#and focused on just making my videos
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Ahhh ok see now this makes sense. So those biased against writers who don't read aren't only mad cause you are insulting the art in itself, they are also mad because they think that means you refuse to support other writers but expect massive support in return. Well personally, even when I was in the community, I was trying to support writers who had stories I liked. I was pushing myself cause their stories were interesting to me AND because i wanted to return the support. I did the support for support thing too in my first run and frankly that gave me a few readers too besides followers, but when I focused more on following stories I actually enjoyed on my second run, I got no new readers. Followers don't necessarily mean people will read your story unfortunately.
But that experiment aside, just liking and reblogging stuff but know nth about your work when they are asked about it shows me most people support back only to return the favor. And this is a big reason I got tired of trying and putting so much energy into this. Cause sure we can talk about our wips all day, but it saddens me when I take my time to remember parts of your story or your chars and you don't remember shit from mine so, at the end of the day, my being tired of trying to read more when I am personally not into reading just in order to belong and people to give a chance to my work doesn't look selfish at all to me.
To this day people still buy books of people they never met or talked to, so I aspire to be this type of author that got readers because they liked my story, not because they knew me in person or because they wished to return the favor for the times I supported them. I want to be judged based on what I write, not whether or not I support someone back enough for them to give me a chance.
#and same applies for vtubing#i actually started getting subs when I stopped trying to make friends in the community#and focused on just making my videos#and that attracted some people who didn't expect sth in return they just liked what i offered#honestly i never become a fan of any type of artist expecting sth in return#so it baffles me when indies in aaany field have to do that now to rise to the top#sure you can say yeah but you were disappointed when most people you supported in the community didn't remember shit from your stuff#well yeah cause if that's how people do stuff in the community i feel like an idiot putting effort and never expecting anything back#instead of focusing on finishing my stuff and check others' work at my leisure#there are many people i followed and still do without caring if they help me back#and that's because i genuinely like their work
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You know that feeling where you have ideas. So many ideas. Too many ideas. And they all would take way too much time that you don't have if you actually wanted to execute them. So you just sit there giving yourself a headache because you cant decide where to start? Love that feeling. And by love, I mean I want to take my brain out of my skull and wring it like a wet sponge.
#and so i sit here making myself mad. today the plant ppl have my ire#which isnt fair bc plants r unappreciated but also like ur study organism couldnt exist as it is without fungi and bacteria. which are WAY#more underappreciated. which isnt the plant ppls fault but also i watched like 10 plant photosynthesis videos yesterday#and not a single one mentioned that plants do photosynthesis bc they consumed a cyanobacteria. they always go: and some bacteria can also do#photosynthesis! and thats it. and im like ??? endosymbiosis is so cool? y would u not mention it??? like plants didnt develop a way to do#photosynthesis. they just captured a photosynthetic organism. the plant bias in photosynthesis is so huge and it makes me irrationally#defensive. its like theyre stealing photosynthesis glory XD they've got photosynthesis clout but only bc they stole it lmao#idk its funny that it makes me so frustrated but it's sorta baffling to me how plant focused plant ppl r when plants rely so much on#bacteria and fungi. i mean i guess thr same could b said for animals. especially those with robust endosymbionts. idk i guess its just bc im#and ecologist and microbe person im baffled when ppl think about organism as one thing rather than a system of things#anyway. im mad bc i have things that i want to write and read and draw plus the things i have to do for school. and im doing none of#those things and its bullshit#unrelated
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I just need a piece of media that combines:
The humor and feeling of community we got from S1 of OFMD
The storytelling, world, and humanity behind Disco Elysium
Izzy Hands just for fun
You know?
