#and for how much it's just personal anecdotes

[semipreciousgemstonejade]

About the letters...

There's particular parts that are affecting me way more than they should...

Firstly, the calligraphy is just so pleasant to observe. I enjoy looking at the way all of them are written and find it fascinating that the ones that are most difficult to read use a style that requires highly specialised training to execute.

The masterful strokes in each letter befittingly showcase their personalities.

What are your favourite parts? With or without the literal translation.

I would love to see an expert with no affiliation to Love and Deepspace nor with any knowledge of the game, give their interpretation of each letter.

I also forgot to thank the people that shared the letters for the global community to get to see them and others that contributed to the literal translation. Thank you!

And before you ask, regarding After reading his letter a million times..., yes, I am that dramatic.

Sylus

"I tried to find the reason why i accidentally fell so deeply, but realised that even if i did find the answer, it wouldn't mean anything- because that person is you." - Sylus

My thoughts...

I am captivated by the way he suggests with such an unfiltered honesty that he never intended to fall in love so deeply, that it was purely accidental, and by the time he realised what was happening it didn't even matter to him anymore. He stopped trying to figure it all out and just accepted it. For a man who is always 10 steps ahead, to be any number of steps behind in any situation must be quite frustrating. Maybe even quite frightening. Of course, not when it comes to her.

After reading his letter a million times...

I'd be outside his house banging on the door and holding his letter asking him if he meant every word he wrote. I'd want him to read his words to me aloud. Every word of every carefully crafted line. He's so poetically romantic, he'd likely be able to recite it from memory. I'd be ready to risk everything without hesitation to show him just how right he is about how alike we truly are.

Zayne

"For the first time, i want to thank those maybes and those accidents. Thank you for existing. Thank you for all the choices you made before we met, which led me to meet you, at the perfect minute, that perfect sound, which i can't imagine could be even more flawless." - Zayne

My thoughts...

His mind is sharp and his hands are precise and confident. He is well aware of the potentially harmful consequences if he even so much as slightly hesitates in his profession. His work is his life, so it makes sense that this notion would permeate his personal life. For him to entertain the idea of 'maybe' after an accidental encounter, has opened his mind to possibility that not all accidents carry the same type of risk. Not only is the other person's happiness in his hands, but his in now in theirs and whilst that can be scary, it comes with many wonderful consequences that positively impact his life.

After reading his letter a million times...

I would make sure he's home and call him on the phone whilst I'm outside his front door. When he opens the door asking why i didn't just let myself in, I'd tell him that it is only fair that the person who has dedicated his very existence to protecting my heart should be the rightful owner. I'd thank him for existing, because I likely wouldn't exist without him.

Xavier

"Before i met you, i was used to walking along a road alone without hesitation, and with very little expectations for anything else. But now i definitely hope, the end of the path i choose will always be connected to yours." - Xavier

My thoughts...

I adore this more because they passed notes to each other in class in his anecdote, When Shooting Stars Fall. Back then, she made the first move and saw right through every shield and barrier. Since then, the former lonely Crown Prince, still meticulous with his words, is more open and less guarded. Whenever he tries to walk alone at night or sleep outside, she offers him companionship or tells him to stay with her.

After reading his letter a million times...

In the early hours of the morning I would go up to his apartment, let myself in and crawl into his arms. When he asks what's wrong, I'd tell him that I missed him and that i never get tired of hearing the person i love most in this world telling me they miss me. But what I'd need him to be aware of the most is that he is also my way of life and that i will thank him everyday for finding every version of me in every lifetime so that i get to fall in love with him over and over.

Rafayel

"Whether I'm painting, soaking in a bath, or sleeping, i have to carve out a space in my mind that's only yours; otherwise, before long, my mind will be completely taken over by your 101 types of cuteness." - Rafayel

My thoughts...

I love when a person who makes everyone laugh feels safe and comfortable to let their walls down and share their serious side with you. She occupies his every thought to the point that he simply must create a special area in his mind where she can exist separately so that he can function.

After reading his letter a million times...

