#and holy shit was it fucking rough

[vociferans]

bro i started talking about how the very existence of holo☆s defies gender roles AND I WANTED TO ELABORATE HERE TOO BUT I JUST STARTED CRYING THINKING BACK ABT HOW IT ALL BEGAN AND HOW ITS GOING AND BRO I DID NOT EXPECT TO GET SO EMOTIONAL ABOUT THIS WHAT THE FUCK

[venomous-qwille]

My first stab at drawing Sol from Ghost in the Machine AU. Sol is my ('definitely not got the virus nope no virus here' 'Moon? Never heard of him' 'everything is absolutely fine ha ha ha') version of Sun introduced in the first arc of GITM! Soleil was one of the Daycare Attendants at the only Freddy's location in Canada, where he worked without incident until the company's liquidation in 20XX. As you can see, he is perfectly fine :) Ghost in the Machine AU is a DCAverse style AU set in the future, where an eccentric collector of Superstar Daycare memorabilia hoards the rarest and most elusive of treasures from the (long defunct) Fazbear Entertainment Company: the Daycare Attendant animatronic line. The story of the AU follows this motley group of DCA animatronics brought together from all over the world, as they try and figure out what living looks like. [ID: a digital drawing of Sol from Ghost in the Machine AU. He is standing hands clasped together, smiling at the viewer. He is mostly in shadow, giving a sinister edge to his expression. He wears a dress shirt, an apron embroidered with rays and clouds and two tone striped pants. There is a long yellow evening glove covering his right arm. /End ID]

[iinryer]

can we fucking stop assigning “ableist” to characters for no fucking reason. jesus christ. not only is it extremely boring and cop-out storytelling to just make villains out of regular ass characters to create your conflict, it’s also fucking jarring and exhausting to have to be slapped with slurs and ableist microagressions towards a CHILD out of nowhere while reading an otherwise unrelated (and untagged for it!) fic. im not normally one to get this negative on main, but if im being honest? you guys are pissing me the fuck off

[toxooz]

The journey beGINSSSS still waiting for the thermal printer to get here so until then im in nervous freehand doodle hell ⚰️ gunna work on lineart a little more b4 I move onto shading then color so I don't get 🎉overwhelmed 🎉

[phasewashere]

i need to write vdm

[nyaskitten]

holy fuck . holyyyyy fucking shit ... that was insane

[deusfoundry]

reacting to sylus' secret times: midnight warmth in the tags :DD

post secret times notes: THIS AUDIO IS FREAKY AS HELL WHAT THE FUCK ... "was i too rough?" "save your strength for later" "i still have to show you the rest of the story" THEY WERE NOT HOLDING BACK ON MAKING THIS AS SUGGESTIVE AS POSSIBLE

[godblooded]

since i just had a sojourn and my week is about to get hectic as fuck where i have been: buying sick ass shoes having a drip that will not quit and spicy ramen and the aftermath.

[that-ineffable-devil]

I'm not currently spamming about Dead Boy Detectives despite finishing it today because I am experiencing a plethora of emotions that I am not yet equipped to speak on but I do have a ridiculously long post in my drafts that may never see the light of day because the show is sooooo good and it has me sooooooo fucked up

[moose-muffin]

guys I am breaking my silence to share that I did in fact watch hazbin hotel and I enjoyed it and I cannot believe it’s real <3 I have many words to say that I cannot think of right now but we’ll come back to that at a later date

for now my thought to share is this… ler vox or OR BETTER YET!!! lee vox <3

[blushy-tigerrr]

vent in tags sorry

cw: mention of loss

[kaedynce-is-a-writer]

some writers: *has a writing companion*

me: if I didn't find companions distracting from my writing (I am combined ADHD) I'd have one

[homeless202]

I’m new here and I absolutely love your type of blogs with analysis and meta and long texts~~

I was wondering—is Eunyung and Haejoon’s relationship the kind that could be interpreted as romantic?

first of all, welcome and ty! and sorry it took me so long to reply, i hope u're still around anon. now to answer ur question

i'll take this opportunity to share all my thoughts on the topic bc i have Many.

TLDR: it is possible to read it as romantic if you really want to, but it's not meant to (at least not as of right now in the story aka ch.224)

deep dive under the cut as to why

-> can Eunyung and Haejoon’s relationship be interpreted as romantic?

i like how you phrased that bc, the thing is, interpretation is very subjective. you're welcome and allowed to interpret things however you want, but in EY&HJ's case, i feel like you'd have to work a lil extra hard to get to that point.