#I want an essay on how media handles a protagonist who HAS fucked up and how to have it MATTER- Harrier DuBois vs. Edward Teach#FUCK: you can play the entire game not 'fucking up'. You can quit drinking and doing drugs. But Harry still fucked up#People still KNOW what Harry did before you stepped in. They hold grudges. They're mad. ITS AMAZING#I'm just saying that I want a Disco Elysium that doesn't make me feel EVERY feeling at once.#But as for the post idea itself: the answer is just Izzy-focused fanfic written by the community#I KNOW#I WRITE THEM#but that's not the point. I want my very specific taste in media to be catered to IMMEDIATELY- you know?#ofmd#ofmd season 2#izzy hands#not tagging this as Disco Elysium#BUT I highly recommend looking into it- EVEN JUST A VIDEO ESSAY#ESPECIALLY IF YOU ARE AN IZZY FAN
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recent lounging babey images
#he's so floppy recently and I hope it's just the heat. I think wamr weather makes everyone floppy and loungy#a beauntifulle boye...#cats#STILL working on posting some drafts. finishing new poll adventure.. other things... It's just hard with the weather and other things going#on. I've had a few more doctors appointments and other things to do recently that have to be done in a time limit#so I hvae to use my extremely limited energy working on that instead of doing the things I'd really rather do. :T#Main focuses though are keeping up better with doing and posting costumes + sculptures as main creative things. at least finishing the#main poll adventure story. Reworking the game I kind of abandoned for a few years. keeping up with game videos and a few other side things.#Especially the game though. I've been in a really worldbuildy mood recently. I just wish that was easier to manifest into something. I've#now put the worldbuilding slideshow reading video on pause for a while because it's SOOO long to do#and I think I should prioritize making games and stuff instead. but still other things. IT's just kind of like.. I have a whole world and#everything very built and planned out but now.. what do I do with it? what's the best way to share that? factual slideshows just going over#the information like a dictionary? make it into a game? write short stories? do art attached to the world? etc. etc. ?? There are so many#potential avenues I end up kind of flip flopping between them a lot because none really seem more beneficial than the others and they all#seem equally enjoyable and also equally hard so. It's like?? I guess just do what the hell ever and hope I made the right choice in terms o#cost benefit and reward for my time lol. ANYWAY.. Also why I'm in my 'trying to make friends' era still because I think having other creat#ive friends can help you find direction like.. people will meet each other and then go 'hey lol just for fun lets start a project together!#and then like 5 years later it's genuinely become something. etc. having other people to help weed out ideas and start small creative teams#together and etc. I feel is a very beneficial part of networking or whatever but also I have the social capacity of a stale bread roll and#am also inherently unrelatable to seemingly a majority of people due to my hermit wizard swag (detachment from general society and hyper#focus on fantasy worlds in my head gjhghj) so trying to meet people as a grown adult with social issues is Very easy and fun (it is not)#even very basic things like my core communication style is so incompatible with a lot of people it's like.. hhhh... People in this modern#age have GOT to stop being afraid of phone calls and/or text that is longer than 6 paragraphs. Work with me here. I WANT to talk to you. bu#I do not know what your emojis mean and it's physically impossible for me to type less than 85 sentences. please.. hhjgjgb#AAANYWAY!! I am working on things when I can given the circumstances (SUMMER).. hopefully some costume pictures and stuff soon. :'3#I've not forgotten about my art and etc. - as usual I just am bad at social media and also functioning if it's above 65F lol
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me, stupidly and weirdly resistant to listening to audio books vs reading a physical book for no real reason: man i wish there was a way to like, read a book while i crochet like i do with tv shows and movies and podcasts
#toy txt post#my reasons are irrational you dont need to try to talk me into it. i KNOW#its very silly of me#imagine how much reading i could get done. but alas. Feels Bad#even listening to a more. uh. Story type podcast or fiction like nightvale was a bit difficult to start for me. i like nightvale now i#listened. but i worry that is clocking in my brain as an Exception 😔 maybe it would be easier if i tried some nonfiction books? scary#i also struggle with single host podcasts apparently even tho im also ehhhh on the kind where the structure is the host Interviewing a#different person everytime? maybe it would be okay with a nonfiction audiobook tho cos it would be getting read by a narrator and not sound#so much like a guy ranting into a mic which makes me feel a little insane. altho propaganda doesnt necessarily always sound like a guy#ranting into a mic so idk. i could probably make it through if i can find a nice book about like. parasitic worms. i could tolerate#feeling like im falling into sigma male affirmations videos for worms i think. wormffirmations are allowed#*to clarify i dont listen to those but listening to better offline makes me feel like im morphing into the kinda guy who does and i hate it#which feels unfair cos he is RIGHT and the podcast is good but i need there to be like a cohost there to break the tension of the Ranting#sometimes he has guests on? but its not quite the same#i think the format i like best is either like 2 or 3 regular cohosts discussing things within a specific topic#OR. 1 host whos like infodumping to the other host who knows nothing about the subject. OR. 2 hosts info dumping to each other about#different aspects of the subject. OR. 1 host who brings on fun guests to infodump to them about a subject. and then obviously the subject#needs to intrigue me. ex. sawbones well theres your problem (I HATE THAT THIS ONE IS BEST EXPERIENCED ON YOUTUBE😭 I WANT THEM TO JUST DUMP#ALL THE SLIDES INTO A BIG BLOG POST SOMEWHERE AND I CAN CHECK IN AND FOLLOW ALONG THAT WAY WITHOUT HAVING TO HAVE MY PHONE SCREEN ON THE#WHOLE TIME!!!!!!!!! but. im listening for free so its unreasonable to demand more of them BUT ALSO I FEEL LIKE JUST COPYPASTING ALL OF THE#SLIDES INTO A BIG BLOG POST ISNT THAT MUCH MORE EFFORT THAN EDITING A WHOLE YOUTUBE VIDEO? WAAAAAH. THEY DONT NEED TO BE TIMESTAMPED OR#ANYTHING JUST THROW EM IN ILL FIGURE IT OUTTTTTT#anyway. also more than 3 hosts is really pushing my ability to keep track of voices.