#and hear about this first
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varpusvaras · 9 months ago
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In the Jedi Council Chamber:
Mace: So, Skywalker, how is the training of your children coming along? Would you wish for someone from the Temple to visit them?
Anakin: No need, Master Windu, they are doing brilliantly, and with the guidance Master Kenobi has been able to provide as well, I might say that- hold on, Padmé is calling. Hello, Angel, I'm in the middle of telling the Council how the twins are doing with their training
Padmé: Oh, you might find this interesting, then
Anakin: What is it?
Padmé: Your kids got busted at school for gambling
Anakin:
Mace:
Obi-Wan:
Plo: Are they playing dice?
Padmé: Oh, I didn't realise you were on speaker, I- *cut off by hysterical laughter in the background that sounds awfully lot like all the Clone Commander's at the same time* - I mean, yes, they've been playing 'left, right and center' as their teacher said-
Wolffe, from the background: For money, for money!
Padmé: - during lunch and they got busted. Leia's been playing while Luke's been making sure they always win by using the Force on the dice-
Kit and Depa, beginning to lose it:
Anakin, standing there, looking very nervous all of a sudden: Uh, are they in trouble?
Agen and Stass, also starting to lose it:
Mace:
Padmé: I mean, they were caught gambling at the High Society Private School. Are they in trouble?
Anakin, looks at Obi-Wan:
Obi-Wan, stares back:
Mace:
Yoda:
Anakin:
Obi-Wan, shakes his head:
Anakin: Uh-
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airoarts · 2 months ago
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yellowfang, i wish you were here. my sister is dying.
ID in alt and under cut
ID: digital painting of Cinderpelt and Brightpaw from Warriors. They are two cats curled around each other. Brightpaw, a ginger-and-white cat, is badly injured with cobwebs as bandages around her face and other injuries. She is unconscious and lying on her side in a moss nest. Cinderpelt, a gray cat, is curled around her with her tail over Brightpaw's back, looking at her with concern. They are in a shaded den surrounded by autumnal ferns, with a pool of water in the corner, and a strip of bright sunlight illuminating their faces. end ID.
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fairsweetlonging · 2 months ago
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truth serum / system reveal au where shen qingqiu gets hit with an uncloaking spell that reveals the system in the reflection of his eyes every time it pops up.
during one of his missions, in the treasure hoard of some dragon-like creature, he finds a golden, oval shaped hand mirror, its gaudy style more victorian based than anything (airplane you hack!), that doesn't seem to do anything when he looks into it. but when he does, it reveals the system's screen in his eyes.
he doesn't notice this, of course, because he can't see it, and the system, surprisingly, stays quiet.
the peak lords think he's cursed.
maybe mu qingfang is the first to notice, during the mandatory post mission check-up, when shen qingqiu is scrolling through his most recently accumulated points and mu qingfang can see the strange vividly-blue lines reflected in his pupils. it's gone when shen qingqiu blinks, like it was nothing but a trick of the light.
it comes out when yue qingyuan is visiting and, just as he's done laying out the plans for a new mission, shen qingqiu's eyes glaze over and a bright blue box takes over the whole of his iris. shen qingqiu goes quiet; the thing in his eyes moves, shifts, pulses for a second, like static worms crawling all over his pupils. then he blinks, and it's gone, and shen qingqiu accepts the mission that yue qingyuan was almost sure he would decline.
maybe there is an intervention, when the peak lords corner shen qingqiu at qian cao peak and try to figure out what's wrong, subjecting him to all kinds of treatments and curse-finding spells that turn up empty, they can't find anything.
of course, the silencing threat is still very much up and running. at first shen qingqiu was kind of confused by the whole ordeal, but when the peak lords start describing a "strange blue box", he realizes, with sickening suddenty, that they're describing the system. and he can't say anything.
this only makes everything worse, because their fellow peak lord now keeps evading every question and acts like he doesn't understand. liu qingge points right at his face and asks, "that blue box, what is it?" and shen qingqiu laughs nervously and starts talking about how bright the weather is and surely it's the sky and nothing to worry about!
