#and first thing my mom does is yell at me about how i'm a bad sister for 'leaving my sibling alone'

[thal-ent]

Hhhhhhh

[moonastroellie]

i looovvee the song daddy issues by the neighborhood (definitely does not say anything abt me) do you think you could make headcannons inspired by the song?

where reader has never been taken care of but ellie come along and like heals her ig? 😏

Hell yeah

warnings: 18+, these are going to get dark, mentions of childhood trauma, abusive parents, panic attacks, mentions of murder, trans! Ellie.

- Ellie met you in her shared dorm with you and Dina, after you had a panic attack crying on the ground after you accidentally broke Dina's favourite cup.

"hey, hey, are you okay?" Ellie kneels down next to you, and caresses your hair gently as you sob and rant on about how you broke Dina's favourite cup, "it's okay- I promise, she doesn't care"

"are you sure?" sobs continue to leave your mouth as Ellie sits next to you leaning against the wall "I promise"

- Ellie who asked you about what you were thinking about, while you were both studying together.

"what are you thinking about, hon?" she questions, you shrug, trying to brush it off, "if I told you what I was thinking about you'd think I was insane" Ellie laughs "you couldn't say a single thing to me that would make me think you're insane"

"I killed someone" you joke and a choked out "what" leaves Ellie's lips "I'm fucking joking!" you say as soon as you realise she didn't think you were joking.

"I think I like you" and just like that, you and Ellie began dating—not only this, but this is when all your past trauma started taking effect on your relationship.

- Ellie who comforted you whenever you thought you did something wrong. she knew there was something deeper that you weren't telling her but never pushed you to say anything if you weren't ready-

- Ellie who sat and listened to you whenever you needed to rant, and in fact. it was the first time you ever opened up to Ellie.

"this is how my story begins and I don't ever wanna tell the story again" you cry as tears drip down your face "it's okay, you can cry- I'm here for you" you immediately find comfort in Ellie's lap.

"and my dad? fuck he was crazy, he was never present- he cheated on mom so many fucking times and i- he used to yell at me for leaving a light on, that's fucking insane am I right?" ranting on and on, Ellie didn't once turn her attention to something else. it was on you and only you.

- Ellie who pushed you out of your comfort zone to make more friends and learn that not all people are bad, she knew you had social anxiety due to growing up with your parents who never taught you how to communicate properly.

"I'd do whatever I can do to protect you, you know that right?" Ellie says as she places her hand on your thigh, as she drives to Jesse's place. you smile and nod, leaning on her shoulder as she drives.

- Ellie who watched you have a panic attack over eating the last brownie, that was in fact her brownie. "I don't care, it's not the end of the world babe, it's just a brownie" she chuckles, this doesn't calm you down once—ellie realises this and hugs you tight "it's okay"

"my dad left money in mom's hands but I always felt bad for eating the last food because maybe Mom doesn't have enough money and i-" Ellie pats your head in a comforting way, suddenly you realise there wasn't any reason to react to that.

- Ellie who was so happy to see you finally come out of your shell and actually enjoy life the way people should—she pushed you to finally get therapy, which helped a lot. she noticed you going out a lot more, not crying over every small inconvenience.

- Ellie who cuddled you so much that you actually wanted to push her off you sometimes "Ellie, I'm boiling" she grumbles, and you chuckle at her half asleep body, pulling a hair strain behind her ear as she snuggles into you more.

- Ellie who teared up when you told her that she saved your life, "are you crying?"

"what? me, ew get away!" she sniffles and hugs you, telling you how much she loves you.

[sugar-omi]

Since it's getting close to Valentines Day, I wanted to ask something wholesome.

Imagine getting one of those candy and card things in school (I think they are called Teddygrams) for Cove. (This can be any step)

i looked it up, n google just showed me pictures of bear shaped graham crackers n ion think thats what you mean... but i do know what you're talking about!!! i remember exchanging happy V-day cards and candy w the class!!! i've been thinking abt step 2 mc and cove exchanging gifts, so i'm glad others are thinking abt the same thing too.. and even though this is, prbly, definitely?, different than what you want, i was alrdy writing something so here you go LOL happy valentines day everyone <33

tags : Fluff, step 2, gn reader, you or cove confessed at the end of step 2, multiple choice dialogue, your mom is out to embarrass u for sure....

synopsis : cove asks you to be his valentine for the first time as his partner.. he's probably way more nervous than he should be.

cove doesn't know what got into him this year.

well.. he does. you two started dating last summer and with valentines day decor and gifts all over town, and sly comments from his father about his plans for the week. he can't ignore it.

he also can't ignore the fact that he does want to do.. something for you for valentines day. enough though it's embarrassing and nerve crushing, and he could probably drill a hole in the ground with how much he's shaking.

but he tries to ignore the butterflies in his stomach, and he definitely ignores the way his dad looks at him, a smirk on his face as he watches cove carefully put your gift in his backpack, and when cove glares at him, he whistles around the edge of his coffee mug, his eyes drifting around the room and turns his back to cove.

cove ignores his dad's shaking shoulders, and continues to ignore him until it's time to leave.

cove throws his bag over his shoulder, avoiding his dad's gaze as he flips the locks. "i'm going now, bye dad..."

cliff smiles, feeling a bit bad that cove looks so flustered, but he's sure he'll make it worse if he tries to comfort him. "okay, have a good day at school! tell everyone i said hi."

cove peers at his dad, trying to weigh if there's any sarcasm or teasing his dad's words... but he just nods and slips out the door, deciding to lock it on his way out.

even though he can't wait to se you, he also is procrastinating the inevitable...

he eventually finds his way across the road, and on your doorstep, hypnotically knocking on the door, a habit he is used to but also falling out of ever since you two agreed on another method of entrance via your window...

the door flies open, and instead of you, he's greeted with elizabeth's bored expression.

her face morphs into a lopsided smirk, a quip on the tip of her tongue.

she turns over her shoulder, yelling. "y/n! your baby boyfriend is here!"

cove sputters, his face flushing a bright, deep red. he hears some muffled yelling and thumps, presumably from you, but your mom coming around the corner keeps him from dwelling on it.

she puts her hand on elizabeth's shoulder, squeezing. "now now, be nice! it's a bright and new day after all, don't start by teasing the poor boy."

cove eyes pamela while she speaks with elizabeth, already knowing she's just saving her comments for later, and that she's just saving cove from elizabeth's terror since noelani left for work earlier.

pamela turns to cove, smiling brilliantly. "good morning cove. lovely day isn't it?"

ugh, she's definitely hinting about it being valentines day...

cove nods, "uh, yeah... good morning, mrs. l/n. my dad said hi, by the way."

she nods, waving him in. "tell him hi for me. you two should join us for dinner one of these days! it's been awhile.."

cove nods along with her ramblings, sitting stiffly on the couch, not sure where to look since elizabeth is also on the other end, stretched out across the other couch and engrossed in her teen magazine.

the creaking of the stairs snap cove out of his daze, and he ignores the snickering and hushed words between elizabeth and pamela.

you give a look to your mom and sister, but your eyes quickly turn to cove and you brighten up.

"oh! hi, cove.." you smile, hiding something by your side, trying to shield whatever it is with your backpack.

pamela claps, commanding attention. "now that you're all ready, lets get going, i gotta get to work. liz, where's your bag?"

cove stands up, walking to you to escape elizabeth's whining about being called 'liz', running to you to greet you.

you smile, a bit flustered this morning since unbeknownst to him, you also have a gift for him.

cove scratches his arm, smiling shyly, "um, hi y/n.."

there's a stretch of silence between you, awkward glances and you're fidgeting with your hands.

"um.." you break the silence, shuffling on your feet. "i have something for you... i was gonna give it to you at lunch but, maybe now is better?..."

you hold out a box with a red ribbon around the box, a little card folded and slipped through the ribbon.

cove flushes, a soft "oh!" slipping out his mouth. he probably shouldn't be surprised by the gift, but it doesn't mean he isn't flustered still.

your first valentines together... his heart is gonna beat out his chest.

"feel free to open it up and taste it, i [ made it myself / made it with ma / bought it ], so i hope it tastes good..." you ramble, watching cove read the card, his blush only spreading to his ears.

he pulls the ribbon, opening the box with slightly shaky hands.

he brightens up when he sees the brownies inside, white and pink chocolate drizzled on top with heart shaped sprinkles. it's cute, and looks extra yummy with caramel and chocolate chips inside the perfectly cut cubes of brownie.

he looks up, like an eager puppy, "can i really try it now?"

you nod, and cove breaks off a piece, chewing on it happily.

he licks his lips, eager to eat it right here and now but he decides to save it for later, remembering he has something for you too.

"uh, i have something for you too..." cove grabs his bag by the door, unzipping and reaching into an inside pocket and pulls out a pink, plush bunny holding a heart, and a box with a pretty ribbon wrapped around it.

you take it from him, squishing the rabbit in your hands and enjoying the fluffy fabric. reluctantly you put down the soft rabbit, in favor of opening the box that cove said you could open too.

you look inside, happy to see your favorite, [ chocolate / chocolate covered strawberries / cookies ] inside it.

you look up at cove, trying to meet cove's dodgy gaze. he scratches his cheek, shyly meeting your eyes. "i'm not good at cooking, so i just bought 'em. but i promise they're good! at least, i think.. i hope, they were the nicer ones so.." cove trails off.

you wave him off, closing the box. "they're perfect! thank you cove.."

you open your arms, silently asking for a hug which cove all but dives into, snaking his arms around your back and melting in your arms.

he's so happy.. and his heart has returned to a more reasonable beat.

you break apart, and cove covers his mouth and cheeks, feeling shy. "so.. does that mean you'll uh, be my valentine?" cove mumbles just loud enough for you to hear.

your smile wide, unable to keep the grin off your face. you nod, "i'd really like that, cove."

cove smiles, so happy he could float. "so.. do you wanna eat lunch with me? i mean.. i know we do already but like.. just you and me? maybe?" cove anticipates your response, buzzing with new, good energy.

you bite your lip, trying not to laugh at how cove is just missing a wagging tail to match his enthusiasm. "yeah, i'd like that too."

but your mom shouts from the door way, her keys jingling in her hand.

"okay lovebirds, now that you've set a date, lets go! you're late for your date with algebra!"

"mom!" you groan, looking at her laughing form with a scandalized look, cove shrinking, hiding his face.

[nightviator]

OK so hear me out. I'm going to tell you how I think they could make the subway scenes without making lila and Five a thing, and also having a really good character arc and making them show trauma signs. It's a bit long.

Like five would be as traumatised as he deserved to be from last apocalypse, having flashbacks and etc. Lila would see what he experienced to end up as the assassin he was and would think about her parents and the way she wanted to kill him because of her family but ended up being ungrateful for having one. And they could have great character arcs.

Lila and Five go to that subway. Five sees that thay lost the way to go back home and is really frustrated. Actually he is using that anger to hide the fact that he is scared. Traumatised. Because he has seen it all before.

He was there before. Lost, without power to help his family. He is scared. That time he had handler and there is now no thing such that. What if he has to wait another 45 years to go back to his family? Does he even has that mental capability? What if he dies before getting the chance?

He really is scared. Scared because all of the thoughts he had in that past apocalypse are coming back to him. But this time it really was his fault. He can't tell that he is a kid just saying no to his father (not that he could use it to convince himself before, the guilt was too much). He can't say he had no idea of what time travel can make. He had promised himself to never do such a stupid thing ever again and he did it. This time he abandoned his family when he knew they were in a bad state.

So he is scared and angry at himself and at lila and everything and ptsd and stuff and stuff and. Lila sees it. Lila can see what made the murder of her parents, the murder of her parents. She can see how traumatised he really was. And she wants to help. She was responsible in this because she wanted to be more than just a wife and mom and she kinda made him to come here.

But as the time passes five is in a way worse situation. He is loosing it. Also the one who wants to help him is the daughter of handler. Five is so paranoid. What if it was all a plan? What if he never really ran away from the first apocalypse and is still working for commission? What if this is mind games of handler? And if not, what says that Lila can't be another handler? The ones that find you when you're at your worst and try to act like they want to help.

