little long but I hope it helps!!

What you’ll need:

Clip of what you’re giffing (try using footage that’s 1080p or 4k, nothing below 720p)

Adobe Photoshop (I’m using 2022)

Step 1:

Open photoshop, click file > import video frames to layers

Use the cursors to trim the part you want to gif, make sure you have “make frame animation” selected

Step 2: 

Group all of the frames you want to be a part of your gif. Click your first layer then crtl+shift+click your last layer 

Step 3:

Delete the frames and layers you don’t want to be a part of your gif. Select the layers and click the little trash can at the very bottom of your layer panel. Do the same in your timeline

Step 4:

Click the hamburger stack at the right hand side of your timeline then click “select all frames”

Click one of the little arrows on one of your frames and change the speed to 0.05

Step 5:

Change the size of your canvas. Tumblr has specific dimensions for gifs. For 1 column gifs, the width should be 540px, for 2 column gifs the width should be 268px, and for three column gifs the width should be 177px on the outside gifs and 178px for the middle gifs.

My favorite dimensions are 540px by 340px but you can mess around with the height. The height of the gif does not matter

Step 6:

Select your group then go to edit > free transform. Use free transform to adjust your frames to fit your new canvas size

Step 7:

Click the hamburger stack and select all frames. Ungroup your layers by right clicking your group then “ungroup layers”.  On the bottom left side of your timeline, click the little hamburger stack with a line through it to covert your timeline to frame animation. Just make sure all of your frames and layers are selected when you turn your timeline into frame animation

Step 8:

Select all of your layers and right click > “covert to smart object”

Your work space should look like this

Step 9: 

The coloring! Click the little folder at the very bottom of your layers panel

Step 10:

Click the adjustment layers option and select “Channel mixer”.  

I really like channel mixer for scenes that are really blue and really yellow. It’s a quick way to reverse those filters. Channel Mixer works with contrasting colors. So, your blues go yellow, your greens go purple and your reds go blue. I highly recommend this tutorial by @zoyanazyalensky​​​ . It is amazing and they explain channel mixer worlds better than I ever could lol

For my gif, it’s really blue, so I go to the blue channel and bring the blue blues down a little

My gif starts going a little bit green so I open the green channel and bring the green greens down a little bit

I just messed with the blue and green mixer until I was happy with it. My channel mixer settings ended up looking like this

Step 11:

Click the adjustments layer option and select "Brightness/Contrast”

These are my brightness and contrast settings. Set these to whatever works best for your gif. Be careful not to brighten too much because your gif can go a bit grainy if you do

Step 12: 

Click the adjustments layer option and select “Color Balance”

I love color balance. You can adjust a lot with it and it’s a great adjustment layer. For every gif, I start with midtones. For blue gifs like this one, I slide all of the sliders to the right and staircase them. There isn’t a specific number I set them to since every gif is different so I just slide them until I’m happy with them.

Next, click the drop down menu that says “midtones” and select “shadows”. For shadows, I also slide them just a little bit to the right.

Next, click the drop down menu and click “highlights”. Again, just move those a little bit to the right.

This is what mine looks like

For gifs that are more yellow, you’ll likely slide your sliders to the left instead of the right!! 

This is what my gif looks like with Channel Mixer, Brightness/Contrast, and Color Balance

Step 13:

Click the adjustments layer option and select “Selective Color”

Selective color is great because it allows you to fine tune individual colors within your gif rather than changing the entire color of it. Selective color is really helpful when it comes to skin tones as well. There isn’t a specific way I do this lol I just slide the sliders left and right until I like what it looks like lol

This is what mine looks like

I almost allows brings the white blacks all the way to -100 and have the black blacks set to +1 to +3

Step 14:

Click the adjustments layer option and select "Vibrance”. I just upped the vibrance and saturation a bit since Jason’s skin was looking a little washed out.

This is what mine look like

Step 15:

Add your sharpening!! Click your smart object then go to filter > sharpen > smart sharpen. I’m using sharpening by @anya-chalotra​​​ but I usually set the reduce noise to 7

Step 16:

Export!! Go to file > export > save for web

Make sure your gif is under 10mb (red circle) because if it’s over 10, it won’t play on Tumblr.

Make sure your colors are set to 256 and your dither is 100% (green circle), the quality is set to “bicubic” (blue circle), and the looping is set to forever (pink circle). The yellow circle are my other settings. You can play around with those but I find adaptive and diffusion work best in most cases!!

Step 17:

Photoshop will export your gif with a speed of 0.07 so now you need to fix that. Once your gif is saved, open your gif in Photoshop again. Select all of your frames and change the speed to 0.05. Then export it like above and save!!

And that’s it!! I hope this was at least somewhat helpful!! If you have any questions, feel free to send me an ask!!

Here are some other gifs I’ve done following these same steps

[paigegonerogue]

Here’s why the infected scene in episode 5 of TLOU works so well…

Buildup: As of episode five in the series, we’ve seen infected multiple times already, and every appearance has built up this “threat-level” of them. In the first two episodes we see both the larger scale of the infected and how scary they can be in hordes (like the driving scene and the capitol building, as well as the absolutely brilliant overlook scene), but also how threatening they can be solo (Joel and Sarah in the diner and the museum scene)… also in episode three we get Bill’s little “ehehe” from an infected death which is just as if not far more important as well.

By the time we see the infected come running out of the crater, the writers have already intentionally and precisely given us the knowledge of just how scary the infected can be.

That’s also why I’m glad they only did this type of massive battle once in the series, because once they did it, it becomes impossible to recapture that buildup and almost “unleashing” of the infected, of seeing just how scary they are.

The buildup also includes the more typical rising tension of the episode (which was, like everything else in the show, done absolutely fantastically), and the foreshadowing of the infected by both Kathleen and Henry.

Scale: The infected scene in episode 5 is by far the biggest in scale action sequence of the show. The huge amounts of infected pouring out of the rubble and the massive Bloater, as well as how many people are involved, the fighting in the background, it makes the whole battle feel huge. It leaves you in this sense of almost “awe” that so many great action sequences have.

Horror: In the sequence there are horror elements added in to make it feel scarier (complementing both of the points above). Obviously zombies are already horror-esque, but that’s not what I mean.

I feel like the best example of horror elements being incorporated into the fight is the part where Ellie is in the car. Enclosed spaces are a horror staple. Ellie being trapped in the enclosed space with an infected, and later Henry and Sam trapped under the car, transition this battle beautifully into tension-filled smaller scale sections in this massive battle, with parts so pinprick focused on the people we care most about, and how bloodthirsty and terrifying these monsters are.

We also see it in Kathleen’s shocking and gruesome death, and the power of the bloater, almost reminiscent of the predator or other near-unstoppable horror forces.

Cinematography: The lighting in the battle is so good, with the fire and darkness adding to this scary effect of the battle, as well as this extra layer of dynamism and contrast.

Also, I’m always a sucker for background fight, following characters as they navigate through violence. The way this sequence does it is also incredibly well done, with the background ever-shifting and changing, with the focus of the shot being on someone actively trying to avoid the fight and get past this living mass of gore.

The handheld style of TLOU is something I can write essays about (and I will! Post about cinematography coming soon lol) but in this sequence it makes you feel like you’re on the ground with the characters as the battle rages around you.

Monster Design: This one is self-explanatory, I’d say. The clickers, and the Bloater, my goodness the Bloater, look so incredibly good. And the way that they created this almost alien thing overtaking regular peoples bodies and turning them into monsters is incredibly amazing, and the practical effects make it look so real and detailed (they had the makeup guy who did the Night King and Vecna)

Emotional Resonance: This one’s pretty simple. The battle makes you feel things. Not just fear for the characters, though there’s definitely a lot of that, but also showcasing Joel and Ellie’s growing bond, with Ellie trusting Joel to have her back and Joel desperately trying to protect her.

It was absolutely magnificent, and an absolute feat of filmmaking.

[lucky-dreamfisher]

Controversial opinion: the weakest part of BATDR is the story

There’s no denying that BATDR is a better game in terms of graphics and gameplay. I’ve seen AAA titles with worse looks and design.

But I feel like BATIM was a superior game when it comes to the story.

Characters had no buildup. In BATIM almost every major character got some kind of backstory and buildup before we met them. Sammy had multiple tapes in Chapter 2, Susie had multiple tapes, Bertrum did, even Tom. The only character with seemingly no past was Allison, everyone else was a fully fleshed-out individual. People also sort of assumed that Boris was Wally because of how much character development and backstory Wally got through the tapes. This was retconned later in the books, but at the time of the game we all thought we had a significant amount of knowledge about the characters we meet in it.

When Porter got a character sheet posted on twitter, we all thought he’d be an important character. Instead he’s just... there. Show’s up for 5 minutes, passes on his power and disappears. Blink and you’ll miss him, he had no more screen time than Heidi. The two of them could easily have been replaced by buttons with the sign “press here for new power” and nothing of value would be lost. They have no past, and no role in the story. Compare them to Boris, where the entire plot of chapter 4 is about saving him. He mattered. The fact that he was there mattered.

And it’s not like there was no time to develop the characters. The game has dozens of notes and audio logs, but they all come from random people, who we never hear from again. You could easily replace some of them with memos about Porter’s backstory, or Heidi’s, or Betty’s. A lot of those audio logs are voiced by youtubers and I feel like JDS prioritized giving youtubers guest cameos over making the character they voice actually have a place in the story.

In BATIM the enemies were also thematically linked with the place we met them in. Chapter 2 takes place in the Music Department, so it makes sense that the main character appearing in the tapes would be the Music Director, and he would be the one we’re fighting at the end. Chapter 4 takes place in Bendyland, so the tapes are about a theme park designer and the enemy is that designer in the form of an attraction. In BATDR we have that one spider boss fight, but what is this, why is it there, how is it linked thematically with the rest of the chapter? I guess Shipley got slightly more reason to exist, but the idea of him was introduced in the last 5 minutes. There was no buildup.

Why even divide the story into chapters if these chapters have no underlying theme? Can you guys even remember what each chapter’s plot is about? I’ve watched the playthroughs 3 times and I still can’t, because it all just seems so... random. A collection of random scenes, random enemies, random tapes. This may have been intentional, because the current “master” of the story is Wilson, who has no relation to JDS the way Joey did, but story being bad on purpose, wrapped in 3 layers of irony, is still a bad story.

Finally: the ending felt underwhelming. it’s completely incomprehensible to someone who hasn’t played the previous game. In BATIM, Henry killing the Ink Demon with the End Reel made sense, because we had it explained to us what the ink demon is and how the End Reel works: Bendy was created as a living cartoon, and he has never seen “the end” of the cartoon. Henry also had a personal connection to both Bendy and the end reel, as Bendy was his creation, and the end reel came from the cartoon he personally animated, which was stolen to rob him of his achievements. In BATDR Henry just says “oh yeah get that one random gizmo and it will kill this random demon walking around that we know nothing about” but it didn’t have to be the end reel, it could’ve been anything. Could’ve been a gent pipe, could’ve been a bullet from the tommy gun, and it would’ve worked just as well. There was no thematic setup, and very little personal connection to Audrey.

