#and he does all of this without ever talking to betty cooper ever

[visenyaism]

"asoiaf needs a Hiram lodge" is that not what Varus is?

so hiram is a schemer like varys but he’s so much more than that. he’s a mid-tier white collar embezzler. he’s a mob boss responsible for the death of papa poutine (rip). he’s an olympic-tier hater. he’s a mild mannered gentrifier. he’s a comic book supervillain trying to strip mine palladium out from under riverdale. he’s responsible for all crime. he’s archie’s gothic double. he leads a formidable criminal empire but all his enemies are teenagers running the school newspaper. he’s veronica’s dad/business rival/past/present/future. he’s goofy but everyone takes him 10000% seriously. he’s the death of innocence, the metaphysical and spiritual antagonist of the narrative as a whole whose introduction in season 2 sends it wildly careening off of ever staying in one genre ever again. he’s The Adversary. he’s 5’6. hiram is hiram forever and there’s actually no 1:1 equivalent anywhere else idk what to tell you

[augment-techs]

Which ranger has a daddy/sir kink?

Honestly, thank you for adding the option of 'Sir' because JUST 'Daddy' would leave this VEEEEEEEEEERY short.

Starting from the boom! comics, because that's a lot easier than live action:

Jason Scott: Both Daddy and Sir (and, yes, this is @ajgrey9647 's fault).

Tommy Oliver: I think he leans in pretty hard on the 'Sir' rather than daddy...unless he's drunk.

Matt Cook: Very much both, especially when he's ABSOLUTELY the bottom.

Aisha Campbell: Daddy, but like, ironically when both her boyfriends are younger than her.

Andros: Daddy, daddy, daddy. Even though it makes Zhane feel a tad awkward about it.

Drakkon: Let's all be real, he's really into being CALLED 'Sir' so that counts.

Moving onto Live:

Zack Taylor: Daddy as a joke, Sir as a flirtation.

Tommy Oliver: I don't need to explain that it's both.

Kimberly Hart : She's into Daddy, but she can't say the words without killing the mood somehow.

Rocky DeSantos: Yes, he has the Sir kink, but good luck getting him to admit it.

Carlos Vallerte: Daddy kink; especially when applied to Adam or T.J. in certain alone times on the Megaship.

Andros: Both Daddy and Sir, but it goes both ways.

Leo Corbett: Very much has a Sir kink, but it's like WAAAAAAY in the back of his empty head.

Kai Chen: Daddy kink that he will never ever ever admit to (except for that one time with Mike).

Chad Lee: It is a Daddy kink, but it manifests as a Sir kink, and no, he doesn't understand why.

Eric Myers: BEING the Daddy/Sir.

Trip Regis: ......eh. Kinda Daddy? Sort of.

Max Cooper: Daddy kink, but only when applied to Danny, which makes no sense but works for them.

Dustin Brooks: Daddy in address, Sir in flirtation.

Hunter Bradley: BEING CALLED DADDY/SIR.

Marah: Sort of, kind of has a Sir kink, but she also cannot say it...out loud.

Conner McKnight: Let's all be real here, Conner has the BIGGEST Daddy Kink of them all.

Trent Fernandez-Mercer: A Sir kink when he's addressed, but if he develops a Daddy Kink he's going DIRECTLY to therapy.

Sky Tate: Daddy/Sir, but was there ever any doubt.

Syd Drew: Daddy kink. Don't think about it.

Boom: Sir kink, but he feels bad about it.

Maddie Rocca: Daddy kink, and it's Daggeron's fault, but no, she doesn't act on it.

Will Aston: Dear lord does he have a Sir kink when it's aimed at him.

Casey Rhodes: Daddy and Sir kink, more often in his head than he'd care to admit.

Jarrod: No lies, he developed a Sir kink during his possession and Camille is totally into it.

Gem: Did not understand it, just picked up up from reading some magazines he found out in the wastes. Then he used 'Daddy' followed by 'Sir' on Scott, and OH that was fun.

Scott Truman: Daddy/Sir and it's ALL GEM'S FAULT.

Jayden Shiba: Sir kink, but only when it's said by Antonio. Otherwise he feels really weird about it.

Noah Carver: Sir kink, but only because he hates saying/being called Daddy.

Koda: He honestly just really likes saying the words, so it kind of counts.

Prince Phillip: Hearing Koda say Dadd/Sir DOES THINGS TO HIM.

Heckyl: Hmmmmmmmmmmm....both.

Calvin Maxwell: Sir kink, especially when he's addressed as such. Both by Hayley, and literally anyone else--it's so rare and embarrassingly easy to get off on it.

Victor Vincent: Come on, he has an ego. He likes being called Sir as much as possible (especially by Monty).

Monty: Both Daddy and Sir and if he lets it slip in daylight hours it makes anyone in a five yard radius just...stop talking for an hour (he's just...so awkward).

Betty Burke: Really, really into both, either addressing or being addressed.

Devon Daniels: Sir, Sir, Sir, Sir, SIR--this is Betty's fault, but it's actually kind of great.

Ollie Akana: Sir kink most of the time, except when he and Amelia broke up and Aiyon made him feel better; then he entered into Daddy kink.

Aiyon: Does not understand anything, except that it's really hot when Ollie calls him Sir in Ranger gear and Daddy in the bedroom.

[motownfiction]

awakening

The word awakening gets tossed out a lot in college spaces.

Daniel doesn’t hear it a lot in his business classes, but when he needs to visit the humanities for some lower-distribution credits, they’re always talking about awakening. And it’s never just about how you woke up this morning. It’s always about your first sexual attraction.

When Daniel takes Introduction to Literary Criticism in his second year at Michigan, he falls in with a pretty interesting crowd. They all know Lucy from classes here and there, and they’re more than happy to welcome a guy who’s been her friend for so long. They joke that he surely has secrets about how to bring her down. Daniel laughs, but he never follows up. He has a sneaking suspicion they’re not kidding, and Daniel knows too much.

But they make him feel welcome, anyway. He never says much, but when he does, he knows they’re listening. And he listens to them. He learns all about why they’re majoring in English, who their favorite writers are, which professors they want to be like, which professors they’d marry if they lived in an alternate universe where everyone was just a brain in a jar. They’re all madly in love with the guy who teaches classes on the Brontë sisters. Daniel doesn’t always know what they mean (or why they mean it), except for on the days that he does.

Like today, when they’re all talking about sexual awakening.

Daniel no longer remembers how they got on the topic. One of the women in the group said something about falling in love with Micky Dolenz in syndication and crying when she realized he no longer looked like he did on The Monkees. Got everybody talking. Eventually, one of them turned around and asked Daniel where he found his sexual awakening.

He still hasn’t answered.

Where would he even begin? Not with his crush on the cartoon version of Betty Cooper. He was too young for that. His crush on Princess Leia was more out of respect than lust. Even his crush on Pamela Sue Martin, back when she was on The Nancy Drew Mysteries, felt pretty chaste. He hardly ever cared about any of the girls at school until Melissa Kaminski asked him out. He didn’t have time before she taught him what time was.

But was it really Melissa Kaminski? Daniel must have been attracted to her. He was even hurt when she didn’t care about hooking up with him again. But she can’t have been the first girl he felt that way about. Did he feel any way about her at all? Sometimes, when he thinks back to that night all those years ago, he wonders if it was just about himself. Proving something. That he could grow up without someone watching him. Judging him. Melissa Kaminski was a girl, and she was pretty. Hardly an awakening, though. Just a nudge.

Or did Daniel awake to new thoughts, new people, new insecurities every time he took another girl around? What was he thinking? What was he doing? Did he look at them and think I want it all? Or did he let them flock and then beg them to love him, just for an hour or two, just for a night? He feels like a joke. He never thought back to any of those encounters after they were through. Only if he wanted to punish himself – pretend like he regretted it. They were beautiful girls, sometimes even very nice girls, but they awakened nothing. Just kept it alive.

Daniel remembers the first time sex was different.

And he finally has an answer.

“Must have been Sadie.”

(part of @nosebleedclub december challenge -- day 6! obsessed with me never being able to catch up with anything)

[makeowndestiny]

Some family hcs for Betty:

Betty loves spending time with her niece and nephew. She always makes sure that they have a fun time with her. She also knows very well that she's not technically considered the "Cool Aunt" that title belongs to Cheryl since she lets the twins get away with things but Betty treasures the fact that they confide in her because she knows the importance of having someone to hold your secrets and offer advice when it's needed, especially in the Blossom/Cooper family.

Speaking of Cheryl, they act more like true sisters than Betty and Polly. Ever since the Farm Betty and Polly have had a wedge between them, especially because Polly continues to repeat Alice's manipulation and other toxic traits. After high school Betty and Cheryl realized just how shit their families really were and formed a stronger connection.

Then the real thought that started this deep dive into Betty's family dynamics that kind of combines all of the above with one of the many internal battles Betty often faces - "Dark Betty": One day while at work Betty gets a call from Juniper telling her that she punched a boy because he kissed her without permission and before Betty could even start asking all of the questions that immediately popped into her head (the first one being "Are you okay?") Polly takes the phone after some "Is that your Aunt Betty on the phone? Let me talk to her." and starts interrogating Betty about the incident and about how she doesn't want her daughter turning out like Betty and resorting to violence for everything and why am I not surprised that you taught her how to throw a punch and just essentially guilt tripping Betty and making her feel awful when all Betty did was teach the twins how to defend themselves because there's no telling what Riverdale is like now after she left because Riverdale was not the sweet Smalltown, USA anymore. Juniper finally gets the phone back and tells Betty that she's grateful for the lesson and that she hates that her mom said all that stuff because it makes her feel shamed for defending herself and Betty pushes all of her own trauma and hurt aside to reassure Juniper that she did the right thing and that she should never be ashamed for sticking up for herself. After the phone call Betty does spiral a bit but she reminds herself of her own advice and gets back to work.

[riverdale-retread]

Riverdale S5 E16 (Band of Brothers) - 5 Things I Loved / 3 Things to Consider

5 Things I loved:

The word that came to me for some reason after the end of this episode was Götterdämmerung ( collapse (as of a society or regime) marked by catastrophic violence and disorder) even though most of what happens in the episode is so very quiet and mostly in intimate conversations, and the episode was punctuated by moments of levity.

1. I loved how momentous and monumental the tete-a-tete between Betty and Jughead in the bunker felt.  This conversation was a very serious attempt at permanently destabilizing the centrality of Bughead in favor of - to my surprise - Jughead’s journey, in coming into an identity as simply Forsythe P. Jones III, and not a writer, not Betty’s support, not Archie’s mythologizer. 

But before we get to that - I was frankly shocked at how brutally the show drove home the point that Bughead 1.0 is no more.  Y’all, that was mean.  

By the time they are meeting in the bunker, Jughead knows that Betty gave away his manuscript wholesale to Jessica, and has effectively ended his budding career as a writer. The contempt shown to his work by a woman he thinks of as his guardian angel makes him give up on close to everything - his sobriety and his ethics.  

Jughead apologizes to her about the one act of aggression he’s ever perpetrated on her (the voicemail) partly because he’s actually sorry (because he’s Jughead, and he’s always sorry) but mostly to model behavior for Betty: When you fuck up with someone you care about, this is how you apologize.  He says he’s “trying to clean up my side of the tracks” - hinting in the broadest possible way that she has something on her side to clean up as well.  Then he does something that I’ve never seen him do before.  Jughead observes Betty clinically, eyes cold & clear.  It was reminiscent of how he looked at Gladys once he realized what she was up to. 

Betty’s meaningful non-responses were powerful and I LOVED the tension.  Jughead tries to up the ante - I AM IN RECOVERY - and then takes a deliberate sip of alcohol.   And then hammers it home - I’M AN ALCOHOLIC. No response. AN ADDICT.  No response.   Then she says, I think I’m an addict too. The net effect of which is: Enough about you, shut up now and listen to me talk about my problems.  

This is so stunningly callous because Betty witnessed FP being a failed drunkard of a father to Jughead when they were children. She really doesn’t care. (Whether this is because she doesn’t want to care or because she can’t due to trauma is interpretation. The fact is that she doesn’t).

Jughead’s mounting despair that it’s NOT working, because trying to make Betty respond to him and his concerns is impossible, leads to a very double-entendre statement: Classic Cooper.  His relationship with the Coopers as a whole isn’t friendly, and one of the mainstays of the Bughead relationship was that these two kids could form a new thing, without contamination from the elder Coopers and Joneses. Wincing with effort, Jughead gives being the Jughead of Bughead 1.0 one last go - being her support, being endlessly forgiving, while not saying what he needs to say, not asking the questions he needs to ask.  

The absolute contempt Betty dealt Jughead in the time jump also shocked me.  She chose her job over Jughead, which can happen, but it was so the natural order of things that this is what she should do, that she didn’t even explain why she couldn’t come. He defends his sanity by saying that “It’s ALL ancient history” mostly because the present is pretty miserable and this is a fresh wound.   

The second that Jughead makes himself  unavailable to make Betty's concerns about herself his number one priority she jets.   The privileged final reaction shot goes to Jughead, who really still can’t believe she’d do that.  And she’s precisely why he lost the agent, the contract, the identity as a writer.  And Jughead Jones, secular Bodhisattva, forgives even this and reverts to worrying about Betty.

2. I love the very gentle and subtle developments given to the Adult Jughead that serve as a corrective to his most self-harming traits.  Jughead loses everything in this episode once again - his teaching job, the professionals-together adult relationship he liked so much with Waldo Weatherbee (he’s a troubled student once more), the relationship with his agent, his contract with his publishing house, his identity as a writer, and his seven days’ worth of sobriety.  But as an adult he’s not plagued by the self-aggrandizing perfectionism that drove him to seek death (like Aslan, like Jesus) when things went awry. Now he’s a person who seeks support for the problem he has, and can resignedly cope with the idea that he’s at this point barely ‘a busboy.’   This is because he keeps exactly three small but not insignificant things - the last thread of his morals as a writer, his job at Pop’s which is his only real home, and his connection with Tabitha. 

