#and have so many damn legs
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I refuse to fix/add more to this
He/him for Kitty
#not me hiding Howdys many shrimp leggies in shadow bc they looked bad 🫠#but seriously#im so proud of my idea of mantis shrimp Howdy#but mantis shrimps are so fucking colorful#and have so many damn legs#and they have weird feather lookin things#idfk#welcome home#howdy pillar#welcome home howdy#welcome home oc#my ocs#kitty dearest#mermay#mantis shrimp#catfish#merfolk#my art#digital art#clip studio paint#csp#oc x canon#canon x oc#self ship#self insert#fictosexual#f/o#🪱
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Part of the ship! Part of the crew!
Part of the ship! Part of the crew!
#law babygirl#bathtub's art#one piece#trafalgar law#monkey d. luffy#roronoa zoro#black leg sanji#vinsmoke sanji#tony tony chopper#usopp#one piece brook#one piece franky#god why are there so many people on this damn ship#there Had to have been someone else he could team up with buddy cmon#you think the strawhats are gonna go along with your plans my guy what#im on episode 676 im chugging away Ill get caught up again if it kills me#one piece fanart
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"if i became disabled i would kill myself" damn okay. i can kill you right now if you want
#pure gold takes by ME#cw#ableism#BITCH SHUT UP YOU WOULD NOT#'urgh uaoau life would not be worth living if i couldnt walk' damn. are your legs all you have going for you (pun intended)#this makes me so so mad and ive heard so many peers talk like this. what is wrong with you
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alright i'm back
some shitpost (even if this took 3+ hours to make)
vargas by @zarla-s
also credits to mysillycomics on twt (that one ".... peach time ah so sorry" pic)
#sunny's art#zarla s#edgar vargas#vargas#this took so long and it doesn't make any sense because this is something simple#jake#i love jake so much man#like i keep saying this everyday but i just love him#and drawing him is so much fun too#i have a bunch of ideas about things like this but i don't really have time to draw them#drawing the blood stains on his face like “poor man”#also i drew him with his glasses at first and then i remembered he didn't have them#alright umm#damn poor man#also i know that this is the first time they've actually met on the fanfic but i don't care#they have done so many things but they don't know it#i honestly love them so much#i really like this ship#ohhhh jake#jake is so dreamy#giggling and kicking my legs#what a nice man honestly#i don't know how tumblr works#would it be weird if i said this actually made me feel kind of sad#idk just edgar looks so tired then he finds jake and he feels a bit better almost immediately#man i love jake#i really really really love him#i just realized i forgot the bandage on his neck ughhhh ughhhh
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you know i had a fun little vp idea i wanted to do for the cyberpunk anniversary but i haven't had the energy to even touch it recently so i'll just settle with saying that this game impacted me in ways i never thought it would when i first picked it up 3 years ago. i knew i would enjoy it, i had been looking forward to it for a long time, and despite a ~controversial~ launch, i had a fucking blast from day 1 (on ps4 no less). regardless of bugs and memes and public dunking, the story grabbed me like nothing else could at the time, and it reignited so much of my passion and motivation for art that i had lost in the clutches of mental illness and i'll always be grateful for that. it introduced me to so many wonderful people (some whom i carry very close to my heart), and maybe most personally surprising, it gave me an outlet to understand parts of myself that i had been too afraid to acknowledge for a long time, the courage to accept and embrace myself as non-binary, and allow myself to just BE without trying to convince myself i'm crazy. that's not what i expected from the get-go but it's been a really fun journey to be on ngl
#yeah this fandom been a little rocky in places but i would be lying if i said this community here wasn't special to me#so much love and passion and creativity to be around and be inspired by#so many people who have been impacted by this silly little heartwrenching game#devs who have poured their heart into it to deliver something genuinely incredible#its one of those strange things that really did fully change the trajectory of this little leg of my life#to think that until 3 years ago i hadn't even touched art in a decade#now there are lovely people who want to spend money on my work#3 years ago i bought my first (and only) refurbished ps4 to play this game and now im sitting on a fancy gaming laptop#ive said it before but vp has been such an important creative outlet too#its allowed me to live my dreams of being a film director. a cinematographer. a writer.#the whole game has let me be so damn self-indulgent sometimes i feel like a kid again just unashamedly playing barbie#finding the JOY of just. creating.#i learned so much about myself through an OC because of this game#it went from 'huh what is this feeling? gender envy?' to being like full blown 'oh yea. i get it now.' so much of my life makes sense kfslf#and i met people who mean the world to me on top of it all#woof anyways#i know i say it a lot but genuinely thank u to yall who have encouraged me and supported me and who enjoy the things that i make#youve made such a difference in my life without knowing it!
