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anisangeldust · 3 months ago

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Santa, Baby ❆𝜗𝜚

Summary: After being stumped on a gift for your boyfriend, Jedi knight Anakin Skywalker, you settle on a safe favorite of his.

Pairing: dilf!Anakin Skywalker x fem!reader

Warnings: Implied age gap (Anakin is 35 and reader is 18), lap dance, smut, oral (m receiving), mating press, mentions of breeding, smutty descriptions !!

A/N: Happy holidays! All the love and magic for all of you! May you all have the bestest day ꨄ

Santa baby..

Slip a sable under the tree, for me

Been an awful good girl,

Santa baby..

What do you get for a man that has everything?

7 year olds are easy to shop for, Leia was head over heels for he giant wookie stuffed toy, and Luke wouldn’t shut up about the ‘training saber’ he unwrapped that morning, children were easy to please, but a man?

What did you get someone who was almost double your age? A watch? He didn’t need that, it was useless for how often he changed planets with different time zones. Cologne? He had that, new parts for tinkering? He had those too, a new glove for his prosthetic hand? That was too cheap.

When you decided to just ask what he wanted, despite wanting it to be a surprise and feeling a touch of shame that you didn’t know your boyfriend well enough, the conversation went as good as you’d expect:

“I don’t want anything babe” his buttery voice insisted, strong hands rubbing your back and his baby blues full of warmth.

You sighed “all couples say they don’t want anything, I’m getting you a gift. Tell me what you want.” You insisted, kissing his cheek.

Anakin let out a deep, hearty chuckle. “I have you, I have the little ones, they love you like you’re their mother, I have everything I’ve ever wanted. I don’t need a gift.” He reiterated, his hand moving from your back to your rear, playfully squeezing.

That comment: “I have you, I have everything I’ve ever wanted” gave you an idea, you’d be his present. If he didn’t want anything new, perhaps something revamped would be the move?

It wasn’t difficult to get Luke and Leia asleep, they had crashed hard from the inane amount of sugar they ingested. After gently forehead kisses to each of them, and soft goodnights, you closeted their door and went to your bedroom you shared with Anakin.

“Merry Christmas Ani..” you kiss him gently and he holds you gently while kissing you back

“Merry Christmas baby girl” he coos and rubs his hands up your sides, a lustful look drinking behind the cobalt clouds of his eyes.

You giggle gently, pulling away. “I have a gift for you..” you murmur and climb off his lap, gesturing to a Cody chair by your bed “sit..” you smile.

Anakins brows shoot up “oh? I thought I said no gifts?” He teases but complies, siting down and looking at you.

“It’s not completely a gift.. more a.. zhuzh..” you wink and disappear into the bathroom.

Only a few minutes later do you emerge, flipping on a speaker to the familiar tune ��Santa, baby” and sexily strutting over to your sitting boyfriend, clad in red lingerie and a Santa hat, complete with red lipstick and red stockings.

Anakin lets out a low, wolf whistle “whewww baby. What is this?” He leans back and pats his lap. Once you sit down on his thigh he tries to hold your waist, only for you to swat his hand away and pin his wrists behind him. Though he could easily get out, he chose to play along and refrain from laying his hands on you.

“Shh.. let me give you a show..” you coo and arch your back, standing up and wiggling your chest in his face. Allowing the white trim to brush his nose before you step back and squat down, slowly lifting up with your hands on his knees, wiggling your hips again.

The familiar song faded out as you climbed on your knees infront of him. Nuzzling one of this thighs and kissing his pants “you can touch now..” you purr gently. He takes no time for hesitation, immediately yanking off the pure hat and tangling his hands in your hair.

“Mmmhh.. baby..” he groans and spreads his legs allowing you to pull off his pants, he watches the fabric slide off to reveal the hard bulge in his boxers “you’re so fucking beautiful..” he groans and pulls you forward to his crotch.

Your lips meet the hardness of his bulge and you kiss it, feeling it twitch and grow under your lips. Slipping your fingers under the elastic of his boxers and slipping them down, his hard cock springing free of its cloth confines. The tip leaking pearl and standing stiff. Trimmed pubes leading to heavy balls and upwards was his toned abdomen.

“Is this all for me?” You tease and suck lightly on his baby pink tip. He tried to pull you down and you resist, moving instead down his shaft to suckle on his aching sack, the motion making him growl and shake.

“Fuck yes.. all for you baby girl, always for you..” he grunts then tangles his hands in your hair, tugging on your scalp. “Gods.. fuck me.. always so good” he rolls his eyes back. The groans louder as you finally take him into your mouth, letting your slobber lube your hand so you can pump what you can’t take. Your tongue traces the bulging vein Yang runs under his cock head, swirling it and catching all his leaking pre before going back down.

“Mmpohh…” he tenses “fuck fuck fuck.. I’m.. ohhmm..” he takes control and face fucks you, hips lifting up to meet your face, hands tangled in your hair, he was enjoying this more than any blowjob he’d ever been given. There was a moment of chocked silence as Anakin came down your throat, beads of sweat running down to his eyebrows, eyes pinched close and brows furrowed.

As soon as he came down from that high, you made eye contact and swallowed his whole load, letting the little bit that dripped from your mouth to be scooped up by your tongue. “Merry Christmas daddy..” you tease and he groans “get the fuck over here” he growls and stands up, pulling you up and throwing you on the bed.

Anakin kisses up your thighs and nips at the conjunction between your thighs and hips “fuck me babygirl..” he coos “so good with the little ones, makes me wanna give you one of our own” he growls before ripping off your panties with his teeth, tearing the delicate lace.

“Oh! Mm.. please.. give me a baby.. make me full..” you spread your legs, allowing him to see the wetness of your cunt. You pull your knees to your chest and your puffy, pink clit pops out from between your glistening folds.

Your boyfriend tugs his cock a few times, using the thumb on his other hands to tease your sensitive bud “I’ll give you a fucking baby.. I’ll pump you full of my cum..” he promises as he folds you in half and bullies his cock into your cunt “I’ll make you so full your forget what it’s like to be.. empty..” he grunts and starts to pump his thick, heavy cock into your puffy pussy.

“Yes! Yes! Fuck!” You groan and bite your finger, trying to refrain from waking up Luke and Leia. Each thrust leaves a sticky squelch behind, the sound and smell of your combined arousal is like Anakins personal heroin, each jiggle of your tits, every choked sob that leaves your mouth, it’s all Anakin will ever need.

“Cum, fucking cream all over my cock, you’re already clenching me so good.. let me feel you cum” he demands and slaps your folds a few times. Pinching your clit ever so slightly.

You listen almost instantly, your back arching and a loud whimper escaping your throat, cunt fluttering around his invasive manhood. Anakin isn’t far behind, shorting his hot and sticky load into your womb, making sure to fuck it against your cervix, making sure to take advantage of your little fertile body.

As soon as the sexual haze lifts off the room, Anakin turned back into your loving and doting boyfriend. “Oh baby.. did I hurt you?” He lifts you up and lays you on his chest “that was so good, you did so good..” he coos gently and you nuzzle him “mhm.. I’m okay.. ‘m perfect..” you assure him.

He lets out a comforting sigh and nods “so perfect.. my perfect girl.. my most wonderful Christmas present..” he kisses you softly “Merry Christmas doll..”

You lean into it “Merry Christmas, daddy.”

#anisangeldust #˚₊‧꒰ა Angel writes! ໒꒱ ‧₊˚#anakin skywalker x you #anakin skywalker #anakin skywalker smut #anakin x you #anakin skywalker x reader smut #anakin skywalker x reader #anakin smut #star wars anakin #anakin x reader #x reader #x reader smut #sw anakin #anakin fanfiction #hayden christensen smut #hayden christensen #Hayden Christensen x reader

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oceanicwriting · 3 months ago

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new year.

part one. part two.

summary: the music, alcohol, and darkness. everything at that party felt a lot riskier, especially when the tension has been building for weeks now.

pairing(s): mattheo riddle x gryffindor!fem!reader

a/n: happy new year to everyone! here in chile it is two in the morning and this post is being published automatically, i will upload part two tomorrow at noon :-).

mention of sex, tension, cursing

ㅤㅤㅤyou look at your body in the bedroom mirror. the white dress was tight in the right areas, highlighting your curves and good shape from quidditch practices. you put on the shoes you had chosen earlier, fix your hair a little more, and touch up the red lipstick. you were so ready.

ㅤㅤㅤ—are you going dressed like that? —hermione granger, your sister one year older, studies your shape from head to toe. you knew she would disapprove, but you wanted to have fun that night regardless of what anyone says—. wouldn’t you rather wear something less revealing?

ㅤㅤㅤif there were two different sisters in the world, you were twice as much. your sister was always worried about getting good grades while you were worried about getting along with people. you weren’t a bad student because you have exceptional grades, but you cared about that world of vanity as much as the academic one.

ㅤㅤㅤ—what? —you ask, looking at his casual clothes. she didn’t look bad, but you get the feeling that she wore those same clothes to study the whole weekend before—. hermione...

ㅤㅤㅤ—don’t you dare judge me, young lady. —even though she was only a year older than you, she always treated you as if you were much smaller and naive—. we’re going with you to take care of you. nothing more.

ㅤㅤㅤyou smile and put on your best puppy eyes to convince her to change clothes.

ㅤㅤㅤ—don't do that.

ㅤㅤㅤeven though she laughs in your face, you know that hermione's weakness is your big, bright eyes begging for something. and this time was no exception, allowing you to dress her like a rag doll in whatever clothes you wanted. she had refused some clothes that were too revealing to get out of her comfort zone, but you know your job was done when your friends come to pick you up in the dorm.

ㅤㅤㅤ—bloody hell! —exclaims ronald weasley, your sister's boyfriend and friend.

ㅤㅤㅤ—hermione... —harry potter, the other boy friend of both, looks at her perplexed by the change of style.

ㅤㅤㅤhermione is wearing a skirt and a tank top. actually, you think the surprise for the boys is the makeup that perfectly matches the jewelry you had lent her. she looks so different.

ㅤㅤㅤ—don't make a scene —she says, exasperated. none of the boys seem to react to your sister's walk down the hall—. are you guys coming or what?

ㅤㅤㅤyou laugh, patting the shoulders of the boys who were still mumbling in perplexity.

ㅤㅤㅤ—beautiful, isn't she? —both boys look at you, then you hit ron's face—. what a lucky man.

ㅤㅤㅤthe walk to the slytherin house, where the party had been organized for students who did not travel to their homes for the holidays, is done in complete silence. everyone is on alert in case the guards on duty find you wandering around. when you arrive, there is a boy leaning on one side of the wall that faces the snakes room, looking at you with a bad face.

ㅤㅤㅤ—invitations. —harry, who had been in charge of keeping them, shows them—. no one followed you?

ㅤㅤㅤyou deny.

ㅤㅤㅤwhen the boy at the door lets you in and you go down to the common room, you can feel a combination of smells accumulate at the tip of your nose. cigarette smoke, candle wax, beer and men's cologne are the ones that stand out the most. people were grouped in different places, some talking or sharing bottles of alcohol. everything looked a little greenish because of the candles burning flames of the same color.

ㅤㅤㅤas you walk with your friends, many of your classmates greet you, stopping you more than once to chat too much, causing hermione to drag you along to keep walking.

ㅤㅤㅤ—i told you not to get separated! —she shouts, getting closer to your ear so you can hear her. you hadn't noticed how loud the music was until that moment—. you can't get lost!

ㅤㅤㅤyou nod, following the path to an area where ron had set aside seats.

ㅤㅤㅤthe truth is, with the music so loud and the discomfort of the moment, no one seemed to enjoy the night. harry hated having to shout over the music, hermione wasn't enjoying the way you didn't seem to hear anything from her and ron was sick of seeing everyone turn to look at his girlfriend.

ㅤㅤㅤ—can we go dancing? —you ask, leaning in close to your sister’s ear. hermione makes a face—. please.

ㅤㅤㅤshe looks at the small crowd of people in the center, moving against each other to the sound of the music.

ㅤㅤㅤ—come on, i didn’t come to sit. let’s go together or i’ll go alone.

ㅤㅤㅤ—fine, —she says, rolling her eyes and standing with you—. try to stay close, okay?

ㅤㅤㅤyou jump and follow the group into the tired bodies on the improvised dance floor. people never stop moving, accidentally bumping into each other and mixing their energies. your body just follows the rhythm, shaking shamelessly.

ㅤㅤㅤa few minutes later, a group of girls from your year approach to invite you to dance with them. hermione signals for you to do so, but you can still see her following you with her gaze while dancing with the boys. when she wasn't looking at you, you accepted the shots of alcohol that ran through your body like an instant energy boost. shortly after, when you try to look over your shoulder, you can't identify your friends among the people, but you don't go looking for them either because of the hands that stop at your waist.

ㅤㅤㅤ—what the...? —as you turn around, you can see those familiar eyes—. mattheo.

ㅤㅤㅤhis lips curve into a sideways smile.

ㅤㅤㅤ—good night. —he doesn't have to shout for the thud of his robust voice to be heard over the music—. beautiful.

ㅤㅤㅤmattheo riddle, with his hands tight on your waist, burning through the fine fabric of your dress, is devouring you no matter what. his lips curve the thin smile even more, gently pushing you against the crowd that makes its way into his presence. you could have said something, but there has always been that air between you that prevents you from protesting at the force of his walk.

ㅤㅤㅤ—come with me —he says, when you have left her and turn to look over your shoulder—. what is it, little granger?

ㅤㅤㅤyou wrinkle your nose at the nickname he has used since you two met.

ㅤㅤㅤ—don't call me that.