It’s ok to omit some information that’s available in the earlier installments of the franchise, but that should only go for secondary objects and characters. The ending especially should feel like a natural conclusion of the journey you went through in the game you’re playing right now, not the one before it. It would have made much more sense for Audrey to defeat the ink demon by using her special powers, as those powers were built up throughout the narrative. Instead, it’s like she completely forgets she ever had them, and she’s handed the ultimate weapon that’s irrelevant to her character. Audrey has no connection to the reel, and very little connection to Bendy, as the game doesn’t ever explain to us Joey’s role in creating him, instead choosing to highlight Gent’s role in the experiments and Wilson’s role in separating the two versions of Bendy. It essentially feels like winning the final fight by using a last minute cheat, instead of something you’ve been actively working on and developing throughout your journey.

tl;dr BATDR is less of a story and more like a collection of random “wouldn’t it be cool if..?” moments, with no glue tying it together. BATIM was just better and I hope that the next game will follow the lead of BATIM storytelling more than BATDR storytelling.

[starseneyes]

Chenford- Lucy Chen / Tim Bradford - The Rookie - Season 5 - Ep 12

"Death Notice" aka "Bow Chicka Bow Wow"

SPOILER ALERT: If y'all wanna stay un-spoiled. Run. Just run. I say this with all love, but this is not the place to be. I am going to spoil EVERY SINGLE DETAIL that I notice. But, if you want to digest every morsel of deliciousness with me, come on in!

How'd it all shake out? Let's dive in!

Riding in an Elevator

Let's just call out Tim for stopping the elevator for Lucy, and her little breathless, "thanks". These two are adorbs. Also, shoutout to the makeup, hair, and costume departments who put a lot of work into this scene.

And Tim's eyeroll on the "Detectives" line? I was rolling.

Tamara and Lucy

FINALLY getting to see Tamara, again!

"You're here." "I live here. "I went to bed at one and you still weren't home. "Oh, I came home around then. I must've just missed you. Trivia went late." "And how was Trivia?"

Let's be real. The entire point of this conversation is that Tamara wants to let her know that she's onto Lucy. Tamara wants to talk about this new development, considering last she knew of Tim and Lucy was "This is work" when she caught them macking in the living room.

And Tamara is never going to judge Lucy, and will always give her space. But, it's about time the gal came clean with someone.

"You are such a smooth liar. I guess I shouldn't be surprised, all that undercover training." "I'm not lying. "I saw Tim drop you off."

I love the fact that Lucy literally drops the weight she's been carrying. Not only that, she slides around to sit on the couch and dish with her roomie about her new boyfriend.

Lucy crosses from behind the couch that was separating them and sits on it, leaning down to chat with Tamara. The camera moves down with her, the audience settling in with Lucy.

"Thank God. I am so over coming up with cover stories." "Why the big secret? You're both single." "I mean, we're just keeping things under wraps until we figure things out."

There are so many layers and levels here to the why. But this implies that Tim and Lucy don't want to go public until they have a gameplan. And that really makes sense for both their personalities.

I've seen folks ask, "Why is Tim so cool with this secret dating thing?" Do you know how weird it can be when friends start dating and they spend every. freakin. day. around their other friends? Everyone has an opinion.

Tim doesn't mind delaying that a bit longer. Same with Lucy. But, also, this is a huge transition. Even though they're both secure in the knowledge that they want one another, and they have years of history, they have to figure out who they are together.

"We're not sleeping together." "Why not?"

First off, the music cue had me rolling. Oh. My. Goodness. Director, Editor, whoever came up with that idea? Thank you. I had a much needed giggle.

But, also, remember that this is strange behavior for Lucy. Lucy isn't a one-night-stand girl, but she's also not a "dating you but not doing you" girl.

Tamara's gotta be wondering if Tim misfires or something, at this point, because there ain't no other reason she can think of that Lucy hasn't torn those clothes off by now.

And this is part of the maturity of Tim and Lucy's relationship that I love. They don't need to be sleeping together to be fully committed, but they're also not rushing to get to that moment.

"We're taking it slow. We want to do this right." "So, you're not sure how you feel?" "I know exactly how I feel. I mean, this is the most amazing relationship I've been in since, ever."

Oooh, the "r" word returns. Lucy tried to talk to Tim about their relationship on her last day riding with him as a Rookie and the man was not a fan of putting a label on it.

But, it's also important to note that Tim and Lucy have been dating a matter of weeks and she already knows this is the best relationship of her life. Not only the most important. Best.

"Okay. And you're waiting why… again?"

I hear Tamara's point! If y'all are on the same page and completely committed, why aren't clothes flying through our living room? For one, Tamara might want to get a look at Tim's bare chest in Jackson's honor. For two, what's the hold-up, lady?

I've talked a lot about them savoring this relationship. But, I also think Lucy has been using the "taking it slow" idea as an excuse so she doesn't have to think about the roadblock in her way.

Think about it. Lucy couldn't process through whether or not to date Emmett, so she needed to talk it out with Tim. Lucy couldn't process why she didn't want to move in with Chris until she talked it out with Tim.

What Lucy needs to do is talk it out with Tim. But, Tamara's push is taking Lucy in a different direction. It's not a bad direction.

They could have slept together and it wouldn't have wrecked anything. But, I think the security they have at the end of the episode (Yes, I'm skipping a little... go with me, here) is what Lucy needed.

Tim isn't facing the issue of their professional relationship. This whole episode demonstrates that. They need to take care of that power imbalance, because if they don't, then there's no point in any of this.

To truly be together, there were three things that had to go as outlined by Tim in Season 5, Episode 1. "I'm dating Ashley. And Lucy is with Chris. And I'm her Superior Officer, so..."

Tim told us himself what has to go for them to truly be together. And it's that last one that's still in their way, whether they acknowledge it or not.

"Morning." "Morning."

First, I have to say I love to see them greeting one another fully. Back in 5x06, Lucy kept trying to tell Tim "Good morning" and he kept looking past her or trying to avoid it. Because he was trying to avoid her and his feelings for her.

But that particular obstacle is out of the way because Tim knows how she feels about him and Lucy knows how he feels about her.

Now to the part y'all thirsty folks really care about:

Hands. Glorious hands. Wandering, sexual-desire filled HANDS. Lucy holds her keys in both hands so she can release one as she sidles up alongside Tim. Tim taps on her thigh with his fingers, a little, "hey, honey". Then he tries to catch her finger with his pinkie. In broad daylight. In front of the station. Are you insane, Tim Bradford?!

They can't keep their hands to themselves! Y'all, these two are outside a police station where they both work. Before they were dating, they would stand outside with at least enough room for the entire Holy Trinity. Now, they're practically walking on top of each other and "sneaking" in touches.

But nobody's gonna notice? Yeah, right!!

Tim seems to finally remember himself and wipe that gorgeous grin off of his face. But, oy, I love seeing him so happy!

Both of them quickly make fists with their hands after the initial contact, and Tim even presses his hand against his pocket as though checking for his keys.

But it's Tim's smile that I can't stop rewinding and watching. Look. At. Our. Boy. Have we ever seen him so happy? Tim is beaming and all they did was barely brush one another.

Because much as the physical is amazing, it's about simply being close to the person who makes you happiest in the world. Lucy is Tim's person and he gets to touch her and have secret moments with her.

He's no longer pining across the parking lot. He's walking alongside her knowing she is his as he is hers. And, let's be real, this isn't about being possessive. Lucy isn't a purse any more than Tim is a wallet. It's about knowing that this person is your person. And Tim and Lucy are each other's.

And don’t think I didn’t peep the ring. Lucy chose to put that on this morning when she told him it was naked time, just like she did when she came to the station to tell him Chris was out of the way. The streak continues!

Folks... I haven't made it past the first two words of the scene... Y'all know this is gonna be a looooong one. I hope you have snacks!

"Ummm."

Look how Tim is still smiling as he leans his head closer to hear what she's going to say. So cute.

"Tonight is the night."

Tim was not expecting that. I'm not saying that he doesn't want to add that layer to their relationship. I'm simply saying he wasn't expecting her to announce it in the parking lot at work.

"Oh, really?"

Look at that man's quizzical brow. He wants to be sure he understands perfectly, that he's not misunderstanding. Because, come on, he misread things once before and Lucy set him straight. They've been on the same page for a while, now, and he wants to be sure they still are.

Lucy, meanwhile, has already planned out the outfit she's going to wear when he finally undresses her. Come on. You know she has. After the disaster of running late to their first date because she couldn't pick an outfit, Lucy can't be late to her own apartment.

Lucy's got a plan, and she's ready for her man. Wow, Dr. Suess just got a kinky upgrade, and I didn't even intend it! Anyway...

"Yes. Really."

Come-hither Lucy has made her appearance, folks. Yowza!! The Velvet Voice has traded places, and Lucy is already seducing her man... in the parking lot.

And poor Tim can't even see the way she's looking at him... Like he's whip cream and her tongue can't get enough. Like he's a chai latte and she wants to drink every last drop. Like he's... Okay, you get it. Lucy's got it bad for Tim Bradford and I am here for it!

"My place or yours?"

With doubt out of the way, Tim is wasting no time. And I'm proud of him for it! He is so fully committed to this relationship, and so is she, and it really shows in the confidence they both have.

Let's talk about that for a second. Lucy doesn't look to the future with the guys she dates. She doesn't want labels. She doesn't want to meet the parents. She doesn't invest in the relationship because it's never been worth it before.

Tim is the exception. In the past, it was Tim who didn't want to label their "relationship" (partnership... mentorship), but Lucy has always put a label on it. Even when she blurted out her feelings, she labeled it a "relationship". That was while she was still dating her "work in progress".

Because it's different with Tim. She doesn't want to rush into bed because she wants to savor every second of this. I've said it before, but when you know it's your last anything... you savor it a bit more.

Lucy's already half-joking about grandchildren, and thinking about their future together. She has the confidence that this is built to last—and Tim does, too.

We've talked throughout the series about Lucy's issues with second-guessing, but Tim has his own self-esteem issues. He trusts himself as a cop explicitly, but as a man, far less.

That's why he was so cautious coaching Little League, why he minimizes himself and his wants in relationships. He's so afraid of being his father. He doesn't trust who he is outside of the job.

Lucy has helped him find himself, again. She helped him go after his dreams of Sergeant. She prevented him from sacrificing himself to protect Isabelle. She had his back with the false-fender-bender. I could keep going, but I'll stop.

The broken pieces of a man are almost impossible to put together, but like the Japanese art of Kintsugi, there is a way to mend them into something whole and beautiful. Different from what it was before, but no less complete.

Tim helped Lucy find surety in her decisions, sure, but she helped him find confidence in himself. They balance one another so beautifully, and in the light of one another's love, they're blossoming.

Tim is confident in who he is with Lucy. Lucy is confident in who she is with Tim. There's the promise of forever without the discussion. Because it isn't needed. They both knew as soon as they took this risk, it was all or nothing.

And now, they're taking the next step in their relationship, together.

"Jealous dog or nosy roommate?"

Kojo! Oh, Kojo is going to be so happy that his Mommy and Daddy are finally together. That poor pups been sitting there thinking, "When is the blonde lady who tastes gritty going to leave so I can get Mommy back?" Well, baby boy, your Mommy is coming home.

Just not tonight.

"Tamara knows." "What? You told her?" "No. She has eyes. I didn't have to."

