#and he looked so mad lol I dont blame him

[tvdfan23]

So I walked out of the ENT job but I HAD A GOOD REASON (and i have an interview with a doctors office today down the street where I work so no bumper to bumper traffic)

[psychabolition]

You talk about getting rid of the psychiatric system. But what do you propose should be done instead? /gen

I'm going to tell you a story . I once knew someone called Tim. When I met him he had already spent most of his life in drug addiction treatment centres, psych wards and prisons until he later ended up in a forensic psych ward. After he did LSD he 'never came down from his bad trip' and got diagnosed w schizophrenia. This diagnosis +the addict - diagnosis justified so many fucking human rights violations - it got him locked up, drugged up, strip searched, his privacy violated on a daily basis, isolated away from society and everyone he knew because apparently he needed to be 'saved from this illness in his brain that makes him do/think/feel' things he otherwise wouldnt and because he needed to be 'punished' into being a 'functioning', 'productive' (read: profit-generating) member of 'society' (read: hegemonic cultural norms & forms.) This is what psychiatry does - it doesnt help, it locks us up and tortures us. I dont need to be able to name alternatives to this lol . This is the worst possible way of treating anyone ever. It would help immensely to literally just STOP doing this. Even 'sane' people would go insane in places like these.

So the alternative to acting like an absolute asshole towards people who struggle severely and who dont have a place in society would be to 1)not isolate them away from society and 2)not torture them 🙏 . It would be to get rid off the psychologists' individual and the psychiatric systems' general saviour complex that only results in abusing people bc they act like the people who are labelled as mentally ill are (=their minds/brains) responsible for at fault for their own struggles. Instead we could show solidarity with each other and try to built a world where everyone has a place in and is valued as a person and where the suffering/madness of an individual is not seen as an incentive to literally abuse and socially ostracize them.

And @ everyone dont come at me w 'not everyone has these experiences w psychiatry' - any time you talk about systemic criticism you have to look at the most marginalized experiences. When talking about police defunding/prison abolition we also talk about police brutality that black disabled poor people face . And yes not everyone has bad experiences w every single cop , still ACAB . ALSO dont come at me with 'I know there ar GOOD psychologists who Actually want to help' ,1) fuck their savior complex 2)what individuals motives are for joining this system of oppression isnt necessarily the purpose of a system. The purpose of a system is what it does. The police isnt there to protect us, psychiatry isnt there to help us. We only have each other.

So, what you can do right now to get rid off the psychiatric system in your community? How can we stop relying on this authoritarian system that abuses and incarcerates so many of us ??

I think its important to educate each other on our rights. Because then we have the knowledge on what not to say in a therapy session so we dont get incarcerated or what to do when we are questioned by cops/psychs to see if we are 'at risk' or what to do when we or friends of us are already incarcerated so they can get out of there as fast as possible. Also educating your friends/family on psychiatric propaganda helps - a common myth is that if you dont 'look for signs' and call the cops to institutionalize a friend they might kill themselves. All while institutionalization/incarceration increases the risk of suicide extremely. This is important to know so no one in our communities calls the cops on us when we're doing really bad. Also educating each other on the biomedical model so everyone understands that we dont have an illness that we need to be 'saved from' (depression for example) or 'punished for' (aspd, drug addiction) and that we (=our minds/brains) arent to blame for our struggles Etc.

If you know that youre sometimes in extreme mental distress/pain you could also make a crisis plan with friends so you dont need to rely on the psych system - like for example the plan could be that a friend calls in sick for work/university and then stays at your place for 3-4days and is there for you/drinks tea w you, goes for a walk together w you, smokes a joint with you together until you feel better and arent acutely suicidal anymore. (Its also best to include several people in this plan bc it can get really overwhelming for 1 person). You can als include things in the plan like asking your friends to take away all knives in your apartment if you want to. Or if its a more permanent 'crisis' then a plan on how to move together with friends to get away from your nuclear family/abusive partner (just as an example).

Access to medication, knowledge on how to get off of them if you dont want to take them anymore and freedom and proper education in your decision on taking, weaning off or on staying on medication is not given in the psych system. So how do we change that? A common reason for 'crisis' is trying to wean off of psychiatric drugs (a lot of people get suicidal or psychotic bc of the withdrawal for example - depends on the meds, dosis and since how long youve been taking them though). You could plan when to do this together w friends. Theres anti psych guidelines on how to do this safely - a lot of psychiatrists tell you that you need to stay on meds no matter if you want to or not and they often dont know how to wean off of them or think youre 'at risk' and incarcerate you if you mention that you want to stop taking your meds -this highly depends on how stigmatizing your diagnosis is (=schizophrenia/bipolar are good examples for highly stigmatized ones) or if youre sb who get racialized for example (bc then psychs immediatly perceive you as more of 'a risk'). You could make a plan for example where you ask your friends to stay w you through this by living at your apartment w you for a few days, cooking meals for you and keeping your apartment clean. And then another friend of you could come by each day after work (for example) and also be there since its probably a lot for one person. Also LYING to psychiatrists is always a good idea. For example when youre trans and want to access gender affirming care its important not to mention any diagnoses in general but especially diagnoses like autism, schizophrenia, psychosis or PDs and then literally lie about yourself if necessary. You always know who you are and what you need best. Also dont blindly trust your psych on what medications go well together - look it up yourself !!! Theres a 'drug interaction checker' online where you can see if it might be dangerous to take certain meds at the same time. Also READ on what side effects are possible - make a diary for when you start your medication on how youre feeling/doing . Some changes are awful but still hard to notice bc youre thinking that it could also be a 'normal' worsening of your mental state that you think you might also have without meds. Also depending on what physical conditions you have/had you cant take some medications without it being dangerous - READ the whole instruction paper thing that always comes with your meds and/or google it !!

Also literally just sharing/collecting tips on how to cope w different struggles + harm reduction guides (suicidality, drug addiction, ...) is very helpful. There is a lot of community sourced material already out there.

I understand that the reason most people are severely struggling is because they dont have a community (=like when you only have 1 partner or 1 friend ,because youre (still) legal property of your parents, because youre stuck in a nuclear family,...) and not only because psychiatry divides our communities by blaming us for our struggles and isolating and stigmatizing us. Building community and relying on each other is the only way to get rid off the psychiatric system in the end. If we already had a real community that we could rely on, all the psych wards would be empty and therapists wouldnt exist. This is not the first step, its the solution.

Als there are already alternative institutions (that are already in practice) that are a replacement for psychiatry.

This is probably the answer that youre looking for 😂. I dont really care about these kind of anti psych concepts and practices since they seem out of my reach atm. Ik that theres an anti psych house in berlin whos guiding principles are 1)community care /peer support 2)full autonomy for everyone there and its specifically for people who are running away from psychiatric violence.

Other alternatives that I havent really looked into yet are : bethel house , peer respites, new models of therapy

[xx-psych0-rabbit-xx]

new episode (beast yeast episode 3) spoilers

i just love btw the lore just goes mystic went to cocoon mode to find the meaning of life, witnessed the horrors of greed beyond comprehension till she went cray cray n decides everyone should return to the flesh, went to corruption jail for her crimes, leaving cloud haetae alone to stare blankly at the wastelands of beast yeast for "eons", n then just came back one day like "wanna help me kill this guy so we can kill everyone n ourselves" to which cloud haetae reacted like "omg yay!!! ofc ^_^"

yeah ngl i think i might get autistic abt the beast cookies n associates i love mystic flour n cloud haetae sm

[sharkboywrites]

Hello! May I ask for the BG3 gang with an autistic gn Tav who is. Very Very Large but also quite young (think like... Older teen.) who just decides that Astarion/Wyll/Halsin/Gale etc is their new favourite person and WILL NOT leave them alone.

It would be very funny if they just... didn't realise Tav was actually A Kid™ and thought they were just a weirdly clingy grownup. Except Halsin. Halsin would know Immediately.

Inspired by my dumb ass being enormous and this having happened to me irl many times.

Bg3 Characters With a Young Older Looking Autistic Tav

A/n: This idea is so silly I love it. This is obviously written as platonic because reader is younger and baulder's gate characters are older and I don't write weird stuff like that lol although I'm sure that's expected. Also also i did all of them together because I do not have the energy to write sperate headcannons for each of them, dont worry they all get their moment

Gn Reader, Child/teen Reader

This was an... interesting situation

Everyone on the team assumed you were just assumed you were a bit childish for an adult

I mean could you blame them? You were massive, anyone would assume you were an adult

Except for Halsin

He could easily tell your age, but it's something he kept between the two of you, mainly for safety

Halsin takes more of a dad approach if you cling to him

He's very protective of you and teaches you new skills

He also keeps anyone else on the team from hitting on you, for obvious reasons, but wouldn't say why

He's also the most attentive when it comes to your autism, he's always keeping an eye out for you and helping when he can

It took the others longer to find, though

Wyll was the second to put two and two together

Once he realized, he grilled you about why you didn't tell anyone about it

He isn't too harsh though, and takes a more "fun uncle" role

He always makes sure to entertain you, he's the guy who's got fidgets on him just for you incase you need them

He also decides not to tell anyone for your safety after consulting with Halsin, but he does wish you said something sooner

Gale is the second to last to find out, after trying to teach you something about magic

He had questioned why you didn't know any of this, it was supposed to be common knowledge for someone your age

Or someone he thought was your age

He just stared at you blankly for a good minute after you told him how old you actually were

He's more upset at himself for not noticing to be honest

He realizes how that actually makes a lot of sense

Gale, like Halsin, also takes a more fatherly approach

he teaches you things you may have not known before, and is one of the most helpful when it comes to working through your autism

He's a knowledgeable man and can tell what you need, probably before you do

He's very protective, often insisting that you stay out of battles, but it's not like you listen to him in that department

