#and honestly i dont remember enough of the show to be like “this is right” but this is how i interpet them
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Kinda saw a post Abt how Hannibal is the only one who loves will for everything he is but I don't really agree with that. I think he loved the idea of what Will could be. He liked the darker instincts Will could foster, and I think that he believes that's who Will truly is but. I don't really agree with that, Will can be good. Maybe not kind but he could've lived even without acknowledging that instinct. I believe that repeating things changes who you are, and when you keep being exposed to violence and death and having to see the beauty in corpses that just messes you up. And Hannibal loves to mess Will up, because he needed someone to stand with him. To understand him.
#hannibal#probably a hot take#and honestly i dont remember enough of the show to be like “this is right” but this is how i interpet them#if you think different youre absolutely valid#i just wanted to put this out there#hannibal lecter#will graham#hannigram#oh right and theres the thing mads said about how hannibal saw a future with will#but did he see the present?
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if i might bitch about work for a second: yesterday was hellishly bad despite being able to keep up with it and i found out that apparently our department made 4600 dollars yesterday which is making me angry beyond belieffffffff
#this is math i do fairly often bc i enjoy ho-hum math and hate my job and like#even if we took off 2000 bucks for overhead costs which feels excessive but i will concede it#that would be enough to pay everyone working a little over 860 dollars which is 300 more than what i make in a WEEK#literally WHEREEEEE IS IT WHERE IS IT GOING WHERE IS IT#i dont like following this logic through because on days where there are fewer orders we;d do less#and i disagree with gig work's implementation as ive seen it and i think that would stress people out worse than we already are#(which is significantly)#but at the same time. 850 dollars. i cant afford to buy groceries this week. 850 dollars...#can i get a BONUS or SOMETHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#it makes me soooo angry i was talking to one of the deli guys who asked for a raise and got denied mid-question#before our director accidentally showed him that their department is four thousand of gods own dollars under labor#its so revolting to me i talk to so many people in this store who are terrified because of medical bills or rent or car shit#half my department works two jobs just to get by and ALL OF THEM drive junkers#honestly one of the things thats scaring me about if i actually move out is that i do rely on...living with my mom#i pay for most of my own food i pay an absurd amount of rent to share a room with her but she's willing to drive me to work#even though i've offered to walk multiple times and she REALLY should prioritize her own time more#but at the same time...not having to pay for rides has been carrying me hard#if i got a car i'd be fucked because those things bleed money and generally ethically i disagree with cars#but if i dont its like okay pony up the money learn to navigate buses (except for sunday when they dont run) or get ready#to walk to your job where you walk all day and then walk home in the dark#which. i love walking. and listening to music on my own while walking. so bad example. but i also love not having my feet hurt#all the time always no matter what im doing which is something im becoming increasingly unfamiliar with#its like. ultimately. something's gonna get fucked no matter what#and then i hear a figure like 4600 and i remember how avoidable all of this shit is. how avoidable it is for ANY of us#our ceo is gonna walk away from this merger attempt with 5 billion dollars in safety-cushion money#the 10 top execs beneath him with 1 billion#and its just so. what can you even do. 5 billion. can a number like that even mean anything? how could you possibly need that much#850 dollars would be a lifechanging amount of money for me right now and im not even one of the worst off#its just. god. this world could be anything but what it is but its this and for what
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∆∆∆
#i honestly feel more anticipation over finding out if that one blog with a cousin is real or not#cause if tommy doesnt one scene or isnt in tmr's episode ill know for sure not to listen to them at all#like some of the stuff theyve said has been proven right but its also i think important to remember that sometimes people can just#make educated guesses it could just be there will be content or interviews and its like well there were but were you just guessing based#on what other people said ? or do you actually have a cousin ?#im not putting a lot of stock into it at all yknow im old enough to know not to trust randoms on the internet#its just been nagging at me for a while bc on the one hand i dont think b/ddie has absolutely been taken off the table#at least in terms of everyone on set knows it wont. i think tim is just going with the flow so their insistence#that they KNOW it wont happen feels fake-ish but does that also mean the rest of what they're saying is fake too?#like tommy wont be in the premiere and there isnt talks of them continuing this relationship#girl i have trust issues with this show and fandom im always like “well youre probably lying... but then again...” lol
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A list of all the things I have manifested ⋆˚⟡˖ ࣪
We manifest everything in our lives btw - the good and the bad which is why I will be including both to prove that the law does not discriminate. If you can successfully become poor, you can most definately become rich with the same ease because everything is just a state.
Long hair
AHH this is one of my favourite manifestations. Ever since I was young I had a weird bob with a fringe (often crooked) and I wanted long hair like all the other girls (lmaoo) but my mum was strict so she didn't let me grow it out. Although I didn't know about manifestation back then, every new year and birthday I would wish for long hair and I would pretend I was a princess with butt long hair. Guess what, somewhere along the line, my mum let me grow it out and now I have butt length hair (don't really know what to do with it tho </3).
As all kids do, I went through an emo phase where I chopped off like half of my hair like 4 years ago. I literally grew back 7-8" of hair within a month because my parents got too mad. I knew about manifestation here so I just assumed my hair always grows unaturally fast. Same with when I cut bangs, they grew past my chin within a couple of weeks.
Manifesting my way into a private school
Honestly this just shows that you dont need 2430430 hours of working on your self concept to manifest. Literally so many celebs, including Marylin Monroe (the queen), manifested their fame with awful self concept. Likewise, here I was possibly going through the worst time of my life back then. I would wake up at 8 am and start studying and end at 11 pm despite being only 10 at the time. I was so freaking stressed and envious of all the other children and went into a depressive spiral where my two options were pass or die. I didn't even have enough practice and I cried my self to sleep on most nights. Anyways, when i did the exam I was deathly calm and even after the exam I was apparently so chill so my parents thought I failed.
I literally left 9 questions on one paper but throughout the summer, everytime I found a dandelion I would make a wish and imagine digging a tunnel to the examiners room where I secretly change my answers into the right ones (lmfao my tiny 10 yr old brain - idek how it worked). Anyways my results were sent back to me a month later on a random October evening and I got a really high mark. Even after 7 years of going to this school I havn't met anyone who has gotten a mark higher than mine.
Curly hair / straight hair
Sigh. We always want things we don't have. When I was younger I had really straight hair like 1A asian hair but when I was like 10, I really wanted curly hair and I would try to curl it often. After a few months, I manifested a curling iron and my hair literally became naturally curly like right after a wash it would curly af when before it was dead straight. Naturally I grew bored of it and I wanted my straight hair back and for ages I began overcomplicating the law and struggled to manifest it. It was only recently when I actually let go of the 3D that I manifested the silky, shiny straight hair.
Social life?
This is also a funny one, just shows how easily you can manifest. So back in 2021 after lockdown I felt so lonely and felt so left out of my friendship group so after a few months I began stressing myself out and spiraling for like 30 minutes, sobbing to myself about how I was so lonely and how nobody loved me (💀). Anyways it became reality, I found myself uncomfortable in many social situations and found myself becoming forgotten far more easily. I don't really remember the details but it was so bad that I think I accidently manifested social anxiety (oh well we still up tho).
However I am a loa girly so I found myself listening to popularity subliminals and slowly (but surely) my mindset change from having no friends to being the most popular girl in the year. Like no joke I became friends with like 3 people from different social circles so at lunchtime we had to join up like 3 different tables so we can all sit together. Overall I got myself 20+ close friends and even my ex friends began to admire me although it had ended badly. Even now, when someone says something thats untrue - for example saying that they are dumb when they are not, they would be like "ahaha so its like when Rae (me) says she has no friends, the whole school knows who Rae is".
Clear skin
This was sort of in the beginning of my loa (law of attraction back then) journey, I just randomly found out what subliminals were and was still quite new to everything. Now I don't even understand how it happened but I had busted some capillaries under my skin and it looked like small red viens under my skin and bro I was freaking out at the time. One night I was like just, I had enough, I'm going to get myself better skin and so I listened to a sub once for 3-4 days and on like the 4th day, my cheeks began to heat up which was odd and the next day it was 90% gone. Just like magikkkk.
Desired university?
Guys. Feeling is the secret. Don't you ever forgot that - not feeling as in emotions but rather the feeling of knowing. I had 2 entrance exams to do to apply for my universities and it was a stressful time where I wasn't getting enough sleep and wasn't eating enough simply because I didn't have the time. Like I come home from school and would have 3-4 hours of homework, then I need to revise for tests and then the remaining time would be spent on the entrance exams. Each past paper took 2 hours and I have around 13s per questions and I was already struggling on time. Anyways, I began to hate them and I would often complain to my mum saying things like "My score got even lower!!" or "I hate it so much" or "My head hurts / eyes hurt".
Guess what? Not only did I see my score decrease over time but I also made such a silly mistake on the most important entrance exam which I needed for 4/5 of my universities. I left a question and completely forgot to mark on the answer so when I finished the section I realised I had one more space on the sheet with like 10s to spare. I didn't have enough time to go back and fix it and lemme say that I did so badly in the test. Even while waiting for results I was just like "ah it would be a miracle if I scored above this bla bla".
I got the score back and it was so freaking bad like I did not stand a chance at my university at all. However, I started to affirm for a place and to my utter shock and surprise my desired university reached out and offered me an interview. I knew people who had like scores which were 50% better than mine and they still got rejected pre-interview. Anyways I began stressing about the interview and the results of the whole thing and boom. I got rejected 3 days after my birthday lmaoo. But its okay because I'm reapplying and I learnt so much more. I'm redoing the entrance exam and my score is a loooot better than it ever was last year.
A key take away would be thoughts are the result of the state you are in. Your dwelling state manifests and I was focusing on the unrealness and the difficultly of getting into this uni and thats what manifested. At the time I was heartbroken and literally went through the 7 stages of grief and spent so many months trying to revise it only for me to focus on the 3D. Just know that everything is done in imagination and it appears in the 3D as a result.
