#and having that character go through a whole mythical adventure episode

[forgetful-nerd]

It probably took everything out of the tmnt 2012 writers to not make Raphael a hobbit in the “Mazes and Mutants” episode.

So they just let Mikey have a whole “gollum” thing instead with his ring of awesomeness.

[being-of-rain]

I wasn’t really a big fan of The Giggle by the time I finished watching it, and I liked it less the more that I thought about it. Which is a real shame, because I think it was full of a lot of great ideas that were squandered with poor execution. I didn’t really want to just post pages of negativity, so I’ll quickly skim through a list of things I think could’ve been done better, and maybe I’ll expand on some of them later or if I’m asked about them. Still, this is your warning for negativity.

The whole 'screens are evil and making everyone think they're right' felt so shallow and cheap, especially because it was set up as the main obstacle and then largely ignored. A lot of the characters at UNIT really didn't do much (I totally forgot about The Vlinx after my first watchthrough) but I think that didn't bother me much while watching because I was used to Chibnall regularly ignoring characters like that. It was nice to see Mel again, but she didn’t really serve much purpose.

RTD’s take on the Toymaker is quite similar to his take on the Master, which was sometimes fun and sometimes annoying (specifically the German accent, which lost its appeal pretty quickly for me). But he felt pretty hollow and full of wasted potential beyond that, feeling like he was there just to give the episode a villain. Although speaking of the Master, his brief inclusion was hilarious and an easy way to write him back into the show later, nicely done.

The last third of the episode had some many intriguing and potentially awesome ideas behind it. The new Doctor turning up partway through a story? Cool! The Doctor defeating his final villain alongside the next star of the show? Fun! The Doctor getting self-care and words of wisdom from his next self? So heartwarming! One Doctor retiring to be happy while his next incarnation travels off to continue the adventures? A fun use of the show's format!

But for me these ideas just didn’t work or didn’t fulfill their potential, and it’s mostly because there’s no narrative justification for them. No cause and effect. There’s no given reason for the Doctor to bigenerate, it just happens. There’s no particular reason that it was the Doctors rather than the Toymaker who won the game of catch to save the world, it just happens. Without any narrative reason the third act feels so unsatisfying, like spectacle for the sake of spectacle, and (I don’t say this lightly) incredibly lazily written.

That lack of story reason also undermines the ending, clearly the thing RTD was most interested in, by making it feel unearned. Like a first draft script that worked backwards to make it happen. The retirement ending itself I have mixed feelings about, which I’m not sure I can fully articulate. One thing I love to see is that RTD can actually do a genuinely happy ending rather than making every ending a tragedy. But said happy ending feels a little too ‘married-with-kids-and-a-white-picket-fence’ to me – though obviously I can’t stress enough how relieved I am that romance didn’t factor into it. It just felt like it wasn’t set up well enough. I’d probably like it a lot more if they made clear if Tennant’s Doctor was going to turn into Gatwa’s Doctor or if they’re just separate people now. It was sweet of RTD to try and bring a conclusion to the ‘Doctor is traumatised’ thing that he introduced to the show 18 years ago, but he did it poorly. At least it offers interesting new possibilities for the show going forward!

With all that said, in the end The Giggle felt to me like RTD retreading some of his biggest flaws as a writer, and throwing in a few borrowed from other showrunners for good measure. It was a disappointment both because of the good ideas just below the surface, and because it came after a very fun first episode and an incredible follow-up.

But like I said, I’m excited to see what the show does next! I saw talk that there’ll be lots of mythical and unnatural creatures turn up due to the Doctor’s salt thing, which is super cool. And obviously I’m excited for more Gatwa! I haven’t really felt a lot of reason to be excited about Ruby yet, but as always I’m ready to fall in love with the new companion quickly!

[dankdungeonsrpg]

Big Trouble and the Mythic Underworld

Have you seen the 1986 John Carpenter masterpiece Big Trouble in Little China? ...Because you should.

Briefly, Big Trouble is a fantasy adventure film about a man trying to find his truck.

As you may have seen before on this blog, I'm a big fan of a small family of RPG podcasts, including Keep Off The Borderlands. Currently, this show does a monthly movie call in episode. As you may have guessed, the most recent was about Big Trouble.

This film excels at a lot of things but my favorite is its portrayal of a Mythic Underworld.

Briefly, a Mythic Underworld is a (typically underground) place where reality gets pushed aside. The deeper you go, the more fantastic it gets. IE: a dungeon.

John Carpenter discussing the film on set in a behind-the-scenes interview available to watch on YouTube.

One of most fun bits of this is that it is set in modern-day (1986) San Fransisco, so the introduction of magic and monsters gets wild. We also have the advantage of our audience perspective character, Jack Burton, being an outsider. So he and the audience get to be flabbergasted together when a ghostly sorcerer passes through his big rig.

Some Fun Ideas (d6)

With this in mind, I thought it would be fun to come up with a table of plot hooks that can take us from the ordinary to the fantastic in our RPGs, specifically focused on the modern world and comedy.

Astute readers may recall I did a similar thing with my call in to an earlier Movie Monday podcast episode, and encapsulated that in an article on 1963's The Raven. These kinds of lists are meant to be a reference to the Sword Breaker podcast, which I miss dearly.

d6 modern supernatural story hooks:

Congratulations! You’re the new owner of a historic colonial home. One issue, the flagstones were placed in such a way as to create a door to the spirit realm every equinox. This tends to dramatically reduce market value so it wasn’t disclosed in the sale and your inspector missed it…sorry!

Turns out, one of those early a-bomb tests tore open a rift to the 9th dimension. So that cross country road trip took you from route 66 to between the atomic structure of solid matter. Avoiding the aliens living in there, pretty easy, getting back to our reality…a bit more difficult.

Due to an ancient prophecy the high rise office building you work in is now zoned over a ley line. So you’re gotta have to meet your corporate deadlines while sorcerers from across time battle over the property, but that’s just life in the big city for ya.

Those suburban homeowners associations? Satanists. I know, not really that surprising but in order to fulfill your new neighborhood obligations you will have to seek out Belial, do battle with his 80 demonic legions and/or 50 spirit legions afterward presenting a virginal sacrifice.

Government bureaucracy may seem totally soulless, but that’s because it actually is a giant machine that sorta just tabulates everything. So to renew your license there’s a whole labyrinth of mechanized dead traps to fight through for that to be approved.

The cosmic forces of law and chaos hold a tournament for control of the universe every planetary conjunction. The game itself and the champions representing mortals are determined by one of our competitions which happens to start at the time of the conjunction. All this is to say congrats on your bowling league making the finals, but they’re gonna be a bit different this year.

[duhragonball]

Dragon Ball Super 086

Tonight: Dragon Ball Super meets MIR.

So I must have forgotten about this scene, but rather than simply tell Goku where to find Android 17, Dende puts his hand on the Lookout and makes it fly through the air like a blimp.

Of course, the Nyoi’bo is still connecting the Lookout to the top of Korin Tower, so Dende has to retract it first.  The Nyoi’bo thing has always annoyed me, because the animators never seemed to be able to decide whether it’s still there or not.  I think Dragon Ball Super has been consistent about it being in place, but we’ve only seen the Lookout a few times in this series, so that might just be luck.  At least this episode acknowledges that it’s there, and that they have to disconnect it before the Lookout can move. 

All I know for sure is that Dragon Ball Z kept flip-flopping on this, and I never understood what the “right” answer was supposed to be.  I guess I should check the manga, but that might not settle anything either.  We see Goku use the Nyoi’bo a handful of times after he connects Korin Tower with the Lookout, so the implication is that he didn’t just leave it there.  And now that everyone can just fly or teleport to the Lookout, the connection serves no purpose, right?

Anyway, while they’re heading for the island preserve that 17 works at, Dende tells Goku that Kid Buu has been reincarnated as an Earthling boy with phenomenal power.  He’s too young to be of any help at the Tournament of Power, but Dende still thinks it would be a good idea for Goku to train the kid when he’s a little older.  I’m not sure what the point of this is, unless they were worried fans would ask why Uub isn’t being recruited for the Tournament of Power.  Also, Goku seemed to already be aware of Uub way back in Episode 29 or so, when he was trying to assemble a team for the last tournament. 

Anyway, they finally arrive, and it’s this big island, which 17 apparently protects all by himself.  Goku is surprised to learn that this is what 17′s been doing all these years, but Dende kept tabs on him ever since the Cell Games, and he says 17 got married and has three kids. 

When Goku arrives, he finds 17 fighting off a small army of poachers.  He explains that no matter how many times he defeats them, they keep coming back to the island.

Goku asks why poachers would be so determined to hunt on this island, and 17 shows him the minotaur, a mythical creature hunted to extinction for its horns.  17 speculates that the minotaur on the island may be the last one on Earth.  And there’s other fantastic creatures living on the island as well, which attracts the attention of poachers who can’t find them anywhere else.

After showing Goku around, 17 asks him why he came here, and Goku asks to spar with him to test his strength.

And 17 seems to keep up surprisingly well.  Dende told Goku that he had gotten much stronger since the Androids Saga.  And Popo says that a lot has happened on Earth while Goku’s been having adventures in space.

17 can even keep up with Goku at Super Saiyan Blue, although it’s hard to tell who would win since they cut the fight short to avoid damaging the island.  This whole power boost for 17 seemed kind of far-fetched to me, but I forgot about the minotaur, and that explains why poachers would go to such great lengths to attack 17, and how 17 would need to train hard to keep up.  It still seems a little convenient that he would have gotten this strong, but whatever.  Super Saiyan Blue was kind of an asspull itself, so I can’t fault Toriyama for letting the other characters “catch up” to it. 

So they talk at 17′s ranger station, and Goku asks to see pictures of his wife and kids. 

So 17 shows him, but not us.  Now I see why the fans were so up in arms about never getting to see 17′s family.  Normally when a character shows a picture to another character, the audience gets to see it too.  I mean, unless it’s something unsuitable for broadcast.  Maybe all of 17′s kids were making obscene gestures.

So Goku finally explains his business with 17, and then we cut to Beerus, who has finished eating what he thinks is his last meal, and now he’s gonna take a nap.  This actually matters later.

Back to Goku and 17, they discuss the Tournament of Power, but 17 declines to enter.  He can’t leave his post, not even for the two hours it would take to participate in the event.  Goku offers to have Goten and Trunks guard the place while they’re away, but 17 isn’t comfortable with that.  Goku also repeats his earlier lie about a ten million zeni prize, but 17 doesn’t need the money, since his job pays surprisingly well.  Finally, 17 convinces Goku to tell him what he’s been hiding this whole time, and Goku admits that their universe will be erased if they lose. 

But 17 still won’t join the team.  The way he sees it, if the universe gets erased, it’ll be the obliteration for everyone, not just the weak and helpless.  That’s a fate he can accept. 

Meanwhile, a bunch of space poachers have arrived at Earth.  Their leader literally says “time to do some poaching!” or words to that effect.  This show isn’t known for its subtly, so I can’t complain. 

[monotonous-minutia]

Merlin mini-rant

I really like the show but one of the things that doesn’t sit quite as well with me is the handling of who started as possibly my second-favorite character, Morgana.

I like heroine Morgana. She’s sassy and spunky and sweet, has a little more humility (and possibly humanity, at least at first) than Arthur, so they balance each other out at the start. Despite the fact that (and I’m still not really sure why they do this, because it doesn’t last long) the narrative seems to ship them at first, they have a really sweet, genuine sibling relationship that helps build the foundation of their friend group/found family. Morgana is physically strong and agile without the narrative making her sacrifice her femininity to be so (as is too often seen). She’s also very smart and talented in ways that others aren’t; while several characters are off winning physical battles afar, she’s at home winning battles with words. There are many episodes in Season One where the story would not have ended as well as they did if she hadn’t said what she did, to whom she did. She knows the ins and outs of the palace, she knows who’s who, and she knows what everyone’s priorities are, so she can almost always find the right thing to say to make them see sense, and often come to realizations that help them grow as people. She has a deep, innate empathy to those around her regardless of rank, while still recognizing ranks enough to utilize her power appropriately (and sometimes just be a little priss--she’s young, y’know). She’s incredibly gay with Gwen and I love it.

I also like villain Morgana. Her journey from the above-described heroine to the ruthless villain we see by the end of the series is well-thought-out, and the slow deterioration of her morality based on the events she goes through is both heartbreaking and makes me want to bang my head into the wall. She continues to be incredibly powerful, still using her wit and words as weapons, as well as becoming an alarmingly great sorceress. Her degeneration from the stately figure we see early on to the deranged witch by the end of the action is meticulous. And the fact that she’s still very attached to Gwen even after all these developments, and even when Gwen makes the choice to stay in Camelot, is an interesting touch that adds a depth to her that isn’t always seen with villains.

But I gotta say I love heroine Morgana more, and not really just for emotional reasons.

