#he knows. he understands. he makes me forget. he probably doesnt even know how seen i feel and how much of a breath of air he is to me

[ienvieu]

the irony that is me loving my parents and still them being the two people i am the least honest to and feel the least safe with my secrets

[laura1633]

Oh wow i have a serious problem i just went over what i wrote to you and i probably should have stopped at the first two sentences but it gets me upset the abuse lando faces i dont even like the guy i perfer oscar, max, charles and carlos but even i know that sending death threats to someone is not okay, and it upsets me that people almost always take his words out of context like when did lando say he actually had a chance at winning the wdc this year? I've seen people bash on him for the latest race where max raced incredibly, but what they dont seem to understand is that the race's terrible race conditions could have actually seriously injured him, we all seem to forget that the guy is younger then max, less experienced, and has huge problems with self-worth that actively seem to affect the way he race's. the fact that max won in the rust bucket that barely seemed to work in favor of the guy is incredable, but bashing on another driver for seemingly not wanting to take a chance with the awfull race conditions (*please note that this is what it looked like to me on what lando was doing that race where he did make mistakes but the weather wasnt helping ether* also note that that franco, oliver and others commented ether on the weather being dangerous, their cars 'Presumably the cars not agreeing with the weather ether', or the fact they couldnt see for shit and out right stated that someone should have a talk with the fia *i couldnt watch the whole race but ive seen snippets of driver radio's and the like, so i cant say with 100% certainty that this is correct*)

So yeah i think that, if i as someone who doesnt like lando, its really concerning what some people say about the guy and as a side note none of the other drivers seem to notice the hate from what ive seen but this last part might just be me. What are your thoughts on the hate lando's been getting seeming to increase anytime he seems to actually want to enjoy racing with the other more popular (equally popular?) Drivers?

🍑anon

Hi anon, 

That’s okay, I will respond to this ask rather than the previous one (but just for context for anyone else the previous ask was about fan fiction so wan’t anything mean). This ended up being a really lengthy answer because I have lots of thoughts!!! 

I’ll put the answer under the cut and tag as anti Lando despite this really just being my opinion and I personally don’t think I am being particularly harsh here but maybe people will disagree.

Firstly hopefully to most people it goes without saying that sending death threats is not okay, that goes for any of the drivers (and various other individuals that I have seen targeted over the past few years). I also have never understood people specifically going to an individual’s social media page just to spout negativity or abuse at them, if you don’t like someone you don’t need to follow them. 

However, I am surprised that people seem to be shocked that Lando is receiving hate online as this is absolutely nothing new and, if I am being honest, I have seen worse (not that this is a competition!).

I will speak from the perspective of being a Max supporter and say that the abuse he has received both online and at track has been appalling over the years. After Silverstone 2021 there were plenty of comments from people saying he ‘deserved’ such an awful crash or that they wished it had been worse. Even this year there were memes going around saying that maybe we needed a repeat of Silverstone 21 (a meme liked by Lando’s dad no less, not that I think we should be blaming children for their parent’s actions!). Not only that but there is rarely a week that goes by that I don’t see jokes online about how Jos is the only one that ‘can beat Max’ or people posting memes about Max being left at a gas station when he does badly. Max needed a bodyguard in Mexico last year because there were concerns over death threats, he’s been booed up on the podium, had people chanting cheat at him in the fan zone, every comment section on his social media includes comments telling him he is a cheat or that his achievements mean nothing. The British media are like vultures any time there is even a hint of controversy. I don’t know why everyone is suddenly up in arms about Lando receiving hate, perhaps its a case of only caring when it happens to ‘their’ driver. 

It doesn’t just happen to Max either. I don’t follow Lewis on social media but I still know the type or racist abuse he has faced over the years. Other drivers also receive abuse - Lance for example has vile things said about him, Nicholas Latifi was sent death threats after 2021. I am sure most if not every driver has experienced some level of hate. Social media can be extremely toxic. 

Do I think any of the drivers should have to deal with such toxicity? No, but Lando is nowhere near the only one to receive hate and I don’t think someone like Max who appears ‘strong’ should have to put up with things because people get the impression it doesn’t bother him.

Whether the other drivers notice, well probably they do but its not happening just to Lando. Did Lando realise how much toxicity was being thrown at Max after Austria or Mexico? Did he try and calm things with the media or did he double down and make things worse for Max? 

As for taking Lando’s words out of context. That definitely happens from time to time, the same as with any driver. Media goes for clickbait headlines and run with them. The problem is that Lando has also said things that haven’t been taken out of context and that people still find distasteful. The comments about it not being talent and being luck did not come across well. I was tempted to give him the benefit on that one and assume he was referring to himself and saying it was not him being untalented but unlucky but then he doubled down by saying nobody deserved to win the race more than George - how can I take that any other way other than the fact he was saying Max didn’t ‘deserve’ to win the race. 

As for Lando saying he thought he could win the WDC, if he didn’t think he could win it this year then to me that would be more of a concern. He has a championship winning car and has done for most the season, if he can’t win it now then when?! He should have been confident that he could win or at least put up a good fight. I would have had no problem with him openly saying he is going for the championship. Look at Charles who is not afraid to say that whilst it is still possible he is still fighting. I think part of the problem here lies with Mclaren because they should have been fully backing Lando and hyping him up but seemed to flip flop back and forth about whether they thought he was truly in the fight. It’s hardly going to give Lando confidence when his team don’t seem to be backing him as strongly as they could be. 

As for Brazil, Lando didn’t have a great race. George got past him at the start. He made too many errors. Charles finished in front of him despite starting behind him. Max, Esteban and Pierre took a risk staying out on those worn inters, they gambled on the fact the race would be red flagged but also on their abilities and confidence to keep the car on track under those conditions. They all did extremely well and deserved their podium spots. The most important thing though is that all the drivers came away without serious injuries because over the course of that weekend there were numerous occasions where entertainment was put over safety. If a driver felt they had to pit for safety reasons then I am glad they took that step.

Lando is younger than Max but I don’t think we need to baby him in terms of his racing or in terms of giving him a free pass with what he says in the media. He is 24 years old, the same age Max was when Max won his first championship under very intense pressure. 

I think you are correct about confidence or self worth affecting him. Whilst I wouldn't like to comment to much on his mentality, to me (and I don’t tend to watch too many of his interviews so I could be wrong) he seems to flop back and forth between being overly critical of himself and then also not taking accountability and saying someone else just had the fastest car or were lucky. I think it would be really good for him to be able to look as objectively as possible about where he has actually made mistakes and can improve but also being able to pick out the things he has done well and be proud of those things. 

Overall I don’t think any drivers should have to put up with the amount of hate that they have to put up with but Lando is not the only one to receive hate and, dare I say it, I don’t even think it has been as vicious as some of the things I have seen over the years. Social media is toxic and people should be more mindful and realise these are real people - all of them!! 

Also, once again lets be thankful that nobody was seriously hurt over the weekend and lets hope the Fia take steps to act more swiftly when safety cars and red flags are needed and that they put safety above other concerns.

[jinbeisluffy]

I see so many posts over different social media platforms about sexuality/gender hcs for the strawhats and i want to add in my own two cents because i believe im very correct (but anyone’s opinion is valid so long as it doesnt go against canon coding)

Luffy - the most aroace and trans guy to ever BREATHE. i dont mean aroace in that hes somewhere on the spectrum where he can still be attracted to people, because he cant. this guy had never grasped the concept of romance and never will, because theres no reason for it to him. hes trans because i say he is, i dont have many reasons for THAT but its just the signals hes sending me. trans to trans communication trust

Zoro - gay. thats it thats the post. no but i dont ship luffy with anyone but zoro is just attracted to literally any man who is strong, thats his criteria and thats all he ever needs. is he aware of it? not at all, he has no idea that its not normal to get bricked up by the thought of other men

Nami - i havent seen a bigger lesbian in media ever, genuinely i dont think any other character is as obviously lesbian as she is. she loves girls unapologetically no matter what, supports all girls at the end of the day (cough kalifa) . i also hit her with the asexual beam because i can, specifically demisexual because i THINK so

Usopp - while i wanna consider kaya, i wanna consider sanji too and thats making me lean between bi or omni even if omni is a label under the bi umbrella. its more a question of if he recognises his preference for men or not, because he does prefer then at the end of the day. the ace beam bounces from nami to usopp because he too doesnt feel anything and doesnt think about it either