#anyway: sawbones wtyp tpwky behind the bastards scam goddess#(which is true crime adjacent but focuses mainly on scams and isnt copaganda and laci is funny and cool)#common descent pod completely arbortrary maintenance phase if books could kill#deep sea podcast has more bringing ppl in to interview them about shit than i personally enjoy but i put up with it cos i do like the hosts#and the subject
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not to out myself on main but Katsuki Bakugo continues to make me fucking insane
#there is a REASON he's in my list of top five fav characters#that boy makes me RABID-#literally hes the only reason ive kept up with the manga. that and ive stuck with it for so long i wanna see how it ends#anyway just finished pacing and ranting and Decimating an apple bc. be cause.#i saw someone go 'wait bakugo is save to win?'#YES! YES! HE HAS ALWAYS BEEN SAVE TO WIN HIS ENTIRE CHARACTER IS SAVE TO WIN#HIS ACTUAL BATTLES HAVE ALWAYS BEEN FOCUSED ON SAVING#I HAVE BEEN SCREECHING THIS AT MY CEILING FOR YEARS HE HAS ALWAYS BEEN SAVE TO WIN!!!!#marking him as Win To Save is a fundamental misunderstanding of his character IM SORRY IT IS. IT IS#he has ALWAYS focused more on saving while izuku goes straight for the enemies' jugular#god. hes just. FINALLY BAKUGO GETS TO SHINE and Everyone gets to see who he really is im feral#the moment i saw him i was fascinated and over the years his character has aged like a FINE fuckin wine#its so rare to find a character with such stellar development. like damn. fuck. hes catnip to me#he started my love of analyzing the fuck out of characters and striving to understand them the best i can#punching a wall and wailing YOU DONT KNOW HIM LIKE I DO#honestly if i ever did a video essay it would be on him. and why he's such a good fucking character#say what you will about bnha but god damn he's phenomenal. horikoshi really went tf off with him#BAKUGO BBY IM SO GLAD YOU'RE BACK ITS BEEN SO LONG <3#absolutely unprompted#i literally. i literally got a bkdk charm keychain#both bc yeah theyre iconic but also i could not resist the bakugo on it. hes too cute#i finally feel excited for the manga and the story again bc MY BOY IS BACK IN THE GAME LETS GOOOOOO#cant wait to see him absolutely slay serve Steal The Spotlight#stg hes gonna save all might AND take down afo while broccoli boy handles McCrusty#lets go bakugoooo LETS FUCKING GOOOOO#WE ARE SO FUCKIGN BACK BABEYYYYYYY#bakugo? no. bakuback!!!#BC HES NO LONGER DEAD ON THE GROUND YEEHAW HAWYEE
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yesterday in vocal synth news
#art#traditional art#fountain pen ink#virvox project#mizusawa takuto#voicevox#ia#cevio#voisona#also miku is there technically kind of. shes down there#sorry im not a piapro or vocaloid user i was more focused on the other things LOL#looks neat tho! im very curious about the kaito and meiko remasters#i was always tempted and curious but im not a huge fan of the weakness of their v3s compared to their v1s#so i hope we get some demo videos or something soon. or if not i hope in a month people post lots of videos LOL#also intrigued by miku nt update and v6 ai. i have no interest personally in using miku but im sure it'll be interesting#gumi and galaco v6 sound pretty good in my humble onion so im very curious#but anyway. back to ME hjkfsjhjrfds im so excited for takutos voice#itll be cute seeing all the little skits the japanese fans make and for me specifically you KNOW im gonna get on that song shit#im gonna make.... the most bizarre boyband on earth. there is some manner of catboy. and a 50 year old man. it'll be great#maybe i'll remake the yume no tobira cover hee hee#and ia.... oh baby ia.... im so happy you have no idea man i have been WAITING FOR THIS. okay please dont kill me for this but like#highkey i dont really care for her original v3 LOL its not bad or anything i just find a lot of v3 fem vocals sound like the same person#and this was painful for me because like im a gigantic lia fan. i dont need it to be a 1 to 1 recreation or anything but like#i was always so bummed out how thin ia's voice sounded. it felt like a bit of a waste how much the v3 noise removed all lia's warmth#and like the depth of her tone. and like it sounds fine. she sounds like a slightly more operatic miku when people tune her high and breath#which is very common and that sounds fine. but like i still felt like auauuuuuuuuhhhhhhh nothing i loved about lia's voice is there#cevio 1.0 was a step up it brought back a LOT of warmth (although you had to really push up the alpha to get the depth)#and while i personally dont hate the cevio 1 noise its nice to have a version that no longer sounds underwater <3#she sounds so rich now.... i still bump up the alpha a bit because i like lia's deeper work a lot LOL but its wonderfullllllllll#so good so so so so good im obsessed. yesterday was truly an Event for vocal synth news
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i want to put link in isat. im sure hed do fine. the heros spirit endures