Photographic memory
So this is also something I had manifested before I actually knew about loa but the takeaway here is that manifestation is always instant. I was around 11 reading a random book on my tiny kindle and the book was on how to develop a good memory and I was like ah that'll be useful. Anyways later in the car, I asked my dad about photographic memory and he sort of explained it to me. I just assumed that I have that and I told him I do. He just laughed at me and said thats something that you have to train for and I was not impressed lmao. Inside my tiny brain, I was just like nope, I already have photographic memory and I dropped that thought. Let me tell you, my memory is actually photographic and has helped me out on so many occasions like my brain just takes pictures of things.
Learning fast
This is also something I did before I knew loa, I was just always wondering why the other kids couldn't grasp concepts as easily as I did. Literally in every lesson I would be like ah I learn so fast and now I am actually blessed with the ability to grasp complex subjects so fast. A favourite example of mine would be when I was obsessed with music but to take it to a higher level you need to be able to play an instrument. I couldn't at the time and my teacher told me the requirements a week before the actual deadline. I have never actually played piano with both hands but one day I sat down and worked through the entire song (fur elise by Beethoven) which is a grade 5 (I think) and it normally takes people months / weeks to learn. I learnt the whole thing in 3 days and from then on, I could play piano like I had been doing for ages. Again the memory thing was so helpful because I never actually used any sheet music, I learnt it off a youtube video and I remembered every single note I needed to play.
Hourglass body + 22" waist
This was a couple of years ago when I actually didn't understand loa. Anyways long story short, I would do a 3 minute workout and then flex infront of the mirror all day (💀) and be like omg I have abs. Overtime, I actually got so skinny everyone around me kept pointing it out to me and my mum got so concerned that she took me to the doctor like 4 times. It was so funny, I would loose like 2-3kg overnight and my parents would have to buy better fitting uniform.
Bigger boobs
This was also back in the day (2021?) when I didn't understand how to manifest things easily af. I had an A cup but I wanted better boobies and I listened to like 2 subs for a week and I went to a B cup. But I just assumed I have a bigger cup size recently and I just skipped C and went to D+ (haven't measured in a long time).
I'm not done but I'm tired now bye bye
#loassumption#manifesting#manifesation#loa success#loa tumblr#loa#self concept#void#successstories#void state#affirming loa#void success#neville goddard#law of assumption blog#law of attraction#law of assumption
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#ah. my parents would have an easier time if i could do this#oh. maybe my friends would like me more if i did that#huh. id belong more if i wasnt like this...#diary#personal#i keep thinking more and more lately how people would like me more if i was just a bit different in some places#like or#or even just#and really. it always make me think just how fucking worthless i am? like. if only all these people knew someone else#i keep on thinking and thinking and thinking about just how utterly useless i am#i... always act certain ways and do certain things and put up walls here and there with everyone around me#i cant remember a time i havent done this. ive always his myself. especially from my parents.#maybe thats why i only ever am completely okay and comfortable alone#i think for some people there just is simply no peace in others. at all.#and i sometimes think. that perhaps nobody truly knows me at all? perhaps they just see this fucking illusion i created#i... dont really like showing the person underneath. and i certain wont show it.#idk. sometimes i just think no one seems to quite perfectly understand me and what i want.#idk. honesty i just wish someone else better than me would replace me. bc im no good really. i wasnt built quite right#idk. ive tried really hard. but im sorta still invisible. unimportant. and while in some ways i truly enjoy life#its just not enough. not even close. i honestly wasnt built to exist like this i think. i think im sorta like a shooting star maybe?#brilliant and short-lived before i blow up spectacularly and just burn. like maybe theres some remnants left but not enough#idk. just a thought. if i could be replaced by anyone else id probably take it. i dont matter much anyways.
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good morning im politely requesting people look at my post abt how the ancients see each other
under the cut some closeups + a ton of additional thoughts
hollyberry + golden cheese are also part of the crew of 'thinking pv is a bit naive', but he's also the most emotionally intelligent out of all of them and incredibly empathetic and thats something they both respect a whole lot .
dark cacao on the flipside can see how much of a mental toll being empathetic can be
white lily seems to have the most "whole" thought of pv - which would make sense, she's been with him the longest and has seen every facet that is pv. but even still her worries that he's too trusting of her are eating away at her thoughts- as such a pv shapeshifter made of her subconscious Would be way more naive .
in my head white lily's pv would be the last shapeshifter and in order to tell the difference between them white lily would ask if he ever doubted her . the real pv would say that he definitely struggled and had been lost and confused- but ultimately trusts her above all else . vs the shapeshifter who would just say "no I'd never doubt you" .
i didnt have room for it but i think dark cacao also recognizes hollyberrys seriousness . if you get drunk with someone enough times you'll start to piece together the really vulnerable moments you had with eachother . i think hollyberry and dark cacao have the closest relationship and im not saying this because im in love with both of them
golden cheese has a bit of a recollection issue and you can see that with hollyberry + cacao the most. golden cheese reminisces a Lot and that affects how she remembers the othera . hollyberrys is a bit of a trickier thing but in this instance golden cheese doesnt remember the braids. she knows hollyberry has a different outfit than before but doesn't pay it much mind
you might have noticed the pattern at this point of pure vanilla having a bit of a cutesy interpretation of all the ancients. he loves his friends so much that he has a bit of a harder time being critical of them. he thinks dark cacaos seriousness/grumpiness is endearing. to be honest its partly an inverse of shadow milks interpretation of the ancients (simple and positive vs simple and negative) but that wasnt entirely intentional. just interesting to notate now that im thinking of it
hollyberrys dark cacao is a bit of an inverse also to what i was talking about with dark cacaos hollyberry . shes seen the sweeter more heartfelt side of dark cacao and that shines through to her
if it wasnt for the outfit + hair, golden cheese's dark cacao would have probably been the last shape shifter standing
and i will stand by the dragon cacao headcanon till the day i die
golden cheese's was fun to think about bc of the little details that are different between the different shapeshifters- specifically in the neck area (bc thays the only portion you guys get to see) . dark cacaos is a bit more of a hanbok style, white lily has a turtleneck thing kind of happening, etc etc. i think pure vanilla has the most accurate idea of what she looks like .
i think white lilys interestingly enough would be the last one standing because i honestly dont think her golden cheese would even be talking with her :(( so we'd only really find out the difference when white lily's gc is forced to talk to her . white lily thinks that gc hates her and wants her gone but golden cheese's feelings are wayy wayyy more complicated. golden cheese doesn't want white lily gone she Is glad that she's back but its also hard. everything she loves is gone right now . but she's going to find a way to get it back- and if white lily can help than maybe that'll rekindle their relationship.
the cuteification beam still reaches for white lily despite how much pv knows her . i doubt this would help with white lilys feelings that pv is being naive bc shes looking at a shapeshifter based off of pvs subconscious and that subconscious is showing so mucy nostalgia it probably hurts
hollyberry in the past probably really babied white lily + pure vanilla because she Knows theyre not eating . shes observant as hell and will always demand they have at least one bite of something in order to figure out if they're Really "not hungry".
the last one would probably land on golden cheese's bc again . her feelings are complicated and as such her subconscious would showcase that multifaceted issue of "knowing this is your friend and also knowing your friend is responsible for your kingdoms destruction".
#📗; my post#💚; art tag#r; 🪻#r; 🍻#sorry to the 3 others im not dating ill figure tags one day maybe#cookie run kingdom#cookie run#pure vanilla cookie#hollyberry cookie#dark cacao cookie#golden cheese cookie#white lily cookie
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𝑚𝑦 𝑒𝑣𝑒𝑟𝑦𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑔
🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮
ʀᴇǫᴜᴇsᴛ ☞︎ ɪᴅ ʟᴏᴠᴇ ᴛᴏ sᴇᴇ ᴍᴏʀᴇ ɴɪᴋᴀᴀᴀᴀ ᴍᴀʏʙᴇ sᴏᴍᴇᴛʜɪɴɢ ᴡʜᴇʀᴇ ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ ɪs ᴜsᴜᴀʟʟʏ ᴀ sᴜᴘᴇʀ ᴄʟᴏsᴇᴅ ᴏꜰꜰ ᴘᴇʀsᴏɴ, ʙᴜᴛ ɴɪᴋᴀ ᴇᴠᴇɴᴛᴜᴀʟʟʏ ʙʀᴇᴀᴋs ᴅᴏᴡɴ ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀs ᴡᴀʟʟs ᴀɴᴅ sᴇᴇs ʜᴏᴡ ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ ᴀᴄᴛᴜᴀʟʟʏ is
⇝ ɴɪᴋᴀ ᴍᴜ̈ʜʟ x ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ
⇝ ꜰʟᴜꜰꜰ, ᴀɴɢsᴛ (ɪꜰ ʏᴏᴜ sǫᴜɪɴᴛ sʟɪɢʜᴛʟʏ ꜰᴏʀ ᴛᴇɴ sᴇᴄᴏɴᴅs)
⇝ ᴍᴀsᴛᴇʀᴛʟɪsᴛ
🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮
it was really no secret to anyone that i was more of a reserved kind of girl, i always kept to myself, never overshared, and was always more on the quiet side.
and of course, this never changed, even when i started dating nika. i have never broke down the many walls i have set up for anyone ever.
most people see me as this cold, emotionless, rude, and over all not a friendly person, but that honestly couldn't be further from the truth.
its just that no one has "broken down" the barriers i've set. in reality im the complete opposite of everything i just listed.
nika has always insisted on getting me to open up to her about things, but i've always been so closed off and reserved that i just can't bring myself to do that.
but lately our arguments have been a bit more frequent, and as you can guess, they're about me not being open with her.
ꜰʟᴀsʜʙᴀᴄᴋ
"i just dont get why its so hard for you to tell me this kind of stuff! im your girlfriend for fucks sake! you should be able to trust me!" nika was currently going off about how i've never opened up to her in the slightest, i always brush things off as if everything is okay.
"its not about that nika! it doesn't have anything to do with that! i don't tell anyone my business, anyone. not just you." i wasn't lying when i said this either, growing up it was always hard for me to express my feelings.
so now being with someone who is very passionate with what they feel, and not being afraid to show how they feel has had its ups and downs.
that argument we had that night was not pretty, but after a few hours we were finally able to solve it thankfully.