Sanji - oh my god where do i begin. maybe just the blatant queer coding of wci as a whole?? of course hes attracted to women, thats not an aspect you can remove or just toss around to being something else. he loves and respects women, but he is so QUEER. all of wci is just queer coding, its a queer story and sanji is a queer character i will die on this hill. he probably has some kind of gender issues too, what specifically? no clue, but he likes people of multiple genders and is in deep denial about it all the time he wont ever truly accept it but he can one day as a treat live with that fact

Chopper - oh hes a reindeer he cant really have a sexuality DID WE FORGET THE FACT HES HUMAN TOO ISNT THAT LIKE HIS WHOLE THING, NOT BEING A MONSTER BUT ALSO A HUMAN. HE IS BOTH? i dont have any specific labels to slap onto him, just that hes a people lover and encourager of literally everything. ace beam bounces onto him too

Robin - trans trans trans trans trans trans trans trans you will accept robin transfem into your life right here right now. she can like anyone, she has no label on it, she just likes people and cant bother with genders or anything like that. the ace beam actually skips her because if they were doing a hear me out cake she’d be the one putting all of the crazy things. freak. (lovingly)

Franky - HOW TRANS CODED IS IT NOT TO REBUILD YOUR OWN BODY TO BECOME A BETTER VERSION OF YOURSELF AND TO REBUILD YOUR LIFE IN A WAY YOU WANT, BUT GOING BACK TO WHAT YOU LOVED ABOUT YOUR OLD SELF, AND EMBRACING IT. literally, trans goals. he modified his body and went i might as well give myself top surgery and an awesome dick while im here!! sexuality wise hes a lover of everyone, but he has preferences for women (robin) but encourages all bromances (with brook)

Brook - THIS IS WHERE IM MOST PASSIONATE!!!! people can say that hes the token straight grandpa. but theyll never understand the joy of old gay brook had a romance with his captain, the joy of brook trying to subtlety let the other strawhats know he accepts them (he isnt subtle at all and everyone knows). look at brook in drag twice for no reason and tell me he isnt queer, in some way. the ace beam finally hits someone and its brook, insert skull joke here

Jinbei - very specifically old gay man who didnt really do much throughout his youth, he always knew he liked men but he never had TIME to do anything, too busy being awesome and a father i fear. now that hes with the crew he isnt automatically gonna seek anyone out, but hes also not gonna restrain himself from finding interests in people, hes being more selfish now and thats good for him. finally the ace beam hits jinbei and proceeds to fly off towards other op characters that i might talk about some other time

can you tell im asexual and love projecting onto characters with it !!!!

[fictionfixations]

all the sad tales

penacony + aventurine spoilers

the wiki probably contains this but for my own sake i need to keep this somewhere.

(it'll be in bold. what im not sure on will not be in bold)

(The murmurs near your ears grow louder, more booming. You can even see another ████ ████████. Let's hope you can hold on until the moment you step onto the stage of the amusement park.)

(whited out parts are parts i cant decipher yay)

im going to try my hardest not to miss anything because i really like aventurine and i want to take my time with this. but i also sometimes have a really short attention span or get too immersed in something that i forget everything else so like...

(You ████████ ██ ██ █ ██████ discovered a strange child -- He seems to hail from the Avgin origins(?)... Weren't they already wiped out?)

(need to stop sprinting. i keep noticing breakable objects or chest so then i sprint towards them and im going to end up missing something instead of just heading straight into activating more of the story)

bby kakavasha runs so fast oh my god (its kind of sad to imagine that he can run so fast probably to run away from well yknow...)

(You are completely entranced by the Avgin boy. Just who is(?) he? There's still time. Maybe you can catch up to him and ask him exactly what █████████.) (happened?) (the extra whited out part on just who --- is probably a space. otherwise it could be was but hm.)

(im going to cry if i miss checking it because an enemy is chasing after me and i run headfirst into story. yes i am a coward who doesnt like starting battles if i can help it. makes me wish i had acheron but id honestly never use her in battle unless i had someone to regenerate skill points considering i have 5 star dan heng, so other attack ppl on team dont get much attention, and i dont really know how to use her beside tehcnique insta kill?? does that mean i can whip out a lvl 1 acheron and it works??)

dont plan on talking about the dialogue too much (i saw multiple people go through the story before i started ngl) but (also aventurine boss creeping up on me... i literally only have one person on team who attacks multiple at a time, and no one else outside of the team is as built)

LISTEN. have you SEEn hyenas playfighting its fucking adorable. call someone a hyena, i call it a compliment.

i missed the first piece of text... i forgot...

(*Ride the Pinball Machine)

still the same

i dont know why but the puzzles in penacony make me lag so bad. the puzzles, the pinball machine, or that dreamweaver thing. bruh.

(*Win the Hide and Seek game and find the Avgin boy)

anyway from what im understanding you can tell how many letters are missing because its as many characters as a character is missing. whenever ive blacked out text i never do that cause its so much bigger than the original text (i do one block for every two letters ngl. but i also dont do it with the intention of people deciphering what it says)

(*Play the roll of █████ film) (wound?)

i dont know film terms enough to even decipher what it could be. it could be color. black. white.

wound? wound as in rolling? like uh uh. past tense of wind. like winding up a roll. a wound roll. cause the description of wounds.. it could be related to his family. or..

I MISSED IT AGAIN 'there is only water, not rock' or something like that

(*Leave the maze)

(*Check the things you(?) lost)

i cant decipher this one 😭. you??? (Leave the maze you(?) █o) but i dont know what would make sense of it then. idk.

oh fuck i forgot to check the objective. its. probably the same as the other one for when finding a 'lost' object but like...

AGHHH wiki came in clutch

(*Check the lost things and memories)

(*Escape escape(?) the maze escape(?) the past/last(?) escort(?)) (this is a lot of 'idk')

(Failure discarded selfish useless pointless coward murderer gambler blessed discarded loser chosen-one Mother Goddess's beloved crazy murderer blessed failure discarded loser pointless coward murderer chosen-one selfish fool(?) blessed discarded loser chosen-one you(?) loser discarded pointless coward(?) murderer gambler blessed █isc█████ useless loser chosen-one Mother Goddess's blessed/beloved(?) loser loser loser loser loser loser loser loser loser loser loser loser loser ████ ████ ███████████ ███ ██████ █████ █ ██ ████ █)

there might be way more losers then there should be because my eyes were getting confused. and also more of the blacked out character

this line right here makes me wonder why he's still in the IPC after like the end of 2.2 (..im pretty sure 2.3 is the next update)

my brain power is failing on me idk what this one is

im going to turn my settings to max for the picture because its so fucking pixel-y. im going to try to save it before my pc crashes.

my one complaint: the taking a picture function that continues the story disappears when you get close to kakavasha. so i cant take a photo with him and continue the story.,

whatever.where the fuck is the screenshot folder im crying

oh my god the LAUNCHER? HOW WAS I SUPPOSED TO KNow after i go through the star rail folder > games folder > starrail_data folder > screenshots

thats way too many folders for me to even notice 😭

second image cuz yes

I RAN PAST THE TEXT AGAIN

'there'll be one beside you' or something im sorry my memory is shit short term i already forgot

I MISSED MORE OF THE FLOATING TEXT 😭😭

'over plains, endless'

'into cracked earth, stumbling'

im stressed so im getting distracted

ARE YOU READY KIDS? I CANT HEAR YOUUU. WHO LIVES IN A PINEAPPLE UNDER THE SEA

"So run, Kakavasha, do not be afraid, and do not look back."

now go back and reread the previous quest thing.

okay thats it i think

[silantryoo]

as much as im annoyed by the potential implications of the mhj/hybe drama i do feel like theres way too much speculation rn ... rlly doesn't sit so well with me that everyone is bashing on mhj alone (im not supporting her either though) and not bang sihyuk too. some hybe stans rlly js worship the guy and idk why . its not like he's innocent too. like those texts from him are so annoying too. abt if she's satisfied that nwjns is so popular and also abt trying to rival aespa / bp alone ...

hybe has sm power and r known for their mediaplay so i rlly do wish people would keep that in mind instead of doing their own speculation to bash on mhj . we don't know fs if she's the reason behind seunghan, youngseo, etc .... it seems so forced that everyone just collectively is making stuff up on their own theories and pissing on her. like im all for it when everything's done with but it's giving misogyny to me ughhh idk how to explain it eitherr without sounding like a mhj stan I PROMISE IM NOT TAKING HER SIDE T_T i just cant help but feel like poeple find it easier to hate and bash on women sometimes. even me scrolling x nowadays feels so annoying. literally feel so bad for illit and nwjns rn.

