#and fantasy life is a big comfort game its just so lovely

[melon-soda]

i am reallyyyy happy about the direct yesterday. so many things im exited for....splat expansion pass, magolor stuff, new fantasy life, NEW PROF LAYTON...pikmin 4 trailer, more tears of the kingdom stuff, just a lot of very exciting things. im really happy level 5 is back too theyve made a lot of games that are dearly beloved to me and i hope this means yokai watch 4 gets a localization as well as the switch remake/port for yokai watch 1 ^_^ <3

[txttletale]

If we're asking about games on your list of favourites, as someone who adored Paradise Killer, I'd love to hear your thoughts on it! I always enjoy your analysis.

so first of all the aesthetics of paradise killer are really good. usually games that were written in english but read like translations from japanese irritated me, but here i think it is very much leaned into and embraced as an aesthetic and set of cultural signifiers in its own right, which i really enjoy. the character designs are outlandish and charming. but what i really like about it is like, the way the core premise works

in most detective games, there is a correct answer, and not getting it is a failure state. you can't end a case in ace attorney with your innocent client being convicted, you can't get the wrong guy in the frogware sherlock holmes games. and this invariably, even if the game is critical in other aspects, tends to come around to a fundamental faith in the legal system and authority, right--something that's kind of baked into the detective genre at a fundamental level.

paradise killer upends that by simply saying "you are the detective. get the facts you need, make a compelling argument, and if the authorities above you believe you then you get to distribute justice as you see fit." you arrive on the island you're investigating and you're immediately told "hey, this member of a disenfranchised underclass did it, we've already arrested him, here's the evidence." and absolutely nothing stops you from taking that evidence and walking into the trial room and presenting it and saying "yep, he did it!" and beating the game! it's not a 'bad ending', you don't get a big popup saying 'you're wrong', the powers that be just accept the convenient narrative you've been given to present and everything moves on.

i like this from both, like, an ideological perspective, and also from an interpersonal stakes perspective. in most detective games, you can't miss a crucial piece of evidence, either because the game will not proceed until you pick it up or because you'll be forced to restart the 'trial' or 'deduction' segment when you game over because you're missing it. in paradise killer, whatever argument you put forward, if enough evidence supports it--even if you know for a fact it's wrong!--leads to the person you're accusing being executed. so the stakes are much higher, right, because instead of a game over screen and trying again, getting it wrong means that's just... how the game ends, with an innocent person being executed.

and more importantly i think it does a fantastic job--better imo even than something like disco elysium--at deconstructing the fantasy of justice. a constant theme of the game and something that the protagonist repeats often is "there is a difference between facts and the truth". you can withhold evidence at trial because it implicates your friends, or misrepresent it to implicate that bitch you hate. nothing in the system exists to stop you getting wrong, in fact your superiors encourage you to make the easy completely stritched up conviction and move on with your life.

and at the end, even if you get it right, if you catch all the criminals--all the time you spend investigating this island shows that, like, the society you're part of is fucking evil! you're all deranged immortals making constant human sacrifices to your evil gods! and you don't change that by solving the case, the whole thing just packs up and moves on. you don't get any comfortable resolution to that or to your role in it. you can play lady love dies as a diehard true believer or as a dissident rebel but either way she's ultimately just another cog in a machine, dispensing an alien and uncaring justice that is only attached to any real morality or truth by your decision to do so. a genuinely incredible game.

plus i like how whenever you open it a voice says 'paradise killer' so you know you're playing paradise killer

[andreabandrea]

I absolutely don't mean this in a bad way, but I think a lot about how Pokemon is a power fantasy for kids. And I know this is obvious because it's a game for children, but let me ramble.

Think about it: you can go wherever you want, knowing you're safe because your Pokemon will protect you. In the later games, you can dress however you want and express yourself freely. You can connect with nature and communities of friendly kids and adults around you. You can make a meaningful, positive impact on the world. You can stand toe-to-toe with adults who, in real life, would ignore or even belittle you because you're just a kid. (And, of course, you have superpowered pets that love you.)

I think about how in the original games, Brock and Misty are presented as kids/young teens and become friends with Ash. But, Lt. Surge presents a difficulty spike-- if you chose Bulbasaur, you can easily sweep the first two gyms with it, but now you don't have a supereffective match up unless you plan more. I think it's meaningful, then, that Lt. Surge is portrayed a big, scary adult man and military to boot. In the anime, he's presented as being condescending and intimidating toward Ash. But, you as the player are able to overcome this intimidating man through the power of your Pokemon. The same can be said for people like Team Rocket and Giovanni-- Giovanni's original sprite in Red & Blue makes it look like he's looming over you, sneering at you.

It can easily be forgotten by adult fans, but you're seeing this world through the perspective of a child. Giovanni looming over you represents how it feels to be a child, powerless, and face an adult who's cruel to you. But you defeat him at every match up.

Satoshi Tajiri would go on to say that Pokemon was inspired by his childhood, in which he'd go out and collect bugs. Miyamoto would say that the first Zelda game was inspired by his childhood in which he'd explore the local area and caves and so on.

It makes me sad to think that, as the world becomes more modern, more urbanized, and (as parents tend to see it, at least) more unsafe, this childhood that inspired these classic games become further out of reach for kids. When I was growing up, I lived in a suburb full of concrete. I couldn't walk anywhere, and even if I could, my mother was too anxious to let me just go around unsupervised.

This is why getting the bike is such a big moment in Pokemon-- you can go so much farther as a kid on a bike! But, I also could only ride my bike up and down my boring street before running into a major street full of cars going 50 MPH that would have murdered me instantly.

This isn't a doom post. I still believe that we can repair the damage that capitalism and cars have done to the world. But, I think that in times like this, it's more important than ever for kids to have access to these power fantasies, these escapes from a world that they have no ability to fix, but still suffer from regardless.

