#and helga blows up

[swan2swan]

Me, watching Helga hold Kida captive: "Haha, Toxic Yuri."

Me, seeing Helga slowly relinquish her grip on Kida throughout the scene as Things Get Worse, until she's looking almost worriedly at Crystal Kida: "Oh no."

[blanketorghost]

Okay hi hello I have seen a sudden new influx in EAH fans (hiiiii welcome <3) and while I am very happy to see this little fandom still be more than three pieces of lint and a paperclip, I am here to give y'all a list of already DEBUNKED EAH myths that somehow always show up whenever this happens every 1/2 years:

"Apple White and Raven Queen are related."

They are not. In Chapter 2 Episode 11 "Blondie Branches Out" there's a throaway line explaining how the 'Prince Charming' role is distributed between multiple unrelated Charming families. There is also no mention in any of EAH media of Apple and Raven being related. The only related characters are:

Poppy and Holly O'Hair (Twins)

Giles & Milton Grimm (Siblings, Milton is the oldest)

Cerise Hood and Ramona Badwolf (Siblings, order not specified)

Daring, Dexter and Darling charming (Siblings, Daring is the oldest and Dexter and Darling are fraternal twins)

Briar Beauty and Rosabella Beauty (1st Cousins)

Gus and Helga Crumb (1st Cousins)

The Hood/Badwolf sisters, Sparrow Hood (Distant cousins)

In Apple White's 'Royally Ever After' diary, the retelling of the Snow White fairytale has Apple be Raven's personal assistant that later overthrows her rule, meaning familial relation and them sharing a royal bloodline is not a necessary part of the narrative.

"XYZ Background character is the descendant of ABC fairytale character."

Unless directly confirmed by a GURU media employee or mentioned in the show, none of the background characters have a direct counterpart.

Most of the most famous background characters are actually cameos/based off of animators (pictured below):

The fandom wiki is not a reliable source given the fact it has no edit protection and the moderators are no longer active.

Be carefulnot to confuse popular hedacanons or fan designs (more often than not fanart by red_red_heels, boots.caitlin and/or theprincessswan on instagram)

"XYZ's fairytale parent is dead."

Unless specifically stated, this is also not true. Certain stories have a loophole or workaround that prevent major character death. So far we have been given confirmation of:

Cinderella (Unknown loophole): shown to still be alive in 'Ashlynn Ella's Story'

The Swan Queen (Turned into a swan forever): It is not known wether or not Duchess' mom gave birth to her while she was still a human or if she was born from an egg. Raised by her grandmother. It is implied her curse is generational.

The Little Mermaid (Happy Ending): The first time this loophole is mentioned explicitly (Meeshell's diary). She was given a happy ending and lives under the sea, unlike the original HCA story. Story variation further explained in 'Fairy Tail Ending'.

The Big Bad Wolf (Unknown loophole): Self explanatory.

Baba Yaga (Possible Immortality?): Self explanatory.

The Candy Witch (Version recorded in the Storybook of Legends confirmed to be inaccurate): Explained in 'Kiss and Spell'.

"Descendants killed EAH."

Look, I am as much of a Descendants hater as the next guy, but the unfortunate truth is that EAH was never as successful as Mattel expected it to be. Their style was too 'childish and girly' for kids who were already into Monster High, and their themes were far too complex for younger kids to fully grasp. So their target audience was unfortunately not very interested. This is coming from someone who was around 11-12 when EAH came out. As an existing MH fan, I was turned off by it as at that time kids were entering their more 'edgy' phase and wasn't willing to give it a chance.

What dealt the killing blow was Mattel and Disney severing their contract over the Disney Princess doll line due to decreasing quality, and then after the release of descendants with Hasbro, one of Mattel's biggest competitors.

-

There's probably some other myths I missed, but these are the most common/widely believed ones. I'll maybe reblog/update later with more myths as I come across them.

[probablyspooky]

Tesoro Atlantis [Vinny x F!Reader] P.2

[First]

You're a marine biologist, friend of Milo Thatch, who brings you along on the expedition to find Atlantis, allowing you a once in a lifetime opportunity to see the seabed for yourself, but you find more than that.

One by one, small lights were produced, looking up at Vinny you sigh a sigh of relief that you survived that. Realizing his arm is still around you, you feel your cheeks heat up, but something hard is poking you.

“Uhm…Vinny what’s that?” you ask nervously.

“Oh that?” he digs into his satchel, producing a clock strapped to a few sticks of dynamite, “It’s a bomb.”

“Oh…”

The clock's face comically shoots out, this action forces Vinny to frown.

“Merda…” he scowls.

Leaving the armored trucks, Rourke asks Audrey what the damage to the convoy is.

“Not as bad as it could have been,” she says, face inside an engine,”We totaled rigs two and seven, but the digger still looks like it’ll still run. Lucky for us we landed in something soft.”

Mole scurries around, sniffing the ground much like a dog.

“Pumice ash,” he says, “We are standing at the base of a dormant Volcano.”

Helga shoots a flare into the air, its large flame eventually becoming a speck in your eye.

“It just keeps coming,” Helga says, astonished.

“Maybe it’s our ticket out of here,” Vinny says, standing next to you, brushing his finger against his mustache.

The flare pops in the distance.

“Maybe not,” Helga frowns.

Mole scurried around some more.

“The maga has solidified in the bowels of the volcano, effectively blocking off the exit.”

Sweet takes a step back, flailing his hands around as he speaks smoothly.

“Hold on, back up. Are you saying this whole volcano can blow at any time?”

You watch Vinny trying to fix the clock bomb in his hand while everyone speaks.

“No, no, no, no. That would take an explosive force of great magnitude” Mole says calmly.

Vinny's clock face pops out again. Everyone turns their faces to the two of you.

“Maybe I should do this later, huh?” his gaze turns to you with a smirk.

Rourke grumbles to himself, turning to the group.

“If we can blow the top off of that thing, we’d have a straight shot to the surface. Mr. Thatch, what do you think? Mr. Thatch? Thatch?” 

You hadn’t even realized your best friend, Milo Thatch was gone. You were too distracted by Vinny [aren’t we all] to notice, panic rises in your chest as you begin to quickly pace around looking for your lost friend. 

“Milo?” you cry out, “Milo!?”

You feel the firm, comforting hand of Vinny tap your side.

“Don’t worry tesoro. We will find him. I’m sure he’s fine, books probably cushioned his fall.”

Mole scurries around, pressing his ear against a wall.

“I hear something!” he exclaims, quickly jumping to his digger and starting it up. The group follows Mole through his tunnel. You spot Milo running after something. Leaving Vinny’s grasp, you rush after Milo.

“Milo!” you call you, grabbing his arm and pulling him into a hug.

“I thought I’d lost you…”

You look at Milo, realizing you’re no longer within the confines of the cave, your eyes slowly pan to behind Milo, a waterfall, and upon it, the city of Atlantis beholds you.

“Sweet mother of Jefferson Davis!” Cookie exclaims

“It’s beautiful…” Audrey says in awe.

Sweet comes over to Milo giving him a firm pat on the back.

“Milo, I gotta hand it to you, you really came through.”

Your eyes widen at the beauty of the waterfall that beholds you.

“Have you ever seen anything so wonderful, Vinny?” you ask.

“Huh…Yeah, it’s a beautiful sight…” he replies, his eyes not on the waterfall but on someone else instead.