personally i was a teeny annoyed that illit had a similar image to nwjns w their nostalgia/coquettecore (also though just seems like cute/youthful concept is making a cb in general in kpop) but only because their songs on super real me were the exact type of songs i liked most from nwjns (super shy, hurt etc. the softer less peppy songs compared to hybe boy) so it bothered me that there was an implication that nwjns might be forced to distance itself to a more differing concept to keep some contrast btwn the two ... but ik that's not illit's fault at all (literally love the girls sm im a runext fan ^^) i feel like i can understand the upset that illit was getting a similar concept when every other grp before illit in hybe had more defined concepts seperating each other. but once again that's all hybe's doing ...... seeing the choreographers supporting mhj too makes it seem like not even the nwjns team or even all the staff were on board with the references in the choreo either...

anyways i do hope this controversy doesnt impede on either grps promos :( and i rlly hope everything gets sorted out... im srsly hoping this doesnt turn into a 5050 situtation again but with nwjns i was so upset when that happened . was curious on what your thoughts were or if u were keeping up with everything?

the way im coming back to reply to this first thing after my exams is insane, but this nwjns thing makes me so angry for all the idols under hybe. both parties j cares sm ab money that they're blindsided by the potential of ruining their idols careers, mental health and images. mhj is being stupid and hybe does seem to be doing anything to protect nwjns (as far as we know. i could be wrong).

(yawl, jsyk i obv dont have ALL the information. from what ive seen online and the articles ive read, this is what I THINK. ME. youre free to think smthn else, whether i agree or not.)

i def thing that bang hyung sik (bhs) isn't innocent either. although min heejin (mhj), in my opinion, is more in the wrong j based on the treatment of other idols, bhs seemed to provoke her, and on top of that, the company seems to blindly support ppl and give them a platform so long as they make profit for the company. ive been seeing a lot of ppl saying hes j human but youd think theres a reason why mhj got kicked from sm, yk? and you j took her back in w open arms.

hybe is v good at media play fs. its their forte, and ppl seemed to stray from the from the main problem. mhj is using nwjns as a weapon. hybe probably is doing the same thing w their other groups too, dont get me wrong. ppl seem to forget that this entire issue isnt "drama", its a legal battle ensuing between a huge corporation and its subsidiary. hybe has infinite power compared to ador. its horrible on both ends.

the thing is tho, mhj has consistently been showing the public red flags. the lyrics of 'cookie (ik she didnt write the lyrics but shes the ceo. she got them approved)', the portraits gifted to her of naked underaged girls, her obsession w olivia hussey (who happens to look like minji), her treatment of sm employees, her past work w shinee (sexualization of underaged taemin), etc. not to mention her extremely (at least in my eyes) inappropriate relationship w nwjns. the gifts shes gotten them and how she uses their emotions as a weapon. if bhs did that, everyone would be up in arms.

i dont think (for the most part) this is misogyny. i think ppl alw had a weird feeling about her. at least i did.

idt its good to speculate on ppls departure tho. youre def right ab that. the lsfm hate train (esp the coachella one) most likely has nothing to do w mhj. and i do agree that hybe copied or was at least inspired by nwjns, but idt illit copied them. illit and nwjns have a very 'pinkpantheress' sound, the uk early 00's bedroom pop genre. however, nwjns is more y2k and illit is more dream-like, ykwim? hybe was def inspired by nwjns tho. i think a more fitting one would be tws tbh. their sound is v similar to me (emphasis on to me) than illit.

dont get me wrong, it's incredibly shady and the way that a lot of staff are on her side makes me think that hybe was leeching off of the success of nwjns. it referenced all girl groups under hybe tho, lsfm and fromis, but there was def more nwjns references.

what im worried ab the most are the groups, esp nwjns. lsfm has been going thru their own struggles and rn this isnt the best for them, but theyre not extremely involved in the situation, not like nwjns and illit. illit, from what ive seen, has majority of the success and recognition from overseas. however, their success in korea'll take a huge hit. itll def take a toll on the girls mental, considering they j debuted and this happened.

nwjns is the worst off. theres a chance they might leave w mhj if ador does pull away from hybe, which isnt in the groups best interest. mhj's press conference and overall attitude is gonna affect their upcoming release fs, and their proximity to mhj herself is worrisome.

hybe doesnt seem to be doing shit to protect their artists, they're j protecting their name. theres no statement on or for illit, no statement on malicious comments for any of the groups (that i know of).

tldr: min heejin and hybe are both at fault. dont take sides of either, take the side of the idols.

sorry, im j so passionate ab this. the shit ive been seeing online has been making me mad. after getting back from the lsfm hate train too... as mad as i am at mhj, hybe GAVE her that platform. if the things they claim is true, and if the speculation is true, they alr knew from her past employment that she was shady. its their fault for allowing that.

[quodekash]

QUICK, GUYNAWA ARE HAVING A TENDER MOMENT, I NEED TO KEEP GOING

I love their flirting love language <3

the way he looks at him

THE WAY HE LOOKS AT HIM

yes, im crying because of them

oh that is so infuriating

they were facing the wrong way

I love these idiots so much but maybe if they'd seen the shooting star, they couldve had a magical moment and then kissed or something, idk

but no, they're such idiots that they didnt think to look in the other direction

I love them, but its infuriating sometimes

OKAY BUT GIVE US THE WHOLE STORY

THERES SO MANY GAPS

literally all we know about this so far:

1. evil boss guy wanted name to do one last thing for him before he could quit (presumably to rob the house)

2. name asked saifah for some help with some things he had to do

3. according to that one news report, a robbery probably happened?

4. saifah shot kong

5. name had "no idea saifah would do something like that"

so much is missing. what's the whole story here? I still believe that saifah is innocent. he might've accidentally shot him or something, I dont know

yeah, okay

but name is involved in the plot somehow

answer my questions bitch

okay, I love you saifah, but telling him to forget about you is really freaking selfish

it may seem self-sacrificing, like "he'll be happier without me on his plate" but it's not. it's downright selfish.

there are things at play here that you're not thinking about, and other things you're not aware of

such as, you dont know that sailom is now kind of hopeless. because of what you supposedly did, kang now hates sailom, so sailom can't tutor him, so sailom can't get the money to pay off yours and his debts.

as for the things you're not thinking off?

you forget, your parents are both dead. you are his only family left. he is your only family left. he wants to understand the situation so that he can get help for you to get out, so that he isn't utterly alone, and so that you can get out of the terrible environment that is jail. he can't just forget about you, because you are all he has.

and this is both not thinking of and not aware of, sailom doesn't like to accept help from people for free. he doesnt have kang's financial support anymore. and his friends are offering help, but he has no way to pay them back for that help, so he wont accept it. but he wants you back, deemed innocent, so that he can get his boyfriend back, his job back, his happiness back. he can't just forget about you. he needs you.

now anSWER MY QUESTIONS BITCH, WHAT ACTUALLY HAPPENED

HE CAN'T, THAT'S THE THING, THAT'S THE PROBLEM

IM GONNA REITERATE WHAT I SAID IN EPISODE FOUR: THERE IS ABSOLUTELY NOTHING WRONG WITH BEING A SEX WORKER, AN ESCORT, ANYTHING IN THAT LINE OF WORK

THERE IS SOMETHING WRONG WITH THE FACT THAT SAILOM IS STILL A CHILD IN HIGH SCHOOL, AND THAT'S A FULL-ASS GROWN MAN ABOVE THE AGE OF 40

IT MAKES ME FEEL GROSS AND UNCOMFORTABLE

THAT IS ALL, THANK YOU FOR COMING TO MY TED TALK

AND ONCE AGAIN, THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH SEX WORK, BUT THERE IS SOMETHING WRONG WITH A 40+ YEAR OLD MAN HOLDING A DRUGGED UNCONSCIOUS BOY AND SMILING LIKE THAT

thank goodness for that

CRAP THIS IS BAD AH FRICK

IM NOT TAKING SCREENSHOTS OF THIS PART I REFUSE

OH CRAP KANG PLS ARRIVE AND PUNCH HIM

AAAAA FRICK FRICK FRICK PUNCH HIM PUNCH HIM PUNCH HIM

OHTHANKGOODNESS THANK YOU KANG

I had to go through that entire scene without saying anything but man the line "to me you're nothing but money" really hit hard

I sat there for like 2 whole minutes not wanting to press play after that line because it was just validating all of kang's worst fears about how sailom values him

I am not even remotely okay

I hate the writers so much for this

on the bright side, they didnt do a soundwin and give us absolutely zero guynawa in episode 10 so I appreciate that

but uh. now im sad.

