#He was there for them all at their lowest he gave them the support they needed and they all found family in each other because of it | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

mandy-asimp · 6 months ago

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Needed me

Emily Prentiss x fashion designer!reader (they/them)

Warnings: angst, fluff, happy ending

A/n: they dragging babygirl through hell this season 😔

"I'm sorry, but she is not my responsibility anymore. I can't be there to tell her it's going to be ok when she couldn't do that for me." They grumbled as they sat across from Rossi.

He sighed, "she's dealing with a lot."

"And I wasn't?" They didn't let him get further. "I get that you all are going to support her, she's your teammate. But you all didn't know her as your fiancé. The absolute love of your life who for the love of fucks, left you at your lowest."

The old man wasn't going to give up. He believed that there was still apart of them that would cave. "Y/n, you know I wouldn't have flown out here if I didn't think it was serious. She needs you."

It was them who sighed now. Standing up from the table. Leaning across to kiss the old man's cheek. "I'm sorry Dave. Unless she is at the point of tears and just giving up, I will not be roped back into it. Not again. I deserve better. I'll see you around."

And they were off. They never looked back to that table, knowing they were too close to facing...but they couldn't help but wonder what was so bad. Then there was what she did, how it flashed so quickly.

She came home that day to find her fiancé in tears. Body racking with sobs. "Babe? Baby what's wrong?" She was quick to drop her stuff and come crouch in front of her.

"Everything I've worked for it's gone." They got out between wiping away tears that seemed to never end.

Emily frowned, "what? Y/n, what happened?" She was trying to think of anything this bad. Had they been told bad news? Something someone said?

They picked up their phone and with shaky hands pulled up the news, a video of a burnt down building. "The studio...everything in it. All of it...this sets everything back..." they calmed their sobs to hiccups and a few more tears. "I'm absolutely ruined. This was supposed to be it. This was the break I was gonna get and then actually get to enter the real fashion world. I was going to go somewhere and I was going to make it," they spewed out so many worries. Mentions of how much time they'll need to restart, how this was the such an important thing.

Emily though, she froze up. There was so much happening she didn't know what to do. She's never witness them spiral out before. Within the four years, they knew how to keep themselves calm. Even if they couldn't, it's never been this intense. It scared her.

She knew it was a reasonable response to what had happened. Their entire future just went up into a crisp. Everything in her wanted to try and comfort them, truly she wanted to figure it out together.

Yet, the few bricks of the wall she'd built had more impact. She fell back behind it and regretted her next choice before it even happened. After that, Emily swore she blacked out because when she realized what happened, she was in a hotel room alone.

Y/n was just as shocked. The woman they were about to confess their undying love to just walked out. Not a single word said, but just gone. Even when they tried to ask questions, she gave them nothing.

For an entire week, Emily didn't try to reach out or fix anything. Instead she read every text that came through. Even the one that said all her shit would be on the curb for her. The one that set in what she did was calling off the wedding.

That was only a few years ago. The two had completely moved on, or at least Y/n tried to. Never wanting to look back on how much pain was caused, but apart of them wouldn't let themselves fall in love again.

But here they were. Sitting in the apartment, trying to sketch their next line, and only being able to think of Emily. Rossi came and he wouldn't have if it was serious. If they were to go to her, it would be unwrapping the bandages on a wound that hasn't been fully healed.

"No. You are stronger than this." They whispered to themselves. Staring at the sketchbook once again.

If they did...there would be a chance for closure. It would be nice to know why she ran. Why she couldn't just stick it out. They would've been the most badass couple. The FBI unit chief and a famous designer.

If they did...they would get the chance to finally express their anger. But it wouldn't be the right time if she's suffering. How is she suffering? What is going through her mind?

"Fuck." They shouted before getting up. Heading into their room to start packing a suitcase. Dialing Dave at the same time.

"Rossi"

"When are you flying back to Virginia?"

"I'll have the car there in ten. Thank you Y/n."

The call ended quickly, and Y/n was left to grumble. "Oh thank you Y/n! Thank you for having to be the damn adult once again. Thank you for willingly putting yourself through hell for her!" They had a nasty taste on their tongue as they spoke. It's honestly what silenced them.

Throwing a few outfits into a suitcase with the basic needs, they zipped it and began to pack a second bag. Grabbing everything needed to continue working on their summer line. This was done more carefully, with more precision on where everything went in.

Their eyes scanned over the packed bag, making sure everything was in there right. Right before Dave texted the car was out front.

One more sigh was let out before the apartment was locked up. The start of what might be either the biggest, or best choice made.

Emily was in her office. She was lost. She was loosing her mind over this case. Her wack-ass neighbor had hit a nerve she would've never expected.

It was just a mess now. Whoever was behind all this was winning and she couldn't figure it out. She was just fucked.

"Hey...how bad?" Rossi had popped into the room. Watching as the woman pulled out a box of cigarettes and lit one. "That bad?"

"Restricted duty until they see fit, so the BAU is yours." She tried to act calm, trying to keep it together infront of him.

Rossi huffed, "I don't want it. I'm not fit for it."

Emily pinched her nose. "None of us are! Hell! Me most of all. I need you to step up here Dave." She just needed him to make this easier.

"There has to be something?"

"This is happening." She shook her head and turned her back, her purse being a lame excuse for a distraction . The walls couldn't stay up as she felt herself begin to crumble.

A soft hand on her back made her gasp. She expected to turn and see Rossi, someone who she could only go so far with. Yet, her eyes were met with Y/n. She couldn't help it. Her legs gave out as she just sobbed into their chest on the floor.

It killed Y/n to see her like this. Emily was known for her tough demeanor and being able to keep it together at work. But that's what the team knew. Y/n knew her as their fiancé. They saw her breakdown at least once a month from the case build ups.

This however, Y/n could tell this was months on months of a build up. This was a low point, one that they would be there for.

It was half an hour before Emily could get out anything. Her brown eyes, wide and glassy, looked up to them. "What are you doing here?" Her voice was weak and defeated.

"I was told you needed me." Was all Y/n answered with. Naturally, their thumb wiped away the tears. "Why don't you sit on the couch and I'll make you some tea, hmm? Then you can tell me what's got you so...low."

The older got up and moved towards the couch. Y/n leaving the room to make the drink, remembering how Emily liked it like it was their own preferred. Within five minutes they were back and handing over the tea.

They stood, leaning against the desk. "Was it Brian again?"

"How did you...?" The question trailed off as Emily took her first sip. Trying to not let the warm feeling rush through her. They remembered her tea flawlessly.

Y/n glanced out the window, "I saw him lingering on the way in." Emily laughed a little at that. "But really....are you ok?"

"I've failed as a team leader. This job has corrupted me into breaking laws and lying to my team. I'm chasing with nothing but a conspiracy theory. I sounded crazy to the biggest conspiracy theorist in Virginia. I've been benched because of him. I just...I don't know what to do anymore." She so easily confessed. Her head falling into her hands for what felt like the millionth time today. "This can't be how I go out."

Internally, Y/n battled with going over there and holding her or keeping this distance. It put them back once again. They wouldn't be able to live with themselves if they did what she did, it just wouldn't make anything right. So they went over and held her again. This time placing an understanding kiss to her temple.

"It's not. I mean, it will be if you let it. And trust me when I tell you, you're going to want to let it. But that's not Emily Prentiss. She has been through so much worse than some theorist. This will be a fresh start. A chance to start anew. You will take it, and you will figure out this case. You will get your guy or whatever you call it, unsub? This is not your lowest. It's gonna feel like it, but it's just a low before the high. It's all going to be ok." They spoke from their heart. Even as it ached to be back in this position. Even as tears fell from their own eyes.

They were sharing her pain without wanting to, but needing to. Needing to let her know this wasn't it. Needing to let her know that someone was her to share her burdens again.

For the first time, both felt connected entirely. Beating with one heart. Thinking with one mind. Feeling with one body.

That night they had fallen asleep on the couch in her office. Holding onto one another like it would all go away as long as they were together.

Y/n had woken randomly, searching for any source of time. Rubbing their eyes as it was two in the morning. Emily didn't have to be back her till at least eight. They let their eyes fall to Emily. How she seemed so peaceful lying on top of them. She needed this more than Y/n had thought.

So, without much debate, Y/n was carrying the sleeping beauty and her bags out. Doing everything to prevent her from waking, which wasn't hard as she was out cold.

They drove in silence back to where they were staying. Knowing that if it came to it, they could drive to get her an outfit. The silence gave them time to really think. What were they doing? This is the exact opposite of what they were expecting.

Was Emily going to easily fit her way right back? It wouldn't be fair. She caused them the pain and yet they still love her. They would, without a doubt, let her as well. All she had to do was ask. It was just unfair, and they were going to live with it.

Emily stirred in the nice duvet. Confused as it wasn't hers and far too nice to be a hotel. She knew this duvet. She slept in it many times before.

"The coffee is being made. And breakfast is on the way." That voice she missed hearing in the morning.

She hummed while stretching, "how long have you been up?" She finally opened her eyes and seeing Y/n in sweats and a baby tee. Their casual lounge wear.

"Since maybe five. These sketches don't finish themselves unfortunately." They sat down at the desk that was perfectly illuminated by the sun at anytime of the day. "Oh, also your team is coming here tonight. You're taking the day according to Dave. He said it's his order and you should follow it."

"Why are they coming here?" She swung her feet out the bed. Her head turning to take in the room. "You kept your apartment here? What about living in New York?"

"My home in New York makes this look like a doll house. Smallest is the home in California. I move with the seasons." They simply explained. Frowning when Emily laughed.

"You're such a snob. Three houses? Really?" She got up and came to look at the sketches. Not saying anything as Y/n just began sketching again.

She couldn't help but stare at them. They made that concentration face still. Where the creativity would float in their eyes as the rest of their face was resting.

Y/n could feel her eyes on them. It wasn't anything out of their routine. Oh how they fell so easily into the routines.

"I'm a big fashion designer. I'm constantly doing something somewhere else. It's like you, Ms. FBI. Always away doing something," they hummed. Never once did they look up to her, they seemed to be battling the inevitable.

Emily didn't say anything, she just took in the sketches one more time and was off to the bathroom.

Both in their own thoughts and silence. Neither one knowing how to approach the situation of each other. Emily not knowing how to go about work. Y/n not knowing how to go about the designs. There were many thoughts floating in the air.

They let the silence stay around as they waited for breakfast to show up. Emily still clueless on why the team was coming. And she could've asked, but the thrill of a surprise put together by Y/n seemed to make her against it.

Y/n had been trying to sketch within the silence, but knowing Emily was only a few feet away made it hard.

"Babe! I'm home!" She called into the apartment. Noting how quiet it was. "Y/n? Are you even here?" A text saying 'study' came through, leading her through the quiet home.

When she pushed open the door, she found several mannequins with different outfits all lined up. "Isn't it beautiful?" Y/n hummed from the table of gems. They seemed to have been hand sewing each one on.

"Stunning. You didn't have all this done before I left?" Emily came to get a closer look. Being able to see the glimmer of proudness in Y/n's eyes. "What's it inspired by?"

Y/n didn't answer, instead just took int their work. Each outfit was inspired by their favorite memory with Emily. Between outfits they wore that night, or how they felt in the moment. The line was a collection of their love.

"Alrighty, leave me in the dark till it's released. Are you hungry? I imagine you've been to busy working to eat?" Emily left, getting comfortable.

Y/n looked over the sketches one more time. Sighing and dropping their head with a loud bump. They hadn't struggled this hard with sketches since when the two had first split.

They pushed up from their spot and headed into the kitchen. Rubbing their eyes to try and see anything clearly. They lost focus as they stared at the working coffee pot. This trip was already off on a different path than they wanted.

"If you want...I can leave." Emily's voice broke into the silent kitchen. Her head hung low and her hands picking at each other. She looked out the window briefly, bracing herself to meet the others stare.

Only, it wasn't on her. Instead Y/n moved around to get coffee, their back to the woman. "If you want to, I can drive you. But by no means are you gonna get kicked out." Two mugs got pulled down. They were matching ones Emily had gotten for them once upon a time ago.

They frowned to the memories of both mugs. There was a moment with a sigh. They forgot how much they avoided coming here and how they left everything almost the same.

The coffee was poured and the mug was handed over. Now they met each other's eyes. Emily wearing a frown as Y/n tried to keep their shit together.

"Unfortunately for me and fortunately for you, I couldn't kick you out even if you stabbed me. But I wouldn't try, we both have too much to loose for that." Y/n kept their distance still. Eyes either on Emily or anywhere else in the house. It was getting quiet again and it wasn't enjoyable. They rubbed their eyes again, "I need to get back to work. Feel free to make yourself comfortable but not too loud."

They were off and back in their study before Emily could even get anything out. "What about breakfast?" She called out and after, following herself.

Y/n flipped over their phone, "it's about ten minutes away." Their voice was cold and stale. Short of the comforting Emily had heard last night.

It confused her. "You are so confusing." She mumbled. Her head shaking just a bit at the cold demeanor.

"Funny coming from you." Y/n shot back almost instantly. A nasty taste washing over their tongue again. They sucked their tooth before turning around. Eyes immediately locking Emily in. "If this is confusing for you, let me tell you what's confusing for me. The fact that when my entire future burnt into literal crisps, the only thing you, my fiancé at the time, quite literally walked out and said nothing. For a week you then ghost me, mind you I was the one you were marrying in less than a month, and then after years of not looking back, David Rossi shows up. You know what THE David Rossi asked me? To come help you. And here I am, trying my absolute best to keep my shit together so you don't have to worry about another thing. Because you know what Emily? I care for you enough to be there for you." They spewed everything out, hands being thrown around in dramatics as their chest heaved.