For comedy's sake, Astarion is the last to find out, and he is pissed

He's mad that no one told him, even if it wasn't too long Gale found out and most of the party knew

He looked so dumbfounded when he found out and like Gale, was more mad that he didn't realize sooner

He's upset, but he gets over it quickly after a day or two of snarky comments and like Wyll, takes on a cool uncle postion

The whole party suddenly wants to protect you and it's suddenly become one of their top goals to return you to your parent/guardian if you have one, next to y'know, getting the worms out of your head

If you don't have somewhere to go they may or may not argue on who takes you once it's all over

Generally, you're taken good care of from then on, much better than you were before

Everyone's very attentive to you and tries to be aware of what you may need at any given point

Since they all have some type of trauma, they want to make sure the same doesn't happen to you, especially so young

Being in this situation is stressful for anyone, let alone a child, and a child with a disability

They do their best to make you happy and keep you safe

They may struggle, but they do their best, and now you have people to call family

[bonefall]

What are your thoughts on Crowfeather's Trial? I already know how you feel about my other least favorite super editions so I'm curious about your opinions on this one lol

I think at best it's just okay. Like...it feels like they're going "see!! We're holding him accountable!!" But then they just kinda...dont?? Like I didn't feel any differently about Crowfeather by the end than I did when I started. There's parts I like about it but overall it just fell flat for me

Like how am I supposed to like this guy when he's just constantly a dick?? he can't stand Harespring for some reason, there's a moment where he's like "I wish my son was dead" and when Nightcloud goes missing he barely gives a damn and doesn't bother to even try and look for her

Anyways I'll forever be mad that they gave this guy a whole super edition and he'll probably have the most dramatic death ever while Leafpool suffered her entire life (and afterlife) and got killed off screen. Hoping he gets jumped by rats and dies from infection

I'm not a big fan of it. It's one of the better written SEs and has a clear goal in mind, but every time I have to encounter it, it feels like it's sidelining the characters who actually deserve to be explored in favor of Crowfeather Sadboy Whinging.

Breezepelt has 12 books detailing how being mistreated by Crowfeather is making him worse, and showing that social alienation is pushing him towards the Dark Forest. Nightcloud was demonized by the old team even though they wrote Crowfeather deflecting all the blame of Breeze's behavior onto her, giving the new team a great opportunity to correct the mistakes of the old writers... and they decided to focus on Crowfeather instead.

And, mind you, they conveniently leave out massive details about how BADLY Crowfeather was abusing his child.

There's this one part of the book where he learns that Breezepelt broke his leg as a kid and he feels like shit for not remembering it, and it's supposed to be a big moment where Crowfeather realizes he was apathetic and careless. But he WASN'T just apathetic and careless. We see him TEACHING his child xenophobia in order to mock and offend Leafpool, smacking Breezepaw around for being 'rude' (the way Crowf always is), and screeching at him for having basic needs like hunger or rest.

Crowfeather WASN'T just a sad, sad boy who didn't pay attention to his kid because he was too busy pining over Dead Wife. What he did to Breezepelt wasn't just neglect; it was physical and emotional abuse.

The book DOES ultimately hold him responsible for how Breezepelt turned out, yes. But it doesn't properly focus on WHAT made Breeze come out the way he did. It wasn't genes, it wasn't Daddy Not Smile At Me. I can only assume the reason why they didn't address how ghoulish Crowfeather actually was is because they knew that being honest and direct about him abusing his child would make him unsympathetic.

Which is a problem, because, y'know, you can just make it Breezepelt's Trial and NOT have to thread that needle??

And furthermore... the book is trying to show Crowfeather addressing that he's kind of an asshole and moving on from it, earning deputyship as a reward for his growth, but what the book really demonstrates to me is that Crowfeather is a dickhead who actually shouldn't have ANY power at all. I don't understand why people would trust him or want him as their leader. I don't see any reason to think that he would be responsible with the lives of an entire Clan of people.

Before I hear clown shoes; if you think that means I "just don't like" that he would be an ""interesting leader,"" pile yourself back into the car with your 30 other jesters and drive away. I mean that it feels completely wrong that any character in-universe would look at the person who exists in Crowfeather's Trial, and say, "this is a person who would help me effectively rule."

What he does, all-book-long, is show that he's an emotionally unstable loose canon borderline incapable of self-reflection. Other characters have to directly tell him "you should try being less of an asshole" and "maybe be nice to your family sometimes?" while he comes up with bullshit reasons to seethe at every character who wanders into his line of sight.

I massively resent the fact that even Leafpool has to mommy his baby ass towards the end of the book. After he spends a good part of Po3 and OotS finding roundabout ways to snipe at her for not giving him exactly what he wanted. It falls on HER to be the one he can ask for advice on how to fix the family he treated like shit his whole life.

no that's not hyperbole she literally. textually. is compared to his mother.

and he can't even be gracious about it, he's instantly all huffy and offended, completely proving her point. Why the hell would anyone make this guy a deputy? The man needs TWO motherly figures giving him the exact same basic advice and a dedicated super edition before he adjusts his behavior even slightly.

(watch him get Boring Leader Syndrome the minute he inevitably becomes Crowstar, too)

Sooo, in a nutshell;

It's one of the better SEs. unfortunately.

Crowfeather is held accountable for being the problem in his own relationships, thank god

but it doesn't fully hold the actions we SAW in the main series books accountable, seemingly purposefully leaving out the worst things he did.

Another WC book where a male character gets an insane amount of sympathy and rewarding that female characters are NEVER deigned deserving of.

Should have been Breezepelt's story. I strongly dislike how Breeze's "redemption" was based on his shitty dad saying sorry. He deserved an actual character arc struggling with ever trusting WindClan again after they took his dad's judgement about him at face value.

Absolutely awful that Leafpool is killed between books and given a trial where they consider sending her to hell when they finally DO get around to showing how she died, while Crowfeather gets an SE about the whole world holding his hand so he can fix the family he broke in 5 easy steps.

Its biggest problem is that it is about a character whose actions you can go and read about. It doesn't deliver on the setup of 12 books of Crowfeather being an absolute git; it's a good story for the version of Crowfeather the new team seems to have created in their heads.

Doesn't stop me from manifesting him getting an infection and having a Sandstorm-tier disrespectful death in the upcoming series, lmao.

[cinnamostar]

four dates to fall in love

part one. part two. part three. part four (here). part five. part six coming soon.

pairing : hyunjin x gn!reader

summary : after a two year long unspoken hatred, hyunjin and you are forced to be costars in a romantic series, but when it comes to filming any of the romance scenes, you both utterly fail and are unable to get through your lines. the director threatens to take your roles away if you two aren't able to get past this within the next week, which spawns the genius idea from both your managers: can you learn to (fake) fall in love in seven dates and save your careers?

wc : 2.7k

cw : actor!au, enemies to lovers ?!, slowburn , not proofread, blood/knife ments (no injury, theyre just cooking lol), emotional vulnerability

a/n : welcome to part four. the slow burn is absolutely slowburning. things are happening. i dont have much to say other than it being hard for me to write, but pls let me know what you think!!!!!! likes and reblogs appreciated!

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“It went well?” Chan exclaimed in shock over your speakerphone.

You hum in agreement, confusion in the forefront of your mind, “Surprisingly, it went better than I could have ever imagined,” a sigh escapes you, “I don’t know, it’s weird.”

“Well, the fact he even apologized caught me off guard in the first place.”

You laugh lightly, “Oh, trust me, I still am having a hard time believing it. It’s been so long of him being an asshole to me, so seeing him like this was… very different. A little scary, if I’m being honest.”

“Yet it still went well even though it was kinda weird?”

“I mean, it was really awkward at the start which was annoying, but I can’t blame him. He genuinely did look like he felt bad, so it probably was hard to be in his position,” you think aloud, “But it was getting too much and he was putting a damper on the mood, so I tried to make him more comfortable, which worked. Then we started talking, and I don’t really know how to say it, but it felt… really nice? It made me realize that maybe I did miss our friendship.”

“Well, you guys did get along really well before everything happened. To be honest, I thought there was something more going on before then,” Chan recalls, “Though, his sudden change made me realize I was way off.”

Your eyebrows furrow at Chan’s comment, “Something more? Like romantic?”

He chuckles from the other end of the line, “Yeah, I thought something was going on between you two. You guys just seemed to click really well, better than any other costar you’ve had in the past, even to this day. Lowkey thought it was going to be a Tom Holland and Zendaya moment.”

“Jesus,” you mutter, “Definitely not that, I never thought of him that way.”

“You say that, but I remember the heart eyes you used to look at him with,” he teases.

“Oh, shut up. I did not. Besides, that’s not what’s important in the present time!”

He rolls his eyes, even though you couldn’t see it, you could feel it in his tone, “Yeah, yeah, whatever you say. You’re right though, it is a difficult situation for both of you to be in. Other than it being uncomfortable, how are you feeling about it?”

You let out a heavy sigh, “I mean, part of me is happy to be able to have a normal relationship with him, but… I’m still really mad at him for how he treated me. I don’t think it’s something I can let go of yet.”

“That’s okay. You have time to process all of that, no one is rushing you.”

“I know, but for a moment yesterday, I kinda forgot about all that. I had fun with him, and I want to keep having fun, but then I remember everything and feel so… upset that I am even letting him back into my life, even if it's for a bit.”

“Huh…” Chan muddles over your words for a moment, “That is quite the dilemma. I think you have every right to be upset at him, but I also think it’s okay if you miss your friend. I just think you have to figure out what kind of boundaries you want to set for yourself then. I think you can still have a nice time with him without him earning your forgiveness just yet. He can be a surface level friend or acquaintance until he proves himself trustworthy again.”