THE FREAKING FLASHBACKS THIS EPISODE HAVE BEEN THE WORST THEYVE EVER BEEN

THEY WERE MEANINGFUL FLASHBACKS

SHORT SNIPPETS OF THEIR PROGRESSION AND THE THINGS THEYVE GONE THROUGH

okay well that was. truly something.

this episode took me nearly 4 hours to watch which is a new personal record and im not sure if I should be proud of that or if I should start crying about how exhausted im going to be tomorrow

Im excited for next week and for this mess to be cleared up at least a little bit, but im also not excited for next week because itll be the second last episode and im not ready for this series to be over yet

anyway, have a good week folks. uh. yeah. keep calm and love guynawa way too much

[l0viez]

May I request a reader who feels like they're falling behind in life? I feel this profound sadness when I realize others are further along where I want to be.

I'd like Kaeya for this one (And Zhongli if you have time).

Really sorry that im late for this! i had a busy scheduleT.T!, also sorry in advance if some of my writings is abit.. confusing? or not rlly that understandable! im still a newbie at these! This was in a rush so if i have some extra time ill rewrite and make it more better^^

This can be seen as romantic or platonic!💟

🗡️Kaeya! ;

Kaeya's first and honest reaction was .. kind of mixed

He felt abit little bitsy upset for the person you always look at and compare yourself too

He felt alot of concerned and sadness , concerned because of the fact you would stop talking or just go to your own world whenever you see them

He was very saddened over the fact you look and felt miserable just because of it

the first time he knew about your situation and what you were feeling these days

He felt guilty and mad at himself because he didn't get to manage to see it more earlier

Kaeya WILL visit you daily with flowers!

Theres are no ifs or buts

you will see him at the front door waiting for you

it will become a daily thing until you finally feel better again

(unless you want him to visit u everyday🤭! just request him xox)

Kaeya will be inviting you to tavern to make you feel calm down and to distract you from you feeling upset

knowing kaeya he will still tease you but he will lower it down too make sure it doesnt say anything to tigger you

he isnt a afraid to make himself look like a fool just to distract you and make you laugh

he will even skip some of works to hang out with you to distract you from all those stress or

a little headcannon : since he got em 💵💵💸 whatever your hobbies are he will buy you the items needed for your hobbies!

Cooking? you have a whole kitchen for yourself to make foods and make your own recipes!

Singing? He will rent out a whole year room just for you to sing, it has a mic and everything

Drawing? .. yeah he would probably ask albedo for some tips on what to buy good materials LMAO

Kaeya is the type of person who would distract, make you forget about your worries, spoils you rotten, be more 10x clingy, make you laugh during your bad times❤️

Kaeya is super supportive of you and respects your decisions but sometimes he worries to much for you thats why he's always looking out for you!

He will even take you to some sceneries or areas that you havent went before and explore abit !

he just wants to express his love to you and to tell you everyday that your more than good enough and that what ever you have or got is something to cherish for and that one day you will be like someone you idolize!

he will wait for you to succeed to the things you want to be in life, he will be there at your comfort <33

he's honestly so proud of you like he would be like "yess💅🏻thats my boyyy/girll!" (hes a silly lil goofy man dont mind him) if you ever surpassed or succeed on the things you want to be or you want to succeed in

(he would even throw a celebration on it too😭‼️)

He's that hype man you didn't ask for but still (thankfully) got/jk

(he gives me that "its us againist life"/jk im unfunny like cyno im sorry)

" Oh (n/n), took you long enough, almost thought Id have to spend this night by myself.. drinking (your favorite drink) by my self... Ow! that was a hard one — hey hey! I was just kidding you didn't have to hit me that hard haha.. here come sit with me! .. what's that? you still have work to do? heh. Your staying here with ME tonight. Relaxing! The night is young, how about you relax abit? Don't worry I'll help you with your problem tomorrow! Would it really kill you if you don't work for one day? "

His first reaction was most likey confused..

Dont blame the poor old man he is still learning

Ofc he would be also half upset bout it too

Cause like.. what his DEAR IS UPSET? HE is UPSET as well😤‼️

Zhongli would be so confused because like he will catch you looking down or feeling down

he would ask you if you were alright and you would tell him you were okay

but more days went by he FINALLY gets the clue

He brought you both to a fancy expensive looking restaurant (ofc childe payed for it)

When both of you got comfortable now

He legit straightward asked on what was goin on with you for the past few days

he would give you the most OBVIOUS things and asks you the most OBVIOUS things as well (his trying his best😭💔)

(but then again, I feel like he will get it already but he will act like he wouldn't just cause "communication is the key" and he didn't want to be rude and assume on what was going on so he has to make sure of it"!)

When you confessed on what was going on and how you felt down because of it

he will also visit you everyday like kaeya's! but no flowers.. well probably a pretty rock but who knows

he will use his wallet/childe to get you both in some fancy resturants whenever you both have spare times!

Zhongli would be like your spotify premium but instead of music he is like a radio.

He will tell you stories non stop to "distract" you from feeling upset

good thing his voice is calming

so while your doing your thing he would be talking in the background

Zhongli will probably even give you his specialty dish just for u<3

zhongli will be the type of person who likes to think that making things from your heart or homemade is more special that buying

(he just dont wanna admit he has no cash to buy you gifts/jk)

just like kaeya he would maybe take a day off to spend time with you

Instead of buying you newest items you wished you had, he will give you some items they used before when he was still a archon younger!

Unlike kaeya who likes to distract you and make your worries clear off ur mind, Zhongli will instead give you some "wise" advices on what you want to get good at and be more more supportive of your decisions!<3

He understands that there's a huge difference between a human and an archon but that won't stop him from giving all his best to help you get what you think its missing from you‼️

He's that "proud father" or "proud old grandpa"

He's more layback and chill than kaeya, like he will also tell you to relax and to not overwork yourself as well

If you manage to overcome or succeed or surpassed the people that you used to look at with sadness

Zhongli will most likey to celebrate that and even invite some people from liyue!

He will even take you on a peacefully calming date while you tell him about what happened

Zhongli is willing to listen to you 24/7

he will probably request you to do your hobbies or the things you love infront of him

and he will even act dense about it (sly mf)

" Greetings (Y/n) , I have some plans for us to visit somewhere special. Ah ah. *holds your hand* don't even think about going back and overworking youself now. You don't have to rush yourself always you know? Im worried about you, you might even get a fever from thinking too much.If you ever need someone to comfort you I'll be there at your call now.. I ordered us some relaxing tea at Yanshang Teahouse, let us go and grab it shall we?

This is just a little bonus message, if you ever feel sad about people who are futher along where you want to be in. Remeber to not pressure yourself to becoming a "improved" you. to not overwork youself for it. Don't be hard on your self because sooner or later you will be on the top or be the version you wanted to be. Dont rush and try to have fun along the way and to stay safe always<3.!

[chocottang]

heyyys hope this isnt an awkward ask but, since you like cami a very normal amount i presume, i thought i'd ask... do you maybe understand or have any interpretations or headcanons about cami and her shadow and how they manage to coexist in the same body together?

(e.g.: is cami always her shadow? do you think she see it and interact with it like fred? how come she has more control over it than other characters but still not enough? etc.)

overall just your personal thoughts about it just because i think that was never really explained in the show and i would love to see what someone who has such a complex and interesting understanding of her backstory thinks about it ! hope this isnt weird to ask hnhnfnfng

hey! not weird or awkward at all, i love getting asks! and thanks for the nice comments u///u

i put a read more just in case it's too long

like you said, cami's shadow wasn't explored a lot in the show, we only got two frames to be exact.

i'm going to call her shadow tat

i already talked about the first frame in the analysis: i think tat came out as a result of cami's realization that she's not alone, that eak and t-trap have been with her all along. tat was probably triggered by the uncommon influx of overwhelming emotions. her purporse seems to be to keep the body going as normal, since the only thing that we see of cami after this is a frame where she looks the same. we don't know if it's cami or tat in z3r0 but she's also acting the same.

about the second frame, it's interesting in the context of the song, because tat seems to be reaching for something while the lyrics talk about finding a way out. after the song, tat takes over the body, so maybe it was alluding to the way out of the shadow world. but, the frame also goes together with this one in an interesting way.

this frame is actually supposed to go with the one of ttrap reaching for cami when they were kids, cami only reaching out now. but, it could go with both of them. cami is both reaching towards ttrap and tat. meaning, she wasn't taken over by her, but rather, she let tat take control. it may be alluding to cami letting her most repressed emotions take over again, accepting them. nevertheless, we know shadows are sentient beings, not just metaphors, so this leads me to think that:

1. even though cami was met with a pretty strong realization after eavesdropping eak and ttrap, she didn't want to actively change anything about her life. at least not yet.