#my post#i was gonna say like. 'probably not the worst thing the heros spirit has endured.' but actually#man. idk. ppl like to say majoras mask is super dark. i think bc ur constantly faced with tragedy in a very direct way#zelda is usually slightly less in your face abt that stuff. mm crosses the line for that juust enough for it to be Particularly Notable#loz generally isnt afraid to address the Horrors. or at least acknowledge them#i dont mean this in a 'mm is darkest zelda' or whatever kind of way. (see jacob gellers video 'every zelda is the dsrkest zelda')#i mean it as like. mm is just louder about it#yknow. but is mm is speaking loudly then. if u put isat next to loz then it would drown mm out quite easily#in large part bc the story is just told differently#the characters are much more expressive in every way. bc the story is being told through expression#whereas loz tells stories specifically via player action#if that makes sense?#loz focuses on the journey. isat focuses on how the journey feels#not to mention links permanent 😶. which definitely influences this#honestly link as a general character (tho especially botw link) is very similar to siffrin. im not gonna try to put that into words rn but#maybe another time#anyways. if isat were told more like a zelda game i think it would be along mm and botw#i say those 2 specifically bc time loop and death and loss. lol#if the reverse were true. if loz ganes were told more like isat. then god dude i dunno#i might go through the plots of each and measure out how much i think the bitch(link) is Going Through It sometime#not rn. but sometime#initial gut thoughts tho. i think probably oot sksw la andd. possibly ww. wojld have similar emotional impact#sksw especially. have you seen his face when he sees zelda in the crystal thing. god#id say botw too but tbh. i kind of think its emotional impact is best as is.#it leaves itself a lot of room to breathe. you can rlly like. think abt it.#man these tags are off topic from the original post. eh its my post who care
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It's so strange to think back on my pre-mcyt era because I really had no idea what mcyt was. I thought it was all just speed running and pvping, generally just y'know. Boring sweaty gamer stuff. And as such I fully discounted it as something I wouldn't be interested in, as someone who has never cared about sports.
... Then one day I saw the phrase Minecraft Roleplay and some mentions of Characters, and bam! I've been here ever since
#alongside the whole “multiple platonic ships from dsmp making it into the top 100 ao3 ships list” thing#and also having accidentally stumbled across a fansong and been intrigued to see what could compell such an emotional song#and being on vacation then immediately catching covid menaing I couldn't engage with the video game my previous fandom had been focused on#(+ just burn out on that game as I'd been in the fandom for over a year)#just me rambling
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You guys ever become self aware of your raptor hands
#ft my voice#making a little vlog thingy :3#the video will have my face to I was just focused on the outfit at that moment#I had this idea for awhile now#I’m hoping some of yall will find interest in it maybe :]#the videos won’t be super short though so beware#my stuff#vlog
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angry at the oscars barbie nominations but in an annoyinger way (i think nominating ryan reynolds makes sense but the best picture and best supporting actress noms are ridiculous)
#sorry but the more i think about it the more i really dislike the movie#ken was funny! he was silly and campy! i really did not care for the rest of the movie!#i just think the more you examine its take on feminism the more it falls apart!#it's inherently about a product! it's inherently personifying a product and making you feel sympathy for and relate to a product!#they are generating hype and engendering sympathy for something they are trying to sell you!#regurgitating second wave feminism without nuance doesn't make it groundbreaking it makes it like. fine i guess?#verilybitchie has a great video that put a lot of my feelings about it into words#idk it did not resonate with me at all and also made me kind of annoyed with how it contributed to the ongoing trend#of gendering things that aren't gendered and focusing on a segregation of gendered perspectives#tired of i'm just a girl! tired of girl dinner! tired of men are always thinking about the roman empire!#sure there are experiences more common to and relevant to women but i get so uncomfy with those kinds of generalizations#even when they're just jokes because after they get repeated enough they stop sounding like ones#just like. when you try to examine it in terms of any kind of intersectionality it falls apart#and i know it's not that serious but like come on. they literally do not once touch on any kind of intersectionality.#you can't be like 'it's a groundbreaking feminist movie!' because they said 'women struggle with misogyny' in 2023#like i know it's barbie but i don't understand why there's this impulse to say that that's something that's never been said before#just because the president is black doesn't mean you've acknowledged like. racism at all.#just because you have two fat barbies with like four lines doesn't mean you've said anything meaningful about body image#and when you take an openly lesbian actress and give her short hair and make her strange and then have all the other characters#essentially socially exile her and still think she's weird after the resolution!!!#i would say that's like!! implicitly a pretty weird way to write gay people!#i don't want to rain on anyone's parade! it's silly! it's not that serious! i just also think it's not that good!#it's fine! it's fun! but i DO think ken is the best part of the barbie movie and for that i apologize
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man i sure wish i knew how to draw...
