#and how I fell in love with writing
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In Plain Sight
A/N: I wanted to play with the idea of 2 characters falling in love at different points in a story and what that would be like on each side. Idk if I fully captured what I wanted but I liked writing from harry/reader pov like this even though I kept switching partways lol.
Would love to know for inspo purposesâhow do you know youâre falling?
âââââââââââââââ
This is a first, you thought as you and Claire walked into the art galleryâone of your friends had a show of their unique pieces, mixing tech with traditional art. All of it was inspired by their partner, the lead in an indie pop band so to tie it all together they were playing at the gallery while the pieces hung on the walls, rippling with their programmed light and movement.
Take a posh gallery and stitch it with a rave. Thatâs kind of what it looked like in there.
âGuess I didnât need to look so fancy,â Claire says in your ear. You two had spent the last half hour sorting your closets to figure out what was art-show appropriate.
âLetâs find Mimi,â you shout back.
You weave through the crowds, staying on the outskirts and spot her all the way up the front by the stage. You both agree to find her later and opt for a drink instead.
âMaybe Iâll get lucky tonight,â Claire comments as a tall guy brushes by, eyeing the length of her with a smirk before walking away. âMaybe you will.â
âThatâd be nice,â you sigh. You hated being the chronically single one of your friends but thatâs just how it went. Well it went beyond thatâyou felt unlucky in love.
Every relationship you poured yourself into and every relationship failed, just like that.
You were unloveable, maybe. You were lonely, definitely. So youâd take the warmth of a stranger where you could get it.
âI have an idea,â Claire says. âWe dance our way through the crowd, Iâll be your wingwoman and we can make our way through towards Mimi. Youâre so going home with someone tonight.â
You hold your glass up in agreement, youâd learned to just go with Claireâs ideas. Somehow they never worked in your favour, but thatâs what you got for having a best friend that was a smokeshow. It used to bother you, but now in your late 20s after seeing Claire go through men like she went through shoes, it didnât matter. The guys she went for also wanted a fun time like her. You wanted someone in it for the long run.
The men who felt the pull of her magnet were never meant for you anyway.
It felt mature, to think like that.
As Claire pulls you in, you find yourself dancing with male body after male body, hands on parts of you you barely touched yourself. You feel the familiar hollowness of loneliness. It was a constant companion, and yet never made you feel any less lonely.
Across the room stand two guys, they both watch Claire throw her head back and laugh. The purple and blue lights from above dance over her skin, she looked like a muse come to life. Like she was born from this art gallery.
âMate. Sheâs beautiful,â Harry, the taller of the two, comments.
âYou gonna talk to her?â Dylan asks. âBecause if youâre notâŠâ
âGive me a sec,â Harry got stupidly nervous around beautiful women. Which was stupid because he interacted with them on a daily basis, but thatâs probably why he was considered a bit shy by people who met him. Shy was the nice way of saying awkward.
The thing with Harry is that he grew up as a wallflower. But in his mid 20s he started earning the attention of women. Pretty women. He felt like his pot of luck had been filled and then some, and yet he only got lucky on occasion. The problem was he just didnât know what to do with his newfound attractiveness. Even 5 years on.
âThere she goes,â Dylan comments as their muse moves to the bar. âGo on.â
Harry swears under his breath but makes his beeline towards her before anyone else could swoop in.
âHiya,â Harry slides in beside her and then curses. He should have gone for something more suave. âCan I get you something-â
âI already ordered,â she smiles and Harry confirms sheâs more beautiful than any of the crazy art in this room.
âWell itâs on me.â
âThanks,â she takes him in. He tries not to squirm or think about what impression he was making. âIâm Claire.â
âRight. Iâm Harry.â
âNice to meet you Harry.â
âLikewiseâŠSo, erhm, you like dancing?â
She tilts her head, âI do. I was just down there.â
âI know.â Harry says. She raises a brow. Shite. âI mean like I saw you dancing. In the middle. You made it look like a fun time.â
âIt is. Is dancing not fun for you?â She laughs. Her drink arrives and Harry pays for it orders for himself.
âI donât do it a lot.â Harry taps his fingers on the bar. âI like the music part. That make you want to dance.â
She gives him that look. The look that told him heâd tipped the scales too far off to recover. Why couldnât he just explain he made music? And dancing and making music went hand in hand. Why was that so hard to say??
âWell Iâm going back in,â she announces. âFeel free to join.â
And of course he doesnât. Because she would probably inch away from him if he did until the crowd swallowed her away.
âHowâd it go? Make a good impression?â Dylan asks but Harry just downs half his drink and hopes that answers Dylanâs question. Heâd made an impression alright.
Meanwhile, in the middle of the dancefloor you move to the heavy drums. This was one of your favourite songs by this group; it was on replay on your Spotify. The girl beside you grins at you and you both move in sync, shouting the lyrics. Itâs more fun than youâd had with any guy here tonight.
When the band takes their break and a playlist replaces the live music, you try to find Claire. Itâs surprising she doesnât have a bloke already wrapped around her this late into the night.
âThe line to the toilet is stupidly long,â she complains. âI donât feel so good. Can we get air?â
âOf course,â you grip her arm and help her out. The night air is crisp compared to the recycled air inside. You take in a lungful.
âHey,â Claire spots someone she knows and she moves towards them. You trail behind her as she walks up to two blokes smoking off to the side. âI never saw you dancing in there!â
The guy sheâs talking to shrugs, his cheeks taking on a pinkish colour. Heâs cute in a boyish way, but you reckon if he trimmed his hair and grew some scruff, he could be a lot more interesting to gaze at. A face that could hang in this art gallery, a soft pink light shimmering on the highs of his cheekbones.
His eyes clash with yours and you throw a friendly smile and make a conscious effort to join the group. You hadnât heard what was said in the time you were admiring his face.
âI would if I hadnât broken my foot a month ago,â the other guy says. He was a cold good-looking. Sharp features accentuated by a buzzcut. You could imagine him in an avant-garde spread of a magazine.
âExcuses!â Claire teases. She was good at this. âI was telling your friend here how fun dancing was, that he should join.â
âAnd he didnât?! Harry, mate, we all know you dance.â
âNot the right setting.â He replies. Almost mumbles.
âAny setting is the right setting for dancing,â his friend says.
âRight!â Claire latches onto him, you knew her well enough sheâd chosen her prey for tonight. âI feel like dancing is such a good release, any time music comes on my foot just-â
âCanât hold it in right?â The other friend laughs. âMe too. When Iâm on the tube Iâm like how do I get into this without looking like a weirdo.â
Claireâs laugh crackles into the air. You smile, she was going home with him for sure.
You glance at Harry, heâs looking after her like a sad puppy. Youâd seen that look too many timesâdejected.
âI bet you wished you liked dancing more huh?â You tease, quiet so it doesnât travel to the couple.
âHuh?â He looks at you like he just noticed you were standing beside him. âOh. No?â
âRight.â Well this was awkward. âSo youâre Harry. Iâm y/n.â
âOh sorry,â Claire says when she hears your name. âWeâre so rude we just closed ourselves off to these two. This is y/n. and I just learned that this is Dylan.â
âNice to meet you,â Dylan smiles at you. âHarry are you okay if we split?â
Claire looks at you, asking the same question with her eyes. You nod, and she smiles at you gratefully. Her eyes widen and she motions subtly with her head to Harry. You smile like it was a good idea but you know he wasnât an option; he was one of Claireâs castaways. But she was too oblivious for that.
âThen there were two,â you joke, reaching for the familiar line. âAre you going back in?â
âIn there?â He shakes his head. âWe already said our goodbyes. I might just head home.â
âOh okay. Did you know the artist?â
âI donât. Dylanâs cousin is the lead singer in the band? We came by to support the show.â
âThatâs nice.â You respond back even though he didnât return the question. âIâve worked with the artist actuallyâJemima.â
âCool. I take it youâre an artist yourself?â He asks, finally looking at you instead of around you.
âYep. I do photography.â
A group of people exit the show and their noise drowns out whatever Harry was about to say. Without warning, like a valve opened, your chest fills with the ache of a feeling.
What am I doing here, you ask yourself. Youâd come by to support Mimi, but you didnât owe this guy anything. You should go home, do your usual routine of staring at the ceiling, hearing Claire come in late, try to drift to sleep, and then finally doing so.
Sometimes being with others felt more lonely than being alone.
âAnyway, it was nice meeting you Harry. Iâm gonna head home.â
âOh.â He seems surprised. âYouâre leaving for home?â
âWell, yeah?â You shrug. âIâve made my rounds, danced enough to need a gallon of water. My feet are telling me to go home.â
âYou ladies talk about dancing and I feel like I missed out,â he laughs but it comes off kind of awkward and shy. Itâs endearing.
You change your mind thenâyou imagine posing him at 3/4 angle and snapping him from below. Maybe a shot looking through his lashes. Something mysterious yet welcoming. The longer you got to know him, the more he shifted.
âDoes that mean you want to go back in again?â You ask.
âFuck it sure. If you come too. I donât want to dance alone.â
âWhy not? Have you never?â
âDanced alone?â He holds the door open for you and you go in. His energy seems to have shifted. Heâs less awkward, more relaxed, but it still feels like you donât have his full attention. Or maybe that was just your insecurities projected onto a beautiful man.
âI dare you,â you have to tip toe for him to hear you once youâre back in. You use both your hands on his back and guide/push him through the crowd. When you let go you open your arms wide.
He shakes his head and tries to grab your hands but you back away. âDance!â You shout. âLetâs see.â
He laughs, his head weighing backwards like the ceiling could grant him some confidence, the length of his neck glistening with something you wanted to taste.
When he looks at you again you chant to dance and he shrugs away his shyness. Before you know it heâs moving until heâs actually in sync with the beat. You try not to be a creep, sneaking your phone out. He was a complete stranger but god the photo opportunity was perfect.
You manage two before he turns and finds you in the crowd again. He pulls you closer to him, nearly chest to chest.
âI should be a lot more drunk to be doing this.â He says in your ear. Goosebumps erupt down your arms.
Take it easy.
The two of you end up dancing for a few songs, laughing at new moves you put on. It becomes a contest to do a silly but serious move and youâre in stitches by the time the two of you stumble out.
âJeez that was fun,â you lean against the brick fence a few buildings down. You were sweaty and out of breath, your body demanding hydration now.
âI have not done something like that in years. It was nice.â He grins. It feels like a secret. âThank you for pushing me in.â
You felt like you should be thanking him, for the fun and for making you feel included tonight. But of course he ruins it when he opens his mouth next.
âYou can tell your friend Claire I ended up dancing. It was a proper good time.â
âYeah,â you fake a smile, the aching wound reawakening in your chest. âMaybe I will. Iâm headed that way though, Iâll see you around Harry.â
His face falls for a moment, you can see him try to figure out asking you to stay but wondering why youâd gone so cold. You hated how a good looking man could fool you into thinking he could be smart. But this one was as daft as they came.
You wave and turn towards the direction of your station, feeling a bitter chill that wasnât coming from the weather.
***
The next time you see Harry is about a month later. Claire had been seeing Dylanâthey hadnât labelled it according to her so it was still casual. But she felt good about it because he was having a thing at his flat and heâd invited her. So you join Claire since heâd extended the invitation.
âMaybe youâll see his friend Harry.â She sings as you turn the corner to his street.
âI already told you nothing happened that night.â
âMaybe because you went home after having a marvellous dance-off with him!â
âHe kinda got like soggy bread!â You complain. âIf it werenât for me the conversation would have gone stale.â
âSame here. When he spoke to me I mean,â Claire laughs. âDylan did say heâs a bit shy. Just give him another chance.â
âHeâs not interested-â
âYouâre so harsh on yourself. Of course he would be! Heâd be lucky to be with youâŠâ
You let Claire launch into her tirade. Although you appreciated it, it ignored the fact that someone could just not be interested in you. Especially after fancying your friend first.
Dylanâs flat ends up being nicer than you thought, a lot of windows and fancy tech things around.
âJust call her,â you and Claire walk up to Dylan, Harry, and another guy. Dylan seems to be lecturing Harry on something.
âCall who?â Claire asks.
âHey,â Dylan kisses her hello. âThis girl Harry went to uni with. He bumped into her when she was walking her dog. Harry thinks they hit it off, but he refuses to call her!â
âWhy not?!â You and Claire ask. Further proof he wasnât into you.