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Yeah the mouthwash game is pretty good
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#the klock keeps ticking#gonna have to stew on this one a lot and probably go back from the beginning and analyze everything#but uhm. damn it goes so hard#just some things I WAS able to pick up that I wanna highlight#the whole ‘take responsibility’ thing has so many meanings but the way jimmy avoids responsibility for everything thats his fault#and takes responsibility for all the wrong shit like taking on the captain role after the crash and his ‘reckoning’#is him so not getting it at all and taking it upon himself to ‘save’ curly#he really does go ‘i learned my lesson’ while not learning shit its so good god#its so infuriating how it ends and its so good and it hits too hard ugh#i love the way curly is portrayed like he does seem like a nice well intentioned guy and a good leader#but like. everyone except anya is a man. so first off we cant say hed be as well regarded if more women were around#and the way he enables jimmy its too real like. he personally hasnt seen jimmy be that way so oooh#surely he cant be beyond reasoning with surely he just needs someone to talk to#its a very good subtle way of showing complicity cuz curly really isnt ill intentioned but he doesnt grasp the severity#and anya is trapped in this really unsafe position and her other coworkers are a kid and a drunk#also the way she acts around jimmy in his pov where shes like praising him is like#can be interpreted as her being scared of him and trying to stay on his good side#or jimmy being full of himself so his image of her is warped as some damsel fawning over him#and the way curly post crash cant speak or move he can just watch with one eye#and he in a very fucked up sense ‘takes responsibility’ for not putting his foot down with jimmy cuz he watches the guy be a horrible#captain and he literally experiences frequent assault cuz oooghh god the painkillers oof#their dynamic is very well written just the resentment and adoration jimmy feels is so fucked#he wants to be the biggest man he sees curly as the cake at his special party#forces curly to eat his own leg saying ‘someday he’ll thank me’ UGHHH#also the mouthwash itself symbolizes a lot of shit ive not gotten to think about yet but honestly one of the hardest hitting parts of the#game for me is the reveal that the stuff these people were risking their whole lives to ship was just. mouthwash. poor quality too#like stopppp its too real like we’re supposed to devote our lives to capitalism and kill ourselves for it and its literally for something so#so fucking worthless like you put everything into this but you contribute nothing to society#im def hitting the tag limit so ill finish with. curly in the cryo chamber absolutely going to die and the credits rolling#jimmy is so stupid and you know hes kissing his own ass for this and will survive i hate it its very good
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#horrible leg cramps have calmed a bit but are continuing along with thumpy heartrate increase#and my magnesium supplement is out of date and i'm not trying to go out after more#look up leg cramps just to see if there's helpful advice#let's see continuing leg cramps causes: diabetes ✔️ okay. thyroid issues ✔️ vitamin deficiencies yeah ik. severe anemia too ✔️#this does not narrow it down at all#oh also cholesterol medications too so ✔️#but the only one the dr has been calling me to come in for is the anemia so ...#just why suddenly after work you know? like they still *function* fine it's just this constant 'something is wrong'#ever since i got sick my body chemistry has been utterly whacked and now i'm not sick but it's getting weirder not better#i have had leg cramps before (why i had the magn and potassium supplements) but they went away after i slept#these went away then came back also they showed up just as i was feeling better#after a day of just feeling the malaise of a bad day spent feeling 'something is wrong' but nothing specific enough to identify#so like it was a good sogn bc i felt better but now it keeps on and i'm feeling bad again#i really hope it *is* the anemia because it would explain it but damn how am i gonna function until friday i can't sleep#and also like i've been whete these numbers are at before so why is it so much worse so suddenly#that's what's worrisome - where are all my red blood cells going? bc that means the internal bleeding thing is back on the table#well or the bone cancer?#there are too many things that could cause the same symptoms what tge fuck#torn between just taking aleve until nothing hurts (except if it's my kidneys ... or hey my stomache bc nsaids)#and packing a hospital bag just in case because catastrophisizing is what you do when you're home by yourself#it's so hard to tell when you're fat but you *think* you've been losing a weird amount of weight for no known reason#ignire this i'm typing it out bc i need to put it down somewhere and this blog is like a journal
