#and feels he is being left behind :)
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Lost boys
#mayhem art#star wars#anakin skywalker#obi wan kenobi#anakin skywalker fanart#obi wan kenobi fanart#star wars art#this one was sitting in my drafts for about a month. idk why I was holding onto it -cries- anyway#this is shortly after Qui-Gon's death. Both of their lives just got flipped upside down. Anakin is traumatized by having to leave#his mother behind‚ then his Master's sudden death‚ and he's left with no certainty in his future.#Obi-Wan just witnessed his Master die‚ helplessly‚ then having to take care of this little human in his Master's stead‚ meanwhile feeling#wholly inadequate to be so suddenly knighted let alone immediately becoming a Master and taking responsibility for another being.#Both of them losing the constants in their lives. left uprooted. the only anchoring point being each other.#I imagine Obi-Wan wouldn't reach out to Anakin first‚ but if Anakin expressed compassion with him‚ grief‚ and his need to feel secure‚#Obi-Wan wouldn't turn him away#this was just my excuse to give them a proper soothing hug in their time of mourning
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Bonus 8: How met your mother (CSSR design by @qourmet!)
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#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#cangse sanren#wei changze#jiang fengmian#It was important to me that WCZ had the hereditary mole. I will die on this hill.#I have been *waiting* for the day to finally arrive when I could finally make this comic. It's been marinating for months.#My mission is to redraw all of qour's character designs one day. They are just *that* good.#CSSR has the vibes of a wandering menace who shows up in towns like a stray cat arriving at a new doorstep for treats. 10/10.#While YZY strongly leads us to believe that JFM was in love with CSSR and that's his whole motivation behind taking wwx in-#-I do think this is (once again) rumour being presented as reality. It's the juicer story to tell after all.#It is still possible that he did love her! But I think that story undercuts the relationship he also had with WCZ.#Yall ever think about how JC and WWX parallel their fathers? How Wei Changze also left the Jiang Leader's side? I do.#Unlike JC though It is far more hilarious and plausible to imagine JFM begging to be CSSR and WCZ's third. You know he would.#My wild headcanon is that JFM and YZY are in a mlm and wlw arranged marriage situation. Deeply unhappy as partners. Better as friends.#they care for each other and I'll admit that there is a beautiful tragedy in them having romantic feelings for each other the whole time.#But I am also here for the gaffs. Let them be unfulfilled homosexuals together.#Meanwhile cssr and wcz are having incredible hetrosexual sex in a bisexual way that WILL leave him pregnant by the end of it.
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See you tomorrow
#Aiden has been extremely busy lately#they see each other during lunch time and sometimes they would walk home together but thats pretty much it#Ana cant help but feel lonely#yeah they go on dates from time to time but Aiden feels so out of reach sometimes#She cant really get mad at him#if hes not studying he's working at the hospital or volunteering at the daycare#hes working hard and Ana feels like shes being left behind#Shes still so clueless on what to do with her life#the sims4#ts4#sims 4#ts4 sims#the sims 4 screenshots#the sims 4 screenies#the sims 4 gameplay#ts4 gameplay#ts4 screenies#ts4 screenshots#simblr#daa
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Knowing “Nerdy Prudes Must Die” was the first idea the Lang brothers had for Hatchetfield makes the whole series so much funnier.
Like, did they know in “The Guy Who Didn’t Like Musicals” that the weirdo who demanded a hot chocolate would be the leading man of the high school horror show?
Did they know the prude they mentioned a few times would be a homophobic murderer who defiled a corpse, fucked a ghost, and became a vessel for dark lords?
Was the homeless man joke in BEFORE the recast because they were still brothers, or not?
#nerdy prudes must die#the guy who didn't like musicals#hatchetfield#team starkid#starkid#for those who didn’t put it together#the hot chocolate boy in TGWDLM is supposed to be Peter Spankoffski#but was recast after Robert Manion got put on hold for a while after a scandal then seemingly decided to go full burned bridges with them#also as a side note#that ‘obnoxious teen’ was also supposed to be the ticket taker in Black Friday but was rewritten to be a Joey character#because Robert Manion was going to be playing Ethan Green in the same scene against him#and then the ticket taker was going to be Richie Lipschitz in NPMD#but then Joey Richter was chosen to take over as Pete#so Ritchie was separated off and given to Jon Matteson#so the ticket taker went from being a Pete cameo to a Ritchie cameo to just an entirely unrelated character#I feel like I know too many behind the scenes details about these shows just through TVTropes#also does this technically mean Ritchie’s death is kind of sort of a way for the Langs to kill a Robert character again even after he left?#oh and the homeless man was Ted the whole time#nightmare time is a trip
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what if bill is jealous of the pine family because they remind him that he doesn’t get to have a happy family because he burned them all. and ford having almost gone down the same path as him (unappreciatedly smart, weird, outcasted, and then gaining access to greater knowledge and almost destroying the world) but stops and saves his family even after all the shit that’s happened (this is the one timeline where both dipper and mabel survive, after all). he gets to be happy. they all get to be happy, together.
