#and helped her and her sister a lot too
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An older lady I grew up at church with posted a small bit about Christmas not being what she planned this year since her husband passed recently. And she ended with "Until I am in your arms again, I will love you as you love me" and to be frank. I. am inconsolable
#sobbing at my desk#about to drive out to her farm and give her the biggest hug#her and her husband were always wonderful#they did horse pulled carriage rides#and her husband played guitar and i loved when he'd sing country/folk songs at church#and i love her to death#i grew up with her#she was/is one of the cooks at the church camp i grew up at#and that place is a second home to me#my dads the caretaker there and has been for a long time#so we usually spent our summers there staying in the caretakers house#and when it wasnt my age groups camp#i would help out in the kitchen#so i spent a lot of time with her#ive helped in the kitchen a couple times as an adult#got paid once for it#i did last year after i got laid off#it made the time more bearable#and helped her and her sister a lot too#they were managing that kitchen alone#anyway the wording just got to me#ah diane the woman you are
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I was thinking about Cas's little sarcastic dig in Family Matters here ("Of course. Your problems always come first.")
Sam, and especially Dean, don’t want to be treated like they’re being babysat by Cas, yet in the early days, they often hope Cas will be endlessly available, invincible, and strong.
(And it's complicated because... compared to them, Cas kinda IS!!!)
Cas, for his part, occupies a complicated space for them. While he is given room to be vulnerable at times, he’s also relied on to be everything at once: Dean's partner in times of trouble, someone who will "be there when Sam calls" and "tear the attic up for Sam," all while shouldering cosmic battles.
The irony is even deeper when Cas gets referred to as "a child" or "a baby in a trench coat"—yet his strength, sacrifice, and loyalty are counted on without question.
(Cas is often goaded into being stronger, of course, because Dean is scared and needs that strength from Cas more than Dean needs it from anyone else, even if Dean doesn't understand why that is. And even if Cas doesn't catch everything in those references, Cas can't help but FEEL that expectation.)
///
BY ANYWAY, BOBBY. In Weekend at Bobby's, Bobby is SOOooooo parent-coded in this episode in a way that kinda parallels Cas in s6.
It's an off-key parallel, but both Bobby and Cas are expected to be there. Bobby without "selfish" complaint, Cas without visible weakness.
Their struggles often go unnoticed unless voiced outright—something Bobby, in true crusty Bobby fashion, has no prob doing in Weekend at Bobby’s:
INT. BOBBY’S HOUSE – NIGHT BOBBY: I – I hear you, son. I – it just ain’t a good time. DEAN (over the phone): Yeah, okay. You know what – Forget it. I mean I'm baring my soul like a freaking girl here and, uh –And you've got stuff to do. So that is – that's fine. That's fine but, seriously, a little selfish. Not all about you. [Bobby gets angry and leans forward.]
///
Dean is going through a LOT, but it's funny how like a child he comes off here. He's spinning out, and he has "no one to talk to," and Bobby's his DAD!
Dean invokes his own emotions like "baring his soul," and is clearly taken aback when Bobby isn't immediately receptive. It shows how Dean expects Bobby to always be there, without question, no matter what Bobby might be dealing with.
That’s classic "invincible parent" territory: the idea that their needs are secondary, or even non-existent.
(Aside// This is sometimes a bit how Sam can treat Dean throughout the run of the series, and how both boys occasionally treat Cas in s6).
///
And then Bobby tears them a new one!!! :D Yay!!! It's a real family moment and I LOVE IT:
DEAN (putting Bobby on speaker after Bobby tells him to go get Sam): You're on speaker, Bobby. BOBBY: Sam. Dean. love you like my own. I do. But sometimes [Bobby pauses and takes a long drink.] Sometimes… You two are the whiniest, most self-absorbed sons of bitches I ever met! I'm selfish? Me? I do everything for you! Everything! You need some lores scrounged up – You need your asses pulled out of the fire –You need someone to bitch to about each other – [Sam looks at Dean, puzzled.] BOBBY (over the phone): You call me and I come through – Every damn time! And what do I get for it?Jack with a side of squat! DEAN: Bobby – BOBBY: Do I sound like I'm done? Now look. I know you've got issues. God knows I know. But I got a news flash for you. You ain't the center of the universe! Now, it may have slipped your mind …that Crowley owns my soul! And the meter is running! And I will be damned if I'm going to sit around –And – and be damned! So how about you two sack up and help me for once? Dean looks very humble and Sam calm. SAM: Bobby, all – all you got to do is ask. DEAN: Anything you need... we're there.
Hits like a tired, overlooked parent.
He reminds them he gets nothing in return from them, which is a HUGE call out to how invisible and thankless his role as caretaker has become.
Bobby’s "sack up and help me for once" is both a plea and a challenge, demanding they grow up and recognize that he, too, is vulnerable and needs support.
It's the parent figure finally voicing the toll of always being strong—for once, asking to be seen.
Dean especially is humbled here. He's been the caretaker for his family, so he gets it immediately.
How hard he was leaning on Bobby.