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man, i just want to see if there's any threads about silent hill 2 remake breaking so hard it doesn't even boot up anymore but all i find are people being evil about women on the internet
#happy halloween i guess#the real frights (besides all of the beautiful women skittering along the walls with their many legs)#were the men we found complaining on the internet that 'they made the women ugly and that's censorship' along the way#that prison level sure can is scary#so scary that it fucking broke my entire game lmao#gonna reinstall and see if that fixes it but was hoping i would not have to do that on my shitty rental internet 😩#i will say that this game runs like ass to anyone who is considering it#i'm running it on medium graphics with specs above the recommended and she still do chug when there's more than one thing happening#and let me say there are often several things happening#probably things i could tweak to make it run better but god as soon as i have to tweak a game to get it to you know. run well. i'm gone.#i just miss my wife my beautiful wife#too bad she died three years ago of that damn disease and no sooner than that by any other means or et cetera#i'm sure these thematically loaded ladies who keep hurting me from behind corners hold no particular significance#just a regular trip to my special place that is now the dead wife hell dimension where a large man is hunting me for sport#a large man who is the embodiment of sexually charged masculine violence#which i'm sure means nothing#and is hunting me to mete out specific and thematically hamfisted judgment#for some wrongdoing or another#which could honestly be anything#shoutout to the one guy on steam who is like um was i supposed to get what happened on a first playthrough?#and like. well. yes. because it literally and directly tells you. so yes. sorry.#i will also say that if it destroyed my save in the process#well. i would not like that very much.#but i suppose the real problem is that they made the women ugly. because of woke. the DEI ghouls are taking everything from us.#[picture of average skinny white woman]
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hey guys
#vent#just... gimmie a sec im gonna put it in the tags i cant find the readmore on my phone rn#im havin a straight up not good time but not the worst in the house!#the worst is my cat. whose old and dying. and i have no money to put to sleep to fuckin put us both outta this misery#typical. she cant get a heart attack and go fast like my moms dog#shes gotta wail and be ill for a month while im recovering from one surgery and trying to get ready for the next#its also an amazing time for my ocd that i learned i have from artists on hear explaining what it is to send me into spirals#over germs. but shes just 20 with teeth and respiratory issues her whole life and been struggling with constipation#so i KNOW how shes dying. shes backed up and hungry and dehydrated but feeling bloated still and not eating or drinking.#shes probably got arthritis and has been moving like a geriatric for a while but its to the point now she wont even lay down. shes just#perched on a pile of towels in the bathroom dozing and occasionally crying for me to come pet her. im so fuckin tired#and theres nothing i can do! the vet i could find a timeslot for in a reasonable time said 500$. so thats cool. im paying 1000$ for me in#a week for my stuff and its just. god all she and i are doing is crying and it sucks ass#she wants company for comfort and i dont blame her - so the fuck do i!#but i cant sit in the bathroom with her my damn legs keep going numb. and my roomate 1) cant emotionally buoy me thru this#and 2) has a long work day tomorrow and its already mad late. sigh#dont try to offer me condolences ive worked thru her dying already its just now we're botb exhausted in the form its taking#if anything i just need another distraction to keep me from spiraling over something again#edit: ARUGH AND THE OTHER CAT THROWING UP IN THE OTHER ROOM. GOD DAMN IT#the younger one has so many allergies and wont stop fucking eating things off the floor babygirl i am BEDRIDDEN you gotta stop eating shit#off the floor!!!!!!!! you have specialty food for a reason!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#awesome it was right in my bed
