#and for my own sorting system
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WOOOOOOOOOO!!!
good ol artfight revenges for @humming-fly
#Ya Ha Ha! explodes#these are all sooooo fuckin choice 10/10 would scream at my computer screen again#the colors and vibrancy in all of your work is SO good post#that fayre solo pic especially OOH those colors are so so so good you knocked fayre's weirdass color scheme out of the PARK#and the COMIC AHG#so glad our silly little guys got to have their silly little interactions hahaha#such a fun revenge chain hahaha it was a Pleasure playing with you!#fayre#prism#and for my own sorting system#doodles#just so I can find it again ;P#not my art
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chiens-loups
#''it strikes me that i know that girl'' <- lines that sit in your head forever and ever. narrative parallels of all time#thoughts#my art#les mis#javert#eponine#victor hugo said we've had nice parallels between a middle aged man and a young girl. now it's time for fucked up parallels#i had a whole collection of these w the two of them about parallels/cycles/javert perpetuating the same system that hurt him. but#they're barely sketches so i'll just post this on its own#there's a version of this with ghostly dogs things curled around them which was fun to do but felt a little too silly/reductive/unclear#so i took it out. altho i had a fun bit abt how their different collars represented their character#also not completely sure how i picture eponine but trying things out. i was really thinking abt how in her first appearance hugo emphasizes#that she is still a child even though she doesn't see herself that way & she's been forced to grow up quickly & was sort of trying to#reflect that. the odd area in mid teenage idk#still not Entirely happy with how i've structured/positioned it but it's been sitting on my computer for weeks so i may as well post it
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*slips another kunsel into your pocket*
#thinking about the public image of SOLDIER.#a thing to be revered and feared#a lot of npcs in the games recognize those mako eyes. but it's also implied that SOLDIERs aren't the only ones that have them?#mako junkies apparently have the same look. you'd figure they would be way more common#would that affect the way people view SOLDIERs? what goes through their minds when they see the eyes?#invariably it's taken as a sign of someone dangerous and unpredictable. sort of an unspoken cultural thing.#i wonder what new SOLDIERs think when they look in a mirror for the first time and see what's changed.#do they mourn their past selves? do they reflexively fear what they have become?#maybe for some of them that twinge of fear never really goes away even with time.#confident killers who avoid their own reflection like the plague.#even learn to avoid bad reactions other people might have. even if it means never showing your face to anyone for the rest of your life...#someone who is already barely perceived as human by human standards#sowing even more distrust in his kind.....#ffvii#kunsel#my art <3#phew. got that one out of my system
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Dave and I are ready to throw hands at the neighbour’s outdoor cat I s2g
Picture this: I am in bed. Dave is curled next to me. We are listening to welcome to night vale. It is dark. I am almost asleep. All is peaceful.
Something screams bloody murder outside my window, Dave uses my stomach as a springboard to launch himself at the trespasser to fight to the death. He misjudges his jump in the dark, hits the window with a bad amount of force, and screams so loud I’m convinced he must have broken his nose or something.
