#and hers is nice so again not even mad | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

killjoy-prince · 7 months ago

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Blind box mini haul from Saturday

#prince's talk tag #my friend took me to Ebisu and we got a bunch of blind boxes #i stuck with the vocaloid stuff bc ofc i did #the ones in the first pic i had wanted for a week or so now since i saw a post about them #pretty happy i got the gen 1 peeps tbh since i never get them #and then i got another wonderland blind box and pulled queen of hearts!meiko from it #and hers is nice so again not even mad #the len button came from the gachapon machines they had and i find it funny that i got my son again lolol #(bc i have his wonderland figure too from last time. hes the white rabbit)#part of me wants to go back next time im free and try to get luka from both boxes bc she looked great in both of them #also theres a Japanese festival happening every Saturday in the city and i want takoyaki so even more of a reason #cant go this weekend bc im busy

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hellogoodbyeitsme · 1 month ago

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Broke: Damian is bad at being a Robin because he's too violent

Woke: Damian is bad at being a Robin because he's afraid to hurt people

#obviously it's always funny to do the whole 'what do u have there Damian?' 'a knife!' 'nO' thing #and like make him a horrendous and silly evil gremlin who can and will pull a sword out in the middle of a parking lot to fight #but listen #he doesn't like the assassin background that much and once he learns about like The Normal World he's honestly in anguish about it #that's canon! that's the truth! (right?) (the whole thing with Goliath?? I'm not making it up right???)#i think he's just the kind of guy who loves his swords because they're what he knows and they're a strong connection to his family #but I think it's nice if he spends his time on field telling others what to do because everyone else learned to fight the OTHER way #(by defending and subduing opponents rather than maiming and killing)#so he prefers to take on a tactician general role despite being perfectly capable as a fighter because he knows what everyone else needs #to do to succeed in fights - especially when things are a bit of a mess - but is afraid to be too rough or scary or violent or Demon Son-is #(the things that make him feel like he doesn't belong in a happy civilian world - WHICH IS WHAT HE WANTS IN MY HUMBLE OPINION.)#in this essay I will explain why this allows for him to show awe and love for each of his siblings' fight styles by utilising all of them #and I just think Dami Babs and Tim could really work together as a detective/tactician comms team (with varying distances from the field)#because I think that'd be so fun: Tim is solving (mid-range) Babs is watching/providing supports (far) and Damian is commanding (close)#because the others are like The Bruisers (in their non-lethal way) who trust themselves to only hurt as much as is needed and are good at i #PLUS babs is SO stretched thin and literally the backbone of the bats so I just want a future where some of the kids become HER robins yk #anyway back to the point of the post:#it's kind of alluded to in 2017 supersons; EVERYONE in it comments on how Robin is JUST doing flips and shouting orders #and jon is like The Muscle and the one Doing Stuff - but Jon IS following orders 85% of the time and it works out well for them because #that dynamic of 'I'm not sure I can do it right by myself and I trust you to be my partner so we can do it right together' really #is my favourite like.. they're both filling these ideas of who they're meant to be and they just :( they just seek their own path together #oh no I lost the point again immediately and it became another WHY DO THEY SEPARATE THEM rant #I just think it's really fun to think of Damian as 'the most well trained fighter but ALSO the most likely to step back from a fight'#like yeah when we add in my thoughts on pit rage it adds some angst but that doesn't matter here in THIS post #have I even talked about my hc on pit rage/madness? I don't think I have LMAO (maybe another day)#anyway it's late I'm tired why do I always chat in the tags so much #my posts are literally all in the tags 2% post 98% tags smh #damian wayne #damian al ghul #damian al ghul wayne

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carouselunique · 4 months ago

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Is it true that there's no animosity between you and... you know, you know who. You never talk about her in any way. I guess I'm curious. You guys seemed like really close friends and then just weren't friends at all. And there was some stuff she said that seemed very targeted at you...

I don't know if she feels any animosity toward me or not any more. Our mutual friends have said she doesn't and I take them on their word in that regard, assuming that if they have an answer for me it's because they're aware how she feels. I wouldn't know and it's not my place to put words in her mouth.

I haven't spoken to her/about her in a long time and the only time she even crosses my mind is when people bring her up to me. As for me feeling any animosity? I'll admit my feelings on her these days are complicated and way too nuance-core for people who aren't my friends to hear about but I wouldn't call them animosity in any way. I inherently want people my friends care about to live well because I care about my friends, and anyone my friends care about by proxy and I still share friends with her. I would never wish ill on people my friends care about so animosity doesn't fit into that by definition. I'd say I'm hurt more than anything and even then I've worked through a lot of it with trusted friends who have helped me deal with my emotions in a healthy way.