Emily was too stunned to speak. What was she to say? Y/n was right. She left when they needed her the most and left without a word. And yet, here they were giving her nothing but what they always have, love.

"I'm sorry," was all that she could manage.

They only scoffed, "whatever. Breakfast is almost here." Y/n shook their head and sat back down at the desk. "You can put my food in the fridge."

"Y/n..." Emily sounded broken, even more than last night. It killed Y/n, but they deserved their reason, and she knew that.

Cautiously, she moved in closer. Coming to Y/n's left and sitting down on the floor. Her knees bent just enough to rest her arms on.

"I panicked...I had never seen you break down like that before..I didn't know how to respond and I just fell behind a wall and did what I always did..I ran from it instead of facing it. And it wasn't fair to you. I truly have no excuse for what I did, except I was a coward." She spoke quietly into the air. Feeling tears prick her eyes as the feeling of guilt and embarrassment kicked her hard. "I only can say sorry, and I say it knowing it will never be enough to make up for all of the pain I may have caused you."

Both had taken the next moment to sit in silence and process everything. Y/n had tears falling from the moment Emily had sat down next to them. Emily had let her tears fall once she finished.

A few beats had passed and Y/n had let their hand fall to Emily's head. Sliding to her cheek as she looked up. "You Emily Prentiss, have caused more pain than I can bring up again. And I hope you have learned from it. I hope you didn't do it to anyone else and you won't do it to anyone else." They had this frown she had never seen, one she knew she had caused.

"I'm so sorry Y/n.." she quietly cried leaning into the touch. Feeling the warmth of the designers hands. "I'm so sorry."

"I know," they hummed as tears fell down their rosy cheeks. "I know you are."

Hours had gone by. Filled with nothing but tears and sniffles. Emily had moved from the floor when she began sobbing, into Y/n's lap. Her face buried into their neck as they shushed her to asleep.

Y/n had tucked her back into bed and continued to work on the designs. Pulling out the old sketches from their scrapped line. Staring over each outfit that was designed after their love.

The mannequins were in the studio, locked in a specific room. They questioned if now was the right time to bring them all back out. If it was, they knew it was ready to be launched, giving them more time on the line that sat unfinished.

They picked up their phone, "Jackie? I need you and Joana to bring me Project L.E.P. The key is in my desk, bottom left drawer, hidden under her picture, tied with a red ribbon. It's hard to miss, the ribbon has L.E.P in gold on the end."

"Are we launching it?!" The assistant grew overly excited. "Oh! Y/n you have no idea how wonderful this is!"

"Is that Y/n?" The other assistant, Joana came into the room.

Y/n assumed Jackie nodded, "yes! They want us to bring L.E.P to their home."

"They're launching it? But then that would mean Em- Oh my God!" The phone was snatched and it was Joana now. "Did you guys talk?! I want to know everything! How did you lay it down?!"

"Joana." Y/n simply cut the assistant from bombarding with questions. "When I see you, I will answer your questions. I need that line, bring the truck with them all. We're going to review them."

"Yes boss!" They both said before hanging up. Y/n knew they were geeking out in the studio at this point.

They assumed it would be at least half an hour before the two got there. Giving enough time to finally take a well needed break and eat something.

While they warmed up the breakfast, Emily had stirred awake. She laid in the bed, taking in the familiar smell of Y/n's shampoo on the pillows. She began to think over everything they had said.

They said it was unfortunate that they couldn't kick her out even if they wanted to. What did that truly mean?

Emily realized, they've already gone through the hardest conversation, this one would be nothing. She swung the covers over and began to look for Y/n. Checking the study first.

Her curiosity for the better of her. She came close to the desk, looking over the designs. There were a few that had yet to be finished, and then there was one in red that really caught her eye. She picked it up, scanning over the paper and realizing she's seen it before. On the bottom had L.E.P written in gold. Emily couldn't place where she's seen it, but she knew for a fact she had.

Placing it down, she left to the kitchen next. Finding Y/n dancing slightly to their own tune. She watched as they prepared their food before acknowledging her entrance.

"Would you like yours as well? I can heat it up?" They offered without even looking over before grabbing the second meal. "How'd you sleep?"

"Good...I do have a question though," she came in closer. Leaning against the counter while staying out the way. Y/n looked over, showing she had their attention. "When you said..."

"I meant it." They knew her thoughts better than anyone. Emily swore in another life they were either a profiler, or a mind reader. "If you want to stay, I'm not going to stop you. If you want to leave, I will drive you. I'm here because you needed me, and I think....apart of me still needed you. If I wanted to be over you, I would've been. I know I would've been. I would've cleaned out everything that ties to you, but I didn't."

"When we ended...I thought that everything was going to go to shit. My career was caught in a fire, my relationship was ending, and I began to spiral. I began to just accept that this was how I was going out. Would never be a big fashion designer, never have a love life, nothing to live for....but I thought of it as letting you win without a fight. And that wasn't how I wanted you to win."

"I don't deserve you," she had whispered. Her head tilting and her silver waves fell to the side.

It was the first time Y/n had actually taken her in entirely. How she aged and yet was still the most beautiful woman they had ever come across. It made them want to just kiss her and tell her that she was welcomed home always.

"And yet...you have me." They sighed, hand coming to cup her cheek. "And maybe thats why I've been so confusing. Because I'm supposed to be mad at you, I really really want to..but anytime I try to, this nasty taste fills my mouth. Like I don't mean anything bad I try and say. And I don't."

"Y/n..." she furrowed her brows. This was more confessing than she had expected. "You don't have to tell me anything-"

"Damn it Emily," they groaned. "I'm not telling you this because I think you need it, I'm telling yo this because I need it. I'm being selfish. I'm loosing my shit with you just standing here. Do you know how easy it is for you to walk right back into my life? When I said I was going to love you forever, I meant it. I meant it with everything then. And I'm going to mean it with everything now." They had their own tears now. Finally caving into the painful feeling of being in love.

Emily was stunned, but she wasn't going to miss her second chance. She pulled Y/n in by the pockets of their sweats, standing on her tip-toes to meet their lips in a passionate kiss.

They both felt airy as they got lost in the feeling of home. Holding each other so impossibly close that it was undeniable they were staying together.

Once they pulled apart they just stared at the other. Both trying to find some answer to what they were feeling. Was there anything to say now?

Y/n came out the trance first, a smile gracing their lips. "Why don't we eat? Jackie and Joana are gonna be here soon and will probably want to question us."

"What are they bringing you?" She held Y/n there for a little longer. Enjoying the closeness and safeness. "Fabrics?"

"Project L.E.P." Was all they answered before heating up the other box of food. "I think I'll release it before the one I'm working on now."

Emily watched them move, "what does the L.E.P mean?"

Y/n was quick to shrug. "It's just the name that Jackie and Joana gave it." They dismissed the topic. Eyes trained to the microwave as it counted down the minute. But the small smirk they held told her they knew exactly what it meant. "I got you your usual."

They handed over the box and the two prepped before heading to the couch. Sitting knee to knee as they ate and watched whatever was on.

It was an enjoyable moment, and one Y/n would remember. And that's when the next line came to them. They tried to be subtle to finish up their food before rushing into the study. They grabbed a sticky note, it was red, and they scribbled on it before slapping it against the window.

Soon designs started to be taped up to the windows. The evening sun peaking through the papers. The ideas began to flow and make sense again. They felt relieved at the feeling.

The front door had opened, and the two assistance were quickly to make their presences known.

"Oh my! Y/n! You dog!" Jackie's voice filled the entire apartment at the sight of Emily. Her head snapped to Joana. "This is so not real!"

Y/n forgot how young her assistance were compared to them. They walked out shaking their head. "How many mannequins did you bring?"

"We figured you still had six here, we actually know you do because you never returned them. So we brought the other six. Then each piece is stored in its own bag and box." They stood tall and in line. "We just need to grab everything."

"Well let's get to it. Six mannequins and twelve boxes are not getting up here that easily. Em, you'll stay up here and make the trips from the elevator back. Joana you'll be on elevator duty. Jackie you're unloading and I'll carry everything to the elevator."

It was the perfect team work. And within no time they had everything upstairs and the three were working on setting them up facing the window. Emily, having no hand in sewing or fashion just watched the three move in harmony.

Joana and Jackie worked to just get the outfits on the mannequins as Y/n did touch ups. They worked until the night fell. And it was perfect.

"Y/n you've outdone yourself still. Are we really ready to release project L.E.P?" Joana walked around the designs and took in every seeming detail. "Truly a genius."

Y/n had a glimmer of pride in their eyes. "Yeah. I think it's time." They only broke away to look at Emily who sat on the couch. "What do you think?"

She had dropped her gaze to look at the twelve outfits. "They're absolutely beautiful. They have been since when you first had them all laid out." She stood to come next to them. "Are you ready to release them?"

Y/n inhaled with a smile, exhaling their worries. "Yeah." They grabbed Emily's hand. "I am ready." They were confident.

"So...what are you gonna call it?" Emily went closer to examine the detail as well. The room was silent as everyone thought of something.

Jackie hummed, "mmm what if we keep L.E.P?" She threw out. "It holds meaning, it's cute, it's secretive, secretive is sexy."

"L.E.P in gold writing, your writing. We tease it with close up pictures first. Then we host a big launch party and have them all come out on a runway." Joana began to plan everything out. Already seeing a vision.

"But what is L.E.P?" Emily butted in. Getting silence and all eyes on Y/n, who was looking down to Emily.

"Loving Emily Prentiss," they only could smile even kinder at the reveal. "It'll be the start of a collection. The E.P collection. It's bright, it's new, it's warm and giving. That's how it'll start."

The doorbell had rang. "That must be your team. You two are dismissed. Thank you for the help today. Start your magic and fill me in in the morning. Love you both," they bowed their head. Watching as the two assistants began to pack up.

"Um, Y/n? I have nothing to wear?" Emily glanced down at the big t-shirt and sleep shorts.

"Your outfit was laid out on the bed before we even started touch ups. You go change and I'll greet everyone." Y/n shooed as they moved to the door. Opening and being greeted first with Dave.

"How is she?" He placed a kiss to their cheek before leading everyone in. They all seemed worried at first.

"She's better today. And that's what matters." They hummed. Moving towards the kitchen to begin cooking for everyone.

Stopping at the instant gasp and whispers. The team had seen the designs lined up. "Wait..your the Y/n? Like designer Y/n?" Penelope stared in awe at the outfits.

"Guilty. That's the next line. I guess a sneak peak." They shrugged, smiling as Dave began to prep to help cook. "You can get close, everything is set in stone at this point."

Just then Emily had walked out in a one-of-one dress. Y/n had designed it and worked the first night to make it for her. Telling themselves that it was either a goodbye gift or a welcome home gift.

She looked stunning, and Y/n could take their eyes off of her. Their best model walked into and began to get wine glasses down.

"Emily, you never mentioned Y/n was a fashion designer?!" Penelope was still caught on the fact. Earning a laugh from Y/n.

"Ouch, four years and almost married and you didn't tell them about my job?" They came near Emily, crouching next to her to get out some seasonings.

Emily looked down to them, taking in the moment of being taller for once. "She would've flipped out. I also figured she would've down a background check on you without my knowing." Both glancing to the bubbly woman.

"I...I didn't because I wanted to respect her boundaries." She got out, looking to everyone else who seemed to have knowing looks. "Don't tell me..."

"We all...kinda knew." Tara broke the news, hugging the friend as the look of betrayal washed over her.

Y/n had shrugged from their spot. "I had no part in this." They cleared their name.

That night the team had laughed, eaten, drank a few bottles of wines, and enjoyed a nice round of desserts.

A few months has passed and Emily and Y/n began to work things out. She appreciated Y/n's efforts as well even with all the press and media.

There had been an article that really stood out.

And why did you name it L.E.P?

Well....when I had made it I was with this amazing woman. Each piece was meant to represent a moment of our relationship.

And why are you just now releasing it?

We had honestly gotten into a fight a month or so before our wedding. We ended up splitting and I just couldn't come to scrap it. So I locked it into a room until now.

And what made you choose now?

Because she needed me and I realized I would always need her. And this is my gift to her. A token of my love with what I was meant to be doing. Fashion. And what better way than to express love through fashion?

Emily had came over and smothered Y/n with all the love she could after reading that. It made her look at the entire line differently and hold it near to her heart just as well.

They laid next to each other in bed, just staring and having a wordless conversation. But Emily could see it written on Y/n's face. They loved her. And that made her see everything worth fighting for.

"I love you." She had whispered before realizing.

Y/n smiled. "I know." They switched to a cocky smile. Pulling her closer by the waist and bending her just slightly back. "And I love you too. Always will."

They shared one of their most passionate kisses that night. It sparked a new sense of love. Mature, mannered, and workable. As long as they had each other, it would always be workable.

#reader insert #fanfic #criminal minds #emily prentiss #emily prentiss x reader #x y/n #criminal minds evolution

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spotlightlowlife · 18 days ago

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glutton for diminishment

and bonus lust for lies

Queen Bee has lost what little credibility she had at this point.

I'll start off by first calling out both Ozzie and Bee

Since that can easily be done together, they were pretty much the same character in mastermind but looking back on all we have got on these two, they're two sides of the same coin in general.

The last episode gave us some scenes with the sins we have met, we didn't get to hear from anyone new but Satan, it was his court but the alleged true boss was missing. Ozzie and Bee sat together and proved their allegiance and support of the defence, but not really.