Dave’s fine (but growling and very obviously stressed) and I don’t think I’m going to sleep any time soon. Ugh. I wish they’d at least keep their cat inside at night, during the day it doesn’t bother us half as much. I don’t know who owns it though so :/
#maybe this will kick my ass into gear and convince me to get some sort of automatic sprinkler system#or SOMETHING to keep it away from my bedroom window#god forbid my own cat wants to feel safe in his own home#im already having an awful day so I guess this just rounds it out
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look at me and my bbg drawn by the marvelous bluejackals THESE MEAN SO MUCH TO MEEEE
#rambles#AAAAHEHEHEHEHE#quix tag#cat posting#I AM SO GLAD I HAVE MY OWN TAG FOR HIM IF I HAD TO PUT THIS INTO MAINTAGS FOR THE SAKE OF MY SORTING SYSTEM I WOUKD DIE#tehe. hes soooo cutsies and im soooo doggy and were like. yeagh#parasocial friendship with my oc bbg#ALSO ALSO LOOK AT THE QUIX DOG ANGLES!!! THATS EXACTLY HOW I WOULD LOOK IN GAMES#play paper mario the thousand year door and watch them turn. thats what i do#or like games where the png follows the player. also that#rhfhhdhrhfh Doggy#ruff! rufruff!#freak tag
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I'd like yalls help w something, please
Regardless of its intelligence level, how many non-human creatures have Arthur and John had an emotionally positive experience with?bc I am wracking my brain and the only ones I can come up with are the lamp-eft, the buopoth, the cana, and the owl (I have yet to figure out if cana is a species or a job title but yall know who I'm talking about)
If anyone can fact-check/correct/update me on this I'd appreciate it so much 🙏
#thinking of my artistic interpretation of john & trying to come up w a sort of shapeshifter-form index as a visual cue system for his moods#so like for example when he's super focused on leading or guiding arthur somewhere I'd draw him as a little lamp-eft flitting around#or when he's pondering something specifically related to his past as hastur he'd slightly resemble a peacock#(but only slightly bc while he's seen peacock imagery and is very aware of the symbolism n stuff hes. never actually seen a real peacock b4#when hes feeling threatened or uneasy because of something Arthur is doing specifically his humanoid default form gets ram horns and eyes#bc of ep 26 :)#and how that ties into the pits :)#stuff like that#any tios tricks or suggestions? id love to hear yalls thoughts <3#i ahould clarify this would be for a hypothetical post-season 5 au#john does *not* have his own body or visual a defined form other people can see; itd just be cool visual cues for readers bc in my head its#a series of comic pages#uhhh ok how do i tag this#malevolent#malevolent podcast#malevpod#arthur lester#john doe malevolent#idk what else to put fuck it we ball#lucifanbabbles#zizistuff
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adhd comix
#man i dont even have the energy to be mad. im just tired#like. dont u love it when your parents exhibit symptoms of ADHD and your sibling is diagnosed with a learning disability#and instead of thinking oh shit what if the other one has smth too. they subject you to The Horrors#i cant bring myself to hate my parents. but im tired of feeling obligated to defend them when the thing they think is working#isnt actually working and ive just found other ways to cope to avoid any sort of conflict. like lying and stealing. lol#if someone took me aside and said 'hey so your brain doesnt make as much dopamine as usual and its not a bad thing it just means you#need external stimulation and reward system to function and youre not actually secretly fucked up or lazy' as a kid#im pretty sure i wouldnt be here rn with half the problems i already have. unfortunately getting diagnosed late means u dont have a teacher#to back you up at a parent teacher conference that forces your parents to take this shit seriously instead of ignoring it hoping itll#go away on its own. but hey what do i know i have squirrel ipad baby disease. what do i know about my own symptoms#AND. AND i think im allowd to be mad bc ive been doing my own research on this for years before and after diagnosis#theyve been putting me thru the WORST parenting techniques on earth. which they could have corrected at anytime but they were#comfortable thinking they were doing it right and didnt bother to check if they were or werent fucking up their kid in the long run#and refusing to acknowledge it. i just!! they just decided one day hey lets make babies!! and just looked at books on how to make#a human being survive as long as possible!!! what the fuck!!!!#im sorry for putting this on ppls dashes but i am. so tired. of bottling this up. and im not looking for sympathy or anything i just need#to scream and clench my fists to SOMEONE about it because theyre not gonna take this well up the ass. sigh#yapping#vent
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new wip wednesday
i wanted to get the first chapter of this done as an early bday present to me because ive been talking about this fic for foreverrrrr but its not gonna happen because im bad at measuring time and effort 😮💨 but look! hunger games au fic!
Anakin pushes his face into his neck, letting his lips press against his pulse for a moment.
“Anakin,” Obi-Wan murmurs, recognition and warning rolled into one tone.
But Anakin wouldn’t be who he is if he allowed the man in his arms to so easily twist away. He wouldn’t even be here now, pressed up against him with the scent of saltwater and lilacs and leather filling his nose, if he let one warning word distract him from his goal.
