#and has to fix a lil bit
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Me, trying to get around the screaming and blocks my demand avoidance loves to put on me whenever it can so I can actually write some of the shit stuck in my head because I have so many story ideas (and want to be able to post and share them with others, damn it!), is always an… interesting time.
The latest strat, since a long-time issue of mine is “write a little, then edit those bits to death until i toss it all in the trash because I���m sick of editing but can’t get myself to write more”, is, like pretty much everything relating to getting around demand avoidance, stupidly round-about. How so? Well…
Basically, take advice of “write everything at once without editing, then edit (and revise and all that) once you’ve got it all written out!” but add the reward/rule-bending/getting out of that semi-demand of “…but you can edit anything still visible on the page while you’re writing” to shut up the brain gremlins gnawing at the bars and trying to painfully twist their way out of their cage.
But the important thing with this tactic is that I use typewriter mode in my writing program of choice, which sets the line I’m writing on in the center of the screen. There’s maybe 12 lines visible at most above that so pretty much all I can edit as I go that’s “on the page” is within the last paragraph or two at most as I’m counting from whatever the last stuff I’ve written is.
Get one-upped, silly brain.
#personal stuff#writing stuff#brain will find ways around this ofc#but the idea is to get it confused about what the demand is basically#initially going with ‘editing constantly is so demanding’ worked#buuuuuuuut the more familiar and routine something becomes the more of a demand it becomes too#so ya gotta mix it up#(and no editing at all just makes my brain too gumpy atm as I’ve literally ALWAYS edited as I write something#as I do writing sentences and even tags here#because my fingers go faster than my brain processes and when it catches up it sees what came out and just goes ‘…what’#and has to fix a lil bit#also because sometimes I’ll write something and two sentences later my brain goes ‘WAIT I KNOW WHAT I WAS TRYING TO WRITE NOW WHOOPS’#so I’ll let it revise in the last few sentences… as a treat#and then tempt it with ‘but can you get so good you only need to revise a word or two in the last sentence?’#because one thing i also am is COMPETITIVE#(when I feel motivated to compete that is))#tbh this probably sounds like a lot of nonsense#but then again… my brain is a lot of nonsense#I am a LOT MORE nonsense#the goal is to simply have the nonsense at the end come out looking (somewhat) (kinda) like sense#(and to have it come out so others can see said nonsense#because I want to share it!!!)
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Respectfully I need him to lay down on top of me
#I want him to just lay down#rest his full weight on top of me#let me squish his belly a lil bit#I think it would fix me#I want him to fully plant himself on top of me#i want him to do unspeakable things to me#i want to do unspeakable things to him#he is so !#dungeon meshi#laios touden#delicious in dungeon#I think I’m ovulating and my body has decided the only way to fix it is for him to put his weight soft belly to soft belly on top of me
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they're fucking with the UI again I see
#I already miss the lil reblog symbol#having it all be text feels...messy#but I'll wait a bit to send in a feedback ticket#but to any staff reading this: that's my feedback#messy#will see if xkit has a fix for this if it stays#that is all#personal#tumblr
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OH ARTHUR BENNETT.. such a gorgeous and intriguing character. terribly burdened by a GRUESOME set of crimes, his light suffocated by a HEAVY century of GUILT. so tragic, so dark and broody, and yet PAINFULLY awkward in any social setting ever
