#and he needs a boatload of therapy

[allthefakepeople]

something something

the scene between august and wille at the white party is the first time august has apologized without alterior motives. in the past he's either done it because he was worried that wille would get back at him or because he wanted to feel better about himself. this was the first time he said the words and meant them as an actual apology something something

[aquaquadrant]

Aqua I'd like to politely let you know I'm shambles :'3 timmy with his hair cut and wings clip broke my heart. I need Jimmy to take care of him and help him with his wings. I need grian to be absolutely pissed about the clipped wings and gain a second brother. I need skizz, with his only half a wing, a beacon of understanding, to give him the bestest skizz hug of them all. I need all the winged life series members and hermits to be there to teach him to fly after a boatload of wing physical therapy and tasty snacks and sunshine.

EVERY DAY i mourn that skizz wasn’t in double life, he would’ve been the BEST ⚰️⚰️⚰️ but dw, there will be absolutely no shortage of lifers wanting to help take care of timmy for the time being.

[lover-of-mine]

I keep thinking about the Tommy leaving post and the Buddie being ready for each other post and I feel like there's a comparison I want to make here but I'm not sure exactly what it is but something about Tommy leaving because he was not down with that whole mess of date, understandably, but also Buck's boatload of issues still even tho Tommy came back & they're in this "maybe this could be the something I'm ready for" & potential issues that might crop up going forward like will Buck be hesitant still or dive headfirst or some combination, will Tommy feel like it's too much or just not working, will it be the thing that finally makes something click in Buck's head that he needs to go to therapy bc hey Tommy is different from his exes but the issues are still the same idk or he decides it's not working bc it's not the thing he wants but he's ready to figure that out so again therapy! but also when he realizes he's in love with Eddie & they could be it for each other he knows he doesn't want to make those same mistakes and the way to do that is to be honest with himself and Eddie and it's not perfect but they're both in it and self enough aware they know they can make it work together (therapy would be so good but also Maddie or Bobby have some wisdom here too) like a desperation almost of I love him and I want him and this is it for me but I'm so scared of losing it all and it's like well. What are you gonna do about it? Are you gonna let yourself have this? I read a fic today where when they were discussing starting something but Buck was scared Eddie was like "we deserve to be happy too and being with you makes me happy" and that's all I want now okay sorry this is so long and probably makes no sense but I didn't know who to send it to I can stop rolling it all in my head over and over again send help or a sedative my god they make me feral and all these new ttpd edits are making it 10000x more

Okay, I see what you mean, and I am team Buck/Therapy first and foremost, but let's discuss Tommy outside the perfect queer Yoda people seem to have put him in. First of all, Tommy didn't come back, the energy that exists there is that there would be no second date if Buck didn't ask him for coffee (and Buck only called because Eddie told him to). I don't blame Tommy for walking away, the situation Buck put him in is shitty, but he did not come back, he indulged Buck in a coffee for whatever reason I don't understand. I don't understand why someone would agree to go to someone's sister's wedding after one kiss and half a date they walked out of. But what I'm getting from Tommy is that he's not gonna put up with Buck's bullshit just because he's cute. And Buck is diving in head first, asking someone to be your date to your sister's wedding after half a date where they left you on the curb when he's out to exactly 2 people is somehow crazier than buying furniture with Natalia, because at least there he had what? 3 successful dates under his belt? Buck is in the hamster wheel, this time with a guy. Dating a guy is bringing him clarity in some aspects of his life, but he is still showing the same patterns when it comes to dating. Will he break out of his pattern this time? Who the fuck knows. Realizing he's repeating these patterns and letting go before he gets in too deep, realizing he needs to work on himself, would be a major sign of growth from him, but Tommy pointing something out and making him take action works too, but I don't know what or how that could be approached. I was talking about this with someone last week, I'm pretty sure i sent them a voice note of like, 12 minutes on this, but do we trust Buck to separate the way he's infatuated from what he actually needs? That his bisexuality is his no matter what? Because I don't. If he's still that insecure about Eddie when Eddie has been stable in his life the whole time they've known each other, then I don't trust him with anything emotional, really. Could he wake up one day and realize maybe it was about Eddie, see what's in front of him and proceed to work through his insecurities? Sure, they could go there, especially with how intertwined Eddie is to bucktommy, make Buck realize his feelings, work through his insecurities somehow and realize he needs to talk to Eddie and that they will be okay no matter what. But the thing is, Eddie loves Buck too much. Like the post said, he loves Buck at his own detriment, so if Buck goes all weird on him for whatever reason again (which he probably would if he realizes he might be in love with Eddie, he would panic, 705 Buck would freak out if realized he's in love with Eddie) he's gonna internalize that, and that's something they need to address before there is any movement into making them romantic.

Because now that there's a real chance buddie is gonna go canon, they need to address some problems that were created between them, mainly the way they assume things about each other a lot instead of having an open conversation. All they need is an open conversation, I will accept if the show magically decides they can talk to each other now, that the issue was the denial, but Buck needs to ask for shit, he needs to talk when he's insecure, he needs to not let Eddie get away with assuming he's right, and Eddie needs to stop assuming he can read Buck's mind, he needs to call Buck out when he's getting in his head, and he needs to stop trying to fix past mistakes with someone else, they need to actually be able to address things that hurt them, because they will hurt each other, the question is how they work through the problems. Dating your best friend, even more after being best friends for this long comes with issues, the adjustment would be intense because they have an intense relationship already. And they both need to let go of the idealized version of what a relationship should look like they have. Can Tommy help Buck there? Yeah, absolutely, but he also shouldn't be expected to hold a grown man's hand through his own feelings, yk? Buck doesn't know what he wants and he's working through it, allegedly, so, like, there's potential there but I have no idea how this can unfold tbh. They need to get to the point where they're like "I deserve happiness" but also realizing that happiness doesn't look the way they think it does, that it's never gonna be perfect, but that it is worth fighting for, you don't find it, you make, works here too, but the thing is, you need to keep making it as long as you're together, love is not all it takes, the fight never stops. I've been thinking about this a lot too.