They had fight in them to bicker with Mammon, much more than they had to speak up for IMP, even though they both initially spoke up in shallow defense of Blitzø and only Blitzø.

The fact that they were both quick to move on to an argument with their peer and quickly find entertainment in this spat dispite an execution going on that would not only go against their 'hangs out with the little guy image but upset their partners, also the little guys.

This indifference could easily show that those at the bottom of society truly mean nothing to them, they don't care, they may like the odd personality or two who is cute and looks up to them but so. This would actually make sense, they are leaders of the rings of hell, more than a business boss but world leaders and the residents of hell are customers who live and work to provide for them and act accordingly in their territory

no exceptions

but this won't be the case because they are 'nice' and being 'nice' they can't be ignorant or dismissive and if so l it's someone else's fault. So nice are they that they must love their mortal partners who were born the equivalent of yesterday to them.

Both Fizz and Tex had moments of insecurity and discomfort at the power imbalance of their relationships and where they stand

with Tex looking concerned at Bee's behaviour and what she could do to Loona who he kindly invited

and Fizz's lack of confidence turning out to be down to his fame being what lead him to Ozzie and without his brand where would thet be? Good question.

Both these characters got off to a good start, they spoke their agenda and were bothered by those who got in their way, Moxxie changed the tone and Ozzie had every right to eject him and Millie and Bee had every right to be bothered by a guest who was rude to her in her home, if the push to have them seem nice was relaxed, then these work as great powermoves rather than empty threat and their 'humblness' at having a club that's 'that place I wanted to go to' says a lowly imp and that party that anyone can get in, could be a manipulation to get lowest of classes comfortable which will equal profit. Makes sense. So far one character is safe to be doing this.

Now you see the parallels of these two and their matching situations, yet more can and has been done with Ozzie. Bee may be yet another female who needs a man for relevance.

The female curse

Mammon is better at Bee's sin than Bee. Greed and gluttony should mesh together well, gluttony is a major part of consumerism and that's a fact anyone can understand. But we can't have that because one is nice and the other isn't, even though this doesn't prevent Ozzie and Mammon working together.

Bee falls under the umbrella of outclassed females.

In breif

•Loona lives like a teenager and she's is spoilt by Blitzø who was good enough to adopt her, he also employs her, she knows transformation magic but how is unknown, we don't see her study, we don't see her taking phone calls, she is friendless and her interactions with IMP regress the episode after improvement

• Millie is given nothing to talk about, needs Moxxie and his perseved helplessness to show us her competence and now Blitzø is her bestie after one episode and credited for her life being what it is

• Barbie, edited out of her shared backstories with Fizz and her male lead character twin

• Verosika, a sucessful catch who got off lucky by getting robbed and abandoned by Blitzø reduced to bitter, petty and desperate ex

• Stella was the woman scored who's family and lifestyle just got wrecked, now just abusive wife, now doesn't even handle her own shit that's her brothers job

• Bel and Lev, they should be important characters yet they were introduced in silence, no speaking roles the whole episode yet the bird goatis guy talks

• dead mothers (or assumed so but it makes no difference) who didn't even get to speak in flashbacks, both major parts of their son's tragic background

I don't buy that it's a coincidence that the Bee is not shown enjoying being gluttonous in her own right AND happens to be in shape only for Mammon to be both gluttonous and fat upon debut. Yes, I'm sure there are merchandise reasons at play here yes misdeeds that should be Ozzie's have been ridiculously pushed onto Mammon too in order to have a bad guy, further proving Bee to be watered down Ozzie.

Crap vibes

The common defensive that Bee was disgusted by Mammon's gluttony because 'she picks up on good vibes' or 'table manners'

both are hopeless excuses because what's not good vibes about someone looking forward to their lunch break and enthusiastically eating a meal? Bee was the one encouraging her guests to eat, drink and enjoy a supersize, she wasn't watching how speedy and tidy they were in consuming and she is all for the depraved.

Another thing, she was quick to intimidate and threaten Loona and want to see the back of Blitzø, both for ruining the vibe, yet we didn't see people rushing to leave and there was nothing to tell us that 'good vibes' were something she imposed with subtle threat or they were just some young hipster standards and satire of PC.

We really could have seen Bee upkeep her flaky attitude by allowing Blitzø to get depraved as long as he was consuming (a lot like Mammon not intetupting Fizz's burn song because attention equal money) and it be Loona further proved right that this girl is a phoney and have her moment of looking for Blitzø without being prompted by an unlikely and irrelevant source. But no, Loona's rude anyway so her opinion on Bee doesn't matter, makes sense that she's jealous, there's enough reason to be.

Bee's shallow attitude and dismissal of what she doesn't want to roll with could easily be used for her own villainy, the power of toxic positivity, but no, she's reactive and what she enforces is unclear, yet again, what could be her thing has been done better.

#helluva boss critical #helluva boss critique #helluva boss beelzebub #helluva boss ozzie #missed opportunity #helluva boss criticism

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iwritenarrativesandstuff · 1 year ago

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The Agency's Older Brother: or, Ranpo's Character Development

I want to talk about Ranpo and the development he goes through in the series, because for as much as Ranpo is an important member of the Agency, his story is focused on in small chunks that may not always, at first read, seem to be overly significant. In fact, Ranpo’s arc is very consistent and I’m fascinated to know where it’s building to, because he’s done a lot of growing in the series. A lot of the themes of his story are to do with responsibility and faith in others.

The Ranpo we meet at the beginning of the story is not the Ranpo we see now. The biggest change is that he’s a lot more personally involved with the struggles of the Agency members, taking it on himself to be proactive and protective, while previously he had to be pushed and bribed into helping much of the time. When did this change?

Well...

[ID: Two screenshots from a scene in Poe's introductory episode of the Bungou Stray Dogs anime. In the first screenshot, Yosano lies on the carpeted ground, an axe embedded in her chest, blood pooling around her. Ranpo is crouched beside her, supporting her shoulders with one hand and clasping her hand with the other. The second screenshot is a close up of Ranpo's distressed face. End ID.]

The thing is, it's almost easy to overlook the effect this scene had on Ranpo, because Poe’s introductory chapter/episode is such a brief one. Moreover, afterwards, Poe becomes an ally and is a bit of a silly character, so it’s easy to forget sometimes that he was a legitimate threat here - and Yosano nearly died for it. This scene was incredibly significant to Ranpo for a few notable reasons.

It’s the first time someone in the Agency was in serious trouble/died without a backup plan.

It is, unfortunately, kind of on him. (Let me be real clear here: I am not blaming Ranpo. But he probably was blaming himself and that's something to keep in mind.)

To recap: Poe pulls Ranpo into his novel out of revenge, also trapping Yosano, who went with him. Ranpo realizes that they are in a world with no abilities, and importantly, he doesn't have the glasses Fukuzawa gave him.

We know those glasses mean a lot to him. When Ranpo was at his lowest, when he was convinced the world hated him, Fukuzawa gave him those glasses and told him he had a special ability. That he had a gift that no one else did that allowed him to see the truth that no one else could. Untold Origins makes it very clear that if Fukuzawa hadn't reached out to Ranpo when he did, Ranpo may have forever been outcasted. He was a kid kept in a bubble then suddenly and rudely shoved into a world he was unprepared to cope with, where he continued to get rejected and thrown out over and over - and all this on top of the grief he felt from his parents' passing. Ranpo was bitter and terrified of people, and thought everyone was pretending to be oblivious just to hurt him. Fukuzawa saved him the only way he could, in the only way Ranpo would hear him. It's not an exaggeration to say Fukuzawa saved Ranpo's life. And, while cute, it's also telling how quickly those glasses became an intrinsic part of his identity. Only maybe twenty minutes after he first received them, he was already making little doodles of himself wearing them.

Suddenly, the glasses are gone, and Ranpo goes into a funk because he "can't activate his ability without them". Obviously, we know that isn't true, and so does Yosano. Ranpo probably, deep down, knows this too, but to admit that would be to admit the president lied to him, and to uproot the very thing that gave him the means to perceive the world in a brighter light. The reason Fukuzawa had to lie in the first place was because the truth would be to tell Ranpo that his parents lied to him, something he angrily denies could ever be the case. And now, Fukuzawa is very plainly stated to be Ranpo's adoptive father. Ranpo's parents do not lie to him. He does not want to see it - and so he doesn't. This is a recurring thing with Ranpo. For as much as he sees the truth clearly, he also chooses not to see it at times when it would be uncomfortable/go against the intuition of someone he deeply trusts and respects.

And I think it's very easy to just leave it there, and say, "Oh, Ranpo realized at the end of this chapter/episode that he didn't need the glasses, that he doesn't have an ability, and that's a key turning point" but I don't feel that's the full picture or even the focus here, especially since Ranpo still hasn't reached the point where he can properly admit it aloud, even to Yosano.

The thing is, those glasses aren't just of use to Ranpo - they have sentimental value. A heck of a lot of it, for a character who is not very sentimental. The real turning point here is that Ranpo put on Yosano's glasses in order to save her.

[ID: A screenshot of a panel from the Bungou Stray Dogs manga. Ranpo puts on a pair of glasses. His hair is blown out of his face and he wears an intense expression. End ID.]

Shortly before this, we are informed by Yosano that not only was the Agency specifically formed for Ranpo to make use of his talents, but also that it was Ranpo who invited her to join - which we later learn was a pivotal moment for her to start over after she was completely broken by her experiences in the war. And now, he is watching her bleed out because she had to take over. Because he couldn't solve it. And that, to Ranpo, is unacceptable.

But again, there's more to it. Ranpo is fundamentally a self-centered character - this is not a judgement; I actually love that about him. He's the center of the Agency, the (ostensibly) good guys of the series; a narcissistic guy with little in the way of sensitivity who wants to use his skills to help others. Not for some higher ideal, or because it's "right" necessarily, but because he's good at it, and because he's supposed to protect all the "babies" who can't solve things for themselves. I love it because it highlights a major theme of BSD, which is good as something you do rather than something you are, and also because it explains something about Ranpo himself.

See, if everyone in the world is a "baby" who needs Ranpo's assistance, then the people in the Agency are a little different. They're people hand-picked by Fukuzawa to support him, both through praise and through backup. Remember that Ranpo trusts Fukuzawa's judgement more than anything - this means that he expects the Agency members can handle themselves. So, in chapter 10, when Ranpo doesn't really care that Atsushi has been taken, citing that it's a "personal problem" and he should handle it, I really think this was some odd form of "Atsushi will be fine" and "why should I worry or do anything when I know he'll be fine". And in the past, this has been true - the Agency members always pull through. None of them, up until that point, have been in a situation that they couldn't eventually fix. Ranpo has a bubble of safety in the Agency, that basically amounts to a "villain of the week" type beat from his perspective, where troubles gets fixed up pretty quickly. All in a day's work.

But then Yosano dies in Poe's book, someone he actually had some level of responsibility for when he invited her to join his safe little circle in a world that had no place for people like them. And it's a direct result of Ranpo's refusal/inability to act.

In order to fix this, Ranpo uses Yosano's glasses. The lens he's seeing through has changed. The people in the Agency were initially "his" in that they were meant to support Ranpo, the special one "chosen" by Fukuzawa's glasses, the reason for the Agency's existence in the first place. But now the people in the Agency are "his" in that they are his to protect. He's their big brother they all look up to in a way, and as the big brother, he's got to take responsibility for their safety.

Why did this not stand out in the moment? Well, we learn something about Ranpo from Untold Origins: he's very good at pretending he's doing okay and things aren't bothering him as much as they are. He's able to hold it together up until it all comes spilling out of him during the play. Also, I do think Ranpo cares about people a good deal more than he'd have you believe. A common fanon thing about Ranpo (from what I've seen) is that he tends to forget people, which, I can see how one would come to that conclusion, but I actually think it's completely wrong. I don't think Ranpo's forgotten a single person he's accused. I don't think he's forgotten a single person he's helped.

He lied about not remembering Poe, in fact, he remembered him pretty fondly as a real challenge. He remembers the information on a person from the Special Division he was asked to look into and gave the info to Mushitarou to allow him an in. He recognizes an officer he'd helped, and it's implied he recognizes every single officer who had been present while he was working on cases in the past. Does this mean he cares about all of them? ...eh. Probably not. But it does mean that Ranpo keeps a lot of his cards close to his chest. He's disarming with his intentional childishness. And so it can be difficult for the characters and readers both to notice that events like Yosano's almost-death... actually bothered him a lot more than he let on.

Because it was his fault. Because she was his responsibility. Because he's supposed to be invincible.

And unfortunately, the story from here on out does not get any kinder to Ranpo as his safe bubble that is the Agency is repeatedly targeted in ways that are increasingly hard to repair.

Fukuzawa falls ill and nearly dies in Cannibalism arc.

A girl gets blown up and Kunikida ends up in jail because Fyodor managed to manipulate Ranpo's intel.

Mushitarou is believed to have been shot and killed trying to warn Ranpo about the Decay of Angels plan.

Taneda bleeds out from a stab wound and falls into a coma. Ranpo can do nothing but listen and cannot get him help.

The amount of times Ranpo has seen people nearly die in front of him... bro it's almost as bad as Kunikida.

Much like Kunikida having extreme faith in his lofty ideals which make him fall just that much harder when he fails to uphold them, Ranpo has practically zero self-doubt and complete and utter confidence in his abilities... so when problems arise, Ranpo is very harsh on himself. He takes the blame because he's supposed to be better than that. Because he is the one with the powerful "ability" that should never fail.