I’m not mad that the main villain of the series ends up being a woman, because the idea that women can’t be villains is just ridiculous to me. And, as said before, her arc is very well-written imo, so it doesn’t seem like a cop-out, like “we just wanted a girl villain bc girls are bad.”

I am a little mad that when the main villain turns out to be a woman, it leaves only one woman in the principle cast of heroes. Not that Gwen can’t totally hold her own, but it would have been nice to have her dynamic feminine duo with Morgana (and their ridiculous gayness) for the rest of the series, rather than leaving the majority of the action up to the men. Plus, I think keeping Morgana around as a hero might have given Gwen more outlets to be involved in the main action as well, since these two are definitely a power couple.

Dramatically speaking I think it might have worked better, too. Again, I like the villain arc Morgana gets--it isn’t rushed and it’s well-thought-out. But I think it would have been even nicer to have them be two different characters. Maybe keep Nimueh around for a few extra seasons, and/or introduce someone else with the same powers Morgana ends up with. Or keep Morgause; she could even still be Morgana’s half-sister, but Morgana refuses to join her, adding another layer to the hero/villain dynamics. Her backstory could be similar, and we could see parts of it along the way as it intertwines with the rest of the plot.

But I would have loved to see Morgana stay in Camelot as one of the lead heroes. Early on she doesn’t seem to have any desire to gain the throne (and I always thought the whole “she’s-actually-Uther’s-biological-daughter” thing was a cop-out anyway), so I can totally see her finding herself in a supportive, advisor-type role to Arthur as he takes on more and more responsibility. Their sibling dynamic would provide a lot of genuine sweetness and sassy banter throughout. She could continue to provide valuable assistance during the adventures, using her words and knowledge and influence to help out, becoming wiser as the years go on and helping Arthur build a strong kingdom.

She could have continued her super-sweet relationship with Gwen, supporting her as she slowly becomes more important in the court, vouching for her despite her rank, and continuing to be incredibly gay.

I think it would have been really cool if she and Merlin connected early on about their magic and confided in each other. I would have loved to see the two of them struggling together as they harness their powers, and bonding over that; and Merlin for once being able to take on a mentor-type role where his contributions are actually acknowledged, as he helps Morgana through the early stages of her revelations. Plus, it would help both of them feel much less alone, which not only saves Morgana from the villain path, but also gives Merlin some of the attention and support that he needs and never effing gets.

I think it would be funny if Arthur’s impression that they’re flirting continued throughout the series as a running gag, especially as they’d be making excuses to spend more time together so they can help each other with their magic. They could even use it to their advantage at times to get him off their backs. (On that note, I can see Morgana concluding the series with no other love interest than Gwen, though it would also be funny if she continually received suitors that were more running gags or funny side-plots to other stories).

I can almost see it like this: instead of refusing to tell Morgana that he also has magic in 2x3 (“The Nightmare Begins”), Merlin actually does tell her, so instead of her going to the Druids and starting that path of conflict, she and Merlin become closer and her goals become more focused and she’s less scared, and that prevents her from going down the path of darkness.

As Morgana works to understand and control her powers, she could learn about its history and lore and the Old Religion and stuff and be able to help identify sorcery and mythical creatures when they come across them.

And her relationship with Mordred could add yet another layer to the hero/villain dynamic; she could take on a mentoring role for him when he joins the Knights, maybe even helping him out with his magic and trying to get him into her and Merlin’s little “magic circle.” Merlin’s suspicion of Mordred could cause some juicy personal conflict between him and Morgana, and Mordred’s inevitable betrayal would be devastating in a dramatically satisfying way, if that makes sense.

All in all, I do like villain Morgana and her whole villain arc; but I would have liked it even more if she’d stayed in Camelot as one of the heroes, keeping her place in the principle cast of characters and remaining an important part of their friend group/Disaster Bi Club.

anyway....those are my thoughts...idk if anyone on here even knows what I’m talking about lol but I wanted to get it out there; I usually do my TV show rants on Twitter but the character limit for posts prevents long stuff like this.

[theradioghost]

some recs for my podcast mutuals who are burnt out on horror & sad plot stuff

aka I’ve been seeing a few flavors of people exhausted by several of the most popular podcasts around here being pretty dark right now & I have attempted to put together a tasting menu of some stuff I think might help alleviate that burnout (& which also deserves some more love)

1. I'm okay with stuff that’s still on the dark or macabre side, I'd just like something that isn’t 100% characters I care about suffering horribly all the time, maybe some laughs in there

The Beef and Dairy Network: Like a seriously disturbing body horror podcast, except British satirical comedy! About cows! You kind of have to listen to it to get what’s going on tbqh it’s nearly impossible to explain but if you like horror and are just tired of being depressed about it maybe try this one. NOT for the easily nauseated.

Wooden Overcoats: black comedy sitcom about two rival funeral homes on a small island, one run by The Most Perfect Man On Earth (tm) and the other run by two misanthropic twins with a knack for disaster (and their hypercompetent assistant (and a mouse who wants to be an author)). this one is about watching the protagonist suffer horribly all the time but like, this time it’s usually a lot funnier and honestly he deserves it

Death by Dying: (so far very short) dark comedy about the resident obituary writer of idyllic Crestfall, Idaho, who sets out to tell the stories of how the town’s residents died and ends up uncovering a lot of other things, like conspiracies, and man-eating cats, and a poet’s vanishing childhood home, and what his friend the Angel of Death isn’t telling him about what’s in the dark woods. has very strong ASOUE or Pushing Daisies vibes, that sort of dark whimsy and really distinct narrative voice

Arden: “true crime” comedy-ish mystery podcast feat. two of the best bickering hosts anywhere and a whole third host called homoerotic tension, trying to solve a decade-old Hollywood mystery. secretly a shakespeare adaptation. one of the hosts is michelle agresti. an airline run by killer robots is involved, somehow. it’s a perfect storm

2. I’m good with some plot and higher stakes, but I need something more kind and hopeful right now:

Middle:Below: 10-minute episodes about a man who travels between the worlds of the living and the dead to solve the problems of restless ghosts, and the three friends he does it with -- a ghost, a cat, and a writer. their tagline is “remember: bad things will happen.” this is basically a lie, this show is extremely sweet

Alba Salix: high fantasy medical workplace comedy about hospital staff in a fairytale-ish kingdom, namely one grouchy witch, one distracted fairy, and one extremely disgruntled teenager sentenced to community service. also comes with the miniseries The Axe And Crown, which is about a gay troll bartender, his clueless landlord, and his bombastic niece, and also is one of the most heartfelt touching pieces of audio fiction I’ve ever heard?

Dark Ages: also a high fantasy workplace comedy, but in this one the dysfunctional cast work at a magical natural history museum, which thanks to recent events is now hosting the mythical Dark Lord on top of all the usual problems caused by their complete incompetency.

Solutions to Problems: a sci-fi relationship advice show feat. human host Janet and alien host Loaf. also feat. banter, illegal time travel, what to do when the AI that controls the air you breathe is your on-again-off-again girlfriend, and how to avoid your many spouses when they insist you need to come back to the homeworld and spend some time with your spawn.

Victoriocity: steampunk buddy-comedy mystery show, in which misanthropic detective Archibald Fleet (aka Tom Crowley but he’s grouchy this time) and intrepid newbie journalist Clara Entwhistle (aka an absolute ray of sunshine) uncover some Secret Plots within the government of a very different victorian london. if you like the “opposing personalities come to care deeply about one another as friends” trope this one is for you

Inn Between: not an actual play, but a show about the developing relationships of a party of RPG-esque adventurers as they rest at the inn between campaigns. you don’t see the adventures, just the crew growing closer and learning about one another in their moments of peace.

The Strange Case of Starship Iris: sci-fi adventure about a stranded biologist and a ragtag crew of smugglers who set out to resist an authoritarian government, solve a mystery, and prevent a second human-alien war. as far as I can tell their plan for accomplishing this is to be as funny, gay, and adorable as possible, and to dismantle oppressive systems via the power of found family tropes. also via the power of linguistics.

3. just give me the fluffiest, funniest, sweetest, most relaxed, lowest-stakes thing you have:

Everything is Alive: meditative, deeply touching show where Guy From Public Radio holds interviews with inanimate objects. the interviews are super genuine and beautiful and I think they’re improvised, or at least they sound very natural? for people who want to be profoundly moved by a can of generic brand cola (you may not know but you are one of those people)

Standard Docking Procedure: a self-described “hopepunk” scifi sitcom about a group of employees on a space station, dealing with the little daily misadventures of difficult tourists, traffic control disasters, nonexistent love lives, and each other. Has an explicitly stated purpose of staying happy, lighthearted, and comforting.

Love and Luck: tied for absolute most heartwarming audio drama in existence. the story of the relationship between two Australian men, told through voicemail messages, as they fall in love, start a cafe, build a supportive and loving local queer community of close-knit friends and chosen family who help one another through thick and thin, and also find out that they can do magic apparently (IMPORTANT NOTE: there are some darker events and themes tackled in the plot starting around the latter half of the first season, but the focus of the story itself is always on how people support and help one another through trauma and difficulty, and the explicitly stated core premise of the show is that every character will have a happy ending and be okay.)

Quid Pro Euro: Look Around You-esque satire of old 80s and 90s instructional tapes where Felix Trench tells you what the European Union will look like in the far-off year of 2000. I don’t know anything about the European Union but I cackle like a witch when I listen to this

The Cryptonaturalist: I know you’ve seen his tweets. well it’s that but a podcast. just a man with an extremely nice voice talking about fantastical creatures like salamanders that swim through parking lot asphalt or foxes that roam the shelves of libraries at night. in between he reads poetry and generally talks about nature in the most beautiful way you could imagine. this show feels like a peaceful walk in the woods.

The Hidden Almanac: a podcast made 90% out of gentle fantasy worldbuilding, as a somewhat grumpy man in a plague doctor mask tells you about the history of his world and distributes gardening advice. has an immense archive of four-minute long episodes. it’s best to listen in order, because there is continuity, and be aware that about the first year or so has dropped off most feeds. written and performed by much-loved fantasy writer and artist Ursula Vernon and her husband Kevin.

Startripper!!: the other forerunner for most heartwarming audio drama in existence. seriously, you cannot imagine how much joy Startripper!! will bring into your life. it’s just the travelogue of one little alien with a heart full of enthusiasm and love setting out to see the universe and making friends along the way with just about everyone he meets, including his extremely loveable spaceship AI. I really mean it. listen to this show if you listen to nothing else.

Cabin Pressure: BBC radio workplace comedy about the dysfunctional crew of the world’s smallest airline. not only utterly hilarious but will tug on your heartstrings more than you could possibly imagine (this does not look at first like a found family story but it so very much is). warning for bendytoots cucumberpatch but like, in the one and only valid role he’s ever played. you definitely cannot find this show by searching its name on the Internet Archive.

[somedayonbroadway]

Somewhat cursed (?) idea: Newsies/Gravity Falls (or a series like that).

Oooohhhhh...

Okay, so I’m gonna be completely honest, I didn’t grow up watching Gravity Falls. I was a Phineas and Ferb type of kid, but I always appreciated the idea behind Gravity Falls and I did watch the first couple of episodes the other day to get a little bit more of a feel for this AU.

Okay, so those of you who read my stories and my outlines know that I am a sucker for angst, so this AU is gonna be less of a children’s cartoon and a little bit more… well… not real… but… I don’t know… more angsty?

Anyways, here we go!

Gravity Falls AU

Characters

Jack Kelly — Dipper

Racetrack Higgins — Mabel

Katherine Plumber — Wendy

Medda Larkin — Stan

Just to be clear, the personalities here are not an exact match 😂

Anyways,

Jack Kelly

A seventeen year old orphan.

He and his little brother are sent to a new placement in a town called Gravity Falls with a foster mother, one Miss Medda, who has a fascination with the unexplained.

Jack has never really believed in the things she seems to find so amazing.

He loves horror movies but often tries to rationalize them which drives his little brother just about insane.

He’s OCD and a bit of a control freak, but it’s the thing that typically keeps him out of trouble.

Before Medda, he and his little brother had been in a few less than nice homes, so Jack was used to keeping Race occupied and out of the house.

During the first week with Medda, she gives him an old, mysterious book that has an odd number three on the cover

Jack becomes obsessed with the book and studies it, not necessarily believing it’s real at first, but talking about it like it is

He has ADHD and has trouble sitting still

Often overthinks scenarios and obsessively makes lists when he’s overwhelmed or trying to figure things out.

He loves to explore and loves to figure out the history of wherever he’s placed, even though he often believes it won’t last long.

He has a massive crush on one of Medda’s employees and flirts with her often

Jack is first introduced to the supernatural forces around him during a walk in the woods

He catches one of his neighbors, a boy named Charlie, practicing magic in the woods.

After the initial terror is worked through, Charlie becomes Jack’s friend. One of his best friends.