-> is Eunyung and Haejoon’s relationship meant to be interpreted as romantic?

this one's easy bc no. objectively Not. the genre of No Home is drama and slice of life (and once upon a time, horror). even if they were to ever end up in a romantic relationship, that's not what the story is about.

when i ask myself what the author's intention is with this story, i'd say it's to (realistically) portray how a young person with trauma would navigate another young person's trauma. and showing how easy it is to unintentionally fuck it up for various reasons: lacking context as to what exactly said trauma is, generally not knowing how to navigate it, their own trauma getting in the way, lacking the necessary resources. take your pick.

think of it like "how should i carry someone else's baggage when i have my own to deal with?" while also keeping in mind they're kids; they often don't have enough experience to know how to help, and even when they know what the right thing to do is, they're not old enough to take (legal) action.

and especially, the most heart-breaking yet realistic thing, when you're just getting to know someone, you can't know everything about them. it's so easy to accidentally do or say sth that cuts or offends when it wasn't meant to. but when they've got their own issues, it's hard not to take it personally (eg. EY talking about HJ's parents without knowing his mom died not long ago in the beginning of the story).

-> what even is Eunyung and Haejoon’s relationship??

this one's so funny bc i have no idea how to answer and i'm convinced not even EY and HJ themselves would know how to answer. they're not really friends; they got off on the wrong foot and kept walking with two left feet way too much to call themselves friends. the things that pushed them together the most were the dorms (not anymore) and the same friend group (more or less since EY has multiple).

what fits them best i'd say is "the universe forced us together against our will and now we're stuck with one another altho we hate each other" (<- at least in the beginning) extended with the "misery loves company" sentiment. finding comfort in someone who gets it, even tho they only kinda get it but not really but it works out anyway except it doesn't <- THERE'S NO NAME FOR THAT *cry* they invented a new type of character dynamic smh (i've never read a pairing with so much (romantic) potential only to see them completely fuck up their chance so royally by the end of their interaction EVERY SINGLE TIME. like yeah, enemies to lovers whatever BUT NOT TO THAT LEVEL HOLY SHIT)

they've changed each other, sometimes for the better and sometimes for the worse. they're compatible in the way they understand each other on a deeper level and incompatible in the way they don't.

...however...

this is how HJ thinks of EY: (and also what No Home is truly abt)

and this is how EY feels about HJ after EY found out HJ used to steal as well (aka that HJ isn't perfect like the stuck up bitch EY thought he was at first):

so...

<- -> EY's first impression of HJ was that he was looking down on him and sth like "does this guy have ulterior motives? or is he just that naive being so trusting?" until EY found out HJ wasn't that different from him. after that, EY started admiring HJ for still managing to achieve things in life despite the hardships he had to go through. the type of admiration that can easily (and sometimes does) slip into envy.

-

since the beginning, EY has helped HJ (or at least tried to) without him knowing. sometimes it worked out, sometimes not. most times EY tried doing sth nice for HJ was (from EY's perspective) in return to HJ trying to help him or doing nice things for him (which, again, sometimes worked out, sometimes not). EY was just paying back a debt to "this stubborn naive guy who keeps getting into trouble and butting into his business. gotta look out for this idiot or he might get scammed." (<- eg. when EY offered to get HJ's money back from his uncle)

he doesn't do it for credit or friendship or out of obligation, he's just doing what he thinks is the right thing bc he doesn't want to owe anyone anything. he can't accept people just genuinely being kind, genuinely caring and genuinely wanting to help. but he's been learning and slowly coming to terms with it.

-

<- -> HJ first wanted to try befriending EY despite not liking him bc, well, the guy did steal his wallet and stab him in their first interaction. after trying and failing at it multiple times, thanksgiving happened, and HJ started thinking of EY as his underclassman bc he realized EY's just a kid with issues and he should keep an eye on him (discretely bc EY hates pity).

-

with time HJ has come to understand EY better by going after him whenever he ran off and slowly realized that EY does mean well and has his reasons (as fucked up as they might be sometimes). but his mentality abt EY is still "i gotta push him in the right direction cuz he's my underclassman and i unintentionally got attached to him (somehow??)" (also bc he knows EY already gave up on himself so he needs a lil help to find his way again. also also bc he knows EY is lowkey suicidal and he's scared it'll be his fault if sth happens) <- his care for EY comes from a protective/nurturing (/possibly maybe guilty) place which started when he realized EY was just a kid^^. in other words, HJ still bothers with EY out of a subconscious sense of responsibility/obligation in a way (a good way tho. or at least a way that gets better)

see, sth i struggle with is if HJ thinks he has to or wants to or thinks he should or can't just not help/care for EY. i can't exactly pinpoint where the sentiment is coming from. his face is too blank for me to read sometimes T_T

-

to summarize: HJ is EY's goal, what EY wishes he could've been. and EY is HJ's 'responsibility' so to speak (bc 'burden' doesn't quite fit since HJ is there for EY willingly) -> EY has a positive opinion of HJ while HJ has a neutral opinion of EY (which is also gradually getting better)

note1: i think HJ's intention (maybe subconsciously) was to be to EY what HJ's upperclassman was to him. aka someone who's there when you need it and can help guide you. it would explain why HJ kept chasing after EY despite not really having a reason to and EY repeatedly rejecting HJ's care/help.

note2: i also believe the 'upper-under-classman' relationship dynamic fits them the best atm bc it also matches the way the story often singles EY out as he's the only second year (aka younger) of the 6 MCs.

