#and hes like oh my god am i THAT stupid while hungry

[baejax-the-great]

Playing as Karlach,watching her reach down to pet Scratch and screaming, Wait, Karlach, No! But it's too late and Scratch is already burnt to a crisp

[thoughtfulfiction]

While We’re Young

Author’s note: Anon requested, Hope you all enjoy!

“Wait,” you said, your voice breaking the comfortable silence in the car. You twisted one of your hoodie strings around your finger, tightening your grip on it and staring at Justin as if the realization had just crashed into you. “What if they don’t like me?”

Justin glanced over, his brows furrowing before his expression softened. His hand found its place on your thigh, his thumb tracing a lazy pattern through the fabric of your leggings. You were convinced that his soothing touch could change lives. “They’re going to love you,” he said simply, as though it wasn’t even a question. “My mom’s already planning to interrogate you about your favorite foods so she can cook for you. That’s her love language.”

You wanted to believe him, but your mind was already racing. “I mean, what if they think I’m not good enough for you? Or—oh god—what if I say something stupid and embarrass myself? Bad first impressions are impossible to recover from, and if this doesn't go the way we hope…” You trailed off, feeling the knot in your stomach tighten.

At the next stoplight, Justin leaned over and pressed a soft kiss to your temple. “First of all, you couldn’t embarrass yourself even if you tried. And second, I’ve seen you charm complete strangers. My family doesn’t stand a chance.”

Despite his confidence, your nerves didn’t fully settle. “Thanks, babe,” you murmured, managing a small smile. “But what am I supposed to do with the next thirteen hours? That’s so much time for me to go through worse case scenarios.”

“And to make me listen to your Sad Girl playlist,” Justin switched gears to remind you, his lips twitching into a grin.

“Oh, absolutely.” You laughed, connecting your phone to his car’s Bluetooth, taking a break from your negative self-talk. The opening chords of your favorite melancholic ballad filled the car as you leaned back in your seat.

Justin groaned dramatically but didn’t complain. Instead, he reached over to squeeze your hand, the warmth of his skin a quiet and comforting reassurance that you’d carry with you all the way to Eugene.

The fact that he was bringing you was a big deal already but to know that he’d only really done this a couple times made you feel special. Even if he didn’t really say it, he was falling for you just as much as you were falling for him.

Justin pulled you out of your thoughts when he asked, “are you hungry at all? Because I’m thinking about stopping somewhere. I’m starving.”

“Oh yeah, lunch sounds good. I think I saw a Wingstop sign towards this next exit but I can look it up.”

You opted to sit in the car and eat, giving him a long winded breakdown of what you wanted to do and see in Eugene.

“I want the works. Walk me down memory lane. And definitely take me to Nike. It honestly feels illegal not to go to a Nike store where it all started. I’m sure you’re looking to add to your endless collection anyway.” You note with a laugh. If Nike made suits, he'd definitely be first in line.

He gave you a pointed look. “It was an endless collection until I met and started dating a thief. Do you know how many of my sweatshirts I found in your closet this morning while helping you pack? I was looking for the purple one for weeks.”

You laughed so hard you nearly choked on your fries, swapping spots with him after lunch so he could take a break from driving. “Well I’m sorry! It’s not my fault your clothes are so big and they smell like you. Anytime you’re gone I just throw one on and it’s like you’re always with me.”

“Nice save…Catwoman.”

You scoff. “I prefer Robin Hood, actually. Take from the rich and give to the poor. You’re rich, so I take from you and...give to me. The poor.”

“That would work better if I didn’t get most of that stuff for free, but that is a pretty solid comparison.”

After about 8 hours of you being on aux, you decided to cut him so slack and let him take over on music as you continued to drive, mouthing the lyrics of the latest song that was playing from his phone, quickly getting lost in the rhythm.

He glanced over at you, chuckling softly, nodding his head along to the beat. “I didn’t know you were an 80s rock fan.”

“I didn’t either but you played this a few weeks ago while we were making dinner and I’ve been listening to it ever since. Hate to admit it but this is kind of a banger." You smirked, tilting your head toward him. "You know���I won’t tell anyone if you sing.”

Justin immediately starts shaking his head. “No shot. You’re not doing this to me.”

You turned up the music, singing loudly and deliberately off-key as he sighed deeply, his head dropping back against the headrest. But to your surprise, he joined in during the chorus. Both of you were screaming the lyrics to “Pour Some Sugar on Me” by Def Leppard, the car practically vibrating with your energy.

“What happens on the road trip stays on the road trip,” he said, holding out his pinky.

“Deal,” you laughed, locking your pinky with his before refocusing on the road.

A few hours later, Justin motioned for you to take the next exit. “Let’s hop out right here. I want to show you something,” he said cryptically.

The stop turned out to be a scenic lookout, the perfect place to watch the sunset with Mt. Shasta looming majestically in the distance. Justin laced his fingers with yours as the two of you walked toward the edge, stretching your legs after hours in the car.

“This is the most beautiful view I’ve ever seen,” you whispered, mesmerized by the golden and pink hues painting the sky.

Justin turned to you with a warm smile, his eyes full of something that made your stomach flutter. “Yeah… me too.”

You smacked his arm, keeping your gaze on the horizon. “Justin, focus. You’re not even looking at the scenery right now.”

“Sorry, I just got really distracted by the view in front of me. It’s kind of become my favorite.” He stepped behind you, wrapping his arms around your waist and resting his chin on the top of your head. His beard—something that came and went whenever he felt like it—tickled your temple, making you smile.

Turning around in his arms, you finally look up at him, the sight still stealing your breath even after all this time. His green eyes were softer in the glow of the setting sun, flickering between your eyes and lips as if he couldn’t decide where to focus.

“You’re my favorite view too,” you murmured, voice barely above a whisper. “Wouldn’t mind waking up to you for a while...the rest of my life even.”

The words hung in the air, fragile yet heavy with meaning. His brows lifted slightly, and for a moment, you worried you’d said too much. You hadn't even meant to say that last part out loud and you almost backtracked. But then, his lips curled into a small, hesitant smile, like he was processing the weight of your words.

“Really?” he asked, his voice low and steady. His hand came up to cradle your face, his thumb brushing gently against your cheek. “You—you see us doing this? Getting married, spending our lives together?”

The vulnerability in his tone made your heart ache in the best way. “Yeah, I do. Which is funny because I’ve never actually been with someone that I see a real future with.”

Justin didn’t respond immediately, but his actions spoke louder than any words ever could. His hands slid to frame your face fully, his thumbs brushing over your cheekbones as if memorizing every detail. He leaned in slowly, giving you time to pull away if you wanted to��but you didn’t.

When his lips finally met yours, it was soft and deliberate, like he was pouring everything he felt but couldn’t say into that one kiss. It wasn’t hurried or frantic; it was the kind of kiss that made the world fade away until it was just the two of you.

His hand gently cradled your head, holding you in place as if he was afraid you might slip away. You gripped the front of his hoodie, pulling him closer, your heart racing as the kiss deepened. There was something so raw, so unspoken in the way his lips moved against yours—it wasn’t just passion; it was promise. Everything you saw, this bright beautiful future together? He saw it too.

When you finally broke apart, both of you were breathless, foreheads resting together. He let out a shaky laugh, his hands still cradling your face. “I’ve never actually been with someone that I see a real future with either,” he admitted, his voice hoarse but filled with a quiet certainty. “Until now.”

The kiss lingered for just a moment longer, both of you savoring the connection, the sound of your heartbeat matching the rhythm of your breath. When Justin finally pulled back, there was a brief moment of silence, a quiet understanding between you. He took off his hat and ran a hand through his hair, giving you a small smile before pulling away completely to open the door of the car.

“I think we’ve stalled long enough,” he said, his voice a bit rougher than usual but still carrying that calm confidence you admired. “Let’s get this over with.”

You both shared a laugh, though it felt a bit nervous on your part as the reality of the day hit. You had no idea what to expect, but you knew this was a big moment for Justin—and for you.

Justin took the keys from your hand, giving you one last reassuring squeeze before getting in the driver's seat. You took a deep breath, trying to shake off the jittery nerves you hadn’t even realized you were holding onto.

The final leg of the drive felt like it stretched on forever, even though only a few hours had passed since you were on the mountain. There was something different in the air now. The soft, quiet hum of the road felt more like a countdown to something important.

Every few minutes, Justin would glance over at you, a soft smile curling at his lips as if trying to reassure himself just as much as you. His hand eventually found itself encasing yours, his thumb making lazy circles over your skin. He wasn’t saying much, but his presence, calm and unwavering, was more than enough.

When the exit for Eugene finally appeared, you felt your pulse quicken. This was it. This was the moment.

“Here we go,” Justin murmured, his voice somehow more steady than his movements, as he guided the car off the highway and toward the familiar road leading to his childhood home.

The transition felt sudden, but not uncomfortable. It was a quiet moment of realization that everything you’d shared so far had been leading to this point. He was letting you in. You were meeting the people who mattered most to him, the ones who had shaped him into the man he was today.

As you approached the house, you could see the familiar outline of the porch, a few trees swaying in the breeze, and a small garage you guessed held memories of Justin’s childhood. The house was modest, but there was a sense of warmth and familiarity that seemed to radiate from the front door, even from the car.

Justin slowed as he approached, his hand reaching over to squeeze yours one last time before he parked the car. He looked over at you, eyes soft but serious, like he was searching for your reassurance.

“You ready?” he asked quietly, his voice laced with both excitement and nerves.

You nodded, squeezing his hand back. “Yeah. Ready.”

And with that, the two of you got out of the car and walked toward the front door of his family’s home, the journey that had brought you here feeling like both an ending and a beginning.

The door swung open before you even knocked, and there stood his mom, her arms outstretched.

She was gorgeous, her dark hair a stark contrast to Justin's much lighter features. But she wasn't interested in him at all, making a beeline for you straight away. “Oh, you’re even more beautiful than he said! I’m Holly—come in, come in!"

You barely had time to process her words before you were enveloped in a warm hug, her energy immediately putting you at ease. Over her shoulder, you spot Justin’s dad, Mark, standing on the porch with a reserved smile, and Justin’s brothers are leaning against the doorway, smirking. Justin laughed softly behind you, side stepping you and his mom. "Alright, let her breathe please? It'd be helpful if she made it through this entire night without suffocating," he jokes as his mom pulls away, rolling her eyes as she gives him a hug.

A younger guy who looks almost exactly like a mustached version of your boyfriend greets you next. "Hi, I'm Patrick. Glad Mitch wasn't lying and you are a real person, but pro tip? You're way out of this dork's league," he says with a serious face, nodding his head towards his older brother.

Justin glares at him and doesn't respond, muttering something under his breath that only Patrick catches as he bursts into a fit of laughter. You give Mitch a hug—the familiar face of Justin's older brother a welcome sight. He was a first-year orthopedic surgery resident at UCLA, the perfect situation for him and Justin to live together again. You'd been able to meet him on several occasions which proved useful in easing your nerves about meeting everyone else. “How was the drive? Are you guys staying at the ranch tonight?”

“We are,” you replied with a smile. “I’m really excited to finally see this infamous place.”

