#and hook all wet

[devilsxhook]

this man is on another planet

[dootznbootz]

You know that after every shitty retelling release that mischaracterizes Odysseus, he goes up to Penelope with big weepy eyes like "You know I love you, right? (╯︵╰,) I know [insert whatever the new bullshit is] says I don't but I do."

She has to reassure him that she knows he does and that she loves him too.

[softquietsteadylove]

hello birdie 🖤✨

If you still take requests: I just saw a new Instagram post from Don Lee with an Hello Kitty umbrella.

So can I ask for some cute Gilgamesh? Maybe with mentioned umbrella.

🖤✨ Hugs and Love ✨🖤

Gil let out a satisfied 'ah!' as he finished his ramyun. He didn't miss Korea when he wasn't here, and he didn't look forward to visiting when they did. But he had to admit that convenience stores back home just couldn't compare to the ones here.

He didn't have to be biding time in a random convenience store. He was still someone of business here. He could have been at a bar, at a restaurant, enjoying a reserved booth at the races. But in truth, he didn't want anything to do with the business here. He didn't want to be associated with his family name.

And he was on vacation.

Thena and Imo were at some spa, enjoying some ladies bonding time. He was happy to leave them to it. He had strolled through some markets, watched tv from the window of a shop like the cranky old men in the neighbourhood. And when it started raining, he came in here.

There were magazines and comics to read, snacks, and eventually he had sat down with a whole cup of noodles--even melted some cheese on it. Thena had limited his home stash of it out of fear for his sodium levels. Men here wouldn't believe it--that a man of business was letting someone control what he ate.

But he liked that his wife wanted him to be in healthy condition.

Gil looked out the window again. It still wasn't letting up. Thena had said she would call him when she and Imo were leaving the place and on their way to pick him up. And it had only been an hour--for all he knew, that kind of thing could take two or three.

"Please!"

Gil turned and looked with wide eyes. The outburst was noticeable in the small store with no one else inside. It was the middle of the day; what was such a tiny voice doing alone?

The cashier shook his head, though. "It's not enough."

There was a little girl standing in front of the counter. She had an umbrella tucked into her elbow, counting out every won she had. "But it's all I have."

Gil got up from the counter, tossing his ramen cup in the trash and straightening his suit jacket. The cashier saw him coming from a mile away and braced himself. He obviously still looked like he was in the business, even with his tattoos as covered as possible. He pointed, "come on, man, isn't it close enough?"

The cashier shook his head. "I'm sorry, sir, it's not nearly enough for the umbrella."

Gil leaned over and peeked. He was right, she had barely enough for a musubi and some candy. He looked down at the kid, who looked up at him without an ounce of fear in her eyes. "Is this the one you want?"

She paused for a second, considering what she should tell him. Ultimately, she pointed to the stand with other umbrellas, for kids and adults. "I want that one."

"Which one? Show me," Gil nodded. The kid had no fear of him, though, waddling back to the stand with her current pick. She put that plain pink one back and reached for a hello kitty one.

"This one," she declared, waving it around. It was a little big for her, at her age. Or maybe she was just small, even for a child.

"Yeah?" Gil mumbled. He reached to look at the price of it. He looked down at the kid. "Pretty expensive."

Her little cheeks puffed up indignantly. "But eonni promised if I did her housework while she went out with her friends that she would give me the money for it."

"She did, did she?" Gil chuckled. The girl's sister was a scammer, plain and simple. She'd given her innocent kid sister a few bucks to shut her up and keep her dirty secrets. He pulled the umbrella out of the kid's grasp.

"Hey!"

"Oi, listen," he directed in his best stern Ajushi voice. "First: you're never gonna do anything for your sister again--I don't care what she promises."

"But she has to go shopping every-"

"Ah!" he cut the little girl off. Still, she showed no fear of him. Some annoyance, for sure, but no nerves. He crouched down, pointing his finger in her face. "She doesn't have to do any of that shit. She's lying."

The little girl gasped, hand to her mouth and everything. Probably at both his language and the revelation about her sister.

"No doing anything for her, unless you get the goods, got it?" he smirked. "That means she takes you there and she buys you the thing you want herself. Puts it in your hands, got it?"

The girl let him press the umbrella into both her hands, even shaking her into a little laughter. She nodded sharply, "yes!"

