#Rex is not laughing

[varpusvaras]

In the Jedi Council Chamber:

Mace: So, Skywalker, how is the training of your children coming along? Would you wish for someone from the Temple to visit them?

Anakin: No need, Master Windu, they are doing brilliantly, and with the guidance Master Kenobi has been able to provide as well, I might say that- hold on, Padmé is calling. Hello, Angel, I'm in the middle of telling the Council how the twins are doing with their training

Padmé: Oh, you might find this interesting, then

Anakin: What is it?

Padmé: Your kids got busted at school for gambling

Anakin:

Mace:

Obi-Wan:

Plo: Are they playing dice?

Padmé: Oh, I didn't realise you were on speaker, I- *cut off by hysterical laughter in the background that sounds awfully lot like all the Clone Commander's at the same time* - I mean, yes, they've been playing 'left, right and center' as their teacher said-

Wolffe, from the background: For money, for money!

Padmé: - during lunch and they got busted. Leia's been playing while Luke's been making sure they always win by using the Force on the dice-

Kit and Depa, beginning to lose it:

Anakin, standing there, looking very nervous all of a sudden: Uh, are they in trouble?

Agen and Stass, also starting to lose it:

Mace:

Padmé: I mean, they were caught gambling at the High Society Private School. Are they in trouble?

Anakin, looks at Obi-Wan:

Obi-Wan, stares back:

Mace:

Yoda:

Anakin:

Obi-Wan, shakes his head:

Anakin: Uh-

[ofburntorangesuns]

Rex ol' boy

[st4r-t3ars]

[noperopesaredope]

One thing I always find both funny and sad to see in SW TCW fics is the clones not realizing just how fucked up their childhoods and current treatment is. Like, they'll be reminiscing on childhood memories and it'll be the most fucked up stuff you've ever heard in your life, and they'll all be laughing about it without a care in the world as their Jedi looks at them in horror.

I literally read a fic earlier where the first chapter is Rex telling Anakin he's a natural blonde and apologizing for it, saying that he understands if Anakin wants him to be decommissioned, and Anakin immediately loses his shit at the implications. He spends a good portion of the chapter trying to explain to Rex why the Kaminoan eugenics stuff is bad, while Rex is just kind of standing there like "???"

It's all incredibly sad, but also weirdly funny to see the clones be so chill about it while the Jedi are incredibly disturbed and concerned.

[ofskysanddragonsandstars]

As many TBB fans, we really missed out on Echo becoming a true member of Clone Force 99. Like yeah, the unresolved trauma, not to mention Fives, but we all known Echo is a little shit, and has been a little shit since his cadets days.

Let's explore this a little more.

Show me Echo finally getting to spar with someone, anyone, and just pulls a nasty move to win. You know, the kind of move that is downright dirty? We all know what i'm talking about. But show me TBB standing there in shock that this twig of a reg just took down someone twice his weight. He does not yet have all his muscle mass back yet! This was supposed to be a warm up for Echo. A way to build up his strength. Instead they get reminded that Echo is an ARC trooper and he has been through a lot.

Show me Echo trying to stop a cafeteria fight by reciting the reg manuals, saying "per regulation, fighting is not allowed in the cafeteria, and if you would have taken the time to read the reg manuals, you would have known that. Can you even read?" and Hunter furiously trying to deescalate the situation and failing. Echo gets sucker punched but the other clone does not get off as easily. Apparently he had to spend the night in the med bay. Echo only feels a little bit guilty.

Show me Echo matching Crosshair's snarkiness with his own. Remember "Bravo for Bravo Squad"? But instead of being angry with each other, it starts a beautiful friendship between the ARC and Snark troopers. The rest of TBB don't get how there friendship works and just have to roll with it.