Justin’s dad steps forward, his handshake firm but warm, his eyes studying you with quiet curiosity before his face softens into a welcoming smile. “Don’t let these two scare you off. We’re happy to finally meet you. Let's head inside, I think Holly already has the baby pictures set out and ready for you to go through," he smiles, patting Justin on the back as his son shakes his head.

"You're lucky your dad talked me out of making a PowerPoint Presentation because we were seconds away from watching a pre dinner slideshow." Holly says to him with a small smile as everyone steps inside.

Patrick's voice cuts through everyone's laughter, "she's not even kidding, it was about to have music included and everything but dad saved you. I was about to give her some of the best material." He looks over at you, overenunciating for emphasis. "Two words: bowl. Cut."

"See what I have to deal with?" Justin whispers, gently pulling you into his side. Mark and Holly exchange knowing looks but don't say anything.

The house smelled of cinnamon and fresh bread, like warmth itself had settled into the walls. Framed pictures lined the hallways—some faded with time, others vibrant and new—each capturing a story of childhood adventures and hard-won victories. The fireplace crackled softly, casting flickering shadows across the cozy living room. This wasn’t just a house; it was a sanctuary, a place where love was stitched into the very fabric of its foundation.

On the table in the living room is a stack of photo albums from when Justin was a newborn all the way up until his senior year of college. Countless memories were shared in these frames, a clearly busy but joyful childhood filled with love, laughter and lots of sporting events of all kinds. You could see that this family valued quality time with each other and the home you were in radiated warmth and love.

You ran your fingers lightly over the plastic covering of one album, tracing the faded marker label: Justin – Year 3. Inside, a chubby-cheeked toddler grinned back at you, his tiny facial features stretched in a mischievous but slightly forced smile.

“He never changed,” Patrick teased. “Still hates cameras.”

His words made you laugh a little because it was true, but you also saw something deeper. A boy who had grown up in a home where love wasn’t measured in trophies or contracts but in moments. The same boy who had fought to protect his private life in the face of stadium lights and national attention. You understood now—it wasn’t about secrecy. It was about keeping his people, the most important part of him, safe.

Your gaze flickered to Justin, his fingers tapping against his thigh—a telltale sign of deep thought. He wasn’t just reminiscing. He was remembering what it felt like to carry all of this, to be seen as something larger than life before he even had a chance to grow into it. And yet, here, he wasn’t the NFL quarterback. He was just...Justin.

"He was the starter by the end of that season, kind of became the hometown hero from then," Mitch sighs, sifting through some of the photos. "Things kind of got chaotic after that, with comparisons and people talking on social media."

"It was annoying," Justin cuts in, "deleted my Instagram after that. Only got it back around the draft for endorsement purposes." His words are dry, like it was painful or embarrassing thinking back to that time.

You had always respected, even admired, Justin’s need for privacy. But sitting here, surrounded by the people who had shaped him, you understood where it all came from: it wasn’t just about keeping the world out—it was about keeping his world safe. The weight of expectations, the relentless scrutiny, the unspoken pressure to be perfect—it had started young. He hadn’t chosen to be private. He had been forced to learn how to protect the things that mattered most.

And that’s what this house and his family was.

His one refuge from a world that always wanted more.

"Alright," Holly says, breaking you out of your epiphany, "who's ready to eat?"

This was a family you could definitely see yourself being a part of. Justin seemed so much more relaxed and at ease here which was a stark contrast to what you'd seen from him recently. His job was unforgiving, unrelenting. And the fans? You thanked your lucky stars daily for the fact that Justin wasn't on Twitter, especially after the Houston loss. This is where he belonged, these were his people. They didn't care about the stats or the money or everything that came with it and that's exactly how he wanted to be treated. He had a home in these people. He'd only found that comfort and peace one other time since he left Eugene.

And that was when he met you.

Dinner went on seamlessly, Mark joking asked if you two had a wedding date set after watching his son not-so-subtly check in on you throughout your stay. There were inside jokes, little moments of laughter from your relationship with Justin like how you had to adjust to his crazy hours in the facility from Monday-Wednesday but Thursdays were the days that really mattered, it was just the two of you. And sometimes Mitch and Isabella. But those were the days that brought you even closer, those little moments, just like this one that brought you so much joy it felt like you'd explode. There was easy laughter, Patrick telling some story about Justin being so private and how much he likes to keep to himself that he never thought he'd see this day. You spoke up and reassured him that you think you've successfully peeled back some layers and found your best friend in the process. Out of the corner of your eye you caught Mitch giving Patrick a nudge. Even Mark cracked a little smile, but all you could focus on was Justin's subtle smile that spoke volumes, in his own unique way. After everyone was finished with their meal, you found yourself in the kitchen with Holly, helping her plate dessert while the guys debated football in the other room.

“He’s different with you, you know.” She nodded, wiping her hands on a dish towel before leaning against the counter.

Your hands froze mid-reach. A small knot of nerves twisted in your stomach. “Different good or…?”

She smiled, her eyes soft with something unreadable. “Good. Really good.” There was a wistfulness in her expression, something unspoken lingering in the air. “You remind me of someone.”

You tilted your head, curiosity sparking. “Oh?”

“His grandma. My mom,” she said, voice quieter now, like the weight of memory had settled over her. “She was the only one who could ever get my dad to slow down. He was always moving—always thinking about the next challenge, the next goal. But with her, it was…different. She had this way of pulling him back to the present, reminding him that love isn’t measured in achievements. That life isn’t just about what you do—it’s about who you share it with.”

Her eyes met yours then, her meaning unmistakable. “Seeing you and Justin felt very similar to seeing them together again. It’s really nice to see him be with someone who helps him to reel it in a little.”

Your heart clenched, warmth blooming in your chest. You swallowed past the lump in your throat, forcing out a small laugh. “Well, he’s still a workaholic, so I might not be that good at it.”

Holly chuckled. “That’s just who he is. But I see the way he looks at you. The way he’s always checking in. You’re his home. His safe space.” She paused, and added softly, “And that’s all a mother could ever want for her son.”

You blinked back the unexpected sting of tears and watched as Holly swiped at her eyes. Before you could really process what you were doing, you were hugging her again. All the nerves and tension from earlier have completely vanished. Justin might not say much, but his actions had always spoken volumes. And now, hearing it from his mom—knowing that she saw it too—meant more than you could put into words.

The two of you walked back in with trays holding little bowls filled with apple crisp and a scoop of vanilla ice cream on top with caramel drizzle.

As Justin watched you, something settled in his chest—a feeling he hadn’t even known he was searching for. His mom was smiling at you in that way she only did when she had already decided someone was family. His dad—usually quiet, reserved—nodded along to your words like he genuinely enjoyed the conversation. His brothers, relentless as ever, had already started pulling you into their teasing.

And there you were. Sitting beside him, laughing like you belonged here. Because you did.

An hour later, after lingering goodbyes and a few last jokes, you walked side by side to his car. As Justin slid into the driver’s seat, he exhaled slow and deep. A weight he hadn’t even realized he was carrying finally lifted. Maybe it was the fear of his two worlds colliding. Maybe it was the quiet, unspoken worry that you wouldn’t fit into this part of his life.

But you did. Seamlessly. Effortlessly. Like you were always meant to.

“Well,” you said, patting his thigh with a teasing grin, “that went great. Can’t believe you were so freaked out.”

He turned to you, feigning offense before shaking his head with a laugh. The sound of it filled the car, warm and easy. You joined in, your laughter melting into his as he reached for your hand, lacing his fingers through yours.

This. This is what home should feel like.

Justin leaned over, pressing a kiss to your temple, his lips lingering for just a second longer than necessary. “Told you they’d love you,” he murmured.

But as he pulled back, hand still wrapped around yours, the thought hit him like a slow-burning realization.

I think I might love you too.

[fayelero]

— SMELL THAT ! rintarou suna

➥ pr : timeskip!suna x fem!reader

➥ syn : your husband decided to prank you by doing this

➥ tw : wife reader, pure fluff.

➥ a/n : omggg I found this in my fyp it’s so funny lmao (am i alone?)

The day had started off quietly for you. Suna had left early in the morning to hang out with Atsumu and a few of his friends, and you used the peaceful hours to enjoy your book and relax around the house. After lunch, Suna finally returned home. He looked a bit tired but still greeted you with a quick kiss on the forehead before retreating to the bedroom for some much-needed rest.

You didn’t think much of it when he disappeared for a while, though you were amused at how his outings with Atsumu always seemed to exhaust him more than a full volleyball match. By the time the late afternoon rolled around, you had curled up on the sofa with your book again, completely engrossed in the story.

That’s when it happened.

Suna strolled into the living room with a furrowed brow, his movements deliberate, almost ominous. His tall frame loomed slightly over you as he stopped at the edge of the sofa.

“Smell that?” he asked, his tone sharp and accusatory.

You blinked, slowly lowering your book to look up at him. “No?” you replied, confused.

“Exactly!” he said, throwing his hands up. “Where is dinner?”

Your brows furrowed as his words sank in. For a moment, you thought he was joking, but his face stayed serious. You glanced at the clock—it wasn’t even close to dinner time yet. Still, his sudden irritation threw you off guard.

“What do you mean, ‘where’s dinner?’” you asked, sitting up straighter. “It’s barely past four! You just got home—what’s your problem?”

He crossed his arms, his lips pressing into a thin line. “I’m starving. I’ve been out all day, and I come home to… nothing? Nothing, babe?” He emphasized the last word, his voice dripping with mock disappointment.

You felt your face heat, a mix of anger and embarrassment. “Excuse me? I didn’t realize this was the 1950s, and I was supposed to have a three-course meal waiting for you the second you walked through the door. If you’re hungry, you know where the kitchen is!”

“I work hard!” he shot back, his tone dramatic and theatrical now, though you were too flustered to notice it right away. “I play volleyball to keep us in this lifestyle, and this is the thanks I get?”

“Are you serious right now?” you asked, your voice rising. You stood up from the couch, squaring off with him. He towered over you, but you refused to back down. “I do plenty around here, Rin! You think just because you’re tall and handsome, you can talk to me like this?”

He opened his mouth, but the moment you caught the faintest twitch of his lips—the beginning of a suppressed grin—it clicked. You narrowed your eyes suspiciously.

“Wait… what is this?”

“Nothing,” he said too quickly, avoiding your gaze.

“Rintarou Suna.” You folded your arms across your chest. “Is this one of Atsumu’s stupid ideas?”

At that, he couldn’t hold it in anymore. His serious expression crumbled, and a wide grin broke out on his face as he doubled over with laughter.

“Oh my god!” you groaned, throwing your head back in exasperation. “It is! You absolute idiot! I really thought you were mad at me!”

He was laughing so hard he had to clutch his stomach, tears forming at the corners of his eyes. “Babe, your face—” he wheezed. “You looked so offended—oh my god, Atsumu’s going to love this.”

You smacked his arm. “You’re the worst! I can’t believe you fell for one of his dumb ideas.”

“Come on, it was funny!” he said, straightening up and wiping at his eyes. “You’ve got to admit it was good.”

“Good?” you repeated, your voice climbing an octave. “You scared the crap out of me, Rinnie! I was about to start thinking you were misogynistic!”

He leaned down, wrapping his arms around your waist despite your protests. “Okay, okay, I’m sorry,” he said, pressing a kiss to your temple. “It was just a joke. You know I don’t expect you to make dinner every day. I’ll make it up to you, I swear.”