Sidebar:  Tabitha Tate is designed to be very lovable, and she’s played with such charm and warmth by a beautiful actress, so of course I love her.  But they did this to me with Jughead Jones, where they got my buy-in for the lovable boy he was, and then proceeded to, well, do all this to him, so I’m trying to guard my heart.

3. I loved the weirdness of the  theology that Cheryl and Kevin are putting together, though I do not love that I am liking Kevin less and less. (insert that We Were All Rooting For You gif.  See also my essays in support of Kevin as an unacknowledged alpha.)   Catholicism (and all the other off shoots) was assembled, edited, revised and rebooted wholesale over time, and we’re seeing the Blossom Faith go through the same steps in its incipient stages.  Riverdale, making interesting commentary on the evolution of all of Christianity.  By the way, the misogyny built into what the two younger people are doing is stark.  Cheryl shared a womb with The Holy Jason which makes her the greater authority.  However, Penelope, the OWNER of the womb, the gestator of The Holy Jason, can be cast out. (Because Kevin has issues with his mother and Cheryl’s OTP gave birth and she is feeling some type of way about it).  

A forehead stigmata would ruin Cheryl’s exquisite eye make up so she went with the mascara-friendly hand-stigmata.  Further, neither Kevin nor Cheryl actually studied religion in any sort of way, so I think they actually don’t know about Crown of Thorns stigmata.  There’s also a very funny hidden joke in there about Cheryl secretly researching canonization between her first and last conversations with Kevin.  She starts the episode saying “being canonized is a life goal” of hers, but by the end she’s googled that the Catholic way of counting saints’ miracles starts with THEIR DEATH because it’s supposed to be proof that they’re in heaven, so she rolls her eyes at the idea of being “a living saint” like she knew this bit all along.  She also was confusing angels with saints (saints don’t get wings).  And in any case, she had such a good time during the masses that she and Kevin held that she’s decided she wants to be the Jesus/Jason herself rather than anointed by such.  What I’m not clear on however, is why they all went with Catholicism as the base, because Cheryl’s ecstatic, shivery “Queen of the Beeeeees” seemed much more charismatic revivalist sort of a thing. Maybe she’ll pivot in that direction. 

Sidebar: Penelope Blossom saying “Jason was a young man of few words” made me guffaw and then feel very bad for the actor cast to be Jason Blossom. What a weird job this must be. 

Second Sidebar: Did anyone else notice that Penelope can control fire? When she says STOP to rescue us from the Andrew Lloyd Musical medley that Cheryl & Kevin want to perpetuate, the fireplace roars in agreement. 

4. Reggie’s line deliveries were, each of them, absolutely delicious. I mean, Reggie has always been a dish but he’s got a knack for spicing things up! (I’m sorry I’ll stop with this now).  He’s SUCH a fun character.  And why is Hiram creating these intensely Freudian relationships with young people all the time?  Reggie wanted to be Hiram’s Son-He-Never-Had, but also has fucked both his daughters.   Reggie getting increasingly squeaky as he has to tell Veronica that he’s been with Hermosa was funny, and I was truly amused by the way he walked back into frame after that conversation with Hermosa like he’d just strained his groin muscle.  His jazzy slide into the seat that Hiram sat in for the auction for palladium doubloons was terrific but I wish it had been in focus.

5.  I love that the show insists Archie’s fate is to be always written about and presented to others in ways he doesn’t feel fit with who and how he really is.  He has to constantly cope with not matching up to what someone else wrote him as being.  The letters that his platoon’s men sent home about Archie indicate that this urge to write words about Archie is not unique to Jughead Jones.   I also wondered at the war-deads’ families acting like their brother or son was a puppy they left at Archie’s dogwalking service.  How the hell is a single sergeant supposed to determine whether an active combatant soldier makes it home or not?  But all that is pinned on Archie’s shoulders because he can’t help but inspire this hero-worship, protagonist-making scribbling. 

3 Things to Consider

a) One of the Götterdämmerung, things fall apart, bits could’ve been Archie’s disillusionment with the army.  That’s where it started, in this season, with the clearly villainous general and then the army censoring the free press, rewarding the wrong people, neglecting veterans and families of the war dead.  But I guess because this is Hollywood and you’re not allowed to say anything truly critical about the American military in a Hollywood production, UNCLE FUCKING FRANK has to say the line THE ARMY GOT IT RIGHT.  I hate Uncle Fucking Frank and how they use him.  Bringing him in at all was an act of cowardice and make-do by the show (they never quite know what to do with Archie so he needs some sort of daddy to talk things out with), and now he is the mouthpiece for this stupid piece of acquiescence to the military industrial complex. 

b)  Veronica is going through her own transition as well, but because Hiram has been such a monster in so many ways it’s a little hard to invest a lot of concern into her slow transition into becoming Hiram altogether.  She isn’t defeating her father, she’s becoming him.  Her consistent reliance on the eye-for-an-eye method of coping feels less than triumphant, even when she appears to ‘win.’

c) The show’s wry sharp commentary about writers, writing and publication continues.  Consider Cora - she had to stalk Jughead Jones, risk rejection by coming up to him in a bar, become a groupie, and then still had to rely on the sudden appearance of knee-cap breaking debt collectors to even make Jughead take (and not read) her manuscript.  And she missed having her work stolen from her wholesale by a hair - the last vestiges of Jughead Jones’ sense of self and morals, which he was only able to hang on to by the miracle that is the care and concern of one Tabitha Tate.

[amazingphanisnotonfire-imagines]

Riverdale//i didn’t realize how important you’d end up being

Request: Riverdale imagine the reader is from the Northside and is a Cooper and she changes her name when she's on the southside and she feels guilty for it but she didn't want her last name to be a problem for anyone bcuz of Alice and the Northside and either Sweet Pea finds out or Jughead is there and busts her and SP looses his temper and the reader feels bad and gives him a good explanation and Jughead too.

hey! i hope you like this!! it’s a little bit angsty at times and there’s a hint of a romance between the reader and sweet pea, but it has a happy ending and that’s really all that matters isn’t it? 

The moment you step foot over the threshold of The Wyrm, you can feel your heartbeat thumping in time with the loud music. Neon lights cast shadows over your skin and your face blends in with the crowd. It must be happy night tonight, because every time Betty has been, it’s been practically empty with only the regulars occupying the seats. 

Teenagers squash together in booths while older serpents sit at the bar and watch them carefully, just waiting for one of them to breathe the wrong way so they have an excuse to start a fight. 

Normally you wouldn’t be seen dead in a place like this. In fact, you would be better off dead if you’re mom caught you. You’ve seen the effect that her coldness has taken on Betty and even though she tries to remain nonchalant to practical abandonment, you know Betty’s just as upset as Alice is. They’re just too stubborn to talk to each other. 

But desperate times call for desperate measures, and with Betty locked in her room like Rapunzel, you’ve been sent on a suicide mission to find Jughead and tell him that she is currently unreachable. And if Jughead steps within 30 feet of the Cooper residence, Alice will kill on sight. 

A boy stumbles past you, his beer tipping over the edge of the glass as he tries to stay standing and you watch him drunkenly shouts across the room at a friend. A glass smashes from behind the bar and the people sat around groan collectively while watching a pink haired girl clean it up. 

You can see a lot of serpents, but none of them are the one that you want, making you huff loudly before spinning on your heel. You’re about to walk out and just ring him in hopes that he’ll actually answer his phone, but instead you walk straight into the chest of a very tall boy and now suddenly you feel the eyes of half the bar on you. 

“Sorry.” You dip your head down and try to move past him, but his hand grabs your arm, stopping you from going any further. ���What the fu-” 

“Who are you?” He cuts you off, clearly unaffected by your tone or the way you pull your arm from his grip. You’re the one that has to stop yourself rubbing the sore bit of skin while he just stares at you, a scowl growing on his lips as the seconds pass. 

“Y/n...Pool...table? I mean, Y/n Pool. I’m Y/n Pool. I’ve said my name too many times haven’t I?” You ramble. Guilt worms its way into your heart, forcing you to think about the repercussions of changing your name. You love your family of course, but The Coopers can be a bit intense, and the only one that isn’t well known for something is you. 

So maybe it was wrong of you to change it, but it’s not like you’re ever coming back here again, and it’s not like it’s an official name change. 

“I’m looking for Jughead.” You say when you notice him staring. He’s smirking at you and a heat creeps up your cheeks when you realize you must have been staring at him for an awfully long time. 

Oh God, what if he thinks you were checking him out? Okay, maybe that wouldn’t be a lie. 

“Why the hell would you want to hang out with Jones?” He asks, a snarl replacing the smirk as he stands up straighter. 

“I don’t want to hang out.” You roll your eyes. “You must be Sweet Pea.” You add and he looks at you confused. You’ve heard Jughead complaining about some guy named Sweet Pea for weeks now, and to be honest, it was boring the first time you heard it. So what someone doesn’t like him, he also doesn’t get along with many people. “I need to tell him something.” 

“And you had to come all the way here to tell him? Don’t you have a phone?” He teases, a small smile playing at his lips and you have to suppress your own. A black curl falls in front of his face and he pushes it back before looking you up and down. 

“I do.” You nod and try not to show just how flustered you are. “It’s just he doesn’t use his.” 

“Well I use mine, I could always give you my number and then whenever you need to tell him something, you can text me and I’ll tell him.” He suggests and you narrow your eyes suspiciously. 

“Why? Do you not want to see me around here anymore?” 

“Nope. I just wanted an excuse to get your phone number.” He replies making you choke on air. If the bar didn’t already feel crowded, it certainly does now. 

“Oh-” 

“Sweet Pea, stop flirting with-Y/n?” Jughead’s surprised tone thankfully stops the conversation from going any further and you quickly turn around to face the beanie-clad boy, a slightly awkward smile on your face. “No offence, but what exactly are you doing here?” He asks, leading you away from Sweet Pea who you’re sure looks slightly disappointed while watching the two of you leave.

You look at him one last time, sending him a wave and a small smile before disappearing through a set of doors. 

“Hey Jug. Betty wanted me to tell you-” You start talking, but you’re not listening to yourself. You’re too busy watching the doors and wondering if you’d ever see him again. 

---

There’s only one light in the parking lot of the Whyte Wyrm, and it’s been broken since before you started coming regularly. Normally it doesn’t bother you, the light from the neon sign outside is enough to light your way into the surprisingly welcoming bar. 

Tonight however, there’s no light. Not even the sign is lit up and as you make your way across the dusty parking lot, you can’t help the frown that pulls on your lips. You pull your jacket tighter to you and crane your neck to see if there’s anybody around. 

Usually the place is packed with old trucks, new bikes and at least a few people standing around. Either drunk and puking against the wall, or sober and trying to have a conversation with someone that they’ve bumped into. But tonight it’s empty. 

You pull your phone out, ready to text Sweet Pea to ask if he knows what’s going on. You’re hoping that it’s just a last minute serpent meeting, but a part of you fears that it’s something worse. 

Over the past few weeks, you’ve been in pretty regularly, mainly talking to Sweet Pea, and the thought that something bad could have happened and that he could possibly be involved is enough to make your heart skip a beat. 

“There’s no need to text.” Sweet Pea says and you let out a relieved sigh. Your face lights up as you watch him come out from the around the back of the bar, his breath visible in the chilly air and the hairs on the back of you neck stand as you watch him slowly approach you. 

Is this it? After weeks of flirting is he finally making the move? Your heartbeat pumps with excitement and you stand waiting for him to close the gap. Your palms are clammy and you shake them out a little, trying to get rid of the nervous energy that still seems to be clinging onto the moment. 

“Why didn’t you tell me you were a Northsider?” He asks and your eyes widen. “More importantly, a Cooper?” He adds and your face falls. He stares at you, an expectant look on his face as he waits for you to answer. If it wasn’t for the full moon, you wouldn’t be able to see the disappointment on his face, and for the first time in you’re life, you wish the moon would disappear. 

Without it you wouldn’t have to see the hurt and betrayal that he’s trying and failing to hide. 

“Yeah, Jughead told me? He said he never thought he’d see me take an interest in a Northsider, let alone a Cooper. And when I asked him what he meant he told me you were Betty’s sister.” He adds and you gulp. 

He stops a few feet away from you and your gaze drops to his muddy boots. You can’t quite force yourself to look at him. You knew as soon as you lied it would catch up with you at some point. Either he would find out or your mom would, and before you weren’t entirely sure which one is worse. 

Now you know though. Because you’re mom’s been upset with you before, in fact she kind of is at the minute because you’ve ben defending Betty and her choices a lot recently. You can deal with Alice Cooper being pissed at you. It’s something she is at least once a week. 

But this is far worse. The way that he’s looking at you makes you feel sick and if you could go back a month, you never would have set foot in the bar in the first place. You would have told Betty to just text her boyfriend like a normal person and then you’d never have to see him look at you like this. 

“I’m sorry.” You start and look up at him. But the look in his eyes make you stop and drop your gaze again. 

“Sorry?” He repeats. “You know, the worst thing is, is that I actually liked you. You just turned up one day and you were all awkward and you looked so lost in there, but you looked nice and for some weird reason I wanted to help you.” He sighs and runs a hand over his face. His curls fall in front of his eyes and you move step forward, your instant reaction being to move them for him but he takes a step away from you, leaving your hand awkwardly hanging in the air.

“Okay, I lied too. I bumped into you on purpose so I had an excuse to talk to you, but at least I didn’t change or hide myself. At least I was honest.” He says and tears pool in your eyes. 