In this sense, Ranpo's position in the Agency reminds me a lot of a certain person in the Port Mafia, someone who also has a powerful skill he puts towards protecting his own, someone who also received life changing words from the boss which earned him his loyalty, and someone who would do anything to defend the only place in the world he feels secure.

I think there's definitely a reason Cannibalism arc had Ranpo and Chuuya face off, I'm just saying. Both of them ostracized and thrown out as young teens by people who should've been looking out for them. Both the instigators of that arc, proactive and desperate to protect the person they are most loyal to who changed their perspectives. They've even got the same power stance, look. :P

[ID: Two panels from the Bungou Stray Dogs manga. The first is a panel of Ranpo with the silhouette of Fyodor behind him. He is standing with his hands in his pockets, facing front with his head tilted back and to the left a little, a fierce expression on his face and his cloak billowing outwards. The second is a panel of Chuuya standing in a similar manner, arms crossed, facing front with a fierce expression as his coat billows out around him. End ID.]

Of course, there's more interesting comparisons and contrasts to be drawn between them, but I'm focusing on Ranpo in this analysis, so I think I've made my point. Chuuya is the Port Mafia's best martial artist. Ranpo is the Agency's strongest man. And that places a burden of responsibility on them that they both believe they must uphold. They're both ready and willing to do whatever it takes.

The thing is though, is that Ranpo doesn't actually have an ability. When up against someone like Chuuya, he is at a distinct disadvantage, and he knows it. "Regular people can't defeat ability users". But he's still going to come up with a way to do it anyways, and why?

[ID: A screencap from the Bungou Stray Dogs anime. The members of the Agency all stand around Ranpo, who is seated at his desk with a smile, one hand holding his cap, the other held up in a casual gesture. The image is filtered in a soft light. End ID.]

Because his friends think he's invincible.

If Ranpo wants to maintain his safe place in a world of fear, then he has to step up to defend it, and he has to get creative about it. And that's exactly what he does. Ranpo becomes steadily more active throughout the story, which is a huge change from the start, where he had to be practically bribed to help at all. I see a lot of people point out his channeling of Fyodor's tactics to secure Kunikida's release, which is definitely a dark turn for his character, but it's not the only change.

Ranpo is now choosing to place his faith in others, the first obvious instance of this being his use of Poe's novels - which was how he defeated Chuuya. Ranpo knows that he is not going to succeed against people who drastically overpower him all alone, even if he does still take things on as personal burdens. He's also far more obvious about his protectiveness, going on the rescue himself to save the Agency members, driving a car (whereas before he needed someone to take transit with him - another indication of his increased proactivity since he's now literally driving instead of being driven), and bodily shoving Atsushi out of harm's way.

It all culminates in one of my favourite Ranpo scenes where he speaks at the conference to the police, who've worked with him before, where he asks if they will think for themselves - and tells everyone gathered there that anyone can be a detective if they think for themselves and look with their own eyes (!!!). He manages to get half the police force on his side, just through his words and his logic alone! Minoura assumes he somehow knew it would all work out, because, well, it's Ranpo. Ranpo knows everything.

But...

[ID: An image from the Bungou Stray Dogs manga. Ranpo sits in the passenger seat of a car with an honest, helpless smile. End ID.]

He reveals he didn't know if his ploy would work at all. He had to trust that it would with no solid proof. He had to trust these people would use their heads and look beyond the obvious. He respects these people enough that he thinks at least some of them will make the right call.

Fourteen year old Ranpo, bitter and estranged from other people, would never. For him to have come such a long way is testament to the security that the Agency provided him with. In a way, Fukuzawa forming the Agency allowed Ranpo to "complete" his childhood in relative safety, so that when the world became hostile once again and his family destabilized, Ranpo had matured enough to meet it and defend himself and those he has a responsibility towards head on. The Agency is his family, and Ranpo cares for them enough that he puts his faith, not just in them, but in the people they put their faith in too.

[ID: A panel from the Bungou Stray Dogs manga. Ranpo is kneeling in front of Fukuchi, who is sitting backwards on his chair to face him. End ID.]

...aaaaand then Fukuchi went and ruined it. Thanks, Fukuchi.

Ranpo again chooses to put his trust in someone without proof because Fukuzawa trusts him, only for that to have gotten thrown back into his face in the worst way possible. And it's in this regard, the trust aspect, that I think we'll see Ranpo develop as the story goes on.

Will he continue to show this tentative faith in people? Or will he begin to hyper-analyze, unwilling to trust again without proof?

If this arc gets resolved decently well, I think Ranpo will have no issue brushing this off as a one-time thing. However, if what I fear might happen does and Fukuzawa doesn't make it out of this arc... Ranpo will be destabilized.

I don't know that Ranpo would go "bad" per se. He likes the other Agency members. He cares about them - that's genuine. But if Fukuzawa dies, then Ranpo may begin to take darker actions in order to keep them safe, almost overprotective and harshly logical, with little room for blind trust or risks in the name of justice or honour. It may put him at odds with Kunikida, in that Ranpo may start to develop a strong "do what's necessary" mentality, even if that may be immoral. He may regress a little into his old trust issues.

However, I really don't think Ranpo will go too far down the path of darkness, even if the worst should happen. He's a lot tougher than he seems, and he has a good support system in the Agency. I guess it remains to be seen where Ranpo's story takes him next.

Until then...

[ID: A screencap from the Bungo Stray Dogs anime. Ranpo sits in his chair in a cuter art style, having taken a bite from the pastry he has in his left hand. End ID.]

I love one good boy. :)

#ranpo's such a good character man. there's so much i couldn't cover here but he's so so good.#but anyways. ahahahahaaaa i finished it! yesssss #sorry for the. VERY. long delay on this #i'm back baby #bsd #bsd ranpo #bsd meta #call me ace detective the way i am ace. and also a detective.#storyrambles #hope i got everything. whee.

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inkpot909 · 7 months ago

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First Love Headcanons: Bruno Bucciarati x Reader

↳ Gender neutral Reader with they/them pronouns. Implied the reader is shorter than Bucciarati? Canon-divergent. The reader is not made out to be very morally upright and is hinted at having a rough past.

A/n: Doing another one of these has been on my mind for a while now. Thank you to the lovely person below for the request! I hope y’all enjoy. <3

Warning(s): None.

There’s no time in Bruno Bucciarati’s schedule for a relationship.

Growing up in the mob kept him focused on the ‘family’ that took him in. It was his purpose, and the only reason he was able to support his father as well as himself. Before he learned the truth of the organization’s operations, he felt a pride in even the… messier aspects of his work.

Eventually finding a disconnect between it and his own morals leaves an empty spot in his heart. A shame so deeply buried within him that even the members slowly joining his team know little of it how deeply it affects him.

He now goes on with his work as normal, all while feeling like a bit of a hypocrite. His heart feeling so betrayed it needs little to push him towards full betrayal on his part.

Surely, a relationship would only muddy the waters.

All the cute girls that wave to him as he passes by on the street… who of them would be able to take such baggage? How could he expect anyone to? He wouldn’t have it in him to willingly bring anyone into this lifestyle, if his reluctance to let Narancia join is anything to go by.

Barely an adult and already he’s responsible for a small handful of people. Though, that thought never crosses his mind, as he’s unfortunately felt like an adult for an unfair amount of time.

And despite his own inner turmoil over his position in Passione, he’s formed meaningful relationships through the members of his team.

He’s the connection that binds them together, the head of their group, and by proxy the head of their little family. The purpose that the organization originally gave him now lands on the shoulders of his motley crew.

It’s them that keeps him going in spite of it all.

He finds his heart still beating, still moved each time he brings someone underneath his wing. That alone is good enough for a man like him.

No… there’s no time in Bruno Bucciarati’s schedule for a relationship.

And so, with that thought constantly repeated in his mind, he didn’t at all bat an eye when your own need eventually brought you to Passione’s metaphorical doorstep.

In your mind, it must’ve felt like fate.

Reaching for assistance at lowest point, you were subtly pointed toward one Bruno Bucciarati.

You don’t know what you expecting from the mafioso. A degree of harshness or coldness, perhaps. Only to be greeted with a hearty meal and an understanding personality so moving you fell into the trap of the mob right then and there.

How could you hope not to? When all you saw in that moment was a pair of gentle blue eyes looking at you with unspoken empathy, allowing you to speak freely despite his status as a gang leader.

So when he gave you an offer, you could only accept with newfound vigor.

The next couple of days felt like a blur, a change to your very view of your own psyche is made when it is suddenly able to manifest something you soon knew to call a stand. It is life altering to you, yet mundane to Bucciarati.

That kept you grounded.

Exiting a prison, golden broach in your hand, there’s no pit in your stomach that usually occurs when you lie straight to someone’s face. You had looked up at Polpo- an impossibly intimidating capo -and told him a lie. Said you’d kept the lighter on for 24 hours, and he… took your word for it, creepily enough.

You’re observant, able to discern that you were never meant to actually keep the lighter on the whole time, that the goal all along was to acquire a stand.

Distantly, you remember telling yourself as you left the prison that you ought to grow accustomed to lying anyways.

You didn't chose the mafia to be a player in your future, but life hardly goes the way people want.

And lying to a man like Polpo really didn’t feel like it counted anyways.

Still, Bruno’s reaction to your own twisted priorities was a darkly comforting one. It made you feel better about the coming days ahead:

Bruno Bucciarati finds himself checking his watch a third time, standing just a few yards away from a prison’s main entrance. Not many people like to pass by the looming building, leaving him alone and not likely to be recognized by anyone- Passione member or not.

He sighs, This should not be taking this long.

There’s only so much he can check the area around him before he starts looking suspect. Not that there’s much hustle and bustle in the surrounding area to distract himself with. A familiar impatience bubbles within his stomach, one that only occurs when he’s about to introduce his team to a new member.

Well… hopefully.

Before he starts growing gray hairs, he hears the prison gate creak open. Turning his head, he finally notices your figure exiting the large entrance with prison guards escorting you.

A smile finds its way onto his face, a gesture you return as you approach him. Once the gate is closed, and the two of you are left without any watchful eyes, you subtly gesture with your arm. The action causes his attention to move towards your hand that shows off a little golden broach in your hand.

He gives a nod, and you don’t waste time before shoving the little piece of gold into your pocket. Just as you do, you halt your footsteps- now standing close enough to hold a casually quiet conversation.

Every one of your movements are noticed and dissected within his mind, something you clearly understand just by looking at your poised body language. That, or you’re still on alert from talking to Polpo.

“I was beginning to think I’d have to go in there myself,” he jests lightly, though there’s not much actual humor in his voice. “Afraid I’d find you there attempting to choke the capo out.”

“The thought didn’t cross my mind,” you reply, a trying smile playing on your lips. You appear much more collected than the day you first met him, a detail he’s glad to see. “That would be an awful first impression of my own loyalty, wouldn’t it?”

Ah, so either Y/n is simply that nervous, or Polpo’s words actually got to them. Bruno shakes the thought off, as the distinction is not worth dwelling over right at this moment.

“One of your new teammates was damn near close to trying to pull a stunt like that in the past-“ he doesn’t miss how your eyes brighten up at his roundabout way of welcoming you to his team. You joining it went without saying, but the subtle omission being enough to make you look so inspired is something he can already tell he’ll find endearing about your personality. “-But no matter… walk with me, please.”

You do as you’re asked, something Bruno does not care take note of.

It's the one part of your behavior he doesn't quietly run through his brain. It’s your first day after all, he’ll see in a weak how well you actually listen to him. His experience with the others has taught him as much.

“I do have to admit…” you speak up when he doesn’t, “Lying to him didn’t make me feel bad at all.”

He turns to you, something flickering in his gaze before he lets out a soft chuckle. His smile now seems a little less formal, and the amusement on his face looks more natural. “If that’s an omission of guilt, then you’ll be an interesting change of pace.”

“It is,” you admit, figuring there’s no need to put up a front for a man this observant, “Lying to someone is almost worse than killing them.”

“How do you figure?” Bruno raises an eyebrow, not batting an eyelid at your statement. Honestly, the first time the two of you met, your words were much more morbid.

“Well… lying leaves room for feelings to stir within me or the person of interest. It lets emotions fester inside of people. Killing stops all regrets or feelings of betrayal- stopping everything, you understand? That, I can live with. A bad mark on my heart I find more difficult to walk away from."

It’s no surprise he’s silent after that, but his hesitation does take you off guard.

Oh, god, was that too loose-lipped? It’s easy to feel comfortable around Bucciarati. Far too easy. He’s the type of man that makes people inclined to open up. You always talked casually before about macabre things. Isn’t that normal for a mafioso? What if-

“No need to be nervous, L/n; I’m already impressed by you. You’ll do well with us.”

Oh.

Something about his words, spoken so calmly without even looking over at you, have a calming effect to them. Just a week into knowing him, and already you’re slowly growing accustomed to his genuine yet subdued warmth.

As Bruno drones on about Passione and its systems- more specifically his duties that directly trickle down into being your duties -you can’t help but let your mind wander a little to a distinction you made when you first met him.

Bruno Bucciarati’s fundamentally different.

There’s a kindness to him you never would’ve expected from someone in a gang. It kept you nodding along as you spoke, and distantly you felt as though your entire future is in the palm of his hand.

And scarily enough, you were fine with that.

Him being a sort of exception was a thought you assumed yourself to be mad for making, at least, until you found out the others on the team noticed the exact same thing.

