#it’s boring conflict. It’s a cop out. and it’s UPSETTING

[iinryer]

can we fucking stop assigning “ableist” to characters for no fucking reason. jesus christ. not only is it extremely boring and cop-out storytelling to just make villains out of regular ass characters to create your conflict, it’s also fucking jarring and exhausting to have to be slapped with slurs and ableist microagressions towards a CHILD out of nowhere while reading an otherwise unrelated (and untagged for it!) fic. im not normally one to get this negative on main, but if im being honest? you guys are pissing me the fuck off

[domripley]

Business Meeting

Pairing: Maddy Hayes x Reader

Warnings/Tags: Spoilers, Set before The Marine 6, Mentions Kidnapping, Spanking, Punishment, Cockwarming, Ruined Orgasm, Aftercare, Maddy isn’t nice but uh that’s canon akjsjs, Mentions Murder, Daddy Kink, Angst

Summary: After saying something about her father, Maddy takes you up to her room to teach you a lesson.

gif credit | repost

You hated when Maddy had you come along to her meetings - they lasted hours, and all you wanted to do was try to spend a nice evening with her. Thankfully for you, she usually made it up to you soon after. However, lately, she had been in a sour mood due to her father being on trial for the murder of a few cops. He was guilty, and everyone knew it, but that wasn't good enough for both her brother, Oscar and her. The meeting tonight was about what they were going to do to try and get her father out of the trial.

So as Maddy had you set up the snack table that was behind you. You couldn’t help but let out a soft chuckle. “Maddy, can I please leave after I’m done setting up with you? I'll spend the night tonight, I just…don't really want to be a part of this." you admit, hoping she’d let you.

“You’re needed for this since you're going to be helping us," she sighed, and you knew she didn't even turn to look at you.

"I just...wish it didn't involve kidnapping that poor girl. What if it doesn't work? What if she ends up getting away and finds help?"

"She usually runs in the woods every morning, this is going to work."

"Whatever."

You dropped it at that, deciding it was for the best, however Maddy didn't respond, and you could tell it made her upset. You weren't even in her father's gang, so you didn't think you should even be involved with their plan. Not wanting to get anyone hurt, you knew that you were going to have to turn her in. Of course you loved her, but you were conflicted. All of your thoughts left your mind when you felt her wrap her arms around you.

---

You zoned out halfway through her meeting, not caring what anyone had to say. Maddy hadn't noticed until she looked over at you, looking down into your lap. She had a rule of no phones during it - just in case someone were to listen in on their meetings.

"Baby, get off your phone," she whispered as her brother went on about strategy.

Looking over at her, you rolled your eyes at her. Were you doing this to rile her up into fucking you sooner? Yes. She loved when you were a brat, and so why not be one now? Maddy kept her eyes locked on you as your smile turned into a smirk. You knew you were playing with fire, but it was definitely worth it.

"I don't think I will, this meeting's boring," you said, watching as she clenched her jaw. "My phone is the only thing keeping me up."

Maddy gave you a look that you knew all too well - she was giving you a warning that you had struck a nerve with her and you were now on thin ice. If this was how you were going to get her to forget about the meeting.

“Plus you know I really don’t want to be here, having to hear Oscar talk about this girl that you shouldn’t even be using for leverage. It’s not a good plan.” you shrugged, going back to looking at your phone.

You didn’t bother looking at Maddy to know that you had crossed a line, and when she grabbed your phone you knew you were going to regret that. Slamming your phone against the table, Maddy stood up once everyone was looking at her. “Oscar, take over the meeting, (Your Name) and I have to go talk about a few things.”

Oscar nodded, watching as Maddy grabbed your hand, and pulled you out of the room before you could even protest. Having the meetings in her basement had its benefits, especially when she could easily take you to her bedroom where no one dared to go up to.

Once inside of her bedroom, Maddy slammed the door shut behind her. "Maddy…" you trailed off, trying to study the look on her face. To your surprise, she seemed to calm down faster than you had expected.

“Is this your little way of telling me you need to be fucked? Because maybe I shouldn’t even give you what you want. That’ll teach you a lesson.” she stated, unbuckling her belt buckle. “But then that would be punishing me for your behavior.”

“I-I’m sorry if I offended you, I just wasn’t thinking. Please-“ you admit, which was true. You knew how Maddy could get, and by saying what you did was a big risk. One that you were regretting you took.

“Please what? I can’t really blame you though, every single time your cunt gets wet, your brain shuts off. Isn’t that right, princess?” she asked, sitting down on her bed as she signaled for you to lay down across her lap. You did as you were instructed, but before you could even touch her thighs, she stopped you. “Pants off.”

You pulled them off as quickly as you could before laying across her lap. She took her sweet time, lifting your shirt to the middle of your back as she trailed her fingers back down to your elastic of your panties. You wanted her to hurry up, especially since her employees weren’t going to be leaving until the dead of night. They definitely were going to catch on sooner or later.

"Now, (Your Name), how many spanks do you deserve?" she asked, pulling out the pocket knife that was in her pocket.

Cutting your panties off if you - Maddy chuckled at the small gasp that left you. "Bad girls don't deserve panties, now answer my question."

“Ten, D-Daddy,” you whined, trying to stay as still as you could. You knew she hated when you weren’t still, and you were in enough trouble.

“Mm, alright. Maybe then I'll fuck you. Don't forget to count, or I will start over and ten more."

Maddy rubbed your ass, and you tried to prepare yourself for the first spank. When it finally came, you let out a loud cry. “One.” As fast as that one came, the second one came quickly after. “Two.” You cried out, wishing that she wouldn’t take her time with this. The next three spanks came, spaces out but not too far from each other.

The sixth spank came harder than the others, and you tried your best stay still. Focusing on what was to come after your punishment began to help you out. “Six.” Maddy chuckled, rubbing the pad of her thumb against your asshole. You let out a whimper, grinding against her thighs the best you could - fuck her rules, you thought to yourself. Thankfully, Maddy didn’t seem to mind so much this time around.

“Seven, eight. Daddy please,” you whined, unsure of what you were begging for, but you needed her more than ever.

“What is it, whore? Your pretty little cunt’s all wet, making a mess of my jeans.”

You could tell she was teasing you, not giving into what you need so easily. She could do this for hours, but since she did have a meeting she wasn’t able to. You both knew that. Spanking you twice as hard, you let out cry as your knees buckled, only being held up by her thighs.

“You’re doing so good, two more and then Daddy’ll fuck ya. Color?”

The first night she had fucked you - before you knew what she was involved with, she went over a color system with you. No matter how angry or upset at you she was, she never ignored it.

“Green, Daddy.”

You jumped at the feeling of her hand crashing down against your left thigh. You had been expecting the spanks to only be on your ass, but you really didn’t mind. “Nine.” You gritted your teeth as she ran her nails against your raw ass.

“Ten!”

The last spank was against your right thigh, but it had hurt much more than the last. Before you could say something, Maddy pushed you down to your knees. “Get my cock out.” she instructed, and you moved quickly to unbuckle her belt. You tried to contain your smile as you pulled it through the loops, you were getting what you wanted. Maddy would never admit it - but she loved giving you what you wanted, even if you were a brat towards her.

Once the belt was on the ground, you unzipped her jeans, pulling them down to her knees after she stood up to help you out. Sitting back down onto the bed, she pulled the toy out of the boxer briefs she had been wearing. “Kiss my cock, slut.” You took the base in your hand, kissing the tip of the toy, you looked up at her before you wrapped your lips around it. Gripping your hair, Maddy pulled you off of her strap.

“I didn’t say you could do that. No, I want you on my cock now, you’re already soaked so it’ll be easy.” she snapped, watching as you stood up.

She moved all the way up on the bed so her back was against the headboard. You followed her, quickly straddling her hips. Maddy held the toy still as you sunk down onto it, gasping at the stretch, you held onto the headboard. Moving at a slow pace to get used to the feeling, you knew Maddy was going to make you do all of the work. Not that you minded.

“You like Daddy’s cock, baby? Come on, fuck it harder,” she urged, bringing her right hand up to wrap around your throat. Holding you in place, she began to fuck up into you. “Fine, have Daddy do all the work.”

You were about to give her a bratty response, but as her hand left your throat and made its way to your clit, the words left your head. You loved when she fucked you like this, causing you to forget about her fellow mob members down below you.

“Daddy, please, I’m already close!”

Maddy fucked you harder, helping you get over the edge. You came with a cry, only to whimper as she halted both her movements and yours. “Wha-“

“Bad girls don’t get to come. Now sit still on my cock, and maybe after I catch up on what I’m missing in the meeting I’ll give you what you want.”

Maddy held you in her arms as you started to tear up - the pressure of your orgasm being ruined and having to sit still we’re becoming too much. Noticing this, Maddy wiped them away, kissing your forehead. “You’re such a good girl sitting so still. I’m so proud of ya.” she praised as you whimpered against her skin.

“Th-Thank you, Daddy,” you whispered, closing your eyes as you tried your best to focus on her hand rubbing your hair.

“Let’s get you cleaned up so we can get back to the meeting.”

Maddy helped you off of the toy, smiling as you let out a whine. “Let me kiss it better.” At first you had thought she meant your head, knowing how much her kissing you made you feel. Instead, she pulled you to the edge of the bed as she got off. Gently pushing your legs apart, she got down on one knee, and you weren’t sure what she was doing. Maddy leaned in, and kissed your clit softly before she got back to her feet. Looking at her with wide eyes as you watched her lick her lips.

“You can stay up here if you want, but I need to know that you’re fully on board with this plan.”

You took a deep breath, “Of course I am.”

[ladysqueakinpip]

ok my art/STEM/STEAM thoughts under the cut

I have a lot of conflicting feelings about trying to mesh art and science together mostly bc, in my own experience, people tend to be either very right brained or very left brained. And thus one way of thinking over the other feels more natural to them.

I'm not sure if there's any science that shows that people can develop skills with the opposite hemisphere the more they practice those skills. Neuroplasticity is a thing so I wouldn't be surprised, but I haven't looked into it.

But realistically I think back on all the people I've met in my science classes, and all the people I've met in my art classes, and there just... doesn't seem to be a way to FORCE people to have an interdisciplinary mindset if they don't already have a dual left brain/right brain mentality.

No matter how hard i try to push the scientists I know to see the value in art, they just don't think that way (like the girl in the video). They're analytical people. They "get" AI art no matter how many times the art community tells them its a cheap cop-out bc it's "art" in a way they can understand. Algorithmically.

And no matter how hard I try to tell my art friends of the value of science and math, it doesn't stick. "I can't do math." "I don't get it." "It's mind numbing." "It's boring." All the times I go on science/research tangents and my artist friends get this glazed over look on their faces and zone out.

You can't like... force these kinds of mindsets onto people. And I've been out of college for almost 5 years now so I'm not sure how that interdisciplinary STEAM education is being implemented.

I hate that there are so many arts/humanities majors that have this almost. resentment (??) of STEM majors bc they've been told their whole life they're "dumb" or "not smart" just bc their intelligence lies in a different skillset. Which is such a valid thing to be upset about. But I've seen so many people start to put down STEM majors and say they have no critical thinking skills and i think a big part of that comes from just. General bitterness.

And I REALLY don't want forced art education for STEM majors to make them equally as bitter or disdainful to the arts bc they were forced to take classes that they're not good at. Like that's why people pick a major. They pick something they like and want to study.

There's already such a divide between the arts and science communities we don't need to make it worse

Ultimately I guess I'm saying I don't think forcing this kind of education onto people will work. That post referenced a company that was started up by a chemist AND an artist working in tandem. And honestly I feel like that's the ideal. Some people just... cannot develop strong skills in both the arts and sciences because they weren't made that way. But by emphasizing cooperation between the disciplines, the independent strengths and values of both studies, maybe both parties can learn more respect for each other. And use each other as support and as resources to make projects and ideas come together realistically.

It's good to be as well rounded an individual as possible, but we can also rely on each other too.

[thanksjro]

More Than Meets the Eye #30 - The Cybertronian Judicial System is a Friggin’ Joke

Have I mentioned that I’m not a huge fan of court case stories? I think they’re pretty boring, on average, so the last couple of issues have been slightly dragging for me.

Anyway, back to Megatron’s trial. 

Our issue opens up with a full back shot of Ultra Magnus.

Artists take note, he really is built like a capital T.

As Magnus reads out Megatron’s statement retracting his “guilty” plea, we get some decent points as to why. See, telling a guy that you’ll stab him in the brain, so his trial can be over as quickly as possible, maybe isn’t such a hot idea. Megatron wasn’t a huge fan of that, or of how those memories they would’ve yanked outta him would have been used to fuel the Autobot propaganda machine. Why, you may ask?

Well, I don’t know if you knew this or not, but Megatron… doesn’t particularly care for the Autobots, nor the rhetoric they uphold.

I know, I was surprised too!

There’s also the fact that Optimus Prime is the judge on this whole thing. You know. Optimus Prime. Off and on leader of the Autobots, whenever it suits him. The guy who fucked off into space for a year after the war. The guy who threw a hissy fit when someone pointed out that he was compromised the last time they did something like this with Megatron. This guy:

Yeah, there might be a slight conflict of interests here. Remind me again why this had to be a military trial?

Anyway, enough of that, it’s time for a fight scene.

A swarm of Decepticons storm the arena, going after Megatron so they can help him escape. Magnus, though acting as Megatron’s defense, cannot abide by this disorder in the court.

Wild to think there’s a tiny little Pringles man with anxiety in there, isn’t it?

Optimus joins the fray, because there really are, just, so many guys to deal with here. A dude goes to collect Megatron, stating that they brought teleport packs for this little shindig. Megatron isn’t super jazzed about that though, not bothering to grab on before the dude gets shot to death. There’s a brief recess, I guess so the janitorial staff can deal with the mess of corpses littering the courtroom.

Meanwhile, in the present day, Rung’s building a model spaceship in Swerve’s, which is a very brave thing to be doing, seeing how sticky and gross bars can be. Brainstorm’s brought a flask to the bar, and proceeds to pour the contents into a funnel sticking out of his arm.

Our bartender for the evening- I’m assuming it’s evening, but I doubt the concept of time has any real weight in space- is Bluestreak. Bluestreak was stationed on Earth for a while, which is some Phase One stuff, and took a liking to human media while he was there. He’s the guy who handles movie night these days, seeing as Rewind’s too busy being dead to do it, and I doubt Chromedome has the emotional bandwidth to take over for his late spouse.

Bluestreak’s favorite movie is Zulu, a film glorifying the colonialism of the English over the native populace of an African kingdom. Make of that what you will.

Whirl wants to watch À Bout de Soufflé, or Breathless, as it was translated for the English-speaking world, which is a French New Wave film about a criminal who shoots a cop, hides from the police in a journalist’s home, who he seduces and likely impregnates. She eventually finds out what he did, reports him to the police, but then has a change of heart and lets him know what she’s done. He runs, but is shot, and dies in the street. The film is notable for its final scene, in which the following dialogue happens, between the dying criminal Michael, his lover Patricia, and an officer.

Of course, any poignancy would almost certainly be lost on the average comic book reader, and is also somewhat nullified by Whirl praising the film with internet lingo.

Then again, I suppose Whirl would be the type to dismantle any deeper reading of his interest in such a film, lest he be subjected to the horrifying ordeal of being known.

Over with Skids and Riptide, it’s revealed that Megatron’s been teaching classes on the Lost Light, specifically on the Knights of Cybertron. Riptide’s getting an education, because he’s been feeling pretty lost since the war ended- we’ll get to the potential whys of that later on. Swerve isn’t a fan of this community college thing that’s going on, stating that Megatron’s using it as a distraction, so he can devise plots most foul.