Suddenly, a group of masked people crawl and jump from the digger behind the group. Vinny steps ahead of you, an arm blocking your midsection as unknown masked people approach.

You can’t hear what’s currently being said, but you see the leader of the masked group remove her mask.

“She’s beautiful…” you whisper.

“She’s somethin, I guess,” Vinny replies.

You watch Milo wave his hands around, a desperate attempt to communicate with them. Mole for some reason whispers something to the woman, and she firmly knocks his lights out, applause followed from Sweet.

Rourke sends back a squad to salvage some items, while the rest of you enter the city of Atlantis. You climb into a truck with Vinny and Mole, squeezing into the middle best you can.

“I’m so excited!,” Mole claps.

You try your best to move away from the dirty man, your back firmly on Vinny’s side.

“Careful tesoro,” Vinny chuckles, pointing to the lava underneath the bridge you’re all currently crossing.

The group progresses, and you look at all the flying reptiles, plant life, and ancient architecture around you.

“This is beautiful…I wonder what type of marine life they have.” you say, your eyes jumping from sight to sight.

“Eh, you see one fish, you seen em all,” Vinny says.

“Oh!” you playfully shove him, “Don’t say that! Everything is unique in its own way, there’s beauty in every individual thing.”

Of course Vinny knew this already, feeling you press against him as you look around at all the sights with such passion makes him feel all warm inside, only for a moment, a dark pit of guilt swirls in his chest as he knows the inevitable will happen.

The small convoy trucks begin to halt, and in the distance you can see Milo, Helga, Kida, and Rourke enter a large temple. Eventually your car comes to a halt, Vinny stretches out his hand and helps you down.

“This is amazing!” you exclaim walking with Vinny and the group towards the kings temple. “Eh, it’s not all that great, been down here this whole time, can’t be that great, They probably don’t even have good wine.” Vinny chuckles as you begin to climb the stairs to the temple doors, not realizing the two of you haven’t let go of one another’s hand.

Milo and the rest come out, Milo say’s the princess is willing to help them, but the king however…does not. Rourke volunteers Milo to go with Kida to help convince her, and then informs the rest of the group that they are staying for one night.

The rest of the group veers off to explore the city. Vinny turns to you.

“Where to, tesoro?” he smiles down at you.

You smile excitedly as the two of you wander through the market area of Atlantis, taking in all the sights, all the goods that are being traded around, wonderful clothes, spices never heard of before, these beautiful crystals everyone wears around their necks as they work in their wonderful secret world. Taking in the smells of the food cooking, you might not know what animal they’re cooking, or why it has so many eyes, but one thing is for certain…it’s better than Cookie’s.

The two of you end up at the fishing docks, where the fishermen are reeling in marine life you had never seen before. You peer down from the bricks to look down into the water.

“Fascinating…” you say softly.

Suddenly, this lobster thing with a long tail grips the back of your head and drags you under.

Remember, you can’t swim, you begin to kick, the weight of your boots tugging you down deeper into the Atlantis waters. You hear the water vibrate as something large enters the space with you, your lungs burn as the lack of oxygen begins to cut off your brain function. An arm wraps around your chest, and you’re tugged up from the waters. The feel of cold air on your face as you break the surface of the water.

Gasping for air, as you’re dragged onto solid land, panting you look over to see Vinny, his sweater soaked as he looks down at you.

“Tesoro! Are you okay?” he asks, his hand on your cheek.

You cough, nodding, you don’t know why, but you pull Vinny into a hug, burying your face into his still wet chest.

“Thank you Vinny,” you sigh, looking up at him.

He smiles, looking back at you as your faces inch closer, feeling his heart jump in his chest as your lips are almost touching. 

Vinny stops and pulls back.

“L-let’s get you out of these wet clothes..” 

Disappointed, but understanding the situation, you nod, standing up the two of you head back to the group to get a fresh change of clothes.

Once the main group is back together, you all are treated to a feast…of still moving bugs.

“Oh..yum..” you frown, looking at the creepy crawlies in your bowl.

Vinny picks up this bug creature, with many eyes.

“I’m not used to being watched like this…” Vinny jokes.

Sweet pulls out one of his own from his bowl.

“Oh, don’t forget to eat the head,” he says, ripping the head off with his teeth, “ That’s where all the nutrients are.”

You watch the Atlanteans begin to turn in, Milo and Kida sneak off to go do whatever. So you find yourself walking in the cool night time air of Atlantis, feeling the familiar presence of a demo-man behind you.

“What’s on your mind, Tesoro?” he asks, walking close to you

“Just thinking about…how this whole place was hidden for so long, and I took the leap with Milo to come on this trip, I would’ve…” you turn to look at him, “never found such wonderful things if I hadn’t come alone.”

He takes your hands into his.

“Really? I mean it’s not Palermo, but it’s something.” he chuckles, rubbing his thumbs across your knuckles.

He clears his throat, moving the match in his mouth from one side to the other.

“But, I also found something wonderful down here…”

Like before, the two of you close the gap between your bodies, your faces inches apart, as your bodies begin to sway back and forth together in unison. 

“Really…what’s that?” you ask, leaning up.

Vinny begins to lean down, but the moment he feels your breath on his lips, he reels back once more.

“I can’t!” he sputters, letting go of your hands and squeezing his face, “I’m not who you think I am.”

“What?”

“I-...I really like you Tesoro.”

“I like you too.”

“But..” he grumbles, “I need you to be safe.”

“What do you mean?”

Vinny glances around.

“Do you trust me?”

You nod at him.

“Of course, of course I do.”

Vinny looks conflicted, he sighs and drags you to the trucks, opening the trunk of one of them.

“Sit in here, I will come back for you once it’s done okay?” “What about Milo?” you ask, hesitating to climb in.

Vinny rubs the back of his neck.

“I’ll make sure he’s safe okay?”

You nod, climbing into the trunk.

“I will be back for you I promise.”

Darkness consumes you. You try your darn hardest to stay awake, but you fall asleep. Only awaking to the sound of the truck starting up and commotion outside.

“Vinny…?” you whisper, rubbing your eyes still in the darkness of the truck. Suddenly an explosion goes off, causing you to jump, the lid of the trunk opening slightly as you peer through the crack, you see the shrinking sight of Atlantis as you travel farther from it.

“What?”

POINT OF VIEW CHANGE “BWAAAAAWM” -Ian the editor

Milo stares as the bridge to Atlantis collapses, the crew standing behind him.

“What’re we gonna do?” Milo groans into his hands, turning around to the crew, “[Y/n], sorry for getting you stuck in all-...where’s [Y/N]?”

Vinny freezes, a deep pit in his stomach forms as looks at the trucks driving away.

“Cazzo…”

WE’RE BACK WITH [Y/N] POINT OF VIEW  “MWAAAAAWB”

You hear the bustle of men, work being done, you try your hardest to stay quiet, but soon enough a masked man finds you, yanking you out of your hiding spot.

You’re dragged in front of Rourke and Helga.

“We found this one in the trunk of the truck” the masked man said, “What shall we do with her?”

Rourke looks at Helga.

“I say be done with her,” Rourke says, waving his hand.

Helga raises her hand, stopping your immediate execution.

“Well hold on, no need, not like she can do anything to us now, why waste a bullet, when she can waste away down here with the rest of them?”

Just like that you’re ignored, people working as if they’re not gonna leave you there to die.

You watch as they fire a rocket to the top of the volcano, the warm beams of sunlight as it shines down from the cracks. Rourke basks in the sunlight, happy to finally have his victory.