(Besides, my own life struggles keep me from even being able to invest time into animosity. I have to expend that energy loving my family, doing my best to support them during our struggles. And I've never been a hateful person it isn't in me. I would rather play 'Hot To Go' by Chappell Roan and teach my dad how to do the hand gestures to help him strengthen his muscles again than focus on hating anyone...)

I try not to think about her because it hurts. I often think that people forget that I'm a real person outside of her sphere, and that I wouldn't want to talk about what happened because I truly did consider her a friend for a long time. And when someone I consider a friend appears to not regard me with care any more suddenly and I don't even have closure on that... well... it hurts... A lot. Of course I never talk about it.

And I'm not stupid, I have seen some stuff she's said that I've gathered was about me. I remind myself that she has a right to vent in her own spaces and I truly mean that... it's just a shame that her own spaces have people who then have taken these things to me to show me (after all, I wouldn't have even seen these things myself if not for third-party anons going 'this u?') saying it is my own fault because I was a terribly cruel friend or my own fault for not listening to warnings about her when I had the chance and that makes me a stupid gullible bitch. You lot haven't seen some of the awful shit about me from some of her more ravenous fans and haters I've seen over the years that I've had to let roll off my back in the fear it would bring backlash - not even to me, to her. I don't want to be the cause of any hatred going to anyone.

Also I'm just not going to ever talk about the details of our fallen friendship or our fallen relationship. That's private. She might be a public person to some extent but I never was, even if I do gain some measure of small fandom for my work one day I'm just private about personal matters especially raw ones. I almost deleted this ask entirely but Idk I never stated that it bothers me when people talk to me about her from my own mouth, so I guess that's what this ramble is.

If you send me anything about Lily Orchard it will not be addressed. I am not a part of her life not even through our mutual friends. I do not know or care what's going on with her public/personal life. I haven't kept up. I will never keep up. Don't treat me as an extension of the situation because I am not in the situation. In the most plainly stated sense of the word: Leave me the Hell alone. (...pretty please.)

All I've wanted this entire time was to be left alone to process everything in a healthy, peaceful way. I'm workin' on it.

#not art #I don't think I need a tag for asks of this nature since I'm never going to be speaking to any of this again #but it doesn't fit in with my normal asks so:#Mad as a Bag of Cats #There that's a specific tag to blacklist even though I'm not a personal drama ask answerer very often...#let's not even get into the slurs I received or the insulting things about my mother people have asked me about or the -#insulting and nasty insults about how I deserved to lose her as a friend or deserved to be hurt because I didn't listen #because if I vented how fucking shitty people who don't know me have treated me since the day I met her we'd be here all day #and let me be clear whatever else: Lily is not responsible for ANYONE being this way whether they defend or condemn her you all decided to #send those things and you know who you are - I've also seen people on both sides say to leave me alone #and genuinely for just that thank you this is genuinely some of the most distressing online experiences I've ever had #so please leave me alone.#about this subject I mean - if you wanna be nice and talk about my art or me I'm happy to engage #if you're nice to me this isn't for you #edit: even to the nice people who tried to send me well wishes now - If you send me anything about Lily Orchard it will not be addressed.#it just feeds the whole thing if I answer those too #you can send if you want to be nice I get that impulse but I won't be answering them

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moeblob · 8 months ago

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Deacon loves two things: Ymber and digging himself a grave.

Fulj hates one thing: Deacon.