So here we have paranoid Five and Lila who wants to help and understands how truly traumatised he is. She is also scared that Five may run away when she is sleep because he can't trust her now,and because of that she has to always keep an eye on him.

This makes him even more sure that something is up with Lila. And when they go to that very first apocalypse, he goes to his young self without paying attention to gun to make sure that its not all just memories made by handler and he is truly seeing this and the things he experienced after season 1 were real. He is gets shot and lila is the one who saves him.

She is like:"you fucking idiot!!! What are you doing?! You literally were the murder of my parents and now you're acting all crazy and are about to get both of us killed?!"

And he looks at her, yelling that he NEVER wanted those to happen, and just for the first time cries because he thinks all of the things he has done was because of handler but also thinks he is making those up to feel less guilty of being a murder for such a long time and also coming to this subway but at the same time he is paranoid and etc etc.

Lila sees how much guilt he had and also feels bad because does she really miss her family? If yes, why wasn't she more grateful this time? Why did she ran away from them then?

And she sighs, tries to stop nagging at such a situation and adds a mental note to make him go to therapy once they are out. If they are out. So he is all tired, and she goes to help him with that wound, and he just stares at her, disgusted and shocked and saying that don't you DARE to touch me.

Lila is so confused buy apparently this made Five really believe that Lila is just like handler and is trying to use him and make him feel like he needs her just to get closer to him. Is he going to let someone else touch him? Even go near him? Absolutely not. No. No way.

So he runs away, and she barely makes it to not miss the subway by using his powers. Five is there, bleeding but still refusing help. He is about to die, and then she won't be able to copy anything and will probably stuck here forever, and she is the one who made this happen. Such a selfish person she is, thinking about herself in this moment when five is DYING, she thinks.

And when they are both at the last level of disappointment, the subway finally stops in were they wanted. Home. Their home.

It's been such a long time, 7 years.

Lila jist picks Five, running out. Five survives and Lila has a emotional hug with Diego (who wanted to fix everything) and her children and they sob and they talk and they really fix problems.

And then one of the siblings makes a comment on Five, saying how stupidly he trapped himself in a thing related to time again as if he is addicted.

Lila is about to just rush and kill that person. She yells that none of them never really cared about how traumatised he was and she realises she was like that too.

Anyways, Five wakes up and siblings are ready for emotional support and things go back to normal or at least a bit good. And him and lila have such a iconic friendship.

Also Diego tries to be the good brother that he told that Five was. Because Five deserves good brother too.

Also, you want romance? Throw a scene when he finds Delores or human Delores there and wants her so badly but Lila has to stop him because they should go and Five just hates this because he thinks she is just using his love for his wife like handler. (Got the human Delores idea from another tumblr post that I can't find now.)

TADA!!!

BETTER PLOT!!!

....damn I wrote a LOT. I may make it a fanfic-

So... yeah. Love to know your thoughts too, because we are all so angry.

[rowretro]

𝕄𝔼𝕋𝔸𝕃 𝕄𝔼𝔼𝕋𝕊 𝕃𝕆𝕍𝔼

✧taglist✧: @baevsxii @nikisdubblchococake

✧warnings: Yandere themes, toxic themes, unhealthy love, mentions of blood, a little goofy w won

♡synopsis: Nishimura Riki. The Robot created by Yang Jungwon himself, a robot that is insanely human like, inside and out. No one could tell he was a robot. However, the Robot had possessed demonly powers, from Satan himself. So I guess you could see it's a half robot. Yang y/n, the younger sister of Jungwon finds herself stuck to this robot 24/7 no matter what she tried, he will always be by her because she's his muse, his world, his love, his obsession.

(PART 2)

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Jungwon gasped seeing Riki carry inside the unconscious, somewhat bloodied body of his sister. "NI-KI BOT NO! HOW COULD YOU FUCKING KILL MY FUCKING SISTER?! HOW DO YOU CALL THIS LOVE?!!!" He exclaimed, mad as he searched for a weapon. "No no master Yang... she fainted. She saw me take the life of another human and fainted... nothing to worry about, I ran a body scan she was just stressed..." The robot male simply said as he softly laid her down.

Riki eyed her up and down, oh how peaceful she looked when sleeping. He cleaned himself up, taking a human shower. Even Jungwon was in utter shock seeing the robot act so human, not one bit effected by the water. Riki dried his hair as he glanced at Y/n. The girl still dressed in the bloodstained, sweaty clothes. Riki approached her unconscious figure. His hands making it's way to her shirt.

He slipped it off, Then her trousers, as he threw them in the laundry. "NI-KI bot. I need to run a test on- AH WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO MY SISTER... I DON'T EVEN KNOW IF A ROBOT IS ABLE TO MAKE A BABY, BBUT I KNOW MY SISTER CAN'T CARRY A CYBORG CREATURE INSIDE HER." Jungwon yelled as the robot ignored him, clean clothes at hand. "Do robots even have hormones?... hey I need to run a few tests on you so hurry up and don't hurt my sister." Jungwon warned.

The robot remained silent, carrying her to a very fancy, and wonderfully scented bath tub. "God fucksake what did I fucking create... who's the fucking mom- why does it have human parts-... did he steal someone's heart literally- what the fuck is fucking going on-" Jungwon mumbled to himself. Eventually, Y/n woke up. She was clean, dressed in one of her nightgowns and tucked into her bed comfortably. Maybe she was just having a nightmare?

The clothes in her laundry bag said otherwise. Y/n walked down the hallway and glanced into Jungwon's lab. Sitting there was Riki himself a few wires connected to him as Jungwon ran through a few things on a few computers. "It's fucking unbelievable... he's half Man half robot... practically- but that's impossible..." Jungwon mumbled as Y/n stood there, creeped out by the way Riki turned to her. "W-won... you're doing a really bad job as a brother... Either you're careless, irresponsible and shit at science, or you're so over protective to the point you wanted to make my future husband." Y/n said.

"Well... I don't know what you want me to do... if it was a robot completely- I can turn it off, dismantle it and melt it with acid or some shit..." Jungwon started as the robot turned it's head to Jungwon. "B-But- he's not just robot so I can't... a-also I think he's a great guy- he literally dressed you and didn't even hurt you or yknow... glaze your donut?" Jungwon added as y/n stared in shock, throwing her small teddy bear at him.

"OH MY GOD. BAD BROTHER BAD BAD BAD- FIRST YO U LET THAT MURDEROUS LAB RAT FREAK OF NATURE TOUCH ME AND YOU'RE LETTING HIM GET AWAY WITH THIS???" Y/n exclaims as Jungwon scratched his head. "Sis... I tried EVERYTHING. He's just impossible to get rid of trust me..." Jungwon added as Riki stared at him "HEY I'M TRYING TO SUPORT YOUR CASE HERE-" Jungwon yelled, raising his arms in defence.

"HIS CASE? HE IS MEANT TO BE JUST A HUMAN LOOKING LAPTOP." "OH MY GOD Y/N, NI-KI BOT LISTEN. I'M JUST TRYING TO CO EXSIST AND NOT GET MURDERRED. PLEASE." Jungwon finally yelled as y/n sighed. Riki got up when the wires were removed, his hand resting against the wall, his face leaning into hers. "So beautiful up close... Never seen something so beautiful, you can check my database for proof if u want." He simply said as Y/n rolled her eyes.

"You want to feel my kiss? boy you can't touch this." She simply said, her hand softly pushing his chest away. The robot found her cute, following her around everywhere, watching as she pours herself a glass of water, staring in the mirror, pouting and twirling her hair. Or even when she's just randomly working out, or making a snack. "Can you like stop staring?" she asked annoyed as he blinked. Riki then took a seat beside her. "Why don't you love me?" The robot asked as Y/n rolled her eyes. "NI-KI bot.... You're creepy, weird, a robot and in no world is it ever normal for a human to love a clunk of metal." She simply said.

"So you're saying, it isn't love because I can't shed blood for you?... It isn't love because when we kiss there won't be saliva?... Technology's improved darling... and My name is Riki do not call me NI-KI bot." He said, his voice going a whole octave deeper as he slit the skin on his arm, real blood dripping out the slit, the cut itself looking like a human's. "Now should we test with the kiss?" he asked his head tilted a little, as he stared intensely at her. "N-No NI-KI- I-I mean Riki.... you just stay here..." Y/n simply said as she ran off into her bedroom.

Y/n checked that he didn't follow her, and shut her room door. She made her way to her bedroom window, opening it as she looked down. The coast is clear. So she jumped, expecting to have a fairly painful landing that'll be less impactful by the bushes. However, her landing was a little softer. She found herself, staring directly into Riki's eyes as she was indeed in his arms. "Where we off to pretty baby?" The robot man asked, his eyes darkening as he carried her in.

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[beomqu]

Front Row - (smau)

(wc: 983)

"Come, the dog is locked in his room," Jaemin opened the door for you.

You had Kitty in your hands, walking into your friend's apartment, making sure to look around as this is the first time you are visiting his place. Jaemin was always the one to come over to you with the excuse of missing Kitty, who actually does like Jaemin a lot. If you were the mom of Kitty, the dad was definitely Jaemin.

"Where is he?" you asked.

"My roommate? He's at band practice," he nonchalantly shrugged his shoulders, leaning in to pet Kitty.

"Band practice?" you raised an eyebrow.

"You know, NCT.." he said as he took Kitty from your grasp and walked to his room where his 'babies' waited for him.

"WHAT?"

"..What?" the cats flinched at your loud voice, making Jaemin turn back with his brows furrowed, quickly putting down Kitty to comfort his new pets, "You're scaring them!"

"Jaemin, what the fuck do you mean NCT? Your roommate is in NCT?" you become frustrated with his calm persona, angrily standing in his doorway.

"Yeah, Jeno is in NCT, I gave you their at on Twitter," his eyes narrow as if this was the most unambiguous thing in the world, "I'm not THAT crazy to stalk their accounts in a minute,"

"No, you are though. I can't believe you haven't told me!" you try and calm your nerves by sitting down on Jaemin's bed where his cats lay, "Do you know Mark?"

"He has been over a couple of times, yeah, but we're not close," he said while he rubbed on a white fluffball's tummy, "This is Lucy," he smiled widely, leaning in to kiss the cat's head.

"Oh my god, this is crazy..."

Kitty jumped in your lap after scanning the new surroundings, "I didn't think about actually meeting him like this, he's gonna be totally weirded out," you shake your head nervous about the situation you put yourself in, "I shouldn't have texted him"

"I've known you longer than them, I'll defend you if I have to. I can talk to Jeno for your sake, hm?" he said before he introduced you to the two more cats, who were named Luke and Luna.

"I wanna trust you Jaem, but I feel like you're gonna do something bad and weird,"

"I want you to at least have a chance with Mark, don't worry about it," you sighed, but you agreed to him. This was your best chance at getting to know him.

You said "How is he like?" as you pet Kitty and Luna, "Weird,"

"Elaborate?" you raised your brow, "He's weird, that's all I know about him."

A knock at the door interrupted you before you could talk. Without waiting for an answer the door opened.

"Jaemin- Oh, hi?" it was the guy from the concert, you recognized him right away, Jeno, Jaemin's roommate.

"Hi..." you shyly waved not expecting him to just barge in like that, "Sorry to disturb you, I didn't know someone was coming over," he emphasized in his last words while intensely looking at Jaemin who couldn't care less.

"Just wanted to say that the guys are coming over," your eyes widened as Jeno shut the door.

"I have to leave. NOW." you got up, taking Kitty with you, "Why now?" your best friend got up behind you and walked out with you.

"I don't think he knows you, or any of them at that," he opened the door for you, "But if they see you, you might get recognized,"

"That will not happen-" you got interrupted by Kitty jumping out of your grasp.

You whisper yelled her name, hoping she would turn back, as you got nervous about seeing Mark and the rest of them.

As Kitty roamed the rooms, she eventually found the living room and as you followed behind her, the voices of the band members got louder. You called Kitty again, hoping you wouldn't have to follow her to the room, but for some reason, she did not listen.