[ragingstillness]

Rewatching Swing yet again and struck once more by what an absolute gem of an episode it is. I haven’t seen an episode that loves Elliot this much until I watched OC. I really think the writers for season four watched this episode too before writing that season.

It’s foreshadowed in little pieces over the course of the season and the previous one and there’s so many amazing performances in it. Chris Meloni and Ellen Burstyn are of course the stars but Allison Siko gets to shine this episode too.

The writing is amazing:

“I just needed you to know…that I tried to be a good mother”

“Maybe god remembered how cute you were as a carrot”

“I’m through the looking glass here, Liv”

“I can see why you scare the pants off of Kathy”

“It was kids stuff!�� “It was your passion! Where did it go?!”

“Like someone had reached inside of me and scooped out my soul”

“Remember how he laughed at you? Because that was only the millionth time he’d heard that from you”

“You pay a pretty steep price” “Maybe I do but it’s my life.”

“Grandma do you think I’m crazy?” “Do you feel crazy?”

“That’s the price we pay for greatness honey”

“If he hated you he’d just walk right out of your life”

“But I was chasing snowflakes”

“That’s because he’s erased his childhood”

“Bottling it up inside hasn’t worked for you. And neither has beating up perps, or walls, or garbage cans. Kathleen may be sick but you’re the one with the problem”

“They just wanted sex. And I gave it to them. A lot of them. Even ones I didn’t know. When I think about it, it makes me wanna die.”

“But you can always start fresh tomorrow” “How?” “By hugging the ones who love you even when you think they might not want it.”

“I’ve lived the life I wanted to live. And I’ve paid a terrible price.”

“Anything that doesn’t fit into your neat little boxes, you just can’t take it.”

“I heard that line for 27 years every time your father didn’t want to do something he suddenly had to pull a double”

“Couldn’t breathe around your son?” “You didn’t need me. Until now.” “You’re wrong, I always needed you in my life.”

“But it wasn’t your life it isn’t your life you’re living your father’s life all over again. If you could only find a way to be your own man.”

“I don’t have the luxury of staying in bed for a month when things don’t go my way”

“And when I cried you lifted up the revolver and you shot at us…I remember that crazed look on your face…I wondered why you hated us so much you wanted us dead.”

It’s like this beautifully orchestrated piece of media that delivers a boatload of exposition about Elliot’s past that at this point we hadn’t gotten any of. Not to mention the story does a really good job of striking the balance between clarifying that bipolar disorder is a serious thing that can be quite dangerous but also isn’t a moral failing.

I also really like the emphasis on mental illness as being of much greater risk to the individual with the illness than to others. Kathleen may have scared the couple whose house she broke into and stole some jewelry but she didn’t truly harm them, instead her disorder harmed her, leading to risky sex of questionable consent, a near drug overdose, legal trouble, conflict with parents and peers, all those events hurt her more than they hurt others and so often mental illness in media is portrayed as a force that turns a “regular” person into a “monster.”

They also take the time to clarify that medication is not the easy fix it may seem to be and that for some individuals it can be harmful or painful and that understanding and therapy is a boon to many.

But while Kathleen and Bernie were both hurt by their illness we also get to see the effects on others. This is handled in a way that both explains how the disorder affects people and also making it clear that actions taken were still choices.

Elliot’s personality begins to click into place a lot in this episode in ways that it previously felt rough and out of place. While he does punch a garbage can outside the hospital, before that he’s breathing heavy and not paying attention to his surroundings, clearly on the edge of a panic attack. He withdraws from talks on how to work with Kathleen because he literally can’t handle it and is having flashbacks to his life with his mother. For all that Elliot’s father was an abusive drunk, he has trauma from his mother too. The story about his mother shooting at him and his father in a manic state and how he internalized that as hate, the fact that his mother ignored his fears and broke his arm in a high speed car crash that could have been much worse, the way he avoids her whenever she comes into town, he’s clearly been messed up by these events. And you can see that in his actions in other episodes.

Elliot is incredibly sensitive to cases of child abuse and neglect and while a lot of that is put down to his being a father, it’s likely also because of the abuse and trauma he’s experienced himself along with his brothers (or older brother at least). He beats the shit out of that one cop who kept hitting his son to tell him to man up. And Elliot and that guy were friends!

When Kathy dies and Elliot ends up getting into a car accident with Eli in the car he sends him away to Maureen’s because he knows he literally isn’t safe for Eli to be around and he’s not going to risk turning into his mother.

He’a so gentle with child victims and gets along with them great, in early seasons he’s much more comfortable than Liv is and in the very first episode Liv is asking the questions while Elliot cares for one of the victims’ son. Elliot’s entire personality so clearly revolves around three things: his anger, his desire to not turn into either of his parents, and his duty. Liv, on the other hand, revolves around these things: her anger, her self-flagellation, and her purpose. From the very beginning Elliot and Liv connect on their anger, recognizing something similar in each other unconsciously and it’s why they’re such loose canons.

All three of Elliot’s core values are on display in this episode: his anger as a negative coping strategy, his action taken to save his daughter despite his own pain, and his reference to how he redirected all his creative energy into caring for his family. (It’s very interesting that he doesn’t mention his wife, just his kids, and fits into my personal hc that the love he feels for Kathy is more familial than romantic but that’s a whole different essay) The OC writers get this and write it into their seasons often. And I hope it continues.

Other gems from the episode include:

Liv and Kathy sitting next to each other in the courtroom without Elliot like the co-wives they so clearly are

Our first introduction to Bernie’s excellent wardrobe

That super cool undercover cop who was crazy attractive and is also the reason Elliot even found Kathleen when she overdosed

Kathy slapping Elliot

Some defense attorney snark

Kathleen’s beautiful shower singing voice

[haven-of-dusk]

Time for more theories about EJ...

So he only appears in two episodes of S4 and has...very different looks in each. At first one might just think of the 4x5 appearance as a more dusty college look (colleges, especially big colleges, do not care one iota about your appearance), but...the second is going to his old high school for a musical performance to support his friends and family. There clearly isn't a dress code or anything, and more notably to my detail obsessed brain, he made a point to style his hair up.