///
Aside/// This season, Dean's actual support group is small, maybe even consists of just Bobby and Cas. Dean is short on "Dean understanders" this season; that is, he's short on people who see his core experience as not merely a brother, but an actual *pseudo-parent. Dean is a parent of Sam Winchester: and Sam is a complicated, apocalyptic-torn person who's often saddled with shouldering waaaay too much cosmic responsibility...
...which in turn has Dean shouldering too much responsibility too!
So when it comes to Bobby and Cas, Dean puts what he can't take on them! His family!
///
But unlike Bobby, Cas doesn't ask for help.
Which... it's complicated. (And very human.)
For starters, thanks to his upbringing, Cas WANTS to be strong. He thrives and is comfortable being that. Second, there are definitely little ways Cas gets the not-so-coded message that it's bad to be weak, even if those weren't the messages Dean intended to send. (Dean is desperate for everyone to be okay, and he needs someone to want to shoulder the real, complete Dean, with all his duties and complications. And for some reason, subconsciously, Dean wants that someone... to be Cas.)
Regardless, lines like "Babies whine" and "Without your powers" dig a lot deeper than intended for Cas, because Dean didn't have the full scope of the angelic war or Cas's fears about Raphael. And even when Dean DID get glimpses of that, it didn't yield the full story.
///
For his part, Cas is keeping Sam and Dean at arm's length, trying to place them in a "these are my charges to protect" role.
Bu unlike with Bobby, who Dean firmly places in a parental role, something is trying to FUNDAMENTALLY shift between Cas and Dean.
They often find themselves eye-to-eye in the kitchen, making decisions together in a way that feels imho very spousal, creating a dynamic where Dean doesn’t quite know how to navigate this growing sense of wanting to be an equal partner with Cas.
So you get their weird push-pull power struggle between them, sniping and bitching, mirroring what happens in real-life couples early in the relationship when responsibilities are heavy and scary. It's this swirling mix of "Oh shit, I don't know what to do! And YOU don't know what to do! What do WE DO?!" And "You are such a baby / be careful you idiot / be stronger plz for the love of god"
But yeah.
So... Cas holds himself in the role of an ANGEL, remaining largely invisible throughout the season and trying his best to keep his struggles INVISIBLE too, including the war he's fighting on humanity's behalf. Cas prefers that. From a distance. Emotions are scary af; he even calls them CRIPPLING in Mommy Dearest.
(Aside///Call-forward to Mary’s: "I was trying to make things right. Just from a distance, because... being here with you was too hard. Seeing what I'd done to you and to Sam, I..." /// Mary was ashamed of her deal; And Cas was ashamed of his brothers, of angelicity itself, of what they KEEP doing to humanity.)
Anyway, Dean doesn’t quite know how to handle their strange bond, that longing, that closeness, especially as Cas insists on remaining emotionally and physically distant, trying to handle a war they can't even see.
//
As for Bobby and Cas...
While they have their moments of pushback (Bobby’s explosion in Weekend at Bobby’s, Cas’s barbed sarcasm in Family Matters), and it definitely reveals the strain they’re under...
...it often also works to underscore just how invisible their labor has become to the very people they love.
But while Dean begins to grow up enough to see and name Bobby's sacrifices, his understanding of Cas's struggle is murkier, tangled up in pride, love, and the deep, unspoken hope that Cas will always be strong enough for both of them. (Save-me-save-US-but-let-me-help-you.)
I think the thing I love about it all… is the dualistic (subconscious) desire for Cas to make everything okay versus the worry for Cas not to shoulder these burdens alone. It's SOOOOO! HNNNNNnNNnngg. It's very real.
///
EDIT DISCLAIMER: This wasn't exactly the point of this post (Bobby and Cas feeling misunderstood/underappreciated), but for completionist's sake:
Dean's grief is attenuated by the experience of being a "pseudo-parent," and definitely a caretaker in the context of "cosmic-inflicted illness," and that's a riptide that runs through season 6 in a big way. Dean needs the people he loves to SEE this aspect of his life in order to feel understood.
That's what 12x22 is all about. The thread from season 6 to season 12 is surprisingly thick! That's why this:
prefaces this: BEING SEEN
It's not a question of how fair or unfair it is, or if he "should be" or "shouldn't be" "a parent." It's about those very real efforts being seen and understood by those around him, including the grief and continued sense of responsibility this has wrought under worsening and frankly, incredibly unfair cosmic circumstances.
#cas stuff#tfw family dynamics#the difficult job of caretaking#spn 6x04#spn 6x07#spn family matters#spn weekend at bobby's#i love season 6 GOD#also still thinking about lisa as a tragic dean misunderstander re: comparing sam to her sister and not to ben#it's not a shortcoming it's simply a failure to understand the nature of dean's grief after a year and it's so lovely really#also cas's sass is legend: your problems always come first#for dean it's the nature of growing up and learning to see and BE SEEN#or the nature of a grownup friendship becoming a grownup relationship too if you squint#dean and cas aren't playing house... THEY ARE A HOUSE#even in free to be you and me#they squat in a house together that is filled with new growth#they can't help but be a house even when no home is present#and THAT'S the scary thing#i also love the lesson here for cas bobby that you do kinda have to let ppl know when you're suffering bc ppl are oblivious sometimes lol#everyone's got a lot of probs and your friends WILL be there if only you ask#sobbing - this is an issue i am VERY cas-coded btw#i like to be pretend invincible and i DEFINITELY don't want to ask for the help i need#caretaker fatigue is real and very VERY isolating which works well here too i think
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okay, when was someone going to tell me that
oh, idk, steven started at 19, burgh has a younger sister, clay actually isn't born american, skyla's whole fam thing and ELESA IS 15???? (even younger than skyla like wtf???)