A giant balloon is produced from a cart, lifting some sort of crate into the air. You climb to your feet and chase after.

“What’s going on!?” you shout, running after Rourke.

“Stupi-”

Rourke turns his face to see the flying fleet of fish charging at them as Milo and the gang proceed to race towards you all.

“Alright change of plan,” Rourke says, grabbing your arm. “I see how Vinny looks at you.” He drags you on to the balloon, then he proceeds to signal his men to start firing at the fish. The battle is brutal, some Atlanteans begin to fall, their fish causing large explosions of blue energy. Rourke forcefully pulls you up as he begins to fire at anything that moves. A blue beam of energy fires between the two of you, causing Rourke to drop his gun. You look over to see Vinny salute at you as he flies off back into battle. 

Rourke growls angrily and begins to shake you, while doing so as he spots Audrey and Sweet trying to cut the cargo from the balloon.

“Looks like someone’s workin’ overtime,” he tells Helga, as she drops bombs onto them.

Milo at this time now flies his flying hammerhead into one of the side balloons of the ship.

“Lighten the load!’ Rourke says, throwing you overboard.

You scream in terror as the air rushes past you, the balloon shrinking as you begin to grow the distance. You close your eyes trying to brace yourself for impact, and then!

The ground feels a lot like a hand.

You peek your eyes open to spot the familiar Italian demoman.

“I told you I was gonna come back for you Tesoro..” he smiles at you, his firm grip holding you close to him.

“Vinny!” you smile, wrapping your arms around his neck, finally pressing your lips against his.

He kisses you back, feeling your hair in his hand as he continues to maneuver through the airspace.

“Shit, I should save you more often…” he chuckles.

The two of you begin to retreat as Milo defeats Rourke.

Milo reinstates the heart of Atlantis, saving its people. [i aint typin all that, you know what happened]

The people of Atlantis heavily reward its heroes with massive amounts of wealth and gold. The crew overlook Atlantis as its bright roads are now full of hope.

Your hand wrapped tightly with Vinny’s as you lean your head onto his shoulder.

Every good thing must come to an end, and you have to say goodbye to Milo.

Kida gives you each a crystal necklace, smiling at yours in your hand.

“Atlantis will honor your names forever. I only wish there was more we could do for you.” Kida says, standing by Milo.

“Uh, you know, thanks anyway… but I think we’re good.” Vinny says, looking at you while motioning to the pile of wealthy behind you.

“They’ll take you as far as the surface.” Milo says.

“We are really going to miss you, Milo,” Audrey says, as Vinny walks over to Milo.

“You know, I’m gonna reopen a flower shop, and I’m gonna think of you guys every single day. Monday through Friday 9:00 to 5:00, Saturday until 2:00. Sunday…I’m gonna take Sunday off probably…date night..Maybe I’ll go in for a couple hours…you know…but August…I’m gonna take August. [Y/N] you got plans in August?” “No?,” you smile.

He turns to Milo with a smirk.

“I’m gonna take August off.” 

With that Vinny walks back to your side, wrapping his arm around your shoulder, placing a kiss on your forehead.

“You gonna be okay [Y/N]?” Milo asks you.

Of course not, you begin to feel tears well in your eyes and you rush over and give him a hug.

“I’m gonna miss you!’ you cry, feeling Milo hug you back

Cookie taps you on the shoulder.

“S’cuse me ma’am I’d like a turn with the nerd.”

You wipe your face and give Milo a final squeeze walking back to Vinny.

Vinny pulls you aside as you watch Cookie give Milo a literal bucket of grease.

“So August…”Vinny starts, “now that ya’know..I’m rich, you wanna…travel to see Venice?”

You nod excitedly, and then stop.

“With you?”

“Yes, with me tesoro” he replies pressing his forehead against yours.

The guard calls everyone over for a photo.

“Say ‘G’ochk”

“G’ochk!” you all say as the photo is taken.

At Mr. Whitmore’s basement room, the group stands now wearing fine clothes, jewelry, and positive attitudes.

“Now let’s go over it again, just so we got it straight,” Mr. Witmore starts, looking through photos,” You didn’t find anything.”

“Nope. Just [Y/N].” Vinny says. You respond by elbowing him, “And rocks. And Fish. Little fish. Sponges.”

“What happened to Helga?” Whitmore asks.

“Well, we lost her when a flamin’ zeppelin come down on her.”

Packard hits him with her parasol, “Uh…missin…”

“That’s right, and Rourke?” Whitmore asks.

“Nervous breakdown. You could say he went all to pieces” Sweet says, smiling at the group.

“In fact, you could say he was transmogrified, and then busted into a zillion…” the parasol is raised again, Cookie clears his throat,” He’s missin, too.”

“What about Milo?” Whitmore asks finally, looking at you.

“Went down with the sub,” you sigh, feeling Vinny’s hand on your head.

Suddenly there is the sound of digging, and your eyes pan over to see Mole’s clothes scattered on the floor and him digging into a large pot of dirt, laughing maniacally the entire time.

“Oh, lord, give me strength,” Sweet mutters, going over to the pot.

“I’m gonna miss that boy..” Mr. Whitmore sighs.

After the group goes their separate ways for now. You wave goodbye at the group as Vinny takes your hand to the car waiting, planting a kiss onto your lips.

“What now?” you ask him, wrapping your arms around his neck, giggling.

“Whatever we want Tesoro…” he chuckles, capturing your lips into another kiss.

[thetinyadventurer]

Thought that made me sit straight up in bed and say “God damn!”: I first saw the trailer for Disney’s Atlantis: The Lost Empire on a VHS tape of the movie Dinosaur. The next year, my parents bought our first ever dvd player and Atlantis was the first dvd we ever got. This was like in 2001/2002. The beginning of a new century and technology was already advancing at a rapid pace… Now we have streaming and such and, damn, do I feel old!

I also think it’s cool that they released Atlantis at the beginning of a new century while the movie took place in the previous century (1914). And it just blows my mind to realize how much of an influence this film had on me: This is the film that introduced me to my love for history (specifically the early 1900’s). Helga Sinclair’s little flip back onto the hot air balloon inspired me to try out gymnastics. Yes, with some help, I actually used to be able to do that on the bars.

Also, Milo-freaking-Thatch! This guy gave me hope in a time in my life where I was a scared and confused little kid. I just remember tiny me going into the first grade the previous year: Brand new school, I was grieving the loss of my cat/dealing with my first experience with death and on top of it all, was aware for the first time in my life that I was VERY different from other children my age. I didn’t get formally diagnosed with ADHD until a few years later but even as a child I knew I didn’t fit in at all. I liked things other kids didn’t, was extremely socially inept and god did I read a lot of books! Anyway, here I am, a neurodivergent little girl who felt excluded and isolated from the other kids and here comes this skinny, kind, brave goofball of a guy with an ancient journal and a dream to find the lost city of Atlantis! Here is Milo James Thatch struggling to fit in with the rest of the group and, at times, getting left out just like me! Here is a guy who’s trying his best to help and making mistakes along the way just like I was! And in the end he finds friends, his dream comes true and he becomes brave! And that was SO COOL as a child to have a character out there that shared similar struggles! He helped me not to feel so alone and I’ll always be grateful for that. Oh, and most of all he taught me to stand up and do the right thing.

Also I HAVE to give a nod to Kida and Helga. Kida influenced me to be kinder to people as a child. She befriended Milo, listened to what he had to say and they learned so much from each other. Kida taught me what it means to be a good friend to someone.