Maybe it was intended as an innocuous detail to harken back to the first two seasons, but from a character standpoint, why would he do that? He's clearly comfortable letting it sit naturally, so why bother for that event? Thus: theory that EJ feels the need to 'perform' for the Wildcats. He puts on the image of himself they're 'used to' from when he was in school, styles his hair that way, dresses with a button up in place of a more comfy outfit, etc. His insecurities are such that he can't let on to his old friends that anything is wrong or he's anything less than 'same old EJ'. It's Hella depressing, but it feels accurate somehow.

Bonus that he wasn't as uptight about himself around Ricky, almost as though he trusts Ricky enough to let his guard down, almost as though he cares more for Ricky than the others...I'm a Caswen shipper starved for content, what can I say?

Anyway, it's just more content as to EJ mastering masking his depression because he feels as though he'd be burdening the people who care about him otherwise. This man needs ten billion hugs, a boatload of therapy, and preferably a boyfriend named Richard who will dote on him till the sun explodes.

Plus, y'know, would've been a cool concept to explore in S4, college students masking depression and insecurity around their old high school. But het romance #6, pointless Freshman character, and biphobia were all far more important plotlines, right?

[cglacia]

April 3rd:

Talk about family. How are your relationships with your family members?

Could be better, could be worse. Note that both me and my sister were foreign-adopted by West European Americans from completely different parts of China, and that none of us are biologically related, so any possibility of my sister or parents also being neurodivergent would be completely coincidental.

My relationship with my sister started getting good when she started high school and really took off once she finished college, and she's the closest thing I have to a friend these days. But I'm reluctant to lean on her too much because she has her own stuff to deal with.

Our parents are both WASP Boomers in their late sixties and lifelong Republicans, just to set the tone here. My mom has definitely gone through some trauma that she should really go to therapy for, and what hurts is that she's an absolutely fantastic mom about 85% of the time, but that other 15% of the time, she's said some awful verbal abuse. I consider my dad more of a friend than a parent, honestly, but he's still got that "emotionally constipated Boomer man" thing going on.

I have a very slightly positive, but largely distant relationship with one of my paternal cousins and her parents, and nonexistent to negative relationships with all of my other surviving family members on both sides. Also, we do not know anything about my birth family.

Are they generally supportive of you as an autistic person? Are they accommodating to your needs? Does being autistic affect your familial relationships in any meaningful way?

My dad is accidentally more supportive of me than my mom because he's just more easygoing and has always been more willing to accept me for the way I am and find workarounds for some problems in my life (such as my childhood ARFID), but I don't think he really understands what autism is. I really appreciate that quiet acceptance and willingness to try, though.

My mom spearheaded me getting my assessment when I was ten and has technically been supportive, but not always in ways that have helped me, and whether she felt like being "supportive" by her definition was dependent on how stressed/angry she was. On the one hand, she really fought to find me volunteer work suited for autistic folks that really helped me grow, and helped me find and apply for scholarships that saved me a boatload of money on college. But if she was in a bad mood, she'd get outright ableist with me, on top of verbally abusive.

She used to use ABA-adjacent tactics on me when I was younger. For example, whenever I started to talk about something I was interested in or excited about, she'd gently remind me to not monopolize the conversation after I'd said no more than one sentence. I, of course, did not know how to determine when I was "monopolizing" the conversation, and shortly after my diagnosis is when I started getting into obscure (for the mid-2000s) stuff like anime that most of the other kids at school thought was weird, so I just learned to never talk about anything I like so there's no chance of me driving them away.

After I started college, and especially after I graduated and landed a good job, she started getting really ableist and seemingly decided that I had recovered from my autism or grown out of it, and was now "normal". She'd get mad at me for still needing clear, written instructions and quiet time while also seeing my desire for more independence as disrespectful. There were certain rare moments where she'd notice that I was unhappy and gently acknowledge my needs and take them into account, surrounded on both sides by several more times where trying to voice any of my needs would be met with anger and accusations of selfishness that ruin the entire thing for everyone, leading to me just deciding to suffer in silence, which would either be ignored or met with a demand to just be happy or toughen up.

There's a lot more to that, but to make a long story short, she's the main reason why I fought so hard to move out on my own. I felt stifled living with her and desperately wanted to build my life and surroundings around just my needs. And I didn't have the courage to stand up to her until days before I was due to move out.

I'm not going to lie; I envy neurodivergent folks who say that their parents and siblings are the only ones who really understand them, because outside of my sister, I don't have that. I like my dad, but he doesn't really get it and is a better friend to me than a parent, and I just don't trust my mom that much, because I know her attempts at improving could always be rescinded the moment she gets angry.

[choicesmc]

the promised sawtooth mini essay <3

The absolute worst part of turning was the out of control emotions. Specifically that the entire period thrusts him right back to being a grade schooler, barely six maybe seven years old, and being completely unable to control any of his actions. 

I don’t think anyone in the pack knows Sawtooth has ODD and, for the most part, it’s pretty easy to hide. By the time they were entering college, Sawtooth has years of therapy behind them, their parents have been receiving parenting lessons for years, and he has a boatload of coping mechanisms to make certain their oppositional defiant disorder doesn’t get upgraded to full on anti-social disorder. It’s doable to get through a day, then a week, then a month, without major incidents and the things that do occur –say vindictive episodes– they’re easily brushed off as typical college craziness. 

Plus, Sawtooth doesn’t go out of his way to tell others. It’s not like a fun fact they can’t wait to whip out so as long as no one asks, no one knows. 

Then they become a werewolf and can’t fucking control anything anymore. It’s ridiculous. Every strategy, every coping method, every fucking tool he’s kept in his disposal just vanishes. Even worse? It’s not like anyone in the pack has been studying up on how to keep consistent, reasonable discipline that focuses on reinforcing positive behavior instead of punishing unwanted ones. 

And even if someone, by miracle, had it wouldn’t have helped. If anything, it’d reinforce Sawtooth’s feeling of helplessness. They already feel like a child. They don’t need someone to take up the role of their parent. Someone their own age and graduating class having to discipline him like a naughty child who needs to learn better does not help actually. 