I would meet him at the beach during morning's twilight. I'd be standing and waiting in the shallow part of the water. When he sees me, I'd call his name and tell him to come to me with my hand stretched out towards him. When he puts his hand in mine and asks what's going on, I'd tell him that I'm glad that whenever my heart calls his name, he'll always be by my side. That he can trust me to protect him when he's at his weakest. That I'm not afraid of what he'll become.

[songofwizardry]

it’s strike evening! tomorrow teachers in england and wales start on a series of discontinuous strike days, over teacher pay and funding.

i have had this long post of anecodates the state of state education right now sitting in my drafts for months. but i think it’s a good time to share it. there are no graphs or national statistics—you can get those from the neu, and if you’re reading this you probably know them already. but i think it’s worth sharing the personal side of why we’re striking as well. this is very disconnected, and rambly, and frustrated, but here goes:

i’m a physics graduate. i trained to teach at one of the largest ITT providers in the country a few years ago. there were about 25-30 physics trainees in this batch

at least ten have already left the profession, or left the country to teach elsewhere. this is not including people who left state education to teach in independent schools, or people who dropped out during the training year

i trot this statistic out a lot, because it’s shocking—this year, we have recruited one physics teacher for every eight state schools in england. that’s just trainees recruited. several of them will drop out during the training. even more will leave during their induction period (25% of new teachers leave within two years). it gets worse every year

over the last two years, i have watched my school (a comprehensive secondary) try to replace, or find long-term supply, for several staff—maths teachers, science teachers, MFL teachers, technicians, pastoral staff, etc. pretty much every time, it’s taken at least 3 months to find a long-term replacement. the ‘revolving door of supply staff’ is very true, and supply staff are also hard to find

nationally, schools are ridiculously tight on money. this hits the poorest areas and kids worse—we push up every class to 32 students because that means more money for the school, we turn what were previously free trips into paid ones because schools can’t afford to cover the costs, we turn off the heating at 4pm, we cut TAs and extra-curriculars and sports and equipment budgets. this is a funding crisis as well as a staff pay crisis. a non-funded pay rise is useless

these are not hypotheticals btw—they have happened and are happening in my school and in schools near me. we are cutting trips, clubs, TAs, mentoring support, you name it. if it can be cut it will be.

the easiest way to cut costs is by cutting down on staff. so all our timetables are as full as it is legally possible to be. there is no breathing room. one class can be shared by multiple staff to make this timetable mess work. staff are stretched to their limit, and if someone falls sick long term, there’s no staff free to cover and – see above – we cannot recruit! so we return to a revolving door of supply staff (whom we also can’t get)

the cuts to additional support affect kids with SEND needs, emotional needs, kids who are having a hard time, etc the most. i cannot tell you the number of kids i have who need a TA or a mentor and don’t get one, need counselling, need a reader, need a scribe, need 1-to-1 EAL support, etc..... it goes on

and at the same time social services across the board have been slashed after years of tory austerity. camhs is a mess, the nhs has no money, youth services are gone, libraries and community centres are shut—we are trying to fill a gaping hole, with no goddamn money

and on the note of staff pay—support staff especially don’t get paid enough, but across the board, I’m hearing of colleagues using food banks, not being able to afford heating or feeding themselves or children, struggling to make rent, etc. especially for early career teachers, it’s not enough. I know of plenty of colleagues who took on additional responsibility way earlier than they wanted or were ready for, because it means extra pay, and the standard salary isn’t enough to live on.

couple that with the fact that in a subject like maths or science, there are plenty of entry-level jobs that pay much better, and it’s no surprise people aren’t coming into the profession.

i care deeply for my students. i want the best for them. they deserve teachers who are not overworked, exhausted, and bitter. they deserve subject specialists, not four months of rotating supply teaching their GCSE chemistry class. they deserve staff who feel valued, and thus stick around long enough that they can build relationships with them. they deserve enough lab equipment, textbooks, glue sticks. they deserve extra curriculars and trips they don’t have to pay for, that aren’t funded out of whatever I can spare from my own tight budget that month. they deserve dedicated TA support where they need it, again, with TAs who are valued and have time to build connections with them and support them.

and i am also tired, and i care deeply for my colleagues. we all deserve better.

so i am striking tomorrow, for my students, and my colleagues, and myself, because i deeply love this profession and it deserves so much better than a government that clearly doesn’t value educators or education. if you can, join us on the picket line at your local school, or at a march! there’s a strike map in the notes.