Back in the past, Autobot high command is having a talk about what Megatron’s demanding, and man is it a doozy— turns out, since the trial’s happening on Luna 2, the trial proceedings are subject to the laws of the moon. One of these moon laws is the right to request being judged by the Knights of Cybertron. Now, this is a problem, seeing as the Knights of Cybertron have been AWOL for the last several million years, but the law is the law, and you can’t just go ignoring it when someone’s pointed it out.

Bro, your SIC just suggested y’all pull the trial so you could slap it on Cybertron, thus negating any need to pay attention to the Knight law. That’s such a gross miscarrying of justice, it’s genuinely baffling. You’ve got bigger issues going on than flouting. My god, Optimus, you were a cop—

Oh wait, that’s right. Carry on, then.

Back on the Lost Light, First Aid’s checking to make sure that the coffin Rodimus they revealed last issue is true and proper dead. Now, this may seem like a given, but you’ve got to remember that Brainstorm was mostly dead for over a year and a half, and nobody fucking noticed, so it’s probably for the best that they’re checking.

First Aid’s been pretty withdrawn since Ambulon died, so this autopsy is really good for him, since it got him out of his room. Pretty fucked up that it would take a dead body to get him out and about. Has Rung checked in on his poor son of a gun, or has he been spending the last six months getting his professional rocks off psychoanalyzing a genocidal warlord?

Our coffin Rodimus died from having parts of his brain removed, and potentially died screaming.

Yes, that is a Furmanism, thank you peanut gallery, moving on—

Ratchet hands the phone over to Ultra Magnus, saying that a call has to be made, and it can’t be by him, because the callee is mighty upset with Ratchet at the moment.

Oh, I guess he’s fine after all. This must be where the sci-fi bullshit really starts kicking in for the series.

Because seeing your own dead body is likely very traumatic and awful, Rodimus is taking a while to string together his thoughts on the matter. Megatron doesn’t particularly care, because he’s not terribly sympathetic to this sort of thing, and the two get into a spat, where it’s revealed that they’re co-captaining the Lost Light.

Because things weren’t chaotic enough on this fucking ship. Need to mix in some peacocking between the McDonalds twunk and the man who killed half of Beijing.

Back in the past, Optimus Prime visited Megatron in prison to have a little chat. It’s not about that little rescue attempt, though the fact that those Decepticons may have been released from the Lost Light’s brig is certainly interesting. No, Optimus is here to sit way too close to his mortal nemesis on the floor of his room and talk about how Megatron is a sneaky bastard.

You remember the Hellraiser puzzle box from a couple issues back? Yeah, that was a communicube, one that was passed to Optimus to suggest that the trial be held on the moon, so the arena there would be able to hold all the people wronged by Megatron. This seems pretty damn convenient in hindsight, but Megatron swears that the legal loophole wasn’t his only intent when he sent the cube.

Because it’s all about you, isn’t it, Megatron? It’s all about how you’re perceived by future generations. Fuck the guys who had to actually deal with what your personal choices caused to happen.

Megatron wants to make amends with all those who were wronged by him. This doesn’t include being acquitted of his crimes, which, y’know, good- at least he’s being slightly realistic about how this is going to turn out for him.

What he wants to do is find Cyberutopia, so the Cybertronians have a replacement planet, since Cybertron kind of sucks now.

Oh, sorry, did I say realistic? I take it back.

In the present, Rodimus is still bummed out about being dead. Still, the day doesn’t stop just because it’s a bad one, and he calls in the experts.

CHROMEDOME YOU PROMISED TO STOP THIS SHIT

Yeah, no, Chromedome’s fallen off the wagon again, and does his thing on the coffin Rodimus. As he does, Megatron suddenly gets squeamish, Brainstorm pulls out his early early-warning device to lean on the fourth wall, and it’s revealed that the coffin that coffin Rodimus was in was built in the fashion of the Spectralist faith.

All Chromedome can suss out of coffin Rodimus’ memories is the really big important stuff, which includes the speech at Rivet’s Field inviting folks to come join the Knight Quest. Aww, that’s sweet.

With the analysis of the innermost energon complete, the results are in— the coffin Rodimus is a Rodimus. A real one, from the near future. Bummer.

I suppose denial is one of the seven stages of grief, isn’t it?

As everyone argues over whether or not Rodimus is going to die, Nightbeat brings up a good point— there aren’t any numbers carved into the coffin Rodimus’ hand. Rodimus is about to reveal some Ratchet-original wisdom, when things start getting really weird; whole sections of the Lost Light are disappearing.

Over at Swerve’s, Tailgate is regaling his peers with the story of his derring-do against Chief Justice Tyrest. Everyone is very impressed, and this includes our good buddy Getaway.

Jeez, think you’ve got enough antagonist shadows on this guy? It’s almost as if the art’s trying to tell us something about him.

Getaway lays it on real thick, saying that Tailgate could totally be the next Prime, with how courageous and awesome he is, all while completely ignoring Tailgate’s personal space and having a weirdly tiny hand. This seems to seriously bother Cyclonus, who is watching this shit go down from the doorway. Our purple space jet leaves once the drinks start being poured and conversation starts happening. God knows he hates talking about his insecurities.

Then the Pipes is Friggin’ Dead alarm goes off. But Pipes has been dead for a while now, so that must mean something else awful is happening.

Back during the trial, I guess because Optimus has a soft spot for Megatron, he allows him to join the Lost Light’s Knight Quest… even as he says that he could keep the guy locked up until Rodimus and pals find the Knights. However, there are rules to this, and one of the rules is that Megatron must publicly denounce the Decepticon cause.

It is a slow and painful experience for everyone involved, as he reads the statement he was given. It’s an immediate call to action- or rather, inaction.

Geez, think they could’ve made it any more obvious that this was being ghostwritten? I can’t wait to see how long it takes for “Megatron was blackmailed into saying this by the Autobots” to be a plotpoint.

Outside the prison, Ratchet and Rodimus are taking in the brand new Rod Pod, which is genuinely ridiculous in how large it is. Rodimus admits to having taken Atomizer’s list, though he knows that trying to use it to keep those who voted him off would be a pretty shitty thing to do.

Also, no one’s told him about Megatron coming along on the trip. As captain.

Or you could, I dunno, lock him up from the start. Or, if you want to give him a chance to prove himself, slap him into a bottom-rung role, like bilge cleaner, or sewage mucker, or whatever the equivalent would be on a spaceship full of giant gay robots. We don’t have to give the guy any power to hold him to scrutiny— any minimum wage worker will tell you that scrutiny comes far harsher for those who actually carry out orders than those who give them.

But what do I know? I’ve never fought in a several million year war, and I don’t plan to.

Getting back to the list, it seems as if Ratchet and Rodimus are on the same wavelength, in that both agree it’s only going to cause trouble and hurt feelings to keep the thing around. Rodimus destroys it with his usual flare, only to be blindsided by the fact that it was fake this entire time. How does Ratchet know this?

Because his name wasn’t on it.

...Man, that’s gotta sting. No wonder Rodimus was upset enough to not take his calls.

In the present, everyone’s in a panic, as they all bolt for the shuttle bay and start pouring into shuttles. The Lost Light is disintegrating around them, which is sort of a problem. Despite this nightmare scenario happening, Rodimus and Megatron still find the time to be assholes to each other. That’s dedication right there.

As the two bicker, multiple shuttles zip away from the rapidly disappearing ship, including the Rod Pod.

Man, now it really is the Lost Light.

[words-writ-in-starlight]

White Collar ot3 number 14, 18 and/or 29 for the ship asks because you just reminded me how much I adore them today. Thank you and happy birthday!!

I cut this bad boy for length because I sure can go on about these three. That first one is basically a whole fic. Thank you, my birthday was great!

14) When one has a cold, what does the other do?

This feels like a great opportunity to talk about one of my favorite things to think about with this OT3, which is The First Time Neal Gets Sick, AKA The Time Peter And Elizabeth Almost Had A Heart Attack.

The thing is, they expect dramatics. Neal is someone who leans on dramatics as 70% of his social charms, and if you'd held a hot brand to Peter's skin while he was chasing Neal over half the godforsaken country, back in the day, he'd have said that Neal would be the type to wring every minor illness for all it was worth. Not, like, out of any particular irritation for that particular behavior--Elizabeth is the kind of person who gets dramatically sick even if all she has is a cold, and if he's being perfectly honest Peter kind of enjoys babying his wife for a few days--but just because. Well. All Neal ever does is make sure all eyes are on him, seeing exactly what he wants, doing exactly what he needs. It's the con he's best at, Neal's favorite magic trick: sweep everyone up in the delirium of those blue eyes and that shattering smile and take everything they've got in their distraction.

So anyway, then Neal doesn't show up to work. He's an hour late. Two hours late. By the third hour, Peter is silently doing the math for how far Neal could get on his anklet without setting it off, and then for any loopholes he might have missed--faking the signal somehow? Neal's passable but not phenomenal with computers, but could he have hired someone? Peter's never heard of someone pulling that off, but Neal's got an aura about him, that makes the impossible seem merely improbable.

It is very important that this be an issue of Neal trying to run, because if it's not, then something might have happened to him. Neal hasn't exactly been endearing himself to the criminal underworld lately.

At three hours and forty-nine minutes past Neal's appointed arrival time, Peter takes an early lunch break and goes to June's. He knocks on Neal's door for a few minutes, and then goes and politely 'acquires' the spare key from the staff and lets himself in.

Neal is asleep on the couch, buried in every blanket he could find in his apartment, and he blinks hazily at Peter for a second when Peter shakes him and then bolts upright so fast that Peter has to move or get concussed.

"Peter," Neal says in a good approximation of his usual good humor. "What are you doing here?"

"You didn't show up to work," Peter says, reaching out toward Neal's forehead automatically. Neal dodges him and Peter sees the dizzy wave cross his face. "Are you sick?"

"I'm fine," Neal says, and then immediately starts coughing, a wet sharp cough that hurts to listen to. "Sorry I'm late, I--fuck, is it past noon? Okay, just--give me a second, I can get ready to go--"

"How long have you been sick, Neal?"

It takes Peter the better part of fifty minutes to wring the facts out of Neal, and he does not like the facts, thanks. He more or less forces Neal back into the blanket nest on the couch and calls El, apologizes for interrupting one of her rare days off and asks her to bring Neal literally anything, and shuts down Neal's fourth attempt to convince Peter that he's fine.

Neal seems...really bothered by the idea that Peter knows he's sick, let alone Elizabeth, and Peter doesn't like what that implies. About anything. At least it doesn't seem personal--Neal doesn't seem to want anyone to know that he's sick, so much so that he's been taking double doses of DayQuil and drinking straight espresso in order to smother all his symptoms at work for the past three days. Peter does some quick math in his head about the number of DayQuil that would require and says "You're lucky you're not in the ER," and Neal says, "I know what I'm doing, Peter," in that voice that means he's thinking about getting offended.

"You're going to give yourself liver failure, is what you're doing. Why didn't you just call out sick, Neal, Jesus Christ." It's blunter than he meant to be--actually, Peter meant to let El work on Neal for a few hours before he came back to play Blunt Cop--but Neal looks awful and he has a fever and he's been taking ten DayQuil in a ten hour work day and Peter does actually read labels and Peter made him stay late at work two days ago because Peter didn't know he was sick.

And maybe it's because Neal's sick, maybe it's because the fever is blurring his reaction time, maybe Peter just knows him really well by this point, but he sees the second that Neal's face closes up and he goes from "defensive" to "ready to do whatever he needs to do in order to get Peter to back down".

And then Neal smiles, all guileless blue eyes and blithe schoolboy innocence, and he says, "Come on, Peter, you'd have thought I was trying to run."

It stings inordinately. Peter did think that, this morning, but only because Neal fucking vanished, didn't come in, didn't answer his phone, didn't even leave a message with someone when Peter showed up. If Neal had said he was sick, Peter might have come by to check on him--and sure, seeing that he was really sick would have put those concerns to bed, but--

"Besides," Neal is continuing, and his voice is starting to show the effect of the coughing now, and he's trying to get up again, wavering on his feet a little before he blinks twice and visibly forces himself to steady. "I'm fine. And even if I wasn't, it's what, seven hundred dollars a month? That's not covering a doctor, and it's not like I have pneumonia. It's just a cold, Uncle Sam, I can still go to work."

And then Neal gives Peter the slip while Peter's still sitting there, stinging.

And the thing is, he doesn't even know if Neal really thinks that of him, or if Neal just knew it would make him shut up long enough for Neal to walk into his bathroom and take more fucking DayQuil.

Well, fine, then. Peter can fight dirty too, and to prove it, he walks the ten feet to the door and leans back against it, just out of an excess of caution, as he pulls out his phone. First he texts his wife, because she's a very smart woman and deserves to have all the information. Second, he calls his boss, because he's already well outside his lunch break and he might as well do the thing properly. Neal comes out of the bathroom, wearing fresh slacks and an unbuttoned white shirt, just as Peter says, "Yes, sir, I'll keep an eye on him."

Then Peter hangs up and points his phone at Neal and says, "Lie the hell back down before I taze you. You're off until next week, and I'm taking the day off to make sure you don't go into organ failure. Don't you dare," he adds when Neal takes a purposeful step toward the kitchenette and its coffee maker. "El is going to be here with actual cold medicine in thirty minutes. Take those slacks off and lie down in your actual bed."

"I'm fine," Neal says again, as if he's not struggling with a shirt button for the first time since Peter's met him, including multiple occasions of being handcuffed.

"You're really not," Peter says, and then he pauses for a moment, and looks at the way Neal's fingers pause on the button, and then he says, a little cautiously, "And that's fine. Everyone gets sick, Neal."

"I don't need you to babysit me," Neal mutters.

"I'm only babysitting you because, apparently, you take life-ending doses of caffeine and cold medicine when you're left alone. Come on, Neal, this won't be the end of the world, El will bring you some food that won't hurt your throat and I'll let you make me watch one of your boring foreign films."

"I know your secrets," Neal says, and then pauses to cough up what's probably part of his failing liver, not that Peter is feeling any doom and gloom about this whole thing. "You watch romcoms with Elizabeth, she told me you enjoy things other than football and you'll never fool me again."

"Yeah, you got me," Peter says with a faint grin. He walks away from the door like he's approaching a feral dog, and closes his hands gently but inexorably around Neal's wrists, and then steers him firmly back onto the couch. Neal's skin is hot even through his shirt, and he trips twice, and he lets Peter push him down into the blankets like he's too tired to do anything else. "I'm going to go get you pajamas. Where do you keep them?"

"Second drawer," Neal says dismally.

"Okay," Peter says, and doesn't give into his impulse to maybe, like, brush Neal's rumpled curls out of his face or something. Half the reason that Peter caught him in the first place is because Peter knows when to press his advantage. He takes the win and gets Neal some pajamas.

18) When they fight, how do they make up?

Elizabeth is the best at this, because she works with vendors all the time and that makes her a literal professional at conflict resolution.  She has a temper and she’ll lose her cool with the best of them, but she knows how to say “I need a minute” and then she’ll leave and come back when she can be reasonable.  She’ll lay out what she’s upset about, hear the other person out, and then either apologize or expect an apology.  Then she’s the physical touch kind of person after a fight--she’ll take Peter’s hands and link their fingers together, or wrap her arms around Neal from behind with her cheek between his shoulder blades, and just kind of...rest against them until everyone’s tension starts to bleed out of them.