<- saying this while drawing and trying to get better at drawing
#i wish i had more time honestly :/#i do tomorrow but...#im also self taught and i KNOW i can watch tutorials but i aslo have a hard time focusing on videos like that??#i don't have a problem focusing on stuff in general it's just those kinds of videos when it comes specifically to art im like#i appreciate any and all artists who make those but there is something in my brain that goes hmm...kinda bored rn :/ when i have to sit#and watch. so i simply dont watch tutorials 😔
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Well here is another ask! (I Hope you don't get Mad)
Can I request more(Good) Fleetway Super, scourge and Fleetway Sonic just chilling together? But instead of movies they are playing games
I am always happy to answer asks about these two fkdhsad I'll never get mad for having more excuses to talk or write about them!!!
~~~
Sonic wished he could say he didn't know how he'd been dragged into this, but unfortunately, he was all too aware of exactly who was to blame for this.
It was all Ebony's fault. She was the one who kept insisting Sonic, ugh, just got to know Super. Because he wasn't that bad when he wasn't evil and trying to murder Sonic and his friends in cold blood, could Sonic not find it in his heart to get to know him a little better and stop hating him?
He should have kept refusing. He never should have given in. But for some unknown reason, Scourge of all people decided to back her up like the traitor he was. The resulting discussion had been long and torturous, and Tekno had unhelpfully chimed in with multiple comments of her own, because apparently she had never seen Super in a murderous enough rampage to be put off by him. And then Amy reluctantly backed up Tekno, because of course she did, and then-
Well. And then Sonic somehow found himself breathing the same air as Super without either of them fighting.
The process had been, so far, just as long and torturous as his initial discussion (fight) over the issue with Scourge, and to Sonic's eternal annoyance, it wasn't... well, it wasn't not working. So much so he had somehow found himself here, in the back room of the Groovy Train, Scourge firmly sandwiched between him and Super as they sat in front of a TV with controllers in their hands.
It... wasn't the worst situation Sonic had ever been in. He didn't like it, but if he had to be in a room with Super, it was better to not have the fucker trying to kill him, and so far, he hadn't. He'd needed surprisingly little instruction on how to work the game - good, because Sonic didn't have the patience to waste time explaining it to him - and had commented, with far too much snark, "We were the same person once, you know, you spent too much time on this game for me to not know how to play it."
Cheeky bastard.
They'd argued for a while about what game to play - or rather, Sonic and Scourge argued, mainly because Scourge wanted to play that stupid Marxio Brothers game solely to piss Sonic off - before they finally settled on Avenue Warrior 2, a fighting game that was definitely not one of Sonic's favourites. They just happened to have a copy of it back at the base, and it was a good way to unwind after a difficult mission.
Normally, the only person Sonic could convince to play it with him was Tails; the game supported up to four players, but no one else had ever really cared enough to play it with him more than a few times, sulking over getting their asses kicked. Pixel Brain was the only one who stuck at it, with that determined little frown that screamed he was determined to beat Sonic one day. As if, but it was nice for the kid to have a goal. Lately, he'd started to be able to rope Scourge into playing it, which was more of a challenge; Scourge wasn't as familiar with the game as Sonic, didn't know all the little tricks and secrets, but he was a fast learner, and kept Sonic on his toes. But Tails refused to play when Scourge did, saying they got too competitive when they were together, so Sonic was used to only ever playing with one other person. He'd never seen three player mode before.
"Son of a bitch!"
Apparently three player mode involved a lot of the two of them getting too caught up in their rivalry, only for Super to remind them he was there by coming in and delivering some particularly devastating moves, because of course the bastard had leeched off some of Sonic's hard earned skills after the split.
He'd be more mad about it, but every time Scourge's avatar fell was a balm to soothe the irritation.
"You fucking cheater!" Scourge accused, waving his controller.
"Not my fault you're bad at the game," Super replied, quick as a flash. He was usually so meek, but apparently the distraction of video games brought some kind of confidence out of him he didn't normally possess, at least when he was speaking to Scourge. He still shrank back whenever Sonic spoke to him, but honestly, that was perfectly fine by Sonic. He wasn't exactly leaping to become Super's friend.
The only reason he was here at all was because Scourge had talked him into it.