"Second: tell her that just because you have this now, doesn't mean her secrets are safe," Gil continued to advise as he reached into his jacket to pull out his wallet. He never carried cash around at home, but the kid was in luck. "You have what's called leverage: that means you have the advantage. If anything, she should be doing stuff for you."

The cashier watched the exchange nervously. He had his confirmation that Gil wasn't just some well meaning - well dressed - man enjoying a snack.

"And thirdly," Gilgamesh stood but leaned down to hand the kid the money, "tell him you want a receipt."

The girl took his instruction deeply seriously. She stood on her toes to hand the cashier the money (in a denomination she had never seen before). "I'd like a receipt, please."

The cashier nodded, hands shaking as he accepted the bill. He looked at Gilgamesh, silently pleading for help.

Gil narrowed his eyes at the guy. "Give her the change, man."

The girl held out her little hands, accepting the remaining money with starry eyes. "It's so much."

"Keep it," Gil excused easily as he took the umbrella and unwrapped it. "And don't tell your sister--or your parents. That's just for you."

"Thanks Mister!"

"Yeah, yeah," he held his hand to guide the girl out as she shoved the money into the little hello kitty coin purse she had. The automatic doors slid open and he looked back at the cashier, "just take care of her next time she's in here."

The cashier nodded, pale as a ghost.

Gil opened the umbrella over them both. "You like this cat, huh?"

"She's my favourite!"

Gil chuckled. Kids had it so easy. But he liked the idea that the hardest thing in this kid's life was an annoying older sister. He focused on holding the umbrella over his short companion, letting his left side get thoroughly rained on. "You in school?"

"Yeah."

"You good?"

"Hm," the little girl twisted her mouth.

"Yeah, me too," Gil laughed. The girl seemed relieved she wouldn't get a scolding for not being studious. "I wasn't good at math, or science."

She nodded, wide eyed that someone else shared her weakness.

"But that's okay," he shrugged down at her. "Just make a friend who's good at those things who can help you."

"A friend?"

What, did this kid not have friends? Maybe she was too nice and always letting others walk all over her. Gil bent slightly and smiled. "I've got a friend who's super good at math, and science. We work together, and she does way better than I do."

"Really?"

"Really," he confirmed. "We're a great team. And wanna know something?"

The girl nodded, making her pigtails move.

Gil grinned from ear to ear, "she's my wife, now."

"Really?" the kid gasped, her eyes going starry again.

Gil crouched down again, pulling out his phone. "She looks like a princess and everything."

The kid leaned over his phone, her mouth wide open. "She's so pretty!"

"She sure is," Gil huffed with pride in his chest. "She's the prettiest in the whole world. She's coming to pick me up."

"Don't you have your own car?"

What a rude question--he loved it. He stood again, groaning as his knees cracked. "We're here visiting my family. I have a car back home where we live together."

"Ah," the girl nodded, although he kind of felt like she didn't believe him. "Eonni!"

Gil looked up. Indeed, a persnickety looking teenager was walking over to them. He had no intention of beefing with another, only slightly older kid, but he didn't exactly smile at her.

"What are you doing talking to creepy old men?!" her sister barked at her from a distance.

"He's a nice ajushi," the girl defended from her position next to him. "He got me the umbrella. You told me it was enough but it wasn't!"

Actually, the sister had definitely sent this kid - without umbrella - in the rain to the store just to get her own umbrella, knowing she had set her up for failure? Man, business was business but that was low.

"Whatever, let's go," the teenager waved to hurry her.

Gil gave the teen another look before bending down and putting the umbrella in the kid's hand. "Remember everything I told you."

"Yes, sir!" she gave him her most respectful bow before tottering over to her sister, who immediately turned around and started heading home now that her attache was acquired.

Gil shook his head. He hoped the kid enjoyed her hundreds and kept them to herself. And if her parents did find out they wouldn't believe her anyway. Or rather, if they did, he wasn't going to be around for them to complain about it.

He pulled out his phone again. He hadn't needed to pull up a picture--Thena was already his background. She was in a pretty dress with fur around her shoulders and red lipstick. She said the colour was champagne or something like that; he had boldly claimed that only she could be beautiful enough to call plain old 'beige' champagne and make it look good.

They had been in Russia for an event, although he was pretty sure she had sneakily introduced him to some associates - maybe even family - of hers. He was trying to learn, but the Russian alphabet was really kicking his ass.

"You're good with kids."

He slipped his phone away with a grin. "You think so?"

Thena walked towards him, her own umbrella in hand, faintly white, casting an angelic glow down on her hair.