ㅤㅤㅤhe laughs, sending a shiver through your entire body.

ㅤㅤㅤ—i'll bring you back safe and sound, you know that. —his hand grabs your chin, forcing you to look at him—. when have i not?

ㅤㅤㅤyou look at him, feeling his hand grab yours and pull it into a dark corner. your eyes can only define his dark silhouette, bright eyes, and scent. the feeling of his hands squeezing your hip again makes you jump.

ㅤㅤㅤ—will you repeat what you said last time?

ㅤㅤㅤhis hands travel to your thighs, picking you up and pinning your back to the wall. the guttural sound that comes out of his throat at your proximity makes you tremble.

ㅤㅤㅤ—what did i say? —you ask, smiling at the power of your voice in his breath.

ㅤㅤㅤ—didn't you say that next time you weren't going to make it so easy for me? —his face moves closer to your neck, pulling it aside to softly kiss some parts of your skin—. or wasn't that it?

ㅤㅤㅤmattheo and you weren't strangers sharing a crazy night of partying, although you weren't friends or lovers either. either of those sounded completely crazy.

ㅤㅤㅤ—i was talking about studying, mattheo —you answer, sighing at the feeling of his wet lips against your neck—. in any case, can't a girl just change her mind?

ㅤㅤㅤfor weeks, you had been helping mattheo with his subjects by order of dumbledore. it had been a secret you had to keep because your friends would have forced you to refuse, and the snake itself had asked for it. as time went by, mattheo began to caress you, look at you, and praise you, making you lower your guard against his charms. so those desperate kissing sessions had not been a surprise to anyone.

ㅤㅤㅤ—is that why you follow me here as if nothing happened? —your hands squeeze the end of his hair, making him laugh—. desperate, right?

ㅤㅤㅤ—mattheo...

ㅤㅤㅤhis wet tongue collides with your hot flesh, going up from your collarbone to your cheek, forcing you to move your face in the middle of a smile. then, mattheo settles down, holding all your weight on his right arm and raising his other hand to direct your face towards his.

ㅤㅤㅤthe feeling of his lips pressing against yours, forcing his tongue inside and biting your lips like gum made you moan softly against him. in your ears, you could only hear the rubbing of clothes, lips smacking, and agitated breathing from both of you, stimulating every part of your body getting hotter and hotter.

ㅤㅤㅤ—i missed you so much, babe —he says against your lips, making you whimper when his hard cock hits your center—. so much... shit.

ㅤㅤㅤhis hand holding you squeezes your ass, making you move against his pelvis supporting part of your weight. a quick tickle runs through your body, but mattheo growls and stops holding you.

ㅤㅤㅤ—i'm going to fuck you right here if you keep doing that shit —he says, making you laugh and catching your bottom lip between his teeth.

ㅤㅤㅤyou grab his neck, pulling him closer and slowly running your hands down his breasts. mattheo, thanks to the light coming from somewhere in your direction, can notice the way your whole face begs to be touched, and that drives him completely crazy.

ㅤㅤㅤ—you don't...

ㅤㅤㅤand from one moment to the next, the boy disappears from your sight, being replaced by hermione's murderous gaze in the light.

ㅤㅤㅤ—are you fucking kidding me? —mattheo questions, being pushed by ron weasley himself.

ㅤㅤㅤalthough you think his disappointed face is because his greatest enemies are pushing him so easily, mattheo can only have that face because you can't finish what you had started seconds ago.

ㅤㅤㅤ—what the fuck! —he exclaims, just as your sister grabs your arm—. what are you going to do?

ㅤㅤㅤ—what do you think you're doing?! —ron shouts, angry as if you were his own sister.

ㅤㅤㅤmattheo is pushed once again by harry, causing him to stumble against a table. the sound of bottles breaking against the floor makes you jump in your place.

ㅤㅤㅤ—what do you think i was doing? kissing the prettiest girls in the place. —and her laughter, filling the place without music, makes you smile at the compliment—. now if she gives me permission, i'll kick your fucking butts.

ㅤㅤㅤand everyone looks at you. hermione can't have a more angry expression because she would tear the muscles on her face. on mattheo you can notice your lipstick staining his mouth, funny eyes, and the way his lips gesture the number five three times.

ㅤㅤㅤ—i'm sorry... —you says, denying the idea of him defending himself.

ㅤㅤㅤyou expected his expression to change, but it doesn't because he keeps looking at you as if you were the most precious thing in the world.

ㅤㅤㅤ—i pay the price —he says, just before receiving two fists in his face.

ㅤㅤㅤand you knew that a long night of scolding awaited you. although, if everything went well, you could escape as mattheo pointed out to you before leaving the place.

#mattheo riddle #mattheo riddle x reader #mattheo riddle x you #mattheo riddle scenarios #slytherin boys #wizarding world #slytherin #harry potter

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coachs-kit-bag · 1 month ago

Note

I love your advice about dressing in the right gear to get oneself in the mindset to transform into a jock this year.

Any suggestions on a ‘starter pack’ of things that one might need to go down that path?

With your ambition to transform yourself this year, you may have gotten a boost from this recent post on the same topic. Creating a starter pack is an intriguing thought exercise as there are many different routes that one could go down. Happy to help!

1. Jockstrap

I have mentioned on this blog several times that committing to wearing a good jockstrap as daily wear is one of the strongest adaptations an aspiring jock can make. Classic styles (such as the original Bike brand) or increasingly the black Nike model are widely available and good to experiment with.

2. Sports Socks

Secondly, and easily overlooked by many, choosing the right pairs of Socks will keep you grounded in your path. Anything from a basic 5-pack of white Adidas socks will suffice, but, in my experience, you can make sports socks fit with any attire. I often wear knee-length Rugby socks underneath my suits in the workplace or a pair of Nike Elites with casual trainers (graciously gifted by a follower of this blog).

Whatever choice you make, commit yourself and your wardrobe entirely and trust the process.

3. Spandex/Lycra

It will be no surprise for a regular viewer of this blog that I advocate for skintight spandex/lycra within this list. You can even see this as your new 'jock uniform' for a good workout. Under Armour, Nike Pro and Skins Compression are all solid brands, but anything skintight is right by me. At first, you may feel that you need to wear a looser pair of running shorts, but within time you will quickly realise that the more you wear, the more correct it feels to wear alone.

Short-sleeved shirts with shorts, especially in matching or complimentary sets, demonstrate pride in your appearance. In addition, a pair of full-length tights should be in every jock’s wardrobe as standard practice. Once you start collecting, you might find it hard to stop buying, and even resist wearing anything else.

4. Vest

For those moments when you need a loose-fitting, casual look, a vest and short shorts come in handy. Showing the right amount of skin is paramount - you never know when you’ll be called to perform a good flex for the camera. Show off those gains!

5. Cap & Headphones

Lastly, as you requested a real “starter pack” to assimilate yourself fully as a jock - a good cap and pair of headphones will be vital to help you connect to the right frequency, zone out of the mundane and lock in to your goals.

This might seem like a lot at first, but before long you’ll realise just how important your new wardrobe will be!

For more ideas, you can always check the posted tagged “jock” for more inspiration.

For those lured in and wishing to purchase kits for others rather than for themselves, my Ko-Fi is always open and for TF posts you can visit @coachs-locker-room

I would be open to do another one of these starter packs focusing on a specific items, or other sports. Let me know if that interests you or leave a comment if there is something you would recommend.

#jock #ask box #ask coach

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toomanystoriessolittletime · 1 year ago

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Mistakes

Summary: You were tired of men making decisions for you. Even though they had your best interest at heart, all they ended up doing was breaking your heart more and more. After reuniting Joel with his brother Tommy (your Ex who left the QZ without telling anyone including you) in a town called Jackson and an overdue argument with Joel Miller you finally confess your feelings for him, spending the night with the older brother, only to wake up alone in an empty house with him and Ellie gone.

Pairing: Joel Miller x fem. reader (former Tommy Miller x fem. reader)

Wordcount: 6.4k

Rating: E

Warnings: angst, pining, feelings, Joel Miller not being good at those feelings, past heartbreak, current heartbreak, mentioned of miscarriage, more angst, also some smut (unprotected sex), kissing, mentions of violence, stitches, blood

A/N: this summary sucks but I have no idea how to make it better. Let’s hope the fics doesn’t suck like it lmao

follow @toomanystoriessolittletime-fics and turn on notifications to get notified when I post new fics

It was like entering the twilight zone when the gates opened.

People were wandering the streets with smiles on their faces. You could hear children's laughter. Some people stopped and nodded towards you as you passed by them on the horse the people who had found you had put you on.

Your gaze always slipped back to Ellie and Joel in front of you. Watching them closely.

The woman who had talked to Joel, Maria, had not given you much more information other than to follow them after she learned Joel’s name and that he was looking for his brother Tommy.

But you had seen in her face that she recognised the name.

If you were honest with yourself you never believed you would really find him. Tommy.

It had been such a long time since Joel had heard from him last and the only reason you agreed to join him in his search for Tommy was because you were scared of losing the last connection you had to your previous life.

Tommy, Joel and you grew up together.

When you thought of them you thought of summers at the Miller’s pool. Of thirteen year old Joel trying to teach five year old you how to swim while six year old Tommy kept trying to pull you under the water.

The little shit.

Of course as you turned older your interests changed, yet you all still managed to spend at least a week of the summer break together out for mischief.

And then it all changed when Tommy Miller kissed you.

It was after Joel left for College and if you were honest with yourself you had been crushing on him for a while at that point.

You and Tommy had been together for two years before you found him kissing another girl.

God, you had been so heartbroken back then.

He had been your first real boyfriend and a tiny part of you thought he'd be the man you would marry and have kids with. Sixteen year old you had her life planned out to the dot.

It had taken years for you to accept him as a friend again.

Joel and you had become closer in the meantime. He’d told you all about his plans to open his own business and that he wanted to propose to his girlfriend.

You were also the first person he told when he learned that he’d become a father.

He had been scared but so happy.

And you knew from the moment you saw him hold Sarah for the first time, that he would move heaven and earth for his little girl. Nothing would stay in his way. Not when his girlfriend left him with a toddler, not when both of his parents died, leaving him to deal with everything on his own.

Sarah was his whole world.

Until the world ended.

The years after that were dark and painful. That was the excuse you used, that you needed to feel something different for at least a little moment, when you started to sleep with Tommy again.

Which went on for years even after you made it to the QZ.

Until he left without a word.

Leaving you and his brother again to pick up the pieces.

“Tommy!” you heard Joel shout and your eyes followed his gaze, his horse stopping as he jumped off.

He looked different. Older than you remembered him. But there walking down the steps was indeed Tommy Miller.

Joel had found him.

His eyes found yours as he hugged his brother, whispering your name in disbelief.

For a moment, a small moment you were beyond relieved to find him alive and well. Anger replaced that feeling pretty quickly. He was alive and well and in a fucking functioning town without ever sending a fucking message?

You had stopped counting how often you had been almost killed on this mission to find him because Joel and you thought something had happened to him and he needed saving.

You closed your eyes, swallowing your anger, finding Ellie watching you when your eyes opened again.

“Let’s have something to eat,” Maria said next to you and you gave her a sharp nod, leaving the Miller brothers behind.

You hated the fact that you cried when you were angry.

Tears were streaming down your face as you showered under the warmest fucking water you had felt in years, scrubbing your body furiously.

The nerve he had.

Not only was he perfectly fine, no he was married and about to be a father.

You didn’t like the way his wife Maria kept glaring at Joel not trying to be sneaky about it.

You could only imagine what he had told her.

He used to blame Joel for what you all had done after the outbreak on your way to the Boston QZ. You had always argued about it in the privacy of the shitty apartment you shared back in the QZ. Because Tommy was a fully grown man when he killed those people. He could have stopped and left. But it was easier to blame someone else for the decisions he was too scared or cowardly to make.

You could only hope that you’d be out of here first thing in the morning before you’d explode.

Of course life had other plans.

You walked into the house across the street just as Maria tried to warn Ellie about Joel.

“But there are clearly things you don't know about Joel,” you heard Maria say. You stopped outside the window to listen.

“Oh, like how he used to kill people? I know about that,” Ellie said.

“So then you understand my concern.”

“He doesn't do that anymore,” Ellie defended him.

“He stopped killing people?” Maria asked and you rolled your eyes.

“Innocent ones. And Tommy did it, too. Are you worried about him?”

You chose that moment to walk into the house, finding Ellie sitting in the kitchen, Maria cutting her hair.

“Tommy was following Joel. The way you are now,” Maria said looking at you.

“No offence but you have no idea what you are talking about,” you said and she raised her eyebrow.

“I think I do,” she said, putting the scissors down.

“Yeah? You are comparing a fourteen year old girl to a fully grown man who had all the time in the world to step away and stop what we did back then. But he didn’t. He never stops. He’s a fucking…” you stopped yourself, taking a deep breath.

“He told me about you. About how he regrets leaving without a word,” Maria said.

You scoffed.

“Sure he does. He always regrets doing things after he did them. That’s why he never sent word that he’s alive.”

“That’s my fault. And he didn’t know that you’d be coming to look for him,” she said.

“That’s what family does. We look out for each other. But maybe we’re not family anymore. Come on Ellie,” you said and she got up from the chair immediately, walking towards you.

“Stop,” Maria said and you sighed.

“I’ll take her to the movies and you…. I think you, Joel and Tommy need to talk.”

“You’re angry,” Joel looked up at you as you sat down next to him. He was trying to fix his boots.

“I thought I wasn’t anymore but…. Fuck look around this place? I’m just so… Fuck I really want to punch him,” you groaned and Joel chuckled.