[solardrink]

3.5 spoiler !

I CANNOT stop laughing the fact that kaeya as a little kid SHIPPED himself back to where he thought khaenri’ah was because he read it in a book 😭😭😭he’s so SILLY imagine this tiny malnourished kid with fancy clothes on ur fuckin ship carrying goods across the sea with the most determined little face and then his adoptive dad goes ALL the way to sumeru to pick his ass up and drag him back to mond 😭 this was the route they had to take

[saintetheldreda]

you know how wendell gets all flustered and startled into silence after em finally fully kisses him. obviously thats cause hes in love but also i like to think its because i bet she must have looked SO beautiful right before she kissed him. she thanks him for the boots he made her with the messiest grin on her face that looks like "yes fuck yes this is something i can USE to get out of this place!" and its the opposite of a charming smile, its excited, but its the most beautiful one he has never seen because wendell has never felt like something useful before, has never known what it feels like to be used by someone he loves, because growing up in faerie land he has only ever been there just to look pretty and kingly, like the sort of whimsical spectacle that everyone irl expects fairytales and fantasy and faerie stuff to be

because like after all its her unyielding belief that the beauty of nature and the forests is animated, has sentience, contains rich inner life and minds, looks pretty only through precise deliberation and choices that MEAN something that is her calling as a folklorist. and of course outside of the novel is the same reason why anyone developed folklore in the first place. that same instinctual reaction to the beauty and the mysteries of nature that says it should be personified and interacted with as a person

so she thinks shes shitty with people cause shes bad at talking to them but all this time she was teaching herself how to love instead of how to talk

emily wilde being a book about a girl who wins and gets the guy by caring immensely about the kind of thing no one irl takes seriously or finds cool (fairies) is a major win for folk culture and im not emotional about it at all

[skitskatdacat63]

Painting 🖼

[anotherpapercut]

hi more drug question

I have been told many many times that using ecstasy will basically fry your seratonin receptors so that you will never be able to feel happy again unless you are using the drug. I am assuming now that this is false but I am curious now as to how false. Is it something that CAN happen if you take too much at once or too often, or is this just random Drug Scary misinformation

Also also since wellbutrin is not an SSRI does LSD work when you are on it or does it also cancel it out

lol that's kind of an extreme version of what I usually hear! you're right that basically the answer here is no. this comes from a couple different things. first is MDMA induced serotonin toxicity, and 2nd is something called "serotonin syndrome" which is a real thing that can happen, but it's really really hard to get like this. prepare for a very long answer lmfaooo

MDMA induced serotonin toxicity occurs when you take too high doses too frequently. MDMA IS slightly neurotoxic, but so are many prescription drugs so don't let that word freak you out too much! basically MDMA works by dumping large amounts of serotonin into your brain, hence why it's the happy/love drug lol. if you take too much too often, your brain will straight up run out of serotonin. obviously that's bad! it's not as simple as "never feeling happy again" but you will essentially have depression for a bit because of lack of serotonin (on its own, low serotonin levels following modest MDMA use is not damaging and resolves within a few days) but the real problem is that if you are on MDMA with depleted serotonin, your brain will continue releasing dopamine which will attach to the serotonin receptors and damage them. this is what can cause long term depression symptoms, the damaged serotonin receptors. ultimately your brain will heal this on its own unless for some reason I guess you keep taking it a lot (which would have no effect. when you take too much MDMA your brain just runs out of serotonin to dump so like. it just won't work lol)?? it can also be treated with the supplement NAC, which I would recommend taking any time you use MDMA because of this!