he must hate them as much as he hates himself, doesn’t he?
#I haven’t read book of bill yet#but from what I’ve seen this sounds right#also the pain of being broken up with only for them to do great#and you feel left behind#toxic yaoi my beloved#bill just wants to be happy but he won’t let himself be happy either#if he can’t be happy no one can#bill cipher#gravity falls#book of bill#stanford pines#billford#I wonder if bill ever looks at the pines and imagines being part of their family#uncle bill who gives the twins candy#does weird arts and crafts with mabel#theorizes on mysteries with dipper#helping Soos make attractions for the mystery shack#plays poker with stan#is ford’s ‘‘friend’’ (husband)#all playing DDMD with all of them and their crazy ideas and math#bill cipher needs a hug
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Being constantly surrounded by the presence of a loving God sounds great until you realize you never know when his freaky fuckin eyes are gonna show up to check on you.
And man. They do it a LOT.
#primus please let the mech breathe#what i want to emphasize most with this iteration of optimus is the inherent fucking terror of being made a prime#really pick at those little threads of how fucked the matrix as a concept is. same with the staple tropes of op himself#the idea in tfp that it can entirely change your personality. and that if you lose it you cannot remember your time with it#those implications send me spiraling. to what degree is optimus the same being as orion pax? do you forfeit your soul to be a demigod?#do you fucking die to become a conduit for the higher being that made you? letting it puppet your mind and body like a parasitoid?#if death in transformers is simply rejoining the allspark; if the soul is something splintered off from the whole;#and if to die as a cybertronian is for that fragment to merge with the whole once again. is a prime not fundamentally a dead mech walking?#a prime stands with one pede in the afterlife and one in the land of the living and has to keep up with both at once#constantly seeing visions from a plane his processor was never meant to comprehend with optics that were never built to see it#forced to adapt into an elevated being as much as a frame that still has silly things like wants and needs and emotions and base coding can#how does a mortal live when his body is no longer just his body; but a vessel fir something holy and a tool fashioned to heal the world?#when he can never truly be alone again and he has to simply live with the ever present knowledge that he is being watched#both by his god and by the world#how does one live knowing not even their thoughts are private? when your god may be living but man he does not get the idea of boundaries#guess it must be hard to grasp personal space and all that when youre an ocean of souls that left it behind#maccadam#transformers#wayward sparks#optimus prime#art tag#sometimes i feel kinda bad for putting this bastard through The Horrors. if ws gets made all the way he will be thrown so many bones#only sometimes tho >:3
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the Sully kids' reaction to Jake saying Spider "knew everything" breaks my heart.
they knew him better than anyone else, better than their parents. they knew his love for Eywa, for Pandora, for The People, for the clan, for their family. they knew he would never tell the RDA anything... not willingly at least.
they knew they were leaving because Spider would be tortured for information, he'd be forced to reveal their home, their plans, their numbers, their weaknesses. their brother would be tortured and they were being forced to leave him behind.
they knew they were being forced to find a new home, without their brother, because their dad knew he would be tortured.