But overall, let's not forget that ARC training happens on Kamino. Show me Echo being called up by the ARC trainer for demonstration purposes. Afterall, it's not everyday a war hero gets to help train new ARCs (except for Alpha-17, perhaps). Show me a bunch of new ARC recruits looking in astonishment because "holy Prime, that's ARC Echo of the 501st! He withstood the worst torture imaginable! He basically made half the 501st tactics with The Captain Rex of the 501st!" only for Echo to just crush there poor little preconceptions. Because this little shit keeps it real with these recruits, explaining the reality of going on a mission with a zero success rate, of going through torture, of having to build up physical strength to the point that no cyber implants hurt anymore. Echo does not hold back and has no filter, his words are practically as blunt as the dullest blade and it can hurt just as much. But even through that, no recruit can beat him in a spar. Yet. It's become a new challenge within ARC training.

Of course, I am a sucker for Mom Echo during season 1 and 2, but let me see Echo being a little shit before that! Let me see Hunter calling Cody one night after a successful mission asking "what is up with this reg? Are all ARC troopers like this?" And since Cody has known the little shits that make up the Domino Twins he just solemnly nods his head while sniggering on the inside. He calls Rex afterwards. Rex just laughs.

[kibby-reaper]

the schwartz twins have me in a chokehold

- mod kibby

[darthmalewife]

Clone Wars era trip to a planet where men dawning lavish dresses is the norm so to follow cultural tradition Obi-Wan, Anakin, Rex and Cody all have to get dressed up and go to this big event

Cody looks fucking fabulous and he knows it, there is a slit in the dress showing off those toned legs and Obi-Wan is struggling to remember the point of the mission

Rex is having great fun, if he spins the fabric flows about and it amuses him greatly, also a Prince just told him he has a sweet ass?!

Obi-Wan looks like some kind of God, the fabric shimmers in the light, noone can keep their eyes off him [this is also how they find out he has 3 tattoos] and the dress is backless so several photos of that man's shoulders as he reaches to grab something are now online also Rex has to keep smacking Cody because he's been staring at his general's arms for quite some fucking time now

Anakin keeps getting mistaken for a Princess and he's not amused, not at the dress or the royalty comparisons he just fucking hates the colour "Obi-Wan, why do I have to wear lavender? It doesn't work with my pales tones everyone knows I look better in black!" "Anakin there are currently 3 women eyeing you up, stop complaining"

On an unrelated note Rex has just been offered a small city for someone's hand in marriage, Obi-Wan and Cody have been given one room to share because everyone thinks they're a couple [they will be if Cody keeps looking like that for much longer] and some politician has already sent Padme pictures of Anakin

There' a poll on the Holonet after pictures are released publicly:

[paimonial-rage]

talks of the past - zhongli

ship: zhongli x reader

synopsis: in which the wangsheng funeral parlor’s consultant tries to restore your faith in rex lapis

notes: 1.7k words, chapter 7 of bookkeeping!verse; with ties to various chapters in the series

It was yet another day you found yourself traveling with Zhongli to Qingce Village. Objectively speaking, it was a beautiful morning. The sun was high in the sky without a cloud in sight, the birds were chirping, and the temperature was nice. Really, there shouldn’t have been anything there to get you down. And yet…

There you were walking with your head down and a faraway look in your eyes. Had you been more aware, you would’ve noticed your companion speaking a few times. You would’ve seen the concerned look in his eyes as he peered down at you. But you were lost in your thoughts, uncharacteristically troubled and insecure.

If you had noticed, you would’ve felt a bit of pity for your companion. It was not often that you were seen in such a depressed state. Really, despite your temperament, you were generally alert and sociable. He often enjoyed the banter that would come about between you two. Truly, you were a dear friend to him. That being said, it wasn’t often you shared your concerns with him. He wasn’t sure if you even would if asked.

He cleared his throat.

“First, is… there anything that’s bothering you?”

It took a few moments for you to respond, almost prompting him to ask again before you let out a long sigh.

“Zhongli,” you began, looking up to him imploringly, “Can I talk to you about something?”

He couldn’t deny the slight start of his heart that came with your question. You’ve brought up your concerns to him before, but those were often accompanied with glares and opinions regarding his financial decisions. This time, however, exhaustion was evident in your voice with dark bags under your eyes. He could not recall doing anything that’d result in your loss of sleep.