He’s told he has to keep it a secret from everyone, though most of the town is involved in theories and mysterious phenomena

Jack is forced to let the secret out when he discovers his little brother new friend, Graves, is a vampire

This is when Charlie, more affectionately known as Crutchie, tells Jack more secrets about the town and introduces Jack to Albert, a vampire who promises to help Jack’s brother

After this incident, Jack quickly gets swept up into the world of the unexplained 

He’s terrified of ghosts. He doesn’t like that they don’t have many rules

Racetrack Higgins

The little brother to Jack and basically Jack’s whole world for a long time

He’s fifteen.

He’s slightly naive and a hopeless romantic

Though he loves horror movies, he prefers romance dramas.

He always seems to be full of energy, despite being slightly abused before. Jack always took the brunt of it for him.

While he’s always curious and a bit of an adventurer, he’s often forced to stay back by Jack

He has ADHD, just like Jack.

Often, he attempts to lighten the mood and is seen as ridiculous and over the top, but Jack knows it’s mostly for his sake

Unlike Jack, Race hates to make plans and enjoys running in head first and winging it

Again, Race is a hopeless romantic and is perceived as a bit of slut by most of the kids at many new schools that he attends. Despite this, he remains optimistic about finding a boyfriend

Graves is the first person to show interest and Race is infatuated with him

It’s because Graves wants him to be

Jack tries to tell him he’s under a spell of some kind, but Race tells him he’s crazy

Graves lures Race into the wood, planning on kidnapping him and feeding his blood to his flock

Albert, Jack and Crutchie save his life and Albert becomes Race’s best friend.

Race is understandably frightened after this encounter and spends a lot of time in Jack’s room, finding the book that Jack has annotated and color coded

He becomes obsessed with the book too

He memories almost every outlined supernatural being and ways to deal with them

He eventually dates someone named Drake, a telepath with telekinesis who nearly kills Jack after becoming obsessed with Race

He is extremely creative and gets Jack out of trouble time and time again by thinking outside of the box

Though it appears to most that Jack is extremely protective of Race, most underestimate the lengths Race would go to protecting Jack

After many odd and dangerous dates with many boys with bad agendas, Race eventually meets Spot

Spot is a dark angel, also known as a demon

Jack and him don’t get along.

Race really likes him

Eventually, Race gets bit by Graves and Albert has to suck the venom from him before he turns into a vampire

Katherine Plumber

Katherine is an eighteen year old part time employee and Medda’s Mystery Shack.

While she’s very peppy and girly, she’s never afraid to get her hands dirty and join Jack and Race in figuring out Gravity Falls mysteries.

She knows Jack has a crush on her, if not from him flirting, from Race who constantly tells her.

She treats Race like her own little brother

While she enjoys hearing stories about the unexplained and the supernatural, she doesn’t believe any of it exists until her and Jack and Race and some of her friends get trapped in an abandoned convenience store

This is the first time she sees how brave Jack can be as he is the one who convinced the ghosts to let them go  

While she introduces herself as Plumber, her real name is Pulitzer, though she doesn’t like to admit it.

Joseph Pulitzer is a rich businessman trying to buy the town. He wants to cut down the forest which would cost many mythical beings their home and Medda her business

When Jack and Race are new to town, many are hostile towards them as they’re outsiders. Katherine always stands up for them.

Though she is extremely girly, she has tremendous strength and is a really good fighter

She speaks three languages, English, Spanish and French and dabbles in Latin

Though she loves Medda, she often finds ways to blow of working and even has her own set up on the roof that she shows Jack

It’s the first place they kiss. Jack makes the first move and she can’t help but kiss him back even though she has a boyfriend at the time

She adores her boys and every person Jack befriends that belongs to the supernatural world.

She has amazing survival skills taught to her by her five older brothers. These come in very handy when her and her boys are in trouble.

Medda Larkin

Miss Medda Larkin is a supernatural enthusiast

She takes Race and Jack in after learning that their mother was an old friend of hers.

It is eventually discovered that it was their mother who wrote the book they’re so infatuated with

She runs a Mystery Shack, a tourist shop full of regular merchandise and odd ones

When Jack and Race first arrive, she lets them have one thing each, for free.

Jack takes a baseball cap and Race takes a necklace

Medda has known about the unexplained since she was a child.

Medda often sends the boys on odd errands which mysteriously get them into trouble

She is extremely protective of Jack and Race loves them unconditionally.

Medda is the only person to know that there is not only one mystery journal, but three.

She gives Jack the third journal in hopes that maybe he’ll find something she hasn’t.

She tells them a story about a young woman who went missing deep in the woods and asks Jack to try and solve the mystery.

That woman was Jack and Race’s mother

Not even Medda knows what happened to her

What do you guys think? Wanna hear about other characters? Let me know!

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[selfshippinglover]

all of the self insert development questions for your harry potter s/i >:3

AWWW THANK YOU SOOOO MUCH MAGNUS!! i’M PROBABLY LATE BUT YESS!! I’M EXCITED :DD

1. Does your insert have a name that’s different from yours? Does the name reflect their character in any way, or is it just because it sounds nice? How did you come up with it?

Nope! I mostly just stick with my own name just cause I like it to feel more like me in world :)

2. Does your insert have a very strong relationship with a f/o, maybe more than one? Tell us a little about the dynamic they have! This can be a bond that’s romantic, familial, or platonic, anything - even an enemy would count as a strong relationship!

~So, Hagrid and I have a very strong friendship before the whole dating thing! :DD I met well he was caring for a mythical creature and we bonded quickly just talking by it tbh :))

~McGonagall and I are best friends! we bond pretty quickly once the school year kicks off! As I’m a newer hire to the school, I’m still getting used to how everything works(I end up going via Hagrid’s recommendation!) and she actually helps me in between classes if I have any questions. We both care strongly for the lives of our students and are annoyed by the ones that are disruptive. So yeah, we also are fast friends :)

~I have a great deal of respect for Dumbledore despite his uhhh, “method” of teaching sometimes being straight up dangerous to others. Sometimes it’s even begrudging respect! I love the way he run things but I wish he’d put the students in less danger >:/ Still, I know I can feel safe to talk to him whenever I may need.

3. Who in their canon are they closest to? Who would they drop everything to come help, if anyone? Who’s the person they’re least close to? Who would they most likely not get along with, if anyone?

~I’m definately closest to Hagrid and McGonagall. I’d drop everything if even one of them was in danger.

~I mean, the only people I don’t really like ar the ones serving Voldemort....and Gilderoy =-=

4. Does your insert have a backstory? Tell us about it! How does their backstory, if any, define who they are? How does it reflect their relationships now? Their hopes and dreams?

~My backstory is very basic: I’m just another wizard in the world. Timid, unsure of what I wanna do with my life, and lowkey craving adventure.(boi does life deliver on that  one fkhjhsjg) One day while walking through many of the forests in the Wiarding Worl, I meet a half giant. We become friends very quick and he shows me around his home as well as educates me on mythical creatures. I find out that he actually works at the most well reknown school in all of the magical world and they have a slot open! I’m anxious at first but decide(after much coaxing and the reminder that he’ll be there if I need him) to give it a shot. I end up making the cut and officially and becoming an assist teacher! I go around as many classes as I can and help out :33 

~The only way my relationships are affected is by becoming closer and making new ones really.

~After having no big dreams, my dream becomes to learn how to help as many students as I can to reach their potential and to feel good about themselves! I always to preach to them about good mental health, remind them to drink often, and be aware when teachers and students aren’t feeling well. I offer to take their place if it’s a magic I know well enough.

5. Does your insert have any magical talents or otherwise special abilities? Are they passive, like the ability to befriend animals, or dangerous power that the villains want? Or if theyre evil - any powers the heroes want to stop?

I mean, as a wizard, I’ve got plenty! i try to have a decent array of everyday use kind of spells, lots of healing focu spells, and self-defense based ones. (I learn more offensive stuff at the school)So yeah, pretty passive.

6. Do they fight? What’s their weapon of choice? Do they stay on the sidelines? What would it take for them to get off the sidelines? Revenge? Saving a loved one? What’s the motivation for them to fight, or to stay OUT of a fight?

I really prefer to not use violence/engage in confrontation and will avoid it by sticking to the sidelines and only intervening when the students fight. If it were to be two professors, I’d probably stay out of it... ^-^’ the big thong that would push me out and/or through my fear would be if someone I cared about was stepping up to the plate/in danger. I can’t let others get hurt!

7. What kind of clothing style do they like? What would they never be caught dead wearing? What’s likely in their closet right now?

~I like a variety of aesethics but my insert ends up sticking to more formal attire sense it’s a school.

~I don’t really like wearing things that show a lot of skin so that really.

~Looots of formal attire, a few dresses, protective gear, enchanted clothes,  and very casual clothing.

8. How do they fit into their canon world? What’s their role to play, if any? Do they have a big destiny? Or do they more live as a side character that’s helpful for the protagonists/antagonists?

I’m mostly a side character that has her own personal arc about feeling good enough in that place and stepping up against my personal fears to help others.

9. Their favorite foods? Colors? Activities? What do they enjoy in life? How do they express their joy for things they like?

~Magic foods are freaking weird so I stick with the most looking stuff XDD

~Red and Pink are still favorite colors, hang out with the other teachers, patrol campus, learn about mythical creatures, take day trips to the shopping districts, read the newspapers, and hang out with my friends :33

~She expresses joy by sharing with others, stimming via movement, and just being all excited when talking about it :33

10. Their least favorites? What don’t they enjoy in life? How do they deal with being presented with things they don’t like?

~just don’t like the usual stuff, anger, confrontation, jerks, being forced into things you know, the usual.

~I just have a  fear reaction to most things so I try to avoid it and/or deescalate things.

11. How easy is it to make your insert angry? Sad? How easy is it to twist their emotions into negative things? By contrast, how easy are they to cheer up? What can brighten a bad day?

~As a sufferer of fear and depression, being sad comes easily. Anger is an emotion reserved for very few evil acts. I’ve learned to cope a bit better at that point so I don’t immediately fall into sadness but a few more pushes or crazy things happening would overwhelm me fast.

~I’m a bit hard to cheer up if I’m suffering a depressive episode but way easier if I just feel bad. Distraction works perfectly fine in that situation. I really just need downtime and my friends faces.

12. Is your insert a loner, or do they prefer crowds? Do they warm up easily, or do they tend to take longer to befriend others? What kinda people do they get along with? Who are they likely to be uncomfortable with?

~I’m pretty sociably flexible as long as there aren’t large crowds. (Though I don’t like meeting groups of new people cause it makes me anxious) I find it easy to befriend others since I treat others like my friends from the start. I can be nice to anyone, ya know? It mostly depends on my energy level that day tbh.

~I’m only really uncomfortable with angry people, people that boost their own ego at the cost of others, people that commit horridly evil acts, and people that are super narrow-minded about things.

13. What are your insert’s goals? Their hopes and dreams for the past/future/present! Do they intend to achieve no matter what? Could anything stop them, big or small?

Nothing big, just exsist happily and not suffer through their terrible mental struggles all the time. Later on though, she decides she wants to help and protect everyone to the best of her ability; no matter the situation. She is very easily pushed into doing things unless it’s for others so uhh, once all the bad stuff happens, the situation and fear for her students and peers pushes her into action.

14. Does your insert have any family relations? How do they get along? How do they disagree? Is it a biological family? Adopted? Or is it found family? How did this family come together, if it was one of the last two?

Not really, no? Well, idk yet. Kinda questioning if McGonagall could be an older sister.

15. Does your insert have any enemies? What’s that dynamic like? Why are they enemies? Did they ever get along in the past? Is patching up differences out of the question for the future?

I mean, the only people she has anything against are people that try to hurt the ones she loves and well, that’s self-explanatory on its own.

16. Free question space! Ask whatever you want to know!

No one asked but Luna Lovegood is underrated as hell and the movies did her dirty!!

[doomedandstoned]

The Bog Wizard Sees All!

~Doomed & Stoned Debuts~

Review by Billy Goate

Album art by Al Seamer

Michigan's BOG WIZARD was introduced to us in last year's Doomed & Stoned in Detroit compilation when they shared "The Wizard in the Bog." The lyrics carry a similar sentiment to "The Troll" by Saint Vitus, though arguably the latter was a more sympathetic character than this:

In the bog, he plies Dark and twisted blackened sorcery

He shapes, he knows Never ending hatred for humanity

Their lies, death throes Neverending fuel for his treachery

Now following the EP, 'Campaign' (2018), which was the culmination of more than a decade of casual jam sessions, the Ludington trio of Ben Lombard (guitar, vox), Harlen Linke (drums, synth, vox), and Colby Lowman (bass) have battened down the hatches to bring us an ambitious 12-track album approximately an hour and five-minutes in length.

I suppose it is fair to say that 'From The Mire' (2020) does not behave like the typical album, but its episodic quality sure would make it an attractive soundtrack to an indie film.

