#and he immediately goes 'oh god NO'
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So im kinda binge watching Markiplier's 3 Scary Games, right?
And in #40 he quips, "maybe I'm not even real"
And I was like, "yeah who knows, I've never seen you in real life lol"
And then I remembered
I HAVE seen Mark irl
I went to his show! In 2018!
Good times. There was a blizzard on the drive home lmao
#random#Markiplier#6 years wow#so he definitely exists tho#love when you can really tell his adhd#like in one game there's a page of text#and he immediately goes 'oh god NO'#lmao#adhd paralysis ftw#because i had the same reaction#it just looks like So Much™#your brain just goes NOPE
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Grey
Steve Harrington x fem!reader
Synopsis: Steve gets a wake up call from yall's daughter
Contents: talks of aging, kids being kids, references to smut but nothing explicit
Steve groans as his consciousness comes to. Something is hitting his face. Someone. Repeatedly.
Steve squints his bleary eyes open as a hand smacks him in the jaw again. A small smile appears on his face even though his jaw stings from the impact. "Morning," Steve's voice is still thick with sleep as he turns to look into brown eyes barely peeking over the edge of the bed.
A quiet voice repeats back ,"Morning," to Steve before arms reach up over the edge of the bed to try and grasp something. Small hands grab the blanket and tug it off of him slightly as the child attempts to climb up. At two and half, Amelia Joy Harrington can barely see above the edge of her parents' bed, let alone get on it.
Steve hoists Amelia up and sits her on his stomach. Steve winces as Amelia scrambles, a stray foot hitting his thigh precariously close to his crotch. Arms are thrown around his neck in a hug as Amelia lays her head against her dad's chest.
Steve feels like his heart could burst out of his chest from the joy he is feeling. A hug from his baby? The best way to wake up in the morning. Who cares if his jaw is still stinging and probably red, his little girl loves him.
Steve sighs in contentment. Steve holds his daughter close until she starts to fidget and wiggle. Amelia sits up and throws her hands in the air. "Happy Birthday!" She whispers excitedly, except she has no concept of how quiet a whisper should actually be and says it in a much too loud voice.
"What?" Steve asks, hand hovering near Amelia's side in case she slips. Amelia's eyebrows furrow as she pouts at him, a look that is an exact copy of you. Her arms slowly lower as she stares at Steve. "Happy Birthday. You old." Amelia pouts at him.
Steve blinks at Amelia in confusion but nods his head. First off, rude, he isn't that old. Steve isn't sure where she gets her unfiltered, blunt commentary (it absolutely isn't him). Second, it absolutely isn't his birthday. Not even close.
"Why uh...why is it my birthday?" Steve asks, unsure if Amelia fully understands the concept. Not sure if he can explain the idea of a birthday to a two (and a half) year old. "Grey." Amelia declares giving Steve whiplash. Before Steve can speak, Amelia points at the comforter," Blue." Steve smiles," Yes, blue."
Amelia points to her shirt," Green." Steve nods. Amelia taps under Steve's eye, lashes brushing against her finger causing him to close it. Steve hopes she doesn't attempt to actually poke his eye.
"Brown." Amelia declares. "Thats right." Steve grins, his girl is so smart. Amelia points to his temple," Grey." "That's ri- what?! No!" Steve's mouth drops open as Amelia giggles. "Uncle Dustbin says grey is old. Birthday makes old. Happy Birthday!"
The creak of the loose floorboard in the hall notifies Steve of your approach. You peek into the doorway of the room, seeing your two favorite people. One looking aghast and the other giggling at her father's reaction.
"What's going on in here?" You ask, leaning against the doorway. "Grey. Birthday." Amelia announces, like it explains everything. And it does in her little mind.
You hum in response, looking at your husband who seems lost for words. Amelia slides off of Steve and off the bed, Steve guiding her so her feet land on the ground absent-mindedly. He would never let her fall or get hurt. Or you.
Amelia half walks half dances in your direction. A prance in her step, she stops in front of you and grabs your hands. "It's daddy's birthday," She says before headbutting your leg. You chuckle and pat her head as she dances out of the room, in her own little world.
"You lying to my kid again?" You ask once Amelia is gone. Steve sputters as he sits up," I did not- our kid- did not lie." "Uh-huh, sure," you say sarcastically. Steve rolls his eyes at you as he gets up out of bed.