Let's be real. Anybody with eyes (not you, Nolan) knows what's going on here. Tim's been smiley. Lucy and he are now glued to the hip out-of-uniform. He's doing an awful lot of "nothing".

"But she is staying at her friend's tonight. So…"

Suddenly Tamara's knowledge about them is a good thing. "I should go," Tamara once said... No worrying about her walking in on them this time.

And, look, I know some people really wanted to see Tamara catching them. But we already got that in S4 and it was hilariously done.

Not everything has to happen on-camera. Not every item on our wish lists will be fulfilled. And that's okay. This isn't the Chenford show (much as my Metas might suggest otherwise).

That's what fanfics are for! And, believe it or not, I wrote quite a bit back in my college days, mostly for Alias.

We are going to see some gooooooood stuff on-screen, even if we don't get everything we want. So, stick around, eh?

Side Note: It sounds like Eric has a cold! They really mean “the show must go on”. I once did a show with a fever of 102. I knew I wasn’t feeling great but had no idea how bad it was until I got off the stage. Performing’s a funny profession!

Grey whisks in, reminding me I'm supposed to be talking about Chenford and not me. Yikes! Let me get my focus back.

Tim and Lucy need that same splash of cold water because they are looking at one another and Lucy's doing that thing where she presses her lips together while thinking about Tim that is doing things to our boy.

"Mm, this is gonna be awkward. " "It doesn't have to be. We've ridden together hundreds of times." "Never as a couple."

Oooh, we've graduated! First it was "we're dating", then we got the "relationship" mention to Tamara, and now we've got the "couple" label. Nice!

Why am I making such a big deal about this? Lucy doesn't do labels. In that past she did, we know, because she mentions her boyfriends never being good enough for her mother. But with her guys in this show? Nope!

She wanted to keep things casual with Nolan and wouldn't leave her stuff at his place. Emmett was not her boyfriend, as she stated many times. Chris was her "work in progress".

Tim is a labels guy. He likes things to have boxes and labels and organization. His house is very put together and uncluttered.

But I feel like he is taking her lead on this. He knows Lucy. She doesn't do labels. But she does with Tim. Because Tim is the one she's been waiting for... she just didn't know it.

"So, are you telling me you're not gonna be thinking about tonight?" "Not at all. Thank you." "Me, neither."

It's like an un-said bet, except she is totally checking out his ass.

Also, Lucy and Tim opening doors for one another. Wow, is that a metaphor for this episode. Lots of opening and closing doors all over the place.

It started with the elevator with Tim making sure it stayed open and letting Lucy go first. Here, Lucy's the one opening the door for Tim.

Their whole relationship is littered with opening and closing doors. And this entire episode (much as the theme seems to be "judgment" and "the choices we make") is about opening and closing doors.

"I could tell Grey that I got food poisoning." "Just to get out of riding with me?" "I mean, I get the day off. We avoid all this weirdness. Wins all around." "You're overthinking this. We leave our personal life at the door, just like always" "Oh, And you can just shut it off?"

Lucy is the one thinking clearly, here. Look, I love Tim. He's my favorite character (Lucy is a very close second), but he's not facing reality. The reality is—something has to change.

And, oh, that is scary for a person who grew up with instability and clings to what is known and safe. The minute he acknowledges this problem, he won't be able to ignore it, and then they have to face it, and then everything has to change.

"At 7:59, I'm your girlfriend. At 8:01, I'm your, what? Your subordinate?

What. Did. You. Just. SAY!?!?! Lucy Chen, who has resisted calling any of the guys we've seen her date a "boyfriend" just self-identified at Tim Bradford's girlfriend.

I'm gonna need a minute, here. Because, OH MY GOSH IT HAPPENED!

I should save that for later, right? Right.

But, nope, I'm losing it. I'm squeeling into a pillow trying not to alert my kids so they run into the room saying, "Mama, Mama!" and then I miss what's next. Because Lucy bad*ass Chen just called herself Tim Bradford's girlfriend.

They've been dating three weeks! Remember Lucy's initial response to why she didn't love Chris when Tim asked. She said they hadn't been together long.

But everything is different with Tim. And it always will be. They were carved from opposite sides of the same stone, destined to reunite when the time was right. Or, we might take Plato's nod and think of the one being split into two, destined to search for their other halves.

"Really?" *models herself* "My duty belt. My taser is on the wrong side. Usually, you'd be all over me for that."

I admit, I didn't notice. Crap. I'm as in love with her as Tim is!

"You did that on purpose? You don't do Tim Tests. I do Tim Tests." "Well, that's 'cause this isn't a Tim Test. It's a Lucy Lesson. And, admit it, you're taking it easy on me. We're not even on duty, yet, and our dynamic has changed."

Damn, Lucy! Holding him accountable!! But I love Tim blowing air out as she said, "Lucy Lesson". He's so exasperated with his woman.

Lucy taps his arm, and I must applaud her restraint. It's definitely a "on-duty Lucy" touch in that her hand is open and barely connects with his arm. But, she's trying to check him.

"Get in the car." "It's called a Shop."

Much as I hate the point, she's absolutely right. Tim and Lucy on-duty dynamic together has changed. And it has to.

"You haven't noticed?" "What? That you're carrying your coffee in your gun hand? Of course, I did. I just haven't said anything because these Lucy Lessons are pointless." "You really don't think you're treating me differently?"

First off, Lucy's touch lingers, this time. Much as she's telling Tim that their dynamic has changed (and he does need to acknowledge it), she's demonstrating it accidentally as much as on-purpose.

Also, remember Tim barking at Lucy for holding her radio in her gun hand in front of Emmett? And how Lucy was angry at Emmett for making an issue of it, because Tim was technically the in the right?

That's where my brain goes, immediately. He rarely goes soft on her, and she always notices. But now Tim Bradford is f*cking mush around his lady.

Tim wants so badly for this not be an issue. It reminds me of him at the restaurant trying not to react to the two men arguing, hoping that it would go away. If he doesn't acknowledge it, it doesn't have to be faced... but this has to be faced.

"You're not a Rookie. You want to change up your duty belt, carry your coffee in your right hand, it's up to you. You know. This isn't about us. I'd give Thornsen the same leeway."

*cough* BULLSHIT *cough*

"This is robbery. Wait a minute, you had your gun! This is armed robbery." "I'm sure your earrings will come up. We will call you when we have them." "I want a receipt" "We don't issue receipts. Look, it's all in the report. If you want to file a complaint, you can do so at the front desk on your way out." "I didn't take the earrings." "I know."

Tim will never accuse you of stealing, but this is a big deal. And Lucy knows it. Tim knows it, too, but he wants to do whatever he can to save her.

FAST FORWARD: And, let's be clear, after exhausting every avenue, he was going to do it... to report her. But he was going to try everything in his power, first.

"God, I've been so focused on us. Did I screw up?"

Damn. This hits hard. Poor Lucy always does her best to do it by the book, the way Tim taught her. Where did the earrings go? Tim doesn't want to acknowledge it, but you can see how soft his eyes go, immediately. He's worried for her. He's not thinking about the earrings—he's thinking about Lucy.

FAST FORWARD: And, yes, I've seen the whole episode, now, so I know. But... I like to write these as though it's the first time. And the first time, I should have seen that Lucy Lesson coming.

I mean, it was so beautifully set up with Tamara commenting on Lucy's ability to lie so smoothly, and then with the string of Lucy Lessons. I should have seen it coming, but I admit I expected the worst and didn't.

I truly expect ships I love to go through horrible pain and be destroyed. I'm learning to trust The Rookie more as the show goes on, but I have a lot of harnessed distrust there to dislodge.

"We'll keep checking until we find them." "Wait, wait, okay. Look. You need to file a memorandum with the chief. It's protocol. I get it." "We're not there, yet."

Tim is avoiding. He's trying to hard to not have to face it. And Lucy's the one being practical, here. She can see that Tim is treating her differently and she knows it can't be that way.

He doesn't want to face it. He once felt responsible for pushing her towards a serial killer. We saw how unhinged he was, and they were nowhere near this level in their relationship, now. If he is the one to write her up and it tanks her career... He'd blame himself.

"Well, how long can it wait?" "I have discretion with things like this. We find the earrings no paperwork necessary." "But if we don't you need to report me to IA." "Maybe janitorial swept them up."

Lucy can see what Tim is clearly (yes, I used their word) missing, here. But she's trying to let him get their on his own. Talking to him about it was getting nowhere, so she changed tactics.

And I love how this is shot. It's giving me major CSI Grissom/Sara vibes. Flashlights and searching while dealing with tension and romance? Yeah, I've got a type.

But, seriously, there's such simplicity in the matching over-the-shoulder shots of them, on opposite sides of this issue, but still very much in line with one another. I love the symbolism, intentional or not.

"We canceled our date." "What happened?" "Well, Tim and I rode together today and it really drove home all of the problems with dating your boss." "It did seem tricky, but I didn't want to say anything. Does that mean you guys are breaking up?" "No."

No hesitation from Lucy. Look, I love Tamara (and her relationship with Lucy is one of my absolute favorites on the show). But, Tamara's view of relationships is filtered through her own experience.

Come on, all of us filter how we see Tim and Lucy through our own experiences, for better or worse. But those once-in-a-lifetime relationships are different. They change how you see your future because for the first time there is a future with that other person.

Tamara hasn't experienced that herself, yet, and based on what she's seen with Lucy, none of her other guys really stuck.

Tamara's known about this relationship one day, so she doesn't know all the details or struggles Tim and Lucy had getting to this point. There's no going back for Tim and Lucy. It isn't even a consideration.

"We'll figure out how to make it work. " "Great. How?"

This is tricky. This is tough. Tim and Lucy have to figure this out, and do it now. There's no more time to put it off, to pretend it's not an issue, to ignore what they know to be true.

Tim puts the people he loves ahead of everything because they are so few and far between.

He didn't want to coach Little League for two seconds, because just being on that field in that position risked him becoming his father.

We all know that risk is near impossible, but Tim doesn't. As a child of abuse, he's haunted by what he's survived and terrified of becoming it.

He will do whatever he needs to for Lucy... but that doesn't make it right. With Isabelle, he was about to go over that line if not for Lucy. We know he's capable.

And, to be fair to Tim, when there was no other recourse, he was willing to do what was right in this case. He hated it, but he was going to do it. Because he is still the man he was... thanks to Lucy.

"Lucy! Your boyfriend's here."

I love Tim's face on "boyfriend". This is likely the first time he's heard himself called Lucy's boyfriend, and it just makes me giggle every time I see it.

Tim has his hands in his pockets, much as he did the last time he stood outside this door, urging her to go to UC school as she feared he was pushing her away.

"Did she tell you I figured it out on my own? I'd make a great detective." "I have no doubt."

Such an interesting quirk to hear Tim echo those words in that doorway, again. Last time it was to Chris about Lucy's level of care. This time, it's about Tamara.

So, I have to believe that on some level, he means it. And that could be a very interesting turn of events if they ever wanted to take Tamara down the path of becoming "the rookie" since they try to have someone in a "rookie" position each season.

"Hey, I thought we canceled." "Uh, we didn't." "Oh."

Now that Lucy doesn't have to hide from Tamara, she goes in for the hug. And I love the way Tim's head ends up in the crook of her arm. It reminds me of the hug from Breakdown in Season 4.

