#and he wasnt even that experienced in general at the time

[redbean-nom]

kind of funny how fanon tup is always The Baby but also he shot two jedi (one w intent to kill and the other to stun) and was successful both times

[tyunn1ngz]

hueningkai nsfw alphabet

cw: gn!reader i think ? to the best of my ability anyways and no gender is stated regardless

a = aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

total softie!!!!!!:( wants to be held and wants to hold u and its just oh-so delicate and tender just two lovers in ur own little safety bubble— giggles w hushed pinky promises that u will meet in ur dreams that night

b = body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

on himself his lips and his fingers— his lips on urs, his fingers in u; his fingers in ur mouth, he’s obsessed w it all, he likes it so much

on u ur thighs and tummy!!! marking u up all over and squishing the skin under his fingertips, rubbing over ur tummy when hes inside u just to watch u squirm and gasp .. ( ；∀；)

c = cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

his cock gets so wet when hes hard n he cums a lot its so cute really especially cuz he’d get so shy abt it <3

d = dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

gets off to ur voice sometimes— like listens back to voice notes u’ll send him even if all u r doing is talking abt ur day and gets himself so hard out of nowhere he loves hearing u

e = experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

a big virgin w no idea what hes doing before u but thats ok!!!!! thats what practice is all abt !!!!!!! more fun for u especially bc hes such an eager learner <3

f = favourite position (this goes without saying)

spooning or riding — spooning is so intimate and he can feel up ur thighs and tummy so nicely that way, or dip his hands to bring u more pleasure to ur sex; and u riding him means u can take the reins and he’s very into that! use him to get urself off honey!

g = goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

silly for the most part, its more relaxing and comforting that way, sex isn’t some performance between u two. but sometimes it feels like his brain just melts and pours out his ears so thats when it’ll seem more serious, bc u’ll have just a soft big eager puppy on ur hands then :<

h = hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

for my own personal bias. No shaving. all his body hair in tact. everyone listen to me bc that is SEXY. his happy trail ohhgod

i = intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

very intimate, has to be touching u at all times it’d be like chopping a limb off if u told him he wasnt allowed to touch u. loves rubbing his cheeks against urs idk thats just a thing in my head

j = jack off (masturbation headcanon)

cracks knuckles what do u guys know abt PLUSHIE HUMPER kai who steals sprays of ur perfume or lets u cuddle a specific one so it’ll smell like u when he fucks it later and cries ur name softly … what do u KNOW!!!!!!!!!!!!

k = kink (one or more of their kinks)

nipple play. make this boy cum from just playing w his nipples i swear to god. and when hes more on the dominant sides of things definitely dacryphilia imo

l = location (favorite places to do the do)

just the bedroom !!! but maybe a quickie in the bathroom at a party could be up his alley too whos the say ;p

m = motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

watching u get changed or get ready in general, defo also gets so hard when u do smth as simple as sit in his lap and move a little too much hes just too easy !!!!!!!!!!

n = no (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

nothing too rough and violent, and not heavy on the degradation either. just a tiny bit sometimes but hes more abt praise!! dont b too mean to him he’ll get stuck in his head :( not too fond of too much degradation towards u for this reason too! just a little if its what ur into but he prefers being nice to u its just in his nature no matter how bratty u get w him </3

o = oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

a giver, bc it means he can make u feel good and also be between ur thighs which make for great earmuffs! not very good at it sometimes but his eagerness makes up for it!!!! other times he’s absolutely expert w his tongue its insane

he does love receiving tho!!!!! as much as he won’t admit it bc he thinks it’ll make him selfish for some reason Σ('◉⌓◉’) loves when u take him especially deep— rly makes his thighs shake and u have to keep ur hands on his hips to keep him from practically fucking ur throat >_>

p = pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

gentle but kinda fast ? he gets so desperate and pathetic that he needs it to be faster but he can’t hurt u so he’s gentle by nature. he’ll get a lil rougher when he’s closer to cumming tho or if u rly push for it<3

q = quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

don’t happen often but when they do they’re the hottest thing in the world. he either goes so dumb hes basically melted into ur arms and pleading, almost in tears or! he’s finally treating u like u won’t break and just taking what he wants, whispering how good u feel and how a little part of him wants someone to walk in and see u breaking in his hold :3c

r = risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

a little! nothing crazy but if theres a more tame fantasy u wanna try he’d defo be down, and he’s happy to tell u his own fantasies, even if his face burns up w embarrassment w every word. not too fond on risks, not big ones anyway but little thrills r always fun!!!! ฅ/ᐠ. ̫ .ᐟ\ฅ

s = stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

doesnt last long the first round especially but he’ll go as many rounds as u want. obsessed w how u feel when u cum on his cock so if u orgasm once and its not w him inside u ur gonna be going again and even then it might not be enough he’ll be overstimulating the both of u to the heavens— just be aware of that !

t = toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

lowk vibrator obsession, loves watching u use it, loves using it on himself, loves using it on u, u using it on him— u both using at the same time, pressed up against either side of it and crying into each others mouths .. could also see him loving the idea of having a fleshlight. Gulps. ＿|￣|○

u = unfair (how much they like to tease)

teases u a lot when hes in charge just to see ur glassy eyes and pretty lips form a pout, but hes pretty hypocritical bc he doesnt like to be teased and he’ll get so pathetic when u do .. sigh

v = volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

louder when hes closer to cumming, whimpers and gaspy moans that grow louder and higher in pitch the closer he gets, probably likes to stuff his face in a pillow or plushie to keep himself quiet bc he gets so embarrassed but he sounds so pretty :((((

w = wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

never really puts u in ur place when u act bratty but one time he just snaps and ur legs were trembling for a good two days after; good thing he was back to his little angelic self and carried u everywhere

x = x-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

big hes hung asf. personally im a little more interested in the 50 pounds of ass he carries around but ig his cock is also important in this category

y = yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

HIGH! .. once he gets a taste of sex— of you, he is insatiable woooo boy

z = zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

hes not conking out until ur asleep first!!!!!!! so however long ur awake for after all is done, he’s up too!!!! no matter how hard his eyelids try to droop closed ok and if ur not sleepy hes not either (he is but just keep talking ok he’ll keep fighting it off)

[dear-ao3]

Not in the F1 fandom, but it is fun to get the occasional no context tidbit from you. However, we have some more time tonight. What is the Hot Gossip/Big Beef going on in the community right now?

well well let me briefly enlighten you about the shit storm at williams:

logan sargeant was dropped last week and replaced by a driver in f2 named franco colapinto. there had been various threats by williams team principal james vowels about this throughout the season because logan hasn't scored any points (their other driver, alex albon, who is far more experienced than logan has only scored 4 points this season. logans car has also been running parts from last year because they had a supply issue and couldnt get updated parts for his car all the time)

logan, btw, was brought into f1 too early from f2 by williams because they needed to fill a seat. so logan was lacking experience and was only resigned for this year cause they couldnt get anyone better. it was announced recently that he was getting replaced for next year but then they announced he was getting replaced for the remainder of this year on wednesday. logan himself found on tuesday.

his replacement, franco colapinto, was also a williams f2 driver and is even more unprepared than logan was. he has only done half of a season in f1 and prior to the race last weekend had only done 8 consecutive laps in an f1 car.

williams could have replaced logan with the mercedes reserve driver, mick schumacher (williams does not have reserve drivers because they use the mercedes ones because they use mercedes engines, kinda complex just go with it). mick has 2 years experience in f1 and is currently crushing it in another racing series (endurance racing).

when asked why he didnt go with mick, james vowels said that it was because mick was "nothing special" and then later apologized (after being roasted about it by mercedes team principal toto wolff) saying that he meant that he wasnt a generational talent like senna or max verstappen or whoever (probably a dig that he is not as talented as his dad was, michael schumacher, the 7x world champion).

this past weekend there was a race in italy. franco's name was spelled wrong on the garage by williams. but he managed to finish in 12th (impressive when you remember that the williams car sucks and this kid had virtually no prep or experience and this is the fastest track on the calendar).

mick usually is in the paddock at mercedes if hes not racing in WEC but this weekend he was in texas for a race. his mother though, corinna schumacher, was seen in the f1 paddock in italy. her son wasnt there so she really had no reason to be there.

turns out that she went to italy pretty much just to yell at james vowels publicly for insulting her son.

[ravenromanova]

You’re such a bitch

Pairings: Wanda x Female Avenger (Reader is an ex black widow)

Warnings: Enemies to lovers, Mean Wanda (For a little) SMUT DO NOT READ IF YOU ARE UNDER 18+!!!!! Mommy kink, Fingering, ENCHANTED STRAPPPPP, Oral, Thigh riding. DO NOT READ IF YOU ARE UNDERAGE

Summary: When you get locked in a room with Wanda the two of you quickly figure out a way to solve your problems.