“You’d better,” you muttered, crossing your arms over your chest. “You’re making dinner tonight.”

“Done,” he said, grinning. “Anything you want.”

You huffed but couldn’t help the small chuckle that escaped you. “You’re lucky I love you.”

“Lucky and smart,” he teased, leaning back slightly to look down at you. “I mean, I could’ve married someone without a sense of humor—”

“Don’t push your luck,” you interrupted, glaring at him.

He held his hands up in mock surrender, his grin still firmly in place. “Fine, fine. But seriously, baby, you should’ve seen your face.”

You sighed, shaking your head. But then your eyes landed on the sofa pillow, and an idea struck. Before he could react, you grabbed the pillow and swung it at him, hitting him square in the chest.

“Hey!” he protested, laughing as you swung again. “What are you doing?”

“You deserve this!” you said, chasing him around the living room with the pillow. “You and Atsumu are the absolute worst!”

He ducked out of reach, laughing so hard he could barely get a word out. “Okay, okay, I give up! Baby, stop—”

“Not until you apologize properly!” you yelled, whacking him again.

He caught the pillow mid-swing, towering over you as he smirked down at you. “You know you’re not scary, right? You’re, like, half my height.”

“Don’t test me, Rinnie!” you said, though you couldn’t help but laugh.

He pulled you into his arms, holding you tight despite your half-hearted protests. “Okay, okay,” he said, his voice warm with amusement. “I’m sorry. You’re amazing. I love you. And I’ll never prank you again—well, unless it’s a really good idea.”

You groaned, leaning into his chest despite yourself. “Oh hell nah.”

“And you love it,” he murmured, pressing a soft kiss to your forehead.

You sighed, but a small smile tugged at your lips. “Yeah, yeah, I do.”

Ⓒkiesbrainjuice all rights reserved. please to not plagiarize, repost, or translate !

tag : @haechansbbg

[cro-fiishy]

pkciv dash simulator

⭐ my-friend mutuals

I love my IRL friend to death, but I don't think he knows my real name. He just calls me "His Friend".

⭐ my-friend mutuals

I asked him about it and he looked at me funny and said "I mean you are my friend, right?" and I didn't have the heart to press further.

⭐ my-friend mutuals

Beginning to develop a Pavlovian response to the word "friend".

⭐ my-friend mutuals

New username :/

👴🏽 oldchamp-deactivated mutuals

I Cant Feel My Legs

🔄 vineboomsound

are u ok,????? what hapened :(

👴🏽 oldchamp-deactivated mutuals

DMs

🔄 vineboomsound

about to jump into the bottomless void. if i dont post again in like 5 minutes then dont let anyone take the temple decor down

🔄 vineboomsound

i just got jumped?,????

🔄 vineboomsound

THEY R HUNTING ME FOR SPORT :(

🔄 vineboomsound

nvm actaully that was fire. no one here knows how to do three-sixties i got htis

🐢 chain-male follow

hey

🔄 vineboomsound

oh God get me Out of here

🐢 chain-male follow

the "male" in my name is short for mansplain manipulate malewife

🥀 guard1 follow

this job is soooo boooring. at least i get to hang out with the bestie later :D

🔄 vineboomsound

thats great man haha

🔄 vineboomsound

🐢 chain-male follow

@ vineboomsound hurry up bro the level will freeze over before you get back

🔄 vineboomsound

ok asshole you try parkouring on ice and literal glass shards while also evading local authorities.

🐢 chain-male follow

what, you want me to kiss it better??? whiny ass

🔄 vineboomsound

i want you to starve in that sand house

🐢 chain-male follow

you wanna fuck me so bad it makes you look stupid

🥀 guard1 follow

i just don't know what to do now that he's gone.

🖤 allyyyyy follow

sorry for your loss. do you want to hunt the champion and plan our revenge together

🥀 guard1 follow

yeah

🔄 vineboomsound

has anyone heard from @ my-friend lately :(

📕 dustypage-deactivated following

I just remembered my password! :-)

🔄 vineboomsound

well this is gonna be an awkward one to explain

🐢 chain-male follow

i'm so hungry like it's not even funny

🔄 vineboomsound

skill issue im still not giving you my boots

🐢 chain-male follow

i'd rather you just call me a homophobic slur at this point

🖤 allyyyyy follow

questioning my duties

🖤 allyyyyy follow

stalking that guy

🖤 allyyyyy follow

questioning my duties again

🖤 allyyyyy follow

fuck it i'm sending the ask

🔄 vineboomsound

anonymous asked: hey . just wanted to let you know that you're following someone really problematic. check your dms

ummm What !

🔄 vineboomsound

ok what hte fuck !

🔄 vineboomsound

actually this isnt surprising at all what am i saying lmao

🐢 chain-male follow

call me a wife the way i'm pining for a man's long-awaited return

🐢 chain-male follow

and also the way i'm plotting and conspiring

🐢 chain-male follow

call me a wife the way i'm scheming in the kitchen

🔄 vineboomsound

??? HUH

🐢 chain-male follow

dont worry about it <3

🔄 vineboomsound

no yeah his ass is definitely evil

🔄 vineboomsound

his ass........

⭐ my-friend mutuals

Evbo,. send hel p

🔄 vineboomsound

MY FRIEND??????

🐢 chain-male follow

about to make twink death literal in more ways than one <3

end of simulation

[yanderefarm]

I need me a silivan request, like vampire reader is at one of those vampires parties, silvan was sitting on reader’s lap all dolled and pretty, and then one of a high statue vampire would be memrized by silivan and would ask reader to buy silivan fron him, and at that time reader was getting confused by his feeling, he got attached to his pet, and acted jealous on the other vampire.

cw;; dehumanization, fluff,

this is such a cute idea. thats your pet!!!

this was your first party with silvan as your pet after centuries of seemingly looking down on the practice of pet humans. you still weren't sure about keeping him, he seemed fragile and delicate and stupid. even now at a party where he should be passed around and adored by every hungry horny vampire in the place he was clinging to you. his little hand gripped the back of your shirt tightly like a child afraid of getting lost. was it cute? maybe.

you decided to be generous to the frightened human and grant him permission to sit with you while you talked about work. he sat in the chair next to you and you pulled him back up immediately.

"humans don't sit there."

"im sorry... where do i sit, sir?"

that's how he ended up in your lap. it attracted many eyes to you but they still kept to themselves. they were smart.

the bold idiot who approached you wasn't.

you were minding your own business when this fool came up to you. you recognized him as someone who had recently came into ownership of a large human farm, he was still only a baron though. he smiled at you and then even wider at the pretty thing on your lap.

"did you get a pet, my lord?"

you let out a heavy sigh. "i haven't decided yet."

"how much would you sell it for?" the other vampire reached out and grabbed one of silvan's curls. silvan tried his best not to move but he pulled back into your chest slightly.

".... i don't know."

"it looks pretty high quality! where did you get it?"

this guy's voice was uniquely grating on your nerves. how he kept referring to silvan as an it, how he looked at him like an object. there was this feeling in your stomach that he wasn't just seeing silvan as an object but as an object that would increase his own value. he didn't even like silvan properly! he only cared because silvan was with you.

"i had him bred specifically to be beautiful. if he were for sale I'm sure he would be worth more than anything you own."

you could tell you hurt his pride with that. "that's... I'll have you know I've come into a lot of wealth recently, my lord!"

"oh?" you feigned ignorance. "oh i did hear about you acquiring some land."

"the 5th largest farm in your territory and 3rd in quality." he puffed out his chest in pride. like you don't own number one on both of those lists. god this guy is annoying.

"then you can have him if i can have that." you smiled smugly watching his face immediately falter.

"h-huh? but that's..."

"you don't want my specially bred pet?"

"he-he's certainly beautiful!! if-if you get into the breeding market you should let me know first thing!!!" he scurried off.

you hugged silvan's small frame tight against your body without thinking, wrapping yourself around him like a protective blanket. the silver haired boy was blushing in your arms his entire face red while you were pouting.

"sir... are.. am i.. yours..?" silvan asked tepidly his voice just loud enough for you to hear.

you felt his warmth from his embarrassment seeping into your body and you held him even tighter. your cold heart yearned to beat.

"yes. you're mine. no one else can have you."

[chaoticace2005]

Reasons the Mothman should die, collectively written by the residents of the Hazbin Hotel:

Coding for Characters: Vaggie, Charlie, Pentious, Alastor, Niffty, Husk, pretty much everyone

TW: References to abuse

He’s holding back Angel’s progress. (Vaggie, is killing really necessary?) (I am concerned about going after a Vee)

I’m hungry (ALASTOR!)

Ms. Angel gets nervous when on the phone with him.

His coat is tacky.

He’s a bug! And bugs must be DESTROYED!

So Angel stops feeling like he has to be so damn fake. This is getting on my fucking nerves.

HE LICKED CHARLIE!!! (Vaggie, wait it’s okay.)

Color scheme sucks. Purple AND red?!

He makes Angel sad, NOBODY should make Angel sad.

Those obnoxious glasses just make him look stupid.

He’s a manipulative, abusive prick.

ANGEL DIDN'T KNOW BOUNDARIES WERE A THING?!?!?!?!?!? (Honestly that explains a lot.)

NOBODY deserves to be in an abusive relationship.

Too many arms. Nobody needs that many. (...Angel has that many?) (Well maybe he shouldn't.)

Ms. Angel keeps coming home all messy!!

He’s ruining hearts for everyone. Me and Angel already have enough. At least those are on our bodies, what’s his excuse?

Hearts should not even be ASSOCIATED with Valentino, THIS IS NOT LOVE.

I can do without all the sexual depravity. While I am in Hell this is NOT one of the reasons.

If I have to hear that ringtone one more damn time-

The Eggies found some of his films. They should never be exposed to such horrors. Now I have to explain what “a sex” is.

Makes picture shows that are a disgrace to the idea of “entertainment.”

He’s making a bad name for Uncle Ozzie. This is NOT “lust.”

So we don’t have to listen to another one of Angel’s pornos. (Agreed, it’s quite horrifying!!)

So Ms. Angel isn’t tired when she gets home and can save the kinky stuff for then :) (Niff, really?)

So the kid stops coming home with bruises and cuts that I fix up at 3 am. (Husk, what the fuck?)

Because what the FUCK Valentino?

He keeps forcing Angel to do drugs. (HE WHAT?! Like crack??) (That but also I’m pretty sure whatever comes out of him is an aphrodisiac.)

I want to use his antenna as a backscratcher

Has that whole red color thing going on. Only I am allowed to wear red :) (Al, your text isn’t even red.) (My what?)

What is up with his red spit and smoke? Seriously disgusting.

The red stuff from him may be what allows Velvette to create her “Love Potions” which funds Vax’s stupid endeavors (Do you mean Vox?) (Who?)

FOR MY COLLECTION :D (…yeah okay.)

Really is making a bad name for Overlords. And not in the fun way.

Angel’s shown trauma signs of abuse in our meetings. Im pretty sure it’s Valentino.

Make a doll out of his fur so I have a main villain for roach puppet shows!!!

His only purpose is to keep Veks occupied but considering Vixen’s inane attempts to catch my attention it isn’t working.