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ANYWHO goodnight tumblr i'll be back on the art grind tomorrow i think 🙏
#haunted ecosystem#i'll take a burst of creativity in a different form than usual than the burnout slump i've been in for a few months#<- part of why my fandom stuff has taken a smidge of a backseat#dont get me wrong i am still very excited about my fandoms im just having fun off in oc hell (affectionate)#its nice to just be able to create and not really worry about perception. and also i feel Less bad about just throwing ocs into the wringer#((blame the fact i've been REALLY interested in whump recently and i have been. fixated. on one of my characters.))#and ALSO i've been! rekindling my flame for wtds. i've been putting off thinking about it since that fic got.#nothing bad happened? but it was still very devastating that somebody who i considered a friend from that fic just. evaporated.#but i'm gonna finish that fic for him :) even if it takes a year. even if it's the one thing i finish ever. it'll be wtds.#for where its gotten me and the fact its what got me out of my shell and is the reason i trust that my writing is good!#i used to really hate rereading my work. i catch flaws that are obvious to me. but that fic. i just think about how *good* the story is#that story means. a lot to me? as a person? like the main character is not a good person. but people care about him anyway.#and there are so many little things. so many sentiments. so much that is a love letter to people who've done bad but learnt to do better#because. god knows i wasnt a good person even just a few years ago. and maybe i see myself in him a bit.#he came from a place of paranoia and fear and pain. and maybe its a good thing that i've found it difficult to write him recently.#because god. i've been HAPPY. even with the rough moments and bad days. i've been happy. i mean fuck.#my birthday's what. ten days away? god damn man. i'm going to be 18. that's an achievement.#i want to look the kid who thought it was over at half my age and tell him we fucking made it. and there are more years to come.#there's a life ahead. even if it's going to be a bitch. even if it's going to be tough. there's love in your heart and people who care and#you're going to fucking live and you're going to feel better one day. you have people to meet properly and thank and cherish.#because for every day it feel like the world's ending there are a dozen more where the sun shines just the right way through the rain#and you can't help but smile because it's just so god damn beautiful.#and fuck it. you're sick. your hands hurt and your legs don't work right. and it's tough sometimes. but you have people who understand.#you have people who honest to god love you for who you are and appreciate your company. and 18 is the first step.#you've spent half your life unlearning things and you've spent half your life relearning how to be what YOU want to be#and if you're a mediocre artist and passionate writer then you'll be fucking great at that. taking the time to learn when it strikes you.#and maybe this is for me. but its also for anybody reading it too. please god if there's one thing you take from this let it be that#somebody out there cares. *I* care. god i care. even if we've never spoken proper i care about you.#i practically have a list of everybody i see in my inbox. i love seeing familiar names show up. i.#i dont know how to neatly wrap up this tag ramble. but. i am so damn full of love it hurts sometimes. its scary to be happy but thats ok!
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The most VALIDATING thing about my new space and our new office in general is students telling me how nice and accessible it is and how I DESERVE an office. That I can finally have a break from people coming in and needing me 24/7.
I can ALSO have CONFIDENTIAL meetings with students and zoom meetings with students without onlookers or people overhearing.
The absolute BARE minimum needs to do my job! Especially since I'll be absorbing MORE tasks since my friend/colleague is leaving. I'm sad she's leaving but I 1000% understand why and she deserves a position where she has support and isn't just a punching bag.