Kinktober masterlist - Main masterlist - Send me requests!!!

~

You could feel her eyes burning into the back of your skull as you landed blow after blow on the punching bag. She wasnt even supposed to be back from her mission yet but you weren’t gonna let her run you out of the training room You tried to ignore the daggers being thrown your way and just keep focusing but it was hard.

“Can i help you with something or are you just gonna keep staring at me?” You question the witch as you turn around to face her. She raises her eyebrow and scoffs at you.

“Just was seeing how the weakest link was doing” Venom dripped off Wandas voice as she spoke.

“Forget i asked” You pushed passed her grabbing you water and your bag before walking out of the training room not wanting to fight with her yet again.

Ever since you got recruited for the Avengers Wanda has been nothing but rude and bitchy. No one knows why in all honestly, everyone thought she would like you with how bubbly you were. But nope she treated you like a child, belittled your abilities and trauma, made you feel worthless and was just overall rude. At first you thought it was because you were new but its been three years of this. So you finally started snapping back at her and treating her like how she treated you.

And ever since you had started snapping back she had just gotten meaner. The team had tried to get you two to talk it through but that didn’t work. So they decided that the two of you weren’t allowed of missions alone or allowed to be along in general. Granted Wanda still got you alone just to belittle you like now.

“Why do you always run away? Scared of a little confrontation?” She sneered following behind you making you groan.

“Because why would i wanna sit here and listen to you belittle me Wanda? I dont even know what the hell i did to you” You replied feeling yourself getting worked up.

“Maybe if you weren’t a whiny child id actually like you” Wanda crossed her arms over her chest and tilting her head.

“You’re such a bitch you know that right? Ive been nothing but nice to you since i joined and you’ve been nothing but an ice cold bitch. I’m fucking done with it. I’m done with the snide remarks. I’m just done” Your words catch her off guard a little as she sees your resolve start to crumble. “You aren’t the only one who has to deal with shit and you just make my life ten times harder than it needs to be. Leave me the fuck alone” And with that you walk off to your room leaving Wanda in the hallway stunned.

As you walked away Wanda went to her room and just sat there feeling like shit. It’s not that Wanda didn’t like you… Hell she loved you but she was scared. She has never experienced love before and from the moment she met you she fell for you. You were bright eyed and bushy tailed when you first joined. You had been so nice and loving to her at first it threw her for a loop. So she thought that if she was bitchy towards you that you wouldn’t want to be near you. And it worked you started fighting back and Wanda was proud.. That was until she started to miss your sunny disposition. But she knew it was for the best atleast this way you weren’t tainted by her darkness.

When you had finally made it back to your room you had fallen onto your bed and broke down. You didn’t understand what you did to make her hate you so much and it killed you. Since the moment you joined the team the witch had your attention. She was beautiful and alluring and all you wanted was to be close to her until she started he shit. And once the bullying got out of hand you snapped back and it felt good and then you promised yourself you were gonna stick up for yourself.

You thought the shit you had to endure in The Red Room was bad? Nothing compared to the coldness you felt from Wanda. In all honesty you were still madly in love with her but gave up any hope of her being interested when the shit started. So you just decided to keep your distance from her even thought she never let it happen.

“Miss L/n Mr.Stark requests your presence in the conference room immediately” F.R.I.D.A.Y’s voice pulls you out of your thoughts and you reluctantly walk to the conference room.

When you had gotten to the room you saw Stark and Wanda. Stark looked like a disappointed dad and Wanda looked like a teenager getting yelled at. They both turned to look at you as you entered shooting Tony a confused look.

“Ah y/n sit please” He said motioning for you to sit and you chose a chair farthest from Wanda.

“Uh why am i here?” You ask starting to feel a little anxious. The witch groaned and rolled her eyes at your question making Tony scowl at her.

“Well F.R.I.D.A.Y had informed me of the encounter between the two of you this morning and i think it’s time the two of you talk it out.” Tony said with a look of genuine concern as he looked at you.

“I dont think thats necessary Stark. Just keep her away from me and I’ll be fine” You try to reason with him but he shakes his head despite your protests.

“I’m sorry but that just wont work. You two need to talk it out.” He said looking in between you and Wanda. Wanda huffed in annoyance and rolled her eyes while you tried to argue with Stark.

“You two are leaving this room until you work it out.” And with that he ran out of the room locking you two in it.

“STARK!” Wanda yelled banging on the door and trying to open it with her powers.

“Sorry witchy youre wiggly woos wont work” He said through the intercom. “Talk it out or be stuck in here forever” Then suddenly you heard him activate barn door protocol and the entire room went on lockdown.

“Oh my fucking god” You groan resting your head in your hands. Wanda kept trying to open the door with blasts but it didn’t work. She eventually gave up and slumped back into her chair not even bothering to look at you.

The room was filled with an uncomfortable silence as the two of you just sat there staring at the ceiling. Sure you could’ve used this time to actually solve your problems with the witch but if she wasnt going to talk neither were you.

“This is ridiculous” She mumbled under her breath running her hand through her hair.

“You’re the reason we are even here” You remind her making her scoff in annoyance. “Why do you even hate me anyways? What did i even do to you?” The question takes Wanda by surprise and she stands up and walks closer to you. She leaned against the table in front of you making your eyes meet hers.

“I-I dont hate you y/n” She said softly pulling a chair up and sitting next to you.

“Sure seems like you do” You remark with your eyebrow raised. Wanda sighed and shook her head at your statement.

“That means i did what i wanted” Her words made you title your head in confusion and you furrow your brows. “I pushed you away because i didn’t want you to get caught up in my darkness, everyone i have ever loved has died its like im cursed. And when you first joined you were so pure and sweet and-and it scared the shit out of me. I’m sorry i hurt you i meant to push you away… not hurt you” Wandas confession was not what you were expecting. You looked into her eyes to see if she was telling the truth and you saw nothing but genuine truth behind her words.

“You aren’t cursed Wanda” You said softly grabbing her hands and rubbing your thumb over her knuckles. “Bad things happen all the time but it doesn’t mean you should turn yourself away from the good things.” Wandas entire demeanor softened at your words. For the first time in a long time she thought that maybe she deserved something good.

“I’m so fucking sorry for the way i’ve treated you” She apologized cupping your cheek with her soft hand. It felt like time was moving slowly as you and her stared into each others eyes.

“Show me how sorry you are” You whispered leaning in close to her your lips hovering over hers. Wanda wasted no time in crashing her lips into yours. You moaned at the taste of her as you kissed her with more passion than you thought possible. She grabbed your hips and moved you to sit on her lip not breaking the kiss once.

Instinctively you started to grind your hips down onto her thigh to relive the throbbing in your core. Her hands found their way under your shirt and grasped at your clothed chest. She was quick to remove your clothes with her powers leaving you naked on her lap.

“So pretty malyshka” She whispered kissing below your ear. You kept grinding down on her thigh leaving a wet spot on her clothed thigh. Her ringed fingers found their way down your chest slowly making their way to your clit.

“Oh fuck” You moaned feeling her cold fingers rub circles on your clit. You started grinding yourself against her faster as she plays with you eliciting moans from you.

“Cum for malysh” She eggs you on by adding one finger into you making you moan in satisfaction.

“Oh fuck mommy-“ The title slips from your lips before you could stop it and you halt your movements and stare at her in embarrassment. She looked at you with wide eyes smiling at the name you called her.

“Say it again baby” Wanda pleaded looking up at you with her green eyes and devilish smile.

“Please mommy fuck me” You beg picking up grinding on her thigh making wet noises come from your pussy.

“Fuck-“ She muttered picking you up by your thighs then laid you down on the table and spreading your legs.

Her tongue darted out to lick a stripe on your pussy. She moaned at the taste of you invading her senses. She started eating you out like she’s never eaten before.

“Oh right there mommy!” Your hands flew to her hair when she adds two fingers in you hitting your g-spot. Wanda groans when she feels your walls clench around her fingers sending vibrations through you.

“G-Gonna cu-cum mommy fuck!” Your screams filled the office and you were never more thankful for soundproofing than you are now.

“Cum for me baby let go” She mumbles thrusting now three fingers in you. Her pace never relented as she fucked into you hitting all the right spots.

“FUCK!” You scream and the knot in your stomach snaps and you come undone on her tongue.

“So good malysh” Wanda praised bringing you in for a sloppy kiss. The mix of your arousal and her cherry chapstick makes you melt further into the kiss. Wanda flicks her wrist and her clothes come off and a strap appears on her waist.

Your eyed widened at the strap that adorned her waist. It was red and by father the biggest you have ever had. “Need to be in you baby” She groaned rubbing the faux cock against your puffy folds. Little did you know that the strap had been enchanted so she could feel everything.

“Fuck me mommy” You plead grasping at her to bring her closer to you. She smiled softly at you as her hands grasped the strap and slowly entered you. Once she bottomed out her hips stuttered at the feeling of your walls clenching down on her.