ᴇɴᴅ ᴏꜰ ꜰʟᴀsʜʙᴀᴄᴋ
but now, its as if nika was slowly breaking down everything i built. as if they never existed. making me able to come to her whenever.
and since then our relationship has gotten stronger than ever. shes gotten me to actually be able to come to her when I'm bothered about something instead of just brushing it off like i always did.
and for that i will always be grateful, if it wasn't for her, i don't think i would ever have been able to communicate correctly with anyone.
nika has gotten pretty good at reading my facial expressions and body language, so i guess she could sense that something just wasn't right, she came up to me and sat next to me on the couch of our apartment.
"whats wrong? you look tense." she put her hand on my thigh giving me a slight sense of comfort as i sigh and lean back not knowing how to tell her.
"cmon remember what we talked about? honesty, and trust?" i looked over at her as she spoke vividly remembering the conversation we had.
i sigh as i finally spoke up, voicing my concerns to her. "its just that, its just that it all feels weird, you know? it's all so new to me and i just don't know how well i'm taking it." nika listened intently to me voicing my concerns.
although it concerns her that i'm not taking this whole being open and communicating correctly thing great, shes thankful that i was open enough to share this with her, wanting to be there every step of the way with me.
"i know it might feel scary, but you're doing great, everything is gonna take its time and you're going to adjust to it soon. but for now, we just have to take it slow." she gave me a small reassuring smile to which i returned.
knowing there was someone who truly understands me, someone willing to listen to me, and be there for me no matter what, it makes me feel like i'm worth something.
she makes me feel seen, feel loved, feel special. as if i'm the only girl in the world that truly matters, so why wouldn't i fight as hard as she does in our relationship?
"i genuinely don't know what i would've done if i hadn't met you." i look at her grabbing her hand, making eye contact getting lost in her eyes. she was the most gorgeous girl i've ever laid my eyes on.
"you're the best person to ever come into my life y/n, i wouldn't have it any other way." and with that we got comfortable on our couch cuddled up together.
knowing that it was just us right here right now made everything feel better, laying on my couch with the girl of my dreams.
maybe letting some walls down for her wouldn't be such a bad idea, it might be good for me, for us.
my rules were always to 1. never let anyone break down everything you built up in order to keep everything shielded, and 2. never let people know how you feel.
but with nika, i can proudly tell her this. "i broke my rules for you." i say as i stare at her face thats laying on my chest.
"i'm so glad you trusted me enough to do that." with that, i knew that there was nothing nika and i couldn't overcome. we were true soulmates.
i knew this girl was forever going to be mine, she'll forever be my everything.
#basketball#anon ask#anons welcome#nika mühl#thanks anon!#anonymous#wlw sfw#wlw post#wlw blog#wlw love#wlw#wlw community#fiction#fanfiction#blurb#nika muhl#angst#fluff#cute#send anons#anons wanted#requests open#anon request#mystery anon#angelscovee’s writing ❤︎︎#my fic#nika fic#thanks for the ask!#i wanna hear your thoughts#send me stuff to write
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LOVE ON AiR: 9. YNXOXO VLOG: night out w/ won & riki
WARNiNGS » profanity, manipulation, underage drinking (DONT!!), mentions of drugs & drinking, angry ynhoon
wc: 4k, if there’s typos IGNORE PLS 😞🙏🏼
video description: welcome back to my bubble! in todays video i started off with a cute quick grwm then vlogged my night out. unfortunately the video ended off on a bad note but tysm for watching! hope u come back ^.^
you prop the camera up on your vanity and smile. you wave, “hi guys! welcome back to my little bubble!” you spin your rotating shelf of products and reach for your primer. “today, i’m getting ready for a night out. won and riki said they’re 10 minutes away.” you look into the mirror, behind the camera and begin applying your primer.
“i’ve already changed into my outfit and done my hair as you can see. just need to do my makeup.” you smiled softly at the camera and reached for your foundation, showing it in the frame like a true beauty influencer. “i was talking with kat and giselle the other night and we came up with like a whole list of videos i should do” you began blending your foundation, taking to the camera simultaneously.
you had started vlogging around the same time the podcast started. at first it was just short vlogs but since the podcast started taking off you had gotten more comfortable around the camera so the vlogs started consisting of what you ate in a day, a typical recording day, day in your life and much more. soon enough your vlogging channel started taking off as well because people enjoyed the way you spoke to the camera as if it was one of your friends.
“oh my god i didn’t even say what we were doing tonight sorry guys” you laughed a little, blending out your concealer you had put on. “i’m sure you guys remember yeonjun, he was in my new years vlog” you paused, blending the area on your chin then spoke again. “well he’s having a party tonight so me won and riki are going. well me forcefully. sunoo giselle and kat couldn’t join because they’re doing other things. bummer right?” you pouted softly to the camera and looked back in the mirror, moving to the next step of your routine.
“kat and sunoo said they would meet us afterwards and im hoping so because riki was a mess to take home after the new year’s party” you shuddered at the sheer memory of new year’s eve and how much riki bothered you that night. “honestly im glad we’re going out because i haven’t seen won or riki aside from recording days.” you glanced once more at the camera, smiling. “between us, i think they missed me too” you giggled softly, looking back in the mirror.
“you know since we hit 600,000 subscribers a couple days ago, should i make a special video?” you furrow your brows, looking at your reflection then back at the camera. “you guys should let me know, if i should post that list of video ideas we came up with, some of them are pretty fun” you began setting your face, the translucent powder locking everything in place.
just as you were going to do your eyes, the doorbell rang then a series of knocks followed it. you looked at the camera and a smile grew on your face. “they’re here!” you picked up the camera, walking through the apartment and to the front door. you opened it and turned the camera to face jungwon and riki. “oh you’re filming already?” jungwon smiled and waved to the camera. “yep!” you peeked your head out from behind the camera and riki began laughing.
“you look so weird without your makeup fully done” riki blurted out, trying to conceal his laughter but failed miserably. you squinted your eyes and moved to the side so they could both come in. once riki walked past you, you slapped the back of his head making jungwon laugh. “hey!!” he shouted, rubbing the spot. you smiled at the camera once again, ignoring riki groaning in the back. “sorry guys, let’s get back to the routine!”
the three of you walked down to your room, you sitting at your vanity and jungwon and riki plopping on your bed. “yn how much longer is it gonna take” jungwon opened his phone, scrolling on it. “just about 5 minutes. guys did i give you guys a life update?” you looked to the camera, smiling as you put on your eyeshadow. “well, incase i didn’t basically i got this new hairdryer, no it’s not a dyson or a shark but it gives me the best blowout look”
you brought some of your hair to the front, showing off the curls. riki picked his head up, his interest piqued. “wait really? i’ve been needing a new hairdryer” you looked at him through the mirror and nodded “it’s in the bathroom” you mumbled, setting your face with setting spray.
“guys please invest in good setting spray because my makeup used to melt off when i didn’t have a good one and once i changed to this one it literally stays” you showed the setting spray in frame, once again like a beauty influencer. “i feel like i also got so many compliments on my makeup once i started using it” you mumbled, closing one eye to put on eyeliner and focused so you wouldn’t mess up. “i don’t know why but anytime i have like noise in the background i can focus on my eyeliner better, maybe i'm just weird but it really does help” you chuckle lightly at the sound of the hairdryer turning on in the bathroom.
“i think i say like way too much. kat also suggested a video where i count the amount of times i say like or something like that.” you paused and looked at jungwon through the mirror and the two of you start laughing. “you said like 4 times in that sentence!” he shouts out, laughing so hard his face turned red. “it’s such a bad habit!” you replied, trying to control your laughter so you could put on mascara.
riki emerged from the bathroom, now with voluminous hair and soft curls. “that hairdryer is amazing” he admired himself in your vanity mirror making you laugh. he spotted the eyeliner and picked it up, inspecting it like a curious cat. “you think i should put some eyeliner on?” he looks to you as you fix your hair, makeup now done. “i think the viewers would love if you and won put eyeliner on” you smiled at the camera, picking it up to record both riki and jungwon. “come on won get up!” riki slapped jungwons butt, making him groan and stand up to go to the bathroom.
you brought a makeup brush to mimic the eyeliner. “just shut one eye and glide smoothly, rub it out a bit so it gives that cool smokey eye look” you demonstrate with the makeup brush. both boys watching carefully. you record riki, him putting the eyeliner on with ease and rubbing it out, then doing it to the other. he looked at himself in the mirror and smiled as if proud of himself. “wait that looks so sick. riki do mine like that” jungwon gasped, now finally putting his phone down and his face in front of riki. “i just have to do everything around here” riki sighed jokingly and did jungwons eyeliner.
“riki i think you should be an mua instead of a twitch streamer.” you giggled behind the camera making riki glare at you. “i literally streamed one time and you guys can’t let it go” he sighed out, moving away from jungwon so he could look at himself in the mirror. jungwon smiled, ruffling his hair lightly. “don’t we all look good” you mumbled, behind the camera, looking at yourself in the mirror as well. the camera captured all three of you in the mirror. “i say we coordinated pretty well.” riki spoke up, you analyzing each of your outfits.
you wore a simple black minidress with detailing around the corset. riki wore a pair of grey baggy jeans as well as black shirt and a black leather jacket to go with it. jungwon brought in a pop of color with a red and black racer jacket with a black sleeveless top under, with a pair of black jeans. “we did didnt we?” jungwon smiled, looking to the two of you then fishing his keys out of his pocket. “shall we?” riki nods, the three of you walking out of the bathroom.
you flip the camera back to you. “luckily the drive from my apartment to yeonjuns house isn’t insanely far, so i don’t have to go yet guys.” you point to the camera, smiling. “i probably wouldn’t have shut the camera anyways” you laugh out, shutting the front door behind, locking it and matching your pace with riki. “yeah the camera is glued to your hand” “but you guys love it!” “.. yeah”
“you see guys riki acts like a menace on the internet but in real life he’s actually a really nice person. he’s taking best friend applications right now!” you angle the camera towards him and he laughs. “i am actually not. won and sunoo are my best friends” “not for long..” jungwon mumbled back, making you laugh and riki stare at him.
in the midst of your rambling and joking the three of you made it to the car. riki and jungwon in the front and you in the back. “you know everytime we go anywhere it’s war to get the aux” you flip the camera to show jungwon and riki slapping each others hands to get the aux cord. “you literally got it on the way here!” riki groaned out and jungwon snatched the cord from him, plugging it in his phone. “yeah well it’s my car. learn how to drive and maybe you can play travis scott” riki gasps, as if offended and you burst out laughing, flipping the camera back to you.