“You’re right, but I just didn’t like how easily it slipped my mind. Part of me feels like I should still be more on guard and not as friendly, but he makes that hard too.”

“Y/N, it’ll be okay,” he reassures, “You’ll figure it out, but it’s perfectly fine for you to have fun, while still having boundaries, okay?”

You sigh, still a bit unconvinced by his words, “I guess…”

“I know it’s hard, I can’t imagine what it's like to be in your position, but I promise it will be okay.”

“I’ll believe you just this once!”

“You say that every time, but sure, just this once. Call you tomorrow, alright?”

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It was the next evening, and you were anxiously waiting in your apartment for Hyunjin to arrive. You weren’t sure how today was going to go, and the idea Changbin had for you both today made you nervous, as it felt as a far more intimate setting than the previous dates. Although, you couldn’t entirely argue with his logic. Today, he suggested that you both cooked a simple dinner with each other, the idea being that it would help you both learn how to work together towards a common goal, which was dinner in this case.

Despite you being able to understand the logic behind his idea, it was incredibly intimidating to think about having Hyunjin in your own home, especially considering the sudden change in dynamic in your relationship. Even then, you didn’t just let anyone into your home, as you only ever had your closest friends come over for small hang outs, so this was far outside of your comfort zone, but perhaps that was a good thing. Maybe going out of your comfort zone with Hyunjin would only help you both succeed the next time you found yourselves on set, and perhaps something as intimate as cooking together would help you both ease into your roles.

A knock on the door wakes you from your thoughts, prompting you to shuffle hurriedly towards the door to open it for none other than Hyunjin. He greets you with a gentle smile, bowing his head slightly as you let him in wordlessly. There is an awkwardness that hangs in the atmosphere, indicating that you both were uncomfortable with today’s plans and he, too, was likely struggling to find the right words to say.

You take a deep breath in, almost as if you were catching your breath, “Welcome to my place!” You cringe internally at yourself, unable to handle the intensity of the awkwardness between you two and how poor your attempt was to disperse it.

“It’s really nice!” he compliments, standing in place by the entrance after removing his shoes.

“Thank you,” you respond, “Uhm, just follow me, the kitchen is this way. And all the ingredients are ready for us to use, Changbin had them delivered.”

Hyunjin follows you into the kitchen, his eyes taking in every detail around him, filling him with delight to see how characteristic of you the apartment was, it being a perfect representation of your personality. “What are we making again? I don’t think Changbin filled me in.”

“Oh, we’re just making curry udon! It’s something I’ve made before and it’s not too hard. My bad, I didn’t tell Changbin what we were making which is probably why he didn’t tell you. All I did was send him an ingredient list.”

“I forgot you like cooking,” he replies as he stops in your kitchen, quickly turning to the sink to wash his hands.

You hum in response, washing your hands after him, “I think it can be relaxing, but uh, if you want you can start with chopping the carrots and potatoes? I’ll handle the onion and garlic.” Hyunjin nods and follows your orders without much trouble, or so you think, until you turn around and see him holding the knife in a very precarious and questionable manner. Your eyes widen as you rush towards, “Oh my god, that is not how you should be trying to cut a potato. Have you not chopped a veggie in your entire life?”

He smiles sheepishly, shrugging his shoulders, “Listen, I don’t do this cooking thing often,” a gentle chuckle leaving him as he takes amusement in your concern, his heart thumping over the sudden proximity you both now shared.

“I-,” you sigh with a baffled expression, “Okay, let me just show you because I am not having you accidentally bleeding out all over my counter.” 

“You’re more worried about your counters than me?”

“Shut up,” you suppress a laugh before softly whispering, “Here, just do it like this,” you reach over and lay your hands atop of his without second thought, guiding him on how to position his hands without the risk of injury. Once you’ve become aware of how your bodies are pressed up against each other from the side, you jump away in an instant, “That’s it! That’s all you gotta do.” You’re quick to avoid eye contact with him, turning towards your own cutting board as you chastise yourself for being so careless with him at that moment.

Hyunjin’s face and ears were soon dusted with a soft pink, heat rushing across his body over the interaction that seemed so natural, but manages to mutter out a quiet ‘thank you’ before trying his knife skills out once more. Despite your momentary embarrassment, you are sure to take sneaky peaks at Hyunjin to make sure he was handling himself well. You move on from chopping and turn your attention to seasoning the chicken while Hyunjin was still focused on the vegetables, going at a leisurely place which you much preferred in this case. 

The rest of cooking goes on in silence aside from the occasional instruction or question, small witty jokes, and touches that seemed to linger more than necessary, but perhaps that was your imagination. Once everything was done, you both sat across from each other, admiring the fruits of your shared labor that was now plated in front of you both. 

“It looks really good!” Hyunjin comments enthusiastically, a wide, toothy grin spreading across his face. 

“It does, right? Let’s eat!”

Neither you miss a beat, taking a huge bite of the udon noodles, letting out a delighted groan over just how flavorful the food was. “Woah,” Hyunjin groans out, surprise at how well tonight had gone thus far with the added victory of food, “Holy shit, this is so yummy.”

“Mhmm,” you mumble out between slurping noodles, “This is better than when I make it on my own.”

“It’s the Hyunjin special that you’ve been missing this whole time,” he says matter-of-factly with a smug smile.

“You’re being pretty bold for a guy who just learned how to hold a knife today,” you tease, playfully sticking your tongue out. Your eyes catch each other for a moment between your fits of giggles, time stopping for the briefest second possible before you both avert your eyes out of nerves. What was that? You thought frantically to yourself, suddenly hyper aware of the strange warmth in your stomach that was also accompanied with the feeling of your stomach dropping. It was an uncomfortable feeling, one you didn’t know how to explain or ever experienced before, but you did know you didn’t want that combination of symptoms again for whatever emotion this was. You clear your throat, taking a sip of water as if it would wash away the discomfort, “I guess we are pretty good, huh? Maybe our acting project has hope if we are able to work this well together,” you joke, a very poor, if not disastrous, attempt to alleviate the awkwardness that seemed to follow you everywhere these days.

Your words stab Hyunjin in the heart, the guilt he had once forgotten was knocking at the door of his heart, forcing itself in without his permission. His entire demeanor deflated the moment those words left your lips, his heart writhing at the reminder that the only reason this situation existed was because of him and his blinding stupidity. Yet, here you are, warmly inviting into your home and treating him as if he was an old friend of the past, as if he had never wounded you and he couldn’t help but wonder if he was deserving of any of this. He stood still, gulping down his food before faintly whispering a hushed apology.

“I’m sorry.”

Your head snaps back up, your eyebrows furrowing with worry once you sense the sadness lacing his trembling voice, his head now turned downwards as if he was trying to mask his state. Perhaps the joke was a little too soon, you thought, now it being your turn to feel bad. “Ah, Hyunjin, I’m sorry-” you apologize hurriedly, “It was just a joke, please don’t take it too seriously. I’m sorry.”

He forces a smile, waving his hand as if to tell you to not worry about it, the words at the forefront of his tongue, but caught in his throat due to the heaviness sinking in his chest. Once again, shame paralyzed his body, the warm sensation behind his eyes reminding him to blink, reminding him he shouldn’t be so selfish in his pain when he was the cause of so much discomfort. Was any of this okay? Was any of this right? He wonders to himself, still unable to find forgiveness within himself. 

“Hyunjin,” you speak tenderly, your hand reaching across the table to touch his arm, grounding him back in the present, “I promise, it’s okay.” You knew that last bit was a lie, but it was for his own sake and comfort at this point. His treatment, his behavior, his attitude – none of it was ever okay, but you decided to ignore your own feelings and prioritize his. For the first time in two years, you cared about how he felt, you finally cared how your words harmed him, when before all you ever aimed for was a strike to his heart, but today, you chose to comfort his heart that your words unintentionally wounded. Although, your own heart and conscience briefly argued for a moment, one wanting to tend to his hurt, while the other demanded you let him rot in his misery, insisting he deserved it for what he had put you through. It was a tug-of-war you weren’t enjoying, you had almost wished you two remained in your heated hatred for one another and that nothing ever changed. Despite what your mind screamed at you, you chose to listen to your heart, you chose him over yourself.

He takes a deep breath in, trying to collect himself before speaking, “I just–,” a heavy exhale escapes him, “I’m just sorry. I just feel really, really, really bad for everything, but I also feel like I’m not allowed to feel bad when I was the one to hurt you.”

His eyes met yours, the glassiness of his eyes conveying the depth of his guilt, “Oh, Hyunjin,” you whisper apologetically, “Listen, I won’t lie to you, what you did was shitty. You did hurt me, but that is in the past. You feeling bad about it means you’re a good person, right? It means you’re human and that you care, but I don’t want you to let your guilt overwhelm you either.”

It was a genuine response in a moment of sudden vulnerability, your response taking him aback, but the words temporarily placating his never ending thoughts, “I guess, but… I don’t know if I can forgive myself,” he mumbles.

“You don’t have to yet, but you can learn to eventually,” you reply, “I understand it’s hard, and even I still need more time to do that myself, but I do think you deserve to be kind to yourself.” None of that was a lie, you did truly believe he was deserving of his own compassion, but his culpability helped you see the humanity in him. The spitefulness you once knew him for nowhere to be found, but instead there was only a guilt-ridden man who carried a world of humiliation. “I think I can learn to do so soon, too. Spending time with you helps. Besides, I did miss being friends with you if I’m being honest.”

The last sentence causes him to perk up, a small, satisfied smile playing onto your lips, “Really?” he asks, his ears barely believing your words, but his heart was swelling with hope. His eyes search yours, he can’t help but notice how they glimmer under the soft lowlights of your home, and for some reason, he finds warmth and comfort in them. He knows he can trust you, he knows you are being as candor as possible.