“So fucking tight” She moaned setting a slow pace careful not to hurt you. You were losing your mind feeling Wanda kiss your g-spot with the tip of the strap. The room was filled with both of your moans accompanied by the sound by skin slapping against each other.

“R-Right there mommy oh my god-“ Your moans are cut off as you cum for the second time.

“Such a good girl” She praised fucking into you as she chases her own orgasm. “Fuck!” Wanda grunted as she came . Her hips stilled and she pulled out of you slowly despite your whines.

“T-That was fucking amazing” You said sitting up on the table trying to catch your breath. Wanda chuckled and flicked her wrist dressing you both again.

“Agreed malysh” She whispered giving you a passionate kiss. The two of you got so lost in each other you didn’t even hear the locks and door opening.

“Well done you two” Tonys voice came from the intercom. You and Wanda both looked at each other and giggled.

The two of you walked out of the room and went back to Wandas room hand in hand with smiles on your faces. When you get to her room you lay on her bed with open arms. She laughs and crawls over to you and lays you down on her chest.

“I love you” She whispers kissing your head.

“I love you too” You said with a bright smile and gave her a kiss on the cheek. The rest of the night was spent with Wanda showing you just how much she loved you and you relishing in her love. Who knew the bitchy witch could be such a softie.

~The end~

I do not give permission for my work to be copied or translated on other cites

tag list @cakechan123

[ppnuggie]

　　　　　　MTMTE x gn reader

　　　　『　rodimus ,, ultra magnus ,, chromedome ,, rewind ,, megatron ,, whirl ,, tailgate ,, swerve ,, cyclonus ,, first aid ,, ratchet ,, drift ,, gender neutral reader 』

　　-> christmas on the lost light

　　— fluff ,, sfw ,, crack

　　— sorry i havent been uploading as much 😭💔 ive been busy with work and school ,, but im on christmas break so hopefully ill be able to get through the few requests i have sitting in my inbox rn and reopen requests :(( ima try to start uploading more now as much as i can ❤️ heres a little something for christmas though ! hope you all enjoy christmas this year <3

• it was natural for the bots aboard to be interested in human customs ,, having lived in a war most their life . death and violence were something they were quite used to experiencing ,, never really having the time to experience anything outside of the horrors of war itself .

• swerve was one of the few main bots that pestered you often about human holidays . cybertronians didn't celebrate much ,, unless they were a group of autobots who just gave some decepticons a what-for .

• then again ,, swerve usually asked many questions regarding things on earth and what humans do . sometimes you humored him ,, sometimes you told little lies ,, like if you clapped three times in a mall it would be a sign that a tiger was loose . it was quite fun to put silly nonsense in that processor of his at times .

• though when it came to christmas he would not leave you alone . whether you celebrated it or not ,, you still explained the custom in general to him . how old saint nicholas would mosey on down the chimney ,, eat the cookies and drink the milk left out for him ,, and leave presents under the tree lit well and adorned with ornaments .

• you even pulled up the santa tracker for swerve ,, showing him where santa would go and be ,, how on christmas eve he would be flying around with his reindeer and leave presents

• hearing all of this intrigued chromedome and rewind ,, as well as tailgate and whirl . cyclonus didn't understand the hype and belief of having an old random man leave gifts in your house and eat your food even if left out specifically him . tailgate was thrilled though ,, a funny little old man leaving him gifts seemed so heavenly to him . chromedome and rewind ,, however ,, had different opinions . rewind was interested in this human holiday ,, whilst chromedome shared the same opinion as cyclonus . how were you sure this 'santa' guy wasnt gonna rob you ? and when you were sleeping nonetheless .

• rodimus already knew of this tradition ,, as did ratchet and ultra magnus . rodimus was quite ecstatic at the idea of having a christmas party ,, watching christmas movies and sipping on energon . maybe he could even have you sit on his lap ,, all cozy in those soft blankets and sippin on your own mug of hot chocolate .

• ratchet couldnt care less ,, grumbling something about how 'you humans and your holidays and customs' . though he definitely didnt deny the offer of going to this christmas party ,, it was nice to spend some time that didn't involve life threatening situations for once .

• ultra magnus ,, on the other hand ,, was quite picky about how the christmas party should be set up . he even tried to ban home alone ,, saying he didnt want rodimus to get any ideas from the traps in the movie . the last thing he needed was to end up in one the next day . though ,, the many outweigh the few ,, and so home alone was allowed in the movie marathon .

• now when you told him about the grinch ,, he wasnt sure if you were mocking him by saying it was an actual movie or if he should be concerned for what this dr.seuss guy was drawing . i mean ,, have you seen how hairy the grinch is ? or how the whos in whoville are shaped ? pointy noses and all ,, it was quite new to magnus .

• megatron ,, who overheard everything ,, already knew he wasnt going to be wanted at the party . it made sense ,, his past and everything he's done to earth and its people . though when you asked him to come ,, that you personally wanted him there ,, he swore he felt his spark stop for a second . he only gave a nod ,, whilst ravage bickered to him that night in his habsuite .

• whirl ,, to say the least ,, was prepared to fight santa . he was watching the santa tracker ,, waiting for the jolly fellow to pop up so whirl could fly down and bring out the big guns ( that brainstorm recently made ,, not yet tested out or put through a test trial so lord knows what may go wrong) . magnus almost had to throw him in the brig if he couldnt contain his sudden rage and fury for the old man .

• first aid was somewhat interested ,, never having celebrated a holiday before . it would be nice ,, getting together and doing nothing but watching movies all day . he hadnt seen movies from earth that much either ,, besides a few fast n furious ones here and there . needless to say ,, he was somewhat concerned for humans need to trash cars . he cringed a little on the inside ,, watching those perfectly good cars blow up . it was like a horror movie but for cybertronians .

• during the movie marathon ,, whirl tried to sneak violent night and black christmas in ,, saying they were also christmas movies and that they should watch them . magnus ended up throwing them out ,, saying no one really felt like seeing dying people during this one time of peace .

• drift enjoyed the nightmare before christmas ,, the claymation alone was enough to captivate him . then the designs of the characters ,, the music and songs ,, even jack's childlike wonder for christmas matched his own (in a few ways) . during that movie you sat with him ,, sharing a few facts about the movie itself . how long it took to make and how hard it is to do claymation movies .

• during the polar express you stayed with rewind and chromedome ,, snuggling in between the two and sippin on your hot chocolate . rewind enjoyed watching the train on the ice whilst chromedome puffed about how he coulda easily done that himself and saved everyone . you only rolled your eyes ,, muttering out a sure as you fought back a smile .

• during a break in between the movies you noticed megatron ,, standing awkwardly in the corner with his own cube of fools energon in servo . you smiled at the bot ,, walking up to him and having a small conversation with him . you didnt honestly think he’d show up ,, but youre glad he did . he let you sit with him during one of the movies ,, bonding well with the giant bot .

• he was quite warm ,, heat coming from off his body as you huddled close to him . he tucked his servo around you ,, worried you may fall off . for a few moments during the movie you swore you saw him smile at some of the corniest parts ,, or chuckle softly at some of the dumbest jokes .

• you took turns ,, switching between bots during different movies . you would sit in their laps ,, explain little things you liked about the movie playing and share a few things of your own childhood during this time of the year .

• it was nice ,, to say the least . having time to the bots ,, doing things that reminded you of home . it wasnt the same ,, but it was the thought that counted . spending time with them peacefully was more than enough for you ,, and definitely more than you could ask for this christmas .

[crushedsweets]

What was Toby like during middle school?

kind of obnoxious. he was already being homeschooled by this point, so he wasn't experiencing constant bullying by peers. but he also wasnt getting socialized

around middle school he started getting kinda mean to lyra, snapping at her and calling her names and telling her all her clothes look stupid and whatnot - as well as backtalk to his parents, locking himself in his room, etc

BUT he had so much freetime all the time that he just spend forever googling random shit. knows how to do a rubiks cubes, tons of rando technology and engineering videos, plays the guitar, video game strategies, random shit. so some days, when his mood is better and nobody is pissing him off (aka breathing wrong), he'd sit and talk to lyra about the stuff he's into. and then they'd be alright. she'd start making him watch some of her favorite movies. force him to do a facemask for fun. they'd cook with their mom. lyra and toby played a ton of soccer when toby was in elementary school, so they might get back into that on warmer days. he hated going to the mall with lyra cuz lyra would make him talk to the cashier if he wanted to buy smth. then if he got awkward she's be annoying and go 'ooohhh did you think she was pretty' and he'd tell her to shut up. then they'd go get frozen yogurt or something. but it was a rare occurrence cuz some people were still mean, even adults treating him like a pest who needs to get out of every store

so in general. he's just a moody little smartass. and of course, very awkward.