âWell I friended her on Instagram and sheâs just ignored it!â Harry explains.
âSo? Maybe she doesnât use instagram.â Claire offers.
âShe does. I had Dylan request too and she accepted his.â
âOh?â You notice the pitch change in Claire but nobody else does of course.
âI unfollowed her after,â Dylan says. Or maybe he did hear the change. Smart man.
The friends gathered in the room shift and flow around each other, you lose Claire pretty quickly after the hour mark like you usually did. Eventually itâs you and Harry again, sitting on the couch.
Just like soggy bread, heâs mostly silent with beer in his hand. You get tired of the silence so eventually you slide closer to him.
âSo whatâs with the girl from uni? Do you have history?â
âHuh?â He seems startled out of his thoughts. âOh. Her. No we had a few classes, saw her at parties that sort of thing.â
âBut it seemed promising when you saw her recently?â
âI think so?â
Poor Harry, he couldnât even tell the difference.
âWhat about her number? Or try DM-ing her.â
âI donât wanna be desperate.â
âFine,â you think. âNevermind. Sheâs probably not into you.â
âBut she kept touching my arm,â Harry recalls. âWhy would she touch me if she wasnât interested?â
You look at his physique. It wasnât anything extraordinary but you can see the temptation to touch his arms.
Meanwhile Harry watches you eye him. It was kind of funny to him. He didnât know why Claireâs best friend always remained at the end of the night but she was easy to talk to so he didnât mind. Better than pretending to be interested in whatever Dylanâs tech-bros were talking about.
He hadnât actually seen Dylan in a while. Probably off with Claire, he thinks with a sigh.
âYeah nevermind.â Harry hears you say. Itâs then he realized heâd tuned you out while his brain had been running. And you had taken his sigh as a response to what you were explaining.
The conversation falls flat after that. And when Harry goes for another drink you decline, deciding it was time to head home.
Surprisingly, Harry says he could use the time away and walks you to the station. Claire was spending the night but mostly he just wanted out of the flat. Walking you a few blocks away was a good enough excuse.
***
A few weeks go by before you find yourself alone with Harry again. It was someoneâs birthday, or two peopleâs. You forgot what exactly was the excuse you took to get out of the house. All you had to know was there were people and an open bar.
Again, you started off in a group but couples drifted away until the two of you remained. You had been standing in Harryâs blind spot so when the last couple leaves, he notices it was you.
âHey.â Harry says to you but his eyes look out into the room, even his body faces the crowdâs direction. He should have known you were here after seeing Claire cozy up with Dylan.
It should make you feel shittier but youâre almost used to it. After a week of working from home hunched over your table editing photos for yesterdayâs deadline you would take any social interaction. No matter how stale. Or soggy.
âHey!â You elbow him so he looks at you at least. âIt's been a while hasnât it? Howâs life treating you these days?â
âYeah, it's fine.â
âCool, yeah. Any exciting projects keeping you busy lately orâŠ?â
âNot really. Just the usual keeping me busy right now. Same old routine yâknow.â
âRight, right.â You could feel him slip away again. âYeah. Work can be a drag. Iâm pretty sure I gave myself scoliosis being hunched over for 10 hours a day this week. Iâd rather fold laundry than do that again, and you probably donât know this, but I absolute hate folding laundry. But yeah thatâs my thrilling life. Anything you've been doing in your free time?â
âNah. Just trying to stay on top of work.â
âRight.â He was the busiest man on earth apparently. âSo everyone at the partyâs talking about the new Love Island season. You watch it?â
âNot really into TV these days. Busy with work and all that?â
âRight. You mentioned. I did too.â You nod. âI had a lot of deadlines this week so very busy too. Busy busy. I actually got so stir-crazy I started talking to my plants? It felt silly, but my nan was saying it does help them grow soâŠitâs a win-win. Or maybe itâs the isolation makes you appreciate the little thingsâŠâ
âRight.â Harry nods along. Heâs looked at you twice this whole time. Well, glanced was more like it. And suddenly you want to scream because it was utterly unfair that you only knew him at any of these godforsaken parties. And he never wanted to talk to you, or cared to.
Youâd seen him with Dylan, even with Claire! He was more animated and interested then, even though he stammered through half of it. Was there something wrong with you that put you in gray-scale in this crowd of colourful people?
Youâre not Claire, the stupid voice in your head reminds you.
I didnât need to be Claire, you remind yourself.
âSo what about that girl you fancied?â You try to ask him something he might be interested in; you hated how desperate you were getting for company. âFrom uni? Anything come of that?â
âWhat?â He finally looks at you. âOh her. No she uhm. Well embarrassing but she has a bloke. I misread the whole thing-â
âYou said she was all touchy!â
âYeah she was wasnât she?â He scratches his head. âI dunno, i suppose sheâs always been like that. So yeah, nothing happened there.â
He chuckles like heâs embarrassed, yet the smile brightens his face. It makes you a little more upset and you donât know why.
âMaybe you dodged a bullet. Anyway. Iâm gonna make some rounds. Iâll catch you around-â
âWhat?â He actually turns to you now. âWhy?â
âWhat?!â
âWhy you leaving?â
âIâm not leaving. Iâm just doing a circle. And getting another drink.â
âOh,â his shoulders drop a little. Youâre confused, because he didnât seem interested in having you around at all until you were leaving. âGood.â
âI didnât think youâd miss me if I was gone with your half-ass answers.â You say before you can think. He looks a little stupefied.
âHalf-ass?â
âOr were you just being a whole ass?â
âHuh?â He closes the gap between you again. âI was listening to what you were talking about.â
âYeah. Just listening. It felt like having a conversation with paint while it dried.â
âIâd think thatâs better than houseplants?â
Youâre a bit stunnedâhe had been listening. But still. He wasnât keeping up conversation.
âNow see if you made a joke about it back then it would have been funny. A back-and-forth conversation? Now itâs just a desperate attempt to keep me around. I donât know what for.â
âItâs not desperate,â he argues. âI didnât realize youâre so needy.â
You raise a brow, âI am not needy.â
âI think you are,â he grins and with his full attention on you and that stupidly smarmy grin you feel that pull again. Too bad it was just one-sided.
âIâm not. Iâll prove it by leaving your presence for good tonight. See you next time Harry.â
âDonât be like that,â he calls after you. âAnd I like to keep you around because I thought we were friends!â
Your stride falters as youâre walking away. You werenât expecting him to say that.
But wasnât he just friends because both your friends were dating each other?
What are you even doing here with these people, the thought comes back to you again. The same one that always floated through your mind being in these sorts of places.
If Claire wasnât dating Dylan you wouldnât even be here. God, you needed to hang out with friends other than Claire.
***
You unwrap the belt that ties your coat closed and drop it all to the floor. Well not all, your cameras get let down gently.
Your shoulders ached. And your back and your head and your arms. Jeez.
You had a wedding gig that was paying most of this monthâs rent, so you had to take it. The only thing is your job started at 6am and ended at 8pm. That was more than half a day and you were spent.
âHey youâre home!â Claire waves at you as you pass her. She has her phone held out in front of her face, you hear Dylanâs voice on the other end.
âIs that yn? Hii!â
âHi,â you croak to Dylan. Claire juts her lip out at the sight of you.
âIâve already done dinner,â she says over the top of the screen. âIâm going out with Dylan and some friends later you wanna come?â
You shake your head. She knows what a low battery yn looked like.
âOkay fine. Leftovers are in the fridge for you.â
âGod I love you,â you tell her as you close your bedroom door behind you and collapse into bed.
You liked it when Claire was happy in a relationship, or whatever she called them, but when she wasnât these were the nights sheâd follow you into your room after a big shoot and ask about the details. And youâd complain about the pushy customers eventually moving to how beautiful everything was. She was usually the first person to see your raw images.
But tonight while she talks to Dylan you turn on your humidifier and let the low hushing noise lull you into a relaxing trance. You remember that you only had yourself. That you had to learn to be happy with that, lonely or not.
***
Claire promised to do kitchen duty for the whole week if you came out to Jemimaâs partnerâs gig. And you couldnât deny a week of no dishes or meal prep, so you drag your ass out the door despite riding on 4 hours of sleep for the last few nights. But you met your deadline this afternoon so this was as good of a celebration as any. Even if it was a Thursday night.
âSo you and Dylan are getting serious huh?â You ask Claire on the tube over.
âKinda?â
âItâs been over 3 months. Half the time you were with you know who.â
You-know-who, her one relationship that actually meant something to her. Crashed and burned two years ago.
âNo,â she blushes. âItâs just, heâs pretty great but we donât really talk about labels.â
âMaybe you should.â
âGuys always run when you do.â
Do you want that sort of guy, you want to ask. Instead you shrug, âlet them.â
She rolls her eyes, accustomed to your biting remarks around men.
The gig is electrifying as soon as you arrive. It gets you moving and your sedentary body remembers it has more flex in it than just your wrist. Youâre alive and sweaty a few hours later, happy that you went.
âHey,â Claire says when you drift back to her. âDylan said the drummerâs inviting some friends to the place sheâs staying at. Wanna come?â
âYeah! Letâs go!â You were high on just being out and around people, the loneliness had been kept at bay, and you didnât want to ruin that by going home just yet.
The drummerâs place is the bottom floor of a quaint house near Portobello. Most people are already there by the time you trail in behind Claire and Dylan.
âLook thereâs Harry!â Claire shouts, pointing to the figure that was become too familiar to you. Heâs listening intently to the couple in front of him. Nice to know he could do that.
You flash her a thumbs up. But her and Dylan start walking towards them. Ugh!
You eye the room, thinking you could make a run-in with alcohol instead of Harry but he looks up at the approaching couple and catches your eye. He waves.
Whatever.
The four of you eventually find a quieter room, mostly because there was a hookah circle going on and everyone there was talking in hushed voices. A stark contrast to the volume in the den.
âHey, I wasnât expecting you here.â Harry says when the two of you find yourselves alone again.
âWhy not?â
âYou didnât show the last couple times we all hung out. I thought you were tired of us.â
âMaybe I am.â You raise your brow. âDid you miss me?â
âHey!â Dylan appears in front of you two again before he could answer. âNish is here, I heard.â
âNish?â Harry becomes all fidgety.
âWhoâs Nish?â You have to ask.
âSomeone we know,â Dylan says. You look for Claire and sheâs making her way to you. But before she gets there another body steps towards your group.
âHi! Harry look at youâand Dylan, is it just me or you look more hideous than last time?â The girl cuts in and you take a step back instinctively. The group felt overcrowded.
You watch the two boys hug the new girl, Nish you assume, in greeting.
Claire approaches the group with curiosity.
Introductions are made and Dylan offers to show Nish the drinks.
Then there were three.
âSheâs pretty,â you comment. You know Harry agrees what with how much he resembled a ruler.
âYeah,â he nods stiffly.
âSo were you at the gig Harry?â Claire changes the subject. âIt was amazing.â
âYeah! I was there with Dylan and some friends. Surprised I didnât see you two.â
âWere you dancing?â Claire teases.
âI was,â he blushes. He glances at you. You recall that first night when the two of you had a lot of fun just dancing. âMaybe thatâs why I missed you guys.â
You give a small smile at the in-joke. He looks back to Claire.
You all talk about the gig, and then a little about someone similar Harry was working with.
Eventually Claire wonders aloud where Dylan had gotten to and leaves.
And then there were two.
âI get this feeling somethingâs going to happen,â you say.
âWhat do you mean?â Harry asks.
You shrug, you didnât quite know. The whole night was moving so fast, especially after the gig. You just had a sense you missed something and it was bothering you.
âHave you got a drink yet?â Harry asks.
âNo, maybe I should.â
âMe too. Iâm done mine. I think I want another.â
As you walk down the hall to where it might logically be, you hear a shout. Your stomach drops. Was this it?
âIâm sorry wait!â Someone shouts over the noise. The overall noise dies down a bit quieter. âItâs not what it-â
âFuck off! Iâm done!â
âShite,â you recognized Claireâs voice anywhere. You rush past Harry and towards the voices.
You find Dylan shirtless and holding it against his chest. Nish is a little ways behind him, hair a lot messier than when you last saw her. Buttons undone on her dress.