2. cami and tat have at least met before for cami to willingly give her control. besides, they don't look even mildly surprised about what's happening. only on the second frame does tat look different and it doesnt strike me as surprised, but rather like she's just reaching hard.

which brings me to this question: how does cami have powers? a little out of nowhere, but bare with me.

cami and owynn have powers of some sort that are connected to the shadow world, they can make someone's shadow come out and cami can make someone into a mindless zombie.

we've seen that shadows have some sort of power. gold could turn people into mindless zombies (or maybe he was just retransmitting cami's power?), shadow fox had some sort of fire (or maybe he was the fire?) and fred was able to...explode...and make a group of people forget the last year of their lives.

in z3r0, we learn that when humans and shadows fuse, they gain powers that can debilitate shadows.

this makes me think that cami and owynn's powers are nothing more than their shadow's powers. i don't think its a fusion, since those powers seem to be specifically for debilitating shadows, the opposite of what owynn and cami do. in the case of cami, her powers may be just her shadow coming out, since we dont see her eyes very often. but im very sure that the one time owynn used his powers on that one piano, it was himself. so, there exists a way for a human to borrow their shadow's power. meaning, they have to have a relationahip with them in some way. do they make a deal? do they force them? i dont know. but based on the little we see of tat, it seems that at least her and cami are in good terms.

i don't think it's in the level of fred and freddy though, as i believe most shadows are confined to the shadow world unless they take over the human's body. fred is an exception, a very special boy. but i don't think it's necessary to have a ghost form in order to form a bond with a human. the villains seem to know quite a bit about the shadow world, so maybe they found a way to access it on command so they can regularly talk to their shadow and make sure they access its powers.

so, i think cami and tat are in good terms, and cami visits her regularly in the shadow world. whether it be for accessing her power or to talk about what tat has done outside with the power. since the powers are used to serve the villains, tat has to know about the plan and is on board with everything, and since cami has always been aware of what's happened regarding the plan, it means tat is always telling her what she's done (if she's the one using the powers). they really trust each other and are on the same page. at some point, they had an agreement that when cami has to deal with strong emotions, tat will go out. this may be so cami can escape the situation so she doesn't have to deal with her feelings, while tat keeps normalcy. also, so they can be a productive peon for owynn regardless of the situation. so, they have open communication and willingly give control of the body over to the other one, the frequency of this depending on if tat is responsible for all magic acts or if she only goes out on dire ocassions.

the fact that she has more control over her shadow than most characters may be because she simply has more of a relationship with her. or, perhaps the control she attempts to have over her own feelings manifests in a docile shadow, easily controlled. I don't think tat has the same cold personality as cami, but rather she pretends to. i think, in reality, she houses cami's deepest and most repressed feelings, and tat pretends that she doesnt have them so cami won't get mad at her. she does it and agrees on everything cami wants to do so she continues visiting her. even shadows can get lonely, especially in the black endless nothing of the shadow world.

uhh i think that's all i have. its mostly dumb theorizing. thanks for the ask!!! it was really fun to think about. i do like cami a very normal amount <3

[cartoonrival]

So, how was Naruto?

ok im using this ask as my full review post. it was simultaneously tear-your-hair-out garbage and world-alteringly incredible. would i recommend watching it? NO. am i glad i spent two weeks doing basically nothing other than watching it? yes. idk how much detail i went into initially about why i wanted to watch it to begin with, but (and im not SUPER sure how accurate this is) from my perspective the impact that naruto has had on fandom culture seems absolutely MASSIVE, and i HAD to experience it for myself because of that. sasunaru was absolutely a large part of that, considering they are something of the poster child of shipping rival leads (especially in anime fanbases), so even though i knew that they would be shipped together regardless of how much they actually cared for each other in canon, the MASSIVE popularity and the tiny snippets of them that i'd seen made me kind of crazy desperate to see how real it was.

the strongest aspect of the series is ABSOLUTELY naruto and sasuke, and sasuke and itachi. really what i loved most about naruto was that the author pulled NO punches in demonstrating how deep these characters love for one another actually ran. this isnt extrapolation or exaggeration when i say that i have NEVER in all my days seen "love that ruins" like how these characters love each other.

naruto on his own isnt a WILDLY unique character. without watching the show you could guess what sort of person he is and probably be right. BUT his biggest strengths def come in how he interacts with other people, and his endless dedication to sasuke is a PRIMARY example of that. one by one, EVERYBODY is giving up on sasuke. hes doing terrible things, no one has seen him, they just catch wind of the awful things he's done, but naruto still REFUSES to let him go. and it is TEARING him to pieces. he's losing sleep over it for YEARS. he grovels in the snow for sasuke's honor, he dreams about him he cries over him all his friends turn on him over sasuke and he fucking refuses to accept that sasuke's too far gone. sasuke is desperate to forget the bond he had with naruto , his one and only friend (direct quote), not just because he feels like the weakness of having that bond is holding him back but also because he doesn't feel like he deserves it. he doesnt GET why naruto loves him so much and its making him crazy. he's desperate to make him stop, even if that means killing him just to be alone again, to bear the hate of the world alone so that the world can find peace in his place. they love each other so so so deeply and understand one another like no one else could ever dream to, and i've never seen such unfiltered devotion in my LIFE.

the lore of the series itself is quite muddy and overcomplicated, particularly everything relating to historical conflicts. the specifics of itachi's story, to me, are kind of contrived and feel sort of like the author himself didnt know exactly what itachi's real motivation was going to be when he initially wrote him killing all the uchiha. the lore dumps are dense and dreadful to wade through. i personally deeply hate the idea of sasuke and naruto being the reincarnated souls of two brothers who've been at each others throats for lifetimes grappling for their own ideas of peace. now part of this is because i do not think sasuke and naruto's relationship is particularly brotherly, but mostly its because i hate the idea that STILL their lives are being dictated by fate and the reason that they care for each other so deeply is because their souls are tied by a cosmic bond instead of because they are two people who chose to care for one another independently.

i personally feel there is a valuable simplicity to just. these two love each other, and their story is reflected by the past relationships between madara and the first hokage whos name i forget, and also by two guys before them, and it has created a cycle that repeatedly fails but maybe the strength of the bonds that have been built by naruto and sasuke and the people close to them can finally break free of that. like things can reflect the past, and i think that means more than it actually BEING the past. this is def an opinion that i dont expect to be widely agreed upon because i know complex lore and prophecies and shit ARE popular, but i personally feel that the complexity of everything with kaguya and her sons and the sage of six paths couldve been watered down and made for a stronger story. CHOOSING to live how you are means so so much more than living that way because fate dictates that you do. and i know there was an element of self determination in sasuke and naruto being able to break free of that cycle, but the fact that they were in it to begin with was because of reborn souls and shit. which i dont like.

along with the lore dumps dragging on, fights can also drag on like craaaaazy. not even just fights that are very plot significant (im fine with those being long, fights between naruto and sasuke are beautifully animated and i could watch them for hours), but literally just random ass conflicts with minor villains and minor characters take for fucking ever and its exhausting. like there is a lot of shit that we didnt need.

and obviously. the series is DEEPLY sexist. worst ive seen in a LONG time. the shoehorned romance made me want to scream, it is genuinely demeaning watching hinata and sakura pine after naruto and sasuke. i dont think ALL the girl characters suck (i do actually like sakura even though her crush on sasuke makes me want to kill someone, tsunade is genuinely one of my fave characters, i think temari is really cool and fun, i wish we'd gotten more of tenten), but it is POTENTLY obvious that kishimoto doesnt see women as people and it makes a LOT of scenes DEEPLY painful to watch. ive talked about this quite extensively so i won't rehash it all here but it is BAD. i was honestly surprised by how little the girls are sexualized, but he makes up for that by only having three personality traits that girls are allowed to have. and one of those is "obsessed with naruto or sasuke to the point of it being a health concern."