“Okay, yeah. What I did was bad. But I didn’t murder anyone and that’s what you’re acting like. All I did was change my last name, but can you really blame me? If I’d said ‘hey, i’m y/n cooper’, would you have honestly given me your number? Or would you have kicked me out the of bar yourself?” You glare at him and now it’s his turn to avoid eye contact. 

“I know it was a shitty thing to do, but I know what my mom is like and I know what her and the rest of the town have put you through. I just, I didn’t want to be associated with them. I was only supposed to be here to tell Jughead something and then I was never gonna come back. I didn’t think it would be worth the hassle of me telling you I’m not only a Northsider, but a Cooper too, all for two minutes of conversation.” You argue and stomp towards him. “So, I’m sorry. But at the time I didn’t realize how important you’d end up being to me so I thought it would be ok-what?” 

“I’m important to you?” He asks, his eyes wide and you feel your cheeks heat up at the confession. 

“Of course I do.” You say, your voice a lot softer. You dare to reach out for his hand and he lets you take it. “This past month I have been the happiest I have ever been and that’s because of you.” 

“It’s okay.” He nods. “I lied too. I don’t really use my phone.” He shrugs and you send him a look. “Okay, I lied again. I’m never off my phone. Now we’re even. Now I have a very important question that must be answered immediately.” 

“Go ahead.” 

“Do you even know how to play pool?” He asks and you shake your head with an embarrassed smile. “Come on, I’ll show you how to play.” He says and leads you to the front door of The Wyrm. 

“It looks closed.” You stop and stare at him confused. “Should we be going in?” 

“It’s okay. If we get caught you can just tell them you’re really convincing fake name and then we’ll just be able to leave.” He says. Your jaw drops as you stare at him annoyed before a loud laugh leaves your lips and you shove him. 

“You’re an ass!” 

“And you’re a liar.” He replies, his tone happy as he dances down the stairs. “Are you coming?” He asks from the bottom of them. “Y/n Pool...table? Hey if you were to marry a pool player that would be so cute!” 

✨taglist ✨

@popcrone818 @teenloves @kpopgirlbtssvt

support my writing! if you want! 

[heytherejulietx]

Im gonna combine. Bughead + Hogwarts and Soulmates

Never Had Enough Time - Bughead

Masterlists

Requests open!

Read on AO3 here!

Notes - So uh, I apologise in advance for this. It was way sadder than I originally intended it to be - I think I went a bit overboard since I haven’t written anything Hogwarts related since Christmas. But enjoy. And I’m sorry Sara. :)

Prompts - Hogwarts / Soulmate AU.

Warnings - Major character death, death, brief mention of suicidal thoughts, battle.

Word count - 3.5k.

Riverdale tag list - @bucky-j-barnes @adorably-sweet-hufflepuff @kpopgirlbtssvt @booksmusicteaandanimals @happy-puff @cheryllclayton @jesso80 @dietbreadloaf @thebluetint @lilireinhartsimp @camiczzzz @bitchy-broken @crazyninjalight @luella-cane @literarygetaway21 @hopeversusillusions @bc-jh22 @happygmc8

To join my tag list fill out this form.

From the moment he’d started being friends with Betty, Jughead knew that she was his soulmate. There was no way that she couldn’t be. The sweet Hufflepuff girl who had woven her way into his heart by the middle of their first year was his absolute favourite person; she meant the world to him. The way that Soulmates had been taught to them in class matched up with everything he felt with Betty. The adoration, the comfort, the longing to always be with her. It was a way that he had never imagined he could feel about someone before he had met her.

So when it was nearing his sixteenth birthday he knew his theory about them being soulmates would be proven with the timer that would appear on his wrist. He wasn’t so fussed about the timer itself; the countdown to when his soulmate would die hadn’t even crossed his mind as he couldn’t ever imagine losing Betty. He could picture them somewhere away from Hogwarts married and living together; happy. She couldn’t die before they were grey haired and had grandchildren and had lived an amazing life together. No, he wasn’t worried about that. He was just excited to see the timer on his wrist, the timer that would only appear if he had met his soulmate.

He had waited for it the whole of September before his birthday, excitedly talking with Betty about how it could finally be confirmed that they were soulmates. He could picture her excited smile perfectly as he thought about it; the way her giant green eyes lit up as she looked up at him with her huge beautiful smile. She was perfect.

When he woke up on the morning of his birthday, after Sweet Pea had hit him with his pillow on his way out of the dormitories with a shout of “happy birthday, Jones”, as soon as he was coherent enough to do so he sat up and looked down at his wrist.

And his heart fell into his stomach as the air was knocked out of his lungs.

Betty Cooper - 1 year, 238 days.

He didn’t even realise he was shaking until his arm was moving so much that he could barely read the writing embedded into his wrist. It had to be wrong, there was no way that it could be true. Betty couldn’t die, she just couldn’t. It was impossible that someone so perfect and sweet and angelic could just die. There had to be a mistake with the timer, it had to be wrong.

With his eyes blurring with tears he lifted up his hand and harshly rubbed the skin of his wrist, as if he could rub away some sort of mistake. He rubbed the skin until it was red and sore, though nothing changed.

Betty had a year left of her life.

It took him almost an hour before he could show his face from his dorm and head down to the Great Hall. He’d managed to convince himself that the timer was wrong, and later in the day he’d find a book about it in the library. But he had to show his face at some point, aside from Christmas his birthday was one of Betty’s favourite days, and he had to see her. Especially since he might not have that much time left with her.

When she spotted him walking into the Great Hall she immediately sat up with a smile, and it caused his chest to ache to see her so happy now that he knew the time she had left.

Jughead had decided that Betty couldn’t know. He didn’t want her to live the last of her life in fear of when and how she would die. He wanted her to be happy and to enjoy herself. She only deserved to be happy from that moment onwards.

“Hey, what took you so long?” Betty asked as he walked towards the Hufflepuff table as usual, taking his normal seat beside her with a false smile so she wouldn’t know something was wrong.

“Sorry, slept in.” Jughead somehow managed to fake a smile as he put his arm around her once he was seated, dropping a kiss to her forehead which caused her to blush pink and smile bashfully at the action.

“Happy Birthday!” Betty smiled fondly as she moved her arms around his waist, and he smiled a little genuinely as he felt the warmth coming from her body. “So, what does it say?” She gestured to his wrist and he almost blanched.

Nobody but him could see the timer, to make it that much worse, so he had to keep it to himself.

“We’re definitely soulmates.” He smiled slightly, and Betty grinned as she hugged him that much tighter, giggling into his robe as he tried to hug her back.

“I knew it! That’s great! It’s official!” Betty grinned, and he had to try not to break down as he hugged her back, resting his chin on the top of her head as he closed his eyes.

-

In the time from his birthday to Betty’s, Jughead had done everything to try to figure out what could be wrong with his tattoo. With every book he read and every wizard or witch he spoke to, the answer was always the same; the timer was never wrong. After a few days of looking at it he couldn’t bare it anymore, so he constantly kept a black band covering his timer so he could never see it. It hurt too much to even think about.

As her birthday grew closer, Jughead was hoping for another option. If she was going to die so soon, he wanted to as well. He couldn’t live when she wasn’t around. It physically hurt him to think about having to live through her death and carry on while she was gone. If she was going to die, so would he.

Jughead was almost more nervous for her birthday than he had been for his own. Every time her timer was brought up he only had one thought.

Please let mine be the same as hers. Please let me die too.

But on her birthday morning when he walked into the great hall and met her beaming smile from the Hufflepuff table, his heart fell again and he knew that he wouldn’t get the luxury of dying with her.

“Seventy-six years!” Betty had assured his worst thought as he sat down, and he almost threw up. Seventy five years without her was like his own personal hell.

-

Jughead did everything he could to make Betty happy.

He took her to Hogsmeade, he stayed with her and her family at Christmas, and during school was always found by her side. And with every day that passed it ended with his terrible thoughts reminding him that it was all just leading one day closer to her death.

During summer at the end of his sixth year, he knew that he couldn’t go any longer without letting Betty know how he truly felt. All of the love he had for her, that of course she shared as they were soulmates - he had to act on it.

They always had a booth to themselves on the Hogwarts Express at the back of the train; away from loud students and loose pets and Weasley Wizard Wheezes pranks that could probably set them on fire (he’d seen it happen to Sweet Pea once). He always gave Betty the window seat because he knew that she liked to watch the scenery blur by when she wasn’t looking at him.

They’d been on the train for ten minutes and he was a nervous wreck. His palms were sweating and suddenly his tie felt too tight around his neck and he could hear his heartbeat in his ears. It shouldn’t be that hard; they were soulmates for Merlin’s sake, of course she wasn’t going to not like him.

Taking in a deep breath he turned to face Betty, meeting her wide green eyes with his blue ones.

“Betts?” He asked, and she smiled as she hummed and tilted her head a little in questioning.

He swallowed and paused. He physically couldn’t make himself say anything, it was like his lips were glued shut. Instead of trying to force out some words, which he knew would just end in a bunch of word vomit which wouldn’t seem very lovely at all, he lifted his hand up and placed it on her cheek, giving her time to pull away if she wanted, before he leaned in and kissed her. And she kissed him back.

It was like bliss. The air almost completely left his lungs when she felt her smile pressed against his lips, and her hands against his neck as she pulled herself closer to him. She tasted like strawberry lip balm and lemon sherbet and she was so close he could smell her vanilla perfume. It was all making him light-headed.

He pulled away after a moment, and sighed softly as his forehead just pressed against hers. She was warm against his skin as her hand grasped his, and he had to smile as he let his lips press to her temple before he mumbled against her skin quietly in a hushed tone.

“I love you.”

Her dainty hand squeezed his back, and he looked down to meet her eyes and soft smile. “I love you too, Juggie.”

-

After that, he couldn’t be separated from her. He spent practically all summer with the Coopers - a weird experience on his end as Betty was a muggleborn, and Jughead was a pureblood so he had only ever known magical households - and when they were back at school he spent all of his possible time with her. He only wanted to make her happy; to make sure that she would have the best possible year of her life.

With each day that passed he felt more and more sick at the thought of losing her, and the thought of being left without her. He found himself getting more and more upset as the days passed, and often cried himself to sleep every night at the thought of what was to come the following May. Though he never once let Betty see - he didn’t want her to find out and ruin the last few months she had left of her life.

“I really need to get going to bed, if I get caught out after hours I’ll be in trouble.” Betty giggled as Jughead tried to kiss her again, and wriggled out from his arms so she could stand up from the couch in the Slytherin common room. If she was caught out after hours she would be more than just in trouble - with Professor Snape taking the place of Albus Dumbledore, Hogwarts had been all but miserable, and even dangerous for students who went out of line. Though Jughead had given Betty every single secret passage and shortcut through Hogwarts that he knew so she could get back to the Hufflepuff dormitories safely.

Jughead pouted playfully and Betty laughed softly again, a sound that marked him smile.

“I’ll see you in the morning, okay?” Betty smiled, and Jughead nodded as he reached forwards to take her hands, using them to pull her down just enough so that he could kiss her for a long moment.

By the time he pulled away her cheeks were flushed pink and she was smiling a little flustered, and he couldn’t help but be stunned by how beautiful she was.

“Okay. Goodnight Betty. I love you.”

“I love you too.” Betty smiled and gently squeezed his hand before she walked towards the exit of the common room, blowing him a kiss before she left.

And then he was alone. Things were so much worse when he was alone.

Jughead didn’t move from his place on the couch, and just let his head fall into his hands as his eyes closed. Another day passed, one closer until the twenty-eighth of May, when Betty was going to die.

He didn’t even realise he was crying until his throat was thick and his palms were wet against his face. Jughead wasn’t even sure he could make it to May. It was killing him on the inside knowing that Betty was going to die. Part of him still wanted to believe it wasn’t true, but deep down he knew it couldn’t be stopped.

“Jones?”

Jughead looked up through his fingers at the voice, taking in a deep breath to calm himself, though just sighed when he saw Toni hovering by the couch.

Slytherin’s head girl Toni Topaz was probably one of his closest friends. And she was the only other person who knew about Betty’s timer.

“Are you here to kick me up to bed?” Jughead mumbled into his hands with a quiet sniffle, and let his head drop back down into his hands as he heard Toni sigh.

He felt the couch dip beside him before her arm wrapped around him, and he started crying again. Toni didn’t say anything as she rubbed his back, and Jughead appreciated the silent comfort she gave. There was no point in talking about it, because nothing was going to change. Nothing that anybody could say would change what would happen. Betty was going to die and nothing would change it.

-

The rest of the year came and went all too quickly. And as time passed, life at Hogwarts only got worse under the new headmaster. Though even in the darkest of times, Betty still managed to stay positive and happy. Jughead made sure to be with her as often as he could, and one thing he had to credit her for was how she was always so optimistic, even in the darkest of times. Even when they had experienced the most awful day, Betty still managed to make him smile. And it made him fall in love with her even more.

May came too quick, and Jughead spent every second with her. He even resorted to staying in the Hufflepuff dorms with her (after everyone had gone to sleep so he wouldn’t be caught) and even willingly went through his punishment of the Cruciatus Curse when he got caught. Twice. He didn’t tell Betty about that, though, because he would go through it a hundred times just to spend the last month or her life with her.

He walked and met her from every class, ate meals with her, slept with her; he made sure she would be happy.

And then everything went to hell.

Jughead hadn’t even remembered how it had all started, he had been so focused on watching the timer on his wrist go to just hours left, but Hogwarts was being attacked. Severely.

Everything was a mess. Teachers and advanced students were heading out to fight the Death Eaters and countless evil creatures that were breaking into the castle. But none of that mattered to Jughead, as the timer on his wrist changed from hours to minutes; he couldn’t find Betty.

He ran through the castle, avoiding blasts and curses being shot his way that he quickly deflected, despite some injury that came to his way. He met with Toni at the top of the staircase, and after a conversation with her, she told him she had seen Betty in the courtyard.