Gil received her, kissing her cheek and putting his hand at her back. "You look all sparkly."

"You think so?" she laughed, although she lavished in his affection as opposed to pulling away. She had missed him too. "Imo told me I had to try all these skin treatments they had. I'm starting to think I"m aging poorly."

"You're stunning," he pressed his lips to her cheek again. She felt all smooth and cool to the touch, too. "In fact, I told a little girl I was married to a princess. She seemed pretty starstruck."

"Lying to the youth," Thena shook her head at him with a grin. "Although the umbrella did suit you."

"I know it did." He liked things that contrasted his looks. It emphasized just how cool and tough he really was.

"Come on," she tugged at his blazer, avoiding the side of it that was now wet. "Let's get you home. You know Imo will scold you for this."

He sighed, following Thena under her umbrella to the car service. "What doesn't she scold me for? She'll probably tell me I should have gone to the spa just so I could hold your towel for you."

"She would not."

She would so. But Gil put his hand on Thena's waist. "I'm glad you had a good time."

"Hey."

Gil leaned in by reflex, pressing his lips to hers. He felt pretty neutral about Korea, he liked seeing Imo, and he liked visiting his mom. He hated having to do business with his dad. And the convenience stores were okay. And maybe he liked getting called Ajushi by a nice kid in a convenience store.

Thena pulled away, putting her fingers on his chin. She got that cat eyed look as she stared straight into his soul. "Hm."

"What?" This wouldn't be good.

"You had ramen--I can taste it on you."

[bloomblanche]

I made both of these on two separate nights and I'm-

If I had a dollar for every time a squid left their musical group to form another one with an octopus in Splatoon, I would probably have enough money to buy myself a snack from the gas station.

[joelletwo]

Thought thats applied to like three or four different contexts this week -> gintama is about having guys in you

[thatsmylog]

30 Years of The Crow :: 30 moments that rewired my tiny mind

(part 1/9)

[marisatomay]

I got bad news for you honey lol

[ratatatastic]

"And we were asking just Carter [Verhaeghe] about this—the insane scene that was the parade because it's... I was sitting in a safe spot, I was in a restaurant, second-level, and I'm just watching the lightning crash all over the place! The rain's coming down and everybody's just so happy and acting like maniacs! What is the thing that you immediately go to when you think about Parade Day?" "Just... having a blast, like no worries! Just enjoying it, you know? A lot of people ask me what was the most fun thing about winning. And I always say, like, the first night when the families came to the locker room. We shared a moment, everybody was so happy—moms, dads, kids, grandfathers, grandmothers—everybody wanted to come, was there. But the parade? Same thing: we had the buses, it was really good organisation, the whole thing—there was families in the buses. We had so much fun! It rained, didn't matter. You know, we're not made of sugar! We went through it but overall it was such a fun day to be able to share with the whole city and the whole South Florida!"

Tobin & Leroy Show | 9.20.24 (x)

[ereborne]

Song of the Day: August 14

“Rain" by Sleep Token

[coridallasmultipass]

You're having a better day than me.

[fetabathwater]

having the flu sucks. my time is consumed by sleep and watching 1 season shows that got cancelled with all the right hooks because some reviewers are stupid as HELL.

[perilegs]

google show me mahariel/merrill t4t sex

[aropride]

how the fuck do u wash a weighted blanket

[bibleofficial]

not me going ‘yes !’ bc i’m relieved that i got gonorrhea again last MAY bc that means i’m STILL eligible for the monkey pox vaccine let’s GOOOOO

[gojosprettyprincess]

Yuji bouncing you on his cock . ۫ ꣑ৎ .

Both are twenty n hints of overstimulation. Not proofread

“Yujiii- slow down!”

“Can’t stop, fuck! Hahh- Feels too good mmm” he pants breathly, unable to contain the ecstasy bubbling inside him as he relentlessly pounds his hips up into your warm pussy with so much fervor and intensity that you could feel every inch of sexual desire coursing through you, the rhythmic motion creating an lewd connection between the two of you as one of his hand kneads into your plushy ass—sneezing it as two perverted fingers hooked deep into your puckering asshole, wiggling it around as his sturdy cock was hitting all the sensitive parts inside your needy cunt that made your eyes screwed shut as your head fall back.