You notice the lipstick on Dylanâs neck. A colour Claire would never wear.
Everything snaps into place.
You rush to Claire and try to comfort her but she hurls more insults towards Dylan over your shoulder. You manage to get her out of his sight and she fights you too, she was seething with anger.
âHeâs a dick!â She screams. âWhy did I think he was going to be any different oh my god! I shouldnât have let him go alone with her, what was I thinking? Yn! Why didnât you stop me!â
You knew it was all rhetorical. Claire rarely took romantic advice from you.
âHe tried to say we werenât even a couple I-â her voice catches and then comes the tears. You pull her in, familiar with the routine. Next would be feeling sorry for herself, then the anger again, then telling you she needed to be alone. Then a few hours would pass before she crawled back to needing comfort again.
And it happens just so.
âI donât need a mother right now!â Claire says as you convince her to stay with you. To head home. âI just need to clear my head! Iâm sorry okay I just want to be alone!â
And you let her go.
And now you had to kill time.
You find a beer and down it. Someone nearby asks you what the drama was about and you strike up a conversation that ends in them trying to kiss you. Ew.
You wander until you find Harry again. Heâs surprised youâre still here. Asks where Claire was but as you respond one of the girls from the band recognizes Harryâyouâre pretty sure her name is Kate. Soon enough youâre sidelined while they talk about something you knew nothing about.
Well fuck him too, you think miserably.
You grab one of the few remaining cans and head to the back of the house. Past open doors and closed doors. The closed door intrigues you at the end of the hall.
The doorknob is stuck so you wiggle it. Probably locked.
You were tired. God, you were tired of it all.
In a moment of anger you bang your shoulder against the door and magically it opens.
It wasnât locked, just stuck due to age.
Same, you think.
Inside is the smallest room youâve ever seen. The size of 1.5 closets. There looks like a childs bed, the walls are covered in posters, and thereâs a small set of drawers with a guitar resting on top. Itâs cramped but cozy, something about it feels familiar.
You step inside and close the door.
Down goes another beer.
You hope the person who owned the room didnât mind you crashing it. You lay in bed and let out a big sigh. And then another. It felt good. Cleansing.
You listen to the noises outside, people laughing and talking. You think about Claire. About yourself. All of your several issues combined. The dull ache of loneliness starts in your ribcage and spreads out.
The door handle rattles a few times but eventually you realize nobodyâs angry enough to smash it open like you. Most people assumed itâs locked and leave.
Youâre taken by surprise then the door does creak open a smidge.
Distant light travels through to paint a multi-coloured line across the floor and over the bed. You lift your fingers to touch it but it feels like everything else.
âOf course youâre in here; I wondered where you went to.â Harry reveals his face by opening the door wider, poking his head in. It looks like itâs floating and the image almost makes you laugh. Almost.
âWhy?â You ask in your most disinterested voice.
He takes the question, despite it dripping with apathy, as an invitation. The door remains opened a crack, now just with Harry on the inside.
âBecause you disappeared.â
âYou started talking to Kate so I made my exit. Did she go home?â
âNo.â He inches closer after closing the door. You have no idea how he knew exactly where you were and how to get in. With the door closed itâs not so dark that you canât make out his figure. But heâs a shadow in the dark.
âCan you sit or something? Itâs kind of creepy having you hover like that in the dark.â
âSorry,â he laughs and again, he overextends the invitation and lays parallel to you. Heâs close, with the bed being so small. Your ache spreads. âKateâs dancing with another bloke.â
âPoor Harry.â You mock. âEvery pretty lady wants to dance with someone else.â
âI didnât say that.â
âI have this special ability to read between the lines.â
âWell my specialty is reading between the sheets.â
The comment lands like a third person on the bed. Itâs a withering creature a cross between a baby and a calf. He scoops it off with, âsorry. I really donât know where that came from.â
You laugh. It was so silly for something so bold to come out of his mouth.
âItâs fine. I donât think Iâve ever heard you be that bold before. Usually I just watch you fumble around and finish up thoughts inside your head instead of out loud-â
âI do do that donât I?â
âYou said do do,â you giggle.
âVery mature.â
âVery manure.â Your giggles turn into a laugh, somethingâs cracked inside of you and it feels funnier than it probably is.
Harry nudges you with his elbow and it silences your laugh. Itâs abrupt, and he notices. âWhyâd you come in here anyway?â He asks. âI thought youâd be with Claire.â
âWere you looking for her? You could be with Claire now yâknow,â you say. Some part of you knew youâre tipsy and you should shut up but in the darkness your cutting words feel blunted.
âWhatâs that mean?â
âDylan the dickâthatâs his new nickname just fyi. He fumbled the bag. Sheâs free for the taking now.â
âI feel like this violates some sort of girl-code. Shouldnât you be warning me away?â
You scoff, âHarry donât be coy. Everyone knows you tried to get together that first night we all met. You always look at her like a lost puppy.â
âI donât.â
âDo so.â
âWhatâs it to you?â
You shrug. Heâs close enough to feel it.
You were upset tonight. Angry. Angry at Dylan for being another a-hole. Angry at Claire for putting yet another man on a pedestal with all his potential he could never reach. They hadnât labelled themselves for 3 months, what did she expect would happen?
Mostly you were upset at yourself. Because a part of you watched Claire put herself out there over and over, and you were upset that you couldnât do the same. That your shallow bruises compares to Claireâs gashes had kept you locked up in your bedroom.
You admit it to yourself then: you kind of liked Harry. And you totally and absolutely hated it.
Because you watched him watch Claire, fumble his words with every woman you catch him with, push him away just so you donât potentially get hurt. A part of you knows he wouldnât like you like that. He treats you like youâre part of the furniture half the time. Heâs given no indication of the sort. And you just werenât the kind of girl to leave a confession like that hanging. You didnât want a public unrequited crush.
It comes again. The wave of loneliness, the feeling that nobody ever has or ever will understand you. That you were an island with no dock, a house with no door. You were unknowable, and unforgettable.
âWhy donât I ever hear about your relationship exploits?â Harry suddenly asks. You forgot he was there and you startle. âSorry were you falling asleep?â
âNo.â You answer. âAnd becauseâŠbecause Iâm not showy about that sort of thing. And it also doesnât happen as often as you or Claire or Dylan the dick.â
âWow the nameâs really gonna stay.â
âMhm.â
âDo you have a boyfriend now?â
âNope.â
âWhatâs your last actual relationship?â
âA long time ago.â
âMe too.â He sighs. âMy last proper girlfriend was in my early 20s. She moved city. We broke up after that, long-distance is hard. I feel like every year I age, I get worse at talking to women.â
âI can confirm.â
âWell not you. Youâre easy to talk to.â
âThanks,â you say dryly.
âNot like that.â He backtracks, sitting up as if you could see his face. âNo not like that. YouâreâŠnice. To look at. I donât mean that I donât see you as a womenâbecause you are. I see that I uhm-â
âI think youâll have to take back your previous statement.â
His head falls back on his pillow and he laughs, it sounds like heâs choking on air a little.
âJeez, what was that?â He asks once he pulls himself together.
âBeats me,â you say with a smirk.
âIt gets pretty lonely though right.â
You let his statement sit in the dark. You donât agree or disagree. Doing so felt like admitting something vulnerable.
âOr maybe thatâs just me.â He says after a while. âMaybe you have a great life and donât fall in love with every other person you meet.â
âDo you actually?â Your interest was piqued.
âI canât help it. Iâm a musician, I just notice something small about them and suddenly a song is being written about them in my head without even realizing. So I just fall in love with a lot of random people. And I uhm, I donât think Iâve ever admitted that to anyone!â
It was the dark. It was easier to be honest in it. No wonder churches kept their confessions in darkened corners.
You think about all the regular people you fall in love with every time you lift your camera to your face. How every person made you ache; there were whole worlds going on inside of them and you saw it all through the lens.
You wonder briefly if Harry ever wrote a song about you in his head but squash it. He barely took the time to look at you, definitely not long enough to notice you like you did him.
âHereâs my confessionâsame.â You try for the confession-in-the-dark thing. To make him feel better. âAt least when Iâm taking photos or making videos. Some people get camera shy but after talking to them they loosen up and getting to capture their whole essence in a picture or a video I justâŠmakes me fall in love too. I like to imagine what everyone would be like in front of a camera. I dunno.â
âWhat a pair we make.â Harry reaches out and his hand brushes yours. You pull away, hating yourself while you do.
He clears his throat when you reject his bid to be closer, you feel his hand slide back to himself.
Harry didnât know why sometimes it felt like you hated him and other times like you were friends. He just figured he didnât understand women. On any spectrum.
âY/n,â your name is loaded in the dark. You wait for him to continue but the silence stretches out.
âWhat?â You finally ask.
You feel the bed shift and move under you. He was turning. You feel his gaze on you. You turn your head to look back and heâs inches away. Alarms blare in your head, abort abort! But even in the darkness his eyes find some light to reflect.
Harryâs thinking the same thing about you. Somehow itâs dark but when you turn your head to look at him, your eyes twinkle with what little moonlight streams in from the window. Or maybe that was the streetlights. Either way, Harry wonders why it felt like this was the first time heâs ever seen you. How ironic that itâs in the dark too.
It happens without realizing, his mind starts to string together something about the girl laying in his bed shrouded in darkness, with light in her eyes. A girl with secrets-
The bed vibrates.
âOh,â you turn away and take the intimate moment with you. You feel around and find your phone beside you. Claireâs face lights up the screen.
âClaire,â you sit up.
âIâm ready to go home,â Claire sniffles on the other end. âWhere are you?â
âAt the party. Youâre still at the party right?â
âIâm just outside. I got some chips but I couldnât find you so I finished them all.â
You laugh, âLie. I know how you feel about sharing chips donât worry.â
Harry watches you have this conversation. Your laugh finds its way right into his chest. He feels warm.
You look at him and hold your finger up, shimming off the foot of the bed.
âYou bought two!?â You ask after Claire sniffles about how much she emotionally ate tonight.
âItâs your fault! I ate two because I couldnât find you and they were getting cold.â
âWell Iâm coming outside to save you now.â
You put the phone down and look back at Harry. Heâs sat up in the bed and staring at you.
âI gotta go weirdo.â
âYeah,â he says.
âWellâŠI dunno if weâll see each other as much now that-â
âYeah,â he agrees.
âSo good luck? Until next time?â You laugh, but an awkwardness starts to creep in as Harry stays unresponsive and staring on the bed. âUhm. Okay?? ByeâŠâ
You leave Harry as he is. Did he get all weird because Claire was on the phone? Ugh. What a liar, you think. He was still just as obsessed with her.
You feel a little bad for goading him about it earlier but it doesnât linger long. When you see Claire you gather her up in your arms and then the two of you set off arm-in-arm back to your small flat together.
***
âSo whatâs happening with Kate?â Dylan asks. Harry and him are sat at the pub a few weeks later, heâs already moved on from Claire to the girl on his arm. He didnât know how his friend did it, if Harry had a girl like Claire he wouldnât treat her like she was disposable.
But thinking of Claire didnât have that same spark anymore. When he thought about it, she was beautiful and spirited, the kind of woman musicians like him write songs about. But there was someone else on his mind, the kind of woman someone could spend their whole career trying to compartmentalize into songs. Songs turning into albums. Only to find nothing beats her living spirit.
How could he be so dumb, heâd been beating himself up since that night in the dark. Heâd had 3 months of being around her and he never actually looked at her. Always took her for granted. God, even that first night together had been the most fun Harry had had in ages. But heâd just turned her into a friend by proximity.
But weeks gone without her, knowing there was only pure chance of bumping into her, had made Harry a regretful heart.
âHello? Did you scare her off?â Dylan asks.
âNah. Sheâs not my type.â Harry responds.
âHarry I should set you up with one of my mates. Sheâd be perfect for you. Sheâs a teacher andâŠâ
Harry listens to Dylanâs new girl describe a friend Harry couldnât be arsed to go out with. All because he wanted something he couldnât have anymore.
***
Harry runs into Claire at a pub a week later. His hopes soar as high as the sky when he thinks y/n might be here.
âHi! Claire!â Harry awkwardly stops her as she walks past the bar where he sits. He was waiting for a few of his mates to watch the football match with. Dylan was luckily out of town today, otherwise this pub would have itâs roof blown off.