So Angel can have his soul and he and Husk can run off into the sunset together like in a fanfiction!!! (Ah, yes that would be nice.) (WE WHAT?!) (Oh Husker, denial doesn’t suit you.)

So Angel can get a good boyfriend THAT’S NOT ME to stop these bullshit allegations.

So Angel can admit his feelings to Husker because our cat surely isn’t going to be the first to do it. (ALASTOR I SWEAR TO GOD!)

Who knows how many other people he’s abusing.

Seems to give Vicks confidence. He has enough of that as is. It much more fun to destroy him.

He makes Angel sad which makes Cherri sad!

HE HIT ANGEL!!!

Called my dear Rosie an "old hag" NOBODY CALLS ROSIE AN OLD HAG.

Angel is a good friend and deserves so much better.

I’ve forgotten what moths taste like.

He keeps trying to get Angel to move out :(

Told the kid he had to lose weight. What the actual FUCK. (Ill kill him.)

He’s annoying and looks quite stupid. How has this not been added yet?!

He’s making a bad name for Spanish speakers everywhere. (Yeah it’s embarrassing.) (Wait… what?)

He’s making a bad name for pansexuals everywhere.

He’s making a bad name for wing-holders everywhere. (HE HAS FUCKING WINGS?!) (Oh, yeah, I didn’t tell you?)

Too tall. This is ridiculous.

Won’t admit he’s blind so he’s become even more of a public safety hazard.

If I get one more transmission of him and Box commiting lascivious acts someone will be eaten. I don’t care who. What the purpose of these are I don’t know. Advertisement? (I think it’s to make you jealous boss.) (Ha! Jealous of what? Mediocre sex with a pathetic excuse for a businessman with a TV as a head?)

Because Angel deserves fucking better.

[nohoney]

there’s knocking at bakugou’s front door that he assumes is from you, probably too drunk from your girls night out to get your house keys out from your purse. imagine to his surprise when he opens the front door and he sees three of your girlfriends carrying you together while the fourth one was the one who knocked on his door and you’re knocked out.

“hey bakugou, (name) is home safe and sound!”

he’s gotta hand it to your friends, they’re good ones for carrying you all the way up to the front door.

“thanks, you can give her here. i got her.” bakugou offers up his arms for your friends to relieve them of carrying you.

“no we can take her in, we just wanna kiss her goodnight.”

god the amount of affection you and your friends have for one another once you’re all wasted is something else. but bakugou has long gotten used to it too so he steps aside to let your friend group in. even as your head lolls, one of them carefully readjusts so that your head doesn’t hang at an awkward angle. it sort of reminds bakugou of the one time sero had to carry kaminari over his shoulder after getting too wasted at a house party.

you’re laid down on the big couch you and him purchased together recently, all of them gathered around you and making sure that you’re comfortable. it must be some sort of intuition you have to know that your girls are about to leave that you suddenly open your eyes, still pretty drunk, and you open your arms for your girls. bakugou watches as you and your friend group drunkenly voice your love for one another, smirking a little when one kisses you on your mouth and the other one playfully grabs at your tit with a compliment of how hot you looked tonight.

“bakugou, this is our girl okay? you better take care of her!”

“yeah katsuki!” you join in on hanging up on him, “if you do some stupid shit, they’re gonna get you!”

oh he has no doubt about it; one of the girls in your group is somewhat notorious for petty revenge and even he would not be up for that.

bakugou bids your girlfriends good night, watching from the front door as they all gather into their car. he waves them off as they drive away, the friend that knocked on his door being the designated driver to take the others home. he shuts off the porch light and locks his front door, already knowing the drill of what you want when you’re this drunk at this hour.

“tsuki, i’m hungry and i want-“

“macaroni and cheese with fries. i know baby.” bakugou finishes your sentence, kneeling down to take off your high heels first and then holds the palm of his hand up, watching as you carefully peel off your fake eyelashes and you place them in his hand. “you gonna clean these or toss them?”

“toss.”

into the trash your lashes go and bakugou brings out the boxed macaroni and heats up the air fryer. you go into the bathroom where your makeup remover and all your skincare is already laid out for you, taking in a breath as you gather all two brain cells you have left to clean your face and at least do a body rinse in the shower.

food is ready by the time you exit the bathroom but you haven’t sobered up quite yet. while you eat your usual drunk-past-midnight meal bakugou comments, “i like your friends.”

“yeah, they’re great aren’t they?” you agree with a nod before munching on a crinkle fry. “they like you too. they say i should marry you.”

“really?” bakugou chuckles, “and here i am thinkin’ that my girl is gonna leave me to elope with her girlfriends instead.”

“they’re gonna be my bridesmaids when we get married.”

your words bring a fuzzy, sentimental feeling bloom in his chest. he knows that you’re drunk still and you possibly won’t remember this conversation, but he wants to hear more of what you have to say. “is that so? you talked about our wedding already?”

in drunken detail and while eating your food at the same time, you go over how each of your girlfriends will help support you in planning your supposed future union with bakugou. he listens, not bothering to hide the smile on his face as you go on and on. you talk more about how your friends will be involved rather than you and him but bakugou likes it. he likes how your friends like him and that they’re the most supportive group of girls he’s ever seen.

“you’re gonna wear a orange tie, mmkay? and we’re gonna have a mango cake!” you start to go off about what kind of food will be served at the wedding as bakugou cleans up the plates before you abruptly declare, “katsuki, you’re the only guy my friends like. the only one so don’t fuck this up, okay?”

“i won’t sweetheart, not with your gals ready to hide my body if i break your heart.”

you don’t remember the conversation the next morning when you wake up with a pounding hangover. but bakugou does. he remembers it as he gazes at you with a drink hand, wearing the orange tie you told him to wear and little bites of mango cake having already been fed to him by you. he watches how you hug your bridesmaids, your best friends, the girls who carried you home when you got too drunk and supported your relationship with him.

bakugou remembers how he waved off the girls that night as they drove back to their houses, and now they’re the ones waving you off as you and bakugou get into your car together to head to the airport for the honeymoon.

“you know my girls told me that i should marry you?”

bakugou plays dumb to the question, just only to hear the story from you again how he earned the seal of approval from your closest friends. he owes a mountain of gratitude to them because you and him probably wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for them.

they were the ones who told you to go up to him after all.

[wannabevampire]

omgomgomg poly!mattfrank x avenger!reader smut based on reader getting sprayed by sex pollen PLS PLS PLS this is getting me dead

i actually can’t stop thinking about this omg…i’ve never written a sex pollen fic before! (which feels kinda surprising because of my well documented desperation kink??)

18+ MDNI (sex pollen, hard!domfrank + soft!dom matt, degradation, dumbification, little bit of praise, desperation, edging + orgasm denial, crying in a good way!, squirting)

i am DYING to write poly!mattfrank because that would just be such a hot dynamic. i’m thinking soft dom matt and hard dom frank…yes please. they’d both be so good at degradation, but they would have entirely different approaches.

☆~Soft!Dom Matt Murdock

“Aw look at my poor baby, always so pathetic and needy. She just can’t help herself Frank. Desperate little slut doesn’t know what to do without us. Just need me to make all the decisions for you isn’t that right? It’s not your fault that you can’t do anything with that dumb baby brain of yours. You just let me and Frank to take care of you, okay princess?”

☆~Hard!Dom Frank Castle

“God look at yourself, I don’t think I’ve ever seen anything as pathetic are you darling. Just a dumb cock hungry slut who can’t function without being told what to do. If only everyone could see how brain dead and submissive you get the moment Matt and I have you alone. Not so independent and demanding now are you sweetheart?”

and the way it would just get SO MUCH MORE INTENSE once they realize this is more than your normal levels of desperation and you’ve been sprayed with sex pollen.

normally frank edges you for a WHILE before he lets you think about cumming, this man loves orgasm denial because he loves how desperate and pathetic it makes you. but the sex pollen has made you about 50x more desperate for them than you would normally be after 2 hours of orgasm denial.

Matt wouldn’t even bother with teasing you, he can be mean, but not that mean. At the end of the day he still just wants to make you feel good and take care of you.

But if we’re being honest Frank definitely still tries to edge you. He doesn’t care how pathetic you already are, he wants to see how desperate he can get you before you break. But Matt can tell that you truly can’t handle it in your current state and puts Frank in his place.

The sex would be so filthy and desperate. Like the sex pollen would have you absolutely insatiable, no matter how many times you came you still wanted more. But you would be so sensitive and constantly on the verge of cumming. It would be so easy for them to make you cum and they would have such a fun time playing with “their little fuck toy”!!

Also have such a vivid image of Matt holding you against his chest while Frank fucks you. Matt would whisper praise into your ear while making sure you can’t run from Franks dick. He would stroke your hair, kiss your forehead, and pinch your nipples when he could sense you calming down.

“Oh you’re doing such a good job princess, such a good girl for me and Frank. Letting him pound that fucking pussy and taking every inch of his cock. Bet you’re gonna make such a pretty mess cumming all over that dick while you let me play with you.”

You’re crying at this point, completely overwhelmed with pleasure. Frank doesn’t let up, fucking you hard and making sure to hit your g spot every time. He’d smirk down at you, proud of how much he and Matt ruined you.

“Is my pathetic little slut gonna gush all over my cock? Gonna cum while Matt holds you and destroy that fucking pussy? Give it to me darling, show me what it looks like when a desperate whore cums after being fucked stupid.”

After so much stimulation and cumming so many times you can’t stop yourself from squirting all over Franks dick. Soaking both of you while he continues to fuck you through your orgasm. Not bothering to stop as tears stream down your face and you continue gushing on his cock. Your screams of pleasure muffled by Matt’s hand. Frank doesn’t let up until he cums inside you.

The aftercare would also be amazing!! Making sure you were as comfortable as possible and checking that the degradation wasn’t too much. There would most likely also be an extremely awkward doctors trip to make sure the sex pollen had no long lasting side effects and that you were safe & healthy!

..

Okay this is my first drabble in a while so go easy on me! not proof read so It’s not the best but I had fun and it’s SUCH A HOT CONCEPT!!! hope you enjoyed ☆♡

xoxo,

allie 🕊️

[baffledandbewildered]

“I have a hypothetical,” Evi4 says.

The statement is a bit… random, but Betty doesn’t mind that. Evi is a little random, sometimes - she loves it about him.

“Sure? What’s up?”

Evi frowns, looks up at where Nara and Aster are talking. “I don’t want to…” He grabs Betty’s hand and drags her a little behind the Jest house, far enough away that the conversation is almost indistinguishable.

Evi4 isn’t usually this… serious. Betty knows they can be serious if needed, if necessary, she knows that better than most, but… it’s still weird. Discomforting. 

Betty doesn’t say anything, just gives them time to gather their words, and eventually they start speaking.

“If you were in a situation where - you have to kill either me or Void,” Evi says haltingly. “Who would you choose? Killing Void would - obviously have a lot of consequences.”

Betty can’t help but laugh. “What? Evi - we’ve literally - we’ve killed Void? Why would I choose his life over yours?”

“Killing Void would be dangerous though.”

“I don’t care. I’m not killing you.”

“That’s the wrong decision,” Evi mutters.

They - she can’t help but feel they’re having completely different conversations here.