Peter isn’t an innately high-empathy person and he knows this, so it’s sometimes hard for him to figure out when a fight even started, let alone how to fix it.  He gets frustrated with himself for not knowing what to do, and then it’s easy for Elizabeth or Neal to feel like he’s mad at them for being mad at him, and then everyone gets madder and it’s just stressful.  So Peter’s the type to ask explicitly “wait, are we fighting” because, first of all, he would like to know so he can figure out how to resolve it, and, second of all, he’s discovered that being clear about it will sometimes shock everyone involved into taking a step back and figuring out if they’re arguing at all or if they’re both just frustrated.  After they’ve managed to figure out what’s wrong and talked it out, Peter’s an acts of service kind of person after a fight--his specific brand is to make someone’s favorite meal, regardless of who was doing the apologizing.  

Neal is...not good at conflict.  For obvious reasons, he’s inclined toward avoiding conflict when he can, and bailing immediately afterward when he can’t.  The first time he actually fought with Elizabeth, she had to come to his apartment and hammer on his door until he let her in.  Neal’s never really been able to argue with someone and then have them still be there except for maybe Mozzie, and it’s an extremely rough adjustment for everyone.  It requires a lot of patience from Elizabeth and Peter, and a lot of anxiety from Neal, for them to find a balance about it.  But Neal is a gifts person after an argument, once he learns to be anything after an argument, and not just extravagant things.  He brings flowers or Elizabeth’s favorite mixers or one of the boring patterned ties that Peter loves, he brings a paperweight or a mug, a hair pin, a new set of dress shoe laces, a pair of beautiful earrings, a six-pack of beer, whatever hoves into his field of vision and he can afford to acquire.

29) Why do they fall a little bit more in love?

One time when he got home from work, Peter caught Neal and Elizabeth waltzing in the kitchen while the radio played the Top 40 Hits station, and they were giggling while they tried to keep time to Umbrella, and Neal was complaining about El not letting him play classical while she was cooking, and Neal dipped El so that she could wink at Peter upside down, and they burned dinner because they left the stove on and the three of them got takeout ramen instead.

Peter thinks about that evening sometimes when he’s stuck in traffic.

[wingsoffireaus]

Okay so let's talk about Jerboa...

Again trigger warnings. But let me start off by saying this.

I actually didn't mind the chapter delving into her past so much. BUT I get if people are triggered or don't like it.

I mean I was shocked it was in there. But it didn't bother me that much. Guess that goes to show who I am though.

I don't know guys. Like it's bad. It really is. We've got it all here. Child abuse. Brainwashing (literally) and some loss if limb. But... I don't know. Like it took me back but...

Yeah it's probably bad that I just found it more fascinating than anything else. Like it's a very good dive into how ultimate power (and time) can corrupt you. Like... Ugh. I thought it was fascinating.

But.. I don't know. It's valid that people are upset over this part. It really is. But I grew up reading animorphs and let me tell you... That is some fucked up shit. Haha. Y'all think "oh those books with the silly covers? Psh what do they have?"

Haha how about. Child soldiers. Someone gets eaten in the first book. Mind controlling slugs. Racism. Ableism. Loss of limb. PTSD literal children being mind controlled by slugs. Cannibalistic giant centipede things. Genocide. Chemical war fair.

Oh and the series ended on one of the darkest cliffhangers I have ever seen. So yeah. Guys I've grown up reading stuff like this. It does not bother me at all. It probably should... But it doesn't. In all seriousness though guys Animorphs is an amazing series and I recommend it... But keep these in mind. To be fair they actually do have a lot of humor and character... Admittedly once the ghost writers took over it took a turn but .. we don't talk about that. But yeah. (There is an actual gay alien couple in the later books though. Being in the 90s they couldn't be obvious about it but... It's there guys. It's very obviously there. And the author's confirmed it. Not in that way. Like they did all they could do to confirm with out saying it straight out.

Anyway. Sorry Animorphs is a thing for me. I can't help but rant about it.

Continuing on. Yes this is a disturbing chapter. And I can see people being freaked out about it... But to be honest y'all can probably skip it. Actually here this is what pisses me off about all this.

Why does Jerboa exist? I literally think it's just because Sutherland came up with this fascinating character backstory.. but besides that Jerboa doesn't really do anything. Besides traumatizing children. She does that very well. Like I said earlier it didn't bother me. But I'm so fucked up that even as a child I don't think it would have bothered me. Again haha animorphs. But I don't think I'd let any of my nieces or nephews listen to that part. Maybe that's my protective side coming in I don't know. Meh. Ultimately I think it depends on who it is reading it.

So here's the thing that pisses me off. Jerboa took away animus magic. Cuz that's totally a great idea.... Fuck off man. I hate this trope. Why is this a trope? Why is this a thing? Let's take magic away! (But did anyone else notice she said only living Animi. Good job Tui. If you ever want to write a future book with Animi you can now.)

But just... Okay the obvious reason Tui did this was so they can't use magic to defeat the plants... But hey guess what? What you could've done is a spell where no magic can ever cause harm. Boom. Fixed it.

Then they can't use it to just kill Wasp. They'd have to find a way around it. Isn't that more interesting than taking it away? Like I'm sorry it's just... It's so boring and stupid.

This is exactly like when in fantasy movies they always have to leave the magic behind. Oh wow magical world. Oh wow friends. Oh no you have to go home but you're okay. Cuz being normal is good.

Cut it with the condescending crap! It pissed me off when I was 6 (seriously guys Narnia was an... Event when you watched it with 6year old tree) and it ticks me off as a 21 year old adult!

We're reading these books for the magic! Don't introduce it and then write it out so lazily! Even as a kid this would upset me.

But um yeah. So Jerboa? I kind of wish you didn't exist. Yes your backstory is... Deliciously tragic. And I'm just the sicko to find it fascinating. But y'know what. I could've lived without the taking magic away. No.

And another reason this upsets me?

Turtle. Hey anyone remember the end of his book. When he had a shut down when his magic was taken away? A vital piece of himself? No?

Well it seems like Tui has too. And it just... Fuck guys. I cried at that part! And I was ecstatic when he got it back. But nah guys.

Animus magic is too convenient. Better scratch that. Not try and be creative.

Blegh...

Oh wait... Hold on. Yeah so remember the ring? Yes the magic ring? That I'm kind of on the fence about? Guess what it adds another layer against Jerboa doing what she did. The ring shows the good magic can do. And then we had the crown showing the bad... I just .. I don't know I feel about this guy's. I just wish they weren't a thing. Cuz now I just feel like there could've been a dialogue about the good and evil of magic. But there's not really. Let's be real here. Once again one person made a decision without talking to anyone else. And I hate that. I want dialogue guys. I want conflict and then talking. You can't have one person be it all.

Cuz that's just as bad as one person running the show. But this is never gonna come up again. Just like Peacemaker is just gonna... Be Peacemaker. And it's all just... So upsetting I don't know.

I am so genuinely upset by these cheap cop outs guys. And I'm tired.

Anyway sorry guys. Prolly not the rant y'all expected. But I'm tired now. And emotionally drained from writing this.

Sounding totally cliche. I miss the magic of this series. But I feel like it's been getting drained from it. Literally and figuratively.

[stitch1830]

🎩

I'm fine and dandy,

Mind i ask your opinion on what became of the Gaang in LOK? I know the Toph being a cop thing ruffles some feathers and some don't accept Aang was a bad father.

HAT ANON HI glad to hear you are fine and dandy on this exquisite day of the week. And OOF this is a loaded question, but I'll do my best! :)

So I feel like there are a couple ways to answer this question based on your shipping preferences, but for the sake of this I'll try and answer everything based on what is considered canon. So ATLA, comics, and LOK.

I'll also preface by saying that I get why there are some controversial takes in LOK... I think they were trying to make the characters have more depth and show that even our favorite characters have flaws, even when they're adults. I just think that in some situations it was OOC and it leaves a bad taste in your mouth when you see where the Gaang went from the start to the end of ATLA, and then to see glimpses of their adult life and only seeing the trashiest parts.

Aang: If he's with Katara, it's not surprising to me that he's not a great father. Like, he has very strong opinions about his culture and while Katara is just as passionate about her upbringing, there isn't a ton of evidence of Aang accommodating the children's upbringing to also integrate SWT traditions in their lifestyle. I don't think he was outwardly trying to be a bad dad or anything, but his desperation to pass down Air Nomad traditions to an airbender overshadowed his primary need to be a father to all three of his kids. It's also really hard to see him as still this happy, lovable nice guy who treats everyone with kindness and respect when we know that he practically ignored 2 of his kids... But basically, his 'bad takes' as a dad were left unchecked, and his actions were probably defended by his wife as opposed to having to face them.

Katara: This one hurt lol. Again, it's not surprising that when she's with Aang that she chooses to settle down and be a wife and mother and healer. Aang's the Avatar, he's busy, their two oldest children are really rambunctious and are craving attention, so it's gonna be Katara to give them the love and care they need. But based on what we see in ATLA, it's just sad that we don't get to see or hear about any changes she made in the world or fighting. She really does seem to be ushered off to the side, left to retire in SWT after Aang dies. It's also sad/crazy that her strength and ability to stand up to disrespectful or ignorant people goes away when she's an adult. And I feel like this is glaring in her relationship with Aang and then also when Korra is finishing up training in the SWT. The other masters are whining that Korra isn't ready and Katara says she is and then the men keep complaining and whining. Like, no way would ATLA Katara let that go without her giving her two cents. Yes, she does help Korra leave, but she definitely would've said something to those old hoots. It's also weird that her strong resolve doesn't show up when she's raising her children with Aang. Why didn't she confront him? And if she did, how come nothing changed? Maybe it was too late, but idk. Katara doesn't seem like the person to let things go after she stood up to the problem once. Essentially, I'm upset that Katara was this strong and powerful female protagonist in ATLA, but not really hear about her amazing strides in the world in LOK (because if she did change the world, they didn't mention it... sad).

Sokka: Hmmm, he's not really ever shown in the show except in one flashback (because he's dead tears), but from what it sounds like, he didn't have any children, didn't sound like he ever really settled down, nothing like that. I think it would be sad if Aunt Wu's fortune was true and he never really ended up happy because of things he did. Would that be considered OOC? I don't think so... He was the goofy guy and the brains of the operations, but he seems like the guy that is afraid of being happy or ruins things when he is happy. My only reasoning for this is when he lost Yue, it changed him on some level, and at first he tried to push away Suki when she was initiating a kiss. Pretty light and lame reasons, but it's something....

Suki: MY GIRL SUKI NOT MENTIONED THAT'S SO OOC. Lol. Like, why didn't she randomly pop up from time to time? Are the Kyoshi Warriors just not around? I don't like that she wasn't in LOK, not even in a small flashback or anything. She was friends with the Gaang and it seems odd that no one mentioned their dear friend that helped save the world with them even if she passed away or anything. And also I don't think a casual statement about her settling in the suburbs counts as canon lol.

Toph: Okay. I don't hate that she's a cop. It's not really in character, but I don't hate it. If all of her friends settled in Republic City, and they all had their own responsibilities to deal with and asked Toph to run the RCPD, I think she would say yes out of loyalty to her friends, maybe out of boredom. I'm surprised she was in the role as long as she was, though... She was starting to get bored of her metalbending academy after a year or two once things were running smoothly, so she seems like the kind of woman that would search for the next adventure. But if she had to be a cop, I think she'd much rather be the one enforcing the rules at the top as opposed to following the rules, but... yeah. In a canon universe I struggle to come up with a long-term career for her, so I made my peace with the cop thing. Many of my friends haven't though lol, which is okay! Another thing I didn't like was how she was portrayed as a bad mother. Not that she was a bad mother (as much as it would suck, I can kind of see her being a bad mom), but they way she was a bad mom didn't really fit her character. She was neglected as a kid, doesn't seem right that she in turn would neglect her kids by giving them too much freedom. Also! My least favorite thing was how she had a 20/30 year rift with her girls, and then it was suddenly resolved. Like... No we need some more context to the conflict, and we need to see work being put into the resolution if we're going to bring this up. If Lin held a grudge against her family for 30 years, a short "sorry I wasn't a great mom, hope you don't hate me" comment isn't going to make her forgive them lol. I do like how she was portrayed as a single mother to two girls. She doesn't really seem like the type to settle down, and it was a nice surprise to see her have daughters from different men. Families come in all shapes and sizes, and it would've been the perfect opportunity to show those differences and show that there's more than one way to have a positive upbringing (Like, let's see the cloudbabies and the Beifongs both happy even though they had two very different parental upbringings? Just... there was an opportunity is all). And yeah, she seems like the one that would never settle down or have a family, so it would've been interesting to see her handle motherhood and her job! So I'm okay with that bit.

Zuko: Okay Zuko seems chill in canon, but who's his wife? Where she at? He got a partner or anything? We may never know... But it's nice that he appeared to have a happy life with good kids and grandkids... And yet I'm confused as to why Korra preferred to go to Zuko instead of the Avatar's wife for advice on what Aang would have done when choosing between saving the Air Nomads and turning herself in to the Red Lotus?? Like, I know Katara was in the SWT, but they have phones now, you're telling me they couldn't have called Katara? Why wasn't Katara the first person they thought to ask about the situation? I know the logistics would've been difficult considering Katara is holed up in the SWT, but why did everyone say that Zuko knew Aang the best? Why didn't his wife know him the best? Thoughts to ponder.

Okay. I wrote a lot and there's probably more that I do and don't like about how the characters were portrayed... But I think what it all boils down to is that there was an opportunity to still get depth in these beloved characters without us being frustrated with situations that are OOC. Then again, that would make it less about the Krew and more about the Gaang... It just seems like a bit of a slap to the face when we see glaring problems with the Gaang's characterization, and yet, we get no explanation. It does allow for canon writers to play with the 70 years in between, but idk. I much prefer AU's where there's time and opportunity to explore the characters as their best selves I suppose. Honestly, with my disinterest and disliking of canon ships, I don't see the bad takes in LOK as OOC, but it makes me wonder how different things could have been if other ships were made canon (thank goodness they weren't, we're not pigeonholed into one type of story, but still).

Does this kind of answer your question? Lol, sorry if not. My thoughts are all over the place with this one! Thank you for the ask, though, Hatty. Hope you have a great day! :)

[florrickandassociates]

TGF Thoughts: 5x09-- And the end was violent...

It’s been a busy week, but I didn’t want to wait until after 5x10 aired to write this. This recap may be a bit rushed (read: I am going to make an effort to just skip over scenes I don’t care about; we’ll see how many of those there actually are). I didn’t love this episode overall, but I thought it was a huge improvement over 5x08’s parking ticket fiasco and wish it had immediately followed 5x07.

Bless these episodes for not being overly long

Oooh, the opening sequence is long and I have nothing to say about it! Thanks for making my life easier, writers!  

The point of this opening is to show that there are lots of problems with the official court system—inefficiencies, inconveniences like broken elevators, overcrowding in prisons (though, uh, I don’t think the actual problem there is that there’s not room to incarcerate more people)-- that might make cops open to an alternative like Wackner’s court.

I know the cop thread kind of started with last week’s parking nonsense, but surely there was a way other than the parking nonsense to bridge the gap between 5x07’s prison system and 5x09’s focus on Wackner’s court suddenly being a replacement for criminal court, too.

(Y’all, I have SO MANY questions about how Wackner can POSSIBLY judge criminal cases, but they’re all just variations on... UH, GUYS, ISN’T THIS ILLEGAL? LIKE SUPER DUPER ILLEGAL?)  