All while Bruno himself only looks at you and sees your potential to grow.

A place in his team… something that he’s always well-spotted. An intuition he’s not once been wrong with before, so there’s a degree of confidence there as well that rubs off on you.

You got his attention in a familiar way, and after you join the team, you’re his responsibility and his purpose- just as the others are.

He’s just your leader. Nothing more, nothing less.

That said, he grows to appreciate the genuine gratefulness you offer him in a… special way.

The others are thankful for him too, and he knows that fact, but it’s nice to here the sentiment so openly and often in nature. And in the tones of your voice, it’s especially calming.

He’s really just making excuses for himself, but it was early on enough where it was okay.

That’s what’ll first make Bruno truly see you as not only a member of his team, but a member of his little found-family. The not-so-subtle ways you show that you want to be with them and a part of what they do… how could he hope to not find that charming?

Your softer side, however you chose to express it, is never missed by a man like Bruno. He easily recognizes it, and almost immediately respects you for it.

Hell, after a while, he relies on you for it.

There’s little in his life that’s more grounding than a gentle expression, thick with anticipation, displayed on your face after each mission you’re not a part of.

You always check up on the returning members as soon as possible, making sure everyone is up and moving. “I won’t be able to relax unless I see for myself that you’re all okay,” he recalls you saying on the matter. The fact that it’s how you treat everyone on the team only makes the relaxing feeling sink in deeper.

It’s not long before he sees you as a genuine soul, and he’d consider himself to be a fool if he didn’t recognize that.

Since the very beginning, Bruno’s personality has touched you emotionally. And although he always saw a sort of spark in you, getting to really know you- becoming your friend in tantum with acting as your superior -allows him to see that little spark for what it actually is.

Genuine care for the people you’re close to. An eye for good natured people, and a responding gentleness. Couple that with a darker, more proactive role during missions or anything work-related, and Bruno finds himself falling back on you more than he’d care to admit.

The others, though? They have no hang-ups over mentioning it. It gets to a point where- specifically Fugo, Mista, and Narancia -start to complain about Bruno showing you a degree of ‘special treatment.’

Mista and Narancia’s complaining jabs are easily shot down with only a look, but Fugo proved to be a lot more serious about it.

To the extent to where an argument or two emerges between them. Fugo insistant in his observations, trying to get Bruno to at least admit he treats you differently than the rest. But Bruno remained headstrong, stubborn in his belief that he would always treat his subordinates equally.

He’s just your boss. Nothing more, nothing less.

In the months that pass, when you’ve since naturally found your place on the team, at what point did that start to be the common refrain playing in his mind?

At what point does he go from insisting he has no time for a relationship at all, to continuously having to remind himself he’s your boss?

And that question alone tugs at his heartstrings in a manner he’s not quite used to. It’s a delightful feeling, but it is foreign.

For a man like Bruno Bucciarati, it’s not so much a refusal to believe he could be developing feelings, but a worry if he should even do anything about the attraction.

That said, it does take him some time to realize his own feelings due to his position as a boss to you and out of sheer unfamiliarity with the subject.

He’s not too obvious as to receive knowing looks from the others whenever he’s around you (Which is often). Hell, Mista even admitted to him much later that Narancia didn’t even notice until Fugo told him to start paying attention.

And after a certain point, Bruno has to admit it to himself and does so with surprising ease. It may have taken some time, he may have been stubborn speaking with Fugo, but he won’t continue to lie to himself. He’s old enough to know when he needs to swallow his pride and admit Fugo was onto something, if only a little.

And after that point of realization, his own love language starts to naturally shine through a bit more.

Bruno generally prefers acts of service and quality time when showing his affection. Cheeky and openly flirtatious, you may have assumed he’s been in relationships before given his confidence.

He’s always had a special care for you when it comes to missions... but now he finds himself offering to help you with grocery shopping. Or paying for a maid to clean up your home when you’ve had a particularly busy week, and offhandedly mentioned needing to clean once.

What? You thought he would forget? That only makes him chuckle smugly, prompting him to lean to eye-level and ask you, “What kind of man do you think I am?”

It seems like he remembers everything that pours from your lips. Always listening to you intently, and never brushing you off.

And during down time, Bruno naturally finds himself preferring to spending it in your company. A lot. Preferably alone, thank you very much.

The two of you even began to start watching TV shows with one another. And neither of you would dare to watch ahead without the other. It’s usually true crime shows, comedies, or shitty soap operas.

All this time with you after realizing his feelings... and they only grow- to his personal panic. The more he stays at your side the more he would hate to ever leave it.

So this is what it's like... he remembers thinking while lounging around, and watching a movie with you one evening. This is.... what I’ve been missing my whole life.

As beautiful as the feeling you bring him is, should he... really do anything about it?

He can see that look in your eyes when it’s just the two of you, a gleam that speaks of an internal joy you’re not sharing with him just as he refuses to share with you.

He gets a sneaking suspicion that you like him the exact same way he’s grown to adore you. And Christ almighty- what’s he supposed to do with that?

Yet, even though you��re a part of Passione, meaning he needs not to stress over bringing you into something so dangerous unwillingly... he is still hesitant.

His care for you so often is expressed through worry, something he usually handles with authority and maybe even harsh words if he deems it necessary.

But this is far more personal, and he can only mull it over by himself. He’s not the type to bring it up to others, not even Abbacchio.

If he reached for you... and the two of you began something real; something official... it would be a no-brainer for enemies to target either of you in order to send some sort of message.

He can’t stand the thought of your broken heart, and absolutely refuses to think of something like that happening to you.

Then again, if a bit morbid, he eventually realizes the result would still be the same with the way things are now. Only, it’d be coupled with Bruno's deep regret over not having said anything to you.

He can only wonder if you’d feel the same, and at the end of the day, he really does think that would be the case.

And it’s around the time he’s fully digesting this, that you end up genuinely taking him aback. Acting before he can begin convincing himself to make the first move:

Giorno, Fugo, and Mista walk behind Bucciarati, looking up at him in silent awe.

If you were to look into each of their eyes, you could likely peace together what they’re thinking while looking upon the freshly appointed capo. Opportunity twinkles within their gazes, all coming from a sincere place of respect for their leader.

You, however, are not looking at them.

As Bruno approaches the rest of his team, anticipation turns into cheers and hollers of excitement from the others standing next to you. Abbacchio has the widest smile on his face you’ve seen since Giorno entered the picture, yet your gaze stays glued onto Bruno throughout the nearly youthful display of glee.

He’s noticeably silent and calm. It’s like there’s no off switch to him- likely already going through the duties now landing on his lap due to his promotion within his mind. He’s not going to want to take the night off, no doubt wanting to get down to business.

Your heart swells despite the slight strain on it. It’s so like him to be that way in a time like this, but… I can’t help but wish he’d celebrate… if only a little, you find yourself thinking.

“Mista… guys, please,” Bruno tries to calm the two (In all honesty, Giorno’s ‘celebrating’ amounted to simply smiling) excited boys walking beside him, waving his hand.

Mista goes on about how everyone must celebrate somehow, still lecturing as they finally approach and reunite with the rest of the group. His words go over Bruno’s head, however, a fond smile making its way onto his face when he turns to meet your gaze.

Maybe it’s the adrenaline from him finally achieving the well-deserved position. Feeling so proud of him that your body jerks forward without thinking. Maybe it’s the excitement of everyone else rubbing off on you, and simply causes you to act without thinking.

All you do care to think as your feet move you right up to Bruno is, To hell with it. If he won’t start celebrating on his own; I’m making him celebrate.

Bruno opens his mouth to speak as you move well within his personal space, but is cut off by the swift movement of your hand tightly grabbing the collar of his jacket. One good tug of your arm and your pulling him toward you, lips meeting with his eyes widely open in surprise.

“Jesus, Mary, and Joseph!”

Fugo’s exclamation, along with startled gasps from everyone else melt away the moment you feel Bruno melt into the kiss and reciprocate.

He follows your lead, gently sighing against your lips when you neglect to take your hand off his collar. His arms, which you’ve always found to be so comforting, snake around your waist. He keeps you securely in his hold, and your other hand flies to cup his jaw.

After a moment or two, the kiss breaks. Bruno looks at you as you pull away, eyes still wide and mouth gently agape. It’s enough to make you chuckle, seeing him so cutely taken aback by both your and his own spontaneous actions.

“Congratulations, capo,” you smoothly whisper, finally removing yourself from his hold. “You earned it.”

“I-… thank you, Y/n,” he responds softly, a smile growing on his face.

As much as you’d like to hold onto the gentle intimacy of the moment you just shared with him, movement out of the corner of your eye catches your attention. Shifting your gaze, you catch a glimpse of Fugo silently sliding some cash over to a smug-looking Abbacchio.

No… they didn’t…

“Did you-“ you breath, embarrassment beginning to boil inside your stomach and fuel the rising volume of your voice, “-Did you assholes bet on us!?”

“It’s Fugo’s fault for assuming Bucciarati would make the first move,” Abbacchio replies dryly, scoffing as if it’s beneath him.

“Excuse me!?” you and Fugo shout in tandem.

The team erupts in accusations and yelling, the celebration over nearly three minutes after it began. Bruno can only smile at his team, not expecting anything less.

And just like you moments ago, he cannot take his eyes off you.

It’s moments like those that serve as a reminder as to why it’s Bucciarati that leads the team.

Still… the smile playing on his lips that day did not falter once after your sudden display of affection. It was a beautiful, unexpected thing… much akin to how you entered his life.

The two of you were much closer after that event. Other members of Passione outside the team noticing another that’s always at the young capo’s side. Whispers and rumors flood Naples of your relationship… but he never pays them any attention.

He knows what the two of have, and he’s confident in saying that it’s love.

After all, all that matters to him is you staying at his side… even behind closed doors. He’s never experienced something like this before in his life, but now that he has you held in his arms, he never wishes to let you go.

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jedimaesteryoda · 9 months ago

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One trend I've noticed a lot lately in the speculation of Tyrion meeting Daenerys is how he'll influence her. The argument often is that Tyrion will encourage her more "fire and blood" destructive tendencies when they get to Westeros. However, this view is often one-sided as it's always about how Tyrion will influence Daenerys but never about how Daenerys will influence Tyrion.

"Daenerys, I am thrice your age," Ser Jorah said. "I have seen how false men are. Very few are worthy of trust, and Daario Naharis is not one of them. Even his beard wears false colors." That angered her. "Whilst you have an honest beard, is that what you are telling me? You are the only man I should ever trust?" He stiffened. "I did not say that." "You say it every day. Pyat Pree's a liar, Xaro's a schemer, Belwas a braggart, Arstan an assassin . . . do you think I'm still some virgin girl, that I cannot hear the words behind the words?" "Your Grace—" She bulled over him. "You have been a better friend to me than any I have known, a better brother than Viserys ever was. You are the first of my Queensguard, the commander of my army, my most valued counselor, my good right hand. I honor and respect and cherish you—but I do not desire you, Jorah Mormont, and I am weary of your trying to push every other man in the world away from me, so I must needs rely on you and you alone. It will not serve, and it will not make me love you any better." -ASOS, Daenerys IV

Daenerys is not the sheltered child Aegon was who Tyrion could easily manipulate as shown when she called out Jorah for trying to isolate her from other men. Even Tyrion admitted to Aegon, having never met Daenerys that "she is strong" and "fierce." Daenerys was more worldly at 14 than Aegon is at 16. Even as a small, frightened girl at age 13 in the beginning of the series, she had more street smarts than her adult brother Viserys and has shown to be a prodigy in the series. Tyrion would not be able to manipulate her easily, especially since would initially be wary of him for being a Lannister.

Tyrion at the end of the day would be serving as her subordinate, him being largely dependent on her. Tyrion largely is the way he is because of the toxic family he grew up in. The Lannister vision has no idea of a Good Society, it's just pure self-aggrandizement by any means necessary. As the adage goes, rot always starts at the head. The monarchs Tyrion served as Hand, Joffrey and Cersei, were both cruel, incompetent tyrants with senses of entitlement that outweighed their actual abilities. They also had no concept of the duties of a monarch to their subjects, and instead just abused their power over others, including sexually. The one who actually ran the show for the Lannister regime, Tywin, was a cold, abusive Machiavellian who brutalized the smallfolk and his children, seeing them as pawns in his schemes. Tyrion could be cunning and brutal, because it was both encouraged and necessary for the winner-take-all, dog-eat-dog world of the Lannister court. It was an environment designed to bring out the darker side of his nature.

However, since the beginning we saw hints of the lighter side of his nature such as when he gave emotional support to Jon and designed a special saddle for Bran. He even helped Catelyn when they were attacked by the mountain clans even though she kidnapped him. In A Clash of Kings, we see hints of Tyrion wanting to be something other than the cold Machiavellian like his father when he stands up for Sansa when Joffrey beats her, and he has Morec killed and Slynt sent to the Wall for killing Barra, wanting to "do justice." In A Dance with Dragons, he risks his life to protect Aegon and even in his lowest he looks out for Penny even though she is a complete stranger to him.

Daenerys is a foil to Cersei, whose ruling philosophy is expressed in the statement "Why do the gods make kings and queens, if not to protect the ones who can't protect themselves?" Daenerys tries to live up to the image of an ideal monarch who protects the weak. She liberates the oppressed from slavery and tries to protect them, even performing acts like tending to those afflicted with the bloody flux herself, marrying someone she doesn't want and putting her plan of going to Westeros on hold to achieve peace. Working as Hand to Queen Daenerys, Tyrion may find himself in a change of pace in a different environment where for once his more positive tendencies are encouraged with his fondness for "cripples, bastards and broken things."