“It’s - it’s not, Evi I love you why would I - no. I wouldn’t do that.”

“You should.”

“No.”

“Ugh. You’re so weirddd Betty.”

“I don’t think I am for not wanting to kill my fiance…” she says, but doesn’t want to argue the point further.

The two of them go back to Nara and Aster and rejoin the conversation like nothing has happened, but the thought still weighs on Betty’s mind. She’s not sure what just happened, and it’s… odd.

But it’s easy to forget, with the chaos of this day - Twirps is a VIP, five of Pathogen are online - Twirps wants to fight all of them, because of course, and while everyone’s trying to prepare she and Evi notice most of the team in the Red Light District.

Evi’s been casting hungry glances in that direction for a little while, creeping closer and closer - they’re going to get spotted, so Betty runs over, trying her best to keep out of sight herself, and splashes invis on them.

“Good luck!” she whispers. “Please don’t get killed.”

“I won’t!” Evi says and Betty watches the faint trail of particles disappear into the cave.

I’m gonna try steal something Evi messages her, and Betty holds back a giggle - she’s not going to move far away from the cave just in case something goes wrong, so she really doesn’t want to be overheard - she’s not the best with potions, and as such is currently also invisible - not the most innocent look, even if she’s not actually doing anything.

Of course, the invis still hasn’t faded when she gets another message on her communicator. 

okay so I might have been spotted

Oh gods. Betty types back: okay I’ll go talk to them, try to distract them, please try to leave

DONT DO THAT OH MY GODDDD

Evi4 is so - protective. It’s endearing, but also - this situation - it’s uncomfortably familiar to their messages on the day they killed Void, when Evi was spawntrapped, Evi refusing to tell her what was going on because he knew that Betty would gladly get herself killed if it meant Evi was okay - 

So Betty’s not listening to him now, and instead she runs into the cave, waving at Cog and Void and Arch. She’s… still invisible, which is awkward, and she’s pretty sure they know exactly what she’s doing but no one tries to jump Evi even when he starts rifling through one of Pathogen’s shulkers, Cog even gives her a very brief tour, and before she knows it she and Evi are both running back to main spawn, giggling.

“Success!” Evi says, showing her what they managed to steal.

“Yay it was worth it then,” Betty says. “Oh my god that was terrifying but hey I can - I can de-escalate situations!”

“You’re awful at de-escalating situations - that was so stupid Betty oh my god -”

Betty laughs. “Maybe. I don’t care though.”

“You should.”

“The important thing to me is that you’re alive. I doubt they would have killed me anyway.”

“Ugh. You’re so stupid sometimes BettyIsBaffled oh my god we should get divorced -”

“Now wait a second!” Betty says, and within seconds they’re off-topic again.

The next day finds her giving Evi nearly an entire stack of anvils - she’d joked, yesterday, about it being an appropriate apology for Betty getting Evi spawnkilled all those weeks ago for the minecarts, and - well. The guilt of that weighs heavy on her still, and though she knows the comment wasn’t serious she still wants to - 

She renames them, too. For Evi <3. 

It’s not much of an apology, not much of a gift, but Evi squeals in delight the moment she realises what she’s been given, then presses a brief kiss to Betty’s cheek, hugging her tightly. 

On a whim, Betty asks Evi to kill her with the mace - she ends up dying twice, the second time more accidental than not, but it’s fun - and she can’t bring herself to mourn the lost levels when each time she returns Evi gives the heart back with a kiss.

They spend the rest of the day doing… very little. At one point, Evi brings up ‘the hypothetical’ from yesterday - they argue it again, only briefly, and Evi stops talking entirely for a long moment when Betty says fondly - “You’re so self sacrificing.”

She’s not wrong, but she’d never thought of it like that before - Evi is, so, painfully self-sacrificing - not for many people, maybe, but he is. She loves that about him. 

They’re sitting on top of the arena, looking out over spawn when Evi brings it up again.

“I’m curious about the - thing you said earlier,” they say slowly.

“Huh?”

“The - self-sacrificing comment. Can you explain that?”

“Oh! Yeah, yeah I - I can explain -”

But - of course - it’s that moment when Seri appears and once again the thread of conversation is lost. But they have fun! Seri and Evi are… an interesting duo, Aster joins them at one point, the top of the Arena maybe gets broken a little but they manage to fix it… then Evi decides they wanna try and kill Katamari.

If it was anyone else, Betty would be hesitant. But she knows how well Evi fights and well. Katamari. So she gives Evi her axe and a good luck kiss and waits for chaos to unfold.

evi4 whispers to you: they won’t stay still this is so annoying i don’t know whether to call this off

You whisper to evi4: you could try jump off the mangroves?

You whisper to evi4: but it’s up to you if you think it’s too dangerous its not worth it

You whisper to evi4: just stay alive

And Evi… does. He manages to hit Mari with the mace, but they escape, then Void shows up and the pair of them fight for a bit then Evi runs and gods Betty feels like she could cry from relief - she’s so happy for him. Both for the fights - they were awesome - but also for leaving when he realised he couldn’t win, not fighting till the end - she and Evi have spoken about this before, how pride isn’t worth it sometimes, not if it gets you killed -

She’s so happy.

For a while after, they just… hang out at spawn. Void shows them the strip club, Evi digs holes in his walls, Betty tries her best not to fall asleep - turns out dying twice to a mace in ten minutes leaves you incredibly tired, or maybe it’s just her poor sleep schedule - still, it’s a fun day, honestly. 

The next afternoon, Evi asks Betty to join her at Animal Crossing Village - she’s working on getting backup gear, she says, and Betty’s down an axe from yesterday’s shenanigans so for a little while the two of them trade with villagers, talking about anything and everything.

It’s - strangely domestic. Making gear alongside someone else… it’s nice. She’s done this with Nara, the day after she and Evi killed Void, a few other times after that, but before that… a long time ago. Maybe the day after the Gameshow, when she and Sunset were…

It’s nice to have company. It’s fun - especially when the two of them get distracted going through their shulkers - “Why do I have 14 stacks of iron blocks in here?” - or Evi traps her in a corner, only to get flustered when Betty flirts back and mine the blocks under him, falling into the basement with an embarrassed yelp - at one point Evi asks her to spawn an iron golem so he can mace practise, then digs through the rusted corpse to hand her the poppy at its heart and Betty holds it so tightly she’s afraid the fragile stem will break.

Neither of them are particularly good at staying on task but it’s just. Good. It’s nice not to be alone.

At some point, they end up talking about dying - “You’ve killed me more than anyone else has, I think,” Betty muses, pulling up her statistics. “Uhh. Sin, Cog, Blue/arrow-cannon, creeper, Pollocks, Void, you, you again with the carts, Void again, Nara, then you again twice yesterday - I’m missing a death, what am I missing -”

There are four of her deaths now at Evi’s hands (do the minecarts count -?) and that’s - it’s a nice thought. She likes that she gets to choose. She likes… it’s a promise, isn’t it? Dying for someone, choosing to let them kill you... I trust you with my life, with my heart. 

“Imagine being able to remember your deaths…” Evi says wonderingly.

“Not all of them,” Betty says absentmindedly, still trying to work out what she’s forgetting, then she pauses. “Oh -”

The last she heard, Evi had died 170 times… and it’s been a little while since then.

But Evi just giggles and bats lightly at her arm, quickly moving the conversation on to something else. Betty still feels guilty.

It’s evening when they decide to go back to spawn - Evi shows her the hidden respawn point he’s made on the way, and when she realises she hugs him tightly - she’s been asking for so long for Evi to be more careful of where he respawns. Maybe he’s feeling the same way she is - things are happening, now, dangerous things, the end of the season is in sight, they all need to be a bit more careful - or maybe he just wants to have a safe space to recover after a death. It doesn’t matter. She’s happy regardless.

They end up going to Sniffer Island. Betty lets herself fall dramatically onto the grass under one of the trees, and after a moment’s hesitation Evi sits down next to her. There are so many flowers here - Betty had thought she’d never want to see a sniffer again after the nightmare she’d had kidnapping Snorb, but this is nice. Peaceful.

“Oh!” she says, turning a little so she can see Evi. “I never - did I ever explain the - self-sacrifice comment? You asked, but -”

“No…”

“Do you want me to?”

“Yes!”

Betty pauses, then sits up, anxiously flexing her hands a little. She stares out at the ocean, trying to put her thoughts into words - this is important, she thinks.

“When - after we killed Void, that time. You got spawnkilled. And I was - I was messaging you saying if they - if they’d be willing to let you go, if I let them kill me, I’d be fine with that. You wouldn’t let me. You yelled at me. Even before - you wanted to take the blame for killing Void - you told me to lie, claim it was an accident, that you found us talking. Or when you were trapped in the obsidian box - or even the other day, when you were trying to steal from Pathogen in the Red Light District - you’re so worried about my life, without thinking of your own - and I appreciate it, I do, I - gods, I love you so much but - you don’t have to -” 

She stops herself from saying anything more - she’s probably said enough. She darts a look at Evi - they’re not looking at her, and she can’t read their expression. Eventually, they turn to face her, but still won’t meet her eyes.

“I just -” they start, then pause. “I just think it’s better for me to die rather than… you having to deal with any consequences. Like I hate dying, obviously, but it’s just - the better decision there.”

“What? Evi -”

He stares hard at the grass. “I think - me dying has less of an effect over you dying. I have people who can give me heart mats while it actually costs you. I’m already viewed as a weak player. If I die it’s not going to change people’s perspectives of me.”

“I don’t care about - well okay yeah I do but that’s not - that’s not worth it. That’s not - and Evi, I have allies now, you know that, you know there are - you know better than anyone -”

Now he meets her eyes. “When people kill you it means more than if people kill me,” he says quietly.

Betty feels her hearts skip a beat - this is so wrong but she doesn’t know what to say to fix it, doesn’t -

“I’m glad you didn’t die when I got spawnkilled ‘cause I think it would’ve made our connections even worse and maybe more people target us,” Evi continues hurriedly. “I don’t think people view you as weak - even if Cog thinks you’re a coward or something. You are -” She laughs a little. “- still known to trap people very well.”

Betty laughs weakly too - not that well, and Evi knows that, but she appreciates the - confidence in her abilities. 

“I just think people are more willing to give my gear and stuff back,” Evi says. “That’s not something… that you or anyone else - except maybe Seri - have.”

“That’s not - an issue, though - I can grind more gear, I don’t care - that’s not worth your life Evi,” Betty says - oh, she’s crying now, of course - she’s not even sure why. She’s not sure what to say - somewhere along the line she’s missed this, and it is important that they talk about it but she doesn’t know what to say.

Evi laughs - it’s a little bitter, and that’s so wrong because Evi4 isn’t…

“I’m sure if you asked anyone on the server who they’d rather lose a heart it’d be me,” they say. 

Well that’s wrong - Betty goes to interrupt but they shake their head and she stops. 

“Okay, okay yeah maybe there are some people who - want you dead but still,” Evi continues. “Pollocks would obviously care but - I think it’s just something he’s accepted as part of being teamed with me.”

“Evi…”

“I just. I really do think it’s better for me to die than you having to face consequences.”