Ironically, I think that when I play Pokemon now, I play it to feel smaller rather than to feel bigger, the opposite of how I played it as a kid. Now, it's comforting to escape from work and stress into a world in which your only concerns are walking to the next town, catching a new Pokemon, and maybe fighting a gym leader. The same can be said of any piece of media that someone is nostalgic for, but I think Pokemon feeds into it well because its design is so baked in the experience of being a child.

When I'm playing Pokemon, especially when replaying an old game, I still remember things like only saving in Pokemon centers so that my character could sleep there in a nice building, or imagining them setting up camp if I had to save and quit on a route. If I had time, I would feed my Pokemon some Pokeblocks or etc. at my little 'camp' so they wouldn't be hungry (which is why I felt like the cooking and camping systems from SwSh were so real for me, haha).

I don't think that there's a 'wrong' way to play Pokemon-- I know people enjoy competitive Pokemon, and strict challenge runs, and stuff. And I can enjoy that, too! But, for me, Pokemon is about childhood, you know?

[spiderrrling]

The Dungeon Master and the Cheerleader - Eddie Munson X F! Henderson! Reader

Pairing - Eddie Munson x F! Henderson! Cheerleader! Reader

Warnings - Mentions of cigarettes, me being a dnd nerd, probably some continuity errors

Word Count - 5.2k (yes i went crazy writing this)

Summary - What if the pretty cheerleader Eddie has been looking at turns out to be Dustin's sister, and she wants to learn about dungeons and dragons?

Request from @uglypastels : i mean, you already know what it is as we literally just discussed this face to face BUT the reader pretending not to know anything about DnD as an excuse to talk to Eddie so he can "teach" her. and maybe she slips up at the end, but hell, maybe Eddie already realised she knew but he just enjoyed talking about his favourite thing to a pretty girl so its all fluffy k, byeee (but not really)

Masterlist - Taglist - Requests are open

Her interest in Dungeons and Dragons had started a couple of years ago, seeing her brother play with his friends intrigued her and it wasn't long before she had stolen and read the entire players guide front to back more times than she could count.

Which had led to countless character sheets created and stuffed away in her folder along with unused campaign ideas. Because no matter how much she fell in love with the game, she didn't actually have anyone to play with.

She had no party, and she knew that her friends wouldn't be interested in spending hours on end exploring a pretend fantasy world and fighting all sorts of fictional and mythological monsters.

She had heard about the Hellfire Club, the resident group for the Dungeons and Dragons nerds. The ones who met up in the backstage of the theatre department every Friday after school to play.

But she had never dared join a campaign, maybe it was because she was scared of being judged by her friends. Or that maybe she was worried that she wasn't good enough as she had never actually played before.

She simply observed them from a distance, quick glances over to their table during lunch. And they weren't difficult to spot with their signature black and white tees they wore.

But the most prominent member of Hellfire, Eddie 'The Freak' Munson. He was impossible to miss, with his signature leather jacket and battle vest combination. With long curly hair, soft brown eyes and probably the kindest smile she had ever seen in her life.

The first time she had met Eddie Munson they had both been partaking in the Hawkins Middle charity talent show. Eddie had been playing guitar in his little garage band formed of misfits and outcasts. And she had been with the official middle school cheerleader group.

The guitar he was using was borrowed and way too big for him, but he didn't care. It was the first time he got to stand on a proper stage and play music.

Backstage Eddie had complimented her on her routine, and eloquently introduced himself as Eddie Munson the guitarist of Corroded Coffin. That was before he had received his covenant title of 'The Freak'.

After the talent show they didn't see each other much, she would wave at him in the hallway and he would return it with his soft smile. Eddie graduated middle school ahead of her and after that she didn't see him much.

They would occasionally bump into each other in the hallways of Hawkins High from time to time. But they never exchanged anything more than just a couple of words in passing here and there. She was still a cheerleader, and he was growing more and more into his persona with every passing day.

But she still kept finding her eye pulled towards him every now and then. They shared two classes after all.

So she might have a little crush on Eddie. Which hadn't been an issue last year, she had no reason to interact with him and could simply just admire him from a safe, comfortable distance which guaranteed she would not be making a fool out of herself.

However that all changed when her brother started high school and was immediately drafted into the group.

Suddenly she had all the excuses in the world to start interacting with the Hellfire Club. Looking over at their table during lunch, walking past maybe a little more than she needed to, offering to pick up Dustin after campaigns.

She still remembered the first time she picked up Dustin from Hellfire. Still donned in her green and white cheer uniform after having cheered at that night's football game.

When she arrived they hadn't finished yet, and instead of waiting outside she had taken a seat, an exclusive inside peek into a Hellfire club campaign. Dustin would never stop talking about all the things Eddie would do, and she so desperately wanted to see it in action.

Her fascination for Dungeons and Dragons had started with Dustin's total inability to stop talking about it after all.

It was fascinating seeing them play, how invested they all were in their characters and the plot going on. But her eyes did not leave Eddie once. The way he talked, his body language, the intensity and the spark in his eyes. It was enchanting to sit and watch.

She had never really paid much attention to the crew outside of the quick glances she would cast in their direction. These people were quick to be written off as the nerd and losers of Hawkins High.

But they all seemed so careless, so free in this space where they could just be themselves together as a group. She couldn't help but envy that just a little bit.

As she sat there looking at them, and especially at him. She couldn't help but notice all the little details about Eddie. the way he laguaged, accompanied by that stupidly bright smile which made butterflies appear in her stomach.

Eddie really wasn't the freak everyone made him out to be. Maybe he was still the same kid from the talent show that loved music and fantasy. And she couldn't find anything wrong with that.

"Heeeeey, hellooooo." Dustin's voice ripped her from her trance, she had zoned out. "Earth to Henderson helloooo, we gotta goooo." He waved a hand in her face and she simply shot him a glare.

