#and he's so kind and is so warm-hearted
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ienvieu · 2 years ago
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the irony that is me loving my parents and still them being the two people i am the least honest to and feel the least safe with my secrets
#today was shit#i pray that tomorrow is better#he knows. he understands. he makes me forget. he probably doesnt even know how seen i feel and how much of a breath of air he is to me#he makes me forget when he's nearby even when he's doing nothing and i feel so so safe that he knows#and he's so kind and is so warm-hearted#he is so tender inside and i have seen him cry more than a few times because of things i dont want to mention#and he doesnt push even when he addresses the elephant in the room and i never feel judged#and i only see him thrice a year for a week each time#and those weeks are the highlights of my year#so bizarre how i feel more cared for by someone i barely see rather than the people who raised me#relapsed awfully aggressively when i was months clean and i feel horrible i kept praying for forgiveness. i feel disgusting#mom would it have killed you to just help me#it's been four hours ever since and since then i was distracted by things i had to do but now#then i had to hang the laundry and not having any distractions and being left with my own thoughts made me spiral again#good lord#i just#i wonder if everyone else feels like dying every day like me. she always says that she struggled too and that she stayed up late manytimes#and i know she had it difficult too but our lives have been so different that our childhoods simply can never be compared and i want to#scream and destroy everything but i cant so i can only destroy my own body and im so helpless idk what to do#tw: mental health#i feel so spiteful and i want to show her everything and scream that she did this to me and that it's all her fault#but i love her too much to hurt her like that. it would kill her.#and ig it's all my fault for being a horrible being and for being a failure and turning out ill like this. i just dont know anymore#i think i had an episode of psychotic rage again. everywhere hurts but i still cant get the ugly feeling in me go away
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hinamie · 4 months ago
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I don't want to regret the way I lived
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poorly-drawn-mdzs · 6 months ago
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Good morning, Sleepyhead.
[First] Prev <–-> Next
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#wei wuxian#lan wangji#'WWX was asleep for 4 days' is an incorrect factoid.#The average WWX sleeps for 8 hours. The PD-MDZS WWX who was asleep for 40 comics and 4 months is an outlier.#We are back to present day! I have missed drawing them!#Ah...the contrast between how the flashback ended (cold and distrustful) to how wwx wakes up (warm and watched over)...#The gap between the past and present is very important. Not just in this story but in our lives too.#The past can still hurt and it doesn't just go away with time as some say. It is the power of realizing that things have changed.#We can't get the good back. The bad memories have concluded. Those live somewhere else now.#It is hard to realize that you have to live for today and tomorrow. The past is so loud.#For WWX it is realizing that despite the mistrust in the past - He really does have faith that LWJ will be there for him.#It is the reflection of knowing that you changed and will keep changing and that change is good and kind sometimes.#But more importantly...and this I really do mean with all my heart:#It will all end up okay in the end. Even after the worst day. The most painful losses. You will get through it.#What feels like a breaking point is truthfully just another step you have to take. You'll get through it even though it feels like the end.#There are wonderful things you have yet to see. Friends you have yet to meet.#Even if it hurts so badly...one day it just aches. Someday you'll go a few weeks not remembering that it ever hurt.#Oh and because my izutsumi comic revealed many people were in need of hearing this:#You are loved. Right now. You are so loved right now. We just forget to tell each other that.#Go tell the people you love that they matter to you. I'm assigning you homework!!! You are graded on completion.