Besides inspiring me to try out for gymnastics, Helga made me want to be stronger. She made me want to stand up for myself. Also, as a little girl, I thought it was so cool to see a lady be out there with the guys, kicking butt and taking names. In an era where a lot of young boys told me “Oh, you can’t do that because you’re a girl!”, Helga helped me to grin and say: “Oh yeah? Just watch!”.

As an adult she actually helped me in a way I didn’t expect. As an adult, Helga REALLY made me think. In an odd way, I guess she’s an example of what happens when you go with the flow of things; When you stay silent in a situation and go along with it, even if you know deep down that it’s wrong. That there are consequences to every action you take and yes, standing by and doing nothing is also a choice. Also, be careful who you give your loyalty to; That you can give absolutely everything to somebody but that they might not be willing to do the same for you. Sometimes, people can and will throw you under the bus (or off the hot air balloon in Helga’s case) for their own gains. This is something I learned the hard way and I’m still recovering from it over twelve years later. But hey at least I didn’t fall several stories onto solid pumice!

Also, for the love of god, do NOT screw around with special things from other cultures. ESPECIALLY if you don’t understand its significance! You could end up as a living rock!

Lastly, real life adventures can be scary but they are SO worth it! It’s better to take chances, especially if you have a dream that you want to accomplish. It may be terrifying and you may hit rock bottom and sometimes you’ll downright fail but don’t let that stop you. If Milo can do it so can you.

Night all!

[aniimamundi]

Married to a Brute Chapter 2 now up!

"So, did you read Night Terrors? Howlingoblin’s latest Golazar that I owled you?"

"Uhhh....yeah."

"Did the snake part absolutely blow your mind?"

"Yeah…yeah the snake. That snake killed so many people."

"Killed so many people?? What are you talking about? The only snake part in the whole story is when Sal has tied up Godric spread-eagled on his bed and then he commands the snake in parseltongue to....you know.."

Gregory looked a bit green in the face.

"How did you miss that part? That story is famous for that part."

"Actually Draco, I've been reading Golga fics lately. I really like those."

Draco was gobsmacked. "Golga? Surely you don't mean Godric and Helga Hufflepuff!"

His instinct was to savagely make fun of that pairing because who even read Golga fics?? There was no contention, no dilemma, nothing to make the plot interesting. Godric and Helga probably just held hands and skipped around a field of daisies with a litter of crups on their heels. He managed to temper himself though. Gregory's friendship was important to him and he didn't want to hurt his feelings. He didn't want to be like Pansy, coldly dismissing what your friends said.

"Oh!" he remarked, "But...isn't that...you know..boring?"

Gregory's face had lit up. "No. They're really sweet, and romantic. Plus, Golazar fics are so dark. I feel really uncomfortable reading those.”

“What do you mean?”

Greg looked a bit scared, so Draco tempered his expression. “What do you mean?” he repeated in a sweeter voice.

“It’s just..the last three stories you sent me had Salazar holding Godric prisoner in a dungeon and manipulating him into having sex.”

“That’s just one type of stories. I thought you liked those. There’s all sorts of Golazar fics. There’s one in which Sal sacrifices his life to save Godric and Godric only realizes after he’s dead. It’s a real tearjerker. I’ll owl you that one.”

Gregory was avoiding eye contact and looking guilty. “I’ve tried others but they all have a dark vibe. It makes me feel weird.”

He was beginning to feel offended. “Well it’s just fiction. You don’t have to be so judgmental about it.”

“No Draco No! I’m not being judgmental. I’ve always thought you had great taste. It’s just not for me personally. Honestly, I can see the appeal of the ship though. It’s so intense. It’s like you and Potter.”

Draco felt himself go red in the face. He gave an embarrassed laugh. “No it’s not. Godric and Sal are friends to enemies to lovers. Potter and I were never friends. And now we’re…we’re just enemies.”

“Golazar isn’t real though, but you’re going to marry Potter,” replied Gregory, sincerely, without any hint of irony.

[cssiop]

AT TWENTY... jadon sancho

leaving the one jadon fell for behind to play in england is not that easy. especially not at twenty.

(this imagine takes place when jadon was still playing for bvb)

jadon sancho x fem!oc word count: 1.3k

WE ARE NOT SERIOUS WHEN WE'RE TWENTY. the pressure of the adult world hasn't quite set in yet, we get ready every weekend and go out again and again to forget the frivolous stress of everyday life. we're also beautiful when we're twenty, under cloudy skies or in bright sunshine, we glow when we're twenty, age and trouble haven't caught up with us yet. moreover, we're free at twenty. we dance all night long, without worrying about the next day's prickly alarm clock, the one that makes us grumble and then regret. at twenty, we don't know much, yet we think we know everything. halfway between arrogance and insouciance, we think we're on top of the world, giving our opinion on everything and anything, believing that it's the right one, judging the world casually. in short, we're not serious when we're twenty, and our love stories, even less so.

so why couldn't jadon restrain the needle that pierced his heart the moment he met her eyes for the first time that night? straight as a line in the dark, he could almost mistake her for a street lamp, but her eyes, far too piercing for his taste, read his soul and the doubts that ran through his head. the cold was freezing his bones, his hands, his head, his feet, his mouth, his body — him — and he wondered if she felt it too, this cold. funny enough, it was mild in dortmund in this month of may, spring had already arrived and the flowers were blooming. but there was still this cold that enveloped them, this atmosphere, that asphyxiated them; the ones that meant that nothing would ever be the same again. the ones that prevented them from looking into each other's eyes as they used to. the ones that hurt.

the news had come this morning, like a blow to the head, a sharp blade splitting the heart in two, a machine to make people sad. the news had come this morning, and helga had cried alone in her room. the idea of imagining jadon far from her in another country — happy, certainly — was unbearable for her. although he had not remained secret about his desire to leave for his homeland, the girl had only listened with one ear, denial seeming to be a better option.

oh yes, because i didn't tell you, but when you're twenty, you're not too realistic.

"congrats," she sighed between her almost closed lips, hard to pull apart as if they weighed a ton each. her german accent rolled off as she said it, bouncing against jadon's chest and he closed his eyes for a few moments as if he knew he wouldn't hear that voice again anytime soon — the one that had made him fall in love.

in his garden, at the edge of his terrace, the footballer tried to smile to mask his sadness, to thank her for her kind words, although they were laced with bitterness, but the artificial light that illuminated them betrayed his glistening eyes. he didn't blame her for blaming him, he couldn't really; his reaction would surely have been similar if helga had told him she was going to live far away. hurt was what they were, even though they had only known each other for less than a year, the wound was deep.

the months after their recent meeting had not left enough room for a totally committed relationship, nor great declarations of love. but they had left enough for feelings, the ones that grab you by the throat so much they knock you down. jadon remembered the first few weeks with helga, the overflowing feeling in his heart, something he had never felt so strongly before; Love, with a capital L. the kind that thrills and gives you goosebumps, like in the romantic bestsellers, the kind that made people dream and give them hope that one day they'll be able to live out those falsely plausible stories. jadon and helga were the main characters in those books, everyone's favourite; love at first sight.

the pity of their love story was that it didn't end well, the author must have been in a bad mood when she wrote the last lines, and then put the full stop. their book ended with an ouch, a salty tear, a wet pillow, or broken souls. not with a heart, flowers, or a sweet kiss.