#I like to think. for the sake of my sanity. Jake knew Spider would be loyal to them. that he would only blab once broken by torture.#anything else would kill me. the level of anger would be lethal.#but regardless. I think the kids would also need to believe the same thing. they *need* to think their dad has faith in their brother.#but back to the reactions themselves. the heartbreak and confusion on Kiri and Tuk's face. the way Lo'ak looks dissociated.#we can barely even see his face. but even Neteyam looks surprised and painted. even if its kept under a calm guise#(I will never let anyone convince me 'tey didn't love Spi. James. give us more about them please. more than these little crumbs)#they were just little kids and he was their big brother#he was Lo'ak and Kiri's best friend#Tuk was his baby#I feel it in my bones that Spi and 'tey were brothers with a complicated history. I know 'tey was scared to lose him.#I don't have proof but I know James is cooking up something with them#they would never believe Spider would just give them up. but that opens up their minds to so many things to think about#they had to be so scared for him and angry he was being left behind#(especially since in the comics Kiri. Lo'ak. and Tuk risk their lives to save him when he was kidnapped by Nash)#avatar 2#avatar the way of water#spider socorro#miles spider socorro#miles socorro#kiri sully#lo'ak sully#tuk sully#tuktirey sully#neteyam sully#lo'ak#kiri#tuk#tuk tuk#tuktirey#neteyam
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To be honest I am a huge Nalu shipper. But the thing is I want to know the difference between the way Natsu cares about his guildmates and Lucy. Like what is the obvious difference since that boy sees every as Nakama so how can we say that the wag he cares about Lucy is different?
Like even when Erza passed away? (All the way back in first season there was a segment where the guild was gathered at her grave and all) Natsu was still very reactive. Plus he was also said to be depressed even when Lisanna passed.
What's the difference between all of them and Lucy?
the fact that he stayed. the fact that before he met Lucy, Natsu wasn't one to stay in a group or even want to work with anyone besides Happy at the start of the story. hell, he was ready to just file Lucy down as "New Guildmate" once they reached Fairy Tail
but then, Lucy doesn't leave. she follows him on his mission to save Macao despite her not needing to or even really understanding everything about it. she stays and then fights with him and saves him. it's no secret that Natsu is strong and can take care of himself really well. he's been going on solo missions for years now, and no one has really stopped him, but that means he's been in a lot of sticky situations where he and Happy are on their own and have no backup. and yet, without asking, Lucy offers it
and i think this is the moment when Natsu considers that maybe it's okay to have someone there to have his back (sans Happy)
"but Natsu only needed Lucy for the next quest because of the requirements," well, Natsu also wouldn't have taken or even considered that quest if it weren't for Lucy, yeah? he was not a team player (in the picking job's sense) or really wanted other people to help him on his quests sans Happy. and then he goes and picks a job that caters to their team whilst ensuring that Lucy can't say no
or maybe i'm reading too much into it 🤷🏻♀️
or maybe Natsu's got horrible abandonment issues that he will latch onto people so fast (Igneel & Lisanna) but also cause him to distance himself so far when left behind (his 1st time at the guild, Lisanna's death). Erza and Gray are Natsu's closet friends after Lisanna and yet they cannot reach him when he closes himself off. and then we have Lucy, who stuck by and had his back, so who is to say Natsu didn't make some contingencies to ensure whether or not she'd join him?
but maybe it's the rose, colored ship glasses i have on
because yeah, Natsu cares for all of his guildmates. the power of friendship is his biggest motivator. when we meet Natsu, our first introductions of him is defending his guild's reputation from Bora (who was using it as a guise for human trafficking) and saving Macao. and our 1st big arc (Galuna Island), where Natsu adamantly refuses to allow Gray to use Ice Shell and sacrifice himself despite how antagonistic they've been to each other. we get Natsu 100% at Erza's defense throughout the Tower of Heaven and he is even ready to defend Wendy though they only met hours ago
Natsu is a character with a bleeding heart and cannot help but wear it on his sleeve, but we don't really see him allow others to fight his battles or have his back until Lucy comes in. to be honest, i don't even think he had his heart on his sleeve until Lucy. he still has a bleeding heart (i don't think anything could stop that), but he was not ready to be open in receiving company because he was so used to it being ripped away from him
that being said: of all the characters he interacts with, he finds Lucy to be someone compatible enough for him to start going on team missions and inviting her on them (for example, his 1st S-class mission, which he stole, he went to her house to show it to her. the fact that part of the reward was a celestial key might be a coincidence, but i wouldn't doubt it as Natsu and Happy's trump card in case she refused)
but yeah, the difference is that he stayed and didn't push her away at the beginning, but instead continued to invite her along with him to the point that doing a mission without Lucy wasn't his regular anymore. compared to the rest of the guild, of whom he spent most of his childhood with, even if he spoke to no one, they would still be around and talk to him anyway. he might not invite them on job and only challenge them to fights, but the guild is his home and a constant in his life, a constant he needs (bc heavy abandonment issues).
