#and getting monday and thursday off
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im applying to backup jobs and stuff and im realizing i am just. not well. like mentally and also physically
#tongue#i honestly dont know how much longer i can handle like. working for really long shifts#im still so exhausted and sick and i didnt realize that mcd was like#actually killing me#but i feel so fucking pathetic for even considering orher options here#and i need money i dont have a choice#but if i work the same hours at the same place my moms bf works ill literally be working like#ten hours a day#and getting monday and thursday off#and im apprehensive about it entirely bc i cant handle only having one day off at a time anymore 😭#LIKE they gotta be. together. i cant recoup anymore i need that#im not saying i cant recoup without it im saying that i just cant as a general rule#and i feel like a fat lazy piece of shit for even thinking that 🤪🤪🤪🤪🤪#srry if this is like unreadable i keep like not taking my meds and im like confusing myself
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#my desserts#okay the hot dog and hamburgers aren't my design they're one of the standard designs we're supposed to make#and about a week ago we were having a store tour#which is essentially when a bunch of rich people from higher up in the company come walk around the store#so everyone has to work way harder to make everything perfect and jam pack the shelves with food#so that they can look at it#and they send in people who's job it is to micro manage everything in the lead up to them coming#and they always insist on coming on like a monday or tuesday so most of that stuff expires and goes in the garbage#like if they at least came on like a thursday we could be prepped for the weekend rush#it costs a lot of money too like my manager owns the store and he personally has to pay for like#getting everything professionally cleaned and the extra hours and the extra product#and this was like the 6th visit in the past year! usually you get 1 or 0 visits in a year! why do they keep coming back!!!!#and this visit they were adamant about having those hot dog and hamburger cupcakes out as 6 packs#and if you're going to do 6 packs anything less than 24 packs looks pathetic#those of you who can do multiplication know that that is 144 cupcakes#and those of you with keen eyes can see that the bun is made by cutting off the top of the cupcake. which is very tedious#those cupcakes took me THREE HOURS to do#then as soon as they went out on the floor someone placed an order for 24 6 packs this coming weekend so that took me three more hours 😑#anyway after all that the higher ups didn't even come. they had 'dinner reservations'#but yeah making 16 to sell individually isn't so bad
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guess what I've been fixating on
#animal crossing#animal crossing new horizons#acnh#tom nook#smth smth#yeah ive just been playing acnh again. sorry#i just unlocked terraforming this morning (as of when im creating the post on monday not when its posted on thursday)#so hopefully by the time this is posted ill have gotten some rly nice street patterns made up#i found some pretty good ones but the way they were set up was like. not exactly what i need? so im trying to like#rip them off ig??? is that bad? idk. im gonna put my own spin on em ig#im just not super good at making convincing like...sidewalks w depth to them and such#anyway hopefully this time around i can really get my island looking as baller as i want#the reason i restarted was bc id fucked my island up so thoroughly that i wasnt even sure what to do w it anymore#or where to start w it#also my plaza was SUPER close to the airport.#so i chose a different layout this time where the plaza is like in the middle right area of it#more room for an entrance and such#i even have made up a Future Map including new landscaping and zones#so ill get to that over the next few days since i have time off work#also! this is the first entry ive made using my new smth smth tools#namely the automatic halftone-ify-er and a custom hand-drawn font#it took a bit less time to make this one since i didnt have to 1. hand write the dialogue and 2. think about the specific halftone colors#im still sticking to a limited palette (specifically 256 web safe colors) just cuz#but yeah. if you have actually read all of this and you have thoughts on the look of this one vs the previous ones lmk 🩵 thanks#also have a good day and drink some water :)
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Modern au
Manon is a pushover in denial when it comes to her daughter. All the toddler has to do is say ‘I don’t want to go to school’ and Manon will let her stay because her daughter is smart and she makes her announcement while cuddling her mama and honestly Manon doesn’t have it in her to send the child to school.
Dorian, on the other hand, thinks that Manon shouldn’t give in so easily. To solve the problem (because he loves how Manon is a gushing mess when it comes to their daughter) he decides to take their daughter to school.