#my characters #waiting on some info on the next commission so i indulged in ocs today bc i doubt i will have as much time for lil comics for a bit #deacon is so devoted hes like yeah i would kill for a deity that could easily kill anything himself but yknow teehee #and fulj just did you tell him you needed therapy also does he even know youd murder in his name #deacon caught red handed haha no of course i havent told him it should be obvious enough haha.... and its in his defense not his name :c #man really does have some issues but i love him so much and hes so devoted but like. unhealthily after a while #he does in fact need a chill pill and therapy but to be fair #ymber has needed therapy for centuries and yet he just bottles it all up and suffers so #its pretty unhealthy until they yell at each other one (1) time bc they are so insecure about things and get mad over very valid reasons #but then theyre like you know what that was necessary and i still want to stay by your side if you let me #and then fulj is like dude hey sorry you seem really happy did you fu- and ymber is like no please stop there we have not #fulj just squinting cause have not is very different than will not but whatever she doesnt wanna think about that with deacon involved ew #and eventually fulj is like hey ymber im sorry to say but i really do hate deacon and i dont even know why but he makes me uncomfortable #while deacon is just. in the room. hearing this and thinking how he knows she thinks hes weird but wow that wording hurts #and ymber doesnt wanna fill in memories better forgotten by fulj which she had forcefully removed #so he just says oh well his hair and clothing are black and you had someone in the past that you might see in him and its not a pleasant en #so you know maybe its that idk #and fulj is then WHATST i was rude to him for someone i cant even remember? lame im gonna try SO HARD to be nice to him now #and deacon just still sitting there with some food like this is v awkward and i wish i could not be here for it #and later he asks ymber about who he resembled and as ymber is descibing her it clicks in deacons head and he gets really sad #that he might somehow remind fulj of the woman she loved before she was punished for loving a mortal #and he feels kinda bad pestering her so much with his curiosities about deities and he kinda gets it #the fact hes close to ymber might remind her at the core that she was once that close with a mortal if not closer #anyway story time in the tags again #im so obsessed with these peeps and i have made them suffer so much but they do all end on a happy note #its still funny and nice to me that while fulj is creeped out by deacon and doesnt like talking to him #he still expresses the most emotions to her - he tries hard to remain serious around ymber and collected and obedient at all times #and when out and about with ymber he has to be intimidating and refuses smiling but fulj?? all sunshine and smiles and emotions easy to rea #and she is just that is so weird go away i hate you

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faaun · 5 months ago

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i feel rly sad and conflicted abt one of my best friends on earth but idk who to ask for advice bc i usually would have consulted her in this situation lmao

#shes cool and i dont want to lose her and i know Logically i love her but atm i feel so strange towards her #and idk what to do abt it bc i know in the past ive like...over-communicated a lot and over the last few yrs ive been trying to not do that #bc thats an anxious impulse i think .so like . self control #AND IMPORTANTLY . i may actually be the problem here ?? ok again i love her i dont want to lose her etc but basically ive noticed a pattern #which is that whenever she gets a bf/a man (even fwb) in her life she basically stops talking to me and the limited interactions we do have #become abt him. and while i support her it is acc too much. like we barely talked while she was w her ex bf until he became abusive and #then we talked a lottt like all our convos understandably were abt him . and then when they broke up we kept hanging out so i didnt rly see #the pattern there but still she seemed to centre men a lot in her life like sbe was excited to not date and find herself and then #immediately afterwards started seeing this other guy with whom shes basically in a relationship now #hes nice and all but like . HES ALL SHE TALKS ABT . actually we barely talk atp but when we do its abt him #she sends me reels sometimes but its all abt being jealous abt him etc . and shes bi but she said she doesnt like the idea of dating women #bc theyre scary . and i thought she was kidding in the ohhh women r so beautiful that theyre intimidating way but no she was being entirely #fr . she explained jts bc she was bullied by a girl in the past but like...bro ur ex bf literally abused you like surely you see men are #capable of just as much harm? but obvs who she dates is her own choice . but anyway she has consistently made plans w me then cancelled the #like an hr before . or asked to call me and then proceeded to not do so . when i ask her to meet/call its the same she just doesnt respond #or she cancels ? and while i understand anxiety sucks it feels SO WEIRD STILL . maybe im the problem slightly too bc ik i have no right to #feel this way but it rubs me the wrong way that ik she has so much time to spend w him/calls him all the time despite meeting him just a fe #months ago whereas i just have to like ...be ok w not actually having talked to her for a long time #its gotten to the point where when she says do you wanna meet/call i automatically respond yes and then just assume it doesnt happen . like #there have been several times over the past few months i double booked plans over when we were supposed to call/meet bc i was sure she #wouldnt show up and ive been right each time #like she sends me texts that she misses me or im her best friend etc etc occasionally and then acts rly . contrary to that ?#ive talked to her abt the issue w cancelling on me twice btw. when i was still dating the situationship person she would get sooo mad at #them for not respecting my time and shed tell me i deserve better etc etc and then like . she doesnt seem to respect my time at all #anyway she said she understand and she admits to like...being flaky etc but does nothing abt it #and its not like i can tell her to stop caring so much abt men bc we sorta had convos like that b4 she got This involved w this guy #and apparently it did nothing and the last thing i want is to police her relationships or get in her way #its just AUSHD AUGH #anyway i rly miss her it just doesnt feel the same at all anymore