In short, in cutting himself off from his toxic family, Tyrion may actually find a new beginning in service to Daenerys. He's the Machiavellian polymath and court politician she needs, and she's the competent, idealistic monarch he needs.

#asoiaf #a song of ice and fire #queen daenerys #daenerys targaryen #daenerys stormborn #tyrion lannister #house lannister #house targaryen #meereen #queen cersei #cersei

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faretheeoscar · 1 month ago

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OH MY FREAKKK?!

Little baby Poe has my heart :(

Would you consider writing something for little Poe and little reader meeting when they're young? Maybe in kindergarten, reader is more 'rough-and-tumble' than Poe is, getting dirty, climbing up trees, not bothered by pain. A shy Poe really wants to make friends with her but one day at kindergarten, he finds that her family have moved, which upsets him, but the two meet again when they're fighting in the rebellion?

Anyways, I fucking adored baby Poe, I love absolutely everything you write, have a great rest of your day! Huzzah!

Hey noonie! First of all thank you so much for your support! Your kind words mean a lot to me! I kinda went crazy with your request and ended up writing an almost 4k thing, but baby Poe just kept speaking to me! This AU has a hold on my brain and doesn’t let it rest. Had lots of fun making this request!

Thanks again and Happy Poevember!

Roots of the Resistance

Join the TagList! • Main Masterlist • Fics Masterlist • Buy me a coffee! • Linktree

Pairing: Poe Dameron x gn!reader

--Warnings: none, just fluffy baby Poe!--

A/N: English is not my first language, so I apologize if there’s any mistakes.

Word count: 4k

In the quiet corner of a little kindergarten on Yavin IV, five-year-old Poe Dameron sits cross-legged, watching as you—the new kid—scale the tallest tree on the playground. Your elbows are scraped, and your knees are dirt-streaked, but you don’t seem to mind at all. You’re perched up high, legs swinging as if you’ve done this a hundred times. With bright eyes and a hint of hesitation, Poe clutches his favourite stuffed tooka doll, Captain Fluff, close to his chest, feeling something between awe and curiosity.

The droid teacher nudges him gently. “You need to make friends Poe, your father gave us instructions for us to encourage you into socialising with the other younglings, why don’t you go say hi?”

Poe glances down, feeling a bit of nervousness, he is not usually the type of kid that’s quiet, or shy around people, he’s always active at home, bouncing eagerly from place to place talking the ears off all the adults he has around, but ever since his mom had been going on missions, he had been having trouble adjusting and talking especially to the other kids that didn’t get him, being enclosed in his fantasy world on fighting for the cause, and just depending on his favourite buddy, Fluff.

Taking a deep breath, he adjusts his grip on Captain Fluff and walks toward the tree. Shyly, he looks up at you, your hair wild and your hands smudged with playground dirt, as you look down with a big, welcoming grin.

“Hi,” he says, his voice small but warm.

“Hi!” you call down, eyes twinkling. You don’t seem surprised to see him, as if you were expecting him to join you, after all you’ve noticed he’d been staring at you for a while now. “You wanna come up?”

Poe’s eyes widen, his cheeks flushing pink as he fumbles for words, his little foot nervously tapping the ground, shifting back and forth. “Oh, I… um, not really I was just… wondering what you were doing up there.” He points up, his head tilted back to see you better. “Doesn’t it, you know… feel kinda high?”

You laugh, swinging your legs as you peer down at him. “It’s awesome up here! You can see everything. Like the ships outside the fence,” you say, pointing excitedly to the sky. “When they fly by, it’s like you’re right there with them! Makes me feel like I’m up close to them.”

Poe’s eyes light up, his fear of talking to you, forgotten for a moment. Ships! A topic he is familiar with and can talk about them for hours. “You can see the spaceships… up close?”

“Uh-huh!” you reply with a proud grin. “Come on up, I’ll show you. It’s easy,” you say, reaching down and motioning him to grab the branch.

Feeling an excited flutter in his stomach, Poe puts Captain Fluff under one arm, holding on tight as he tentatively grabs the lowest branch. He starts climbing, a little unsteady, and hesitates when the tree starts to feel taller. You notice his pause, lean down, and give his arm a firm yank to help him up the next branch. He nearly laughs at your outburst of strength, and, before he knows it, he’s sitting beside you, feet dangling in the air.

“There, see?” You point beyond the playground fence, where ships take off and land in the nearby port, and Poe’s jaw drops, watching with wide eyes. The ships look like little metal birds in the distance, zooming by against the sky.

“Whoa… you were right!” he whispers, barely able to contain his amazement. “I’ve never seen them from here before. You can even see them getting ready for takeoff!”

As Poe settles into his spot next to you on the branch, he glances over, gathering his courage to introduce himself.

“I’m… I’m Poe. Poe Dameron,” he says shyly, his cheeks already turning pink. He glances away, quickly looking back up at you. “What’s your name?”

When you introduce yourself Poe repeats your name quietly to himself, as if savouring it. He whispers, as if it’s the most beautiful name in the world… (besides his mom’s obviously). He smiles, then blushes even more, his cheeks burning as he realises you’re watching him. “I think… I think it’s a really nice name,” he adds, glancing shyly at the leaves overhead.

“Thanks,” you say with a big smile, two of your front baby teeth missing from having fallen out recently. “I think Poe’s a cool name too.” When you take a closer look at him, you notice he’s holding something safely under his arm— a handmade doll with white ears and an orange body.

“Hey, who’s this?” you ask, leaning over to get a closer look at the stuffed tooka doll.

Poe’s shyness returns briefly, but he grins, holding out the doll for you to see. “This is Captain Fluff,” he says, his voice suddenly a little more confident. “He’s, uh… he’s my copilot! He goes on all the missions with me.”

You grin excitedly, “Really? You go on missions with him?” With a serious nod, you reach out and gently shake Captain Fluff’s little paw. “Nice to meet you, Captain Fluff, I bet you’re a great pilot.”

Poe beams, clearly delighted that you took Captain Fluff so seriously. “He’s the best,” he says, hugging the tooka doll close. “He always makes sure I’m safe.”

The two of you sit together in the tree, feet swinging as you trade stories about space adventures you’d both want to go on. He learns that you are all about exploring and learning about “vantage points” or all those big words your dad uses when he works on reconnaissance. Poe feels a new kind of bravery here, sitting high up with his new friend, talking about adventure and far-off galaxies. It’s the start of something he is sure he will remember forever.

The weeks that follow your first meeting turn into a whirlwind of adventures for Poe and you. Poe, who once hovered quietly at the edge of the playground, now spends every recess chasing after you like an eager shadow, his shy smile lighting up whenever you invite him on your latest scheme. Whether it’s scaling the school’s low fences to chase after a lizard crab or daring each other to swing as high as possible, Poe is always at your side, wide-eyed and ready to be brave.

You show him how to climb trees without slipping, leap across muddy puddles without falling, and you help him to face up his fear of leviathan grubs, by using a stick and practically shoving it up to his face for him to see the little worm, you tell him they seem harmless but they are fearless predators when they grow up, but one that’s little as the one on your stick? Your loth cat devours them for lunch. Together, you also build forts out of fallen branches, Poe declares you as his “official lieutenant” of your own makeshift Alliance. Every day with you feels like a new mission, a new world to explore.

One afternoon after school, you and Poe are out exploring, looking for the perfect place to keep on practising “drills”. As you wander near the edge of the old market, you spot some ruins, crumbling and hidden beneath layers of overgrown vines and moss. The walls rise higher than anything you’ve climbed before, making it the ultimate challenge in your eyes.

“This is it,” you say, grinning. “This is going to be the hardest climb yet, Commander Poe. We’ve got to face it if we want to be ready for anything.” You point at the jagged edges of the stone wall, feeling the rush of excitement build up inside you. “It’s going to be tough, but that’s what makes it perfect for ‘recon.’”

Poe hesitates, glancing up at the ruins. His eyes widen with both excitement and nerves. “But… are we allowed to be up there?” he asks, looking around as if expecting someone to stop you.

You give him a sly grin. “Who’s going to stop us? Come on, Poe, don’t chicken out now. This is the ultimate challenge! If we can climb this, then we can face anything.” You nudge him with your shoulder. “I’m doing it—are you?”

Poe looks unsure for a moment but then puffs out his chest, trying to look braver. “I’m not a chicken,” he says, his voice a little shaky but determined.

“Prove it,” you challenge, offering him your hand. “Boost you up first?”

With a deep breath, Poe nodes, taking your hand. You help him up to the first ledge, encouraging him with every step. He climbs higher, using your tips for where to put his hands and feet. When he reaches the top, his eyes widen with pride. “I did it!” he cheers, a bit breathless looking down at you with a grin, lending his hand to you to take, tugging you up towards him, as you did the first time you helped him climb the tree at school. “Told you I was no chicken!”

You both bicker and chuckle for a while, treading dangerously on the ledge of the walls until the path narrows, you both decide to go back, but just as he’s about to climb down first, you both freeze. You hear voices on the other side of the ruins. Slowly, you both peek over the top and spot something unexpected: Kes, Poe’s dad, and your dad, alongside other adults standing together, looking over some papers and talking in hushed voices.

Poe’s face drops as he freezes, realising you’ve stumbled into a place you weren’t supposed to be. The two of you exchange a quick, worried glance, but before you can move, Kes looks up and catches your eye. His expression shifts from surprise to something a little more serious.

“What are you two doing up there?” he calls, crossing his arms.

Caught red-handed, Poe scrambles down, his face flushed with guilt. “We… uh… we were just doing some recon, Dad,”

Kes gives him a pointed look, his eyes narrowing. “Recon? Is that what you’re calling it?” He sighs, shaking his head. “You’re too high up. If you fell… Poe, you’re not just putting yourself at risk, you’re dragging others into trouble too. You know better than this.”

Poe’s shoulders slump, his stomach twisting as the words sink in. “I’m sorry, Dad,” he mutters, his voice barely audible as he avoids eye contact.

With a defiant grin, you think you can make things better, unbothered by the mild scolding of Poe’s dad, you try to speak for the both of you. “We were just training to look out for Empire spies,” you explain with a serious nod. “Poe and I have been training hard to be ready!”

Your dad steps forward, his arms crossed and his face hard with disapproval.“Enough excuses,” he says firmly. “You two. Climb down. Now.” His tone is firm, making it clear he’s not happy about this either.

The weight of his voice leaves no room for argument, and with a sigh, you carefully follow Poe’s lead, your heart heavy as you descend. Once you’re both on the ground, your dad grips your arm, his gaze stern. “We’ll talk about this at home,you’re in deep trouble.” he says evenly, the promise of consequences hanging in the air.

As you’re led away, you glance back at Poe, who lingers for a moment, his hands stuffed in his pockets and his head hanging low. He manages a small, sad smile, lifting a hand in a subdued wave. You return the gesture, your own heart sinking under the weight of guilt and frustration.

Despite everything, the unspoken understanding between you lingers, a quiet reassurance that, no matter the scolding, you’ll both bounce back from this together.

After the incident, the weekend passes, and even though you were both grounded for what you did, Poe knows that he’d continue following you everywhere, eager to learn from you. Even if he’s a little nervous, he finds himself braver each time, when he’s with you, taking bigger leaps, climbing higher places, and facing every little “danger” you point out. For Poe, every scraped knee and every muddy shoe feels worth it, as long as you’re there beside him, his lieutenant and best friend.

When Poe arrives at kindergarten in the morning with a bright smile, he’s very eager to tell you about the spaceship toy his mom had sent him alongside a cargo that came to the rebel post. But when he reaches the classroom, his smile falters. Your usual seat by the window is empty, your backpack and coat nowhere in sight. His heart pounds as he looks around, waiting to see you run in late, maybe with a story about an adventure you had on the way to school, maybe you also have something to show him and are just teasing his nerves, making him wait for your arrival at the last minute.

But… you don’t come.

The teacher eventually explains to him that you and your family had to move away suddenly. The words feel heavy, and Poe’s small hands grip the straps of his jacket as his bottom lip wobbles. He doesn’t fully understand why you had to leave or where exactly “away” is, but he knows it’s far enough that you won’t be coming back.

The following days are quiet. He drifts through recess and playtime without his usual spark, his gaze inevitably straying to the tree where you once perched together, where you’d both laughed and schemed like rebels in training.He thinks about the fact that you’re gone, maybe its his fault? Maybe he could’ve stand up for you in front of your dad, maybe that way you would’ve stayed, if you’d both hadn’t gone snooping around, maybe you’d still be with him.

Poe’s little cheeks are stained with tears and he spends more time holding Captain Fluff close, as if the little tooka doll might somehow fill the gap of your absence. At home, he tries to keep up with the “missions” you once led, braving solo ventures to his backyard and recreating your adventures, but the thrill fades faster than he expects.

In time, Poe will come to recognize these memories as something precious, realising how they’ve embedded a spark of adventure within him, a piece of you that remains despite your absence. The small voice you planted in him—an urge to climb higher, to be braver, and to dream bigger—will stay with him, shaping his path forward. He doesn’t know it now, but those days, even the bittersweet ones, will linger within him for years to come, forming a quiet foundation for the hero he’ll one day become.

Years later, Poe stands in the middle of the busy Resistance base, his mind laser-focused on the upcoming mission briefings, the endless tactical updates, and the hum of pilots and soldiers passing by. He’s been on countless missions, and by now, the routine has become second nature—preparing his X-wing, checking the systems, reviewing the intel. His concentration is unwavering as a Resistance officer details the mission ahead, highlighting enemy positions and strategic points of interest. Poe nods along, mentally mapping out the path, fine-tuning his plan.