Wet squelching sounds filled the atmosphere. He was bouncing you up and down on his rigid cock so quickly, didn’t even give you any time to adjust to his thick length before he lost control to the feeling of your sweet pussy snugly squeezing his cock, he was fingerfucking your tight asshole so sloppy with absolutely no rhythm but oh, you felt so fucking full, your juices were dripping all over his lap. He was so nasty, you two have only had sex a few times and he's already so addicted.

“Mmm! This pussy is so good, fuckfuckfuckkk never felt so good before! You're squeezing me so tightly hahh-” he babbles against your pretty tits, he’s just as fucked out as you are—it’s like he turnt into some mindless sex zombie. Tears prickled in your eyes as you cried out from pure overstimulation.

“Yu-yujiii stop! M’gonna cum if y-you—fuck! Keep going. ohmygodd” you moaned out, your finger nails digging angry marks into his shoulder blades as your tight possessive walls clamped around his dick, leaking all over his veiny shaft as it dripped onto his fat balls.

If he wasn’t so busy fondling your bouncing tits with his face, you’d might have gotten the chance to witness the way his eyes were rolling back to your utterance. His dick twitches with need, his weeping tip hitting your g-spot over and over, he hisses as he felt the fingers that he had stuffing your ass grazing through the thin layer separating your pussy—making everything so much tighter. Sweat drips down his forehead as the air reeked of sex.

“Y-yeah?? Cum on my cock, please! Need you to do it again fuck—wanna feel you creaming all over me!” He babbles manically, he quickly pulls his long fingers out of your tight hole unexpectedly, making you hiss slightly because of how sudden it was, before stuffing both of them into his mouth—making you mewl in disgust as he swirled his tongue around his fingers with a low hum. His hand quickly found its way back to your ass again, both of them gripping and squeezing the flesh as he lifts your ass up and dropped you down on his thick cock harder, the way he was manhandling your body made your mind soo dizzy. His forearm muscles bulging as he supported your weight effortlessly. Your back arched slightly as his tip nudges against the spot that made you feel like your soul with levitating from your body. You brought a hand down to rub little circles on your aching clit before your cunt gushed all over his cock, you screamed as he fucked the juices out of your soaked hole, his balls, thighs everywhere was a wet mess.

He whimpered as he latched his lip onto one of your tits—making you squeak as your finger quickly flew to the back of his head, he muffly groaned against you before he emptied his tight balls into your sensitive cunt, his mouth leaving your nipple with a loud pop!

“Fuckfuckfuck m’cumming! Take it, God—take all of it, nghh” he cried out as his fingers dugged crescent shapes into your ass cheeks.

Your pussy flutters as his seed filled you up, he was so deep inside your pussy that you were almost worried that he might have gotten you pregnant.

“Fuck…your pussy is like heaven” he grunts before stilling himself inside of you. Both of you are so fucked out as you try to catch your breath. You whined as his cum leaks out of you slowly. “Can-can we please go for another round??”. He begged, puppy dog eyes stared up at you as you felt his cock hardened once again.

[lumibuns-blog]

Most desperate things the 141 boys have done for sex because I can't stop thinking about it <3

John's begged for it. I mean on his hands and knees begging for a taste. I know this man is an avid pussy pronoun user too. He has been on his knees in front of you as you sit pretty on his couch, trailing kisses up your soft belly to your tits and then back down to your thighs.

"C'mon sweet girl lemme' 'ave a taste of 'er yeah? Know she fuckin' needs me hm? Just look at tha'" as he runs a thumb of the wetness that's seeped through you thin panties, just waiting for you to say the words and let him tear them off.

He knows if anybody else in the 141 or if any of his fellow soldiers could see him now, the Captain Price practically drooling over you and sweet talking your cunt like it could hear him they would have a fit. But he couldn't care less because you looked so fucking good right now so "just let 'er 'ave what she wants alright sweet thing?"

I just know Kyle has spent 70% of his last month's pay check on hotel room because the 5 star pent house suite was the only hotel room in your area left available during the holidays. He played it cool with an arm around your waist assuring you it was fine, acting like this was the room he wanted to get, not the one he was forced to have. But if he was being forced to do anything thank god it was spoiling you.

"Don't worry 'bout it love. Just make 'urself comfortable" He'll say in a sultry sweet tone, planting kisses up the side of your neck before excusing himself to the lavish bathroom to check his bank account. He had to make sure he still had enough to buy you a nice breakfast in the morning.