“I know the feelin’,” he sighed.

You let your head fall against his shoulder, closing your eyes.

You felt his lips on your temple.

„You gonna tell him?“ He whispered. Your opened your eyes, shaking your head.

„Don’t think he would care,“ you mumbled.

„I think you would be surprised,“ he said quietly.

You both sat there in silence for a moment.

„I’m weak,“ Joel said after a moment. You sat yourself up, your head turning to look at him.

„What do you mean?“

He sighed, not looking up at you as he focused on fixing his shoes.

„Lately, there are these moments where the fear comes up outta nowhere, and... my heart... feels like it's stopped. And I have dreams. Every night,“ he said quietly.

You carefully put your hand on his shoulder.

„What kinda dreams?“

„I don't know. I can't remember. I just know that when I wake up... I've lost somethin’,“ you saw the tears in his eyes. You knew something had changed in the last weeks. He was more quiet, staring of in the distance when he thought you weren’t looking.

„I'm failin' in my sleep. That's all I do. It's all I've ever done is fail her again and again. I fail you again and again. I see you die ever single night in my dreams and I…“ you put your arms around his shoulders, tears running down your cheeks.

„I can’t protect you anymore,“ he whispered and you tensed.

„I’m gonna… I’m gonna ask Tommy to take her. I’m just gonna get her killed. Both of you. I know it. I have to leave…“ you did not give him a chance to continue, jumping up from your position.

„You gonna ask Tommy to take her? What about me? You gonna just…. Let him take me too? Because you know I won’t leave her. We’re all she has Joel,“ you said, your voice getting louder.

„You could stay here. It’s safe. You would be safe…“ he said but you shook your head.

„Stay here with Tommy? Super happy Tommy who finally got the right woman pregnant?“ You yelled.

He said your name, pleading but you shook your head.

„You know, I should have seen this coming. I knew I would end up alone. First him, now you… I really thought that you felt…“ you shook your head, „How silly of me to think it would be different with you…“ you laughed bitterly, stubbornly brushing the tears away.

You took a deep breath.

„One day you are gonna wake up and realise that the only reason why you feel so alone, is because you pushed everyone away. Because you think you don’t deserve to be cared for. Tommy, Ellie…. Me….,“ you shook your head before you looked at him.

„Don’t bother asking Tommy. I’m gonna leave with her first thing in the morning. You’ll never gonna see either of us again,“ you said before you turned around, ignoring him calling after you, hoping you’d made it back to the house before you broke down.

You hadn’t even crossed the street when you heard your name being called, Tommy’s familiar voice startling you.

You just walked faster, not bothering to stop.

„Please just…“ you felt his hand on your shoulder and you whirled around, glaring up at the man you once loved so much.

„Leave me alone,“ you gritted through your clenched teeth, before turning away from him.

„It’s what you Miller’s do best,“ you called over your shoulder before you made your way back to the house.

You laid awake in bed when you heard the door open.

You had told Ellie in the most gentle way that it would only be you who would take her to the fireflies. Of course she had questions, and you promised her to answer every single one once you were on the road.

She had fallen asleep rather quickly before you made your way to the biggest bedroom. You just laid down on the bed, fully clothed staring at the ceiling as the hours passed by.

You were broken, you had been for a long time.

The only thing you could always count on to keep you going was Joel.

He was your rock and part of you always thought you were his. Even when he was with Tess or any other women. At the end of the day, once he needed someone to talk, to really talk to, he always came to you.

He held you when you found out you were pregnant after Tommy left.

He was there when you woke up in pain, he was there when you found out you lost the baby.

He was always there.

And along the way you fell in love with him.

You turned your head to look at Joel who was standing in the door just looking at you.

It was like there was something in the air all of the sudden, the hairs on your neck standing up as his eyes moved over your body, his gaze lingering on your lips.

„I’m sorry,“ he said quietly, slowly walking towards you.

When you didn’t say anything as he stopped in front of the bed he slowly sat down, reaching for one of your hands. You were too tired to fight him.

„You were right,“ he started, his thumb running over the back of your hand, his head turned down.

„I keep pushing you away because I’m so fucking scared to lose someone else I…,“ he shook his head.

„I care about. I care about you so much, it scares me. It would kill me if something happened to you, because I was to weak to protect you. And I… I can’t lose you. I just can’t. I wanna keep you safe and….“

„Joel….“ You interrupted him and he looked at you as you slowly sat yourself up so you were kneeling on the bed next to him. You reached the hand he was not holding up, your fingers brushing over his cheek, his eyes closing slowly as he released a shuddering breath.

Your hand lingered on his skin, your fingertips rubbing over the corner of his lips and his eyes flipped open, finding yours.

„You know I love you, right?“ You whispered and his eyes softened for a small moment, before he nodded.

„Then please let me in and let me love you,“ you said before you leaned in and kissed him softly.

He tensed for a moment before one of his hands came to the back of your head, deepening the kiss, pulling you closer, his other hand on your back.

„Joel,“ you gasped, your hands pulling at his shirt until he parted from you, taking his shirt off. You let your hands wander up your chest before you pulled your own shirt off, leaving you in just your old bra.

„Fucking beautiful,“ he whispered before he kissed you again, slowly leaning over you until you were laying in bed with him above you.

Joel slowly kissed down your throat, your chest until he gave all his attention to your breasts. He sucked on your nipples through the thin worn fabric of your bra until you sat yourself up, almost making him fall off the bed, both of you laughing as you took it off, a groan leaving his mouth, one of his hands palming himself. You bit into your bottom lip before you got closer to him, your fingers opening his belt buckle, then his pants.

He stopped you before you could get any further.

„Let me make you feel good first,“ he whispered, kissing you forehead.

„Later,“ you said, looking at him, something in his eyes darkening as he saw the lust in yours.

Within seconds you both were naked and he just looked at you in awe as he knelt between your parted legs.

His hands wandered up your thighs, his fingers running shivers over your whole body, your back arching.

„Please Joel,“ you whispered, your hands coming to rest on his hips until he finally leaned down and kissed you, one of his hand wrapped around his cock as he swiped the head through your wet pussy, teasing your clit with it, making you moan.

He lined himself up, kissing you deeply as he slowly entered you inch by inch, both of you panting against each others mouths.

„Shiiiit, you feel perfect. Fucking perfect,“ he grunted before he began to move, thrusting slowly inside of you, his arms wrapped around your body, his lips all over you.

No matter how close he was, you wanted him closer, your arms wrapped around his back, pulling him against you as he continued to fuck you deeply.

He kissed away the tears that escaped your eyes, overwhelmed at finally being so close to him. Holding him. Feeling him.

He made you cum twice before he pulled out and came with a groan of your name, his cum spilling all over your stomach.

He cleaned you up after, holding you close, kissing you until you fell asleep.

While he watched over you, praying to whatever god there still was, that you would forgive him.

You didn’t stir when Joel left your bed after he watched you sleep until the room slowly filled with light at the upcoming sunrise.

You didn’t feel it as he kissed your forehead before he slowly got up from the bed and got dressed, grabbing his bag.

You didn’t hear his whispered „Forgive me“ as he stepped out of the room.

You were sleeping so deeply you didn’t even hear Eliie argue as Joel walked her out of the house.

Not looking back towards the house you were sleeping in.

The first thing you noticed was that you were warm. You hadn’t felt warm in a long time. Smiling to yourself you slowly opened your eyes, frowning immediately as you noticed how bright it was outside.

Your eyes found the old cock on the bedside table, widening as you noticed that it was already around noon.

„Shit,“ you cursed, your head now turning to the other side of the bed where Joel had laid next to you only to find it empty.

A uneasy feeling washed over you as you took the room in, finding it vacant of anything that belonged to Joel.

Suddenly fully awake you jumped out of bed, dressing yourself within seconds before you walked out of the room and across the hallway opening the door to the room Ellie had been asleep in.

Empty.

Your breath came in short pants, your throat squeezing tight, the beginnings of a panic attack making their entrance as your hands started to shake.

Shaking your head you tried to get your lungs to fill with air, your back leaning against the wall behind you.

Tears were springing into your eyes.

He wouldn’t just leave you after last night. Right?

Not after he….

A knock on the door let you jump up, running down the stairs, opening the door to find the wrong Miller brother standing in front of it, his expression one you could read without words.

„He’s gone, isn’t he?“ You whispered.

Tommy only nodded.

Taking a deep breath you looked up towards the ceiling, shaking your head slowly.

„Talked to the council. You can stay here as long as you want. Gotta take up some work at some point but there’s no rush…“

You scoffed.

„You must be really delusional if you think I am going to stay here,“ you said, looking at him. You were still angry, but more so tired. Tired of always being the second choice.

He said your name, almost pleading.

„I’m sorry for not telling you before I left. I thought it was easier to just… rip the bandaid off. I knew you’d be okay. You’re one of the strongest people I ever met. And I… I just couldn’t stay there with Joel and….“

You wanted to tell him then.

To tell him that he broke that strong person he thought you were.

Finding out the day after he left that you were pregnant with his child, broke you.

And you couldn’t tell him that to this day you blamed that the stress of him leaving made you lose the baby you never got to meet.

It wouldn’t help anyone to tell him.

„I am going to get my stuff and I want a horse and some supplies. Then I’ll be out of here. I can’t keep doing this…“ you said.

„No, No please stay. I want to… I want to make this right between us. I promised Joel I…“ Tommy began, but you held a hand up, stopping him.

„Maybe you and your brother should try talking to me before making all the decisions for me. A horse and some supplies. You owe me that much. After that I’ll make sure we never cross ways again,“ you didn’t wait for his reply, turning around and marching up the stairs to pack your stuff.

An hour later you were settled on top of a horse called Diamond. Tommy had gotten you the supplies you asked for, even a first aid kid and walked next to you as the gate opened.

„Where are you gonna go?“ He asked.

„Away,“ you only answered, even though you had a clear destination in mind, before you took one last look at him. You saw his wife standing on the end of the street, watching you.

As you looked back at Tommy you realised that you felt nothing for the man who was looking up at you now.

„I know you love him,“ he startled you.

„Pretty sure he loves you too, so once you found him, don’t be too hard on him. We Miller’s a stubborn bunch of people who only want to protect the people we love. Even if it ends up hurting them even more,“ he said, keeping his eyes on you.

„Take care of your wife,“ was all you said before you kicked your legs to ride out of Jackson.

The town you found shelter in seemed abandoned enough to rest until this blizzard passed by. It should’t be more than a days ride to the university of the fireflies now, but you could not make it in this storm. So you bunked down in a abandoned house, the windows and doors already barricaded making sure Diamond, your horse, had something to drink and eat in the garage before you bunked down in the surprisingly tidy house next to it.

You even found some food, including long expired peaches that brought a small smile to your face as you thought about how much Ellie would love them.

It was on the next morning that you heard a noise outside. You made your way into the garage, finding Diamond getting nervous too.

You petted her nose before you slowly risked a glance outside of the broken window of the garage, your eyes widening when through the heavy snow falling outside, you could make Ellie out on top of a horse.

You put your jacket on and opened the door, startling the girl who now had her riffle pointed at you.

You held your hands up and her shoulders fell as she realised who you were, starting to sob.

It was then that you noticed that the horse she was sitting on, was dragging something behind it, the air leaving your lungs one one gasp as you realised that it was Joel.

And he was not awake.

„How long?“ You asked Ellie, willing your fingers to warm up as you dug through your first aid kit.

Ellie had helped you carry Joel inside. Now she was sitting on the little sofa, her tears still running down her cheek as she watched you.

„Three hours ago? Maybe more? I don’t know. We… We were at the university and we…. We were almost out when that man….“

You were closer to the university than you thought then.

You were dying to walk over to her to soothe her, but Joel was your first priority. He looked very pale, his lips blue from the cold. With shaking fingers your unzipped his jacket, fighting down the whimper as you saw how much blood he was still loosing, your hand immediately pressing down to stop the bleeding.

Ellie had made a good job with the bandage she had put on his wound.

He didn’t even stir.

„It was a broken baseball bat. He… he pulled it out and he was okay at first but then he… he… he fell and now he’s not….“

„Ellie,“ you said and she looked at you with wide wet eyes.

„You did the right thing. He shouldn’t have pulled it out but there’s nothing we can do about it now. I am… I am gonna try to fix him, okay?“ You said, nodding as if to make yourself believe that you could.

She mirrored you.

„Can I help?“ Ellie asked.

„There’s a bathroom upstairs. Get as many towels as possible and then get a bucket with snow from outside. Snow from the top. We need…. We need to clean him. But I don’t have… We….“ You took a deep breath, stopping your ramble.

„Towels and snow, got it,“ she said, throwing her backpack down before she made her way upstairs.

You took a deep breath, sucking your bottom lip in.

„Don’t you die on me Joel Miller, I still have to yell at you“ you whispered as you leaned down, to kiss his temple before you used the scissors of your first aid kit to cut his shirt open.

It came to you on the day after, that the only stitches you ever did were on Joel Miller’s body. You had stitched a cut on his upper arm almost fifteen years ago. Then a bulled wound on his hip.

But that was nothing like what you were dealing with here.

You had used the little bottle of disinfectant to clean his wound as best as you could, before you stitched him up and he had not even moved a muscle through all of it.

It was sometime during the early morning hours that he stirred, waking up only enough to ask after Ellie, falling back asleep immediately when you came into his line of view, his whispered name on your lips.

You and Ellie had pulled him in as many blankets as possible to get him to warm up.

It was like you checked the wound hourly to make sure it wasn’t bleeding anymore and somehow in the early hours of the afternoon it seemed to stop.