“no one really talks about it but sitting in the back is actually fun. because while those two are having their own conversations, i can sit back here and just mind my own business with my cute little camera.” ‘u got it’ by frank ocean starts playing in the car as jungwon begins driving. riki rolls his eyes at jungwon playing frank ocean once again but smiles softly. he loves it too. you look at yourself in the camera, fixing a hair out of place. “did i tell you guys about my apartment floor drama” you look to the screen and pause, as if an actual audience would respond.
“it’s kinda crazy because my apartment floor has this couple living on it and they have argued like every single day out of this week, like i see the girl burst out crying when she walks out. i feel so bad because they’re a lot older than me so i can’t really reach out or try and befriend her. it sucks though” you pouted softly at the camera. “besides that, the old lady on my floor is getting mad at some dude again. as always, living in apartments is not really that fun honestly. i still love my place though!” you sigh and smile at the camera, riki laughing a little at the way you talked.
“who wants to place a bet on who’s gonna get the most fucked up tonight” riki spoke up, you furrowed your brows. “is yeonjun in on this bet? because if so i think he would be” the two boys start laughing and jungwon shakes his head. “i think riki will” “woah? rude!!” he exclaimed, putting his hands up. “don’t get me started on new years..” you mumble and look the camera, as if communicating with the watchers. “i think won will” you spoke up. jungwon furrowed his brows.
“i’ll throw a wild one, yn!” riki pointed at you and you laughed right in his face. “absolutely not” you scoffed and riki laughed. “yeah we’ll see” you glared at him, wanting to slap the back of his head again but refrained yourself. “well one of us is gonna have to be a little sober to drive home” “we could always crash” you shrugged making jungwon scrunch his nose. “yeah.. sure” he replied, making you giggle at his tone of voice.
“whoever blacks out first owes the other two a hundred bucks?” riki suggests looking the two of you and you ponder on it for a bit. “each?” jungwon asks, side eyeing riki as he nods. “fine, deal” you say, sitting back in your seat once more. you look the camera and widen your eyes a little. “guys the bet is between me and won, riki doesn’t drink” “you were recording?!” “sorry!” you yelled back, making jungwon burst out laughing as he pulled up to the house.
the three of you got out of the car and you looked at yourself in the camera once more fixing your hair. “well guys we’re gonna head in so i’ll pick up the camera a little later! see ya!” riki and jungwon wave at the camera with you and you turn it off. “don’t worry i’ll end it once we’re a bit too drunk” you looked to both of them and riki sighed as if in relief. “thank god i didn’t need a new years recap. you were evil for that you know?” you laughed next to him as the three of you walked closer to the front lawn.
after what seemed like the longest car ride ever sunghoon jake jay and heeseung arrived at yeonjuns house. “god finally.” jay mumbled, shutting the door and glaring at jake as he got out of the drivers seat. “hey if you didn’t want me to drive you should’ve said something” jake exclaimed, throwing his hands up. “not like you would’ve listened” jay replied, walking ahead of jake and jake looked at sunghoon, mouth wide open.
“cmon jake, he’s just moody” sunghoon shook his head, putting his arm around jake’s shoulder as the two of them walked to the front door. sunghoon didn’t want to be here. he would much rather be at the rink or watching a movie with gaeul. jake rambled on about something next to him but he wasn’t really listening. well he was but not entirely. he just wasn’t in any sort of mood tonight. as they entered the house his nose scrunched at the sudden smell of sweaty bodies, weed, and alcohol. what a great fragrance choice, sunghoon thought.
“heeseung! guys it’s been so long!” yeonjun approached them, dapping up heeseung. sunghoon smiled softly and nodded, all fake though. he didn’t really like yeonjun or his friends. they weren’t weird just a tad bit much. then again sunghoon didn’t have room to speak, he hung out with the same three people all the time.
“so when can i be a special guest on the podcast?!” yeonjun laughed, throwing his hands up. sunghoon and jake eyed each other then sighing and smiling. this was going to be a long night.
you turned on the camera and fixed your appearance a little. “hey guys! so we’ve been here for about an hour, no one’s blacked out thank god. right now we’re playing uno with soobin and beomgyu!” you turned the camera around to soobin and beomgyu who smiled and waved. “annnnd right now riki is winning! here i’ll prop up the camera” you smiled and set the camera down, propping it up so everyone was in frame.
as of now you had only 3 cards left and 2 drinks in your system. “yns gonna use the camera to cheat!” jungwon pointed at you accusingly and you scoffed, almost laughing. “am not!” you shook your head and looked at the camera. “i would never do that!” “that sounds like someone who would” riki laughed next to you and you pinched his arm, making him yelp.
“it’s your turn soobin hurry up” beomgyu complained next to him making soobin side eye him. “you know just because you said that” soobin placed down a +4 and looked to jungwon who only smiled and placed down another. they had planned this. “yn please say you have a +4” jungwon looked to you, making you pout. “ugh i don’t.. oh wait.. what’s this..” you fake confusion as you set down another +4 card. beomgyu gasped and looked at riki with worried eyes. the four of you stared at riki as he set down his last card, in anticipation and it just so happened to be a +4, resulting in beomgyu picking up 16 cards and riki winning the game.
“ughh fuck! you let him win!” beomgyu yelled at soobin making him laugh as riki cheered. “yeah but what matters is that you have 16 cards so i think we all won” you and jungwon kept laughing as soobin and beomgyu continued arguing, neither of them stopping for a breath. you picked the camera back up, trying to contain your laughter. “as you can see beomgyu lost tremendously compared to riki, speaking of how do you feel?” you pointed the camera towards riki who was still cheering.
he looked down at the camera and smiled. “i feel like life is finally worth living.. like i finally have a meaning. the haters tried tearing me down but it didn’t work. we are so back” “the haters should’ve tried harder!” jungwon yelled in response making you burst out laughing at how riki glared at him. just as riki was about to say something the three of your phones buzzed at the same time, most likely the group chat.
ONE NEW NOTIFCATION.
kat: where are you guysss, im in the backyard
you looked up and looked around to spot kat. you beamed once you did find her and the three of you started yelling her name. “finally” you shouted as she got closer, hugging you. “told ya i was gonna come” she let go of you and smiled at the camera, waving. “hi vlog!!” making you giggle. “riki just kicked beomgyu ass at uno” jungwon said as kat took a seat next to him, passing her a drink. “for the last time i was set up!!” beomgyu yelled back, groaning. “fine let’s deal the cards and play again!” she smiled, collecting the cards up from the table.
sunghoon watched jake’s poor attempts at flirting with some girl from the couch. he had to stifle a chuckle everytime the girl rolled his eyes as he rambled. “i don’t know why he does this to himself” jay spoke next to him, shaking his head. “it’s actually pretty amusing” sunghoon smiled, leaning back on the couch, swishing whatever drink was in his cup. “you’ve been off tonight. what is it?” he looked to jay and pursed his lips, as if hesitating to speak.
sunghoon was like that, he didn’t confide in people easily. for some reason he always found himself in this situation with jay, a hefty load on his shoulders. jay looked at him with anticipation because he had already known something was in fact bothering sunghoon, he just didn’t know what. sunghoon huffed out a breath and pulled out his phone. opening a certain chat and passing it to jay. “don’t get on me for replying” sunghoon mumbled, making jay furrow his brows as he read.
sunghoon watched jays expression as he kept reading, his eyebrows stuck in that same angry position. “what the fuck? why didn’t you say anything?” jay looked at sunghoon, placing his phone down on the couch. sunghoon shrugged, sighing as he threw his head back. “hoon don’t listen to her, she’s just trying to rekindle something that wasn’t there.” jays face turned to worry as he saw sunghoon just sitting there silently.
“yeah but what if she’s right. what if i am unlovable” sunghoon turned his head, finally facing jay. jay only looked at him. “you’re not, sunghoon she’s just trying to mess with your head. don’t let her” jay watched his friends face, how it changed to frustration after he said that. he knew after that breakup it was a dark place for sunghoon.
“yeah, you’re right. it’s just been on my mind i don’t know why. i’m sorry if im killing the mood” sunghoon sighed out, now suddenly feeling guilty for pouring his feelings out on jay, a common feeling for him. “it’s normal hoon, don’t apologize. now get up, im taking you home” jay stood up, patting sunghoons knee. sunghoon shook his head, “no i won’t ruin your night” “my night was ruined when i saw jake flirt with that poor girl. now get up man” sunghoon laughed slightly, getting up and standing next to jay.
“let’s atleast tell hee we’re leaving, i think he’s outside” sunghoon muttered to jay who only nodded, leading the way. sunghoon read the texts again, lagging behind jay. the words were etched in his head ‘you’re unlovable’ maybe he should change something. maybe he was doing something wrong.
just before he could look up, he collided with someone, spilling whatever liquid was left in his cup. “oh shit i’m sorry-“ sunghoon looked up from his phone to see you, drenched in said liquid. your friends stood behind you, just as shocked as you were. “i..” “you did that on purpose you dick!” you shouted out, trying to wipe away the alcohol on your hands.
“on purpose?! i literally didn’t even know you were here” sunghoon shouted back, eyebrows now furrowed in irritation. “yeah sure” you scoffed, shaking your head in disbelief. “are you stupid. i said i didn’t know” he replied, the same irritation in his voice. jay placed a hand on sunghoons shoulder, gripping it lightly. “okay hoon, just apologize”, he murmured in his ear.