TL;DR, naruto has very strong character relationships and themes of how love can make you stronger but also ruin you, but the lore is terribly muddy and the way its presented makes a lot of it very boring. kishimoto hates women so much its insane. ive been changed on a fundamental level. every m/m rivals ship that has come after this is a sorry attempt to recreate sasunaru whether the people shipping those characters realize it or not

[frogtossing]

@pantrygeist and @fireflyflowersss i were playing a a terrible terrible, fateful game of Frantic Fanfic and came up with this mess, may i introduce: 'Confusing Concert'

now before i add the fic, i feel the need to clarify a couple of things

fireflyflowers doesnt know K AT ALL and pantrygeist only knows him through me

we played with a game mode that only allowed us to view the most recent added part

my lovely, lovely clueless friend started this fic... i think this explains a lot (god bless her heart)

Confusing Concert, in which a lesbian who doesnt know the internet meets Käärijä

(we're so sorry for this)

TITLE: Confusing concert FEATURING THE CHARACTERS: käärijä, a lsbian who dsnt know the www WRITERS: bannaworm, captain, frogtossin, bannaworm, captain, frogtossin RATED 18+ It was his first concert in Germany, when he met her.

She was standing in the first row, cherishing him because she didn't know anything else. She had seen him in the TV, at the European Song Contest, and she decided to love him. Even though she knew she just liked girls, she thought she could just forget them and fall in love with a green man. But all she could see while he was performing where his boobs, pretty big for a guy. She imagined him being a green w

oman. [Captain's note here, WHAT]

Whatever she was thinking, it must have shown on her face, as she caught his eyes during one of his more daring, borderline seductive choreographies.

In that moment, he winked at her and she swore that she felt herself blush for the first time since her young teenage years. With a heated face, all her nerves seemed to ignite as the loud music boomed through her every molecule.

Was this love? Was this what all those novels from her library told her about?

All she knew is that she needed to catch him after the show, to tell him, to make him hers. Her little he/him princess.

If you'd asked her how she ended up here, she probably couldnt give you a straight answer. She just kinda ended up in the concert hall. All these people around her were chanting words in finnish, cheering on some weird yellow guy who just kinda stood around on stage.

There was lore here. But she didnt really care. What she cared about however, was the tiny guy on stage, screaming away into his microphone. Something about him fascinated her, the same way someone feels when they see a fucked up little dog in the streets. The kind you just wanna pick up and take home.

After the show, she stood

Close to the backstage exit, whistling one of the songs from the show without even really noticing. She felt like she was in the wrong place, at the wrong time. Like she didn't really belong to the reality she had slided into. When the green man came out of the exit, surrounded by securities, she got a glance at him, and he looked at her. Then he told the securities to stop, and said to her: 'I noticed you. You seemed like you weren't enjoying yourself as much as the others.'and she said: 'I was though! I just couldn't understand the insiders they had and I didn't feel like I was part of them. '

'You don't have to f

know all the jokes to have fun though, No?'

She averted her eyes, knowing that he had caught onto her lie. Unable to tell him the real reason she wasn't able to enjoy herself fully.

Before she was able to utter another excuse, he took hold of her chin and tilted up her face to face him.

A deeper blush than ever before blazed across her cheeks as she took in his sparkling blue eyes. He said something, but she wasn't able to understand what he said.

She was transfixed by his feminine charm, his blue orbs and soft, kissable lips. Before she knew it, she was leaning closer, until his deep voice came back into focus.

Quickly, she tore herself free, turning away as tears well up in her eyes. Her cheecks still blazingly hot, she yelled, "I cannot do this, you are no woman. You're massive boobs and female charm decieved me"

He yelled her name as e´she´sd (ran way)

She stopped in her tracks, running away was childish if she thought about it.

Turning around, she took a closer look at the strange guy in front of her. Even though she might have mistaken him for a butch lesbian, she had to admit, the beard migth have been a clue that he wasnt. But who was she to discriminate? She'd seen a lot of things in her lifetime.

'Wow, weird misunderstanding,' She brought a hand up to the back of her head and ran it through her buzzcut. 'I thought you were an exccentric lesbian.. or like, a drag king or something. Sorry for all this'

The man looked surprised. 'So… you're not guy?' 'I.. What??' now she was just as confused as he was. 'No?' 'Mitä helvetti.. sorry. I thought you were guy..'

She felt a laugh creeping up her throat. She doubled over, suddenly relieved. 'Hah! What a weird coincidence, i thought you were a woman!'

[caelumsnuff]

I know guy’s not everyone cup of tea but maybe let’s all try to understand Erik’s probably dealing with stuff or busy with his real life. In the last podcast episode he mentioned he got his wisdom teeth out and was still dealing with a lot of pain while talking. Maybe Guy was all he could get out. Big lore stuff talks a lot of talking and time he may not have had. We all know YouTubes algorithm isn’t kind when people stop posting for a while and I’m sure Erik is well aware of that too. He had to get something out to keep up with it. I say this as someone who also deeply wants some lore or to hear from characters we haven’t seen in a while. Erik’s just been having a rough go of it and might need to make some simpler stuff like guy or Ollie so YouTube doesn’t crush the channel ya know? I understand frothing at the mouth for the big stuff trust me (I would do criminal acts to hear from Vega again) but Erik’s also a person with other stuff going on all while trying to work with a broken shitty algorithm that is constantly against content creators. I know it’s frustrating but I really do think there’s reasons for it.

i did not know about the tooth thing, so thanks for telling me.

I do think it's important for me to note that even when i am critiquing the videos themselves and the content in them, no malice is directed towards Erik. Sometimes I really am just complaining to complain on my blog on which i complain. Not everyone likes Guy, but a lot people do and if it's the case that Erik needed to make and upload something easy then so be it.

I will still remain questioning why he has fixated on Guy so much, but its more of a question in regards to what he does (or more accurately: doesnt) do for the story. I think there's reason behind the things he does or doesnt do, even if him choosing Guy is perhaps because his videos are more popular (i do not know for sure, i havent checked. Feel free to fact check this for me. or not), or just to have some semi normal bf rpasmr stuff on his channel.

Either way i wasn't really judging or critiquing Erik himself because of my dislike for Guy, moreso for my longstanding want to see more plot relevant videos or characters that predates just this recent video. I was complaining publicly bc i dislike Guy, but it wasn't an issue that was brought about because of him, it was just circumstantial to my complaining.

I know i have expressed general dislike for Erik's personality and whatnot on this blog, but it manifests more in apathetic feelings towards him. I don't feel any strong way, but i do still wish to treat him as i would a stranger. I am not actually angry at him for uploading or making videos i do not like, a lot of the things i say on this blog are melodramatic.

I do appreciate this ask. though i don't think i was necessarily forgetting the fact that Erik is Just Some Guy, it was nonetheless a reminder. I'm going to continue to talk about how i don't like Guy and how i want other things on the channel, but it's more a general complaint instead of something directed at Erik himself.

[kachowthunder]