but that sullen ending didn't stop jadon from wanting to fight for her, or from shoving his hands into his pockets and whispering, almost as if what he was about to say was forbidden, secret, "i love you helga."

and the girl held back the wave that had just poured into her for a few seconds before bursting into sobs, ugly sobs, the kind that made her nose and mascara run. she cried with her eyes closed, so as not to look at him, to forget that she loved him too. "you can't say that to me now, jadon, it's so unfair," her sobs redoubled and so did the strength with which her shoulders shook. she cried with her eyes, her heart, her nose, her soul. she cried.

and despite all the signs that nothing was right, and that nothing would ever be right again, jadon still had hope, like a crazy twenty-year-old. crazy enough to sit the girl he loved on the grass before looking her straight in the eye, drying her tears and asking her, almost imploring her in total hope, "come with me helga, please," he felt his voice become more feverish at the end of his words and the girl's lower lip began to tremble with emotion.

as her eyelids were closed, a new tear rolled silently down her cheek, over the old dried ones, before coming pathetically to rest on her neck. with a miserable sniffle, she murmured with a sigh, between sobs, "now that's even more unfair. why am i the one who should drop everything?"

the player was not the type to cry, the streets where he had grown up had taught him too well to restrain his tears, seen as a sign of weakness. yet, tonight, jadon wanted to be weak, vulnerable, like helga, like the one he loved. sharing her pain for a few moments would surely do him good and whatever, he knew she would not judge him. so, a tear rolled down his cheek, like a silent answer to her legitimate question which had only one way out, the hurtful one.

defeated, helga let her head fall heavily on jadon's shoulder, gasping for air as her sobs grew more violent. between two sniffles, a breath, and a nip of her lip, she said, to sink the wound even deeper, "i'd like to jay', i'd love to, but i can't."

jadon smiled sadly, because he understood that she would always put her studies over him. and helga smiled sadly, because she understood that jadon would always put football over her. because at twenty, we still had too much to see, and we couldn't let love doom our future. but, on the other hand, at twenty, we were still not serious, and still free to believe that one day, a second volume of their love story would come out and that their paths would cross again for another, more beautiful ending.

and that even if it wasn't sure, it was at least maybe.

[onlymurdersinthebuildingreblogs]

Season Four: Who is the Killer? (Episode Seven to Nine Update)

WARNING SPOILERS FOR ONLY MURDERS IN THE BUILDING SEASON THREE FINALE AND SEASON FOUR!!!!!! INCLUDING THE KILLER! AVOID IF YOU ARE NOT THAT FAR INTO THE SERIES, IF YOU AREN'T YOU BETTER, IT IS SO GOOD!

Well, it seems that my theory that Sazz wasn't dead yet is wrong. The murderer cleaned up the scene. But I was right that she was writing with her own blood.

Murder Victim: Sazz Pataki

Cause of death: Sniper shot in the chest/Bloss loss (Body was incinerated)

Location of death: Charles Hayden-Savage's apartment

Suspects: (Crossed out if I have eliminated them as a suspect)

Joy Paine (Charles Hayden-Savage's ex-fiance) (Eliminated; Actress isn't appearing this season)

Scott Bakula (Dating Joy Paine now) (Eliminated; I didn't know he was a real person)

Cookie (Charles Hayden-Savage's ex-girlfriend who left him for Sazz; Sazz's now ex-girlfriend)

Jan (Charles Hayden-Savage's ex-girlfriend; Sazz's girlfriend; In prison for the murder of season one's victim, Tim Kono; Strike that, she escaped.)

Vince Fish (AKA Stink-Eye Joe; A very cheerful, socially awkward Arconian with back-and-forth pink eye

"The Sauce Family" (Inez, Alfonso, and Ana)

Rudy Thurman (Christmas-All-the-Time Guy) - Marshall states that the killer would have to be fit and Rudy is a fitness influencer.

Bev Melon

The Brother Sisters (Trina and Tawney Brothers) - They are the current suspect as of episode five, Adaptation but as we have two episodes left they may be a red herring. We usually don't figure out who the killer is until at least the end of the penultimate episode. But this is the current theory: One of the sisters took the shot and the other sister who is strong enough to briefly lift up Oliver, cleaned up the scene and dumped Sazz into the incinerator because she called Bev saying there was a problem with the movie. They are not the killers.

Marshall P. Pope (Suspect; Injected himself into investigation; Unassuming)

All of the Westies (We still have two episodes left, so it's probably not them. It's probably some other weird thing)

Notes I Think May Be Important:

Sazz was shot but her body was moved. (Once Upon a Time in the West)

Sazz has had multiple joins replaced by metal in Bulgaria. (Once Upon a Time in the West)

Sazz's body was incinerated (Once Upon a Time in the West)

Charles may have been the target as stated by Mabel and Oliver, she was shot in Charles' kitchen when she always dresses like Charles. (Gates of Heaven)

Sazz thought there was another murderer in the building (Gates of Heaven)

The owner of the apartment is "M. Dudenoff" is a professor who is conveniently out of town (Two for the Road)

Everyone in the West Tower seems to have ham radios and ham-centric things. (Two for the Road)

I may consider Eva Longoria a suspect based off on how she acted in Rudy's apartment.

Someone knew Howard was in the Dudenoff apartment and slipped a open audition flyer under the door and they knew he wouldn't be able to resist. (The Stuntman)

Why was Bev Melon at Sazz's stuntman dream place? (The Stuntman)

Bev thinks someone on the movie may have killed Sazz (Adaptation)

Marshall states that the killer would have to be fit if there was one. (Adaptation)

Charles thinks it may have been two people. One to make the shot and one to clean up. (Adaptation)

Zach and Glenn were shot, possibly mistaken for Oliver (Blow Up)

Who else died in the building? Was it Dudenoff? Because we haven't seen him in person. (Blow Up) (Yep, confirmed.)

The signatures for Dudenoff at the bodega don't match because it was all of the Westies (Valley of the Dolls)

The actors speculate that the killer has been after the trio since season one (Valley of the Dolls)

The Westies didn't kill Dudenoff, he committed suicide and requested that the Westies cash the checks so they wouldn't lose their apartments. (Lifeboat)

Sazz told Helga that her stuntman in Project Ronokonkama was harassing her and that he was going to be the death of her and it's credited as Glen Stubbins. (Lifeboat)

The Concussions Bartender claims that Sazz's original stuntperson on Project Ronokonkama had to be replaced with Glen and Sazz had to blackball the original stuntperson.

Glen is anxious to speak to the trio about the stuntperson.

Glen was smothered by a pillow in the hospital.

The stuntman stole Ron Howard's boots that have the same boot heels as the footprint on the radiator.

The stuntman's name is Rex Bailey who is actually Marshall P. Pope.

Sazz had already written the script for the "Only Murder in the Building" movie.

[spacemanxpaninis]

Who in Hogan’s Heroes is Most Likely to Be With an Alt Person?

Inspired by a chat in my discord 😌 enjoy HH fans and alt people, or if you’re me both 😆

MOST

Marya

Hogan

Carter

Helga

LeBeau

Klink

Kinch

Hilda

Newkirk

Schultz

Least

• We all know Marya would be all over you. Flirting with you immediately, teasing you and giving you both compliments and pet names. It becomes her personal mission to fluster you who look so unflappable and also just to put a smile on your face. You are more than your looks to her just as she is to you- you have such interesting stories to tell and her attention will be on you the entire time.