“Really, I mean it.”

“I missed it too.”

“Well, I’ll do my best to learn to trust you again. I’ll learn to forgive you eventually, just for now, it still hurts.”

“I’m sorry. I’ll learn too.”

⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘

taglist: @kopikokrunch @icouldntcareless22 @kidrauhlschik @hhwangsmoon @lestayzone @vixensss @cupidcures @sleepyxxhead @pinkpunkdynamite @kaiyaba taglist cut off at 20 people :)

[christmasjade]

My thoughts on Married in Red+ My general thoughts on Studio Investigrave !

So I really like this game

It was fun to be able to play it on my own with no help from Youtubers and stuff ^^

The game has 1 ending, though you can have 2 different kinds of game overs lol (I'll get to that later)

The mc (Bok-su) and her relationship with the bride (Da-Jeong) is sad , but not shocking lol. You can kind of tell from the promotional art (and the theme of atonement said in the itch.io description) that Da-Jeong and Bok-Su are not on good terms.

I like that Bok-su was able to get her revenge on Da-Jeong. Obviously her way of doing it is horrible, and the groom (Myeong-hoon) being a main part of her revenge is sad, because he had nothing to do with this.

However, I dont feel that bad for Da-Jeong at all. Yeah, two wrongs dont make a right, and people panic, but she essentially ruined Bok-Su's life and reputation to save her own ass, so I really can't bring myself to feel too bad for her.

Sure you can argue that the situations are different, with Bok-Su purposefully killing Myeong-Hoon meanwhile what Da-Jeong did was a mistake, but I personally am a firm believer of getting your lick back, so 🤗..

I also like how the deaths and reactions are the exact same lmao.

The patient Da-Jeong killed was a man, and his mother said something along the lines of like.. "You killed my son" (I dont exactly remember, depsite me literally just playing LMAOO) and Myeong-Hoons mom literally says the same thing/something adjacting to that too Da-Jeong.

Da-Jeong runs off and during her break down says "I didn't do it-", which is what Bok-Su says when shes retelling the story of what Da-Jeong did to her.

Bok-Su had to goal of getting her payback to make Da-Jeong atone and she accomplished it. And the crazy thing is, despite everything that happened, Da-Jeong never said sorry.

She never said sorry. Not when Bok-Su showed up to the wedding, not when the two of them where alone in the garden, and damn sure not when Da-Jeong had "enough" of Bok-Su being there.

She never said sorry, not even when she pointed the blame onto Bok-Su. In fact, Bok-Su repeats a line that Da-Jeong said to her when (I'm assuming so anyway) the incident happened. Da-Jeong told her that she didnt have anything to worry/be mad about.

The ending of the game, obviously, isnt really a happy ending. Bok-Su gets her revenge and makes Da-Jeong go through what she did but 10× worst. So sure its happy for her,but its still horrific lol

Which is why I love endings for the games that Studio Investigrave makes. With the exception of Cold Front, all of the endings across all the games arent truly happy ever after kind of endings.

With Dead Plate, Rody either has to kill Vincent after finding out his ex was killed and turned into food by him AND after he tried to do the same to Rody.

Yeah Rody makes it out alive, but theres still a horrible and traumatic incident that happened. He knows why Vince did it, and was able to get rid of him, but it doesn't erase the fact that Manon is still dead. (Or with the other ending he leaves the restaurant and never find Manon, because shes in the fridge "missing".)

With Elevator Hitch, the cycle repeats for Protag. When he finally gets the chance to leave the Elevator and the building, hes stopped by some..guy ?? (Who looks like an alternate lmao) and is convinced that he needs the job. The exit doors then open up into the elevator again. He never leaves that building, and is probably stuck in a time loop.

With Eloquent Countenance, Angelica either gets the ritual redone on her by the cult, or is stuck in the cult with the knowledge that shes not the only one in her body. But that she shares it with an angel pretending to be the dead wife of the cults pastor.

Yeah, she lives, but she has to wait until Forcas can fully save her from her possession by said angel. The ending, like Dead Plate and Married in Red, is horrific.

And then with the other ending of Cold Front , if you push Winnie off the stairs, he dies in the crash and Auggie takes his place. It's a happy ending for Auggie, sure, but he never gets the closure or the realization that Winnie was never the wicked and mean person he made him out to be in his head. Its disturbing how content he is with it, with the fact that his former best friend is dead and how he replaces him.

But yeah, erm... the game was fun, 10/10 ^^

[kcalsforhim]

˖⋆࿐໋ thursday 19th of december

⋆˙⟡

can confirm : worst day of my life. i woke up and i told myself, ur so sick and genuinely didn’t sleep at all, today food is your fuel. it’s a sad reality im shameful i really am, but you have to understand i needed to get to college today

at 4:50 am i had breakfast, i took no photos because i felt such deep shame, i was calling with eli and i remember saying that my tray looked like i was in recovery cause of the volume. i wanna cry just thinking about it. i didn’t count cause i knew i would end it all

breakfast :

some leftovers from yesterday, less than yesterday though.

1 slices of bread with chicken meat on it, also had ketchup and mayo.

a banana, 2 lotus cookies, and some kind of other sweet cookie thing

maybe 10 g of paprika potato chips ?

it made me feel bad eating, i actually really didn’t want to. i got dressed 3x slower than usual, everything hurt so bad. soso bad. i tried zipping up my jacket when i left the house and i literally couldn’t and i was so mad it woke my dad up and he zipped it up for me sigh…

i went to school and i fell asleep in the train, haku called me awake tho. i walked so slow haku later told me it actually pissed him off but he knew it couldn’t be helped…

during college i didn’t do much, i coloured some of my animation cause my hands were too shaky to continue on lineart, it all hurt so bad. i watched rupauls drag race with haku, which was funny

i went home and when i was walking i literally felt so terrible , just as terrible as when i fasted for 70 hours or when i started doing 500 cal omad at START WEIGHT.. that was so bad lol

we went to the amazing oriental and i got 2 onigiri’s and a sweet roll thing. the pack had 2 of those so i gave haku one. eli sent me some money so i didn’t feel guilty spending the money lol

then i went home in the train, and afterwards i took the bus cause thank lord himself i already had 10k steps by then and i still did get extra steps cause my busses changed and now the bus that stops the closest to my house is still 10-15 mins away

got home exhausted tired and barely conscious sadly. i had a little autistic meltdown trying to get undressed i literally broke one of the buttons on my jacket mmm..

dinner :

1 tuna onigiri, 1 salmon onigiri, one vanilla cream sweet roll thing

the onigiri’s were so good ! i love eating it super cold it’s delicious. the sweet rolls were like, super fluffy like cloud bread and the cream was so sweeeeet and delicious

dinner 2 :

3 1/8’th slices of pepperoni pizza, 2 kinder bueno sticks

yeah so i only wanted to eat the last kinder bueno we had, it was going to be a long time since i would have those again, im not buying myself anything like that unless my parents or someone else buys it for me of THEIR will, i will not ask anyone for it. but my mom got a bit upset at me and told me she didn’t believe i had food and urged me to grab something so i did i dont know why i didn’t make a fuss

i should’ve flushed it, but i felt so disgustingly defeated.. so i just ate it. i thought “fuck it, i already fucked up enough, might as well eat fucking pizza at this point”

i fell asleep soon after eating that, makeup on, lashes on, contacts in… i woke up at 12 am feeling refreshed. i cleaned my face and took out my contacts and i watched reels until 2 am. i couldn’t stop sending haku reels and he literally said “go to sleep” and i was like ahaha… okaay… so i went to sleep

im kind of disappointed in myself, but i also can’t blame myself. the day before i totally overdid myself running a whole ass marathon and then not getting any sleep it was crazy. i don’t know what possessed me… but. it’s fine. days start fresh i guess.

only the last thigh picture was taken recently, the rest are all just recents, and the before pictures were all taken in the high 70 kgs… 75-79 kg range… it’s all so terrible…

cals : N.V.T but too many sigh

steps : 12.1 k

love her

⋆˙⟡

[dumbass-tumbler-cryptid]

I can see Spider being taken to the Capitol and tortured like Peeta was in Hunger Games 3, it reminds me of Spider being interrogated by Ardmore.

Hey everybody remember the Hunger Games Au i wrote up back in November? I needed to watch the final movie but then I got bronchitis (that took me two months to recover from) and it was also Christmas at the time and I really didn't feel like watching the child murder movies. But I never forgot about this and I finally got around to watching the final movie! So without further ado let's wrap this up.

To the question of what Spider and Kiri would have shown off in individual training, I feel like Kiri would have purposely tanked her's just for fun not even for strategy. She'd see the whole thing as stupid plus she knows her abilities so she's got nothing to prove. the gamemakers though can see what shes doing and give her a 9 to make her more of a target. I can see Spider pulling a Katniss and shooting an arrow right at the gamemakers to make them pay attention then bowing out. Quaritch is only half pissed at him. The other part is so proud. He's even more proud when Spider is awarded an 11.

In interviews they're both just kinda dicks lol. Spider taunts the whole crowd, talks mad shit on Snow, and heckles the fuck out of Flickerman. Kiri is similar just way more sarcastic and petty. So Snow was definitely super pissed when these two won the game.

Moving on to the ending.

I've tossed around a lot of idea's in my head for who gets captured and I had almost settled on it being Neytiri, Ronal and Paz, but that was mainly because I didn't want to hurt any of the kids especially Spider (I hurt that kid enough in Cabin and all I want is good things for him. I really dont want to hurt the moms either or anybody for that matter but this is a Hunger Games au) And yeah it does match actual Avatar canon to have Spider be one of the ones captured so that's what happens. Neytiri and Aonung are also captured.