"Bad at the - how am I bad at the game when you're the one who-"
"Just accept you're shit," Sonic said, mashing the buttons on his controller to dodge what would have been a spectacularly vicious combo from Super. They were infuriatingly evenly matched. "I saw that coming a mile away. If you couldn't dodge it, that's your fault."
Scourge hissed, which was the only warning Sonic and Super got before he darted forward and promptly unplugged both their controllers.
"Hey!"
"Oh fuck off, you little moss covered hairball-"
Sonic scrambled to plug his controller back in before Super could; they were both good enough at the game that being the first to get their controller working again was the difference between win or lose. Apparently, Super realised the same thing, because he was almost as fast as Sonic. Their shoulders bumped as they frantically tried to plug in their controllers, and both of them tensed at the contact.
Sonic recovered a split second before Super did, plugging his controller back in with a triumphant yell and flinging himself back to the sofa. Super wasn't far behind, snatching up his controller just in time to barely dodge a punch from Sonic's avatar. Lucky fucker.
"Do that again and I'll dangle you out the window with the wire of your controller," Sonic threatened, leaning to the side while dodging a kick like that would help him. Both of their avatars were dangerously low on health; it would be a close call, and Sonic was determined to win.
"I can always turn the console off-"
Scourge twitched like he was going to get up, and in unison Sonic and Super grabbed his arms and flung him back down. For good measure, Sonic wrapped his legs around Scourge's torso, pinning him there.
"If you wanted to cuddle, all you had to do was ask," Scourge said, tilting his head back to grin at Sonic.
"I want you to not be a sore loser."
"I'm not a-!"
"You kinda are," Super said quietly, his earlier confidence shaken from the brief physical contact the two of them shared.
Sonic took advantage of his moment of distraction to deliver a final blow to Super's character, basking in smug, triumphant victory as the game declared him the winner.
He was used to being victorious in this game, but he had to admit, it was a lot more rewarding when he had to actually work for it.
Not that he would admit it out loud. If he ever recounted this story to anyone, he'd tell them it was a landslide victory; no need to let everyone know Super of all people gave him so much trouble.
"Another round?" he asked, smiling smugly at Scourge. "Think you can take another loss without trying to sabotage me, this time?"
"I've won three of these," Scourge complained. "Super's won four. Stop acting like you're hot shit just because you have the most experience with this stupid game."
"I'm not acting like I'm hot shit, I am hot shit."
"Shut up." Scourge untangled himself from Sonic, pulling himself to his feet. "Oi, Super, got any other games? We've been playing this one for two hours now."
"In the cabinet," Super said, startled at being addressed. "In, uh... in the next room."
"Tired of losing?" Sonic taunted.
"Go fuck yourself," Scourge said, sticking his middle finger up at Sonic as he left to root through the cabinet. Sonic stuck two fingers up in retaliation, even knowing he wouldn't be seen.
Then he was left alone with Super. Great. Exactly what he didn't want out of today.
Super eyed him warily, shifting further into his corner of the sofa like Sonic was the dangerous one who could attack at any moment, and Sonic almost snorted. The fucking irony.
Having Scourge sit between them was a conscious choice made for the sake of everyone. Scourge was the only one who didn't have a problem with either of them, while Sonic and Super had many, many problems with one another, although really, Sonic was far more justified in the amount of problems he had with Super. The guy had tried to murder his friends, for fucks sake. Had left Sonic with the burning wreckage of the Tornado and the belief he'd killed the people he cared about. In his opinion, Super didn't get to feel wary about Sonic after everything he'd done.
But, for whatever reason, he was. The mutual discomfort left them uneasy around one another, so they silently agreed to just avoid the shit out of each other for the rest of their lives - a decision that, apparently, no one could respect. Scourge was supposed to be the buffer between them, but apparently he couldn't take even one single job seriously. Super could've gotten a new game and left Sonic alone for two minutes with his boyfriend, but no, apparently that was too much to ask.
Still, as much as Super shrinking away annoyed him, Sonic didn't say anything, just turned away to stare out the window, although he kept one ear flicked in Super's direction just in case he tried anything. Tekno kept saying the suspicion was unnecessary, but what did she know? Better safe than sorry when it came to Super.
If Scourge or Ebony or whoever the fuck planned this was hoping getting them alone would get them to talk, they were sorely mistaken. Sonic didn't have anything to say to Super that wasn't antagonistic, and he didn't want to deal with the bitching he'd be subjected to if he provoked Super - damn the asshole and his overprotective mums - so it was better to just silently ignore him until Scourge came back.
Not that provoking him would be a good idea. The last thing he wanted was to set Super off and turn him homicidal again.
No, ignoring him really was the best way forward, and Super, thankfully, seemed to agree, because he didn't try to strike up any conversation of his own.