(also the 'alder' at the bottom is supposed to be drayden lol)
and that's not all
say hello to:
viola being 18??? 'black whirlwind' korrina, RAMOS MEETING AZ'S FLOETTE AS A KID, genderfluid and apparently also age-fluid olympia, CLEMONT?? AND HIS WHOLE THING DOWN TO BEING 12 OF ALL AGES???
(you know what, marlon being 30 definitely makes sense with the hippie vibes)
wikstrom SAYING that he only wears that suit in pokemon battles but i've never seen his casual wear, malva being pr for flare lol, drasna selling dragon merch + great family lore if you want to know, siebold having to third-wheel lysandre and sycamore while eating (move aside malva, you're not the only elite 4 dealing with this) and 20?? YEARS OLD?? DIANTHA????????????
(way too many men in kalos are getting ladies, c'mon)
ethan being into history is such a neat detail hmmm, idk much of the frontier brains ngl, and we've finally got the region for looker and it's... hoenn??? you know what, makes sense with his chaotic vibes so i'll take it (throws away unova taped to a rock behind my back). also he's abolsutely cheating we all see that he's just relying on knowing us as protags, should've known smh
(um i think someone said that 'caitlin' should've been anabel but idk)
oh and the last one is charon, if we care about how much of a loser he really is. forget about birch and the poochyena, this guy is the lowest heh. imagine being charon (please don't).
(when the protags of johto are the same age as clemont lol) (yeah i know there are years between those events just let me have this)
and last but not least:
aaron 🤝 valerie: wanting to be pokemon (and ig gotta toss in shauntal with the ao3 writer gift heh, don't know if they would commission her or stay away), bertha's description???? i love flint just saying, cynthia 👀👀 is absolutely doing something illegal 👀👀, roark is WHAT??? (child labour laws in sinnoh must be lax ngl), maylene as well???? fantina watching scary movies is something i'll have to incorporate into my worldview and bryon?? are you okay??
so yeah. credit goes to @/KuroBlitz96 on the twitter/x for having this up, i'm just here to project sheer surprise at this massive dump of ages... my thoughts on pokemon have completely turned on its head once more lol (this is fine)
#sinnoh is the most surprising out of the regions avaliable#but c'mon 12 year old clemont?? he is legit baby#steven is really just chilling around for at least 4 years until the protag got him huh??#when i was first watching bw i thought that cilan was middle child until that 3rd last ep?? with the fight for the gym#and having the bros come to him cemented the idea that he was the oldest#so hearing that is good to know#even though i have to make peace that they never left the city lol#WHY IS ELESA/ROARK/MAYLENE/DIANTHA SO DANG YOUNG???#i can maybe let go of viola. in time. maybe.#i also love some of that lore/history dump here as well#lenora's dad bringing back fossils and lyra being torn between countryside/city#viola being a big sister figure and getting that camera from her father#crasher wake being a fake fan but also heavily embodying that barry spirit in his own way#the ramifications of the mother dying after bonnie was born and wow that gag in the anime is suddenly a lot more sadder huh#on the brighter side the prism tower used to be a part of a travelling amusement park lol#flint's hype!!! maylene being confused over her own strength!!! (thoughts about paul's insults hit a lot harder after this hmm)#wulfric being an explorer!! and i'm still not over ramos and az's floette oh god#unfollow me right now. this is all i can talk about for the next few weeks. my brain is way too small for this knowledge help#is it canon now?? idk. but the fact that this was here is killing me#pokemon teraleak#save#deep stuff
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a rough sketch of an idea
Polites found odysseus in the sheep's field weapons and armor and body broken and bruised. It looked like he had been dropped from a great height. He felt his gut clench at the sight. It wasn't the first time something like this had happened. But it was the worst he had ever seen his friend.
Odysseus had been collecting more and more bruises over the past year, becoming more and more cagey about their source. About his training. "Proof of athena's favoritism" he called them with a grin "it'll all be worth it when I'm the best fighter around"
But polites couldn't help but worry. Pride and honors and achievements didn't matter if you didn't survive the training to get there. Polites desperately wished there was something more he could to do to help but even if he could convince odysseus to cease this insanity, how would even get out of it without offending the goddess?
"I take it training didn't go well, my friend?" Polites asked with a smile forcing his voice to keep its teasing edge. He extended a hand to help odysseus up off the ground.
"Shut up polites" odysseus grumbled as he threw a hand up to clumsily grasp at polites hand.