Steve stretches as he rocks on his feet, back cracking, before strolling over to you. "Good morning," Steve mumbles, hand landing on your hip. You hum back as he leans in and kisses you. Soft. Slow. Sweet. Leaving you longing for more as he pulls back.
"Love you," Steve says, fingers running along the waistband of your pants. "I love you too," you want to melt into him. Curl up in his arms and stay in this moment. Let the love and adoration fill the air around you.
"Do I look old?" Steve is the first to break the silence. Your brow furrows in confusion," huh?" "Amelia she," Steve huffs out a laugh," said I have grey hair." You chuckle as you bring a hand up, fingers threading through his hair," You have some but its nice." "Its nice huh?" "Makes you look distinguished. Handsome." You bite your lip and look up at him.
Steve knows that look. Knows it well. It's the look you gave him the first time you moved past just making out. The same look you gave him on your first anniversary. The same look you wore on your wedding night. The same look you gave before Amelia was conceived.
Steve can't help the smirk that spreads across his face. If getting old gives him that look, well, he won't complain.
"What about me?" You ask, batting your lashes. "Beautiful," Steve kisses your cheek," Gorgeous," he kisses the corner of your lips. He continues to alternate between kissing all over your face and praising you.
"My love," Steve whispers before kissing you softly on the lips. You sigh into the kiss, one hand tangling in his hair, the other trying to pull him closer.
A loud crash from the living room has you two pulling back from the sweet moment you stole. "What was that?" You call down the hall. "Nothing!" Amelia yells back, making you sigh but smile. Steve can't help but grin too. His life was a little hectic dealing with a rambunctious child, but he wouldn't trade it for the world. And he thinks, if life is like this, he can manage getting old with you. He wouldn't want it any other way.
#Steve whines to Robin later who just sits there laughing until she cries#Until he points out she's aged too because she has laugh lines from smiling and then she spirals just a bit#He has to hold her hand and tell her its a good thing and she goes on a rant about anti-aging and its harder for women then men#How there's all this extra pressure and Steve is aghast like he isnt dumb he knew there was but he never heard it all verbalized#He comes home and kisses you and gets on his knees and tells you he loves you#He then begs you to let him show you how much he loves you wanting nothing more then to use his tongue on you#I mean why would you not let him#And when you lay in bed cuddling after he thinks again he doesn't mind aging if he's doing it with you#You wake up abruptly in the middle of the night and startle him awake#“Oh my God Amelia is going to go to high school and get a boyfriend” you whine#Steve just mutters an oh God and immediately starts thinking if it would be TOO much to have the nail bat when he speaks to said boyfriend#You both think about it for a long time meanwhile Amelia is asleep in her room with drool running out of her mouth hugging a stuffed animal#Anyways Steve nation we up??? This has been drafted for awhile but not posted but I am inspired#And I saw this and went oh yeah post that#So here it is...for u...on this fine Friday early morning#Jade is talking#steve harrington x reader#Steve harrington x you#Steve Harrington x y/n#Steve Harrington/you#Steve Harrington/reader#steve harrington x female!reader
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BREAKING NEWS: make sure this guy wins a card game competition so that he may SMILE and HUM THE VICTORY FANFARE TO HIMSELF
#GOD OH MY GOD OH MY FUCKING GOD#HE'S SO FUCKING ADORABLE AND DORKY#HE LOOKS SO HAPPY LOOK AT HIM!!!! LOOK AT HIS FACE#I LOVE HIM SO MUCH....#he looked like he wanted to gut the queensblood guy but then he gets the trophy and he immediately goes :)#AND THEN HE HUMS THE VICTORY FANFARE?????? SHUT THE FUCK UPPPP#LEAVE ME ALONE NO ONE TOUCH ME#i am going to save this clip and keep it until the universe goes cold#cloud strife#as you can see. i am insane about the boy#ff7 rebirth spoilers#ff7#ff7 rebirth#agnirambles