even worse, during the intervention the system thought it was a good idea to start talking to him, so now even the peak lords who hadn't seen it and who might have been persuaded by light tricks and reflections, get a first row view that no, that definitely isn't a trick of the light.
they try to do the whole thing of "are you in danger, blink twice" but shen qingqiu can't even do that because it's still a direct admittance!
maybe eventually he starts saying vague confirmations that don't actually confirm anything, like "this master hears what you're saying", or maybe he goes with a classic "this master can neither confirm nor deny that." but the system starts warning him for that too and eventually he stops saying anything, which worries the others more.
luckily mu qingfang catches on that every time they ask a direct question about the box or shen qingqiu says anything vaguely confirming, it appears. it doesn't appear when they ask about curses or demons, so it must not see that as a threat.
for a little extra angst: maybe the peak lords keep pressuring him for answers, and at some point shen qingqiu gets fed up and snaps out something like, "why don't you understand that i'm not allowed to answer that!" the system counts this as a direct admittance, threatening it's existence. so it punishes. shen qingqiu has a qi deviation so bad it lasts two weeks and takes two people every day to cleanse his meridians. the system doesn't appear in that time. it doesn't appear for a long while after that, either. the peak lords stop asking, mainly because shen qingqiu will instantly leave the room if they do. they don't stop searching for a cure, though.
shang qinghua returns from a business trip and catches on the second someone mentions a blue box and forced silencing.
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Yeah, I don't know about you, Fidds, but I'd fold at this 🙏
Previous!!
Next!!
First!!
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weirdsociology · 29 days ago
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hey writers we have to talk.
if you've read any romance or fanfic in the past twenty years (i know you have), you know that there are a certain number of scents associated with hot dudes. you can probably recite the list of Things Men in Fic smell like in your sleep: leather, black pepper, pine, sandalwood, "something uniquely him", clean sweat, and if the character has ever fucking been within 50 yards of a firearm, something called "cordite".
here's the thing.
NO ONE SMELLS LIKE CORDITE.
cordite was a highly specific type of smokeless gunpowder developed in the 1890s by england specifically and used mostly in wwi.
if your good-smelling guy is not (a) english (b) using a very specific type of british rifle (c) dying in a trench in flanders, he does not smell like cordite. technically even if he does meet all those conditions he still doesn't smell like cordite because he smells like trenchfoot.
the point is, cordite is so far from universal that no one but the most hardcore gun nerds give a single shit about it. making your Sexy Hero smell like cordite is like naming a cassette-only bootleg live recording from the 1970s as your favorite grateful dead album. everyone at the party hates you immediately and knows you're doing it for clout. also, it's just factually... wrong. please stop. i know everyone else is doing it, but you can do the right thing here, i believe in you.
so what do people who are using guns smell like?
well if your story is set before the late 1880s, the smell of a fired gun is black powder, which, unfortunately, smells like seventeen flatulent cows have been shoved in a tire factory. trust me, you do not want your Hot Dude to smell like black powder. it's b a d.
if your story is set after the late 1880s, guns are using some variety of modern 'smokeless' powder - which speaking broadly doesn't really have a ton of scent when used. it does have some, but it's sort of non-descript: the best way i can describe it is the sweet, ozone, hot-plate smell of popping your car hood with a warm engine.
people who use guns a lot don't smell like fired guns all the time anyway, so while those scents might work in a fight scene, they're not realistic all the time. but there are some things that your Sexy Shootist will smell like basically 24/7 and that's metal and gun oil. metal you can go and sniff (i recommend non-stainless steel), but if you want a reference, most gun oils have a sharp, organic smell that's not dissimilar to canola oil but muskier and with a tang overtop. it's not unlikely leather is in the mix as well due to routine handling of leather equipment and gear. modern gear also tends to have a certain smell although it varies by production country and storage conditions - lots of opportunities there.
in conclusion: gunslingers and hired killers and military folks can be sexy and smell great on page, but i am begging you not to say "cordite" when you mean "gunpowder" ever again. we can do this. we are writers and therefore pedants. i believe in us!
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elegyofthemoon · 9 months ago
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It's still surprising to see people say that when they see the upcoming strike post I made that this is the first time they're hearing about it, especially because I've seen several posts now talking about the same strike.