Despite the muscle odysseus was rapidly gaining polites could still haul him up easily. He'd thank the gods for his height but lately praying had left a sour taste in his mouth. As he dragged odysseus towards a well paid and secured doctor he eyed the broken spear, sword, and sheild. A glimmer of an idea started to take shape. It was likely odysseus would continue to break mortal equipment as he did battle with gods and his family had been pressuring him to choose a calling already....
"Eurylochus is coming from same tomorrow" polites chatted ideally, hoping to distract his closest friend from his pain. Odysseus groaned and banged his head against polites shoulder.
"Come now!" Polites chided through his laughter "you love the man!"
"Not when he's trying to bed my sister I dont" odysseus slurred somehow managing to drip annoyance through the concussion and other pains.
(@www-dot-why-are-you-here-dot-com tagged as promise! It's more on the angsty side of my headcanons so let me know if you only want to be tagged in the fluffy ones)
#The odyssey#Epic the musical#Odysseus#Polites#eurylochus#Rough drafts#ficlet#The start of how blacksmith!polites#The aftermath of athenas training#We talk a lot about how training with a goddess of war from childhood changed odysseus a lot#But not so much about how it would change a person to watch their friend go through those trails#And for polites who just wants to help and misses the days when they were more carefree it grates#Pre-canon#Odysseus and athenas wacky training adventures#Yes Athena did drop odysseus from a great height after fighting him for hours#She was treating odysseus to flying and he got way too sassy with her#Yes she did stand over his body to make sure he wasn't dying and to tell him “guess we need to work on your landings”#In the most menacing way possible#Odysseus internally lady Athena can you concuss me harder please I don't want to witness eury's bad flirting with my sister goddess please
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the more i watch avatar the more i become a zutara shipper LOL
#i really liked aang and katara at first#but now i am sort of noticing that she feels more like a big sister to him#and i would have preferred to watch him learn to get over his crush on her#she doesn't seem super into him#and although their friendship is so special and she is his earthly attachment#i would have preferred for it to stay a friendship i think#they just feel sort of sibling-like#but there's lots of tension between zuko and katara#and they feel like peers and relate to each other in a lot of ways#i feel there are a lot of places where they could have helped each other grow#and i really love complex romances where there are real struggles and stuff#but i feel like katara and aang feels too perfect in a way#and i don't like the katara is confused about her feelings for him but then we never actually see her sort through those feelings#anyway now i am rambling#zutara
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I find it so ironically funny when hardcore Debbie defenders use the defense that she was just a victimised teenage girl (agreed) and then proceed to slander Fiona and express their hatred for her character and lack of sympathy
as if being an adult magically absolves an individual of the horrifying trauma that precedes them and screws up their mentality and actions
funnily enough these people get mad at others for "expecting Debbie to be an innocent angel and hating on her for acting out as a result of trauma" (also agreed, debbie does deserve more sympathy, she can't be expected to grow up to be a perfect saint when she's been through so much) yet seem to hold Fiona to the same unattainable standards and put her on a pedestal as if she wasnt a child that was forced to intensely grow up while never actually being raised
like lets put this into perspective and remember that fiona grew up surrounded by corrupt morals and insanely screwed up behaviour yet still emerged as messed up, yes, but surprisingly good considering the situation she was in??? she had to navigate basic things such as morals and being a good, responsible person on her own. imagine how difficult it must be to lead a bunch of kids, including yourself, with no previous role model or good example of your own to follow. most of the time, she always tried to do what she thought was best and would have the most desirable outcome
#listen a lot of the time debbie defenders make good points#is debbie my favourite? no but she does deserve more sympathy#im really unserious on here and ive made some dumb meaningless jokes but at the heart of it i have sympathy for debbie#so no its not the debbie defense i have an issue with#its the way these people claim to be#1 understanders of shameless women and their complexity#top defenders#including of the women who have said and done worse than/just as bad as fiona#and then proceed to spew all this vitriolic lack of sympathy regarding fionas character#they always talk about fiona making the choice to be their legal guardian#as if the situation wasnt complex and 1) she felt pushed into an inescapable corner#2) that doesnt change the fact that she'd have strong feelings about her baby sister choosing to have a whole baby???#she claimed legal guardianship over HER siblings she did not foresee any other children being added to the mix#so yes she went about it harshly at times when she made debbie raise franny independently#but its not surprising considering her exhausted life?? her history as a TEENAGE GIRL and CHILD of raising kids???#there are actual mothers who'd be worse about this situation and fiona wasnt trying to be nasty#it was tough love and it could've been shown in better ways#and im not putting all the blame on debbie cause she was so young and vulnerable#but at the end of the day she made a choice and fiona was trying to help her understand the importance of consequences to your choice#and navigating adulthood when you choose to behave like one#of course debbie was often put in situations where she felt like she had to be a grown up and that is not her fault#but its not fionas either. theyre all just trying to survive. and fiona tried her damn hardest to preserve debbies childhood#so how do you think she'll react realistically to the whiplash of debbie purposefully getting pregnant#ultimately theres a lot of complexity and flaws and nuance to these situations and i find it weird when people criticise#others for putting so much blame on debbie#and then do the same to fiona as if shes not a victimised product of her environment too#you can show sympathy to debbie while understanding Fiona too and being critical in a mature#nuanced way#im not being a hater to anyone btw im just sharing some thoughts and letting it out. all im saying is#most of the shameless women deserve sympathy and understanding and its strange to deny fiona of that
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I love relationships that are not defined. It's probably my favorite kind of relationship between two fictional characters but man, a perfectly defined relationship is great, too.