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Jon: Damian, I have a suggestion that you're going to hate, but I need you to bear with me and seriously consider it Damian: very well Jon: *takes a deep breath* I think we should go on an adventure with our brothers (Kon and Tim) instead of our dads Damian: *visibly vibrating with anger* *deep inhale* ...eXpLaIn Jon: our dads are constantly talking about responsibility and the importance of a well-balanced SuperBat partnership, working together as a single unit and approaching things seriously Damian: they are respected heroes, above reproach in their conduct and two of the three main founders of the Justice League Damian: meanwhile our "brothers", as you say, have a public history of being reckless and idiotic when teamed up together and are regularly involved in inane, useless shenanigans Jon: they would let us ride laser dinosaurs into battle without question Damian: they- Damian: -later- Damian: father Jon and I are going on an adventure with Drake and his clone boy
#jonathan kent#damian wayne#bruce is caught between 'oh thank god Tim and Damian might finally bond'#and 'oh god no Tim and Damian might finally bond'#Tim in the back of the cave like 'we're what now'#and Damian gives him a Look while flicking his eyes towards Bruce#and Tim immediately catches on and rolls with it#'oh right of course must have gotten caught up in reviewing case files my mistake'#'Kon and Jon should be here to pick us up soon let me double check our gear'#he and Damian hammer out an agreement#no insults or attempts at bodily harm#in exchange for finding something with dinosaurs#on earth or in space#and letting Damian and Jon ride them#Kon is just down for whatever Jon wants to do and doesn't hesitate to agree#the mission goes great#they might accidentally unleash laser dinosaurs into San Francisco#but it's fine#they end up helping defeat the villain and they get all of them back where they came from in the end#Tim even talks Damian down to only keeping a small herbivore instead of a velociraptor#since a velociraptor might hurt Damian's other pets#but they have enough forested area on the Wayne Estate that an herbivore is probably fine
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of ten’s companions, if the doctor couldn’t handle losing them and crossed his own timeline to trick them into traveling with future!him instead of past!him so that he’d have a little more time with them:
rose would do it. first because bless her but she has the situational awareness of a rock, and legitimately would not realize this isn’t her doctor until his facade starts to break down and he starts bleeding grief-laced love for her at every turn. but once she does realize it, she’s both deeply sympathetic and a little scared that she could make him into this. it’s a lot to be confronted with having that much power over someone, to break them so thoroughly. rose would try to get back to her doctor, but while she’s with the future version, she tries to do what she can to ease his pain. (she also tries to figure out a way to subvert her fate. she fails.)
i think martha would be harder to trick. she can smell desperation on the doctor like a bloodhound. she is so tapped into the fact that this man wants to off himself so bad and that she’s 90% of his self-restraint, so present her with a doctor who is lacking that and she’s onto him immediately. however, assuming he gets her to come with him, explains why he’s doing this, there’s like. a minute where she’s kind of. not flattered exactly, but surprised, giddy with the realization that he’d come back for a little more time with her, especially if this is early season 3 martha. which would all come crashing down around the time that he reveals that he wasn’t pushed to this by losing her to some tragedy or her death or anything- but that she chose to leave. that is the point at which martha goes ‘oh i need to get the fuck off of this tardis right now’ and ghosts the past!doctor that she was also traveling with because holy shit, man.
donna, like rose, is easily bamboozled into following the wrong doctor home, provided that he shuffles her along into his tardis too fast for her to argue. but she catches on far quicker than rose does. like, three minutes tops of watching the doctor move through the tardis in a way that’s definitely not enthusiastic piloting and looks more like guilty panic. and then she yells at him for lying to her. and she yells at him for kidnapping her. and then she stops yelling because he’s gone sort of still and quiet and his eyes are just broken. and he doesn’t explain himself, he confesses. donna is going to try to stay with him after this btw. because how do you go back to looking your best friend in the eyes when you know he’d take everything you’ve become away from you, even to save your life? and this is still the doctor, he still did that to her, but he regrets it. regrets it so much that he can’t live with it, he’s breaking time and space just to hear her say his name again. and donna doesn’t want to lose him anymore than he wanted to lose her.