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satsuha · 1 year ago

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i got so angry about the AB remaster i drew this

#maplestory #satsuhart #angelic buster #tear #sorry i have to go off about it bc i dont wnna make a separate post about it #im so angry about every single aspect of the new design and art holy shit #simplified all her patterns but added more colours to her main outfit resulting in a rly shitty colour palette #even got rid of her cute peach pink hair with yellow gradient for some bullshit pink/blue hair dye #the bows are drawn SO badly they look so cheap and the added colour looks terrible . her og outfit never even had pink #and dont even get me started on the weapon and the addition of hearts to her design HOLY SHIT im so mad #like before it very clearly had a fantasy 'idol... who Fights' vibe but now she just looks like any low budget jp idol #fkin ruined the look of her soul shooter i used to like the design so much now it looks like a knockoff kids toy that would shoot bubbles #WITH A HEART >!>?!??!?! im gonna kill something #im also so mad theyve fully rounded out her eyes and ADDED HEARTS?!?!?! like i really liked how she had sharp kinda dragony pupils #but thats all gone now SNZZ i can only hope they at least make adjustments to her outfit before release bc wow its terrible!#drawing her again after all these years made me re appreciate how nice her outfit is altho its not like i ever stopped thinking that.#it was always nice #shes cute without being overbearing about it but now its dialed up to 11 i hate it i hate it #everytime maple remasters an illust i lose a few years of my life like seriously they havent put out any nice remaster visuals since 2013 #(RED explorers and they werent even visual remasters in the general sense)#like WAH at this rate im gonna be so pissed off when they get to heroes remaster. theyre gonna butcher my boy and my girl and my #ok im stopping for now but rly. hope ppl are loud enough about their contempt for this bc it didnt work enough for explorers remaster #NOTMYANGELICBUSTER

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nekumiho · 5 months ago

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dont tag my art as kin/me/id/etc, no reposting or editing w/out permission

i love character (re)design

#jovi #pokemon #xd gale of darkness #like a year or two before scvi came out i finally got to start playing pokemon xd gale of darkness #and i got mad that jovi's design was so Blue when she had plusle AND minun so i recoloured her but #i slacked on drawing her frfr until now and now im TOO LATE #now everyone will look at her and go ''you just did penny scvi but like Again''#no i swear i prommy i did this design concept before i ever even saw penny i swearr I SWEAR..............#trying to decide if i deserve to put her on art fight or not bc shes less of an au character and more just. redesign. hmm #doodles #ill draw smth nice w her eventually but rn im just coping w my bad asthma by drawing blorbos yknow #anyway jovi invented being egogender imho

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kavennnn · 6 months ago

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coil ch

edit: tumblr stole half of my tags so i put a bad version of the second half of what i was trying to say in my notes :( sorry

#magic and mystery #m&m coil #this one was actually sweet tho #kinda mad that lockhart's getting any credit at all but what can ya do #i think i would be more destroyed if blaise actually killed him #hhow tf did he actually find the chamber tho???#like what could make you guess there???#i hope that gets answered #cant remember how he found out in the hp books either #think he followed them????? maybe???#but he took too long to have followed them in coil i think.. so idk #but it was an incredibly sweet ending #and i like that we got to see ginny's love for chaos form #if allegory writes another year then that year will be insane #especially w/ percy and pansy now in the gang too ??!!#man the gang is going #and again i predicted since early coil that by the end of coil pansy would join the gang #i believed in her #dad snape is back again and thank god too #obviously the pm is gonna mess w/ their relationship #but yk #him getting his name cleared and not being able to do anything abt it im happy but worried abt him going home #how are they even gonna end the year off??? will snape pomfrey and mcgonagall rlly let him go home #theyre gonna have too right??#also the diary is still in play and im concerned #but for now we have a ch ending on a nice note #ALSO I FINALLY GOT MY BLAISE POV ID BEEN CALLING FOR AWHILE NOW #surprised it took this long and that it didnt address things i thought it would #it was good and it made since for him to be thinking like that in the moment #but i rlly want him to atleast address pansy's arm getting broken eventually

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starlooove · 7 months ago

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Duke should have a chain with a lil bat on it and that’s all I can really say about fashion