#jrwi fanart#cw blood#jrwi show#jrwi suckening#arthur bennett#OUHH THIS ONE WAS SITTING IN MY WIPS FOR SO LOOOONGwhen i took it out there was mould on it :sob:#BUT i think i was able to fix it up okay#i keep seeing SO MANY MISTAKES RRAAAHHH BUT YOU DONT SEE THEM RIGHT?? THATS ONLY ME. RIGHT?? EXACTLY.#THE KEY IS TO SAY. AND REPEAT AFTER ME. 'FUUUCK IT WE BALL#so anyway. arthur bennett huh? grizzly says that arthur is reaal fuckin difficult to play. and i SUPER get that. i mean LOOK AT HIM..#grizz often needs a minute to think abt what hes gonna say in a way that matches w that Stoic Personality. which is FAIR but also that#ends up making way for awkward confrontations like: the lady in the parky lot. he took too long to answer and scared her away.& I LOVE THAT#arthur is tragic and sad and cool and stoic but hes ALSO awkward and silly and kinda dumb and short sighted. HE HAS COMPLEXITIES#I LOVE WHEN TTRPG CHARACTERS HAVE A GOOD SET OF SHORTCOMINGS. ESPECIALLY WHEN U FIND THEM ONLY AS U PLAY THEM.#I COULd go on and on saying the same things w different words abt arthurs intriguing and entertaining character but i shall spare u. for no#ILL ALSO MENTION HOW MUCH I LOVE HIS FLAVOR THO.. I LOVE TALL HOT BOY WHOS ONE W THE DARKNESS.. I REMEMBER WHEN HE FIRST MENTIONED THE#BADLUCK. N I WAS LIKE OOOHH THATS WHY HIS DESIGN IS SO COOL N CHAOTIC N ASYMMETRICAL. HES UNLUCKY!!! i love love love his design so much...#GRaaauruguguraguhhghghgh what else what else is there for me to spew on abt...i think im reachin a limit here..OH MAGNUS. i hope that#we get to know more abt how magnus and arthur met.. like How they became besties... ouuhh... I ALSO WANNA KNOW MORE ABT MARY DAVIS. LIKEHOW#he also apparently spent alotta time in a zone dominated by edward twilight? all he remembers is constant partying? I WANNA KNOW MORE..#i think i got room 4 one more ramble SO. THE ART PIECE.as i said its gone a lil stale BUT. im still very proud o the bits where hes allScar#I WANNA SEE HIM GET SCARYMORE. I like the idea of shadows solidifying to make him strange and eerie.like TEETH n CLAWS n SPINES n YESS#also the SILVER EYES.no1 does silver eyes like the show Claymore. they make em look so striking and eerie...i also like to think that#human arthur had deep beautiful brown eyes.just in my beaitufl heart.i mean look at him..i wanna cook him n eat him.ANYWAY#i think thats all my ramblin for this piece. now i gotta go cancel a single day i had ata hotel bc my work schedule change last minute FUCK#feel free to ramble in my tags aswell tho i read all of them and i chew on thenm and i love them so sos os mcuh
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peach pit
[ID : a chubby skywing dragon named Pyrite, who has yellowish-orange scales with a lighter yellow underbelly and dark freckles across her scales, resembling the inside of a peach. she has a crest of dark spines along the back of her neck and on the tip of her tail, antler-like horns, her body is dappled with scars, and she wears a cord around her neck like a choker. she is sitting down, facing towards the left, with her wings held open and an uncertain expression on her face. the background is a teal rectangle with white peach blossoms overlayed on top of it. END ID]
#thinking a lawttt about how pyrite was described to be the same color as a peach a lot#the freckles as described in the id are supposed to make her look like the inside of a peach#she has scars all over her body bc she was enchanted to be really clumsy so i would imagine she would be constantly getting hurt by acciden#her feet [and other skywing feet] have a fifth toe on the back kinda like raptor claws that they use for balance and grabbing things#in winter turning the original pyrite[?] was described to have black eyes so i gave her really big pupils -#- that would probably make her eyes look black head-on#she has lil bear ears btw !! i think skywings and icewings have bear ears bc theyre smaller and wont get cold as easily . also theyre cute#i just thought the crest of spines would look cute but then i realized the resemblance to icewing spikes so i added them to the tail too#the antler horns looking like icewing reindeer horns also wasnt intentional i just wanted them to look unique -#- instead of the generic straight horns or curved i usually give skywings#i think she has quite a bit of icewing remnants left over despite the spell actually#like i would imagine her fire is weaker than the other skywings and would be a lot less hotter#she also instinctively isnt used to skywing proportions hence why shes sitting the way she is with her legs all weird and wings not closed#other than that shes rather boring and isnt very flamboyant bc i think scarlet would think she doesnt deserve it#i dont really have any other design notes everything was added last second or by complete accident gafksndkxk#I JUST REALIZED THE THUMB ON HER WING IS BACKWARDS . I WAS WONDEIRN WHY IT LOOKED WEIRD CKJFMCJXNX#whatever im not fixing it. suffer with me#🖌#wings of fire skywing#wings of fire#wings of fire pyrite#og my GODDD tumblr eated the wuality on this one real bad wtfff
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Workout update of the night: woohoo!!! Also ouch!!!