• Colonel Hogan is lowkey into everybody, I said what I said 🤷🏻‍♀️ your alt style is almost like a challenge to him. A danger. What can he say? He likes a little danger. Hopefully that style of yours comes with the teasing attitude he can’t help falling for. Hogan is happy to swap leather jackets with you or better yet you’ll forget yours so he can unzip his and drape it over you, not in any hurry to take his hands off.

• If anyone is to look at you with simple, whimsical curiosity, it’s one Mr. Andrew Carter. He’ll be open approaching you with questions even if they do come out bashful from the way you look at him, the rush he feels at your gaze. Carter hopes your rebellious streak lends to enjoying blowing things up, too, and he’s the most understanding person you’ll ever meet if you feel like you’re different because you know what? So does he.

• Our Miss Helga loves a bad boy/girl 😌 It gives her a rush just looking at you and thinking of all the places you could sweep her off to. How she could escape a dull life as a secretary for some unknown adventure and danger with you. No shame in some little fantasies as she works, she tells herself.

• Louis LeBeau? Our short king who will kill you? Simps for an alt person. You’ve got fire in you and he respects that. And sure, it turns him on a little too. He’s only human, after all! It warms his heart to see you putting spike collars on the guard dogs and being so sweet with them despite your intimidating looks. He probably teases you a lot but is very flirty, too. Comes up with some French nickname for you having a dark side even though you’re so nice!

• Sorry, but not sorry: Klink is turned on by the leather. The boots. The power you exude. The moment you enter Wilhelm Klink’s office and his life, he is a simp for you. He’s wrapped around your finger ready to give you whatever you want. Wine and dine of course and he may try to play you a little music- go easy on him! Or don’t. He won’t mind 🤷🏻‍♀️

• Not that they hurt, but looks aren’t everything to Kinch. He cares more about what’s inside and he respects that the way you dress is your personal expression. It does appeal to him how unique your expression is and he is actually the most willing to try out elements of your style. He just laughs and does voices as you dress him up, reveling a bit in being taken care of since he is such a natural caretaker himself.

• Hilda likes a bad boy/girl too, but she also has more desire for someone to settle down with. You’re attractive and a lot of fun, but she’ll definitely feel a bit of a desire to nail you down. Or maybe you two will simply end up fighting for who gets to pin who down…👀

• Newkirk, for all his antics, would feel a bit insecure in his masculinity around someone with a tough image. Especially when it comes to women, he likes the feminine look and someone he feels like he can have a little control over. Not that he’s fully toxic, but he definitely wants to be the dominant partner and be the one rakishly sweeping you off your feet, not the other way around! He’d need some convincing.

• Sweet Sergeant Schultz, quite frankly, is intimidated by you. Maybe even a little confused when he sees the way you dress and carry yourself. He might even ask why you’re dressed like that not realizing it isn’t for some role or purpose, you just enjoy it! Once he hears that and especially if you show him a sweet or flirty side (or both!), though, you will quickly have him forced to admit he’s attracted to you.

[drkineildwicks]

October Snippets--10/3/2024

Yes I'm posting this on the fourth yesterday was busy.

Anywho, spent a good chunk of the seven pages yesterday working on Ghost's Reign, we're not in updating range yet but we are getting closer to finishing part 1, which is my goal for the year.

“I’m—I can’t even—I’m just so cross with you!” Felix managed finally—apparently this had been simmering for a while.  “I had to reset the days without incident board because of this!  We had finally gotten into the double-digits!” “Wait, we have one of those?” Dibs asked, baffled. “I told him making one was just tempting fate,” Ralph said. “I’m sorry—I just figured that with us not getting attacked by dragons it might be worth making!” Felix railed, waving his arms around.  “But nooo, you have to go and find a way to cause mayhem anyway!  Be honest, you were bored and just wanted to blow something up!” “You’re confusing me with Vinnie,” Momakase said. “You’re still partially to blame,” Helga shot at her.  “Felix, have you done a status report yet?” “No, and I don’t have to do boo—forgive my potty mouth,” he said, holding a hand up.  Considering he also had his eyes closed and his head turned away, he missed the two women raising their eyebrows at him. “So one of us is going to have to teach him about swear words,” Momakase told Helga. “Don’t you think you’ve done enough damage?” Helga asked her drily. “Hey I had help this time.” “At best this is like, half my fault,” Dibs said.

Obake's not allowed to leave them unattended anymore.

[imminentinertia]

Today's the day when everyone is required to add their thoughts on The Eighth Sense ep. 6, yes? Here are mine, and I'll throw them under a readmore because there are spoilers.

It would be nice to be the kind of person who carefully screencaps and illustrates their posts, but alas and alack, there's only text.

I've seen a lot of theorising on most/all of ep. 6 being a dream or a hallucination, and while the cinematographic choices certainly point in the direction of the trip not being entirely real (the bright and slightly fuzzy filters, the sudden jumps, bringing nothing -> suddenly having all the camping gear you could wish for, the dreamy (hotel?) bed room, the shift from both of the guys sitting on the beach to Jae Won sitting alone in the exact same position), I think it might be an unreliable narrator twisting the "real" events of the episode. Not a dream, I think, but not quite a hallucination either.

I raised an eyebrow at the rest stop shop guy (side note: who is he. I want to see more of him in other shows/films) giving Ji Hyun the memory stick, and both eyebrows at him giving Jae Won the fireworks, because it made no sense at all.

But it does make sense if a narrator is edging into an idealised version of his story, where everything is bright and inviting.

From the rest stop on, I (and everyone else...) found the episode very unsettling, and the sudden camping gear really threw me - spare boots, really? When a few hours ago nothing was ready and you'd buy any thing you needed? At the entirely too bright and perfect morning on the beach I was practically squirming. It was so off compared to the cinematography up to the trip starting.

The unreliable narrator is most likely Jae Won. He's teetering on the brink of something, with his therapy and his meds and his father and the broken camera coming to a bit of a crescendo, and while he might not be all out hallucinating, he may be glossing over some things and blowing other things vastly out of proportion. We haven't been shown any hints about Ji Hyun being this unreliable.

So what sort of reality will we get in episode 7? I'm not even going to try and guess, it could go any way from a SKAM type mental crash and return to near normal and happy ending to all out horrible heartbreak and loss.

SKAM (I wonder which version(s)) was apparently used as an inspiration/preparation, according to a live they did, and SKAM's happy solutions for the mains was not necessarily the couple lives happily ever after (Eva breaking up with Jonas because that was the best for her at that point).

However, I note that the domestic trailer is far more upbeat than the international one, it seems from that like it's supposed to be feelgood overall. So maybe an open or happy ending? Yes please?

I also wonder why the tone in the domestic and international trailers are quite different. Could be something about what tends to lure the domestic audience in vs. what gets the international attention, and I don't know enough about the Korean audience to guess whether they enjoy getting a cheerful trailer and then a horrible heartbreak episode.

As for SKAM, back in the remake bonanza days there was indeed talk of making a Korean SKAM. It never came to be, and I absolutely don't want to call The Eighth Sense a Korean SKAM, but a beautiful Korean show that deals with sexuality and mental health? Yes fucking please. Also the reminder that SKAM lurks in the background here gives me a hope to cling to for a reasonably not-unhappy ending. It was utterly horrible watching Even's manic episode and Isak's panic at Even's text in O Helga Natt, but it turned out well.

Life is now, and don't trust your five senses too much?

I don't usually tag my poor mutuals in rambly posts, but perhaps @mynameisnotthepoint and/or @lurkingshan may be interested?