It's like he's nestling into her. Because, it takes effort for him to bend down to that level. I'm always fascinated watching tall/smol ships and how they handle that.

Tim and Lucy have history to draw from, but I look back at The X Files and I giggle thinking about the "Gilly boxes" they had Gillian Anderson stand on to get them framed well in the same shot. I have wondered a time or two if they'd used them for Chenford. No lie!

But I love how... relaxed Lucy is in front of Tamara knowing that she doesn't have to hide Tim, anymore.

But this is a serious discussion, and they need Tamara to skidaddle. "Go on, kiddo. Mom and Dad need to talk."

"You have to report it, now." "I know." "And if it was Aaron, you would have reported him already." "I know. But it's not Aaron. It's you." "And you can't be objective when it comes to me, right?"

Look at Tim's sad face and the shake of his head. But this is where Lucy needed him to go. He needed to see that he is going to treat her differently, and that's not going to work.

"And now endeth the Lucy lesson." *giggle* "The what?" *giggles*

I love this, "What" Because Eric Winter puts so much into it that I am cackling with laughter.

"The earrings were never missing?" "Nope! I set them aside and I gave them back to Sergio after work." "That's evil. And impressive. And evil."

GIRLFRIEND! I am so proud of you. It's like a productive prank. Yes, she manipulated him, but much like some of the Tim Tests, it was what he needed. Tim helped Lucy become a better cop. She's helping him become a better boyfriend.

Because in this case, what he needs to do is be honest with himself. He can't be objective where she's concerned.

"I know, but you weren't facing the problem." "Okay, well now I am. So what do we do?"

These two are absolutely working together. I stan a couple who communicates. Because he slides that "we" in there so fast. Lucy and Tim are learning how to really communicate and work through issues as a couple, and I love seeing that on my screen.

When my husband and I first married, I came from a family where screaming and name-calling was the norm. He came from a family where conflict was ignored because it was "unpleasant". It took forever for us to learn how to have a productive discussion when we were on opposite sides of an issue.

One of the simple pleasures of The Rookie's track record with ships is getting to watch our favorite couples work together. Jyla and Wopez paved the way for Chenford, in that respect.

"We only have two real options." "Break up or one of us leaves Mid-Wilshire."

First off, I love how they never even entertain the option of breaking up. Because that isn't an option for them. Yes, it technically exists as an option, but it's not one Tim and Lucy will ever consider.

They're in this and neither one is giving up on it. No second guessing. No doubt. Tim and Lucy are completely sure about one another and secure in their relationship.

"It should be me." "No. No, you love it here." "No, I do. But there isn't an open Sergeant supervisor job anywhere else in the division. I checked. Which means you would have to take a demotion and that's not happening."

I love that she talked about it. And that she'd already researched other Sergeant positions. That's our girl! Sorry... Tim's girl.

But right this second, I can see the wheels turning in Tim's mind. Lucy is basing her assumption on what she's seen of him in the past.

She knew before Rachel did that he wasn't leaving LA. She didn't know about Ashley trying to pressure him into retiring, but anyone who knows Tim knows he loves patrol.

Different as this is for Lucy, I don't know if she yet realizes how different it is for him.

"Lucy-" "No, it'll be fine. Rookies leave their first station after making P2 all the time." "That's true." "So, this is the best move, right?" "Maybe, but we don't need to decide right now."

Lucy is ready to commit to this decision, and I love it for her and for Tim. Because Lucy is choosing Tim. Forget her friends, her commute, and her comraderie. In this moment, Lucy has chosen Tim. And what other woman in his life has ever done that?

It's a hard, hard decision either way, but they both are on the same page... something has to give.

And someone better do something, because there's footage all over these cameras of an Officer and Sergeant in love. Like, that could be a problem, too, if they don't get on top of it.

Tim and Lucy's Silent Approach

This is their first time in a dangerous situation together as a couple. Tim's trying to keep it straight, and so is Lucy. They have innocents to protect. This isn't earrings. This is human life.

And Tim and Lucy get the job done.

But was it harder because of their relationship? That's the question, here. Lucy already proved that Tim can't be objective because of her, but now they're looking at the other angle—what if that hadn't happened so perfectly?

"Nice work today." "You, too. It's not a bad way to end our partnership, saving a family."

First off, Tim has really embraced complimenting Lucy. Second, Lucy has fully embraced that they are no longer going to be in the same chain of command after today.

Look at her picking the lint off of his shirt, which was a classic relationship test in the series New Girl. And then she's touching him and

"Yeah, although we're still not partners. I mean, on the job, anyway."

Look at her tapping his arm in a very gentle hit. Because, now they are partners. And her adorable smile that coaxes out his loving one. Oh, these two!

"It's going to be so weird going to a different station knowing I'm not gonna to see you all day." "Yeah. And there's no guarantee that our shifts will sync up." "I hadn't thought of that. Wait. Wait, wait. So by doing the right thing, we're going to see each other a lot less?" "Most likely." "No." "Yeah."

Gosh, this is hard for them. Melissa O'Neil broke my heart with how Lucy delivered, "I hadn't thought of that". Because Lucy is often the one who has thought of everything.

But this is an area Tim knows better, and now that they're facing this reality, it kinda sucks. But note how Lucy doesn't change course. Because, much as it sucks, they both know it's the right thing to do so they can stay together.

"I'm going to put in my transfer request in the morning."

This is heart-breaking. Lucy goes to pull the bags out of the Shop, like she always does, but Tim grabs ahold of the one closest to him, waving for her to give him the other. He's carrying her burdens. And look at the way she smiles at him.

They hate that the status quo is going to have to change for them to be together. But they will be together. And that's worth it.

Meanwhile I'm screaming at the screen, "Swoop in and resign first so she can stay!"

"Got a minute." "Sure."

Well, that was fast! Tim closes the door behind him and takes a seat. He didn't even wait to get into plainclothes to have this discussion because he wants to be sure he gets there before Lucy does.

And, it's so easy to say, "Oh, there's Tim Bradford giving more, again." But he really isn't. He's giving exactly what Lucy was willing to give for him. Only this scenario is actually better for them even if it's worse for him.

Because Tim finally has a partner who gives and takes, who will hold his hand through the heartache, and call him on his bullshit, and be the one to hold him when he deals with the rolling emotions of his father finally passing. Tim finally has the love of his life. And that's worth all of this.

"I've been keeping something from you. Lucy and I started dating a few weeks ago." "I suspected as much."

No surprises here. We've always said that Grey was onto these two. But, I think he was waiting for them to come to him since it wasn't impacting anything, yet, from what he could tell.

"Sir, we wouldn't've lied, but we needed time to figure out how we felt."

Which means we've missed some scenes. Look, I know I was the first person to say that we're not going to get to see everything (and y'all fic writers are on it, I'm sure). But I don't think they needed time to figure out how they felt so much as they wanted to make sure the other was fully on the same page.

After half a season of miscommunication, Tim and Lucy are trying to get on the same page at every step. Lucy's "Lucy Lessons" illustrate that they have a ways to go, but also that she knows how to get through to Tim when needed. They've got this.

"And since we're having this talk, I assume it's serious." "It is, but for it to be appropriate, I need to move out of her chain of command."

First off, "it is." That's it. That's all Tim has to say because he has full confidence in Lucy's love. Have we ever seen him so sure? Have we ever seen him so secure in love that he will shift the course of his entire career? Of course not.

Lucy is his sun. She is "the one" that Grey once said starting over would be worth it for.

And Grey doesn't question that it only took a few weeks of dating for Tim and Lucy to get to that conclusion. He's watched them battle against one another and together. He's seen the dance as they wrestled with what they felt, and he wasn't oblivious when dancing around one another shifted into dancing together.

This isn't a "You're marrying a man you just met" scenario. Tim and Lucy have known one another in so many ways. The typical timelines and steps don't apply. Yes, Tim and Lucy are taking their time, but that's never been for lack of assurance in one another's commitment to this relationship.

And now Tim is doing what he needs to to protect that relationship... to put them first. Not Lucy first, as Tim too often has done in his relationships, minimizing himself. He's putting them first.

Grey doesn't love helping Tim with this because he knows he's losing a great Supervising Sergeant who can hold down the fort when he goes on trips to visit his daughter at University. This is going to create a giant hole in the Chain of Command.

But Grey's going to help Tim, anyway. Because, this is a man of integrity—a man who walked into this office to come clean without prodding, who wants to do the right thing, who has finally finally found love after all his heartache and loss.

Who wouldn't want to help a man like that?

"Okay. Unfortunately, there's only one position open that'll do that." "I'll take it." "It's not a great job." "Doesn't matter. I'll take it."

TIM BRADFORD. See this is what we love about Tim. When he's all-in, he's all-in. Before, it was the job. Now, it's Lucy.

He is walking away from the job he loves to get out of her chain of command and keep her from having to leave. This is such an incredible demonstration of love, and despite the Chenford scene following this one, this is the scene that has me in a choke hold.

Tim doesn't ask for a pay scale. He doesn't ask for a job description. Hell, he doesn't even know what the job is. He sees that it meets what he needs to maintain his and Lucy's integrity and not be separated from the woman he loves. That's it. That's what matters.

Some things matter more.

No, he didn't utter the line. But, he's saying it with his actions. By making this sacrifice, he's showing her that a job will never be more important than her. That his love of patrol is great, but his love of Lucy is greater.

Because, at the end of the day, he doesn't want to see Lucy only on alternating Tuesdays and bank holidays. He wants them to have time together so they can continue to build this relationship. He wants them to build a life together. And that takes time.

So, to give them the time... he takes a step back. Because this is true love, damnit.

"So, I've been thinking, Hollywood division would be kind of ideal."

I love Lucy cooking for her man. Because next time it's Tim's turn. This is something neither of them will ever do out of duty or expectation, but because they both enjoy cooking, and this is an expression of love.

Lucy has a whole meal planned out for Tim. There's salad bowls, an open bottle of wine, plates and placemats.

Second, Lucy's about to give me a Wings-style heart attack with how many candles she's lit (the place burned to the ground while the couple hooked up... it's the only episode of that show I remember).

We knew from end of Season 4 that she likes to light candles like my Dad when he was tipsy during a hurricane (so. many. candles), but last time they weren't actually considering naked time.

"Well, it's not necessary. I talked to Grey, And you're looking at the new Court Liaison Sergeant." "But that's a desk job." "Yeah. Out of your chain of command. "You'll be bored out of your mind."

First off, Lucy knows Tim well enough to know he'd never be satisfied in a desk job. She didn't even consider this job when she looked up available jobs. But he took it without looking at the job description. Because some things matter more.

"That doesn't matter. Look, you and I'll get to see each other every day. And you won't have to travel to some, I don't know, far away station where they'll make you work the midnight shift because you're the newbie."

He has a sound argument. My husband and I worked opposite schedules the first year and a half of our marriage. I worked nights and he worked days. It was awful. Building a marriage when you never seen one another is a struggle I wish upon none.

And at this angle, I FINALLY get to confirm that Tim is wearing a shirt that snaps open and closed. It's not even a button-up. He went for snaps. This man came prepared. Talk about understanding the assignment!

"Tim-" "It's done. Okay. No sense in arguing about it."

This is such a husband move. Like, we all know she was willing to be the one to go, but he jumped in first, and it means they get more time together. "Wins all around", right Lucy?