#EVERYTHINGS GOING GOOD AND IVE NOTICED THAT GETTING BACK TO MY WORKOUTS HAS STOPPED A LOT OF THE HEART PANIC 💪#the only bad thing is I think I’ve fucked up part of my right hand a lil bit it’s been stiff and achey the past several days and I have not#been able to fix it#I’m p sure it’s the consistent strain of my weights so I might have to lay off of em/ try something different for a bit? idk#also once again shoutout to my left shoulder blade for not being where it’s supposed to be#it makes things a little harder but that’s okay!!#and I said it the other day but I’m v happy with my progress#I am not strong by any real means yet however I started doing this stuff towards the end of August? and now it’s October#and there’s def a difference :]#fingers crossed I hope tomorrow is incline pushups day#that’s my favorite day#Lynx talks
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found this old cheap secondhand leather jacket recently and I adoooore it, busted bits and all. also still repping my beloved barbed wire trans shirt from @homoidiotic ❣️
#txt#red eye makeup + leather. best combo#also u can see garfs in the background aldka#alas the shirt pic isnt the best but suuuch a good shirt!! soft n comfy#w the jacket ive sewn up the arm tears ✅️ will try repair the small outside underarm tear today... cant fix pocket zip myself but thats fine#the lining for the arms is a bit messed in both but half shredded in one lol. which i mmmight try fix but might just leave it#given it a quick clean + go over w mink oil ✅️ looking. a lil better... has definite wear on the back n arms. seems its been thru some stuff
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ok so everyone who says its sooooo quick and easy to switch from chrome to firefox is a goddamn liar
#trousled rants#i am Annoyed fellas do not mind me#TESTING OUT The Big Switch because chrome has done a stupid fucking update recently & it keeps reversing my fix#and was fully expecting just a quick lil thing since everyone always talks about it importing all your stuff. not a big event#no. i have been logging back into everything and redownloading extensions and editing the fuckass BOOKMARKS TAB for like an hour now#and i still have a whole presentation to put together before 10am. head in hands. yeah so atbb might be a bit late tomorrow guys#also good lord its using so much memory what the hell. 2300mb compared to chrome's 1600mb. yall lied to me!!!!!!!!
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DOUBLED MY RAGGEDY COLLECTION AT THE THRIFT STORE TODAY
#it's like some higher power saw my post abt how dry the area was for them a few months ago and went 'damn. my bad. i'll fix that'#like my personal collection has quadrupled (started at 1 ann now there's 2 of her and 2 andys) and all three of the new ones have been#thrifted from bootstraps. previously i've NEVER seen any raggedies there (and i'm there A Lot. bc i'm a lil bit in love w one of the#employees) . up until these 3 the only local raggedies i've ever seen are my ann from a lawn auction in ct. the ann that came w her that i#gave away to a lil kid at the same lawn auction who rlly wanted her. and the $40 andy trashcan in shindig which i'm not spending $40 on bc#it's a fucking trashcan#romeo.txt
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i've done SO much adulting this week i've called insurance for drs on my plan, looked at low cost therapists, got a hold of AND sent for medical records from BOTH offices, looked at food resources, looked at emails, had a breakdown, and now a small creative project!
someone tell me their proud of me pls or i'll explode
#so monday is my reset day: laundry. clean up a lil. catch up on a show#tues i called insurance and did the therapy list#(havent contacted bc i need to call insurance to see if mental health is a part or no)#wed i rotted lol#today has been everything else:)#both tues and today was food but apparently i dont have enough so thats for tmr lol#emails w drs stuff and i cleaned it out a bit#breakdown bc mom and roomie (which like. hoooooooooo boy i wish i knew what was going on in his mind)#i put on my bop playlist and threw on my kandi to deter! :D idk if its working yet#n i gotta fix my sketch books metal ring binder#its like. catching on the back end n idk? so im making a lil embroidery floss tie together for it:)#OOH and im eating w/o being prompted today!