“yeah for some reason that doesn’t seem believable, look just apologize” you crossed your arms, still glaring up at him. sunghoon almost wanted to laugh in your face. “apologize? you were in MY way!” “you were in my way! you probably did it on purpose too!” you shouted back, sunghoon groaning.
“the world doesn’t fucking revolve around you!” sunghoon shouted, a little louder now. loud enough for jungwon to step in between you two, you stepped back, quiet now. “there’s no need to yell man, now go.” jungwon glared at him, almost sizing him up. there was a notable size difference between the two. sunghoon scoffed, “fine” he walked past jungwon, shoulder checking him and leaving jay standing there.
jay laughed nervously as the group glared him down, scratching the back of his neck. “sorry.. he had a rough night. girl problems” jungwon gave him a half ass smile as if to say ‘okay.. go away now’ “yeah he didn’t have to be a dick about it. now can you move?” jays eyes widened at the boys bluntness and stepped to the side, letting the four of you walk away.
“you okay?” kat rubbed your arm as you guys walked towards the front door. “yeah just annoyed, ugh that guy is a dick” you grumbled, wiping away at your dress. “let’s hope we don’t have to see him again” jungwon mumbled in front of you, also quite annoyed by the encounter.
you weren’t as bothered as jungwon was, just a bit shocked. you didn’t like it when people raised their voice at you. it made you feel small, belittled almost. you didn’t like feeling that, jungwon knew that, all of them did. which is why he stepped in. he did that often for everyone, it was just his thing, protecting his friends.
the four of you reached the car, getting in. kat had ubered here so she was riding back with you guys. luckily everyone was pretty sober so going home wasn’t a problem. you sat in the front next to jungwon now, kat and riki in the back.
the car ride was pretty quiet, riki and kat in their own world and you and jungwon way too annoyed to even bother to talk. jungwon and riki dropped kat off first since her apartment came first then they reached your complex. you said your goodbyes (riki flicked your forehead) and went up, entering your apartment.
you pulled out your camera, realizing you hadn’t ended the vlog properly yet. you turned it around and fixed your expression, then hit record. “sorry i forgot to record in the car but that was pretty much it for tonight’s vlog! i’m just gonna take off my makeup, change then sleep. thanks for joining me today and be sure to like, comment, share and subscribe! till next time!!” you waved to the camera as you did your outro and blew a kiss.
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AUTHORS NOTE » soooooo ummmm 😅 maybe ynhoon WONT happen as expected. anyways this is when the smau srsly starts taking off so u guys r in for some DRAMAAA. pls like n reblog luvs 💟
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Hi I was wondering if you could do a amajiki x reader where reader is on her period and has really bad cramps and mood swings and amajiki has to ask mirio and nejire for advice
SUMMARY: Very apologetically Tamaki has no idea how to handle your shark week, so Mirio and Nejire are here to help him out! A/N: Very apologetically I too am not sure if things were accurate I'M SORRY I DON'T EXPERIENCE THIS so I'm literally trying to remember what my ex gf was like FORGIVE ME ALSO FOR BEING SO LATE I HAD TO STOP HALFWAY BECAUSE OF EXAMS WARNINGS: Fem!Reader, period, maybe inaccuracies (refer to above)
🌸Let’s set the scene.
🌸Please pity him. It was in the middle of a cafe date that suddenly you stopped slurping your drink, freezing with a funny expression and your waffle piece halfway to your mouth. Obviously Tamaki’s voice peters out and away as he sinks into his jacket….oh crap, did he say something wrong? Maybe his breath smells bad?
🌸Then you ask to borrow his jacket. He gives it over, relieved, thinking you must’ve just been cold or something - wait, why are you tying it around your waist and heading to the toilet?
🌸When you finally come back out you awkwardly ask to cut the date short with much apologies, but you really wanted to head back and change….why? Oh right, your period kind of….leaked.
🌸”….”
🌸”Sure, sure! All’s to worry, not to fine!” Tamaki’s just happy it isn’t because of him - it’s your third date after a year of hopelessly pining and finally using up all the courage he had in this lifetime to confess and ask you out.
🌸Then it actually hits him.
🌸Silly boy’s even more panicked than you are, and YOU’RE The one on your period. It’s mostly because he wants to help you cover up and not have the date ruined but he has no idea how, not having much experience in this - come to think of it, Nejire never brought up her period with him and Mirio, so honestly he had no idea what he was doing.
🌸Hell, he’s suddenly forgotten how the menstruation cycle works - where did all those science lessons go??? Help???
🌸You have to assure him it’s not a big deal, his jacket is enough, could he help get a doggy bag for the waffles and get the drinks though?
🌸After he drops you off by your dorm Tamaki is immediately whipping out his phone and googling about periods, but it’s only explaining to him why and how it happens…wait, you’ll get mood swings, headaches, loss of appetite, lethargy and cramps? And girls go through this every month?
🌸That sounds worse than a villain attack; Tamaki’s respect for you probably broke the meter.
🌸He’s gonna be the supportive boyfriend! This is his chance to show you you didn’t make any mistake in choosing the quiet weirdo to be your partner! Tamaki nods, trying to hype himself up.
🌸Problem is…what is he supposed to do…
🌸Nejire and Mirio are more than happy to play wingmen once more, of course!
🌸All his plans collapse when you didn’t show up in class the next day however. Not only that, you’re pretty dry when he texts you and you’re - you’re ending the conversation first?!
🌸*>>sry im not feeling my best rn and dont wanna take it out on you*
🌸*>>ill talk to you ltr?*
🌸Tamaki ends up overthinking as usual, picking away at his lunch so obviously, leading to Mirio and Nejire’s interrogation and him spilling his guts. He wants to go check on you to see if you’re fine, but do YOU want him to go check on you?
🌸Nejire scoffs and tells him of course you’d want him to check on you! Girls could get clingy on their periods, of course you’d appreciate it if he came over…hey, you both could always do a stay at home date, nothing fancy! You’d surely be up for movies to cheer you up - Nejire would gladly lend Tamaki her account, no payment required.
🌸What’s he supposed to do? Nejire’s winking not so subtly as she slyly suggests cuddling under blankets with - oops, he looks like he’s about to faint now. No surprise, Tamaki nearly had a heart attack when you both first brushed fingers.
🌸Tamaki’s social anxiety having him debating between being the object everyone in the corridor must surely be gawking at or running somewhere far far away? No worries either, Mirio’s there to stop him from getting a concussion slamming his head against the wall.
🌸Mirio helpfully knocks very loudly on your door, calling out Tamaki’s name when your groggy voice drifts out. He gives his stunned, dark-haired friend a thumbs up and shoves a box of chocolates into his arms, mouthing “give this to her!” before taking off.
🌸Regrettably Tamaki’s first words to you were not…er…
🌸”You look terrible.”
🌸Immediately Tamaki backtracked, yelping about how it was probably the dim lighting that made him see things wonky, he’s SORRY, he didn’t mean it he was just surprised, please FORGIVE him, uh, uh, please have this box of chocolates as apology! 🌸Oh dear, he’s just too cutely flustered to be mad at, so you accept the box (thrown at you accidentally) with a hoarse laugh, self-consciously trying to smooth down your mussed hair and wrinkled sleeping clothes, asking what brought him here.
🌸Tamaki didn’t miss the way your arm was wrapped around your abdomen, or the way your eyes were a little screwed up from the pain and sleepiness, but he decided to go ahead and ask anyway if you were okay and why you didn’t show up to class today.
🌸Awkwardly you explain your cramps were really bad and after going to Recovery Girl she decided you were better off resting than doing anything physical for the day, admitting you probably shouldn’t have succumbed to the temptations of cold boba the other day.
🌸”Can….can I…can I stay with you? I brought a movie and uh, chocolate and I can bring blankets we could make a fort if you’re not too mad at me-”
🌸”Mad at you?” You tilted your head, surprised and confused. “Why would I be…oh. Is it about our earlier texts?”
🌸He nods, and you reach out to take his hand comfortingly. “Dummy, I know it’s probably a lot for you, but no matter how bad my mood swings are, I’d never get mad at you, alright?”
🌸Tamaki must have some real good karma from his past life to deserve an angel like you.
🌸”So…about that movie date?”
🌸The next day Mirio and Nejire eagerly await news of what had transpired; Tamaki hides his face when you grin brightly and say “I wouldn’t mind having cramps that bad again if he’ll come and cuddle me like that.”
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HELLOOO!! Im in LOVE with all your Chaggie (and Wenclair obv-) art!! I was wondering if youd be up to share your thoughts on the other hazbin characters? Simply cuz Im very curious and youve been a favourite content creator of mine for a while whose opinions and takes on different things i value A LOT! So id love to hear your thoughts on the rest of the main cast(and more if youre up to it hahha)!
@phantoswordsman15
The main cast huh
Hmmmmm I dont particularly hate them, but I have some opinions that people might not like and I'm aware there's a lot of uh sensitive people in this fandom, so I never said them unprompted
But since you asked!
Alastor
Let's start with the infamous Alastor. I think he's a very entertaining character! His horde of simps annoy tf outta me when they're being misogynistic and homophobic towards Chaggie and Vaggie, but I quite liked him when I make myself forget certain parts of the fandom. He's funny and conniving and intriguing. The fact that he apparently sold his soul is super interesting to me. I'm on board with the people theorizing that he sold his soul to Lilith. I bet he's cozying up with Charlie so that he can use it to break his contract somehow. Feel like he also used the deal with (presumably) Lilith so that he could be strong enough to be the overlord he became.
With that being said, I'm really surprised with the direction they took with him. You'd think that with him being a favorite of the showrunner and the fandom, he would probably be portrayed as the coolest mf in hell. But I really like that it isn't really the case within the show. Certain denizens dont even know him and older overlords like Zestial seems to scare him and Carmilla just dgaf about him. Hell, Alastor's loss to Adam was a lil embarrassing ngl. Like. I know he's one of the oldest human souls and that's why he's powerful but... It's Adam.