And Tim and Lucy could argue about it (because they are "worth the effort"), but it's unnecessary. What's done is done.

"But we're so good at arguing."

Lucy, now you are reminding me of the couple with the golf clubs. The horny side, I mean, not the property-destruction side. Because, YOWZA, you knew what you were doing leaning over and kissing him like that, leaving enough room for him to stand up and come to you.

Yes, I know there are pieces of tape on the floor showing them where to stand. Shhhh! I'm in Chenfordland, right now, and I'm going to give Lucy full credit for that move.

Tim slips in his "I know" before kissing her, again, practically murmuring it against her lips.

"I know. But I'm hoping that we're good at certain other things, as well."

Welp. THAT happened. I mean, how the heck am I supposed to get through this scene without taking apart every move of the hand, of the lip, of the eye, of the BELT!? Oy vey, y'all, strap in (heh), because this is gonna take a bit.

First off, Lucy's kiss when he was sitting was definitely a come-hither kiss. She's got her arms wrapped around his shoulders for balance, but also to put a little weight on him. I mean, for all we know she likes it on top, right?

As they stand up, she's already got her hands on his shirt, on his chest. She's telegraphing interest as Tim's right hand takes a trail up her thigh to her waist.

And. Look. At. His. SMILE! Tim Bradford just walked away from patrol to take a desk job, but it's all worth it because he's looking into the eyes of his love, and she's staring back at him. And now they're both ready for this next step.

Tim is glowing in the light of her love. I once likened Lucy to the sun and Tim to a star. Now, technically, a sun is a star, right? And some solar systems have more than one sun. Lucy and Tim are each other's light. Neither has ever felt this secure in a relationship. This alive.

Rachel wanted Tim to move. He didn't. Ashley wanted Tim to retire. He didn't. Chris wanted Lucy to move in. She didn't.

Three weeks in and they're both ready to walk away from the job they love for the other? In the words of How I Met Your Mother, "That's love, bitch."

"Want to find out right now?" "Yeah."

Tim's "yeah" is barely above a whisper, but it's there. I wasn't certain it would be subtitled, but I'm so glad they did!

And I love that they are both on the same page. There's no doubt or confusion about what's about to happen. Lucy invited Tim to cross another threshold with her, and he breathed that sweet "Yeah" that's peppered their conversations since they became a couple.

"Yeah" when she said she wanted to get dinner sometime. "Yeah" when acknowledging they would do the right thing but never see each other. His soft little "Yeah"s are multi-purpose.

But that breathless one just now? Oh, that takes the cake, folks!

Lucy wastes no time with Tim's shirt. Her hands were on his snaps before his mouth met hers. No wasting time, here. She starts with one snap at a time, but at the end it's like popcorn, tearing that shirt open because it is in her way.

And her little sounds as she's undressing him? Girlfriend is gone. (and I can say that, now, because I'm never going to get over Lucy Chen being Tim's girlfriend)

C'mon. When she was wiring him to go undercover as the Hit man she was totally scoping those pecs. And let's not forget Rachel's house where all the man was wearing was a towel. Lucy's seen things. Now she wants to fully appreciate them.

There's a difference between admiring artwork from afar and really getting your hands into the clay on the wheel. Lucy's done looking. It's time to get hands-on.

Tim's left hand goes for her face, but he feels the last button give. She pushes the shirt over his shoulders, and as he pulls the sleeves off, completely, Lucy is all eyes on her man.

And what I love about this is that as Lucy is appreciating every inch of Tim's chest, her hands tracing the V toward his pelvis, his eyes are watching her, drinking her in. Seeing her turned on is turning him on all the more.

Her eyes meet his, and she smiles the most serenely sexy smile. This is everything she ever wanted in a relationship, and tonight is everything she ever wanted in a last "first time".

The second he shakes that shirt lose, his lips are back on hers. Her right hand winds around his back, her other on his face. He has both hands on her face, directing each kiss with the surety Lucy once dreamt.

Tim loves to touch Lucy's face. Like the airplane bathroom and the kiss at the food truck. But this kiss is different. Instead of sweet, this is starving.

Tim is starved from his want of Lucy. Forget the dinner Lucy was making... Tonight Tim and Lucy feast on one another.

Lucy got the engine started, but Tim's the one driving, now. And like her dream of him, she's all the more turned on by him taking the lead.

He's firm, but not aggressive, as he kisses her, drinking in every taste of her mouth like it's his first drink of water after days without. Lucy is the only thing to sate his thirst.

Her hand traces his back before both hands land on his belt. She's pulling him as much as he's pushing her toward the bedroom. They walk in step together, like the hottest four-legged, sandwich-style race. Lucy giggles as they go.

Because sexy as this is, it's also still them. Tim and Lucy are enjoying themselves. And we've learned through the course of this relationship, thus far, that comes with some giggles from Lucy.

No doubt, she's built this up in her mind. They both have. But here in this moment, they aren't second-guessing or wondering. Tim's not standing before her, waiting to see if she's interested. Lucy's not thinking about the past and letting it still her.

In this moment, they are both living, breathing, and craving right now.

Tomorrow, there'll be the jobs, and the logistics, and all the other things to worry about. But in this moment, Tim Bradford and Lucy Chen are carefree save the love they carry for one another.

Every kiss is punctuated by desire fueled by love. There's echos of every other kiss they've shared—but these kisses are like breathing. In this moment, Tim and Lucy are one another's oxygen tanks, and the only way to exchange breath is to share it.

They could bee-line right to the bedroom, but Tim can't help himself. He doesn't want to wait to feel himself pressed fully against her—every curve of her body responding to his.

His right hand reaches for the door frame, so when he pushes Lucy back against it, she doesn't hit her head. In fact, his left hand is cradling her head, so it's his hand that meets his hand.

But she feels every muscle, every part of Tim pressing against her, wanting her, aching for her. With every touch of his bare skin against her skin, his taste on her lips, and his pelvis pressed against hers, her desire grows.

Her left hand winds to his neck, as though she could pull him even closer, somehow merging every part of them before they've even made it to the next layer of clothing discarded.

Tim shifts so his left hand is around her waist as she backs into her bedroom, Tim practically on top of her, not wanting to separate an inch now that he's finally here. He can feel her responding to him, and like her lips, he's growing addicted to that feeling.

Tim pushes the door most of the way closed as Lucy giggles, completely free in the wonder of his love. Locks of Lucy's hair catch the frosted glass as the door slams shut—Lucy no doubt with her back against that door (and possibly lifted up by Tim, judging on the placement of her hair in that window).

Tim Bradford once more forgetting the bed behind him because they're going to break it anyway.

Seriously. I fully expect "Lucy needs a new bed" to be a plot point. Just to see her scrolling options on her phone would be enough for me! That bed is not ready for the action it's gonna see tonight.

I have to say, I love that we can hear the scene. The music isn't overpowering this moment, and for someone like me whose ears hear everything, but can't separate if sounds are too close in decibel or pitch, that made the scene.

Back when they kissed in the airplane bathroom, we could hear the sounds of their lips. But this scene was so much sexier with all of Lucy's hums and gentle moans into his mouth. The music volume was perfect to add to the moment without distracting from it.

Fan Fic Writers... go do your thing!

And to Eric Winter, golly, I hope he wasn't too sick. Listening to how much of a voice he has in each scene and gauging shooting scheduled based on how weak it was was amusing. But, seriously, the job of an actor can be killer. Any job in the industry that involves being on-set, really.

My mom is a hair and makeup artist. She worked on a series in Wilmington in the late 90's where one of the lead actresses and she both had the flu. Didn't matter. They both had to work through. Mom has this photo of the two of them passed out on a couch together between scenes. It makes her smile, now, but it reminds me of how hard it can be.

We think about the glitz and glamor. And while that does exist, the hours alone can be a huge deterrent for any sane person. Creating art takes time, patience, and a crew of folks who sacrifice so much of their personal lives to make it happen.

If it's a good crew, it can become like family. If it's a complicated one, it can be incredibly trying to get through 18+ hour days stuck together, short turnarounds, and Fraturday schedules.

Also, I hope poor Melissa O'Neil didn't get sick from Eric Winter because of this scene. Because, golly, it's a weird job, right? I once did a shoot where I had to make-out with two separate men I'd never met before on the same day (no, it wasn't a porno). Like, you're really getting paid to do this. It's so weird.

Back to the show... There's a line in this episode that Wesley says to Angela that really sticks out for me... kind of the mantra of all the ships of The Rookie "It's not ideal, but we can handle it."

Romance in real life is messy. Too often, I see television shows go one of two ways... full on soap opera or train wreck. There are very few shows I trust with ships, even in hindsight.

The Rookie shows these very real people dealing with very real issues. Kids keeping you on a schedule that prevents you from getting any sleep. Having more kids. Shared calendars. New love and job schedules. All of that is so relatable, and it's so nice to see a show that is committed to showing people work through.

It's a detail that I really appreciate as a real person with real issues.

Anyway, if any of y'all are still alive, I want to thank you for reading. I have so much fun writing these, and the fact that people read and comment and enjoy them still blows me away. Thank you.

See you on the next!"

[tatakaeeren]

GIF Tutorial

Someone asked me how I made my gifs so HD so I decided to write a full step-by-step uuuh babyyy 🎶 tutorial + useful tips on every part of the process.

It is explained in detail, so people with 0% experience can try it for the first time, and the more experienced gif makers can focus on the parts they are interested in 👍 (click on the images to see them bigger)

Disclaimers: I am not a professional, I have learned by trial and error and by watching other amazing creators. I use photoshop CC 2019 in Spanish so some of the names may vary but I tried to use the more accurate English names and used colors as references so even in other languages you can still follow this tutorial.

GIF TUTORIAL STEP BY STEP:

1.-  Open photoshop and create a new project. Then go to “files” 🠲 “import” 🠲 “convert video to frames” 🠲 this will send you to your video folder, and from there select the one you want. TIP 1: try always to download it in the best quality possible (1080p or 720p) so you will end up with “cleaner” HD gifs. 

2.-  When you select your video, then you will have to choose the specific moment or scene you want (you do this by selecting and moving the arrows at the bottom of the image) TIP 2: I usually limit every 2 frames, but if your scene is too short (less than 20 - 25 frames) then I suggest not clicking the limit and leaving it at 0, likewise if your scene has too many frames (over 70) then limit every 3 frames 👍 to make it smaller.

3.- Sometimes when you select your scene, a few extra frames will show up in your timeline, it’s ok, you can delete them by selecting the frames and clicking the trashcan icon at the bottom. Next, don’t forget to change the speed, you do this by selecting all the frames (click the first one then press SHIFT and click the last one, this will select everything), and then click one of the numbers below the image and select “Other”. TIP 3: Usually I use between 0,07 - 0,08 (my fav) - 0,09 from faster to slower. The speed will depend on the gif you are making. TIP 4: If you have PSDs colorings, now it’s time to add them, just click and drag your PSD on top of the image, and remember to make sure it is on top of all the frames and layers ( the ones on the side).  Personally, I do it now, because when I do it later in the process there is always a few frames that won't color.

4.- Now that we have our desired frames, speed, and PSD coloring  (optional), we need to make it easier to keep editing. So we need to click on the little icon with stripes at the top right corner on top of the timeline (the orange square) 🠲 “Convert timeline into video” 🠲 and now you should have one long frame instead of many single ones.