But then, across the room, something, no someone, catches his eye.

Amidst the bustle of soldiers and pilots, talking with another Resistance pilot, is someone he feels he recognizes. His gaze sharpens, as he takes in the details—the shape of their features, the fierce but familiar set of their jaw, the gleam in their eyes that’s both determined and a little mischievous. There’s something about them, something he can’t quite place, but it stirs something in him—like the flicker of an old memory, buried deep. He watches for a moment, distracted from the briefing, trying to piece it all together.

It’s only when the officer calls his name, snapping him back to the present, that he realises he’s been staring. He shakes his head, refocusing on the mission details, but the pull of that familiar presence lingers. His curiosity gnaws at him. After a few more moments, he can’t resist and excuses himself and jogs towards the other side of the hangar.

“Hey,” he says, almost breathless, a soft smile growing as he studies your face more closely. And then, with a look of realisation, he knows it—it’s you. It’s really you. “Tree climber, is that you?”

You blink, momentarily surprised, and then a laugh escapes you. “Wait—tooka doll kid?”

Poe’s face goes crimson, his bravado faltering as he clears his throat. “I, uh—yeah, that’d be me,” he admits, scratching the back of his neck with a sheepish smile. “But, hey, I’ve got a name too, you know. Poe Dameron. Just Poe is fine, though.” he adds, his tone half-proud, half-nervous.

You chuckle softly. “Of course, Poe Dameron, I remember,” you tease, because of course you knew who he was. “Can’t believe you’ve gone from the shy, tooka doll kid that used to follow me everywhere, to being the poster boy for the Resistance.” You raise an eyebrow, a smile tugging at your lips. “Guess you really did become all important.”

Poe grins, his face flushing slightly, though he tries to hide it behind a chuckle. “Well, guess someone’s gotta lead the way, right?” he says, the cocky edge creeping back into his voice.

The two of you laugh quietly together, and Poe’s heart feels like it’s soaring, even within the chaos of the base. His gaze lingers on you as he shakes his head in awe. “Wow... look at you,reconnaissance now, huh?” He recognizes the badge on your arm and chuckles, eyes crinkling. “Just like your dad, and it tracks. You always did love exploring the uncharted.”

You smile, leaning in a little closer, your gaze wandering over him as you take in his strong features, the way his dark curls fall just over his forehead, and that lopsided, boyish grin that’s still the same as it was when you were kids. And those dimples—those same little dimples—are still there, deepening as he smiles at you.

“And you, a squad leader,” you counter back with a teasing smirk. “Not bad, Dameron.” You don’t tell him, but ever since you got assigned that week to move to the Yavin base, you’d hoped you’d bump into him somehow—just to admire him in his element, the confident leader of the Resistance.

Poe’s eyes drop for a moment, a small blush creeping up his neck, getting nervous as your steady gaze studies him, same way it did when you were kids, never faltering. Neither of you speak, taking in the almost surreal reunion.

Suddenly, he’s not sure what to do with himself. His gaze drifts over you as if seeing you for the first time. After all, it is the first time he sees you in your adult life. You're standing there, strong, poised in your uniform, that looks somehow both formidable and very fitting on you. But there’s something else—something about the way you carry yourself, the way the light catches your eyes, the quiet confidence in your stance. He catches his breath, his heart racing just a little as he takes you in, the same person from all those years ago but somehow... different. Gorgeous, even.

For a moment, he forgets how to speak. He’s pulled from his thoughts only when he realises he's been staring too long, he shakes himself back into reality, glancing up at you with a slight cough, trying to act nonchalant.

“You… you look good,” he says quickly, his voice a little unsteady. He clears his throat again, adding with a nervous laugh, “I mean—uh, well… you know. For someone in the Resistance uniform, I mean– this is not going very well is it?” His words stutter out as his hand rubs the back of his neck, but it only makes you chuckle.

“Smooth as always.” You shake your head in amusement at his flustered response.

Poe watches you for a moment longer, his heart still racing from the mix of nostalgia and admiration. As you catch his gaze, a warmth spreads across your cheeks, and you quickly look down, suddenly feeling self-conscious. The way he was looking at you made you realise just how much you had missed him—more than you were prepared to admit. But you shake off the fluttering feeling in your chest and decide to change the subject.

"So, uh... are you leaving soon for a mission?" you ask, your voice a little steadier than you feel. You focus on looking at Poe's forehead instead of his eyes, hoping that the lack of eye contact convinces your brain and distracts it enough for you not to make a fool of yourself, and avoid the heat that just started creeping up your cheeks.

Poe, still a little flushed himself, gives you a sheepish grin. "Yeah, actually, in a couple of hours," he says, eyes lingering on your flushed cheeks. "Lots of pre-flight checks and intel stuff to go through before I head out."

You nod, your mind briefly flashing back to the way he used to prepare for missions as a kid, always following your lead, but the first to volunteer for anything daring. "Sounds like you're always on the go," you tease gently.

Poe chuckles, his gaze softening as he looks down, his foot nervously tapping the ground, shifting back and forth, things never change.

"Well, you know me—always got something to do. But hey..." He pauses for a moment, looking at you with a slight hesitation, then asks, “Hey, after the mission and after I’m off patrol… would you want to grab a drink? Maybe catch up?”

You blink in surprise, a smile tugging at your lips, and for a moment, you can’t quite believe this is happening. Poe Dameron, the fearless pilot and Resistance leader, asking you to catch up. You might have been his childhood friend for a hot moment, but this still feels unreal, you shrug off the doubt and look him in the eye. "Actually..." you start, the idea suddenly sparking in your mind, "how about I suggest something a little more fitting?"

You step a little closer to him, eyes gleaming with a playful challenge. You point off into the distance, toward a towering tree at the far end of the base. "You see that tree?" you ask. "Right there, just on the far end of the base. It's pretty tall... you can see it from a long way off."

Poe follows the direction of your finger, his curiosity piqued. "Yeah, I see it. Pretty big for sure. What about it?"

You smile, leaning in just a bit, as if sharing a secret. "Been meaning to climb it," you say. "And I might need help doing it. So, would that be something that interests you?"

Poe grins, the idea instantly catching fire in his mind. "Climbing a tree?" he laughs, "You know, we're not kids anymore. I don't think this is exactly your idea of a good time as an adult, is it?"

You raise an eyebrow, the challenge in your tone still there as you look at him. "Oh, I don't know, what, you’re gonna chicken out on me, Dameron?"

Poe's grin widens, his chest puffing up as he shakes his head. "Not a chance. I’m not a chicken," he says with mock indignation. "I’ll show you just how not a chicken I am."

"Rendezvous by the tallest tree, then?"

Poe’s grin only grows wider as he gives you a mock salute. "Copy that, Lieutenant." He teases and makes you both laugh again. “I gotta go, but I’ll meet you when I get back.” With a quick glance back, he turns to leave, heading off to prepare for the mission ahead.

As he walks away, his heart feels lighter, his steps more purposeful. The collision of his past and present has left him feeling more confident, as if something has shifted in him. He’s reminded of the person he used to be as a kid—the one who faced challenges with a grin and a sense of adventure, rather than the constant tension and weight of responsibility that so often clouded his thoughts.

But now, with you back in his life, that spark of his younger self is rekindled. He finds himself looking forward to returning to base, eager to pick up where you both left off…

Reblogs and comments are kindly appreciated!

tag list friends

@eyelessfaces @howellatme @ierofrnkk @silvernight-m @ingoldthewizard

#poe dameron #poe dameron x reader #poe dameron x you #poe dameron fluff #baby poe #poevember #star wars #star wars fanfiction #poe dameron star wars

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dekariosclan · 2 months ago

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All these Gale caring posts are getting to me

What about a tav who suffers from chronic pain, and a bit depressed to not be able to do things she used to be able to do? 🥹

I would feel that with Gale experiencing chronic pain from the orb, he would especially empathize with a tav who suffers from chronic pain. How would he comfort/share his care with such a tav?

VERY specific and very self-indulgent but all your Gale care posts have been so warm and spot-on 🥹💜✨️

Regarding all the caretaking asks which have been SO delightful, I feel I must share this quote:

“It is a truth universally acknowledged, that all Galemancers are stans for caretaker Gale.” - Jane Austen

(OK, yes, I may be misquoting that slightly, but I’m also 109% sure Austen would’ve been a Galemancer, so it’s all good.)

OP, you could not have chosen a better, more loving, more understanding, or more empathetic caretaker for a Tav with chronic pain than Gale, ‘his-orb-might-have-been-removed-but-his-knees-are-still-aching-terribly’, Dekarios.

After all, when Gale was at his lowest and most vulnerable point, suffering constantly from the orb’s side effects, Tav was his caretaker. Tav, who sought out and gave him the magical items needed to ease his pain. Tav, who checked in on him often, asking if he was in need of anything. Tav, who never made him feel like a burden.

Tav, whose kindness and care made Gale fall in love with them.

So when I tell you that Gale intends to pay it back 1000x, I am not exaggerating.

He understands the importance of letting Tav keep their independence—especially when Tav specifically laments things they used to be able to do—while providing them with any support they need. He never crosses the line by assuming he knows what’s best for Tav; he always asks how they are feeling, and is a patient, attentive listener.

He also never frames their situation as anything bad or negative. When Tav wakes every morning, whether it’s to the relief of a manageable ache, or the dread of a harsh pain settling in, they know that in the next instant they’ll feel Gale’s hand on their cheek, his kiss on their forehead, and his soft voice asking, “Good morning, my love. What adventure are we going on today?”

Tav’s answer might be they’re feeling well enough to go exploring around Waterdeep, or it might be that they can already feel pain clouding their thoughts, exhaustion overtaking them, and they want to stay in. Gale’s loving smile never wavers. If it’s a day he’s scheduled to teach at the Academy, he’ll simply ask if Tav wants company or no? Tara is always available, or Gale’s simulacrum. Or Gale himself will stay home if Tav prefers; in that case, he will simply send his Simulacrum off to teach in his stead (the students love it when this happens, btw.)

And Gale’s mastery of magic truly helps when Tav is feeling regretful or upset. He can conjure almost any illusion, after all, and so if Tav longs to visit an environment that they know they would struggle with given their condition? He will conjure it for them (and he will tell them, most sincerely, that ‘my knees thank you, my love, for not making us partake in this journey and instead allowing an illusion to suffice.’)

The only aspect Gale struggles with is coming to terms with the fact that, for all his skills, there are some things he cannot do; and curing Tav of their pain completely is one of them. But he will do his utmost to ease their pain in any way that he can.

And if Tav finds themselves feeling upset or guilty or frustrated, as is natural once in awhile? If they try to tell Gale they are sorry, as this was not the life of exploration and freedom they had envisioned for themselves or him?

Gale will gently place his hands on their shoulders, and look them in the eye. “My love, I’ve had my fill of exploration. I have already visited every inch of Faerun while I was stuck here in my confinement. And though I was able to conjure any place, any experience I wanted, it did nothing to cure my loneliness. Because I couldn’t conjure you.”

Then he’ll take their hand in his, and place it over his heart, and smile so sincerely that Tav will know he speaks the truth.

“Having you with me, in our home, is the only adventure I will ever desire.”

#OP I sincerely hope your condition improves #Wishing you nothing but wonderful and pain-free days ahead 💜#gale dekarios #gale of waterdeep #baldur's gate 3 #bg3 #gale x tav

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most-datable-datable-bracket · 8 months ago

Text

QUARTER-FINALS MATCH 2

Elliott propaganda:

“Just look at him. Pure hunk energy.”

“I will punch anyone who dislikes him. He’s like a fire emblem character in the modern day. He’s so flamboyant and handsome, he can play the piano and he’s best friends with the old fishing man!”

“dramatic writer man with sexy hair”

"Since I like elliott. I will state some reasons why I like him

Imagine if Mr. Darcy didn’t insult your family first time you met him, that’s Elliott. The man who’s basically the hallmark romance love interest. He’s a writer who moves to the small town in the country side to find inspiration for his writing. Then he finds the farmer.

He has a crab living in his pocket

He can play the piano (hopefully it isn’t the river flows in you however)

His fans sometimes hc him as a merman and that’s just a major plus IMO

He genre of the book he writes is dependent on what genre you say you like.

He also sends letters to you if you marry him

Okay and also some things I dislike

His liked gifts, the easiest one is pomegranates, which cost like 6000g to grow a tree if you don’t pick the fruit cave. I AM NOT GETTING SQUID INK IN YEAR ONE FOR YOU.

he might be British /j

The fact he has no kitchen but still likes food like lobster, like he is just a mystery. Lives in a cabin, with no kitchen, no washroom (okay no character has a washroom), but still likes the most fancy food out there and has luscious hair worthy of a L’Oréal ad.

Gifting him on rainy days when you don’t have two hearts"

Asra propaganda:

“He GIVES AWAY HALF HIS HEART TO REVIVE YOU okay but like. He's the MCs roommate and they were together for a few years before the MC caught a plague and died and he obsesses over a way to bring them back before succeeding by making a deal with a god to trade half his heart for MC and betraying the emperor. And then when MC comes back but without any of their memories, he takes care of them and teaches them how to live all over again and he never asks for anything in return. On all the routes where you don't choose him he's really supportive and helps you out despite your history and overall he's just really nice and supportive of the MC and is their rock no matter what route you go down. Also he has a pet snake named Faust and I love her she's so <33

Idk I just appreciate him so much”

"He gave you half his HEART!! He would literally go to hell and back for you!! He wants to take you on adventures all around the world—doesn’t matter where, as long as he’s by your side!! AND he’s nonbinary!!!"