Sawtooth knows this. But knowing something doesn’t help when he finds himself lashing out at the most asinine questions, when he’s cursing out a packmate over a basic slight, when they’re plotting actual fucking revenge over a snoring neighbor. 

Adding into the mix, Sawtooth doesn’t have a therapist right now. When he transferred to Woosley, they made the difficult decision to stop holding sessions with their therapist. Both of them agreed that Sawtooth could hold his own at this point and Sawtooth themself was eager to be “independent” (<- that’s how 18 year old them saw it). Sure, they know they can start their sessions again with a couple texts but… they can’t explain why they need to relearn years of stuff, why he’s practically at ground zero, and (most importantly)... it feeds their irritation. 

A second axle on this nightmare period relates directly to his gender. Sawtooth is demiboy. Very much emphasis on the boy part. He doesn’t see himself in manhood, they seem themselves in boyhood. Mischief, innocence, naive responsibility –these are the things that have been denied to Sawtooth from childhood. They spent most of their time being seen as an adult. Oppositional defiant disorder only became his prognosis because given children personality disorders is Not A Good Thing so most medical professionals don’t see their ODD as just that. They see it as lurking antisocial personality disorder and retroactively pin adult intentions to his childish actions. 

And now Sawtooth is back to that stage except this time they are an adult. 

And it fucking sucks.  

[thekinslayed]

I really hope I don’t come across as rude and apologise if I do. This isn’t directed at you, more so to people sending anons to you, although we all need to be careful of what we are giving a platform to at the moment. There needs to be clarification over the music video as people spreading rumours that Ewan had more say in the it is actually having very serious consequences of people directing their jealousy towards the poor actress involved that was just trying to do her job and now has to deal with jealous fans because of a brief couple day shoot they shared together. The music video had an intimacy coordinator (Louise Kempton) who also doubles as a movement coach and choreographer. So all the romance in the video was choreographed by her, not Ewan, not the actress. I know most of his normal fans are just having a bit of fun wanting to imagine Ewan as being romantic but can we please be careful with what we spread and look out for the actress. There are some already taking their jealousy out on Grace because she got to kiss Ewan, spreading things like he had say in the choreography and wanted to throw her on the bed is just really setting this poor girl for boatloads of harassment and hate.

i can’t say i’m surprised, but i was really hoping people would be normal for once. like i said previously, idk much about the behind the scenes stuff that happened in this mv and i understand now that i have to take what people tell me with a grain of salt.

but also everyone should know that everything that happens on a film set is choreographed!! everything!!

sure there’s some we hear about directors letting their actors run amuck but for the most part, anon makes a great point of pointing out that there was an intimacy coordinator on that set, regardless of how comfortable actors may be w those kind kf scenes, they’re still there.

and regardless of the chain in command that made ewan kissing a girl on camera possible, there is absolutely NO reason to be hating the actress. they’re all doing their jobs, and she did wonderfully.

if you get unreasonably angry over a man (who doesn’t know you) kissing another girl on screen, might i suggest taking that attitude elsewhere. perhaps therapy. not in some poor woman’s instagram dms.

[w-ht-w]

Growing & Healthy Enneagram 4

"Find a therapist, one that does NOT coddle you. You need tough love. No attachment, strong boundaries. You need a model of strength and discipline.

Release anger. 4's have a boatload of it. You've probably imagined and fantasized about doing crazy stuff...take a minute and look back on what hurt you. Deal with the hurt by releasing the anger. Your therapist will tell you how.

Establish routine. There is beauty in routine. There is depth in discipline.

Cut out relationships that emotionally enable you. You are always going to default to emotion, so you don't need enablers. You need tough, direct feedback, people who won't take your shit and who will support you with truth. You need to find strength, so go to where it is.

WATCH OUT FOR ENVY. You need nothing that others have and you have everything you need. Period.

You can do this. Your mind will give you outs...those are the enemy. Fight every urge to succumb to the thoughts that life is too hard, too overwhelming, "too beautiful and complex and horrible and wonderful for me to possibly deal with" and do some basic shit. Pay your bills. Open your mail. Make your bed. Work out. Wake up at the same time. Meditate. This is true self support. You got this." (x)

I think a lot of it depends on the type of 4 you are. My husband is a 4 who has a strong So component (relating to others/the group). When he's depressed, he tends to withdraw and isolate and make himself worse. ... In essence, I think having a positive connection to others and being part of something valuable where you feel significant (even as a big fish in little pond as opposed to the big fish big pond that so many 4s dream of) seems to be really healthy for some 4s. ...  I ended up being a little fish in a big pond wanting to be the big fish and it definitely negatively affected my mental health. I ended up moving across the country to a small rural town and being the big fish in this little pond has given me the confidence and emotional positivity to really develop and grow into a stable big fish who can swim in bigger ponds. ... maybe ... being able to shine in a little pond when the pressure and expectations are low will give him the confidence and positivity he needs to really grow and pursue his full potential. (x)

"Personally, I found dialectical behavioural therapy (DBT) did absolute wonders for me. (A combination of teaching methods of emotional regulation/ mindfulness/ distress tolerance and interpersonal effectiveness). It enabled me to actually understand the 'why's' behind why I was doing things, and understanding a lot of shame that I had to unearth and start to deal with. I experienced something very similar to you- I was AWARE of what I was doing but I didn't have the tools to be able to help myself, that's where professional help and DBT came in for me (and an incredibly good friend who kept me accountable).

Allow yourself to sit in self pity for a while when those moments come, feel the feelings, but then pick yourself up and wade forward. Don't sit there too long as the water goes stagnant and us 4's need to physically MOVE to feel more grounded, get up, walk around, go for a run, go swimming, but get out of your head and into the physical world, nature helps a lot." (x)

"Get off social media. Like delete your accounts and everything. This helped me so immensely because I suddenly was able to control the envy to a much greater degree and begin to understand and be thankful for what I had and who I was rather than comparing myself to others and only seeing what was lacking.