I see that there is a filming notice when the cops bring a dude into Wackner’s court, and that the notice says that by entering on the premises you consent to being on film. I do not think that this sign being displayed would hold up as evidence of anyone consenting to be sentenced to a private prison on criminal charges.

New question: How did Wackner Rules get on the air so fast? And are they just filming endless episodes in real time? They just film anyone who walks in?  

I think there is supposed to be a subplot about Marissa liking fame and attention; it is almost a little too subtle to be meaningful. I see a through line from her sleeping with that editor dude last week to her smiling at the flowers in this scene to her scenes with Carmen later this episode. Unfortunately, I need a lot more for this to work.

I don’t need Marissa to be a hero who constantly does the right thing and calls out Wackner on crossing the line, but I’m really sad that this is what they’re using Marissa for when we were due for Marissa calling Wackner out (in a meaningful, lasting way) like two episodes ago. It’s felt odd to me that she just sticks around and assists Wackner and Del when they’re doing things like putting people in private prisons and comparing the show they’re making to The Apprentice. Any subtle shift in Wackner’s decisions that has signaled to me that he’s gone too far is something that I can say with certainty would signal the same to Marissa. Marissa’s outspoken and passionate, and we have seen enough reaction shots to know she knows things are going bad, fast. Am I really meant to believe that because she likes Wackner and she likes fame, she’s not going to do anything more substantial than look upset from time to time? Not only does that feel out of character, it’s also just boring.  

And, it speaks to another problem I’m starting to have with the arc: they needed to get to the point faster. Once Wackner said “David Cord’s private prison,” this stopped being fun. It would’ve stopped being fun for Marissa and it stopped being fun for viewers (seriously though, the change in tone on Reddit between 5x07 and 5x08/5x09 is VERY noticeable). So why did we follow that up with some repetitive filler bullshit about parking spaces and then start getting back to the point in this episode? I’m sure they’re going somewhere big in 5x10, but you can’t follow an explosive reveal with more status quo.

(Also, lol, I think the parking space thing was meant to be a fun silly absurd little way of entering into themes about authority and Wackner trying to legitimize his court, but it was about an issue so relatable and illogical that I think it feels even harder to believe than the, like, whole concept of a secret court in a Copy Coop.)  

Time for Marissa to look concerned again! She’s confused about if the case is real or not, and when Wackner says it’s real, she says it’s not for their court and it’s crossing a line. She is absolutely correct. Wackner’s like, let me know if you think I’m crossing a line after I rule, and then he makes a silly flailing gesture that Marissa can use as a signal.

I actually don’t hate that scene; it is a good scene. I am only snarking on it because it feels like familiar territory and it belonged in an earlier episode.

Am I correctly understanding that these cops wanted to be filmed bringing a man against his will to a fake court with a private prison? And that they wanted this to air on television? Okay.

I will say that I believe the motivations of everyone involved except Marissa. Wackner thinks he’s doing good for the world. Del is getting good TV (I mean, I still think that Wackner Rules title sequence is shit and the show Del seems to be making is terrible, but that’s besides the point). Cord has so much money he’s untouchable and this is fun for him. The cops just don’t want to deal with bureaucracy when it comes to someone who they basically caught in the act.  

Court! Stuff! Happens!

Wackner sentences the guy to one year in “David Cord’s private prison.” Again, I know they have to say this for exposition/storytelling reasons, but I continue to find it hilarious that David Cord would want his name to be used in this way (because he like, absolutely would not want his name to be used this way).

The cops like Wackner’s verdict so they tell all their friends to also take their cases to Wackner. What could possibly go wrong!  

Like, yeah, there are problems with the criminal justice system—and some of them are even the ones these cops are mad about—but this is ABSOLUTELY not the answer!!! You cannot just take people off the streets and place them in private prisons because they were forced to enter a filming zone for a TV show what the actual fuck

Love David Lee still having candy on his desk. Some things never change.

Allegra, who was welcomed by the partners of RL last week, is interviewing for a job with David Lee. I don’t understand. Doesn’t David Lee have to approve new partners at RL?  

Please don’t mention real estate on Mars, Allegra. You’ve made me think of Jason and how bad season seven was.

Allegra is feeling a bit different from Elsbeth this episode, though she very much still has some Elsbeth energy. She is very strategic and blunt in a way Elsbeth isn’t, and she seems a little more focused and intense.  

“I notice, in a partisan world, the person in the middle controls the agenda,” Allegra says of her alliances with both Liz and Diane. This is interesting. What are Allegra’s goals here? Just to have power? Does she have a vision for RL? Is it just a good paycheck?

(My guess is it’s about power and money for her. I don’t think she is going to be the ally Madeline wants. I don’t think anyone who voluntarily signs up to be a name partner at a firm owned by corporate overlords is a natural ally for Madeline though, tbh.)

(I really hoped this arc would explore that just a tiny bit more. The longer this conflict drags on the more convinced I become that the whole question of if it’s appropriate for Diane to lead a black firm is moot. It’s an interesting and complicated question, but with some distance from the plot, it becomes pretty clear that in this particular situation, RL isn’t a black firm. It’s a subsidiary of a large multinational corporation.)

(The show seems very aware of this and keeps having plot points like Diane using David Lee to keep her job and having Madeline call out all the awful clients they have... but it needs to go somewhere.)

(This also may be why I’m more down on the end of the season—in the middle of the season, nods at the things I’ve been thinking are appreciated references. At the end, they’re more like plotholes or reminders of the questions we should actually be spending time on.)

“Are you shitting me?” David Lee storms into the room as Liz and Diane are working. “David, we are shitting you about so many things, you’re gonna have to be more specific,” Liz responds. God, funny!Liz is maybe my favorite part of season 5?  

Liz calls David out on his power, noting that he also reports to STR Laurie. So it seems like Liz and Diane can make decisions on their own, and STR Laurie can overrule them, but not stop them in advance?  

This little ad about an ice cream chain is like, 15 seconds too long.  

Carmen is back!!!! She’s helping Rivi sign a deal with an ice cream chain so that they’ll turn into a distributor of weed.  

Why do we have to watch a SECOND commercial?  

The farm wants Rivi to stop dealing other drugs if they’re going to enter into this deal.  

Allegra, another character who seemingly has no qualms about representing drug kingpins, quickly impresses Rivi.  

I understand why there is an interpreter for Rivi’s wife. I do not understand why the interpreter interprets conversations BETWEEN Rivi and his wife. And then he’s translating the sign language into Spanish? But also Rivi speaks fluent English in half of these scenes? WHAT is happening?  

Allegra is also different from Elsbeth in that with clients, you’re NEVER going to underestimate her. You might not follow her at first, but she’ll get to the point clearly and concisely and without telling you how much she likes your lipstick.

But like at 13:44 Rivi signs something to his wife, and when she signs back the interpreter tells him what she’s saying. This is so so so clearly for the audience but I wish it had just been captions because it makes NO SENSE that the interpreter is in on this private conversation between two people who both know sign language!?  

Rivi and Isabel now LOVE Allegra. Diane and Liz are like, okay!  

Cop stuff happens.  

Credits!!! If you haven’t already, be sure to check out indiewire’s piece on the making of the credits—it's fascinating.  

Brooke directed 😀  

Marissa the celebrity is signing autographs in Wackner’s court when the cops bring in some young men affiliated with Rivi.  

NO, GOD NO, NOT THIS DEVIL’S ADVOCATE FUCKERY. The problem I have with the Devil’s Advocate, in addition to it being fucking annoying, is that it is also the exact opposite of what Wackner’s court is all about. Wackner is about facts and really hearing people out, and from what we’ve seen, Devil’s Advocate is about... stereotypes and pop sociology so bad it’s essentially just racism?  

“These young men are the victims of a system that arbitrarily declares some drugs illegal, and others, like alcohol, not. They should be released. To hold them is to perpetuate an unfair system,” Devil’s Advocate says. Good lord, a 7th grader could write a more persuasive speech than this bullshit.  

WHY IS DAVID CORD PROSECUTING THIS, WHY IS THE TRIAL ABOUT WHETHER OR NOT DRUGS HARM COMMUNITIES, WHY IS THE DEVIL’S ADVOCATE SOUNDING LIKE A WHITE BOY IN AN INTRO TO SOCIOLOGY CLASS WITH HIS REFERENCES TO THE WIRE, WHY IS ANY OF THIS HAPPENING OMG MAKE IT STOP HOLY FUCKING SHIT THIS IS BAD

Why is Marissa the court clerk being called upon to be defense, WHY IS THE DEVIL’S ADVOCATE JUST SCREAMING “DEFUND THE POLICE” WHAT THE FUCK

I’m sorry, I am going to rant about this more, I truly cannot get over how fucking stupid the Devil’s Advocate is. He just starts screaming “defund the police”??? To what end?! Why does Wackner want this in his court?!  

I revise what I said earlier. Devil’s Advocate isn’t just sounding a white boy in an intro to sociology class. He is sounding like a white boy who showed up to an intro to sociology class absolutely hammered.

Marissa, correctly, argues that the arrestees should be taken to Cook County. Then she hears that they work for Rivi and she knows this is bad.  

Cord calling Marissa out for her firm representing Rivi: Another thing that would NEVER air on Wackner Rules.

David Lee seems surprised Liz and Diane did not get rid of Allegra. I don’t know why he is surprised, I think they made it very clear they don’t see him as an authority figure.

STR Laurie is now demanding (another) 10% in cuts to pay for Allegra. Liz says they’ll pay for her with the money that used to be for Adrian and Diane notes that Allegra has more stature than Adrian. Interesting.  

David Lee then decides to be both sexist and racist for really no reason at all. Pleasant!  

Showing Carmen as competent but not yet as strategic as Allegra is a really nice way to underline that Carmen is still a first year even if she is very very good.

Liz, Diane, and Allegra talk about cost cutting. Allegra is like, no, we need to spend more, which makes sense, both for the reasons she outlines and because when you bring on a powerful name partner, your need for lower level support does not DECREASE, it INCREASES.  

I know this scene is meant to show Allegra thinking outside the box, but I am a bit surprised that (1) Neither Liz nor Diane push back on the 10% cut and (2) When Allegra suggests hiring back all the associates and then some, Diane seems to think Allegra doesn’t understand they’re talking about cuts? Like, obviously she knows the topic of conversation, Diane.  

“We don’t run our own business. We work for a global conglomerate,” Liz notes. Yup. Right point, wrong context lol.

Diane and Liz are just too smart and strategic to have to be told ALL of this by Allegra... especially Diane, who is not only smart but also used to dealing with management.  

And worse... Liz and Diane think they made a mistake with Allegra because of this? I mean, I guess if your goal is to permanently work for a big corporation that will slowly chip away at your budget because they can and to never make any waves because that might disrupt the status quo, sure, Allegra isn’t who you want! But do Diane and Liz REALLY want the status quo?  

I hope they find a way out from under STR Laurie next year, as much as I hate the firm switching, because it’s just such a boring dead-end when Diane and Liz don’t actually have power or control.

OOOH I like Del asking Liz what SHE wants wrt the whole Diane situation. She says she wants to “stop fighting” and for Diane to “stop using her racist clients to keep her job” and for “the firm to be led in the right way by the right people.” So sounds like she wants to work with Diane, then? That last one is as vague as can be, but I think we can infer at this point that Liz is more concerned with stability and a work environment she likes than idealism.

God, Liz and Alicia would’ve gotten along so well as adults lmao.

Del tells Liz that “women at work always want to be thought of as nice. Women always want consensus. But you know what, baby, sometimes you just gotta say, ‘Fuck you, and you and you and you. Alright? This is my business and it’s my decision.’” I see where he’s coming from (even though this sounds like something my nemesis the Devil’s Advocate would say) but I am not sure I agree that’s Liz’s problem here.  

Actually, maybe I do agree with Del. I think Del’s saying to say FU to Diane, but what Liz clearly actually wants to do is say FU to Madeline lol

Liz asks him to change the topic. Where ARE they? Is this a restaurant or an incredibly nice backyard?  

Del changes the topic to how his boss wants him to come back to LA, but he wants to get Liz’s thoughts on their future. Liz asks him to start since men are better at saying what they mean (ha, love her giving him shit for that).  

He basically tells her he wants to stay and she says he should stay. Aww.  

Rivi’s house is... certainly something.  

Isabel is concerned because three of their boys have disappeared. She, naturally, suspects they’re at police blacksites.  

I’m sorry, did Marissa not elevate the Rivi case in Wackner’s court to the partners’ attention!? Rivi blames the dairy company, even though this does not... make that much sense?

This escalates into the murder of cows?? What... the fuck.

Now Marissa finds Carmen and loops her in! But only now that she knows Rivi’s looking for them and Rivi’s about to, like, kill Christian Borle’s character whose name I’ve forgotten.  

Marissa’s position on this is that Wackner will just let the boys go so Rivi shouldn’t know about any of this. Rivi would just kill Wackner. And Carmen is like, Rivi will just kill Christian Borle if we don’t tell. Fair point.  

Carmen, being an actual adult (sorry Marissa, I usually love you), is willing to admit when she’s in over her head, so she walks off to go get Liz for help. Yay!  

Rivi is not impressed with Wackner’s court or Marissa. He and Isabel want either Carmen or Allegra. Liz says Carmen will do it, I think meaning Marissa will do it but Carmen will be client facing.  

I love it when we get to see Liz just be super competent. It’s not a rare occurrence, but it’s just very, very clear in this scene how much better Liz is at handling this situation than Carmen or Marissa would’ve been and I like it when the show makes time to emphasize that even on a show full of hypercompetent people, some people are more skilled than others at handling some situations.

Liz, Diane, and David meet with STRL over Zoom. Allegra somehow pops up on the meeting but also joins as a cat because you know what the cat lawyer on Zoom needed? To be parodied on TGF. Ugh

OH MY GOD I DIDN’T PUT THIS TOGETHER SOONER BUT IT’S A CAT LAWYER YOU GUYS. This will mean NOTHING to any of you because it’s about an inside joke I have with the friend who got me into TGW, but indulge me in a little nostalgia here, ‘kay? So in like 2012, there was a trend on Tumblr where everyone would photoshop cat ears onto their favorite TV characters and my friend and I were like, why would I want to put cat ears on my favorite character, idgi. So then we started photoshopping cat ears on to the most unlikely characters and we landed on David Lee. We referred to David Lee as a cat for a really long time. Like, if we were to talk about David Lee today we would probably still call him Cat! David Lee.  

Allegra starts trying to work her magic on STRL.  Diane literally runs down the stairs to try to stop Allegra. I am not sure why Diane and Liz are so anti-Allegra during this conversation which is only happening so they can have the funds to keep her on board!  

Allegra tries to share a burrito with Diane and Liz and says she stands by her strategy. Liz finally says she’s not sure this will work. Allegra is understanding.

I respect that. Allegra may as well go all out and see if she can make this workable.  

(That said, this is pretty much the opposite of her whole staying neutral thing from earlier!)

No one is in the audience at Wackner’s court when Carmen shows up, yet the musician who I like only very slightly more than Devil’s Advocate is still on call. Just STOP.  

Overall I’ve liked the Wackner arc and I’m excited to see it wrap up tomorrow, but lemme tell you: it had better wrap up tomorrow. I am NOT open to dealing with this for another season.

The musician takes orders from Cord? The cameras are rolling? Rivi is there? WHAT?  

I know that NONE of this makes sense, but some things make exceptionally little sense and I just can’t.

Guys, remember the parking tickets?!  

Oh, excuse me, the ice cream company is actually a yogurt company.