They'd make one hell of a good pairing with Psychic Dose, too. Both are fascinated by the swamp as a setting for mythical lore, both have a similar lo-fi production epic, and both have some of the meanest growls and nastiest riffs in the entire marsh.

The record opens by sampling a preacher sharing his laundry list "dangers" that Dungeons and Dragons portends, undoubtedly from one of those scarey Christian video tapes that got passed around to concerned parents (mine included) in the '80s. "Is this dangerous? You decide."

Right on the heels of that statement the Bog Wizard comes stomping out of the muck and into your earspace in classic doom fashion, accented by sludgy southern riffing and vocal harmonies reminiscent of Brimstone Coven.

"Submission In Defiance" is a promising beginning and bleeds right into "Tarrasque" (a dragon-like creature from the D&D universe), which is presented with epic doom bravado. "City in the Mountain" follows in like manner and its forlorn quality gave me flashbacks of the late, great Rhode Island doom outfit Pilgrim (another band that incorporated fantasy RPG themes in their music).

Doomed & Stoned · Bog Wizard - From The Mire(2020)

Without these programmatic elements to guide me, my first listen got a little bogged down in the album's mid-section, particularly with some of the instrumentals (e.g. "Gnarled Cane," though that bass does eventually get down and dirty like we're used to hearing from Missoula's Swamp Ritual). Second listen had me better acclimated.

It's worth noting that when you hear clean singing alternating with much grittier strains on a song like "Shapeshifter," that's not two people, it's just one: Ben Lombard. I found his vocal performance pretty darned convincing on the whole. His range isn't operatic, but it can soar when he wants to and his "dark side" vox are achieve the tone and pitch that Lamb of God frontman Randy Blythe might reach if he could, you know, sing.

Overall, the album is a grower, with a good handful of songs that will grab you right from the get-go and others that will probably take a time or two to fully digest (like the grand finisher, "Swamp Golem"). Then again, you just might be in the mood to slow headbang all the way through.

Bog Wizard's From The Mire surfaces from the swamp waters of doom this Friday, July 3rd (pre-order here). Today, Doomed & Stoned is bringing you its world premiere.

Give ear...

From the Mire by Bog Wizard

A Listener's Guide To Bog Wizard

By Harlen Linke

The album was put together earlier this year, self recorded and produced in our drummers basement, where we usually practice. We sound-treated the space, dividing it off from the rest of the basement, placing the guitar cabs outside of the drum area, and recorded directly on bass, so we could get away with playing everything live together without much bleed between mics. We tend to have a fair amount of tempo changes and it would be a nightmare to try to record every part separately, our music is very go-with-the-flow.

We worked with Max Schoenlein of MAS Audio (who also does shows with us, doing lighting usually) who ran the board. We worked with him on our original EP as a two-piece a few years ago. Our bassist Colby used to own a recording studio, and I've had experience mixing music, as I've dabbled a bunch in the past on various projects and mixed/ mastered our EP, so collectively we had all the pieces to self produce this full length album.

We recorded the whole thing over the course of 4 weekends in January 2020, and Colby and I passed a few early mixes of one song back and forth for awhile before settling in on a rough template to apply to the rest of the album, doing a massive amount of iterating and adjusting over the next few months, finishing the process of mixing and mastering in May. It was a pretty great learning experience, and I think the end result turned out great for what was a pretty thrown together studio. We're very proud of it.

Our bassist joined in November of 2018, and we've been working on writing this album since then, in addition to learning some covers and doing live shows locally. Ben and I tend to split the writing between the two of us, with one of us coming up with a few cool riffs and concepts, and jamming on it to figure out where it takes us. We tend to improv jam a lot of our new ideas and record everything we do, going back and listening to what we did and picking out the good parts to apply to a more structured song that we refine over time.

Thematically, we have a focus on fantasy/Dungeons & Dragons, as well as spoofing off of the '80s Satanic Panic era, but role playing games have a pretty big influence on how we go about writing our lyrics as well. I'm credited in the liner notes as "DM" or Dungeon Master, which in D&D context is the person who runs the game and story that plays out, with the players interacting with it. And while I do usually handle running our games outside of the music, we also apply this dynamic to our lyrical writing process.

Often I'll lay out a rough idea or story we want to make our song about, and Ben and I will talk through where it heads, with me leading the narrative and Ben refining it, and eventually writing the lyrics to fit the idea. While not all of our songs are handled this way, the ones that are end up as very linear story based songs.

One example, the song "City in the Mountain" tells a tale of a visitor experiencing the wonder of a sprawling underground city, with the lyrics seeming to be from almost a tour guide describing the city to them as they enter. The song has this looming theme of misearned wealth and power accumulated in the city, culminating in the reveal of an ancient magical creature contained under it that is driving it's growth, and the sacrifice of the listener being the final step of their trip deeper into the city, to placate the creature.

Or "Submission in Defiance," which the first act of the song is about an adventurer setting out to confront a highly intelligent mind-controlling enemy, and their realization that the only way to get close is to allow this creature to take control of them, and the existential struggle that a decision like that requires. However, the second half of the song describes their new mental state after this happens, which is complete submission to the enemy, doing the entities rage-filled bidding as almost part of a hive mind, with an implied complete failure of their original intended goal.

Overall, our From the Mire takes heavy fantasy influence, a few songs being straight up retellings of D&D games we have played together in the past ("Shapeshifter" being the most notable example of that, which is actually a game that had a character my daughter ended up getting named after), but we do sprinkle in our fair share of social commentary and deeper thoughts about the world applied to the setting.

From the Mire by Bog Wizard

The Bog Wizard himself is a recurring character in the album, a crotchety old bastard of wizard, living in isolation in his swamp, who doesn't take kindly to trespassers. Our single "Swamp Golem" is a song about the conjuring of a massive hulking creature created from swamp muck (featured on the cover of the album and CD itself, drawn by Al Seamer) to enact revenge on a nearby village for that very sin. He's a very "get off my lawn" type, taken to the extreme.

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[a-random-fandom-friend]

So, Netflix/BBC Dracula review : Part1, from an adaptation standpoint.

It’s a bad adaptation.  I’m just gonna warn you right ahead. I would even say as far as saying it’s not an adaptation.

First of all, the serie only follow the story of about HALF the book. The story ends at the Lucy’s deal. And it’s over, like, big end of the story, it’s not like they are waiting for season 2. At little more than HALF the book. but hey, if it’s well paced, good characters...

Secondly : the episode decision. It makes no sens.

Episode 1 follow Jonathan’s adventure at the castle of Dracula (which is now a maze contructed by a mythical architect which may have had a vampire wife, for whatever reason) and then his recruitement in the Sister’s covenant. In my edition that is 546 pages long, the first takes 77 pages and the latter is only metionned through two letters of 1 page, after it happened.

Episode 2 follows the Demeter, a boat that, in the book, arrived in Lucy’s town with no crew except for a dead captain tied to the wheen by crucifix; a black dog, implied to be Dracula, jumps out of it as soon as it touches land (and all the town search for it becasue they wanna adopt the doggo). A journal is found, that narrates its voyage, with crew memebers dissappearing one after the other with no visible reason or body. That whole story is 15 pages long. again, out of the 546 pages of that book. (fun fact: in the book he spent all the trip in a crate with soil in it, only going out to kill the crew of the boat. Here, Dracula is a passenger, because somehow now there are passengers, and when someone is like “what, you didn’t even hide yourself?” he answered “what, you really think i would spent all this trip in a crate? come on, that’s ridiculous!”. The adaptation calls the book it’s based on... ridiculous? it spends 1h30 on something that specifically didn’t happen?  that’s just... bad from an adaptation standpoint.

Episode 3 is... a mess. the first part is pure improvisation, then there’s a “three month later” elipsis and for the second part there’s element of Lucy’s story? which is about 250 pages in the book, so, about half of it ? and they crammed it all into the second half of the third episode.

Thirdly, and most important for me : the characters are not respected. 

Character they changed : I get that there is room for interpretation, and more room for adaptation.  But Mina is useless and naive, Lucy is a narcissic hedonistic party girl, (btw Mina lives in the 18-something century while Lucy lives in 2019, so they don’t even met) Sister Agatha (yeah, from the covenant) becomes Sister Agatha Van Helsing, Quincey is a fuckboy and Jack is an Nice Guy(TM), Arthur Homswood diseappeared so now she agrees to marry Quincey...

Character they made up : they a modern time relative of Sister Agatha van Helsing called Zoe Van Helsing, and also litterally ALL OF EPISODE 2: On the previously desert demeter, there’s now a captain with ptsd, a cook missing a hand, a south asian doctor and his deaf daughter, a pretty young lady, his dashing fiancé and said fiancé secret boyfriend, a young sailot, an old sailor, an adventourous guy, an old duchess... it’s actually a pretty interesting crew of characters, but NONE OF THEM COME FROM THE BOOK. There’s also Lucy’s gay best friend (who dresses kinda like Bobby from queer eye). Still not in the book.

 Dracula has powers he had not in the book (he can read people’s thoughts, and he can absorbes people memory through their blood (including their knowledge of an eintier language), and it becomes such a big plot device), and inversly, some things that worked against him in the book now don’t work at all (garlic isn’t even mentionned, he can see his reflection in mirror) or new things can hurt him (he can’t touch the sunlight, and dead or dying people’s blood is deadly to him...) and all the explanation given is “that’s how vampires work, actually.”

The thing that bother me is that... yes, nowaday if you create a vampire you can decide what power you give them, what you want for your story. The problem is,  this story was already written : this particular vampire already had a set of rules. No, Dracula cannot gain the memory of his victim by drinking their blood!  No he cannot... walk in the floor of the ocean ! that just doesn’t happen ! I’m mad!

Oh, and also he had big Moffat’s Jekill vibes, is familiar, crack jokes à la nbc Hannibal, uses emojis... not saying those are good of bad, just that they are not Dracula. (He misses the moustache and the hairs in the hand but those are super hand to adapt so i let it slide). And also, i guess he was supposed to be presented in a sympathetic light, cracking joke, missing the sun, kind of a loner bur wisecrack smug dude, but he’s doing horrible things ! he helds a woman at gun point just because he wants her to smile to him ! that’s nightmare scenario ! And it’s the guy that i’m supposed to feel SORRY for ? fuck this guy !  

That an adaptation asked me to be sorry for dracula is bad enough, but that i’m supposed to like him... And not even ONCE get a found family group... not even a scooby gang trying to solve a mystery... I’m mad. Lucy and Mina live two centuries apart, Quincey and Stewart hate eachother and Arthur is absent, the first Van Helsing interracted with mina for a grand total of 2 lines and the second is friend with Steward even before the events of the story... No one gets together to be against Dracula. The power of love and friendship and solidarity isn’t even MENTIONNED in this serie. I’m mad.

BAD ADAPTATION. 2/10 FOR THE EFFORT.

Anyway, rant to follow about of it’s a bad original story.

[shiredwarf]

aaaand it’s done - some parting thoughts that didn’t fit into the live blogging behind the cut, oh boy i’m mad :)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

the writing is so bad. so freaking bad. like i wouldn’t have thought this level of bad writing was possible without consciously trying to be terrible. see what i’m angry about (and i’ve mentioned this earlier) is not where all of this is headed. i’m ok with mad queen dany. i’m ok with cersei and jaime dying together. both of that hurts but i’m ok with it because it could have made sense (and i believe it will in the books) but it makes no sense in the show. not the way it’s done. you can’t show us dany for 8 years with not a hint of madness and then expect us to believe she flips within one episode at the freaking sounds of bells. you have to build this up and they didn’t. they mentioned targaryen madness several times but nothing dany has ever done falls into that category and this is coming from someone who really is not a big dany fan. she fucked up plenty of times, she’s got nasty traits but nothing so far suggests she would spend 40 minutes roasting children. then there’s cersei and jaime. because believe it or not: i love cersei/jaime! it’s fucked up and toxic and horrible but they are my original got pairing. thing is though as the story goes on, especially in the books, they change and at some point they just don’t work together any more and THAT’S A GOOD THING! grrm as confirmed it for the books and the entire jaime arc in the past 8 years of the show has lead us to a point where the next logical conclusion would be being with brienne. that doesn’t mean he doesn’t love cersei anymore, doesn’t mean he wouldn’t try and rescue her. and honestly, jaime killing cersei would be fucked in the show, especially if she’s pregnant. BUT THE SHOW DID NOT EXPLAIN A THING HERE! NO MOTIVATION! jaime’s just suddenly back with cersei and she’s just suddenly back with him and you’re just supposed to fill in the gaps like with so much else this season and it DOES NOT WORK. it’s sloppy. they’ve really, really messed this up with the whole SUBVERTING EXPECTATIONS! and i don’t get how that can happen. these people are experienced professionals and yet they forgot the key elements of storytelling! you can’t show one storyline consistently for years and then just go GOTCHA at the last minute. that’s not a plot twist, that’s bad writing! you can have plot twists that still follow a logical narrative (e.g. red wedding) but that requires work, that requires time and well-written dialogue so that you can go back afterwards and go “ohhhhhhhh!”. but apparently, that was too much so they just did a “whoopsy, we just all forgot about our character arcs” and then rocks fall and everyone dies

speaking of dying: i cannot get over how little i care about jaime and cersei dying. i always thought that would completely wreck me. those two together are stellar and heartbreaking and if you took that scene out of context and showed it to a younger, less bitter me, i’d be heartbroken. but all the shit they’ve pulled to get to this point has made me so numb. and that’s what will stick with me. not necessarily the bad plot or the abandoned storylines but the fact that they managed to make me care so little, that i barely felt a thing when my faves died...