[jadelynlace]

Ivar & Children Part III ⎮Ink Drinker Modern Vikings AU One-Shot [Ivar x F!Reader]

find the series masterpost here.

author’s note: much like what this holiday represents, we’re having the re-birth of Ink Drinker. yes, that sounded much better in my head. 

content warnings: medical jargon, children getting hurt, Ivar and children

word count: 1000+ words

You recognize the address as soon as the report sings from the radio. Despite the nature of the call, you’re worried it’s actually Floki who has injured himself and not his son—and in the confusion the child called for the emergency response. 

When you step into Floki’s home, Hvitserk is right on your six and you’re scanning for evidence of trauma that doesn’t seem to exist. Instead, Helga’s holding their youngest son, Apollo who has just reached his second birthday last week—your mind recalls the quick image of Ivar dancing with him to celebrate before he blows out his birthday candles. Apollo shirt was torn off in a rush and his chest is red—ruby red and you already know.

“I didn’t know he could reach the counter,” Helga nearly cries softly. “Next thing I knew he was wearing my tea,” She adds. “The pediatrician—”

“She told us to take him to the emergency room,” Floki says for her. “I knew this would be faster once I realized who was at work today,” He finishes, winking at you. 

Apollo screams when your chief attempts to take a closer look at the burn.

“Let me try—coordinate with medical control, you know what’s going to happen,” You say.

“When did you become my boss?” He teases.

“When you hired me,” You joke back. “Apollo—it’s me, baby,” You say softly while you pull your mask down. “It’s Miss Y/N,” And the familiar voice calls the boy to calm slightly in your presence. “We’re just going to take a look at you tummy, Mommy and Daddy aren’t going anywhere, alright?”

“Floki, can you pack up some of his things?” Hvitserk asks. “I’ll pull vitals,”

“Do a manual heart rate,” You start, “On his back, there’s no room for it on his chest it’s too burnt—he’s not allergic to anything that you know of, Helga?” You ask and she nods. 

“This is going to give your arm a real tight hug, alright?” Hvitserk says as he attaches the pediatric cuff. “Do you want to try to squeeze my hand just as hard? He then offers, holding up a gloved hand. Apollo reaches out quickly, grabbing the first two fingers and barrels down, despite the soft grip Hvitserk lets out a huff of improvised impression. “You’re a strong little man!”

“Breathing rate is high,” You mumble.

“Mine would be too!” Hvitserk says, “It’s scary when you hurt yourself. We have 110 on 72,”

“Little high, too,” You say. “Can you walk me through what happened, Helga?”

“I had my back turned just to grab the sugar—I didn’t even know he was able to reach that high and I had just taken the kettle off and poured a cup…next thing I knew he started screaming and I—I took his shirt right off,”

“He didn’t lose consciousness?”

“No, he just started screaming,”

“Nothing in his diaper?”

“No, that was the first place I looked too—it just got on his chest and on his one wrist—oh sweetheart I’m so sorry I should have known better—”

“Helga these things happen to all parents, this is how we learn,” Hvitserk says.

“Helga,” You start, “There’s not much we’re going to be able to do from our end. We can give him pain medication but he’s going to have to be air lifted to a burn center,” You say firmly. “Now, they’re going to put him in a burn dressing—for someone his age it’ll likely be a silver sulfadiazine suit or a biobrane dressing. From what I can see, it looks like a partial thickness burn, which is what we would prefer over a full thickness,”

“Phoenix is still in school—how far is the center?” Helga asks.

“A few hours away,” You start. “I’ll call Ivar,”

“Thank you,” She says to you. “I can’t think straight right now,” 

*

When Ivar knocks on the door to the classroom, he’s greeted with the warm smile from Phoenix school teacher.

“His father called you?” Ivar asks.

“He did, Phoenix has not stopped talking about it since we told him,”

“Mr. Ivar!” Phoenix beckons. “It’s Mr. Ivar,” He says proudly to his teacher. Ivar kneels to his height before speaking:

“How about you and I go get something to eat?” Ivar suggests.

“Tacos?” The child requests.

“A man wise beyond his years,” Ivar hums, lifting Phoenix’s backpack onto his shoulder.

*

Ivar waits. In doing so, he watches the child before him inhale one taco after the other. He can hardly see Phoenix chewing. Finally, as his mouth slows, he peeks up at Ivar through eyes that match Floki’s perfectly.

“What did you do today, Mr. Ivar?” “Did you go to work?”

“No, no, I was off today. I talked to Y/N, and I talked to your mommy and daddy about Apollo,”

“Why?” Phoenix asks, Ivar takes in a breath and mentally prepares himself.

“Little brother got hurt, he’s with mommy and daddy at the doctors,”

“I hurted myself on my bike the other day,” 

“Yes, I remember, and what happened?” Ivar asks.

“My knee was all red,”

“Little brother hurt himself with Mama’s tea. Remember how mama likes her tea each morning? And how Mr. Ivar drinks his coffee, and so does Y/N?”

“Daddy says Miss Y/N drinks coffee like it’s ‘going out of style’,” Phoenix replies, air quotes and all—it makes Ivar snort.

“Yes, well Apollo got the hot tea on himself, and on his chest. Do you know where your chest is?"

“Right here!”Phoenix replies. “And, here is my heart—mama says that’s where kindness comes from,”

“Mama’s right,” Ivar starts. “Now, do you remember when Mr. Ivar was at the doctor’s office after he hurt his legs?”

“Daddy said not to touch them,”

“That’s what it’s going to be like for Apollo—we have to make sure we don’t touch where he hurt himself because it’s going to be sore—just like your knee when you fell off your bike. Now, I was thinking maybe we could draw a picture for little brother, so he can feel better when he’s home?”

“Mr. Ivar?”

“Yes, little man?”

“Is Apollo going to be alright?”

“He’s going to be just fine—Miss Y/N and Mr. Hvitty made sure of it,”

“He got to go in the am-bu-wance?” Phoenix gasps. “I went in one when we saw them at the school!” 

“He did,” Ivar replies, leaving out the part where he was also air lifted in the helicopter, because he knows that Phoenix will be asking you for that for the next year once he finds out. 

As Phoenix makes sure to leave no crumb behind, Ivar peaks down at his phone to see your message:

All set at the hospital, see you tonight xo

“Ready for the art store?” Ivar asks.

“Can we get a taco to go, for later?” Phoenix asks.

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[doolallymagpie]

well, shit, i ended up deciding that helmut gellerson-winfield, father of herbert and helga, ancestor of helena (and hiram, but who gives a shit about the guy from goge vandire's time), is not fucking dead

herbie and hel decided that, since their dad was a raging sexist who wanted the inadequate heir to inherit his warrant of trade, he didn't get to die, and instead entombed him into some kind of dreadnought-like machine

so, y'know, he's like mr. house if mr. house had to wait for the stellar winds to blow his way before he could start hatching plans (and hatch them he does, when he's not basically a helbrute without a war machine to drive)

[yujo-nishimura]

"Told you so..." - Part 12

This is a private ongoing fic just for me and @lostfirefly

Since tumblr doesn't let me post it privately I need to share it publicly, but feel free to scroll through the content, since this is just for our own amusement. ;)

Plot twist! :D And we are almost at the end... Not really happy with this part, so I might edit it more later.