[faerise-fae]

Not really a marauders character but: Tom Riddle #20!

YAPPING WARNING ABOUT ASPD TOM RIDDLE AGAIN

Ok so sorry for taking so long to do this, but my brain crashes every time i try to think about something that isn't obvious or just fucking boring. BUT I REALLY WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT WITH YALL SO GIVE ME YOUR THOUGHTS

The hill I'll die on is that he is an ASPD baddie, tho I bet he would prefer thinking about himself as sociopath, as edgy teens do. It doesn't mean I think he is totally emotionless, i think he is very emotional. Just not empathetic? This man is purely driven by his emotions from the start. Be it fear of death, resentment, and hatred towards Dumbledore or just general anger directed at the stupidity of the wizarding nation. In ASPD it's just that the intensity of expression of those emotions is different. He can look totally put together and like an oasis of peace, but inside planning whatever insanities only he can think of.

Because the thing is, anger issues are not rare in ASPD. ASPD is associated with impulsiveness and violent or risky behaviours, which can result in lashing out in anger. It's just that when you don't have many emotions to begin with, controlling the stronger ones can be difficult.

People have very different headcanons about him in that matter, i see a lot of totally stoic, calculating tom riddle who doesn't have absolutely any emotions and stuff like this, but I really can't see it. My man is a dramatic, cruel, entitled and IMPULSIVE edgelord BUT:

HOT TAKE #1:

Canon Tom Riddle headcanonned himself as fanon Tom Riddle.

He might have thought of himself as emotionless, but he just didn't acknowledge it. Growing up in an unstable environment, he hadn't learned how to stabilize himself.

Because ASPD is partialy caused by genetics, yes. But a very big factor in developing it is childhood and home life. We can agree his was very unstable, he has probably witnessed violence and definitely experienced emotional neglect. ASPD is all about lack of security. Its defence mechanism. That means:

My man just doesn't know how to cope, LMAO. When it was too much even for him to stuff into the back of his brain, he just lashed out. Acting on impulses was his relief from it. Adrenaline from it also helped to mute his feelings.

But at the same time, he just didn't think of himself as unreasonable. "It was never his fault, he was just provoked!" He also didn't feel guilty about causing harm to others because he didn't have any empathetic feelings towards anyone. How can you feel bad about idk, cursing someone if you don't see them as an individual with feelings of their own. Because how could he think about their feelings when he didn't have much of his own to compare and to even comprehend what they feel beside some very shallow understanding. AND BY THAT I DONT MEAN HE DIDNT KNOW HE WAS HURTING PEOPLE AROUND HIM HE WASNT A POOR LITTLE MEOW MEOW. HE KNEW, HE JUST DIDNT GET IT SO HE DIDNT CARE. But he obviously knew. So no empathy but more like an educated guess. Masking king. He learnt how emotions worked for other people and used it whenever he saw fit. Pure manipulation.

Because again neglectful caregiving = problems with attachment to people and forming relationships. In the end it's all about him in that aspect. His feelings are always about himself and making himself feel comfortable and stable. He was fond of his friends till they were useful and till he felt good with having them around. He took pride* in gaining their respect and loyalty. He was using them to stroke his ego basically. And was using them in general. For stuff and things.

*HOT TAKE #2:

And here i have my latest hot take: his similarity with Harry in that matter. Harry is a gryffindor with some slytherin traits. And imo Tom, with him being the most slytherin to ever slytherin, his crazy pride and impulsivity is so gryffindor.

So there's that beside how we can all agree he was a liar and manipulator.

[the-s1lly-corner]

Hi. Can I request something similar to the immortals outliving you? Could it be with the rest of the characters and us passing from other causes?

Their reactions to losing you

I wasnt sure if you wanted the immortals as well, so I added them in here as well!

This is all written in one go since tumblr doesnt let me save drafts for asks so I apologize for any spelling/grammar mistakes <\3 it's like 1am rn

CONTENT WARNINGS, idk what all needs a warning but I'd rather play it VERY safe:

M*rder

M*rder revenge, almost all of them touch on it tbh, love me the revenge trope

Snorts^

D3ath, obviously

Grief and the general hurt that comes with it

In EJs case he sees your death first hand

Does violently slamming yourself around count as SH /genq, because if so that's vagued in EJs part as well

Maskys handles a hit and run but its vague

Masky also hints to a smoking addiction

Nonspecific illness in hoodies part

Slenderman;

I remember that I mentioned this for Slendermans part, but I had an idea that he already accepted that fact that you wouldn't last forever

But I don't remember if I mentioned/vagued the idea of how he'd react to you're life being forcibly cut short

Accepting the fact you'll eventually pass away does nothing when he finds out someone else was responsible for your sudden end

All that comes out is a cold rage, something that the creature hasn't experienced in a long time

Writing this, it makes me remember that clip from the first episode of castlevania where dracula appears in the fire in episode one, after they kill his wife

But instead of carelessly showing himself to the world in a fit of rage, he fiercely protects everything that you touched; his forest, your home, your grave, ect

But despite the rage he doesnt immediately take down the person who caused this

Nonono, he does what he does best; he chips away at the person's mind through stalking and paranoia, essentially tormenting them for.. god knows how long until he gets bored

When he does decide hes through with them he'll make sure their... death... is drawn out

Basically don't meddle in the life of a forest monster; he may be a very... passionate.. lover

Splendorman;

Incredibly similar to the other version of this post where he naturally outlives you

But if you pass unnaturally, he'd be even more torn up about it

His time with you was already going to be short to begin with, but it was cut down even shorter

Doesnt matter the cause; murder, illness, accident, ect.. he'll be just as broken up

There's no real significant changes; he still mourns and honors you the same way for the most part

Laughing Jack;

It was an accident; one day you were there and the next, gone

He would stay in the house for a few days, not even knowing what was going on

At first he'd be worried and confused, before those feelings would deepen into something debilitating

He'd probably eventually find out through the news, after turning on the tv to pass the time and fill the silence

His worry immediately morphs into ice cold; he could feel his heart drop

He'd throw caution to the wind and try to track down whoever did he

He doesnt care if it was an accident, he wants justice and compensation

He follows a similar route as slenderman; the only thing is, is that jack lacks the patience to draw it out

After everything is said and done he's beside himself; avenging you didnt bring him back and it hardly made him feel better

He likely just. Goes back to what he was doing before he met you; drifting from house to house and causing havoc; but now he carries a melancholic aura

Eyeless Jack;

Another story of revenge, but with a twist so his part isnt too similar to LJ and slenders

So I'll be using the idea I should've given slenderman (but I'm too stubborn to rewrite his part)

Like Slenderman, Jack is seen as a cryptid and thus, there are naturally going to be people trying to hunt him down. Especially considering before he was a cursed monster he was a normal dude who got caught up in a whole... thing... and who's body was obviously never found as it still walks

Jack is.. semi used to that; but one day he completely catches him off guard, and what's worse is that you were there when it happened

It was a group, too, usually they come in two; but there were more that day. If it were less Jack could have easily put a stop to it all

It escalated

You had tried to step in to help him, to buy him some time so he could run; but it all went wrong

I don't like going into detail about this kind of thing, so this will be up to interpretation

The whole thing flings him into a rage and he makes quick work of the remaining hunters, but it's all too late

Even if he wasn't, how could he help? He cant just leave the woods and dump you at a hospital... but he doesnt have the supplies to help you then and there... and even if he did you were both much too far away from the cabin

It just leaves him helplessly trying to stop the bleeding

He hardly ever leaves the woods after that; not even to eat

He's resorted to.. rather violently subduing the monstrous side of him that craves flesh

There's broken furniture everywhere

He blames himself

He should have had you stay in the cabin

He should have told you to run

He should have told you to hide

He should've...

The worst thing is that he begins to believe that it was his fault; afterall he let you out of his sight when he began fighting. Even worse, and perhaps stupidly, he believed this wouldn't have happened if he never met you

Its

Rough

Masky;

He just sits there, quietly

Be it shock or something else he just sits there

But his mind is going a mile a minute to try to figure out what exactly happened to you

You were.. in a wreck, and the other person just. Fled.

As feral as I tend to write and interpret masky, he can be thorough when it comes to investigating

Though I'm torn in whether or not he'd actually be able to find the person; especially because I'm kinda. Dumb when it comes to crime stuff and I'm not about to do mental gymnastics on something I'm not confident in <\3

In terms of grief, he seems... lost...

I don't usually hc that Masky smokes; that's just a Tim thing

But I feel like the smoking would bleed into Masky and become a whole... issue.. whether or not Tim as his own person knows about you/was involved with you is up to interpretation; as I tend to write the proxies as a separate.. thing

Still trying to find the correct term

But yeah

Focusing back in on Masky, he's kinda just lost. Angry, definitely, but mostly just. Wandering through life

He doesn't want to forget you

Hoodie;

Similar to Masky he's quiet and lost

Similarly he would feel the urge to try to find out who took you away; but I feel we've had enough "S/o dies at the hands of someone else" for this post, so we'll do something else... and because I fear hoodies portion will be too similar to maskys

You got sick, to put it simply

It's.. odd..