The families are all incredibly distraught. Paz has a full on meltdown the moment she wakes up in recovery and is told the terrible news. It's her worst nightmare come to life and she completely blames herself for it. Quaritch, who's already inwardly losing his shit over his son but trying to keep it together, internally breaks seeing his wife like that because he's never seen her break before. After Paz is sedated Quaritch goes off to be alone. Spider's capture cases a real strain on their relationship because neither knows how to comfort or emotionally support the other. Paz is so guilt ridden that she doesn't want to be anywhere near her husband feeling intense shame when ever he looks at her. Quaritch doesn't blame her for Spider's capture. He blames himself for not volunteering in his son's place the day of the reaping. the only thing they can manage to do together is plan on saving their son.

Ronal also blames herself for her son's capture but she buries it deep under a wildfire determination to get him back. Tonowari of course wants Aonung back too and is just as determined, he just advocates that they be calm and level headed about their recuse so that they don't lose anyone else.

Jake hasn't felt this powerless in years. He wants to storm the Capital single handed to get his wife back but no one will let him leave. They all look down on him for being in a wheelchair and forget that he was a victor in the Hunger Games once. That he trained his children to be warriors while being paralyzed. But no matter how much he advocates for himself it just falls on the deaf ears of district 13's president. Who i decided is not Grace but General Ardmore.

Ardmore rules over district 13 in a strict but seemingly fair manner. And she is a pretty good leader. She's just extremely power hunger. I'm going to say Ian Garvin is the Heavensbee of this au. He sees right through Ardmore but he does need her to win the war. It's him that convinces her to let Jake, Ronal, Tonowari, Quaritch and Paz into her war room. Jake impresses her with his war strategies ( Don't worry Jake doesn't come up with Gale's plan. That's all Ardmore) and quickly becomes the lead strategist of her army. Tonowari and Quaritch are on the frontlines. They try to convince Ronal and Paz to stay back but Paz brushes them off with a bitter, "I have nothing left to lose," and Ronal snaps, "i will fight!"

The Capital starts airing interviews with their clearly brainwashed hostages. Paz's shriek silences the entire cafetiere when she sees her son on the t.v. His wild mane of curls now fall neatly around his chin, brushed out of his face like a perfect little gentleman. It shows off how sunken his cheeks have gotten. how hollow and dead his eyes looks. His once tan skin is now pale, made to look even paler by the snow white suite they've dressed him to hide his thin frame. "what would you like to say to your friends and family right now Spider?" "Kiri? Mama? Dad?," Quaritch is trying to hold Paz up as she openly sobs for her child for all of district 13 to see, "please stop. This isn't you. Your good people that would never betray the country. Just stop fighting and come home please."

Aonung get's the exact same treatment dresses up and paraded around on t.v like the Capital's little pet, begging his mom and dad to surrender. Ronal cracked a tooth from clenching her jaw so hard in rage and Tonowari put a hole in the wall when no one was looking.

Neytiri is also brought out, her braids are taken out, hair straightened within an inch of its life. she's dressed in a tasteful white cocktail dress, with a white rose tucked behind her right ear. when she's asked "what would you like to say to your husband right now." She says, "my Jake," there's a long pause, a whole war going on behind her amber eyes before she finally chokes out, "end them." the broadcast instantly cuts off.

And the kids in all this? Since I don't really have a mockingjay singled out among the bunch, I'm gonna say they're all kinda the mockingjay. They're the kids who survived. The ones who have to now live with the horrors inflicted on them by the capital. As I was typing this I actually thought it'd fit Neteyam to make a shrine for one of his competitors like Katniss did for Rue. He bonded with a little girl that was Lo'ak's age at the time but reminded him a lot of Tuk. When she died it was like he could see both of his siblings dying with her and it utterly gutted him. He honored her in front of all of Panem and for it everyone loves him.

Kiri is beloved for her definice. It inspires so many others to stand up and fight.

Lo'ak feels ashamed for what happened to his mother and is very candid about it. He talks openly about how he felt so inadequate compared to his "hero" parents and brother. But he understands now that underneath all the pageantry and splendor of the Capital is a absolutely vile core that needs to be ripped out so that they all can finally know peace.

Tsireya is a medic in this like Prim was. Her and Lo'ak start up a romance because they trauma bond over a family member being held hostage.

Tuk is there but she's just too little to really do anything.

And finally Grace in all this plays a similar roll as the mayor from district 8. She just had this lightbulb moment after having Kiri that her daughter would never know peace as long as there tyrannical government stayed in power. She wanted to take Kiri with her but she got word that a sickness was spreading through 13 that was killing all the children. Kiri and her have a lot to work through but Kiri doesn't get angry with Grace for wanting to fight for a better world. Kiri still grew up healthy and happy with her adopted family and soon all of them would be able to live freely and safely in the world they'll create.

Finally the opportunity arrives to save the hostages. Norm is able to hack the system giving a volunteer strike team an opening. the team is made up of Quaritch, Paz, Ronal, Tonowari and Neteyam. It goes off without a hitch. I want to say that unlike in the movie/book where Snow actually just let them go that in this au the strike team was actually just that good and got in and out without anyone noticing. The families all hold each other all the way home the only sounds coming from their cries of relief.

Also none of them are brainwashed to try and kill a loved one. They are severely traumatized though. Their tortures goes as follows and you can skip to the next paragraph if you’d rather not read this. Spider was made to see horrific fantasies under trackerjacker venom to the point where it’s hard for him to tell what’s real anymore. He’s jittery and anxious all the time and panics easily. He flinches if someone raises a hand too fast and that includes his own parents who are both devastated for their son and enraged that the capital would hurt their boy so badly he couldn’t even trust his own mom and dad anymore. Kiri helps Spider through it playing “real or not real,” something she tells Quaritch and Paz about to better manage Spiders dissociative episodes when she’s not around. Aonung was given electric shocks in water now making him fear it. Even seeing a few drops of water is enough to make him shake. This hurts his whole family to see since the ocean is the core of there cultural identity. Ronal and Tonowari want to burn the entire capital down to nothing for the crime against humanity they’ve inflicted on their son. It takes so much time but his parents and sister start with coaching Aonung through the breathing mediation he’d do as a small child when he was first learning to swim putting his mind at ease by reciting the way of water with him. Once he doesn’t freak out seeing so much as a cup of water they slowly get him to interact with it again first with a very shallow bath (basically a puddle) building until his family is lovingly coaxing him into a pool. He panics at first but swimming is like breathing to him and surrounded by so much love and support he eventually calms. Neytiri was given a drug that made the simplest touch feel like excruciating pain. She knows it was just the chemicals they pumped into her veins but she can’t help but flinch every time one of her children hugs her, her breath catching in her throat. She puts on a brave face and holds her children despite how much it makes her heart race. The only one she talks about this with is Jake. They do their own form of real or not real where he’ll brush his fingertips over her arm so so gently he’s almost not touching her at all and ask, “pain or no pain,” until Neytiri can retrain her mind to not associate every minor touch with pain.

After they take time to recover it’s decided that a strike team will be sent out to assassinat Snow. There’s no way in hell any of the parents will let there kids go on this mission so it’s all the adults. Maybe it's just because I love all these characters and don’t want to kill them off but I’m going to say they’re all so good that they outmaneuver every capital trap and survive Ardmore’s bombing of civilians but if I was going to kill people off here's how I’d do it…

Tonowari meets the same fate as Boggs killed in a trap.

Quaritch is overwhelmed by mutts like Finnick was. Paz shoots him herself to put him out of his misery

Neteyam is killed in the second wave of bombings. He snuck out of 13 with the medics because he wanted to give aid to the civilians hurt in the war.

I also had the very evil idea of Neteyam getting sent to the group like Peeta was for some reason, and him being injured in the same trap that killed Tonowari and Neytiri staying with him while the rest move on only for them both to die when the building their hiding in is bombed and then Tsireya dies trying to give medical aid to civilians but good god is that devastating for me to think about.

But it’s a good thing none of that happens! So Ardmore gathers all the past hunger games victors to discuss Snow’s public execution and to float the idea of a hunger games with the capitals children. They are all equally horrified because they’ve all been through so much and just want peace. The kids all speak out but the parents stay quiet all silently thinking the same thing. This bitch has got to go.

All the victors are lined up with bows and arrows to execute Snow in front of the whole country. Only half of the arrows pierce him though. They other half sail right into Ardmore’s chest. Grace is later elected president. Kiri is constantly going from the Sully’s place to Grace’s to Spider’s. Spider and his parents live in a cottage in a peaceful meadow where he continues his recover. His mom is kind of smothering now still recovering from the trauma of losing her son but he knows it’s all love. When he’s in a better place he decides to travel and see the new world. Ronal and Tonowari are surprised to learn they’re expecting but it’s a happy surprise. They can’t wait to bring their third into a peaceful world. Tsireya continues her medical training and Aonung becomes a sailor. He just feels at peace out on the ocean. Jake is basically Graces Vice President and Neytiri is basically the secretary of infrastructure working to rebuild every district. Neteyam, Lo’ak, and Kiri are the leads on construction on a memorial for all the children slaughtered in the games. Everyone is their on opening day. It’s seeing the memorial that really brings peace to all of them. It’s not only a testament to those killed, but a marker that all the horror is now over.