“But - Evi - you dying is a consequence for me,” Betty says, then wipes the tears from her eyes with shaking hands. “That’s consequences. That’s consequences I - I don’t -”

She can’t bring herself to say anymore - she doesn’t know what to say. She doesn’t know how to fix this - she hates the fact Evi thinks so little of himself, that no one respects him the way Betty and Poll do, that Evi believes that -

They’re both silent for a little while.

Eventually, Evi looks at her again. He twists his hands together anxiously, pulling at a loose thread on his dress. “I can try to be less self-sacrificial with you but I want you to know I care a lot about you and think me dying instead of you is better.”

Betty takes a deep breath. “Okay. Okay. Yeah. I - I understand - and you - you understand what - what I mean, right? When I say -”

He nods rapidly.

“Yeah. Okay - and you’ll try. You’ll try - that’s all I can ask.” She smiles at them - she’s still crying, she probably looks a state but Evi smiles back shyly and she can’t bring herself to care. “Yeah. Okay.”

“Yay!” Evi4 says - he’s trying to act like nothing has happened but it’s so obvious that he’s just as - emotional as Betty is - it’s - gods, she loves him.

“Let’s make a heart!” Evi says, jumping to her feet then holding out a hand to pull Betty upright too. She doesn’t let go, either, even as the two of them dig a hole in the surface of the island and place froglights in a heart shape - it makes it a little difficult to build, but Betty appreciates it - it feels like a promise, like Evi’s saying: I’m not going to leave.

Likewise, Betty thinks to herself.

And then they’re standing next to the heart and Evi pauses, turns to face her. It’s dark now, but the moonlight makes their crown shine - they’ve never looked more like royalty, and Betty’s never been the type to care too much about titles but she’d gladly worship them.

Evi takes a deep breath. “I can try to be less self-sacrificial,” Evi repeats, hurried, tripping over the words a little. “I’ve spent most of my time on this server without anyone to rely on properly so I’m sorry if I show my love in odd ways like a piece of diorite or making sure you don’t die even if it costs me a lot.” They stop, take another measured breath. “I hope I’m able to communicate how much I love you even if it’s in something not very typical but I care about you a lot.”

And yep, Betty’s crying again, but she doesn’t move, lets Evi continue speaking.

“I’m very happy we’re allies - I don’t care about a lot of people on this server even if I trust them but I think you’re the only other person besides Pollocks I’d go to the ends of the earth for - you’ve done so much for me I love you a lot.”

“I - gods, Evi4, I love you too - I love you so much, I don’t think - I don’t think I’ll ever really be able to say it enough - gods -” She wipes her eyes on her sleeve, giggling weakly, then tugs at his shoulders until he bends down far enough she can kiss him. “I love you, okay?” she whispers against his lips. “I love you.”

She definitely could never say it enough - it’s - sometimes, when she’s alone, she remembers what she and Evi4 used to be - chasing them away from her herobrine summoner, explosions in her maze - they weren’t even friends at the start, and now -

They both yelp as the nose of a sniffer pushes its way between them, and then they’re giggling, Evi trying to shove the creature away but there’s such fondness in their eyes, and just for a little while Betty allows herself to believe that everything is going to be okay.

[stubz]

'Tired. Hungry. Wannagohome. Wannasleepbutneedtodochores. Howmuchtimeisleft?WhatifIpulledthefirealarmtogohomeearly?Capwouldn'tbethatmad-' the human's mind whirled as hunger and exhaustion took over all her senses. Being tired was something Kim was used to but hunger is always hard to ignore. Why did she choose sleeping in over packing a lunch???

Although tired and borderline ravenous with hunger the human diligently watched the younglings as they played in the park. Every part of her still functioning brain was doing it's best to focus on the children's movements and surroundings.

Look out for suspicious individuals, look out for any child doing something stupid, head count, look out for any parents coming to pick up, repeat.

'Maxcomedistractme. Kidsdistractme. NononoI'llsnapatthemfromhanger. Hangertoodangerousrightnow. Sohungrysohungrysofu-'

"Miss Kim look at my pet!" smiled Athea bringing over what looked like a giant wolf boar thing. Some of the other little ones came with her and Kim could see Fenrir walking over with a warm smile.

"They're so big and fluffy! What's their name?" Kim smiled doing her best to keep down the hanger.

While the little orc talked all about her pet the human couldn't help but have her mind drift off. Nods and hums of approval was all the human could say without fear of giving into the hanger. The wolf boar thing's fur was all that kept the human grounded, petting it like it held the secrets to the universe in its fur...god she was hungry.

"-here's a treat miss Kim!" a large cracker like object is placed into the human's hand. A treat. Food.

She eats it in one bite without even looking at it.

It's salty, meaty, crunchy, a little stale, but not bad. Texture is strange though for a cracker or maybe its a biscuit, either way the hanger is now manageable enough for her to talk.

"Mm, what is this? Biscuit-gmph?!" Fenrir grabs her by the face and shoves his hand into her mouth.

"SPIT IT OUT! SPIT IT OUT KIM!!!" the orc yells sweeping through her mouth like a full of rage dentist.

"SHE ALREADY ATE IT UNCLE!" screams Athea already behind the human ready to do the Heimlich.

"Oh my god-WHAT DID SHE EAT THIS TIME?!" shouts Max drawn in by the commotion.

'what the f#ck did I eat???' is all that goes through the poor human's head.

.

After nearly making her throw up via the spine crushing heimlich Athea performed, some more rummaging through her mouth and gums, and some human/orc diet comparisons Kim was finally declared in the clear by a nurse who was going for a walk in the park.

Said human was now hunched over holding her stomach from her new bruises. And sipping a juice box so generously given to her by one of the younglings who wanted to cheer her up after the whole ordeal.

"I am so sorry love I should have asked you if humans could eat boglin liver...or the equivalent of it like your pig." the orc apologized rubbing her back soothingly.

"Not your fault Fen, it's this idiot's fault for not asking what she's eating." frowned Max. "Seriously, how did you not even bother to look at it? If you did then you'd see that it looks like a dog treat and that would've stopped you." he scolds handing her a granola bar.

"I've been classically conditioned!"

"...what?? By who??"

"My dad! So blame him!"

"...what is classically conditioned and why did your father do it to you love?"

"Basically you train a person or animal to do something. You say a word or make a noise as they do something then give them a reward, usually food, and eventually after a long enough time each time they hear the thing they'll just do the action. Like teaching a pet commands."

"...your father treated you like a pet?!" roars the enraged orc.

"Nonono! My dad loves me! He just called everything I liked a treat! Chocolate milk, treat, pineapple, treat, favorite dinner, treat!"

"...oh so when Athea said 'here's a treat' you thought it was food you would like?" Max asked.

"Exactly! See? My dad loves me, like a person!" Kim assured her very angry giant orc.

"...I understand...but please have less blind trust in the word 'treat' as not everything is safe for humans to eat." he sighs giving her a hug.

"Honestly she'd probably be fine no matter what. She's a raccoon."

"I...cannot argue against that."

"I do not know what that is but I will assume that it is a creature that eats hazardous things and garbage. Much like you my little love."

"Again I cannot argue against that."

[barkbre]

brat tamer chris who’s playing video games w his gf while smoking and you two have been passing the joint the whole time

ur on a win-streak and rubbing it in his face and he’s starting to get fed up and decides to get back at you by getting u cross-faded n waiting until it hits u like a truck

This.. this is LONG... LMAOO LIKE HIS DI- swapping this to crush instead of gf bcus.. listenn... the tension of high chris being ballsy with his crush has me in a chokehold!

Super smash bro's is a game chris prided himself in.....

and you're fucking DESTROYING chris right now- giggling and criss crossed next to him on the floor- his frustrated groans and continued hits of his joint fueling your laughter and ego.

and also. the room is so hot from smoking and sharing a beer.. and you're practically rubbing up on him like an animal would for affections and chris is very close to losing his shit.

after this round he sets the controller down and glares at you with a bitter laugh.

"You're a brat, y'know that?"

"Mmhm.. i do.. but being a brat is fun!"

"For you maybe!"

"Aw what? you dont like sassy?"

"Oh trust me i do- j-..just- you're a little bully."

"Ohh.. ohh pooorr chhrrriiisss... roll another joint for us because you love me soo much?"

"Groan. Whatever your highness wants i guess"

"Mm i like that nickname keep it up"

"Sure thing, Brat."

The flirting banter between you growinv much more.. intense while high... you feel warm in spots you maybe shouldnt about your best friends best friend.. josh would be hurrling over the balcony and whining on why you havent fucked yet.

you look over at the wrong time and Chris makes eye contact while licking the paper to stick- god.. that.. whoa.

His eyes glassy and red- lowered and heavy.. sexy so so sexy to look at.. are you staring?

"You're staring.. its not polite to stare you know?"

"Mm.. well why are you giving me hungry eyes like that huh?"

"No clue what you mean.. i'm just high.. my eyes just do that"

"Uh-huh... sure thing.. pass me that"

Its been about 20-30 mins and you've literally chunked through 2/4th of this joint and it suddenly hits you. HARD

and you.. notice how much closer Chris is.. and hes staring with a big grin.. is.. is this happening? maybe youre too high..

"Hey, Hon.. you alright over there?"

"Mm...mmmm...mhm..."

"Yeah? Pretty thing all doped up?"

"Shhhutup... stop.. you... are being.. mean.."

"Mmhm.. soo mean, baby."

and suddenly.. you've found yourself placed splayed out on your nice comfy bed.. and theres cold hands cooling your torso and your head is spinning when you look up and see Chris's large frame hovering over you

"Sweetness.. is this okay? the cold feel good?"

"Mm!- mhm... y..yeah..."

"Want more?"

"Please-please.."

"Oh so polite now..."

You find yourself almost fully naked now, Chris still fully dressed you whine, feeling the unfair power difference

"MmChrisss... clothes.."

"Hm? Nono, sweetie.. im keeping mine on.. you're too warm im just helping you cool down.."

"N-no y-you're being.. mean.. t'me.."

"Mm am i?"

"Yes.."

"You seem to like it.. a little squirmy there arent you?"

and now his hands are groping your chest and hips and throat and you're heaving and breathlessly moaning and gasping- the touch so elevated and intense now that youre high makes you sensitive.

And Chris has a stupid grin on his face. he can't stop smiling at how broken you look, his plan worked and he needs more of your pathetic persona...

You're shaking. Clawing his broad shoulders. Legs drapped over his shoulders while he presses your thighs into your chest, eyes rolling back with every thrust.

So dumbed out by Chris and the pot that yours shivering and your moans are airy and stupid sounding.

"F-fuckyes.. yeah... taking it so good."

"M-mm!-mmph!"

"Cant even.. ahh..hah... cant.. even function?"

"Mmah! ahh! ahfuck!.. d..deep!"

"Mm i know.. i know, baby.."

Soon his hands are around your throat holding you down into the bed while he fucks you deeper into such a submissive and relaxed state your body just gives into whatever Chris does. and he notices you cant keep your legs open from being soo fucked out and stoned he easily manhandles you into laying down on your tummy.. sliding his fat cock into your softened, wet, sticky core.

Chris's big hand in your hair yanking your head back while it's limp- finding ease in holding and pulling you where he wants you.

"goodah!- mm!- you're so fucking! pretty like this.."

"Mmm!-"

"You okay?"