Different tactic: his daughter clung to him and cried that she didn’t want to go inside the classroom. She wants him and doesn’t want him to leave her. “Don’t leave me daddy, I want you,” and Dorian realized: she’s only in pre school, she’s not missing out on anything if she doesn’t show up for a day or two. So he carries her and leaves, returning home twenty minutes later with a much happier child eating an ice cream to make her feel better after her drop off ordeal.
#booklr#books and reading#throne of glass#manon blackbeak#tog#dorian havilliard#manon x dorian#manorian#literally all of their friends called them out on this#even chaol who’s always on Dorian’s side he was like ‘bro no???’#like why are you rewarding her???#honestly their daughter doesn’t even have to try#by that point their daughter was so used to this Yrene knew it was not going to go smoothly#so everyone decided to take turns picking up the very spoiled Blackbeak-Havilliard child and drop her off at school#monday is yrene#tuesday is rowan#wednesday is chaol#thursday is aelin#and friday is asterin#bc yrene knew that if her parents are involved the kid has a chance of getting her way#the rest of them are already parents and know this dance very well#so they took over until Dorian and Manon get their shit together and just send their kid to school without giving in at the first sign of#tears. ALL children cry at drop off honestly it’s not that deep (Asterin’s words) but they move on in a few days#luckily when Dorian and Manon realized their mistake their daughter was already used to school and has made friends and it was just…normal
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#This me in bed#my first day off since my trip 6 days ago and starting my new job on top of working m other job at an inconvenient schedule#girlies I was fckn dead#sorry I didn’t get shit done today ugh#anyway I work both jobs Mondays Wednesdays and Fridays#off Tuesdays and Thursdays from both#I do work on the weekend but my Saturday shift is just 4 hrs#and my Sunday shift is 5#I told my original job last minute abt this new job so the schedule just sucked ASSS last week#my wallet abt to be FAT#paying off my credit card#and eating good PERHAPS HEHEHE#「✨」 ━━ ooc.#pls bother me on discord im alive again
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...
#oh lads. its not looking good for my genomics exam on Thursday. its all fucked#i dunno. its just been a weird day. bc one of my lab mates is getting ready to go to the astr0biology science conference#and its just so wild how i got here. into the perfect position. i have a great advisor. a great phd project. a committee member who is super#integrated with n4sa astr0biology projects. and so many of the instructors are amazing. my genomics prof is terrifyingly smart#so is my advisor and his wife. and the program is great. ecology and Evolution. its perfect. its all perfect#and yet. and yet. it just feels like its all falling apart. ive lost that compulsive thing thats always set in my chest#and now all i want to do is lay on the floor and cry and sleep and not do anything. why am i so tired?#its just so frustrating. and im sure ive got the most wretched vibes bc im constantly like 1 comment away from bursting into tears#like 2 weeks and its done. then im off to find a summer job. and find a long term job. and consider throwing away everything ive ever worked#toward. just let it all burn. im so tired. and i dont get to see my therapist until Monday. thats gonna b fun#hi. hello. since last i saw you my life has crumbled into pieces. ugh. i just dont wanna fail this genomics exam but it looks like that's#where we're headed. maybe i should have just dipped out of these last 3 weeks. but no. i didnt want to leave the lady i ta for 100 lab#reports to unexpectedly have to grade 4 days before grades are due. ugh. itll b fine. i mean it wont but whatever#unrelated
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With taking a break from drawing Oliver everyday and all I think I might continue on my cosplay of him tomorrow because Ive been seriously putting it off and I have Saturday and Sunday off work
#the gremlin speaks#im feeling a bit better now i was just seriously going through it wednesday and thursday 😭#i might take the rest of the weekend off drawing oliver and resume my daily art on monday#my mental healths kinda weird normally i feel kinnda fine#for the most part at least#and then itll just randomly drop and ill feel like i have like no control over it at all#but i talked to some people about it and im gonna call up a doctor soon and hopefully get into therapy#not to vent or anything btw just kinda explaining whats going on with me
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Is everyone excited for me to post a fic next week. Or at least looking forward to it at all. Or like. Remembered it? I of course remembered but at the same time I just kinda registered that finishing this up and posting it means I'm posting a fic
So uh. There's that to look forward to!