"Oh, hi! Are you Jaemin's new pet?" you heard one of them say, making you curse under your breath.

You saw Kitty approach a bowl of food after slipping out under the guy's hand, but the bowl was already occupied by... a dog?!

"Hey, Kitty come here!" you picked up the pace, worried about what might happen, but the small dog was not bothered by Kitty taking a couple of bites out of the bowl.

You snatched up Kitty and turned around to face all four members looking right at you, confused by your presence.

"...Hi?" one of them greeted you, who you recall being the singer.

"Hello- sorry, I'll just go." you were about to leave when Jaemin came up behind you and put an arm over your shoulder. "Oh, it looks like we won't have a problem with the babies,"

Jeno looked at Jaemin pointing to you slightly, "Yeah, this is y/n, she was at your concert at the festival," your eyes widened at his words, "She loved it!"

"I remember you, I saw your tweet, thanks for coming!" said the tallest amongst them, "Of course, you guys are very talented..." you felt so embarrassed, you wanted to smack Jaemin so hard and then run away from all of them. You waved one last time before excusing yourself and finally turning to leave them. Mark was watching you as you left, he must've realized that it was you who texted him.

Jaemin followed up behind you to see you out, you couldn't hold back your frustration.

"Why in the world would you tell them that?"

"They would have realized it was you at one point anyway," he shrugged as you opened the door, "I'm never coming over again," you weren't mad at Jaemin, just embarrassed by your own actions. This was not a pleasant first meeting.

5. Cat sisters

previous - masterlist - next

[lxmbr]

Luxiem when you propose first! 💍

cw: suggestive in vox and ike's. not proofread

notes: thank you so much anon!! i'm so nervous to post this so i really hope this is up to your expectations! so sorry it took so long to make but i actually had a lot of fun! 🩷

Vox Akuma -

• Vox is a pretty traditional man so i think he'd be a bit bummed at first

• of course he'd say yes

• would probably still propose to you anyway

• he might even try to "1 up" you lol

• you mightve done it at a resturant but nonono he planned for weeks to get something "better"

• he ended up popping the question to you where he first asked you on a date

• he'd ask the other luxiem members to help set up the area with flower petals and candles/whatever you fancy

• VERY CLICHE.

• he does the cheesy prep talk before he finally pops the question

• "would you, (first and last name) make me, Vox Akuma the luckiest demon on earth and join me in ruling my clan?"

• afterwards he'd totally rizz you up to make you forget he just "beat you" in a fake competetion

• after BOTH proposals you know what happens ;)

• in the end he would happily say yes but be very flustered as he didnt expect you to be the one to do so. 

• the fact that you proposed first was both hot AND sweet

• he'd still want to give his go at a proposal too though :)

Mysta Rias -

• This boy- man would SCREAM

• he'd be hella surprised

• after he asesses the situation i think he'd do that cringy white girl thing 

• "OH EM GEE!! NO YOU DIDN'T! YES IF COURSE I WILL BABE!" while jumping and fanning his face with his hands

• after the jokes he'd say yes genuinely and kiss you happily

• "ah babeeee in so surprised but..im so happy" with his  sheepish giggle

• would give you the BIGGEST HUG ™

• since you asked him he'd treat you to dinner that night

• "its on me loves..gotta treat my future wife don't i?~"

• wouldnt. stop. talking. about. it. all. week.

• he might cry a bit but he would hide it for sure. maybe only a tear or two would come out

• would be soooo clingy the rest of the day/night

• "can we shower together??" 

• in the end he wouldnt mind all that much..hes just sooo excited to get to marry you!!

Luca Kaneshiro -

• you decided that day was THE day...but..so did he..

• oops! you both proposed the same day!

• of course the 3 year anniversary would he perfect!! why wouldnt he think of the possibility that you'd do it?!

• when you get on 1 knee he'd look around with a shocked expression and would give his awkward laugh

• "WHAT?!" 

• after your speech he got down on HIS knee ans then proposed to you..at eye level since you were still kneeling 

• everyone around was shocked. the other luxiem members aw-ing and laughing

• another loud one

• he'd call back home, YOUR mom, the waiters and waitresses, the lucubs...EVERYONE

• would also be clingy af 

• couldnt look you in the face from pure shyness but you caught him staring at you multiple times

• he wouldnt stop praising you for your proposal

• "omg that was so good baby i loved it!!"

• never lets go of you, your arms and hands are ALWAYS intertwined 

• gets jealous and possessive easily

• he'd pull you away from everyone..mainly the other guys

• "excuse you IKE. my FIANCE is BUSY with ME." while dragging you toward him and pouting

• no one is ever letting you guys live this down

Ike Eveland -

• he already was calling you his fiance/wife/husband before any of this

• he panicked

• after your proposal he pulled you into a quieter place frantically without answering 

• everyone thought it went bad and they all were upset

• you finally saw how red he was and he apologized and wanted to yell "YES" in your face..but he didnt

• "y-yes..i'd love to marry you min kärlek." 

• wouldnt let go of your hand

• makes sure YOU put the ring on his hand, not him

• when you guys come back out hes holding your hand timidly, making sure to show off the ring

• "GUYSSSS STAWPPP" when everyone cheers

• takes you to your favorite place afterward for food and then books a 5 star hotel

• "come on darling...pack up your things! <3"

• lets just say...yall had a NIGHT

• tries his best to be romantic all night

• surprisingly can play it cool with you after the initial shock unlike luca

• while he might be internally freaking out he could calm you down and rizz you up so. easily.

• absolute baby boy ™

• so. SO. excited to start planning

• "so we can have half of the venue (your fav color) and the other half blue!! and omg i can have- and you can- and can we please-" 

• basically very surprisee and panicked but once he gets you alone he very quickly gets insanely excited 

Shu Yamino -

• he already knew 

• was very nervous and wary around you often since he didnt know when but he knew you would yk?

• of course he didnt say anything, he didnt wanna ruin it

• actually he didnt even tell you he knew

• was actually caught off gaurd when you did it at first

• the rest of the proposal though he was able to keep it cool

• he actually bought you a ring and flowers in preperation

• "i would..love to marry you" as he grabs your hand and slips on your ring while you slip his on

• "ah..ive been waiting for this..im so happy"

• only tells close people such as family, luxiem, and manager-san

• asks staff-san for a week off that same day for a pre-wedding honeymoon

• gets shy whenever you call him your fiance/husband and vise versa

• he adores you and is clearly SO excited

• you caught him searching for weddingspo one night when he was supposed to be working

• buys new flowers every week until the day of the wedding

• lowkey had a dream about it and it made him giddy all day when he woke up

[jpeg-anachronism]

Alrighty, DMC fans, I've figured it out.

Spoilers for those who haven't played DMC 5 yet.

So, we all know that Vergil is Nero's dad. This fact has plagued the DMC fans for years due to it being a loose end that's never tied up.

Who's Nero's mother and Vergil's lover? Unclear. When did this happen? Who knows. How did Vergil fall for someone in what's seemingly a certified out of character moment? Fuck off.

Except here's the thing. The fandom did not fuck off. Forsooth, they fucked on to this thing in such a quick display of background character shipping it would make the Loud House fandom blush.

Side tangent but what the fuck is this I went to look up this one ship from a children's show and I kid you not this is the first thing that came up what the fuck.

Look, bullying is bad. But what if w-

The DMC fans took this one random background lady who stops and looks at Vergil for about three seconds in the opening cutscene of his route and went crazy with it in what was probably the fandom's shining moment.

Suddenly it was all clear. This random ass woman was Vergil's lover, Nero's mom, and the meaning behind the lyric "temptation's pulling me" in one giant package.

And I won't lie to y'all I'm down with that.

Here's the thing, though. We never see her face, hear her name, or really know anything about her besides the fact that she's (hypothetically) Nero's mom. She's the blandest character in the game franchise since we don't know anything aside from her role in canon.

And that's when it hit me.

Capcom did this on purpose.

Let me repeat.

Capcom did this on purpose.

Think about it. At this point, the third game had already come out and fans were practically drooling over Vergil. The fifth game wouldn't be released for a while, so we didn't have peak Vergil madness in the fandom yet but the fan's feelings were clear.

This man was fucking SEXY WITH A CAPITAL C.

The ladies wanted piece of him, and Capcom knew it. Hell, they still know it. Look at the marketing. The official marketing.

Look me in my eyes and tell me that they don't know what this man does to women.

But here's the issue. They needed him to be Nero's father.

When you create a man as perfect as Vergil, you run into a bit of a snag when picking a woman to be his canon lover. Every woman in the stratosphere is going to be tearing their hair out and shaking their fists to the heavens realizing they're not exactly like the woman he's hooked up with.

Sure, some female fans would just be happy to watch Vergil being in love, but deep down every one of them would ask the same question.

"Why couldn't Vergil have fucked me?"

Capcom thrived on Vergil simps. You remove their imaginary chances with an Imaginary character, and things get sticky.

They don't pick a lover for Vergil, the lore falls apart. They do pick a lover for Vergil, the fans fall apart. There was no way to win unless...

Unless they made the fans his lover.

Suddenly, the unpaid intern jumps up in his seat, tasting the promotion as he shouts out "we don't give her a face!"

Silence. A cough can be heard. A few of the people at the meeting start sweating.

"Don't give her a face?" One finally speaks up.

"Right!" The intern yells "No face! No voice! No personality!"

And suddenly the rest of the meeting room understands as well.

See that's the thing. The Fortuna lady is hooded on purpose. She's silent on purpose. She's given no personality on purpose.

Think about her design. We barely see any of her face except a mouth. Her weight is the most average weight one could program, and if it comes off as thinner than the player, they could easily say she's wearing a girdle or something similar under her dress. Her bust size is average, her height is average. Everything about her is painstakingly average and THAT WAS THE POINT.

LADY FORTUNA IS US AND WE ARE LADY FORTUNA. SHE'S A SELF INSERT DESIGNED BY CAPCOM SO WE COULD IMAGINE THAT WE WERE THE ONES WHO FUCKED VERGIL. IT WAS ALL PLANNED FROM THE START AND IT FUCKING WORKED. THE SICK SON OF A BITCHES DID IT.

"But Jpeg, they did give her a face! See?"

I sigh and pat your head.

"No, my sweet. They made this for the other fans. The ones who for whatever reason weren't attracted to Vergil. Of course they would want some form of "closure" as to what she looked like. To them her face was just another mystery to be solved. Besides, why not put this in the actual game? Why leave it as a single, oddly rendered model, banished to the depths of t-posing hell?"

Because it's not canon. That's the answer. The lady from Fortuna's canon face is our face.

"But Jpeg," fucking Oliver Twist pipes up "She's white. What about all the women of color who simp for Vergil? Wouldn't her skin color defeat the purpose?"

First of all, this is something that's hard to skirt around in the first place. No matter how much you cover up a character, you're going to need to show certain details. Look at any dating simulator protagonist.

They can go for basic designs by making them white and brunette, two of the most common genetics, to try to maintain the self insert illusion, but the sad thing is that at the end of the day, it's just a drawing of a man that is not the player.

Except DMC gets around this because fuck those dating sims. Those are for pussies and children of divorce. Devil May Cry treats you like a 100 IQ individual as it makes it clear that if you want it to be so, the Fortuna woman can just be some random ass lady who thought Vergil's cloak looked sick.

Vergil's real lover could be a whole different lady from Fortuna. One that's any race you wish it to be. Whichever race you are, she is too.

Hell, why stop with Fortuna? Who said you have to be a nun in this universe?! By our and Capcom's, logic, you could be whoever the fuck you wanted! It doesn't matter, so long as Vergil ended up smooshing the whooshing with you! Make it whatever pops into your mind! Are you a pizza delivery girl? Another Devil Hunter? A subscriber to Vergil's Onlyfans? Who knows? Oh, wait! You do!

Lady Fortuna is not a single character, nor does she represent such.

Lady Fortuna represents us, and the power of loving a fictional man beyond rational mind.

Lady Fortuna is us.

We are Lady Fortuna.

Or maybe she's some reused asset idk man it's whatever you guys think.