Something about him that I noticed is that he seems to be more bark than bite. In particular in his duet with Lucifer, initially Lucifer had the upper hand because he's objectively more powerful, humiliating Alastor with his angel magic, but what Alastor used to his advantage was his words and charisma, as can be expected of a radio host. He's always taunting his enemies, but does it actually make him stronger than them? He "won" that duet with Vox but Valentino said Alastor only"almost beat" him when they had an actual fight. He ruffled Lucifer's feathers but at the end of the day Lucifer is still leagues more powerful than him. He talked big when he was fighting Adam but he almost died and had a breakdown over it.
He's really a lot less "cool" than I expected the show would have him be portrayed as. Kinda pathetic honestly, how he's so insecure and angry whenever he isn't the strongest guy in the room. And i actually really like that! He reminds me a lot of Rumplestilstkin from Once Upon a Time.
Something I kinda hesitate to say tho is... I dont want him redeemed. I dont want him to actually care about the hotel crew and change his ways. I like him as the fucked up man he is and really want to see how fucked up he can be, just so that if he ends up being the huge antagonist, his downfall would be all the more satisfying. Like yunno that moment when Light/Kira was finally defeated? I wanna feel that again.
Angel Dust
I love him! We found his dialogue a lil annoying at first in ep 1 but the writers did a lot better in ep 2. He's a neat guy. His character gives interesting implications for me as to what makes a person a sinner in this show. While you have people like Alastor who obviously ended up where they did because a cannibal murderer, I get the feeling Angel ended up in hell because he was abusing his own body, which is a sad thing to think. If I remember right from my own catholic upbringing, abusing the body is considered a sin because your body is a temple. To think that Angel could be in hell for poisoning himself, not for harming others, is just sad man. I look forward to seeing more of his journey.
I'm not touching on how his SA was tackled btw. While I'm a victim of sexual assault myself, what i experienced was far from what Angel does on a REGULAR basis,so I don't feel like i have any personal or professional right to say anything about it. Not every victim's case is universal anyways. All I can say is, his line about purposefully damaging himself so he could be broken enough to no longer be Valentino's "favorite toy" hit me harder than I ever expected this show to.
Husk
Confession: I... I dont feel all that attached to Husk at all, I am so sorry Husk stans 😭
Okok that feels so mean to say I'm so sorry. I actually hesitated to say anything because I dont want to hurt people's feelings. But since you guys are asking and I dont like not being genuine, I'm telling the truth.
A lot of my feelings about Husk is heavily affected by the fandom anyways to be perfectly fair. Why? Because a lot of criticisms against Vaggie is easily applicable to Husk, maybe even more so, and yet I dont see even the same level of hate towards him that Vaggie received because his chemistry with Angel is so much better than Chaggie... Apparently...
I just dont see Husk as a character outside of being a plot device for Angel's development yunno? I get it, he isn't a main character like the main 4 are(Charlie, Vaggie, Alastor, and Angel), i just find it hard to well and truly like him because of the fandom's double standards. When we found out someone was gonna die in the finale, my brother and I actually thought it was gonna be him because he doesn't have a big enough role to play in the plot to be a HUGE loss, but has a significant enough connection to a main character to have an EFFECT. He very much just felt like the love interest for Angel and nothing else. Which isnt necessarily a bad thing, but is frustrating when i see sooo many people label Vaggie as such(when she isnt!) and hate her SO MUCH for it.
I wanna see more of him tho I really do. Like the man used to be an overlord. He said he wanted to find someone who could relate to "the gruesome ways in which he's damaged" but what does that even mean? Yes i know about the castration but aside from that what suffering is Alastor putting him thru when all he has to do is be a bartender rn? There must be more and I wanna see it and finally feel for him.
Nifty
I love her a lot. That's it. The character ever. Her gremlin energy reminded me so much of Peridot, it's great. Kimiko Glenn did a fantastic job as the comic relief character and I hope she gets her own song next season. Her basically being everyone's little sister was kinda adorable even tho she's probably the scariest person in that hotel next to Alastor. I hope she gets to stab Valentino next. Just kill that MOTHerfucker
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Hey, How are you? Just read so many of your DMC head canon and I liked them, good work don't think it's against your rules, if it is, just ignore this.
But wanted to request Dante with fem! Reader who just had a baby girl.... Dante's reaction to having a girl and how he is with a newborn.
dante with a baby girl 𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪
dante (dmc) x reader (?)
┊ ˚➶ notes 。˚ 🎼
this has been sitting in my inbox for so long, my apologies!!! this was a really cute request and i love dante sm ugh i have dante brainrot rn
┊ ˚➶ warnings 。˚ 🎼
babies n mentions of pregnancy ( obviously ), intended lowercase, lmk if i missed something!! 💕
. ˚◞♡ ⃗ *ೃ༄ . ˚◞♡ ⃗ *ೃ༄ . ˚◞♡ ⃗ *ೃ༄ . ˚◞♡ ⃗ *ೃ༄
❥ let me tell you how cute i think this actually is.. like dante with a little baby girl??? it’s??? just so?? cuteee??22?2?2
❥ i can honestly see dante as a boy and a girl dad, but since we’re talking about girls here!! let me just shed some light on how awesome of a dad dante would be regardless of what gender his kid is.
❥ as a newborn, i can see him being both super goofy or uncharacteristically careful. dante is literally so scared to do something wrong so he leaves most of it to you, but if you use formula for your baby or if.. part demons don’t need milk (?).. then he’ll take over that. it should be easy enough, he says, right? right???
❥ wrong. he let you have some time alone to let you go out and actually be baby-free for a little while and he partially regrets it. the only reason why is because he’s stuck on the couch rocking the baby back and forth while she cries because dante doesn’t know how much to feed her.. which is how he ends up calling you on your alone time
❥ dante’s behavior as a dad depends on how old he is ( what game we’re talking about ). as in dmc 1-3, he’s more so carefree and although he’d know being a dad is a lot of responsibility, he’d still have somewhat of goofy, dumb mindset within him. meanwhile as he progresses in dmc4, he’s learned a lot and has gotten better, so i think this would be the start of a really good era to raise a baby. and then finally in dmc5, peepaw still got it, okay?
❥ while i see dante enjoying his beauty rest, i can also see him sacrificing his sleep to get up and take the fall of a crying baby rather than wake you up and ruin your sleep schedule. dante’s pretty good at entertaining babies for some reason, what can i say?? they just love the guy i guess
❥ even before you’ve had the baby AND after, i feel like dante would pick the goofiest outfits for her omfg. like, you’ll be sifting through the clothes and looking for some cute onesies or something and all of a sudden you hear, “babe—!” and you turn and it’s dante holding up a baby tee with a cannabis leaf on it
❥ dante would absolutely remember his baby’s birthday, and on the off chance he doesn’t and he only remembers because you or nero brought it up or something, he will run on the other side of town just for her. you’ll call him and be like, “you got the cake, right?” and he’ll be like “ohhh, yeah— don’t worry, i got it” and he’s literally fighting like six antenora and hellbats rn but dont worryyy!! afterwards he’ll just stop by the bakery all bloody and ask for the cutesiest cake available and he’ll start showing the baker photos of you and his baby girl. he’ll be like “ugh, they grow up so fast 😊” as he’s picking out demon blood and residue from his air
❥ read a post where it was headcanons about if vergil and dante had a baby that had blonde hair like eva’s and WHOAAA. if dante’s daughter somehow received a recessive trait and she has blonde hair like eva’s, it will pull at dante’s heart strings from birth. he thinks it’s a sign, a sign that she’s still watching over him and that’s she’s there— she’s there enough that you’ve acquired her hair color. he believes her love is just that strong, and that makes him try a little harder every day. he will not let her memory be forgotten, and he’ll tell you and his daughter whatever stories he remembers from when he was a kid, especially ones with vergil ( partially to spite him ).
❥ growing up would be the hardest thing for dante to accept. he’ll always love her unconditionally but it makes him sad knowing that this is the youngest she’ll ever be and the oldest she’ll ever get ( if that makes sense ). but, he’ll always love her even when she’s not a baby anymore. he’ll love her when those onesies turn into t-shirts and he’ll love her when that teddy bear turns into an algebra textbook or a phone or jewelry.
❥ dante will forever cherish his family, and he yearns for that domesticity you two have created with your children. he’ll love you and his daughter regardless, and he’ll always come back for you. he is the legendary devil hunter, of course.
#dmc x reader#dmc dante x reader#dante sparda x reader#dante sparda headcanons#dante x reader#devil may cry dante#devil may cry x reader#devil may cry fanfiction#dmc fanfiction#dmc headcanons#dante sparda#dmc5 dante#dmc4 dante#dante dmc#ODOTTIE *・῾ ᵎ⌇ ⁺◦ 💘 ✧.*#kiss kiss
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The Vod's List: Part 3
The Separatist Army tries invade the Techganic homeworld and DIES SCREAMING.
I... I am cackling like a broken laugh 'track, in a low Senatorial staff seating area. Pretty sure everyone thinks I've lost my chips. But... BUT THEY DON'T GET IT! It's so FUNNY!? Oh Bones and Blood! Oh karking STARS!!! Of all the kriffing PLANETS to PHYSICALLY INVADE with DROIDS!!!
DROIDS!
I am wheezing. Gasping for air. Slowly tipping out of my chair as I all but seize silently in spasms of sheer, incredulous, amusement. Oh Stars, I'm gonna die. My gut is on fire and I DONT CARE. Droids! Just... just DROPPED UM right into the capitals like "here ya go! Surrender flesh bags!"
Pfffahahahahaha!
I finally slip, only for a gloved hand to catch my shoulder gently, keeping me from crashing to the floor. A calculated step and lift, brings my shoulder to brace against the side of familiar armor. A guard. I manage to glance up through my incoherent laughing fit. I know that armor!
"Fox!" I grin, glad I am starting to be able to tell the gaurds apart. It always felt rude to have to keep asking their names, even when I by all rights SHOULD already know them. "Good morning."
"Ma'am." He nods. I still don't get why people think they're 'emotionless'. Even through the voicecoder, his voice is warm. "Funny joke?"