"Hey, dont disrespect your sister Henderson." Eddie's voice sounded from where he was still standing, papers and books wedged in his hands as he packed up his station. "Besides, how can one not be totally fascinated with the Disciples of Damnation? It's a fantastic campaign."

The words made her cheeks flush ever so slightly with pink and she stared at the floor, terrified to look over at him.

"You got your stuff?" She asked Dustin, failing to notice the bag that was already slung over his shoulder. "Anyone else need a ride? Mike? Lucas?" She raised her voice and looked at the two other boys that had practically been joined at the hip with her brother for years.

Both of the boys simply shook their heads and Mike mumbled something about Nancy coming to give both of them a ride home. She just grabbed her keys and dragged Dustin out of the theatre department.

"What's gotten you so distracted?" Dustin asked as they walked to the car. "Just tired from the game."

"You were rude to Eddie by not answering him."

"I'm sure he'll live."

After that first time she offered to pick up Dustin every week, and he didn't seem to mind. He much preferred hitching a ride than walking or biking all the way home.

And over the next couple of weeks she kept entertaining the idea of Eddie in her mind more frequently. She most definitely had a crush on him.

Wondering what it would be like to run her fingers through his curly hair. To feel the cold metal of his rings against her skin. Thinking about how his chapped lips might feel against her lips or her neck.

Each time she picked up Dustin they interacted a little bit more. A couple of words exchanged here and there, Eddie's flirty persona had her flustered way too easily but she had mustered up the courage to compliment his shirt once.

Maybe picking up Dustin was an excuse to talk to Eddie, to look at him a little bit. But it worked out for both of them.

But she still tried to keep that distance between them, that comfortable distance where she knew she could protect her feelings and make sure her heart wasn't going to break.

Besides, she could never do that to Dustin. He practically worshipped the ground Eddie walked on. And she couldn't blame him, Eddie had this air about him. He refused to be someone he wasn't just to fit in and she admired that about him.

He gladly ran dungeons and dragons for the other students simply because he wanted to, and it gave others the space to be themselves.

She would be lying to herself if she said she hadn't noticed the uptick in Dustin's behaviour after he was enlisted in Hellfire. After years of bullying and teasing he had finally found a group that accepted and included him.

There is no way she could take that away from him by doing something stupid. It would be 

cruel and malicious. Whatever feelings she might have for Eddie were fleeting and nothing compared to how she felt for Dustin.

So this would have to do, small stolen looks when no one was looking and a couple of words exchanged once a week. She would have to settle for that, and she was ok with that.

—

It was no secret that Eddie Munson was special. He was the leader of the Hellfire Club. He fearlessly led the band of nerds and outcasts that resided within the halls of Hawkins High. 

It was also no secret to anyone who knew him that he had a type. The older members of the Hellfire club knew this very well.

They had seen Eddie's various small flings with different cheerleaders through the years.

Eddie almost had a heart attack then and there when she walked into Hellfire club. Immediately noticing her from the talent show, and from the previous years they had spent together at Hawkins High.

Quickly scanning the faces of the freshmen in front of him he deduced she must be Henderson's older sister. Shocked, someone like him would have a sister on the cheer team.

Never would he ever think that the worm Dustin Henderson would be picked up by one of the senior cheerleaders.

And sure, somewhere in him he knew he shouldn't be ogling at one of the siblings of the Hellfire like he was a kid looking at toys in a toy store.

But he couldn't help but just a little bit, she was still wearing her uniform, her hair all messy and cheeks a little flushed from having cheered for the past few hours.

Almost instantly he got a warning glare from Garreth, which he simply shrugged off.

"That's Henderson's sister you do know that right?" Garreth approached him after both Dustin and his sister had left, but his voice was still quiet, not wanting to alert any of the other members still hanging around.

"I do." Eddie curly responded.

"Eddie, don't even think about it." Garreth had warned him, and Eddie agreed he wouldn't. That was a lie, in fact he thought about it a lot. Technically, he had known her before he had known Dustin.

It wasn't helped by the fact that she started picking up Dustin from Hellfire almost every week. But it was when she didn't come to pick him up and Eddie felt a little pang of disappointment that he realised that he was developing a crush.

Previously he had simply shrugged it off to a pretty face and seen her in a short cheer skirt. However, that moment made him bite his tongue for a moment.

"Henderson, where's your sister?" Eddie had gathered up the courage to ask after he had finished the session. "Dunno, she said something about a date."

A date. Eddie's blood ran cold for a second and he could have sworn he was going to see red. He knew it wasn't justified, he hadn't ever actually spoken with her more than a couple of flirty comments here and there as she picked up Dustin.

But it still made his blood boil. She was out somewhere, on a date with someone. That wasn't him.

And so started his master plan, and it started with the need of a new Hellfire member.

—

"Henderson!" Eddie grinned from ear to ear as he approached the freshman standing with Mike next to their lockers. "We need a new member for tomorrow's session, is Y/N free?"

"Can't we just use one of the regular subs?" No, no they could not. Technically Eddie could simply talk to her, ask her out when he saw her. But that almost seemed too easy, and slightly wrong. Plus there was no way in hell that she would say yes to going out with him, so he would have to play the long game with this one.

“And besides, didn't you mention she had some interest in playing?” Eddie realised he must have looked crazy, wide eyed and staring the freshmen down.

“Yeah like a couple of years ago? I doubt she would be interested now.” Eddie huffed slightly, feeling himself becoming increasingly annoyed. “Just ask her will ya?”

That seemed to intimidate them enough to turn heel and run, muttering some excuse about going to look.

—

"Hey Y/N!" Dustin's voice carried through the library. Making plenty of students turn heads to look at who was being loud. Dustin was accompanied by Mike and she was shooting them both daggers as they made their way over to the table she was sitting at alone.