His legs had never moved so fast as they did in that moment, rushing against the clock to be with her as the timer scrolled down to just ten minutes. Jughead felt sick to his stomach as he ran, pushing past the ache in his body just to be with her. He knew what he had to do.

He caught a sight of blonde hair in the courtyard as five minutes and yelled her name, catching her in his arms as soon as he had reached her.

Betty was sobbing into his robes as she gripped onto him and he held her tightly, promising that it would all be okay. She leaned back from his chest, with tear-stained cheeks and a cut along her eyebrow, and gripped his collar tightly as she leaned up to kiss him. Their last kiss.

Two minutes came around and his hand gripped hers tightly as they ran inside, both of them deflecting any curses that came their way. He didn’t once let go of her hand as he pulled her through the castle, stopping underneath one of the staircase where they couldn’t be seen from one angle.

One minute came and Jughead dropped his wand as he pulled Betty into her arms, kissing her at least five times as he held her tightly, tears in his own eyes. “I love you so much.” He whispered into her hair, and she gripped onto him tightly.

“I love you too Juggie.” Betty whimpered, her eyes meeting his, before they widened as she looked past him at a Death Eater that was stood there, his wand pointed right at her.

Everything went too quick, a blur of colours and actions. The green curse blasted out from his wand right towards Betty, and Jughead held his breath as he moved quickly; pushing Betty out of the way right in time for the green curse to hit him instead.

-

“Jughead!” Toni yelled as she grabbed his arm, stopping him from where he was running to.

His eyes were wide and panicked as he stumbled a little, stopping as her smaller hand grabbed his arm. He didn’t have time for this, he needed to find Betty before it was too late.

“Toni I can’t- Betty-“

“That’s what I need to talk to you about!” Toni rushed, pulling him behind a wall so they could have some safety. “I know it’s today, Jughead, I’ve been trying to find you all day! I found a book in the restricted section that spoke about soulmates and the timer, and it says that someone can take the place of their soulmate and swap their timers if they die instead of them!”

Jughead felt all the air leave his lungs at the news. Betty could live instead of him. Betty could live.

“You have to be with her! I saw her in the courtyard!”

Jughead quickly pulled Toni into a hug, knowing it would be the last time she ever saw him. He mumbled a goodbye against her head and tried to ignore the way she was crying as he pulled back from the hug and ran towards the courtyard to find Betty.

-

His body dropped to the floor and Betty screamed. She didn’t see the spell cast towards the Death Eater that killed them so she didn’t die too, all she could see was Jughead crumpled on the floor.

“No no no, Jug!” Betty screamed as she fell on her knees by his side, her hands cupping his cheeks. He couldn’t die. He still had so many years left. He wasn’t dead.

But when she glanced at her arm the timer had changed. It had one number - zero.

She was shaking as she gripped onto his robes, tears flooding down her cheeks as she cried his name. The battle around her was far from her mind as she shook his body, his limp body not moving no matter how hard she shook him.

Once the battle was over, and his body had been moved to the Great Hall with all of the other bodies, Toni found Betty kneeling by his body. The head girl took a seat beside the Hufflepuff and told her everything; about Jughead’s timer, how badly he had felt for the past year, how she had told him he could die instead. Betty didn’t know what to say in response - she couldn’t say anything. It all hurt too much to try to even talk about it. Toni held her as she started crying again, allowing the blonde to sob into her shoulder as she continued gripping onto Jughead’s now cold hand.

Betty had imagined their lives one day in the future. They would have a house in the English countryside with two boys that looked just like Jughead and a ginger cat that slept on the end of their bed. Their house would always be full of laughter and joy, and they would both love each other as much then as they did when they were teenagers.

But that would never happen, Betty realised with a pain in her chest that was worse than any of those curses that she could have been hit with. They never had enough time.

[just-another-ficwriter]

Seconds To Midnight

Pairing: Sweet Pea x Reader

Words: 2400ish

Warnings: Underage drinking, a lil heart break, pregnancy 

Summary: Y/N and Sweet Pea share a lifetime of New Year’s together, some better than others.

Notes: Filling my ‘Midnight Kiss’ square on my @riverdalebingo​ card! The next few days are gonna be a flurry of super late Christmas Eve/New Years posts as I attempt to catch up!

10...

They still can’t believe they’ve convinced their parents to let them stay up passed midnight. Not even when the five of them are crammed into a booth at the Wyrm arguing over a pack of cards and sharing bottles of soda way past their usual 10 year old bedtimes.

By the time the ball drops, Jug’s already asleep, the cheering from around the bar barely making him stir. Fangs and Toni decide to mock the adults around them, pouting at each other and making ‘kissy’ noises. Y/N laughs along with them, pretending to gag, but Sweet Pea doesn’t miss the way she blushes when she looks over at Gladys and FP once more.

A tint that deepens a dark red when he leans over and places a quick peck to her cheek.

“Happy New Year Y/N.” He whispers, thankful that the others are still too distracted to notice.

“Happy New Year Pea.”

9...

By the time they’re 13, they care a little less about their parents permission, opting to swap the warmth of the Wyrm’s crowds, for the back of Fang’s brothers truck, at the edge of the car park instead. The same way Jughead’s opted to switch them for Archie Andrews and Betty Cooper.

The huddle together for warmth, gazing up at the stars, and even though no one will admit it for a fear of being deemed ‘uncool’, everyone’s excited for the burst of fireworks about to come.

When the first explosion sounds off, Sweet Pea misses the look Toni gives him, her eyes switching fiercely between him and Y/N.

But she doesn’t give up.

“I dare the two of you to kiss.” She blurts out the challenge, and Sweet Pea hears Y/N suck in a breath beside him.

“What?” He chokes on the word, eyes casting from her down to his lap, not missing the way Y/N’s leg brushes against his, suddenly aware of how close they’d been sitting.

“It’s midnight.” His best friend shrugs, the streak of bright pink hair falling off her shoulder. He can still remember her Grandmother’s face the first time she’d seen it, Toni’s first act of outright defiance. “You have to kiss someone.”

“Then you kiss Fangs.” Sweet Pea’s hand gestures wildly between the two of them, both gagging in unison. 

“That would be like kissing my sister.” Fangs’ nose scrunches up with the statement, and Y/N can’t help but laugh.

“But-“

His fight is already lost, now three against one as the girl besides him sits up straighter, rolls her eyes and simply grabs his face. “Oh Pea, just shut up and kiss me!”

He’s too distracted by the warmth of her palm against his skin, feather light fingertips dancing across his cheek, to see her closing the gap between them. 

He sees fireworks even when he closes his eyes.

8...

At 15, Y/N’s forced to spend New Years at her grandparents. Their first one apart in 6 years and Sweet Pea feels her lack of presence more with every passing second.

He misses her when Toni talks about last years celebrations and sneaking on the Wrym’s roof, when she text him early so her words don’t get caught in a signal back log, when he sees Jug squeeze Betty’s hand.

He wishes she was there to share the beers Fangs has managed to steal for them and make fun of the way Archie follows Veronica around like a lost puppy, wondering how their two opposite friendship groups somehow became intertwined to ring in the new year. 

And when the count down ends, he watches as Toni kisses Ginger, turning to tell Y/N she owes him $5, before remembering she’s not there. His heart sinks a little a further as he struggles to understand the feeling swarming in his head.

He’s not interested in the fireworks that year.

7...

When they’re 17, everything just goes wrong.

They’re at their first official New Year’s Party, thrown by none other than Cheryl Blossom, as they desperately cling onto the last parts of their high school selves, months before they all leave the town behind and disappear to different colleges.

Some partying to celebrate the year that everything changes, others to forget what lays ahead.

They dance too much, they laugh too hard, they drink more than they should.

One minute she’s in front of Sweet Pea, the next she’s gone.

The panic sets in, once the ball drops, and he only catches a glimpse of her over Josie’s head once the singer starts pulling him towards her. Y/N laughs at something Reggie Mantle whispers in her ear, the sound piercing into Sweet Pea’s lungs.

He hadn’t planned on kissing her at midnight, yet now it’s he can think about.

But he’s too late. 

He’d never make it in time, not with Josie hanging onto his arms. Not with the way Reggie’s already leaning in to do the one thing he’s always been to afraid to do. 

He wants to look away, but he can’t, even when he’s sure his heart won’t take it. He watches as Reggie’s lips press firmly against hers, watches the way she kiss him back and does the one thing that would stop him screaming out over the crowd. 

He kisses Josie and pretends it her.

Her eyes blaze like fires when he finds them again, and Sweet Pea doesn’t see it back then but everything changed in that swift couple of seconds, a silent, wordless disagreement that tears them apart.

Distance grows between them, not just physically as she leaves to chase her dreams in New York City and he stays, ever attached to Riverdale.

His heart shatters at the thought of the next New Years Eve without her.

But thinks maybe its for the best.

6...

“Y/N will be there.”

Sweet Pea still declines the invite politely, but he can tell by the triumphant glint in Toni’s eyes that she knows she’s won.

There’s no way he’d turn down the opportunity of even a glance at his former best friend after three years. 

So he finds himself dressed to the nines, hiding away on the rooftop of Toni and Cheryl's penthouse apartment, because of course they have one of the best views in New York, trying to forget the image of her dressed in red. 

It doesn’t take her long to find him, and he doesn’t need to turn around to know it’s her creeping up behind him. He can feel her presence the minute she steps out, like it’s coded in his DNA. He hates it as much as he loves it.

“Hi.” She breathes out the greeting, tiptoeing across the unsteady ground between them. It’s the first words she uttered towards him since she left for college and the sound makes his heart sing. 

“Hi.” He parrots back, there's so much more he wants to say but that's all he can manage. Her eyes meet his, locked together, unaware of the countdown being called out below.

And then she laughs.

And he does too. 

Laughs over the stupidity of it all, laughs because its them, laughs until it hurts, until the fireworks explode around them surprising them both back to silence.

“I’ve missed you.” He feels her hand close over his, fingers squeezing his tight.

He feels like he can breathe for the first time in a long time. “I’ve missed you too.”

5...

This time its him that finds her on the roof, eerily similar to their moment two years prior. 

They’ve been trying for the last few years, piecing the remains of their broken friendship back together. But it’s not enough.

Not for him. 

Maybe not for her.

The thought rips through him, his chest exploding with pain, and need, he has to tell her. He can’t wait any longer. 

The idea alone burns its way into his lungs until he can’t breathe, until he can’t think straight.

“I love you.” The words slip out the same time the noise below them erupts into a chorus of the number ten. He can hear it all around him, from people in the building next door, from people down the street.

She just stares at him, eyes wide with a hint of something he doesn’t quite understand.

“You don’t have to say it back.” He panics, trips over his words and the way she looks at him. “I just want you to know.”

He’s whispering into the dark, but she can hear him, over the chanting, over the beating of her own heart drumming clear in her ears.

“I just love you.” He falls into a spiral, confessions pouring out as he plunges downwards like the countdown under their feet. “I always have, I probably always will.”

And as the ball drops, and the crowd underneath explodes in cheers, their friends, she’s suddenly pulled back into reality.

Her eyes soften at the sight before her, Sweet Pea’s bashful grin luminated by the glow of the fireworks in the distance, their light dancing off his skin.

And she does the first that comes to her mind, the only thing she’s wanted to do every New Year’s Eve since she met him.

She kisses him.

4...

At 25 they find themselves back on the roof. 

That roof.

Their roof.

A location so sentimental to their relationship. 

Relationship. 

The word feels so weird in Sweet Pea’s thoughts, the concept of her being his girlfriend still so foreign to him, still so unreal, even after three years.

He loves her. 

More than he’s loved anything ever before in his life, he’s sure of it. And he’s sure she loves him too, even if sometimes he doesn’t understand why, but lord knows she does.

Which is why he finds himself down on one knee, velvet ring box held tightly in his shaking hand, surrounded by candle light and rose petals that float in the wind. He can feel wet tears streaking lines down his cheeks that mirror her own as she nods out her answer, not trusting her own voice before she pounces at him. 

His back hits the floor the same time fireworks light up the skyline and his heart swells in bliss when she slips the ring onto her finger, a perfect fit.

“Did she say yes?” Fangs calls from across the roof, head peering around the door, Toni just behind.

“She said yes!” Sweet Pea sings back, a permanent grin on his face. 

It’s only seconds later the two dive on the couple still sprawled out on the floor, four sets of limbs, four sounds of laughter, embracing in celebration.

3...

The tell tale signs are there all night, he doesn’t understand how he didn’t see it sooner.

She professional switches out her vodka orange for plain juice, gags at her usual favourite fancy foods that Cheryl and Toni insist on serving every year, and has ran to the bathroom more than once in the last three hours.

But he doesn’t fit the puzzle pieces together.

Not even when she slots her hand in his, half guiding, half pulling him towards the roof and presents him a neatly wrapped gift once they’re surrounded by cold night air.

It’s only right she thinks, to tell him here, on the very roof top he confessed his love, where he asked her to be his wife only a year before. It has to be here he finds out this too.

He stares, confused down at the box held in his hands, feeling guilty that he has nothing to give her. She laughs at him, a sound that still sets his heart alight as she encourages him to open it quick.

The excitement takes over, racing to reveal its contents before the countdown sounding below hits 1, his fingers make light work of the paper.

When he lifts the lid of the box he’s sure he’s stopped breathing.

This can’t be real.

Two blue lines stare back at him, clear at the dead of midnight and he chokes out a sob.

“You’re?...” He can’t finish the sentence, can’t get his tongue to move and say the words. Her eyes glisten with unshed tears, nodding her head in confirmation.

He can’t help but drop to his knees, his hands gently cradling her barely there bump, his heart so full of love.

“I’m gonna be a Dad.”

2...

Of course they get married on New Year’s Eve.

It’s their day, no matter how much Toni and Fangs tease them about it. But their friends draw the line at a roof top wedding.