"okay, but he still pushed her away after he watched Igneel die right in front of him. and he left the guild for a whole year, too. so what's the difference there?" you may ask.
so 1) Natsu never thought the guild would disband. he returns to Fiore after a year and is the last to know that they disbanded. he assumed, like all the other times before and while he and others were sealed for 7 years, that Fairy Tail would still be there when he returned. he assumed that his disappearance would not impact so hard because the guild would still be around and Lucy would have the others with her
which, did not happen :)
and like, so many guild members go off on jobs, quests, or even just leave for an indiscriminate amount of time (which i, personally, believe was his rationality for leaving), so him being gone for a year was nothing! right? no harm, eh? his plan was never to be gone forever :))))
2) he just watched his father die and lose any chance of having some semblance of a long term reunion with Igneel. he literally lost one of his main driving motivations for getting stronger and taking jobs. before Fairy Tail, before anyone, it was Igneel. and to learn that a) Igneel was always with him to begin with and b) he only got to see him for less than a day after 14 years of nothing......i would feel lost too ngl
man's needed space from everybody. and he also needed comfort, but Natsu has been shown not to really be the character who asks to receive comfort (and when he does receive it, it's usually when he's already emotionally compromised). he is in the habit of shutting people out after being abandoned or losing someone close to him, with his next rationale being to "get stronger" in order to prevent what happened in the past to ever happen in the future.
anyway
what makes this different? well for one, he sent the letter only to Lucy (or it's implied since no one else is shown getting one) because of how the two spend most of their time together. even the line that goes with the panel makes it sound like Natsu is unsure on how the note will be received (maybe even hesitant? but that could be my own hopes)
and one of the 1st people he reunites with after a year is Lucy and we get such a similar parallel to the first chapter of Fairy Tail between the two as if the narrative itself is slotting them together to say "ah yes, now everything is back to normal and new journeys can begin"
but yeah, this is just a long way of saying, that Natsu does love his friends and guildmates but even when he is close to them, he kept to himself (and Happy) and sort of stayed in their orbit but always with some emotional distance because of his fear of abandonment. and then you have Lucy where he will stay for and allow her to orbit around him and he will invite to new adventures no questions asked
that's the difference
#this is 100% unrelated but reading the older chapters had me realize how Cana's hair is a lot curlier than in the anime#my girlie's waves got straightened T^T and they were so gorgeous too#also love the translator's notes at the end of each volume <3#fill me with so much joy and why they chose to go in what direction for each translation#this post is longer than i thought oops#like i was gonna leave it at 'bc Natsu stayed for her' and then be done#but no i can't just leave it there and not back it up#also me saying Natsu stayed for Lucy is not me trying to undermine his other relationships in the guild#Natsu's bonds with Fairy Tail are the very core of this story so to say that he loved any of his guildmates less would not be right#his love for Lucy is different#it started the same but shifted as the arcs progressed#his priorities with her are different than they are with his friends and guildmates despite being on a fairly even level#fun fact! i started writing this 6 hours ago. had class. got distracted w/ old ft plot while searching for manga panels. and now we're here#btw: this is not excusing Natsu's act of leaving without so much of a warning. this is just explaining his personal rationale and emotions.#ofc Lucy was right to feel upset and betrayed for being left behind by Natsu and then to be alone bc the guild disbanded. i would too!#but we aren't talking about that. we're talking about what makes Natsu's feelings for Lucy different from the rest of the guild#also sorry i got a little lazy with the manga panels after the first couple T^T and mayhaps distracted (rereading Igneel's death is sO fun!#fairy tail#natsu dragneel#nalu#fairy tail nalu#ft meta#also like how natsu loves is very open and through action#no matter whether its familial or platonic or romantic#how he shows it is the same fierce protectiveness and attentiveness#personally i see natsu's love being in equal fervor for all. none really trump over the other. they're just different
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do you think the reason agatha’s trial felt weird is because she was the only one who did not actually buy into the mythos of the road since she knew the truth? like that was why no perspective change and all the other reasons why people thought it was a fake trial