"Could you be any louder?" She berated them in a hushed voice as they sat down at the table. Her books and papers were strewn out over the table, desperately trying to cram in just a little bit more studying before Mr. Kaminsky's test later. "Can't you see I'm busy?"

"Do you want to join Hellfire tomorrow?" Dustin completely ignored everything she had said, too couped up in his own thoughts and priorities to care. "Eddie says we need an extra player and everyone else is busy soooo..."

Dustin gave her the big eyes he always used when he wanted something from her. It was clear they were desperately trying to fulfil an order set by Eddie, both of the boys looked slightly panicked as if they needed her to say yes.

Of course she wanted to join Hellfire, more than anything. But at the same time that would mean having to spend a night in the same room as Eddie, and she didn't know if she would be able to handle that.

"So I'm your last pick for an extra?" She raised an eyebrow at her brother, enjoying seeing him panic further. "No just- we need- and-" He struggled to find the words to explain himself away.

"And besides, have you ever thought about the fact that I have my own life? My own friends? I have plans." She looked him dead in the eye as she spoke.

"Bullshit, I know practice was cancelled tomorrow and that you were planning on renting a video and falling asleep with Mews on the couch."

"Mews? Who's mews?" She heard his voice behind her, immediately her blood went cold and she froze in her seat. Slowly turning to look at him, convinced her face was completely pale and void of any colour.

And there he stood, the leader of Hellfire. Eddie Munson, asking about her cat of all things.

"Mews? Who's mews?" She heard his voice behind her, immediately her blood went cold and she froze in her seat. And before she knew it Eddie slit down into one of the empty seats across from her.

She slowly looked up at him, convinced her face was completely void of any colour. And there he sat, the leader of Hellfire. Eddie Munson, asking about her cat of all things.

His usual goofy smile was plastered to his face, creating those dimples that always managed to make her slightly weak. She could see his dimples and how when he smiled his eyes lit up just a little.

"Our cat." Dustin responded like it was absolutely nothing, while she was completely tongue tied and totally staring at Eddie. "So what do you say?" Eddie asked and crooked his head a little bit.

Just enough that she could spot the black outline of a tattoo peeking out of the collar of his shirt. Her mind was still totally blank.

Dustin kicked her under the table and she snapped back to reality. "Sorry, what?"

"What do you say, want to join Hellfire tomorrow?" Eddie looked at her, and she was convinced this was all just a big prank. "The worm says you might be interested."

"I- I've never played." Which was technically true, she had never played and for now she was hoping it would work as a half assed excuse. "I would just be an inconvenience." 

She gave him a weak smile and prayed the excuse would work.

"Nonsense, I'll help you through the basics. Get you all set up." Before she could protest Eddie had gotten up out of his seat. "Tomorrow at lunch, the picnic table behind the football field."

Dustin and Mike immediately followed Eddie out of the library and she was once again left sitting alone. Completely dumbfounded as to what had just happened.

And she was about to be caught in a lie.

—

She should have come clean the second she showed up in the woods and saw him sitting at the table already waiting for her. But some part of her did really want to sit next to Eddie Munson and get his help to create a new character.

He was already there when she arrived, probably skipped the previous class to prepare. Something about the thought excited her, that he would skip class for her. But she knew that in reality Eddie Munson probably skipped classes quite frequently.

"So how much will I need to teach you? Dustin mentioned you already had an interest." Eddie said as she sat down, he gestured for her to sit next to him instead of opposite him like she had planned.

She thought of the already made character sheet that was tucked into her bag just in case.

“I suppose a little bit of everything?” She looked at him questioningly with big eyes and Eddie swore he could melt right then and there. “Just so I understand the very basics and then I’ll manage from there.”

And just like that Eddie started teaching her, if she was being honest she wasn’t listening to what he was saying, not that she needed to. Simply smiling and nodding along to whatever he was saying, providing input here and there when it was needed. Things like character names, which race and class she wanted to play.

Settling on a chaotic good half elf cleric.

“So these empty boxes right here.” Eddie used the tip of his pen to point on the paper. “These will be your spellcasting slots, when you use a spell one will fill up until you have the time to rest and recover.”

He was sitting next to her on the bench, their legs touching as he carefully guided her through the character sheet in front of her that she could already recite in her sleep. Eddie was wearing his regular ripped jeans, and she was just in a regular plain cotton skirt, feeling the rough denim against her soft bare skin.

“Now as you’re starting level one you will only have two spells to use, so it won't be too complicated.” Eddie was smiling so wide as he spoke, his heart fluttering whenever he felt her move.

"Roll these for me will you sweetheart?" Eddie said and dropped a couple of six sided dice in front of her. The use of the nickname made butterflies appear in her stomach and she bit into her bottom lip to keep herself from smiling like a crazy person. 

Eddie had a couple of dice out, helping her roll up a new character. His players manual laid open on the table in front of them, his messy handwriting decorating the pages in notes and comments along the margins.

She couldn't place her finger on it exactly, but Eddie seemed almost giddy to be sitting there with her helping her make a character sheet. She almost felt bad lying to him, almost.

Quickly grabbing the die and rolling the die, letting them scatter over the table. "What we're doing now is rolling for your abilities, but don’t worry I can do all the math for you."

Eddie just kept talking, he knew he was rambling on but having her so close was making him so nervous he couldn’t help himself. He was taking note of her rolls quickly working out the math, not even noticing that she was rolling for abilities he hadn’t explained yet.

“Yeah just like that, see you’re a natural already!” Eddie jokingly elbowed her side, noticing that she was a little tense. “Well I haven’t played yet.”

“You’ll do great, I just know it.” She turned to look at him and she found his eyes looking directly at hers. It was only when she was sitting this close she could actually see his eyes. They were such a deep rich dark brown, a kind that she could so easily get herself lost in. There were so many parts of his face she had never noticed before when she only looked at him from a distance.