#speculation nation#the reverse bang fic so it's unrelated to anything ive posted prior#and well if you missed the preview for it. tough luck i guess lmfao#it wont matter either way tho. first chapter will be up on monday. and then i'll be shooting for one per each day after.#total of 4 chapters. so monday tuesday wednesday and thursday.#gotta balance it with school tho. it's still pretty early so i dont have too much work yet#which im banking on. ive been writing. hoping to finish all the writing tomorrow#so i can focus on just editing during the week. and get them out nice and easy.#now you may ask why im still working on it this close to posting and Uhhhhh#dont. even worry about it. yeah. dont even look at the entire blanket i crocheted instead of writing. it's Fine.#anyways im gonna go push wolfwood off a ladder now wish me luck#(officially this is joke. dont even worry about it)
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So yeah avoiding my phone didn't work and also meant I sat on the kitchen floor staring into space for about 3 hours before Alfie woke up but hey at least I didn't break anything
Them being around is helping a little but they're also struggling and it fuckin sucks bc I know we're both just. Rotating money stress in our minds
#like. i went out earlier to get bread#just bread bc we cant afford anything else#got just enough in the bank to cover the work thing but since management stjll hasnt gotten back to me on HOW to pay it its like#our electricity is already in debt lol it has a thing where you can go £10 into debt before it switches off#and it usually wont switch off over weekends#presumably bc all but 1 places nearby thst we can top it up at are shut on weekends but anyway#so we're like. okay. it MIGHT last today and if it does thst SHOULD mean itll last till monday.#but then itll be at least a tenner in debt#then we only have to last till thursday but its. do we keep this money thats for The Thing that is once again unclear on how urgent it is#or do we spend it on the Soon To Be Immdiately Urgent thing#and thats not even CONSIDERING food lmao we. i got 2 loaves of bread so we can at least survive on toast for a few days#we got 3 maybe 4 meals worth of stuff still in the kitchen#like...at this point i dont even care if i have to go a few days without eating at all to make it to thursday but its.#its so fucked up those are the terms im thinking in#and this isnt asking for more donations i really cannot take that today im at the fuckin bottom of my barrel#and already feel hopeless and useless and an active drain to everything around me#but its. like. how. why. why is it still like this. why is it looking extremely unlikely its ever gonna change.#whats the point if its all for a few scattered handful hours of actual peace and comfort never mind happiness#tldr yes i am once again suicidal but small s#like in the sense of i would feel immense relief if a truck came at me on my way to work tomorrow and would not step out of the way but#dont have it in me to actually consciously act upon
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I'm actually not off from work again until my birthday. so i get to spend my birthday...doing laundry, I guess???
give it up for working 6 days this week and 7 days in a row. at least i get overtime and can come in later for my shifts
#i get to work monday tuesday wednesday thursday friday saturday and sunday#and won't be off until this coming monday#yaaaaayy /s#i have no plans and no money#but at least i won't be at work
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i miss taskmaster i need s18 like right now actually
#nommy rambles#taskmaster#we're getting quiz mondays and ratw wednesdays back next week#and then it will be bake off tuesday and taskmaster thursday time!!