Rivi notes that there are three boys missing. Wackner only has two.  

I am a little surprised Rivi has managed to be successful with that temper. Idk what skill set you need to be a top drug dealer, but he attacks people like three times an episode and that seems like a really good way to not build trust and to also get yourself killed?  

Liz and Del talk about what happened in Wackner’s court. Liz asks how they deal with liability. I guess she isn’t Del’s lawyer, then. Del says they have releases and people want to be on TV. Liz says what I’ve been saying, which is that Rivi doesn’t want to be on TV. Del says there are ways around that and references the show Cops as though that’s enough to make this question go completely away.  

Liz references The Apprentice, for those of us who didn’t catch the reference last week and/or for those of us (me!) who wanted to pretend that Wackner wasn’t somehow a commentary on Trump and star power. Ugh.  

(I don’t necessarily think it’s a bad point, I just am not sure that I think it is the most interesting point about the Wackner plot.)  

“Remember how we all watched and laughed and thought it was funny when they fired people?” Liz says. “We? No, no. Hmm, you... you never watched The Apprentice,” Del responds. She did not. Hahahahahaha I love this exchange. It feels very real.

Liz seems less concerned with Wackner and more concerned with Del’s eagerness to turn Wackner into a larger than life personality with a devoted following, which, yes, thank you, Liz, this is actually a much better and more interesting point!  

“That came out of nowhere,” Del says. “No, it didn’t,” Liz responds, correctly.  

Del talks about how Liz represents Wackner, along with murderers, rapists, drug dealers, and yet she wants to draw the line at reality show producer who makes people famous? He’s got a point, even if I’d argue that choosing a romantic partner is not the same as running a business.  

“Would your firm turn down [the producer of The Apprentice] if he wanted to join the roster?” Del asks. “Good point,” Liz sighs, resigned. She’s not happy he’s right, but she knows he is.  

Sigh. I already said some variation of this, but this season seems to have all the right ideas floating around, it’s just choosing the wrong ones to explore deeply and the wrong moments to mention other ones. Things like Liz worrying that someone she’s considering starting a serious relationship with might have some personality traits she doesn’t love can be done through throwaway lines that quickly come back to being about work/plot (that’s what happens in this scene, basically) and I love that. But the existence of STRL and the influence it has over whether or not RL is a black firm at some point can’t be dealt with through references. Wackner becoming increasingly off the rails can’t be turned down to a simmer after reaching boiling point. RL’s unsavory client’s can’t just come up in moments like this; they have to play into a central conflict.  

Like, what good is it to constantly remind the audience that RL represents a ton of “bad guys” if you’re not going to go anywhere with that other than making Liz and Diane occasionally be like, “hmm, good point.” when called out on their client list? This could be a really, really good piece of a larger puzzle about the culture at RL, and instead it feels like it’s a card they play whenever they need some moral complexity. Just... go somewhere with it, please. Either stop pretending that RL are the good guys or have them seriously deal with their client list.

Anyway, then Liz and Del talk about his possible LA move. It’s kinda inconclusive; they talk about work just being work.

Outside of court, Carmen doesn’t believe that Wackner only has two of Rivi’s boys.  

“I don’t know why you’ve been wasting so much time with this joke court, because it’s not gonna magically turn you into a real lawyer, Marissa,” Carmen lashes out. Oooo. Now this is interesting, can I have an extended version of this scene and also all the other Carmen/Marissa scenes that we should’ve gotten in the episodes Carmen was barely in?  

I understand Carmen’s frustration, especially since I imagine she worked pretty damn hard to get into/get through law school. And, as fun and smart as Marissa can be, she does get bored easily, try to skip over the dull moments, and moves on and still always lands on her feet. I can see how that would rub Carmen the wrong way, especially during a stressful moment.

Carmen isn’t exactly a rule follower, but I’d say she is someone who is very conscious of the rules, and, I think someone who values structure more than she lets on (I especially see this in her decision to stay at RL instead of work independently/with Lester).  

Marissa calls Jay for help!

Allegra talks to David Lee, with Liz and Diane in the background. Allegra makes her argument to  David Lee again and it goes over well. I think the writers think there’s more suspense in this plot than there is; it’s pretty obvious from the start that Allegra is correct and Diane and Liz are only correct if the goal is to avoid all conflict.

What is David Lee’s role at STRL? Is there anything else in that office besides awful HR and RL? He talks like he is more RL than STRL and that doesn’t track with what we saw of STRL last year.

Marissa spots a flyer that leads her and Jay to where the missing boy is: another fake court. This was inevitable—I think one of the very first things I said was that Wackner himself seemed fine and decent, but what happens when someone else decides they, too, want to be a judge because they said so—and I’m glad to see the writers go this direction. I actually think this would’ve been an effective build after 5x07 and would’ve kept turning up the tension, so again, most of my issues with this arc lie in 5x08’s momentum killing bullshit. It’s hard to get back into this plot when they lost me last week.

Shocker: Wackner having a reality show inspired more copy cats who take cues from the show and think Marissa is a celebrity.  

Vinetta, the judge of the second court, puts people in “time-out” (read: imprisons them in her basement) and... yeah, I don’t care how kind she is to them, this is not okay! The solution to the prison system is not for people to turn their basements into prisons!  

I don’t know that the writers are TRYING to comment on this here, but there is definitely something to be said about communities that the legal system repeatedly fails finding alternative measures of justice.  

Vinetta is nice and seems reasonable as a judge, but she also has a basement prison her judgments are influenced by her religious believes so, uh, yeah, not good!!!  

Wackner, however, thinks Vinetta’s court is GREAT! He wants to go see it, because “it’s finally happening.” What’s happening? “Justice,” he says. Uhhhhhhh, no. This is just so dangerous, even if everyone involved so far seems to mean well.  

I’m very curious to see how this little thought experiment wraps up (again: I say wraps up because I cannot deal with the thought of this being more than a one season arc).

One thing I love about the Wackner arc—my 5x08 issues aside—is its slow burn. The writers did a phenomenal job of getting me to take Wackner seriously at first, then slowly started to take all the things that seemed great and reasonable about Wackner’s court to their extremes (while still making his judgment on any individual topic* sound). It’s a very fun and entertaining thought experiment, and I think that’s why this arc has largely succeeded for me, even though it’s so far removed from reality.  

* Exceptions to this include policing, prisons, cancel culture, and, of course, parking spaces.  

[onisiondrama]

(Note: I’m not repeating stories he’s told before and just putting them in parenthesis. I have a lot more videos to go until I’m caught up so that would save me a lot of time. If he gives details I never heard from him before, I will type those.)

“Should I Get A Divorce?” Speaks,  Oct 6, 2020

- This video is weird. He’s trying to make himself seem smart and insightful about marriage because his marriage is “successful”, while most people complain about their marriage. - There’s one part where he says people don’t understand you don’t have to be lied to or cheated on in a relationship. Which is pretty ironic coming from him. He shows a clip of an upset wife asking her husband what he’s doing with a woman in a bedroom. The husband and the woman are getting dressed. The husband keeps asking “Who?” “What?”, pretending the woman isn’t there. Later he shows more of the clip where the wife is still questing him. He keeps pretending he doesn’t know what she’s talking about. She looks in the bedroom again and the woman is gone. The wife looks confused. Love that gaslighting. Just like when Jamsey boi cheats. “I didn’t cheat. It was the other person who cheated on you, my spouse” “You said I can’t have oral or vaginal sex with your friend. You didn’t say anything about anal.” - In another part he says there are people who constantly complain about their s/o and they hide away in a man cave.. he says this while in his garage man cave. 😑 Which we know he spends most of his time in. Like, way longer than normal working hours.  - He says he used to look angry in his old Speaks videos because of his marriage at the time. That’s total crap. He only shows clips from videos where he used his old militant persona for videos like his anti-meat videos. He made plenty of mushy Speaks videos talking about how happy he was with Skye back then too. 🙄 - I think he made this video during his short guru / advise phase.

“gotta say goodbye for a little bit” Speaks, October 8, 2020

- Tells his viewers they can listen to this video without watching it if they like to listen to people talk, like Kai used to do. [This is definitely meant to be another guru / advise type video. I can tell by his tone.] - Says he’s married to Kai for almost 8 years. (How Kai found James story) Says he married a fan and had children with them. He says they now have an awesome dynamic, but he knocks on wood because people who are together 18 years still get divorces. Says you never know, things can suddenly fall apart. - Says it’s cool because at the time he didn’t listen to social standards. Kai was 17 at the time, but lied about his age. Most people would have said don’t go for the relationship because Kai lied and the age gap, even though it was legal. He listened to the law and his heart and now he’s in the happiest marriage of his life. - “F society.” If he listened to society, he wouldn’t know where he’d be or what relationship he’d be in. Says you have to follow the legal system or your life is ruined. - Says he was an air force cop at one point because he believed in justice. He doesn’t think he wanted to shoot people, but he excelled in the cop program. He says he met Magic Johnson in the cafeteria at Lackland Air Force Base. He barely knew who Magic Johnson was, but he thought it was cool a famous basketball player was there. James asked him if he could take a picture and he said yes. He says he took a picture of him like a reporter and not a selfie. He still regrets that. - Says he wants to talk about the future of this channel. Some people appreciate he’s been uploading every day, but he wants to focus on sites that aren’t shadow banning people or algorithmically demoting people. He feels like Youtube is king in letting negative opinions prevail, even if it’s invalid. If the engagement shows people are mad at you, Youtube used to go the harsh truth route. He says that was nice. He says he once made a fake meltdown video in response to a video Leafy made about him. He says it’s fun for him to make fake meltdowns. - He says he and Kai took a quiz today and found out Kai’s IQ is 136 and his is 129, so Kai is smarter than him. - After the meltdown videos, Youtube algorithm didn’t favor him as much. He says maybe it was because he said they were fake. - He says he has been thinking about websites and how they treat users. Says Twitter is one the best because they don’t care about what your opinion is. They just care about their rules. Says if people don’t like you on other sites, they will shadow-ban you and you’re done for. He says his reaction video to Leafy’s video got 1/6th the views Leafy did, so there was a bleed over of traffic. Now when someone says something negative about you, YouTube will only promote videos that agree with that narrative. Says if you only want to hear negative stuff about Joe Biden, you’ll only see negative stuff. He says it’s financially productive, but it’s not ethically productive.

[I just want to pause here and vent a second. Yes, James fell out of the YouTube algorithm, but he’s had plenty of chances to sweep back into it. Like when he was getting tons of views on those fake meltdown videos in January. The reason those viewers didn’t stay is because there is nothing good for them to watch. His Speaks videos are boring, long, rambling messes. He repeats himself, contradicts himself, talks about the same topics over and over. These videos are mind-numbingly boring. His comedy videos are extremely outdated. The characters, topics, and humor he uses are not going to get him anywhere anymore. Like is the Death Note fandom really that strong in 2020? That anime came out 14 years ago for Christ sake. His music is not particularly good or interesting. On top of all this, his reputation is complete garbage.

People just don’t want to watch Onision. If the algorithm tried promoting his Speaks videos, I guarantee most people are actively choosing not to click on his videos. The non-subscribers that do click probably regret it. He’s made ZERO effort into making interesting or engaging content. He’s ONLY been making Speaks content that either fuels his ego or defends himself using the same old arguments he’s used 100+ times before. He’s got to be in some kind of deep denial if he thinks his Youtube views are down because of the algorithm. 

There used to be a saying that whenever Onision’s fans grow out of him, there will always be a crop of young teens that start watching him. That’s not happening anymore. It’s not cool for the alt / loner kids to watch edgy Youtube videos anymore.]

- Says people only want to hear things they agree with, people want to take what he says out of context, blah, blah. I’m only 1/4th of the way through this damn video. - He asks why he’s busting his butt when there’s no chance for him to prevail on Youtube or anywhere. He says he’s on TikTok, OnlyFans, Twitch. [This video was from before his partnership was taken away on Twitch.] He says those are slightly less problematic because they are driven by human beings and not drama. - He says when you see him posting less to Youtube in the future, you’ll understand why. He says he wants to wait you guys out, 2 years, 20 years. (He tried to call out Shane story.) He says he had to wait a year or two until people admitted he was right about Shane. He says he has conflicting feeling about Shane because they had a personal friendship. Says Shane told him they were friends. - He says you guys seem to drive your narrative and agendas by emotion rather than science and facts. He can’t reason with them unless he picked a greater evil and wages war on that. You would have to join forces with him because the enemy of my enemy is my friend. He says he wouldn’t do that because he’s not interested in being a professional wrestler and making fake drama. - In time you will feel passionately about other things. You don’t actually care about anyone involved because none of you are consuming yourself with anything that is not pop culture. You’re only interested in things other people are pretending to care about. None of you would care if someone found three bodies in a basement. If they were not celebrities you wouldn’t care. You only want justice for things that will get you attention. - If someone builds their whole platform about anti-person they might get bored and become anti-you. That’s why you don’t want to be friends with dramatic people. - He says he was dramatic about things, but that’s because he did care about those things. He wasn’t talking about 3 bodies in the basement either. - Says a long time ago when a celebrity died, he pointed out 30 people were murdered and washed ashore in another country. No one was talking about it because they probably didn’t hear about it. Nobody actually cares about human lives. If you did, every second that a human dies you’d be tweeting about it. - (Sarah blackmail story.) He says in a number of words Sarah said she wouldn’t ruin his life if she slept with him, then went back on it. [Wow. He really morphed his original story. It used to be: One time she jokingly said she could ruin our lives. Later we wanted her to sign an NDA and she said only if she gets something out of it, meaning sex. James said it was “good vibes” that day and he perceived that as her being kinky. She also said it was just a joke in the “proof” clip he always uses. They signed the NDA, then James pressured / tricked Kai into having sex with himself and Sarah. Then Sarah later came back and he decided they should have anal while Kai was out of town because Kai didn’t say no genital to butt. He only said no genital to genital and no genital to mouth before he left.] He says he decided to no longer sleep with Sarah because it was toxic and he decided he would rather be ruined than be with Sarah. [I have a theory he stopped sleeping with Sarah because he was afraid of Kai finding out. If he was truly afraid of Sarah ruining his life, why did he make those videos about weed smokers and BPD that would piss her off? She didn’t speak about their relationship publicly until he started bashing her through those videos.] Says Sarah went ahead and ruined his life and you fell for it. - He keeps mentioning Joe Rogan. - He says others have said he built an empire, uploaded thousands of videos. He gave so much of his life entertaining people and making them laugh. It was so important to him. He changed a lot of lives for the better. Says if you look on Twitter before the drama, you’ll see a lot of people thanking him. Says he was a positive influence to millions of people. That’s a fact. It all came crumbling down because people lied. They’re all criminals he kicked out of his life. He tries to play hero and he was only right with Kai. Kai wasn’t playing victim, he was on his way to college to be a surgeon. Once he was in the process of having kids, he lost the taste to be in a surgery room. Instead he got a bachelor’s in psychology. Kai’s diagnosis of James is aspects of narcissism, but says he doesn’t meet the qualifications to be a full blown narcissist. - He is investing a lot of time in people who don’t listen and don’t appreciate his content. Social media is a drug that tries to take up as much of your time as possible to make advertisers money. He doesn't create content that lies to you or brainwashing you into thinking your opinion is valid. He doesn’t pander to you to make money. Says when he says he’s one of the most honest people on Youtube, the bar is low. OnisionSpeaks is snake poison because snakes don’t survive on this channel. They aren’t going to have a voice that isn’t questioned. Most snakes on Youtube don’t even know how to activate charities on their channels. - Says he had a conversation with Kai about someone who said they vote for the economy over people. Humans are divided between helping their neighbor and helping themselves. - Says he was never taken to court because he never did anything. He’s still posting to places that he thinks is beneficial to himself and his family. Why would he stop because people have a bad idea of him? You shouldn’t alter your life just because people have an opinion of you. If you quit it makes you look guilty. If you quit you’re either guilty or incapable of dealing with it. He says he’s used to dealing with abuse since he began social media. - He wants to create content and help people and make them laugh. He wants to be socially capable and experienced. His ambitions are aligned with what he’s doing. - He says he can’t forgive his father if what people say about him is true. Everyone else he can forgive. If you are at odds with him, he doesn’t have any hate for you. He understands people can hear the wrong narrative and make mistakes. Says we are both imperfect people and have gone through different things. Says if we went through the same experiences, we’d think the same. Says we aren’t so different.  - Says he’s going away and he hopes you watch all his videos so you’ll know a little bit about who he is instead of listening to what Youtube manipulates you into watching. Says his advise is to quit social media. He wouldn’t quit because he’s passionate about it.