The slightly faded scar that ran just outside his eyebrow. His dimples when he smiled. The ever so faintest dusting of freckles across his nose. The faint smell of cigarettes and cheap cologne hung in the air as she breathed him in.

But while she was looking at his eyes, his eyes were staring at her lips, Eddie was totally unable to  look away. Only imagining what it would be like to lean in and brush his lips against hers.

“Let’s hope so.” Her voice was barely above a whisper, her heart was in her throat. Neither of them realising how long they had been sitting there staring. Both of them ripped out of their trance when they heard the faint sound of the lunch bell ringing in the distance.

“Shit.” She exclaimed and quickly started gathering her stuff, shoving it into her bag without much care. “I’m sorry I have to go I’ve heard talk that there will be a pop quiz and I can’t let this grade slip more than it already has and I-”

Eddie laughed as she rambled away, watching her pack up her bag and slinging it over her shoulders. “No worries sweetheart.” He bit his bottom lip quickly. “After 6th period in the drama room!” Eddie called after her as she rushed back towards the school.

—

She had been counting down the minutes waiting for the end of 6th period, more and more anxious with each tick the clock made. Feeling her nerves starting to settle in, that pit of anxiety in her stomach quickly gathered.

And before she knew it she was standing in front of the drama department, the character sheet her and Eddie had started during lunch clutch in her hand. On the paper his handwriting intertwined with hers. She had spent the rest of the day filling out the blanks of the sheet, creating  herself a little firecracker of a cleric.

This was going to be fun, she kept telling herself. Maybe if she said it enough the nerves in her stomach would subside. She could feel the nerves all the way out into her fingertips making them go numb with anxiety and worry.

Taking one final breath and opening the door, most of the players had already arrived and were sitting around the table. And of course, at the head of the table in a gothic throne he had stolen from the drama department sat Eddie Munson.

He was setting up his screen and placing mini figures around the map. But he lifted his gaze as he heard the door slam shut behind her, flashing her a smile that made her weak in the knees.

Eddie gestured to the empty seat that was free next to her, without words telling her to sit down. And she was not about to protest.

It didn’t take long before everyone arrived and the game began, some part of her must have kicked into auto pilot and the nerves subsided.

Eddie guided them through the session so effortlessly, barely having to consult his notes as he narrated. He was pulling out all the stops, all of his NPC impressions were dialled up and there was an extra bit of energy in everything he did.

“Hey younger Henderson.” Eddie called out to Dustin and she looked down at the floor to hide her smile. “Hitch a ride home with Wheeler will you? Your sister being the newbie she’s on clean up duty.”

Dustin couldn’t argue with that, he had been on his fair share of cleaning duty when he had joined Hellfire. In his mind it was only fair.

Quickly they were both left alone, quietly cleaning up the mess left behind by the other party members.

"You know, you're a really bad liar." Eddie finally said and broke the silence between them. After hours of thinking that is what he chose to lead this conversation with. He had to muster up all the courage he could. Eddie was absolutely determined to do this.

"Me?" Heat immediately rushed to her cheeks at the accusation. "What- what have I lied about?" Great, and now she was stammering, a great look for someone practically lying through their teeth.

"It is so clear that you know more than you are letting on." Eddie laughed and slowly started walking towards her. "And then you kept using all the terminology so fluently, you knew all the dice, how all the turns worked."

"Maybe I just have a really great teacher." That made Eddie laugh more. "Sweetheart, I'm good but I'm not that good."

"How long have you known?" Her voice was so quiet he could barely hear it.

"Well I've been suspecting ever since earlier at lunch." He was standing right in front of her, close enough that she could feel his breath on her skin. "But this-" he gestured to her, "just confirmed everything I was thinking."

"And you have a tell." She looked at him questioningly. "Right here." Eddie lifted his hand to her face and ran his thumb over her eyebrow. "You knit your eyebrows together whenever you lie."

But Eddie didn't let his hand drop, instead he let it rest against her face.

"Are you mad?" 

"Mad? Why would I ever be mad?" 

"Well I did lie to you."

"Eh, it was cute so I'll let it slide."

“Cute?” She asked him a little shyly, Eddie was practically standing flush against her, her back against the playing table. “You think I’m cute?”

Eddie's eyes were back to staring at her lips, barely registering what she was saying.

“Sweetheart I think you’re absolutely adorable.” His face was only a couple of inches away from hers. But never had a couple of inches felt like such a vast distance. Eddie wondered what it would be like to lean in and brush his lips against hers. To feel her nose bump against his own.

Her eyes scanned his face, unsure what to make of the words coming out of his mouth.

“We shouldn’t do this.” Her voice was breathless and slow as she spoke, trying to ground herself. “No we shouldn’t.” Eddie murmured in agreement, inching just a little bit closer to her, just barely hovering over her lips. It would be so easy to lean in and close the space between them.

But both of them knew that if they did, they would be crossing a line and they would be at a point of no return.

“Tell me you want me to kiss you.”

“Eddie please kiss me-” She barely had time to finish the last word before Eddie slammed his lips against hers, finally closing the painfully short distance that had separated them.

Eddie tasted exactly like what she had expected him to. Like stale cigarettes and cinnamon gum. It was an intoxicating combination which only drew her in further. Her hands rested against his chest, feeling his chest through his signature Hellfire shirt.

And she was like a drug he had never had before, the way her lips moved against his quickly sent Eddie into a craze. He knew he would never be able to get enough of this feeling.

Weeks, months of longing fueled the kiss. It was desperate, needy and messy. His lips moved against hers so effortlessly and it knocked the air out of her lungs. The open mouthed kiss sweeping them both of their feet.

Eddie’s hand moved from her face and to the back of her neck, gripping it firmly so he could move her to exactly where he wanted her. Neither of them ever wanted this moment to end but eventually Eddie pulled away, the need for oxygen becoming too great.

Both of them were on a crazed high from the kiss and slightly dizzy. Still close enough that they breathed the same air. Lips swollen and wet with saliva.