[profounddefendorcrusade-blog]

A Long Rant About The Koffin Trio

Note: So, this is my first (really) long post about this fangame, and to be honest, I was debating whether or not to even publish it. I still decided to do it since not a lot of folks talk about ts!underswap, and I wanted to give my two cents regarding my three favorite characters.

More important note: If you think it's gonna trigger you to read about Harry/Larry and Harry/Larry/KK as a found family, better click off this post. Maybe it's my inner aroace speaking, but I personally don't see the romantic appeal at all. Good for you if you do! I'm not trying to invalidate anyone's opinion; diversity is great after all :)

For those of you who are still here, I will start off by saying this:

Harry and Larry depend on Count Koffin-K for so much. I'm tempted to say EVERYTHING.

He genuinely feels like their father figure. I mean, this sentient fedora gave them a job while they were both living lives that were... bad.

He isn't cruel when they do something stupid and instead just looks deadpan. Sure, Koffin-K's not a perfect boss; he yells at the two of them and insults them (dude really needs to work on his temper), but I found it sweet how both Harry and Larry felt safe enough to tell him the truth here, which to me counts for something (pun intended) ↓

He even pranks them sometimes ↓

Koffin may not be perfect (he's gotta keep up the "evil" persona) but at least he 1) tries to give Harry and Larry a hint that he cares for them (has them both secretly do his laundry without them telling each other) 2) actually admits that he cares for them both equally (in his own way) 3) attempts to solve their disagreement despite him not gaining anything out of it

How they met is also interesting to me.

Based on their backstory, Harry and Larry were clearly hesitant to work for Koffin, but when they actually started the job the next day, I imagine that their conversation went something like this (either during the first day or at some point early on in their career):

H: "Larry, he could be like the dad we never had and provide for us and we could have all da money that we never did, see?"

L: "Huhuhu, yeah! Don't forgets da food!"

...and that's how the parade float came to be. I think Koffin secretly appreciates they made it, even though he says how he wanted the thing "as far away as possible" right after saying this line ↓

He also makes this face later on at the festival when he sees the float again cause it reminds him that the three of them are a family despite Harry and Larry getting on his nerves half the time but I can't include the screenshot bc of the picture limit

Heck, the two even built their house outside the keep, which to me suggests that they don’t ever plan on leaving Koffin.

Harry does mention his mother, and we learn that he's into embroidery (both making me think he's a a 'mama's boy'; maybe she taught him how to embroider)...

...but even on the ts!us wiki, the only relationship dynamic the two have is with Koffin-K himself.

Weirdly enough, we only know that Harry has a mom, but not a dad

Even though he was definitely unaware of this, Koffin liked Harry and Larry FOR BEING THEMSELVES. This is really important to me.

He saw something in them that others did not, even if it was initally just "your names rhyme and you give me the 'goofy henchmen' vibe." He sees them both as useful for what he needs them for. It may not be much, but it's exactly what Koffin's looking for.

In other words:

THE WAY HARRY AND LARRY ARE IS ENOUGH FOR COUNT KOFFIN-K. I mean, why look at resumes of competent potential employees when you can hire two idiots who are just as goofy as you

Exactly why Harry and Larry are so loyal to Koffin-K is unknown, but based on my interpretation, it has to do with 1) them desperately needing a father figure/someone to rely on 2) Koffin giving Harry and Larry a home, food, money, and a job that also allows them to slack off and finally enjoy life, and 3) him making them feel needed. Maybe not appreciated, even though he subtly tried to, but definitely needed. Serving under him became their purpose.

In other words, I think they're so loyal because Koffin "chose" them, even if he did that subconsciously.

Harry got the chance to be more than just a janitor. Imo, he was hesitant to work for Koffin at first because he was afraid that he would lose the only sense of security he had. I think he lived with his mom at the time, considering his low-wage job This explains why he wants to be rich (to make up for all the things he couldn't afford).

It also explains why Larry loves food so much (he literally slept under a dumpster bag and if he was both homeless AND unemployed, it would mean that he had to either be a beggar or eat from the trash. Either way, eating good food was out of the question.

It's also possible that Larry had a janitor job just like Harry (but unlike him, nowhere to live). I say that he might have been a janitor, since Koffin mentions how they could both do better than mopping floors forever, but maybe it was just an assumption on Koffin's side.

Whatever the case, their lives sucked.

There was also this one moment I wanna talk about, where Larry called Koffin-K stupid, and Harry pretty much agreed. So I asked myself why they reacted this way.

Maybe because it was easier to convince themselves that they didn't care about their boss than deal with the fact that he (maybe) always saw them as nothing but 'lowly servants'.

Seriously, Harry said out loud what they both wanted most of all. And that something was for Koffin-K to value them. This was more important to them than money and food COMBINED, considering their entire arc was about learning that Koffin needed them both equally

Maybe they were worried about getting fired, but I honestly don't think Koffin ever wanted to do that to them, no matter how many times they messed up.

Maybe they didn't want to be honest and admit to Koffin that he's a total dumbass so they wouldn't get in trouble with him. I mean, they did want to gain his validation/appreciation/approval/love, so it makes sense that they would do anything to get and remain in his good books.

I think the third scenario is the most likely one, tbh.

Might be a nitpick, but notice how Harry and Larry are walking next to each other here, but Koffin-K's at the back, just sorta... isolated, like he's not their equal? This is why I'd rather see him as their father figure than an older brother. The way I look at it, the oldest sibling is usually in charge, yeah, but there's still a level of closeness and familiarity between the siblings, whereas Harry and Larry hardly know anything about Koffin-K, ESPECIALLY how lonely he really is. Koffin's the one who gave them a purpose, became their boss, and as a result, they began looking up to him. In contrast, the two spend 24/7 together, bicker, and are practically inseparable, like brothers

Larry also explains how Koffin-K doesn't like leaving his study, but clearly neither Harry nor Larry reflected on why that is and just assumed it's because Koffin's 'stupid.' This reaction kinda rubbed me the wrong way at first, but then I remembered both of these dudes are street rats who don't know any better.

Look, I know the Boogiemen were supposed to fit this common "goofy villain's sidekicks" trope, but both of them clearly grew up in poor conditions, have daddy issues (imo), and feel worthless/useless.

That's why they want Koffin-K's attention so badly.

They need a father figure to reassure them that they're useful, important, and loved.

All this makes them three-dimensional and relatable, just like most UT/DR/UTY characters. It feels like everyone in these games goes through some kind of deep arc, and I feel like this is supposed to be the Boogiemen's

Sure, Harry and Larry are funny at first glance, and they're great at being comic reliefs, but at their core, they are misguided guys who come from poverty/homelessness. I kinda wish the feisty four from uty had more going for them just so I could psychoanalyze them all

Even though it's probably been a few years since they joined Koffin, at least some part of Harry and Larry doesn't seem to believe that they can finally enjoy themselves, even if it means doing hooligan stuff and boring chores. That's why they're 'superficial' and goof off and will grab any opportunity to act childish and materialistic.

A typical case of age regression

What lies beyond the surface is incredibly sad to me.

Now, this is sort of like a bonus section bc I want to explain WHY exactly I see Harry & Larry as brothers, and WHY I think they see Koffin as a dad again, maybe it's bc I'm aroace and I see family relationships everywhere, but the stuff below REALLY REALLY reminds me of these types of dynamics:

They threw insults at each other and had a literal fistfight over which one of them Koffin appreciated/liked more

They cried HARD (of joy) when Koffin told them they're both equally useful and useless, so they no longer had to be at each other's throats. He also said how he recognized that they're passionate about being his lackeys, even if their teamwork needed, well, work

I think it's sweet how they built the float 'within their first days of henchmenry,' according to KK. They could have easily NOT included him, but had apparently warmed up to him pretty soon

Harry wanted to call Koffin to save them + I love how he's CERTAIN he'll do it

Both yelled for Koffin (reminds me of Axis calling out for Chujin for some reason)

Larry called Koffin Keep their home (could have easily said that they left it at the keep...reminds me of the times Starlo called The Wild East Clover's home I really need to stop with the uty parallels)

They cheered for him (and got hit in the face with books)

They get in trouble with him

They apparently copied two of his attacks these 3 are so similar except that Koffin is a more 'head in the clouds' kind of goofy while Harry & Larry are more grounded... but still goofy

And this line... "And quit arguing, you two!" sounded so parental, istg

I forgot to mention some stuff:

After Koffin tells everyone to go to the festival, Harry and Larry quickly look left and right, like they're wondering where he is and/or what to do now that he isn't there. Poor guys really are dependent on him and like to be in his presence

They talked about Koffin a LOT throughout this game. Their conversations are either about 1) Koffin and what they're gonna do to please him, 2) Them bickering, or 3) Some shenanigans they get themselves into. Larry even remembers how Koffin-K always says: "If you're slacking, put some hustle into it"

Koffin doesn't treat any other lackey the way he does Harry and Larry, and none of the other lackeys seek his admiration like the two do

Harry and Larry were both jealous af of Chara for getting all the attention (right after they got into Koffin's study Harry said "Now whaddya need us in here for, see?" and I immediately thought that he wanted to add "you have a new favorite child lacky now so why don't assign more chores TO THEM")

Like I'm not sure if they were meant to come across to us players as a family but for some reason that's how they came across to me since day 1

The actual reason why I see them in this light is not just bc I love found family (even tho I do. a lot), but bc I feel like it would give Harry & Larry more depth than a romance between any of them

[blckbarbiedoll]

Million Dollar Baby

Chapter 5-Love-One

September 28, 2017-Los Angeles, California

You quietly walked into the dimly lit bedroom, trying not to wake your mother. The hot soup in your hands threatened to spill as you set it on the bedside table.

"Ayesha?"

"Hi." You whispered. "I'm sorry. Did I wake you?"

"No. I was about to get up anyway." She slowly sat up.

"Hey, relax. Don't move around too much."

"I have cancer, Ayesha. I'm not made of glass."

"Just be careful." You sat in the armchair next to the bed. "You hungry?"

"No."

"You need to eat."

"I'll eat when I'm hungry." She rubbed her temples gently.

"Do you need medicine?"

"No. I'm fine. Don't you have a match next week to get ready for?"

"Uh, no. I dropped out."

"You what?"

"I have more important things to worry about."

"Did you drop out because of me?"

"Don't say it like it's a bad thing."

"Are you outta your fucking mind?"

"Mom-"

"You can't pause your career because of me."

"I've already had a great career."

"And you'll continue to."

"About that..." You sighed and looked down at your feet.

"What?"

"I'm retiring this year."

She looked at you in disbelief before scoffing. 

"You idiot."

"Can you not?"

"Why would you give up on your dream when you're on top of the world?"

"My dream? I never wanted this."

"Yes you did."

"No, you did. You wanted me to be like you. I never did."

"You're being dramatic."

"I gave up my whole life to do what you wanted me to!"

"Well, I didn't see you trying to do anything else!"

"That's because you never let me go to college! My only skill in life is hitting a ball with a racket!"

"And you're goddamn good at it!"

She covered her mouth as she began to cough dryly. You handed her a glass of water and patted her back.

"You okay?" 

"Yeah."

"I don't think you've ever said I was good at tennis before."

"That's because you're not good. You're extraordinary. And it would be a mistake to retire right now."

"I'm tired, mom. I just wanna live my life." You held her hand and smiled. "I don't wanna be a tennis player anymore. I just wanna be me."

She looked at you with pity as tears formed in her eyes.

"Baby, I am so sorry if I was too hard on you. All I wanted to do was give you the joy that I had when I played. But I just ended up squashing it."

"Hey." You sat on the side of the bed. "It wasn't all bad. When Tashi and I first started, I had never been happier. Or when Art and I would play when I went to go visit him at school. And now that I've started coaching Patrick, I feel like I've finally found what I wanna do."

"Ayesha."

"What?"

"Promise me something?"

"Anything."

"Make up with Tashi and Art. Life is too short to be mad at the people you love."

"We hate each other. That's not love."

"You just said those were the happiest times of your life. Do you really hate each other, or do you think you do because you haven't tried to talk it out?"

"Why are you so wise?"

"Years and years of life, baby."