Ellie was spending almost all her time outside in the garage with the horses after she woke up. She wasn’t talking much, but she had told you that she was glad you had found them.

A groan made you jump up and you found Joel’s eyes flutter open, taking in his surroundings until his eyes focused on you, whispering your name, his voice hoarse.

„How are you feeling?“ You asked softly, coming to kneel next to him, your hand on his cheek.

„Like I got stabbed by a bat,“ he groaned and you felt the tears springing into your eyes as you smiled sadly.

„Not the time for jokes Miller,“ you said and he sighed, his head turning in your hand.

„Ellie?“ He asked.

„In the garage with the horses,“ you said and he nodded slowly.

„'Am sorry,“ he said and you shook your head.

„It’s okay,“ you said and now he shook his head.

„Was a shitty thing to leave,“ he grunted.

„Yeah it was. And I am gonna yell at you for that, but only once you are all healed up,“ you promised with a small smile, your fingers brushing over your skin.

The door flew open and Ellie ran in with wide eyes.

„There was someone out there,“ she said and your eyes widened before you got up while she knelled down next to Joel who was trying to get up.

„Wait here with him and do not let him get up,“ you instructed Ellie as you made your way out into the garage.

The windows of the whole house were barricaded so the only way to actually look outside were the broken windows over the garage door.

You carefully stepped onto the chair you had found inside to look out of the window and you could see three men walk down the street, as if they were looking for something. They didn’t look like they were raiders, not carrying any kind of bags or supplies on them. And only one was holding a handgun. You were glad that it had continued to snow during the night, covering up all the tracks that led to the house.

You watched as they rounded the block, noticing how thin they looked as they walked back the way they came from, unease washing over your body.

„They must be around here somewhere. How far can they get? Rodrick fucking stabbed him with his bat,“ you heard one of them mutter as they walked past the house, your heart stopping.

They were looking for Joel.

For Joel and Ellie.

You had to get out of here.

You watched them until they had left the street, before you got down from the chair.

Still in your thoughts you made you way back inside the house.

The longer you thought about them the more uncomfortable you became. You had the same feeling a couple times before, the last time just before you made it out of Kansas City, a city you only barely survived.

Both Ellie’s eyes and Joel’s were on you when you entered the room.

„It would be better for Joel to stay here and heal but…“

„We have to leave?“ Ellie asked and you nodded.

„I…They are looking for you. I heard them talk,“ you said as you knelt down on the other side of Joel who was looking up at you. You put your hand on his forehead, noticing that he was running a little hot.

You would need medicine for him. You only had some expired aspirin. That wouldn’t help him if his wound got infected.

„We’ll leave first thing in the morning,“ you decided, hoping that it would be for the best.

It was a four day ride back to Jackson.

Four days that felt like four weeks.

Joel had been strong enough to get on his feet on the morning you left and both Ellie and you had helped him up into the saddle before you got onto the horse in front of him, using two belts you had found upstairs to strap him against you, his arms coming to wrap around you.

You heard every groan of pain he let out as he tried to keep himself up on the horse.

On the second day, once you were far enough away from the town you felt him burn up, mumbling against your ear, his head resting on your shoulder.

It was getting harder to keep him on the horse with you, Ellie riding next to you, her worried eyes always on Joel.

More than once he told you to just leave him and get both you and Ellie to safety but you and Ellie were having none of it.

When you saw the gates of Jackson you were almost crying, Ellie galloping in front of you even though you called after her to slow down, hoping they wouldn’t just shot her on sight.

But then the gate opened and for the first time in a long time you were glad to see Tommy Miller running towards you, already yelling commands out.

The next hours were a blur.

You pretty much passed out the moment you knew Joel was taken care off. You woke up to beeping in a dark room, only a little lamp on the table next to the bed you were laying in, your eyes immediately finding Ellie who had cuddled on the bed next to you. You carefully put an arm around her before you noticed someone else in the room.

Joel was laying in the bed next to yours, the constant beep of the monitor telling you that his heart was still beating.

You closed your eyes, releasing a shuddering breath as you tried to keep the tears in that were threatening to escape your eyes.

Ellie shifted in your arms and she turned around, her arm sneaking around you, her eyes looking up at you.

„Thank fuck you’re awake, these people around here are weird,“ she said and you huffed a laugh, hugging her closer.

„How long…?“ You asked but she interrupted you.

„We came here yesterday just before dinner. Breakfast was two hours ago? I’m not sure,“ she mumbled. You both jumped when the door opened, your head turning just in time to see Tommy walk in, followed from an older man.

„You’re awake,“ the man said and you sat yourself up, the sudden move making your head spin.

„I’m Carl, I’m the town doctor,“ he introduced himself to you before he walked over to Joel.

„Is he gonna be okay?“ You asked.

„Thanks to some medication and some generous blood donations,“ he eyed Tommy, „he should be making a full recovery. Nice stitches,“ he complemented and you released a relieved breath.

„You should have seen the blood transfusion, it was super gross,“ Ellie said with a shudder that made you laugh.

„I want you to rest too. You were severely dehydrated. That must have been some exhausting couple of days for you,“ he said, giving you a small smile before he looked at Tommy and left the room.

It was quiet in the room for a moment as you tried not to look at Tommy.

Ellie suddenly sat herself up with a hum.

„Weeeeeell this isn’t awkward at all, so I’m gonna go and get us some food,“ she announced before she jumped off the bed and left you alone with the Miller brothers.

For a long time the only noise inside the room was the constant beeping of Joel’s heart monitor.

„Why did you leave without saying anything?“ You finally asked and Tommy shifted in the chair he was sitting in.

„I couldn’t stay. Joel was…. He was getting more and more reckless. Then there was the fucking drugs. I wanted to… I though I could make the world better. just couldn’t stay there. I couldn’t watch him destroy himself any longer. And I am sorry I didn’t tell you. You didn’t deserve that,“ he said and you nodded.

„I know the things we all did were horrible. They haunt me too. And Joel…“ you look at him, sleeping in his bed.

„He was never the same after Sarah,“ you whispered.

„We all weren’t. We just dealt with it differently,“ Tommy said and you nodded.

„Are you gonna stay?“ He asked and you sighed, looking at him. There was no point in keeping a grudge anymore. Not after what happened. You were safe. Ellie was safe. Joel was safe and hopefully close to being okay again.

„I have to tell you one thing,“ you decided. He deserved to know why you had been so angry. Why you blamed him for every single bad thing that happened after he left.

„Okay,“ he said, nodding at you.

„On the morning after I found out your left, I also found out that I was pregnant,“ you said quietly, seeing his eyes widen, before he took a deep breath.

„I’m not telling you this to make you feel bad, I am telling you so you can understand why I was so angry and hurt,“ you explained.

„I can’t keep blaming you for every bad thing that happens to me,“ you whispered.

„What,“ he cleared his throat, „what happened?“ He asked.

„I lost it six weeks after you left,“ you said with a sad smile, your finger brushing the tear away that ran down your cheek.

He looked wrecked.

„I’m so fucking sorry,“ he shook his head, his hand running through his hair.

You shrugged.

„It just wasn’t meant to be,“ you sobbed, cursing to yourself as you turned your head to hide your face against the pillow.

„Fucking hug her,“ you both heard Joel grunt and you almost jumped up, your head spinning again.

„Joel, thank fuck,“ Tommy said before he jumped out of his chair as he saw you get out of bed on shaky legs. His arms held you up as you stumbled towards Joel’s bed who gave you a painful smile.

„Come on, let’s get you into bed,“ Tommy whispered before he helped you sit down, pulling your legs up onto the bed as you carefully laid down next to Joel, his right arm opening for you.

You put your hand on his chest, careful to not hurt him as you inhaled his familiar, if somewhat sweaty, scent.

„I’ll leave you two alone,“ Tommy said as he looked at the both of you, but you were already asleep.

„I’ll take care of her,“ Joel whispered before he kissed your forehead.

Six weeks later

„I fucking hate math!“ Ellie groaned, letting her head fall against the table.

„Language!“ Joel called from the kitchen and she rolled her eyes while you held back a giggle.

„Nobody likes math,“ you assured her, your arm wrapping around her shoulder.

„Why do I have to learn it then?“

„Because that’s just the way life is. We all have to learn shit we don’t want,“ you said, you both laughing when Joel again called you out on your cursing.

„I am a fully grown adult, Mr. Miller, leave me alone,“ you yelled towards the kitchen, only to hear his footsteps seconds later before he appeared in the door, both of his hands on his hips, giving you an exhausting head shake.

„What am I gonna do with you?“ He asked before he walked over. You let go of Ellie’s shoulder as he stepped closer, his lips coming to kiss your cheek.

„Ugh gross,“ Ellie gagged, jumping out of her seat.

„I’m gonna go and ask Dina to help me with math!“ She said, running out of the house, the door falling closed behind her.

„She forgot her homework,“ Joel said, now kissing your neck.

„Mmmmmhhh….“ You nodded, tilting your head to give him more space, his lips wandering up your neck.

One of his hands sneaked to the front of your shirt until his palm softly palmed your breast.

„Think you’re up for some…. Biology?“ He asked and you giggled, getting up from your chair to turn around, your arms crossing behind his neck.

„Birds and bees again?“ You said, playfully annoyed while he nodded, all serious, before you both broke out in laughter.

„We gotta work on your flirting, Miller,“ you said before you kissed him, shrieking when his fingers pinched your ass.

„Love you,“ he mumbled against your lips and you smiled.

„Love you too,“ you whispered before you let him guide you towards your bedroom.

#my fic #Joel Miller x fem. reader #Joel Miller #Tommy Miller x fem. reader #Tommy Miller #Pedro Pascal #tlou #tlou fanfiction #joel miller fanfiction #fanfiction #fanfic #fan fiction #pedro pascal characters #pedro pascal fanfiction

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meazalykov · 6 months ago

Text

getting what she wants

lena oberdorf x oc x USWNT!reader

part one of five

summary: lena knows she gets what she wants

warnings: cheating, angst, 18+ (smut? not too detailed and mostly suggestive)

oc description here

you and your girlfriend had always been complicated—never simple, never easy.

it started back in 2021 when you and sloan played at psg. the chemistry on the field between you two was undeniable, but off the field, it was a different story.

the beginning wasn’t so bad, though. she caught feelings for you shortly after she went through a breakup, but you didn’t think much of it. you were happy that someone was interested in you, someone as gorgeous as sloan.

if you were to tell anyone about it now, you'd say it wasn’t the worst relationship, but it definitely wasn’t the best either.

sloan was magnetic, and in those early days, you were drawn to her like everyone else was drawn to her. the older woman was a fierce defender in paris, while you were a threatening midfielder that scared the defenders on the opposite team.

the woman would pull you in, wrap you up in her intensity, and you’d get lost in the way she’d look at you, the way she’d run up to you if you took a hit on the pitch– it was like you were her whole world. and for a while, it felt like you were.

savannah was always there, in the background, but you didn’t mind. you played with both of them on the united states national team, and savannah never seemed like a threat.

she was just part of the past with sloan—something you didn't think twice about. you had bigger things to worry about, like football, your career. you weren’t the type to get jealous over old exs that your girlfriend had.

things shifted in 2022 when you left for bayern munich, after you spent three seasons with PSG.

the move was huge for you. it was a chance to grow, to focus on your game in another league, and push yourself to new heights.

sloan went back to the states, joining portland thorns. her contract didn’t expire with PSG but she didn’t want to stay if you weren’t there.

the long distance was rough, but you both promised to make it work. you'd have late-night calls, texting between training sessions, and sending each other pictures of your day, trying to stay connected despite the time zone difference.

but then, overtime, you started noticing things.

small, subtle shifts. the first time sloan told you that her and savannah texting again. at first, you were alarmed until sloan told you that savannah, who played for louisville, was going to go up against the thorns in the NWSL that week.

you told yourself it was nothing. they’d known each other forever; of course, they'd stay in touch. your mind brushed it off, telling yourself that your trust in sloan was stronger than whatever history she had with savannah.

but it didn’t take long for sophia, your friend on the national team who played at the same club as sloan, to notice.

during one of your national team camps, the ones against china in florida, she pulled you aside, a concerned look on her face.

“have you talked to sloan recently?” she asked, her tone light but her eyes searching.

“yeah, of course,” you replied, a little confused by her question.

“why?”

sloan was still recovering from an ACL injury, so her club and national team agreed to have the 26 year old play for only portland games for now. she wasn’t called up for the national team so you couldn’t see her this time in the states.

sophia sighs in hesitation,

“i don’t want to stir anything up, but sloan was showing me some tiktok on her phone unaware that um...well,, i saw some messages. between her and savannah. they seemed kinda... i don’t know, close?”

you felt your stomach drop, but you forced a laugh.

“it’s nothing. they’re just friends.” you convinced yourself.

“just be careful, okay?” sophia didn’t look convinced.

you nodded, but that seed of doubt had already been planted.

later that night, you couldn’t stop thinking about it. the way sloan’s messages had become more distant, the way she’d brush off your questions with a quick “i’m just busy babe” or “practice has been rough.” you tried to push it down, telling yourself it was all in your head.

until one day, you couldn’t anymore.

a few weeks later, you were scrolling through your phone after a long training session in germany when you saw it. videos.

they were everywhere—sloan and savannah, out at some club in portland, laughing, dancing, and way too close for comfort. the headlines were brutal, and your stomach twisted into knots as you scrolled through the comments, people speculating about what was going on between them.

you couldn’t breathe.

immediately, you dialed sloan’s number, your fingers shaking as you waited for her to pick up.

you had to run into your living room, since lea and georgia were staying over your house and were sleeping in the guest room beside your bedroom. there was no way that you would wake them up, even in this condition.