[cdt12345]

I was talking to @luckyshazmrsmonaghansblog about Shameless 10x07 after we watched it, like I always do and she told me I should post my review. And since I love her so much, I usually do whatever she tells me to do. Lol!

I really liked Carl's story line. He has such a big heart, and that makes me love him so much! He, out of all the Gallagher's, reminds me the most of Ian. He has Ian's big heart and I really love that!

gif source: @carlgallaghers​

Lip and Tami's story lines have been so fucking boring, but this week has to be a new low for them! But since I don't care about them, it's not upsetting. I'm just baffled that the writers think this is interesting stuff. Also, that they think this deserves longer scenes over Ian and Mickey's scenes.

Now onto sandy. I see why the people with spoilers were saying she was gross. I totally get it and now she can leave. I hate that they're going to have her involved with Debbie. That is, if it's true. I don't even want to think about her being involved in the wedding! Ugh! 

Also, are people gonna get pissed off at her, like they did Ian, for her talking about incest. The only difference here was she wasn't joking like Ian was. But I'm sure people won't give her as much shit as they did Ian.

“It’s not like we’re related.” They have the same last name! Terry is her uncle and his father! Does she not know how relatives work? I know it’s too soon to judge her with less than five minutes on screen. God knows Mickey didn't make the best first impression either. I don’t know any of her background, but knowing what the Milkovich life is like, I’m sure she hasn’t had it easy. So, I’ll still try and keep an open mind, but I can’t see myself loving her.

This show doesn’t need more characters to waste valuable Gallavich screen time, because we all know the producers will choose anyone else’s scenes over Ian and Mickey, every fucking time.

If it is true about her and Debbie, why do they have to keep doing this? Do all the Milkovich's have to date a Gallagher to be involved in the story line? They're going to be legally related to each other. They don't need excuses to involve the Milkovich's and Gallagher's anymore. They're going to be family. I know they're not blood related, but I find it weird for family members to date from the same family. I found it weird with Lip and Mandy. 

That happened in my own family. Without getting too much into it, my uncle married his sister-in-law and my mom and I always found it weird. I know it's not blood relatives, but legally they're already related and we always found that strange.

It's like that here. The only Milkovich and Gallagher that belong together are Ian and Mickey. They need to stop! They don't need to use that as an excuse to involve the Milkovich's in the story lines anymore. Old habits die hard for these writers, I guess.

Screen time was better than last week, that's for sure. Still don't think it warranted a huge Gallavich campaign, considering how much they made it out to seem like this would be their season. But it was definitely better than last week.

Domestic Ian and Mickey was all I ever wanted! We may have gotten a minute of it, but it's better than nothing and I was so happy. I freaking loved it! Did you see how happy Mickey looked?! Being all lovey dovey, blatantly checking Ian out and being domestic in front of other people, without fear or shame. I'm so happy for Mickey! And Ian, bc this was all he ever wanted with Mickey as well.

THE LUNCH DATE!!!! Mickey got Ian his food and everything! How did they plan this lunch date?! Did they plan before he went to work? Did Mickey call Ian? Text him?! Did he know what to get Ian already? Was it Mickey’s idea? Was it Ian’s idea? I was brought to tears and that kind of made me mad. I shouldn't be crying over very mundane, normal shit that most couples experience, because we never get this for them. It took 10 seasons to get to this point and it shouldn't have taken that long.

gif source: @gallaghersdaily

But seeing them do normal couple domestic stuff was a beautiful thing and all I ever wanted for them! Of course until the bitch P.O. showed up. I knew she would want to get Mickey involved in her shit. (She was on SNL last night too and I was so conflicted about it. LOL!)

Even though the situation wasn't great, I was super thrilled to see Mickey riding shot gun in the ambulance with Ian. I know that's not the focus of this scene, but I always wanted to see that and I never thought I would. 

gif source: @gallaghersdaily

When Ian became an EMT while Mickey was gone, I thought he'd never get to see Ian work and I always wanted him too. I knew he'd be so proud of Ian and would love seeing him work. The circumstances weren't great but, a wish of mine came true. 

If I'm being honest, a lot of moments did in this episode and apparently the next. Ian and Mickey walking outside with their arms wrapped around each other and laughing. OMG!!!!

gif source: @seeallmydreams

I knew when I saw Noel run from the cop in the BTS video, this was how it was gonna be. The cop shows up and his first instinct is to run. Mickey's probably like, Ian you idiot why aren't you running and Ian is like, Mickey you idiot why are you running? I love them so much!

gif source: @seeallmydreams

To think that was the final scene they filmed for the season. I pray it won't be the last. I need married Gallavich next season! A full season of them married! I MUST HAVE IT!!! 

I feel like they may renew it. I think Shameless has been around so long, that Showtime runners would want to give them a farewell season. They've been doing that with their other shows, that haven't even been on as long as Shameless.

[smartguyreviewed]

1x2 - Brother, Brother

Original air date: April 9, 1997

The “switcheroo” plot is one of the many television tropes that grinds my gears because it is so tired. Nothing annoys me more than a character (usually male) with shitty communication skills who would rather pretend to be two people than simply reschedule. Or a character so indecisive that they can’t even pick a life. 

Anyways, this is the show’s crossover episode. Tahj guest starred in Sister, Sister. Now his twin sisters are doing the same, but in their younger brother’s show! The twins are there to give Marcus something to lust over while TJ’s brain is being appreciated.

Marcus is in the principal’s office trying to switch classes because his teacher is boring although he’s halfway through the semester. Suddenly, Tia Mowry walks in, excited to be joining the class he’s trying to leave. Marcus shoots his shot and succeeds, then starts doing his “happy dance.” Meanwhile, TJ’s brain is being picked apart by Principal Dowling, who needs help understanding how to hook up the school’s internet. Clearly, they have no IT department, or even one or two guys working freelance. But then again, they also don’t have AP classes, so i guess I shoudn’t be shocked.

After Marcus scores the digits, we cut to Floyd at home being greeted by two white men in suits with briefcases. He assumes TJ is in trouble when they ask for him and when one of the cops guys asks why he thinks that, Floyd brilliantly replies, “Two white guys show up at my door in FBI suits, what am I supposed to think?” Loved that line. This show was so unapologetically black.

Luckily, no Fred Hampton situation happens here. They just wanna talk to TJ! However, instead of greeting this obviously gifted black kid the way they would greet a gifted white kid, they resort to the painfully cringeworthy attempt to relate to him by trying to seem “hip” with their watered down Ebonics. “You got a phat crib here, mah man!” TJ’s expression sums it up perfectly.

Floyd walks away from secondhand embarassment. 

TJ, a ten year old black kid from Washington, D.C. is schooling these grown men about internet mumbo jumbo when Kenya Moore shows up. No, seriously.

Floyd begins acting like his son, letting the whole world know that this woman is making all the blood rush to his penis. But Kenya is not there to be their stepmom. She’s there to persuade TJ to work for their company and bribes him with a bigger hard drive so that he can play a computer game. Floyd already knows where this is going.

TJ runs into both sisters the next day at school, meeting the brainier sister in a 70s getup. See, she’s smart because she dresses anachronistically, reads Tolstoy for leisure and wears glasses. Marcus and Mo, now besties, approach the other twin and proceed to make her uncomfortable. Okay, Mo mostly does that, but she accepts it from Marcus because she likes him. Marcus even shoos Mo away from shooting his shot by telling him that someone was leaning on his Pinto. Mo is not letting anyone fuck up his $300 death trap. He takes off. 

Marcus sets a date with Tamera and becomes conflicted because he wants both of them. To do this, he tells Tamera that he is a twin. Thusly, Marcus begat Marquise, who is Marcus if he wore a lace front goatee and a beret. Blah blah, Marcus is manipulating women by pretending to be “deep” and TJ is under the table playing Cyrano, blah. This is honestly one of the few episodes of Smart Guy that I don’t like to rewatch.

After successfully playing the twins, one of them comes back because they desperately want the D. The other one joins because she too, wants the D and they start fighting, recalling childhood infractions. I think this is how Tia and Tamera actually argue. When Marcus reveals that Marquise doesn’t exist, the girls make up because regular degular Marcus is not what they wanted. He’s actually upset by this. Who knew that pretending to be someone you’re not to date two different people could have negative consequences?

Mr. Henderson and Principal Dowling force TJ to choose a company after he continues to accept more bribes. He mentions the other company just gave him a keychain that turns out to be keys to a Jag. Floyd then throws out all of the wisdom he was trying to teach TJ, tells him to accept the company’s offer and high-fives the principal. I love that even Floyd can’t turn down free shit. 

Stuff I noticed:

- Marcus was hinting at a threesome.

- Marcus’s lace front goatee, brought to you by Tyler Perry Studios.

[novarose24]

Writings from Offline {Ep.2}

Raavanan

Director: Mani Rathnam

(Warning: spoiler alert)

Raavanan was an effort by the director to show the perspective from Raavanan in a modern sense. The title pretty evidently conveys that by the end, we would understand Raavanan’s perspective of the happenings in the Ramayana.

The movie, without any elaborate revealing, shows the widely perceived antagonist in the very first scene. One of the prime setting of the movie, water and river is also revealed in this scene. From here, we meet “Sita” who is then abducted by “Raavanan”.  We also meet the eagle for the first time, in this sequence. Being a symbol for Vishnu, it is of significant importance and visits again in later parts.

The title scene follows which has red, fire and shades of brown dominating the background. The song says “Veera” which literally means a brave warrior, giving an aura of justice and righteousness to the character.

The scene that follows is the one where our “Ram” is intimated about his wife’s kidnapping. The coolers hide his eyes, but it was pretty evident that he was more upset and angrier than worried. His face showed an expression of determination to kill his enemy.

The characters in the story embody the traits of the characters in the Ramayana, but are conveniently modified to suit the needs of the story. “Raavanan” is manifested as “Veera”, a dacoit who is a savior to the people but a villain in the eyes of law - in some sense, a robin-hood. The people who inform the police of their encounter with Veera have ten different accounts to give of him, almost like he had ten different faces. The repetition of the reference to ten faces is a common occurrence in the progression of the film. Ten different voices too torment him. There is no transition of character in the film except that he falls in love with the woman that he had kidnapped. His ideals and values remain the same. The change occurs in the perception of the audience.

The audience observe this change through the eyes of “Sita”, here “Raagini”. Since the emphasis is only on Raavanan in this story, Sita only functions as a tool for us to observe this change; she doesn’t express her story despite being given almost an equal amount of screen time. In the scenes following her abduction and in the scenes at the end, she does express her opinions and her desires; otherwise she follows the conventional-ideal-wife trope. She has an undying love for her “Ram”, portrayed as “Dev”, who’s name literally means god. The naming might be an intentional action to draw attention to the juxtaposition of his name and his actions. He is a police officer, we are initially of the feeling that he is a good cop who is honest and righteous, but eventually we see that his determination to catch Veera turns into a bit of an obsession. He lies to his wife and hurts her in order to get to Veera. Rescuing his wife is not his main motive; much like Veera he uses Raagini as a bait to reach his target. There is no difference between the two men in this spectrum. Dev plays an important role but has approximately the same screen time as “Singaraasu” who could possibly be a representation of “Kumbakarnan”. Veera’s other brother is the most decent and “civilized” among them, like “” and is called “Sakkara”. These two are always on their brother’s side and help him with his work. Their representations don’t exactly fit their counterpart in the epic.

“Hanuman’s” representation as “Gyana Prakasham” suffers the same fate. He is a forest guard with good knowledge about navigation in the forest, but is crippled by his addiction to alcohol. It is confusing that Hanuman’s modern version is a drunkard.

“Lakshman” is also represented in a contradictory context; but he still hurts Veera’s sister,” Venilla” the same way Lakshman hurts Soorpanaka.  Hearing the story of his sister, Veera’s acts of revenge are diluted of their viciousness. We understand that there is a valid reason on his side too. The alternating shots between the flashback and Raagini’s shocked concerned face creates this feeling.

The scene following this tells us how this account from the criminal’s past has influenced Raagini. Raagini walks to the middle of the river where there is a broken statue of Vishnu. She prays for her anger to keep burning because she fears she pities Veera and is falling for him. She stands near the head of the statue but Raavanan stands at the feet of the statue. This simple placement of the characters captures the gap between the two in the social order.

In a successive scene, the exact opposite is conveyed when Dev flips the back-to-back photos of Raagini and Veera. It could stand for how he considers his journey to rescue his wife is equivalent to triumphing over his enemy or his doubt on his wife of being in close proximity with his enemy. His shouting for Veera and the talk about lies-detector support this. The interesting thing about the accusations that he frames on Raagini is that it is set in the tunnels giving us the feeling that we are in the dark regarding the true motives. The colour of their dresses in this scene is pivotal. Both Dev and Raagini where white initially. When Raagini meets Veera, Veera is still clad in black like he usually was in the film. When Dev emerges out of hiding, he is clad in white shirt and brown leather jacket for the first time instead of his usual pale colored clothes.

The majority of the screen is green and when Veera and his folk come in, it is covered in earthly colors of brown and black. All the songs with his folk involve rain, water, mud and great lyrics! The “Kodu potta” song is important in terms of their message to the world. They want their land and the freedom to govern it themselves. Another observation is that Raagini who shelters from the rain at first is seen getting wet in the during the end; not a significant act but it could possibly mean that she is learning to enjoy their ways too. Another example for the developing soft corner in her heat is her clothing. Could be said to be a requirement of the plot, but the fact that she dressed in a red saree that turns brown in the rain is significant in my view.

The music and the songs all act as a measure of civilization. The songs of the tribe are more upbeat with mainly percussion and some kind of horns. The dialect used for the lyrics just like their speech is different. The song of the “civilized” world, “Kalvare”, is more classical and has a more refined version of the language. Also, it is the only vision we have of the two and their life before.

The narration of the story shifts from the actual chronology of events. The story begins with no pretext, with the kidnap of Raagini, then we have a short idea of Raagini and Dev’s happy life, the story continues showing the different sides of Veera and Dev and the dilemma that Raagini faces, there is flashback giving us Veera’s backstory and then the events flow to the climax.

The jumps from scenes and the sequencing were typically good but the editing didn’t quite meet expectations. A lot of unwanted scenes were left unedited.

The other is the references in the film to Ramayana. The story by itself pretty evidently points to the Ramayana. The constant references in dialogues seemed unnecessary personally; if the details were played more subtly, it would have been more interesting to search for the tethering between the two tales. For example, repetitive scenes that emphasis the distance that Veera maintains with Raagini was overplayed that it got a bit boring.