#i am so enthralled by this concept you have no idea#also like. i mentioned in rose’s section how this is a genuinely scary situation for her.#but to be clear. it is for all three of them the moment they realize that this Is Not Their Doctor#because theyre suddenly on a ship going through time ans space with. almost a stranger. and one who has proven that he’s break laws#fundamental to his worldview rather than let them go#doctor who#rose tyler#martha jones#martha girl get the fuck out of there oh my god#the doctor comes out looking the worst in her section rip to him for not handling her leaving him in a normal and healthy way very well#i think it would be very funny if the doctor said goodbye to her and then immediately went. ‘oh! right! martha is the only thing keeping me#from jumping off a cliff! brb i need to get martha back at whatever cost!’ sir go to therapy#donna noble#also also to be clear im not trying to insult rose in her section thats just how she is#remember that time her boyfriend turned into plastic in front of her and she. didnt notice. or that time the doctor was being strangled in#the other room and she. didnt notice.#rose tyler girl that you are. you never know what the fuck is going on around you and i love you for that. how are you still alive.#REMEMBER THAT TIME SHE GOT BACK FROM AN ALTERNATE DIMENSION AND DIDNT EVEN NOTICE THE DALEK ABOUT TO SHOOT THE DOCTOR IN THE FACE#ROSE TYLER. GIRL. LOOK LEFT AND RIGHT BEFORE CROSSING A STREET AT LEAST#donna’s here is the most fucked up i think because even if this situation is ‘resolved’ and she goes back to her doctor like. how does she#keep going with that fact in the back of her mind at all times. that he can and will do this to her. that he’ll take himself and everything#else away from her while she begs him not to.#angst <3
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I strongly feel that in Hawk’s evil bitch s3 era he gets super into American Idiot. Stewing in his room punching the wall like no one understands me… I’m so alternative while listening to one of the biggest hit albums of the 21st century. When Demetri tells him it got a musical adaptation he gets so mad he punches Kyler
#here’s how it goes 2 me:#one day hawk shows up in a brand new hot topic hand grenade heart t shirt. gets a few compliments whatever#Demetri sees it and immediately starts looking up trivia that doesn’t cater to Hawk’s toxic macho interpretation#when he sees the stuff about St Jimmy in the musical adaptation he’s like oh my god he’s going to lose his macho shit if hears this#at lunch he stops Hawk to compliment the shirt like great album! did you see the musical? :)#Hawk’s like. the WHAT? and Demetri’s like the broadway musical of course! love that they generally get a woman to play St Jimmy! 😍#Hawk gets so angry he bluescreens#and then Kyler comes over like what is UP Hawk my dude my new dojo compatriot#Hawk turns around and punches Kyler super hard in the arm and walks away seething#that night he shreds the shirt and swears off Green Day forever bc not even St Jimmy is there for him 😭🤬.#but not b4 he watches a youtube bootleg of the musical#just for confirmation y’know?#stfu kor#post hard post fast no mercy#cobra kai#hawk cobra kai#hawk moskowitz#eli moskowitz#cobra kai season 3#Kyler park#it’s very important to me that during the brief Hawk Kyler cobra eras Hawk is just always beating the shit out of Kyler. which. deserved#demetri alexopoulos#american idiot
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TO ME, THAT’S CINEMA
#tomgreg#so i've seen this around a lot and ppl have already made points but like holy fuck. hoooly fuck lmao where do i begin#TOM THOUGHT THE ROOM WAS EMPTY FOR UH ... FOR WHAT BITCH??#empty for what. you two just going in there ALONE. what for. strategizing? ok but then why was greg showing you tonight's selection.#even if it was girls it's still sus bc like who tf goes specifically to a room to show that shit.#oh by the way i listened again and tom says first ''why do we have to...'' so GREG asked for the room?#greg asked them to go to an empty room. slut.#anD THEN AFTER SAID ''I WANNA GIVE YOU'' BITCH!!!!!!!!1#are we sure it's girls though...... like does it say later. i'll keep watching but Christ. LIKE. WHAT THE FUCK#how am i supposed to read this other than an affair lmfao and then he says ''go on'' and sends greg off away like a little pet#sick to bastard death of them god#so it's like. greg says can we go somewhere private and tom says why do we have to#greg says i wanna give you... and tom says what do you wanna give me annoyed like#girl we are at work and we are trying to stay alive can't you wait til we are at home for me to clap them cheeks#and then greg says a preview of tonight's selection... of what? could be alcohol could be sexy stuff could be mf. clothes idk#and then they look up like O FUCK the room is in use and it's fucking SH*V and immediately tom is like GO ON and greg#doesn't even stutter or say anything like usual he's just like SORRY and leaves immediately bc he KNOWS he gotta gtfo#sorry i'm just. poetic cinema indeed
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consider sanuso bodyswap where Sanji is of course "admiring" Usopp's body and Usopp is trying desperately to keep himself from getting worked up so that he doesn't light himself on fire.
Luffy and Chopper are not helping. They are in fact doing the opposite of helping. They've ramped up their pranks and are doing anything possible to get Usopp angry so that he combusts, freaks out, and then dives into the ocean to put himself out. They think it's hilarious.
Nami and Brook are Also not helping, since they're conspiring with Sanji to put on a fashion show with Usopp's body. Sanji called it "not wasting a precious opportunity to get him in something other than overalls". Usopp called it mutiny and he was gonna- dive into the ocean, holy fuck Sanji why is it so easy to catch fire?!