to sum up MDMA toxicity: it can happen but only if you're misusing it! it's generally recommended that you dont do much more than 1 dose every 3 months or so to make sure your brain has time to reset. research interactions with anything else you're using (prescription or not), take some NAC in the weeks following a dose, drink a lot of water, keep your body temperature regular because that can worsen it, and take some antioxidants like alpha lipoic acid and grape seed oil during/immediately after taking MDMA - it's when you come down that your brain is delicate and could use the protection. also this may sound counterintuitive but weed also has antioxidant properties, so smoking it as you come down helps a lot. also if you DO have MDMA toxicity taking more MDMA will not help u feel happy unfortunately it will just make it worse lol, your brain only has so much serotonin to give

now serotonin syndrome can happen with the misuse of any drug that works on serotonin including MAOIs, SSRIs, and SNRIs, usually by taking a VERY large dose (but some people are just extremely sensitive). it usually takes care of itself eventually, but the amount of time it takes and stuff is kinda hard to pin down bc it's REALLY misunderstood and tends to be overly self diagnosed. again this is like super super hard to do. you would have to take a MASSIVE dose or mix it with other serotonin affecting drugs (ESPECIALLY MAOIs. DO NOT MIX MDMA WITH MAOI ANTI DEPRESSANTS). like 5 times the normal dose at least probably (partner is currently trying to find some literature on it so he'll add that in the replies if he finds anything interesting). it will cause things like heightened anxiety and body temperature and can cause kidney problems or seizures if it's like really bad and untreated. but you'd feel REALLY bad before it got to that point, so in general like, if you take any type of drug and feel extremely bad after go to the doctor lol. mostly this will also just heal itself; your brain is pretty resilient! again usually if this does happen it's very minor. cases bad enough to require hospitalization are exceedingly rare

to give you an example of what these can look like, I have a friend who was given about 3-4 times a regular dose by a fucking piece of shit asshole she knows and, this part is crucial, it was mixed with a very large amount of alcohol AND acid (which can slightly increase the neurotoxicity. normally not a huge issue but becomes one in circumstances like this), AND coke; like she was blackout drunk and while not on a lot of acid or coke, this is just too many things to have in your body and brain at one time. the mixture of such a large amount different drugs caused her what I'm guessing was a mild case of both of these things at once. she experienced slightly worsened depression for about 6 months after, and actually had a mild stutter for almost a year. I made sure she took some NAC and other things that aid brain healing, and she didn't try molly again for a long time to be super sure she didn't overload her brain before it was ready. this is a pretty extreme case, and even with that she has fully recovered thankfully. do NOT EVER do drugs with someone you don't trust with your life. DO NOT EVER do drugs in doses you have not confirmed for yourself to be safe and DO NOT EVER mix drugs without finding out if it's safe!!! just as a small aside though: usually taking molly and acid at the same time is perfectly safe. in fact it's called a candy flip and I HIGHLY recommend it because it's fucking awesome. again, just make sure you are taking safe doses in a safe environment

OKAY now finally your specific question about Wellbutrin: I actually take Wellbutrin so I can answer this one from personal experience! Wellbutrin should not alter the effects of LSD in any way HOWEVER! both of these drugs lower your seizure threshold! I'm on the max dose of Wellbutrin (which is the max dose BECAUSE of seizure risk) so when I plan to drop acid I usually either skip my dose entirely that day or only take half depending on how much acid I'm planning to take. because of the way Wellbutrin works, this shouldn't cause you any problems as far as that goes. for me, not taking my Wellbutrin for a day mainly has the effect of making me more fatigued, and acid counteracts that really well by making me feel very awake/aware. if you don't want to skip or halve your dose though you can also take things that will RAISE your seizure threshold. so like I sometimes will smoke hemp because CBD actually will help with that. the risk here isn't huge either way especially if you have no history of seizures, but again if it's something you're concerned about you should be just fine skipping or lowering your dose for the day. acid usually lasts about 12 hours too so i personally don't even care about skipping the Wellbutrin that much because it basically does the same thing for me. I did take my full Wellbutrin dose the last couple times I've done acid though because I was taking a very small amount of acid (about half a tab)

in summation lol sort of TLDR I generally would recommend MDMA for recreational use because the risks of damage are low and it's safe if you are safe about it. and it's honestly just a really fun one! the only negative effect I've ever felt is some emotional and physical fatigue the following day, and this is largely because of how emotional and energetic you are on it. I just make sure to have the next day off to lay around and listen to music :)