“Sure,” he began, careful to keep his wariness absent.

“It’s not a big deal,” you began in a way that implied the opposite. “I’m sure you know how much I revere Rex Lapis. Even though he passed, I still greatly respect the legacy he left behind.”

“Yes,” he replied with a nod. “You’ve mentioned this to me a few times in the past.”

A bit too many, he would add. And with your way with words, it never exactly was… pleasant. At the very least, he was relieved your lack of sleep wasn’t with anything he did as Zhongli.

“It’s just… Lately, I’ve been talking to Madam Ping in my free time, and… I feel like my faith is beginning to be shaken…”

He frowned.

“‘Shaken?’ In what way?”

“I…” You bit your lip as tears welled in your eyes. “Don’t hate me for saying this, but I…”

You hesitated.

“I’m beginning to think he was actually a complete weirdo.”

A… A weirdo?

He cleared his throat, feeling if not just a little attacked.

“In what way?”

You sighed, glancing away with your guilt-ridden eyes.

“In… in every way.”

‘Every way?’

“For instance, take into account Mora…”

Of course, it had to do with Mora.

“Well, I once heard a story that Rex Lapis created the first home out of Mora. I always thought it was metaphorical or just a silly children’s tale, but… Madame Ping confirmed it to be true. When I asked her why he chose Mora, she said it simply was because it was available. He didn’t have any deeper meaning to it.”

He frowned. Ignoring the sense of déjà vu he felt regarding this specific topic, he didn’t see any problem with his actions.

“Yes, it only makes sense. To the God of Wealth and Commerce, what material is easier to get than Mora?”

“Exactly!” You exclaimed suddenly, nearly causing him to flinch. “Only a simple-minded man would come up with such a simple-minded conclusion.”

“S-Simple-minded…”

You nodded.

“Just because he had all the access in the world to Mora didn’t mean the common folk did. Wouldn’t it have made more sense to make the first model home out of materials available to everyone?”

He coughed.

“Perhaps.”

You sniffled.

“It’d be fine if that was the only thing, but Shitou from the Jade Mystery told me that once Rex Lapis stopped by his family’s shop in the past and purchased a spoon made of fine Noctilucus Jade to sample the culinary delights of Liyue Harbor.” You buried your face in your hands. “Why would he spend that much Mora just for a simple spoon?”

“W-Well…”

“I know, I know. As the God of Wealth and Commerce, he had easy access to Mora. And I’m sure it made him happy to contribute to the wealth of Liyue Harbor’s commonfolk, but for someone who spent so much time around his people, it’s like he had no concept of his own creation’s worth! It’s shamelessly extravagant! I didn’t think he was such a wasteful person…”

In the back of his mind, Zhongli had the urge to disagree, to stand up for the good name of Rex Lapis. Really, he wasn’t so shameless as you made him out to be, at least he didn’t think he was. But before he could respond, you continued.

“That’s not all though…” you started again.

Oh no.

“A while ago, I told Meng and the Ferrylady that Rex Lapis wasn’t a self-absorbed narcissist, but…”

Oh no…

“I was talking to Sir Yun the other day of the Yun-Han Opera Troupe? I always knew that Rex Lapis enjoyed the troupe’s shows, but did you know he starred in a few of them? As a warrior, she said. And as you know, Rex Lapis is known as the Warrior God. So that means he basically played himself in operas singing songs about… himself. Can you imagine doing that? How…”

Tears came to your eyes.

“Cringe.”

He resisted the urge to clear his throat.

“Though records say he may have taken part in those operas, I can’t recall Miss Yun stating he starred as himself,” he began. “The assumption he did so is mere conjecture at best.”

That last part slipped from his tongue before he could rein it back in. You never took kindly when his opinions differed from yours, and yet… Well, perhaps he was feeling if not a little attacked. The Yun-Han Opera Troupe had a long history, after all. They certainly would not be more the wiser if some tales became embellished over the years. He thought out of all people you would be more aware of that than most.