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ryllen · 11 months ago
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#reading this meme gives me comfort#twisted wonderland#twst#this is just what i think#who would u swap and where#honestly jack is probably the first and second tier once he gets comfortable with you#like it is so kind and warm it actually makes u forget ur woes#kalim and ace are just the tight huggers that's why they are on the top list#they squish u and that serotonin out#u're just little pouch of serotonin in their hands#trey is between giving u awkward back pat or hugging you#but i like to think even tho he's just pretending his hug is very comforting#deuce is just bewildered confused and flustered that's why he doesn't return the hug immediately#but he sure wouldn't want to let go afterwards#cater might seem like he would give a good hug but i imagine his true self be like o . o and then switch to ^ - ^ immediately after#vil is just a kind person in my eyes#he is mature and calm and nurturing if he wants to#i alter the meme wording by a bit to fit my perception more#if u put the birthday boy icons together it makes a heart omg#ruggie is honestly confusing me#he would probably only hug wholeheartedly if money is on the line#but i think he hugs his family and the kids at the slum very lovingly#idia is probably between the third and fourth tier but maybe he leans more towards hugging back than patting on the back#patting in the back is probably too cool for him#floyd'd examine u first and giving the how dare u touch me look menancingly but then be like ehe bcs it's little shrimpy i'll forgive u~
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sevinite · 1 year ago
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sevenite sketchbook veteran theo makes his humble return to the public eye
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luck-of-the-drawings · 6 months ago
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[OLD ART ALERT] A COLLECTION OF SCENES FROM THE GILLIONS CATSCRATCH ARC THAT BROUGHT ME GREAT JOY. i love fishy chips especially when its just gillion being delirious and violent and hostile
#jrwi fanart#jrwi show#jrwi riptide#jrwi riptide spoilers#JUST NOTICED A MILLION MISTAKES FUUUUUUUUCK BUT WWHATEVERRRRR IF I STARE AT THIS ANYMORE IM GONNA HHUURRRLLL#SO I REALLY LIKE FISH AND CHIPS RIGHT. IVE BEEN IN LOVE W THE SHIP EVER SINCE THAT NAT 20 KISS#BUT I THINK I SHIP IT WRONG. OR LIKE. I AM CORRECT BUT EVERYONE SHIPS THEM DIFFERENTLY#THE FISH N CHIPS I SEE EVERYWHERE ELSE IS SO FLOWERY AND SWEET AND ROMANTIC. AND THATS NICE! THAT STUFFS NEAT#but gillion and chip would NEVERRRR enter anything similar to a romantic relationship. chips too damaged and gillions too uninterested#I LIKE MY FISH N CHIPS ONE SIDED AS FUCK#bc 2 gillion chip is his best friend in the whole wide world but hes also kinduvagross little man that took him a MINUTE to really warm up2#but to CHIP gillion is this powerful and gorgeous and heroic paragon of destiny and his best friend in the whole world who will#bring about the eschaton. 'i didnt believe in destiny until i met you' until i met a champion radiating with a light thatll alter the world#OHH REMEMBER THE FIRST ICE ARENA?he was so mad.still probably shaking from the ordeal.NEVER had he felt true divine radiance CLEAVE through#his SOUL like that.do you remember that moment in the forest w the bugs. an alien from the ocean; lacerating the land w lightning#when the realization flickered in chip for a moment.that the thing standing before him was more powerful than he could ever fathom#remember when grizz mentioned that the nat20 kiss was the 'best kiss chip ever experienced'. that has nothing to do w this. where was i.#LOST MY TRAIN OF THOUGHT. BUT HEY. I THINK at the beginning chip absolutely knew that gill was smth grand n powerful n scary#when gillion revealed what exactly the prophecy was;chip got defensive and mad.sure he was sleep deprived but OOH. HES SCARED!#he believes gillion too! he believes that his destiny is to eradicate either the sea or land and that scares him!#but then he gets past it bc ultimately he trusts his bestfriend gillion so so much. he fuckin loves this dude.#he would throw himself intothe path of fire for this dude. he would boat across the ocean for this dude.he would build arenas for this dude#even if this dude will end half the world.even if this dude wields the power and the obligation to eradicate him at any second.#even if this dude is going to throw himself into harms way for his own comrades.even if this dude is just going to sacrifice himself.#one way or another one shall die for the other.these self-sacrificial bastards click so well with eachother!!#chip believes his body is best used to pave roads and gill believes his body is destined to pave prosperity.WHATEVER!!#i really love their dynamic!! they care for eachother so much!in MY heart tho. the icing on the cake here is the fantasy that chip is#just a bit more In Love w gillion than he realizes. like this powerful fish guy is HOT and PRETTY and KIND and FUNNY and LOYAL and STRONG#but gillion would never rly feel that same sort of attraction towards chip. its just not rly his thing. aroace as fuck man.#thats how it is in MY little heart atleast. and i sit here and play w my touys in my brain n i explore my silly lil one sided fish y chips.