They just. Had. To wait. Fine. Sonic could do that. He could sit across from the demonic entity made entirely out of corrupted chaos energy, supposedly placid and a pacifist even though Sonic knew chaos energy didn't work that way.
Sonic was reluctantly beginning to believe Super really wasn't playing the long con - he'd never really had the patience for such things, always turning on anyone he teamed up with the second Sonic came into view, so gaining the self control to be alone with Sonic and not kill him in order to build trust and kill him at a later date was unlikely to say the least - but that didn't mean anything about Super's sudden attitude change made sense to him. He knew all too well how chaos energy worked; it was every bit as wild as its namesake, out of control and unable to be contained. Sonic never remembered any of the times he went super, but he could recall the moments before transformation uncomfortably well. The swelling of power, then energy lashing inside him, screeching for mindless destruction so loudly it was impossible to fight against-
Sonic's fists were clenched. With a deep, deliberate breath, he loosened them, forcing the tightness in his chest to unwind and the unpleasant emotions to back down through well-practiced force of will.
Chaos energy could not be placid. It could not be pacified. It was a feral beast, and it could be drained, and in small doses it wasn't harmful, but it couldn't be tamed. Sonic knew, he had tried. Tried so hard to hold it back, time and time again, to suppress it.
It didn't make sense that Super - a being made entirely of that destructive energy - could do what Sonic knew for a fact was impossible. Fighting chaos energy had to be impossible, otherwise Sonic would have figured out how to do it. Otherwise Kintobor would be-
An unpleasant emotion bubbled in his chest, and he shoved it down viciously. No point in dwelling on that.
It was a relief when Scourge came back, waving a game with a triumphant smile. "Zombies! Can't believe you let us play this shit, Super, when we could've been beating the shit out of zombies the whole time."
Super straightened a little, eyes sharpening, and Sonic tensed - but his eyes were only sharpening in interest, staring at the game in Scourge's hand and not Scourge himself. Not threatening, not waiting to attack.
It took conscious effort to relax.
"Just hurry up and put it in," Sonic said, folding his arms and slumping in his seat. See? The perfect picture of relaxed. He and Super existed in one another's presence without supervision and without ripping each other's throats out. He was great at this being civil thing, so Tekno and Amy and Scourge especially Ebony could shut the fuck up forever.
"Impatient," Scourge tutted, deliberately taking his time removing the cartridge from the case like the asshole he was.
Sonic threw a cushion at him, earning a startled giggle from Super.
"Fucks sake, fine," Scourge hissed, popping the cartridge into the console and returning to his rightful place by Sonic's side, firmly in between him and Super once again.
"Don't be a dick and I won't need to throw shit at you," Sonic said. He chanced a glance at Super, who was watching the TV, and slid his hand into Scourge's, giving it a squeeze.
If Scourge was surprised by the sudden affection, he didn't show it. Just squeezed Sonic's hand right back, and didn't let go until Sonic finally relaxed by his side and the title screen came up.
"Do any of us actually know how to play this game?" Scourge asked.
"I do," Super said, picking his controller back up. "I can teach you."
"Sweet."
Sonic's hackles raised at the idea of anyone, much less Super, teaching him anything, but he forced it down. Whatever. He could deal with it.
As they selected their characters and started the game, he leaned on Scourge. Just a little, barely a nudge, but Scourge barely leaned on him right back, and it was enough to settle his overactive nerves at least a little.
Playing video games with Super wasn't something he'd ever pictured himself doing, and it wasn't something he particularly wanted to be doing at that exact moment, either. If he had the choice, he'd rather go for a run far, far away from his maybe-not-evil double.
But as long as he was here, Scourge's presence helped, and Sonic couldn't help but be grateful for that.
The bastard still owed him so many races when they got home for helping to drag him into this, though.