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on another note, im finally planning to soon release a muse preview of my shadow man i teased awhile back!
his premise is that he's a shadow entity borne from dark emotions manifested into a consciousness by attaching to a dying human. in his case he was borne from "envy." his lifelong ambition is to become "human" or more accurately to feel "complete." shadow entities are not complete souls after all so by seeking out humanity, he believes he can become a complete soul.
as of right now, he's masquerading as a powerful noble mage whose family specializes in the forbidden arts. he travels constantly seeking for more knowledge and answers
#✦ NO longer bound by fate. (ooc.)#very morally grey character but ive rped him a lil bit in a dnd campaign im doing with friendos so im excited to introduce him LMAO#i really need to fix up his bio but hes pretty much established#if u need vibe inspirations its like black butler / shadows house inspired LMFAO#he has a big ass estate with a bunch of weird humans he took in out of curiosity
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i uh. scratched my car pretty bad lol
#liveblogging life#the parking lot for my new apartment has a VERY narrow entrance#and uh turning into it is a little tricky???? idk why since i managed it fine so far#but today i think i turned a LITTLE too closely and ended sliding along the pole right by the entrance#and now i've got these long scratches down my back right door whoops#like. they're pretty noticable.#no damage and i didn't dent anything i think???#so im like. well i wasn't planning to resell the car anyway so i honestly dont really care that much#but on the other hand it's kind of embarrassing to have evidence of my shitty driving on display like that lol#and my dad's going to be soooo upset about it way more than i am lmao#i dont really want to spend a ton of money getting it fixed but they're definitely deep enough they'll need a repaint#i ordered some paint touch up & maybe i can just like... sort of help it so it's not quick immediately obvious???#idk man it's a bummer but im also kind of like /shrug about it too you know? im more surprised it took me this long to ding it lmao#actually i think i might have dented my car a lil bit bc the bottom right panel is like. slightly loose now#idk idk i dont really have the money to spare to get it fixed if it's going to be expensive so im kind of handwaving it right now tbh
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Melli in the gear station family au is like that one lovingly overbearing family member who comes to see you at your job and tell you that you're doing a great job, except he needs an excuse to tell Akari & Rei their doing a great job so part of his getting lost is intentional and part of it is genuinely accidental (hc he has an absolutely terrible sense of direction and gets lost in a straight line, Zoro from one piece style) so when they find him and help him he's like "you two are SO GOOD at your jobs, the BEST employees here, honestly" and like half of the ten most recent gear station reviews are from Melli praising Akari and Rei.
Ingo and Emmet ask them if he needs to be banned from the subway and the younger twins are like "no, he's fine. Embarrassing but he means well and it's all good." (They have a hunch that Melli Knows Them which is why the kids are fine with hanging around him and helping him, but also all three of them are so at ease with each other that they had to ask just to Make Sure everything was fine even though they were Pretty Sure there was no issue)
#pla akari#PLA Rei#Warden melli#Gear station family au#Melli is like. 4-5 years older than the twins so they've also been p close#They're cousins but they've spent so much time together he may as well be their older brother#He helped change their diapers. Poorly. But he did. (He brings that up when he wants to tease them)#The gear station crew is initially suspicious of him (why is this Unknown Man being so friendly towards the kiddos?)#Until Melli was intentionally overly obnoxious one day to a commuter who'd been giving the twins a hard time#Approached the person to talk LOUDLY about his own hair and treating his hair stylist so good bc he's so greatful for their hard work#Can you IMAGINE bring on your feet all day and having to deal with assholes who think they can do your job???#Or who get upset when one little thing goes wrong? That's why MELLI is ALWAYS so thankful to his hairstylist and doesn't give them shit#Esp when the hairstylist is running late or dealing with some sort of UNEXPECTED PROBLEM that they're WORKING ON FIXING#Obv Melli can wait a lil bit!!! Bc his hairstylist is a person too!!! And he certainly couldn't do their job!!!#And then he 'gets on the phone's and starts talking about how he's so grateful that people are SO PATIENT when there's an issue that#Employees can't immediately solve. Can you imagine being the kind of asshole that acts like a machine's fault that causes a delay#Has been intentionally done by the employees? Purely to inconvenience them???#While he's saying this he's making eye contact with the asshole commuter who squirms and eventually goes to apologize for being so short#And grumpy w the twins. And the gear station crew is like. 'ah. This man is One Of Us.'