What was the fucking point of Cersei’s baby???? Like it didn’t stop Jaime from leaving? It did nothing for Euron (he would have just kept trying anyway?). And it didn’t even matter to Jaime when he came back. WHAT WAS THE POINT OF THIS DUMB SUBPLOT AND WHY DIDN’T THE BABY EVEN SHOW A TINY BIT AFTER WHAT? 4 MONTHS??? 

i am utterly terrified because lena’s body double did some work for season 8 and we haven’t seen it yet. i hope it was for a cut sex scene with euron but if they start episode 6 with dany dragging dead and naked cersei and jaime through the street i will riot

What was the fucking point of Brienne/Jaime. Like I’m so angry about this. So fucking angry. I’ve mentioned that both show and book were always pointing towards brienne/jaime being endgame even if one or both end up dying but you know what’s even worse than not getting that in the show? What they did to Brienne. She’s basically just his little sexual adventure now and I swear to god if they show her pregnant next week I will lose it!!!!! (and let’s also remember that brienne never once said his name without the titles. not once. i’m so mad) But even if they don’t, they’ve damaged her beyond repair! Not only did she start her journey crying over a man she loved now she also ends it that way? And this time it’s worse because Jaime actually loved her back and she got to experience what mutual affection can be like? Not to mention she’s now “tarnished” in the eyes of her peers because she’s no longer a virgin (expected of a high born lady like her) and the guy she slept with is the freaking Kingslayer! How will she ever live that down? That will follow her for the rest of her life and she won’t even have the secret knowledge that he loved her?! Like the show won’t address this because I guess by next week she will have simply forgotten that Jaime ever existed but realistically she’s now LITERALLY the Kingslayer’s whore from the early books. I cannot believe this.

Where’s Yara? I guess she was busy and she probably forgot about her brother. Reek who?

It honestly boggles my mind how this could happen.  The show has been shitty for years now and everyone with book knowledge or some investment in the asoiaf world knows that BUT casual viewers still enjoyed it! I would have still been able to enjoy it if it went on like season 7. Sure it had massive flaws but it was watchable. All they had to do was not destroy the world they’d built for 8 years. i didn’t expect an in-depth answer to the mythical aspects (though tbh they could have just freaking asked GRRM! maybe it wouldn’t have made it into the show but at least they would have known the context and it would have made more sense then. it’s so obvious that they literally don’t have a clue about what to do with the supernatural elements) so all they had to do is bring it to the finish line. Instead, they all but bulldozed every single character arc into the ground to (pre-) season 1 state?????????? and while i do get a certain satisfaction from seeing it all crash and burn and seeing reviews and casual viewers finally realize what a shitshow got is, it still breaks my heart because i care about these characters and that’s probably the only adaptation i’ll ever see. so i wanted them to succeed despite everything, i wanted something that was watchable. instead i got this. something that has ruined years of character growth within two episodes. how can you fuck up this badly?!

WHAT. IS. THE. FUCKING. POINT. OF. BRAN? What did he do? Why is he still here? Why should I care? What did he tell us that Sam couldn’t have found in a freaking book? What was all that “you need to help us in the war Jaime you’re important” bs about?! Jaime did fuck all?!

For all their “this is not a fairytale” and “SUBVERT EXPECTATION!” bullcrap you know what? This ending is utterly predictable. With the exception of Dany now (who will die next week) who’s still alive, that isn’t either a Stark or hasn’t been morally righteous and good from their very first appearance onwards?! No one. Every bad or morally grey character is dead? Even SANDOR HAD TO FREAKING DIE FOR HIS FREAKING REDEMPTION ARC. For a show that’s been trying to tell us for years that the world is full of complex people it sure looks like they only ones getting out of this fight are the original sympathetic heroes. 

House Lannister deserved better. SO MUCH BETTER. I know, I know I’m biased here but come ON! Cersei is a fantastic character and what did they do to her? Not only did they hand her back to some creepy dude who forced his way into her bed no she didn’t even get proper screen time this season. Lena is absolutely stunning and this is what they give her???? jaime’s arc had to potential to be absolutely groundbreaking. he went from the most hated guy in episode one to a fan favourite. his arc is tragic and beautiful and represents the conflicts at the very heart of got and YET HERE WE ARE.  i honestly dread to think what they will do to tyrion next week. but great job turning him into the character with the best lines into a clueless idiot and killing the one person he loved :))))))))))

[deltaengineering]

Spring Anime 2019 Part 3: the doldrums

Spoilers: There’s going to be top tier shows in this season eventually.

Also spoilers: not today.

Araiya-san! Ore to Aitsu ga Onnayu de!

What: Anime schlub has to sub in for his father, who is a professional “girl washer”. He’s not supposed to go full lewd. He does.

❌ Unlike Nande Koko ni Sensei ga, this is actual porn. You just have to go looking for the full version, because the TV version is half as long (3:30) for some reason. I dunno, probably just a tight, moist timeslot.

❌ Well, it’s still Japanese porn so even uncensored you get mosaics all over the place, so maybe look for alternatives anyway.

❌❌ It’s porn, with all the writing, production and subtitle quality implications that brings.

Gunjou no Magmel

What: People explore the mythical continent Magmel in search for treasure and fame. A shounen protagonist watches them all die.

♎ This is based on a manhua, and you can tell by the typical tone problems. Everything about the characters is like an adventure shounen for the younger set, but it’s pretty violent and full of death.

❌ There’s nothing wrong with the above per se, but it doesn’t work. I would say it plays its hand too eagerly, so it comes across less of a subversion and more as just really juvenile.

❌ Beyond that incongruence, there doesn’t seem to be much to it. People walk into a meatgrinder while our protagonist is cool and sometimes slapsticky. Wow.

♎ It looks pretty okay, but there isn’t much effort or style to it. Hey, it’s not actually by some fly-by-night operation but by Pierrot, and they know a thing or two about (cheap, long-running) shounen.

❌ Well, they made a Chinese ripoff of Made in Abyss. I suggest you watch that instead. Or maybe Hunter x Hunter.

Isekai Quartet

What: The main characters of Re:Zero, Tanya the Evil, Konosuba and Overlord end up in a high school together.

❌❌ BUT IN A HIGH SCHOOL is only slightly less creatively bankrupt a concept than isekai itself, and only slightly less common as well.

❌ This doesn’t change my opinion that all of these shows aren’t very good. At least it reinforces my opinion that Re:Zero is the least bad and Overlord is possibly a bit better than it appears.

✅ The adaptation of the character designs to SD Flash animation is done well. In particular the Tanya characters looks better than in their own show and Ramrem are Nendoroids anyway.

❌ Going by the looks, this is building on the Re:Zero SD specials. Of course, the Re:Zero characters appear the least and Konosuba characters appear the most. It makes sense, because their bad comedy aligns best with the bad comedy of this show.

❌❌ I don’t think it’s funny and I have no love for any of the franchises/characters, which makes it a complete waste of time.

Namu Amida Butsu!

What: A bunch of bodhisattvas hang out in between fighting sins. You can’t spell “bodhisattva” without “bod”.

❌ This is very clearly an anime based on a mobile game where very pretty boys wear very elaborate clothes, so the character designs are eyesearingly garish as usual.

✅ Imagine my delight then when the first thing they do is to put them into frumpy tracksuits. That’s the single best joke I’ve ever seen in one of these. In fact, the whole episode is mostly based on fish-out-of-water comedy that’s not very unique but pretty funny when applied to these dreamboats.

✅ This looks a cut above the usual as well. About as good as Doga Kobo’s Touken Ranbu, which is the closest thing I can think of.

❌ The wild swing from cute boys doing cute things to fighting the bad mans is pretty clunky and it’s only going to get worse as a plot establishes itself.

❌ This is probably the best of these shows I’ve seen yet, but that doesn’t really mean all that much. A few decent jokes is not enough to carry something like this.

One Punch Man S2

What: The meme is back, baby. What, a second season opinion on this? Yeah, know that I think that OPM was fairly okay apart from the overreliance on its one joke.

✅ That one joke doesn’t even appear in this episode, which is the best thing they ever could have done. In fact, OPM S2 seems to hardly even be a comedy anymore. As someone who liked the setting more than the humor, I approve.

✅ I still like Saitama and Genos as characters as well. Plus, it never stops amusing me that One Punch Man is better at social commentary than MP100 and MHA combined, simply by virtue of being at least a little subtle about it.

❌ However, they replaced the joke with drama that wears out its welcome and a shitton of exposition. Neither of those are something I particularly want to see either.

♎ Of course the talk of the town is that this show moved from Madhouse to J.C. Staff and there has been a severe visual downgrade. Even though I will happily accept that downgrade in exchange for the show annoying me less, I can’t deny it’s there. I’d still say that it looks okay on its own merits, it’s only in comparison to the occasionally stellar looking original that it suffers.

♎ Since I’ve made it through S1, I’ll at least attempt to watch S2. It’s different but seems to work out to about as entertaining for now.

RobiHachi

What: Robby is a galactic gigolo and flies around with his straight man Hachi and a robot vacuum cleaner. Now that you say it, that does seem familiar.

❌ I had my problem with Space Dandy, but for all of its faults it was at least visually appealing. RobiHachi has the bare minimum of visuals and is so reliant on the banter between its leads that it might as well be an audio drama.

❌ Yeah, that banter. I don’t think it works at all. There is no wit and and barely any charm to it, which makes the whole thing extremely tedious. I checked the runtime when I felt like it was going way longer than the usual 24 minutes, and I found I was 8 minutes in.

❌ So the show does put an extraordinary amount of faith in the chemistry between its leads, to the point where there’s not much else (apart from the obligatory mecha parody that any sci fi comedy anime is required to have by law). 

♎ I kind of feel bad for this show because at least it feels like it’s going for something that might have potential. It’s just incapable of pulling it off in a manner that doesn’t bore me to tears.

Strike Witches - 501-butai Hasshin Shimasu!

What: OG Strike Witches, the baseline unimaginative 4koma comedy.

❌ I’ll just say that it’s baseline unimaginative 4koma comedy that fails (like most of these do) and move on to a more interesting topic:

❌❌ Which is the way this looks, i.e. shockingly bad. Barely animated skits can still look acceptable, but this is a barely animated version of something that looks like a 4th grader’s crayon attempt. And yes, I’m not expecting everything to look like glossy moeshit. I’m just expecting the comedy spinoff of glossy moeshit to do so.

❌ It’s Strike Witches. Without butts.

Yatogame-chan Kansatsu Nikki

What: 3:30 regional/tourism anime about Nagoya, which is apparently full of strangely-accented catgirls that confound Tokyoites.

✅ This looks cute. Strike Witches could have looked like this, you have no excuse.

❌ Do you think Japanese regional accents are funny? If not, I don’t think this show is for you.

❌ The humor is shrill and obnoxious, which puts a pretty hefty dent into the cuteness.

[ariaadagio]

Aria’s Long List of Lucifer & Deckerstar Fic Recs - Part 3

Hello, all!  Since I completed writing Castaway earlier in September, I’ve finally had a chance to start catching up on my reading list.  I still have tons left to read, but I think I’ve hit critical mass on fics I liked enough to recommend, so I’m back with another round of recs!

These recs are organized by author name and category (for the most part), and the list order is not meant to imply an order of preference.  All recommendations are completed fics unless otherwise noted.  If anyone knows the @ tumblr names for any of the authors I missed tagging, or if I got anything wrong, please let me know.

You can find my other recs posts here (part 1), here (part 2), here (part 4), here (Part 5), and here (part 6).

S3E24 Aftermath Fics

Some Kind of Mysterious by Autumn Rayne

~2300 words

This is a lovely little peek into Chloe’s reaction.  She’s somewhat thrown for a loop and initially pulls back, but as she slowly regains her footing in this new reality, the repeated refrain of “she does not miss Lucifer” becomes increasingly full of denial.  Charming!

It would be for this by Dreamline

~4600 words

Heaven and hell were words to me by nosecoffee ( @nose-coffee )

~2600 words

I’m listing these two stories together because they’re a series of sorts.  The first story is told from Trixie’s POV, which is a great use of dramatic irony.  Because of how the story is constructed, the reader knows far more about what’s going on that Trixie does, which prompts a bit of puzzle solving on the part of the reader, and the result is lovely.  The second story is told from Lucifer’s POV, waking up in the aftermath.  The last few lines in particular are heart-wrenching and perfect.  