He's well aware that you're deteriorating, and he's aware that time is running out

But he can't help but feel calm in your presence; its only when you're apart that he feels that dread, and its constant

Maybe it's the fact that when he's with you he can easily convince himself that, in that moment, you're alright

It hurts when it finally happens

Out of all the guys, he's probably the most normal(?) About the situation

He visits your grave, a lot of the time, leaves little gifts there

He doesn't talk much, but he probably talks to you

Likely keeps something on him to remember you, like a locket or something

[professional-yearner]

Can't help falling in love with you (pt.3)

Yandere! Cheater! Clone officer x reader

Series TW!: cheating, mistresses, grief, murder, Evil-ish, being trapped, toxic relationships, forced relationship, obsessive love, obsession, general insanity, manipulation, disloyalty, crybaby Mc, sensitive and a bit whimpy Mc

Steel stared blankly at the wall as she kissed his shoulder.

"I am kind of going to miss the danger of going around with a married man." Arah joked.

He usually would've given her a chuckle at least, but he only felt sick.

"Hey, you okay?" She frowned, leaning over to look into his face. He felt her hand brush over his cheek, which had grown a rough layer of stubble in the past few days.

He really was about to be sick.

Steel pushed himself up clumsily, startling the Pantoran as he rushed to the fresher in time to make it to the toilet. He shook violently as he heaved his lunch into the bowl, head swimming and thoughts going a mile a minute. He only raised his head when he felt a cool hand running along his back, rubbing in soothing circles.

She was frowning down at him, concern evident in her lovely features,

"Poor thing, it's been a rough week for you, hasn't it?" She cooed.

He said nothing, but leaned away from her palm as she brought a rag down to wipe the bile from the sides of his mouth.

-

Steel let out a groan once he had shut the front door to Arah's apartment behind him. He wasn't really thinking, coming over here after what happened. He just didn't know what else to do.

Arah had been a source of comfort for him these past few months, made him feel good about himself and renewed his ego, but now it all just felt...flat.

Everything felt flat without you.

Without the promise of you being at the apartment when he returned from duty, without the lovely little smile you would give him when he walked through the door. Your laugh, your body, the way your eyes sparkled in the sunlight, the most beautiful and kind soul he had ever experienced.

He sniffed, tears welling in his eyes.

What had he done?

-

Steel was exhausted as he hefted his pack over his shoulder, eyes tired as he amended the catwalk onto the venator.

A group of his brothers stood talking at the edge of the hall, laughing at something one of them had said. As Steel approached, the group went silent, glaring unabashedly.

He winced at the looks of disdain and disgust his vode regarded him with as he passed.

It might hurt more if Steel wasn't already so disgusted with himself.

He knew the looks were warranted tenfold, cheating on one's cyare was one of the worst offenses a clone could commit in the eyes of the community, and Steel agreed.

Cheating was one of the most cowardly and cruel choices Steel had ever made, he knew.

He hated himself for it, but knew that wasn't good enough. Wallowing would do nothing for his girl, he needed to-

"Steel."

He looked up from his brewing, coming face to face with one of his squad, Wake.

"Vod-"

"Don't. Just," His brother sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose as always he did when he felt a headache oncoming, "Shut up, for once."

Steel only nodded, waiting for whatever the other clone had to say.

"You've really done it now, Steel. Kriff, I knew you were having problems, but I never would have even considered- I didn't want to believe the rumors, but-"

Even his brother looked hurt when he uttered, "On her?"

"She was so bright, loving- Steel,"

"I know!" He snapped, "You don't think I know that?! She's the best thing to ever happen to me! I love-"

"What are you willing to do to get her back?"

Steel's ears and neck felt hot, burning behind his eyes like he had never felt before, his hands shook as he uttered, "Anything."

Wake passed him, shoulder-checking him for good measure, "Then you had better fix this."

-

Steel groaned into the emptiness of the office, slumping down into one of the swivel chairs and dropping his tray onto the desk in front of him with a clatter.

It had already been a long day and it wasnt even half over.

Dirty looks and coldly livid treatment from his brothers, even warranted, wore on the officer.

Besides his baby, the only support or community he was used to was from them, now he had neither.

He shook away that thought; no good moping about something he got himself into.

His attention was diverted anyways by the sound of the door opening with a clean whoosh and the sound of boots against durasteel.

Wake.

The clean-cut officer entered, shutting the door behind him and regarding his brother briefly.

He tossed the silver-haired clone something hefty in a paper bag before he dould utter a greeting.

"What-"

"Comms." Wake said simply, opening his lunch at the seat beside him.

"I already-"

His brother cut him off through a bite of sandwich, "Just turn it to channel three."

Steel did as he was told, eyes widening as he head your voice crackling to life over the speaker.

He wanted to sit there, close his eyes and just listen to whatever it was you had to say, imagine that the two of you were having one of your old lengthy conversations, but the blue-eyed clone snatched it away from him, switching it off.

Steel stood at that, trying to control himself and not jump at his brother for interrupting the first time he had gotten to hear you in days, but Wake wasn't impressed.

"You can't have it on for more than a few minutes, it's not hard to tell when commas are tapped when you're constantly being listened in on." He explained, waiting for his more volatile brother to sit back down and listen.

After taking a second to compose himself, he did, huffing nonetheless.

Your melodic voice rang in his ears, soothing and already lifting his mood.

You had a talent for doing that, even when you didn't mean to.

"-Steel. Steel!"

He opened his eyes, looking over at Wake, who was trying to get his attention, "Huh?"

His brother rolled his eyes, but snorted out a laugh.

"At least we know her voice still has that same effect on you."

Steel smiled as well, he knew it reminded of how he felt about his own cyare; a tall, pretty twi'lek woman with striking yellow skin and a gap toothed smile that made his brother visibly melt at the sight of.

Their girls had been friends, one of the only people Steel was okay with her being friends with, even if he was still a bit on edge when they had conversations alone.

"Anyways, these should help you keep a track on how she's doing, who she's with,"

Wake looked at him head on, "And hopefully help you from doing anything stupid that would scare her off even more."

He nodded quickly, giddy as his brother went back to his food. Too excited and hopeful to eat his own.

He grinned to himself, smiling for the first time in a week.

He was coming, sweetheart, and when he did, he would fix all of this. Attone for what he had done. Show you just how sorry he was. Put you right back where you were supposed to be; by his side.

And when he did, he would never let you go again.

[t4transsexual]

have you ever dated cis women? when did you decide to be t4t?

i have dated a couple of cis women, one for a little while and we didnt get on because she was one of those fems who doesnt want their butch/masc/transmasc partner to have feelings and needs and also didnt want me to say no to sex and we didnt last long because i was deeply unhappy with her

as for when i decided to be t4t, i guess its probably about time i open up about the specific instance(s) that lead to me deciding to be exclusively t4t, because i havent actually talked about what pushed me to make the shift into exclusively dating trans people. i was trying to run a more positive page and frankly i wasnt really ready to talk about this so publicly, especially with the terf/transphobe interaction i get almost all the time on this account, but i figure i can now and ill probably turn off replies if i can figure out how

tw for graphic description of sexual assault and transphobia under the cut

when i started medically transitioning, i decided to try dating guys again. keep in mind i had a lot of comphet before deciding i was t4t; i basically only really beat that around 2022 when i turned 20. and i matched with a cis guy on tinder, who looked like he had a lot of personality judging by his photos i was 18, almost 19 at the time

literally the first thing this man says to me, after i tell him im trans, is "oh, cool, i love femboys." red flag #1. i said, "im not a femboy, i present masculinely, dont call me that." he apologized, and we moved on

at some point, we're talking about sex. he says hes very subby and a size queen. all fine, i told him i was a stone top/dom, i didnt really like experiencing penetration and it was painful for me due to a condition i had at the time. he says thats fine, everythings good. this will be important later

later, he tells me he told his parents i was trans. i asked him why, given that he both didnt ask me first and said his parents were transphobic. he says "my mom asked, was i just supposed to lie?" i say, yes. he apologizes, i /really/ want to call the whole thing off at this point but he seemed nice enough that maybe he just didnt know trans dating as well as i did

the entire relationship, he just says transphobic shit. he told me that he "understood why people didnt want to date trans people, because its a lot of baggage." he was an active alcoholic by the way. and also dating a trans person. he would neg me for being trans and then turn around and say that i was such a hot guy. he even misgendered me one time, and got upset at me for getting pissed about it, and made me believe i was overreacting. he made me believe that he was doing me a favor by ever dating me

at some point, we're at my parents house, and he tells me he wants to fuck me with his penis. i tell him no, that i dont want to, that i dont know about it, that im scared, pretty much anything i can say to get him to reconsider, but he argued and said itd be good for me and that i can choose which hole but it became very clear to me that i had no choice. so i said he could fuck my pussy

it was excruciating. it hurt so bad, but i knew i couldnt say no. he couldnt stay hard unless he was degrading me and i didnt want him to, so he kept making me jerk him off so he could keep raping me

eventually he stopped, and i wasnt even really aware i had been raped at first. ive been sexually abused by several people in my life and generally it has taken me a while to accept when ive been sexually abused by a person. so we kept dating like normal, long distance btw, but my mental health was deteriorating. i was suicidal for the first time in a while. i was self harming again. i couldnt stop thinking about killing myself.