Hope you all enjoyed the long awaited part 2! I’d love to know your thoughts 💙

[cryptidclaw]

FINALLY someone who sees Squirrelflight the same way I do, not as the saint the fandom makes her out to be, but a character whose in the wrong and needs to get her shit together. I'm sorry but she and Brambleclaw have issues sure, but Bramble isn't just the one in the wrong. The fandom treats him like he's the devil (they treat Ashfur the same way, when I personally think his arc was interesting taking into account he found his mother as dog bait when he was a child and was basically left parentless, he and ferncloud took it very differently, fern going and becoming a mother to everyone and Ash trying to find love somewhere else and then getting rejected. Did he take it too far yeah, he did ofc but it's interesting to look at the psychology behind it) this fandom treats Squirrel and Leaf like their saints and can do no wrong but from where I see it. . .they cause plenty of the problems. Like why didn't they tell bramble about the three? How hard would that have been to tell squirrels mate, someone she trusts, what's going on?

since we talking about the morality/ goodness of Squirrelflight and Leafpool (and Brambleclaw and Ashfur) now I thought I would group these together and just ramble about Squirrel and Leafpool for a bit

I personally think that Squirrelflight and Leafpool are good people who had to make hard decisions that would inevitably hurt people in the hopes of protecting each other and their loved ones.

These two live in basically a cult and had to do some crazy shit to protect Leaf and her kits, and I don't blame them for what they chose to do in the situation they were put in. Were there ways that could have possibly been better? Ya probably, but they aren't evil for choosing to do what they did.

Also Squilf hurt the 3 by not telling them they were adopted, but also I feel like that's where her crimes end. Like Brambleclaw has been shown to be an abusive prick so I wouldn't blame Squirrel for not wanting to tell him the truth, especially when he's Thunderclan's deputy. I have a hard time believing he would have gone along with their plan, and he probably would have done something cruel and stupid if they told him. Yes him finding out did hurt him so I guess that's a crime in a way, but i really dont think Squirrel had any other options in that department.

I think out of Squirrel and Leaf, leaf is much more in the wrong here (love her and her bad decisions tho hehe). She had like some of the most illegal babies ever due to some really bad decisions (even if its unfair that her relationship was illegal) and then she let her sister take on most of the responsibility of dealing with her mistakes. Squirrelflight could have had a chill scandal-less life, but instead she took in her sister's kits and lied to the clan and her mate all to protect Leaf, when it wasn't even her problem and Leaf didn't stop her. Leaf didn't take on much responsibility for her mistakes, she just let Squif do that. I understand why but still if there's anyone to be mad it its Leaf and her bad decision making skills lol

I really love how complex their situation is, its probably one of the most interesting things that has happened in warriors. Its complicated, and the characters involved are good people who made bad decisions, and hard decisions. They wanted to protect the people they loved and it inevitably failed. I love a good tragic drama.

these two sisters are some sad soggy meow meows

I could go on even longer but I wont, could prob expand on Leafpool opinions too but i shall stop here.

[sirensea14]

Now listen 'ere partner, I'mma need that list or mayhem songs 🤠 also I'd love to know more, I've always loved weird ships that come out of nowhere with little to no possibility of it even being considered ( evident by my Marcus x cup ship, I actually don't know where that one came from) and I always love learning about them and why they happened :33

Wait-wait-wait--WHAT??!! SO YOU'RE TELLING ME THERES SOMEONE OUT THERE WHO SHIPS MARCUS AND CUPHEAD? 😨 Now thats... quite cursed... didnt even know that exists...

But anyway here's the songs with some explanation

Bendy songs:

Instruments of Cyanide (DAGames)

My favorite bendy song, i had different versions of this song as an animatic for inky mystery (i want to animate it but i dont have enough skills to do it yet and its quite long) but there's this one particular version in my head where in WitchBrew was singing chorus 1, Mayhem and Not-Cup had their hands as if spinning the cog with Cuphead and Holly on it.

This is the art for it.

Behind the curtain (squigglydigg)

(Watch the mv first so u can get what im saying lol)This one is where Cuphead is henry and alice angel was holly-turning-to-mayhem. Mayhem taunts cuphead about the fact that he didnt manage to save holly from the cog

Alice's Tango (You will be mine) by chi chi

Literally just Mayhem dancing tango with Not-cup. He might be newly possessed since i imagined this with him having a bitter expression. (Compared to the art ones where he is smiling af lol) But yea, but him frowning or smiling and dancing with mayhem is still him dancing with mayhem, no matter whoch expression you or i choose lol

All eyes on me (squigglydigg's verison)

I love the og one, Or3o's version, but the og one's for sarah, it had some sweet evil girl tone in it. Whereas Squigglydigg's ver had Alice with a kind of that evil woman voice which is suiting mayhem. Its about her capturing the questers, tying them to a chair and make them watch her sing as they show her that they suppressed her from the cog. Cuphead manages to escape (Oh no no no no babe, hey!;- this is the part of the song where she caught cuphead loose from his ties) and i then she becomes insane as she sing and captures him back while pointing at him, blaming him for uhh everything...? *shrugs* lol

Are you proud of me now? (DAGames)

Ah yes, also one of my favorite songs. This is about holly and cuphead pulling the cog in replacement of audrey and the ink machine in DAGames mv. They bury the pressure that is put on them the the bg figures (Holly: bendy, fanny and cuphead. Cuphead: vicious,fanny, holly and mayhem) and then Mayhem is trying to pull Cuphead into madness when a memory ball revealed that holly is mayhem that is fully influenced by the cog. Cuphead back steps as mayhem is trying to get at him.

Lemme tell ya bud, giving this into detail is quite hard, but i told ya this the best that i can

Now onto the non-bendy songs!

Show yourself (frozen 2)

Hehe, quite weird to see a disney song here eh? XD but basically, this song is about Holly discovering the powers of the cog and some runes in some kind of old hidden Micco Cave. She followed the light where it leads her to Lukahd singing her and transforming her into Mayhem. The questers appeared at the end of the song and Mayhem raind down a cloud of runes she summoned. Cuphead was left flabbergasted at what happened. Alice's angel runes and bendy's demon magic protects them from the attack.

A sad song (we the kings)

This one is based from the Gala heartbreak. Holly goes into full mayhem which makes cuphead heartbroken as she shows bloodlust. But we also get to see Holly's pov which is cuphead laugh off and having fun with fanny and walking away from her as they talk.

And heres the most heartbreaking part; mayhem holds cuphead in a chokehold with her magic as she floats on her broom. Cuphead looks at her with teary eyes, but Mayhem showed no remorse. She was smiling ear to ear as she watched him in pain. Her memory of being holly and messing with the jokester cuphead is vanishing. She chose to ignore those aching memories because of the pain he caused.

Enchanted (taylor swift)

Aint a swiftie but ngl this song is amazing. Perfect for colly heartbreak. Again, this is based from the gala. Also goes along with the storyline of A Sad Song. But this is more on holly's pov tho. This also includes some moments from the gala, when she spied on the cupbros (cuphead hung her on a tree) etc. and then shifts to mayhem attacking cuphead with regrets carved on his glassy eyes.

All of this is kinda hard to get into detail, i tried my best and thats it. Hope u understand my explanations😅

Meanwhile, heres a WitchBrew song but them in a fight:

Devil's Gambit (fnf: indie cross)

Yes, you read that right, an fnf song XD

This one's cool cuz i imagine Notcup having a bit of characteristics from Nightmare Cuphead's form (indie cross).

Kind of like this.

I imagine him assisting Mayhem of defeating the Questers cuz they were on a hunt for them during the song. Mayhem unleashing her most horrifying abilities and Cuphead shooting blazing hot pink bullets. He still has all of the potion bullets like the chaser, lobber and peashooter etc, its just in pink.

Or possibly theyre fighting sarah, instrument boris and the night terror cuz sarah considered mayhem (and possibly notcup) as anomalies.

Welp, i think ive got it all covered up lol. A LOT was running in my head back then when i was a silent fan.

Holy cuss its 11:30 pm XD i should wash myself now cuz its getting quite late (imstillnotsleepyhelpandimhungry)

Im still wondering how tf did someone got the nerve to ship marcus and cuphead💀

[louisisalarrie]

https://www.tumblr.com/louisisalarrie/767017476313808896/i-dont-think-hes-very-proud-of-the-way-his-fans?source=share

different things tho.

his fans believe things he says.

harrys fans dont give a fuck abot any tpwk. its a common harrie joke to say "tpwk is for harry, not us" they revel in their cruelty.

not saying this is on harry at all. just saying his fans donot have any limits about being cruel.

wait they’ve said “tpwk is for harry, not us”!?!????? ok im gonna have to start getting in fights on Twitter now Christ that hasn’t been on my resumé for about 10 years now lol

seriously tho, I think it would be a game changer if he said something. I mean, I’d prefer him to action it, and hang out with the boys/follow them on Insta at least Christ but while that’s still weirdly put away to the side for now, I think the best he can do is words. but he’s avoiding pretty much all social media at all costs at the moment, which is very fair.

of course at this time the boys are very MIA which is fantastic and I hope they’re all well, but genuinely they’ve all kind of stepped back from social media. the majority of louis and niall’s instagrams are just tour photos from each night. it’s just… they are afraid to be vulnerable and personal on their accounts now. everything these dudes do is under the highest fucking scrutiny, particularly harry.

Can you imagine the state the fandom will be in if he follows the boys on Insta? Harries scrambling saying “it was an accident his finger slipped a bunch of times because he was drinking a pina colada and the condensation dripped on his screen and did it for him but he’s too kind to admit it was an accident and unfollow them” or whatever shit they wanna spew. Even something so small as that, there will be articles about it. He’ll be asked about it in interviews, hints of a 1d reunion spread throughout the industry, just… everything. It’s gonna be a whole massive thing.