#sonic the hedgehog#scourge the hedgehog#fleetway sonic#stc sonic#fleet!sonourge#asks#fanfic#fleetway super sonic#me: okay just a chill almost fluffy oneshot this time! just something chill of the bois all vibing together playing video games!#sonic: has unresolved issues towards super that make him Feel Things#me: in hindsight i should have seen this coming.#somehow this evolved into me using this fic as an excuse to touch on some of sonic's feelings towards super#and how. perhaps. a lot of those feelings relate to kintobor/robotnik#i am so so normal about these things as you can see.#scourge probably wasn't even thinking about trying to make them talk when he went into the other room. idk if he was even thinking at all#damn it sonic super has every right to feel wary around u!!!!#me writing sonic's pov and making him think mean awful things towards my boy: how dare you be mean and awful about my boy#anyways thank you so much for the request!!!!#haven't done one of these in ages fhdsdfdashk been too focused on some of my multichapters for other fandoms
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So I was looking through some 'Ugly Betty' clips last night, and couldn't help but imagine these as Hugo and Noa:
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also a bonus (this one is from the show 'Desperate Housewives', but it really reminded me of Noa! I can totally see her saying and doing stuff like this lol):
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#about those first two videos#i really enjoy imagining them working together to get out of an awkward situation they don't want to be in#and both of their thought processes#like i love the “you can't set the boat on fire...Explosives work better. We didn't plan ahead!” line#and i can totally see Hugo lying about his height in general for dating services. or just bumping it up to be in the 6ft range#when he's actually like around 5'11 with shoes on (at least that's just my headcanon. it's kinda hard to tell his exact height in canon)#and he just assumes whoever he matches up with is shorter than him and won't notice lol#i mean most people are. he's already a pretty big guy#also i love the idea of Hugo misreading signals between them and kissing her at the wrong time#like they're stuck in an elevator together and Noa is mostly focusing on figuring out a way to get out#but he just sees it as the perfect opportunity to get closer to her#which obviously backfires on him (no matter how good of an idea he thought it was at the time)#because even if she *does* want to make out with him in that elevator (and she totally does) she won't let herself#and she'd probably feel awful about it afterwards#like she always does whenever she accidentally ends up pushing him away and hurting his feelings#even though she'd try to convince herself that she shouldn't regret doing that to him. that it was the smart choice#but of course that doesn't work#anyway i just wanted to share my thoughts on these!#s/i: noa simmons#hugo vasquez#otp: golden shot
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Whoever designed my new local library is not seeing heaven
#it's just one massive industrial style room#stone floors high unfinished ceilings...#if two people are having a conversation on the other side of the room you can hear it as well as if they were standing right next to you#since there's just one big room the children's section is also in there which means there's always crying babies and screaming kids#there's a couple tables you can sit and study at but it's SO loud in there I was wearing my loop earplugs and I still couldn't focus#AND THERE'S A VIDEO GAMING STATION RIGHT NEXT TO ONE OF THE STUDY AREAS#whyyyy didn't they make the kids library and play area a separate room from the rest of the library when they designed it 😭😭😭#and they were so focused on matching the industrial aesthetic that they created an absolutely unusable library#imagine designing a public library and not thinking about user experience 💀#this pisses me off so bad#personal
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made the realization my vampire story would work best as a video game and now i can't stop thinking about it
#personal#like. vtm meets cyberponk. do you understand#it would be very focused on prioritizing... because you do play as a fully established character#but you get a bunch of jobs to take care of and you have to decide what you do first and most importantly how you solve it#you can combine certain jobs to do at once to save yourself time and effort but everything you do comes with consequences#if you ignore a problem for too long or deal with it poorly it will come back to bite you in the ass later. you can lose friends and such#basically you have it all from the start and then gradually like. work your way towards a single ending#locking yourself out of other paths because of the choices that you make etc etc and so on#friendships can help you out but they can also get in the way of other things so you have to think about like#how far you're willing to let yourself get distracted. but also no distractions is also a bad way to go at it because you'll end up alone#it would have a wide variety of endings but i suppose the 'canon' one would be the one where everything works out#because of the whole already established character thing. and also this is not real this is my story so i can do what i want#if it was an actual video game it wouldn't have a canon ending but it's never gonna happen so i can say it has a canon ending#but yeah you can play as heavenly the vampire hunter or as sun the vampire and then you get cool vampire abilities :]#i do like the idea of romance availability but they're different depending on who you play as#valentine can be romanced by both but he's a little brat so idk if you'd want that#isaac can only be romanced by heavenly because isaac is a gay man. valeska can be romanced by sun only because#valeska and heavenly are exes. so you can have a one night stand with her as heavenly and then she ghosts you LMAO#you can go into clubs... you can play carousel with npcs. it would be a very immersive experience#if you hang out at certain clubs too much then other vampire factions will be warier of you when you visit their club instead#you can forge alliances to be allowed into certain areas in town. you can disguise yourself. you have to hide your weapons#there's actual ways you can research locations or people involved in gigs so you can prepare yourself properly and potentially like#learn new things that open up a new way to deal with a situation#sometimes you have to wait until nighttime to be able to go somewhere because it's quieter around those hours. or vice versa#sometimes you have to wait a few days before someone can meet with you but if you miss the meeting you have to reschedule#and then you have to wait even longer. and some quests don't give you that much time so then you'd have to improvise#being spotted in a location can be dealt with by wiping security footage / killing the person who saw you. or just reloading your save#but if you've been spotted and you don't take care of it then that will ALSO have consequences. etc etc and so on#difficulty level in the game would determine how generous the game is surrounding stealth / time for quests / resilience of the guy you pla#and it wouldn't like. necessarily turn enemies into bullet sponges because that's lazy. it's much more fun to change other things
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