Now let’s do the same with the layers that are on the right (purple circle), once again click the first layer then shift-click on the last one to select everything 🠲 right click on one of the layers 🠲 “convert into a smart object”  🠲 and now all the layers also become one.

5.- What I like to do next is to cut and then resize (you can do it the other way around if you’d like) select the cutting tool on the left side (light blue circle) and then it is up to you to choose which shape do you want (in the purple circle) there are some basic proportions but you can also make your own. 

6.- Now is where all the fun begins. Let’s resize our image so we won’t end up with a giant gif. to do this go to the  “Image” tab on top of the screen 🠲 “image size”

TIP 5: To choose a good size, please keep in mind the standard sizes on Tumblr or other social media. If you are using one gif per row then the size should range between 540px - 560px - or 580px / If you are using 2 gifs per row then the size should be around 268px / and if you have 3 per row then the size should be around 177px. Once you select the appropriate size… this is where it gets tricky. Depending on the gif you are making you will have to select a different option ex: if your gif is too blurry or has lots of movement or grains if they are too dark or too light if the colors are too different, all these factors will determine what you need to use. TIP 6: I usually use only 3: bilineal - bicubic reduction or keep details 2.0 (the names may change in English but look for something along those lines or in the same place as the ones in the image with the green ticks)

7.-  SHARPENING TIME!: go to “Filter” 🠲 “sharpen” 🠲  “smart sharpen”

As I have mentioned before, the amount will depend on the gif you are making, there is no perfect formula for all the gifs, so you need to play around a bit to find the perfect setting for your specific gif. TIP 7: This is what I normally use: amount: between 250 and 300 / Radius: 0,3px - 0,4px or 0,5 (but never over 0,5) / noise: anything between 0 and 50, now if you have a very blurry scene you can go up to 100 👍 and finally select the option “Grussian blur”. 

Tbh I never change the “shadows” and “lighting” settings (they are always 50 -50 -1) If you know how to use them or want to play around, then go for it…. I have no idea how to 🤣 oops. 

8.- BLUR: sometimes the gifs look TOO sharp so we need to add a blur filter. so go to “filter” 🠲 “blur” 🠲 “surface blur” 

then once again, depending on your needs, you can play around with the settings. TIP 8: I normally use 10-6 / 9-4 / 7-4 or 3 / etc. but I never go over 10. 

Also if you are noticing that your gif is still looking a bit blurry or with imperfections, due to the quality of the video, the scene is too complicated, etc. then I recommend adding noise on purpose 🤣 hey! if you can’t fight against the noise then put it on purpose and make the gif with a bit of texture and colors, it will look nice too 👍 go to “filter” 🠲 “noise” and then add the amount you want. 

9.- Now we are almost done, you can leave it like that if you want or you can add some extra steps and play around with the brightness, exposure, color balance, gradients, filters, etc. you can find everything on your right (the yellow circle). Here is up to you to explore and experiment, I never use the same, it changes every gifset I make.   

10.- You can add your watermark, images, texts, paint with the brushes, or do anything else with your gif. but this time I will skip these steps, but if you need extra information about something, please feel free to ask, and I will gladly help you 😊. 

TIP 9: Before you save your gif, please make sure all the things you added are in line with your gif “video frame” 🠲 move the little arrow so it will end perfectly with your gif, if the others are longer, it doesn’t matter, you can move them or you can leave them there, the important thing is that the line is perfectly in line with your gif.

11.- Now there is nothing left to do, it’s finally time to save it for the web. Go to “files” 🠲 “export” 🠲 “save for the web” 

TIP 10: Now you have two options: you can view your gif in the “optimized version” tab where it will show you one option that you can edit. If you select this option then these are the settings I always use, the only option that changes is: using pattern (the gif will have a small invisible “net” that will make the gifs look more uniform, use this especially when the lights or shadows and colors look grainy) or you can use Diffusion (to make it smoother and move flowy)  you can try both and see which one suits your gif best 👍

and then the easier second option is to click the “4 copies” tab on top of the gif, and it will show you 4 different options, then you just select the one you like the best and it’s ready! 

12 .- THE LAST STEP!!!  TIP 11: make sure your final gif is smaller than 10MB (Tumblr's limit) and hit SAVE! and you are ready!! ヾ(≧▽≦*)o 

This is our final result: A sexy Gojo 💙

Thank you for reading, I hope this helped you, and I can wait to see all of your creations! ✨

Feel free to tag me in your gifsets or to ask me any other question in case you need extra information or need me to explain something better 💖

Also, if you are an expert and would like to comment, change or suggest better steps and/or settings, please let me know! so we can all learn and grow 👍

[frickwhat]

I WANT TO DO THE REVIEWS THINGY TOO.

1. MOONLIGHT CHICKEN:

personally i think everyone should give it a watch because it is worth it. would i rewatch it? probably not the whole thing is very heavy for me but i would watch limingheart scenes ,THEY WERE IT. the acting omg, it's so fucking hard to believe that it was their first gig. they showed us their problems individually, like they were their own characters with their own struggles but they also were there for eo. communication was on point. liming had problems, real problems with college and money. he wasn't afraid to stand up for himself the kid's a fucking icon. and he is baby i will protect him forever.

2. NEVER LET ME GO:

the plot could be better, the acting was good but could be more natural, the chemistry BHAI. have i watched it 9 times? yes. the thing that stood out the most was their relationship they met eo and palm was ready to die for him (yes i know it was his job whatever) ??? palm is so in love with neung it's disgusting but so is neung. he hides it with quips and scolding. i read somewhere and they explained that the water shows how free they are on the beach. they can be themselves and no one would judge them. they could forget their status, family expectations and all. they're my beach boyfriends and i love them.

3.BAD BUDDY:

family hates eo so they hate eo? yes. childhood rivalry? yes. enemies to friends to lovers? yes. chemistry? yes. acting natural? yes. pran liked pat bohot pahle se and they showed ki he was reluctant to be with pat. nanon ate this role and left no crumbs. there are so many things i could write but i feel lazy so go and watch it if you haven't (shame on you). they're my slut bfs.

4. MY SCHOOL PRESIDENT:

its actually a close first but idk why it's on fourth (i forgot about it). this show is so fucking wholesome that i cried (yes my friend has proof i hate her) tinn is so green flag babygirl bf. and gun is so dumbass oblivious but not babygirl bf. confessing to my crush? no become the school president and be rivals with him so he will like me. the dance scene has my whole fucking heart and i love it. idek what to say they're idiots and i love them. gun is such a complex character in my opinion. he has layers like we see that he is not very good in school but he has his musical talents and leadership qualities to make up for it. my man is actually very observant and he has the kindest heart. he deserves everything nice and so does tinn. he really was fighting for his life to get gun to like him. i would have given up in two months but that wasn't all. tinn was a really smart character and he knew how to comfort people. ahh i love him but i can't find words. geminifourth played the hell out of this. everyone should give it a watch the storyline is cliche but refreshing too and who doesn't love high school lovers.

5. NOT ME/ BE MY FAVOURITE:

a) not me: the whole premise of the show is genius and important for thai people but like also everywhere. they danced under a fucking lgbt flag and helds hand. i deserve that. the scene makes me cry everytime. sean knowing that it was black not white was nice i am thankful they didn't make him dumb. the show is politically woke so points. i don't really know the political status of thailand so don't come after me. seanwhite are my be gay and fight the government bfs.

b) be my favourite: honestly i wasn't expecting anything from this show but it surprised me. fighting for queer rights? pisaeng coming to terms with his sexuality without his love interest? kawi realising that he can't change some things and he has to accept it? him noticing that he was slowing becoming an alcoholic? max as a tired gay bestie? pisaeng loving every moment of him being a sugar daddy to kawi? kawi making him understand that they have to equals in a relationship? pisaeng being a clingy bf? everything is fucking perfect. and the time travelling part is well done too tho it makes no sense but yeah. also them actually giving pear a personality and storyline? thank you.

special mentions to:

1) the eclipse (my crybaby bfs. they deserve their own posts)

2) my love mix up

[coffeelovesdramasalatte]

LITA Ep. 4 Rewatch Thoughts Pt. 3

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6

Ok Rain, you and I both know you didn't sleep through this honey

Phayu looks unconvinced as well lmao - do you see this eyebrow raise?

Slightly controversial opinion, but I actually love that I occasionally hear fabric rustling and other mic interference. It adds a messy and fun element to the scenes that make them feel more real to me. Here, we heard what is probably Phayu's shirt slide against the mic as he leans into Rain.

The first time I watched this, I had to pause and raise my eyebrows ngl. Supremely unprepared for this relatively simple sequence and in the end highkey felt like I got slapped in the face (but in a funny way).

Boss looks so intense and good here

Taking it from the top

down

down

down

(including this shot bc wow Boss has big hands)

and...

(we just got to the halfway point y'all... whew)

I've never heard of this seduction technique before. Phayu, you might be the only one this works on (I feel seduced but not in a sexy way, more like if I was a cat I'd make biscuits on Rain's tummy)

I don't have a whole lot of commentary on this part aside from they're both adorable and I love the way Phayu likes to drag Rain physically closer to him whenever they talk. I think physical touch is really important to Phayu and I love how Rain basically preens under the attention every time Phayu touches him

I have literally seen this 12 times. Every time I'm like OMFG THEY ARE ABOUT TO KISSSSSSSS

But NO, freaking P' Saifah couldn't wait outside for one more minute. At least he has the decency to give them a countdown do-over. Phayu looks like he considering the merits of ending his twin while Rain is just distressed. I love how they framed these shots of P' Saifah with his body physically dividing the screen between Phayu and Rain's faces which are blurry in the background. This drama uses physical blocking very creatively in my opinion.

P' Saifah I'm going to reach through the nth dimension just to SHAKE YOU I mean seriously how could you not see Phayu and Rain were having a MOMENT

But it does lead to this stellar headpat so I'm not too mad (the 7th one in the series, if I'm not mistaken), plus Rain's praise kink gets activated (seriously, just watch him reminisce about the headpat that just happened)

AHHHH Rain looks SO HAPPY to see that Phayu wrote him a lil note and helped him out - I mean it's no wonder Phayu would bend over backwards just to put that expression on Rain's face from here on out

Including this shot to praise the lighting directors bc it's beautiful, as is our hard at work Rain

I think it could have been really cool if they had Rain use his lucky triangle ruler thing (that Phayu gave him) here, bc that would have been an extra layer of symbolism. I think if they were going to include it as a serendipitous plot point, it would have been better to introduce it this way rather than stick it in a glass case.

GOOD WORK BBY!!! Your reward comes later though

AND the first thing he thinks of after is...

LOOK at him being a responsible student! He's only got two left and then he's doneeeeee (unlike me, I still have so much to do lmao and yet here I am) - (OK I wrote this earlier part two days ago and at the time of writing this sentence I am DONEEE so me *join hands emoji* Rain: done with finals)

My plans for the next 48 hours:

Except this boy gets revived at the thought of seeing his pseudo-bf and runs immediately bolts out of bed 2 seconds later. Ngl if I had a Phayu I'd probably do the same, but since I'm a single pringle it's just me and my clean sheets

Ok, now where have we seen almost this exact color combo before?? Mayhaps you can scroll up a couple pictures...