eventually, he breaks up with me for being suicidal. he says im guilt tripping him or something, i dont remember. and that was december of 2021

we go no contact. i still dont realize he raped me. but i knew that there was something deeply wrong in the way our relationship was

right after him, i dated a trans woman who we went to the same high school. just the difference in how i was treated by her than by him, with her she treated me like i was an actual equal in the relationship. with him, he felt he was superior to me; like he "owned" me, or something

we broke up, we werent really compatible, but when i got with her, she taught me what being t4t was, and the implicit understanding and the comfort and safety i felt. after we broke up was when i decided i didnt like men, and still remained t4t after

i realized what he did to me was rape nearly a year later. he correctively raped me for being a stone top, more specifically, and i dont think he wouldve been "empowered" to rape me if i was a cis man, or even a cis woman. i understand that the "off" feeling i felt throughout that relationship was because he, as a cis person, felt superior over me as a trans person, and felt that if he wanted to fuck me, i shouldnt get a say. he talked about doing other actions to me that i didnt want done at the time, certainly not by him, and if we werent long distance, he probably wouldve raped me several more times

being with my current girlfriend, we click in a way that i havent felt with any cis person, the women included. she definitely isnt going to rape me for being trans. ive undergone physical therapy so that if i ever got raped again, it wouldnt hurt as bad, and it worked and ive actually enjoyed bottoming (consensually) with my girlfriend. she makes me feel very safe, and we understand each other and each others needs as trans people very well, and being with her has helped me process the time i was raped, and the several other times ive been sexually abused by other people

now that ive had time to process these things, i would say that i dont feel the same way around trans people (including me) dating cis people anymore. when i first started this account, i wouldve never admitted this then btw, i fully did not think trans people should date cis people, because i had fostered such a deep distrust of cis people as a result of that whole relationship and assault. i believed cis people would always be bad partners to trans people, but i dont believe that anymore. in the very unlikely circumstance i find myself single again, i may even consider dating a cis woman again. but probably not, because ive grown to really like the implicit understanding that we as trans people get with other trans people

thats why im t4t, and when i became t4t was around the beginning of 2022

[dandyshucks]

realizing i wanted to ask - how did u first fall in love w/ guzma (irl) ? :o (@dmclr)

ougghh (/happy) Clara you always ask such good questions omg 🫶

umm... okay so. i should give a general "abuse CW" label i guess fjfkdl but I'll keep it vague and to a minimum of mention! also putting it below the cut because I RAMBLED SO MUCH, SORRY IN ADVANCE

tumblr kind of went crazy for the guy when the anime finally introduced him in 2019 (it took SO long to get to him, over 100 episodes in the su/mo arc 😭) and at first i didnt think much of him rly, but then somehow eventually (a few months later) i found out through osmosis that he's got trauma going on and my ears kind of perked up a bit LOL

(underwater just to set it apart from the rest of the post so it doesnt blend in and get confusing fndkdl) screenshot of the post i rbed where i first mentioned liking him fdsjkl

around the same time, i was having some realizations about my own experiences with childhood and family etc, and there was some other stuff going on in my life (also. the plague started so uh. that too.) that was just kind of culminating in like. A Lot of stress and fear and stuff. so seeing this character who has experienced somewhat similar things was ... comforting in a way? shared experience or something, idk. plus I've always been a sucker for misfit archetype characters, especially if they make a little family out of other misfits :')

another big part of the intrigue (because my crushes always start with a sort of 👀 phase fdsjkl, I have to think somebody is interesting in some way and want to find out More about them, and then feelings develop from there) for me was just the fact that he was Angry. like... the way I've personally learned to deal w abuse has been to always be meek and fawn. so seeing someone who went in the opposite direction, to become angry and strong and defiant instead, was SO fascinating to me and I was very curious to learn more about him.

so I looked into him more, loved what i found, related to him a bit, accidentally by some random occurrence stumbled upon some bf audios of him somehow??, wished he were real so we could hang out, thought about how I'd act around him and started to feel a little flustered about it ... it's all downhill from there once u reach that point smh 😔😔 (/silly)

for a long time i didn't really fully step into s.elfship territory w him - i dabbled a little but he wasnt The Focus™ in my brain yet. also we (as a system) have had a host change since then, so there was a previous juno that was not Me (even though we kept the same main name between us two parts), and they didn't like the guy as much as Current Me does djfkdl - theres also some ... relatively significant personality differences between the two versions of Juno, so I think Juno2.0 (me) meshes with him a lot better now than Juno1.0 did in 2020/2021

and then last year, i found and joined the s.elfship community and um. I absolutely did not mean for him to become The Main Guy and never would've guessed he would be, but... well,, we dont always plan things i suppose, feelings just happen 😭

anyways. it maybe seems kind of messed up but his ~tragic backstory~ is what drew me in initially bc it helped me feel less alone and scared when i was Going Through some pretty major shit lol. and then after that, i just kind of took the character base that pkmn had in place and ran with it to build on it and sort of make my own version of him that I could be friends with and eventually fell in love with ^^;;

TL;DR it was a mix of timing, similar history of abuse, intrigue bc of our opposite reactions to the abuse, and um... the way he is like,, strong and builds a safe place for other young ppl who feel unsafe or not accepted in general society fdsjkl

i get embarrassed talking abt it bc ppl seem to really hate it when abuse victims are weak in any way and need help, but ... i do really like that he is strong in some ways and would be able to give me a sort of safe place to let my guard down and receive help and care (as shown by the way he provides a safe place for the grunts, all the misfits and outcasts of Alola) ^^;;;; honestly kind of a Big part of it for me (and for pretty much all my s.elfship dynamics) is that he is able to protect me and care for me, because I have not like. experienced that ever. at least not properly. when your parents are the ones being abusive, you not only do not experience protection and care but you're also being actively hurt in some way by the people who are supposed to keep you safe. so to be freely given care and safety is kind of crazyyyy to me LOL, that is something i like a lot about him :')

OKAY RAMBLE OVER. i really tried to keep this as short as i could but,, brevity is not a strength of mine (esp when it comes to him) LOL. THANK YOU for the question !!! its fun to look back at how it all happened tbh :]

[ultra-raging-ghost]

Okay so like.... im trying to visualize bbh's library indexing concept in my mind in relation to the desert so stick with me here

rambles under the cut

Okay so in my mind, im viewing his memories (in relation to the desert) as the buildings that he passes by in the beginning sequences

the temple he's been at is definitely supposed to symbolize the eggs (im going based off the bed in dappers room being present in this temple, along with other things it just seems obvious) , they're his tether to his memories as we see played out right in front of us but why is that?

Well im imagining the desert as an area that is able to be mapped out, an area that is supposed to be mapped out. And maybe the mind cubito navigates the desert with said map.

We've established that the poisoned water he drank in the first sequence is from that one myth about how drinking the water in the afterlife is supposed to wipe someones memories after death. I'm envisioning this as the water washing away the map's ink. Maybe not literally, but its wiped away bad's map around his mind, and he's gonna have to re-map everything all over again.

As an immortal i think hes implied that hes done that before, but maybe it wasnt as difficult as it was this time because this time he's actively resisting the reset, and what comes with that is the persisting damage from his body being inflicted on him.

So on top of a mental reset, he's very likely got brain damage and definitely has radiation damage, which would also contribute to the brain damage. He is struggling to remap his memories that hes so desperately clung to.

He's found one thing (the temple(the eggs)) that ground him, and hes clinging hard to that. He's refusing to leave the temple, and i kinda have a theory as to why that is.

I am a person who knows where things are in relation to other things, and i think right now thats what bad's dealing with. In his mind desert, there are vast empty swaths of land between memories, and he knows where things are in relation to this temple, but he doesnt know where they are in general.

Do you??? Understand what im getting at here????

Maybe he doesnt know that hes supposed to be mapping, hes confused as to why he doesnt know where anything is. He doesnt know theres supposed to be a fucking map, whats a map? HE DOESNT KNOW!!!! HE HAS BRAIN DAMAGE!!!

and hes too fucking afraid to leave the eggs to figure the shit out, hes too afraid to leave the temple so hes experiencing using the eggs as like this crutch, the eggs are with him constantly so its not an unreasonable crutch to have but like!!!!! we've seen!!! when the eggs arent with him!!!! hes just GONE!!!!!