#he got it from luke who made it for Jace #to me luke is like a handy sim #there’s no specific thing he’s centered on he can tinker with anything tbh #he does NOT thing jason should wear a red durag instead of that nasty ass hood so Duke can never give him a 10 #tiff demanded her own with her own customized r for Robin #she could’ve got one at those lil mall kiosks however she can use her custom made one as a birdarang. yes she needs new ones every night #it’s just too cool #if ur black u already know she’s got her own initial necklace in civilian life #uhm anyways #Duke is mad bc he got to Jace too light 💔#a few years ago Jace as Batman would’ve been extremely irresponsible and let Duke do whatever the hell he wanted #however after the accident he’s super strict now sad #Duke can’t even cuss around him before he’s yapping about proper communication in uniform #Duke asks tiff how she deals with it and tiff says it’s either this or working with those yt ppl again in Gotham and she’s good 👍🏾#if the batgirls are there she’ll pull up but she’s NAWT dealing with Bruce and em #the relationship between tiff and Damian I made up in my head 💔#‘I hate that bitch’ 5 min later ‘me and the bestieeee’#unrelated well slightly but thinking about luke lately and gritting my teeth at the tim parallels #maybe I’ll talk about it next month but I’ve been too nice to tim this year im sick

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nerdie-faerie · 6 months ago

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Seeing what presents my baby sister gets and realising I really drew the short straw by being the firstborn

#Demon Spawn #+Extras #tell me why this three year old got a pet budgie for her birthday? she cant even spell yet #none of my siblings have ever had personal pets i wasnt allowed a hamster when i was 12 and neither was anyone else but the 3 year old??#she got her own heat pool for her birthday as well and a barbie dream house taller than her for Christmas #and what did i get childhood trauma perfectionism a fear of failure and anxiety #my mum always goes over the top with the youngest girl it happened with my middle sister in that 5 year gap before my mum got pregnant again #i didnt even make it 2 before my mum was pregnant so i never really got to reap the rewards of being the youngest #the lil ones get spoiled to hell and they get a mum with a fully developed frontal lobe and chiller parents #being the oldest sucks there are no benefits to it only responsibilities #btw im not mad at my sister or whatever its nice for her that she gets to have these things #but what do you mean i got the shtty childhood parents and i still have to argue to be allowed to bare minimal at 23 when the 3 year old #gets special treatment that the rest of us wouldnt even bother asking for cus we dont have all the things that came before that point #my issue is that the preferential treatment she gets is useless to her. she didnt ask for a barbie dreamhouse and she cant even play with it #because shes too short whe doesnt need her own pool because she cant even swim yet she doesnt need her own tablet she cant read yet #she shouldnt have her own pet when she cant understand what it means to own a living creature #especially when we dont currently have any other pets in the house #my issue is that the spoiling doesnt even make sense for her age she cant enjoy it cus it doesnt make sense yet doesnt mean anything to her #my mum wants to spoil her cus shes her littlest girl but shes had 7 kids before this she knows whats age appropriate and this isnt

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isdalinarhot · 4 months ago

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None of the loved ones I know irl are sentimental in any way so it kinda sucks because I’ll think about “ooooh what if Dalinar got super injured and had to get medical attention but sadeas stuck by and was the first human Dalinar sees when he comes to >:)” and then I’ll think “nah Sadeas would never give a shit that much tbh” and then I’ll think “just like my parents pretty much every time I’ve almost died” and then I’ll think “:(“

#my mom finds no significance in graves and hasn’t ever visited her dads grave because of this #and it kind of pisses me off. I want her to visit my grave when im dead. you can’t even bother to. like. put flowers at the headstone of an #immediate family member? fuck off!#it would be really fucking nice if I could have ever visited my grandpa’s grave seeing as he was alive in my lifetime and all #but nooooooooo my mom doesn’t give a shit about the dead unless she’s fantasizing about getting a ghost visit from them :/#what was this post about again #drunkposting #luke.txt #purple dragon jungle juice #this post isn’t fair they cared when I was a baby 15 year old being Almost Dead for the first time and then no other times #I get it im not young and cute anymore so my death isn’t tragic anymore #AT MY GRANDPAS FUNERAL WE DIDNT EVEN GO TO THE ACTUAL BURIAL PART!!!‼︎ I WAS NOT PARTICULARLY CLOSE TO HIM BUT IT STILL MAKES ME MAD