“Do you have any idea how long I have wanted to do that?” Eddie said between heavy breaths, desperately trying to pull air back into his lungs. The smile on his lips was priceless. “I might have an idea.”

His hand snaked down her body, gripping the backs of her thighs and guiding her to sit down on the table. Spreading her legs so he could fit between them. Eddie moved his frame around her smaller one. One of his hands stayed on her thigh while the other was splayed against the expanse of her back, resisting the urge to tug at the hem of her shirt.

While her hands had snaked around his neck and shoulders to stabilise herself, her fingers were mindlessly playing and tugging at the strands of hair at the back of his neck.

His eyes were so dark she could swear she could see her reflection in them. How she could easily spend hours sitting there admiring his face.

“Can I kiss you again?” She didn’t bother to respond, only used her arms to pull his face to hers and connected their lips once more. The second kiss was softer, slower. Both of them wanted to savour the feeling of each other. Wanting to memorise as much as they could in the small amount of stolen time they had.

She could feel Eddie’s hand push up her skirt just a little so he could grab onto the bare skin of her thigh. The cold sting of his metal rings against her warm skin sending sparks flying through her body.

It didn’t take long before Eddie’s lips moved from hers and to her jaw, taking his sweet time kissing along her jaw bone before letting them trail over the sensitive skin of her neck. Her skin was so soft, just a hint of sweetness remaining from her morning perfume. Eddie never wanted this moment to end.

When Eddie pulled his lips away from her neck to press another couple of quick kisses to her lips. And when he looked at her she couldn’t think of anything else to say so she simply said. “So when do I get my own Hellfire shirt?”

“Oh darling.” Eddie gently caressed her face and looked directly into her eyes. “You can just have mine.”

Taglist - @pastel-abyss-x @fayetheenthusiast @obi-wanakenobi @starbemo @chloebeansack @a-villain-vying-for-attention @meganjm @prettytoxix @magicalxdaydream @ghoulsandgraveyards @munchabunch @kaydencegilr0y @eateraa @satorix @xbreezymeadowsx @hunnybunimdun @eddiemunsfuturewife

Mutuals - @uglypastels @catastrofhe

[luminavt]

Level 5 Presentation for Fantasy Life: i : NEW LIFE REVEALED!

So Fantasy Life : i just had its segment in the Level 5 ch presentation.

As someone who loved the original game and put nearly 200 hours into it? Trust me, I WILL be streaming this game on release. This was a huge comfort game for me back then, and it likely will be again!

Here's a quick overview of what was shown off by the wonderful and enthusiastic developers!

Small peek at character creation

Terraforming for the main island of the game and town.

"Artifact" system to bring former characters of the original games to your new island. Characters trapped in the form of various objects, once freed, can join your party and provide services to your island town.

Furniture and Housing showcase

Cooking minigame display, showing off how foods crafted can be ranked from 1-5 stars based on performance. They're pretty similar to the original game

Fishing mechanics showcase.

Miniboss combat showcase

Reveals of the two new lives. One, the Farmer was already revealed.

However in THIS Livestream they revealed one new life! Click the read more to see the new life, as I don't wanna spoil it for anyone looking to be surprised.

The new Life revealed is...

ARTIST!!! As an artist myself I'm PLEASANTLY HAPPY for this reveal and can't wait to see what it'll contribute to the game.

Overall. I'm happy and excited to see this sequel come to life. I wanted to see more of the game's exploration, as the original Fantasy Life 3ds had an amazingly huge world to explore.

So far I have yet to see even a display of the world map. So i have no clue to go off of for now.

I hope that this sequel provides just as big of a world, if not BIGGER to explore.

Sadly There was no release date revealed. which is VERY dissappointing. but I won't rush something I've waited THIS long for. I can wait a little longer.

Once this game releases, I'll likely be streaming it a lot, and hopefully it catches hold for me. If it does, It'll definitely be a regular thing for me.

Fingers crossed for a successful launch!

[c-nstellati-ns]

YOUR LOVE IS ALL I NEED... — headcanons

> author's note — im fucking sick in the head and all i can think about it jojos so you have to deal with it with me or else.... stone ocean was so * moans * > word count — i don't give a rats ass > featuring — narciso anastasia, weather report, enrico pucci and jotaro kujo > cw — NSFW CONTENT, lots of fucking, mentions of BDSM and knifeplay, sacrilege

all works belong to c-nstellati-ns ⓒ 2022. do not steal or repost. ask before translating.

MDNI. 18+ CONTENT BELOW, YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.

NARCISO ANASUI — 🌸👣 "I love you... I've been dying to come here for you..."

easily the one of the sluttiest men you've ever met, like ever.

anasui's always looking for the nicest lingerie to wear, even if he's not even going out- the silks are simply a second skin he's extremely comfortable with.

he doesn't care that when he bends over, his new white panties flash you in that unbearably short skirt he insisted on wearing out with you.

he enjoys seeing your face twist up in anger- and pleasure, when he sits down on your lap and lets your hands wander over his stockings.

anasui likes playing innocent with you, despite how obvious he makes it sometimes... batting those pretty pink lashes at you while pouting about you not paying enough attention to him when you're speaking with someone else.

despite how much money he likes to spend on his clothing and lingerie, he doesn't mind at all if you start clawing and tearing holes into his expensive designer stockings if you plan on fucking him like a wild animal later on.

anasui is BIG on rough, rough sex- slap him till his pale ass turns red, choke him till he's on the verge on passing out, pull his hair because oh god it hurts so good.

he's such a crybaby about it too, his eyes welling up in tears as he moans like a bitch in heat when you start pounding him from behind.

i imagine he's into BDSM and knifeplay as well... his biggest fantasy is him being a stalker of yours and you get sick of his obsessive freak behaviour and you teach him a lesson.

anasui came so hard that particular session that he blacked out for a brief moment in time and when he woke up, he was shaking like a leaf, but still begging for more despite it all.

he particularly loves it when you edge him till his cock is all flushed pink and he's trembling, gripping the sheets

he can be quite the brat when he wants to be, especially if he goes into his possessive fits, so you have to put him in his place.

leaving anasui tied up in that pretty light pink rope that he likes with a vibrating dildo up his ass and a nice cockring and vibrator strapped to it while he's blindfolded? that's guaranteed to get him to shape up for you.

there are also times where anasui has to beg you to fuck him, using any method necessary- its even to the point where he'd be willing to embarrass himself for just a taste of your cock down his throat.

its so cute seeing him clinging onto you while humping your thighs and letting out those pretty little moans in your ear to get you riled up.