🎾TWO YEARS LATER🎾

"Game and second set, Donaldson. Six-two. Match is tied. One set all." That set Patrick off immediately. He yelled and repeatedly hit his racket on the ground, breaking it into pieces. "Code violation, racket abuse. Point penalty, Zweig."

You scoffed and got up to walk out of the stands. You pleaded with your bodyguard not to follow you. You found an empty spot by a tree and took your pen out and brought it to your lips.

"Are you vaping right now?" Tashi asked as she walked up to you.

"Are you stalking me?"

"Maybe."

"If you came here to gloat about how Art's gonna win, you can save it."

"For your information, I came to talk to you."

"What could you possibly have to talk to me about?" You took another hit and blew the smoke away from Tashi.

"I need a favor."

"Why would I do you a favor?"

"Because, it isn't for me. It's for Art."

"What do you want?"

"Tell Patrick to throw the game."

"You've gotta be fucking kidding me."

"Patrick doesn't need this win. Art does. He's this close to throwing his whole career away."

"Art's already a fucking star. If anyone needs this, it's Patrick."

"If he was playing against anyone else, I wouldn't be asking this. But if he loses to Patrick, you know what that'll do to him."

"You care about people's feelings now?"

She stepped closer and grabbed your hand.

"Ayesha, please. If Art doesn't win this, I don't know what it'll do to him."

"That's your problem. Not mine, not Patrick's. Yours."

A small gust of wind blew your straightened hair in front of your face. She reached up to slide it behind your ear.

"Ayesha, I..." She stopped herself. You could tell she wanted to say something. Part of you hoped she would curse you out so you could hate her more. The other part wanted her to kiss you again and whisper sweet nothings in your ear. "Think about it." She said before walking away.

"Why didn't you come to my mom's funeral?" You called out.

She stopped in her tracks and turned around.

"Honestly, I thought you didn't wanna see me."

"Mom would've wanted you there."

"Did you?"

"Kinda." You walked over to her. "Tashi, come on. We're grown. When are we gonna stop pretending that we hate each other?"

"Who's pretending?"

"Are you still jealous? It's been twelve years."

"You took my fucking life, Ayesha. You took my career, my brand deal, you took Patrick."

"First you were pissed because I was with Art, and now it's because I'm with Patrick?"

"He was mine first."

"He doesn't belong to you. And neither does Art for that matter."

"He's my husband."

"He's also a person. You know what I think?"

"What, Ayesha? What do you think?"

"I think you're mad at me because you're confused. You don't know what to do with yourself if you can't control everybody. Patrick and I aren't attached to your hip anymore, and you can feel Art slowly slipping away."

"Shut up."

"I think you're convincing yourself that you hate me because you're still in love with me. That's why you kissed me the other day."

"I am not in love with you. You were nothing to me. Just a glorified fuck buddy."

"One day, Tashi, you're gonna look at your perfect little life, and think about your perfect little family, and you're gonna feel this emptiness like something's missing. And then, you're gonna think about me. You're gonna realize that I was right. And all those years you spent trying to hide a part of yourself are gonna come back to haunt you."

"Stop."

"But I'll be fine. Because I know what I am. Do you?"

"Final set. Zweig to serve. Love-one." You heard in the distance.

"I guess you forgot I can read you like a book, huh?" You walked past her and went back to the stands.

[arrowheadedbitch]

Okay, I just spent, like over two hours talking about how a Leanna Firestone song (Tourniquet) is perfect for Shawn and I'll be damned if I don't make a post out of it so here we go, buckle up

Okay first of all, here's the song

Enjoy, it is VERY good

So let's get into this, yeah?

This includes my suicide attempt hc that I mentioned in a previous post in it

I have been listening to this song on loop and it's making me go just a touch feral

"You can get a new car, but you can't forget the way it sounds or feels to crash

High speed impact

Normally the first person I'd call was my dad"

But im imagining that hc/story we were talking about yesterday, so change the words tooooo.....🥁🥁🥁

"You can get a new car, but you can't forget the way it sounds or feels to crash

High speed impact

ALL BECAUSE THE FIRST PERSON I callED was my dad" AUDHDBJEHEJSJDJEJ

But, later on, I realised that the song ACTUALLY says "NO POLICE, the first person I called was my dad" NOT normally, which hits different in this context but doesn't actually change much

And like, him yelling it in front of everyoneeeee

Henry is THERE

They're all like....what do you mean by that...

He will not elaborate but now they know that apparently something bad happened to him because he called his dad?

"Shawn, what are you talking about"

Shawn does the dramatic "I said something I shouldn't have" hand over mouth clasp

He freezes, he stumbles over his words, then he makes a run for it

Everyone is just standing there confused as hell

It's such a not shawn thing to yell out and do tho that even Henry is slightly concerned

Or maybe just confused

Or offended at the implication that he somehow hurt shawn so bad with some random phonecall

And now there are a bunch of people needling him to tell them about wtf he was talking about

Pressuring him to tell them about this traumatic event

ESPECIALLY Gus, who would normally be in the loop about something like this so he's extremely concerned and maybe even a little hurt that Shawn won't tell him

Even Henry, who usually doesn't give a shit about this kind of thing, is trying to get it out of him

He mostly just wants to know what the hell shawn is blaming him for this time lol

But he doesn't get how serious this is

None of them do, that's why they keep trying to get it out of him

They just assume it's another one of those silly things he always has going on, not, yknow....SUICIDE

Not even his mom knows, maybe they'd try to call his mom bc he tells her pretty much everything and find out she ALSO doesn't know

Then they're like....Gus doesn't know......his mom doesn't know.....holy shit maybe this is serious

"Some people die before they're dead!

Building collapse, pressure outweighs the pain

I don't feel sad

I don't feel ANYTHING

Only will when the blood returns

But I'd rather be numb then know how bad I'm hurt"

Someone save my boy

He is emotionally constipated

His mom also might fly down to figure out what's happening after she gets that call

So now literally EVERYONE is bugging him about this

Poor Shawn, there's even a THERAPIST needling him about this traumatic event now 😭😭😭

And everybody wants to know

At this pace he's gonna become a hermit so he doesn't have to tell anyone 😭😭😭😭

"So, I'll keep the tourniquet on

I'll block it out and off

Cuz I don't need anyone

I don't need anyone

I don't need anyone at all

If I keep the tourniquet on"

I think all of this would lead to Shawn blowing up on then, maybe he'd say something that accidentally gives away more of what happened but I don't think he'll be able to bring himself to actually say out loud what happened, at least not to them

Because, well, emotional constipation, anyone?

He wouldn't talk about his feelings at gun point

"Maybe we always start

Back where we end

Don't know if I'm God

Or if I'm sisyphus"

But maybe change to

"I try to act like God

But I'm just sisyphus"

Or something similar

Now, to get into a SECOND POINT ABOUT THE SAME SONG HAHA!

So, this first part has been about Shawn saying the stuff in the song or just really good lines that he would relate to

But this next part is more of an....application for all of this

Imagine with me, if you will

Shawn does a few artsy stuff like....drawing that he doesn't really like to show off a lot, so imagine this,

/Shawn would totally be a good songwriter/

Imagine he wrote a few songs as more of like journal/vent things and he never wants them to see the light of day

This is while him and Jules are together btw

So, Juliet finds out about the songs, he tries to brush them off bc he doesn't like to think about them and he doesn't want her to see them, that kind of thing, but she reads it as insecurity

This is the same woman who went around Lassies back to plan him a birthday party and accidentally invited a bunch of criminals, so, I don't think it's that big a stretch that she would try to do something to make him feel better about his music and go behind his back a little to do it so she can *surprise* him

She grabs the first complete song she can get her hands on, maybe glances through it but makes the mistake of not reading it thoroughly and submits it to a song writing competition, if it loses, Shawn will never know, if it wins, boom! Boost in his self esteem about his songs!

A win-win plan, really

And the song she grabbed was the Shawn version of Tourniquet we've been talking about, obviously

Yeah, it's *her* turn to do something for *him* with good intentions that ends up being awful, she's not gonna be in the doghouse for this one...she's going straight to the pound

The prize for winning the contest? Well, a celebrity sings it of course!

And...well Juliet may have overlooked that it's sung.....on live television...

All classic song writing prizes, maybe you can win a record deal and a bunch of money too or whatever

Not that Shawn would care about any of that

Anyways, her and Shawn go to the place where they're announcing the winners, you know? Big party. Shawn doesn't know what it's about but he's having fun, probably solving a case here too!

But then he wins....

It's the big finale, announce the winner and sing the song on stage and on camera

"And, this song will be our grand finale! The winning song of the song writing contest will be revealed and sung!" So the singer gets on stage and Shawn is all smiles until he hears "And this song is...🥁🥁🥁 Tourniquet by Shawn Spencer!"

And Shawn is going through all the stages of grief, he turns to Jules all "What the fuck did you do" (Perhaps first time she hears him legit cuss??) [Ty Luka]

And suddenly Juliet realises that she should have read the lyrics a bit closer before submitting it

It's the first time she's seen him ANGRY because he is about to get angry

They get in an argument, Shawn storms off, she feels bad

But, the song was on LIVE TELEVISION

Everyone saw it! Everyone HEARD them attribute it to him!

And they don't know he wasn't in on it! They have no reason to believe he's upset about winning!

So, when he shows up at the station, everyone is trying to talk to him about it!

It's AWFUL

Gus is asking about it, but he stopped pretty quick when he noticed how pissed Shawn seemed about it

Henry's been calling him

He's been not answering, obviously

Juliet tries to talk it out with shawn but he's not having it right now, "Shawn, I-"

"You, shut up, you are in the /pound/!"

"*gasp* the pound?"🥺😢

"THE POUND"

And Lassie was gonna give him a hard time and ask questions but he saw that interaction and realised that he shouldn't touch this with a five foot fucking pole

The precinct feels oddly tense today because well....no one's ever seen SHAWN SPENCER so ANGRY

Or really angry at all

He really powers through solving this case and is actually pretty scary the whole time and he won't talk to Jules, they are not in speaking terms right now

Anything that he would normally go to Jules about, he goes to Carlton and acts like she's not even there while he gets Lassiter to do whatever it is he needs

No fun nicknames either, but what really hits? When he HAS to address jules.....he calls her Detective O'hara

So she REALLY knows she's in trouble

Obviously she's gonna do anything she can to make it better, we know Jules

So she asks around for advice on what she should do

Talks to anyone who will listen really, Lassie, Gus, she even goes to Henry

[Side note, I've been imagining she heard the song, like it was playing all throughout so they could hear it a little muffled from the spot they were arguing at, but she probably missed a good chunk because of the arguing and talking, though her not having heard it would be a really interesting turn to take! She doesn't know what was wrong with the song, only the aftermath, that could be interesting]

Anyway, she gets mostly the same advice, let Shawn cool down and then work it out

But, since she talked to Henry, he now knows that not only did Shawn not submit that song, he's pissed that it played at all

Which will affect the way he treats Shawn when they inevitably talk later

Instead of thinking Shawn did this to get back at him, he knows these were private thoughts that were shared against his will, so he'll be a little less defensive and accusatory

Gus doesn't know what exactly the song was about, but he gets to be the most in the know since he's the only person Shawn is really actually talking to right now

A lot of ranting to Gus about this, of course

Lassie has the least know of the situation because an angry shawn is a startlingly untalkative shawn

Shawn takes a week or two to stop being so completely pissed

He talks to Henry at some point, they probably have a moment or something, but he won't tell anyone what the song was meant to be about

Eventually he calms down enough to let Jules talk to him again and she gets to apologize profusely and work her way off the shit list

And now everyone knows about the depth to shawns character that he didn't want them to know about so he'll just have to slowly chip away at that by going back to being the town idiot as usual

Maybe he agrees to sell his songs as long as his name doesn't go on any of them, I dunno

Everything goes back to normal...eventually, but it takes...a while

So shawn ends it just as emotionally constipated as before but now everyone KNOWS he's emotionally constipated

Everyone gets to go "holy shit, this kid actually has emotional depth?!?!??"

And Henry gets to sit and wonder what he did to Shawn that was a "crash", what phone call? What did he do?