"The Separatists invaded my planet." I laugh. At his questioning head tilt, I grin MEANLY from behind my mask. "Remember how we met? And you got infected? EVERYONE on my planet is some version of carrier, either Organic or Technological. Depending on where those droids land? They are either FOOD or free scrap metal. The Collective will EAT them. And folks back home?"
I glanced around, trying to find the room's cameras. Fox casually pointed before stepping between it's line of sight and me. Kriff he was so cool. I grabbed one of the old datapads I was supposed to dump in the recycler after my break. No one would miss if I threw one in the biohazard shoot instead... probably.
I turned it on. Showing it worked. A perfectly functioning, if old, datapad. Then? I listened to that old, old, OLD instinct in the back of my head that karking HATED technology. That honestly would be happier living in a stone shack on a distant moon, surrounded by growth. That could, at a glance, pick apart any given peice of technology's weak points.
Not to slice it. Or IMPROVE it. But to BREAK it. Irreparably.
My eyes found the weak point in the screen almost immediately. A point where fingers had worn it thin. Smack! I cracked it against the table, like an animal trying to open trying to open a nut. It cracked. And that was all I needed. All ANY of us would ever need, really.
Just One Little Crack.
I pulled off my mask, knowing my face was probably doing that... THING. That "super intent Murder Hunter" thing that we all do, when our instincts engage. But I wanted to show Fox. I trusted him. So I flexed my jaw and thought of the lift, of how me met, the STRESS. Just enough to get a bit of drool.
Then... I let it drop onto the screen.
The reaction, was of course, IMMEDIATE.
The datapad hissed and squealed, screen glitching violently. I carefully put it down, familiar with what was about to happen. Fox... was not. He watched. Frozen. Entranced. As the datapad burned and melted from within. Was CONSUMED. As my nanites wrecked hell in their final moments before dying, no longer supported by my body. Some of course, simply falling dormant.
Those were the lethal ones. The trap for future Collective members trying to reclaim tech. It's why all infected materials had to be treated as a biohazard. Those nanites stayed viable for upwards of a century AT LEAST. Several, in the right condition.
So droids? Ha! We were BIOENGINEERED to fight "droids"! We WERE the original GAR. What was that Human saying? "Nothing new in the Galaxy?" That.
Fox was taking even, measured, breaths. Clenching and unclenching his hand. His voice sounded... strained, as he agreed. That, yes. We WERE very, VERY alike. And that that was FASCINATING. Could his spit do that now too?
I... didn't know. Huh.
I blinked. First up at him. Then down at the 'pad. I hadn't considered that. Kriff. Well THAT was irresponsible of me. Yeah, yeah we should probably schedule some Techganic 101 lessons, shouldn't we? Since... you know, assuming you SURVIVE infection and first "heal"? It's kinda a one and done sort of thing.
You can't get... double infected? It very much IS a you ARE or you AREN'T a carrier. And even THEN... one of two kinds, which CAN NOT peacefully coexist.
Plus... since it's adapted to the Guards biology, a spread would be SUPER easy?
.........I..... I SHOULD tell someone.
But what would happen to Fox? I'm not blind. People aren't exactly... KIND to Clones. Would they decide its just easier to get rid of him? My gut say probably. Experience says likely. I've barely even STARTED working at the Senate and... well...
Maybe I should keep my mouth shut. WE should keep our mouth shut.
"This time, I'll be the one looking out for YOU, kay Fox?"
"Of course. I'll leave my self in your capable hands. I have no doubt... I'll learn A LOT."
There is something intent about the way he stands, the way he's bracketing me into my chair. The almost soft, warm but cloying quality to his voice. Like he's trying not to make it obvious he's handling me. Like I'm some import dignitary he wants to avoid upsetting. But one he LIKES. It's strange... I'm certain I'm missing something...
At least I have plenty of other Guards around to ask.
#threepandas#yandere#yandere x reader#the vods list#The Vod's List au#yandere star wars#yandere clone troopers#clone troopers#the clone wars#yandere clones#yandere fox#reader insert#yanblr#star wars
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If you have time and you're in the mood to write a lil blurb I have a thought. Steve getting used to bugs affection, now that Jonathan and Nancy are together she can't really be as touchy as she used to and she's subconsciously started to give that affection to Steve. He'd be star struck, remember how he was about their first hug? Or finding out about bug never being kissed? He'd lose his mind.
this blurb request is DELICIOUS !!! been itchin to write her <3
enjoy !
"i'll be back in a sec!" you press a quick kiss to steves cheek before you run off towards your room to retrieve whatever youre looking for. steve doenst really know. he hadnt been listening. he had been too busy admiring the way you look in the cardigan he bought you.
its all you wear now these days.
the sight makes something warm seep into steves bones, and your kiss to his cheek ignites the warmth into a steady, smooth burn.
youve been doing this a lot more lately. the kisses to cheeks, hands intertwining fingers, fingers intertwining through hair, and breaths against his ear as you lay against him.
its intoxicating, really.
when you return, now holding a comic in your hands, steve remembers now that you wanted to show him a new spider-man suit. your arm loops through his as you sit next to him on the couch and you sit so close to him that your thighs press against his and the heat makes him dizzy. "see, look! im not sure if i like the new red, honestly."
you hook your chin over steves shoulder as you hold the comic over his lap and steve struggles to stay focused. he looks down at the panel youre pointing at and swallows. "y-yeah. its, uh. its definitely a different shade."
steve cant see any difference.
hes not even sure if he knows what red is right now because your perfume is all around him and your body heat seeps from your skin into his and your soft hair grazes his face.
its torture. its a hell so sweet that steve wonders why sinners are sent there in the first place.
"youre looking at the wrong panel, honey." you tease, nudging your nose against steves cheek as you giggle.
honey.
"how do you know i wasnt looking at the right one?" steve tries to find his voice again, but hes scared that if he turns to look into your eyes, the proximity of your lips close to his will only end in disaster.
(an addicting, all encompassing disaster that steve has dreamed about).
you nudge your nose against his cheek again and move even closer to him. youre practically in his lap, and yet you still dont feel close enough. "your pretty brown eyes gave you away."
youre everywhere and yet nowhere close to where steve wants you to be.
he isnt sure when it happened, but your physical touch has become such a constant in steves life, and he clings to it like a lifeline. hes never had someone openly show this much affection to him, hes never had a pretty girl hold his hand just because she wanted to. hes never had someone kiss his cheek as a goodbye and as a gentle command to stay safe while apart.
"you think my eyes are pretty?" steve cant think of anything else to say. hes still too scared to face you. he can practically smell the strawberry lip balm you like to wear, this close to your lips.
"mhm," you move your face and rest your head against steves shoulder now, and he practically sags with relief at the distance yet fills with immediately regret after. he already misses the way your nose fits perfectly between his jawline and ear. "a very pretty brown, warm in the sun like honey."
you say things that make steve want to kiss you breathless.
"youre extra affectionate today, angel."
"its winter and im cold and youre cozy." you say. lazily flicking through more of your comic.
steve laughs and throws an arm over you to pull you closer. the heat from earlier has lessened. the fire simmers back down to the familiar warmth, one hes more comfortable with, and he feels like he can breathe again. then, because he can, he presses a kiss to the top of your head, which you hum at. "who can argue with that logic?"
"no one, and thats why im always right."
"atta girl."
steve is still getting used to this, and yet he feels like hes done this his entire life.
#ask#anon#m speaks#m's writing#come home blurb#set in between seasons 2 and 3 !#theyre so in love#cant believe it takes steve like six months after this night to ask bug out LMAO
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Werewolf Bites
pervious <- discomfort -> next stage of infection
tws; sickness , injuries , vomiting , violence, no use of y/n
parings: gaz x male reader (established relationship)
-> c/n - call sign
-> n/n - nickname
Fuck
You feel like you've said that too many times now.
But it was right once again.
The fluorescent lights were killing you as you squinted around the room your eyes landing on a blurry figure entering the room they said something something as they talked too your side.
It was all muffled you just stared up at them.
You probably look stupid now eyes all unfocused and ears still faintly ringing as your hearing came back staring up at them like a bug.
"..God you're probably too drugged up to even remember the past few days..maybe even too out of it to understand this again."
Again.
Hm.
You blinked as he came into focus finally.
Oh right, Kyle.
"Again?"
"..Yeah Lovie..nice to see you awake again you've been in and out of it..How's the shoulder..?"
Right the bite.
You could barely feel it really but with a quick glance at it and more colors of bruises than the rainbow itself, you guessed the drugs were working great for you to feel barely anything.
"..Can't feel it much.."
"..Good..they upped your dosage enough the last time you woke you were sobbing near screaming in pain..I..It hurt to see you like that.."
"..Oh sorry.."
He just sighed chuckled as he shook his head and gently pressed a kiss to your forehead as he leaned down.
"Don't apologize..You've been through so much..Mission was a success though..The guys have been checking in on you too.."
"..Ghost too..?"
"Yes, love..I still don't understand why you think he hates you over a small prank.."
You just whined huffing it was a small prank honestly but it feels like you've done something horrible, You could blame your anxiety or whatever the hell else is wrong with you.
But you blamed yourself.
"..Try not to think about it much..Focus on healing up.."
And focus you did.
A day had passed and you fever had gone down.
They took you off your IV and finally gave you the all-clear for a mostly solid lunch a sandwich, some apples, medicine.
Water.
You had ate everything else swallowing your pills dry.
You couldn't stand the taste of the water though.
Maybe it was just your tastebuds being weird.
Next day you luckily got juice.
Gaz visited when he could ill you were eventually back up on your feet with a still sore and off-colored shoulder.
You'd still have to get some checkups for it it would have returned back to its normal color by now you weren't that worried though you were feeling great really.
You were told to take it easy minimal training meant you were still benched on Price's order and your begrudging acceptance.
But there were pros the main being that now you were cuddled up gently with Gaz who carded his hand gently through your hair peppering kisses along your face grinning.
"I missed you so much.."
"You saw me everyday.."
"I..I mean I missed holding you..Being close like this with you.."
"..I missed you too."
God, you didn't know how you got with such an incredible man.
Luck? Pity?
Maybe both.