âOh Harry hi,â sheâs friendly. Harry didnât think sheâd be friendly towards him. She leans in for a hug. âHowâve you been?â
âGood! Ehm good yeah just making more music and stuff. You?â
âBetter,â she rolls her eyes. âHowâs Dylan the-â
âIâd rather not be in the middle. If thatâs alright.â Harry says before he can think. He knew what his friend was, he didnât want to talk about him.
âFine.â She crosses her arms. âYeah. Iâm good.â
âWatching the game?â
âSorta. My familyâs down and I know y/n hates the ruckus my brothers make watching the game at home so Iâm sticking them here.â
âOh y/nâs not here?â Harry feels his hope evaporating.
âNo. Whatâs the deal with you and her anyway? Why didnât you everâŠ?â
âY/n?â
âYeah!â
âSheâs not interested in me,â Harry laughs. He was also blind but he doesnât say that.
âI mean, maybe not crazily but if you asked she would have said yes. She didnât hate you.â
âIs that the standard now?â Harry jokes.
âIt is with her,â she smiles with a look in her eye like there was more there. But of course, Harry doesnât push.
âIâŠI dunno. I never thought she would be interested. It never occurred to me.â
âYouâre such a guy,â she scolds. âYou have anyone now or youâre still regularly putting your foot in your mouth?â
Harry flushes. âI donât. And I donât put my foot in my mouth.â
She rolls her eyes but the smile stays on her face. âAnyway, Iâm grabbing the beers. Iâll talk to you later?â
Harry nods, suddenly unable to just ask for y/nâs number. Anything.
But as she walks away he realizes heâd had a whole conversation with Claire without overthinking or being a fumbling idiot once.
He thinks back, to the last couple weeks. He realizes itâs been a while since heâs done it.
Was I finally turning a corner, Harry thinks.
***
You had a gig today filming at a studio. Some indie duo but they were gaining popularity on Tiktok and wanted some bts footage of working in the studio for an upcoming music video. You werenât going to ask questions. It paid decent money so you said yes.
You pull into the parking lot, grateful that Claire had a car you could borrow. It helped lugging around your equipment for videoshoots. Today it was just you as your PA was out sick. It wasnât supposed to be a lot of angles so you figured it would be okay.
You consider the day a win by the time you pack up. The group were much younger than you but very outgoing and it made for a lot of funny and sweet footage. They also had amazing voices, you told them they were going on your playlists once you got home.
Your right hand goes weightless as you walk with your bags down the hall. You turn just as the helper speaks up.
âLooked like you could use a hand.â
âHarry IâŠwhat a surprise hi!â Your mood brightens at the sight of him, despite everything.
âHi,â he shifts the bag in his hand to return your hug. His body is solid and warm. It made no sense but you missed something about him. âHow was your shoot?â
âReally good! I was shooting aâŠwait how did you know?â
âI saw you in there?â
âI didnât see you.â
âYeah I um-â
âYou had nothing to do with this right?â
âAnd if I did?â He meets your eye and you feel out of breath with whatever speaks through them. What was up with that?
âUhmm I owe you a thank you!?!â
Harry offers a small smile, âI was looking at your work a couple weeks back. Youâre really good. I just threw your name out to a few managers if they were looking for someoneâŠâ
Harry looks different with this new information. Or maybe this was a Harry that was actually paying attention to you, it was both intimidating and touching.
âDid I do something wrong?â He asks.
âNo! No, thank you IâŠthatâsâŠIâm grateful. Thank you. Can I get you a drink to say thanks?â
âOkay cuz your face was all scrunched up. I thought you were pissed.â He laughs. âAnd I have some things to finish up-â
âOh right, youâre probably busy-â
âNo no I would love to. Get drinks. With you.â Harry grows more awkward as the air between you crackles with something electric. Maybe, he thought, this is what happens when two people are on the same wavelength.
âOk. Well when do you finish?â
Harry doesnât quite hear your question. His head feels flooded with sand and he canât stop looking at you, right in front of him finally. Why did he never notice your eyes and the way they take him in, your sweetness, the easygoing tilt of your head, or how how disarming your smile was. He chalked it up to being an idiot.
âWait what-â he laughs, feeling the blood flush his face. He was doing that thing again, where his brain stopped thinking in the attention of a pretty girl. âWhatâd you ask?â
âWhen you finish?â You ask, suddenly feeling shy yourself. You can feel the element of nervousness from him and it made this casual moment feel more intense.
âMaybe half hour?â Harry scratches his nose. âAre you heading somewhere now? You can hang out with me and we can go together?â
You thought about getting to see him work, it sounded promising. âSure!â
Harry wipes his palm on his jeans and walks ahead, leading you down the hall and to the right. He opens it to a recording studio, gesturing to the chairs and taking the seat behind all the buttons. You set your things down and stand by the panel, curious what each of the controls did.
Harry glances up at you and you shoot a smile, about to ask if it was okay you watch, but he goes back to work just as quickly.
He was working on something that sounded like a pop song. You try to make out all the layers on the software he was using, it kind of looked the same when you edited a video. But thereâs too many layers to distinguish.
Eventually you sit back down, admiring Harry in his element. Your mind drifts, and you wonder if everything that happened out in the hallway was a figment of your imagination or Harry was being weird with you. Because the thing about Harry being weird meant he was in his head about one thing.
You wonder, like you did every so often, what could have happened that night in the dark the last time you saw him if Claire hadnât called. Harry had looked at you like he had just met youâwith a good curiosity.
But then again, this was the same Harry that probably looked at Claire with the same look.
âDone.â Harry turns in his swivel chair with a grin an hour or so later.
âGreat!â You shake off your thoughts and set your laptop down.
âDid you want to leave your things here?â
âI have a car I can put them in?â
âThe place I was gonna take you to isnât that far from here.â
So you agree, and leave your equipment in the studio. The two of you walk out, talking about what he was working on. He asks you about your shoot today and the conversation carries you to the pub he had picked out.
Conversation starts to fizzle out as you tuck into your booth seat.
âWhat you guys getting today?â The waitress appears almost instantly, it startles you.
You look at the menu and to her. Sheâs got a beautiful face, round cheeks framed by micro bangs and night-black eyebrows that made her look permanently unimpressed. And yet her rosy cheeks and button nose were a friendly addition to the severity of the rest of her.
You glance at Harry, ready for him to be a bumbling idiot around her. He glances at you from the menu when he senses you looking over and for a second you feel the loneliness creep in. Despite the warm smile he sends your way.
âCan we get a few more minutes?â Harry asks her. She pockets her things without another word and walks away.
âWhatâs good here?â You ask to fill the silence.
The two of you go over the menu and by the time the waitress returns youâre ready. You watch Harry ask her questions and place the order, confident and direct. His eyes slide to yours every so often and each time they do you feel your resolve slip a little more.
âWhatâs changed then Harry?â You tease when she leaves. You tease, but you seriously want to know. âI thought youâd be a puddle of words around a woman that gorgeous.â
âHer?â Harry glances back. âI guess. Iâm not such a mess.â
âOh you so are.â You laugh. âYouâre all ums and uhs.â
âIâmâŠfine. Iâm not so bad anymore!â
âYeah so? What happened?â
He looks at you with such a serious look that your smile dies down.
âDrinks,â the waitress places them down on the table, saving the both of you from whatever would have come next.
âThanks,â you tell her and pull the distraction towards you.
âLetâs just say,â Harry says after she leaves. âI gained some perspective.â
You raise an eyebrow, not wanting to push it any more. âOkay.â
For the first time in a while, your nerves overtake the anxious discomfort you usually lived with. Something was definitely happening hereâyou werenât hallucinating. But you werenât sure where it was going, and if you wanted it.
Of course you want it, stop convincing yourself otherwise, you tell yourself.
Why did vulnerability feel like facing mount everest in just your pjs.
âI bumped into Claire a few weeks ago, she seems to be doing well.â Harry says and you canât help but overanalyze for a heartbeat. Heâd brought Claire up after all.
âOh she didnât mention,â you reply.
âShe was with her family? Said you kicked them out of the flat-â
âOh!â You laugh. âYeah her brothers get stupidly rowdy when the footballâs on. This one time I had an interview early the next morning andâthis was before I knew how loud they could get. And I was up. Until 2am nearly to tears! Finally I snapped, they call it the y/n-geddon. Then of course I felt so bad I couldnât sleep for another two hours. Now we just draw boundaries.â
Harry laughs at your story. âSounds scary. Now it makes sense though.â
âBetter for everyone,â you laugh. âBut yeah. Claireâs been good, it was nice her family was down sheâs always more herself when they do.â
Your food arrives and you put the conversation on pause as you tuck in.
âHow about you?â Harry asks. âYour family?â
You tell him about your family and the conversation moves on to moving out, living in the city. It branches out naturally like a tree, and both of you relax into each otherâs company.
It was really nice, you admit to yourself. It felt like talking to an actual person rather than the shell of someone. Which is how it felt like talking to Harry in the past. The only soggy bread was the butty dipped in your soup.
You pay, as you insist it was to thank him for the help. Itâs cooler out when you had back to the studio for your things and thereâs more people out; those free of their office jobs and roaming for a drink to relax into.
The studioâs empty and you head towards your bags, asking Harry if he was heading home too.
âYeah, Iâve been here since 6 so I think Iâm ready to go home.â
âShite thatâs early!â
âDeadlines!â He sighs. âWhat can ya do.â
âCan I give you a ride somewhere at least?â
âIf youâre going in the direction of the station Iâll hop in.â
âYeah sure!â
âGood thing you have a car with all that equipment.â
âYeah my thoughts this morning. But that reminds me of all the footage I have to edit.â You say. âThanks to you.â
âAnytime. Anytime y/n. Iâm gonna keep whispering your name around. Youâll be fully booked soon just watch and see.â
âYou donât have to,â you set your things back on the ground. It didnât seem like Harry was in a hurry to get out.
âI want to,â he replies seriously. The room feels smaller than it did seconds ago, or maybe the awareness of Harryâs proximity tightened the space between you.
âThanks,â you try to meet his eye as you say it but itâs hard to. His gaze strips away any doubt you had; his feelings are written all over his face. All you could think was: Holy Fuck what is this
âItâs my pleasure,â he says which just sucks any remaining oxygen out of the room.
When youâre on autopilot you donât even think, you just go through the motions. Thatâs what it felt like, one second youâre standing opposite Harry. The next youâre standing right in front of him and his lips are on yours.
Maybe you just imagined this scene so much it became repetitive and now thisâkissing him, felt so familiar.
Heâs nothing like the timid and awkward Harry you watch at parties and pubs. Heâs sure of himself, kissing you in the exact way to soothe your past aches; your loneliness is washed away like ocean tides over words etched in the sand. You get lost in it. In him.
You donât know when his hands slide around your waist and pull you in. His lips are soft and gentle. Your mind blanks as the sensation of being held, of his touch, spreads. You donât realize you stop kissing back, just for a second, until he pulls away.
Harry takes a deep breath, face pink and brows furrowed. This felt right, but was he reading it wrong? He did that often.
You take a small step back, needing the space to process. It felt right, better than your imagination, and you couldnât deny the pull you felt to him.
âSo um,â you bite your lip. âYou still want that ride?â
âWhere is it going?â He asks, the tightness in his chest easing a little when you look up at him, head tilted and a nervous expression on. He wasnât reading it wrong. Both of you were just a little overwhelmed.
âAnywhere you want it to. I was thinking it could go home.â
âMmm,â he nods. âHome sounds nice.â
With a smile exchanged, he lifts most of your equipment to the car. You have to take a beat outside the car just to force your brain to go from scrambled to whole so you can manage the drive home. It took every ounce of concentration.
Claireâs not home when you get there and youâre so grateful for that. Firstly, you just wanted to get him back into your bedroom. Secondly, you wanted this just between the two of you. At least for today.
You drop her a text in case, like you two usually did. You tell her you had company over.
The rest of the night can be spent uninterrupted.
You set everything in the living room and take Harry back to your bedroom.
He looks around curiously, taking in the photos on the walls and the things on the dresser.
You watch him, feeling a little exposed. he was looking. Seeing. You. It was different. Good different.
Harry looks at you with a question and you answer by closing the space between you; he reaches his arms out and your body is engulfed by him. Your lips meet, this time less hesitant.