Best part about this is that Sanji assured him, several times, that his body doesn't get hurt by catching fire. Usopp still jumps into the ocean every time.
Robin pipes up at one point, asking if Sanji was immune to just his own flames or all flames. Sanji just kind of shrugs and said it depends. Franky, having just been leisurely watching all of this gets an idea. Would his Franky Fireball hurt Sanji's body or just give him more fire to work with?
He tries to coax Usopp into agreeing to test it out and, somehow, he manages it. Albeit, Usopp is all knocking knees and chattering teeth, a very odd sight from 'Sanji'. As part of the deal though, he can only shoot a fireball the size of his hand.
Usopp meant his small hand. The one Franky used for tinkering and fine detail work. He did not, however, clarify this.
So, when a fireball the size of Franky's big hand comes out, well. Usopp runs for his goddamn life.
It takes him a few moments- and the voices of his friends sounding distant and below him- to realize he hadn't, in fact, run to the men's quarters, but rather into the fucking sky.
And oooooh, boy he is gonna kill Sanji one of these days. Why was his body's first fucking instinct when running to go up, what the actual HELL-
Usopp lit himself on fire again.
He curses out Sanji as his Sky Walk fails in the same moment and he plummets towards the deck.
#one piece#sanuso#nemotime#usopp the first time he lights himself on fire: WHAT THE FUCK WHAY THE FUCK WHAT THE HELL OH GOD OH F-#oh ndvdggdvdv okay listen. listen. omagine Zoro's been asleep this whole time. and he misses the memo that there was a bodyswap.#and he wakes up to 'Sanji' kicking him abd immediately goes into fight mode... and then is really fucking spooked#bc 'Sanji' is blubbering about Zoro going to kill him and that he couldnt die this young and Zoro's just. Still as a statue.#Literally cannot compute.#and then 'Usopp' comes up to him. threatening him and calling him names the way he was expecting from 'Sanji'#Brook: oh dear he mustve slept through all the commotion. Zoro-san! Usopp and-!#Nami covering Brook's mouth: No wait i smell a money making opportunity#shes gonna con him. idk how or with what yet but shes definitely gonna con him#hes gonna be sooo pissed when he finds out she conned him but his usual outlet for physical violence is currently indisposed so. lol. lmao.#i like making zoro suffer idk why its just funny#wait wai what if Usopp didnt trip on him what if when he plummets to the deck he lands on Zoro lmfao#also Franky's standing there like 'Why did you dodge it?!' and Usopp is right back to trying not to light himself on fire again lol#oh n Jinbei gets roped into the fashion show stuff#where he incurs 'newbie's first debt to Nami'#damn now im thinking about him slightly concerned about all this spontaneous combustion and then Robin saying something to make it worse lol#ANYWAY MORE IMPORTANTLY the real tragedy of this post is that because Usopp's constantly worried about Combusting#it never really sinks in how blatantly Sanji is checking out his body + enjoying doing that fashion show#and because of Sanji 'enjoying the view' he never notices the brief moments where Usopp quietly does the same#before being interrupted by Luffy and Chopper coming out of nowhere wanting to roast marshmallows on Usopp's leg#okay im done were done im good its bed time gnight gmorning gday to all
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Attempting a comic format for the next itafushi tattoo au post, this time actually featuring itafushi for once
#the vision is: Yuji and sukuna show up to the shop for Sukuna’s appointment (with geto ig??)#and Megumi is still an apprentice and mostly works the front desk#he’s giving sukuna paperwork to fill out and then he and Yuji’s eyes meet and they’re both immediately blushing messed#unsure if I want this to be their very first meeting or if maybe they briefly met on campus at uni and are recognizing each other like#‘oh god it’s that hot guy I met last week how do I be normal about this’#I’m unsure of how to wrap up the comic bc it seems kinda boring atm hmmm#more lore suggestions are welcome as always#I’m not the storymaking type so if someone wants to lend their big brain inspiration please do#I’m not great at comics really and I never know the best way to format them on tumblr but we’ll see how it goes#insane turn of events: the Megumi sketch looks waaay better than Yuji for once#simultaneous one step forward and another step back#cursed to never draw them both well if they’re on the same canvas#I know I yap too much just be glad I’ve caged it in the tags#jujutsu kaisen#itafushi tattoo au#itafushi#itfs#fushiita#jjk
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when i say i am obsessed with him