That being said: regardless of what kind of blog you are, please spread the news about the genocide, the strikes, boycotts, etc.
Even if you are a small blog, spreading word allows for more people to know what's going on and also do their part in protests and strikes, and maybe even the right people will be able to do more than what you're able to do.
And reminder: there is an upcoming strike on February 18th-25th. Prepare accordingly, protest, boycott, call your reps, and spread the word so more people are aware.
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waterthatsmoe · 26 days ago
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"Yuu?"
"Is this a joke?"
"Yuu repy back"
"Reply*"
"Yuu, this isn't funny"
"Reply back or I'm coming straight to ramshackle"
06 : 49 undelivered
"Yuu where are you"
"Yuu reply back"
"Please"
07 : 09 undelivered
Part 3 [next] | Part 2 | Part 1 [prev]
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jedi-starbird · 9 months ago
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'Desert hermit Ben Kenobi develops a reputation as a crazy wizard because he keeps talking to thin air.'
No. This is Tatooine, talking to yourself is hardly the weirdest thing they've seen. Ben Kenobi, however, keeps having full on fucking screaming rows with thin air and seemingly gets replies back, which is decidedly a step up.
(They've managed to piece together that a major point of contention is the acquisition and raising of a child? Clearly Ben is a wizard that had a bitter divorce with a desert spirit and is working through a custody dispute)
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sscarletvenus · 1 year ago
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"both sides are suffering" really? because one is buried under rubble without any access to food, water, sanitation products, no fuel for ambulances, no electricity to support incubators for preterm babies, no proper beds or equipment for major surgeries, using vinegar as disinfectant, relying on phone lights to operate, has run out of body bags, had their largest bakery which received humanitarian aid bombed immediately after while the other is dancing and feasting and rejoicing and making tiktoks in clean clothes and brightly-lit rooms with electricity...
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somnimagus · 10 months ago
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out of the frying pan and into the fire and into another frying pan that's also on fire
[id in alt text]
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kensatou · 8 months ago
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you think YOU had a bad day at work?
bonus: sid shrieking "no!!!! NO!!!!!" loud enough to be heard in the stands and on camera
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I’m curious - people always seem surprised that multiple siblings are queer, as if it’s amazing the gay lightning struck twice so close together.
But human variation is down to our genes and external factors. Siblings are logically more likely to both/all be queer than not.
So a wee poll if you don’t mind!
Anyone can take part, there should be an option for anyone but please let me know in notes if I missed anyone.
For reference: queer is anyone who wouldn’t describe themselves as heterosexual or cis-gendered or allo-sexual. Anyone we would include in the queer group. And if you’re not including people by their own identification, we can have words after…
Notes:
If you only have one sibling use the relevant all option.
If you have an issue with the word queer I truly don’t want to hear about it - that’s your choice, this is mine.
Reblog if you fancy! If you don’t then no worries, but if you can it would be nice to get a lot of replies!
And hey everyone, happy Pride!
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coffinwoodx · 6 months ago
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couple of screenshots of kim’s wikipedia page that i felt so deeply in my soul
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inkskinned · 9 months ago
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before you know about women, you hear that you do not need to love the man, just that you need to love him through his manhood. which is to say you have seen the future painted in lamb's blood over your eyes - how your mother shoots you a look about your father's inability to cook right. how your aunt holds her wineglass and says i'm gonna kill em. men, right! how your best friend bickers with her boyfriend, how she says i can't help it. i come back to him.
you learn: men are gonna cheat. men aren't going to listen when you're talking, because you're nagging. men think emotions are stupid. they think your life is vapid and your hobbies are embarrassing. men will slam things, but that's because men are allowed to be angry. if you get loud, you're hysterical. if a man gets loud - well, men are animals, men are dogs, men can't control their hands or their eyes or their bodies. they're going to make a snide comment about you in the locker room, about your body, about how you're so fucking annoying. you're going to give him kids, and he will give you the money for the kids, and you're going to be running the house 24/7 - but he gets to relax after a long day, because his job is stressful. the man is on stage, and is a comedian, and says "women!"