Basically, I think this is the production crew's way of telling you Rain's about to get smooched by Phayu. Also Rain's changed clothes from the previous scene so he really cleaned up to go to the garage awww

I love that Rain tells himself he should be using this time to sleep, then shrugs at himself and goes to Phayu anyway. Priorities, priorities

Yay, P' Saifah is here to guide Rain to Phayu!! The in-laws are getting a lot of interaction these days hehe. Also look at how eager Rain looks here - full on puppy mode (I met a cockapoo puppy named Molly today so I know my comparison is accurate)

I like that P' Saifah is talking Phayu up to Rain - not that Rain needs any more convincing that Phayu is the coolest mechanic ever. It's the thought that counts though.

For some reason, this shot of Rain and this shot of Phayu make me laugh. Rain's just standing there like some guy when we all know he's thee guy and Phayu is making the "this is so sus" face

The interaction between the three of them right after is so funnyyy - my favorite part is P' Saifah calling his big bro out - this is prime younger sibling behavior. Also Phayu pretending to be a grump - he's just kiss deprived is all (that problem is about to be solved tho)

I also like how I though Rain was going to be the possessive one but Phayu is out here with raised hackles even though P' Saifah is just being friendly to press his buttons (again, prime little sibling behavior). Please observe how pleased Rain looks about this though!

Me + P' Saifah: Phayu you're a SIMP

Ok I like that they included this shot of PhayuRain for no discernable reason (bc it cuts to them walking over to the other part of the garage right after it) other than to show us Phayu looking at Rain fondly with his eyebrows raised

I also love how Rain immediately reports that his work is done (likely so he could get praised) but then Phayu counters with "did you sleep?" to which the answer is no. Rain's like "ahhh we can't win with this one uff" (don't worry bff, your reward is en route)

On to part 4!! I'm hoping it's the last one or none of you are gonna want to read it (this is a lie, there are 5 parts bc I have no self control when it comes to taking screenshots of PhayuRain)

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6

[vegaseatsass]

GAP the Series ep 5 thoughts (spoilers!!)

WANNA SUCK MOUTH !!!

Gonna rush through this post b/c we watched late and I gotta go to bed, but it's still VERY important to me to journal my way through this show, because, wow wow wow WOW, this show, dude.

Wanna suck mouth!!!

Wanna suck mouth.

Seriously though. The mouths, the lips, the lip-biting, the pen-biting, the teeth, the lipssss, the queer lady gaze of it all. Hottest first kiss I've seen maybe ever??, while simultaneously the most joyful and character-specific. Extremely good stuff.

But besides the absolute sexy excellence of all things Lips in the episode, the crux of this week for me was Mon's demand that Sam be direct, stop giving her a headache from trying to interpret all her opaque Sam-isms... and Sam demanding the same thing of Mon. Both because 1) I love the acknowledgment that graceful social butterfly Mon is probably just as confounding to Sam as vice versa - they communicate differently, not unevenly, and there's a point about neurotypical vs. neuroatypical communication to be made here, but basically it's not that either of them isn't trying, with all her smitten might, to understand and make herself understood AND 2) we got so many clear-cut examples throughout the episode of Sam doing the absolute most to be direct, before Mon ever requested it of her. "Some married man 😤 was flirting by sending you stickers? I sent you stickers!!!" "What is your favorite facial feature of mine? Jsyk my favorite of yours is LIPS. Can I BITE THEM." Lol she was pulling out all the stops!! I just feel like for the first time we really see the layer of the relationship where Sam is trying to express her feelings for Mon, trying to shout them from the rooftops even, but she's not being heard, and it isn't solely because she's repressed and socially awkward but because you put "I, your vaunted idol, want to fuck nasty" in Mon's face and Mon will find an "innocent" explanation to hear instead. Idk it's prob too late at night for me to express this well but I just think this show does a lot of really neat nuance work, while remaining impossibly adorable and funny and sexy and entertaining at the same time.

Like I'll try to say this fast but Sam vs. Nop is one of the best dreamiest things I've ever seen fr, and there is so much about how Sam confronted him and tried to set up a chance for Mon to confront him that speaks to what Sam values in communication, and how burdensome and arbitrary she finds social niceties. AND re: nuance work, I loved it because they let Sam make explicit what Nop has been doing, ignoring every single time Mon tells him she's not into him (because she has told him! onscreen!), with an expectation that he can wear her down over time, exploiting the misogynist social role Mon's trapped in. It is so badass that Sam calls that out, it is so badass that the narrative calls that out! I have so much hope and expectation for everything unspoken right now (forbidden workplace romance, fiance?, what Mon's headspace is re: "friends" playing the lip-biting game) because of these sorts of moments. I really believe this series knows what it's doing, has plenty to say and a deft touch when it comes to saying it, and that's exhilarating.

Quick other things: Loved when Sam got jealous of the prawns for stealing her girl's attention. How long before she asks "Would you love me if I was a worm?" and makes herself jealous of Sam the worm...

I just want to do a very clear shout-out to "What is your favorite facial feature of mine? I'll trade you a bite for a bite" as a flirtation strategy. Like I've been calling Sam a disaster lesbian but that is a move.

Laura and I agreed Sam had major Kim Theerapanyakul vibes in the very first scene, showing up to inflict jealous, unnecessary violence against friends, and then yell "Goodbye forever!!!" when questioned on her embarrassing behavior. Luckily for her Mon apparently will always text first :')

I loved Sam's tie necklace. Very sexy.

What other substances can be applied to and then bitten off lips? Let us brainstorm together, tumblr. Ep 1, Ep 2, Ep 3, Ep 4

[dojae-huh]

Just saw the JH "mistreatment" post and it's kinda funny? OP uses "other member" a lot of times but who is the member that has solo debut around the same time with him and has the exact solo date? Why do fans need BTS of photoshoot that much when it has nearly zero promotional value? Not all idol's photoshot has that content too. All the other things can be used universally for all members. The real question here: Who is NOT mistreated by SM if fans consider these thingd mistreatment? I'm okay with fans complaining but at least make it make sense.

Ngl I find it's super funny whenever I see a TYf complaining about "mistreatment" and I'm sure all normal Kpop fans feel the same. Another thing is that Idk why fans like the idea of idols leaving their company that much. How can they be sure the new one will be better? And can they be sure that their idols will receive the same level of treatment?

I had many a post on these two topics.

Complaining, venting is natural. Many people don't really mean what they say. For some, saying stuff out loud (in this case: writing down) helps to get rid of emotions or process them and move on. The problem on X is that one's account is not a small hole with a limited number of readers who know you how it used to be with LiveJournal, Facebook, even Tumblr to a degree. Every cough can be noticed by everwatchful eyes and given big importance.

Secondly, people copy others. Unconciously fans follow "the culture". And even those who normally wouldn't blame or complain, start to be sensitive as well. They are explained in detail how and in what way they should be offended for their bias, heh. Danger! Danger! Have you heard? Have you heard? Your bias is under attack! Hurry! Make haste! Be alarmed and panic! - Oh My God! What happened? Tell me what happened? - Awful things happened! SM didn't post about a future movie release half a year ago! Your bias suffers so much!

Fans project a lot and don't think things through, don't think about the bigger picture. It's very one layer for many. Sometimes it is nesessary to show people working behind the scenes for fans to realise that "huh, there other people than my bias who do work?".

SM is very messy internally, it's poorly organised, the work is not structured well, a lot of miscommunications among departments and responsible people. As I came to understand it is not SM's trait per ser. It is Korean reality. Moving buildings won't change the country. Going to a new company can be a better option for some artists but not for every case.

Fans like to pretend that their idols make themselves. In part it is true. Only those who want things and ask for them, get them in SM. However, it is SM that paid for their education (gave full scholarship with tuition and dormitory covered), debut and promotion (loaned them money for their start up, media coverage, and tolerated losses for several years), in many cases found them brand deals (side gigs in laboratories and institutes) and additional jobs like MC/model (gave them internships in other companies through connections).

Those who enter workforce know that most companies want either graduates from most prestigious unis (fancy diplomas) or 3-5 years of experience. Noone wants to teach a newbie from scratch, cover losses (from lower initial productivity, mistakes, broken things), invest in him both out of greed and in fear of losing the investment (when the employee leaves for another company).

Recently news broke about Hybe approaching and trying to pouch every SM employee from the creative department. Why look for new talents, wait till they mature, gain experience, when you just can buy them by offering higher salaries? Hybe does the same with staffing their groups. They don't raise trainees, don't pay for 4-5 years of vocal and dance lessons, they lure in already talented in something idol wannabees from other companies or areas. Or simply buy new groups (like 17).

Taeyong. Heh. A rose in a glasshouse. He is a rose, he is the one who has talents, but a rose that won't grow outside among weeds and pests.

[lia-land]

Divergent

5/5 stars

*Spoilers for the first book in the Divergent series by Veronica Roth

Controversially, one of my favourite books. It has every single stereotype you’d expect from dystopia, which a lot of people dislike, but it’s fun if you don’t take it too seriously. I found every character to be interesting and it was fast-paced throughout. I love how Tris and Four’s relationship unfolds, and I love them as characters.

It’s not overwhelming with the romance and there are some mature themes that I’ve found I have understood more with age and it’s added a new layer to the characters for me. For example, Tris’s fear of intimacy. I first read Divergent when I was the age that it was marketed to and that never particularly stuck out to me. Rereading has made me appreciate even more how that was another fear that Tris found a way to get through with Four, amongst everything else. Her and Four are a very interesting duo to read about and I liked seeing how they helped each other throughout the book.

The world building is well executed, in my opinion. I could vividly picture every scene and had a very good idea of what the city as a whole was like. There also wasn’t a single character or scene that bored me. At no point did I feel like I wanted to skim over a chapter because I didn’t like the character that it was about or the plot line that was unfolding.

One thing I appreciated a lot during my first read was how Veronica Roth is not afraid to kill a character off. I’m over reading YA books where characters don’t die or they do die and then are revived. Tris seeing her mother die was important for her character and it’s impact in the future books. A big thing in YA is characters who have lost their parent(s), but we don’t see that or their grieving process because it was prior to their story beginning, which is fine but it was a nice change to actually see it unfold during the story here. Additionally, the suicide during initiation was dark but it wasn’t unrealistic and it made it clear how much stress the initiates were under. The whole initiation process was perfectly brutal. The Dauntless are ruthless and it was nice to see evidence of that instead of just being told how ruthless and wild they are, as many other authors that I’ve read in this genre tend to do.

This is one of those books I’ll be rereading every few years. It’s full of tropes, but that doesn’t have to be a bad thing.

[roseclaw]

Twenty questions for fic writers

Thank you to @jaimebluesq for tagging me! :D

1. How many works do you have on AO3? 148 (not including WIPs and drafts) - and I have not imported my old fics from ff.net. Some of those fics are old enough to legally drink in the US.

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

1,166,072 (plus another... 70/80k in my drafts :D I'll be posting a fic every day in December, so head's up!)

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Currently exclusively writing for MDZS/The Untamed

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

No surprise here: Come Go With Me - I'm so happy the world loves my surfer au.

Chad versus the Kissing Booth - This was so fun to write!

Pretty in Pink - HSM wing!fic

First-Time Spark - this is a surprise, because no one comments on it. But it is a canon fic.