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emulation-0 · 2 years ago

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it seems people are already upset that tsumiki is not nice anymore, sorry you dont know her like i do

#cmon. cmon. she has every right to be violent #idk if i trust gege to allow her to be angry (which she also has every right to be?? her life has constantly been people pushing her away #and forgetting about her and her constantly being nice) but if she was nice even now it would literally make zero sense #thats not character development. its not even giving her character. its just megumi's perspective being right that shes some kind of saint #which is sooooooo boring like why would she be nice. i think she should be tired of being nice. i think she should go apeshit. as a treat #and there was so much build up about the curse put on her. making it just some thing like oh shes a sorcerer but shes not gonna do anything #about it because shes so good IS SO BORING #and really it would be unrealistic if she didnt harbor at least some negative feelings i mean megumi was always kind of an asshole right up #until she got cursed and im assuming gojo didnt pay much attention to her as he did megumi. and her mom left her for some shitty dude #why would she not be mad?? just getting stuck being a little angel after all that just makes my skin crawl #and if megumi only really considered apologizing after she got cursed i doubt he really did a lot for her when she wasnt.#so i absolutely think she should be allowed to kill people it would be a disservice if she wasnt and was just again boiled down to the #saintly girl older sister image megumi seems to have of her. so boring #or maybe its just me being an angry sister who has to be nice. but i dont really think it is #tsumiki fushiguro #jjk 211 #jjk leaks #jjk spoilers #jjk #oh and before anyone misinterprets i know megumi had some psychology going on as a kid. doesnt mean tsumiki didnt either #or that she has to be so understanding all the time and not consider her own feelings. so boring. so shitty #it mightve sounded like a joking tone when i said she should go apeshit. but i was 100% serious #anyway yeah thats it #hanancouldyounot #hanancouldyoupost

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dungeons-and-dragon-age · 8 months ago

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forever mad about how dirty they did aveline from act 2 onward

#thinking way too much abt it rn cus i just finished her quest today #she is important to liam and i enjoy their relationship a lot & also her character in general in the earlier acts #but MAN i hate what they did to her in acts 2 and 3 #laya plays dragon age #feels like there is such a disconnect from her attitude between acts 1 and 2?#or well. maybe not disconnect exactly but even so there is an important shift there and we never even get to see it OR question it #she could have been such a good contribution to the story and the themes by putting her at a crossroads of #do i keep following what i know and become another cog in the system or do i challenge them and break out of it #cus like. in act 1 she is not above going against laws when her own morals (or even just biases) go against them #but is generally still in favor of ''regular'' law and order (which does get challenged by characters sometimes which is nice!)#(sort of) blind loyalty is already a fault of hers and now her loyalty is understandably mostly towards her guards #but then her companion quest is not in fact about herself but about frickin. courting the guy she likes???????#full on i thought this was a silly quest for levity in an act that has a lot of dark moments #but no it is Her Important Quest TM and not only does she not get with him if you dont do the quest #but her entire attitude and happiness going forward depends on it????? what the hell #also fun fact first time playing act 2 i thought that there was a lot going over my head and like #and some of it did yeah but i also just Assumed that bc the way aveline acted/ the guards actions were presented through her #didnt line up with what actually happened #(& her being so defensive and dismissive didnt line up with the impression i got of her before that)#sorry for the rant im just once again mad about cool characters being screwed over by the writing

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kethabali · 29 days ago

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i just remembered how my mom used to say its actually her religious right to treat her children however she wants and if we retaliate we would be completely at fault bc the parent should ALWAYS be treated with utmost respect

#she would say how the child has to respect their parents and bring them to church if they were to become a christian #as an example #how abusive #to tell children they should accept all behaviors towards them and never say anything or fight back #of course i argued with her but i internalized that #i still blame myself too much and am not as nice as i want to be towards myself for even the most minor things #bc she did that to me my whole life #belittled for everything at least and beat for it at worst #now it takes a lot of tries to not shame myself when something is comlpetely out of my control #bc according to her everything is my fault #if she spills water its my fault for distracting her #if she hits me for something my dad did then its his fault that she Had to beat me #no bro u decided to hit me thats YOUR choice #i hate them both so much for what they did to me #how they instilled guilt in me for trying to have boundaries and fighting for myself #i still am a people pleaser bc of that #its a raw very raw fear that if i displease someone they will hurt me #i have to remind myself over and over that someone being upset at my boundaries is not a reason for me to not have that boundary #if ur mad thats ur problem stay away from me then #i just will care too much about upsetting other people but its not my job to regulate everyone elses feelings #it makes me so mad #when theres something i need and am not getting and its bc im so scared of making people mad #even if they cant put their hands on me now #im sick of the paranoia and constant anxiety they have put in me #cant go outside without being scared they will pop up out of nowhere and try to ruin my life again #ivebeen living by myself for two years now and still so scared to even open my curtains sometimes #🧃#its disgusting to me how they think they own me #how they STILL think that any negative action i take towards them must be inspired by someone or something else #it could never be bc of their own abuse towards me