#ene and lulu are childhood besties but they're so devoted to one another it ruined them and maybe there's something not friendship there#maybe they saw each other as siblings. with ene's sister gone and lulu's adoptive family missing it makes sense that they're each other's#replacement for the missing family members. Enea's twin certainly feels like that's what happened. her twin got himself a better sister#the matching birthdays doesn't help#those who has a crush on Ene or Lulu feels like they're in live with each other and are just too oblivious to realize.#this is also the most common interpretation of their relationship by others.#those who know them only by witnessing how far they'll go for one another will say that they are obsessed with each other.#that they are unhealthily codependent and they can use that.#lulu and Ene themselves will say that they are the bestest of friends#i love their undefined relationship a lot.#but sometimes I wish they have a more defined relationship because romance. even if I don't want it for myself. is very cute#and I want them cute XD#my second favorite pair is Dreifin and William and while their relationship is firmly#'requited but Will hates Fin so it's not working out and Will isn't going to remedy this problem. he'll make it worse'#they are funny and sad but not cute. they're also doomed because Dreifin will never trust William and William will never change for Dreifin#ahhh but they're the ocs i'm obsessed with so I want them to be cute and happy 😭#i also wanted to torture them but that's another issue
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After a few hunger strikes and health worries, baby girl has finally started eating regularly and putting on weight. She was a very good girl and held still today while I weighed her- normally she's a wiggle worm who is unusually talented at hitting the tare (reset scale) button.

Whenever Scoria is out her sister Sakura watches us very carefully. At first, she didn't trust me and acted like she had some bad experiences with humans before I got her. At that time Scoria was the only being in existence she felt safe with and could flee to when she was frightened, so it's no wonder Sakura worried over her when I had her out, and thoroughly checked her over when I put her back in her enclosure.

Her look isn't one of fear and worry anymore though. Now she has one of curiosity. Of learning. When she sees me hold Scoria, she wants to try it too. When she watched me gently cup my hand around her sister, she wanted to try hiding in a "hand cave" too. And after seeing Scoria and I cuddle, she bravely came out the next morning, curled up and snuggled me for a few minutes.

It's quite the experience living with these two sweet girls who care so very much about each other, and seeing how they think and even change their thoughts and actions over time. It's also really neat to see how they both learn from watching, and trust each other's judgement.
Honestly I think people don't give snakes enough credit as far as intelligence and empathy/care are concerned. There's still so much about them we don't know, and I'm amazed by the things they show me.

#pets#snakes#hognoses#sisters#cute#I think a lot about what humans “know” about keeping this species is wrong#unless my girls are an anomaly#but I don't think so#I think hoggies are just this way#and some can benefit from friends#just like rattle snakes!#Sakura's life has drastically improved since Scoria became a part of it#and she knows it#she cares more about the well being of her sister than anything else#when Scoria isn't around Sakura is a much more timid fearful snake#but if her sister is near and relaxed#Sakura is calm and relaxed too#and super sweet and friendly#she's trying to learn to be brave#and Scoria knows too#Scoria will help me and let me pick them both up#So her sister feels safe#when I set Scoria down in the enclosure to focus on a wiggly Sakura#Scoria almost went off to play but changed her mind to watch us a few minutes to make sure we were alright together#before doing her own things#they aren't just mindless things roaming around aimlessly#they have thoughts emotions and feelings#and an understanding that their friends have thoughts and feelings too#the level of understanding I see amazes me#sometimes I think humans write animals like snakes off because they can't communicate this in plain English
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anxiety problem: too anxious to go to thing on my own
solution: get someone to go with me to thing
anxiety problem: too anxious to ask someone to go with to thing
solution: ??????
#alpaca.txt#i keep forgetting i have anxiety and then like. oh no i need to do A Thing#im so sos so scared of the gender appointment even tho apparantly if i can manage to get the appoinment its prettymuch certain i get the hrt#idk. i cant ask parents to go with to gender appointment bc they are. kinda trying to discourage me tbh#i feel too weird about asking my sister(s??) about it and i cant articulate why even tho shes. a. only other people i can ask#b most transition knowing person i know#i can like. get there on my own fine i think im just. super aware that if things are too important i physically cant say them#and its the GET GENDER CARE APPOINTMENT so its. all. Super Important things#fuck.#idk what to do#also like i want to go to pride bc ive never been and ive actually remembered this year in pride month#but also. too scared on my own. only irl queer ppl i know is sister+partners. and theyre either busy or got their own plans#like w their friends bc they have a lot of queer friends. and that would be weird and lame of me to just. go w them then#i think this is what my support workers supposed to help me with but actually fuck i forgot to ever come out to her and idk her Trans Opinon#unfortunately gender appointment is something i both never want anyone to know what i said and a thing i need help with
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Sorry to double up on your inbox, but I had this burning idea.