He slowly stops to lean down and kiss your sweaty, soft face, waiting for any type of reply

"M-yeah- ple-please.. need.. you.."

"Yeah? you know you can tell me to stop whenever, right?"

"Yeah!- t-trust you, Chris.."

"Good.. good...want me to continue?"

"Mmhm.."

Safe to say.. you guys fucked the high out of eachother and fell asleep with the sounds of Super Smash Bros loading screen.

[bubblergoespop]

My Top Aaron Quotes

men who are just constantly tired of everything>>>>>

“Well buckle up, wiz kid.”

“So yeah, I am gonna miss you. I’m really gonna miss you.”

“Sue me. Except don’t. My brain is already fried from the financials, I don’t need to throw legalese on top of that.”

“Fuck it. There’s nothing in here I can’t replace. I want you."

“Oliver”

“I didn’t say I wanted to spend the day with you, I asked if you wanted to spend the day with me. I asked first.”

"Ell"

“Hey, stop it. Because you know how much I like you running your fingers through my hair. Makes my brain go all fuzzy.”

“I appreciate it. And you.”

“Oh, it’s not playing dirty. It’s just me making you feel good.”

“I didn’t realise I was apparently dating an anthropomorphic backpack.”

“H-hey—stop it. You—no, your kisses are just… it tickled. Shut up. So what if my sides are ticklish, it’s not like that’s weird, you shit.”

“Oh, and now you can’t even find the strength to lift your head out of my lap, hmm? You poor thing. Who knew that being lazy could be so exhausting?”

“I love you very much. Now get off me.”

“You talked a big talk back then. But it turns out you’re just a cuddle-hungry softy after all, huh? Yes you are. At least when you’re still sleepy, anyway.”

“I also know you’re probably the kind to fly off half-cocked and make me chase you down with the SPF 50 like a madman. If for no other reason than to infuriate me.”

“Come here. Come closer. Because I said so.”

“I love you. And I love rain. And I love being with the person I love while it rains. Isn’t that a fun little combo?”

“You are very cute looking up at me like that.”

“Or is the thought of a few more minutes in my arms that much of an imposition? Asshole. Mmm. I love you too.”

“I can’t even try to say a nice thing without you having to get some snark into it, can I? No, I wouldn’t have it any other way. You brat. I love you just as you are.”

“You make me better. And that’s no small order when you’re talking about me, given the high level I already started at.”

“A man’s gotta eat. And you’ve always been my favorite thing on the menu.”

“Oh yes, you’re so put upon. Your evil boyfriend only makes you a whole breakfast spread, he won’t then also let you sleep in even later than you already have.”

“Eli”

“Yes, in a shocking twist, I do find your absence unpleasant. Perish the thought, right?”

“Time spent with the people I care about is important to me. It doesn’t have to be time doing anything special, it doesn’t have to be conversations about our future or some greater purpose or any of that shit, I just want to be with the person that I’m with.”

“Sure, there are plenty of ways to sleep on a couch just fine. It’s your hybrid approach that lands somewhere between gymnast and pretzel that tends to get you in trouble.”

“You’re okay. It’s gonna be okay.”

“If it feels like it's coming on again, come tell us, okay?”

“I only met them a handful of times. They're sweet. They laugh a lot. They spent most of the time giving Elliott shit, it was funny. Not in like a mean way, like the way you do when you love somebody that much. They were a good balance for one another.”

“God I sound old. And I feel old. And I’m not, but it feels like it. A grumpy old man. Might as well start yelling at kids to not play so loud in the neighborhood, really complete the image.”

“Stop calling me an old man, only I’m allowed to call me old. Don’t be mean. I’m in a vulnerable state. I need baseless praise.”

“Yes. Holding you feels very productive.”

“Yeah. Let me just rub it on that pretty face for a little bit…”

“ It’d be fine. Almost as fine as you. I’m tired, I’m allowed to be stupid.”

“El, I have never hated you. You’re my little brother, I love you.”

“No the windows are mirrored glass. You should know that, you worked here.”

“Whose is it? Louder”

“Thank you baby. Yeah, thank you for trusting me like you do. […] All I wanna do is prove myself worthy of that trust.”

[oddaesthetin]

drunk, awkward, in love — han hyeongjun

“you’re my dream girl” fluff

—

it was stupid. both of you knew it was stupid, but the two of you also knew nobody would ever attempt to stop you. stupidly weird things like this were simply just your thing. everybody knew that.

hyeongjun had just come back from tour, and you from a family trip. it was an intrusive idea that both of you decided to do anyway—buy different brands of beer from wherever place you two got back from and taste test all of them. it was all his idea, but you weren’t gonna say no, so, really, who cares? gunil.

now, here’s the two of you, drunkenly half-laughing, half-trying to keep the vomit from coming out of your mouths, in your apartment, at exactly 2am. the apartment’s a mess. some throw pillows in the kitchen, a bean bag on the coffee table, the tv playing lovable by kim jongkook, and, for reasons unknown, a printed photo of jooyeon’s face on the wall.

you stopped laughing and immediately sat down as soon as you felt the need to hurl again. hyeongjun, while extremely concerned, is still laughing. with claps and pointy fingers and all that. you did that to him earlier, too, so that’s what you get.

“hanging in there?”

“yes.”

is what you were going to say if you didn’t just gallop your way into the bathroom to barf. the laughing stops, and for a moment, you thought it was just hyeongjun being considerate—until you heard a loud thud. you exit the bathroom after you’re done fixing yourself, only to find your boyfriend lying dead drunk in the middle of your living room. with no spare energy, you quietly walked and lay down next to him, staring at the ceiling for a good five minutes before he was crawling his way over to rest his head on your stomach.

“did you have fun?” he asked quietly.

you hummed and played with his hair. “honestly wouldn’t ask for anything better. i’d do this again, even with the puking part.”

you heard him laugh. “i’m glad. i enjoyed it, too.” though almost soundless, he felt you reply with a hum again. not too long after, he continued. “we should probably clean your place up.”

“wha—? that’s what you’re worried about? i thought you’d be more concerned about the beers we have left.” you pointed to the three unopened beers and chicken leftovers on the floor. “i know i am, i mean, not to sound alcoholic.”

he laughed again, his head shaking on your stomach. “well, i am, too! but i thought you were already drunk.”

“no i’m not. i’m just resting. all the puking got me hungry again,” you said with a hint of defensiveness. “you’re the one i’m worried about. are you sure you don’t have to come to practice tomorrow?”

you felt him shake his head. “it’s rest day.”

then it got quiet. another five minutes was spent staring at the ceiling until you got bored and took a peek at your boyfriend’s face. his eyes are closed, but if it weren’t for the small smile on his lips, you would’ve assumed he fell asleep already.

“what are you thinking? don’t think too deeply. that’s the kind of thing old people do when they’re already drunk. we’re obviously not.” the last statement you said so flatly.

“i was just thinking about how you’re my dream girl.” he said it so casually. too casual, actually, as if he was embarrassed to say it. it didn’t help that he got up too quickly after that and went to the beers. you remained lying down, trying to process what you just heard. it was one of the rare moments where you didn’t know how to play it cool. hyeongjun rarely conveyed his feelings this directly, and now you were torn between reciprocating the thought or changing the topic so he wouldn’t keep feeling embarrassed.

thankfully, you didn’t have to decide.

“you’re so red all over, oh my god,” your boyfriend said, giggling.

you felt the heat rise up to your face once more. you reached for the nearest throw pillow and threw it at him, which he easily caught. “shut up. you caught me off-guard. what was that anyway? i hope you didn’t just say that cause you’re drunk.”

he chuckled, a beer now in his hand. he lied down once again next to you and offered the can he was holding in the other. with you probably too shy to even look at him, you couldn’t see the soft expression his eyes bore.

“i wouldn’t just say it.” with the usual unsure expression gone, he said it softly but surely. “i don’t know…it just felt like something i needed to tell you.”

you playfully kicked one of his feet. “and you decided the perfect time was right after we drank enough to wreck the apartment?”

“well, timing isn’t my strong suit either!”

you both giggled. a second later, you sat up. “i’ve always had a crush on you, too.” you looked at him, resting your chin on your hand. still feeling warmth spreading through your chest, you gave him a smile. “i don’t mind where or when you say it. i like it when you’re random and honest, even if we’re surrounded by chicken bones and vomit… i’d call you perfect, too.”

the two of you laughed again in unison. “ahh, i also appreciate how you make saying these things easy.”

surrounded by the ridiculous chaos of the night, a quiet understanding settled between you. you both had this unspoken connection for so long, filled with small moments of shared laughter, knowing looks, and quiet comfort. but tonight felt a little bit different.

as he watched you fidget with the throw pillow, trying to play off your own reaction, he felt a quiet relief. as per usual, he knew you’d understand him even when he didn’t know how to explain himself.

he glanced over at you again, his gaze softening as he took in the way you rested your chin on your hand, giving him that playful, affectionate smile. he shifted closer, his hand finding yours and giving it a gentle squeeze, as if to say everything he hadn’t yet figured out how to put into words.

the apartment was still a mess, and neither of you was exactly sober, but none of that mattered. here, in this simple, unpolished moment, he felt more certain than he ever had.

loving wasn’t always about grand gestures or perfect timing for the both of you. sometimes, they’re just these messy, awkward, and absolutely stupid moment that makes your relationship perfect. and you thank the stars that both of you had the same understanding of that.

—

© oddaesthetin 2024

[satcrvz]

CHAPTER SIX: EMOTIONAL SUPPORT DOG

navi

"what do i wear?" you ask holding up two sweatshirts that nearly looked identical.

nobara huffs before responding, "please just pick one, they look the same babe"

"i can't! am i overthinking? i'm definitely overthinking". you decide to go with the sweatshirt you were holding in your right hand. nobara calls out to you from her room, "he's literally seen you at your worst!"

you assume that she's referring to when you first saw him, when you found out that he existed. that wasn't my worst moment i was cute for a girl in pajamas.

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦

you and yuuji are almost to your destination, "you know you sounded like rapunzel asking to see the lanterns when you asked me to drive you"

"oh my god shut up i did not" you say in between giggles. he makes the final turn and there you are, yuta's house.

"oh you're just going to drop me off on the curb like i'm a whore" you say while unbuckling your seatbelt.

only his left hand is on the steering wheel and his head turns very slowly to look at you, "you want me to walk you to the door like i'm dropping you off for a playdate?"

"yeah kinda," you pause to open your door and hop out "it'd be rude if you didn't stop and say hi". the minute you heard him sigh, you knew you'd won.

you greeting yuta was a blur, you can't even remember what stupid shit you did because of your nerves. all you remember was a holy shit you muttered when you saw the entry way, to call it nice was an understatement.

currently, you were sitting criss crossed on the floor with yuta to the left of you. "so wait, you have all the games?"

"yeah! you could play the resident evil 4 remake since it's still kind of trending?" he stares at you and there's a short moment of silence before he continues, "only if you want to though, you'll have the controller, not me".

you give him a reassuring smile, "yeah that's fine! beware I am going to die though". he laughs and you swear its the cutest thing you've ever heard "it's okay, i can walk you through it" shutupshutup oh my god i'm going to scream.

