#and he would be like
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I've been reading I Became The Tyrant Of A Defense Game lately and....
This is something Cale would do.
#I mean he would#and then he wouldn't understand why people worry#and he would be like#Guys this is a joke????#stop screaming????#tcf#lcf#I became the tyrant of a defense game#cale henituse
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cashier: your total is 16.71 solomon: *sighs wistfully* that was such a good year
#someone could talk about humans creating the wheel#and he would be like#'oh i remember that!!'#no you didn't you fucking magician#solomon#sol#from me#chats#obey me
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Me: *talking about my lovely friends on social media*
Me: *by which I mean tumblr but they don't know that*
Them: Does your husband know you're talking to men on the internet?
Them: Men or women?
Me: some of each? probably? neither?
Me: does it matter?
Them, aghast: Of course it matters!
Me: ...
Me: but
Me: please explain
Narrator: They did not explain.
#yes my husband knows i have internet friends#he does not care#i could probably visit each of you in alphabetical order for makeout sessions#and he would be like#'if it makes you happy you should do it'#actually he would be more like 'where are you getting the money for all this travel'#'did you finally figure out a way to monetise the dog?'#'could your friends come here and we can use the money for musical instruments instead?'#it is important in a relationship to have compatible priorities
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Silco and his terror of a daughter
#my art#sketchy sketch#arcane#silco#jinx#jinx and silco#silco would give jinx everything he owns and more#and that would make things worse#silco the makeup expert because he gotta use good and safe products on his own face#thats my queue to leave#silco is the worst best dad#just like jinx is the worst best daughter
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Do you ever write a sentence and then realize “Nah, that’s too self aware for you” and backspace a bunch of times.
#because I do#like a ‘he would not fucking say that’ but just about like#narration details#writing#writing problems#writer problems
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Knowledge Revenge.
#dungeon meshi#chilchuk tims#senshi#Somewhat of an unofficial sequel to the Dragon Comic. I promise I have more versatility in my jokes. I just had to take this opportunity.#Senshi is pretty much a recluse. I think he would know a few of these 'gottems' but not all.#Chilchuck would know gottems that are nearly lost to time. The deep cuts. The ones that you fall for because they are that obscure.#I would also like to take a moment to confess that after the last comic in which I posed a gottem -#I fell victim to a Mind Goblin Attack. I was thoroughly got. I will be on higher alert this time.#So NOBODY be funny in the tags. I am gullible and I like to share things with my friends. Who are *ruthless*.#I have a mild resistance to Vicious Mockery at this point but I can only take so much.#Happy Thistle Thursday Everyone! See you next week!
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I have a good friend from law school and we used to eat lunch together a few times a week, and like once a week he would be like "so I encountered this thing that I could Google but then I thought to myself 'why would I deprive Lisa the joy of ranting to me about it over lunch' so."
And rant I did.
my brothers share special interests and my favorite thing to do is walk in a room and be like "hey guys can you tell me about the mariana trench" and then sit there for an hour while they both infodump to me about the ocean it's extremely entertaining
#mostly about disability history stuff#and he would be like#i read this thing and was getting ableist or eugenicist vibes but couldn't place them#and then i'd be like ok so we have to go back to the 1920's for this one#i will admit that i less frequently asked him about his special interest#which is municipal bonds#we did get him going once though and learned a ton!