So instead he pushes further, wraps his hands around Obi-Wan’s hips and takes the skin beneath his lips between his teeth. The soft fabric of their pants brush together, so loud in the stillness of the kitchen that it’s deafening—that it’s almost loud enough to drown out the catch in Obi-Wan’s breathing.
But Anakin has trained himself over the past five years to listen for all the small ways that Obi-Wan Kenobi capitulates, so he hears his sigh, feels the slump of his shoulders against his own as his head sways forward and then back.
Anakin takes his time worrying a bitemark into his neck, just at the edge of his beard. On the holos that will film Obi-Wan’s face today, it’ll look like a shadow.
But Anakin will know. Obi-Wan will know.
“Anakin,” his lover murmurs, and Anakin’s hand moves from his waist up to stroke down his arm, corded with tense muscle. Fisherman’s muscle. Victor’s muscle too.
Not today, he means. It’s obvious in every line of his body. It’s obvious in the fact that he left the bed so early in the morning when neither of them must work. It’s obvious in the distance in his eyes, the frown across his lips.
Today is not a day where Obi-Wan will accept pleasure from anyone’s lips or hands, undeserving as he feels to be on the receiving end of such a kindness.
Anakin’s left hand falls to cover Obi-Wan’s, tangling their fingers together. His are rougher than Obi-Wan’s, working man’s hands now that he is twenty-one and a man of the sea like most are on Stewjon. The rough drag of his calluses over the hairy knuckles of Obi-Wan’s hand makes Anakin swallow a smile. Victors of the Hunger Games are forbidden from working laborious jobs. They’re meant to languish away in their Coruscanti-funded manors, with idle minds and idle hands, picking at paints or design stencils or any number of different government approved hobbies
Obi-Wan Kenobi is not made to be idle. He has no patience for painting or sewing, for cooking or jewelry design. Luckily for him, Stewjon is the fourth planet from Coruscant, on the edge of the inner rim, and it’s rather small, rather ordinary. In the colder months, during the few months of the star year where the galaxy is not forced to care about the Hunger Games and its Victors, he can slip away to the ocean. Fish and sail like he was born to do, Stewjoni through and through.
But Anakin is out on those choppy seas year-round now that he’s four years finished with his compulsory education. His hands are rougher than Obi-Wan’s and they always will be.
Anakin likes it. Likes the way Obi-Wan’s softness contrasts against his own rougher places. Likes that he can sneak away from Obi-Wan’s manor in the blue of the pre-dawn light, first to the sea and then to the market, and Obi-Wan will be there when he gets back. Likes that when he leaves, his lover is curled up asleep in their bed. And when he returns with the fattest fish from his haul, Anakin can cook it for him too.
He likes that he is the only thing Obi-Wan needs. He provides. He cooks for him. He feeds him. He touches him with his rough hands, to dirty him and then to clean him up. Everything that Obi-Wan needs, Anakin is the person to give it to him.
He supposes he has Coruscant to thank for that.
He’s not stupid enough to say that—ever, but especially today. Especially on the day of the Reaping.
#wip wednesday#obikin#hunger games au#so like its gonna be set in the gffa slightly#so each district from the book is a either planet or planetary system#and coruscant is of course the capitol#anakin and obi-wan live in district 4 aka stewjon#im having a lot of fun examining their relationship#my bday is on saturday i just think this first chapter is going to be so long#because it covers from them waking up to anakin's reaping#which includes anakin talking in the market with other people on stewjon#because we love an outsiders implied pov on obikin and anakin specifically#and then also obi-wan's own reaping#cause i figure more than one person has won the hunger games in the past 50 years or whatever#so they must do some sort of drawing for the mentor too#its usually obi-wan tho#bad luck or capitol favoritism#or obi-wan volunteering even though he hates it because one of the other victors just had a baby or has small kids#or is too old#or something#anyway this is not a start wednesday done by saturday sorta project lol#im too passionate about these batshit insane characters
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wizard lady and interior design
#my art#my ocs#godhole#gwendoly#godqueen warlord who is making her own soldiers out of spare parts of other godemperors' soldiers#her staff is alive and its made out of the spinal cord and nervous system of some sort of angel#its not really technically conscious anymore but that guy loved her and it still loves her#its a pretty normal situation
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So this is a casual look to the inside of my head at all times. I had to do a role call 3 times to figure out who wanted to be where because they were all picky. You get a virtual cookie if you can name all of my nicknames for these guys. Maybe an art. Depends!