Peaches and Cream - XD a 5+1 fic that's all rimming (obviously rated E)

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I try! I am very bad at it sometimes. I'll be flailing at the screen in excitement and can only reply with a "thank you very much" which doesn't seem enough.

6. What is a fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I wrote a first person pov fic where the character dies in battle mid-thought. :D

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

I try to have most of them end happily these days. Or at least hopefully. The world needs more hope.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Not really. I have my ao3 fics locked down to users only. (Lemme know if you need an invite!) But shoutout to that one person who told me they couldn't continue with a fic because A-Yuan was not wangxian's child. Like. He's not their child in canon either? I'm not sure what you were looking for in a fic about JC?

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

All sorts of smut :D Vanilla to kinky. Toys included.

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

My most balls to the wall crossover was CSI: Miami, Stargate, Dr. Who, and Torchwood. :D It was so much fun.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not to my knowledge. I have noticed people picking out aspects of certain fics and using them as their own. I'm okay with that. That's flattering. (Also please write more silverfox!JC) Whereas stealing my words wholesale and having them read by ai on youtube is horrific and I wish a very "please die" on anyone who does that.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Nope. I did receive a comment asking if someone could translate one of my fics into Russian once, but I never heard from them again.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Not a fic, but a series! Slayer'verse with @saekokato

14. What's your all-time favorite ship?

I'm not sure. I have a type, though. Like Rodney/Ronon, Chad/Ryan, Bob/Frank, and JC/NHS. I don't think I even wrote any Rodney/Ronon. Weird.

15. What's a wip you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

Sangcheng cyberpunk bodyguard au. My writing and interpretation of the characters has changed too much since I set it aside. However, I am cautiously optimistic that someday I will finish my winery au. Same with the Miss Fisher au.

16. What are your writing strengths?

Dialogue

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Scene layering

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

Not whole dialogue, but words and phrases. I played around with it in my Tortall/MDZS crossover. But NHS *needs* to say "Da-ge" and JL needs to say "Jiujiu." Period.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Online? It was Gundam Wing.

20. Favorite fic you've written?

I've written a lot of stories, and a lot of the time it's "the next one will be better" but I still love my surfer au. Even though looking back at it, I can see how my writing has changed since. And I really like my western that it's in the middle of posting. It's such a juicy au that I was able to sink my teeth into. But it's not really a fan favorite. Whatcha gonna do.

Tagging: anyone else who'd like to play!

[beingatoaster]

Twenty (Fic) Questions

nabbed from @kidlightnings

1. How many works do you have on AO3? Total, 110 (they are not all on main).

2. What's your total AO3 word count? 881,798

What fandoms do you write for?

Largely Genshin Impact, some Voltron, and then occasional other fandoms now and then.

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Storm Shelter, Child Soldiers, All of Our Secrets, A Study of Love, and A Convenient Facade

Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

On main, I almost always do! I hope it encourages people to comment more (on other peoples' fics as well as mine) and I'm always excited when people tell me they like things I wrote and like to thank them for the compliment! I also secretly always hope it is going to lead to a conversation and/or eventual Friends. :>

On the porn alt... well, I made it a policy when I first created it that I was not required to reply to every comment there, in part because it's not what I'm usually logged in to, and since I have also gotten comments there that make me grateful for that policy.

What is a fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

There is a whole series on the porn alt that is just like 'what if everything was terrible, actually,' in which most of the fics would qualify, especially the second one.

What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Kind of hard to say! I think most of my fics end more happily than not? Even going for 'particularly mushy' I can't narrow it down to less than five, which is more than I want to link, so. XD

Do you get hate on fics?

I have not had any on main! See the question about the comment-response policy in regards to the porn alt (where I also allow myself to delete comments if necessary). In the awkward space in between, I have a series on-main-but-posted-on-anon that has gotten some... interesting responses.

Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

I refer you here to the existence of the porn alt. XD It's pretty much all either kinky or... IDK, I am apparently too ace to write sex for sex's sake, and I'm not sure 'kinky' covers 'there are complex emotional situations here to which the sex is important and yet also incidental,' but, yeah. Kinky mostly covers it, and even if it's in a series so far it's all PWPs.

Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

I haven't written crossovers themselves since my early 2000's fic days, but I do a lot of fusions--all of them are currently isolated on Tumblr, in one place or another. I like to mash any universe I particularly like together with the Sekirei 'winging' system (one group of people can kiss another group of people to give them magic powers and also symbolic but non-functional wings, oh, and also there's an empathic connection and subtle mind control), which I guess could count as 'craziest' but honestly feels to me like what everyone was doing with Loveless when Loveless was big. I just happened to read Sekirei instead of Loveless. XD

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

I don't know but, likewise, have never looked!

Have you ever had a fic translated?

Someone in the Genshin fandom translated Filial Assistance and Lost and Found into Russian once, and I'm still pretty thrilled about it! :D

What's your all-time favorite ship?

Honestly, I don't even know where to start narrowing that down, though TBH it would definitely be for a fandom I haven't written for (since the early 2000s, anyway, if I tried I might end up back on Livejournal). Joke answer: the Normandy. :P

What's a wip you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

There is some D&D OC fic that I refuse to list for this, because someday I will finish them. I swear. I still love them and I want to go back....

In lieu, a style experiment/cumulative writing exercise (in the Genshin Impact fandom) in which, pre-canon, Jean has a sexuality crisis and hooks up with Lisa and Eula, while un-hooking-up with Kaeya, written in 'layers' with everything written from Jean's POV first, then scenes added in from Eula's, then Lisa's, then possibly Kaeya's (though I think if I ever did try to finish it to "publishable" status it honestly might work better with his left out, and another follow-up written later that starts with his POV and layers in reverse, which is a moot point as I genuinely do not expect to "finish" this). It's currently still in the "Jean's POV" stage and as stands can be, and has been, described as "technically this is a Jean/Kaeya breakup story except that the breakup is the least important thing happening here." I keep determinedly having to detach Background Political/Mystery Plot.

What are your writing strengths?

I likewise consider myself good at worldbuilding when I don't get too tedious about it! I've had positive comments on my prose and pacing, which is funny because I know and lean into deep purple with the prose and pacing is one of my biggest struggles, so. XD I can't really say accurately from within!

What are your writing weaknesses?

Pacing is hell and the worst part of revisions and second drafts. I often stuff a whole bunch of stuff I just don't want to write into an eliding paragraph or a hole between scenes and don't always fix that in revision. I'm infinitely distractable and everything takes so much longer than I expect. I struggle very badly to stay concise. I'm sure readers could list others, but those are the ones that ping internally!

Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

Honestly, only something I will do with conlangs. A narrative "[Character] said something in [language]" or an italicized translation both suit me better.

First fandom you wrote for?

Also Pokemon! And I likewise wish I still had the stories. :( The first place where I encountered the concept of fanfiction (instead of writing OCs and situations very similar to whatever books I was reading at the time) was on a Pokemon site, it's also where I published my first fic, and I really badly miss my first fandom friend, who drew me fanart and whom I meant to give a cameo (except that I never wrote past chapter 7 and then the site went down and we lost touch).

Favorite fic you've written?

You make me choose between my 110 (+ the Livejournal-era dozens) children? ;o; But okay, fine. I could pick any of several I'm very pleased with, for various reasons, and the Genshin ones are the most recent and thus probably technically the best, but (leaving out the Livejournal-era fic that I am not going through tonight XD but might contain something), it's Dressed to Suit.

Tagging... anyone who would like to do this! I should've gone to bed half an hour ago and certainly don't have the brainpower to remember who on my dash writes and likes memes about it, but if that includes you, please feel free. :>

[sortasirius]

I knew it was going to be painful, but this episode just gutted me all over again.

Spoilers for TLOU Episode 5

Making Sam deaf was such a powerful choice. It makes him simultaneously more reliant on Henry and makes Henry more fiercely protective of Sam.

The added background was perfect in my opinion, it was just enough to help us learn more about them, while still giving us plenty of opportunity to learn things about them through Joel and Ellie.

"He's scared because you're scared" and then Henry pretending not to be scared for Sam. Yeah. I'm crying again.

And then the "this place is ugly" and Henry pulling out a huge bag of crayons and coloring on the walls with him? This Henry is a lot softer than the Henry in the game (similar to Joel) and I think it works so well, especially because Sam's younger than Sam in the game.

The Super Sam paint

"He always sounds like that, he has an asshole voice" Ellie reading him to filth with a gun to her head LMFAO

Joel giving Sam the piece of paper GOODBYE

Really masterful job teaching the audience the term "collaborator" through Joel, especially since it's world-specific language that isn't in the game.

Sam's laugh <3

The whole thing with Kathleen and refusing to forgive...hmmmmmmmmmm much to think about (cough cough Part 2)

Joel's little head shake when Ellie pulls the gun out of her pocket instead of her backpack...I am obsessed with them.

The entire scene in the tunnels, the way it was straight out of the game was everything to me. The paint on the walls, the goal paint, Savage Starlight, and, of course, the Danny and Ish drawing, and it being an exact replica of the drawing you find in the game.

It is unbelievable to me that they made Henry and Sam's story even sadder. Henry's put in an impossible situation, backed into a corner to either let his brother die of cancer or become a FEDRA informant against the resistance. And he chooses his brother. I can't say I would have done any different.

I also live how they basically told the audience point blank "Every single character in this story is morally grey. Everyone is a villain in someone's story." Hmmmmm excellent setup for a certain Part 2.

I also love how much more vulnerable Henry is in the show than in the game. He's not a hardened survivor, he's a kid who made an impossible choice to save his brother, and he will happily rely on Joel if Joel lets him.

The neighborhood is such a setpiece, my stomach literally dropped when I saw those houses because I knew what was coming.

"Do you trust me?" BYE I LOVE THEM

Combining the bridge and the neighborhood was a great idea.

"Maybe he was supposed to die." Bitch. Maybe your brother was supposed to die. Consider that.

The infected are so much more intense, the way the runners swarm, the way clickers can hear every tiny sound, and then there's the fucking bloater. It's much more frightening than the infected in the game, probably because the game actually had to be beatable lmao.

Ellie is so important to me, I love her so much.

I'm really glad Sam showed her, even though I knew that the blood medicine wouldn't work, I'm glad he didn't have to be alone.

I think that Henry and Sam's death scene in particular was one of the only things in the entire game that I wanted to remain almost exactly the same in the show, and would have been disappointed if there were huge changes. It, to me, remains a triumph in the first game. Their deaths are jarring, completely unexpected, and with no closure, and I think that it had to remain the same.

Neil has said that they would take a look at what they could change and if it felt better, they would change it, and if it didn't, they would leave it alone, and I'm glad they left it alone.

"I'm sorry" on his grave. This adds a really interesting layer to Ellie's journey. She already feels guilty for Tess and (unbeknownst to the tv audience as of now, Riley) but now she feels guilty for Sam too, and that her immunity couldn't save Sam.

There's so much that I love about this episode, but in particular I love how much more richness Lamar and Keivonn brought to already beloved characters. I loved their relationship, and how much softer Henry in particular was, and I loved how Sam looked up to Ellie, how he trusted her with that secret and his fears.

It looks to me like we're going all the way through fall in the next episode, it's going to be painful to wait nine days.

Another absolute triumph of a tv episode, Craig and Neil once again owe me for therapy.