Suppose Fuuta's sister has had her hair styled like the Milgram girls at various points. What scenarios might come up when Fuuta mistakes the girls for his sister?
I know you were looking for ideas on all of the girls but I got really carried away with this one train of thought with Kotoko, so have some of that instead 😭 I'm such a sucker for 02-04-06 seeming the type to use beauty products and know their way around a lot of hair care, and triggering memories for Fuuta via scents/sounds of his sister's job. And as you've seen I'm so emotional over him seeing Amane as an equal as they both care for each other and she feels like family...
Fuuta was used to people disappointing him.
He’d been let down by his mother, then his father. He’d seen how all of society screws its people over. His own friends had turned their backs on him when things got rocky. Even here, he couldn’t count on any of these people to look out for him. Well, all except one.
Kotoko.
He’d actually done a double take when he first saw her. Her hair was styled much like his sister’s; from behind, it could have been her with a bit of dye.
It wouldn’t have been so bizarre for her to color her head shining black. After all, that had always been his sister’s method of rebellion. His father was a traditional man, and hated to see her chop all her hair off, chop others’ hair off, add more piercings, or change it to any and every shade that wasn’t the family’s natural red. Fuuta had always thought they were all hollow exercises, more for attention than anything else. (It was nothing like the actual action he was taking to break away from his father’s strictness). Seeing Kotoko wear an eerily similar look, and hearing how closely her views aligned with his, he started to understand the appeal.
While the others were intimidated by her appearance, Fuuta found it familiar. Unlike the rest of the prison, he had no hesitation in approaching her. He was more willing to sit beside her at meals. He joined in her conversations in the common area.
Mahiru kept going on about being everyone’s ‘big sis,’ but she never took a damned thing seriously. Yuno told Fuuta he reminded her of her little brother, but the last thing he needed was to be treated like some baby. Kotoko, on the other hand, knew exactly how to speak with him.
She came to show him her solidarity before his interrogation. She gave him tips on working out, and joined in his conversations about the injustice of current prison systems. She even had his back when he was scolding Mikoto about taking fighting styles seriously. He jeered at the notion that Kotoko could overpower Kazui. Though, deep down, he’d seen how strong the woman was. For someone the same age as him, and busy with university like him, she had insanely impressive power.
He’d never dare admit it, but he looked on in awe whenever she worked out in the common areas.
Fuuta found even more comfort in her strength as the trial came to a close. The two ended up with opposite verdicts, but that wasn’t anything new. Teachers, neighbors, relatives – everyone had reasons to praise his sister while dragging up grievances against him. Both women had a sort of brash charisma that people enjoyed. He usually only got the label of “brash.” Kotoko was saved his rant that it all came from their differences in gender and beauty. Fuuta was confident she’d come to the same conclusion already.
After all, what else separated them? They were here for practically the same reason.
He didn’t let it get under his skin. While the prisoners shied away from him and the others named unforgiven, he could always count on Kotoko to speak with him as honestly and directly as usual.
The warden and the prisoners weren’t the only ones to let him down: the voices in his head had gone from a fair debate to a loud, nasty mob with each passing day.
They seemed to be at their very worst, now. He was going on a few nights of little to no sleep thanks to their nonstop judgment. Fuuta tossed and turned in his sheets, cursing the new uniform that made it impossible to relax. It had been exhausting, consumed by fear and guilt and anger. Everything had him jumpy these days.
He flinched as his cell door creaked.
His bleary eyes turned to the silhouette in the doorway. A name instinctively came to his lips. Thankfully, he corrected himself before making the embarrassing mistake.
“It’s you, Kotoko.” It was strange for her to be here at this hour. And completely unannounced, at that.
“Kajiyama Fuuta…”
He didn’t care. He smiled. After all, surrounded by so many betrayals, he always felt safer with her around.