And Yeah, most of them forget probably

But also, there's that inkling of.......is he really okay?

Always in the back of his friends minds

Because

They /heard/ the song

Juliet goes over board trying to make up for it in a way that's so endearing shawn can't help but smile

And forgive her, but only after the third pineapple/hj

Gus is a little concerned but he knows Shawn doesn't want to talk about it so he let's it go

Lassie tries not to pry but he's still feeling kind of awkward about it (what is he supposed to do in this situation? Anything? Should he even care? Should be be on O'Hara's side because they're friends? Shawn's side because he was the one wronged? Anyone's side at all? Should he say something? Welp, he just won't do anything, maybe)

Buzz has no idea what's going on but did try to comfort Shawn a few times and it was sweet

Buzz never knows what's going on with the main four but we love him anyway

Henry has the song on loop trying to figure out what he did and if there's something he should do or say about it

And someone should definitely get Shawn a therapist but they don't

And the whole song is soooooo about his dad

So about his dad it hurts

Tho Gus is a little offended at the "I don't need anyone" part and he makes sure his thoughts on that are known

"I spend every night

With the TV on

I can't bear to be

Alone with my own thoughts"

And now you guys won't be able to stop thinking about this either, MUAHAHAHAHA

To the people who talked to me on discord, thank you!

@mores0 @storm-cloud-lightning

And also @j-snapdragon who joined right at the end

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for starting T despite my mom disapproving of it?

I (18 ftm) came out as trans to my mom when i was 12, she didn't like it one bit. she didn't kick me out of the house orr anything like that but she does pretend it doesn't happen and every time i bring up my gender she sanps.

i'm 18 now, i'll turn 19 soon, and the theme of HRT has been a struggle. when i first told her i wanted to start T, she told me there is no way that she's gonna let me do that, that im going to ruin my life, that how dare i ruin my health and my body after all that she did to take care of it, that it's not going to make me a man, that i'm gonna regret it. that was terrible, but after trying and trying i convinced her to let me under the condition that she comed with me to the doctor appointments. that made me happy at first, but now it's backfiring. every time we go to a doctor, she has something to complain about. she always says that they either don't explain things right, that they seem shady, that they are rude, and finally she always says that i shouldn't even be doing this in the first place. this happened 5 times already, the last one i had a meltdown in the doctors office because she started yelling at them. when we get home after te appointments she starts crying and tells me that she does these things because she is protecting me from this sick world and from myself, but all she has done is make me miserable and i've had enough. I booked an appointment with a doctor out of my city and i'm going alone and i'm gonna start T. after all, i'm a legal adult and the only reason i did this under her conditions it's because i don't want to lose my relation ship with my mom and because i believe she is genuinely scared for me, but this has gone too far.

(sorry for bad grammar, english is my second language)

What are these acronyms?

[themthrfkinprincess]

My Astro Observations . . . TROIS

Welcome back to my posts. 😁👋🏾💗

Erm let's get into it I lol haha

This first one is not even an observation ✨but✨ whenever I just hear about Pisces I think of this photo:

This probably does not even freaking make sense to you. Well literally I was on Pinterest and I saw this and the very first thing that popped into my mind was Pisces. Like I don’t know. I think that the seal signifying toothpaste laying on the toothbrush in the middle of a rainy day very mutable water energy. There is something neptunian about it. It’s very Pisces moon to me being specific. Probably doesn’t not even make sense. My cousin is a Pisces, he reminds me of this. Hm. Idk. 🐟🫧🐟🫧

The three fire signs for absolutely no hickory darn dickory reason at all :

OOF Okay. Stereotypical. But these fuckers are just loud for no reason !!! Like fren I PRAY THEE TO SHUT THE FUCK UP🥺🥺🥺. I’m lying lol !! I love loud ppl ahaha !! 😭🤣 Like girl yes let’s yell for no apparent reason at all 😆💖 !! They’re so crazy you can take them anywhere !! But like girl wait cause you don’t want to be in A Quiet Place with them- they will have you UTTERLY. FUCKED😵🤯. Like okay- it’s not even if the person just talks loud or laughs loudly- the fellow sillylington just might quite literally make random noises. These are very spontaneous individuals. And when I speak of this I mean like maybe they might have a good amount of fire placements dominating or have some good influence of it. Like girly your just loud. 😭 I also want to include Gemini partially in this mix cause you guys do weird things out of nowhere I love it- I kind of mentioned this in my last post.

These placements are the Fifth Harmony of astrology- im talking Demi Lavato💀 I'm talking Exo 💀 Just big and loud 💀 You guys give Secret Love Song by Fifth Harmony💀

Taurus, Aries, Capricorn, Sagittarius ,Scorpio remind me of this:

My mom is a Scorpio- with prominent Capricorn influence- she is very much welcomed into the Nation of Idgafsia. LIKE WOW. I aspire to not give a fuck like her !! Like these five placements be minding they bussiness foreralzies !!! Like a bomb in somebody house across the street could go off and mean while they’re in the bathroom setting up their soaps and bodycare right before they get in the shower- like dimming the lights n lighting their candles n everything IM CRYING😭 AOSNDODNSK. These ppl r nonchalant. They’re relaxed and easy to hang around, I love it I love it I love it 💖

like no this be them fr 😭😭😭 :

But personally and specifically I think a Taurus would be the mayor/president of Idgafsia. Using a old friend for observation, I don’t personally know how you could not be cool with one. She reminds me of capybaras.

When I litteraly say shes this gif I mean it. I could put a posionus snake her bed. She would have probrobly wake up and be like “not you put a poisonous snake in my bed while I was sleep. girly that’s so crazy girl let me go to the hospital real quick. ima be back. 🏥🚶🏻‍♀️🗿 ” LIKE HUH??? CQFBHENNR😭. Like if it SERIOUSLY has nothing to do with anything pertaining to them they will rlly just be chilling forreal foreal. 🗿

Aries/Gemini/Water men are so breedable imo

LOL. Let me stop😭

but yeah i could give these men the meanest strap.

Also water sign men are so sexy? wtf??

You can’t tell an Aquarius or Scorpio SHIT. They are very much “erm ackshually my fellow scholar🤓👆🏾 the sun is shuprshingly 📝🤓not the biggest 🤓📚🧪 celestial body within our vast mind boggling universe-🤓👆🏾 you may want to consider looking into stars such Sirius 🤓🤓🤓”

Like yeah dude. We know that. An Aquarius would probably try to explain to you how to walk as if you had not learned that many years ago in your fresh years on this planet. Girl move.

It’s so infuriating!! I CANT count how many times I’ve seen Aquarius like this specifically. Like ouu girly you want to be an encyclopedia soooo bad 🙄🙄 Like I don’t know. You guys really seem like know it alls, it’s really your way or the highway. I wanna prove an Aquarius girly wrong so bad. JUST BECAUSE 😈

They are the personification of finding out your ass was really on the remote after all- and now you just don’t want to admit it. Like we don’t care fren just give us the remote I’m trying to watch Once Upon a Time for the 12948372th time. 😔😞

Like girly wrap it up or whatever 🙄

But no.

No.

I do understand genuinely you guys really like to find information that really helped you out at times-and spread it to dear ones. It's very nice of you seriously- we appreciate it. Thank you my beloved wanna-be-encyclopedia, like rlly seriously my pookie scrimblo sticks. 💗🥰

Speaking of Aquarian influence. MY GOD. Idc if it’s Saturnian or Uranian or whatever. If it’s Aquarian/Capricornian (does that even make sense? I have come to this DEFINITE conclusion; that AQUARIUS/CAPRICORN IS JUST SO SEXY🤯🤯🤯 but the big emphasis is on Aquarius like MY GAWD.

*Dance for You by Beyonce starts to play* Like no . . . Papi Hiddleston is SO. FOINE. *DRAMATIC EXPLOSION* He be having me GAWKIN!! you ever see somebody so sexy you get scared ?!?! 😧 like oooh im shivering in me timbers !!! 😰🫣😨

several Aquarius have done me like that N LOOK. DONT EVEN TRY IT- Yes. I’m a marvel girlie. I might litterly bring up anything marvel related on every post so don’t even be shocked lol. Just expect that from now on im so serious lol. and yo my sister mad whacky she said he’s ugly and talked about his bamboozled hairline what a friggin' bitch😔✋🏾n if you think so too on January 22nd, 2024- on that Monday at 8:17 AM you will slip on a banana peel. 😈 🍌🍌🍌

I’m getting sidetracked BUT I watched that new BBC interview of him after season 2.

AND YO.

HIS VOICE IS SO DEEP WHAT?? ZOO WEE MAMA !!! 🤤🤤🤤

But this is how Capricorn/Aquarius have me😋😋😋

like it’s me bby . . 😜😉 let me be ur girl . . . mmmh stop trippin papi 😚😋🥰

They are sex walking I’m so sorry. This goes for Capricorn too with that Saturn energy. You guys r so hawt n sexay. Like sheesh meowwwww puurrr slay the boots house down yas. 🐈😼 😈

Like jeez let’s play Cool Cat by queen real quick.

Now listen up!

Virgo, Sagittarius, Leo, Aquarius, Aries, Capricorn, and Gemini !!! Im talking to you !! 💗😋 These placements are so accepting imo. Like no- I've just noticed that these placements.

Virgo- I think you guys seem to be good listeners. This goes for Gemini too- maybe because they may share qualities with Mercury. They both do so in a caring sense- such in a sense that if you feel like maybe no one is hearing you/dont feel heard they will maybe at least try to hear you out. I think they r just great when u need an ear 💗

Now Aries, Sag, Leo Gemini and Aquarius I LOVE YOU AGH. Is it me or like I LOVE WATCHING YOU GUYS BE YOURSELVES AHH. You inspire me so much AHH!!

YOU GUYS INSPIRE ME TO BE BOLD N TO JUST BE MYSELF LIKE ARGHH MATEY!! IM GONNA DO IT!!!!!!

I feel like there are times. Where you can feel or felt unsure or awkward about yourself. In my opinion I often see these signs just doing their thing at times- it can be unapologetic. It does not even have to be bold or anything they can just be minding their business doing their everyday thing. I guess what I'm saying is I love how authentic the sign can be.

There is some sort of level of confidence in them that they can stand on. I love it.

And yeah- I've just come to this conclusion that Capricorns, Geminis and Aquarius can just be weird? Like lol. Thier humor can be so weird and so out of the box sometimes- personality too. I feel when they are literally just being them, it is very inspiring to me imo.

Like i feel like you can have a dance off in the kitchen like this at 4am with them idk 😭:

N i guess its why I think these signs (Cap, Leo, Aqua, Aries, Sag) can usually be very sexy easily bc they r just so authentic n raw to me its kind of poetic like im twirling my hair rn n giggling 🤭

I feel like Leo, Aquarius and Scorpio can be like this when hurt:

"I'm so tall, can't get over me

I'm so low, can't get under me

I must be all these things

For I just threw out the love of my dreams"

Of course- when it comes to modality the four signs will obviously have something in common. What I mean with Leo Aqaurius and Scorpio is- they are just so- well- fixed. I noticed they try to act like they don't care about something- when they very much in fact do. You can't jump over them, you can't get under them- you can't get besides them, and like even if you did- it cannot really affect them that much anyway . . . -right? It feels like punching a stone made of jelly on the inside (literally so random- ik fren lmfao) I can punch a stone, It's fine- well not my knuckles ofc- they can be so hard when hurt. Sheesh. Only if you knew that you wobbled up that Jello a little bit on the inside. (Does that even make sense?)

And don't even try to pick up the stone- its too heavy. They ground themselves whatever philosophy they got going on in their noggin🥴🥴🥴🥴- no matter if its emotionally or whatever.