“hey, babe,” she answered casually, as if nothing had happened.

“what the FUCK, sloan?” your voice cracked, the anger and hurt pouring out all at once.

there was a pause on the other end, just long enough to make you feel even worse.

“it’s not what it looks like,” she finally said, her voice too calm, too rehearsed.

“it sure as hell doesn’t look good,” you shot back.

“you’re out partying with savannah? after you told me there was nothing going on?”

sloan sighed.

“i told you, it’s nothing. we just went out for drinks with our teams. it’s not a big deal.”

“not a big deal?” you couldn’t believe what you were hearing.

“sloan, everyone’s talking about it. you’re all over the news. do you even realize how this makes me look? do you know how this makes YOU look?”

you hated how much you still cared about her and her image. of course everyone on the internet was dragging sloan’s name through the filth for your defense.

“you’re overreacting. savannah’s just a friend who happens to be my ex too. you need to stop letting other people get into your head.” sloan said, annoyed.

but you couldn’t calm down. how could you? not when the entire world had just seen your girlfriend getting close with her ex like it was nothing.

your heart ached, torn between the love you still had for sloan and the anger bubbling inside you.

“i can’t believe you,” you whispered, tears stinging your eyes.

“i trusted you!”

“and i haven’t done anything to break that trust,” sloan shot back, her voice harder now.

“look, if you don’t trust me, that’s on you. i can’t control how people perceive things.”

you hung up the phone without another word, your chest heavy, the pain sinking deeper with every passing second.

as you collapsed onto the ground, you felt a pair of arms catch you. the vanilla scent of the person’s chest told you that it was lea schuller hugging you as you cried.

weeks afterwards– you threw yourself into training, trying to ignore the hurt, the betrayal. but it lingered, gnawing at you, distracting you during every practice, every match. no matter how hard you tried to focus, your mind kept wandering back to sloan, to those videos, to the lies.

you couldn’t go to the states to confront her, and that only made it worse. you were stuck, miles away, helpless.

many months later, it's July 1st 2024. despite everything—the distance, the arguments, the emotional drain—you and sloan were still together.

maybe it was the comfort of it all, the familiarity. you’d been with her for so long that the thought of letting go felt impossible. breaking up seemed like more effort than just sticking it out.

even if things weren’t great, they weren’t unbearable. or at least, that’s what you kept telling yourself.

sloan wasn’t seen with her ex again. in fact, she never mentioned savannah again, and you didn’t ask. but the tension hung between you like a fog, thick and ever-present. every time you checked social media, every time her name came up in conversation, your stomach would knot up, the unease always lingering. but nothing ever changed.

after each conversation with sloan, you felt empty. like a weight had been lifted, but at the same time, it left a hollow space inside you. the next few days passed in a blur.

you threw yourself into training, desperate to block out the pain, but even football wasn’t the escape it usually was.

that’s when lena oberdorf started showing up in your life. she’d recently moved to bayern from wolfsburg, and though you’d played against her plenty of times, you never really knew her well. she was fierce on the pitch, strong and confident.

in fact, you had a perception of her since you fell victim to her side tackles on many, many occasions. but you started to notice lena’s behavior around you after training, she was different—softer, a little shy even.

it started with small things. lena would linger after practice, making conversation, asking how you were doing.

at first, you chalked it up to her being friendly, trying to settle into her new team and make friends outside of the ones she knew from the national team.

a week later, before the national break that will lead into the olympics– training was going well. your focus was locked in on the drills as the team worked through possession exercises.

everything felt sharp, crisp. your legs were taking you towards the goal until georgia came in hard, a tackle from the side catching your leg at an awkward angle. you hit the ground hard, a sharp pain shooting through your ankle.

“y/n!” you heard georgia’s voice above the ringing in your ears as she stands up from the ground.

“shit shit shit!!! i’m so sorry. i didn’t mean to—”

before she could finish, lena was already by your side, practically sprinting over from the other side of the field.

she dropped to her knees next to you, her hands immediately on your shoulders.

“are you okay? where does it hurt?” lena’s voice was frantic, her eyes wide with concern as she looked you over, clearly scanning for any sign of serious injury.

“i’m fine, lena,” you muttered, trying to sit up.

“just... give me a sec.” the pain wasn’t as bad as you first thought. it was more of a shock than anything.

lena wasn’t having it.

“you don’t look fine,” she insisted, gently pushing you back down as you tried to get up.

“you should stay down for a bit. what if it’s worse than you think?”

georgia hovered nearby, an apologetic look on her face. “i didn’t mean to go in that hard. really, i’m sorry, y/n.”

“what the hell, georgia? you didn’t have to go in on her like that—it’s training, not a match!” lena shot her a glare, her protective streak kicking in immediately.

“i know, i know,” georgia said, holding up her hands in surrender.

“i was just going for the ball, i didn’t mean to hurt her.”

you could see the tension building between the two of them,

lena getting more worked up than necessary. it wasn’t the first time lena had gotten overprotective over you, but this was definitely one of the more intense moments. you placed a hand on her arm, trying to calm her down.

“lena, seriously, i’m fine. it’s not a big deal.”

but she wasn’t having it. “no, it is a big deal. she should’ve been more careful.”

georgia rolled her eyes but kept her distance, clearly not wanting to escalate things. the rest of the team had started to gather around, watching the scene unfold with a mixture of concern and amusement.

“she’s tough, lena,” georgia said with a small smile, trying to diffuse the situation.

“she’s not made of glass.” you wanted to giggle after georgia said that, but you didn’t want to piss off a protective lena.

“maybe, but that doesn’t mean you can just throw her to the ground,” lena snapped back, still kneeling beside you, her hands hovering protectively around you like she was scared you might fall apart any second.

"you're one to talk about putting people on the ground!" georgia says before laughing at lena's smirk, a smirk she tried to hide knowing that georgia is right.

the team, noticing the bickering, started exchanging looks.

a few stifled laughs could be heard, and you knew exactly what was coming.

“uh, lena?” tuva called out from behind you, a teasing grin on her face. “y/n is okay.”

tuva pulls lena, gently, away from you as you stand up. your ankle is sore but not painful. you were okay.

“you do realize y/n’s taken, right?” lea whispered to lena, but you still heard it.

you groaned inwardly, knowing exactly where this was headed.

“yeah, lena, i don’t think her girlfriend would be too happy about all this... care you’re giving y/n,” giulia added, her voice dripping with amusement.

lena flushed, her cheeks turning a shade of red you hadn’t seen before. she quickly stood up, brushing off her shorts, though she still hovered close to you, as if she wasn’t quite ready to leave your side.

“i’m just making sure she’s okay,” lena muttered, avoiding everyone’s eyes.

you couldn’t help but laugh a little despite the situation. “lena, seriously, i’m fine. you don’t need to go full paramedic on me. besides guys, you don’t have to mention her while we are here”

“oh!” sydney says, laughing.

the teasing continued, the team now fully enjoying the spectacle.

“she’s going full-on protective mode, isn’t she?” pernille chuckled, giving lena a nudge.

“you’ve got it bad, oberdorf.” madga joins.

“it’s just concern,” lena muttered, clearly embarrassed now, trying to avoid the teasing looks being thrown her way.

you finally managed to walk, rolling your ankle a bit to check for any real damage. again, it was sore, but nothing too serious. you were fine—like you’d been saying all along.

“see? i told you. i’m okay.”

“well, that’s a relief,” lena mumbled, though the look of worry in her eyes hadn’t completely disappeared. she stood a little closer than necessary, and the team noticed.

they noticed how you let her stay close to you too.

“yeah, ‘relief,’” georgia echoed, shaking her head in amusement.

“seriously though, y/n’s fine. no need to be so protective, lena—- i’m sorry y/n.”

the teasing continued as the team dispersed, but lena stayed near you, still looking a little flustered.

“i just didn’t want her to be hurt,” she said quietly, her voice barely above a whisper.

you gave her a soft smile, appreciating her concern, even if it was a little overboard.

“i know. but it’s okay. i’m tougher than i look.”

lena saw lea’s smile turn into a quick frown at that, she makes a mental note to question her best friend about that later.

after that morning in training, you began to notice the way lena looked at you. there was something more in her eyes, something you hadn’t picked up on before.

the next day, after a tough session, you were sitting on the sidelines, catching your breath, when lena plopped down beside you.

“you okay?” she asked, her voice gentle, her eyes scanning your face.

you nodded, forcing a smile. “yeah, just tired.”

but lena wasn’t convinced. “i’ve noticed you’ve been... off lately. is it sloan?”

lena asked lea why you seemed off. lea told her the backstory about your relationship with the portland thorn’s defender. she did her own research afterwards, realizing how bad it really was.

the mention of sloan’s name made your stomach twist. you didn’t want to talk about her, not now, not ever.

“it’s complicated.”

lena hesitated for a moment, then quietly said,

“you don’t deserve what she is putting you through, y/n. you deserve someone who’s going to put you first.”

you glanced at her, surprised by the intensity in her words. there was something in the way she said it, the quiet conviction, that made you pause.

“it’s not that simple,” you mumbled, looking down at the ground.

“we’ve been together for so long, and— i don’t know.”

“maybe that’s the problem,” lena said, her voice soft but firm.

“maybe you’ve been holding on to something that’s already gone.”

you didn’t respond. you couldn’t, because deep down, you knew she was right. sloan wasn’t fighting for you anymore, and maybe she never had.

lena stayed by your side for the rest of the day, offering silent support.

and as the days went on, her presence became something you looked forward to—her quiet smiles, her easy laughter, the way she’d stick around just to make sure you were okay.

it wasn’t long before you started noticing the little things she did for you. bringing you coffee before training, giving you rides home, offering to help with your recovery sessions after each training.

it was subtle, but there was a certain care in everything she did, something you hadn’t felt from sloan in a long time.

one afternoon, the last training before the national break for the olympics, lena comes up to you after the showers.

“hey, you want to grab dinner?” she asked casually, but there was something in her tone that made your heart race a little faster.

“uh, yeah, sure,” you replied, caught off guard.

you ended up at a quiet restaurant, tucked away from the usual chaos.

over dinner, lena was different. more open, more confident. she asked about your life, your interests outside of football, and for the first time in a while, you found yourself genuinely enjoying someone’s company.

halfway through the meal, she leaned back in her chair, her eyes locking onto yours.

“y/n, can i be honest with you?”

your heart skipped a beat. “of course.”

“I've been attracted to you for a long time,” she admitted, her cheeks flushing slightly.

“since before you moved to bayern. but i didn’t want to say anything because... well, i knew you were with sloan.”

you blinked, taken aback by her confession. “you... have?”

she nodded, her gaze unwavering. “yeah. but i’ve been watching how things have been going with you two, and... i just want you to know that you deserve someone who’s going to treat you better. someone who has respect for you.”

you stared at her, not sure how to respond. it wasn’t that you hadn’t noticed lena’s growing presence in your life, but hearing her say it out loud, admitting her feelings so openly, was something you hadn’t expected.

“lena, i...” you started, but the words got stuck in your throat. you didn’t know what to say. part of you was still reeling from sloan, from the hurt and confusion that came with it.

but another part of you—a part you hadn’t allowed yourself to acknowledge—felt something for lena too. something more.

she must’ve sensed your hesitation because she quickly added, “i’m not trying to pressure you or anything. i just wanted you to know how i feel. whatever happens, i’m here for you liebe. no matter what.”

her words hung in the air, heavy with meaning, and for the first time in weeks, you felt a glimmer of hope. maybe lena was right. maybe you did deserve more.

as the night went on, you found yourself relaxing in her presence, the tension from your relationship with sloan slowly easing away.

it was different with lena—easier, lighter. and when she walked you back to your apartment later that night, there was a moment where she hesitated, standing on the doorstep, her eyes flicking to your lips.

you could’ve kissed her. part of you wanted to.

“thanks for tonight,” you whispered, your voice soft.

lena smiled, her expression gentle. “anytime, y/n. i’m always here for you.”

something in the air had shifted after she said that, leaving only the quiet between you two.

lena was standing just a little too close, her gaze a little too intense, and you could feel the weight of everything unsaid hanging in the space between you.

her eyes flickered down to your lips again, and for a moment, she seemed to freeze. your heart pounded in your chest as the silence stretched on, each second amplifying the tension between you both.

you couldn’t tear your gaze away from her, drawn in by the way she was looking at you, the unspoken desire clear in her eyes.

the way she cares for you, the way you’ve been burying your attraction for her. It was too much. you wanted her.

your mind was racing—everything with sloan, the mess of your relationship, how complicated it all was.

but in that moment, none of it mattered. not with lena looking at you like that.

you made the first move, your body acting on instinct before your brain could catch up.

leaning in slowly, tentatively, you closed the gap between you, your lips barely brushing hers at first.

you paused, just for a second, giving her the chance to pull away if she wanted to. but she didn’t.

the second lena kissed you back, everything else melted away. her lips met yours with a sudden intensity, all the built-up tension finally spilling over.

her hands were on you in an instant, one sliding to the back of your neck, the other finding your waist, pulling you closer as the kiss deepened.

it wasn’t gentle—not by any means. there was an urgency in the way she kissed you, and the way you kissed her. she’d been holding back for far too long, and now that the floodgates were open, there was no going back.

you responded in kind, your hands gripping the front of her hoodie, pulling her even closer as you kissed her harder, your body pressing against hers.

lena’s hand slipped under the hem of your shirt, her fingers warm against your skin as they traced the curve of your waist, making you shiver.

the feeling of her touch sent a jolt of electricity through you, your heart racing even faster. your lips moved against hers in sync, the kiss growing more heated by the second, both of you caught up in the intensity of the moment.

you broke apart for a brief second, both of you gasping for air, but the space between you barely lasted a heartbeat before lena’s lips were on yours again, even more desperate than before. her body pressed into yours, pushing you gently against the door, and you welcomed the pressure, your hands finding their way into her hair, tugging just enough to earn a quiet groan from her.