Itâs not long before Harry pulls you towards the bed, falling backwards with you on top of him. You straddle his hips and kiss him like a teenager. You feel his fingers brush your waist and tug at the bottom of your top.
Itâs off in an instant and you try to hide the smile as Harry takes in the sight of you, his eyes filling with awe. He was such a dork. But it made you feel empowered, and seen. You reach for his shirt and he lets you take it off.
When you lean forward again, chests pressed together, his hands find the small of your back. They trace circles there, sending shivers up your spine.
You take the cue and kiss him slowly, rocking your hips against him. He gasps, his hands tightening as you trail kisses along his neck.
The sounds he makes go straight to your core and you feel the familiar flutter that tells you to hurry. You move back, undoing his jeans and helping him slide them off.
âYouâre alright with this?â He breathes into your skin.
Your heart thuds in your ribcage, but mostly from anticipation; you never realized how long you wanted this for. Wanted him.
âOf course,â you pause and so does he. âTook you long enough.â
With a wry smile he covers your mouth with his and soon the two of you find a rhythm that no song could compete with. You find company in someone youâd sworn could never be yours.
Itâs bliss.
***
The sun filters through the window and casts a warm light across your floor.
You were in your own bed, and in the middle of the mattress with a leg thrown over the edge was Harry, sound asleep. Tbe weight of his arm over your waist and the steady sound of his breathing is the proof you needed that this was real. He was real.
The two of you hadn't bothered to get dressed last night. It was an unspoken understanding that this wasnât the end.
You turn onto your side; it was a nice view.
It was a nice morning, actually. The first morning in a while where you not only woke to a warm body, but one that felt like it belonged. That wasnât going anywhere
Claire must be somewhere in the flat, you realize. You hadnât heard her come in.
Harry starts to stir as light fills the room. His eyes squint open and his left hand comes up to cover his face.
You reach over to run your fingers through his hair and he sighs, his face relaxing into a smile.
Harry turns to you, eyes finally open and alert and your heart thumps happily.
There was no need for words.
You snuggle closer and he wraps an arm around you. You bury your face into his neck and breathe in his scent.
He laughs quietly, his chest rumbling under you. You kiss him and he responds in kind.
This time there was no rush.
The morning was warm, and so were you.
5 months later
You get there early, you wanted a moment before the guests to take in your accomplishment. Sure youâd been published on websites and magazines before. Your dream has always been to live forever on an album cover. And youâd finally done it.
The venue was a sparkly room thanks to all the disco balls. They contrasted against the rich fabric and wood beams all over the space.
You take a ton of pictures to send to your friends and family.
You mingle with guests as they come in, trying not to give in too much to the hollowed out feeling that came with a string of strangers and the tiresome small talk. You smile and introduce yourself, you know this was how connections were made. In rooms like this.
You feel him come in as you give in to a second drink. Youâre at the bar, and your eyes lift up to the entrance and thereâs Harry. Your Harry.
Harryâs eyes skim the crowd looking for someone. His someone. No other person mattered until he could locate her. Thatâs how it felt these days. A million faces could blur by but hers was the one he looked for every time.
He sees her. Looking at him. Of course sheâs already spotted him.
You watch as his face splits into an eager smile, his hand raising above his head.
Harry was like fresh lemonade poured into a cup of ice, all of the tiring talks and fake smiles from before vanish as you drink him in. Heâs looking at you, only you. Youâre looking at only him.
âSorry Iâm late,â he says as a greeting.
âThatâs alright,â you peck his lips. âI was just taking a breather.â
âIs the band here? My phone died on the ride so I couldnât check in.â
âI thought I saw one of them somewhere in that crowd,â you point to the right.
Harry had gotten you this gig. It was the third thing heâd helped you get and slowly you were able to take on less and less wedding and marketing jobs and focus on the music industry. It filled your days and nights with passion-fuelled hard work. You loved every second of it.
And when you werenât working, you spent time with Harry. It had been 5 months since you started dating. Neither of you questioned what your labels were. You just knew there was nothing else you two could be.
You teased him a lot, how he took the long way to finally recognize the truth. But he made up for it all the time. He made sure you knew how you were the only one for him.
âThat is one perfect album,â Harry slips his hand around your waist. Your photograph is blown out to a tapestry and hangs in the middle of the space. It was a sophomore album for the band and with their debut a hit, this tapestry was going to be signed and auctioned. Eventually it would sit somewhere, your photograph, coveted as a piece of music history.
âThis is unreal,â you squeeze Harry. âHow amazing is it that we both got to work on this album in our own specialties?â
âA perfect match Iâd say,â he kisses you.
âWhat a pair we make,â you grin.
âI see many more shared projects in our future,â Harry promises.
âIâd like that.â It was one of the things you loved about being with Harry, your creativity and how both of you shared a similar industry at times. It brought you closer together, swapping ideas and stories.
âOne day Iâm going to need album art for the EP I release.â
âOoh yes,â you clutch his arm. Lately Harry has been spending some times with his head in a brand new notebook, he said he was working on his personal project. âI canât wait for that day. I have so many ideas of styling you.â
You had a particular image that sat on your phone from the very first night you met. One where heâs dancing alone in a crowd, red lighting casting half his face in shadow and the other in a vibrant scarlet. His eyes are closed and his brows scrunched as his body flows with movement, even in a still picture. You adored it. It was one of the best photos you ever took.
âMe?â Harry looks down at you. He knew whatever songs he pulled together for an EP would be about you. His rush to write recently were from all the time spent being in your presence. It was intense, it had only been 5 months of dating, but somehow he thought you might understand. âI was thinking the cover art could be the subject of my songs.â
âOh?â You tilt your head.
âYeah,â he smiles. âHow do you feel about self-portraits?â
Your face grows slack as it dawns on you. He had a whole EP in mind, about you.
âWell?â He twitches his hand on your waist, tugging you a little closer.
âSelf-portraits sound a bit lonely,â you will your eyes not to tear up.
âBut you wonât be,â Harry tucks a strand of your hair behind your ear. âYou have me. You wonât ever be lonely.â
âI know,â you feel the emotion catch in your throat as you gaze up into his photographic eyes. You canât explain it but your body feels groundedâmore grounded than itâs ever been. Here in his arms you felt together, like you were a book finally finding a shelf to lean on.
The two of you stand side by side and look at the people this collaborative masterpiece brought together. The room fills with the energy of the music. It was special.
"I love you," Harry reminds you.
"I love you too," you respond.
Your life hadnât change all at once, not really. The biggest thing that changed was Harry. His presence, his attitude, his attentionâit shifted. He wasnât just a guy on the periphery, in proximity. He had you in his sights and he in yours.
You noticed small new things about him, and you wondered if everyone did. He was more confident and present, rooted to and with you. Both of you had bloomed, like caterpillars into butterflies. A pair of butterfliesâyou should tell him that.
Sometimes you thought you were just born lonely, itâs how it always was and has been. With Harry, you felt less lonely. You felt like things could really change for you.
You extend your hand to him and motion to the dance floor. It was a tradition nowâno dance floor would go unmarked by the two of you.
He takes your hand and you lead him there. And with you in his arms he feels set free, like always.
Out of the cocoon and into the embrace of belonging, two butterflies dance in plain sight.
#harry styles fic#writingsfromhome#harry styles x reader#harry styles#harry styles fanfic#harry styles imagine#fic#harry styles angst#harry styles fluff#musician!harry#harry stylesxreader#harry styles one shot#one shot#soft spot for this fic#i loved writing how they fell separately
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Father Mulcahy being a spin the bottle champion is something that's so important to me actually.
#He def got drunk and somehow convinced everyone else at the 4077th to play and then rigged it so he could kiss Hawkeye#Except everyone else kept leaving the game until he and Hawk were the only two playing but Francis was so drunk that he didn't notice#But it didn't really matter bc Hawk was the only one he wanted to kiss anyway#Hawk can take his alcohol way better though and he actually cares about Mulcahy so he probs told him no and just put him to bed#Maybe in the Swamp so he could keep and eye on him#Or maybe he took Francis back to his own tent but Francis just grabbed onto him and wouldn't let go and then immediately fell asleep so#Hawk couldn't escape#Which could go one of several ways in the morning#Depending on things like whether Hawk managed to extract himself or not and how much Mulchay remembers#I'd like to think it ended happily for them though#I'm def thinking too much into this but he just sounded so proud of his spin the bottle skills and it was adorable#I love him#Father Mulcahy#MASH#S10E11: Follies of the Living Concerns of the Dead#This is all Alan Alda's fault how dare he write and direct things (which inevitably all make me go insane)#Hawkahy
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Day 1: How did you get into fanfic?
Hmm. This is a tricky question. Because Iâd never thought Iâd be a fanfic writer to begin with.
Iâve always loved reading and writing. But I think it was in 2017 when I actively started to write.
I remember how I sometimes got annoyed with certain characters that I was reading in books, decisions they made and things they said that had me shaking my head - I then thought if I wrote this character? Yeah thatâs not how my character would react. So I decided to give writing a go. And I love it.
Iâve written some original content that has nothing to do with choices.
Iâve always loved everything that revolves around fantasy books (vampires, werewolves, mermaids and especially Fae đ) Legends and Lore ïżœïżœ I am super fascinated by how their powers and their world work.
And everything that has to do with fairy tales since I grew up with them.
But I remember when choices first came out and I was playing/reading books like The Freshman, Most Wanted and Open Heart. I was so in love with the characters and the world building. I remember I couldnât wait to play the new chapter đ
When Open Heart ended I was curious to see if there is any fancfiction of Open Heart and that led me to Tumblr.
When I first joined tumblr (2021) - I started out as a reader, not really interested or comfortable enough to write least of all post anything - but I got curious and I started writing Luna & Bryce and I fell in love. My world has been growing. Iâve met so many incredible people and written such amazing stories.
Learning to give myself time to write and not to rush if a story doesnât feel right.
Iâve met so many incredible people such as @txemrn @doriopenheart @aallotarenunelma @ofmischiefandmedicine @mysticalgalaxysstuff @mvalentine @inlocusmads @angelasscribbles @karahalloway @takemyopenheart @tveitertotwrites @surrenderronnie1 @storyofmychoices @jerzwriter @cariantha @secretaryunpaid @the-pale-goddess @openheartforeverinmyheart @karahalloway @choicesfanaf @headoverheelsforramsey
(whom I consider friends even though it takes me ages to even know if people like me or consider me a friend - since you know im awkward đ
-)
What was the first fandom you wrote for?
Choices is for now the only fandom I write for. But I might want to extend it to Star Wars (Iâm still a newbie for all things Star Wars đ
) & Supernatural đ
What do you think it was about that fandom that pulled you in?
Apart from the super nice & welcoming people? It was the love for characters and stories that really pulled me in. All the creativity with edits, fics and events that I really adore. And of course all the friendships Iâve made along the way. Meeting people who share the same interests as you? Whether that be good food or the same book or a song? Is pretty rare and I couldnât be more happy or thankful to have met everyone in the choices fandom đ
For the next 30 days, we are going to try something new. The idea comes from a friend on IG (@/jenbeaumontjones) who graciously said we could share it here. We'll post one question a day for the next 30 days. They will center around fanfic writing and the writing process. You can answer in comments or via reblog. We'll keep a running log of all the questions here; you can answer at any time. We hope you'll find this enjoyable!
Day 1: How did you get into fanfic?
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âHave you ever been in love?â
The question seems to take Evan by surprise. âWhat?â
Barty repeats the question, shifting up into a sitting position. His hands dig into the ground, still damp from last nightâs rain. âHave you ever been in love?â
Thereâs a beat of silence. Then, looking down at his feet, Evan quietly answers, âYes.â
Suddenly, Barty is mad at himself for asking. He canât even say why he asked in the first place; he simply had the thought, and being the impulsive person he is, he asked without thinking. Now he wishes he hadnât, if only to have avoided this odd burning in his chest caused by Evanâs answer. And really, he should drop the topic, based on downcast tint to Evanâs response, but he canât seem to let it go. So instead, he presses the issue.
âWhen?â he asks, looking intently at Evan.
At that, Evan looks to his left, purposely avoiding eye contact with Barty. He stubs out his cigarette on the grass next to him, a thin curl of smoke rising up from it as he does so. âA long, long time ago.â His voice is dark with something Barty canât name.