Beautiful man with a beautiful face, who was not a man at all by an_earl

~8800 words

An_earl has a lovely, lyrical style of writing that’s captivating.  I enjoyed reading about Chloe, now in the know, considering past events in a new light.  Also, delicious angst so thick you could cut it with a knife.  

Carry On by IceQueen1 ( @disappearinginq )

~5000k words

Chloe reacts.  Lucifer misunderstands said reaction.  Some lovely heartfelt drama ensues.  Perfect all around.

heart to heart (soul to soul) by Lesza ( @spiacooczna )

~3000 words

This story starts with Chloe and Lucifer at odds, but the ice is gradually broken via the use of text messages, which is something I can intimately relate with because I’ve lived it (not the Devil reveal, obviously, but social anxiety that was resolved in a similar way).  This was the first story I read in my current “binge,” and I was captivated from start to finish.  Lovely angst, and the ending will make your heart soar.  

Simpatico by pixelbypixel ( @pixelbypixelfanfic)

~3100 words

For a funny, more off-the-wall approach to post S3, a distraught Lucifer commiserates with Deadpool.  This made me laugh and smile so much, which was something I sorely needed when I read it.

Aftershocks by Subsequent ( @inclines )

~19400 words

A lovely, more light-hearted approach to the “aftershocks” of S3E24.  Chloe deals with being “in the know,” and the gang deals with fixing the mess left behind by Cain.  Lots of humorous touches and great lines, to include everybody quickly being brought into the Lucifer is Lucifer loop. 

 Between the Devil and the Deep Blue Sea by @spirantization

~31,000 words

A series, currently of three works.  I haven’t yet had the opportunity to read the third piece, but the first two are a delight.  Poor Chloe is trying desperately to keep up with her new reality, and failing woefully at every turn.  Meanwhile, in the second story, Lucifer and Maze perpetrate some of the most hysterical sniping and snark at each other that I’ve ever read.  And, of course, there’s M.V.P. Linda, a perennial presence in both stories, trying to referee this whole mess.  I have so much love for this series!

Other Great Reads:

Remedy by IceQueen1 ( @disappearinginq )

~1500 words

Haunting, horrifying, engrossing look at what might happen to Lucifer if someone realized angel feathers could cure human ailments.

Paradiso by @theleafpile

~60000 words

I normally don’t read AUs, particularly not “all human” ones, but this story was basically a giant, “Oh, really?” that proved me wrong at every turn.  I loved this.  Theleafpile has a lyrical, poetic, enchanting writing style that will suck you right in and refuse to let you go, and even with the setting so vastly altered, all of the canonical characters were instantly recognizable and believable in their new incarnations.  Beautiful angst.  Creative storytelling.  Do pay attention to the tags, but absolutely worth a read (or nine).  

That’s How You Know by @notonelineff

~7000 words

A gorgeous established-relationship fic.  Lucifer hasn’t said those big three words, yet, and Chloe is starting to agonize over why that might be.  All of her friends provide her with examples that show, while Lucifer might not say it, he feels it.  Perfect use of ensemble.  Great balance of fluff and angst.  If pining is your happy-place trope, this fic is so for you.

They Who Fight Monsters by @obliobla

~3500 words

Suuuper dark, haunting look at Lucifer as a punisher, which also puts Chloe in an interesting light as she gets sucked into enabling Lucifer’s eye-for-an-eye form of justice.  

Your Smile Makes My Soul Shine by @obliobla

~9500 words

As you all have probably figured out, I am a complete sucker for Lucifer characterizations that fully incorporate the idea that he’s about … a zillion million years old, and has Seen Some Shit (™).  Set in a nebulous time period where Chloe knows the truth, Chloe and Lucifer make a go at dating, and the results are enchanting to read.  Angsty, humorous, heartwarming, sad, lovely, all in one fic, all in perfect balance.  

What Dreams May Come by @pellaaearien

~1000 words

In which Trixie has a nightmare, and Lucifer makes it better.  Just a quick little shot of wingfic fluff that was adorable :)  Guaranteed to make you smile!

Stars by @tarysande

~2300 words

A beautiful, heart-wrenching, heartwarming, sweet, sad character piece that examines Lucifer through Trixie’s eyes.  Deals with Lucifer’s more mythic aspects, namely that he created the stars, with a perfect ending.  Tarysande’s writing style is so easy-to-read and lyrical; I only wish I could replicate it.  

(Don’t) Put Your Arms Around Me by SomeoneAsGoodAsYou (the_wanlorn)

~9500 words.

Another Lucifer & Trixie centric piece that I just love, in which Lucifer disdainfully asks of Linda: “What’s the point of ... hugging?”  Beautifully written look at Lucifer warming up a bit to “the offspring,” and to some of the more touchy-feely quirks of humanity in general.  Lovely Deckerstar moments as well.  The_wanlorn’s characterization of Lucifer (and everyone really) is perfect, and your heart will be so full by the end of this one.  

WIPs worth a mention:

After by Apparition ( @devilish-apparition )

~21000 words

Previously recommended as a one-shot.  The author has since opted to expand into a compelling post S3E24 narrative with some promising, surprising new myth-expansion elements.

City of Fallen Angels by Endelda & NostalgiaKick

~17000 words

A quirky crossover between Lois & Clark: the New Adventures of Superman, and Lucifer.  Set near the end of S1 in Lois & Clark, and near the end of S3 in Lucifer.  The author draws some really interesting parallels between the characters of both shows in this charming, thoughtful piece.  Technically not a WIP, as it is finished, but it is being posted episodically.  

Endless by Destany_Mitchell

~10000 words

If you like Lucifer & Ella friendship, and want to read more world building a la ATWL, this might be a read for you!  The author has chosen to bring in some elements from the comics that are, thus far, super intriguing.  My interest is piqued!

Falling to Fly by FluffyGlitterPantsDragon ( @fluffydragon84 )

~23000 words

This fic!  I have yet to see a more gripping, thoughtful, atmospheric examination of the S3E24 aftermath -- this story delves into the forensics of the crime scene, and the FBI investigation into Cain’s murder.  NOTE: This fic is Lucifer/Dan as the primary ship, so exclusive Deckerstar fans beware, but even if Lucifer/Dan isn’t really your jam, I highly recommend this story for the main plot elements alone.  Sincerely, read this.  It’s worth it.

[bbclesmis]

Can the BBC’s Les Misérables do justice to Victor Hugo’s epic novel?

Few who love Les Mis the musical have read its source: a 1,500-page Victor Hugo novel. As the BBC tackles the book, David Bellos explains why it’s such a popular text to adapt.

The Sunday Times, December 16 2018, 12:01am

At dawn on June 19, 1815, in a muddy Belgian field where Napoleon has just lost his last battle, a scavenger filches the watch and purse of a dying soldier; a few weeks later, a long-term inmate of Toulon jail is released with a yellow passport and 109 francs. That’s where interlocking stories of Les Misérables begin, with Thénardier robbing the father of Marius, and Valjean setting off towards Digne.

If you think the magic of Les Mis comes mainly from the operatic version by Boublil and Schönberg, wait until you see the new adaptation by Andrew Davies, drawn from the book and not, like Tom Hooper’s 2012 film, from the musical, which leaves out most of Hugo’s novel’s story and doesn’t even mention the Battle of Waterloo. Davies’s script begins at the beginning, and the director, Tom Shankland, makes a truly memorable opener out of it.

Any adaptation of Les Misérables stands in a global tradition of spin-offs in every medium. In the cinema alone, there are about 70 full-length Misérables, in languages as varied as Russian, Farsi and Arabic. In Japan, there has been an independent strain of Mis-mania, expressed in manga and animé, for 100 years.

It’s not hard to see why Les Misérables is so much more attractive to dramatists than any other novel of the 19th century. Despite long passages of historical and philosophical discussion, Hugo’s saga of the poor has a simple narrative arc. It tells the redemptive life story of the former convict Valjean, from his release at Toulon to his death in Paris 20 years later. And, despite the sufferings that fill its pages, it is an optimistic story of how a man from the bottom of the pile may aspire to goodness and achieve it through persistence and sacrifice (plus the kind of luck that novels can invent). That’s dramatic enough.

Hugo was also a dramatist of genius. He created grand scenes ready for staging. The candlestick episode at Digne; the courtroom in Arras, where Valjean gives himself up to save an innocent man; the hold-up in Boulevard de l’Hôpital and Valjean’s escape from it; and the opening vision of a vulture-like thief robbing a dead man the morning after the greatest battle ever fought. Nearly all these great scenes feature a hero, part Hercules, part Christ, who defines himself through actions, not through thoughts and words. In fact, Valjean hardly says a word to himself, and not many to other people, either.

This leaves adapters and directors free to create their own image of this mythical figure. We’ve had a Valjean who looks like a tramp (the rough-hewn Harry Baur in Raymond Bernard’s 1934 film) and one who looks like a banker (in the Japanese TV serial), alongside handsome young men (Fredric March, Liam Neeson) and an action-movie star (Jean-Paul Belmondo) who had trouble pretending to be the right age. What we’ve not had is a Valjean who looks like Hugo: a short, broad-shouldered man in late middle age, in remarkably good physical shape. Despite being too tall, Dominic West, in this new TV version, comes closer than most. Les Misérables is not autobiographical (Hugo never went to prison, got buried alive or went down the sewers), but the writer’s moral self-identification with the suffering hero is one of the fundamental strengths of his book.

It was destined for the stage from the start. Even before the last volumes went on sale in July 1862, Charles Hugo, the writer’s son, began drafting a stage spectacular. A script doctor was hired to get it into shape for its premiere in Brussels in January 1863. It still flopped. But, published as a book, it influenced adaptations as to what to cut and keep.

The addition of music also has roots older than the West End musical version. Almost as soon as the first American translation of the novel appeared, a dramatist called Albert Cassedy dashed off Fantine, or The Fate of a Grisette, a popular opera with a score by Charles Koppitz. Music also plays an overlooked role in the novel: the tune Cosette practises on her piano- organ and the songs sung by schoolgirls in the Champs-Elysées, by convicts on tumbrils, by students in restaurants, hummed by a hunter in the woods and shouted out by an urchin on his way to the barricade, make up a concert programme of popular music in 19th-century France. It’s time to dust these off and perform them as the music Hugo had in his head.

Britain has had an unhappy relationship with Hugo’s epic tale because its authorised translation, by a retired military gentleman with his own views about what happened at Waterloo, was a complete disaster. For legal reasons, no new version could be brought out for decades thereafter. It didn’t help that the translation was available only in a costly hardback format.

Les Misérables reached its real audience in Britain through stage plays, and it’s amazing to see just how many there were: Charity, by CH Hazlewood, “founded on Victor Hugo’s story of Les Misérables”, was performed in London in November 1862; then came Jean Valjean, by Harry Seymour, Clarance Holt’s Out of Evil Cometh Good, in 1867, and many more. They concentrated heavily on Part I of Hugo’s five-part novel. The battle scene at Waterloo in Part II and the “revolutionary” stories of Parts IV and V seem to have been ignored most of the time.

In Russia, too, Tolstoy’s retelling of Les Misérables in simple language focused on Bishop Myriel’s charitable gift of silver to a rough customer. It was this fable-like episode, transposed into English by Norman McKinnel as The Bishop’s Candlesticks in 1908, that was turned into a silent short film by Herbert Brenon in 1913, which was then remade with a soundtrack in 1929. It never stopped, leaving Andrew Davies with a rich inheritance to renew — and to overturn. But he keeps one of the glitches that early translators made and that all Hollywood movie versions retain: he has Valjean steal the bishop’s silver cutlery, whereas in the novel he steals his silver plates (the French word “couvert” having changed its meaning).

One reason why Les Misérables has been remade in so many languages and periods is sex, or, more precisely, its total absence. It wasn’t prudery that kept Hugo off the topic. (He had plenty of experience, to put it politely.) But Les Misérables is about justice, social morality, crime, punishment, the meaning of history and the full potential of human life.

It’s true that old Gillenormand boasts of his past as a rake, but at 90 years of age, he’s long past acting out. It’s also true that Fantine becomes a prostitute — but Hugo deals with the episode in just seven words. Adaptations that put sex into the story express not what Hugo wrote about, but what some audiences are expected to find alluring.

On the other hand, a belief in the existence of a god is integral to the book’s meaning. Deeply sceptical of the Catholic church, Hugo omits Christian artefacts and rituals (including midnight Mass at Montfermeil and the church wedding of Cosette and Marius) to a degree that is almost comical in a panorama of 19th-century life, but he insisted that Les Misérables was a religious work. The prismatic glint of sunlight through foliage that Shankland deploys in the new BBC version, to show the start of Valjean’s conversion after robbing Petit-Gervais, seems to me an intelligent and respectful way of hinting at what Hugo meant.