The day you confessed you honestly thought your heart would give out when he just giggled.
That sly man of course had to tease you he already knew the rest of team knew your schoolgirl crush on Kyle.
You weren't subtle about it.
Following him around and 'coincidentally' ending up in the same room as him.
Just being close to him made you feel all fuzzy, You didnt want to be seen as a creep but you just loved everything about him.
You both never talked about marriage but you'd give everything you had to be with him to please him the lingering fear of showing such love to him still hung around.
You fear you'd break if he left you.
Us.
"Love?"
"Mm..?"
Oh he was looking at you all concerned.
Why.
Did you do something wrong? You didnt mean too.
Please dont be upset.
"You whined..Is it your shoulder..?"
"I did..?"
"Yeah..you did.."
"Its nothing.."
You shifted as you sat up in bed ignoring the tug at the back of your mind to sit and stay.
Why were you thinking like this now?.
"Love..c'mon speak for me please.. Whatever ever it is you can tell me."
"I-..I don't know..I just..feel off.."
"You must be..youve been cooped up in the medical ward for days.."
"Yeah..I guess its that.."
You sighed as you felt him gently kiss your sore shoulder.
"Hows the shoulder..?"
"Sore..achy..but fine."
"Mm..Well thats better.."
He smiled, God that smile.
You didnt resist when he gently brought you back to laying down his hands gently glided his hands over your arms and thighs before coming back up to cup your face.
"Heh.."
"What..? Is..Is there something on my face?"
"If you mean the adorable look your giving me then yeah.."
"Oh hush.."
You both laid like that for a bit enjoying the quiet.
"Love you n/n"
"Love you too.."
a/n: hopefully this is good kinda of rushed the end
#cod#gaz garrick#kyle gaz garrick#gaz x reader#gaz x male reader#reader#werewolves#werewolf au#hehe#kyle gaz x reader#kyle garrick#call of duty#no use of y/n#hehehhe
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oy yoo joonghyuk, your looking kinda rough there. you good blud?
ok i really like this because i feel like previously the comic had an issue with making me care about yjh regressions. like theyd say they happened but didnt show it in a way that made me actually care but like with this now i understand and i can care about the pain his character went through more rather than just 'oh yeah the regressions happened hes sad about that but your not gonna get to see why and any of the pain he went through'
WHAT FHE FUCK WHY DOES IT HAVE A MOUTH. WHAT FHE HELL NKOOOOOO I DONT LIKE THIS
oh gohd. i. i dont like this.
YEAH. YA SHOULDVE. ok so i didnt take screenshots for a while but i think its really funny she got eaten. i dont like her. i know she tried her best and was going through a tough time but when your a parent trying your best isnt enough. you are raising a human being obviously your not going to be perfect but being a bad parent and trying to excuse it with 'i tried my best' is crazy. any other situation trying your best will always be enough because thats all you can do but a parent should do more than their best. i just. ugh. i think shes a very interesting and compelling character and a very realistic and human one at that but if she was real id want to fist fight her.
YAH KILL HIS ASS. her only saving grace in my eyes. the only thing ill ever say she did right. but then she went and put dokjas traumatic childhood on blast to the whole world while he was still a kid without his permission so i still dont like her 😋
honestly outside of writing the book and not getting dokja away from the abuse eairlier she was actually an amazing mom, she taught him many important things and even here always taught him the right lesson. BUT WHY THE FUCK YOU WRITE THAT DAMN BOOK-
also she basically abandoned him in a sense so hate her for that too ✌️
WHAT. HOLY FUCKING SHIT. I WAS NOT EXPECTING THIS. ok most big twists i was already spoiled for but- ARE YOU TELLING ME DOKJA WAS THE ONE TO ACTUALLY KILL HIM?!??!!? OHHHHHH OH MY GOD. ok thats gonna fuck up his psyche to remember that but good for him yes kill that dude. also more points for her your slightly less of a shitty mom in my eyes you took the fall for him thats wonderful thats good parenting there (not the murder the being willing to take the fall in this situation)
thats actually insane because that means there was a reason behind the book. the book was to make sure no one ever thought it was dokja. i mean i dont think anyone wouldve suspected that so still she prob didnt need to write it but. THAT MEANS THERE WAS A REASON FOR THE BOOK. MY WHOLE ARGUMENT HAS BEEN THROWN OUT THE WINDOW I LOVE BEING PROVEN WRONG OHHH THIS IS AMAZING AND CRAZY. i still have my annoyances with her parenting but like. +50 parent points for this you go girl AND YOU GO DOKJA MURDER HIS ASS
oh. LMAO. DUMB ASS WAY TO DIE FUCKER. HAHAHAH DOKJA DIDNT EVEN MURDER HIM THIS DUMBASS SLIPPED AND FELL ONTO THE KNIFE AS DOKJA WAS HOLDING IT LMAOOOOOOOOOO THATS SO HILARIOUS. FUCKING IDIOT. so neither of them actually killed him thats hilarious thats so fucking funny pathetic death for a pathetic man.
ok but objectively letting him die was the good choice. like. mf deserved it.
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Memories - Tara Carpenter
I'm using da lyrics from 'Memories' by my angelic sweet angel face Conan Gray. I worship him. Thank you.
i dont even know how to classifiy this or whatever but lie eyhahh
yey.
It's been a couple months That's just about enough time For me to stop crying when I look at all the pictures
The Polaroids on your bed sheet. The small, scribbled dates in blue sharpie on the back. The way you genuinely looked happy in the photo. The way your own face looked back at you. The way her face looked back at you. It's been months. Get over it. That's what your friends tell you. What your family tells you. What you tell yourself.
Now I kinda smile, I haven't felt that in a while It's late, I hear the door Bell ringing and it's pouring
Tears well up in your eyes, blurring your vision and causing the lights to disable it completely. You needed to put these pictures down. Throw them away, lock them up, anything. Anything to make you stop looking. The sad, sarcastic laugh escapes your throat and you feel weird the moment it comes out.
You jump as the doorbell rings. You don't know who it could be. Its raining outside, you can hardly see the streetlamps. Your wearing the same baggy, stained shirt you'd been wearing for the previous week and a half. It might have been hers, you honestly can't remember.
You stumble to the door, opening it and feeling your eyes widen.
I open up that door, see your brown eyes at the entrance You just wanna talk and I can't turn away a wet dog
"Tara." You say, a slight twinge of coldness to your tone, although you were too shocked and hurt to muster up enough to shoot at her.
"Y/n." She said softly, the same tone as yours but the coldness replaced with what normally you would label as guilt. But Tara doesn't feel guilty....does she?
"Can I..." You clear your throat, willing yourself not to shout or cry or blame her for everything. It takes a lot of strength to not shut the door in her face, but you've always had a soft spot for her. "Can I help you?"
"I just...I just want to talk." She stares at her feet.
"Oh."
"Okay."
But please don't ruin this for me Please don't make it harder than it already is I'm trying to get over this
You can't have this girl ruining everything. Barging back in, to 'talk'. But you knew. You knew how much you wanted her back. But you're working for it. Working on getting over it. You're trying, you really are, but fuck. It might not be working. She's making this harder by coming here, bugging you. If she'd let you be, you'd forget about her, at some point.
Right?
I wish that you would stay in my memories But you show up today, just to ruin things I wanna put you in the past 'cause I'm traumatized
You wanted to forget. Have it all gone. Burn those fucking photos. But she's here, and she's real, and she's talking about how sorry she is, how her life is a mess and she needs a place to stay. And you can't do it now, you couldn't do it before and certainly not when she's crying in your living room. But you needed to get over her. You were scared.
But you're not letting me do that, 'cause tonight You're all drunk in my kitchen, curled in the fetal position Too busy playing the victim to be listening to me when I say
She's been drinking. The daze in her eyes and her wobbly movements and speech would show that to anyone. She's crying, telling you she left you for your own sake, that she didn't mean it and she was just having a hard time with life.
But now you were having a hard time. Because of her. And here she was, drunkenly crying to you. And here you were, letting her back in, for what? What're you getting out of this?
But you just can't turn her away.
"I wish that you would stay in my memories" In my memories, stay in my memories
"Tara, it's not right. You should leave. You're in my past. Go."
"G-God, please Y/n...d-don't k-kick me out-t." She sniffled, and her big brown eyes filled with more tears and suddenly you felt guilty, like kicking a bird from it's nest. But this wasn't her place. She didn't live here, you weren't with her. She had no right to stay.
But for some crazy reason you'd definitely regret in a day, you let her stay.
Now I can't say goodbye if you stay here the whole night You see, it's hard to find an end to something that you keep beginning Over and over again
"Can I stay over?" She asked you softly, her eyes wide and you couldn't say no.
Why can't you ever say no?
You knew that you'd never leave her behind if she kept coming back, forcing her way back into your heart. You knew you'd never get over her when she's laying on you couch like she used to, eyes closed and a sweet, innocent aura surrounding her sleeping figure.
I promise that the ending always stays the same So there's no good reason in make believing that we could ever exist again
You weren't ever going to go back to the way it was. She needs to stop trying. There's nothing in your favor. In your relationships favor. There's nothing that makes you two an important couple. You were just two people. You couldn't be with her anymore. That ship had sailed, and relationships never last through the second round.
I can't be your friend, can't be your lover Can't be the reason we hold back each other from falling in love With somebody other than me
You couldn't be her friend, it's too much to bear. The knowledge that you'd been with her, felt her, held her and loved her was too much. And she knew that. You couldn't be her girlfriend again. That hadn't worked out the first round, why would you suffer to try to survive the second? But she can't feel a connection, no, because then, she'd be stuck pity filled and guilty, and she too, just like you, would never move on and never find love. But it can't be with you, and it will never be because god fucking dammit that didn't work out and you ruined your chance. She ruined your chance.
She ruined this for you, and there was no going back. There was no fixing what had been broken.
And for that, she deeply regretted.
I clearly cannot write sad stuff
please comment because those are my favorites <3
#jenna ortega x reader#jenna ortega x you#jenna ortega#tara carpenter#tara carpenter x reader#tara carpenter x you
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