#agatha all along#aaa spoilers#txt#i really liked the idea behind how the witches road came to be#like showing her and nicky coming up with the lyrics and everything#but i felt like there was a lot of these last two episodes that felt weird or jarring#i think that’s partly the fault of it being such a short run time for the whole show in general (tbh that’s probably like most of it)#but there were just also weird choices? idk#like jen’s big declaration about protecting them in honor of Lilia or w.e and then just.. flying off to nowhere??#or the way Both billy and agatha kept switching how they felt about each other with like every sentence#I did really like her thing where she helped him get tommy a body though#and her and rios vibes were off too. like it felt like there should have been a little more build up before they fought after the road?#like when they were still talking on the road it felt like they could have done more with it#just like jen getting her powers back could have been more#or billy standing up for agatha could have been more#billy’s homecoming and attempting to banish agatha too#I liked that his parents were there but it was so quick and then he just.. leaves again?? no problem?? and I guess they’re fine with it now#like it felt like the things they did well. they did really well#while everything else felt.. idk.. kinda flat?#which honestly was the same feeling I had after watching agatha’s trial episode#honestly this show need at least another 3 or 4 episodes if not more#and I know people are going to make this all about agatha and rio but i really don’t think that’s the issue#i do think the story could have benefited more from showing more of their actual backstory or a few more interactions with them or just#like i said earlier done more with what they had. again that scene on the road before rio dips could have been used way more effectively#and I don’t mean in like having them be soft or lovey like I know a lot of people wanted (never be against that) but I don’t think it was#needed.. but Something was??#i feel like overall what everyone went through on the road didn’t actually truly effect them or change them?#like jen left. agatha and rio were like back to liek the road never happened. everyone else but billy is dead#i think the only person who was truly changed was maybe billy?#which makes the whole journey feel so unsatisfying? like things could still have ended the same while still showing them changed? idk
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ok so I've had an au in my head forever called the deserters where Marco, to his horror, survives the last suicide mission and goes a little crazy so he steals the time matrix and uses it to stop ax from being absorbed
what follows is marco trying to convince ax not to go back to the andalites while also dodging everyone who wants to kick his ass, including his own teammates, but I've always had problems with the beginning
HOWEVER...
"My name is Marco Alvarez, and I am my father's son," do kinda hit as a first line I won't lie
#shut up az#animorphs#Marco feeling left behind bc he didn't die and becoming what he resented most in his own father#going kinda crazy about Ax. Tobias asks him why he didn't save Rachel and Marco realizing he did actually consider it#but it put Ax in too much risk so he dismissed it so quickly it didn't even register as an option#Marco realizing the depth of his own ruthlessness is deeper than he had even known and then being like ok. so what.#Ax is alive so genuinely fuck the rest of the universe - Marco Alvarez 2006
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Does Janeys know that Brakul has a wife and son? How would he react if he learned?
He actually does know and has known pretty much from the beginning.
Early on in his stint as a POW turned mercenary, Brakul would repeatedly invoke his wife and son as reasons he could or could not do certain things + to insult Janeys like 'okay but some of us have actual, tangible responsibilities in this world and people who depend on them. Like my wife and son, who I will be returning to immediately when my contract is over. You're never going to see me again. On account of my wife and son.'
When he started actually Liking Janeys and wanting to be with him, and seeing a chance to Avoid All Consequences And Never Go Back Home, he gradually reversed course (and attempted to rationalize it to himself) like "Ahhh they'll be fine. I mean everyone probably thinks I'm dead and/or an oathbreaker anyway so Sirudan's gotta be remarried by now. My brother probably got in on that, and he really has his shit together so they're in good hands. Honestly it will be worse for them if I go back. They're better off without me. They're fine. It's not a big deal. I'm soooooo single and unattached btw" And Janeys was like "Okay. Yay."
13 years down the line Janeys almost never thinks about it and when he occasionally remembers it's like
He does not give a shitttt about the wife/child abandonment angle whatsoever, but he's aware that Brakul still has some attachment to them and regrets over skipping out, and he's kind of insecure about it. The concept of Brakul having a child out there completely independent of their whole Thing also makes him uncomfortable in ways he can't really put his finger on. He's not actually scared that Brakul will return to his ex-wife though, like even with all his profound insecurities and abandonment issues he knows there's not a chance in hell that he's gonna actually attempt to make amends. Bottom line is he doesn't like to think about it, and mostly doesn't have to.