OKAY FOLLOW UP TO THIS POST: https://at.tumblr.com/kachowthunder/theres-a-lot-of-respect-for-lynda-in-the-weathers/fkqn2kzbywbd the whole proposal idea has me thinking- CAL WOULD BE ONE OF THOSE GUYS WHO WOULD PROPOSE AND HAVE THIS BIG SPEECH HE MADE LIKE WEEKS IN ADVANCE WITH HELP FROM THE WHOLE FAMILY- TEX WAS EVEN IN ON THIS- AND THEN FORGET EVERYTHING HE WROTE DOWN THE MOMENT HE SEES YOU STANDING IN FRONT OF HIM AND HE'S DOWN ON HIS KNEE. MAN FREEZES. HE'S IN SHOCK. HE DOESN'T KNOW WHAT TO THINK OR DO. SO HE BABBLES A LITTLE, TRYING TO REGAIN HIS THOUGHTS BUT EVERYTHING IS GOING BLANK AND HE THINKS HE FUCKED IT UP. BUT LIKE- BOBBY AND LIGHTING ARE LITTLE NOSEY PEOPLE AND DEF CAME ALONG WITH CAL BUT SECRETLY. LIKE, THEY'RE HIDING IN THE BUSHES TYPE OF DEAL. THEY'RE WATCHING AND SEEING HIM FUCK UP AND JUST- BOTH WONDERING HOW THEY CAN SAVE THIS. IT'S A STATE OF PANIC, IT'S A STATE OF EVERYTHING IS GOING WRONG WHAT CAN WE DO. BUT- BUT BUT. AS SOON AS ONE OF THEM WERE GOING TO SAY SOMETHING. CAL BEGAN TALKING. AND HE BEGAN JUST RAMBLING ON ABOUT RANDOM THINGS HE LOVED ABOUT HIS S/O AND HOW THEY MADE HIM SO HAPPY AND HOW HE WOULD BE THE LUCKIEST MAN IN THE WORLD IF THEY MARRIED HIM. AND LIKE- THEY WERE SHOCKED B/C HE WENT COMPLETELY OFF SCRIPT BUT SO PROUD AT THE SAME TIME. DEF TEXTED LIKE STRIP, LYNDA, AND TEX TO KEEP THEM UPDATED. CAL PROBABLY SAID SOMETHING LIKE THIS: " I- uh... I'm.. sorry. I don't.. know how to do this. " Cal looked off to the side, nervous. It was visible in his eyes, in his rigid poster and his lightly trembling hands; hands in which were soon cupped over by the hands of the person standing in front of him. The person that he knew with all his heart that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with. He tried swallowing down his nerves, trying to go on for them. They deserved better than this.. and he needed to give them better. " Hun, I.. " He took a quick pause, trying to gather his words. You were being so patient with him, and he was so thankful for that. " I love you so'very'much.. I can't even describe it in words. You're the first thing I think'of when I wake up and my last thoughts when I go'to bed. When I have you by my side I feel like I can do everythin' and anythin' all at once without fear of judgement'or'failure. You.. make me a better man that I was before, and.. you make me feel like there's somethin' worth fightin' for in life. I.. I honestly had a whole speech prepared'an'ready, but I.. kind'of forgot it all when I saw your face. You just.. put a spell on'me that I don't understand but- not like, in a bad way. You just-..... I just don't know what words are right to'say right now.. and I don't think any words are right for a moment like this. " Cal paused, having to breath out shakily for a moment. He could feel your gentle glaze on him, listening to him like he was the only thing in the universe.. but he didn't expect to see you crying a little when he looked up. It shocked him a little, and he kind of felt bad.. " I.. no- don't cry. I'just.. I just wanted to ask you to marry me- " HE WAS SUCH A NERVOUS BOY THROUGHOUT IT ALL-

THIS- THIS HAS ME GIGGLING SO MUCH OMG THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT WOULD HAPPEN😭 POOR CAL. THE MAN DOESNT HAVE A SINGLE ROMANTIC PART IN HIS WHOLE BODY BUT MY GOD HE TRIES HIS BEST. THE “don’t cry I just wanted to ask if I can marry you” IS SINGLE HANDEDLY THE MOST CAL THING EVER

I CAN JUST IMAGINE WHEN LIGHTNING OR BOBBY TEXTS TEX, LYNDA AND STRIP ABOUT HOW CAL NEARLY FUCKED UP HIS MARRIAGE PROPOSAL, TEX NUDGES STRIP AND SAYS “You two have more in common than I thought”. IN THE FUTURE THEY WILL ALL LAUGH ABOUT IT BUT MAN POOR CAL WOULD BE AS BRIGHT AS A TOMATO WHEN THE REST FIND OUT HOW BAD IT WENT.

omg I just had a thought, what if Cal’s s/o has never been on a ranch before? What if the s/o is from a huge city and has never really seen what a genuine southern ranch looks like? What if the s/o is terrified of large animals like cows and horses? And what if Cal and the rest of the weathers (plus Tex) help them overcome their fears of them?😭

[apocalypsesuite]

Okay I have only seen like 3/4 of TUA season 1. Once Luther got sad and drunk my 2nd hand embarrassment killed me.

Please please please, I give you permission to be specific about how they fucked it up so bad. Cause I know there was time travel bs and then alt universe stuff? But I’m so curious. Please I give you permission.

spolier alert for the umbrella academy series and comics

more than anything the umbrella academy is about the siblings relationships, who they are as people, and the roles theyve been put in by their abusive adoptive father

so from season 1 reckoning with their childhood stuff now that their abusive father is dead to season 2 where you finally see them building lives of their own unburdened by the shadow of their father until...

i love season 2 but really thats where it started to go off the rails when they put reggie back into the story (i wont pretend to know where the comics are going whether their father was going to return in the 4th volume, or that the comics are perfect)

the way the comics focused on the secrets and experiments and whatever reggie was up to coming to light after his death was more interesting especially the reveal that there was another group of super powered heroes hidden away somewhere was devastating like the implications are crazy

there was no alternate universe bullshit in the comics (at least not yet and i pray there isnt) and it just feels like they were going with the multiverse trend thats been popular in recent years i mean they already had time travel thing

season 3 is probably ranked 2nd as the worst season of the four and while it took from the original comics there were also major departures like harlan and his whole thing

i honestly dont want to be that guy that goes on about how they should have been faithful to the source material but the more they strayed from the comics the worse it got season 4 is a testament

they had 4 episodes less to wrap things up so i could understand that they missed a bunch of emotional consequences from what happened the last season (as if they didnt matter but come on man Luther's wife was got disappeared) but then it spent most of the penultimate episode on this kind of gross romance plot that no one asked for between Five and Diego's (his brother) wife Lila

along with the feeling that the writers arent making decisions that made sense with the characters that was the straw that broke the camels back for most fans

this season seemed to forget about what the characters are actually like fundamentally and even reverted characters back to their old self like klaus because i guess they didnt know what to do with him otherwise

it had viktor still yearning for, then finally getting the approval of his father which is a little hollow because he met him with powers so ofc he doesnt think you're useless anymore viktor and anyway you dont need his approval like wasnt this addressed in prior seasons

so yeah the final season ended by redeeming their abuser and having them die to save the world because they were never supposed to be born and their birth doomed the timelines to always end with the world ending because they were born what an absolutely fucked up way to end a story about the effects of abuse

[lostacelonnie]

True but thats like. Part of the charm almost. All the issues. Yeah thankfully the days are lengthening again & the terrible holiday season has finally passed, which made me. So tired. Hence my response delay. Yeah they should chill but im glad that the last bit was. Easy for you? I was around my family for like. A day. & it was exhausting i can only imagine what a week takes out of you. I wish more americans were like that some guy tried to talk to me a bit at the theater yesterday when i went to see godzilla minus one & it was exhausting. Also funny story everyone at my work was so exhausted last week i said something in spanish to my co worker from el salvador & he completely did not understand because of exhaustion. Oh that pretty cool. I had to learn so that i wasn't like. Having sandwiches & ramen all the time & now im trying to find time to make my own bread so like. Slippery slope. But yeah knowing a few recipes is always a good idea. Thats always the best, having friends who are chill with quiet. Does anyone have a good school? I will believe in the process because star rail is also giving me that pain with argenti's story quest & ruan mei's swarm thing. Ah okay so antimatter legion but less controlled in a way. Oh so thats what herscherr means. How come some have like multiple herscherr forms if ive seen right? Entymology is very interesting i love it. I sure need to remember traces & such more i keep forgetting. & it shows in my multi target dps characters. Worlds worst wingwoman indeed i love her. Cant wait to get further into it & see more claire. Roguelikes are a lot of fun i enjoy them greatly. I thought they would annoy me but hades proved me wrong. Noita sounds fun ill check it out at some point. Himeko mvp of all time she better survive penacony. Whoa that's a lot of seele lore. I love her damn. Explains her a bit in star rail too. What with sea of quanta, themes of death, scythe as a weapon. Also cocolia connection. And bronya really went hard for seele damn i love her too. Are her legs being broken why she like. Uses something to hover in the game? Have any other bronya facts? Or mei? Im glad your polish post radar works so well.