"He is so caring!! Anyone who says he is boring or his 'route' was boring is a LIAR or didn't really understand his character! He is such a sweet person

Asra propaganda on this poll doesn't even do him any justice!! He makes friends wherever he travels to , likes knitting for his familiar snake , is a sweetheart, WILL take care of you even in the lowest point of your life"

#sdv elliott #elliott stardew valley #Stardew Valley #asra alnazar #The Arcana #The Arcana Game #Quarter-Finals #MDDC 2

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o0-snowdrop-0o · 3 months ago

Text

I feel like we don't talk enough about the wonderful interview session that Sam Hazeldine and Morfydd Clark did together to promote season 2.

dorks 🤎

Their interactions, the mutual respect, their insane chemistry and all those thoughtful answers they gave deserve a praise! They were patient and supportive to each other all along, not to mention Sam being a real charmer, lol

( khm.. THE WAY HE LOOKS OVER AT HER WHEN HE SAYS THE "ALATÁRIEL" LINE, THE TENDER VOICE, he knows what he's doing lol )

Morfydd's little dog was there ( " the light of my life" as she said ) with her to support, Sam understood the importance of the situation, of course, he was so cute about it...she shared a little story about Matty being on set with her

Sam loving the transformation of him becoming Adar, but still hopes people can tell the difference between his normal appearance and him wearing all the make up, the prosthetic parts and the costume as the character lol ( Both the lady - who made that interview - and Morfydd comfirmed he's handsome, even as Adar of course :P )

Morfydd " I wish I was kind of more similar to Galadriel than I actually am " Sam: " If that makes you feel any better, I make no distinction between you and Galadriel " omg

There were several interviews...both of them gave meaningful, thoughtful answers regards of their characters, their journey, the relationship between the two and so on, it was quite enjoyable to listen their interpretations...there are quite many when it comes to their golden moments 🤎

" And Adar understands her in a way that her elves don't, because he's been deceived by Sauron. So, they're bound by this awful they're bound by their lowest point, which is always tough " Morfydd

And of course...Sam's favourite line and the cheeky way he delivered it 🤒

she knew what was coming lol

i would have fainted

" A star shines on the hour of our meeting, Lady Galadriel " in elvish, just to make everyone blush for sure

deep conversation lol

being adorable 🧡

honestly I dont blame her lol

Nor him :)

telling him it was nice to have him as a new cast member, after he tricked her to do so lol

Anyway I do hope we will have the opportunity to see these two amazing actors on screen together again in an other project, since it ended in a tragic, sudden way to one of the characters....🫤💔

#sam hazeldine #morfydd clark #adar #adariel #galadriel x adar #adar rings of power #galadriel #top notch cast #chemistry #elvish mystic #uruk daddy #his voice #adar x galadriel #a darker shade of magic

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cher-rei · 9 months ago

Note

hey could u do a comfort fic with trent alexander arnold where he’s maybe read stuff on the internet about him that are very hateful and the reader comforts him

reflection— [ T.A.A ]

but I love that man like nobody can [how to disappear- lana del rey]

pairing: trent alexander arnold x fem!reader

summary: after his injury, comments start to flood trent's mind and you want nothing more than to make sure he knows that they aren't true.

genre(s): established relationship, hurt/comfort, angst, fluff

[wc: 2.3k] masterlist

notes: while I'm writing this I can't stop thinking about cody and the amount of hate he's getting because of the united match. he's human too and the fact that people are going to his instragram and commenting the most horrible things about him and telling him to leave the club genuinely hurts my heart because he's so sweet and doesn't deserve any of this. it's normal for footballers to make mistakes and they have their bad days, but putting them down isn't going to make the situation any better. we're supposed to be supporting the team and not blaming individuals for a loss </3

it's strange how the people that swear that they're a clubs supporter can switch up on players over something as minuscule as missing a goal or losing a tackle. it's the way players get dragged for making human mistakes, but because of the pedestals they're put on it adds even more pressure.

the comparing of players, telling them to leave their clubs and so much more pile up on the list of hate they get. no matter how good of a footballer you were there was always going to hate thrown your way, chipping away at your self esteem ever so slowly.

trent was headstrong, he knew who he was and hardly took harsh comments and criticism to heart. it was one of the many things you admired about your boyfriend, the way that he was able to be better and prove people wrong so effortlessly.

but he was only human after all, and it was bound to get to him at some point. it was after his first match back after injury that everything happened. he acquired the knee injury against arsenal in january, recalling the exact moment you saw him limping and biting his jersey to ease the pain.

you were in the stands obviously, worried sick but he wasn't subbed off for whatever reason. while everyone was rejoicing the win you couldn't bring yourself to forget about his knee, immediately rushing to the tunnel so you could see him.

trent swore that he was fine but you were absolutely furious that he still played the full 90 minutes instead of asking for the medics to at least check up on him. that was water undet the bridge however, and he was put off for three weeks but even then you felt that it was too little recovery time.

and you were right of course but he was eager to be on the pitch again. you couldn't pass judgement there because of course he missed playing, he felt horrible for being at home and not having any way to contribute to the teams victories. so when they gave him the green light for the match against burnley he was ecstatic.

and you were happy for him, but that didn't push your worry to the back of your mind. and then it went south when he was subbed off before half time because he wasn't playing at his best. the entire time he was on the bench he was silent, his thoughts running wild and his heart heavy with disappointment.

you were watching the match from home so you immediate reaction was to message him, his dull responses taking shots at your heart.

when he got home that evening your heart shattered seeing him look so beaten up. all he did was drop his bags and come to lay with you on the couch, his head resting on your chest while you reassured him that everything was going to be fine.

trent barely spoke a word to you until the following afternoon when he got back from his physio assessment, in an even worse state than when he left. he was limping, his head hung low and motivation to do anything at its lowest.

you knew that he just needed some time alone before you tackled the situation, so you gave him his necessary space until he was ready to talk. but then the evening came when his side of the bed was empty, and when you checked your phone you were even more surprised to see that it was only 2 a.m.

you got out of bed in panic, immediately rushing downstairs to look for trent but all the lights were off. he wasn't in the kitchen, the living room or even in the backyard. by now your thoughts were running wild, shear panic settling on your chest until you heard the front door unlock.

trent walked in, his lips pursed. "why are you awake?" he took a few steps closer to you, confusion settling on his face. "do you know what time it is?"

a dry scoff left your lips in disbelief. "I could ask you the same thing."

he went silent, not knowing what to say except apologise but you were fed up. you gave him his space and kept your worry to yourself, not wanting to make him feel any worse than he already did but your patience wore thin.

your expression hardened at the recollection of how distant he'd been the past week. "talk to me. please."

"there's nothing to talk about, I'm fine--"

"--that's absolute bullshit." your tone was harsh and it took him by surprise because you rarely raised your voice at anyone, let alone him.

he took a few weary steps closer only to see the tears walking up in your eyes. oh shit, what has he done?

"no baby, why are you crying?" he asked soothingly and pulled you into his embrace, his hands gently stroking your back in comfort. his heart sunk at the few sniffles from your side, he couldn't believe that his injury had you crying.

you tightened your arms around his torso, an overwhelming feeling of hurt washing over you the more he comforted you. "because you're hurt."

he sighed. "and I'm getting better. the recovery is going well, honey."

you shook your head against his chest. "I'm not talking about your knee trent." you finally pulled away to look up at him with teary eyes, which didn't make him feel any better.

"I know you read the comments, and I know that you're taking them to heart this time but--" you swallowed the bile in your throat, the mere thought of all the hurtful comments having you sick to your stomach. "--but you're not talking to me about it and it makes me feel horrible because they're not true."

trent's heart had just been shattered to pieces, his lips parted in shock because you knew him so damn well. he had been reading the comments, and at first it didn't mean much but the more they came about, the harder it was to push it aside.

honestly the worse 45 minutes anyone had played this season. trent has exited his prime and it's showing.

this is who you guys call the best right back in the league?? have you seen that match against burnley? kyle walker over this dude any day.

he was good until he wasn't. sorry not sorry.

I'm sorry what was that play?? all he had to do was keep the ball for more than 2 seconds. this guy is a joke.

nah get this man out of my club, I can't anymore.

trent my man this is burnley we're talking about. what are you doing??

he's seen it all. and for the first time in years he let the negative comments get to him even though he knew better. and now here you were, standing in front of him teary eyed in the middle of the night because he wasn't man enough to talk to you— his own damn girlfriend.

a heavy sigh disturbed the silence and that was an indicator to you that he was ready to talk. he took your hand and lead you to the couch, making sure that you were settled down comfortably in front of him.

"you know when we played city the away fans were yelling at me when I went to take the corner," he began with a half hearted laugh. "apparently I'm a shit kyle walker."

your grip tightened on his hand instinctively, but you remained silent and listened to him express his concerns and thoughts on the entire ordeal. he brushed the kyle walker thing off and said that he found it rather amusing instead of hurtful.

"but after the arsenal game when I hurt my knee something just snapped I guess. and you were so worried when I got home too so I just wanted to get better because I don't want you to panic over my injuries."

a lump formed in your throat, the tears resurfacing but trent was quick to wipe them away. "and now people are saying that I played like absolute shit against burnley," he shook his head. "which is true by the way."

this was were you grew defensive. "you just came back from injury of course you weren't going to be in the best shape trent."

his eyebrows raised for a moment, a soft chuckle leaving his lips but you didn't find it funny at all. "ever since this whole thing you've been saying my name an awful lot."

that was surprisingly true. you were upset so of course you weren't going to call him something endearing. you were upset!

you cocked you head to the side, a judgemental look on your face that trent didn't want to worsen so he carried on talking. you weren't going to bed until he had everything out.

"anyway," he chuckled. "I've just been feeling really anxious and self conscious because what if they're telling the truth you know? like okay I score goals and I play well but what if that's just me thinking that?"

his breathing had begun to pick up and you were quick to notice, and alarm going off in your mind and telling you that he was nearing tears. trent groaned in frustration and shut his eyes in attempt to push the tears back.

he bent over to put his hands on his knees to try and calm himself down before you started crying as well. your hand was running up and down his back soothingly, only for him to get back up and take refuge in your arms.

everything was finally starting to pool out, and it broke you knowing that he felt this way and hadn't spoken to you because he didn't want you to worry. the dark living room was filled with his silent sobs that you tried to ease until your own started to fall.

you shut your eyes and held trent as close to you as possible, your shirt slightly wet because of his tears. you wondered how the other players felt when something similar happened to them, if they broke down in their partners' arms as well.

it wasn't easy for them to welcome the vulnerability you assumed— especially if it were over something like hate comments. but it was difficult and they were only trying their best.

"It's okay if you cry, baby. there's no need to apologise," you hushed when he said sorry. "It's normal to feel this way, you're human too and I can't tell you not to let those things get to your head but they're not true."

his silent sobs came to a subtle halt but his head remained on your shoulder as he listened to you speak so softly, telling him that everything was okay.

"you know what you're capable of so don't let anyone tell you what you can and can't do. as long as you know that you have people who support you and are rooting for you, nothing else should matter," you retorted reassuringly in hopes that it would help him realise that he didn't have to worry about things he couldn't control.

it was out of his hands, he lead the arsenal match in pain like a proper leader and that showed immense strength. instead of giving up he pulled through and made sure that the team was at their best before thinking about himself.

you put a small kiss to his temple. "I'm so proud of you. every single waking moment of every day, no matter what happens— I will always be proud of you for doing what you can."

this made trent smile when he finally got up to look at you with glossy eyes. "really?"

you nodded eagerly. "you breathe and I want to scream 'that's my boyfriend'."

that got a laugh out of him and he felt his heart strings tug. he loved you so much for standing by his side no matter what, for being patient and for just being you. he was grateful beyond comprehension and sometimes he felt that he didn't express his love for you the correct amount.

you deserved so much and here you were comforting him at the dead of night because he got insecure. his heart was overflowing just for you.

trent put his hand on your cheek and wiped away the stray tear that fell. "I'm sorry for making you worry. if I do it again just kick me out."

you laughed and his heart exploded. "oh, definitely. pull a stunt like this again and I'll feed you to the wolves."

his eyes widened a fraction. "okay, that's a bit too far."

you disagreed wholeheartedly and told him that it was the only correct form of punishment for the heart attacks that he gave you. "my heart broke like five times in this past week trent, so no."

he hummed and leant in for a kiss. "I'll fix it again I promise."

you felt yourself melt at the touch of his lips on yours— a tender kiss that held so much sincerity and love, an apology slipping through along with a silent I love you.

he pulled away and took a moment to look at you, drinking in every bit of your presence silently to which you hit him on the arm, a giddy smile and blush having you weak in the knees whereas he was mesmerised, not even realising that you had been trying to get his attention for a bit.

"earth to trent," you called and waved your hand in front of your face but he quickly caught it and pulled you closer to him, a yelp leaving your mouth before laughing.

"call me 'trent' one more time and we're going to have a problem," he said through a smile but you just played along, finding it amusing.

"oh really?" your tone was playful and he wasn't having any of it. "well trent wouldn't-- ah!"

your boyfriend had you lying on the couch in a fit of giggles, him hovering over you as he tickled you but stopping every so often to litter kisses on your face which you weren't fighting at all. because everyone needed a little love, right?

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