"He is in my eyes, he is in my ears

He is in my blood, he is in my tears

I breathe love, and see him everyday

Even though my love's a world away

Oh, he's got me wondering

My righteousness is crumbling"

It will bother them. And bother them. And bother them. And bother them. Bother them. And Aqaurius with think about it- try to bargain about it imo. Scorpio with feel a very fucking speicfic way about it and not say SHIT. 🙄😒 Leo's are so silly- they just try to act unfazed

but we easily know lol like ok girl-I'm sorry but there is something too whimsical/unserious about them to not know when somethings wrong 😭. But yes-back to the point. In short- its so annoying with them bc three gwrorlies dont just want to admit or submit to things at first. These three live off of cool down time !!! lmfao 🤣 you really got to give them a moment. Maybe a long time too. They care so much. Too much at times- like girl be calm.

I feel like they can do the most. They will do all sorts of things just to stand on something- or an idea or feeling that they had. It is hard for them to be wrong, or to lose. Sometimes I feel like these three need to learn how to truly let things be or go. Not everything has to be a chess game fren. ☹️💗 It like they feel they need to be a few steps ahead- they might feel ashamed or disappointed or sad or otherwise with them.

erm i have few more things to say but im literally tired of typing lol.

Ciao!!

[pink-bunny-angel]

omg!! can u plz write anything abt john bender 🙏🙏 there r like no fics of him im in the trenches out here. THANK U😁

Of course!!! This is my first one, I hope you like it! Sorry if it's not the best!

John Bender X Reader

(warnings: briefly mentions abusive parents)

Today has been the worst. I got up at 2 am and couldn't go back to sleep. I was looking forward to having my morning coffee to keep me awake but, no, the coffee maker was broken. I thought surely that would be it but when I got to school I was quickly proven wrong... We had a math test. Great. All day I was looking forward to seeing my boyfriend, John Bender, but my mom told me no one could come over since I had an F in science.

My mental health has already been plummeting. This is just great. I currently am sitting in my room, crying on my bed and reading my Bible, it's comforting. I gently put it down on my nightstand and stare at the ceiling. I think and think, trying to find anything to look forward to, but it's getting difficult. I stand up with a groan. Everything looks so dull. It's funny how a couple tiny things going wrong can impact someone's day so much, especially when they were already feeling terrible. I pick up my telephone and dial Bender's number and it rings.

"Hello?" I can hear his dad in the background yelling with his friend about something. I hear a couple of things about Bender from his dad. He must've been mad at him

"Um. Hi, Bender we can't hang out tonight.." I utter with a hint of anxiety in my voice. He doesn't pick up on it, he has always struggled to sense emotion over the telephone.

"What do you mean? Come on, y/n. I was really counting on you. My dad has been freaking out over everything all day. This is ruining my night." I know he wasn't purposefully trying to guilt trip me, he just does it subconsciously. I understand why he would be counting on me and why he would want to come over. I feel guilty, which makes me feel even worse.

"I'm sorry, John. My mom said we can't tonight. I wish you could come over. I miss you so much. I've been having a bad day too, not as bad as yours though-" He interrupts.

"I'm sorry. Let's not compare bad days, okay? Lay down. I'll be there in a minute." His voice is oddly gentle. I feel comforted for a second before I'm flooded with confusion.

"My mom said no, John-"

"Honey, I'll be there."

He hangs up. I feel panicked. My mom is not gonna be happy if he shows up. She's gonna think I didn't tell him. She's gonna tell me I did it on purpose... Great. She's gonna send him home and I'm gonna be in trouble. I flop on to my bed and let out a noise of frustration, I don't know who or what I'm angry at, I just feel angry. I hear a light knock on my window... You've got to be kidding me. I stand up and tiptoe hastily to the window. When I open it I see Bender, his medium brown hair is getting blown in his face as he frantically tries to pry open the window from the outside. I chuckle and open it. He slides in. His hair is messy and he is glaring.

"Took you long enough. I could've been blown down and killed!" I hug him. He hesitates. He huffs and hugs me back.

"I'm glad you're here. But I don't want to get in trouble." I look down, I feel my anxiety getting worse and worse. My mom can't know he is here. He holds me closer and buries his face in my hair.

"Don't worry, y/n. I'm sneaky." I can feel him smirking. I scoff.

"Keep telling yourself that." I mutter.

"Woah. You're grumpy." He takes off his boots and coats, throwing them to the ground. He walks over to my TV and grabs the Liar's Moon VHS tape.

"Liar's Moon? I thought you don't like romance movies?" I snicker. He always complains about romance movies, he always wants to watch action movies.

"I don't but.. it's your favorite or something." He says the last part very quiet, as if he doesn't want to get caught doing something sweet. He's trying to change, I remember the night he cried to me about wanting to change. He wants to be nicer and more caring. He's trying so hard. I decide not to tease him about his embarrassment from being caring. I'm so proud of him for trying.

"I love you." I say softly. I can't help but stare at him. He's so beautiful.

"I love you too.. I gue- actually.. I know for sure I love you too." He responds, trying to seem confident. I smile and he tries to look unbothered, I can tell love is still difficult for him to express, but that's okay. We're healing together.

I gently grab his arm and pull him to my bed. He flops on to it.

"Bender, my mom will hear...! Keep it down...!" I scold him quietly. He giggles. I can't help but smile. I quietly climb on to the bed with him. He had started the movie. I lay my head gently on his chest and feel him start to stroke my back with his fingertips. He can be so gentle. Who knew? I yawn and curl into him.

"Sleepy, baby?" He asks softly. I nod and rub my eyes. He gives my forehead the most soft, sweet kiss. "Goodnight, y/n. Sleep tight... I hope the bedbugs bite." I hear him snicker.

"Really..!"

[amostimprobabledream]

Thoughts on Season 4 so far...

I know, I know, I should probably wait til it's finished, but I finally caught up with everyone else after being weirdly nervous about it.

Just what the hell was going on with the first couple of episodes? Like, episode one felt like it was written by someone with only a passing knowledge of the show. The dialogue felt clunky and it all seemed so rushed. It was a really boring episode. The second one was a bit dull too.

I felt so bad for Hughie when he heard his dad was in hospital and getting choked up over not talking to him and wishing he'd wake up so they could talk about the book his dad was excited about.

Fuck Hughie's mother! (If it really is her...) What a bitch. "Uwu, don't yell at me, son I abandoned for 20 years!"

I'm glad Kimiko seems to have been given more of her own story this season. Karen Fukuhara does such a good job with a character who doesn't talk.

On the flipside, I could not give a flying fuck about Frenchie and some guy he likes. I never care when the show tries to introduce non-Supe love interests. It's like Maeve and her dull girlfriend all over again, except I actually like Frenchie.

Wooow, Butcher has been so neutered this season. It's a real fall from his unchallenged rule In S1 & 2, but I can't say he doesn't deserve it after how horribly he treated his team.

Fuck off, Becca, fuck off Becca, Fuck OFF, Becca. God. Every time I see her I have to press the skip button. (Also it's really funny how she's inexplicably more blonde in Billy's hallucinations. What, did she get highlights in the afterlife?)

I don't care if he's a kid, I'm gonna say it: Ryan is SO boring to watch. He's saved by being important to Homelander and Butcher but god, every scene he's in I'm desperate for it to be over.

Has anybody noticed Homelander was talking to Ryan the exact same way Soldier Boy spoke to him when he called him "ungrateful?" He really is his father's son.

I didn't know what to make of Sage. The fandom was hyping her up to all hell so I was prepared to not be very impressed by her because of how much people were raving about her before she'd even done anything. I'm still confused about what exactly her motives are but her scenes with The Deep are pretty funny. I wonder why she told him about the lobotomy? Because she thinks he's too stupid for it to backfire on her? Hmm.

I know Firecracker is awful but she's so pretty and I love listening to her accent. I can't wait for her and Homelander to interact more.

I...am not loving Starlight's subplot? I get what they're going for, they want her to be this activist who's like a figurehead of La Resistance against Vought, but watching her campaigning and complaining about how she's not Starlight, she's Annie, is not fun to watch. I'm also not a fan of her hair or outfits this season, I think the shorter look suited her face more. (Also, the whole abortion thing came a bit out of nowhere. I feel like that might have been something that deserved a bit more exploration for Starlight, Hughie and their relationship?)

THAT BEING SAID - I do like her dynamic with Firecracker, because I think the writers wrote themselves into a corner with her in Season 3 because she's Starlight! She always has to be morally correct and good in every scenario! I'm glad they're making it clear she isn't this perfect angel - even the scene where Firecracker confronts her, Starlight kind of ducks responsibility by saying she's changed and "my mom taught me to be ruthless". Those aren't really apologies and Starlight only apologising because Firecracker is a threat to her reputation is really interesting - and not dissimilar to the scientists only asking for forgiveness when their monster came back to kill them.

Victoria's relationship with Zoe is confusing. I forgot Zoe existed, actually. I'm not even clear if Zoe is her bio kid or adopted one, because if the former, who's Zoe's dad?

A-Train's redemption wasn't something I was looking forward to, but it's being handled fairly decently, way better than how Maeve did like, one good deed per season and got handed hers on a silver platter. I'm still a bit upset that he's basically been absolved of Robyn's death though.

Homelander. Oh my GOD. He's so unhinged this season and we haven't even gotten to the big finale yet. His facial twitches, the little micro-expressions, his pissy little "ShutthefuckUP!" at The Deep, wow. Antony Starr continues to carry the show on his shoulders.

THE LAB SCEEEENE. Jesus. That was like something out of a horror-thriller, yet I was cheering for him the whole time. Antony Starr deserves ALL the Emmys.

[mulders-too-large-shirt]

s2 episode 6 thoughts

sighs as if i just ran a marathon.

so, you know i take a LOT of notes. but this episode was SUCH a ride that i'm gonna try a new method of copying all this down. stick with me and let's see how it goes.

okay here we are. back after our brief and sorrow-filled separation yesterday, in which i had no time to watch an episode. it’s Scully hours. hopefully.

first thing we see is mulder walking into his place in the rain. first thing i do is pause and see if i can analyze the art on his walls. they’re some sort of prints of houses? not noticing anything in particular in terms of style or artist. and it’s definitely a new place where he lives, rip the sleep couch from s1

he takes off his jacket and listens to the message she left him and oh fuck. oh fuck. her voice. the sound of duane yelling. shattering glass.

he goes to her house and sees blood and the open window!!!! the TERROR that man must have been feeling. and he uses that FBI id to sneak right in there.

now he’s prowling about her house in search of clues and looking at her blood and hair left behind which is fucked up, even by my standards 

it was at this point i wrote "he’s like a bloodhound" which is a statement i stand by and can elaborate on if prompted

OH! we see a familiar face. he meets scully's mom. while his hands are soaked in her daughter’s blood. that's okay that's fine (said in a shaking and squeaky voice).

THE OPENING SAID SOMETHING DIFFERENT: DENY EVERYTHING. WHAT DOES IT MEAN?