“lena,” you breathed against her lips, not even sure what you were trying to say, if anything at all. her name came out like a plea, like you were drowning in her and needed more, but didn’t know how to ask for it.

“y/n,” she murmured back, her voice low and husky, her breath hot against your skin as she kissed along your jaw, trailing down to your neck.

the sensation sent a shiver down your spine, your knees going weak as you clung to her, desperate to stay grounded in the overwhelming rush of feelings.

her hand gripped your waist tighter, holding you against her as her lips moved across your skin, finding every sensitive spot that made you gasp, your fingers tightening in her hair as you struggled to keep up with the intensity of it all.

you weren’t thinking about sloan anymore, or the complications that would come from this. all that mattered was the way lena was making you feel—the way her lips felt on yours, the way her touch set your skin on fire.

and when lena pulled back just enough to look at you, her eyes dark and filled with something raw, something intense, you knew there was no going back.

you reached your left hand behind your body, keeping your right on lena’s waist, as you unlocked the door.

pulling the taller woman inside, you didn’t think twice before taking her into your bedroom.

the sex was amazing. its been nearly 18 months since you last tine you’ve did anything, thanks to your long distance relationship.

the girl back in portland didn’t come across your mind once. just the moment between you, the girl who's sleeping in your arms, and the fact that you’ll have a flight back to the states for national duty in the morning.

part two here

#lena oberdorf #lena oberdorf x reader #lena you're missed #woso fanfics #woso community #woso x reader #gerwnt #bayern frauen #bayern munich #uswnt

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lovelystarkersworld · 2 months ago

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Tony let out a happy laugh as he followed Peters eager tugging outside to get some fresh air after they'd been tucked up inside the Gala for hours now, they both could use the cool air hitting their face after the few drinks of beer--no where enough to make them drunk but enough to make their faces run hot. Tony stumbled over his feet slightly, "Pete-wait up."

Peter turns his head back with a wide grin on his face and it takes Tony's breath away, he looked gorgeous under the streetlights and the glow of the full moon. The boy stops in his tracks after the find themselves near a gazebo with flower pots lining the side of it, "Sorry I just," He exhaled a soft breath, "We haven't had much alone time tonight."

There's a soft out on his pretty lips and Tony wants to lean forward to kiss it away, "No alone time? Pete, I've been with you all night." He laughed and he's approaching the boy with confident strides. The arm not currently stuck in the boys grip found it's way around Peters waist and he pulled the boy in close, more than happy to give into the want of having each other close.

"But that's not the same. We aren't alone." His voice is a tiny bit whiny because as much as Peter enjoyed going somewhere fancy for once, he was also out of his comfort zone. He'd much rather be in the tower curled up to his boyfriend as they mindlessly watched movies or be downstairs in the lab, tinkering on a new update or project.

Tony gave him a small smile and he's leaning forward to kiss the boy forehead, the height difference isn't big so the man didn't have to lean down to press his lips to the warm skin. He's met with a pretty smile in return and gleaming eyes at the show of affection, "Pepper will get mad if I leave the function earlier than the 4 hour mark she gave me." Tony murmurs and his hand is raising to lightly cup the others face.

"I know, I know." Peter mutters but leans into the soft touch to his face happily, "You owe me lots of cuddles tonight though." It's a small tease, he honestly didn't mind being at the Gala all that much. It felt nice to be shown off as Tony's boyfriend after having to hide the relationship for almost a year.

Tony let out another soft laugh and nodded in agreement, "Deal." He leans forward and presses his lips against Peters in a soft kiss, not being able to hold back the urge to feel those soft lips against his own for much longer. Peter is more than happy to kiss back, his hands raising to wrap around the man's neck. It's supposed to stay sweet and innocent but one can't blame Tony when he initiates a deeper kiss, their tongues grazing upon one another's and Tony's hand slid down the fitted suit to feel the boys ass.

Tony's only half aware of where they are, never have been the one to pay attention to where he was when starting a steamy kiss and Peter? Well Peter wasn't going to deny the man after craving the others touch for so long. Tony's hands are groping the boys pert ass shamelessly and he can hear the gentle moan the younger lets out into his mouth at the feel.

Peters hands are moving down the man's chest until they rest on the older man's pant loops and he tugs the man in close. Tony is more than happy to press his lips against the boys lips harder and his tongue is invading every crevice of the boys mouth and Peter is letting out small whimpers beneath his breath.

Surprisingly Tony is the one who pulls away from the heated kiss to try and talk some sense into the both of them, "Pete," A kiss is pressed to his lips, "Baby," another kiss, "We should get inside." Lips are on his again and Tony is pressing his hands to the boys chest to push him back softly, "We are in public, Peter."

He's met with a pout and furrowed brows, "Since when have you ever cared about that?" Peter knows he should have more care about where they are and usually he's the one reminding the man to keep his dick in his pants but Tony looked so good in his suit and his beard had been neatly trimmed today, he looked delicious and Peter was hot and needy from the lack of affection. He's leaning his head up and pressing their lips together again, this time he's not met with any resistance. Tony can't deny the fact that he was always the one trying to get in the boys pants and he would enjoy a quickie with his gorgeous baby. Their lips glide together in a messy kiss and their hands are touching each others waists and chests, feeling each other up like they were horny teenagers.

Peter drops to his knees carefully, not wanting to bruise them in the cement below them, and his hands trail down the man's abdomen and then down his thighs as he sinks down. Tony watches closely, the image one he would never get over. The boy is undoing the button and fly to his pants and Tony is letting out a childish giggle in return, head reflexively looking up and side to side to ensure no one was around. Thankfully, it was empty as far as he could see so he turns his attention back down to the boy was was shoving hand down the front of his pants to pull out his chub.

Peter leaned forward eagerly to wrap his lips around the head and begins to suck on it. His tongue curled around the tip and then he's tonguing the slit which earns a loud moan from the older man above him. Tony's hand reaches down to tangle in the soft curls, "Atta boy." He murmurs the soft praise through a breathy moan.

Peter begins to take more into his mouth, taking a deep breath through his nose and relaxing his throat so he can allow more to fit. He only stops when he feels his nose hit the thick pubes at the base of the made cock and the hold in the boys hair only tightened in pleasure as Peter deepthroated him, "Fuck Pete, baby." He moans out a little too loud considering they were still in public.

Peter is encouraged by the noises and begins to bob his head up and down in a steady, practiced rhythm. He knew how Tony liked his blow jobs like the back of his hand so he doesn't hold back, letting the saliva pool around the edges of his mouth until it's dripping down his chin and staining the man's expensive suit pants. Soon enough, he feels the oh so familiar warmth fill his mouth. He swallows it greedily and Tony's letting out beautiful, guttural moans above him as he watched Peter with loving eyes.

Peter pulls off with an almost innocent smile and Tony pulls him up to his feet to press their lips together in another messy kiss. He can taste himself on the boys tongue but it can't find it in him to care at the moment, if anything it was kind of hot. They stumble back into the party with grins and flushed cheeks, now recharged for the rest of the Gala.

The next morning they wake to FRIDAY telling them Pepper had been calling Tonys personal cell because a paparazzi took a photo of Tony clearly being pleasured at the Gala last night and it's now circulating around the internet. It wouldn't be the first time Tony had an inappropriate picture floating but it was the first in many years since Tony had semi gotten his life together.

Peter and Tony are scolded by the woman for 15 minutes straight and Peter sits there with a bright red face as Tony just has a little smirk because he truly couldn't care about the picture.

#mason's writing #starker #ironspider #starker fandom #tony stark x peter parker #tony x peter #starker nff #starker smut

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jhoneybees · 5 months ago

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1970 - chapter 1

Wellllllllllcomeee to chapter 1 of 1970!!! Hope you like it, everyone!

Characters: Early70s!Elvis X innocent!reader

Warnings/triggers: Fear of going out of comfort zone.

Tags: @atleastpleasetelephone @i-r-i-n-a-a @theelvisprincess @thelonelyheart @hooked-on-elvis @polksaladava

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The start of summer, the summer of 1970.

A record playing softly in the peaceful silence. You sit on the couch looking out the living room window to the familiar scenery of the next door neighbour's house across the road. A slow breath falls from your lips feeling the warmth of a cup of coffee nestled in your hands.

This is the life that you're comfortable with.

Living alone at 19 in a simple one bedroom home in a small southern town called Anaville in the middle of Mississippi, working three days a week at the local coffee shop on the main street, you have plenty of time to do what you love during your days off.

You’re happy like this.

Having the choice of deciding to go to the library one day or the arts and crafts shop one the next or staying home to knit and crochet. You're content in this little bubble, this little life you’ve created for yourself and…you wouldn’t ask for anything else.

Except for this one…something.

Something that has been brewing in your mind for a long time. You’ve never wanted to think about or admit it but it always floats back into your mind at night. It’s been like this ever since the end of senior year and now… it’s been a year, you can’t hold it in anymore.

An adventure.

You want an adventure.

But you're scared shitless.

Ever since graduating highschool last year, finding yourself a job and a home to rent, you’ve been so happy and blinded by this little bubble you’ve created for yourself that now, craving for something new out of this perfect little life makes you feel nauseous.

You want to go out there, out of this town but you just don’t know how to take that step out of your comfort zone.

You don’t want to do it alone.

Knock. Knock.

Turning your head towards the direction of the front door, you carefully put your cup of coffee down on the coffee table. Cautiously, walking over into the hallway. Knowing you’re not expecting anyone because you don’t really have any friends.

Who could it be?

As you hesitantly reach for the doorknob, opening the door your heart skips a beat seeing before you, a mysterious, handsome man on your doorstep.

Tall with black fluffy hair and sideburns, wearing a white high collar dress shirt, black pants, black shoes, holding a bouquet of flowers with the most beautiful smile you have ever seen.

“H-Hi! Uh, hello, ma’am! I just wanted ta come over and introduce myself.”

You just stand there, a little stunned. Lips parting slightly as he holds out his hand, noticing a gold bracelet around his wrist “I’m Elvis Presley...your new neighbour.” You look up at his face. Your whole body feeling the tiniest shiver go down your spine being met with piercing but soft blue eyes.

The thought of giving the man a handshake, never once crossing your mind.

“Neighbour?” You ask in the quietest voice.

He nods, grinning as his hand retracts back to his side. “Yes ma’am, I moved in right next door.” Pointing towards the house to your right.

You crane your head out of the doorway seeing the roof of a cream-coloured car just over the top of your peeling white picket fence and turn back nodding silently, still stunned by how handsome he is.

“...Uh huh”

The man awkwardly scratches the back of his neck, breathing out a shy laugh. “Uh…I came here from Las Vegas and uh…I originally came from Tupelo, North of here? I-I was workin’ in the big city but thought I would come back for somethin’ different.” The man lifts his eyes up to yours again, smiling a little not really knowing why he’s explaining himself but those eyes are making your heart skip another beat.

“So uh…w-what’s your name, ma’am?”

You take a small step back, lowering your head the slightest bit as you begin to fiddle with the hem of your shirt. Feeling your cheeks start to warm. “Y/n…”

“Y/n…nice to meet you.”

You just give him a small smile as he shows his grin, a crooked grin, and quickly you avert your eyes from him, soon hesitantly moving back when he lifts his arm showing you the bouquet of flowers he’s holding. Small white, yellow flowers and little green leaves wrapped delicately with a piece of white lace.

“I uh…Here’s some flowers. Thought it would be a nice neighbourly thing to give.” He explains, shoving a hand into his pocket as you carefully take the bouquet.

Then your heart thumps loudly, not loud enough for you to notice. It is a nice thing to give, you think to yourself. It’s not big and fancy like the ones you see in the magazines but the combination of simple flowers makes you smile a little wider. No one has given you flowers before.

“Welp, I better…go back home.” He sighs, his words snapping you out of your thoughts. “I uh…have a few more things to unpack.” Smiling sheepishly as you glance back down at the colours in your arms.

“Hope ya like the flowers.”

You reluctantly nod and as he quietly says goodbye and walks back down your footpath and down the side path to his house. You take a moment before closing the front door and making your way into the kitchen.

Smiling down at the pretty little things.

Opening a cabinet, you find a vase for the flowers and after a while of finishing the arrangement, you set them in the middle of your small dining table, and just stand there quietly. Admiring the colours, making that smile you had before appear on your face again but then it falters when you suddenly realise your heart is pounding in your chest.

Your mind drifting to that man with the crooked grin. What was his name again?

Elvis Presley?

…

Turning on your heel, you move over to the kitchen counter looking through the small window above the sink, peeking just over your fence. Through the other house’s window, seeing your neighbour standing in what you presume is his living room, running his hand through his hair and taking a small sip from a green cup.

Is he…the adventure? You think, out of nowhere.

Heart jumping loudly in your ears as his eyes lock onto yours.

Is he going to be the one helping you take that step out of your perfect little life?