The only time he touches her is prevent her from harm when Dev shoots during the climax. In the consecutive scenes, Raagini and Veera reach out their hands to touch each other but that doesn’t happen. As the audience are waiting with a yearning for the two of them to meet, they are left uncompensated and conflicted with the death of Veera.

[its-chelisey-stuff]

My year in dramaland pt. 4:

Or what it could have been... These are the dramas I dropped

Touch your heart: I will comeback to this one, I just don’t know when, but I want to. They were cute and fluffy, but maybe not what I needed at the time. And I wanted more conflict. Made it to episode 6.

Flower Crew: Joseon Marriage Agency: Yet another project involving a former WannaOne member (I have to confess I listened to some of their songs but wasn’t a fan and now I just keep watching them act LOL). Uhmmm.... Yeah, I watched like 3 episodes and then... decided to come back if I did not find anything better. Which I did. Sorry drama, it was not meant to be.

Be Melodramatic/ Melo is my nature: Okaaaay. This one hurts. The first episode made me feel a lot of things and a lot of people say this reminds them of Age of Youth (I adore both seasons of that drama with a passion!!) but I guess I wasn’t in the mood? I need to find the will and watch it, because it did seem interesting.

Sky Castle: This one was heavy. I picked it up because of those ratings, not gonna lie. I could see the appeal and I got through the first 6 episodes very quickly. However, I dropped it after ep 8 and now, months later, I’m kind of scared watching it will hurt me because Kang Yeseo is Danoh for me now. I know it’s silly, but I just don’t want to see that girl suffer... does that makes sense? Many people hated her character btw, but from the episodes I saw, the one that I hated was Kim Hye Na. I know some spoilers, but I don’t know the main one, which is who is a killer here lol. I don’t know if I’ll watch it. I keep thinking yes and then, no.

Hotel de Luna: So sorry, but I couldn’t do it. I love IU, and have nothing against Yeo Jingoo (I think he is a very good actor, although I haven’t seen him in anything other than The moon that embraces the sun) but I got bored. I tried but gave up on episode 3. I know a lot about the plot, though. There were spoilers everywhere, so maybe that’s why I don’t feel the need to really watch it.

Love affairs in the afternoon: Without much trouble, I managed to get to episode 8, but it was not the only adultery drama I was watching at that same time (Hello, Before we get married!). I guess it just upset me a bit much that two good women stayed with such dudes (seriously, one husband is obsessed with his birds, thinking they’re children). Leave! Life can be so much better.

Earlier this year I broke up with a seemingly perfect guy because I was not longer happy with him or in that relationship (till this day my parents and some of my friends think I’m crazy cause “he was the one”), so you can imagine my frustration with these unhappy and unsatisfied women. Yeah, it got personal for me. LMAO Still, I got too far, practically saw half of the drama, and I do want to know how it ends... so I will end it. Don’t know when, though.

Dramas that I wanted to watch but didn’t make time to do so:

When the camelia blooms: Aired at the same time EY did, and it’s not that I can’t see 2 dramas at the same time (or more), but my Danoh and Haru drained me completely for 8 weeks. I still want to check this one out. Haven’t seen Kang Haneul in a drama since Heirs and Gong Hyojin since It’s okay that’s love.

The Untamed: Yeah, is the only chinese drama on this list. The HYPE is real with this one. I think I first knew about it because of an edit on youtube. Want to, really want to see it, and I have seen the first episode, but I just never seen a drama like this before and a lot confuses me. Will watch, I promise.

Chocolate: It’s in my list on Netflix, so everytime I open it, it’s there, waiting for me, but it’s a melo and scares me hahaha I don’t know why. I’ve seen melos before, I swear! Is just that I fear the feels. lol

Chief of Staff: Also on my list. Don’t know much about it, but I think I want to see it because the plot is not romantic (something weird with me!). I just can’t seem to push the play button.

My strange hero: I wanted to see it when it was airing, but decided to wait. Saw some interesting kissing scenes that got my curiosity peaked, but I keep forgetting to watch it.

Laughter in Waikiki 2: I LOVED the first season and I don’t think there’s any other drama out there that could make you laugh as hard as I did with this one. Believe me, I cried. I have no doubt the second season is just as fun, but despite having my favorite character from the first season, I just can’t seem to move on onto a new story for Joon ki-ah. Like c’mon! I though chewbaca was the one! And what about the rest of his friends? 

Still, I had the exact same problem with Age of Youth 2, I gave it a chance and loved it completely. I should give this a try, I know.

Catch the ghost: Are there any actual ghosts in here? Asking for a friend. Okay, I know nothing about this one except that they were cops? but hey, I saw some bits and it seemed like fun. I want to see it, believe me.

Designated Survivor: 60 days :Yeah, who knows what will happen. Even dropped the american tv show...

Suits: This has been on my to watch list for too long... Did not dropped the american one... at least not forever! I love Park Hyunsik and Jang Dong Gun so, I must try for those two and some bromance.

So yeah, that concludes my year in dramaland. By the way, over christmas, like two days ago haha, my sister and I finally gave in to the charms of Hyun Bin and started watching Crash landing on you, So far, so good. But I will count that as a 2020 drama.

It feels like I had more dramas unwatched than watched, but I’m pretty happy with my choices. Korean dramas are not the only thing I watch, and come to think of it, I actually watched a lot of shows this year.

Oh, 2020, I wonder what you have in store for this drama fangirl. Bring it!

[whetstonefires]

I have wandered into your tumblr and I want to know absolutely everything about your ideas for Earth 3 Impetus and Motion. EVERYTHING. Possibly the least relevant part of that is the family line, as Earth 3 often has really skewed versions of the characters. Would the first Johnny Quick even have a speedster grandson when he was killed and his blood used to power his successors?

Oh, cool ask! Thank you!

😄 I’m very happy to talk about this but I’m afraid you may be disappointed, because I’m Doing It Wrong. I’ve been working off and on on a bespoke Earth-3 for the past…several years. Production has slowed but not stopped. It’s up to over 300,000 words on AO3 at this point.

The issue that set me off was that tendency to skew; I didn’t like it. I found that, most of the times DC had built into Earth-3 before rebooting again, there were two countervailing currents leading writing decisions. On the one hand to make things As Wrong As Possible compared to the main timeline, and on the other to just make them…arbitrarily different.

Lois Lane is Superwoman, evil counterpart of Wonder Woman, for some reason, woop-de-do; this fits under both categories.

This process worked neither according to the ‘timeline that diverged into a Bad Timeline at some point in the distant past but somehow contains versions of the same people in the same place’ premise of the original Star Trek ‘Mirror, Mirror’ episode, nor does it work according to any direct cosmic principle of inversion, although some of the early versions claimed to.

(See: Mirror Christopher Columbus discovered Europe and then later Evil George Washington conquered England for the American Empire, what even guys. 😩)

Also Earth-3 so transparently existed almost every time it was reinvented as a place to get villains from, and to look bad in comparison to the main timeline, without any attention to making it work internally, which I thought was a damn waste of a cool concept. ‘A damn waste of a cool concept’ drives a lot of fanwork lol.

So for my world, I had the slightly conflicting goals of working as close to that amorphous thing ‘canon’ as possible, and of making the setting stand on its own, as a superhero setting, with internal causality and more or less the usual sort of hero-versus-villain logic. So I inverted the alignments of only superheroes and supervillains, and kept as much as possible of their backstories intact.

This means my stuff doesn’t map onto any canon Earth-3, especially not the one from Forever Evil because that came out after I’d already gotten all the big things pinned down. 😅 Some people get upset about this and come yell at me about how i.e. Owlman is Thomas Wayne Junior. But since I always saw that particular concept as a huge cop-out from looking at how few alterations it takes to turn Bruce Wayne into a spectacular villain, I was like ‘nuts to that’ from the start.

If you’re cool with my relationship with canon, on we go.

-&-

So, Impetus and Motion! I don’t remember what I said on that one post where I remember blathering about it, so forgive me if I repeat myself. ^^

Lineage is the same as canon, technically. I’ll go over it; if you don’t care just skip ahead to the next subsection. 😄

Mirror Barry Allen, the Dash, got his villain name for his signature kill technique of grabbing someone, hyperaccelerating them, and then letting go at the right moment that they get dashed against something immovable and go splat. He dashes people against things.

(His eventual sidekick, Blaze, got his for liking to make things combust by accelerating their molecules. The combination makes them sound like a pair of racehorses, which they did not intend and are very annoyed by when it’s pointed out.)

The Dash is pretty scary, especially because most of the ways he abuses his speed for profit are so low-key nobody even notices (i.e. screwing with the stock market) and he doesn’t need to be a supervillain. He just likes it.

His public villain profile is relatively low for the level of danger he poses, tho, because his town is infested with really dumb superheroes who beat him embarrassingly often, when he actually turns up to fight or is successfully ambushed. And with the occasional exception the scale of his crimes is fairly small compared to i.e. Ultraman.

Keeping him imprisoned is ridiculously difficult, tho. He can’t be completely depowered (because the Speed Force is external to him and all the power dampeners that are used assume they’re trying to shut off something generated internally) and he’s really smart, so it took years of battles to keep him long enough to transfer into a proper cell even, and longer to get an unblurred look at his face.

His secret identity survived so long that Barry Allen was there to comfort Iris West after she was targeted by the Dash on several occasions, and they were married by the time he got ultimately unmasked.

She left him after that and moved back to the future, which she was still from because that’s hilarious, but he eventually tracked her down and promised to reform if she’d take him back. This obviously fell apart eventually, but not until after the twins were born.

I haven’t mapped out the mirror Thawne line. I assume the Thawnes with healing powers who inadvertently adopted Barry’s twin were much nicer in this timeline but idk if he ever became Cobalt Blue or what. I hope he lived to old age. Apparently there have been multiple Cobalts Blue? Idk idc, Flash continuity what even are you.

Everyone thought Eobard Thawne was nuts, but he actually did go back in time and stop the Dash from destroying the world with nukes in a fit of rage, his historical analysis, method of giving himself speed powers, and time machine were all successful. He may additionally suffer from some degree of psychosis, but he wasn’t wrong. (His little brother still exists in this universe because good!Eobard wasn’t the type to manipulate time to erase inconvenient family members. He also doesn’t have the title Professor because he never got tenure, so he just goes by Zoom.)

-&-

Bart is still Don and Meloni’s kid. Frankly I don’t understand those two in the normal timeline, so it’s hard to construct their mirror versions in any depth or even decide whether they should get mirrored. (Probably not tbh.) But I don’t exactly need to, because the resulting Bart is very much the same and thus doesn’t really know them. He was still born with his weird speed glitch that caused him to be raised in a simulation, and eventually time-traveled to un-glitch him.

The difference is that he’s not a nice kid. He’s a two year old who looks twelve and has received all his socialization from reasonably good AI in a world that was not real. Where nothing had consequences. Where nobody was real.

He’s very frightening, is Impetus. Impetuous, wildly powerful, selfish–oddly sweet, occasionally, in the ‘gay and innocent and heartless’ way of Peter Pan, but probably even more likely than Peter to knife someone. He’s so delighted the first time he eats actual ice cream, as opposed to a simulated version, but the ice cream stand is now on fire.

Mirror Bart isn’t so much cruel or even un-empathetic as solipsistic. He’s arrested in the state of an intellectually advanced toddler playing, what’s that game called, the one where the objective seems to be getting in car chases a lot? When was the last time they made a new one, I feel like I haven’t heard it mentioned in ages, it’s a dead franchise isn’t it I’m old. Grand Theft Auto! That’s it. He doesn’t just not understand that danger is real, the way Impulse started out. People aren’t.

Impetus is easily bored and surrounded by NPCs. It gets ugly, sometimes.

He also time-travels a lot more frequently than normal Bart, because he doesn’t really get attached so he doesn’t try to maintain a normal life of any kind, so he pops up all over the timestream.

Jason Blood hated him personally long before Bart had any idea who he was; they have a villain rivalry plagued by causality issues and closed time loops that is alternately epic and stupid as fuck.

And then there’s Thad. Thad’s had a less awful time than he did in canon, I think–President Thawne is not technically a supervillain so he’s probably about the same as in the original timeline, but even assuming Meloni and Don are still out of the picture (probably it’s Barry’s fault in this dimension?) raising a kid as a ‘defense mechanism against a supervillain’ calls for less extreme brainwashing fuckery than raising one to hunt down a superhero.

So he probably behaved a bit more like a reasonable grandparent, simply because the context incentivized him to emphasize concepts like duty and loyalty more, and hatred less. He might even have been able to go public with Thad’s existence, depending on the spin he came up with. Among other factors.

But it was still a depressing, isolated, dehumanizing way to grow up, and it went on a long time, because as per canon Thad has the opposite problem from Bart in terms of how he passes through time. Motion is a 40-year-old man with a 12 year old’s body and approximate life experience.

Thad was already So Tired when he finally got out into the world on his own, and once he encountered Impetus he learned pretty quickly to both pity and fear him.

Even when Thad tries to avoid Bart and just have a life, Bart always crashes back into his existence again, and in the meantime he feels guilty. Because even if he could completely shake off having been raised to see countering Impetus as his whole reason for existence, he’d still feel a lot of personal responsibility to try, because he has the ability to stand up to him in a way almost no one else does, and he knows Bart’s out there resulting in casualties.

Due to all the time travel involved, even having just defeated Impetus doesn’t mean he’s not still out there at an accessible point in the timestream, needing to be stopped.

Impetus results in Motion the way Inertia resists Impulse. They’re very much locked into an action-and-reaction framework that does not even a little bit help with Thad’s clone identity issues.

Except for how the amount of time Thad spends saving people from Bart has slowly created a fairly large body of people over the course of history who know them as distinct entities, and like Thad a lot better. 

Good feels good. ^^ It’s not necessarily the case that this happens, obviously, but with their alignment swap they also ultimately exchanged who’s defined by isolation. It takes Bart a long, long time to even understand that he’s lonely.