âDid it end well?â
Evan cuts him a look. âWho said it ended?â
At his words, something twists inside Barty. Suddenly thereâs a lump in his throat as he works to get out his next sentence. âWell, you said a long time ago. So I thought that it was a, uh, past thing.â
âYeah. It was a long time ago. When I⊠fell in love.â
Barty knows heâs the one who started this conversation, but he really hates the way Evan says love in reference to some mystery person. At least he used past tense, though, meaning itâs a thing of the past.
âSo what happened?â Barty questions.
âThey didnât want me in the way I wanted them. Still donât want me that way.â Thereâs something bitter in Evanâs tone, and heâs gone back to refusing to look at Barty. In contrast, Barty stares at him intently. He feels as though heâll be able to see through Evanâs exterior and into his insides, where all his secrets are hidden, if he only looks hard enough.
âWho was it?â
âDoes it matter?â Evanâs voice is biting as he sharply turns his head back towards Barty.
âYes. No. I donât know.â Barty leans back onto his elbows, tearing his gaze from Evan. Itâs almost comical how their positions have changed; now, Evan stares at Barty, and Barty looks out over the lake in an effort to avoid his gaze.
âIt was no one important, okay?â
âOh.â Something settles in Barty when he hears that, even if Evanâs tone contrasts with his dismissive words. âThey wereâstill areâan idiot, though. Just for the record.â
Evan laughs in that disbelieving way of his, as if heâs sharing an inside joke with himself. âYeah?â
âYeah,â Barty says definitively. âI mean, youâre perfect. And whoever canât see that is an idiot.â
âPerfect?â
âYup.â Barty means it, too.
âYeah, well,â Evan scoffs, âit isnât good enough for them. So it doesnât matter.â
âWell, youâre good enough for me,â Barty says hotly. âSo donât worry about that idiot. Because you and me? Weâre best friends, and youâll always be good enough for me. You know that, right?â
Evan is avoiding Bartyâs gaze again. He picks at the grass next to him, focusing on that instead. âRight,â he says somewhat bitterly.
âI mean it,â Barty insists. âYou are.â
Evan looks at him, smiling sadly. âThanks, Bee. But itâs getting cold. I think Iâll head back inside if thatâs all right with you.â
âIâokay. Yeah, uh, sure.â
With that, Evan gets up and begins the walk back to the castle. Barty watches him go, thinking their entire exchange over.
Heâs not entirely sure where the conversation went sour enough to get Evan to leave, but clearly something mustâve caused his abrupt departure. Even if Barty had thought he had said the right things to get Evan to cheer up again. He had meant what he said, too; Evan always would be good enough for him. Barty honestly couldnât imagine a better best friend.
So Evan shouldnât, Barty thinks heatedly, have ever been hung up on some random person who couldnât even see how amazing he is.
Barty continues to sit there, close to the shore of the lake, and watches Evanâs retreating form. And as he watches Evan reach up to wipe at his eyes, trying and failing to act like it was nonchalant gesture, he resolves to find out who Evan was talking about. And heâs going to make them, whoever it may be, pay for how they hurt Bartyâs best friend.
#Barty you IDIOT#ugh#also Evan never said that it ended buddy#just that he fell in love a while ago (translation: Evan knows how to dodge questions)#also did u not notice that he kept switching between past and present tense#also Bartyâs repeated insistence that Evan is perfect AS HIS BEST FRIEND#ah my heart#i want to grab Barty by the shoulders and shake some sense into him#i say that as if iâm not the one writing this#btw someone needs to take the angst away from me because iâm having wayy too much fun with it#rosekiller#evan rosier#barty crouch jr#slytherin skittles#marauders era#rosekiller microfic#my microfics
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trial romance
Pairing: Malleus Draconia x gn!reader
Synopsis: since you were going to be put in an arranged marriage anyways, you decided to let yourself experience a normal teenage romance first!
Tags: fluff, slow burn, rent-a-boyfriend mallesu, mutual pining nrc and sra are mixed schools, reader has an elder brother, reader is royalty
Word count: 2.7k+
Notes: woooh sorry for neglecting you mal mal :( i hope this fic makes up for it hehe
Masterlist
You've never really known love.
Born as the second child of a small, but affluent kingdom, you're not sure you have the right to complain. Each day dawns with the assurance of never experiencing hunger, attended to by countless devoted maids catering to your every whim. It's a life of opulence, one that stands in stark contrast to the struggles endured by those grappling with meager wages just to survive.
Still, there remains an ache within you, a yearning for a love that exists in the enchanting tales of old. A love so untainted that it remains steadfast in any circumstance, a love capable of cleansing away all your sorrows, becoming your very reason of existence.
But such a love seems as distant as the stars. After all, you're bound by the responsibilities as the second princess. Unlike your elder brother who inherits the throne, you are a mere pawn in the intricate game of politics, destined for an arranged marriage rather than a fufiling romance.
In a rare display of benevolence, your father granted you a fleeting taste of freedom, sending you off to live under a false identity at the renowned Royal Sword Academy on Sage Island. Three precious years, promising a respite from the constraints of duty, and you promised to seize each moment and savour the life of a normal person who yearned for love.
Which brings you back to the present moment.
"Jellyfish are such fascinating creatures, don't you think so dear?"
The man stands tall beside you, his golden locks catching the ambient blue glow within the aquarium, lending him an almost ethereal air. His emerald eyes fix upon you, awaiting your response.
You return his gaze, captivated by the way the light dances in his eyes. A soft smile graces your lips as you consider his question.
"They are indeed fascinating," you reply, your voice carrying a hint of admiration. "They move with such grace and fluidity, it's like they're dancing through the water."
He hums at your response, fix focus shifting back onto the creatures drifting in the display.
He's a peculiar man, no doubt. It's puzzling to fathom the sort of individual who would boldly advertise their boyfriend rental services on Magicam. Especially someone as strikingly handsome as he appears to be; you would have assumed he'd have no shortage of admirers or suitors.
But you suppose you're not really any better, the person who hired said rentable boyfriend.
Though you're a bit ashamed to admit, you harbor a certain discomfort when it comes to meeting new people. And with your identity as a merchant's daughter, you've had few interactions with your schoolmates, leaving you with a shortage of friends, let alone a romantic relationship.
It was in then that you stumbled upon his listing.
And now, here you are, on your first ever date, exploring an aquarium together.
"Do you mind telling me what dates you're free?" you ask casually as you stroll towards the tropical section, bathed in the vivid hues of exotic marine life.
He trails alongside you, his presence exuding an air of calmness. "Dates...?" he muses, his tone tinged with intrigue. "Ah, you wish to see me another time, I presume?"
You cast your gaze downwards, a hint of bashfulness coloring your cheeks. "Yes... I would like that."
He contemplates for a moment, a hint of concern crossing his features. "Hmm... My fees are quite high you see. Your finances may suffer if you spend too much time with me."
"Hmph. You don't have to be concerned. This money has nowhere else to go anyways," you scoff.
His gaze lingers on you with a hint of curiosity, before a gentle warmth softens his features as he nods. "Very well," he murmurs, his hand reaching out to envelop yours in a tender clasp. With a delicate gesture, he presses a fleeting kiss upon the back of your hand, his voice resonating with anticipation, "I look forward to seeing you more often, my dear."
Aquarium Date â
First Date â
"You seem quite troubled by this book. Is something the matter?" Mal asked, peering over the edge of his book, eyes sparkling with curiosity.
He sat across from you, textbooks and notebooks scattered between you, each page turned with a quiet reverence. The library was bathed in a soft glow, the gentle hum of whispers filling the air like a comforting melody.
You glanced up from your own notes, running a hand through your hair in a gesture of resignation. "I have a test coming up for Magic Analysis, but I always get so overwhelmed with information I forget the details."
"Magic Analysis... Perhaps you're approaching it from the wrong angle," Mal suggested, a thoughtful expression crossing his face. "What if we break it down into smaller, more manageable chunks? We could create a study plan together."
The idea sparked a glimmer of hope within you, the prospect of tackling the daunting material with a structured approach feeling suddenly within reach. "That... actually sounds like a good idea," you admitted, a tentative smile forming on your lips.
"Alright," Mal began, his eyes alight with enthusiasm. "Shall I give you a demonstration?"
There's something to his smile that worries you slightly.
Study Date â
The quaint café bustled with life, the aroma of freshly brewed coffee mingling with the sweet scent of pastries.
Mal's eyes sparkled curiously as he scanned the menu, his fingers tracing the various options with keen interest. "This place is quite charming," he remarked.
You smiled, a flutter of warmth blooming in your chest at his appreciation. "I'm glad you like it. I heard it's one of the best spots in town. Have you decided what to order?"
His brows furrow lightly. "I'm not sure... They all look quite enticing..."
"How about a parfait then? You can choose different flavours of ice cream too," you suggested, gesturing to the other page.
Malleus's gaze followed your gesture, his eyes alight with anticipation. "Ice cream, you say? That sounds delightful," he replied, a spark of childlike excitement dancing in his expression.
You couldn't help but mirror that smile.
Cute Cafe Date â
The night stretched out before you like an endless canvas, painted with a myriad of twinkling stars scattered across the indigo sky. Cradled in the comforting embrace of a soft blanket spread out on the grass, you lay your head gently upon Mal's shoulder, feeling the steady rhythm of his breath as you gaze upwards.
"It's breathtaking..." you murmur softly, your voice barely above a whisper, not wanting to disturb the tranquil stillness of the night.
His hand finds yours, fingers intertwining in a silent gesture of affection. "The sight never fails to captivate me," he responds, his voice tinged with awe. "I'm often reminded of how quickly time passes when I stargaze."
Lifting your head slightly, you steal a glimpse of his face, illuminated by the ethereal glow of the night sky. "Ah... Fae are known for their longevity, aren't they?" you remark, reaching up to tuck a stray lock of his blonde hair behind his pointed ears. "Is that part of the reason why you became a rentable boyfriend?"
He smiles ruefully. "Partly so," he admits. "My mentor suggested it as a means of broadening my perspective and gaining new experiences.
A giggle escapes your lips. What's with that? To think you're doing this for educational purposes..." you tease, though the chill of reality briefly brushes against your thoughts. "I hope you've at least had fun?"
"Absolutely." He envelops both of your hands in his own, his gaze unwaveringly earnest as it locks onto yours. "My dear, I've thoroughly enjoyed every second spent with you,"
A blush tinges your cheeks at his sincerity, and you respond softly, "It's the same for me. I had so much fun when I was with you,"
You find yourself ensnared by the ethereal presence of the man before you, his proximity stirring a flurry of emotions within you. His face, mere inches from your own, is illuminated by the soft glow of the twinkling stars, their light mirrored in the depths of his serene emerald eyes. Your heart quickens its pace, thumping so loudly in your chest that it threatens to drown out his next words.
"...Can I kiss you?"
You feel yourself nod slightly.
He tentatively closes the distance between you, his movements deliberate yet achingly tender. His hand, warm and reassuring, cups your cheek, his touch sending shivers of electricity dancing across your skin. The scent of night blossoms and distant pine trees fills your senses, mingling with the heady anticipation swirling in the air.
The kiss is tender at first, a tentative exploration of each other, as if testing the waters of this newfound intimacy. But soon, a surge of desire courses through you, fueling the passion that blooms between you. You lose yourself in the moment, surrendering to the intoxicating whirlwind of emotions that sweeps you away, leaving you breathless and utterly consumed by him.
The sequence of events that followed remains a hazy blur in your memory, the details shrouded in a fog of uncertainty. All you recall with clarity is Mal's familiar presence beside you as he walked you back to the imposing gates of your school hand-in-hand, just as he'd always done.
Just like clockwork, you retrieved a thick envelope from the depths of your bag, its contents weighing heavily on your mind. "Hold this," you instructed quietly.
He stared curiously at your actions. With a practiced fluidity, you extracted a handful of bills from your wallet.. With unwavering composure, you extended the money towards him, your tone devoid of sentimentality. "This is the bonus for kissing," pressing the bills into his palm.
Leaning forward on tiptoes, you planted a chaste farewell kiss upon his cheek, the gesture a stark contrast to the emotionless exchange that had just transpired. "See you next time," you murmured, before turning away.