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Some stuff I've drawn semi recently
#keese draws#oc art#oc#ocs#furry#furry oc#furry art#Ive been going thru it recently but Ill survive#on the bright side the pet sitting job for my aunt is coming up soon#so Ill have a house to myself for a bit at least#Im probably still gonna be fairly offline for the foreseeable future unless I somehow manage to fix my sleep schedule anytime soon#not to say I will be on any sorta complete hiatus or anything just that Im not getting any more active most likely#not that I think anyone rly cares at this point since its been the norm for a while now but yknow#Ill still be around to answer asks and stuff just dont freak out if I take a lil bit to see it 👍#anyways enough of being a downer Im actually pretty happy with these even if theyre mostly just doodles#also I havent posted any art of these guys in a While but say hi to them while you can cause theyre back into the void of my brain now#first is keese (the oc™) second is toon and third is clyve#all from different stories but toon and clyve are both from the magic cat universe#their paths never meet tho the closest connection they have has to go through like 4 characters first#you can also tell theyre from different stories because one is anthro and the other isnt lol#generally speaking I consider anthro designs slightly more canon but both are canon depending on the story#not in a shapeshifting way just in a me being an inconsistent bitch sorta way#but yeah keese the oc is much older than either of those two I just dont talk abt them or their story ever#but hey if any of yall remember suckerz those two are besties#suckerz is sort of younger than the other two and sort of much older than all three#shes a sort of updated version of a reallyyyy old sona sort of character I had in like 6th grade I think#back during my lilo and stitch experiment oc era where I had one that was music themed#I also had a digimon variant of her she was called like beatramon or smth like that#she was basically a hypothetical music mascot and shes kind of still that tbh#if I ever get enough into making music that I start posting shit it will be my music mascot
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movie poster: first attempt
#bandersnatch#netflix bandersnatch#black mirror#black mirror bandersnatch#poster#edit#need to fix the hair#a lil bit with the book#maybe the text#it has a lot of mistakes i knowwwwww#but heyy this was fun and fast i should try more🏃🏽♀️#movie poster
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Thinking of Kaveh with Unhinged partners again
#//By that; I mean partners who commit the Violences and deadly Chaoses#//Furthermore; said Violences being done upon other ppl bc that person is a Fighter with a side of bloodlust & destruction#//HIs every opposite in damn near every way#☆ ┆ ( .ooc. );#//So lik#//I watched a Wu of the Wa playthrough#//And I fucken LAUGH#//Now Kav is not so dumb he would be FOOLED into thinking they are innocent#//But like#//Them deffo having an on-off thing bc they still manage to worm their way into his heart time and heckin again#//Him continuing to think 'This is the LAST fucken straw; I CANNOT be with sb like his'#//They proceed to show up wounded to his window and tell him they need a quick lil hand and will be on their merry way#//Read: it takes TWOmins of Kav is grumbling & patching them up before they kiss again & Kav thinks to himself MAYBE they can behave#//Then proceeds to get disappointed again when Cy drops news he's hunting them again for Crimes#//Person is a sweetheart to him; or maybe a mischievous lil menace that pushes his buttons to hell and back; but would Never hurt him#//But he HAS to try and draw a line#//But cannot#//Bro is weak for bad boys; and he is fucken PISSED abt it#//Anyway; imma read some k4vet4ru fics I found#//Bc that's the closest to canon I'll get to this ig dkjgbtfg#//And I don't wanna write a particular ship fic rn#//Mostly bc I am already writing one rn actually#//Bc the thought came to me and it Is a bit of a heavy one#//Bc my brain is just 'Hey; you love this blorbo? Corner him'#//Make the guy feel like a prey animal in what should be the happiest time of his life#//Yup yup#//Or as I like to call it 'Why impromptu weddings are better for K4e than proper engagements; etc'#//But thas an update; anywho#//I think a s/o who is absolutely Sc4r Wu of the Waa levels of unhinged would be funny for Kav#//It would not fix him; prolly make him worse & stressed beyond fucken relief. But it would be funny. TO ME lol
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