taking it with a partner or loved one will give you an especially beautiful experience, as MDMA has been proven to facilitate extremely open emotional conversations. in fact, when MDMA was first synthesized it's primary use was in psychotherapy! research was shut down during the war on drugs, but in recent studies it's demonstrated amazing abilities to treat and even straight up CURE disorders like PTSD. for a personal anecdote, my partner actually completely fucking cured his alcoholism on a combo of MDMA and whippets (nitrous oxide) lmfao. like dude straight up went from getting black out drunk multiple nights a week to drinking nothing for the past year and a half without any other treatment program. LSD has been proven to have similar incredible results with treating and curing things like depression, anxiety, PTSD and addiction and is also a very fun and very safe one.

sorry to reiterate for the billionth time lol but it's important: these drugs are safe and fun if you make sure they're safe and fun! do your research and never use in an unfamiliar environment with people you wouldn't trust in an emergency! also I know this sounds like a lot, but remember I'm giving you like the absolute safest possible practices and emphasizing sort of over cautiousness because I think it's always better to be too safe. I've taken molly without nac and I've taken kinda big doses a little closer together than I should have without any problems. there's a bit of flexibility to these guidelines, but it's always better to think of them as being rigid so you don't end up too far in the other direction. like I've said it's really really hard to do actual damage that would last more than like a day or 2 max. most of the time you'll just be sleepy the next day from all the dancing so it's nice to do it on a day 1 of a weekend. also it only lasts like a couple of hours lol so it's not your whole day or anything!

[themidnightcircusshow]

Every new thing I learn about James Somerton's process just drives home how he almost (but really doesn't) knows what he's doing. Yes, of course you use the sources you read as a jumping off point. Of course you copy and paste the important sections into your outline document so you can reread them. That's why you put them in quotation marks.

[finelinens1994]

i'm really grateful that catlyn and brookeab streamed and gave their perspectives as people who are in that sphere and, in catlyn's case, are friends with the dteam. watching their vods was so good even if it was really hard emotionally, like it's just nice to see women bringing these difficult conversations to their audiences and trying to have a positive impact

[a-little-podcast-blog]

NUMBER ONE ON TRENDING WE ARE SO BACK, BABY���️‼️

[hmsmilkbone]

honestly. I don't really have a lot of interest in jjk anymore, which is super frustrating as the story foundation is really interesting. I have my favorite characters, and I'm not really interested in reading beyond this point.

As a whole, I'm not a huge fan of dropping stories just because they don't go the way you want. In general I personally try not to do this, but stories where the author clearly hates the material or the audience so much they're willing to destroy the story to do so are not enjoyable. I really don't think gege even really likes writing jjk anymore.

There may be some change that I hear about months from now where something worked out one way or the other, but in general I feel like this story is not going to resolve in a way that feels like reading it was a worthwhile experience. And like, for good OR bad. Not every story has a happy ending, but this is really not particularly interesting and I don't feel the need to continue a story where the writer isn't even interested in what happens or how it advances anything outside of their personal pettiness. Feels very much like grr Martin. All the meaningless death and abuse without any real redeeming qualities.

I'm trying to remind myself that not every author wants to be a storyteller. Not every story is good. It's ok to read stories that aren't the best simply because you want to see where it goes, but gege isn't superior in some way, and i dont 'trust that he's cooking'. Even if the story turns around in an interesting or strategic way, I really am not particularly impressed. Ordinarily I would stay along for the ride, but I can't bring myself to care about something even the author doesn't care about. :/

[etoilesbienne]

i wouldn't say comparing view numbers is taboo? i guess it's just something that's Not done about much and i can obviously see why someone wouldn't want to LOL—but if it isn't in any mean spirited context i don't personally see it as a problem!

TRUE BTW about how sometimes people will have tens of thousands of viewers. on separate streams at the same time 💀 didn't mariana have like 56,000 Viewers (WHAT RHE HELL!!) during the trial at the same time everyone else had like 10k+. qsmp sweep?