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nomairuins · 1 month ago

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sry my beef eith that pastor is unending i fucking hate that guy like ugh . he soent maybe 5 minutes talking abt the actual ppl who actually died and then spent 2 hours just preaching and telling us we were all going to hell. is that how it is at all christian funerals. protestant i think if that means anything.

#like he tried to talk himself up abt how close he was eith alda mae and didnt even pronounce her fucking name righttt #and i remember talking with my papaw after granbys service and he was like I fucking hate that guy .#but its like her whole side of the family is buried in this one specific cemetery and her mom was at that funeral home and then a year later #alda mae went to that funeral home like. yk. its judt like The funeral home for that part of the family but god all of us fucking hate it #like nobody liked the service. even if the guy was aldas pastor maybe the extended family liked it better #but like. my immediate/immediate extended family (papaw cousins aunts uncles and then like. immediate) All of us were pissed w how grannys #funeral went. yk. UGH it made me so mad.#nd like. idk. idt thats what my granny would've wanted like . she was religious but i dont think she wouldve wanted the guy preaching to us #abt how we were going to hell. like i think she wouldve cussed him out DJFNFJNG. yk. my granny was not like. a good person . tbh.#tip if an older southern relative you rly rly rly love dies Donttt check their facebook bc yr sad and you miss them and just want to see #their face again. it will rly sour your opinion on them quite quickly. but yk. it did make me mad that service. bc i love my granny and that #service was justtt awful. but it was nice being in the cemetery yk. i cleaned up my great grand tombstone my aunt shae got to see her dad nd #everything. i still havent been able to actually see grannys proper tombstone outside of findagrave but i wanna try n visit this year . if #we get a car. you know. bc the picture is nice its a joint one for her and my papaw. who is not dead yet Obviously and hopefully wont be for #a longgg time hes young. i think hes like 60ish. so hes still got a while thank god. but mannn. wtvr.

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altoskh · 6 months ago

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Imso tired man. I'm so tired. Why do I work this hard I am so FUCKING over this shit

#this other bitch out here like haha woopsie i forgot to clock out for lunch even though ive been out for two hours :)#guess ill leave early today! heehee #YOU DONT DO ANYTHING. YOU FUCKED ME OVER YET AGAIN #i am SO FUCKING SICK of this shit. why do I have to be the one to suffer #why do i have to be the person who doesnt get a say in fuck all even though im doing THE MOST WORK #and then i have to sit here and act like she fucking knows what shes talking about wrt animals #IM THE ANIMAL KEEPER. I KNOW WHATS GOING ON IN THIS DEPARTMENT BETTER THAN YOU #Im going crazy fucking insane right now #my coworker is out sick so ive had to do shit scheduled for three people. me. One person #and then im told shit like its just one class! ITS NOT #i have to break them up into two because its too big of a group #then i say ok we are doing reptiles over here #and shes like oh ummmm someone has it reserved for this time so can you do it in [place that is extremely loud]#and im like yeah ok fucking sure FINE #and then we get there and someone else is like ummmm we were told to est here for lunch by [her name]#and i radio her like UMMMM??????????#and shes like Oh woopsie i did tell them! you can do it at ummmm [3rd place]#im like yeah thanks for fucking wltting me know #Sorry im sorry thus is so extreme and petty but im like DROP DEAD #youve made my work life hell when it doesnt have to be because YOU SUCK AT YOUR JOB #FUCK!!!!!#YOU get to have a social life becaus you do whatever the FUCK YOU WANT #YOU get paid way more than me to do FUCK ALL #YOU dont have 30+ living beings depending on you every day #shut the fuck UP #I am so mad that i work so fucking hard and it doesnt fucking matter #so yeah sorry for starry spam but i think hes nice and right now the only thing keeping me from fucking losing it at work #along with a 1 min video of kookaburras im plahing over and over

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