Exercise or at least regularly move your body. As a 4 who has spiraled quite a few times, staying active and moving around helps get me out of my head and into the real world around me. I go on a lot of walks which help bring me back to almost a child-like state of wonder - this gets my creativity flowing and allows me to work on projects that I have always wanted to.

See a therapist who specializes in CBT - I see a psychologist rather than a mental health counselor. It can be a little pricier than a normal therapist but I have seen results much quicker than previous therapists I have had. Either way it will help you dig through some of the noise that blocks you from feeling emotional equanimity.

Pursue creative interests even when you don't feel like it or feel inspired. Do it not to show it off but to show yourself what you are feeling. Do it because you are worthy of creating just for yourself.

Get plenty of sleep. ... Greatly improved my all around health.

Surround yourself with people who allow you to be you but also don't keep you around as a novelty item. Surround yourself with people who tell you hard truths in love and safety. Remove all toxic relationships that cause you to deteriorate towards unhealthy 2 tendencies.

Keep a journal to sort out your thoughts and feelings and read back over the past week each week." (x)

"Connect with at least one person to the max.

Any time I get to teach people in a professional setting, I feel that the world is bigger than my emotions and I can make a difference in people's lives.

Keep busy, stop fantasizing and talking to yourself." (x)

[serenanymph]

wip intro - beast, witch's book

Five long, excruciating seconds pass. Bit by bit, Icarus pulls Crys up, till they’re both collapsed and wheezing in the snow, safe on the clifftop, the Witchrisen far below them. “Well,” Icarus says, still out of breath, and he eyes the last of the rope as it goes over the side, eliciting an angry shriek a moment later when the Witchrisen finds no prey on the other end. “That was not fun. Thanks for the save, though, uh…” He turns towards the hooded figure, packing away the short length of rope they’d manage to hack off and salvage into a small satchel sitting in the snow. “Oh, don’t thank me,” they grouse, “ruined my day and my rope. What I want to know” – they whirl, finally tugging down their hood to reveal the freckled, scowling face of a young girl – “is just what the fuck did you do to piss of a Witchrisen that size?”

GENRE: YA high fantasy

POV: third person, multiple, present tense

STATUS: ongoing (first draft)

FEATURES:

flashbacks. tragedy. tragedy flashbacks

we got snow. we got mountains. we got more snow

secrets!!!

more magic, shapeshifting, undead creatures

the Journey continues

mine tunnels, mysterious underground labs, auctions

basically ten thousand different things because I'm overambitious but it's going to look cool. promise

(synopsis, characters and other stuff under cut. it's a lil long)

SYNOPSIS:

The Khujsa Mountains. Cold, unforgiving, and housing one of the Anti-Magic Army's biggest strongholds, it might also just be the most dangerous place anywhere in the country, especially for Beasts.

After a week of travelling, Crys and Icarus have finally reached the Elai Pass. From there, they're supposed to pass through to Riel, and then it's (mostly) smooth sailing all the way to Tel, where Icarus's contact resides.

But upon arrival, they find that things may not be as easy as they seem.

A Beast rebellion group. A Halfling in the AMA. And a young, brash girl who seems to hate the AMA just as much as she hates Beasts, and who certainly has something of her own to hide. Throw that onto the fact that Elai is an AMA stronghold, add in a Knight Captain from the Order of Klysmos, plus sprinkle in the hint of a conspiracy…well, they've certainly got their work cut out for them.

On the other end, after an equally stressful two weeks, Beatriz Das-Reille has finally reached Crys's village… just to find out Icarus is already long gone. However, she soon gets her own set of problems to worry about - joining up with Dahlia Reistveil brings to light that a certain poacher group has come back to town, and that this entire operation may run deeper than she's ever imagined. Does she go after Ink, now that she knows where he is? Or does she pursue this deeper and unearth what's going on, despite the risk it brings and the fact that she'll have to abandon her original goal?

Crys had picked to save someone in the face of an impossible choice. Icarus just wants to get home. Beatriz had never asked for any of this, and Dahlia only wants to do the right thing, but  one thing is true for all of them.

No matter their intentions at first, they've just been pulled into something that might be far bigger than them - and if they aren't careful, that something will swallow them whole. No country is without its secrets, after all, and Kosei has quite the number of skeletons in her closet…

POV CHARACTERS

Crys Averwell - 16, human, archer. sharp tongue and even sharper wit. walking personification of "I'm fine", needs sleep and therapy but is getting neither because I keep putting him in Situations

Icarus "Ink" Kal-Nira - 17, Beast (Crow), dual-wielder. ray of sunshine and genuinely the nicest person to ever exist. giant golden retriever energy. Trying His Best

Dahlia Reistveil - 17, human, daughter of a tavern-owner. Crys's childhood friend. often seen as the Mature One, but underneath all that she has a boatload of her own Issues

Beatriz Das-Reille - 16, Beast (Crow), Icarus's sort-of-but-not-really-little-sister. fast flier, wields a rapier, and is made up of only anxiety and more anxiety.

+

Rhyme - 14, human (???), apothecary from the mountains with a lot to hide. picks all her herbs and medicines directly from the wild so she knows her way around. extremely angry. will make your ears bleed

Carrick "Sol" Solder - 15, Halfling (Wolf), soldier in the AMA. commonly known as the Witchhunter's Mutt. often addressed as either "Sol" or "soldier". anger issues 2.0, never stops arguing with Rhyme the instant he meets her

taglist: @sapphos-scientist, @allianaavelinjackson

gen tag, wip tag

okay so my wip intros are kind of a mess right now, and I still haven't made a page for beast, but since I'm working on book 2 right now and there are a lot more new characters, I figured I should at least attempt to clear up some of the future confusion.

anyway, this is the wip intro for book 2, and there's another one here that's more a mashup intro between the overall series and book 1...? yeah I'm gonna remake that. just bear with me here I don't really know what I'm doing. also!!! there is a taglist now!!! let me know if you want to be added, not like I'm really sure how it should work.

[jadelotusflower]

Stargate rewatch: 1x06 Cold Lazarus

It’s crystal doppelgänger time!