it really is ADHFGLSKFKG. and god yeah FINALLY. also happy new year!!!!!! very late but still!!!!!! this was my first week back in school after the holidays [well. actually it was Two Days] but im already tired. aooougugh. but oh well! GOD. my family In General is like. Fine. i really dont mind them. but i have to stay with my grandma who is just impossible to coexist with...... luckily my mom allowed me to mostly just hang out in our room and not interact with her that much since she shares my opinion. and augh that sounds. Irritating. i enjoy being left the fuck alone. AHDKKS it really is like that........ on wednesdays we have 8 am classes with the one teacher we have that speaks Exclusively spanish so we often do a irl co op mission with the entire group if we wanna convey like literally any message to her. and oh understandable!!! im probably gonna end up the same way sjfkgj. my mom never really taught me to cook since she doesnt like to do it [which, i get it] but i personally really enjoy the process so well see how that goes. AND FOR REAL i genuinely do not believe theres such thing as a good school. or even a Normal school. also fairrrrrr i actually returned to star rail for ruan mei [<- not immune to Pretty Autistic Women] and also had trouble with the swarm boss...... actually made me update my clara build. can you believe this. but tbh i havent done argentis quest yet and im fully spoiler free so im gonna see how that goes JDJGKKSJG. and yeah!! and with multiple herrscher forms its like. usually people obtain multiple herrscher forms either in like. change in belief? approach? which lets them harness other parts of their power [or add new ones], like in the case of HoFlamescion or HoTruth; merge [HoRimestar]; or find a new external source of their power [CE HoOrigin, HoFinality]. but i dont believe its ever explained in Detail so yeah. but generally, the power of a herrscher is stored in their herrscher core, so obtaining multiple cores can give people multiple authorities [like in the case of sirin]. but as i said, typical Honkai Confusion. ETYMOLOGY IS SUPER FUN YEAH...... and for real. if manaria has 1000 fans i am one of them if manaria has 1 fan its me against the world if manaria has no fans i am dead. noita IS fun but i should warn you youre not gonna get anywhere without external guidance. i mean. Maybe you will but its gonna be frustrating as hell and near impossible. its that kind of game. but the fanbase knows that and is actually very helpful!!! solving this games secrets is a team effort. as of right now i have 63h in and 2 wins [got one today, actually! congrats, me.] but i rec it heavily. its fun. AND YES GOD YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW HI3 FANS SCARED ARE FOR HSR HIMEKO. they cant take her from us again............ AND YES SEELE. I LOVE SEELE. its actually canon she has a kind of "you are not immune to seele" aura that makes people unable to say no to her bc of just how much of a lovely person she is. and yes that is the reason bronya floats around ingame!!! AND WELL. due to the fact that bronya and mei are both a part of the Main Trio, telling you. literally Any amount of lore about them would take me way too fucking long. and im so sorry but im just mentally unable to do that. and thank you o7 polska gurom ‼‼‼‼💯💯💥🔥💥‼💯🔥💥

[rrxnjun]

HECK YEAHHH!! 03 best line😌🥳i was so happy to find out he was born in 2003 cuz i swear it's so rare to find anyone born in 2003 in any band (or tbh even just content creators)!! we are superior for being older than him /j😌😌 WAIT LMAO THATS KIND OF COOL THAT ITS ON THE SAME DAY:o doyoung is my guy after jihoon he is just so great so i understand him hitting differently lmao

yeahhh iguess i love doing things that take a lot of patience although i'm a very impatient person😶 and i'm still on the start of my embroidery career but it's so fun!!! we are the coolest grandmas out there😎😎😎 dude i love plants but i always end up killing them so🤡 (ofc sending one immediately!!)

i'm so happy about it as well;-; I WILL BUT MY PICS ARE PROBABLY GOING TO BE LIKE PIXELS CUZ WE ARE KIND OF FAR BACK SO I WILL SEND U MAKE SURE TO SEND U PIXEL CALUM!!! will tell u all about it🫡

SORRY!! IT WASNT FOR COMFORT🥲 tbh as u should treasure is fun so ur phase is completely understandable!!! jihoon is the definition of perfect tbh just love the guy!! ooo i've never seen that i will go and watch that later👀 but losing ur shit is probs very much understandable🤣

WAIT ACTUALLY OH MY🤭💞but actually only write it if u want to!!! i don't want to force u!!! IT WILL BE!! MANIFESTING FOR IT TO BE AMAZING!!!!🥳🥳🥳(awww thank u so much🥹lmao that would be kind of funny ngl but maybe hopefully i will be comfortable enough to not be anon by then cuz i'm starting become more comfortable to post on the internet so i might save u from having to do that🤣)

i'm very glad it cheered u up!! i always love reading ur replies to me and they just cheer me up always tbh hihi🥹💗💕 (liebestraum anon💕)

TRULY !!! 03 line is so rare to see i think and thats why i automatically adopt every 03 liner i see 😭😭 also our bias taste is....the same. i am NOT surprised 😭😭

how can u be an impatient person then 😭😭 i get impatient w art and then i rush the details and it ends up looking like shit 😔 the only thing i dont feel like i rush is writing but even that sometimes gets hard to do LMAO 😭 i got so many plants for my bday also!!! im surprised they're not dead bc sometimes i forget to water them and im lowkey freestyling the care but i love all of them to death💓 wishing u good luck w your embroidery career and waiting for that bracelet !!

CANT WAIT FOR PIXEL CALUM!!!!!!! better than nothing 😔🤞

losing my shit is understanable but also it makes me feel silly like girlie that man doesnt know you and here u are in a parasocial relationship with him💔 watching ygtb made me so proud of him tho he grew so much as a person and a performer and so did all of them!!!

i woULD but see it occured to me that i have exams next week so i kinda lost my shit and now im spiraling instead of writing but. it wILL happen after !!!

omg i am glad to hear you are more comfy!!! i would never pressure u into anything bc i want u to be 100% comfortable but if u ever decide to come off anon i am welcoming you w open arms my friend 💓

to finish off this reply i want to apologize for being so late with it but i had a rough week full of stress and hangover 🤠 also i hope you are doing well and that you are taking care of yourself!!

[jeeezzzlouise]

THIS IS WHY I SHOULD BE CAST AS DELIRIUM

I share a crazy lot things with Delirium. I see myself in her with out having to augment myself to fit. Honestly I can make a list, and I sort of have. I wrote to Neil Gaimen in general about my love for the character (like everyday for a month with, yuck, felt very cringe but it's hard to cut through the white noise of socialmedia) and then season two was announced. So I sent my letter to his people, and they said to send an audition tape. I had my agency send it for me but I probably would have done that even if they didnt ask.

Anyway back to that list I was talking about:

1. I look crazy similar to her depiction in the comics. And yes, I did dye my hair twice and buzz cut it off for the audition because Del's hair changes so often. And yeah, I do kinda look like a hedgehog now that the buzzcut is growing out. Thanks for asking. But I know that is not enough...

2. My acting ability. I've studied cinematography and worked in the industry. I have a natural talent for acting and I always have. But for the love of Liza Minnelli can a girl not get a gig in this town?! And that's an entire topic on it's own which I wont get into. But like Liza would say, I got the chops kid don't you worry.

3. I am the youngest of six, three boys, three girls. (Guess my folks just really like to equal out the odds) And frankly that dinner scene hits closer to home than I care to admit.

4. I've come out of a six year long depression. I  know what it means to feel totally lost and with out hope. I see the much darker side of Delirium and I understand it. She said once "what if it gets worse?" As she melted down and cried on the floor. And I had never seen such a clear personification of my own fear when I was really struggeling. I would have given anything to not feel like that and she would too. I experienced a lot of brain fog in the worst of my depression and I see her frustration and anxiety around not remembering things/ forgetting  and how that influences her speach and body language. It hits hard when your brain and your body is out of sink and that frustration, anger and hurt is indescribable.

5. Neurodivergence. You can't tell me she's neurotypical. At the very least she has ADHD... because same. And btw, her sentances are not jibberish, she just thinks faster than what she can talk. And with many different thoughts crossing her mind at  once, it can get a little jumbled... and that's on Neurodivergence. Also the way she describes people/things feels close to my synesthesia. My favorite example is when she says a cop is mean and feels like he has bugs all over him (and then makes him believe it) makes sense to me because people just feel like that sometimes! It's hard to describe, you just feel it and it can sometimes it make sense but mostly it doesnt. So yeah, that's synesthesia for you.

6. She never stopped being Delight and neither did I. She is very brave... In her own way. It's very difficult to remain so open, curious and wonderful when in contrast your faced with a lot of sorrow and pain. I dont think it's a coincidence that she remained similar to delight. It would be easier to let that version of herself die and become completely something different. But she continuously fights to keep it, and so do I.

There is more i could say but I will spare you all. If you want to see my audition tape it's on youtube, because I have no shame I will not rest until I have explored every possible avenue of comunication also I'm terrified they cast somone for the name and not the talent and ifthathappensiwillflytohollywoodandeggneil'scastinfagent'scarsohelpmegodiwillfightwithmylastdieingbreath. But mostly I have this gut feeling like this is something I am meant to do... 

and no matter how much I embarrass myself by putting myself out there, I have to try. It's like I have no other option but to succeed or crash and burn in a bonfire of my own creation.

Anyway... thanks for reading... and you better say something nice to me or I will cry.