As Crocodile and Yujo reached the designated meeting spot, they couldn't locate Buggy and Helga. Behind a nearby pillar, the pirate clown and his girlfriend swiftly dressed themselves, Helga carefully adjusting Buggy's hair and checking for any smudges on his clown makeup. In return, Buggy ensured Helga's makeup was flawless, ensuring no traces were left on her neck or cheeks.

"Did they leave without us?" Yujo asked, her confusion evident as she scanned the area.

"They couldn't have opened the gate without us," Crocodile stated, stepping closer to the imposing iron gate. He extended his arm and touched the sturdy wooden door, effortlessly transforming it into sand within his grasp, opening it up.

A realization dawned on Yujo as she observed his display of power. Crocodile possessed the ability to drain the life force from others using his devil fruit powers. He had already touched her twice, yet he had deliberately chosen not to harm her. In that moment, a wave of pure affection washed over her as she looked at Crocodile.

"Let's go and find ourselves a ship," he murmured, leading the way and stepping out into the sunlight. A fleet of Navy ships awaited them, as if anticipating their arrival.

"Looks like they've been waiting for us," Crocodile chuckled, swiftly dispatching the guards with a swirling sandstorm of his powers.

Without hesitation, Yujo tapped into her water powers, joining forces with the former warlord. As a cascade of water enveloped the area, rendering half of the guards unconscious, Buggy and Helga appeared behind them. Helga swiftly joined the battle, lending her skills to the attacks, while Buggy utilized his chop chop fruit powers to deliver devastating blows against the marines. In a matter of moments, they had cleared the path ahead, their combined efforts proving effective.

An eerie silence sank now on the main entrance of Impel Down. 

“I thought you guys had bailed on us..!”, Yujo said in a brief moment of respite, smiling at Buggy and Helga. 

“We just waited for you guys to clear the way ahead. Now we can get us a ship!”

Ahead of them stretched the vast expanse of the ocean, the calm belt offering no wind to propel the sails of the navy fleet ships that had anchored in front of Impel Down. In this brief moment without the guards attacks and the tranquil silence of the sea, the four escapees found themselves uncertain of their next move.

As Yujo gazed forward, the imposing Gate of Justice came into view, blocking the only viable path out of Impel Down. It suddenly dawned on her that their plans needed to be changed in order to make their escape.

"Helga!" she called urgently, "Can we send you and Buggy ahead to secure a ship for us? Are you prepared for another water impact?" A smile played on her lips, but her eyes betrayed a profound sadness.

"Sure, we can go ahead and get things ready for you guys!" Buggy responded cheerfully, seemingly relieved at the prospect of leaving the prison behind first.

Yujo acknowledged with a nod, her gaze shifting to Crocodile. However, before she could activate her powers, he stepped forward, halting her in her tracks.

"Wait a minute, Yujo," he called out, using her name for the first time. There was a hint of realization in his voice. "Buggy, you wretched clown!" Crocodile's eyes turned cold and indifferent as he locked his gaze onto the blue-haired pirate. "Take care of your girl. If we cross paths again, you better tell me how a sorry excuse of a man like you managed to win over such a fine lady."

"As if you ever stood a chance with any woman!" Buggy retorted with a scoff, preparing himself to be propelled onto a ship by another powerful water fountain.

However this time, Crocodile swiftly summoned a sandstorm, propelling Helga and Buggy onto the nearest marine ship, which had been left vacant after all the troops were deployed inside the prison for defense.

Yujo looked at Crocodile in shock. "I was supposed to send them up. And you should have followed them."

With a sidelong glance, his eyes narrowed in determination as he spoke. "I know what you plan to do. Why would you think I'd leave you alone here?"

A mixture of surprise and gratitude washed over Yujo as she absorbed his words, realizing that Crocodile had no intention of abandoning her in her next step. 

“Goodbye, you two..!”, she whispered, knowing Buggy and Helga would not hear it. 

[abyssower]

Grasping his large palm with her own, so small in comparison to his, she raised his hand to her lips and, gently blowing on it, kissed it softly. The warm breath warmed his skin as cold as snow.

- I'm not dying here. A common cold - you don't have to sit with me all day, - Einar's voice felt tired and exhausted.

- You worked all day, but I didn’t notice that you felt bad, - Helga soaked a towel in water and put it on Einar’s noticeably hot forehead, - how can I leave you alone now? - he intercepted her hand, not allowing to remove it from the towel.

Helga felt that all of Einar's muscles were tense, which required great effort in his painful weakness.

- Sit down, - she said affectionately, after which the patient obediently followed her words.

Helga sat down on the bed, leaning her back against the wall, and stretching out her legs, she placed Einar's head in her lap. Running her fingers through his shaggy hair, she began to massage his scalp. His body relaxed slightly, gradually surrendering itself completely to this feeling. Gentle pressing in the head area - all that Einar wanted to feel now.

- These are horses galloping through green meadows across a sea of ​​tall grass, - she began quietly, almost in a whisper, - they frolic like little foals who only try to run such distances without a mother, their playful neighing makes birds fly up and rabbits run away. It announces their approach much earlier than the clatter of hooves - she made several stronger pressures in the temple area. - They run across the river like they don't even know the word "obstacle". Cold water washes their bodies, cooling them down on a hot summer day. - She turned the bandage on his head, warmer side up, so that Einar could feel a pleasant chill over his eyes for a few more minutes. - The wind will quickly dry their fur. He will urge them on and on, embarking on a grand new journey, the first of their lives. - She blew lightly on his hair, which made Einar, who had been lying with his eyes closed all this time, smile with a tingling feeling. - The sun will illuminate them even in the darkest forest. It will give shine to their already graceful manes. It will notify them of the beginning of a new day and that it is time to return home. If they get sick, it will cure them with its bright, warm rays, which they will feel with every part of their bodies, - she removed the towel and slowly touched her lips to the forehead of Einar, who was already sleeping.

[enelea]

We start this post of Emma Craigh's birthday with some nice close-ups of little Elca Craigh (eldest child om Vince and Helga), Helga Craigh ( the young woman who stole Vince's heart while helping him out with his older kids from his first marriage) and a close up of Jillian ( Vince's daughter from his first marriage to Jill).

Jillian loves her little half sister and was eager to hold her when she had to blow out the candles. Emma grows up into a beautiful little girl with piercing eyes. She loves yellow and sports her new outwear in white and yellow to match her large yellow bow.🎁

[outpost51]

Happy Blursday!!

Pick five of your favorite fictional characters. Who do you think they would along with best out of all your OCs?

~tabswrites

FISHDOG.

Wait wait hold on I’m supposed to pick first.

Helga from Atlantis; Captain Amelia from Treasure Planet; Jack, Drack, and Nyreen from Mass Effect.

They would all love my darling baby boy in their own unique ways — maybe not as much as Fishdog loves corndogs and socks, but he’s hard not to fall in love with.

If I had to pair them off for activities though:

Helga and Camicidia would be thick as thieves and living the high life with their designer clothes and very nice guns.

I think Amelia would like Vigo? They’re both pretty levelheaded and particular about their ships. Also they end up falling for complete nerds.

Jack and Vadia are gonna go blow up their respective hellish origin labs together — to pair Jack with Jane would be cheating bc they already team up and cause problems on purpose.

Drack should probably stay far the fuck away from the Cassi family because they all like explosives and barfights a little too much, but he and Tiberius could be grumpy old men and cook together. In separate kitchens. And not touch each other’s cookware.

Nyreen is about to fuss over the cranky fuzzball So Much and Atria’s gonna crush on the tall, strong broody.