We have abandoned the helmets entirely, now Jack in his cap is the only one with headgear.

Jack’s locker is next to Ferretti’s, do we assume he took over command of SG-2 when Kawalsky died?

In Jack's Van Dyck cigar box o' secrets: a b&w photo of two kids, his wedding ring, a culturally inappropriate coin pouch, a picture of Jack with what we can assume is his mother, Jack in military getup, and lots of pics of Charlie at different ages.

Ok we get a timeline clue - Sam says she’s known Jack for “months”.

Oh hey, there’s a female scientist in the lab! Who talks to Sam! Is this the show’s first official pass of the Bechdel test? Okay Daniel is technically present, but the exchange is with Sam about EM fields. Checking the cast list she’s only credited as “laboratory assistant” but I’m going to go ahead and say it counts.

Poor Teal’c’s room is so sparse, and the way he reacts to the tv indicates that it’s new.

Teal'c: "You received permission for me to fire my staff weapon in the gateroom?" Sam: "Oh Yeah." Daniel: "Absolutely!" Hee.

Sam and Daniel are really paired up a lot in these early episodes, not only doing their science twin thing, but for the character moments.

Daniel is wearing surgical gloves to examine the crystal, seems prudent.

I don’t ship Jack/Sam, but I am amused by the physical resemblance between her and Sara. This is a cute outfit too.

You may remember Harley Jane Kozak as Susan (with the bulimia) in Parenthood or Helen (Harry’s ex) in When Harry Met Sally. She’s really great as Sara, she and RDA have a nice chemistry and sense of history and there's a palpable difference in her interactions with crystal!Jack here and real!Jack later.

“Holly Hannah!” Hee, I love Sam.

Teal’c rattles off the sports teams of Chicago - guess he was doing a lot of reading before he got that tv. Jack tells him not to forget the Cubs - earlier we saw a photograph of Charlie in a Cubs shirt so that’s a nice touch.

“I did not understand your injury.” This whole scene hits me, I feel so bad for poor crystal!Jack, just trying to make things right.

Sara is going to need a boatload of therapy after this. I know they intended this episode as closure to Jack/Sara and his grief over Charlie, but I would have liked to have seen her again.

I hope they sent the other crystal back too!

[smhalltheurlsaretaken]

Wow, Superman and Lois really is a good show. Halfway through the first season and I love the Kent family so much, but I also feel so much for the antagonist...

[vulgar-display-of-escapism]

Are ships' names still a thing?

yes, I do realize this question makes me look old. I AM old, get over it.

The point is, after reading this wonderful gem:

I'm neck deep in Hank feels. So, I'm doing a little revisionist history piece, where Stefani picked a man over a pretty boy in need of a boatload of therapy.

Do these two have a ship name?

[al-longbottom]

Poly Severus, Sirius and Remus

What a poly relationship with Severus, Sirius and Remus would include:

_______

- It would take a long time for Severus and Sirius to get along, but with Remus and your help it wouldn’t take nearly as long as it would without you.

- Remus and Severus reading in the living room by the fire, you and Sirius curled up in their laps.

- Sirius convincing Remus to read aloud to you two, and Severus pretending to keep reading his book when he’s actually listening to Remus. Eventually Severus would put down his book and pull you into his lap to hold you as Remus reads to you guys.

- All of you eat dinner together, if you’re all living together, every night.

- Watching Severus make his potions, responding snarkily to any of Sirius’ questions.

- Severus randomly offering you guys tea. Him just getting up in the middle of doing something to make a pot if he notices he is out. Making a potion? Tea break. Reading a book? Tea break. Bored with a conversation? Tea break.

- Sirius stealing Severus’ cloak to wear it, and Remus and him taking turns trying it on. At first you were on Severus’ side, trying to help him get it back… but now you kinda want to try on the cloak yourself.

- 3 men, all with boatloads of their own trauma (no matter what age you’re thinking about honestly: Hogwarts, Post-Hogwarts, Post-Azkaban, Post-War). There will be many nightmares and panic attacks and all you can do is comfort them through it, and remind them that they are loved and they are safe.

- Maybe get them some therapy too. All of them need it. And honestly, if you willingly entered a relationship with all three of them then you probably do too so why not just sign all of you up.

- You, Remus and Sirius all cuddling and Severus pretending he’s above cuddling until one of you (Most likely Sirius) pulls him down into the puppy pile (get it? Puppy pile? Cause Sirius is a dog animagus and Remus is a werewolf, and you’re a furry for being attracted to either of them? Okay, okay, I’ll leave now)

- Severus having a hard time after being called to meet with the dark lord, or having memories of what Voldemort would do to him, and shutting himself off: curling up in his armchair near the fire with a bottle of whiskey, not talking to any of you.

- The three of you giving him gentle affection (arm/shoulder/leg massages, gently kissing his cheek, or playing with his hair) until he slowly begins to open back up to you.

- When Sirius is remembering his time in Azkaban, or the abuse his parents put him through, you are tasked with drawing him a warm bath. Severus gets him something to eat, or some tea. Remus is the one who coaxes him to the tub. Then all three of you just sit with him in companionable silence.

- When Remus is having a hard day with his lycanthropy, it’s a cuddle day. He is honestly the easiest to take care of out of all of your boys, because all he wants on his bad days is to be held and that’s not hard at all.

[serenanymph]

wip intro - beast

A single feather drifts from within the boy's bloodied cloak to the ground, floating, dancing on the wind. Pitch black, stained red, exactly like the ones Crys had seen earlier on the trail. Silence. The world holds its breath, both of them staring at that feather on the ground, a single second stretching out into eternity. “Oh,” the boy says weakly. “Shit.”

GENRE: YA high fantasy

POV: third person, multiple, present tense

STATUS: book 1 on hold (final draft), book 2 ongoing (first draft)

FEATURES:

found family and large casts

queer characters of various flavors + background romance

sarcastic one + ray of sunshine one

chill lesbian + disaster lesbian

undead creatures!!! cool magic!!! shapeshifting!!!

a Journey

discrimination, eventual rebellion, lots of blowing stuff up

telling each other to practice self-care while not practicing self-care

and a protagonist who doesn't really fit the 'hero' or 'chosen one' role

SYNOPSIS:

There are monsters in the woods.