#NOTE. THIS ISNT ACTUALLY FOR ALL SYSTEMS. ITS LITERALLY JUST MINE. DONT COME AT ME FOR THIS.#every one of my alters is one that comes from a fucking video game lmao#i have nothing but introjects in this head#and while for the most part they're all sort of chilling on their own#they do like to look over my shoulder and comment on whats going on#most of these are usually inactive/sleeping#except Ardent#who has almost always been there#they've been my favorite#and went undeveloped for a while but still were a rock for me in my worst moments#mental health#dissociative identity disorder#nervously putting my brain on the table in the hopes of drumming up positivity for those undiagnosed like me#who KNOW they have it but cant or dont want to be diagnosed#idk. hopefully i dont get run off for this silly meme i made about my experiences with it.
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wip! this time with more 100% more aabria
#i still havent decided what style to do this in#either a more traditional regency style or one of my own mixed media styles#we shall seeeeeee#for my own tag system sorting#a court of fey and flowers#wip#my art
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#i believe that no abuse survivor ever did anything to justify or deserve the abuse#and unfortunately in my heart of hearts im the only exception to this rule#and yes im aware MANY other survivors feel exactly this way#but when the abuse is systemic you get told A LOT that you deserve it or it's for your own good#and that worms its way in and i HATE that it does#so i constantly have this desire to ask for reassurance that i didnt deserve it#and it was that bad#and im not making it up#but also i KNOW it's that bad of course#and for that reason i cant really share it with most people because it is Upsetting#so i sort of just sit on it#abuse cw#ptsd
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Anyone else have near-perfect executive function at work; but at home, have literally no energy or motivation to do anything except lie in a dark room, with something in or on your ears for several hours?
#It’s got to be the schedule keeping me on task at work#I love microdosing strict routines (not having an actual routine for the day; but having routines for small tasks#which piss me off if I can’t carry them out precisely the way I planned)#For instance: If I’m asked to paperclip a bunch of stuff together with multicolored paperclips of various sizes#I cannot just indiscriminately pick paperclips from the container because that is WRONG and ILLEGAL#The colors must fit the theme of the assignments; and the colors must alternate in a specific order#and the paperclips must all be the same size#If I’m asked to dump out and clean containers of writing utensils I am going to sort them by type and color#whether you like it or not#Black permanent markers have their own container in a different section from the blue permanent markers#Dry-erase markers are not to be mixed with permanent markers because they are easily confused and it is WRONG and ILLEGAL#Do not fuck with the system. It’s the only organizational skill I have and by fucking GOD I’m going to use it in EXCESS#I stuff and fill out envelopes the exact same way every time because if I do it any other way it is WRONG and ILLEGAL#The stamp always goes on last to minimize monetary waste if there is a mistake#Now you’d think my room is squeaky clean and organized because of how particular I am about these small tasks#Right? Right?#NO IT IS NOT. It looks like a bomb went off. Cleaning the room is a big task which cannot be accomplished within two hours#therefore I have discarded it as anything I need a routine for because it would take too long to come up with#and it is very hard for me to do things like that without instructions or a sense of consistency#So I simply don’t#“After five years the dust doesn’t get any worse” correct; but the mold certainly does#I am convinced half my problems with organization as a kid would have been solved if I just had a hamper#“We have a clothes chute; you don’t need a hamper” Maybe you don’t but I DO#I want one now; but I’m going to use it as incentive to get an apartment#because that’s another thing I need to smuggle and I have too much already
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#thank you for submitting!!#submission#fic:#Opening Up So Long As It's You#author:#akitoscheesecake#project sekai#tenma tsukasa#kamishiro rui#project sekai colorful stage!#ops captions:#forgot to put this in the last one sorry for submitting two things separately </3#<- no worries i actually prefer when people submit things separately so i have more to post so thank you!!!#also for your convenience i have sorted out the tags with the characters in the fic the media and the fic title + author#as best as i could with my awful memory instantly forgetting your tagging system whoopsies :3#god i love this game and this fic and *explodes*#<- thank you so much!! so sorry for my tagging system ik it’s kinda weird my friend said so himself it’s literally just there for my own#convenience so don’t even worry i’m happy you tried to include it and did it perfectly!!#also i love the way you talk it makes me so happy btw
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I have finally emptied the blue bench of all the library books I need to hand back, even though they were terribly photogenic in there, and instead have filled it with all the old children's books I've been keeping around for like fifteen years or more, even though the chances of me ever having children or even passing them on to nieces/nephews/cousins etc is vanishingly small. These are less photogenic but at least it's one way to start clearing the living room of boxes.