#'indescribable insolence' <3333#dumas writing aramis in '20 years after':#i am going to create a character that is so egdy sarcastic provocative and irritating to everyone around him#and im gonna make stirring shit being an asshole and gruesome murder his favourite hobbies#and he did just as he said. bless him.#most character ever#and what makes him even better is the contrast between 20YA!aramis and t3M!aramis. its hilarious.#my man really went feral. midlife crisis some call it. i call it character development of all time. i call it serving cunt.#aramis as a musketeer a soldier a man in a profession where you're literally paid for killing people:#sweetness and mildness personified writes poetry and theology essays in his free time never gambles dreams about dedicating his life to god#aramis as a priest: whooo boy i hope i get to fUCKING KILL A PERSON TODAY >:D#anyway. i love him a normal amount or something.#the three musketeers#alexandre dumas#anyway. i reread this scene and the charenton battle today because it's definitely in my top 3 aramis moments#also the english translation on the gutenberg page omits two lines of dialogue that i remembered from my polish translation#and it goes something like#de Chatillon says 'i think you're looking for a fight sir' to which Aramis basically responds with 'oh nooo you *think*? Imao'. iconic.#(and its even funnier cause that makes athos immediately go 'aramis stfu plz' and aramis just goes 'no <3' im obsessed with them)#vingt ans apres#do i have a#twenty years after#tag?? not sure tbh i think i dont but tagging just in case ig
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This is far from my best work, but it's 1:30am, and I needed to get this down before I slept or lost my mind. So here, take a snippet of Rook seeing Zara again for the first time in 3 years.
Trying, and failing, to keep his voice from shaking, [Rook] said “Hello, Captain.” Mouth still open in surprise, [Zara] replied “Well, hello yourself.” The reality of what she was seeing seemed to hit her as she rounded the desk. “Rook, is that really you?” He nodded. “It’s me.” Zara ran towards him, stopping just short of touching him, and said “What did she do to you?” Rook’s heart stuttered and he had to brush his fingers together to confirm Sigmar’s ring was still in place. Could she possibly see through its illusion? But then he remembered what Lanny had said. She knew where you were. His throat clenched and he choked out “Two years.” A wave of grief swept across Zara’s face as she said “I’m so, so sorry.” Rook shook his head vigorously. “It’s not your fault.” Zara ignored him. “It is my fault. I failed you. As your captain, it’s my responsibility to keep you safe, and I failed you.” Rook wanted to say something, to reassure her, but she pushed on. “She sent me letters, told me all the terrible things she was doing to you. I… I let you down.” Those words hit Rook with the force of a dozen cannonballs. Lanny had said that Zara knew Wolf had him, but knowing that Zara had been aware of what Wolf was doing to him… somehow that was more painful than any wound Wolf had ever inflicted. He barely managed to force his next words out around the lump in his throat. “Where were you?” And why didn’t you come? “She said she’d kill you if I came to get you. Or if I hired anyone to get you. You’re standing here because I stopped sailing.”
(honorary one-time tag for @space-writes bc I remember you enjoyed my other bits about Rook and Zara.)
#morrigan.text#my writing#dnd writing#oc: Rook#oc: Zara#btw when I say that what she said was more painful than any wound wolf inflicted I'm not just talking about her not saving him.#it also just hurts him to know that she was hurting too.#she left him with that woman for two years (to save his life yes. but she left him there all the same) and yet half of his thoughts are#''I'm sorry I hurt you.''#ROOK. MY BELOVED BABY BOY. PLEASE.#STOP APOLOGIZING.#also if anyone needs a cheering up after this please know that their conversation got interrupted by a giant snake showing up and zara#immediately asking Rook ''WHAT DID YOU DO???'' bc she knows her boy.#and he's like ''idk I just woke up like an hour ago'' and then he suddenly remembers that he swore like 3 times (town rules say no to that)#and he just goes ''SHIT'' and Zara fucking clamps her hand over his mouth and says ''take that back!''#and through her hand he says ''how the fuck am I supposed to take that back?'' and she just clamps his mouth harder.#oh. and the time he swore earlier was bc he stepped outside and got spit on by a bull and he was like ''is this normal??''#and someone said ''I've never seen that happen but these animals are part of [big snake almost-god]'s menagerie'' and hands Rook a paper#with all the town rules (there are many). And he goes ''what the fuck?'' and then he gets to the rule that reads ''no swearing'' and he goe#''SHIT!'' and then he realizes what he says and goes ''AAAHHHH.'' and I was cackling.#I was doing this on purpose btw. I knew that this would make the snake mad at me and I did it anyway bc I am a chaos gremlin.#however I did NOT know I would get Rook's only friend from before the party killed by doing this. RIP Jay. I loved you so much.#but yeah. my boy swears like a sailor bc he is one. and it did in fact get people killed. But it was funny to me.#ALSO when she met the party the first thing she said was ''thank you for saving my boy'' and I almost sobbed.#like yeah. he is her boy.#I'm going to explode just thinking about it.#okay if you read all these tags I love you forever and please feel free to yell at my idiot boy in the comments/tags/wherever.#maybe if enough of us join in he'll actually listen. (no he won't)#OH RIGHT. And the party is finally staring to realize how much of a capital L Liar this man is.#because they can literally see him catching himself about to say ''I'm fine'' every time they ask how he's doing