#Hibrides found out about his Abandoned Wife And Child while she was first pregnant and after their relationship had begun to sour#and Will Not let him forget it#She doesn't honestly give a shit about them either it's not really out of concern for the people he left behind but#more a way of Very directly confronting his avoidant tendencies (and also just an easy way to emotionally wound him)#Like she sees him as someone who will do everything in his power to avoid discomfort and the consequences of his choices and#then has the audacity to whine and mope about how guilty he feels. And then will make excuses if confronted.#And Janeys coddles and enables him like 90% of the time so he just keeps doing it. Which is absolutely infuriating to her.#(Her perception is pretty spot on btw it's just Occasionally applied unfairly to situations where he was actually a victim)#So being like 'hey how about the wife and child you abandoned huh. You gonna do that again when things get uncomfy?' gets#through to him. And making him actually acknowledge it or at least feel really fucking bad about it is like. emotionally satisfying#I want to be clear that she has the least control of her circumstances of the three and the vast majority of my authorial#sympathies but I just didn't want to write her as an absolute righteous perfect perma-victim.#So when I describe her doing stuff out of vindictiveness or occasional straight up cruelty it's not like 'she is a bitch' I just want#her to be like. a full human being who shouldn't have to be 100% innocent and devoid of malice in her circumstances to be#sympathetic.#Which I think Should be clear but the whole situation is one that like. In a fandom context would ABSOLUTELY get warped into#her being an Unsympathetic Mean Bitch while her associated gayboys get to be Sympathetic And Nuanced
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I just think Tallulah gets to be upset about this. “It’s not Wilbur’s fault” “He’s not a bad dad” “He loves his daughter so much” yes! These are all true! And it’s not his fault! But he’s still not there. And Tallulah has gone through so much and still hasn’t seen him, the one time he was around was the one time she wasn’t, and all she has are letters and “I’m thinking of you always” and things that used to be theirs together, but he’s still not there. She’s waited and she’s been patient and she’s loved him all the same, and he’s still not there. Like yesterday, and the day before, and the day before, from the happy milestones to the traumatic events, he’s still not there.
She knows that it’s not his fault, but it doesn’t change the fact that he’s absent. That in and of itself just adds to the sorrow, because she knows why he’s gone, and she’s been told time and time again it doesn’t mean he doesn’t care, she knows this - it doesn’t mean it doesn’t sting, that it doesn’t hurt, that she doesn’t yearn for her father to be there more than anything in the world, and he’s just not there.
So yes, she gets to be upset, and be caustic, and stomp her feet and write bitter messages, and be angry and vitriolic, because she’s a little girl missing her father, who feels things with her whole heart and soul - and that means she gets to feel the ugly parts of it, too.
#it’s like no wilbur isn’t at fault. especially if we’re talking about cc wilbur. but fuck man of course she’s gonna feel like this#this doesn’t make wilbur a bad person! he’s just a missing one. and Tallulah feels all the misery and bitterness as a daughter left behind#where is her father kissing her injuries and reassuring her? where is her father protecting her? hugging her at the end of the day?#Wil isn’t around to do this and she wants him back and he’s not going to be back. not for a while. and it’s not his fault but it doesn’t#stop it from being upsetting. she’s a little girl#and at least she has phil. her dad. who’s there time and time again. and it doesn’t make him somehow morally better or wtevr. he’s there an#Wil is not. and he’s going to continue to be there as a solid figure in tallulahs life that she needs#idk man like. fuck#lmao relating my own experiences from here below in the tags ✌️#as someone who’s been in that position? a parent absent for reasons outside of control? yeah it’s sucks. and I love them and they love me#*with a parent I mean I wasn’t the parent lmao#and it will never be the same. and when they were gone and missing things I was furious at them#that resentment grows and then it fades and sometimes bitterness strikes again and it’s how it goes. love is still there#and it’s no one’s fault. it just is. and what is is messy#anyways#mcyt#qsmp#q!tallulah#q!wilbur#z speaks
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Normal boy spotted.
[First] Prev <–-> Next
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#wei wuxian#wen wing#wen remnants#Wen ning#This scene felt like a bit of a fever dream. We have (with little to no comedic exaggeration):#1) WWX whistling and somehow summoning not one but several horses to his side.#2) meeting the surviving Wen sect members who insist on not leaving Wen Ning behind.#Only for it to cut back to Wen Ning ripping a guy in half. (Not pictured here. I tried so hard but I could not make it look good).#Personally I feel like we moved on way too fast from the horse thing. Where did they come from? WWX couldn't have brought them.#He *just* found out there were more people left behind.#So...are the from the Jing sect? Are these disloyal horses? Or does WWX have incredible animal charisma skills?#It feels a bit like a DND player asked to call in some horses and the DM said 'Sure if you roll well enough' and it was a natural 20.#Maybe this is just my own envy cutting through. God damn I wish I could whistle and summon a horse to my side whenever I needed to.#I know I should not be so hung up on the horses. But my brain is cooked. I have been so sick.#The kind of sickness that makes it hard to breathe. Or think. Or have any energy at all.#I wish I had good commentary to write here. I just...really want a nap. And for October to restart to make up for all the lost time.#Thank you all for being so kind and patient once again. It truly means a lot.