#milgram#fuuta kajiyama#kotoko yuzuriha#photos taken moments before disaster!!!!#💀#i think kotoko is a bit too open with her opinions where this type of misunderstanding could never happen#but if she were just a little more secretive i think its wholly possible for fuuta to be influenced by her appearance and miss the signals#-_-#i love the idea that yuno reminds him of his victim so to have her Also remind him of his sister would be VERY interesting....#and 'big sis' mahiru actually looking like big sis would have a lot of comedy potential asdfsadf#i feel like muu wouldnt act very sisterly at first but the resemblance would bring them together in a nice way#and then theyd realize theyre really similar and have a real fun dynamic#and even though hed never in a million years admit he wanted amanes help -- if she reminded him of home im sure hed spend even more time#around her ;----;#drabbles
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god tywin lannister deserved worse
just remembering elias death and i wanna puke and the way tywin talks about elia and what happened is so damn gross
but rip tommen and myrcella we all know what’s about to happen in the next book :/
the cycle of violence just keeps spinning and damn you tywin for beginning it
(i got a bit crazy in the tags 💀)
#rest in peace elia and rhaenys#i’m one of those crazy ppl who thinks jaqen h’ghar is aegon 💀#literally lost the teeny tiny amount of credibility i had#anyways i think doran’s in on it and i think rhaegar switched out asharas child for aegon paralleling the baby swap jon does#the pact made in braavos about viserys and dany marriages is a half truth half lie#and arianne being sent to faegon is simply doran testing his heir. if she messes up then whoever’s spying for doran will correct her#gerold dayne knows too much that’s why doran thinks he’s too dangerous#but this would make the dornish plot sooooo much more interesting and would show that no doran hasn’t been doing nothing#it would also automatically make the daynes more important#jaqen (aegon) was in kings landing to kill robert but got caught by varys. syrio was sent to find him. ned cleared out the black cells tho#saving aegon in the process. fun how we’re actually introduced to this character through lyanna starks mini me arya#aegon was able to kill robert with a boar tho so mission accomplished.#now he’s in old town trying to hatch his dragon egg. the stone beast taking flight in danys vision is aegon being symbolically depicted…#..as a spinx#i’m crazy delusional. but ppl who think faegon is actually aegon are even more delusional than me#plus the real aegon being alive fulfills the suns son part of quaithes warnings#i like this theory bc it makes the dorne plot more interesting and it explains whatever is going on with jaqen h’ghar cause he is sus#yes yes i know i’m delusional 💀 i just think it’d be a very interesting twist#kinda hoping no one sees this post at this point bc i know no one will take this theory well lol#i do think this theory can be supported by the text tho#and cerseis throw away line about ned stealing asharas baby would suddenly become peak foreshadowing#barristan comparign dany to ashara would also be peak foreshadowing bc ashara would take the place of gilly in this parallel and she was dis#dishonored by someone at harrenhall. likely aerys and then she turned to a stark probably brandon for comfort#tbh i think it was ashara who lied to brandon about what happened to lyanna. perhaps she was trying to mess with brandon’s wedding and#was trying to get back at rhaegar for humiliating elia at the tourney. i highly doubt it was baelish who lied to brandon cause brandon#has little reason to believe him and no reason to trust him. ashara tho? arthur daynes sister and elias lady in waiting? also his lover?#anyways varys the spider potentially stealing aegon away (if he did take a child it was the false aegon) is there to parallel the others#who ride ice spiders taking crasters sons. tbh i think it was aegon who decided he wanted to train as a faceless man so he could get revenge#on his own terms. and the sea lord of braavos at the time was in on it and helped aegon with his plans#the unveiling coming up is going to be a lot more important than arya just reclaiming her identity. yes im delusional lmao. rant over
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can't stop thinking abt how much my grandma would've loved toji.....
#she was a very bossy woman#but not in like a mmm rude way#she was just the head of the house yk?#she lived at the countryside and so there was always smth to do#i used to spend all of my summers and school holidays there with her#and every weekend when my parents and her son would come visit she just gave everybody a job lmao#oh wait so she wasn't technically my grandma she was my grandma's sister but . to me she still counted as a grandma okay#anyway#i think if yk she'd still be here and i were to take toji with me to there#they would get along very very well#bc i think toji would do everything she said without a question or a complaint#she was a big talker too so i just like to imagine him helping her out with whatever while she tells a story about whatever#and he is . listening#perhaps peeks at what i'm doing in the meanwhile but he's good okay#he's gonna be a good little worker hehehhee#(and i'm gonna be drooling for the entire time bc holy fuck he's like dirty now and he's sweating and he's being sooo so nice and mmmm sexy#and then for dinner we barbeque smth and he gets to show off his skills with the grill sahgdghsdhgsagdas#and then ofc we go to the sauna and then swimming#i would've loved to tell him stories about the place#and then we'd sleep in a bed that's just a bit too small but neither of us care#and i would whisper more stories bc i have sooo so many stories to tell abt the place and her#mmmmmmmmmmmmm#i miss her and i miss her place#it's still there like i still occasionally go and visit (her grandkid is taking care of it now) but it's not really the same anymore#anyway i think the morning would be sooo so lovely too we'd get coffee and she'd most definitely makes us pancakes and wahhh#i think this is one of the sweetest daydreams of mine#i think he would've loved it there a lot#despite all of the work#i think he would've loved it#miji
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Sometimes I remember that Ashfur and Ferncloud are siblings and how different they are in spite of that, and I wonder:
Do you think that Ashfur was ever jealous of Ferncloud?
Think about it. Ferncloud wasn't a warrior for very long before she got to start a family. She got the guy she wanted, literally had two litters of kits in the span between the first and second arcs and even had another an arc later, and happily spent her whole life in the nursery caring for ThunderClan's young
Meanwhile Ashfur spent his entire life and afterlife chasing after Squirrelflight, no matter the fact that she wasn't interested him, no matter the fact that she consistently chose Brambleclaw over him, no matter the fact that she had Brambleclaw's children (including both her adopted and biological litters), no matter the fact that Ashfur literally tries to kill and humiliate her family to force her to be with him and feel pain for rejecting him
Do you ever think Ashfur felt envious bcus his kind and loving sister got to start the family that his obsessive and possessive self tried to get and never could?