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i am not immune to making aus where Luke is inexplicably there as a protagonist and ends up accidentally adopting at least one member of the Argo 2 crew
#pjo#riordanverse#luke castellan#i have at least three major aus where Luke is. just there. and working with chb & co and accidentally keeps adopting people#he cant help it he's a camp counselor#he sees a kid with no supervision and immediately goes ''dear gods someone needs to look out for you. im your dad now''#it just overrides him being evil cause the reason he's evil and bitter in the first place is TO KEEP THESE KIDS SAFE GODDAMMIT#the minute he snaps out of ''oh wait the titans are hurting kids MORE'' he just goes full ''fuck all yall im doing my own thing''
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Kozaki Karin genre of Neurodivergent is especially hilarious because she's coping just well enough to slide under the radar and then you learn that she just kinda susses out things about people in her mind and then acts surprised she doesn't get that treatment back
Karin at other members, entirely internally, thoughts going million miles an hour: ok so [name] does this and [name B] reacts that way which means their relationship is like x and y, which means z thing about [name B] and their relationship to their classmates. Neat. Moving on
Karin when she doesn't tell people shit about herself and people don't know shit about her: you don't even want to study me like a specimen? Ungrateful
#ollie ocposting.txt#and the reason this goes unnoticed is because she's almost always correct in her logic#she's not particularly Observant like Kairi or Reishi are in that she doesn't actively try to analyse people#but she reads social dynamics really accurately and has a good sense for people where Reishi and Kairi don't necessarily do#this is also why Karin is so weird to Akari!#Akari's Unpredictable and kinda just. especially hard to assess correctly#Karin doesn't understand her motives and reasoning and thought process and oh god that pisses her off So Much. very entertaining#girls when they don't have compelte control over everything at any given moment and never feel safe with uncertainty and Karin is the girls#this is - also! - why she immediately figures out Kairi's bullshit after meeting him for less than 20 minutes#Reishi knoes Kairi is a Freak and does weird things but he does Not understand WHY he does it. and it intrigues him but in his eyes Kai has#no reason to do what he does. Karin - having minimal background intel on Kairi - just immediately jumps to the right conclusion that even#Kairi himself doesn't initially recognize as correct. let alone Reishi or anyone else. she's just stupid about it and never brings it up#again.#:]
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Was at work when I had a funny thought, what if Altaïr was corned by templars somewhere no one can see them and just when they were going to kill him a bright flash appears and suddenly Altaïr turns into an Angel, but not the beautiful ones dear no! He turns into the biblically accurate angels so all the templars are scared and confused on what to do because this is an Angel! ...On the other hand he is also an Assassin who they were just about to kill so yeah...
Not sure if he can turn back willingly or something has to happen first but one things certain is people are probably going to find the Angel so they can hear his message or something similar
Altaïr…
Altaïr Ibn-La'Ahad…
Altaïr “I long for the day when men will turn away from invisible monsters and once more embrace a more rational view of the world” Ibn-La'Ahad…
Altaïr: the only Assassin that is pretty much confirmed as an atheist…
Gets transformed into a biblically accurate angel…
Oh my god, nonny.
I love you and this ask soooo much.
This is the kind of fuckery I am 100% behind with.
I mean, if we make this an Altaïr that has already written this part in the Codex:
I long for the day when men will turn away from invisible monsters and once more embrace a more rational view of the world. But these new religions are so convenient—and promise such terrible punishment should one reject them—I worry that fear shall keep us stuck to what is surely the greatest lie ever told. (Altaïr Ibn-La'Ahad's Codex, pg 20)
Which cements him as an atheist by this point in his life…
I’m just imagining how annoyed Altaïr would be because of this.