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“Don't you hate her?”
Furina turned, eyebrows raised in confusion. “Huh?”
“Your creator. Don't you hate her?”
The girl pondered a moment, looking unsure. “I..don't know.”
“You should,” he asserted. “All this time you had to suffer alone, for what?? People who didn't even care about the real you?? People who were ungrateful and selfish and only cared about themselves, at the end of the day??”
“Not everyone is like that,” Furina protested, shaking her head slowly. “I ..did suffer, but it all worked out in the end. Besides, I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for her-”
“The same could be said for my mother,” Wanderer interrupted, eyes flashing. “I came into being because of her, but that doesn't make her a good person, or a good parent. She hurt me. These two facts can coexist. Focalors created you, yes, but she also subjected you to 500 years of suffering where you couldn't confide in ANYONE or risk losing everything. Wasn't that awful?? Wasn't it a horrible time? You were all alone living on a hope and a prayer, and if it went wrong, it would have been all for nothing. You were a means to an end, and what do you have to show for it? Sure, everybody was saved and all was well, but now you're just - a person, and people hate you for what you did, people hate you for what you DIDN'T do. Was it worth it?? Are you satisfied?”
“I am,” she nodded, after a beat. “Because, this is what I was created to do. And, I'm free now. I don't know what I'm going to do, but at least my life is mine. I can do whatever I want. I can live.” Wanderer's jaw clenched, and Furina frowned, nervously. “..why are you so angry?”
“Because SOMEONE has to be!” he shouted, voice cracking. “I mean- I heard about the trial, they were gonna kill you- they lured you there because you wouldn't talk, right? And then after everything, did anyone apologize to you or- praise you, for all the hell you went through? Anything??”
“.. Neuvillette is taking care of me.”
The pain on Wanderer's face was almost palpable, at that.
“..anything else?”
“.. it's fine," she tried to appease. "It's not like I serve any purpose anymore. Like I said, I did what I was created to, so I'm not of any use and-”
“Stop.”
“..what?”
“STOP- talking like that,” Wanderer snapped, eyes suspiciously glossy. She sounded so much like him, who he used to be, and it hurt so badly.
A blank sheet of paper has infinite potential, but it is nothing as long as it is empty, he'd said, a good while ago. He'd been wrong about himself, and Furina was wrong now.
“You're not just - what you were made for. You don't - what happened to you is wrong. You're not DISPOSABLE now that everything is over.”
“It- it was for everyone's sake, compared to my suffering, it's obvious what's more important! I had to save them! It’s what I was born for! It doesn't matter -”
“It DOES,” he yelled, eyes glowing an almost neon icy blue, and she startled. “Stop acting like your suffering was something that was necessary. Stop acting like it was just for the greater good. That doesn't matter! The fact of the matter is that you suffered, and you were hurt, and you're STILL hurting! And- barely anybody is there for you..your creator, she should have been there for you, she should have protected you, but she didn't. She didn't. And you - you have every right to be angry with her, for not being there for you. For you being unable to live, until now. It was wrong, even if it was, as she claimed, for the greater good. Don't defend her.”
"She loved me-"
"And she left you, so not enough."
Just like my mother ..
“...Wanderer,” Furina ventured, worry all over her face.
“What?”
“You're crying…”
..oh. He hadn't even noticed, but his cheeks WERE wet, and he put a hand to one with a start, quickly scrubbing at his face. “Ah-” and he pulled his hat over his face, to hide it.
“..it was a lot. I often wondered when everything would end. I wanted, to tell someone so badly what was going on,” Furina admitted, and Wanderer looked up, eyes red from weeping. “There were a lot of times I didn't think I was going to make it, but. But I did, and, and everything was okay.”
“But are you?”
There was a long pause, and the two of them stared at each other until Furina slowly shook her head no, hot tears streaming down her cheeks.
“See? You're - we're both so messed up, from everything, and no one was there,” Wanderer almost whispered, looking out the window. "No one was there to help. ..You're strong as hell, I'll give you that. If I was in your shoes, I don't know if I would have made it. It seems people are stronger than I've given them credit for..”
It was something that surprised him, again and again.