WEATHER REPORT — ☁️💦 "I'm going to be the one to kill Pucci. And after I kill him, kill me. Understand?"

the throat goat.

seriously, i can't stress this enough- his head game goes crazy.

he might not talk much at all, but wes can sure work his mouth to make sure he pleases you.

doesn't matter where you guys are at, if you ask wes to suck you off, he'll find a nice private secluded place to get on his knees and give you the blowjob of your fucking life.

he's on the quieter side of things when it comes to sex, but he makes up for it with how sensitive he is. the lightest touch to one of the soft spots on his body is bound to get him flushed red.

wes is a little more vanilla compared to other people, but he simply enjoys having you stay close as you thrust deep into him, he swears he can feel you up in his throat.

he's not much of a teaser, but some things he says gets you extremely hard, especially if its unintentional. he'd pull you close and whisper in your ear as he gently gropes your thigh:

"you're so big, so strong. you could crush me with these muscles and i'd thank you. i'm so lucky to have you, darling."

the couple spicy things wes enjoys is sensory deprivation, especially if he can't see you. he loves the feeling of your hands roaming his body while he's handcuffed and his cock twitches whenever you press your hands onto his chest and he can't do anything but lay there and take it.

he fucking loves when you come close to his ear and start whispering all these dirty things that you'll do to him.

he might have a voice kink, because hearing you growl orders at him, it goes straight to his cock and he adores it. he encourages you to keep whispering in his ear, he loves your voice.

wes sometimes likes to call you while you're at work just so he can hear your voice, cock in hand, it's hard for him to keep his whimpers in when you finally notice what he's up to.

you will always indulge your baby, so you do let him finish, just to hear his gasping moans and light groans when he finally finishes all over the sheets.

but of course, touching himself while you aren't there isn't allowed :( wes knows this and absolutely anticipates when you come home to punish him. it's the one rule he really can't follow, poor baby. when you get home, he's already in bed, all naked and ready for you, baby blue eyes not maintaining eye contact as he says:

"'m sorry i couldn't wait for you... but i wanna make it up to you, right here, right now."

ENRICO PUCCI — 📀🕊 "In the name of God, I will smite you!"

DEFINITELY a repressed homophobic homosexual.

i mean, look at him... there's no way his libido isnt through the fucking roof despite the sworn celibacy promise he made.

when pucci met you, it was extremely difficult to get work done... all he could think about was how you would look like on top of him.

the first time you both had sex, the chaplain insisted that you only thighfucked him because it isn't sin if it doesn't go in, right? he thought splurging a bit would satisfy his lust but... it doesn't.

it's gone so far to the point where pucci has even bought himself some sex toys to test on himself, just so he could get you out of his mind.

he's definitely moaning out your name while he fucks himself with the dildo he got, but it can't satisfy him like you do... he wants so much more than this. he's embarrassed to admit, but he definitely has a rope of rosary bead themed anal beads somewhere in his collection.

pucci thinks he can handle you, but by god's name, he about passed out the moment your cock finally bottomed out in that pretty tight ass of his.

to think he was a virgin after all these years, despite how beautiful he was- it was delicious watching all that work be thrown into the trash as you hit his prostate over and over again and he simply can't control how loud he's being anymore.

101% into manhandling. pucci wants to feel you force him into a mating press or full nelson and absolutely ruin his cunt, over and over again.

he's a bit of a pillow princess as well, he just enjoys laying back and having you completely wreck his shit.

he prays to god every day for his forgiveness for how his lust has taken over his body and mind, but he just can't help the way he feels when you press up against him from behind, grabbing his hips roughly and grinding.

pucci simply becomes sex crazed because of all of this. he can't go more than two or three days without feeling your touch or else he'll go fucking insane.

its to the point where he's entirely willing to have you spread him in half over his podium in the church and struggle to keep his shaking legs up as he attempts for the fifth time to recite the highlighted verse in his bible.

but at this point, he can't read it with how he's drooling all over the pages and panting for you to go harder- faster, till he can't feel his legs anymore.

pucci's also into rough, rough sex... he loves examining the bruises and markings on his skin a day after just to see your palms permanently engraved onto his hips. he does get pretty loud so,,, gag time.

JOTARO KUJO —🐬⭐ "Gimme a break..."

our favourite dilf ever. god. he's so sexy.

jotaro is a little on the older side compared to you, but that doesn't change the fact that you want him CARNALLY. and romantically.

he's definitely the type of guy you would assume is more dominant in his relationships, but its quite the opposite behind closed doors.

jotaro only wants to be taken care of by you, whether that be you bring him breakfast in bed on a lazy saturday morning or when you trap him in a closet and eat him out then and there because you guys would rather be anywhere else.

he isn't as buff as he used to be when he was in egypt, so he's a little softer on the edges now, but you cannot give a single fuck because by god, those tits are going to be sucked one way or another.

jotaro's favourite thing is when you bite and suck at his inner thighs, it makes him lose his mind in a certain way that he can't place his finger on,,, it leaves him all flushed and shaking, clenching those thighs around your head and effectively crushing you.