#original post#WARRIORS GIVE ME THE FORBIDDEN SIBLING RELATIONSHIPS!!!#the contrast between these two is staggering and nothing comes of it#they could be so fascinating but no#did ferncloud ever learn of the horrible things her brother did? how would she react?#would things have been different if ashfur had allowed his sister to help him thru his heartbreak over being rejected?#and like. ashfur being jealous of what ferncloud has would make a lot of sense for his arc tbh#maybe throw cloudtail and brightheart amd their family in there too seeing as cloudtail is ashfur's adopted brother#idk. i'm having thoughts about the silly cat books#warriors#warrior cats#ashfur#ferncloud#character of all time tag
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...
#so my mom's wake thing was today and that was a lot. not in an emotional sense but in a im standing here talking for 3hrs#to ppl i dont kno or barely kno. ya kno? but it was good bc so many ppl showed up to talk abt her#so many people. my mom made a huge impact on the school system. so many ppl relied on her. she encouraged at least 2 ppl to get their#master. for one person to specilize in helping the dyslexic after her experience advocating for 3 dyslexic daughters. she wrote and was#awarded a 10000 dollar grant for special needs and intervention curriculum. which will affect so many lives.#everyone loved her. she's gonna get a track meet named after her and a scholarship created in her honor.#she was an amazing person and she affected a lot of lives and im glad she was my mom. and she raised at least one jem in my littlest#sister who is so sweet and is a great teacher. god but there was some weird stuff too. were pretty sure her old boss was in love with her.#and there were some weird comments abt her being a strong woman or this woman doing so much and its like hm y do i detect a note of sexism#y not say she was an amazing person? y the surprise? weird comments about how pretty i looked. which yes i looked great lol. my funeral fit#was cute. we did bright colors bc it was a celebration not a dower event. and im sure it was ment well but it was a lil weird. and then#everyone was telling my grandma what a great job she did raising my mom and like god fuck off she didn't do jack. my mom was great despite#her terrible mother. ugh. but altogether it was good that everyone was able to express their love for her. it was def a day that was for#them mostly. i mean partly for us but mostly for them. none of us even cried. ay but we have 2 more parties in her honor#bc everyone loved her so much we have to do one in her hometown too. plus a personal friends get together. ugh. im so tired#i wish i wasnt the most awkward. eye contact avoidant person in the room but like ya kno. what can ya do?#unrelated
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it’s actually wildly funny that amethar’s epithet came about because he was the only person in his family not horrifically murdered. imagine if every single one of your relatives got stabbed and from that point on everyone called you “johnny no-stabs." that’s amethar’s life
#his life is SO sad and SO funny#and frankly I have a lot of ideas for ways we could make it sadder#like killing ruby in the cathedral fight#(we get rococoa on the way back to candia and amethar should be happy but he can’t help feeling like there’s some sick trade at work#like when he was in that cathedral wishing for his big sister back—wishing she could come fix his mistakes—#he spent just a second too long being willing to offer up *anything* in exchange#how can he not blame rococoa? how can he not hate what’s left of her? the only person he hates more is himself)#also. killing liam as he tries to drag jet’s body back to the castle alone#(how can he not when he left ruby’s body behind in the cathedral?#how can he not when he was the one who wasn’t strong enough or quick enough to save her sister?)#(and then amanda maillard follows them out of the castle.#and amethar looks to his wife—who may not have loved him but did love their daughters—for comfort#and she won’t even look at him. and she’s in amanda’s arms)#just like. kill that dude’s family#amethar the unfallen for real. everybody he loves dies. and he has to keep going and going and going#a crown of candy#dimension 20
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I miss him soooo bad today.
M.atthew is so cute! I miss my half-catboy with a croptop and earrings (he's peak character design)
#he makes me really happy. he's always so bright and bubbly and just.. really helps cheer me up when i need it y'know?#means the world to me#i love matt a lot#he's childhood friends with ash so they're very close. he just makes me happy#i really really love him ajdhsjdjs not doing the best today but man.. he's just so cute#he loves his friends. he has great hair. and he has little fangs too!!! since. you know. sister is a catgirl#it's peak character design fr#and his voice.. AHDKAHXJA sometimes he gets super british and i have to look up the slang he uses but. it's cute when he does it#fuck i love my matt sooooo much!!!!#he makes me smile#him and ash are such a fun couple ajdjahdjs#oh and! when they get married! they have two kids! twins! a girl named lilly and a boy named thorn. they're just as chaotic as you'd#expect matt's children to be. they then find a nopon named Popo and Popo becomes part of the family <3#Lilly punches things like her dad. Thorn has a sword like his mom. they're super cool!#... and yeah. they're just as british as he is#but ahem#matthewwww i love yoouuuuu so much!!!#ash rambles 💚#I'm feeling full of beans 🫘!
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