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don't show him modern technology; it won't end well
bonus under the cut:
#i'm not sure if ford would really be interested in using the internet much#but i could see him wanting to look something up real quick and ending up reading something so outrageously wrong#that it pisses him off to the point that he gets into an argument about it lol#gravity falls#stan pines#stanley pines#stanford pines#digital art#my stuff#anyway i really don't like how this one turned out#but i don't feel like changing it#bc i already spent way more time on this than i actually wanted to#and i don't wanna look at it any longer
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the funniest meltdown ive ever had was in college when i got so overstimulated that i could Not speak, including over text. one of my friends was trying to talk me through it but i was solely using emojis because they were easier than trying to come up with words so he started using primarily emojis as well just to make things feel balanced. this was not the Most effective strategy... until. he tried to ask me "you okay?" but the way he chose to do that was by sending "👉🏼👌🏼❓" and i was so shocked by suddenly being asked if i was dtf that i was like WHAT???? WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME?????????? and thus was verbal again
#yeehaw#1k#5k#10k#posts that got cursed. blasted. im making these tag updates after... 19 hours?#also i have been told it should say speech loss bc nonverbal specifically refers to the permanent state. did not know that!#unfortunately i fear it is so far past containment that even if i edited it now it would do very little. but noted for future reference#edit 2: nvm enough ppl have come to rb it from me directly that i changed the wording a bit. hopefully this makes sense#also. in case anyone is curious. though i doubt anyone who is commenting these things will check the original tags#1) my friend did not do this on purpose in any way. it was not intended to distract me or to hit on me. im a lesbian hes a gay man. cmon now#he felt very bad about it afterwards. i thought it was hilarious but it was very embarrassed and apologetic#2) “why didn't he use 🫵🏼?” didn't exist yet. “why didn't he use 🆗?” dunno! we'd been using a lot of hand emojis. 👌🏼 is an ok sign#like it makes sense. it was just a silly mixup. also No i did not invent 👉🏼👌🏼 as a gesture meaning sex. do you live under a rock#3) nonspeaking episodes are a recurring thing in my life and have been since i was born. this is not a quirky one-time thing#it is a pervasive issue that is very frustrating to both myself and the people i am trying to communicate with. in which trying to speak is#extremely distressing and causes very genuine anguish. this post is not me making light of it it's just a funny thing that happened once#it's no different than if i post about a funny thing that happened in conjunction w a physical disability. it's just me talking abt my life#i don't mind character tags tho. those can be entertaining. i don't know what any of you are talking about#Except the ppl who have said this is pego/ryu or wang/xian. those people i understand and respect#if you use it as a writing prompt that's fine but send it to me. i want to see it#aaaand i think that's it. everyday im tempted to turn off rbs on it. it hasn't even been a week
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Whoever conceived and animated this moment, I hope they're doing well and thriving. This is S-rank romance stuff here.
#the ship overall is C to A tier#but it's things like THIS that push it up toward the A#titan ae#titan a.e.#cale#akima#it just...#starts with them chilling together being comfortable in each other's space#that would be enough that's a point there#then she goes and HANDS HIM THE SANDWICH SHE'S EATING#sharing their food#that's another one#and she does it because his hands are busy so he can't feed himself#so that's a third point#and she does it WITHOUT LOOKING AT HIM which is a FOURTH point#and he bites into it without request or invitation so that's a FIFTH point#and then he TAKES THE WHOLE SANDWICH AND GULPS IT DOWN LIKE A LIZARD#which is a SIXTH point#and jumps it up to SEVEN because she pulls her fingers free and finally looks at him and yells at him#IT'S A SEVEN-POINT ROMANCE COMBO#do you know how utterly rare those are?#those are generally earned through KISS scenes where the hands move and the heads touch and maybe there's a spin#they achieved a seven-point romance combo by SHARING A SANDWICH#fixing machines and sharing lunch URRRRRRRRRRRRGHHHHH
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Katniss is such an unreliable narrator. She says "Then something unexpected happens. At least, I don't expect it because I don't think of District 12 as a place that cares about me" girl you deliver strawberries to the Mayor, you hunt and trade for the district, when you fell at Prim being chosen someone caught you, when you went to Prim people parted for you, when you volunteered EVERYONE stopped. Idk how to tell you but I think you're a pillar of the community.