Thankfully, much to his relief, you were. Instead of taking to anger like you usually did, you nodded obediently.

“That’s true. I hope you’re right,” you replied with a hopeful smile. “Madame Ping said that not even the great Cloud Retainer watches operas about herself. It’s too embarrassing.”

He did clear his throat that time.

“I suppose not everyone enjoys hearing tales of their past,” he finally let out.

You nodded.

“I’m glad at least she agrees with me that only weird and abnormal people do things like that,” you let out with a bit of relief. “I was getting worried I’m the only person that feels that way…”

He only smiled in response, ignoring the fact that Cloud Retainer only said that it was “embarrassing,” not “weird” or “abnormal.” You really did not hesitate to deal your blows, did you?

“You know what the worst thing is, though?” You asked, looking up at him imploringly. “Legend has it that the gods are able to change their physical forms. There are even tales of Rex Lapis taking a female form. But… out of all the records, there are no depictions of his female form, only that she had amber eyes.”

Zhongli frowned in thought. Though he heard and understood your words well, he didn’t know what was the wrong in what you said. The tales of Rex Lapis were often embellished, especially in the way they painted him as the type to change his form often. The truth of the matter was far from that. Not that he could tell you that, of course. But before he could respond in any way, your eyes became filled with tears.

“I mean, he obviously didn’t mind leaving evidence of his male visage. And as I told you before, he made sure he looked good in every one of them. So if he was narcissistic enough to do that, why not leave anything behind of his female form? You… You don’t think… she was UGLY, do you?” You cried in pain.

If his brain didn’t shut down before, it definitely did then. But not noticing, you continued on.

“That’s the only reason I can come up with. Rex Lapis shares his beauty with everyone, after all, so she must have been so ugly that a narcissist like him couldn’t bear for others to see!” You sobbed.

Every word that left your mouth felt like a blow to his ego. Was this truly what you thought about him?

“So do you see why my faith has been shaken? If we try to view him as a person, Rex Lapis was a simple-minded conceited weirdo that was so ashamed of his female form he wiped any and all traces of her depiction out of existence.”

He couldn’t do this anymore.

“While the tales of the past may be rooted in truth, it’s important to realize they are only that. Tales. Nothing more. As it is, we simply do not know how much we can take as fact. So I would not let it bother you too much, First,” he stated in a matter-of-fact manner.

Though you looked as if you had more to say, you slowly nodded once, then once again with more surety.

“You’re right. I guess I’m looking far too into this. Surely if the great Rex Lapis was revered by so many, even the adepti, he must have been worthy of the respect. I just need to remember that,” you replied bashfully. “I’m sorry to have piled this all on you, Zhongli.”

He shook his head with a chuckle.

“It is alright. I am glad to be your voice of reason.”

Laughing in return, you nodded.

“Yes, thank you. And well, I guess it could be worse, I suppose. Madame Ping was always respectful to Rex Lapis in her stories. She could’ve said that he was the kind of person with… I don’t know. No common sense or something. Like could you imagine if he was the type of person that thought it was a smart idea to bring square cups instead of circle to a party?” You asked with a laugh. “Now that would be horrifying.”

……

Yes, you certainly had a way with words.

[antianakin]

There was an entire major plot element in the Order 66 arc of TCW season 7 about how the chip didn't care that Ahsoka wasn't technically a Jedi anymore and was forcing the clones to want to kill her anyway.

Like.

It's a pretty important part of that whole story that Ahsoka not being in the Jedi Order anymore DOESN'T exempt her from Order 66. It would've been a pretty boring story if that technicality had WORKED.

But somehow the clones guarding Barriss at the prison are totally fine applying that technicality to her.

I guess they just like her better than Rex and the 332nd liked Ahsoka in the end or something. Ironic.

[tatersgonnatate]

In fact, here's one t-rrific example 😁

[emotinalsupportturtle]

reason 523 why Rex is Not Your Lawyer should’ve happened: what even IS this scene??

[yzur02]

*The 501st is boarding the gunships after a battle*

Anakin: *sees something moving inside Fives's backpack*

Anakin: hey Fives, whatcha got there?