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irodimww · 7 months ago
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past wu literally looks like Lloyd wtf (ALSO YOUNGER WU DRAWING FOR PRACTICE !! I have also drawn present wu lmao)
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karleksmumskladdkaka · 1 month ago
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Diabolik Lovers More, Blood Vol.3 Mukami Ruki Stellaworth Tokuten Bromide & Short Story Paper
Originally, these were tokutens you'd get for buying Ruki's CD through the Stellaworth store. Nowadays you might find them sold at flea markets or second hand stores. The story is written from Ruki's POV, and takes place right after the ending of his CD, with him and Yui still on the rooftop.
Enjoy the angst (*꒦ິ꒳꒦ີ)d
(Don't repost anywhere!)
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curioscurio · 3 months ago
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not to be a freak but I think when Trump loses he will either kill himself or Putin will let loose the real assasins. it's just the smart move like he knows too much and he's losing all the power he used to have lol. like if I were putin I'd be worried about what kind of information a desperate man like Trump is willing to surrender once he's caught 👀
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foursaints · 8 months ago
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hi <3
first of all, i wanted to tell you i'm always stalking your blog (in a non creepy way) because i love everything about it. mostly i love how you use your big brain™️ to share some insanely detailed headcanons about some silly dead gay wizards (i mean that in the nicest way possible. i'm a little bit in love with you actually . anyway i'm digressing)
second of all, i wanted to know if you could share some of your thoughts about bartylily🤲🏻 because i'm fairly sure you're the main reason i'm hooked on them
much love <333
ANYTHING for bartylily... lately i've been attached to the idea of a college au where they're Rival Campus Radio Station Hosts.
barty is a spectacularly unmotivated senior who dropped out of a prestigious engineering degree to study practical SFX for horror movies instead. everyone has vague, peripheral knowledge of him after an incident where he was found passed out naked in the campus fountain. his apartment with the slytherins isn't technically a frat house but there's a structure in the kitchen affectionately referred to as the "Leaning Tower of Miller Lite" & barty has a nearly imperceptible crescent-shaped chip in his front tooth from a keg-standing mishap. he wears a lot of chains and has several john carpenter themed tattoos and he REEKS like cigarettes. so many pairs of mystery panties turn up in his laundry hamper that his housemates have started calling it the Lost And Found.
he has a deeply beloved & charmingly unpolished radio show in the primetime spot which mostly consists of him having his friends on, spotlighting terrible underground bands, and making drily ironical, beautifully mean jabs.
lily is an overzealous sophomore who's triple-majoring in three equally unmarketable degrees (it's, like, polisci & international affairs & communications) who's blessed with the gift of taking every single thing that happens on campus WAY too serious. she runs their Model UN like it's the navy. she's the RA who is always marching around her floor in a spaghetti-strap tanktop & bunny slippers with a scrunchie on her wrist, shaking her fist at people. there was a period following her breakup with james where she was literally reading Machiavelli for inspiration. she's right on the precipice of the cool-girl academic meltdown that will lead to Serious Character Growth, but she isn't quite there yet.
her well-made and well-researched radio show is relegated to the midnight timeslot, and even though all her friends listen to it she probably got into a spat with them for saying something along the lines of "obviously i dont care if its just YOU listening to it, remus!!!". she hate-listens to barty's show which she considers (lily voice) An Affront To Collegiate Journalism
they trade barbs at every function and absolutely nobody but the two of them takes their insane imaginary Radio Beef even remotely serious whatsoever. but it's dead serious TO THEM!!! lily is probably camping out in actual bushes with actual binoculars to sabotage his show, and the worst part is that it's actually working. she ISN'T obsessed with him (shut up!!!!!), and barty is mostly just aggravated on principle that the Uptight Lowerclassman Ruining His Life has such nice legs.