-> Romance in No Home?

another thing i should mention is that No Home rarely leaves things open for interpretation. the deepest arguments EY&HJ had were always spelled out for us, to make us understand exactly what the problem was, and how there isn't a good guy and a bad guy. it's just two people with issuesTM.

from what we've seen in the story up to this point, i couldn't pick out a moment where i'd go "here! that's romantic! that's the moment they realized SomeThing!" yk

when it comes to romance specifically, i feel like a handful of opportunities were missed. there are scenes which could've easily been written trough a rosy lens but simply weren't.

exhibit A:

HJ was speechless bc "wow this mf really is actively picking a fight with an authority figure. i gotta make sure things don't escalate" not bc "hoLY sHiT hE's PreTTy. all his fangirls are on to something". however, this only becomes more clear when you keep reading the next few chapters, so i understand how you could interpret it as the latter.

exhibit B:

here they got so close and the moment was so deep bc "woaa he said he believes me. no one's said to me that before!". unfortunately, EY was panicking too much for it to mean something bc of the guilt he felt for HJ trusting someone so undeserving of trust like EY.

exhibit C:

this is maybe the closest we got to romantic between these two. i think this might be the only (or at least first) ever deep interaction between them that didn't end in a fight or misunderstanding. is it meant to be romantic tho? -> ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

-> what do i think?

first, full transparency: i went into reading this story fully expecting it to be a BL and for EY&HJ to end up together. but the more i kept on reading, the more i got the ick thinking about them being in a (romantic) relationship bc, at least from what we've seen so far in the story, their relationship would be so ToxicTM (which i personally don't enjoy reading).

as they are right now, i wouldn't want them to be together like that. like, honestly, you still can't really consider these two even friends; they just tolerate each other if the stars align correctly (altho, i'll admit, their relationship is gradually getting better!!). every big argument they had i thought "god, there's no coming back from that. i'd cut ties so quickly if was them wtf". i still don't know how they managed to keep on interacting, props to them ig.

there's a lot of unresolved issues between them. and a lot of resentment which would not bode well in a romantic relationship. the smallest argument would turn explosive and they'd be, at best, in an on&off type of relationship. they both have the power to break the other and neither would be afraid to use it. they have a lot of history together, which is not always pleasant, so if they ever were to go the romantic route, it would have to be a long way to go.

technically, i could see them in a romantic relationship if they both went to therapy first and talked out all the baggage they're carrying (both individual and shared). realistically tho, what i think will happen at the end of No Home is that either they never cross paths again after high school ends (which would absolutely break my heart Wanan pls don't), or they somehow (unintentionally) end up living together bc they both desperately needed a roommate to pay rent (which would be a hilarious fucking gag LMAO). just, HJ going to uni/work and EY doing his own thing (prolly an actor) while still cohabiting together; hanging out to watch a movie before bed <- (whether platonic or romantic being left up for interpretation)

<- -> in conclusion, from what we've seen up to this point, their relationship is mainly upper-under-classman; reluctant (maybe) friends who tolerate each other but also care (too) deeply. they've changed each other, sometimes for the better and sometimes for the worse. in some ways they're compatible and in others they're not.

all this being said, their relationship is improving and romance between EY&HJ is not impossible, just rather unlikely imo. but, again, interpretation is subjective and u're welcome to read their relationship however you want.

[chancheols]

I severely underestimated the initial effects of attempting to stretch consistently.

[conceptofjoy]

W. Why did they hire a white teacher to an african american studies clas? [Altough maybe if she, y'know, actually studied the topic it wouldn't be so bad]

Even better question, why whould someone NOT KNOW what INTERSECTIONALITY IS in SOCIAL STUDIES CLASS??? HOW THE FUCK DID THEY EVEN ENROLL INTO IT?!? huH??????

lol she was nice but she got on my NERVES sometimes lol. white queer swiftie thats all im gonna say.

theres some things you lose when you have a white teacher teaching anyyyy kind of social studies class. the teacher cant speak from their experiences of being black, and sometimes it fuckin feels like the student's gotta enlighten them on topics that they're barely having the words to piece together (BECAUSE THEY'RE A KID).

like i knew what intersectionality was from a super young age. i knew there would be special challenges i would face because i was a black girl but i didnt know the term for it nor was i taught that was a Thing until i was in high school. i was like a 9th grader and i was like ohhh yeah yep. but for some people this was just a new thing they had to learn for a grade n that's it. toss the word right out their brain after they take a test bc it's not gonna be something they think about out side of school.

i fuckin hate public school.

[kenobihater]

you ever write up a combination of words you're really proud of at the time bc you think it's vivid but it's actually so atrocious that you remember it eight years later bc it's burned itself into your long-term memory? just me?