YWAH IT WAS INSANE. like from charlies pov i think he had maybe ~15k or so. mariana has had 40-50k views every time ive watched him stream minecraft point blank and like 25-30k everything else. That is fucking insane in terms of numbers. what really got me was the trial and not only did mariana have 50k viewers q had like 40k and roier had like 25-30k? somewhere around in there for those three. and then all of the english streamers were like 2-15k (fit being lowest and charlie being highest) THE DIFFERENCE IS SO STAGGERING TO ME ITS SHOCKING

[skhardwarevers1]

sorry for saying I was going to do things and even starting them and then disappearing from this website entirely for three days. It will happen again

[britneyshakespeare]

it is weird being an aromantic asexual who is incidentally attractive. like. i just came back from a concert with my friends who have known me for years and know that about me. some of the very few real-life friends who know that about me actually and i only told them relatively recently. regardless. the only reason i had bothered to bring it up w them is that they had seen me in SO many situations that telling them “i’m asexual” was if anything just clarification. just confirmation, like, don’t worry. it’s not an inability to attach to others or whatever. if you can’t tell. like they’d seen me be pursued by quite a few people in our time as friends and at some point it seems like a curious thing if i only ever seem to feel negatively about anyone who’s attracted to me, ever, no matter who it is. and they were understanding and i knew they’d be. yeah.

we were talking on the way back about bucket list concerts we’d still like to see. we saw stromae which was a really big one of mine (my fucking boy btw, i had an amazing time). i mentioned that i don’t have very many, as i’m rarely the person to be like “yeah, let’s go to a concert” unless i have people i know i wanna go with. like i’ve been meaning to see the jonas brothers w my sister and sisters-in-law ever since they came back because it’d be a fun thing for us since we always listen to them together. 

but i would genuinely love to see super junior someday, like just for myself, wherever whenever if i was just able to get transportation (i don’t drive). i’ve loved suju for years but i got really back into them in 2020 in the pandemic as a sort of nostalgia comfort thing (but also the music they’ve put out in recent years is like, literally the best in their discography, they just keep getting better w age). and i had to go on this tangent to explain it, right?

in the first months of the pandemic, there was something weird happening to people psychologically. some kind of end-of-the-world loneliness. i mentioned that i had like 5 or 6 different people in my DMs at the time interested in me. not all of them men. and the friend who was driving said “you know, diana, if this were literally anyone else talking, i would think that this is some enormous humblebrag—”

and i like. didn’t even think about it that way. i was just trying to make my point that i had a serious thought in 2020 of like, when the world opened back up, just doing one (1) seriously manipulative thing in my life and convince one of those men who was thirsting for me to buy me tickets to super junior and go with me. it was hypothetical. this hasn’t happened and all but certainly will not. i would not feel good taking advantage of someone’s feelings like that. 

but i had to go on a tangent even before that because i was like. oh my goodness. i didn’t even realize that was a humblebrag. i’m sorry. i’m just telling a story.

[annoyingloudmicrowavecultist]

giving a different shout out to the kid in my class who gave a 3 minute speech about how much he hated the monarchy at 12 years old. that was awesome

[contraspem--spero]

Theoretically, how does one get a professor fired

[padfootastic]

Hello,

Please feel free to ignore this ask because it may contain sensitive topic to some people. What's your opinion about trans James ? In most fanon works , both art and fics, it is Sirius who usually is headcanoned as one. I have not seen many works with trans James or him being gender fluid , etc . Do you think it is because the way his character is described in the books , which in all honesty is not much or is it because Sirius had been described as really handsome? It doesn't do anything with handsomeness, I know , but the fandom works strangely like that 🙊

well, hello there, friend! so sorry for getting to this so late.

so, my opinion on this is really just my usual for identity hcs--i personally dont care much for them. that's not to say they're bad (i've seen some beautifully done stuff) just that it hits too close to reality for my escapist ass.

i see where you're coming from with the sirius comparison, tho! i think partly it's also because sirius is just...more popular? james is a pretty niche character, i'd say, even within mwpp compared to the others, so just by virtue of numbers, trans james doesnt get so much attention.

(there's a part of me that also thinks its also bc so much of the queerness in fanfiction comes from. wanting representation rather than caring about writing a queer character. and that means there's no deeper engagement than outward aesthetics. which means no real transgression is taking place. so u have repackaged cishetero norms circulating. but what do i know about that)