Each clack of your heels against the pavement resonated within him like a mournful toll, echoing the hollowness that had taken root in his chest. He watched, transfixed, as the last sliver of your silhouette dissolved into the far distance, the bittersweet echoes of your footsteps fading into the twilight.
Dark, menacing clouds stretched ominously across the vast expanse of the sky, casting an eerie pall over the landscape below. Before you realised it, raindrops cascaded from the heavens in a frensied blur.
Stargazing Dateâ
First Kiss â
The evening air was cool as he led you through the labyrinthine streets of the old city, the cobblestones whispering tales of centuries past beneath your feet. Towering above you, ancient buildings adorned with weathered stone facades loomed like silent sentinels guarding the secrets of bygone eras.
"This way," he beckoned, his voice tinged with excitement as he pulled you along into a narrow alleyway veiled in shadows.
With eager steps, you followed his lead, anticipation coursing through your veins as you delved deeper into the heart of the historic district.
"You know," you mused, breaking the silence as you walked, "when I said you could choose our next date, I never imagined it would involve a trip to the City of Flowers. Have you been here before?"
"I have," he answered. "I was invited here once. There was a magnificent festival here, but I was more interested in the gargoyles."
"The... gargoyles?" you echoed, casting an intrigued glance at the statues that adorned the buildings around you. "There do seem to be quite a few of them."
"They've watched over these buildings for centuries, warding off evil spirits and protecting those within."
"Really? That sounds fascinating," you murmured. "Would you mind telling me more?"
A smile graced his lips, his eyes gleaming with a unbridled glee. "Gladly," he agreed, his voice reverent. "Each one has a story to tell, waiting to be heard by those who seek to listen."
You listened intently as he recounted the legends surrounding these ancient sentinels, his words weaving a captivating narrative that transported you through time. As you continued your exploration of the historic buildings, he regaled you with tales of the city's storied past, his words painting vivid pictures of times long gone.
Somewhere along the line, night had descended like a comforting shroud, cloaking the city in a blanket of darkness. Now, you found yourselves strolling along the tranquil riverbank, the rhythmic lapping of the waves providing a soothing cadence to your thoughts.
Your three years of time is almost up.
Soon, you'd be back in the confines of your childhood room, the familiar walls suffocating with the promise of the same, predictable routine. Then, like a ship launched by an unforgiving wind, you'd be whisked away to wed the spouse your father had chosen, leaving behind your fleeting moments of freedom and the memories far away in your teenage years.
Mal glances sideways at you, noting the unusual quiet that had settled upon you like a shadow. "Is everything alright, my dear?" he inquires, his voice laced with concern.
You pause, grappling with the weight of your impending confession, searching for the right words to convey your thoughts. Finally, you draw in a deep breath, steeling yourself for the revelation to come.
"No... It's not," you confess, your voice faltering slightly as you let go of his hand. "Mal, this... this will be the last time I'm hiring you."
Confusion furrows his brow as he searches your eyes for clarity. "But... why?" he responds, a note of sadness creeping into his tone.
"Because..." you begin, your gaze drifting towards the glistening surface of the river, unable to withstand his earnest gaze. "Because I'm leaving Sage Island. I'll be graduating and returning home, and... and I won't require your services anymore."
"I... see."
A heavy silence descends between you, the weight of your confession hanging in the air like a tangible presence. And as you continued your stroll along the riverbank, the knowledge that this would be your final night together lingered like a bittersweet farewell to the memories you had shared.
His Choice Date â
Breakup â
You've never liked riding in carriages.
With each clop of the horses' hooves, the entire contraption lurched, sending shivers skittering up your spine. It was a waltz of unease, the sway and groan of leather and wood a discordant melody against the cobblestone streets.
The confines of the cramped cabin also felt suffocating, a gilded cage that further severed your connection to your freedom. But the carriage rolled on, carrying you not just through the mountainous terrain, but towards a future you desperately wished to outrun.
Malleus Draconia was your spouse-to-be.
Throughout your school days, whispers of the famed fae prince from Night Raven College echoed in the halls. Tales spun of his unmatched prowess in Spelldrive, where he emerged victorious alone against all teams, his formidable magical abilities casting a long shadow of fear over his opponents. His towering and menacing presence, coupled with the dark horns that crowned his head, only added to the mystique that surrounded him. You could only hope that beneath this formidable exterior lay a heart capable of kindness, granting you the chance for a peaceful existence.
Though, you wouldn't say you could forgive him for having such a similar name to Mal.
As the carriage comes to a halt, the sound of hooves and wheels ceases, accompanied by a palpable sense of anticipation. With the opening of the carriage door, your guards stand at attention, their expressions solemn yet resolute. "Your Highness, we have arrived," one of them announces, his voice carrying the weight of the moment.
With a deep breath, you gather your resolve, steeling yourself for the encounter that awaits beyond the carriage doors.
Just as your foot grazes the carriage step, a gloved hand extends towards you, reaching out towards you with a graceful assurance.. You glance up to meet the gaze of your betrothed, and for a moment, time seems to stand still.
His eyes are a familiar shade of emerald green. A shade that's grown to be your favourite, in fact.
"M-Mal?" you stammer, the name escaping your lips before you can stop it.
"It's lovely to see you again, my dear," he smiles, as radiant as the sun.
Masterlist
if you liked this post, don't forget to reblog!
#lilia definitely saw what teens were doing and asked malleus to become a rentable bf#âgood learning experiencesâ he just wanted mal to meet more ppl and hopefully fall in love#and fell he did :)#he helps mal to disguise hiss identity by making his hair blond and his horns temporarily invisible#but his eyes remain the same#since eyes are the windows to your soul hehe#if ppl like this fic i might write a short bonus where it's lilia lecturing mal how to act like a good boyfriend hahaha#twstnexus#twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland x reader#twst imagines#malleus draconia#malleus draconia x reader#twisted wonderland malleus#twst malleus#twst malleus x reader
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I really love it when you talk about your wife. I would love to love someone that much one day.
some random wife things from this week:
she got new shoes that sheâs really excited about and she looks so cute in them
weather was finally chilly enough for prolonged cuddling and man is there anything cozier than an extra blanket on the bed and my wifeâs arms around me
she tried coffee from multiple new spots this week and i got to steal a sip every time
you ever see your hot jock wife in autumn flannelâŠyou ever see your hot jock wife in a scarf and jacket and stompy boots.,,
in the middle of some travel (stressful edition) i said something like âyouâre so nice to me, thank you for being so nice to me.â and she immediately said âof course. i like being nice to you, itâs easy.â sheâs nice to me every single day, but itâs especially precious to me when i feel like iâm at my worst (inhabiting my airportsona).
last night while she was cooking dinner i went and caught her eye and looked pointedly at the mixing bowl she was stirring, and she just gave me a đ face. didnât even take off her headphones. marry someone with whom you can telepathically communicate the âthatâs what good pussy sounds likeâ vine at any moment.
#i am very lucky to love and have been loved deeply and in many forms so far in my life#but when it comes to romantic love i am always in awe at how i get to have this#i used to feel like there was a glass wall between me and the feelings i thought i should have/wanted to have in romantic relationships#and then i fell in love with my wife and that glass wall is nowhere to be found#i could write an essay in the tags about that specifically but#tl;dr i donât necessarily believe in soulmates or there being One Perfect Person for everyone BUT however this works i am so lucky i met he#etc#asks#fer wifeposting
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I'm not home rn so just some sketches I saved yesterday after the stream not all of them
Was in a bad mood yesterday to post them.... Or clean them, or anything really
Meh
#fanart#sketch#my art#isat#isat siffrin#isat spoilers#isat loop#isat fanart#in stars and time#two hats spoilers#Siffrin#Loop#halloween#halloween sketch#I'm still thinking how to make Loop a ghost but this idea was good enough on a stream when I was super anxious about the whole thing#Never repeating this again.#My mood fell down so fast it felt awful#I'm good now! On my way home in a car downloaded star rail update genshin update and even honkai update#yayyy#Anyway vampire Siffrin and Ghost Loop live in my head rent free#Thinking of my animatic thing tho#Like actually thinking the way it'll actually work#Love it#Those sketches are messy as hell#I feel dizzy from writing on a moving car ooops
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the summer after finishing university in New York, Marinette gets invited to a camping trip with Alya and Nino and his best friend. which, honestly, is for the best. at least she has more time than the four years she's already had to figure out how to reach out to her one-time superhero partner, with whom she fell out of touch after the reveal.
only, it's Adrien Agreste waiting for them on the meeting point, beaming so hard at her that it's blatantly obvious they know each other well. in her panic, what is Marinette supposed to tell Alya and Nino to protect their identites, if not that they used to date?
(fake exes AU x there was only one tent)
#miraculous ladybug#writing prompt#ladynoir#adrinette#if you thought fake-dating was ridiculous enough get ready for: fake exes!!#Adrien is sunshine. his lady!! he's so happy to see her again!!! but also she did kind of ghost him for years is she mad at him?#Marinette is dying inside. maybe this would be easier if she ever fell out of love with Chat Noir and not just dated for sport during her B#Alya doesn't understand how could her best friend hide a relationship all throughout highschool but she wants to know all about it!#Nino's pretty sure Adrien is still in love with Nette which makes everything so much more complicated. couldn't they just stargaze in peace#I'm clearly having a lot of thoughts about it but I also do not think this is getting written unfortunately#poor boy sitting in my drafts for a year now. someone liberate him!!
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I am always thinking about the dark island trilogy journal entry things Wu writes and how much he genuinely adores all the people he cares about. He writes so fondly and lovingly about Misako and Lloyd and all the ninja and and and augh This bad boy can fit so much love in him
#I get so emotional when I think about how much they all mean to him#And how much he means to them#Literally in tears writing this hope you know. I love him so much#He was there for them all at their lowest he gave them the support they needed and they all found family in each other because of it#11 minute era will always hold a special place in my heart#For the sheer fact that it gives a lot of focus to Wu and his bond with the ninja individually#Maybe not with all of them but still#I could go on whole rants about his relationship with individual ninja they're everything to him#The thing he said in DR about how he was lonely for so long after Garmadon fell. But once he found them he's become much happier#Im sick.#wu#wu ninjago#master wu#ninjago#lego ninjago
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brain will not let me sleep until I say
same age padawans au where theyâve been in a weird wired frenemies thing for ages but now that theyâre both mature adults (all of 24/25 years old) theyâre more friends than enemiesâŠ.
And itâs Obi-Wan that Anakin tells when heâs decided heâs going to leave the Order, not anyone else. He has a wife. There was a pregnancy scare a few weeks ago and it made her want their relationship to stop being a secret so they could really have kids. He has to leave the Order. Doesnât Obi-Wan understand?
Obi-Wan, who has been a little in love with Anakin since they were younglings, does not understand. Not one bit. Instead of wishing him well and helping him pack, he goes to the Council and requests a mission in the Outer RimâŠ.perhaps a month long or moreâŠperhaps undercover? No contact with anyone on Coruscant. And maybe they could assign Anakin Skywalker as his back up? He can help with the undercover aspect.
And at first, Anakin is pissed because he was planning to resign from the Order in the next few days, but Obi-Wan convinces him to go on this mission with himâŠ.one last mission as a Jedi. To say goodbye to the Jedi life.
Obviously, Obi-Wan sort of wants to go on one last mission with Anakin because in his dreams, he wants the mission to go so perfectly that Anakin stays with him the Order. But realistically, he mostly wants to go on this mission to say goodbye to Anakin and then let him go, soaking up all his warmth and light, memorizing every casual touch bestowed on him because he knows theyâre ticking down to the last handful of seconds together.