Thank you for reading my rant.
#a day in the life#the power of a new office space#and a god damn DOOR#and a WINDOW#and being ACCESSIBLE#like i generally didnt hate coming back after i went to cvs cause i desperately needed chocolate#I rarely get a period with my arm implant bc but when i do....woof#miserable cramps#chocolate cravings#grouchy pants#you know the deal#i also have 15 fucking mosquito bites on my legs#one of the downsides of summer#that and heat scorchers#but thats showbiz baby!#or at least summer in new england#despite the menstruation#ive been in a decent mood today#and i have a date later with a boyy#we're going to trivia and going to loose epically but it'll definitely be a baja blast#also thanks for reading my tags#literally just rambling#OH!!#we're also rebranding our office and its now the Center of Disability Access#cda#i need to make so many changes
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Rules: Make a new post and post your latest line from your WIP and tag as many people as there are words.
Hough! Okay!!! Technically I’ve been tagged in this twice, by @sagethegremlin and by @neurotypical-sonic ! Uhm. Except. I’ve not been— okay so I have been writing but
I got thinking about a project that I did a little bit of two (2) years ago, right? And I was just reading what I had written down two years ago, and I realized I used the word ‘neck’ twice, and that bugged me, so I changed one of the words, so technically the last “”sentence”” I wrote is just. The word.
“[…]skin.”
Which isn’t fantastic for a last line, tag, I think, so I thought ‘oh okay I’ll just go to the thing I was writing before that’, except that’s my extremely self indulgent splatoon TMNT crossover that I may not even like. Publish. so I’m a little uncertain about sharing a snippet of it because it’s a very very new direction for me (putting, what is, essentially, an oc into an established -verse) and I’d like to nurture it a bit more before I share anything
So then I thought ‘okay okay I’ll go to the thing before that!’ but that’s just. stopgap. which is already published. So I’ve just been sitting on these tags and sweating
and I did think ‘oh i’ll just write something new and slap that on here :)’ but then I. Didn’t do that. And I am so so aware of the passage of time so!
Here is my line.
“Edelgard knows only that she is alive by the breath, wet, against her skin.”
for which, the only new word, the rest having been written two years ago, is skin, so. I will be tagging @lessrthanthree . Godspeed chief
#mobbtalks#I happen to have a soft spot for fire emblem games that rears its head every so often#that snippet is from an au I think about on and off#where in that very very first like. bandit encounter#instead of using the divine pulse to stop the bandit Byleth instead gets in between Edelgard and the bandit and takes an axe to the back#which ends with her losing the use of her legs#an au spawned mostly by me noticing just how many damn stairs garreg mach monastery has
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same but im only 18
Also trama dumping in tags like a B) very cool sane person (im actually pretty good mentally im just fruity in the brain)
!!!Violence for self Violence mention!!!