and they absolutely bone like crazy about it
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awakenthebeing · 1 year ago
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I followed you because of ur oc Piepoe she was a beloved legend🫡.....¯\_(ツ)_/¯
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She had her run, hehe. I did plan to post older piepoe doodles I made a while ago but I never got to it, so have this one :3
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hinamie · 3 months ago
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@friendlyneighbourhoodorgandonor first of all thank u for the lovely comments on the art, I'm so glad I was able to convey the right emotion! You pretty much nailed it, I wanted to depict how Megumi is occupying kind of a liminal timeless space between past and present versions of himself. The train interior is meant 2 convey that liminal/transitional symbolism, but also throws in themes of death and rebirth as well as be a little nod to yuuji's domain. his past self and tsumiki are there as shadows (hah) of a time he can't go back to, and in choosing to keep living he is simultaneously grieving the past (younger self facing tsumiki) and looking towards the future (present self facing yuuji). I struggled with the colours a lot but I knew I wanted it warm yet somber. in a word, I wanted it Wistful. Megumi's character and circumstances are terribly bittersweet and he's got a long road ahead of him but above all the message of this piece is one about the beginnings of self-acceptance and first steps towards healing
re: your questions abt the caption, i completely agree the pronoun "them" is a bit tricky here but unfortunately it's lyrics and there's only so much I can do as I am not porter robinson. admittedly i had thought about editing it slightly to make the caption a bit more straightforward but I have too much love in my heart for Shelter and I think that changing the lyrics wld b doing it a disservice.
even with the slightly confusing "them", originally when i realized that the song ws very megumi to me, "giving [blank] shelter" made me think of a few different interactions:
tsumiki offering (young) megumi a sense of comfort growing up and giving (present) megumi something to fight for
(young) megumi wanting above all else to protect tsumiki and becoming a jujutsu sorcerer in the hopes that she could live peacefully
"start by saving me, itadori"
yuuji reaching out to (young) megumi and fighting to rescue (present) megumi
(present) megumi wanting to save people as a general philosophy
I thought that the caption could refer to any and all of those things! but honestly your comment made me realize how the use of "them" actually ties in really nicely with the timelessness aspect of the art itself, because we can't know which version of megumi it's referring to, or who between yuuji/tsumiki sheltered him and who he wants to shelter in return.
I also think that the shelterer/sheltered relationship could refer to both versions of megumi in an introspective interaction with each other. I drew (present) megumi with his arm around his younger self as a way to show that he is coming to acknowledge how much he has suffered in the past, yet resolving to find the strength to keep living and guide that child forward regardless. In this interaction, present megumi is the shelterer. In response, young megumi looks (metaphorically, not pictured in the art) to his future self and makes his own resolution to keep living, to grow up live a long life, in turn sheltering the people he will come to care about along the way. I like the idea of younger megumi as the one being sheltered becoming the shelterer in a show of gratitude for the strength that (present) megumi was able to find. In a way, he is both living for himself And for others. i know this interpretation is kind of convoluted and throws a bit of weird timeline stuff into the mix but thematically the idea of a cycle of hurt turning into a cycle of healing is very powerful to me.
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willowser · 1 year ago
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WILLOWWWW i love love love your dad!bakugou stuff 😫 like omg i just can't get enough of it. also i'm not sure if you've ever done anything like this before so sorry if you have, but imagine bakugou taking his little girl to the zoo for the first time 🥺 and she's just so excited over all the animals!!