Beasts have been at war with humans for centuries. The children of Katas himself, they are shapeshifters, magic wielders, and the source of the Witchrisen that has been plaguing Kosei since time immemorial.

For Crys Averwell, a human boy from a backwater village, there has never been any reason to doubt the old legends. However, when he stumbles across a wounded crow-boy in the woods whose wings have been brutally hacked off, everything he knows is thrown into question.

On the flip side, Icarus Kal-Nira is wingless, weaponless, and stranded miles and miles away from home, with no way to get back. If he wants to survive, he's going to have to trust Crys.

Quite unfortunately, that's the easy part - because when the entire world hates Beasts, a single ally won't be enough to grant an edge. And as time goes on and threats increase, it's only going to get harder for Crys to hide Icarus's existence from his village...

POV CHARACTERS

Crys Averwell - 16, human, archer. sharp tongue and even sharper wit. walking personification of "I'm fine", needs sleep and therapy but is getting neither because I keep putting him in Situations

Icarus "Ink" Kal-Nira - 17, Beast (Crow), dual-wielder. ray of sunshine and genuinely the nicest person to ever exist. giant golden retriever energy. Trying His Best

Dahlia Reistveil - 17, human, daughter of a tavern-owner. Crys's childhood friend. often seen as the Mature One, but underneath all that she has a boatload of her own Issues

Beatriz Das-Reille - 16, Beast (Crow), Icarus's sort-of-but-not-really-little-sister. fast flier, wields a rapier, and is made up of only anxiety and more anxiety.

taglist (lmk if you want to be +/-): @sapphos-scientist

feel free to browse through the gen tag in which I reblog everything from inspiration to resources, and occasionally actually post something! I'll probably make a proper long page later on and sort out the tagging system, but until then you just get this.

[greensaplinggrace]

In a recent malarklina post you mentioned having many headcanons 👀 Care to share with the class?

So I went over some character hcs for the three of them in this post! But here are a few that are specifically Malarklina. (Some of these are set in an Immortal!Mal AU and some aren't, sorry if it gets a bit confusing).

Aleksander has a competency kink and is attracted to Alina showing off her sun powers and Mal showing off his tracking abilities.

Alina makes them both little suns that follow them around to always light their path. This is especially meaningful to Aleksander, although he'd never admit it, because he used to be afraid of the dark as a child.

Mal reminds Aleksander of Luda, and he often goes into depressive states when considering the fact of Mal's mortality. Once Alina fully grasps the reality of the situation, she often suffers from them as well. During these times, Mal tries to be there for them as much as he can, but it's a heavy burden to bear alone.

They all have difficult relationships with gender and sexuality and at one point actually end up sitting down (completely by accident, because Aleksander is allergic to emotions) to talk about this aspect of their lives in more depth.

Aleksander usually sleeps in the middle because he's a) touch-starved and b) an attention whore, but they switch it up on occasion.

Mal is the most clingy sleeper in the history of sleepers. Aleksander and Alina have both woken up on more than one occasion to Mal literally laying fully on top of them and wrapped around them like an octopus. Aleksander likes the weight and usually just snuggles in deeper but Alina has to wiggle out of the way most of the time so she can breathe.

Mal likes Aleksander with short hair but Alina likes him with long hair. This is the source of many fights in their relationship, none of which Aleksander is actually apart of.

Alina and Aleksander both like Mal with longer hair and so he's press ganged into growing it out.

Mal and Alina love every single song Aleksander hates.

When Mal pisses Aleksander off it's no sex for a day even after a dozen apologies, but when Alina pisses him off all she has to do is say sorry and he'll just eat her out right then, not a care in the world.

Aleksander is very physically affectionate, but Mal and Alina have phases of liking it and disliking it, so they have to balance a way to take care of each other's needs without pushing boundaries.

Aleksander is directionally challenged because I said so and Mal and Alina constantly have to make sure he doesn't get lost.

Kissing scars has become a very intimate practice between them all.

Aleksander keeps an obsessively clean house but Alina's paint supplies get everywhere, that paired with Mal just shucking off his hunting outfits anywhere in the house and dumping his gardening/hunting supplies wherever's most convenient means that Aleksander is in a constant state of annoyance about their living situation.

Alina makes a Rule about Mal and Aleksander fighting after Mal straight up tackles Aleksander off the side of the roof when they're trying to figure out how to replace shillings.

They all spar with each other at least once every other day. This mostly started as a means of keeping themselves sharp in case of danger, but it quickly became a bonding routine of sorts. Turns out Aleksander has a lot of information stored up about fighting. That paired with Mal's military training makes for some very intense spars as well as the rapid growth of all three of them into some of the most dangerous fighters on the planet.

@mal-zoya now has me convinced that it will take at least 500 years for Mal and Aleksander to admit they love each other.

Aleksander likes it when they wear his clothes. Alina likes wearing Mal and Aleksander's clothes. There is a lot of clothing sharing going on. It gets to the point where the only way they can tell who's clothing is who's is based on color scheme and the quality of the cloth and occasionally (but not always) the size as well.

Mal and Alina infodump all the time about their passions and Aleksander eats it up. He loves it. He thinks his partners are the smartest people in the universe.

When Alina is suffering from artist's block she goes to Aleksander for inspiration. When she's inspired she goes to Mal to create.

Mal is generally the one who cooks all of their meals because Alina will get distracted when she's going on an art spree and Aleksander will just straight up forget he's a human sometimes. But when Mal doesn't do it Aleksander does it because he has Standards and he's not about to let his partners starve to death, thank you very much.

Aleksander and Mal used to cook plainer foods in the beginning of the relationship but they both slowly shake off some of the chains of their upbringings and previous ways of life to slowly try out more elaborate and lush recipes. Alina has come home on more than one occasion to see them collaborating on a new recipe Aleksander managed to flirt/finagle out of one of the old ladies from the nearby village.