#elvis presley #elvis fans #elvis #i love him #elvis fandom #70s elvis #elvis imagine #elvis presley x reader #elvis fluff #elvis smut

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welcometololaland · 3 months ago

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10 things - 2024/2025 edition

happy new year, everyone! 2024 has been a year of change for me in so many different ways, and i've posted very little fic this year, mostly due to writers' block and time constraints. so, instead of doing the writing round up i thought i'd list 10 things i'm grateful for in 2024 (fandom edition) and 10 things i want to do in 2025 (also, fandom edition). please feel free to make your own if you wish! consider this an open tag 🏷️

2024 - things i'm grateful for (in fandom, in no particular order)

1. my ride or die friends who deal with my self doubt and breakdowns and (being 100% real) paranoia about situations that simply don't exist - @rmd-writes @celeritas2997 , the popcorn squad and others. wouldn't be writing without your support!

2. the writers who have trusted me to beta for them - @heartstringsduet @basilsunrise @rmd-writes i think i'm forgetting some (so sorry if so). michelle, being with you through first aid was such an amazing experience, and i feel so lucky to have seen you develop as a writer!

3. the people who have read my fics and encouraged me including the wip wednesday and seven sentence sunday tags! - i literally would not be anywhere without you. you actually give me life.

4. the friendships i've made on discord with people who just wanna know me for me and share little snippets of their lives - @reyesstrand and @heartstringsduet the little squirrel photos y'all send me are soul soothers for real! @st-elle-ar and @clottedcreamfudge and @lightningboltreader and @birdclowns for the cat pics! @howtosingit for your commentary and spoiler services 💜

5. the grace given to me by @carlos-in-glasses and @actual-sleeping-beauty - you two are so kind and encouraging and tell me all about your knitting projects even when i go missing for weeks on end. thank you for being my friends <3 and i don't even think you guys know you are both my yarn obsessed friends but you ARE.

6. everyone who has trusted me enough to collab with them on projects - the legends on never the same twice, @rmd-writes @strandnreyes. i loved working with you and i hope you had a positive experience! looking forward to more collabs in 2025.

7. the document gremlins, betas and sensitivity readers i've collected this year - @rmd-writes @strandnreyes @lightningboltreader @celeritas2997 @cold-blooded-jelly-doughnut ty ty ty ty some of those fics were in danger of being lost forever but we revived them!

8. @she-walked-away for making me laugh with your hilarious posts and olympia2997 who apparently doesn't exist on tumblr but leaves the most unhinged comments of all time on my fics.

9. everyone who has translated my fics or made art or gifs this year! inspired by you and in awe of you! @donghaian @whatsintheboxmh @heartstringsduet @guardian-angle22 i know there are more i'm so sorry if i've not listed you here!!!

10. everyone in the various fandoms i'm in who have created brilliant works in 2024! i am inspired by your work more than you know <3

2025 - things i want to do (in fandom, in no particular order)

1. read more, and read more broadly. expand my horizons a bit. read things that are a touch outside my go-to zones just to test the waters. read stuff by new authors!

2. spend time co-writing because that's actually my favourite thing to do. i have some things in the pipeline with a couple of people which i hope work out!

3. finish. the. damn. fic. (eurotrip). IT'S SO FREAKING CLOSE.

4. spend more time with my 2019-2021 beloveds - alex and henry. write more rwrb fic. engage in the fandom a bit more.

5. finish the ring-in 2.0 within 1 month of the LS finale (weep).

6. take one hand off the wheel with fandom relationships - my therapist tells me i need to stop trying to control how everyone feels about me and instead let people show me the kind of friendship they're interested in maintaining. scary because i think i may lose some people along the way but OH WELL WE BALL.

7. worry less about the engagement! god! i need to stop looking so much! *shakes fist at self*

8. write a little more regularly with less word count expectations.

9. learn how to be okay with smaller comments (from myself). sometimes i feel terrible if i don't write a damn essay but sometimes it stops me from reading which is horrible!

10. be a better fandom contributor than i was in 2024 - i think continuous growth is important and i'm always open to feedback (as long as it's constructive and genuine)! my mission is to always make a positive contribution and to make people feel good about themselves, and if i can even do that for one person in 2025, i think i will achieve this goal.

ty for the 2024 wrapped tags @hippolotamus @rmd-writes @reyesstrand @emsprovisions @nancys-braids @carlos-in-glasses @lemonlyman-dotcom @alrightbuckaroo @strandnreyes @thisbuildinghasfeelings @whatsintheboxmh @heartstringsduet @firenati0n @cha-melodius. you are real ones! consider this a tag back if you would like to do a 2024/2025 10 things edition.

#10 things in 2024 and 2025 #this is my version of the fic wrapped because i barely posted anything this year #911 lone star #red white and royal blue #ty everyone!

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edutainer2022 · 3 months ago

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A happy retrieval of ALL of my fanfic notes after the recent smashed phone debacle prompted to tinker a bit with a WIP long, long in the works. The focus is on the backstage of the TV-21 fiasco - in the present and in the past. Especially, the ripple effects of it on Scott, John and Virgil.

All the thanks to @janetm74!

DO-OVERS

"It isn't what it looks like!"

It really wasn't. He wished John's eyes didn't turn to hard crystal from where the brother was standing in the bathroom doorway. Scott knew the turquoise lazer scanners already did the math and counted the pills, scattered on the tiles. But it WASN'T what it looked like. Scott spilled them.

Well, technically he threw them on the floor like they were burning coals, but the intent counted, right?

His hands were shaking. Everything was wrong. TV-21 was lost. Again. No amount of upbeat platitudes Scott said to calm down and cheer up Allie could make it better. He let Dad down. Again. He didn't save what mattered to Dad most. Again. He just wanted to stop shaking. Or maybe to just stop. Maybe John, pale in the doorway, didn't need to know that.

He hadn't touched the prescription bottle in his bathroom cabinet for years. Since a smirking mustached general on a GDF committee, assembled to evaluate his claim for IR to go operational again, wondered out loud how they would know his judgement in the danger zone would not be impaired, if the GDF discharged him for being too traumatized to see straight in the first place. His therapist wouldn't be happy about that, but he stopped taking her calls around the same time too.

Today he just needed to calm down. He needed to be strong for Allie, who didn't remember Dad's first Thunderbird, and for Gordie, who did. For Virgil and John, who remembered Dad's dark, stormy grief and withdrawal from them. For Grandma, who needed him to see her son's dreams through.

One little pill, maybe two. But his hands were shaking, as the TV-21 exploding conflated with a different one behind his eyelids - so much combustion energy to take Dad away. So one pill became a palmfull. He was just staring at his hand for a while. Okay, it WAS tempting. John DEFINITELY didn't need to know about that. It would just stop. All of it. The pain, the failure, the fear, the losses. Gone. Like Mom was gone. Like Dad was gone. Nothing he said or did could make it right.

But then he saw his brothers, ashen from grief and days of crying, all clad in black suits. Again. Alone and lost without him. Again.

So he threw the pills forcefully away, as if burned. They clattered like pebbles on the tiles and skipped everywhere. That's when John came in because John too knew his tells. And now John didn't believe him, clutching his shoulders and shaking, yelling that he drank water, yelling into his comm for Virgil and a bloodtest kit. Even if it wasn't what it looked like. Not really.

***

Virgil was doing what he did best - fixing. Maybe also hiding. He couldn't fix TV-21 and Dad's shattered dream. He couldn't fix Scott's heartbreak and poorly hidden assumed failure now any more than he could fix it all those years ago. But he COULD help fix Four and with it - the mood of the despondent little Squid. One brother sorted out was exponentially better than zero brothers. Then his comm blared red.

The code was "Two-one", and 2-1 meant TV-21, and TV-21 was bad news. Bad, bad news. John's grim, tense face in the holo confirmed as much and Virgil felt the island shift and spin beneath his feet, as he legged it to Scott's rooms.

***

[Once the Tinies were settled for the night, Scott stayed down in the living room to try and catch Dad on his way out of the office. He'd been locked in there for the past several hours with the young engineer, who designed TV-21. Shaken by nearly loosing Dad to the crash, they only ever glimpsed a flash of fuming fury when Dad and "Brains" returned from the failed test flight. So Scott lingered on the couch way past the bedtime in hopes to talk to Dad some more. A mistake, as it turned out.

The teen's attempt at a smile and a simple, if heartfelt, reassurance was shot down sternly when Dad finally emerged for a glass of water and a stifled curse, only to disappear again back into the study, lit by gossamer holo-light of schematics and figures in the conference call.

"Nothing you say or do can make this right, Scott! Go to bed!"

Virgil and John watched in horror, from behind the rails of the upper floor how Scott swayed, as if slapped, when the door slamed behind Dad again. The lanky figure then doubled over, bracing himself on a chair. Scott tried and failed to gasp through a wrecking sob, clamping a hand over his mouth to suppress the sound.

The brothers were frozen in shock, hesitant what to do as Scott looked about ready to keel over. He was probably hyperventilating, air weezing with effort through constricted pain.

Virgil stepped tentatively towards the stairs, John clutching his sleeve nervously. But Scott steadied himself for a moment only to bolt through the kitchen and out of the back door into the pitch darkness.

The brothers didn't wait any longer, practically tumbling down the stairs and on to the back porch, but Scott, the high school track star, was long gone.

They would be in so much trouble if Dad caught them downstairs, awake, on a school night, but Dad obviously was... otherwise occupied.

John, pale and wide-eyed, on the verge of tears himself, kept dragging Virgil's sleeve to run after Scott. Only which way? The farm bordered on the meadow. It was already dark. Scott could be anywhere.

Where Scott went - Virgil followed. That was the way of things. It included Rescue Scouts and multiple other pursuits. So the boy tried his best to push through the stinging of his own eyes and think like big brother, the Falcon Scout, would. They needed flashlights. The night was chilly, gusts of wind rattling the loose tiles on the old barn. Scott ran out in his sleep tee-shirt. So they would need to pick up his jacket too, on the way out.

But first, they needed to placate and possibly bribe Gordie into keeping Allie from crying if he woke up. And they needed to figure out a search grid for big brother. Letting Dad in on the commotion wasn't an option.]

TBC

#thunderbirds are go #scott tracy #scott tracy needs a hug #john tracy #virgil tracy #jeff tracy needs a cuff up his head #jeff tracy needs a front row seat to his son’s angst #my fic #scott tracy needs his dad #thunderbirds 2015

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typicalopposite · 4 months ago

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inspiration saturday <3

THANK YOU 3000 to the beautiful talented amazing @bidisasterevankinard for the tag :) now lets take it back to more

take me back - tommy amnesia fic - from ch 2

They release him a few hours later, and he orders an Uber to take him home— he can go get his truck later; he supposes he should take a couple days off anyway given… everything, anyway. He pushes his front door open and walks into the cold dark… empty house. Even though he hadn’t felt it in the moments between waking up in the garage and leaving for Evan's, the loneliness and heartbreak that has accumulated over the past year is felt as soon as his foot crosses the threshold. In the foyer, the framed 8x10 picture Evan took of them on his porch swing that used to be the first thing you see entering his house… is gone.

Evan’s extra pair of running shoes are gone from the shoe rack. His Kiss The Chef apron is gone from the kitchen. His homemade almond milk is gone from the fridge. His toothbrush, and his drawers of clothes— plural because he often left his clothes and wore Tommy’s home— and his ‘your sheets suck, so I’m buying you a new set’, bed in a bag, early birthday gift is gone from his room… It is as if they never existed, just like Evan predicted.

Except in Tommy’s head they just existed yesterday. In his head, yesterday they spent hours on the phone when they should have been resting between calls. They were making plans for what they planned to do to each other after their date. Tommy was dropping the box with the Lakers tickets off at the restaurant and making sure they were brought to the table before they arrived, so Evan wouldn’t see. Yesterday— only it was actually a year ago— Tommy was so fucking happy it sometimes overwhelmed him.

He crawls into his bed, under the stiff sheets that smell like Tommy, and only him; he tangles himself within them and he allows himself to cry. He allows himself just this moment to grieve, to wallow, and to writhe from the sheer weight of it all until he feels like he is about to throw up… Then he allows the anger to seep in. He screams until his voice is hoarse and the wound in the back of his head is throbbing so strong a horse tranquilizer wouldn’t help him. He punches his pillow over and over until he misses a swing and catches the hard wood of the headboard. Then he reels his hand back and punches at that same spot until his knuckles bleed.

He draws his hand up to his chest, skin broken and aching just like his heart, and finally allows himself to go numb. He lays on his side and zones out, staring at nothing until darkness creeps into his vision and he falls asleep…

“Yesterday” he was hopeful this time just might be different. Today he knows he was wrong.

no pressure tags! @30somethingautisticteacher @sunnywithachanceofbi @judymarch15 @nine-one-wanton @herrmannhalsteadproduction

@lavenderleahy @kinardsevan @onthewaytosomewhere

and for those following along @somethingaboutfirefly @silversky9 @marvelousbuckley @leashybebes @saibowtie

@portinastorm @beanarie @hyperfocusthusly @ladyeyrewrites @theotherbuckley @unhingedangstaddict

@mmso-notlikethat @a-mel0n @rdng1230 @sierrarreads @fenrirscarsback

(lemme know if you want to be taken off or added <3)

#bucktommy #tommy kinard #evan buckley #amnesia fic #inspiration saturday #my fics #bucktommy wip

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jo-writes-fanfic · 1 year ago

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Love & Mischief

Loki x Female!Reader

Rating: M (Mature)

Warnings: There's nothing explicit, some allusions to sex, probably language, violence, and heavy descriptions of grief and loss, although there is somewhat of a happy ending.

Word count: About 2.9k

Synopsis: You're Asgard's goddess of love and loyalty, but you've lost your god of mischief, how do you move forward?

Author’s note: This is set in Thor Love and Thunder. Also if you've ever seen the last scene of the show Reign, it has an inspiration in this fic too. I've had a lot of grief and loss in my life lately and this felt very therapeutic to write. I've tried writing for Loki a couple of times but always chickened out, so I really hope y'all enjoy this and hopefully there will be more to come!