However

Him doing stuff like this, will not overshadow his career. He is an established solo artist in his own right to a degree that if he followed them, it wouldn’t take away so much from his own career, so he should do it. It’s not gonna pull as much attention away from his solo stuff as it might with niall & Lou. I think it would be a sick “fuck you” to all the hairballs. He should be making moves like this. But his team are fucking tight, I’ll tell you that much. Those losers don’t wanna lose a CENT. if they think him starting to hang out with the boys WILL in fact pull attention away from him, make fans leave, WHATEVER they will strongly advise against it. I highly encourage it. It would make him look less like “he’s too good for 1d” which doesn’t even fucking align with his image right now (and obviously himself).

personally, I also think that those same harries that are so awful and so far up Harry’s arse would clean out their twitters from all the awful shit and act like they’ve been supportive all along if he decided to start posting about the boys/publicly going to their gigs/following them because they want so desperately for harry to like them. if harry was active on social media, they’d pull their fucking socks up. but they aren’t getting repercussions for their actions. they’re getting away with it because pretty much every other part of the overall 1d/solo fandom fucking hate them, and disengage from their shit.

but anyway, repercussions don’t exist in here from harry. He can’t jump on Twitter and say “hey guys, please all be nice to each other” or something of the sort because he already kinda tried that with TPWK and it didn’t work. So if he directed it more as like… a blame thing to his fans a lot of them would get mad and start blaming us anyway. But as I said earlier, it would be a game changer in terms of artist to fan dynamics/relationship and the evidence of social media

there’s no wins here though. I don’t know how to get through to them.

sorry for the weird and long rant lol

drink = 1, louisisalarrie = 0

[baldurs-kinfessions]

(its 3rd person karniss vibes) just remembered how he was turned into a drider and . oogh warning for just generally depressing things?

definitely solidified my theory that kar’niss is MUCH MUCH younger than he looks, because he was turned into a drider as a late adolescent. he was (in simple terms) and albino drow in menzoberranzen, and therefore held in very high political regard, but he failed the trials of lolth because he was so socially isolated he had little to no drive to work hard. then got drider-ed and the rejection from his goddess combined with the madness made him a very easy target for the absolute cult. ooooogh

also off topic but something about being Labelas has made memories of my karnisss heart type easier to remember? something something archivist, probably, although im not sure if i was present for the events of BG3 or not. i dont particularly remember anything about a cult, which most gods seemed to at least know of the absolute, but theres also a non zero percent chance i just did not care because i had more pressing matters on hand. also, someone used that name to refer to me a day or so ago and i couldve ran up the wall i got so happy.

also mod note you dont have to tag labelas because theres literally nothing under that tag anyways lol. he’s a dnd god so please let me know if i shouldnt talk about that here but i think its fine since i only mentioned myself in relation to the events of bg3. i’ll stick to labelas posting on my main account dont worry lol

what a doozy of a confession. so many thought trains…. i blame the coffee

#🕷️🏮⁉️

🐙

[that-fandom-writer]

3000+ words of chenford

Is this going  to be a long ass post about all the different things i have noticed about Tim and Lucy over 5 seasons? yes do i expect people to read all of it? eh probably not lol, am i gonna write it anyway because i just need to get it all outta my head? yes lol also some of it might be outta order of when it happened lol 

ok so heres the thing. it alll started in the first episdoe if you really think about it, the fact that they saw Isobel and she covered and didnt tell anyone a damn thing about it. then the fact that he was shot and she dragged him to cover to get him safe all that happened her first day on the job, and i think that with both of those things happening they both knew they were gonna be a good team, there was a trust there. tim was in a dark place when lucy came into the picture. 

she went to Isobels apartment for him to check it out, she went to her apartment in the middle of the night ot talk him about of taking the drugs out, she knew even only being on the job with him for a few weeks at that point, she knew that he had a code, and he had principles and wouldnt wanna live with that later. 

he started giving her pep talks when she didn’t even realize she needed them. when she got poked with the dirty needled at the homeless compound, the way he had her back in the hospital and the way he talked her off the ledge that she was on that day. 

the fact that when he started to study for his sargents exam, she convinced him he needed a hobby and they went paintballing together on their time off 

the audio books the fucking audio books the fact that she figured out he learns by listening, and then the fact that she went out of her way to talk to isobel about him, and then went out of her way to record the book on the mmp3 player for him so that he would be able to listen to it and learn the book 

There is also the fact when the rookies had to complete their lists he went out of his way to make sure she got her list, he even stayed for overtime, and yeah he would have said at the time that it was because “shes MY rookie if she fails it looks bad on me” but i truly think that even then he wanted her to succeed for herself he knew even then that she had something deep inside her that she would figh through any of it 

the day that they crashed the rigged car, he was looking at getting in trouble, but she went out of her way and spent the entire day trying to clear his name to ensure that he would not get in trouble 

 the quarantine there was the fact that as soon as he was coughed on he closed the door to protect her from it, there was the fact that she stayed and was concerned the entire time. the fact that they talked the entire tiem, and then she went in the ambulance with him, and covered his body with her own when the ambulance was getting shot at,

the abduction- he blamed himself so much for her getting taken, (that also shows how great his friendship with Lopez is and i LOVE their friendship as well) anyway the way he did everything he could to find her, then when they found her, the way he literally dug with his bear hands to get her out, and then he did the compressions, he did mouth to mouth he LITTERALLY brought her back to life, he stayed in her hospital room all night until she woke up (yeah i know he said he wasnt there all night but we all know lol) and then how he knew to have her food ready for her, i just loved every part of that 

when he gives her the ring back, but more so the pep talk he gives her before that, like the whole “that tattoo is a  sign your a survivor” 

 how worried he gets about her when she goes undercover, deep down hes afraid of what happen to Isobel, it worries him, and when Angela tells him about the little freak out she had and angela tells him “dont go on Tim on me” i think at that point is wher Angela knew something because Tim wouldnt get that protective over some one he doesnt care about 

Emmit - so there was the time that Tim yelled at Lucy and Emmit was defending her and she was mad at Emmit for that lol. but he was trying to protect her. or the night in the car when he was saying that he pushed her right at caleb and she almost died, and then she todl him it wasnt his fault, th look on his face when she said that was like a part of him thought she blamed him and they way she said “i wouldnt ask if i didnt value your opinion” and how right after that he went straight into his insulty sarcasm “you can do much better”

the pranks all the pranks (ill go more into details about the radio tho)

the way he gave up the promotion for her

 he goes tougher on her because he knows she can handle it. 

 her last day as a Rookie when he says “youve been lucky on the job, wait that isnt fair you have dealt with things that would have broken veteran cops” he kknows how strong she is and he is starting to get more comfortable telling her that 

the first wedding Lopez and Wesley, the looks they exchanged, the fact that Grey and Harper had that “its only a matter of time” look on their faces when she excused her self and went to Tim, the way he said “save me a dance”

 the way the night jackson died, he made sure she wasnt alone, a lot of people assume they would have possibly gotten somewhere that night had he not gotten the call he did, however i dont think he would have, i think deep down he wanted to, i think he had feelings for her, but he wouldnt wanna do anything in that moment because of how vulnerable she was that night 

*yes this is outta place but again I already mentioned that would happen lol* anyway when the team went down to find Angela, she stayed behind but she was so worried and concerned about him when he was there yes she was on the phone with him but pretty sure she knew it was on speaker and she made it a point to say Tim becareful not just for everyone

 The way that she helped him through his childhood issues with his dad without even really trying. The look on his face when she said “tim tests” when Genny mentioned the time their dad dropped him off and made him find his way home, Tim looked upset, like almost as upset as he did when he thought that he was to blame for her abduction.  Like he was upset and hurt when he thought even for a second that Lucy was comparing him to his dad. And then how she had no problem using her day off to help at the house. She had no issue going to the hospice house when he confronted his dad one last time. And then the hug outside the in the hallway the look on his face when he said “the tim tests those don’t make me like him” like all he wanted was for her to know that he wasn’t that person, he wasn’t his dad

 The way he had no issue taking Kojo, the way they still talk about him from time to time. The way he told Ashley that he kept the dog for Lucy. Or when Ashley called Lucy about Kojo and the way she said that the is a lot like tim “big and tough on the outside but deep down hes a real sweetheart”

Her fake confession of feelings, how he was all speechless and wasn’t sure how to let her down, and then when she started laughing, and he seemed legit offended that she would do that

 THE DOUBLE DATE THE FUCKING DOUBLE DATE like do I even have to go into detail about why that was as awesome as it was for Chenford fans lo

The dance at Harpers wedding. Th way he told her she deserved to be recognized and he wants her to have a nice and long career and how his eyes said “and ill do anything l make that happen”

The way he told her “don’t let anyone tell you that you cant do something, not even me”

The start of the undercover that episode where they meet Dim and Juicy, when they are then at her apartment to go over everything and practice being a couple the look on his face when she gives her ida for the back story

 The air plane, they were undercover flirty because they had to, and then they found out about Roslind, and he puts his hand over hers to comfort her, and we all know that it was Tim comforting Lucy at that rate and the way he made an excuse to get her alone to check on her, and then the way she pulled him in for a kiss even though she could have just messed up his hair and and shirt a little bit

At the table when he confirms with Angela and shes solid, he trusts her and je trusts her judgment the hotel room, how he is speechless seeing her naked back, he confronts her about the kisses not feeling pretend (at that rate im sure they were not pretend for him) then he tells her that shes good at the under cover stuff, I think in that moment he realizes that she wouldn’t be a repeat of Isobel

When they fight off 3 dudes with guns by themselves without guns and with tim being tied and Lucy being in a robe, that was just a sign of the way they are both bad asses. Lol

When he walks her up to her apartment when they got back, the way they were talking about how what happenes under cover stays under cover and then she invited him in, that right there was when she 100% knew she has feelings for him, and I think he knew at that point as well because while yes he hesitated he still walked in.  we can also add the fact that he was annoyed at first  when Chris was there.