Alina likes to ride out every day and sometimes ropes Aleksander or Mal into going with her. There are lots of picnics and packed lunches in their life. When they go to an especially scenic spot, she'll sit there for hours and draw.

Mal won't ever be able to fully understand the meaning of Alina's immortality. It would be impossible to, even with many explanations and having to deal with Aleksander's own traumas as a result. But that doesn't stop him from attempting to learn as much as he can to make things easier for both of his partners.

Alina attempts to join the local ladies' knitting group in the nearby village but hates it. Aleksander, on the other hand, finds it to be the most valuable source of gossip in the village. He rapidly becomes a part of the club and returns home with boatloads of gossip by the day. Alina and Mal have no idea what to do with literally any of this information, but Aleksander certainly does. Getting involved in small town drama is, in his opinion, one of the best things he ever decided to do. Mal and Alina are beginning to think he needs some therapy.

Mal starts a little farm outside of their cottage and Alina starts a flower garden. Alina also begins to amass a small library over time, with the help of Aleksander "is this an original text?! maybe so" Morozova. Mal is not expecting to come home one day to an entirely new room built into the house and a massive collection of books lining the walls.

Alina and Aleksander will use their powers actively all day. In fact, they both get so comfortable with summoning that they just start letting their emotions affect their summoning all the time. And so Mal has a very good indicator for whether or not his partners are upset or happy based on the way the shadows and lights flicker, much akin to the way people judge how their cats are feeling based on what their tails are doing.

Also, though, Mal just feels proud that they both trust him enough and feel comfortable enough around him and in their home to feel as if they don't need to watch themselves constantly.

Alina still likes mapmaking and, after a few years of peace where she starts to get restless, she slowly begins to do it again. Every two months or so she'll go out on a long trip to map a few of the nearby areas. She quickly builds up a side business of selling her personal maps to the people of whatever town they're living near.

Aleksander eventually opens up enough to share some of his past with Alina and Mal. He especially begins to engage more with the pieces of his culture that he had to forsake in order to assimilate over the years. Alina and Mal are always more than willing to help him puzzle through a half remembered recipe or a phrase in his native tongue that he's partially forgotten. They feel honored every time he shares a small piece of his history with them.

Nightmares are a common occurrence between all of them and whenever one happens a cuddle pile of epic proportions ensues. Also sometimes they talk about feelings have some pillow talk to work through things. Aleksander will also sometimes sing them back to sleep. His lullabies are haunting, but his singing voice is beautiful, and it usually does the trick. He refuses to sing for them outside of these moments, however.

Alina adores the height difference between her and her very tall partners. She thinks its fucking stellar.

Alina and Mal start up an orphanage on many occasions throughout the centuries. Alina loves kids and constantly helps them when she can. She mourns the fact that she won't ever be able to adopt without having to watch them grow old without her.

They've all discussed having kids at multiple points throughout their lives, and they all want to do so. But Aleksander wants to wait until Grisha persecution is no longer even the hint of an issue. Alina and Mal agree to wait, largely because they want some time to think on it too.

Mal tries to teach Alina how to shoot one day and she accidentally clips Aleksander as he's coming outside with lunch. He never lets her live it down and on more than one occasion attempts to use it for sympathy points, even hundreds of years later.

Aleksander is both the big spoon and the little spoon, but he likes being the big spoon (in reality he's a knife, of course). Mal likes being the little spoon but is often relegated to the big spoon, and Alina likes being both.

Alina paints a portrait of Mal and Aleksander cuddled up in bed once and no matter how much they entreat her to burn it she absolutely refuses to do so.

Aleksander is basically a walking, talking source of illegal activity, and he can't be taken anywhere anymore without expecting some sort of crime to take place.

Alina tries to adopt a little black cat one day and Aleksander gets outrageously jealous. He spends about two months being bitter, then another two months trying to chase it off, but the creature stays with them all until it dies of old age (and he'll never admit to privately grieving it's loss, although Mal and Alina both know it).

All of their communication skills are absolutely atrocious but Alina is the best. Mal is the second best. Aleksander doesn't even rank. Over time, they get into the habit of it, though. They practice at it painfully for years until they reach the point where healthy communication becomes second nature.

Mal proposes to Alina one day (after much talk between all three of them) and they get married. A couple years later they both propose to Aleksander (after zero talk, he is suitably surprised and also maybe a bit teary eyed). They have an illegal wedding on holy ground at midnight with a bribed and essentially kidnapped pastor.

Aleksander spends an excessive amount of money on Alina and Mal. He buys them things constantly and lavishes them with gifts. Alina loves it but it grates on Mal for a time until he realizes it isn't a means of manipulation as much as a love language and a shoddy attempt at communication and expressing feelings.

Once they reach the modern world (in an Immortal!Mal AU), they all get phones and send each other the most cursed texts in all of history. The group chat is a hellspace and the individual chats are just pure shittalking. Nowhere is free.

Shopping in the modern world consists of chaotic impulse buys and the excessive waste of money. They're all each other's impulse control, but they can't always go out together at the same time, so it's usually only in groups of two. Which means that when Alina's gone, Aleksander fills the cart with sweets. And when Mal is gone, Alina fills the cart with an inordinate amount of bananas (which are new) and microwavable easy to eat meals and paint supplies and oh! look at these pretty notebooks on display!. And when Aleksander is gone the cart its legitimately just a free for all. He comes home and there's mincemeat and apple pies cooking for some reason. Mal has a new apron. The fire alarm has been replaced. Turns out they stopped at an ikea on the way back and now they have a better dining table.

Alina is the best driver of them all. Aleksander goes way too fast but he never crashes. Mal refuses to even step foot in a car for about half a decade.

Aleksander is actually the one that gets into makeup. He quite enjoys it and thinks maybe his partners need to live a little for once. They both very firmly disagree.

Alina loses the tv remote constantly and it drives Mal absolutely wild. Sometimes Aleksander will steal it just to watch Mal go into a frenzy looking for it.

Alina builds up a large following for her art (and the art of her 'ancestors') over the centuries. Modern day Alina is basically famous, but luckily nobody knows her face.