One of the more puzzling aspects of Les Misérables and its flourishing international afterlife is its exclusive focus on France. There’s not a single foreigner among the 120 named characters in the novel; barring occasional remarks about London, Poland and the United States, Les Misérables talks exclusively about the history, politics, social structure and social ills of the country that Hugo considered to be top nation for all time, namely his own.

Though largely written in Guernsey and initially published in Belgium, the book was written for the French by a man whose long exile had no foreseeable end. Its first translator into Italian requested permission to cut historical passages because “there are some Italians, rather a lot in fact, who say: ‘This book, Les Misérables, is a French book. It is not about us. Let the French read it as history, let us read it as a novel.’”

Permission was refused. The intensity and completeness of this exposition of the social ills in 19th-century France effectively turned that now mythical place into a stand-in for the whole world. You can’t blame Hugo for not being in tune with 21st-century ideas of the politically correct, but you have to admire him for standing outside the conventions of his day.

His response to the translator has a prophetic sense, and answers in advance the question of why his French-focused masterpiece continues to attract readers, fans and adapters all over the world: “I do not know whether [my book] will be read by all, but I wrote it for everyone... Social problems go beyond borders. The sores of the human race, these running sores that cover the globe, don’t stop at red or blue lines drawn on the map. Wherever men are ignorant and desperate, wherever women sell themselves for bread, wherever children suffer for want of instruction or a warm hearth, Les Misérables knocks on the door and says, ‘Open up, I have come for you.’”

David Bellos is the author of The Novel of the Century: The Extraordinary Adventure of Les Misérables (Penguin £10.99). Les Misérables starts on BBC1 on Dec 30 at 9pm; Dominic West is interviewed in the Magazine next Sunday

‘The Glums’: a potted history

● The full text of Les Misérables in the right order of reading was not available to British readers until 2008, in a version by the Australian writer Julie Rose.

● In 1897, the Lumière brothers shot a one-minute reel of a quick-change artist masquerading as Hugo, Valjean, Thénardier, Marius and Javert. This was the first time fiction had ever appeared on celluloid film.

● Victor Hugo’s wife, Adèle, operated as publicity manager for the novel’s launch. She created a poster campaign featuring illustrations of the main characters, making the novel’s imminent appearance known long before its publication. Nothing like that had been done before. She also had announcements prepared for newspapers and requested that they were held back from publication until she gave the signal, making Les Misérables probably the first work launched under embargo.

● When Hugo was ready to publish Les Misérables in 1862, he secured the publishing deal of all time: in today’s terms, he was paid about £3m as an advance on a contract allowing the publisher Albert Lacroix to print the book for just eight years. Lacroix had to get a huge bank loan to finance the book.

● Charles Dickens met Hugo in Paris in 1847, visiting his splendid apartment on Place Royale. There is not a trace of the event in Hugo’s records, which suggests the British author didn’t make a strong impression on the literary star of his day. In Dickens’s eyes, though, Hugo looked “like the Genius he was”.

● Hugo’s contemporaries weren’t all taken with his novel: “This book is written for catholico-socialist shitheads and for the philosophico-evangelical ratpack,” Gustave Flaubert wrote to a friend.

● When Hugo fled France in 1851, both his sons were in prison and Louis-Napoléon — Napoléon III — was his sworn enemy. “Because we had Napoléon le Grand, do we have to have Napoléon le Petit?” he quipped.

● Les Misérables has been adapted for radio and cinema more times than any other novel.

● Classical literary French had a restricted vocabulary. Racine got by with about 2,000 words. Hugo uses about 20,000 different words in the 630,000 words of the text of Les Misérables — maybe as many as in all of Shakespeare working in English, which has a much larger vocabulary in the first place.

https://www.thetimes.co.uk/magazine/culture/can-the-bbcs-les-miserables-do-justice-to-victor-hugos-epic-novel-50wtqgvdj?t=ie

[clairen45]

Who Let the Dogs out? A story of wolves and dogs in Star Wars

This meta was a long-time coming and prompted by @blacklakeinavalley. I always keep my promises, no matter how long it takes me, so here it goes.

Wolves or Dogs?

There have been some awesome metas on wolves in relation with Rey and Kylo more particularly, notably by resident she-wolf extraordinaire @raven-maiden (I am using the term in the most reverent way possible!). I also plead guilty to a meta I did with parallels between the Company of Wolves movie and the ST. I won’t necessarily go back to all the cool theories that have been made about wolf behaviors in Kylo and Rey, but I will draw the following distinctions, though:

in terms of symbolism, per se, there are not so many differences between wolves and dogs. There are both qualities and flaws associated with these particular animals. The qualities and the flaws are, more often than not, interestingly the same from a certain point of view

Qualities: fertility, sexual desire and power, fidelity/loyalty (to partner, pack, or master), fierceness, intelligence

Flaws: debauchery and savagery.

They are both considered chtonian divinities, that is to say linked with the “underground”, or the realm of death and Hell. Think of Cerberus, for instance, the mythical Hell hound, or Anubis in the Egyptian mythology. Which means that, as a symbol, it means both death and the potential for rebirth. The dog can guide the soul back out of Hell , or guide it through its journey into Hell (something usually called a psychopomp creature) . Dogs and wolves are usually associated with elements such as the moon, fire, and the earth. So, water (the moon is considered a watery element), fire, and earth.

So on the one hand heralds or bringers of death through destruction and carnage, and on the other hand, companions, fierce parents, and bringers of life. Life, death, decay that brings new life, peace, violence etc... Very ambivalent creatures that are either loved and revered, or despised and deemed as impure and dangerous.

If there is no huge distinction between wolves and dogs as far as symbolism goes, I would say there is a big one to draw, though. A dog, after all, is a domesticated wolf. What it gains in familiarity and companionship for mankind, it loses in grandeur and nobility. Also, this 4-legged favorite pet moniker is often used to insult people. A “bitch” is not in itself derogatory: after all, originally it just means a female dog. Yet, it is anything but when you apply it to a woman. Same goes with “dogs”. When you call someone a “dog”, except when you are the Snoop, this is usually not to sing their praises. Note that some people will even go as far as sometimes changing the spelling to avoid confusion: “dawg”... And what about “mongrel”, or “cur”? Dawg be darned, what about “rabid cur” for one?

Die, Jedi dogs!

So, in our beloved Galaxy far far away, this is how dogs find their way into the story and the mythos. On the battle of Geonosis, in ROTS, as C3P0 finds himself -as usual- flustered and confused after a mixing up of his body parts with a battle droid, he utters these very lines.

No wonder that the “dogs” get involved in an insult. Dogs are the persisting attribute of all the "wretched hive of scum and villainy”:

The bounty hunter Bossk and his ship called Hound’s tooth

The bounty hunter Embo and his hound called Marrok

That one has got a really interesting story in itself. The species is called Anooba, and is native of Tatooine, which of course will link straight to Anakin and Luke. The name is also full of possibilities: it probably comes from a medieval tale, the tale of Sir Marrok, who was a werewolf.

The vicious Corellian hound used in Solo by Moloch and his gang. BTW, one of the hound was “played” by one of “GOT’s direwolves” ... Funny thing.

Not to mention THIS famous dog in SW lore:

Oh, yea, this is happening. Because, ANH called it right away when Leia served this line to Tarkin about her papa:

Governor Tarkin. I should have expected to find you holding Vader's leash.

As mighty as the Dark Lord has become in the SW universe and collective psyche, this awesome and powerful villain is presented as nothing more but a dog. Maybe not quite the poodle, but still a dog. Obedient, trained, who will bite only when his master commands. Gives the word “MASTER” quite another meaning, not just as an apprentice, but literally as seen from a dog’s perspective.

So, no surprise then to see the term re-employed by Snoke to talk about Hux, when he calls him a rabid cur in TLJ. Interesting also that the one using a reference to being “tied at the end of a string”, aka a leash, is also Hux, the rabid cur. Except, that, well, there is indeed an implicit distinction to make. Kylo is also, in many respects, as much a dog to Snoke’s bidding as Hux. Many viewers would even expect Snoke to call Kylo the rabid cur instead, given the tantrums we were privy to in TFA. But he doesn’t call him a rabid cur, and that’s the whole point. In Snoke’s mind, there is nothing rabid about Kylo -though people would have assumed as much- and he is certainly not a cur. A cur, after all, like a mongrel is clearly used to define a mixed breed. The term “rabid cur” is derogatory on two levels.

When referring to Kylo, Snoke is a bit more complicated. There is, on the one hand, the idea that, contrary to Hux, Kylo is valued as “pure breed”, a prized possession cultivated for “the potential of his bloodline”. Purity of blood (damn you midichlorians) being also alluded to, and mocked, by Luke when he talks to Rey about his failure to be a master to Kylo. Yet, at the same time, Snoke keeps on chastising Kylo for being a fraud. He is not the pure breed he expected. He has the feeling he got a mongrel that was tainted by the Solo blood. Hence the insistance of erasing Han Solo of the picture and denying him and his legacy. Yep, Ben Organa Solo is a mixed breed. Snoke wants a pure breed, maybe even a wolf. Pure blood. Untainted, untampered with. Leader of the pack. Well, that’s the project. A wolf and no lapdog.

Or not... Because, this is a little something I found on The astroly Web about the wolf and symbolism, and I will say it is quite interesting:

What I love about this portrait of Kylo as a wolf is that you get some of Kylo and some of what he could have been as Ben Solo. Some of the qualities remain, such as the sense of mystery, exuberance, instinctive and shrewdness. But most of it has been ironically ruined by his lack of self confidence. So as a wolf, he is not complete. The compassion bit really got me because it is the one thing that Snoke reproaches him with... Is he a wolf, or a dog in wolf’s clothing? Or a dog that dreams of being a wolf? Half and half, mayhaps?

Good dog! a rehabilitation

So are there any positive references to dogs in SW yet? Yep.

Anyways, dogs have always been part of the Star Wars mythos, altough not necessarily the obvious way. Take Chewbacca for instance. There would not be Chewbacca as we know him had it not been for George Lucas’s faithful pet, Indiana (who can also be thanked for giving the famous adventurer his moniker). Allegedly, Lucas got the inspiration for Chewie, Han’s copilot, when seeing his wife leave on her car with their huge dog on the copilot seat.

Funny thing is no dog played any part in Chewie’s distinctive sounds, which turn out to be recordings from a bear,a walrus, a badger, a lion, and a seal. The fact remains that Chewie exemplifies the dog’s most praised qualities throughout the saga: as a staunch and loyal friend, as a source of love and comfort (the famous Chewie hugs), and as a protector. Yes, just like dogs, Chewie can be fierce and defend his friends.

You could also argue that there are other examples of companions who exemplify the same doglike qualities in the movies. Droids such as R2D2 and BB8 just fit the model. Loyalty, check; defense, check; huggable, check. The perfect pets and companions. It says a lot that Chewie and R2 are the characters that have endured the longest in the general scope of the saga: R2 appearing in episode 1, and Chewie in episode 3, which make them the only ones that have recurring roles in the three trilogies (Chewie also scores Solo and R2 Rogue One).

There is a subversion of “dogs” as an insult that is quite interesting in the ST. Maybe it starts from this “Die Jedi dogs”, which is quite an oxymoron: the one time it is used as an insult it is to the people that are normally the golden moral standard, and also uttered by someone who is always all too polite and all too diplomatic. Also also, it is not totally incorrect as you could view the Jedi as the guard dogs of the Republic...

But wait, all that was before the ST. In the ST we get brand new examples of dogs and doglike behavior to ponder. Take Rey, for instance. Sitting there, loyally, on Jakku, waiting for her parents to return, a behavior not so different from the countless examples of dogs keeping watch on their dead masters’ graves (like that little famous Scottish from Edinburgh, Greyfriar’s Bobby, who even got his statue to commemorate). After all, this is exactly Rey’s place: Jakku is pictured as a graveyard, a place that is described literally in the novelization as where “technology came to die”. And where does she make a house for herself? As @blacklakeinavalley pointed it out to me in her original ask, in an AT-AT walker which is called non the less: the Hellhound!!!! 

Seriously, like, of all the stupidest dumb names this is the one they picked! An appropriate one, to boot, since the At-AT has always had that distinctive look that made it look like a dog... And I have always been intrigued by this particular rendering with a little girl holding an At-At on a leash...