HES GOTTEN WORSE!!!!! the eggs being back have somehow made him WORSE hes no longer having lapses of memory when theyre not around, he consistently and continuously remembers FUCK ALL when an egg leaves his sight. We saw it today the MOMENT pomme and dapper left his sight he was just GONE there wasnt a buffer there wasnt a moment where he remembered anything, he was just head motherfucking empty

and hes honestly kinda worse than that!!!! Hes still not remembering absolutely everything around the eggs, so theyre not even helping as much as they should be!!

my head hurts i mightve lost the plot halfway thru this was such a shitty rant, but its 3 am and im gonna probably make 3 more posts in this vein tomorrow

[dear-ao3]

Heyy totally weird question and having never experienced a long term relationship before this is really coming just from a place of curiosity, I'm deeply sorry if I'm stepping over a line. Did your ex boyfriend change as a person as time went by, because I remember loving your posts about him, and everything seemed wonderful and adorable about your dynamic, thinking that even if these complete strangers to me break up one day it will be full of mutual respect and understanding. Can a person really change up like that? Like were there ever any signs that he is a douchebag capable of breaking things of over a text and anything else that he's done or was he never actually like that and a "change" happend over night?

I am not at all probing into your life, please don't think that, nor am I asking for some kind of explanation no, just curious about someone turn up to be a complete douchebag at the end

i mean yea there were signs, generally when youre dating someone in the beginning things seem fine and dandy and then it all falls apart later. most of the problems stemmed from the fact that he broke a lot of bad habits and then gained them back. we were also pretty young and in that weird limbo stage of life where youre figuring out what the fuck you want to do and when youre in that area of life (college) things can change very quickly and you can very quickly realize that you are not as perfect for someone as you once thought.

actually though we were decently mature towards the end of it and knew it was falling apart and were like okay when the time comes we will be respectful and this will be mutual and likely we will remain friends (cause we did get along pretty well, there were just a lot of logistics that were not working) and then he decided to dump me over text (which he didnt really realize he was doing? he thought it was a break he was proposing but he worded it so badly that i was like um no this is a breakup. goodbye. then he tried to be like oh no no no we are still good for eachother! so even though he definitely started it i finished it) and all respect was lost

tho despite all that crap i dont regret it, there was a lot of fun, learned a lot about myself and most importantly learned what it does feel like to be in love. its not my fault it didnt work out, there was a lot of stuff that i was aware of at the beginning that would make it challenging and i knew it wasnt going to last forever, but while it was good it was definitely good.

[personalizationai]

It appears rookie is going through the horrors...

Can you tell us more about them ? (Both rookie and the horrors!!)

oh man theres a lot. this is going to be long.

rodrigo “rookie” carvajal has been working with cleanup crew for a good few months now. he started his job at 16, is now 17 (his birthday was february 25th)

basic info on why hes here: rookie got a fake ID from a friends friend to be able to apply for the position of a scavenger. In our little ocverse we imagine the company has a minimum age requirement of around 20. the reason why he would do this at all is because he had become dedicated to the idea of “honoring” his (presumed) dead father lee. he believed that he had no other options left forwards, and that he should have been brave like his dad was.

anyways, ill try and condense the insanity that has been his time at cleanup crew the best i can…

- In his first few days/weeks, rookie was a pretty positive and spunky guy. He was very willing to follow around Dopey, as he’s the defacto leader of the group. Things were… Ok, but that all was shattered by one experience: inspector has a hand in this . Before he appeared physically and revived, he was communicating to dopey. a voice in their head tormenting the scavenger, promising things like a promotion and in general a way out of the cycle. Dopey had killed rookie with a stop sign, profusely apologizing and crying. When questioned about what happened, Dopey lied. Said it was a monster outside.

- After this, rookie became much more closed off from other people, mainly only sticking around lieutenant. all the fear and whatnot built up inside of rookie and he snapped and killed dopey back with a shovel for… revenge. he didnt enjoy it. he tried to explain what had happened, but nobody believed him, and dopey had made it out as if he was just unstable. dopey considered them even now, but an experience like that haunted him for a good long while. hes still scared of stop signs to this day. (not to mention that he was beginning to realize then that he IS dying. and he IS being brought back.)

- then, in comes inspector. from even the first few days of his arrival, he provided rookie support and comfort near constantly. dopey had a bad feeling every time he heard the man speak. rookie on the other hand, was like a moth to a flame. teen who lost his dad + scared and vunerable is insanely easy to manipulate. especially if youre presenting yourself now as someone older and more experienced who cares about you and listens to you ect ect ect.

- inspector would intentionally attempt to hide information from him, such as the sigurd logs note. (he noticed the note was being hidden from him). inspector also would occasionally kind of… try to sew distrust inside of rookie towards the other crew members, and especially fostering the distrust towards dopey further.

- eventually rookie does find the logs and reads them with dopey. they both learn a lot, and while rookie didnt trust dopey a lot then, this among other miscellaneous interactions made his thoughts and feelings towards dopey more complicated. he began to feel guilty for going against inspectors wishes of not “looking in too deeply”. because of this guilt, he confesses to inspector about what they had done. “rookie, what did dopey tell you?”. he promised rookie he wasnt mad, but inside he was SEETHING. its at that point that inspector realized how much of a problem dopey will be.

- dopey began to then realize via observation that rookie is being deeply deeply manipulated by inspector. this started a whole thing where dopey would try to forge more trust from rookie and attempt to get him to realize that hes being taken advantage of. later on, eventually rookie breaks down a bit to inspector alone on the company building (lower level). he admits how scared he is of everything. but most importantly: that he shouldnt be here. that hes only 16. he thought he could handle this all, but its starting to break him. they hug, and rookie hugged tighter than ever. inspector stood there. (dopey was secretly listening.)

- ANYWAYS fast forwarding. end of act 1 was essentially inspector enacting his plan of killing everyone on the crew to try and create so much violence and disorder to attempt and break the cycle through destroying the unity of its events and repetition. this doesnt work. brain managed to kill inspector. inspector is gone for a while.

- rookie attempted to try and be eaten by jeb to escape the cycle. overwhelmed, he only saw his way out of here through death. despite knowing he cant die, thought that maybe just MAYBE this way would work. it didnt, of course. but its more complicated than that.

- floating in the inbetween of life and death, a not very lucid post death rookie was offered a deal by thousands of voices from behind the wall: “do you want to forget?” he accepted.

gonna speed run act 2: FAUX IS HERE! ROOKIE IS STRUGGLING TO COPE WITH THE IDEA THAT INSPECTOR DIDNT CARE FOR HIM AT ALL. act 2 was a little fucking everywhere for many characters doing a lot of things, but whats important for rookie is this:

- rookie then could not remember a single thing that happened to him on cleanup crew. a partial mind wipe. but, anything that had reminded him of it would hurt. both mental and physical. eventually when dopey tried talking to him about everything that had happened, he was quite literally killed suddenly, vanishing. the nature of the deal that was made was that he wasnt supposed to recover these memories, and now that he had, he was killed for it. he comes back but… very jaded. there simply is no way out. none at all. he finds everything simply pointless, its quite the soul crushing feeling

- faux at some point comes onto the scene… rookie and faux were on and off interacting with each other, but eventually he ends up breaking down to faux and mentioning how “do you ever want to talk to somebody again, even if you know it would be bad for you?” this leads into faux revealing to rookie his real identity. rookie, both terrified and curious is a bit in a deer in headlights situation. he ends up asking a few things, such as what happened (he only saw the aftermath of all the death.) and if he really cared about him at all. inspector lies to him both times. he makes rookie promise to not tell anybody, and he doesnt.. but but some people manage to overhear… (dopey again for this, though brain and four were also contributers to OTHER OTHER shit about unamsking faux)

- eventually it all climaxs with a plan made by dopey and specs. dopey had presented this plan vaguely to rookie before faux revealed himself. “if i ask you to take a shot, i need to know if youll do it.” rookie says he cant promise that he will, but he’ll try.

- inspector/faux, now realizing that his cover is going to be blown, now rushes to try and get the gun that dopey and specs obtained first. he got it, but dopey managed to knock it out of his hands with a shovel. holding inspector back, dopey screams for him to take the shot. rookie screams back, babbling about how this wont do anything for anyone. about how they wont even die. about how theyll be right back here tomorrow.

-“for once in your life, trust me rookie!”

- he shoots. both inspector and dopey die at the same time to the same bullet. (this malfunctioned the respawn tech, and those two are now stuck in a sort of purgatory for a good long while. but not dead. they wont be dead just yet.) rookie collapses, defeated.

LOL SEASON 3 crick and deacon are here now!