[doctorguilty]

ok you’ve all been waiting for it my thoughts on the sonic movie!!!

under cut cause long

so overall! I really liked the movie! I think it sorta landed pretty in the ballpark of what I sorta expected quality-of-plot wise and how much I’d be entertained by it. which is satisfying!!! I’m going to like, stream of thought this, starting with some criticisms which are gonna be kinda hefty cause im critiquing something I care about 

so right away I really disliked the “record scratch so this is me I bet you’re wondering how I got in this situation” opening like I’m not sure if it was intentionally a self aware joke on that being cliche and dumb but it does like, really frustrate me cause my philosophy for most stories is Start your story where it begins!! which made the backstory infodump more frustrating on top of that, like, I think that’s an easy mistake to make to want to spill your Backstory right away but it’s not necessary! the audience doesn’t NEED to know immediately what sonic was like in his homeworld and his tragic separation from it. we already have the audiences suspension of disbelief in play because they know they’re watching.. a movie about sonic the hedgehog in the real world. I think the backstory stuff would have been much more impactful as a flashback later on, especially when sonic’s whole arc is how lonely and isolated he is. it would be a better punch in the heart to later on be like so by the way as a child his guardian probably died and sent him to earth for his own safety. so that was like AUGH you blew it 

next up that i think was unnecessary like, completely, was establishing that sonic already knew the main cop guy and his wife (omg I already forgot their names..because they were not memorable but we’ll get to that fjdsg) and like, secretly immersed himself into their life that’s ?? odd to me? I think it would have been fine to just have sonic be like attached to the whole small town and he thinks the cop is cool and calls him donut lord, and that’s the extent of it like cause the problem is later down the plot when sonic finds out cop guy is leaving green hills and flips out about it.. I’m like, not sure if I believe sonic, immersing himself in their life, had NOT known that was a thing cop guy wanted to do like he NEVER heard about that??? but that’s like whatever 

I don’t really like the cop guy as the protag human like. oof he was very bland and I’m trying to figure out how to put this into words............ I feel like a character like him isn’t someone the audience can really connect to. this guy has a virtually perfect life with a house and a dog and a job and a wife, his Conflict is that he wants to move to california and see more action and save people, but the WEIRDEST thing about it is that the prospect of leaving his little town behind isn’t really shaking him up at all. it shakes SONIC up later, but up until that point.... the cop just has legit a perfect life and it’s kinda sad because sonic appearing in it physically becomes something that immediately has the effect of “starting to ruin it” and thats why the cop is so like, mean about things at first. 

see I don’t really like that it doesn’t make a lot of sense to me. if I were to rewrite this keeping the general ideas in mind, I would have opted for a ... paul blart crossed with judy hopps. a guy who’s life isn’t all in order, maybe not living in trash but he doesn’t have a wife, he DREAMS of being a cop and saving people, but he doesn’t quite have what it takes physically/mentally or maybe he’s too afraid to even try. he loves his rural town but thinks like, maybe if I move to the big city I’ll find myself maybe he’s offered a job there for something boring and is like resigning to a boring life idk there’s a lot you can do but you get the idea! a lonely underdog with big dreams. so when Sonic comes into his life, its WAY more impactful to paul hopps.....judy blart...... that Sonic pleads for help saving his life and this sudden adventure isn’t ruining his life either. 

then LATER when we get to sonic being upset that paul hopps wants to leave, it’s less this awkward confrontation “how dare you wanna live your already in motion dreams somewhere ELSE  because people love you HERE” (like .. oof bad take tbh) it would be a much nicer “why do you want to leave your home to become a hero when everyone here already sees you as one” and instead of the shabby like “well I guess I’ll stay because i crossed off saving someone from my bucket list” paul hopps would feel fulfilled he saved sonic and I actually you know what? I’d change up the whole scene with the turtle to be at the end where paul hopps becomes a cop in green hills and he like, saves a turtle crossing the road and is like! that’s what its all about being a hero! like thats cute and resonates with an audience, the message like, being a hero just means being kind and doing the right thing, which is way more suitable for a sonic movie when the sonic series has always been a campy power of friendship thing. 

in a similar vein, the cop being a lonely underdog would give him a better connection with sonic, so that even if he was annoyed by him at first he’d later have the understanding they’re one in the same, you know? connections people!! themes!!!! 

anyway but enough of that au 

so the last thing I’m like iffy about is how robotnik was handled. like jim carry is funny and stuff but it felt like a bit of a mess like, this character is repeatedly reminding us what a hard ass I’M SUPERIOR THAN YOU MY IQ IS HUGE but then being super mega goofy, like I’m all for eccentric scientists but it felt kind of disconnected? and idk like not to be that guy but man.. i remember when sonic 06 came out and everyone hated how eggman was slimmed down to what he looked like in that game jfkdfsgksdj like my brain really doesn’t find a fully slender bodied eggman palatable like......... let my mans be fat ... WHICH tbh I’m a little nervous because at the end of the movie we see this implication that robotnik is turning more visually into the eggman we know with the stache and bald head but I’m worried they’re gonna also go with “and he also gets fat” cause I don’t like that sort of thing, you know? 

i think that’s all for my major criticisms!! but otherwise like! the movie was genuinely really fun and goofy and it felt very in spirit with the sonic franchise! 

if you read bogleech’s post I agree with him whole heartedly that this is the best characterization of sonic. it feels almost like?????? the characterization he was MEANT To have but he always ended  up going TOO MUCH in the direction of confident and cocky and being too cool and successful about it? I love sonic with that hyper teenager-like personality, it’s incredibly charming and cute, like I never Hated sonic as a character but he was defs like... lower on my list of characters in the franchise I found interesting. I felt like I could connect with movie sonic a lot and like! i’d want to be his friend, you know? I really really want to see more of him like that! 

I also agree big time that the movie had the best use of bullet time I’ve ever seen! I’m like omg?? WHY hasnt that ever been a mechanic in a game? 

and overall just like the cuteness like............I literally almost cried when the little girl gave sonic her shoes like AAAAAAAAAAAAA WEEPS............ and the end with sonic getting his own room thats so super cute too!!!! 

oh and the post credits scene with tails was SO FUCKING HYPE like, people in the theater audibly gasped and started being like  YESSSSSSS tails looks really great! 

so like YEAH dabs ,, being a story snob aside it was a fun and cute movie and I’m glad to hear it trumped detective pikachu for a video game movie  I’m glad it’s brought some attention to the sonic franchise! like while it’s cool in some aspects that Nerd Culture is mainstream now, it’s absolutely exhausting the HUGE focus on that is marvel and DC and all that stuff........ like theres nothing wrong w/ liking that but its like.. hm.... idk how to explain it but................. as someone who was bullied a lot in school for liking things like sonic.. like I guess stuff like that people usually see as lame stuff for babies??? superheroes are more like, macho and palatable to adults?? it’s been a good experience for all my normie coworkers to ask what I did for valentines day and I tell them “I saw the sonic the hedgehog movie” and I BRACE myself reflexively to be laughed at but not a single person did they were just like oh cool! how was it? like it really makes me appreciate I got to at least grow up and feel a little more accepted! 

so THATS my thoughts feel free to comment and discuss! 

[ahgaseda]

safe word || chapter 03

⇥ synopsis : as an investigative journalist, you are no stranger to danger, but you may have bitten off more than you can chew when you become caught between Yugyeom, an undercover cop, and Jinyoung, a ruthless gangster...

⇥ warnings : this story in its entirety includes but is not limited to strong language and dialogue, descriptions of blood and violence, alcohol or drug use, and explicit sexual content, and is intended for an adult audience only!

The dresser knocked rhythmically against the wall and you gripped the edges a little tighter. Judging by the erratic panting on your neck, Jinyoung was getting closer. He propped his hands on the surface alongside your hips, drilling into you at a jarring and restless pace.

Reaching up to slide your fingers into his hair, you brushed your lips over his ear and whispered, “Come on, baby.”

Jinyoung growled before clamping his teeth on the bridge of your shoulder, stifling his groans. You locked your ankles behind his back and whimpered as he rutted into you harder and harder.

Typically you spent all of your energy trying to satisfy him, knowing he would give you valuable information in return. However, after the events of the morning, he needed to vent out some frustration.

Which left you clinging to him while closing your eyes and trying not to imagine Yugyeom instead. Biting harshly into your lip, you choked back a moan at the memory of Yugyeom kissing across your breasts as he slipped his cock between your folds.

Jinyoung grunted shakily against your neck, coming to an sudden stop and finally finding his release. You tightened your legs around him, listening to your partner hiss as he coaxed his length shallowly in your cunt to milk the last of his pleasure.

“Good girl,” Jinyoung ultimately growled, pulling back to kiss the corner of your parted mouth. The gesture reminded you of the way he would pat his dogs on the head when they had heeded his command.

You let your hands roam down his chest and abs as he untangled your legs from round his hips and parted from your warmth to discard the filled condom. Meanwhile, you focused on catching your breath and ignoring the dull, unfulfilled ache between your thighs.

On most occasions, leaving you sated was one of Jinyoung’s priorities, but not in this case when you had made yourself readily available for him to indulge his own needs and quickly. You were intent on building a one-sided reliance with him. You wanted to be the only woman he called each and every time he needed relief.

“May I ask what has upset you, baby?” you murmured coyly when Jinyoung stepped out of the adjacent bathroom.

Jinyoung let his eyes fall from your face, down your body, and warned, “Keep sitting there with your legs wide open like that and I’ll fuck you again.”

Giggling mischievously to let him know the threat was a welcome one, you finally gathered enough energy to drop to your feet from the dresser. Your skirt was hiked messily up your waist and you attempted to smooth it down.

Jinyoung approached just as you glanced up. Running his thumb over your swollen bottom lip, he spoke almost more so to himself, “You handled yourself well this morning.”

With a shrug, you said, “I like to think so.”

“If I were to make this arrangement... mutually exclusive, how would you feel about that?”

Your eyes widened slightly, lashes fluttering. “You mean, I would be the only girl you fucked?”

“Mm,” he replied with a nod.

Tilting your head, you draped your arms across his shoulders and crooned, “Wouldn’t you get bored with me?”

Jinyoung stared deep into your eyes and for a moment you felt he could see right through you. After a pause, he said quite bluntly, “No, because you are the closest to an intellectual equal I’ve found.”

You asked, though you already knew the answer, “Do the police interrogate the women you bed rather often?”

“Only the ones I fuck more than once. Naturally, some of those whores make me nervous. I would never have to worry about you,” he murmured, his hands heavy on your hips.

Raking your tongue across your teeth, you purred, “Does this make me the official mistress?”

“Yes, it would,” Jinyoung replied, suddenly reaching up and grasping your jaw none too gently.

Needless to say, he had snared your undivided attention.

Jinyoung warned darkly, “You remain loyal to me. I don’t care if you lie, steal, cheat, or kill, but I won’t have any disloyalty. Do we understand each other?”

“I will never betray you, Jinyoung,” you whispered, swallowing loudly.

“Good girl.”

You stole a kiss, one he returned without hesitation.

Jinyoung roamed his hands over your hips to cup your ass, pulling you flush against him. Breaking from your lips abruptly, he said, “Be on your way. I have work to do and if you stay I’ll get through that box of condoms in no time.”

You chuckled, watching him drift to the nightstand to grab his phone.

“Speaking of which, my assistant will schedule an appointment for you to get tested and set up on more reliable birth control,” added your lover, typing swiftly to his assistant, you assumed.

Your brow lifted. “I’m already on the pill, Jinyoung.”

Jinyoung made some comment under his breath about hating rubbers, that the pill was less effective if you didn’t take it responsibly, and under no circumstances was he getting roped into eighteen years of child support payments.

You resisted the urge to smirk, realizing your hooks were digging into him much faster than you anticipated. “Fine by me, Master,” you retorted, saying goodbye.

Stepping out of the bedroom, all of the blood drained from your face when you locked eyes with Yugyeom. For a moment, the two of you stared at one another until he graciously broke the silence.

Yugyeom spoke softly, “I got a text that I’m supposed to drive you home.”

“Okay,” was all you could bring yourself to reply. His voice sounded tender, borderline gentle; a stark contrast to the blunt, crass conversation with Jinyoung.

Yugyeom sidled out of your path, motioning forward for you to pass by him to lead the way, and truth be told, you were relieved to avoid his penchant gaze as you made for the elevators.

But standing next to him, feeling his arm brush yours slightly as you both waited for the elevator was agony. What was it like for him, you often wondered, to know that you were sleeping with his boss. Did he feel disgust or maybe just unadulterated jealousy?

Meanwhile, Yugyeom kept his hands balled into fists deep in his pockets to hide the fact that he was shaking, seething with rage. Jinyoung didn’t deserve to lay a finger on you, much less know how it felt to be between your legs.

He thought about that little catch in your breath when he kissed you and the possibility that Jinyoung was able to hear the same sound made his heart wrench.

Yugyeom cast his attention downward in time to see you shift your weight. You were nervous and selfishly he hoped you felt conflicted. In a perfect world, he could sweep you away and escape to somewhere far where you both could be forgotten. It was a recurring notion, not that Yugyeom would ever admit it.

The metal door whooshed to the side and you stepped in with your escort, standing at the opposite end of the box as far away from him as you could manage.

After descending two floors without incident, the elevator groaned and came to a grinding halt, stalling in place. You and Yugyeom looked at each other, simultaneously questioning if the elevator had stopped and expecting it to kick back into gear swiftly.

When nothing happened, panic began to creep up your spine.

“Are you kidding me?” you snarled, banging the heel of your hand on the console and peering up at the camera, scowling all the while.

“It’s not on,” Yugyeom commented offhandedly.

Glaring, you asked, “And how do you know that?”

He pointed blithely. “The light is off.”

Turning back to the camera, you tilted your head and sure enough, there was no visible evidence the device was working at all.

Leaning back in the corner, Yugyeom checked his phone with disinterest and asked, “So, how is your investigation coming?”

Sweat was gathering across the back of your neck. You didn’t do well in confined spaces. Growing agitated, you snapped, “You really don’t want to go there with me right now.”

“You used me to get to your mark,” Yugyeom smarted. “I deserve to know.”

Given the sudden change in his mood, being stuck in a elevator was affecting his adrenaline too. “I didn’t use you to get to him. I already had him,” you told him firmly, planting your feet.

Yugyeom shoved his phone back in his pocket and crossed his ankles, folding his arms. “Then, what? Sex with me was a way to pass the time?”

Turning to look at the camera again, you muttered bitterly, “Sure. Yeah. Whatever.”

“Yeah, whatever,” Yugyeom mocked, then his tone shifted. “I know exactly what it was. These feelings we have for each other, they’re real. We couldn’t keep our hands off of each other and if you weren’t such a manipulative, bloodthirsty brat, I would have already shoved you against that wall and taken you in this elevator.”

Your eyes were wide as you measured him up, to gather whether or not he was true to his word.

Yugyeom relaxed and flashed a smile, teasing, “Just to pass the time, of course.”

“You don’t have the balls for that,” you said, disparaging. “You would never touch what belongs to your boss.”

“You don’t belong to him,” Yugyeom rumbled lowly, taking a step back and unbuttoning his suit coat. “You never will.”

You watched with bated breath as his fingers moved to begin loosening his tie and the simple action made the elevator feel a bit warmer.

“You belong to me,” Yugyeom finished, stepping forward until you were enclosed in his arms with the wall at your back.

The elevator dinged and roared back to life, proceeding to descend to the ground floor as if nothing out of the ordinary had occurred.

You leaned forward, hoping Yugyeom would close the gap and grace your lips with a kiss, but you also pleaded in your mind for him to resist. You couldn’t risk getting caught and you sure as hell couldn’t risk losing yourself in him again.

Yugyeom searched your face and couldn’t stand it anymore. Your entire body was hinged on what he would do next. Sweeping you into his arms and tugging you against his chest, Yugyeom crashed his lips on yours and swallowed your sound of relief.

You gripped the material of his shirt at his lower back and held on tight, matching his hurried kisses with your own impatience. The heady feeling returned, clouding your mind and you lost track of how much time had passed.

With one last tug of his teeth, Yugyeom brushed his lips over your cheek and settled near your ear, breathing you in. “You need to be careful, baby,” he whispered.

You kept your eyes closed, basking in the forbidden moment of being in his arms again.

Yugyeom pulled away a mere second before the door slid open, deftly putting a decent space between your bodies. You studied him carefully and his warning echoed in your mind. Without another word, Yugyeom outstretched his hand forward and you exited the elevator, following him to the car.

chapter 02 ⇤ chapter 03 ⇥ chapter 04

Hey there, beautiful! If you enjoyed this, please leave a like or reblog or follow me! Or maybe buy me a coffee so I can keep writing? Or check out my masterlist here for more stories! Thanks for reading :) - Katya

This work is fictional and for entertainment purposes only, but is licensed and protected under a creative commons attribution-noncommercial-noderivatives 4.0 international license. Any instances of plagiarism will be dealt with accordingly. Do not re-post or translate without my permission.

{ copyright 2018-2020 © ahgaseda // all rights reserved }