So, yes, the dog. Here really the corpse of a hound. But symbolism is not lost here... Death that feeds off new life, reborn out of hell... And who could this hellhound be, pray? Well, it gets even better when you know that this particular Hellhound was part of a ship called the Interrogator... Interrogator, mind you, and not something as dreadful as, say, an inquisitor. No, the Interrogator is quite a good one because who is the interrogator since the beginning of TFA? Ummm? Who else but our boy who “interrogates” Lor San Tekka, and Poe, and well... eventually Rey. Rey makes a home for herself there. It’s like Kylo is her home already... ain’t it cute...Also, Kylo as a dog, a “hellhound” is a good one as his job at the beginning is somehow to “hunt down” Luke, sniff his trace throughout the galaxy if you will, and then fetch the information back to Snoke. Good boy Kylo eventually fetches quite another prey... Even though again, Kylo seems more like the wolf at the begining of the story to Rey the dog... Look at the symbolism of the dog from The Astrology Web

Adventure, patience, hardworking!!!! You need to spend more time with your family!!!!!

There was yet another girl that exhibited some interesting doglike behavior in the ST, in a positive way. Unfortunately the scene got cut out. But when Rose bites the finger of Hux on the Supremacy as he mocks her and her system, this is an interesting one. Dog fight, right? What better way to get back at the rabid cur than bite him back?

Wolves will show the way

And then there are wolves in SW Rebels. When I did a piece on birds in SW, I mentioned the convor but as I hadn’t watched any of the Clone Wars or SW Rebels episodes yet, so I had no idea how truly symbolic these specific creatures could be. Careful not to make the same mistake again, and time to tie it in. Wolves (and thus in a way dogs) play quite an important part in these two series. Time to focus on Mortis then, and the World between worlds, introduced to us in SW Rebels. I think it is obvious that this is a very important addition to the SW universe. How they will eventually exploit it in ix is hard to say, yet, but the possibilities are huge in the expanded universe that Disney is preparing between the new shows and comics, and possibly future movies.

Ok, so, I don’t want to get too much into a detailed explanation (too long and complicated and some have done a good job on that already), but, as a reminder, Mortis is introduced in season 3 of Clone Wars to Anakin, Ahsoka and Obi-Wan as a mythical/mystical realm of the Force, dominated by three figures: the Father (the balance), the daughter (the light side), and the son (the dark side). Cool thing, even though we don’t get the convor and the wolf but rather a griffin and a bat, there is a moment when a wolf is plainly visible on the right next to the father:

And then, years later, comes SW Rebels. And so we get Ahsoka followed by a convor, which turns out to be the totem spirit of the daughter. Birds are therefore linked with the light side of the Force, the Eros, the life force, the one that points to protection and life. Which is really the whole point I made in my bird meta anyways (especially with porgs). So one would naturally assume that the wolf, as the creature associated with  the son, the dark side of the Force, represents death, Thanatos, the impulse for destruction, the symbolic triad of the Force being the convor, the snake, and the wolf as depicted on the mural uncovered in SW Rebels in quite an Indiana Jonesque formula (evil guy covets mystical artefact that will give him superhuman powers):

But then, there is more than meets the eye... Because the wolves we actually get in the SW universe are not pictured as merely destructive powers. Quite the opposite. In SW Rebels, the wolves give access to a portal, the world between worlds, with a potential to alter past, present, and future. They truly are psychopomp creatures that guide a lost soul (here Ezra) through a world that can be at best described as a vacuum...

And there are the other wolves to reckon with.

Wolffe, the clone trooper commander, linked to Ahsoka and Anakin, one of the few who refused to be part of the code 66 protocol and became rogue, the one who lost an eye (a very symbolic type of mutilation), and lives like Rey in a modified AT-AT. which thus makes Wolffe a link of continuity between the different generations and arcs within the SW universe and saga.

The Loth-Wolves which are featured on the mural of Mortis and frame the portal to the world between worlds. Loth wolves have the ability to communicate with humans, are strongly connected with the Force, and seem to become a vessel for the soul of Kanan Jarrus after his death. Again, the psychopomp.

What to make of it eventually... well... it all depends on what type of creatures we get in IX. Keep you eyes peeled out for birds, wolves, and dogs. But mostly keep your eyes open for Porgs. Always.

To conclude, for your appreciation, this is from a photoshoot Daisy Ridley did for Vogue in 2017 .... The girl that walks with wolves... one black, one white, no less..

[stringnarratives]

Making a Critical Hit: “Critical Role”

[This post brought to you with major spoilers for campaigns 1 and 2 of Critical Role. Editing and research help for this post by Brady Wallace and John Masserini. ]

“When the livestream begins every Thursday evening, not even many-voiced dungeon master Matthew Mercer (who you may recognize as the voice of Overwatch's McCree, for one) knows precisely where the adventure will go, or if everyone will survive.”

Tyler Wilde, “Permadeath and D&D: The pain of losing a character, and why it can be great”

Nearly every Thursday night since March of 2015, fans of Critical Role have logged onto Twitch to watch the show that bills itself as “a bunch of nerdy-ass voice actors playing Dungeons and Dragons.” The show’s first campaign, narrated and run by Dungeon Master Matthew Mercer, followed the adventures of a ragtag (if deeply emotionally damaged) group of misfits calling themselves Vox Machina - played by voice actors Laura Bailey, Taliesin Jaffe, Ashley Johnson, Liam O’Brien, Marisha Ray, Sam Riegel, and Travis Willingham - as they defended the mythical realm of Tal’Dorei. For two years, fans watched as the party defeated dragons, traversed other planes and trash whole cities as they thwart evil, and were eager to kick off the second campaign, following The Mighty Nein, in January of 2018. 

To say the show has evolved since it first aired four years ago would be, frankly, understating matters entirely. 

What started off as a tabletop role playing game among friends in LA became a featured show on Geek and Sundry’s multimedia lineup, which in turn became its own studio with Critical Role spin-off shows, parallel programming, and a record-breaking $11.38 million Kickstarter campaign for its own animated series. The Critical Role Youtube channel has, at the time of writing, amassed 37.6 million views on its videos since it launched in May of 2018 and the Twitch channel has more than 277,000 followers. 

But as the community has grown, as the studio introduces more and more exciting projects, and the hype continues to build, two things keep viewers coming back week after week: The compelling story and the people who create it, both of which contribute to Critical Role being an occurrence of “live” narrative that exists in few other contexts. 

It is, quite literally, unpredictable.

The show is purposefully unscripted other than DM Matt Mercer’s world-building and overarching plot, though even these things may change depending on character reactions, which are primarily reliant on character personalities and improvised player decisions. A character is totally within their rights to jump off a cliff and plummet to their doom if they so decide (and they have before), though they all -- to our knowledge and the knowledge of the other players, at least -- have the singular goal of pushing forward with whatever adventure they have been tasked. 

As players have little foresight into what will happen, this means that character action is very frequently reaction. Details in the world which might be informative could go wholly unnoticed by characters, and just because a path exists doesn’t mean the players will take it. At the beginning of Campaign 2, Fjord (played by Travis Willingham) is on his way to study at the Soltryce Academy to further his magical learning when he encounters the other party members for the first time. However, after a kidnapping, a death and plenty of other wild occurrences, by episode 30, he indicates that he has changed his mind and has decided not to find the school. The character motivation changes in reaction to in-game events and, while potentially not unexpected for the audience, this decision snips otherwise yet-to-be-fulfilled ends of the storyline. In a memorable example from the 30th episode of Campaign 1, Scanlan Shorthalt (played by Sam Riegel), improvises a plan to break into a mansion by polymorphing into a triceratops and bursting through the roof. 

All of that to say, Mercer as the DM ultimately has more knowledge about what could happen than what will happen, but is reliant on the actions and reactions of the characters to carry it out.

Not only is there an element of structured improvisation that makes the show unpredictable to the viewer, but the reliance of tabletop gaming on dice rolls to further plot and determine character outcomes can make for quite a surprise. As 20-sided dice rolls modified by character statistics are the primary basis for many actions in Dungeons and Dragons, there is often very little indication ahead of time what dice rolls will be fortunate and which ones will not be.

This is where math comes in. In an odd and cyclical coincidence, one of the most clear mathematical and scientific explanations I’ve found for this actually comes from an article from the National Center for Biotechnology Information database, which, at the end, credits Critical Role for introducing the author to the concept of rolling a D20 with advantage. In “Multiple statistical tests: Lessons from a d20,″ Christopher R. Madan breaks down the likelihood of achieving any number on a 20-sided dice (with a nice chart for my fellow visual learners). 

“In the current (fifth) edition of Dungeons & Dragons, a tabletop game, many in-game events are determined based on the outcome of a d20. However, to make some events more likely, there are times when players roll a d20 ‘with advantage’, meaning that they roll the d20 twice and take the greater value... For d = 20, i.e., a 20-sided die, the probability of obtaining any specific outcome is 120 or .05. If n = 2 dice are rolled, the probability of obtaining at least one 20 is 39400 or .0975. If n = 10 dice are rolled, the probability of obtaining at least one 20 is ≈ .4013. With n = 20 dice, this increases further to ≈ .6415.”

Any player has a  5% chance of rolling any given number on a fair, 20-sided die. (You can do the math on Critical Role’s rolls here and here, thanks to CritRoleStats.) The result of fight scenes (death, near-death, injury) are reliant on these dice rolls, making scripting these major narrative events impossible. Perhaps the most notable recent example of a plot-bending dice roll occurs in the notorious 26th episode of Campaign 2, in which Mollymauk Tealeaf (played by Taliesin Jaffe) knocks himself unconscious after attempting to cast a blood curse on an enemy, who - unaffected - then kills him.

In a PC Gamer article “Permadeath and D&D: The pain of losing a character, and why it can be great,” Tyler Wilde discusses Mollymauk’s death in the same terms of unpredictability versus other forms of narrative media: 

“A scripted show would probably not have casually rolled Jaffe's character, a carnival performer named Mollymauk and a favorite subject of cosplayers and fan artists, into a shallow grave just 26 episodes in. And neither would that show include a scene in which the actor is told they've been written off.“

This death being permanent (at least up until the time of writing) created an echo of trauma throughout the party, changing attitudes and realigning intentions in surviving members, from Yasha (played by Ashley Johnson) fleeing out of grief to others seeking revenge on Lorenzo (played by Mercer), the villain in question.

 And while both Campaigns of Critical Role take place in a setting where magic has the power to resurrect the dead, this too may have - and frequently does have - some sort of balancing cost. In the 44th episode of Campaign 1, Vex'ahlia (played by Laura Bailey) is killed in an attempt to recover a legendary set of armor from an underwater tomb. With the help of others in the party, her twin brother Vax'ildan (played by Liam O’Brien) manages to revive her, but only after pledging himself to be a Champion of the Raven Queen, a goddess of death. This, in turn, adds a new level of complication and motivation to Vax’s character, which is reflected through the rest of the campaign.

For roughly three and a half hours most weeks (not including breaks), fans of the show are at the mercy of statistical, individual and emotional variance, and have been since 2015. The campaign-based continuity of Critical Role doesn’t have the breaks common in the “season” of other broadcast series media, running year-round with the exception of major American holidays and the occasional rest week. Campaign 1 had 115 episodes in its main continuum airing from 2015-2017 (although the game had gone on for longer than that before broadcasting) and Campaign 2 has racked up 63 episodes at the time of writing since it started in January of 2018. 

On one hand, having a non-traditional “season” format gives Critical Role a lot more temporal wiggle room for building out the narrative and a resulting viewer connection. A show lasting 3.5 hours on average and airing 35 episodes a year for 3 years adds up to about 367.5 hours (or 15 days) of narrative content over those 3 years alone. According to a CritRoleStats count featured in the latest episode of Critical Role commentary show Talks Machina, the show and its one-shot episodes have aired for more than 800 hours total. For comparison, Bingeclock.com estimates that it would take around 3 days to watch all 8 seasons of “Game of Thrones”, 5 days and 1 hour to watch all 10 seasons of Friends, and 18 days to watch all 31 seasons of Mister Roger’s Neighborhood. Having such long episodes and long campaigns not only allows for Mercer and the cast to delve deeper into the details of the world and inner workings of each character. As the players’ perspectives and style change in real life, so do the characters themselves and how the audience relates to each in the context of the the overarching narrative. What results is a feeling that the viewer too has been on a journey full of unexpected twists and turns.

On a more minute level (no pun intended), the timing of the game may also contribute to the emotional highs and lows of each episode. While rounds of combat may each last 6 seconds in the world of the game, an involved battle may take more than an hour of play time and particularly tense skirmishes can see audience pressure rise until the last enemy has fallen. Tension is, especially during combat-heavy episodes, unavoidable, but there is some promise that if the heroes make it through, we’ll all be able to breathe a sigh of relief.

From the unpredictability of dice-rolls to the long-term evolution of characters and plot, Critical Role exemplifies the unique draw of live broadcast tabletop gaming: A well-woven narrative with simply too many variables to be truly scripted. From the time that the camera begins to roll to the last seconds of each episode, neither the players nor the audience can predict the twists and turns the characters will encounter. Every skirmish may be someone’s last. Every decision may put our heroes on a new path. And as the story unfolds week by week, all any of us can do is wait patiently for the next Thursday to roll around.