I am no longer using a taglist! Instead if you would like to be notified when I post new fics follow my side blog @jo-writes-fanfic and turn your post notifications on!

“And what are you the goddess of?”

The words resounded in your head again and again and again.

When Hela said those words to you, years ago, you had fired back, so sure of yourself and your role in Asgard, your role in your life, your role in his life.

But now…

What was a goddess of loyalty and love who no longer had love? Who no longer believed in such things as fate and security in love?

Your powers should have died when he did.

It was an odd pairing to many, you knew. But it worked perfectly, your strengths and weaknesses worked in tandem and created a love worth fighting for.

But the fight was gone.

The god of mischief (and betrayal- some would argue) and the goddess of loyalty and love were a match made in Valhalla.

Until he was gone, ripped from you so violently that you still woke up screaming from nightmares regularly.

You sat next to your king in New Asgard during another security council meeting.

You were completely zoned out, thinking of bright blue-green eyes, dark curls, and a blade-thin smile. Valkyrie nudged you. “Hey, tone it down, you're bumming out the whole room,” she whispered.

You sighed and blinked out of your reverie, and finally noticed that the mood of the room, despite the recent good news that had been received (you can’t remember what it was - honestly, you forgot to pay attention, these meetings were very dull and tended to drone on) was altogether glum.

“Sorry,” you whispered back and reigned your mood in.

Normally, your powers were extremely helpful; tightening the bonds of loyalty in those around you, increasing love in both romantic and familial bonds, reading others moods - often influencing them, and sometimes even manipulating loyalties. But currently, drowning in grief as you had been the past several years, your powers were more of a burden than anything.

The heaviness in the room instantly lightened, and the conversation flowed in a more productive direction once more.

“We need to talk about these moods of yours,” Val said once she was satisfied that the meeting was going better.

“No thanks,” you grumbled, and promptly zoned out once more. You really preferred it when Thor was also a mess, before he got his shit together, and you weren’t the only one that hadn’t moved on from the repercussions of the war with Thanos. But you know what they say, misery loves company. And back then, no one nagged you as much to get your shit together.

“A little help here?” the king asked you, irritation in her tone.

Another disagreement had broken out, this time a fist fight. Honestly, you found it amusing and were inclined to let it go on for a while, but when Val glared at you, you stood up and clapped once.

Everyone stopped their movements immediately and looked up at you.

“Enough,” you said sternly. “Asgard, though we may have differing opinions, we all fight for the same thing, the prospering of New Asgard. Remember that,” you ordered, infusing the room with compliance, reminding them of their bonds of loyalty.

Everyone looked sheepish and sat back down.

You flourished a hand to Val and said, “My king,” giving her the floor.

She gave them all a rousing speech, it was honestly quite good, some of her best work, and then ended the dreadful meeting early, much to your relief.

“Good job, boss. Well, I’m off-”

“Not so fast,” she said as she caught your arm.

You sighed once again.

“Do we need to talk about this? About Lo-”

“Don’t say his name,” you hissed and the tension in the room raised significantly as your anger and grief filled the space, making the large room feel claustrophobic.

She sighed and took your hand.

“Look, I can’t pretend to know what you’re going through and what you’ve lost. We can all feel it from time to time and I know it’s an incredibly heavy burden. I’m just concerned for you and want to help you,” she said.

With tears in your eyes, you nodded.

“I’m concerned about me too,” you mumbled.

“What can I do to help? Tell me. Anything,” she practically begged.

“Nothing, unless you can drag him back from Valhalla,” you muttered and brushed past her.

And life continued to trudge forward. As a goddess, never had such a short amount of years felt so long, an eternity really.

You felt as if you were stuck in a time loop and every day was close to the same.

You woke up and for a split second forgot he was gone and reached across your bed to find it cold. Then, a wave of grief hit you that was so heavy, each and every time, that you forgot how to breathe.

Eventually you forced yourself out of bed, shoved some food in your mouth as you rushed out the door and met Valkyrie for early morning training. Then you usually sat by the sea and stared as the sun rose in the sky, thinking of him but trying so hard not to. And again, you forced yourself on.

You completed your daily tasks as the King’s right hand goddess; meetings, meetings, and more meetings usually. Most nights you sat at the bar, watched Valkyrie drink an ungodly amount, then when you got bored enough you walked through New Asgard.

You walked and walked, thinking if you moved enough, if you stayed ahead of your sadness, maybe it wouldn’t catch you in the morning.

It always did.

Rinse and repeat.

There were differences of course, sometimes, you had to leave New Asgard to do the whole ambassador thing. Occasionally Thor came to visit and brought along his various cohorts and problems.

Today was one of those days. You were improving in your hand to hand combat skills, according to your King, through your daily rigorous training sessions, which pleased you since you spent most days feeling like you wanted to fight the whole nine realms. And then, following your routine, you sat on the cliffside and stared at the sea.

You never even got to give him a proper funeral, you thought, which then made you think of Frigga and the beautiful funeral service for her that you had watched through tears.

A voice called your name, you looked back and for a moment, a blink and you miss it moment, you saw him. A flash of green-blue eyes and inky black hair, your heart skipped a beat and the vision was gone.

You shook your head in an attempt to clear it, honestly these flashes of him you’ve been having lately should be concerning, but instead you clung to them, desperate for any connection to him that you could get.

Although the true sight before you was one that made you smile, as Thor came up and wrapped you in a bear hug.

You wheezed and when he finally put you down he chuckled heartily.

“How are you?” he asked and you gave him a look like he should know the answer to that question.

“Well I have something that should cheer you right up,” he said as he steered you back towards the town.

“Does it involve needing my help to fight another dangerous life-threatening bad guy?” you asked wryly.

“Perhaps….” he said.

You huffed a laugh and said, “I’m in.”

The threat you were fighting turned out to be a whole lot more dangerous and life-threatening than you anticipated.

Which is how you found yourself on a ship with Thor, Jane, Valkyrie, and Korg on an unfortunate adventure to confront the God Butcher.

Watching Thor and Jane fall back in love was not doing much for your mood. Val handed you another drink and you downed it.

“Hey, hey, you’re totally bringing down the vibe, mate. This is supposed to be about love,” Korg said to you. You huffed and rolled your eyes.

You made an effort to lessen the dark cloud you’d brought on the ship.

“Do you think you’ll ever find love again?” Val asked you, after she confessed that she’d avoided any serious relationships for decades.

“No,” you said, like it was final.

“Really?” Korg asked. “Shouldn’t the goddess of love fall in love easily?”

You shot him a glare.

“I love. I love a great many people. But true love, like soulmates and shit, that only comes once in a lifetime. And after you’ve had it, you’re pretty much ruined for anything less. So no, I don’t think I’ll ever truly find love again,” you said with a sigh.

“Heavy,” he replied and you cracked up.

You laughed so hard you snorted, and at first your friends looked at you in shock, then joined you in laughter, and the room filled with love once again, the love of friendship, and you realized you’ve been overlooking the amount of love you actually had in your life due to your grief.

You grabbed Val’s hand and patted Korg’s disembodied head, and watched Thor and Jane reignite their flame of love.

“I love you all and am grateful for all the support you’ve given me,” you said.

“No final confessions,” Valkyrie said, “this is not the end for any of us.”

You nodded and then the ship reached its destination. The shadow realm yawned open in front of your vision and you gulped.

You had this horrible feeling, like dread, in the pit of your stomach, and you saw him again. That flash you’ve seen so many times recently, but more and more frequently since this misadventure started and that dread molted in your stomach into resolve.

You were certain and you were ready.

Of course the plan went immediately sideways. You crossed swords with Gorr the God Butcher and your heart threatened to pound out of your chest.

Yes, your sword fighting skills had improved, but not enough to be a good match for a seasoned warrior and god killer.

“What are you the Goddess of? Are you even worth my sword?” he growled out.

You gritted your teeth and went on the attack. Your rage filled the space as you dodged, slashed, and pushed him as hard as you could.

You could hear your friends yelling, but you couldn’t lose your focus even for a moment as he pushed back and fought with skill beyond your own.

And you realized you’d been doing this all wrong. You were fighting without your biggest asset, your own natural gifts and abilities. The powers that made you a goddess of Asgard.

He didn’t notice your impact on his mood because your rage didn’t even touch the deep well of his own, he didn’t feel your rage due to the mountain that was his own.

No, rage wouldn’t work, you thought, and as your swords crossed again you used your other hand to grab his.

Your power was more potent when you were skin to skin.

You poured love and loyalty into your enemy, thinking only of happiness and good memories, trying to lessen his rage. Trying to decrease his fight, hoping to convince him to put down his sword.

Your breath caught into a gasp as his emotions infected your own. His love and loyalty were intertwined with an ocean of grief. Just like your own.

And you were drowning.

His emotions, his rage at the injustice and unfairness and unending sadness felt so close to your own emotions that you were thrown back into a memory.

Your worst memory, actually, the day you lost him for good. And you knew your enemy was in his worst memory as well. The origin of his grief.

Just like you watched the origin of your grief as it unfolded in front of you once more. The reason for your nightmares, the reason you woke up screaming, you stepped back and gasped as the memory overcame you.

And Gorr did the same.

You think the sound might be the worst part. Loki’s choking. Or maybe it was the snapping sound, like a branch, a snap that ended everything for him. And for you.

And then there’s the sight. You couldn’t even describe it, it was too awful to explain. You’ve never spoken about it, even in the therapy sessions your King forced you to attend.

He thudded to the ground and you gasped as the vision cleared.

You were drowning in your own grief and it was clear Gorr was more accustomed to drowning than you.

He recovered one second quicker, and your battlefield reflexes were not quite up to par.

You slashed your sword up but all it did was clang against his where it was embedded in your stomach.

All the air whooshed from your lungs.

“You are not a god that deserves death, are you?” he said as he cocked his head. “But you lost faith in yourself, in what you stand for.”

You weren’t even sure you felt the pain. Maybe the shock inhibited your ability to feel any pain. You’d been injured before, sure, but you always felt the sharpness of it. But of course you’ve never been hurt this severely.

You tried to speak, but it came out as a groan.

“I am sorry,” he said and slowly slid the sword from your abdomen and you fell to your knees. Blood gushed and you saw that flash again.

“Beautiful,” you mumbled as you saw the flash of a wry smirk, eyes full of love, and a hand outstretched towards you. Beckoning you.

Finally, you thought.

The last thing you heard was Thor roaring and your king calling your name as she caught you before your body hit the ground.

There was darkness, utter darkness, and then a solid weight beneath you.

You realized you were laying down. You were laying on the most comfortable bed you’d ever had the pleasure of sleeping on.

Sleeping? Are you sleeping? Wasn’t there something…something painful? You couldn’t remember.

You blinked your eyes open and let out all the air in your lungs.

Your eyes filled with tears, this time happy tears. For the first time in what felt like an eternity, you cried happy tears.

Loki laid beside you, close enough for you to touch, staring at you with such love in his eyes that tears spilled down your cheeks.

“Oh,” you gasped.

He reached out and cupped your cheek, wiping the tears away.

You sobbed, and he shushed you even as he pulled you closer. You buried your face in his bare chest and he crushed you against him, so tight, tight enough that you were sure he would never let you go again.

He ran his hand up and down your back, and with a start you realized you were void of clothes as well.

You awoke in the afterlife just as you would have every day of the best years of your life with him; naked in his bed after a night of making love with adoration in his eyes as he watched you sleep.

You took a shuddering breath and pulled back to look at him in the eyes once more, your hands never leaving his body, you ran them up his chest, across his face, twirled your fingers in his hair.

“This is Valhalla, isn’t it?” you asked.

“Yes, my love,” he said, and kissed the fresh tears on your cheeks away.

Then he kissed your lips. It was a delicate thing at first, but then it molted and grew until it felt exactly like it used to. The kiss cemented you to him, secured you right where you should be, where he had been waiting for you.

And all of the pain you experienced before that kiss didn’t even matter anymore. Because you loved him and he loved you, and that’s all.

His lips moved against yours and your tears mixed with his and it was perfect. You loved him, that’s all.

You weren’t angry at him for dying and leaving you alone. You weren’t drowning in heavy emotions anymore. You held no grudges or hard feelings over anyone or anything anymore, not now that you were in the arms of your greatest love once more.

“It’s been so long,” you gasped out when he pulled back and smiled.

“I know,” he said with a small smile.

“I’m sorry,” you said.

“I am as well,” he replied, simply and sweetly.

You felt light as a feather. You felt released from your pain and anguish. You were with him again, and that’s all that mattered.

“Isn’t the introduction to Valhalla traditionally supposed to be much different?” you asked.

He smirked and mischief twinkled in his eyes, “It is possible I managed to bend some rules for you.”

You huffed a laugh and pulled him into another kiss. One that could’ve lasted seconds or could’ve lasted a lifetime. It didn’t really matter. You had eternity in the hall of warriors with your Loki, and you were secure knowing you died fighting for the ones you loved.

“Would you like me to give you the grand tour?” he whispered in your ear as he pulled back from your lips and began kissing his way across your skin.

“Maybe later,” you said as you wrapped your arms around him and pulled him atop of you.

“We have an eternity,” he promised and kissed you, slow and deep.

Tagging those who showed interest in this fic (thanks for the support!) : @thespiralstaircasewriter @bellaisasleep @elly-hiddlesherloki @izhunny @drachenkinder @spacefloosie

#loki #loki x reader #loki x you #loki x y/n #loki laufeyson #loki laufesyon x reader #loki imagine #loki odinson #loki friggason #loki angst

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