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦

"wait why are they jumping him. just make friends with them duh”

“yn, you have to fight back” the stress was very adamant in his tone. "i can't. i wasn't paying attention when they gave instructions. . ." you glance over to the chat to see a mix of yours and yuta's fans laughing at you.

he reaches over to grab the controller from your hands, but not without "accidentally" ghosting over both of your hands holding the controller.

you watched the screen and took an occasional glance at the stream. you figured you should probably figure out what buttons he's pressing, so you look down at his hands which were actually quite nice. no dirt under them, hang nails, or anything else, it almost made you forget why you looked over at them.

"there", he says while handing the controller back to you. "dude where the fuck did you go?" you'd ended up in a completely different spot from where you initially were. "hey, i put you on the right path. you ran like, too far from where you were actually supposed to be"

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦

"okay guys! i think that's it for today my back is starting to hurt, and i'm sick of someone criticizing me" you're staring directly at the chat while you say this.

"i wasn't criticizing! i mean i was, but it was helpful" he continues, "this is our first time hanging out and you're already trying to get rid of me"

"whatever. anyways bye guys!" you say while ending the stream. you bring both hands up and behind your head to stretch

"i'm hungry, i think i'm going to text yuuji to come get me"

"you don't have to, i can take you back and stop and get something, if thats okay with you?"

teehee... do we like?

my brain was cooking but my fingers were not. do y'all fw ihop? i might make ihop the stop.

didn’t proofread this 😭

tags: @saesofficialwife @k4romis @soy-garbage @sakyira @dreamxiing @swissy23 @shnzies @captaincyberqueen @fantasycantasy @chuyasthighs0 @mixzimi @milza12 @nahoye @spookyrule @4phskingdom @sad-darksoul @morgyyyyyy @smashingdollz @bubbles-the-ghost @lunavixia @gaychaosgremlin @jayathelostdragon

[chrysoula]

Albedo spent sixty years rescuing Nahida from her cage, because he was looking for a challenge to test himself against. He didn't spend much time thinking about how, after the rush of satisfaction had faded, he would be in possession of a newborn god of wisdom who was so lost she tried to go back into her cage.

"Why are you here?" she asked, puzzled, as soon as the door to her cage opened. "There's so much-- You did so much, so why are you here?"

He stared at her as all of his sense of accomplishment washed away.

She began to gabble. "I knew something was happening, I could see your echoes, the ripples like a fish underwater, and I didn't know what you could want but I helped you when I could, because I wanted to see them beaten so why are you here?"

Because this is the finish line. But he knew better than to say that. Instead, he ran a rapid post-mortem on his plans over the last sixty years. When had the flaw been introduced, and how could he compensate for it?

"Okay," she said into the silence. "Now what?" Her eyes reminded him of glass marbles.

"I don't know what you want me to do," she said bitterly after a moment. "There's nothing I can do."

It was a worldview alien to Albedo. Ever since his mother abandoned him, he'd practiced turning his knowledge into power over the world around him. Before they called him a mastermind, they called him a meddler, and usually he didn't bother tidying up when he was done. 

"Oh. I see," she said, drawing her own conclusion and dropping her gaze. "You didn't come for me after all. How stupid I am." 

And even then, he struggled. He could see the potential shapes of the consequence he'd created and he didn't like them. He'd done something terrible and he had to repair it, but how--??

Tears began to spill from those green eyes. "I'm sorry, I'm just not good enough yet. I shouldn't... I shouldn't get involved." And, wiping her eyes, she'd turned to step back into the cage.

That, at least, he could respond to. "No, don't do that. It would only make things worse."

"What?" She half-turned, her mouth open in surprise.

"Would you like something to eat or drink?" That was probably a safe thing to ask in the situation. The government imprisoning her had been thoroughly disabled that morning. And newborns were often hungry.

"What?" she repeated, and then ran over to him. "Did you change your mind?"

Pleasantly, he said, "I think you did, but that's not an important detail at the moment. Why don't we sit down and talk about a few things?"

She promptly sat down, looking up at him with clear curiosity. He sat down on the ground too, refining his evaluation of her. "First of all, do you have a name of your own? One that doesn't belong to the Archon?"

"Nahida," she said, possibly for the first time. She looked a little surprised, in any case.

"I'm happy to meet you, Nahida. My name is Albedo." He gave her a friendly smile, and she stared at him like she was decoding his face. "Let's try to figure out what you'd like to do now."

"May I ask a question first?" She spoke with a respectfulness he didn't deserve. Not from her, anyhow. He'd have to earn it first.

"Please do. I'll do my best to answer it." While she formulated her thoughts, he began to synthesize some fish snacks he hoped she'd find palatable.

"Beyond your name, who are you?" It was a question carefully considered, and not the one he expected. But her earnest gaze remained fixed on him.

He considered his own response. It wasn't a question he was in the habit of answering. "Mostly, I plan things for other people. I'm quite clever and I've lived a long time compared to most, so I have certain advantages I enjoy sharing. In quite a few places, I'm considered a criminal, because what I help people do is often illegal. " He offered her the fish snacks. "I also engage in projects of my own, like this one."

She accepted one and nibbled on it. He observed as her eyes widened and she nibbled a bit more before finally making a face and putting it down. "I don't know how to taste it right. I'll work on it later."

"Is that what you want to do?" He saw this as a natural way of leading back to the core topic, but when she flinched, admitted to himself that such directness might have been a little cruel after already thrusting so much change on her unannounced.

"Do you think it tastes good?" she asked him uncertainly.

"Yes, I do."

She thought for a moment. "I'd like to learn to like it too, then. And I want to stay with you, please."

Did gods imprint? He'd never looked into the question. But the truth remained: she might be the god of wisdom, but she was also a powerful and traumatized child. If he walked away now, one way or another, she'd show up in his life again, the worse for it.

Calmly, he said, "Yes, I thought you might say that. Do you also want to rule Sumeru?"

She shrugged, curled up in a ball, rocked back and forth. "Sumeru is a dream to me, a world on the other side of pages and glass." Then she sat up again. "But you are somebody I never imagined existed. That seems more interesting than governing a country that doesn't want me to exist, all by myself."

"I agree," he said. "Still, having Sumeru on a stable footing may be useful in the future, so we should probably sort out the knot I made before we go on our way."

[melefim]

Swearing in Dead Boy Detectives: Episode 8- The Case of the Hungry Snake

Episode Overview:

58 total, 12 different words said by 12 characters.

Charles: 1 Bloody Hell

Crystal: 5 Fuck, 5 Shit, 2 Bitch, 7 God. 1 Jesus, 1 Prick

Jenny: 10 Fuck, 1 Shit, 1 Ass, 1 God, 1 Jesus, 1 Screw

Niko: 2 God

Esther: 3 Fuck, 4 God, 1 Screw

Cat King: 1 Fuck, 1 Dick

Kingham: 3 Fuck

Girl in Memory 1 (Cheating BF): 1 Damn

Crystal's Mom: 1 Damn

Crystal's Dad: 1 Jesus

Girl in Memory 2 (Club Fight): 1 Fuck, 1 Slut

Girl in Memory 3 (Traffic): 1 God

Curses Per Character:

Charles: 1

Crystal: 21

Jenny: 15

Niko: 2

Esther: 8

Cat King: 2

Kingham: 3

Girl in Memory 1 (Cheating BF): 1

Crystal's Mom: 1

Crystal's Dad: 1

Girl in Memory 2 (Club Fight): 2

Girl in Memory 3 (Traffic): 1

Uses Per Word:

Fuck: 23

Shit: 6

Bitch: 2

Ass: 1

Damn: 2

Bloody Hell: 1

God: 15

Jesus: 3

Dick: 1

Prick: 1

Slut: 1

Screw: 2

Lines:

Girl in Memory 1 (Cheating BF): Why are you being so goddamn mean?

Crystal: Am I ever wrong about this shit?

Crystal: My parents won't say shit, they don't even--

Crystal: Jesus Christ! You guys scared me.

Crystal: God, it's like being punched in the face and the stomach.

Crystal: Yeah, well blame my parents. Holy shit!

Esther: God, you're nosy.

Crystal: Mom? Oh my God. Mom is that--

Crystal’s Mom: They're wasting our goddamn time, Seth, go tell him!

Crystal’s Dad: This is Art, for Christ’s sake!

Girl in Memory 2 (Club Fight): Get your fucking hands off my boyfriend, you slut!

Girl in Memory 3 (Traffic): Oh my God, did you guys hear? James got hit by a car.

Crystal: Maybe karma is just a bitch.

Crystal: Oh, my God. Oh, I'm a fucking awful person. Oh, God, I'm the worst.

Crystal: God, I was a bad person before him.

Crystal: Because if you did, God, you'd hate me.

Jenny: What the actual fuck?

Jenny: And why the ever-loving fuck is my hair braided?

Jenny: Fuck that! That is bullshit!

Jenny: No fucking way.

Kingham: "No fucking way" to you. "No fucking way" to that side braid. What the fuck is that?"

Jenny: Fucking fuck!

Jenny: Screw it. I'd rather know my own life, no matter how fucked up.

Jenny: Jesus, fuck!

Crystal: Oh my God, Jenny are you OK?

Crystal: Shit (digging Niko out of rubble)

Niko: Oh my God. Am I dead?

Niko: Oh my God. Is that why the magic eight ball kept saying "outlook not so good"?

Jenny: Esther's a witch? I thought she was just an asshole.

Crystal: Fuck! (Realizes Esther has the boys)

Jenny: I figure a meat cleaver can cut up a witch, but what the fuck do I know anymore?

Crystal: Because whatever fucked-up little thing you have going on with Edwin, you must care about him a little.

Cat King: So was her wayward husband. A real swinging dick.

Cat King: Fuck me. Did you even listen to my story?

Crystal: She probably put a, like, kill-you-instantly spell or some witchy shit on the door.

Esther: Don't ever trust a goddess to grant your wishes, because she'll definitely screw you over good.

Esther: Oh, God! Oh, God, no, my face… Is fine.

Esther: Oh my God, my own sacrificial knife? I'm impressed. But I'm not fucking around that you're also gonna patch that wall before you die too.

Crystal: I am so sorry he was a colossal prick.

Esther: Who the fuck are you?

Esther: What the fuck? Hey hey hey no! What did you just do?

Crystal: Hubris is a bitch, am I right?

Jenny: God, that sounds so fucking procedural.

Crystal: I don't have to give up my new fucked-up life while I'm trying to sort out my old fucked-up life.

Charles: Oh, bloody hell. And you're always just popping up. Where do you even come from?

Notes:

Previously on Dead Boy Detectives…

Shown in this episode’s recap but not counted above:

David: I can’t, you stupid bitch! (Episode 7)

Bonus:

Esther: Oh, shoot. Or as the French say, merde.

‘Merde’ is French for ‘shit’

Updates:

-Added ‘slut’, updating charts and counts.

-Added bonus quote from Esther

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

More Dead Boy Detectives Swearing Posts:

Masterlist

Swearing by Episode

Swearing by Character

Swearing by Word

All Swearing Posts

And if you like lists of things like I do, you can check out my other Dead Boy Detectives ones here!

When Charles’ Shirt Colors Change

George Rextrew’s Edwin comic inspo board

Full soundtrack with timestamps

Moves, Incidents, and Cases Masterlist

First pass at finding where the songs in the score are used- full post with timestamps in progress