- he waits for them to come back. he knows they will, but the longer theyre gone the more and more he doubts this belief.

- he becomes closer to four, they finally work through the whole lee connection… he confesses to four that he wishes that he was nicer, that he wasnt stupid. “why do i only think of this shit when its too late?”

- he leans into the people he loves and trusts, liuetenant and four being the main people.

- rookie is much more irratable now. hes trying to thrust himself into a leaderly/strong position in dopeys stead, but unfortunately hes not the best at it. he has almost no patience left for anything, and his only option left right now is to try and be stronger. to be more like dopey, like he told four he wished he was. dopey managed to handle so much, managed to be there for so many people. he wants to be that.

- MOST CURRENT SHIT THOUGH uhhhhh rookies best friend lieutenant told him that hes a robot and then a few moons later got fucking struck by lightning so hard it factory reset the guy into not having and memory in the system of who anyone is. or their friendship. this is upsetting to rookie because lieutenant was planning to tell the others themselves. rookie is deeply upset that this choice of his is now stripped away. nobody here has a lot of choices they can make for themselves, and thats just one less.

- also rookie snapped at crick when they started talking about themselves only having one week left. told crick that theyre trapped here basically. crick didnt believe. “maybe you just didnt try hard enough or looked hard enough to get in contact?” (to leave the job). rookie goes “ITS BEEN MY ONE WEEK FOR MONTHS!” once he calms down from searing hot he mumbles about how crick is “going to have to learn some day”. this mirrors what inspector had said when he first killed EVERYONE. “YOURE ALL GONNA FUCKING LEARN!” this is… intentional

[the-rxven-king]

1,4,8,11,23,24 for your Rook? 👀

w au gh absolutely!!! and for funsies heres a screenshot of him! his name is nekros ingellvar!

also gonna put most of my answers under a read more so i dont fill up peoples dash! im a yapper lmao

1. How old is Rook?

i think hes physically in his late 20s or early 30s! im not super set on a specific age for him just yet, especially since backstory wise hes a resurrected undead so he might be older than that in all actuality

4. Which faction did they join, and why? How long has it been?

hes a mourn watcher! he's been there as long as he can remember (which is only a few years. the whole being dead and coming back to life thing has resulted in him having amnesia, and he doesn't remember his life before). he joined the mourn watchers because he was actually raised by emmrich and the mourn watch and the necropolis was kinda all he knew! and by raised i mean. literally raised from the dead. and he relearned all his speech and mannerisms from him so he stands similarly to him, gestures similarly, and has a similar speech pattern, although sometimes hes a bit more disconnected and distant than emmrich is. hes still relearning emotions a tad.

plus, he does feel that not only do the dead deserve proper respect and souls to be cared for properly, and he also thinks the living should enjoy the time they are given and to not allow any undead to take that from them too soon. life and death can be harmonious and should be where they can be, but protecting the living from meeting death too soon is of utmost importance. he knows what death can take from people, hes experienced it first hand in that he doesnt even know who he was before the mourn watch and the necropolis, so its important to uphold that peace and balance best as possible.

8. What makes Rook a good leader?

its kinda interesting cause like..... nekros really Doesnt feel like the leader type to me. like he feels as much as i feel you were chucked into this position way too quickly with no explanation and just kinda had to fuckin do it because no one would look anywhere else. but i think him being a bit disconnected from his emotions is actually a boon in that case? cause otherwise, hed be anxious and not taken the role. he was anxious about it, it wasnt something he ever expected to do nor wanted to do, but sometimes youre the only one who acts because you have absolutely 0 self preservation and no sense of true risk but also the mind to keep things logical rather than following his heart too closely. emmrich wishes he would allow himself to connect a bit more to those things because he really shines when he does, but nekros just isnt used to it yet, it frightens him a little. he keeps an even head, knows how to be perfectly polite when it comes to people of some authority, and that is all he needs for now other than other people always looking at him and forcing him to keep taking this position than anything else. truly truly truly my mans is like the guy who was put on a group project and was not named team leader and was so happy about it and was content to listen and follow like he always has but then no one was doing anything and he didnt want to get a bad grade and Had to step up in order for something to be done, thats really how it is

23. What does Rook wear in the off hours? Do they like dressing up?

ooooh i have some screenshots of his current downtime fit actually!

i think it suits him! but generally, his taste is things a bit more rugged and worn through, things that feel like they have history. though, of course, he does take after emmrich a lil bit in that he prefers to look put together sometimes as well. things that are sleek and well fitting, but i just havent found a fit in game thats both the proper colors i want him to wear AND has that look yet aside from this! its a lil more oversized on the arms, but it has a certain put together-ness i know he would enjoy. and the feathers! a lil nod to deaths harbingers, the ravens.

colorwise, he likes blacks, browns, and jewel tones! preferably purples or greens, tho not whatever fuckin tone of purple and green the mourn watchers got going on in their downtime fits theres smth wrong with those to me idk why

24. Does Rook have any nightly rituals before bed?

god this is one i havent really thought about..... he truly just feels the type to just flop over? into bed? like hes like my day is done time to rest and he just gets in bed, lies like a corpse, and conks tf out. though over time, if hes having an ok day, i do think hes a bit more methodical about things. little more careful with how he treats himself, making sure hes got clothes and everything ready for the morning based on his plans, lets himself read a few pages in a book he picked out, just little things. but nothing he must do every single night or it feels off. he might treat himself a bit more and have those sorts of nice self care things once hes reunited with emmrich (which just happened in my game, im a bit behind in playing it) and once hes with lucanis

[steelycunt]

ten books 2 know me!

thank for you the tag @pancakehouse @fruity-individual @serethereal @rollercoasterwords !

-> skulduggery pleasant, derek landy.

starting with this one because this WAS my childhood i was. i never read percy jackson never read twilight read [redacted] and it wasnt even good but my dad thought id like these so he bought me the first skulduggery pleasant one day...oh man oh boy...these were. i was eight queuing up outside a whsmith with a schoolbag full of books for the author's booksigning...also he was so nice ta derek x

-> giovanni's room, james baldwin.

cannot get into this too much before i start wailing and biting and stuff but well. giovanni's room is my favourite book of all time i read most of it. last year in june laying on brighton beach while the sun was going down and i have never recovered from and will you bring me home again / yes. i'll bring you home again since and fear i never will. also! first james baldwin book i read who has come to be an author whose writing style i adore and carry in my mind whenever i try to write something myself.

-> young mungo, douglas stuart.

not the first book i ever cried at but. first book i ever experienced disgusting full body sobs while reading and fierce competitor also for. my favourite book. had to reread so much of those final pages because i couldnt concentrate with all the crying and after that i am so excited to never have to experience the physical chest-aching worry that i did for the duration of reading this. also i think the very quiet way love is written here through. very trivial small things is something i loved very much and that has stayed with me!

-> wuthering heights, emily bronte.

read this when i was about eleven, and then again a few weeks ago with my mum (whose favourite book it is) and it was still so. absolutely sickening i just think its excellent xx and without it we wouldn't have kate bush's 1978 single wuthering heights so xx think on that xx

-> the autobiography of malcom x, alex haley.

when i was a child my younger sister joined a sunday league football team and my dad used to give her a tenner every time she scored a goal. to even things out since i refused to get up at the arsecrack of dawn to contract hypothermia on a frozen football pitch, he started giving me books exclusively on malcolm x to read and would give me a tenner every time i finished one. this one was the first i read and was indeed the first book that ever made me cry at the end xx

-> my brilliant friend, elena ferrante.

so many of these are recent reads because it was only jan 2022 that i made a genuine effort to get back into reading for leisure and mbf is no different but well. the way friendship is written here is just unhinged and incredible and the series in general so far has been. there is nothing like it i fear

-> the raven boys, maggie steifvater.

gansey unfortunately.

-> macbeth, william shakespeare.

okay i know i know but. when you are studying it in englit class for your gcse it might as well be a book innit. anyway of all the texts i did for english both at gcse + a level macbeth is still my favourite and probably the most effort i ever put into an english essay. special shoutout to frankenstein which i can enjoy in hindsight but unfortunately it fucked me on the exam so out of bitterness it doesnt get a place here x

-> the secret history, donna tartt.

i did inhale this book but also it gets a place purely for being my first exposure to donna tartt's writing and style in general which is so very distinctive and has. undoubtedly had an effect on me for better or for worse we shall one day see but for now. who can say!

-> foster, claire keegan.

it is a little pamphlet of a book at eighty six pages but. i read it just over a month ago and havent properly stopped thinking about it since it was just everything quiet + mundane + understated that makes my brain start sparking and whirring and. im bringing it on holiday in the summer so i can read it again in the appropriate season xx

tagging. but no pressure. @gaewaren @dykefever @emerqldv @fastasyoucan1999 @forlorngarden @writteninverses @boyjoan !!