Sweet Pea can’t describe the day as anything other than a god damn dream.

He’s wanted this for so long it’s hard to believe it’s actually happening.

She looks a vision in white, too good to be true and he couldn’t ask for anything more.

As he twirls his now wife in his arms, their baby girl nested up against Toni’s chest just a few feet away, he’s so overwhelmed with love that he can’t help but cry.

It starts as a gentle shake from his chest, vibrating through his shoulders before the tears fall fast and he has to hide his face in her hair.

Tears pool in her own eyes as she pulls him closer, whispers how much she adores him into his neck, claims she’s the luckiest woman in the world.

He’s not afraid to admit this might be his favourite New Years Eve.

1...

At 30 there’s no lavish parties.

No roof top confessions, no pregnancy announcements, no engagements, no Wrym.

Just them and their closest friends sprawled out in their living room, discarded pizza boxes on the coffee table, their three year old asleep upstairs.

And when those around them start counting down, Sweet Pea cups her cheek, tilts her head towards his so he can see her eyes staring back.

“I love you.” He whispers, so honestly, so raw. He feels her smile into the kiss that comes next. He doesn’t care that his friends might see them, not like that shy ten year old hidden in a booth 20 years ago daring to plant a peck on his best friends cheek. No, he wants everyone to see how happy his is now, how far they’ve come. “Happy New Year Y/N.”

“Happy New Year Pea.”

Riverdale Bingo Holiday Masterlist

Forever Taglist: @p-marie-sp

Sweet Pea Taglist: @80sand90simagine @wildberryyyy @hopelesslylosttheway @be-gay-do-crime-cutie

[bossbex]

5x05 Reaction

WOW it’s been a while since I did an episode reaction post.  I’M EXCITED ABOUT THIS SHOW AGAIN!!!

The bughead walk home.  I liked this! I liked how it was awkward.  WHAT WAS IN THE VOICEMAIL??? Does Jughead even know what’s in the voicemail? 

Varchie walk home.  Cute! Friendly.  Was getting zero romantic, or even tense vibes.  He tells her that he hasn’t been in a relationship since her, which completely makes sense considering he’s been in the army since high school.  He didn’t say he hasn’t been with anyone, just that he hasn’t been in a relationship.  

Ok how old are the twins? Shouldn’t they be like 10? Alice is talking about them like they’re babies lmao “shhh, I just got them down”

Poor sad Jug.  I actually really like this turn for him... reminds me of S1 Jughead which was honestly the last time I really loved his character?? And obviously they are setting him up to be at his lowest so he can only go up from here (with a few bumps, probably) 

Kevin and Betty friendship YES!!! HOW is Betty only going through Charles’ stuff NOW, 7 years later after he was discovered to be a serial killer? I know it’s obviously just so she can play the Polly tape which is relevant to the plot of this episode and we shouldn’t be asking more questions but COME ON

Veronica and Hiram... this seems... repetitive... but I liked what happened with her character by the end of this episode. 

BOSS TONI I AM OBSESSED!!! And I love that they are all mad about his book, it’s great.  “You mean, the Vipers?” LMAO

AND MORE BOSS TONI!!! THEY’VE BEEN WASTING HER FOR 3 SEASONS SHE IS AMAZING

And Archie back to savior mode, we love to see it.  

Jugitha? Tabhead? I like their banter.  I’m into it.  I’m just really hoping that they don’t use another WOC as a plot device for Jughead to get back with Betty. If it happens, make it meaningful.  

MORE BOSS TONI!!! I love that Toni has never once strayed from her morals... no amount of money is going to make her screw over a bunch of students and work for Hiram lodge. 

“It used to be Kevin and I would sneak peaks through that window, hoping you were shirtless” BETTY YOU ARE SHAMELESS (also I absolutely LOVE a pilot reference) 

Wtf is Reggie doing.  Will he have a redemption arc? I really hope so! Like that he was blackmailed into working for Hiram and he is protecting his family in some way? Or something? Or maybe they have decided that he’s just “bad” now.  His hair is certainly bad...

Ok so Veronica is looking at getting a job as a... sports agent?? In LA?? Ok, Riverdale.  Sure.  And I guess she’s just done with Chad? Which ok, sure, that guy’s awful.  

SMITHERS LIVES!!!!!!!!!!

Lmao of course Monica Posh is back.  And this guy just casually has $30K cash laying around? Sounds legit.  

Ok I really thought the Betty gun scene was going to be Archie but turns out it’s Polly! Which I am happy to see!!! So it seems like Alice and Polly are bitter with Betty for “abandoning” them... which like, I don’t think that going to school and getting a job in a different state is “abandoning” your family.  But it does sound like Betty doesn’t call much and basically hasn’t been back to Riverdale since she left for college? Which is like... kinda shitty.  I wonder if that will be delved into a bit more.  Oh, who am I kidding, I know what show I’m watching.  

Toni at the Cooper house? Toni and Alice team up?? We love to see it!!!  

Ok Jughead lying about staying at the 5 seasons and actually staying in the bunker is just the saddest thing ever.  

Ok, I LOVE Tabitha?? “I think I’d remember a weird-ass name like that” LMAO. I Also love that she called the guy “pumpkin” in response to him calling her “sweetie” lol.  So good.  

Veggie comeback?? I miss them!!! But his hair... I can’t get past his hair. 

I actually love this plot point with Polly being involved with the Ghoulies and that being what gets Betty passionate about the raid (she had already offered help but now she’s IN)

The Betty and Archie arm touch? “You good?” I CAN’T

Can Kevin ever say a line without being interrupted? That’s just a running gag now lol.  I did enjoy the Succession reference though.  AND MORE BOSS TONI like seriously it’s so good.  

Ok I love how the plot point of Riverdale “going private” exists solely to allow all the main characters to become teachers there without having any teaching qualifications whatsoever LMAO.  Sure yes ok.  

I feel like Veronica should be asking her mom for help with Chad and not her dad? Wouldn’t she be more experienced in that side of things? Oh wait, we’re not supposed to ask questions about logic of storylines.  I do like the Hiram refused her help and brought up the scene “7 years ago” where she compared him to a dog, lol.  

Ok I feel like Betty is justified in questioning Polly about lying about where she’s working at the drugs (and since when has she ever done anything sensitively or discreetly?) and Polly is also justified in being defensive about it and thinking it’s none of Betty’s business since she hasn’t been around.  You know who’s business it IS, though? ALICE’S!!! Maybe Alice is overcompensating for sending Polly to SoQM years ago but she is all kinds of enabling her now.  

BARCHIEEEEEEEEEEEEE I could write a whole post on this.  Maybe I should? THE TENSION!! THE AKWARDNESS!!! “Cool” ---ARCHIE WAS SO NERVOUS WITH HER!!! THE SHOWER!!! OF COURSE BETTY CAN’T GO NEXT DOOR AND SHOWER AT HOME THAT WOULD BE TOO LOGICAL!!! THE LOOK THEY GIVE EACH OTHER THEY BOTH JUST FUCKING KNOW!!! THAT WAS SUCH A LONG AND EXPLICIT SEX SCENE FOR THE CW!!!!!! I KNEW IT WAS COMING FROM THE PROMO BUT I WAS STILL NOT READY!!!

Ok I’ve caught my breath... thoughts on this: 

This was LONG overdue.  I thought it was perfect.  They are adults, they both wanted each other, there was absolutely nothing in their way, and the show made sure that there was NO ambiguity about what they were doing.  They fucked in the shower, that’s it.  Some other notes - Betty twice in this episode talks about how Archie hasn’t changed - he is STILL the boy she has loved since she was a kid.

AND THEN THE CONVERSATION IMMEDIATELY AFTER!!! This show would normally not even have the characters address it.  We would have gone straight to the Pop’s scene with no discussion. “Something we’ve been wanting to do since high school but never got around to” I SCREAMED.  And their SMILES they are both so happy. I LOVED THIS!!! So we’re getting FWB barchie, great, I’m here for it.  You can see though, by both of their expressions, it’s more than that for both of them.  BETTY’S LIP BITE AT THE END GIRL IS IN LOOOOOVE

Jug’s speech at the retirement party was really good.  

Ok this Choni scene is just lovely.  They are both so soft I’M CRYING. “If our love ever meant anything to you, help us” SOB. 

Betty is the first one to agree to help Archie, noted.

Uh oh, Jughead is going to get in trouble again for writing about all his friends.  Or will he dig his way out of this? 

One last barchie moment TEXTING they are SICK

Jughead and Archie roomies!!! I love this!!! So much potential for tension and akwardness!! 

TL;DR - this episode was GREAT, barchie is HOT, and Toni is BOSS, this dynamic change up was NEEDED

[bibuckaroo]

okay, so i did continue my riverdale rewatch, even thought i’m still pretty bummed about how things turned out, but it’s always nice to remember that barchie still has the best storyline in terms of romance, so here we go with 1x02 highlights:

first of all can we talk about how cute it is that when archie is restless and can’t sleep the first thing he does is turn to betty??? like, my boy is whipped and needs her comfort!!!

buuuut as we all know she refused to talk to him (AS SHE SHOULD, WE NEED MORE MOMENTS) and even went as far as to shut the blinds in her windows, meanwhile archie was just looking at her like this 🥺

theeen we have the “normal” interaction between alice and betty and alice was just forbidding betty to do anything and b completing her sentence with “no archie” my girl was truly here lying to her own mother after that boy broke her heart, because she still wanted him in her life, i just can’t with that!!!

cut to archie opening his door and there betty is with the sun shining on her, the biggest smile on her face and “walk me to school?” not breaking their tradition and my boy looks like he just got the air punched out of his lungs by just seeing her there (which, like, same, it’s betty cooper man)

they’re walking to school and i have never seen archie look so nervous in my whole fucking life??? boy is sweating through his clothes most of all when she says “my mom told me to never speak to you again” and then he looks devastated, but then she says with the softest voice possible that she “still wants them to be friends, best friends” and he OPENS THE BIGGEST FUCKING SMILE EVER BECAUSE HE WANTS THAT SO BADLY MY POOR BBY! let’s also talk about how he said that he “thought it would be better in the long run” proving once again that is not he doesn’t have feelings for her, but that he doesn’t want to ruin what they have

and soo we have the scene archie plays his song for her, can we just talk about how he plays it for her and for her only?? like v asked him to play it and he wasn’t going to, then suddenly b asked all soft eyed and voice and he said “okay” and he was super nervous and looking at her the whole time?? which was how he noticed she was about to cry and asked her if she was okay?? and when she got up and left he immediately went after her??? LIKE???

okay, this part i just wanted to bring to attention that they feel safest and most themselves with each other, that’s it, i mean, if that’s not true love i don’t know what is!!! and he was going to run after her but weatherbee stopped him!! and even so he was still itching to run after her!!!

can we also talk about how v was being a basic bitch to b too?? like, do you have to rub the things in her face?? here she is, giving you a second chance at friendship and you decide to say “it’s not my fault he doesn’t like you”??? like, who does that?? betty has every right to be pissed after everything

and noooow to the moment that everyone coos over, the childhood promise of them marrying each other (i’m still bitter we didn’t get a reference to it when they were 18) i do love this moment too, everything about it, the way he speaks softly and how he can’t stop smiling the whole time he’s telling the story and how proud he looks when he says “thanks to betty” and how crushed he sounds when he says “i hate that i hurt her” he just... LOVES HER SO MUCH!!!!!

okaaay, but how amazing is the moment when betty touches archie’s black eye? THE CHEMISTRY IN THAT SCENE IS *chef’s kiss* THE WAY HE LOOKS AT HER

an underrated line that i love and so many people don’t pay attention to but “he may not be crushing on you, but he does love you and he’s legit miserable without you” I’M SORRY BUT MY BOY WAS MISERABLE WITHOUT HER, EVERYBODY COULD SEE HE WAS MOPING

aaaand the ending scene when betty asks a and j to join her and v on pop’s is amazing! archie and betty can’t take their eyes off each other and then a has his arm aroung b and he looks completely smitten when he’s looking at her and she’s not looking!!!! IT’S ONE OF MY FAVORITE SCENES!!!

now, not to start any sort of discourse but i did realize by watching this episode that archie doesn’t look at anyone the way he looks at betty!!! ANYONE!!! like the closest person he looked at that way was jughead, and it still was not quite the same. also would like to point out that while you could get a vibe that v was crushing on a, the same can not be said of archie because he couldn’t be less interested in her at first!

well, i guess that’s it, until my next rewatch<3

[statticscribbles]

Arm

Summary: Veronica lodge/ reader, Soulmate AU, whatever you draw appears on your soulmates arm, reader calls Ronnie all sorts of pet names to make her day better, they meet w/lots of fluff

It was easy to tell who your soulmate was. All you had to do was match up the handwriting. Which for most people was a problem, how were you supposed to figure out who had the exact handwriting when they couldn’t see your name or where you lived. You’d always believed there was something magical about soulmates. From the perfect penmanship yours had you were sure she had to be from some huge city. You weren’t sure what to do with that, living in Riverdale meant everyone knew everyone’s business and it meant you knew your soulmate isn’t here from a very young age.

There were soulmate databases and ways to insert the handwriting into various companies that would help you find your soulmate. They were painfully expensive and most people did end up finding their soulmate naturally anyways so it wasn’t something you’d care about.

Of course this means that when Betty Cooper finds her soulmate in Jughead Jones, and Archie Andrews finds his in Reggie Mantle, you feel a little left out.

When you end up hearing the rumors about the new girl, her name is Veronica Lodge, her father is filthy rich and her and her mother are fleeing the issues with his arrest as everyone keeps bringing up.

Archie sees her in Pop’s and both he and Jughead are already starting to form a friendship with her. Betty also does as well, and that means by default you’re now part of her friend group.