Fives, panicking: a smoothie, sir!

Gizka in the backpack: *happy gizka noises*

Ahsoka: what?

Anakin:

Anakin: I'm sorry Fives, but you can't keep pets, it's against the regulations

Fives: *sigh* I understand, sir, I will give it back

Gizka: *pokes head outside the backpack*

Ahsoka: aaw, it's so cute! can we keep it?

Anakin: pets are against the rules and, if I let Fives keep it, everyone will want one too, besides Obi-wan will have my head if I keep ignoring the rules, so no, sorry snips

Ahsoka: *sad puppy eyes*

Anakin: no is no, I'm sorry

Ahsoka: *elbows Fives*

Fives: *sad puppy eyes*

Anakin: *struggling* I will not yield

Every other clone in the gunship: *sad puppy eyes*

Anakin: no, I am a Jedi knight, I am stronger than this

Gizka: *copies everyone else*

Anakin: we can't keep pets

Everyone: *sad noises*

Anakin: however!

Everyone: *looks up*

Anakin: as the General, I CAN recruit republican citizens as officers in my legion

Everyone: *gasp*

Anakin: *looking at the gizka* congratulations on your promotion, lieutenant!

Everyone: *cheers*

...

Obi-wan in the Resolute's briefing room: Anakin, what is that?

Anakin: what is what, master?

Obi-wan: *points at the chair labeled 'Liutenant Cazul' where a gizka is sitting*

Anakin: that's Lieutenant Cazul, master

Obi-wan: *annoyed mom look* Anakin

Anakin: so... fun story, actually...

...

To this day Marshall Commander Cazul remains one of the most decorated veterans of the Clone Wars, and the most mysterious individual in the Imperial databases, nobody knows for sure who was Cazul before joining the 501st, how he looked, or where he went after his retirement, when the war ended, but his legacy lives on every Imperial cadet who grows up dreaming of being just like him.

[coruscanti-arabi]

Apparently "That Business On Cato Neomoidia" was that Kenobi had inhaled some sort of drug and was fighting while high out of his mind and Anakin was called in by Commander Cody to circle back and provide aid.

Why has no one told me this until now?

[robotsandramblings]

lol k k so TBB Scorch actually survives and they take him prisoner back to Rex's clone cell and find out it was his inhibitor chip all along, so they take it out and Scorch reverts completely back to a [Republic Commando] cheery silly joking version of himself

and Emerie, who has worked with this quiet ruthless no-nonsense gruff commando for years, is just like "?????? WHO THE FUCK IS THIS MAN"

[jonahmagnus]

Paranatural fandom rn

[pastafossa]

Got back from my trip back down to my old area and it went... really well actually. For all that I hated, hated, HATED living there, during the last 7 years or so I found a community the next town over that was lovely and supportive and wonderfully kind. Some of them have moved away in the time I've been gone, but I had SO much gd fun visiting with everyone still there, watching the renewal of vows, dancing at the reception, getting tons of massive bear hugs and lots of cheek kisses, and I even popped into their church service this morning to visit a bit longer with everyone (hilariously i did not burst into flames or get thrown out). I missed them so much. It's not my faith anymore, and church is no longer my 'place', but my friends there... I'm glad I didn't have to leave them behind, that we all still love each other, that they're all so happy about me being happy and I'm just as happy that they're happy. And some of them said they'd come up to my city to visit! YES. COME TO ME IN THE LAND OF SNOW AND ICE, VISIT ME, LIVE HERE, MOVE HERE, I PROMISE IT'S NOT AS COLD AS YOU THINK.

Also I stopped at my family's favorite hole-in-the-wall bakery before starting home because I'd called ahead for 2 dozen of their speciality chocolate frosted, glazed cinnamon buns, they are as big as your hand, they're the most delicious things I've ever had, the bakery owner lady literally helped me carry all the boxes out to my car, I am going to freeze them and see if me and the fam can't drag out the supply for 6-8 months, I regret nothing.