But then obviously the mission works TOO well and Anakin falls in love with Obi-Wan but doesnât admit to it even to himself before theyâre on the ship about to head back to Coruscant and Anakin realizes he doesnât want to leave this planet because he doesnât want to leave Obi-Wan if it could always be like this so he crashes the ship during take off so they can stay longer because heâs 24 and doesnât know how to handle the immensity of his love except through destruction
#Kitâs silly lil AUs#obikin#I couldnât finish the Democratic fic part today writing was so hard :(#I offer this instead <3#hopefully will get it up tomorrow#but anyway: no physical cheating but probably emotional infidelity as anakin falls in love with obi-wan but doesnât notice#and a lot of pining but being brave about it obi-wan which could also turn into finding his rebound in the outer rim obiwan#which would then turn into seethingly jealous anakin#+ bonus points is that their cover is theyre newly weds#and obi-wan is like <3 you can touch me mister we have an open marriage <3#and this poor guy at the bar is being stared down by a vicious anakin and heâs like uh does your husband knkw that ????#but yeah here for pretty newly knighted obi-wan creating a situation where he gets to feel anakin touch him and kiss him on the cheek#and hold his hand and call him pet names#all the while being convinced that this is all he will ever get so he has to be satisfied with this#that the yearning will stop and he will find comfort in the memory of anakinâs arm around his shoulders once heâs left the order and obiwan#to be with his wife#also obi-wan gets wasted one night and someone asks how they met or when they fell in love#and obi-wan accidentally tells the drunken truth#not the cover story#and it makes anakin go đđ§#but then he gets too drunk and forgets it
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the day the earth stood still is the day i felt your presence leave it, and then every day after that.
#tw grief#sigh sigh sigh.#apologies in advance as this is not the happiest yap ! i would just like to write out some of my feelings on this day#the heaviest heart weighs under an insurmountable amount of grief â the ghost of love#days like today are a twisted reminder that has every emotion flooding through your soul#longing . guilt . anger . an indescribable melancholy that could only be consoled through the sands of time#a year ago i lost my best guy friend and itâs never really gotten easier . but ive heard it never does#all i can do is bundle up the love i have for him and search for him in the clouds that take up the sky#the circumstances around his passing will never not haunt me and rather than go into it all iâd like to say is this#if you have a loved one or a relationship or a friendship you cherish .. then never ever stop fighting for it - for them.#as time never really seems to be on our side#each day iâll live as he intended . to greet the world with kindness and a smile and passion for positivity#in his wisest words (or rather after every phone call weâd have hehe) iâll try my best to stay awesome & encourage you all to do so as well#if youâve read this then iâm taking your hand and thanking you#it didnât feel right not acknowledging him at all on this blog . heâs the one that introduced me to anime + more importantly : one piece#i wish i could talk to him about it all so he could see how far down this rabbit hole i fell just as he had done#will be spending the day enjoying his favorite episodes and being gentle with the world that surrounds us#this is not like my usual yaps & i feel vulnerable posting it but i wanted to carve out a space for him on this blog#forever missing the connie to my sasha . maybe in another universe weâll get it right#have a wonderful sunday my sweet friendz and if you can â hug your loved ones & blow a kiss up to the sky đ€đ«#thank you for being here & helping me make this a safe place .#âËâč á° xoxo aims
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i miss carpisuns sometimes </3
#not necessarily that I regret switching over but i just get like nostalgic for an earlier time in the ml fandom#s3 was soooo much fun for me#and the long hiatus before s4 was also the best. so good wasnât ready for it to end when it did haha#things just feel so different in the fandom now#both the fandom has changed and I have changed#and of course the STORY has changed#and I like donât know what to do about that or how to react#cause I am used to being one of the guys who is defending mlâs honor with my life lol#committed to spreading positivity#and I still want to be that guy!#but itâs like. idk. I donât recognize this story anymore#this isnât the same story that I fell in love with years ago. but I donât want to just like Leave??#I do want to see how things play out bc I am still invested in these characters#and I would love to still be part of the fan community and connect with people over a mutual love for this thing#that has been important to me for years and has inspired me to create and learn new skills and make new friends!#but I also donât just want to shut up and pretend Iâm happy about things I am decidedly unhappy about lol#like itâs honestly surprising to me that a only a small minority of the fandom seems to feel the way I do?#and the majority are still super pumped and frustrated at the people who are complaining#and really. I donât WANT to rain on anyoneâs parade. I honestly donât#I was part of the parade for years! I had the best time in the parade! I donât want to ruin the good time!#so i try not to be too salty on main ? but i feel like Iâm going a little crazy lmao! like Iâm just one bitter little miser fhdjjd#i mean i guess itâs kind of a good thing that I moved blogs tbh lol#cause now when i whine only a fraction of the people have to be exposed to it đ#but man i hate knowing that people might think of me as a salter#I mean itâs valid if people are trying to have fun and do not want to hear my complaining haha#but also do i automatically have to be a salter. are the only options support and defend ml 100% at all times or Be A Salter#or can there be a third category of certified ml lover that is just disappointed in recent events & disagrees with the new writing direction#is that too much nuance for tumblr lol#see maybe thatâs why I miss carpisuns. she didnât have to ask this question. she was only full of LOVE!#but therein lies the ironyâŠlike marinette I have made this choice out of loveâŠfor what the story once wasâŠwhat is to become of me nowâŠ
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For me a core feature of Galex's relationship is that Alex wants to be seen as strong and unflappable and respected and always in control, right. And Gene wants to be seen as a kind of unquestioned alpha male in charge who never shows any weakness and who deserves the blind respect and obedience of the rest of the team even when he yells at them and verbally abuses them. And they do see each other that way, to some extent. But they also both know that to some extent all of that is bullshit, because they've willingly allowed each other to look deeper.
Because, see, to me another key fact about them is that Alex actually really likes being looked after, and Gene actually really likes having someone to look after, and this is each of their deepest and most personal vulnerabilities that they only really show to each other.
And then almost never directly and outwardly acknowledge, because that would mean acknowledging their own secret hidden layers.
They're perfect for each other. But they're horrid for each other because they're both equally shit at communicating or admitting weakness.
This is a long rambling post I just have a lot of thoughts. I just love them.
#see this is also partially related to why I love writing Gene with kids. man has powerful latent mother hen instincts#if you want to look deeper into it I could make some point#about how Gene subconsciously wants to care for people and love and protect because his adulthood was stolen from him#while Alex subconsciously wants to be allowed to be vulnerable#and to looked after and loved and cared for and protected#because her childhood was stolen from her#they're both still searching for what they never had. they're like mirrors of each other#freud would have a field day with them honestly#that woman fell in love with that man when she literally saw him hold and comfort her 8 year old self and tell her he was here for her#insane shit#I'm going to start eating my own limbs#galex#gene hunt#alex drake#a2a#ashes to ashes#keeley hawes#philip glenister
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2009 Belgian Grand Prix - Kimi RÀikönnen(ft. Giancarlo Fisichella & Sebastian Vettel)
#2009 kimi is so đł with his long hair#my fav part about kimi podiums is how much champagne he drinks compared to other drivers hahaha#everyone else mostly sprays it but he always keep slugging it#i dont know why i keep making these at 6 am when i dont have any thought processes as well as being sick! i cant write meaningful tags#nevertheless aahahhhhhh i love 2009!!! its so sick how balanced it is#like how tf did a force india get pole and nearly win???? sick#im still dying over the lap one DNF where 4 cars were taken out in one fell swoop it was almost comedic#it feels so nice to see fisi again!!! i missed him since 2005...shame nando isnt on the podium w him bcs i miss my renault boys#but heyyyyyy simi podium!!! i love how kimi is just trying to drink and seb sprays him#kimi rĂ€ikkönen#kimi raikkonen#sebastian vettel#sv5#giancarlo fisichella#f1#formula 1#formula one#we do a little bit of f1#2009 belgian gp#2009 belgian grand prix#season: 2009
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*lovingly tackles Aine*
Read my Yandere! Pierro longfics first âȘ( ÂŽâœïœ)
Last week, my beloved mutual @ainescribe surprised me with Savior! Darling fan art and AHAI9232@2-!/! CRYING SCREAMING I WANT TO LOOK AT THIS ART AND WORSHIP YOUR VERSION OF SAVIOR THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR BLESSING ME WITH YOUR ARTâ
*clears throat* Anyway, now that I finally have the time to properly sit down and comment on the fan art, Iâll do just that. Feedback will be in the tags and it will be unhinged. Once again, thank you so much to Aine for drawing this <3
#feedback#fan art#ainescribe#AIIINE ;-; once again. thank you so much!! it rlly means a lot to me that you enjoyed my writing and felt inspired to draw this :'>#and as someone who loves fashion and character design. it's so so interesting to analyze your version of savior#there's so much symbolism and visual storytelling in each sketch/ outfit and i shall now proceed to pick apart each detail as best as i can#her snezhnayan fit.....god i love it. it's regal. distinctively snezhnayan. and draws attention to her--and you just know that was pierro's#intention when he dressed her in those garments. IT'S JUST SO...!! savior's wardrobe scrubbed clean of her original culture and preferences#replaced with the foreign garments of her captor's nations.....in line with this. i love how her kokoshnik and khaenri'ahn earrings are big#and attention-grabbing. you can't look at her without taking note of those accessories. it begs the question:: how many times has savior#looked at the mirror after being dressed up in snezhnaya and was unable to recognize her own reflection?? :'>#also shoutout to some details aine shared with me: 1) the face marks are inspired by weeping angels 2) the kokoshnik was traditionally worn#by married noblewomen BUT the veil was normally for unmarried women so savior's outfit can be seen as a form of compliance + rebellion#(though later on in history it became accepted for married women to also wear that veil. also my apologies if what i said is inaccurate)#lastly shoutout to savior's expression!! very poised and mysterious....due to her emotional state or pierro's rules on how to act as his#spouse in public?? we'll never know~ the first drawing hits even harder when you compare it to the next one!! such an interesting contrast~#savior in her plain attire. casual and domestic with a smile on her face....i'm guessing this is her pre-fatui version?? she looks so warm#and friendly. and i can definitely understand why pierro fell for her smile <3#also i fucking love the caption. sorry pierro but you are cursed to be a loser/ simp/ pathetic man in all of my fics and AUs xD#NOW ONTO GODDESS! SAVIOR AAAHHHH!! i love the greek goddess motifs. she looks so regal and awe-inspiring but in a different way from her#snezhnayan attire--archaic. divine. and more suited to her personal style.....yet both versions of her look so painfully isolated :'>#her blank eyes. emotionless face. and veil give me the vibes of a spooky victorian ghost...or would a statue/ portrait be more fitting??#the lack of a necklace is also an interesting design choice given what happens in the fic. and now i realized i forgot to comment on your#version of her snezhnayan necklace oops. similar to the kokoshnik and earrings. the size + grandeur makes it impossible to ignore#that and big jewels = expensive af. ohhh and i love the sparkles on her veil!! pierro rlly spared no expense in dressing up his wifey <3#it's also funny how all of these outfits are similar to my own version in terms of 'savior wore grand clothing during her glory days as a#goddess -> wore simple attire after her decline for practicality and to blend in with humans/ disassociate from her old identity -> is now#dressed in even grander clothing as the harbinger's spouse. but it's used to reinforce her new identity and pierro's control over her'#tldr:: your design is so creative and i can see the effort you put in analyzing her character and depicting her based on your interpretatio#thank you for being my mutual + reader and i hope we can share even more harbinger/darling brainrot in the future :>
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Might as well have the salt before the sweet; so here is Rin's Finished Timeline!
Tag list (ask to be added or removed): @carrionsflower @statichvm @risingsh0t @simonxriley @tommyarashikage @kanos @confidentandgood @unholymilf @florbelles @thedeadthree @shellibisshe @roofgeese @aezyrraeshh @faerune @tekehu @jackiesarch @minaharkers @sergeiravenov @carlosoliveiraa @rosenfey @greenecreek @queennymeria @heroofpenamstan @tethrras @jamessunderlandgf @d-esmond @solasan @bigbywlf @delzinrowe @fenharel @imogenkol
#personal*#jess talks#oc: rin kyutoku#my writing#mha oc#bnha oc#anime oc#the finally concluded and updated timeline for my bad girl!!#have had a few moments though up since i first added her bio to her page#so theres some new sections as well as the final ones#i love redemption arcs#but i also love people never losing their personalities#so shes redeemed - somewhat#because listen listen listen#if none of the league experienced their awful childhoods: theyd all be good guys#thats the WHOLE POINT#i do have a happy au for rin and dabi#where they grew up happy and fell in love at ua#so maybe one day i'll write that out#but for now have the canon#i was gonna decide what happened to her mum... but maybe therell be an epilogue of how she kills her to save society *side eye*#and yes dabi (in canon) regrets what he did and cried about it#so him and rin being soft in the end isnt out of character#anyway ill stop explaining myself#i do hope yall enjoy it!!#lemme know what you think in the replies/tags!
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