#katniss everdeen#the hunger games trilogy#the hunger games#primrose everdeen#hunger games#batcavescolony reads the hunger games#suzanne collins#'now it seems i have become someone precious' NOW? GIRL BFFR you're their hunter girl#and this isn't negative just bffr girl#your WHOLE DISTRICT did the three finger salute that you yourself says means admiration thanks and goodbye to someone you love and on top is#old a rarely used. your WHOLE DISTRICT decided in that moment that they needed to bring back this sign of respect for YOU#...................................................................#idk why some people are thinking i mean this as negative i don't she is unreliable but its not intentional. like when Peeta heart stoped in#CF she doesn't know what Finnick is doing at first cus she doesn't know off the top of her head what cpr is. she also thinks Peeta after the#reaping is acting for the cameras. he isnt we dind out later his mom basically told him Katniss was gonna win and he would die. obviously#shes not doing it on purpose shes just for lack of better words uneducated? as in she doesn't know everything shes not omnipotent#so when Plutarch (? second games guy) shows her his mokingjay hiden watch shes like *wtf that's weird?* then the people traveling to#district 13 show her the mockingjay cookie and explains it and she then goes on the difference between his watch and their cookie#and why does eveyone act as if district 12 is as bad as the capital? they CANT help Katniss and Prim in the way you want. they cant give#them food. none of them have any! and im not putting iton Katniss but they hid they needed food so they could stay together. it sounds like#some of you are in this our world mentally of what people do after a loved one dies (brings food constantly checks on them etc) district 12#cant do that. they dont have food and they're all suffering. you cant give someone food when you have none to give. then theirs the fact#that peeta DID help. Peeta buring the bread and tossing some to her then taking a beating from his mom is a HUGE thing in the books.#he used his resources to help her like you all said someone should.#district 12 DID (rip) care about Katniss before the hunger games. why do you think she was allowed to hunt? or how her trades were good#these are the little ways 12 can shows Katniss they love her. but again Katniss doesn't see this and YES its because she had ptsd before the#hunger games as well. i swear some of you make it seem like d12 was all living a life of luxury and glaring down at Katniss.#other things that show Katniss is in hight standing with at least her people of d12 is her dad was known enough through d12 for peeta dad to#comment on his singing along with his commenting on her mom. also her mom is a healer in the community. yeah her parents arnt the top but#of d12 but they are/were definitely high staning in the Seam.
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Please note. The orange one is not included because A. He isn’t a billionaire. And B. Calling him obnoxious is too kind for him.
#billionaire#rich people#Elon would just be insufferable#just the worst case of “needs to be the smartest kid in the room syndrome ever#I feel Zuckerberg has actually worked on himself a lot lately and he would be reasonably chill to hang out with#still evil#but he doesn’t come across as insecure alien anymore#bezos also seems like he’d actually be a cool guy to hang out with#again. still super evil#but I think I could survive a few hours stuck with him without bludgeoning myself to death
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ohhhhh okay
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THEY MAKE ME INSANE
Proof below:
Also, I’m fucking crying, I think his arm is like that bc he fell asleep holding the photo.
EDIT: more proof:
#than Laura drove them home…#I wonder if Logan continued to sleep in the car or if he woke up and helped carry Deadpool inside and place him on the bed#or did Logan also get dragged to the bed? while asleep?#he weighs like 600 lbs because of the metal so it would be incredibly hard to do#correction he weighs between 350 to 425 lbs#deadpool and wolverine#wolverine#deadpool#poolverine
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one thing that took me embarrassingly long to learn is "sometimes when people say things, they will not be true."
I used to tell people about this revelation and they'd be like yeah.....duh.....but like, why wouldn't my base assumption be that you're communicating to me in a straightforward manner. anyway, I get scammed a lot.
#example: a 'friend' in middle school told me I should ask a guy out. she said 'he'll totally say yes'.#he did not. which was the obvious outcome#but it took me years to realize that she'd said that hoping to fuel some drama for her own entertainment.#ANOTHER EXAMPLE#a guy in college approached me saying that he'd been seeing me around campus but was always too shy to talk to me#and that he really wanted to get to know me#so I was like wow 🥺 romance 🥺 and hopped into bed with him#and afterward I was like what do you wanna do 😊 should we see a movie 😊 should we go out 😊#and he was like nope. byeeee.#and I realized I got bamboozled into sex#total shocked pikachu face#I'm still not the best at this tbh. I'm like 'why would this person lie to me. lying is bad'.#anyway this is why I not looking forward to entering the dating world again#DONT BAMBOOZLE ME I'M GULLIBLE
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Got a Polaroid camera for my birthday and instantly thought of these losers.
#sonic#sonic the hedgehog#shadow the hedgehog#sonadow#sonic movie 3#No spoilers for the movie just my sillay thoughts#MARIA WOULD HAVE TOTES HAD ONE#I like to hang up my pics on my the little decorative rope I have in my room with some lights#Definitely smth I think movie sonic would love to do after he figures this ancient tech out with shads help HSHSJSHHS#My art
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