The talk in the hallway about him telling her she needs to do the UC school. He knows its good for her, it was him telling her that really pushed her to go, Chris had already told her, Nyla had already told her, but it was when Tim told her when it really pushed her, tho that conversation with tim asl broke her a little bit, you could see it, but I think it also broke him, I don’t think he wanted to push her away, I think he thought that some distance was for the best for them at that point in time

The fact that it was Tim who realized that she was radio silent, he was the one who saved her when they got there, he didn’t ask Aaron to help didn’t say shit to arron for that matter just went straight at the door and did everything he could to pull the door open and ger her out of ther e

The episode where Bailey gets trapped in the tank, the entire time she was having PTSD triggers but she was trying to hide it, but he saw them and that’s why he didn’t wanna be too far from her at any given point, he was trying to protect her even if no one realized it, she didn’t even realize it, like the “no youre not going down there its too dangerous there could be more traps let me go instead” and he did not have to give her his duty belt lol and then the look they shared the entire time he was going down

While he was in the hospital, the way she made him go in the first place, t he way she wouldn’t take no for an answer about him going. Then when he was there and he was like “yes give me surgery” and she was like well wait what are the risks like she cared more about that than anyone else in the room then there was also when he fell he didn’t want any one to tell her because he knew she would worry because he knew if it was reverse he would be worried about her. Then when she got to the hospital and he didn’t tell her right away about him and Ashley, he told her to slow her role the fact that they had their normal dynamic, or the little smirk on his face when she said “I know” about staying to keep him company

The radio, the fact that she knew he would figure out that she was the one who had it, based on the clues, because they both know they know each other that well. And then the banter between them when he first tries to get it back from her, “is it pay back for how I treated you as a rookie” and then the sigh he told her it was nothing simply because he knew he couldn’t lie and keep saying he was fine. And then when he finally did tell her, the exchange they had about it, and how she was like “I should know better than to get in your personal business” ike girl please stop acting like you aint in that mans business all the damn time any way lol but also its like then he told her, and told her that he did appreciate it and that it was helpful, which was her goal all along anyway

The under cover opp, Tim KNOWS lucy can handle herself and is good at UC but he also WAS very concerned about her, and he knew that what Aaron said had a little truth behind, it, it wasn’t willingly trying to hurt the kid or anything like that but he would do whatever he could to help Lucys career

The conversation in the shop all day, they talked about having feelings for eachother without really talking about it like that, they talked about Chris, she knows Chris is a good person, she likes being around him and everything like that but she isn’t in love with him and they both know it. I don’t know if tim knows at that point that is because she is in love with him, but he knows at that point that he is in love with lucy. The way Chris cant read a damn room, and called her about a house in he middle of the bombs happening and everything, and tim can SEE that Lucy doesn’t wanna have the conversation with Chris and gives her an out. Tim doesn’t hate Chris, but he also knows that Lucy isn’t as happy as she deserves to be.

The conversation out side the station, she started it yes, but I think deep down he wanted to ask her out all day and was just waiting until he could gauge a little more. And then when she mentiones that their relationship is the most important one in her life he gets the confirmation that he needs to go ahead and ask her out.  The nervous look on his face before he asks, and then the huge smile on his face after she says yes. But then when she had to sya no because she wanted to end things with Chris the right way, but then she tells him to ask her again later, like she wants him to know, that she does indeed wanna go on a date with him and give them a shotshe just wants to be a single woman when they do

In the office when he asks how the break up is going, and then tells her what to do, and then asks her if shes having second thoughts, because he doesn’t wanna pressure her into it he wants it to be her idea and he wants her to want him the way he wants her. The way he says “good” and smiles when she says she isn’t having second thoughts or just the way that Chris knows that Tim knows Lucy so well he asks his opinion lol

 And then the office after the Chris break up. The way she went straight back to the station to be able to talk to him right away, she wanted to make sure he knew right away that she was single and was able to be his now. The way when she said she talked to Chris he got up to talk to her, and then the little joke because that was simply them and the “don’t make me hurt you” because that was also so much them, and then the way he asked her nd the smiles when she said yes.

I can not wait til they finally get to go on their date, it does say there will be complications but like I think we all knew there would be complications but I truly, truly believe that the writers will be smart enough to let them happen because the fans will riot and they will loose ratings if Chenford gets too fucked over lol

[timlets]

warrior cats aus ideas

crowflight au (even though it's more feathertail based)(everyone lives au lol): feathertail and stormfur are able to kill sharptooth without either of them dying(idk how). feathertail and crowpaw are able to go back to the clans. crowflight goes back to windclan and is named "crowflight" for the journey he traveled...feathertail comes back to riverclan and she is pregnant. when they travel on the journey they stop in the tribe of rushing water where feathertail has two or three kits :-) stormfur decides to stay in the tribe with brook and feathertail is happy he found a place for himself, and feathertail has her kits now and she will miss her brother but she knows riverclan is where she's meant to be.. in this au leafpool and crowflight still become involved(which might have driven feathertail to cat-divorce crowflight because she is so upset heartbroken understandably(she still loves him)... crowflight later goes to nightcloud too so the three and breezepelt are all born...) idk it makes me sad that feathertail didn't get to have a full life i've always been sad about that but i know it's supposed to be sad

nightleaf au (nightcloud leafpool lesbians): nightcloud has always been upset with thunderclan and she hated leafpool when she met her when the badgers attacked thunderclan... she hates thunderclan's whole "main character" trope and of course she is mad at leafpool over crowfeather. many moons later when it's revealed about hollyleaf jayfeather lionblaze, nightcloud is shocked and furious but finds herself blaming crowfeather because he did the same thing to her in abandoning them while they had kits.. nightcloud's heart aches for leafpool and she doesn't like that it makes her uncomfortable that she feels for her despite everything..nightcloud and leafpool talk one night after a gathering has disbanded and nightcloud almost tries to start a fight with leafpool but leafpool is patient and kind and nightcloud breaks she just cries like "how can you be so kind to me? i've only ever been horrible to you. why won't you be mad at me?" and she's snarling in self disgust that she's been so rude to her all their lives because she wanted crowfeather but she realizes now that crowfeather isn't exactly a catch lol. leafpool looks at her softly with a smile "kindness is my nature i won't apologize for that." and nightcloud chokes like "i dont want you to apologize but i dont understand how you can be so forgiving when this world has treated you so horribly...you should be mad life isn't fair and you had to give your kits away. you only wanted to have a family it's not wrong.. you should be mad at me for being a part of ruining your life." and nightcloud is shaking and leafpool blinks like "nightcloud, i could never be upset with you. i hold too much respect for you, and i understand how i must seem to you... taking away your life with crowfeather-" "he's nothing to me. i only respect him as a warrior and deputy...i lost love when he failed in helping to raise breezepelt." and leafpool sits next to nightcloud and wraps her tail around her and nightcloud chokes on her sobs surprised and leafpools like "you only wanted to love crowfeather and have a family. we really are more similar than you might realize. i want you to know, nightcloud, that i could never be upset with you. i understand." and they become besties after that nightcloud defending leafpool from critical cats and trying to get leafpool to understand that she has a voice too...she can fight back... IDK I JUST KEPT WRITING BUT I WANT TO MAKE A COMIC :-)

my favorite pairings idgaf leafpool/mothwing, leafpool/nightcloud, hollyleaf/cinderheart, dovewing/idk dovewing should have a girlfriend i think, sunbeam/lightleap, feathertail/IDK SHE SHOULD HAVE A GIRLFRIEND I THINK, squirrelflight needs a girlfriend. Asap. daisy.....? bristlefrost/rootspring(rootspring is bristlefrost's girlfriend) im absolutely positive im missing a ton of cats i like together.. this is leafpool's world we're just living in it

here's my leafpool nightcloud drawing. :-)

[renamusing]

Wait

When is the ssw for emmerdale. I

know Ian used to give out spoilers like crazy noe he is back do we know the what the theme is about.

Danny coming back after the team was so done with them during the covid era makes ZERO sense but he also has a kid and I can't even blame him for wanting an stable job. Even if is this. He has not control over any of this after all.

But the fucking use of "a prodigal son" over that guy makes me so mad.

The next thing is that every single Dingle will adore him and have xmas eith him as if Robert is not the reason Aaron is still alive.

I hate it so much. Is like the open the wounds that we all have and people are more than ever asking about why ROBERT is not back instead of this.

It does feel like John is reboot-Robert minus everything special Ryan added to the character plus the great writing he got back then (thanks Maxine).

As for this year's super soap week, I don't think anything has been announced yet. The only thing that is known so far is that a major portion of the cast has filmed scenes concerning a big barn fire a few weeks ago (apparently John saves Moira and Ruby's lives, i dont remember more than that, only that Charity, Cain and Chas will be there too, which fits in with what you said about John being welcomed by the Dingles later on lol).

The thing is, I'm not sure whether the filming dates of the barn fire will match with ssw or if the barn fire will be a prelude to whatever happens then? It was also announced that Nate's actor will leave the show, so some people suspect he will die in those ssw eps, and there's also talk of something big happening with belle&tom, though according to the latest interview with one of the producers, their coercive control story will run until the end of the year.

I'm still looking forward to whatever comes, mainly bc John's actor said there were many twists and turns to come and every news piece leading up to his arrival mentioned a return of the Sugdens, so I believe John's appearance is only the start. Maybe Diane will return, maybe some Sugden-adjacent characters like the Merricks, or even Kathy Glover like some rumours suggested.

I've read a few theories recently about how John isn't actually Jack's son but rather the son of Jack's brother Joe, since Joe was romantically linked to John's alleged mother Barbara and also Karen Moore (who was also Jack's girlfriend for a time) which might explain the Aiden Moore dogtags.

Tbh, if John's character wasn't so dull and his romance with Aaron so contrived, I think we would all be having a wonderful time right now. Unfortunately, we gotta work with what we have. Plus the absence of hermit Hawley 😔🙄