“I just don't understand why you care..”
“.. I don't know why I do,” he shrugged. “Maybe because you remind me of myself, and. It hurts, looking at you and feeling like I'm looking in the mirror. But someone has to be in your corner and -”
“And you want to do that?”
A pause.
“..Well, if you don't stand up for you, no telling who will.”
“You don't have to cry over me. I'm -”
“If you say you're not worth it, I am going to bodyslam you,” Wanderer growled, eyes flashing, and Furina put up her hands.
“I wasn't going to! I was going to say that I will be okay. Not now, but. Eventually. I'm healing. I promise. There's people who care, like you.”
Wanderer fell silent then, looking away, and she reached out and squeezed his hand. “Thank you. I'm still wrestling with - with what I want to do and where I'll go but. It's nice to know that I'm valued just for existing.”
“That's all you need to be valued,” he muttered, looking to the floor. “You don't have to prove the worth of your existence. It's fine to just be.”
“..are you talking to yourself, or me?”
He looked to her then, expression unreadable, and she smiled sadly, in understanding. “Both is good. It's okay to just be. We're here, and we'll be okay.”
“Yeah,” Wanderer whispered, giving a shaky breath. “..we will."
#screaming crying#i will probably go back and clean this up later but i just wanted to get it out there and start yelling#i think wanderer would be so so angry about what happened to furina and it just. weighs heavy on his heart and he's like god. GOD!!!#his heart is way squishier than he would like to admit he's ready to square up so quickly and had it not been for focalors being dead#oh BABY he'd have Some Words For Her#genshin impact#wanderer#furina#please god i am going to explode i am thinking so hard im in pain#ue ue ue ue ue#loved but left behind.....#a means to an end..you feel me...#im dyin scoob
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THE USOS REUNITE WWE SMACKDOWN (OCTOBER 25, 2024)
#no useful tags just me bitching lmao#i am SO unmoved#im praying theres more to all this than them just speedrunning this reunion just so certain things can line up in time for ple shows#and so wrestling fans with less than one braincell can get the instant gratification of their favwit tag team together again 🥺#bc oh bite me lolllll#so much of this ~cinema~ is starting to feel rushed and im just hoping theres turns or angles or REASONS for it#but thats asking me to trust wrestling with carrying storylines fully and i do NOT#the things i wanted most from this story were jey getting proper acknowledgement/vindication and apology for his abuse#and explanation for why the family treats solo as they do (and then expect him to be a well adjusted adult lmao)#jey has NO reason to forgive them yet like did they buy him hallmark cards behind the scenes?#and theyve done much worse to him for much longer the new bloodline#you dont get to brag about this being the greatest slowburn long term cinema storytelling and then just....#im HOPING so bad its not just as simple as it looks i am#they keep swearing theres so many more 'innings' to this so idk prove me wrong please literally do#but that still wont make me moved by ✨og bloodline reunion✨#bc what yall mean yall are still the heels in my eyes like why do you have so many family members yall left on the side of the road#while talking about family above all and dont divide family lmao#and i get ~twin bond~ but LORD#actually that twin bond excuse is evil too#solo go bring in jeremiah since hes technically part of wwe canon too and beat their asses together actually lmao#i aint forgot jey saying something like having brothers is great but how being a twin is just different/special#like yeah sure but can you not make your other siblings sound like secondhand brothers or whatever shdhfhjf#ok im done. for now. for this post. maybe.#venting about my interests is fun for me ok#its how i process the information given to me and understand it#and also i like to bitch
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playing my game with my friend
#freedyn#<- my new tag for me playing halflife#that first barney. um. i accidentally killed.#I DIDNT MEAN TO. I FEEL SO BAD#HE WAS ALREADY HURT AND I TURNED AROUND TO SAY SOMETHING TO HIM AND MISCLICKED AND BEAT HIM TO DEATH#i fell out of my chair to my knees i felt so fucking bad. oh my god#i SHOULDVE LEFT HIM AT HIS LITTLE POST ohh my gpd. im gonna hurl.#the other barney was just an actual madman he took out all the vorts in office complex by himself unprompted it was kind of scary#he jjust ran past me and started shootin and was like :D did you see that shot!#trailing behind him like yeah babe i did that was so cool. are you feeling okay#HE WAS BEING SCARY he was so brave and charming but jesus christ#*i* didnt have to kill them but. woah#transmission#VIDEO GAMES ARE FUN#half life#barney calhoun
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