Betty laughs when you draw small hearts around the word baby, adding a sweetheart and then more little hearts and flowers you tug your sleeve down after and grin a little back at her. Veronica turns when Betty laughs as you pull your sleeve back up to check if your soulmate has responded.

“What was that about?” Veronica asks, pointing from between you and Betty at lunch.

“Oh Y/N writes to her soulmate all the time; she calls her dumb pet names since you can’t use real names.”

“Aww that’s cute my soulmate and I do that too!”

“Aw is it nice to have them contacting you despite being back in new york.”

“Oh, no; I haven’t met my soulmate.”

“You haven’t met him yet?”

“Her.” Veronica corrects.

“You know it’s a girl?”

“A guy could never have this nice handwriting!”

“That’s rude Ronnie, like Reggie has the prettiest cursive I’ve ever seen.” Archie cuts in and you laugh a little but nod to Veronica when she looks to you and Betty for confirmation.

“Well sorry for not paying attention to someone who already has a soulmate while I’m looking for my own.”

You’re not on the Vixen’s but you still like to stop by and watch practice. You usually work on some school work, before Betty and Veronica will bring you with them to Pop’s to get a post training shake and fries.

You hadn’t actually paid attention to Veronica’s uniform, when Betty appears without her and then you hear Veronica shout for help, you laugh at the mental image of her being tangled in her shirt. You walk through the locker room doors, you know she’s the only one in there but you still keep your eyes to the floor in case.

It’s the zipper that’s stuck and as you pull it down and she turns to pull the longsleeve shirt up you’re about to turn away, but the writing on her arms catches your eye. You blink, looking at her arm to see your own handwriting staring back at you.

“That’s mine.” You blink pulling a marker out and drawing a cat face, watching as it appears on her arm as you give it whiskers.

“Well at least we have something to talk about now when we get Pop’s right, Darling?” She grins and you smirk back.

“Oh course love, there’s nothing I’d want more than to talk with my sweetheart.” You grin back, feeling a blush on your cheeks nervous about actually talking to your soulmate face to face.

“Maybe we should go on an actual date?”

“That would be nice.” You watch as she texts someone and then nods to you.

“What?”

“We’re all set, shall we go to Pop’s?” She laughs as you write yes on your arm and it appears on hers.

Support My Writing?

[go-ldy]

I have zero self-control, so, if you're up to it: best and worst episode(s) of Riverdale?

I love this question! Sorry for the delay in answering, I have had to give this the deep thought and contemplation it deserves! Best episodes is easier for me tbh because there are only maybe one or two episodes of Riverdale that I did not like. I’ve decided to break it down into my best/worst for each season.

I’ve tried to approach this being as objective as possible but.... you know, I am only human, and I am easily swayed when Betty and Jughead make out a lot. 

Season 1

Best

1x10 or 1x11 with 1x11 having a slight edge. Obviously, the bughead angst content in both is A++ and what I am here for, but I also think that 1x11 in particular does a good job of moving the plot along while developing the characters at the same time (Riverdale is not always good at this ok so it is important to remark on it when it meets this bar!). We have Homecoming, and the incredibly awkward Cooper-Jones pre-Homecoming dinner, and Varchie sneaking into FP’s trailer behind Betty and Jughead’s back, and Veronica desperately trying to determine if her father had a role to play in Jason’s murder, and FP’s arrest (!!!) and Jughead running off at the end in a funk. There is a lot that happens AND everyone goes to a dance! It is sadly rare to have a Riverdale episode where everyone feels intertwined to the main story and where the Core 4 get to interact and develop. Plus, Jughead is so adorably excited about his and Betty’s family meeting even though they are 16 and have been dating for like two months. MY HEART. He was already planning their wedding.

Worst

1x09. It is the only episode of season 1 that felt filler. And I would still rank it higher than the other “worst” episodes on this list. But the main plot of Archie being used by the Blossom family is ehhhhhh. And frankly uncomfortable given his all too real recent past of being used by Ms. Grundy with no acknowledgment from the show whatsoever that these gross adults keep using this 16 year-old kid to serve their own purposes. So yeah, probably the worst of season 1.

Season 2

Best

I have to go with 2x14. Okay, okay 2x05/2x06 are probably better written and better plotted and have less dialogue that makes me want to end myself, but hear me out. 2x14 is the absolute essence of Riverdale packed into 40 glorious minutes:

Each couple has a spat with each other and then against each other, we get Betty versus Jughead, Archie versus Veronica, Bughead versus Varchie, and it is great???? yeah, you all fight over Hiram’s nefarious plot to buy up all the newspapers in town. 

Bughead listens to Varchie have sex and the vice-versa like an hour later as normal friends do.

Betty and Veronica talk about abuelita (I must know more about abuelita!).

An entire scene where Archie wakes up early to chop wood?? At someone else’s house? Even though he’s only there for a weekend?? Again, very normal, every day teenage behaviour. And Veronica pervs on him while sipping coffee. Get it, V.

Some of the worst, cringiest dialogue this show has ever had, and that is a HIGH BAR including: “A Vughead Kiss? Right now, in the present, might be precisely what it takes to save a future Bughead from imploding.” THIS IS THE WORST LINE OF DIALOGUE EVER WRITTEN, LIKE OF ALL TIME, I CAN BARELY WATCH. IT IS NAILS ON A CHALKBOARD, END ME.

Archie doing push ups in his bedroom, because OF COURSE ARCHIE RANDOMLY DOES PUSHUPS BEFORE BED AND ALSO WHEN UPSET HAVE YOU SEEN HIM. And then Veronica propositions him for sex and Archie, still mad about Vughead, turns her down. And this is an actual scene that takes up time in a 40 minutes episode??? I love it.

Lodge Lodge

They play monopoly

And then get attacked by home invaders!!!

Who Archie chases into the woods only for one of them to be killed by Andre so that Hiram can later frame Archie for a murder he didn’t commit.

anyway 2x14 is the best episode of Riverdale maybe ever, tell your friends.

Worst

2x11 for the reasons @arsenicpanda has articulated before - mostly involving the clumsy way that the writers tried to parallel the Serpents to the plight of Native Americans. And Jughead’s awkward white saviour plotline, eugh. Although bonus points for Archie trying to wrestle to impress Hiram for some reason?? I can’t hate it.

Season 3

Best

Season 3 has a lot of contenders. I’m torn between the parentale breakfast club episode (which also featured crazy-G&G-Jughead, a fave of mine) and the Prom episode, but I’m going to go with 3x20, Prom Night because this episode is a sheer delight from start to finish. Hal Cooper fakes his own death by cutting off his hand and then he replaces it with a hook - legends only. CHONI FOR PROM QUEENS until the dream is killed by Edgar. U KNOW that is when Cheryl started reconsidering the whole Farm business even with the whole being able to talk to Jason’s corpse thing. 

Bughead investigate shit and make great faces. Varchie go to prom as the least platonic “friends” ever and it is adorable. Everybody somehow wears the best outfits even though Bughead changed the Prom theme the night before. Betty being chased through the school by the Black Hood/her dad is legitimately terrifying. 10/10.

Worst

3x09, hands down. I have a lot of beef with this episode. My main beef is that 3x08 ends on this great cliffhanger and there is zero payoff? Jughead and FP come home to find the town is under QUARANTINE, no one is allowed IN OR OUT, and then in 3x09, he is snuggling in bed with Betty and it was like????? but what about the quarantine?? how did you get back in?? honestly the first time I watched 3x09, I thought I must have skipped an episode, but NOPE, the quarantine cliffhanger was waved off and I will never forgive them for this.

Secondly, most of this episode is spent in Archie’s feverish dream/hallucination and I just find dream episodes real dull, sorry Archie. I love that Archie tried to box a bear, I mean good for him, but the the dream sequences are boring.

Season 4

Best

A tie between 4x14 and 4x15. I just love these two episodes. The Preppies are legit the best villains this show has ever had (especially Donna, my love <333). There were real stakes for the Core 4, and even though I was pretty sure Jughead was not dead, I was still insanely happy to see him again in 4x15. Betty threatening Donna in the woods while wearing Jughead’s sherpa is a total bamf move, MARRY ME, BETTY COOPER. Jughead’s faux funeral is a+. Even the BA fake dating scheme (before it went horribly awry in the following episodes) is hilarious to me. Like, what kind of horrible plan is this?? if Betty seriously dated Archie following Jughead’s death, she would need therapy STAT, but the town of Riverdale is just like “oh ok I guess Jughead is dead.” Okay, sure. Plus Donna taunting Betty over the fact that she apparently can’t go two hours without needing to bone Jughead and therefore Betty’s plan was doomed to failure. How was this a real scene that happened. Oh my god, these episodes are so great.

Worst.

4x17. I mean, obviously. Please don’t make me have to explain.

[imreallyloveleee]

thoughts on 4x07

our collective fandom memory says this is a great episode. i’m here to tell you our collective fandom memory is WRONG. this is a terrible episode. so terrible. literally every character (including, yes, our faves) is the DUMBEST version of themselves possible. where do i even begin:

- well, technically we begin with what looks like footage of thanksgiving from the early 2000s run through an old timey instagram filter. so there’s that

- after that, i’ll start with the cheryl and toni story, which i hate so much. honestly it’s making me tired just thinking about what to say about this. i mean the fact that toni just manslaughtered her girlfriend’s uncle in the previous episode yet has to explain to cheryl why she’s “feeling down”? is that enough for you? can i move on?

- veronica orders catering for archie’s rec center thanksgiving and has it delivered the day before thanksgiving, nary a refrigerator in sight. i support mayor hiram’s decision to shut this burgeoning public health disaster down

- later archie reveals he has a desk drawer FULL OF WEAPONS he confiscated from his wayward youths and then did nothing with because he’s archie. i volunteer to manage mayor hiram’s reelection campaign

- sidenote, the least believable thing about this episode is that hiram lodge ran for mayor unopposed. jughead jones is canonically 18, there is no way he didn’t go door to door collecting signatures and then panic and fill in the last few with johnny bananas and dr. person fakename so he could get his name on the ballot

- dodger’s mother (who according to IMDB is the same age as dodger) and his...brothers? cousins?...are...so...like...what do they want??? they just show up and sit around for a really long time until munroe’s little brother tries to steal their gun. when archie tells them to gtfo they’re like “no we’re going to wait until whoever beat up dodger shows up.” do you think he’s going to walk in wearing a sandwich board announcing himself? what is the plan here folks?!

- also fuck off fp “i took an oath to serve the people of riverdale” jones. actually you were installed into the sheriff’s office by corrupt mayor hermione lodge so you could help her cover up a murder. fp is so fkn dumb he makes me side with hiram lodge, and i HATE HIM SO MUCH FOR IT

- there is something deeply disturbing about flirty alice cooper, i Do Not Like It

- i also don’t believe for a second that alice cooper would decide the night before thanksgiving that she doesn’t feel like cooking. that woman ordered her turkey weeks ago, it is already in the fridge defrosting

- let’s talk bughead. the sole saving grace of this episode is that they are extremely, delightfully, off-the-charts adorable in their scenes together. the phone call! “jug, hit save”! snuggling in their pajamas! (i just realized that the snuggling scene takes place a full 24 hours after betty gets to stonewall, which means they spent all day lounging in their pajamas together. CUTE!) and then of course it ends with some kind of wild, kinky off-screen sex that later convinces donna that betty cannot go more than 2 hours without jughead’s dick in her vicinity. into it!

- everything else is deeply stupid. betty and jughead bring a flask to their game of never have i ever and then pretend it needs to be refilled after 3 sips. they immediately confront bret and donna with their beyond-sketchy non-evidence that they somehow forced mr. chipping to yeet out of a window. i’m just going to stop there, i love them too much to keep going.

- there are probably more things to say, perhaps i will think of them at a later date, until then i’ll just note that archie has more sexual tension with his mom (seriously the last scene between the two of them is....strange) than he does with betty at this point

[orangenfrottee]

Hey ho there, feel free to ignore this and I hope I'm not bugging you as I awkwardly slide in here, but I must ask: if you had full creative control of the show, how would you run season 5? You can pick and choose whatever leaks you want to include.

Ah!!! Thank you for your ask <3 I might have spent a couple nights typing out my answer, but in short: I'd cherry pick old story arcs, bring back everyone I like and who doesn't run when they hear Riverdale's calling.

I'd definitely get some decent writers (I'm partial to Jane Espenson, but no idea if she'd be a good fit) and definitely some diversity. I might accidentally fire all men and then play up all their shitty recurring themes for fun as a weird inside joke between me and the show.

I think if they ever gave me creative control of the show it would swerf hard to the crazy and not leave that lane because honestly, i think that's what Riverdale does best.

So, where would I start...

Instead of giving season four a decent ending, I would start with an extra long pilot with the title 'previously on' where the best and most important bits of the teens' school lives is shown with a heavy focus on Jason and the Farm. Parallely, we get to see the lovestory of Chic and Charles. The episode ends with a few very short scenes of the prom where everyone's happy and pretty.

Then we'd start on the real season five. It's been seven years and our characters are older and more grown up.

The show would at first only present the present lifesbof our characters and the barest bones structure to keep as much a little mysterious as possible (but here I tell you what happened during timeskip, too).

Archie is often considered the main character, so let's start with him:

Archie went to the Army after school (though he didn't actually pass his exams and thus didn't graduate, Mr Honey was quite amused). On his most recent tour he met someone special: Eric, his new friend.

Archie was wounded in battle with a... giant mutated elephant with sharp teeth and hallucinogenic venom. Or something. He isn't really sure what happened, but he's got a huge new scar all over his torso. The abs stayed in tact, but oh his pride. During recovery he met new wheelchair user (and on occasion crutches) Eric who has trouble walking since his legs are misshapen/he only has one. Archie thinks Eric got maimed by the same elephant he was, but thinks it rude to ask.

For Eric I'm picturing Sabrina's Ambrose.