And you're already layed out so pretty for him on the bed so he's not complaining about anything. Especially not the mirror situated on the ceiling right above the bed. Oh and don't you dare suggest splitting the cost, "just split your legs for me hun, 's all ya need to do"

Johnny is eager, like so so eager. When a passionate make out session on your couch got even more heated than either of you had previously expected and he now had his fingers playing with the waistband of your skirt, letting his cold finger tips splay themselves just below. When he got to the hem of your panties and began to hook a finger into the lace you had to stop him,

"Johnny"

"Yea?" He was breathless, chasing your lips when you pulled away to talk. You almost felt bad for separating but if he was going to touch you, there was one request you needed to make. You had felt his nails drag across your thighs moments earlier, it felt wonderful but they were...a little long.

"Do ya nae want this hen?" He'd ask, looking at you like you were a piece of art. Pleading with his eyes, shining like they'd spill tears if you said yes.

"No, no I want this, I want you so so much. It's just..." you trailed off

"Tell me what's wrong bonnie and I'll fix it, yeah?" his hands kept you grounded to his lap either a soft grip on you ass.

"It's just- you're nails, they're a little long" your request was nothing more than whisper.

'Oh' Johnny knew he probably should have just asked for clippers, but you felt so damn good on his lap. He could feel your warm cunt through the zipper of his jeans and with your tits brushing against his chest he couldn't bring himself to move.

You watched in shock as he just began to just tear his nails off with his teeth. Without a second thought his pointer and middle finger nails were bit off to the skin. He paused and looked at his right hand before ripping off the index finger as well.

"Johnny what's gotten into you-?"

But he's already got his hands back down your skirt. Soft finger tips slipping between your folds. "Feel better now eh?" And when you just nuzzled your nose into his neck and let out a little whimper he chuckled "I'll take tha' as a yes"

Simon swallows his pride for the first time in his life for a chance at hitting it raw. You tell him it's okay to not use protection, that you're on birth control. But you needed to make sure that he didn't have any stds seeing as they're even more of a pain when you're on birth control. Not that you don't trust him you just want to make sure and it's not a problem for him seeing as he has to get tested every other week being in the military.

He doesn't, however, have his records on him at the moment and with a girl already lying in his bed telling him he can cum inside. Plus a raging hard on, he doesn't exactly feel like running back to base to get the paper work. So...next best thing.

"Price-"

"Rare for ya to call on leave Simon, whatchya need?" Price responds, his voice cracking through the face time call, a cigar dangling from his lips.

"Sir I need..." he looks back at you, your eyes expectant and shining. You wanted him and he wasn't going to fuck this up. "Can you send me a picture of my last med check results?" He rushes out the last part, elbow on his knee and hand dragging over his face.

Price quirks one eyebrow but doesn't look like he's going to ask any questions. Unlucky for Simon though, Johnny was also in the room. His voice distantly coming through the phone,

"The feck ya need those for l.t.?" He questioned

Simon just groaned, soap's addition to this call just made it even more frustrating. But he snapped out of his frustration at the sound of price opening his file cabinet. "What part?" Price asked, dismissing Johnny with a wave of his hand.

"The-" Simon began, this was fucking embarrassing but when he looked back to you, now perched on your hands and knees, the plush of you hips resting on your ankles, he'd do anything at this point. "STD results." He responded plainly.

"Aye! No fuckin' way mate!" The sound of a chair scraping the floor could be heard as Johnny began to clammer over to his captain who pulled the sheet from his files.

"Ya didn't tell me he was in the room" Simon growled

"Ya didn't ask" Price droned

Johnny's head popped into frame "show me what she looks like ey l.t?"

"Not happening" Simon deadpanned

"Aw c'monnnn" The sergeant whined "just proud of you for finally getting some action!"

"Enough." Simon could see you biting your lip to stifle a laugh out of the corner of his eyes, a curious look in your eyes at his reddened face.

"Sent a picture to ya Simon" Price huffed, letting Johnny give him one last "good luck!" Before hanging up the phone.

You were a mess of giggles as he just shook his head and shoved the phone results in your face for you to look at. "See. Clean."

"Okay okay" you giggled, finally letting his form eclipse you back onto the pillows

"Went through a hell of a lot of trouble for ya, sweet girl" he whispered, nipping at the shell of your ear.

"I'll make it worth it" you said, kissing the corner of his lip and tangling your fingers in the back of his hair

"Christ woman" he groaned, feeling his cock twitch at your promise, "gunna' be the death a' me"