omg how cute 🥺 girl dad bakugou has a little home built right in my heart and in my head, i love it so much, i think about them constantly !! 🥺 but !! that's actually so interesting 🥺
because — i can't imagine that bakugou cares any specific way about going to the zoo; like sure, he guesses that he'll go ?? if that's what you wanna do ?? not something he would propose on his own but it's like !! 🥺 getting to witness his daughter in that environment, for the first time 🥺 not something he really thought about, but the pure joy on her face when she's seeing giraffes and elephants and all the animals that are in her little story, learn-to-read books 🥺 and the aquarium where she gets to see all the fish 🥺 and she's just so enamored by how close she can get to see them !! 🥺 how fun !! 🥺
or she wants a soft stuffed monkey that she carries with her everywhere, or some a little headband that looks like fox ears 🥺 gets a lion cookie 🥺 HOW CUTE like this isn't something he thought about doing, but he gets there and so quickly realizes, like, this is new to her ??? this is incredible and amazing and something she's never experienced in her little life, and how lucky he is to get to experience it with her THAT'S WHAT BEING A DAD IS WAAAHHHH 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🩷✨️
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littlecutiexox · 1 year ago
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Got to hang out with my best friend from high school today after not seeing them for 5 years and I’m so emotional and happy
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halfricanloveyou · 1 year ago
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ok ok ok like i thought “the chosen” would suck cause “blah another series about the life and times of jesus” like we GET it it’s been around for CENTURIES you guys make the same damn movie all the time
but it’s actually legit really good? lots of pretty good representation! not everyone in the movie is white. actual portrayals of jewish culture instead of just ignoring that part. disabled people. matthew being autistic. characters that aren’t just two dimensional. the people in it feel like real people. there’s actual jokes, jesus cracks a few and they’re really funny?? so far nothing hateful, no gay or transgender bashing. it calls out the church for being judgemental and hateful in a way that’s very tasteful
it’s not perfect tho. jesus is…still white for some reason? despite mary not being white? and no one else around him being white? no gay people in it which is kind of a bad and a good thing…but it’s a portrayal of jesus and the people around him as human. as real life people who felt things and made jokes and rolled their eyes and stuff. also the guy they cast as jesus is pretty hot as are all the disciples. which isn’t the point or whatever but i can’t say i’m complaining. it’s free online and i think it’s worth a watch!
#it’s an adaptation of jesus that is more realistic#ofc he’s perfect and doesn’t sin but the point was that he was loving and kind and considerate and people all wanted to be around him#he doesn’t hesitate to walk straight into the dangerous or sketchy areas#he genuinely connects with and loves everyone he meets#they take liberties ofc but none of them are bad and add to the series as a whole#also as always i’m still gay and transgender as ever so no trad catholics or whatever touch this pls#but as a christian it makes my heart feel warm#it’s taken so so long to get an adaptation of any kind that depicts jesus as the kind of man who genuinely loves the people around him#not as some deity but as a human being loves other human beings#he is very human in this. it’s something christian’s don’t like to talk about#but if he went around talking like they do to other people#he wouldn’t have been able to last 10 seconds in the areas he was at#he wouldn’t have been welcomed there#it feels more faithful to the actual bible then they ever make him sound in any church service i’ve ever been in#the chosen#seriously check it out! it’s a genuinely good watch#especially if you have an interest in religion in general#i thought i’d hate it but i love it#pls know i’m being genuine abt this#and also the dudes they cast actually could pass as the age the actual apostles and actual jesus were#instead of being like 40-50 lmao#and them being hot is like just an added bonus sorry i have eyes
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throughpatchesofviolet · 4 months ago
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Just got a massive merch haul from my bestie (@regretmeursault) in the mail, and I'm so overwhelmed with happiness ...
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First off, got a ton of stickers for my collection, which I refuse to use (/lh). I do have the Ishmael and Heathcliff designs of two of these stickers as charms, but I'm so happy to have most of the stickers (Hellbat took Meursault, of course /lh).
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Also so many prints and can badges ... it's hard to see in this image, but the -45 button from @/chikos-workshop is perfection in a badge. Also that Heathcliff photocard in the top left--the one next to the Don Quixote--has had my heart since I first saw it as fanart ... he is so handsome ...
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Also these pixel stands ... Ishy is so tiny. Microscopic.
And, last but certainly not least, after 8 months of searching, I finally have ...
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... the Telepole Heathcliff bromide from the kuji event last year. I was convinced I'd never get my hands on him, but Hellbat found a listing with him!!
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