‘why are you 30 years old and still trying to have fun with your life instead of being a soulless cog in the machine’ fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you
#Me but im 18 with a supportive anarchist dad#Im trying to just make money off of my art#Trying my best to learn actual skills#Meanwhile everyone else#Just telling me i will never equate to anything#If i dont force myself to work a horrible job#Where i know i wont be able to handle it#I literally HAD to drop out of school#I have too many scars to survive that environment#Plus like my dad actually makes a good bit#We plan to have a garden and sell crops!#Im very happy about what my future could hole#But everyone else just makes it such a horrible exsprence#I just want to build a good future i will be proud of#One that i will be happy to live#And like my dad is okay with that and just <3333 hes so cool#Shout out to my dad#Opset of shout out to my mom for being the main contribution to this#Hh i cant hate my mom (most of the time) but damn#Literally will cry if someone calls me annoying bc of her#I grew up thinking in stupid worthless and picky#Turns out im actually a lil bit above average in book smarts and problem solving#Also like im hot#So thats worth something#Also im not picky im autistic and even then like the only thing i dont like is#Like tomatoes onions and that weird bit in chicken legs also rubbery ham pieces#Other than that im a trashcan for food
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you seem so nice and sweet, I hope you're doing okay. <3
may the birds and ducks give you kisses everytime you leave your house
#YOU'RE so nice and sweet#i am doing brilliantly#gonna go to banff with my wonderful partner#first of many adventures#and in the tradition of oversharing in my tumblr tags lemme tell you some tmi#i always thought ppl crying after sex was like 'what are they crying about some deep trauma damn'#but then it happened to me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#literally just cause i was so happy and feeling so loved and like holy shit i get to have this for the rest of my life?#sweet#the only thing i worry about nowadays is one of us getting hit by a car#it is a wonderful state of being#also forcibly unemployed which gets me stir crazy but that's ok#i am watercolouring and making clay and going out to see birds again#i fed woodpeckers and nuthatchers and chickadees out of my hand the other day for 20 min#and caused a duck riot#fun fun fun#also why do we not learn about proper layering for cold temp and being active in school?#i was wearing cotton as a kid so much sweating n shit#smh#go merino wool my beloved you expensive fuck#i am wearing this thermal leggings all the time now i always hated leggings except for these#what else#got accepted into like 4-5 universities so i will probably be a teacher hopefully#which means same days off and schedule as my beloved triskets#i am the luckiest person that has ever lived
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No fucking way unisom overdose can actually straight up kill you and my only issue as a 12 year old was not taking enough 🤦♀️
#for years i like didnt like to tell ppl the drug i took to OD because i heard from so many sources that sleeping pill OD was never deadly#and i felt like such a faker poser wannabe for not knowing that when i was 12 and trying to die#but i was just thinking about the tiny lesion on my kidney and everybody telling me its from my years of using ibuprofen on my period#but then i thought. what if unisom OD can injure your kidneys? bc i always take ibuprofen as recommended for my body weight#but i took way more than the recommended amount of unisom so maybe that was it#CARDIOPULMONARY ARREST is a potential consequence of severe overdose#omfg i feel so validated like i Could have died i just didnt have enough pills in the bottle to get there#yay me. real suicidal child instead of a cringefail one ❤️#jk lol glad to be alive and to have lived past age fucking 12 omfg. what a terrible age for life to end at#but anyways medically significant overdose will absolutely box your kidneys#so i think its safe to say that my little baby ''overdose'' that i walked off could be a reasonable source of my little baby kidney lesion#so u know what this means? im taking some god damn ibuprofen bc my legs are killing me
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cooked
#IM COOKED#went geocaching w him last night#was super fun literally spent hours doing it got dinner n whatnot#hes so. cute#his nose is so pretty.#dying over here#I QUITE VERY MUCH LIKE YOU A LOT#WHAT#my brother in christ#had a phone call w my dad in front of him n uhhhhh#dad was like so i heard you got a boyfriend :)#THE WAY WE BOTH WERE SO EMBARRASSED AND WALKED AWAY FROM EACH OTHER#CHRIST#we are planning on getting married#AND WERE LIKE THE SAME. IN SO MANY WAYS#not even just him agreeing w me (a problem) like hell say his view on slmething and im like damn me too....#LIKE I ASKED IF HE WOULD EVER WANT KIDS OR WHAT#AND HE WAS LIKE I COULD BE HAPPY WITH OR WITHOUT#IF AN ACCIDENT HAPPENS AND IM PREPARED ID LIKE TO KEEP IT THO#AND I WAS LIKE DAMN ME TOO!!!! Wtaf#maybe thats a common belief to have idk#fuck. i like him so much#i slept at his house lol#ohhhh my goooooood#no sex cuz parents....#woke up at 6 cuz he had work obv#tuesday is my friday but tuesday is his tuesday lol#AND HIS CAT WAS SNUGGLED IN BETWEEN MY LEGS#AND JUST BEING HELD ALL NIGHT??? AND HES DOING THE CARESSING BACK THING???#insane
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