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they need to invent a pharmacy that fucking works
#:)#i ordered my prescription last thursday and went to get it today only to be told first off that they don't have it#and second off that because it only takes 2-3 days to process i should have picked it up sooner???#fully my prescription request got voided and i gotta start again so guess who's getting no meds until monday now heehee#got a couple old lower dose pills and my old alpha blockers so if the worst comes to it i've got Something but still. come on#six months of prescriptions and only one time has a pickup actually gone smoothly
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I swear to god can they stop changing up the reception times
#student living#literally every week is a different opening times than the previous since the week before easter break#ive been to pick up a parcel three times now first time it was closed for the day on Wednesday which i hadnt known#but the sign they put up said they were open until 3 Thursday and Friday but i had class until 2 and am half an hour walk between campuses#didnt get back on time on Thursday but got there with 10 minutes to spare on Friday but it was already deserted for the weekend#the opening hours sign said temporary hours was just for that week so i was like okay guess ill wait until monday then#got a notification this morning about another parcel being dropped off with regular working hours included at the bottom#go to pick up my parcel after noon and the place is deserved and theres a new sign up#theyre open only until 12 for the first half of the week and then until 3 Thursday and friday again#so theyve changed opening hours from 8-5 to 8-12 🫥 but not sent out any notice about this#when am i supposed to collect my parcels if you keep changing the times with no warnings?#this is like the 6th week in a row that theyre operating on new times#i need to collect my package its stuff i need for this weekend im also waiting on my friends birthday presents to arrived for this sunday#and of course reception isnt open on weekends for students when everyone would be available to collect their packages outside of classes
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i'm so bummed i accidentally turned town a job interview for a job where I could have worked with a good friend and mentor 😔
#i was telling her abt the preschool i got hired at and i was like yeah im worried bc the other teacher doesn't seem nice#and the student teacher ratio is really bad they're really understaffed and underfunded im just really worried it will be too much for me#and she was like oh you should apply to the school i work at bc we're hiring snd the ratio is great and the pay might be better also#and i never knew the name of the school she worked at until then#and its one i DID apply to but i told them nevermind after this one hired me 😬#but now i really wish i'd taken that interview#i'm going to call or email first thing on monday tho and hopefullyyy i can get in for an interview before i start my new job on thursday#so i wont literally have to take time off for it#and then if they offer me i will be able to tell the new job nevermind while its still early#either that or i'll try to stick it out a few months then apply to the other one for summer or something#but im not sure whether its best to quit immediately or let them think im dependable and staying then leave in three months lol#but mostly for the other job idk if it would ruin the opportunity to tell them nevermind i want the job a week after i said no#compared to a few months later#they might have forgotten me by then which would probably be good#idkkk#my first reference literally works there which will hopefully help and maybe they'll give me a break#the pay scale looks the same as the one i just accepted but i think they'll offer less bc they're not as desperate#but i literally dont care its such a better working environment#and the pay scale is the same so they would give me a raise after a few months#and the work will be so much easier#and the commute#and i Definitely know i can work with my friend#vs the co teacher at this new job who seems really intense and unfriendly#anyway!!#im really anxious abt this new job and i'll stay if the other place wont take me now#but i really hope they give me another chance#also its super close and easy drive and the commute for the other one scares me a bit lol#this has been a shitpost
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In that sense it's true... It's good I was over here...
#i dont need any more traumatic images in that house...#.... its not that i cant say it out loud its just it's kinda tw so i dont wanna jumpscare anyone heh#welp my rewatch on frieren is gonna hurt even more....#after i shower i will sent the message ... even tho i think its better on call but yeah#i was gonna get off monday anyways so.... im going back to my town for sunday and going back there on Monday...#i guess touristing hasnt been on mt favor! hehehehe i will go out with a friend on Thursday tho#so i will be able to at least wear my new dress!#seari talks
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oh my godddd if i do not hear back one way or another about this job before the weekend i will go INSANE
#they said they were gonna make a decision by end of day thursday!!! where is the decision babe!!!#i have been so anxious this entire week!!!!#i just bought a huge bottle of wine bc i have tried and failed all week to cope with this without Substances#i do not handle uncertainty well!!!!!!#if i don't hear back by monday i'm just gonna assume i didn't get it and start applying to other jobs#if i get ghosted i'll be sooooo pissed#like ghosting job candidates is bad 100% of the time but i think it'd be downright MEAN to do this to the four of us who are up for the job#we're all people who got laid off from this company and had this one hope of returning to normalcy dangled in front of us#we at least deserve a yes or no!!!!#i want the answer to be yes bc i don't want to have to do any more interviews lmao. and bc it's a safe & not too hard job#i would not be too upset with a no though bc i could make a lot more and have more job stability elsewhere#m.txt
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