And! He’d still be stubborn enough to try and explain this without admitting that this was divine intervention in the veins of “can’t say I don’t exist now, can you, bitch?” and be like “No! You don’t exist. This is the power of the Apple!”
Which he might not be totally wrong, all things considered.
Like, if we go for the idea that this is an older Altaïr, that part in the Codex (page 20) is written before page 24 which has this line:
Some day I will have a child—such is the way of our Order.
BUT this after page 16 which talks about the Apple then we can safely assume that page 20 was written after he got the Apple and was able to study it BUT before he had a child.
Which meant this is an Altaïr who is still in the middle of his unpaid vacation leave, on a road trip with Maria so this could be after Maria and Altaïr had a debate about the existence of a divine being and they’re so annoyed with each other’s stubbornness that they took a break by walking out and that’s how Altaïr gets into trouble.
Oh god.
Just imagine Maria seeing him in that form, the grin on her face and Altaïr’s multitude of voices just going “Don’t. Say. Anything.”
Back in the Gray:
“………… Oh.”
“What’s up?”
“………”
“Use your words, Reader. We talked about this.”
“I… may have accidentally… connected with Altaïr.”
“That’s a good thing?”
“And transformed him into an angel.”
“Okay… hey, man, I’m not gonna jud- WHAT THE HELL IS THAT???”
“… A… biblically accurate angel?”
“Oh my god. Why does it have so many eyes. Jeeesssuusss.”
(I headcanon that Altaïr’s angel form is the multiple wings with eyes on the feathers type to show his desire to know things as his form of knowledge is usually thru the eyes via books and his Eagle Vision but feel free to choose whichever biblically accurate angel you’d like. :))
#i feel like i know you nonny#is it because i reblogged the biblically accurate pride angels yesterday in my other non-ac blog#anyway#i know desmond isn’t in the ask#but if you go angel#my brain immediately goes ‘desmond ask?’#ask and answer#assassin's creed#altaïr ibn la'ahad#teecup writes/has a plot#fic idea: assassin's creed#oh god i just realized#altaïr would definitely tanya if he was ever isekai'd#he'd definitely annoy the local gods XD#ac characters as biblically accurate angels
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i love this little life or whatever
#honestly despite randomly getting sad and the dread I felt going#I had so much fun with my friends tonight#I made a new friend and she was my secret santa and the presents she got me were SO fucking cute and she is so sweet and was like I was so#nervous you weren’t going to like it and I was like oh my god no I LOVE it so fucking much#and we started talking and kept relating on things and immediately felt comfortable and she goes ….are we soulmates?#everyone else left and it was just the 4 of us who worked tg having our lil debrief and it was just so fucking#overwhelmingly needed. I fucking love them so much. I MISSED them so much I got there and immediately ran to one of them who I haven’t#talked to in months and just flopped and wrapped myself around him like UGHHHHHHHHHHHHH and then my sweet angel baby K was sitting with her#bf and called me over to lay in her lap and she goes ‘I just love you so much you’re so cute like a baby’ and just rubbed my back while I#laid there 😭 like FUCK I LOVE MY FRIENDS#i got one of bestie for secret santa and he loved my present and he kept reading the book I got him and just UGH#HEART WARM.#goodnight ily
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in my prophet era
#i had a man (my moms doctor) hold my hand and pray for me to become a prophet and he asked god to give me the real shit and get rid of#all the boring fake shit and cookie cutter people and show me what i need to see and to let me see... amen#he asked me beforehand if i ever prayed to the lord to let me see things and to be prophetic and then he just.. grabbed my hand and was like#im gonna pray for you... and literally told the lord to get rid of the boring fake shit and give me the real shit...#he also said we need more crazy and weird people in the world when i told him he reminded me of willy wonka (complimentary)#and was saying how he goes to church and sees people acting cookie cutter and trying to stop people from expressing themselves and said#jesus would be laughing at them if he were there 😭 also said hes tired of seeing all the same cookie cutter people and that more people#need to follow their own paths and god made us all different for a reason...#OH ALSO THE FIRST THING HE SAID TO ME upon seeing me was immediately like are you a writer you look like a writer.... you Should Be a writer#and said sometimes the lord just speaks to us and he felt that from me immediately upon meeting me... he prayed for me to find my calling#I think hes the most real motherfucker out there and was like a tumblrina to me
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