and you are supposed to love that. you are supposed to love men through how horrible they are to you - because that's what women do. that's what good women do. wife material. your father even told you once - it'll make sense when you're older. it was like staring down a very lonely tunnel.
it feels like something's caught in your throat, but it's all you know, so. it's okay that you see sex as a necessary tool, a sort of okay-enough ritual to keep him happy, even though he doesn't seem to care about happiness as-applied-to you. it is relationship upkeep. it is kissing him and smiling even though he didn't brush his teeth. it is getting on your knees and looking up and holding back a sigh because he barely holds you as you panic through the night. it's not like the sex is bad and you do like feeling wanted. and besides! he's a man! like... they're another species. you'll never be able to actually communicate, right. he isn't listening.
you just don't get it. you don't feel that sense of i'm gonna climb him like a tree. mostly it just feels fucking exhausting. you play the part perfectly. you smile and nod and are "effortlessly" charming. and it's fine! it's alright! you even love him, if you're looking. you could have good life, and a good family, and perfectly happy.
in the late night you google: am i broken. you google i'm not attracted to my husband. you google i get turned on by books but not by him. you google how to get better in bed.
the first time he yells at you, it almost feels like blankness. like - of course this is happening. this is always how it was going to end up. men get angry, and they yell, and you sit there in silence.
you mention it to your friend - just the once - while you're drunk. she shrugs and says it's like that with me too, i just try to forget and move on. men are always gonna hear what they want to. pick your battles and say sorry even though he's in the wrong. you play solitaire online for a month. you go to your therapist appointment and preach about how you're both so in love.
after all, you have a future to want. nobody lied about it - how many instagram posts say marriage is hard. say real love takes work. say we fight like cats and dogs but the best part is that we always make up. how many of your friends say happy anniversary to the best and worst thing to ever happen to me. if you really loved him - loved yourself too - you'd accept that men are just different from you.
the first time she kisses you, it's on a dare at a party. something large and terrifying whips through your body. you wake up sweating from dreams where her mouth is encrusted with pearls and you pick them off one by one with your teeth. fuck. you sit at the computer and your almost-finished game of sim city. you think about your potential perfect life and your potential future family. you google am i gay quiz with your little hands shaking.
you delete each letter slowly. you don't need to love him. you just need to keep going.
#warm up#writeblr#this is also about being ace btw#my identity has slowly shifted over time and maybe if everyone is REAL cool i'll talk bout it#bc it's complicated and nuanced. but this is like#trying to warn u that if you find it “relationship upkeep” to have sex with ur partner#and don't actually enjoy it or seek it for urself. u might just not be attracted to them.#which is fine ! ace ppl can be perfectly happy in any relationship they feel good in!#but also i wasn't as straight as i had expected!#> the first time i saw dick i was like. huh. oh okay that's fine i guess#> the first time i saw pussy i was like. WAIT ACTUALLY HANG ON I GET IT#i just assumed sex wasn't all it was cracked up to be ya know#but also like. btw? this IS NOT saying ''u might be gay not ace''#bc tbh i'm grey ace/demisexual#it's saying u might not be into ur partner. explore urself & ur feelings. turn inward.#TAKE THIS IN THE MANNER IT WAS MEANT> GENTLE AND KIND#AND NOT IN A WEIRD INTERNET WAY PLEASE#bc the truth is that there ARE ppl who are gay who assume that they just ''don't like'' sex#and ace ppl who might need a different partner w/different needs#and i would have REALLY needed to hear ''check in w/urself about if u actually like sex''#WAY EARILIER in my life. but nobody said anything bc they assume if ur having sex. u like it.#not just the actual act of sex. not once ur turned on. do you ACTUALLY like it. or is it a burden?#even if ur gay. check w/urself. maybe ur more ace than u realized. in which case. ADDITIONAL FLAG BB#i love collecting my flags. i'm at like 354 at this point#but also btw this is about how toxic relationships are SO normalized that u can be in one#and have everyone around u being like ''THATS JUST MEN LOL''
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raphaerolo · 7 months ago
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Tasuki
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sualne · 1 year ago
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bonclay time
(timeline)
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