Currently strategising how to fit them all in but also wow this is a list of Problematic Children's Authors TM
#I mean#They're all dead and they were probably considered Problematic long before I read them as a kid and I turned out sort of ok-ish#But honestly not a great look and very much proponents of a particular early to mid twentieth century upper class moral system#On the other hand#I do fully believe that the PTSD-addled disaster teenager in a Sopwith Camel that is James Bigglesworth is appropriate reading for kids#The shelf goes 'Snotty boarding school stories; saccharine animal stories; now let's introduce the children to the concept of WW1#Shellshock and alcoholism time for the little ones; on the other hand the racist elements in quite a few of them are going to need reviewin#Not sure the 1970s approach- which was essentially to revere the same authors but delete the racist and sexist language- actually worked#Because it took out the worst words but it didn't actually do anything about the fundamental attitudes of the books#Maybe we should have asked WHY we revere a certain type of children's literature from a certain (colonial; stiff upper-lip; heroic) era#Rather than simply deleting a word here and there and repackaging them as essentially ok for the next generation#Eh#As I say I turned out fine and I think if handled properly it can teach children how to read critically#But if in some miraculous turn of events there ever Real Children in this house that shelf is going to need diversifying#I just can't seem to bring myself to throw them out yet; I know I'm not likely to ever have children so not sure why I keep them really#But I used to think I'd have them for my own kids and that's a hard idea to let go of#And not something I'm willing to unpack right now#On the other hand 'The Adventures of Robin Hood' has to stay even though the spine is falling off#It has been a favourite of two generations because we all love Robin Hood and also Marion is allowed to be kick-ass for thirty seconds#And that tiny scene got me through half my childhood#Earth and stone
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sorry to log on n rant but i need to rant
#tbd.#ooc.#cw complaining#ignore the tags if u dont want to see how my life is going shdfhsf#so im doing my masters yeah#and im like. 75% thru#shouldve been done last month#but bc of the year ive had my uni adviser was rlly nice and sorted a way to extend my student status for another year#to get my dissertation done#like i did my 4 essays n now its just dissertation time#n i was supposed to start it now n get booked in with my mentor n stuff but i cant fucking log into the website#bc u need a MFA#and the MFA app my uni uses wont acknowledge me bc i have a different phone bc my phone broke#and a different number bc my phone contract got cut off#so idk what to do lol i cant log in and do anything#ive rang the IT desk for help 59w9er3424234 times#and everytime i get thru to the actual line n im taken off hold .. they hang up on me#idk if its a system error or my phone bc its a shit old one#but i cant do anything#and my universal credit claim got closed#non uk oomfs its a benefits system#n they help u with money to pay bills whether ur looking for work or unfit to work which is what my doctor said i am bc#my mental health and physical health combines to make me a super loser#n he thinks i might try to K word myself if i take too much on at once after eveerything#like i cant even sit and grieve my dad that died not even 6 months ago yet because i have to much shit to fucking do#like i cant afford to liven now#i cant pay my bills. they keep bouncing and coming back worse#i have debt collectors coming @ me#i am stuck in catch 22 man like not even my support workers can help me rn#and im very lucky that i own my own home bc of my car accident when i was 15 lol but everyone is just telling me to sell it
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