With his hurt pride, Archie can't stay with the military and decides to go back to Riverdale.

Eric doesn't have a place to go, so Archie invites him along.

They need a job and since Eric has a calendar full of sexy half naked firefighters AND since they both have abs, Archie decides that type of uniform is the perfect fit for them and trades his newly renovated and well running boxing gym against the old fire station Penelope Blossom owns. (Literally, they even meet at Pop's to exchange keys and sign papers Penelope brought that Archie doesn't even skim.)

The fire station is quite out of everything, but it has a huge pool Eric likes to swim in and a fire truck. To make ends meet Archie sells his sperm to the Greendale sperm bank.

Archie is of course in love with Eric but unfamiliar with the concept of bisexuality and struggles to identify his attraction for what it is. Eric is a foreigner to Riverdale (or is he?) and unfamiliar with the town's culture and quirks. Still, something going on in Sweetwater River seems to be related to him.

Archie and Eric share the Andrews' House - and in the house next door... live Gladys Jones and Polly Cooper!

After Jughead and Betty left for College Alice' horrid mom impulses settled on Jellybean who didn't stand back, grind her teeth and took it but instead broke Alice' teeth. Her and FP were not amused (though FP was also angry at Alice for being too strict). Alice moves out but stays as a journalist in town.

FP gets in trouble for being a brutal gang leader without a gang beating up criminals behind the boxing gym on tape. Not wanting to go to an illegal fighting club prison, he hides with Canadian Serpents behind the border. (Joaquin's identical twin brother and Ricky live there, too. They're happy there.)

Maybe he'd call once or twice with misleading wrong snake facts that have nothing to do with the current mystery of the episode but fit into perfectly by chance.

Jellybean was invited along, but she chose to stay because she thinks Riverdale is rad and the old Cooper House is luxurious as hell. Also, her mom came back to become the new Sheriff!

Nearly seven years in, Gladys still holds the position because no one legally qualified wants it and she manages to keep gang violence at an all time low for Riverdale. Plus, she and Mary Andrews are not exactly friends but able to work well together. When there's another serial killer running wild in town she has no problem with having another girlfriend of Mary who happens to be a skilled professional in the most relevant field take over for a bit. If needed, the Riverdale gangs are usually willing to add muscle to good causes, too.

Jellybean has left Riverdale for university and will only be present for holidays and breaks. She'd still be played by Trinity because I love her and honestly, real nineteen year olds look like fourteen year olds everywhere in the world. Also this gives the viewers 'Archie vision': he will always see his best friend's toddling baby sister in the young woman which makes her the only undatable (legal) female on this planet for him.

While attending Riverdale High she lead the Andrews Boxing Gym and made it the most successful gym in the area. It won't be a plot point in the show (apart from her being angry at Archie for just trading it against trash) but there will be framed newspaper articlesband the like in Gladys' house.

Around the time everyone graduated, Polly was released from Shady Grooves and is back to her old smart self - and really missing her babies! As Choni leave for whatever private college Blossom women have always gone to, Polly takes them and goes home - just to learn on the porch that not only did her mother sell her childhood home more than a year ago without anyone ever telling her, the college fund she never had gotten legal access to and planned to use for the twins is gone too and her sister left town without saying goodbye.

Gladys has always taken care of all the stray kids she found no matter how tight the budget was and now there's this young desolate mother with twin toddlers in front of her posh murder house she'd gotten for cheap and she has this new gig as sheriff. Of course, she takes them in.

They stay in Betty's old room at first, but they soon get to remodel the attic to give Polly her own room. At present, Dagwood has Polly/Chic/JB's old room and Juniper the one facing Archie's. (When Archie sees her in the room, he actually has a flashback once to when he and Betty used to be so young, but then Juniper turns her gead, stares at him really creepily and smiles weirdly. Archie will be somewhat scared from then onwards and be reminded of when everyone thought Polly might gave killed Jason. Juniper would murder.)

At first, Polly's a full time, stay at home mom, but once the kids are older, she starts working part-time: for Gladys.

It turns out they work amazing together. Gladys tends to jump to convenient conclusions and threatens violence way to freely. Also, she is intimidating as fuck.

Polly is everything she isn't: level headed (to a point, in comparison at least), brilliant at combining clues and steering people (remember how she infiltrated Thornhill and made Cheryl unknowingly assist in her snooping plans?). On top of that, she has these stepford smiles and all the ways to appear unthreatening drillend into her head. Honestly, she and Betty are quite alike. While Betty has the lockpicking skills and knows her way around cars, Polly used to be really into fashion (or something) and, with all her experiences at the Sisters, the Farm and Shady Groves, Polly knows psychology.

She started solving some of Gladys' cases at the breakfast table, but now she's officially a deputy or an advisor or something. They're essentially like FP and Jughead, just that Polly is an adult (and that she wouldn't be in a gang beating suspects up regularly).

(These characters would all be mostly in the background though.)

Veronica finally gained perspective on her relationship to her father and grew up. Hiram's cut out of her life for good. They won't ever interact. (In fact, Hiram either moved to New York or he had a minor traffic accident where he lost all of his memory for good and now lives as Ram Rod and works as a trainer at Penelope's newly acquired boxing gym. Everyone is confused about it but doesn't care to ask.)

Veronica is successful at whatever she's doing and doesn't plan on ever moving back to Riverdale, but maybe something is up at Pop's that requires her checking up on in person and she just happens to cross paths with Betty who is also just there for the weekend. And they haven't had quality time together for years, because it's so hard to stay in contact sometimes even with people you love so much you'd die to keep them safe.

If I could come up with something meaningful for them to catch up on emotionally, I'd have them sitting together in a booth at Pop's for a whole episode just talking (but I'm not that deep).

Veronica might be engaged, but we see it fall through without really getting to meet the guy. She mostly just talks to Betty about him on occasion but in a somewhat messed up way. Ultimately, she realises how she treats him in some regards like Hiram treated her and her mother. She wants to grow up further and not be like her father anymore. Since the fiance was only a trophy pawn, she breaks it off and concentrates on introspection/ maybe therapy for a bit.

Later that season her sister comes back and surprise: Hermosa embraced becoming Daddy.

(These would have to be restricted to two half episodes only, she definitely deserves story arcs that aren't about her dad.)

Careerwise: she has a couple businesses, maybe a restaurant chain or a franchise and she seems to collect startups. She reinvests a lot and has to travel quite a bit but can work remotely too.

Everyone seems to want FBI agent Betty and if I'd go that route I'd have her demask Charles as the fraude fake FBI who hires guns for hire and fake emergency teams while making up fantasy horror stories about serial killer genes to scare his biological family into killing each other that I wholeheartedly believe he is. But I also like Betty's interest in mechanics and would love for her to have a career in mechanical engineering. Maybe she switched majors at uni and now works for a company developing prosthetics. Maybe she tries to get Eric into joining a study. (I mean, prosthetic legs would help his work as a fire fighter...).

She's in town to visit Polly and the twins but after talking to Veronica she spontaneously stays in town. She can do her work remotely, really. The two of them move into a two bedroom 'shared bnb' (or whatever it was called in season two) and we finally get to see their friendship on screen.

Betty isn't in a relationship at the moment abd she's so into her work, she isn't looking for one either.

Jughead had broken up with Betty seven years ago and never really had a well working relationship after. He's grown obsessed with finding a way to recreate what he had with Betty.

Not in a totally creepy psycho way, he's simply not understanding that he might be sex positive and he had been in love with Betty, but he is ace and quite aro, too. It doesn't help, that he finds people sexually attractive on their online profiles just to be repulsed by the tought of even kissing them goodbye in person.

(I don't think tv is generally a fitting medium for this, but I guess he can narrate for himself and make it work.)

I guess he has to be an author. Obsessed as he is about finding love again (he wouldn't call it like that) he figures it had either been the location or the constant fear for his life. He chooses to return to Riverdale. He probably instantly moves with everything he owns to Riverdale (not that it's much beside a modern laptop, the typewriter and his camera).

Archie gives the great advice how Jughead is obviously still innlove with Betty, duh.

He of course runs into Betty some day, they end up investigating some random murder together and find themselves in familiar positions and kiss - but it just isn't there anymore. Jughead feels nothing and Betty isn't really into it either.

Veronica later points him in the direction of maybe not being allo (because she used to question herself as aro).

Funfact: Jughead would have failed graduation with Archie if Mr Honey didn't forge some records that weren't actually submitted from Stonewall (they claim all records were deleted during a power outage). Jughead knows and is deeply shamed.

Thornhill has been renovated! Toni is pregnant! Choni will be raising their kids (surprise, it's going to be twins!) in Cheryl's ancestral home. Choni are married and happy.

Toni has reopened the White Worm with Fangs somewhere at the Southside and yes, let's make her the official Serpent Queen. Let her work lots of social causes (remember toys for tots?), grey area rule bending for good and of course she works well with Gladys. I've seen talk about her being a social worker floating around and honestly, I think that works amazing. She's working the local cases (and a few unofficial ones) and I think she and Cheryl are registered foster parents. On occasion (like once) they'd be shown taking care of a random kid.

Cheryl used her College time to study two things: business and Riverdale town history. Remember how in season two she took so much pride in her ancestors because she believed them to be good people? She might be disillusioned but she is the Blossom heiress and her and Toni's as well as Jason's kids will one day inherit a better family legacy. She'll invest in Southside rebuilding projects, advocate for new town memorials, maybe rebrand some of the Blossom product lines. Something like that

She won't run for mayor yet, but she's definitely invested in (local) politics.

Of course the pregnancy was with artificial insemination, the donor was either an unsuspecting red head from the Greendale Sperm Bank or they use some of Jason's that has surly been saved to guarantee the Blossom line when everywhere was scary talk about sperm counts going down due to mobile phones.

In addition: the maple factories need worker bees! Cheryl has a few programs with Toni to get Serpents/random Riverdalians newly released from prison or just with bad luck into a steady job and a cushy appartement overlooking the ex prison on the Southside. Pop's is also participating. Ethel works as a landlady for said appartement complex.

Also, why not add a second Blossom-Topaz lovestory to underline this incest-adjacent show and bring back Toni's grandpa and set him up with Nana Blossom. XD

Then during this season's arc, the Blossom uncle's corpse will be found in the river and the mistery is whether the FBI will figure out who the corpse us and what happened or not.

I love Reggie. Since Varchie is unlikely thanks to Eric, him and Veronica rekindling their relationship would definitely be a possibility I'm into, but he also seems to have an interesting connection with Kevin and Fangs that could be built on.

He would definitely have a car he'd love very much and I think it would still be Bella.

I'm not sure about his career, but it wouldn't include his father's car dealership. Maybe he'd be a successful movie star just in town between movie shootings.

Kevin was doing something with musicals on Katy Keene, I think? Writing or directing? He was trying to nake it big, but some plans fell through. Now he's back in Riverdale. Luckily, they are just about to open Riverdale's first theater in the relatively newly built but forever closed prison. Next to the Southside Theater the complex holds a mall and the White Worm.

Fangs works full time as the manager of the WW that he co-owns with Toni. He meets Kevin again once he's back in town.

Sweet-Pea somehow ended up as a junior doctor at the Riverdale hospital. He spends all of his scarce free time at the WW.

Some of the background Pretty Poisons officially work for the police now. Different than Gladys, they are actually ccccc for the positions they hold.

Peaches works as a manager for one of Cheryl's companies. She's happily married and has a kid (or something).

How long in prison do you get in the US for standing in as the head figure of a crazy pen and paper cult that has literal murders committed in his name? As a blond white dude probably just parole? So honestly, once they actually bring his case to court (and they have nothing against him because anyone could have been under the mask at any one time and people know of different gargoyle kings) he's released of all charges. No one in Riverdale actually knows though since his case took forever, Bughead had already left Riverdale and Alice didn't step up to follow the case. No one wrote about it, so no one knows. They just assume that of course the guy will be locked away forever, he's guilty.

In reality, he and Charles have bought a house somewhere in a different street of Riverdale where they aren't quite known and have adopted a couple kids.

Charles meets Alice regularly for lunch and she thinks he's this workaholic FBI agent only living for solving crime. They play a long con game I don't know the goal of.

(They have been behind the tapes even if that storyline gets totally ignored. They pretend FP being in exile is their doing, but the tape responsible was just a random security camera in the area.)

Josie's plans in New York sadly fell through (I haven't seen any Katy Keene but I want her back)

Lot's of bonding scenes with her brother Kevin who's also back in town. The two share a flat and on occasion burst into song together. Since I've already invented the Southside Theater, maybe she'd find a job there, too.

Val and Melody stayed in Riverdale aftee highschool and made careers in town for themselves. Maybe Melody at city hall and Val as a marketing specialist at the farm, Riverdale's most outstanding new grocery mart. Half of all Riverdalians don't get the controversy of the name, the others either think it's brilliant or tasteless. (Kevin for example has repressed the nemories so gard, he doesn't get it. Josie is very protective and angry at Val for working there.) The store belongs to the eccentric redhaired Eva Everafter or whatever pseudonym Evelyn can come up with to thinly hide her identity behind.

Somewhere in it I'd throw in a few lines vaguely referencing older happenings like "I still can't drink tap water" and the very first time Veronica sees Archie again after seven years she identifies him through his ab muscles.

So in short: Archie would be very dumb, everyone else is just there.

Also: Pop's would serve 50% vegan burgers and milkshakes so I could dig in with gusto.

[steal-yourdadsgender]

Don’t Change, Not Yet

Pairing: Betty Cooper/Jughead Jones

Synopsis: "The calls kept happening again, and again. But the first call was the only time she heard his voice. She usually got a call from him only once a month. They never tried to say anything, tried to make up for anything. Jughead would call when the moon had been up for at least a solid hour, and Betty would answer. She would always answer. Then they would sit, thousands of miles away, yet together."

or- during the time jump, Jughead and Betty call one another until there fateful reunion in Riverdale.