(at this point i made a note expressing concern that we were gonna watch scully get tortured for 45 minutes straight and thank god that isn't what actually went down. because i would have been deeply upset if that had happened and would have launched upon an unstoppable rant for the next few generations)

scully's mom dreamed about her being taken away and Mulder WRAPS HIS ARMS AROUND HER. again. while still covered in her blood. what a way to meet her family. not how anyone had pictured this going down.

so it's the next morning and alex is in this meeting while mulder is having a come apart. don’t wish him to be here. and no, alex does not get the respect of being referred to by his last name like a good agent on MY account where i make the rules and the rules are that he sucks.

when rationalizing what duane is going through, skinner said “so he’s following orders from the alien voices in his head? That’s an interesting spin on the Nuremberg defense” and yeah! i chuckled. was he wrong there?

skinner made me laugh with that little remark but then went back to pissing me off by telling mulder he was too close to the case and needed to go home. like yes, he’s right, but mulder's gonna put his bloodhound skills to destructive purposes. he's gonna rip up the couch if left home alone. in a dog metaphorical sense.

so alex takes him home which was bad enough (alex must know where mulder lives to do that) and we see CIGARETTE MAN IN THE BACKGROUND????? my original notes had a lot stronger language at this reveal that i felt i needed to tone down but i will keep the "i'll have ur head im sooo serious" part in

okay, back to duane cam. he’s cruising. he cranks his window down when he’s pulled over which is still funny to me. crank windows. how novel. but don't think i've forgotten the situation at hand just because 90's technology is funny to me.

a cop pulls him over and i felt a flicker of hope inside my chest but i knew deep down it was still too early in the episode for anything to be resolved. still, duane pulling out his gun and SHOOTING the cop made my jaw drop

(my jaw kept dropping this episode to an extent that was painful. i just got my wisdom teeth out and while i love enjoying this show, the constant twists and turns are NOT leading to a pleasant mouth experience)

SCULLY IN THE TRUNK REVEAL? <- that was all i wrote when i saw here in there. i feel it sums up the situation.

mulder, somehow, taps into where she's located and gets a visual on her. he is intensely effected and this is why i support his bloodhound-like tendencies being channeled. the man gets results.

alex, don’t ask how he slept. you are a rat and should be banished from his presence during his state of mourning and forever after. 

mulder: doesn't route 229 lead to the blue ridge parkway?

alex: I don’t know <- okay lmao I get that. i get that alex. like directions are hard. you haven't won me over but you did make me laugh here.

mulder figured out where they’re going and says GET THE CAR ALEX and that “he’ll deal with skinner”. ohhh i wanna see this furious mulder deal with skinner. OHHHH i'm so on the edge of my seat this sleep deprived man is gonna <- didn't even finish that sentence due to the next reveal

WHO THE HELL IS ALEX TALKING TO ABOUT “HOLDING HIM OFF” WHY IS CIGGY MAN HERE (can you hear the desperation in all of the notes i was taking. also i don't know his name and i don't care. that's cigarette man or ciggy man if i need to use shorthand and his government name is probably "rat bastard" but i don't care enough to use it)

mulder was, at this point, falling asleep and almost hitting a truck but insisting he can still drive. wild. on the one hand, i get it, because alex is probably gonna drive them off the road and something, but then on the other hand buddy. u almost got plowed in the negative context. someone fetch him a red bull

(and yeah i googled "red bull origins" to see if that would have been possible at the time for mulder to have a sip and can confirm it would have been IF he had gotten it imported from another country. because it wasn't in the us yet. i am a scholar)

alex is listing how many awful things are caused by sleep deprivation. which i understand and again, a good argument to be made, but this grease weasel just wants to get behind the wheel so he can total the thing and i'm not having it 

(he said some like after this and it was just “there’s our turn off” but my hatred for him reached a crescendo at this point like I could have started pummeling)

so they get to the place on the mountain that takes you up- the ski lift thingy. and the guy who works it is like "you can't use it, we don't test it in the summer" and wow. when i tell you what happens next, i hope you are seated. because i had to pause and breathe for a bit.

MULDER PULLS HIS GUN OUT AND THREATENS THE DUDE WHO SAYS HE CAN’T TAKE THE CABLE SKI THINGY UP OHHHHH MY GAWDDDDD 

so he gets access to the lift thingy and he locked alex out… yes exactly right!

the lift operator is like "don't go over 15 miles per hour" and we all know what mulder is gonna do next. he cranks it up way too fast and he’s gonna fall into the mountain and i’m looking around my room like what is going on here. the cuts to Alex’s snaky eyes are freaking me tf out. Why is alex reaching for his gun. WHAT THE FUCK WHY FID HE KNOCK THAT GIY OUT HE CIT THE GENERATOR AND LEFT MULDER UP THERE WHO IS HE CALLONH 

(<- leaving that one verbatim from my notes, too, because i feel it really captures the experience, if you can work out those typos. basically alex took his gun out and knocked the lift operator out, leaving mulder stranded on the ski lift in the sky, then called someone like "i've got him trapped" and i. was experiencing all of this very quickly.)

scully cam. she’s still in the trunk.

so the power's cut on the ski lift and mulder is not gonna just sit around and wait for somebody to help him! he's climbing up the tower and once he’s up there ALEX TURNS THE MACHINE BACK ON SERIOUSLY WHAT IS GOING ON

mulder survives the journey to the mountain's peak, despite almost falling off because he was hanging from outside!! and alex looks soooooooooooo mad.

sad man in the rain finds a car with blood in the wheel and...

HER NECKLACE IN THE BACK!!! AN EPISODE 3 CALL BACK!!! to when he knew eugene tooms was going after her because he found her necklace. oh i'm gonna be SICK

back to our worstie duane, who is in the woods screaming that they took her and that he’s free and I had to pause to breathe a lil. because if mulder lost scully and his sister to aliens...... 

after what was intended to be a commercial break and some wrestling on behalf of mulder, we see duane in custody, but receive no answers on what exactly is going on. he is, however, in a small room with mulder, who looks entirely diabolical.

mulder is stalking this guy- "stalking" in the sense that he is like a predator waiting for a chance to pounce on a rabbit- and he gets up and SEES SCULLY'S BLOOD AND HAIR ON DUANE'S HOSPITAL WRISTBAND???

next occurs what i described in my notes as the "DID YOU HURT HER SCREAMING AND TORTURE SESSION. JAW IS ON THE FLOOR" (my poor jaw. who will think of her in these trying times)

again, mulder is in his animal era, because he starts choking duane. REALLY choking him. i'm shocked. between this and the showing his gun to get to the top of the mountain, we are really seeing how he will throw all of the rules to the side and spit on them to keep the people he loves safe.

(i was also thinking to myself at this point, his ass is gonna get fired)

duane was taunting him, saying "i hope they’re not hurting her too much with the tests” which is. obviously evil. but HOW evil? it's still unclear if he is lying about the whole alien thing, because remember, scully said the bullet in his brain makes him a liar who is unpredictable. and i guess a bullet could maybe do that. i have no experience in such matters.

mulder says everyone STAY OUT OF THERE and yet. alex goes in to see duane. and is like "well i went in there because he was gagging". sure yeah. suspicious. why were you close enough to hear him gag? how do you know the sound of another man gagging, alex? heard it before?

okay this next part was. pretty messed up. i'll let my reactions from being in the moment speak for themselves because i have little desire to relive the matter:

SCULLY IN A WEIRD ASS ROOM???? THE ALIENS? What the hell I’m deeply uncomfortable are they blowing her up like a balloon. Oh I got chills. Negative 

(i never want to see a character blown up like a balloon it's just not for me. i am always gonna be good on that front)

((who is blowing her up and why. i was convinced it was aliens at first but now i think it was actually the Evil Government which has me thinking, what kind of situation led them to developing that technology in the first place?))

mulder pulls alex out of the room “NO ONE is to interrogate the suspect” “except you?” “except me” <- mulder with a god complex because scully is missing and he will do ANYTHING to find her. oh yeah that's juicy. i'm gonna dive into that at a later date.

skinner yells at mulder. yeah he had it coming. even if i enjoy his character arc i do think choking your only suspect comes across as a bit. well. unprofessional, shall we say.

mulder is shocked that duane is gagging like he didn’t just choke the guy and he might have KILLED his own best lead and has to live with whatever knowledge duane had on her whereabouts dying with him 

mulder staring at the corpse. cause of death: asphyxiation. oh he killed that dude. he is gonna be in trouble. 

(that was my first thought, anyway. i wasn't picking up what mulder was putting down, requesting a toxicology report. to me, if you show a scene of a guy getting choked, and then he dies a few minutes later, it's another situation of "i don't know enough about medical stuff to dispute that". mulder, however, WILL dispute that)

next part is copied and pasted from the rough notes again because it's funny:

"alex go fuck yourself i don’t even wanna look at you. getting in the car with ciggy man. “what about scully?” “we’ve taken care of that” ARE YOU THE MFER BLOWING HER UP LIKE A BALLOON CIGGY MAN???? alex is questioning things but idgaf if he’s morally conflicted"

(i saw the seeds of an alex redemption arc being sown here and i didn't care for it. condemn him. to the dungeons.)

mulder’s super insistent that he did NOT kill duane and again i was like. well are you sure. because it kinda looks like you did.

they want him to take a lie detector test which always makes me cringe. if polygraphs have no haters its because i'm dead.

mulder believes that duane was actually poisoned by the government to hide Something and he presents this theory to skinner and his panel which was Bold but you know our boy mulder. bold is what he does.

“why are you so paranoid Mulder” asks some random guy from the council in an annoyed fashion << terribly insensitive thing to say to guy who just had his best friend kidnapped

“I find it hard to trust anybody” (cutscene to asking Alex for his keys) NAURRR YOU CANNOT TRUST THE WEASEL 

alex gives him the keys and leaves with a long lingering stare. okay. freak.

mulder's going to the senator!!!! i was hoping we would get more info on that whole deal- why does this guy sponsor mulder? why does he do it if he knows it's a bad idea? how do they even know each other? is he a republican? - but we really don't gain any insight. he runs into Deep Throat 2.0, who I believe to be a handsome fellow, and he says that They will deny everything

who is they, i mumble quietly to the screen. why do they know all the things??

mulder is in visible and irreparable agony when getting in the car but he still has a funky tie on. despite the horrors his swag must persist.

GASP!! Mulder opens the car drawer and sees the cigarettes of famed ciggy man. alex is too pretty to smoke...

Mulder puts two and two together FAST and accuses alex of being a rat to skinner (which he’s right about!) he says he stands behind his accusation on the record and skinner tries to call alex up

(which was so funny to me because if he was a secret double agent- which he is- and mulder is accusing him of something adjacent to treason- what is a talk in skinner's office gonna do to solve the problem? again skinner is giving me high school principal energy. ur not gonna talk that one out babe but it's sweet you gave it a go xx)

mulder says that scully got too close to whatever the truth is when she had that little tracker thing and so they got her. i find myself agreeing with the guy who believes elvis faked his death. funny how he's often the level headed one

skinner, to my surprise, is taking this accusation of his agents being of the double variety quite well. he actually seems pretty reasonable about the whole thing, and like he truly believes there is some ulterior motives at play here.

but sympathy isn't enough for mulder: “What CAN you do” he asks Skinner, thrusting a finger in his face. “There’s only one thing I can do,” skinner sighs, and he... REOPENS THE X FILES?

(now this did shock me, but i was excited! don't get me wrong, i was just a bit surprised. i was thinking maybe he'd call up ciggy man and try to have a nice dignified chat since he seems so hell-bent on solving things through the power of discussion, but i suppose that reauthorizing the investigation into aliens while a top agent is missing for doing just that is. certainly an approach to the problem at hand?)

mulder walks sadly beneath a water fountain. it was sad enough as it was but then scully's mom walks up and things get even More sad

to somewhat break the air of tragedy: for some reason his face is crystal clear but hers is superrrrr blurry. like i've mentioned before, some shots are normal tv quality, and others look like they were ripped from a VHS. it throws me off each time.

but back to the matter at hand: he gives her scully’s cross necklace and he’s like "why did she wear that if she was such a skeptic" (which is a question i keep pointing out!!!!!!) and we learn the answer:

it was a gift from her mother on her 15th birthday. which i can and Will analyze in depth at a later date. the gift of a religious object to further solidify the need from her family to be Perfect and never fail and do exactly as they say. but scully choosing to wear it anyway, decades later, to hold her family close, no matter the pain of disappointing them. when she mindlessly reaches for the pendant to roll in her fingers, does she feel the warmth of family or the chill of their expectations she can never meet?

but. mulder tries to give her the necklace. and she says that he can give it to her when he finds her. not if. when.

he goes to a hill and looks up at the sky.

this episode was intense, and i will be gnawing on it like a bone for a while. seeing mulder and scully's mom together made me incredibly emo. seeing him break all the rules to find her also made me emo. trying to figure out if skinner is a real one and the ratio to which alex is genuinely evil vs just stupid were some serious cases of mental chess. and duane. we all wanna know what his deal is. and where is alex! he doesn't have to come back, don't get me wrong, but... did he fall off the face of the earth? go back to massachusetts for a dunkin run? i know that smug new englander look he has about him. don't sit here and tell me he grew up in kansas i won't buy it.

anyway, i saw the description of the next episode- so we're going back to an x file. i find it hard to imagine that mulder will have emerged from bloodhound mode by then, so maybe he thinks it's connected somehow and will go on a quest for answers in that direction- a vampire direction? hmm. guess i'll just have to tune back in!