It had been seven years since they had last seen each other. So much had changed. Jughead was a published author, and his beanie was long forgotten. Betty was an FBI agent and no longer wore her hair up in her signature ponytail. It now hung low by her hips. It was longer than Jughead had remembered it.

Jughead saw Betty first. He had gotten off his bus and walked the remainder of the way to town. As Archie had said on the phone, the town was one large dumpster fire. Jughead would be surprised if there was even anything salvageable in this big heap of nothing. But the one thing that managed to stay the same was Pop’s. That was where he saw her. She seemed to be the first one there of the people that Archie called. Jughead distantly wondered if Archie called her first.

She was talking to Pop Tate and she was as gorgeous as ever. In fact, seven years did her unexplainable favors. Even at 25 now, she seemed to radiate a youthful glow that should have been distinguished many years before.

He was walking up the parking lot and couldn’t seem to move his eyes from what he could see of her. But he knew in the back of his head, no matter how much he reached for her, he could never have her. She was always just out of reach. And he didn’t even know if she was reaching for him either.

When he opened the door and the familiar bell rung, that’s when she saw him. She turned, her hair swinging with her body, and her eyes sat on his. He expected something to happen. Like how they describe it in the books. The fireworks or the electricity. But all her saw were her eyes. Even when everything else had changed around them, her eyes stayed the same. The same warm, inviting eyes that he fell in love with ten years ago.

Betty didn’t expect to see Jughead when she turned at the sound of the bell. But there he was. He looked so different, yet exactly the same. His beanie was nowhere in sight and he had light stubble growing just above his lips. Betty feels an involuntary sigh escape her body at the sight. It was still Jughead. He may have different style clothing, and be a published author now, but she also saw the stiff, awkward shoulders and the guarded eyes. She used to see it every time they went out somewhere together. Social anxiety.

“Betty. Hi” he mutters and she nods. Not Betts, or Juliet anymore. Just Betty. She couldn’t say she blamed him. The last time she had even heard his voice was six years ago. It was a year after they had all departed Riverdale and late into the night. She was studying when she got the call.

Assuming something bad had happened, Betty picked up the phone. But all she got on the other end was a drunk Jughead. He rambled to her about god knows what. Betty wasn’t even sure he knew he was talking to her until he said her name. “Betty?”. His voice sounded so broken when so said it, yet so full of hope. Like one large, thousand-piece puzzle. He was shattered, but there was the hope of being put back together again. Only to be broken once again and shoved away to collect dust. It had hurt her to hear him like that.

But she responded. She had said, “Yes, Jug?”. She whispered it, as if scared to loud of a noise would scare him away.

“I love you”.

That was all he said. After he uttered those three forbidden words, the line was silent for a deafening two minutes. Betty didn’t dare hang up the phone, dangling on that last thread of hope that he would say something else. Anything at all.

But he didn’t. The line stayed quiet for two hours before she fell asleep. Even though not a word or noise was heard, Betty knew he was there. Even drunk, Jughead had sat by his phone, listening to her faint breathing, knowing she was there too.

The calls kept happening again, and again. But the first call was the only time she heard his voice. She usually got a call from him only once a month. They never tried to say anything, tried to make up for anything. Jughead would call when the moon had been up for at least a solid hour, and Betty would answer. She would always answer. Then they would sit, thousands of miles away, yet together.

It wasn’t as tensed as the first time, as the numbers of calls slowly grew. Betty would occasionally pick up a book, or she would listen to the soft clicking of Jughead’s typewriter as he wrote. Betty distantly wondered if that was the typewriter that she gifted to him that he was writing with. Jughead would work on his book, knowing his inspiration was so far away from him, yet right there as well. When the time grew on the line, Jughead would occasionally hear Betty humming to herself. It was a beautiful sound, one that would have small colorful birds singing back in some invisible fairy tale land.

There was a soft calm between them during these calls. And yet, even though they didn’t speak a single word into their phones, they would count down the minutes that they could call again, and miss each other when the phone hung up.

Neither directly hung up on one another. Sometimes, Jughead would stay awake longer than Betty and hear the soft sighs of her sleep. Or when Betty stayed awake longer, she could hear Jughead’s incoherent mumbling on the other end. But she could never make out any words. When the calls ended, it was usually because a phone was dead in the morning.

This routine lasted for five years. It started one year after they all left, and ended suddenly one year before they all returned to Riverdale.

Betty never received a reason for the sudden ghosting, if that’s something she could even call whatever’s been going on between her and Jughead, and she felt no need to ask. Maybe it was better that way, she thought, having no idea that was what Jughead had thought to himself before she stopped calling.

Now, here they are. Standing before one another once again, feeling more connected than they should.

“Hey, Jughead”.

Neither one makes any move to say anything else, or more any closer. They simply studied one another.

Finally, it’s Jughead who breaks the silence. He nervously clears his throat and narrow his eyes. “Archie call you?”, he asks. He doesn’t break eye contact with her once as he spoke, and she doesn’t attempt to either.

“Yeah, this was the first time I’ve heard from him since he left for the army” she agrees, and shoves her hands in her pocket nervously.

Jughead felt a small, guilty amount of pride at that. That’s he’s heard from her more than Archie. That maybe, just maybe, she still loved him just as much as he loved her.

Six years ago, may have been the last time betty has heard Jughead’s voice, but it wasn’t the last time Jughead heard Betty’s. About three years into their calls, he heard her voice once again. He was asleep and woke up. It had been late into the night, maybe two in the morning. She must have assumed he was still asleep, because she was talking very fast and very much to him.

“… and I’ve been lying to my therapist, and everyone about it. My own mom doesn’t even know. Does that make me a bad person? Not telling my mother about something like this?” she clearly didn’t expect an answer, as that was the only logical reasoning for why she was talking at all.

Jughead now wished he had answered her. Or said something, anything. He had learnt what she meant a month later in the news. The Trash Bag Killer. From what he read, the guy had her for a few weeks at most. At some point, he had to just stop reading.

Even with the minimal makeup Betty wore now, he could see the bags hidden under her eyes. She could hide anything from anyone, but not from him.

“Me too. It’s been radio silence from everyone. Except, well…” he says. Betty answers quick and sharp, “Yeah, I know”. Her tone clearly conveyed she didn’t want to talk about it. Which was fine with him, because he wasn’t exactly in a Chatty Cathy mood about that particular subject.

“What about Veronica, you heard from her?” Jughead asks, and Betty shakes her head. Unsure of himself, he moves around and pulls himself into a booth. “Can I get you anything?” the waitress, her name tag read Tabitha, asked. Jughead could swear that name sounded familiar.

“No, I’m good. Thanks” Jughead mutters as Betty sits beside him.

“No burger anymore, Jones?” Betty asks and he rolls his eyes. “Things change” he whispers simply.

“Yeah, I know” she replies, copying his simple tone. It frustrated him and he didn’t know why. They both equally gave up one each other. Yet there was a nagging feeling in the back of his head asking one question. If they gave up, then why keep calling? Why keep answering?

When night fell and they all went their separate ways, Betty didn’t expect the call from Jughead. After all, they had just seen one another again. It would make no sense for him to call her. Yet, as Betty was dusting off a cup from the kitchen cabinet, her phone rang.

And, without hesitation, she picked it up.

They supposed, the entire world could change, but they wouldn’t.

The End

ao3

[riverdale-retread]

Riverdale S5 E13 (Coyote Ugly)- 5 Things I loved/ 3 Things to consider

I loved a LOT of things about this episode, so I might have to cheat on my loved-it count. Indulge me, please. 

Things I loved

1. I loved that Tabitha totally belongs and fits in with these crazy OG Riverdale people.  Tabitha asks Betty, the crazy girl, to not “do anything crazy,” while doing crazy things with Betty, herself.   Why Tabitha does this, we don’t know yet, but she absolutely belongs with these people.  For fancy-school-educated beautiful Tabitha, with her neat puff sleeves and delicate frame, to go all in with Betty Cooper, fake FBI agent, trying to hunt down a serial killer is insanity.  To agree to open up her business premises and offer up her own body as bait for this known serial killer is insanity. To be aware that Betty has caught someone who was acting violent, but to go alone, and also unarmed and apparently without having told anyone, is insanity.  Tabitha is very, very interesting.  Oh and she drives the most amazing car.

2. “Reggie, You’re A Genius!!” and Veronica is not being even a little bit sarcastic.  Reggie Mantle’s air punches every time either he or Veronica close a sale really just cheered me up no end. He’s just so exuberant and physical.  He’s already stated that he is good with numbers and he has a lot of ideas and he’s finally, at Pearls & Posh, getting a chance to let those parts of himself bloom. I loved the beautiful jewel tones that Reggie and Veronica wear throughout the episode, and the way they become ever more color coordinated.  I just love the two of them teaming up and dismantling Hiram’s scam one brick at a time.

3. All the Cheryl things, basically, I loved them. 

-“Compulsion Thy Name is Kevin of Finland” is a line that had me hooting.    And the fact that Kevin, in the right clothes, totally has the body and jawline to be a Tom of Finland illustration is just icing on the cake. Cheryl has been keeping a very close eye on Kevin his whole life, honestly, like a dangerous sort of fairy godmother. Cheryl in a checked version of her little red riding hood outfit walking out of the misty blue forest!  What a beautiful shot. 

- I did not love Tabitha having to say,  “Hot Ladies, dancing on the bar, fully clothed, of course,” but I *did* love Fang’s groaning in response, just so put upon. I did this simultaneously with the character, so I appreciated that.  I did love the glorious amount of cleavage that Cheryl the minister and cheerleading coach insists on putting on display while IN a high school.  Her sartorial choices felt like a vengeful commentary on the mores of American television.  I would much prefer to see tits on my TV than blood & violence, so the fact that an entire severed leg, a ghost of Christmas past with bullet wounds, and a man getting his face smashed in by a furious fit young man armed with brass knuckles can be shown in full but hot ladies dancing on a bar must be fully clothed irritated me. 

So yes - I said a whole bunch of words to fancy up the statement that I loved seeing Cheryl’s cleavage.

Sidebar: Also why does it gotta be only ladies?  I think Fangs was fishing for an invitation.

- “I caught them (Moose & Fangs) having wine & cheese” - “Ew that is diabolical.” OK so when you’re in that mindset where you want to ‘win’ the break up but you’ve lost, this sort of hyperbolic reaction is exactly what you want from your female friends, and Cheryl doubles down with, “You did nothing wrong.”   Why has Kevin never declared best friendship with Cheryl? 

4. I loved that  the show gives me permission to do what I’ve been doing already, which is that I absolutely despise Uncle Fucking Frank.  That asshole, who claims to understand battle trauma and love dogs, brings home a traumatized dog which deserves to have stable people look after it and be aware of its issues, and doesn’t tell his housemates who aren’t even getting basic mental healthcare, one of which is a nephew he is mooching from for room & board, about the dog’s potential problems.  Absolute failure garbage human, and I am elated to have this affirmed.  Everything Frank does makes Archie so much worse, and Archie does not trust Frank fully either.  Loved this too.  Archie lies to Uncle Fucking Frank about ‘Bingo.’ He was a dog, he says, and then says that Eric does not like to talk about the dog so Frank won’t go mentioning him to Eric.

5. I loved the musical numbers, each for a different reason.

- Coyote Ugly Bar Top Dance:  These terrifying, formerly terrorized children of Riverdale thrill me and break my heart.  Everyone just tosses themselves at danger.   Cheryl, Veronica, and Betty are all women who’ve had the experience of being hunted, terrorized, gaslit, stalked, sexually assaulted, having to fight for their lives while under attack from a much bigger assailant, etc  - just *all* the bad things, really - but with the promise of a good time (lyrics actually say: How Can I Resist?) they will make themselves live bait for a serial killer. 

- Everything Is All Right from Jesus Christ Superstar. I love Kevin’s singing, always.  I also adored Penelope Blossom hating the musical interlude, she’s great.  This song is also meant to be ironic, in the show, from my memory, because in context things are NOT all right. Mary Magdalene was wrong.  They’re showing Kevin and Fangs making up, they’re showing Veronica and Reggie making a sale, Jughead was not in this episode at all, so this was quite arresting from a show perspective.  The song is disquieting, with minor key elements, and so it’s a little uneasy, you know?  Things are not all right, at all. 

3 Things to Consider

a) “This award is a painful reminder of all that I haven’t accomplished.”  Kevin breaks my heart but not in a campy tingly way.  The feeling that I’m supposed to be somewhere better than this, doing something more than this - it’s so painful and real. I’m you, Kevin.  “This can’t be my life, it just can’t be.”  This seems to be the theme of the post time-jump Riverdale, but it feels more visceral because of what’s happening in the real world on the date of airing (Fall of 2021).

b) Bingo being a person, not a dog, puts an entirely different and devastating cast over the dream-dialogue between Eric and Archie.  According to Archie’s subconscious, Eric is basically saying, “Leave the other man for dead, and save me and only me.”  In the football field dream,  Eric was transformed into Jughead, who just needed a little help, and had to be fireman-carried to touchdown.  Eric insisting that he be prioritized over the unfortunate Bingo goes some ways to explaining the bond between Eric and Archie as well. 

c) Archie Andrews is terrifying, and this adult Archie is fascinating and arresting to me. “I don’t want this scumbag arrested! I want him hurt” is the most honest thing Archie has ever said on the show.  And when he says, “I’m trying to save this town, but it’s so corrupt,  broken, full of awful, despicable people.  I think there’s nothing worth saving here,”  Archie is very reminiscent of the Dark Hood/ Hal Cooper, actually.  Archie scares the worthless Uncle Fucking Frank so much that U.F. Frank can’t even say, “Nobody asked you to save the world, Archie, just save yourself.”