ABSOLUTELY has a daddy kink, it goes both ways but god, when you lean in and bite his earlobe as you whisper in his ear:

"does that feel good, daddy? you're doing so good f'me, you can cum if you want."

it takes all his will to not cream his pants then and there because he wants to cum with you but also make you proud of him for holding out so long.

jotaro's probably also a pillow princess, because again, he wants to be taken care of. he loves the idea of just laying back and relaxing as you ravage the hell out of him. you have to make sure not to leave any visible hickeys behind to avoid any awkward situations but he wants you to leave as many as you can.

while he may be on the quieter side, i like to think, he's the type to tear up and cry silently in pure ecstasy. he can't handle how good he's feeling so he grips the sheets tight and silently sobs into the pillows as you grip and bruise his pretty hips.

i imagine jotaro's favourite position is having you face to face with him so he can kiss you while you fuck him through his orgasms. he's so affectionate and needy while in subspace, you gotta shower him in praise and love while you fuck his brains out, y'know?

he might have a bit of a breeding kink if i'm being honest- he's already a father, but the thought of getting knocked up from getting stuffed to the brim over and over again is enough get him going for rounds on end.

face sitting is a must. eating jotaro's ass is a daily task that must be done, no matter what. he's afraid of hurting you but that thought quickly gets thrown out the window when you start devouring him completely and he can do nothing but shake and beg for you to slow down a bit.

he loves grinding down onto your face and hearing all those lewd wet sounds, it only adds to the intensity and he fucking loves it. so much so, that he can barely focus on the throbbing cock in front of his face…

> NOW PLAYING — all i need, lloyd...

[worldsfromhoney]

Ficlet Masterlist

Each ficlet has its respective warnings so pay heed to them!! I aint responsible if you don’t know how to spot the big red warnings 👁️👄👁️

Gen All The Way

Tar dan Elif

High fantasy. An assassin goes about an assignment. It’s their favourite one yet

tints, tones, tests

Punk. The occupant of a room sees two worlds in one and makes a choice

pristine clean

Magic realism. The cleaner of souls heeds the call. The body’s in a forest

this winter we played

Medieval. A statue shows up in town. It’s not as cold or unmovable as they think

Ornaments Along the Parapet

Modern. She decides to go to the old railroad bridge

counting on

Historical. This child gets candy. The price? Freedom

…and so on!

Queer platonic

The Crowning Jewel

Cyberpunk. The rebels go and rob critical information. They get more than they expected

Lines of Power

High Fantasy. An undead necromancer goes for a sleepover at a witch’s house. Nothing wrong with that, right?

Throw Thy Pride

Modern. After being imprisoned, a government agent comes back home. It doesn’t mean he comes back whole

Not Like This

Urban Fantasy. A chicken humanoid gets a scare and the farmhand is there for comfort. It’s not as easy as it sounds

S.A.D.

Modern. One day, the tattoo shop remains closed and its florist neighbour needs answers. It’s somehow what they expected and not at all

Tears For You

Medieval. The knight sees the servant when they start crying. It is on their honour that they help stem the tears

Let Me

Xianxia. A master healer’s junior comes back to the sect. It doesn’t mean they came back whole

A Home With You

Modern Dæmon AU. Local tour guide approaches seemingly lost tourist. They get more than they expect

When in Rome

Steampunk. You come upon a stranger being dismantled and torn apart. You stay and witness.

…and so on!

Gay Gay Gay

what use are labels (with you)?

Modern. A chase between a hero and a villain. To what end will they reach?

With My Heart and Soul

Historical. The best bachelor in Roma’s looking for something. He finds it in a house he’s too familiar with

He Who Tends, He Who Mends

Medieval. A knight comes home from war. He finally gets taken care of

This Godly Taste

Historical Fantasy. Playing a game with a god never ends up well. Not even if you’re the pharaoh

Jewels of Mine

Historical. In the eyes of God, love is not a sin. In this case, it is and he cannot stop wavering

My Dear Thief

High Fantasy. A thief just wants to start a new life, free from the past. But everyone dreams and so does he

Vivre Notre Amour

Historical. A revolutionary sneaks into the bedroom of one of the most protected nobles in France. They talk as they always do

…and so on!

Series Ish

Welcome to My Channel

Urban Fantasy. You go through your coming of age ceremony. You wonder how anyone gets through adulthood like this

PART ONE

FINALE

To Fall and Fall to Rise

Urban Fantasy. After years of freedom, Val’s mother calls for him. What else is he to do but come?

PART ONE

PART TWO

PART THREE

FINALE

Imposter Syndrome

Urban Sci-Fantasy. Del’s mother is dying and it’s time he claims the thing he wants most—or the person

PART ONE

PART TWO

PART THREE

FINALE

…and so on!

Do interact with this post (like/rblg/comment) if you want to be added to the taglist for any future works !!

Have fun reading love 💛💛💛

[anneapocalypse]

Thoughts Before Endwalker

As I'm about to start Endwalker, I thought it was high time I actually write up some closing thoughts on Shadowbringers, and since I really haven't done this for any of the other expansions, this has turned into a general "thoughts so far" kind of post! And also long. This is not any kind of an essay, just a big long thoughts dump. Spoilers for everything through the end of the Shadowbringers patches.

And I trust I don't have to say this to my own followers at least, but just for the record: please do not tell me anything about Endwalker here, even if you think it's minor, even if you want to hint at something I'll like. I know very little and I'm looking forward to watching it all unfold.

How it started!

It's been a year and change since I started playing this game in the fall of 2022. I didn't actually expect to play very far (I only picked it up in the first place because I was helping a friend set it up! I swore I would never play an MMO! I hated multiplayer games!) and I certainly didn't ever expect to get as deep into it as I have! ARR is very handholdy for new players, which was exactly what I needed to enjoy playing and keep playing. I love the story and the characters and the world and while I do enjoy the solo aspects of the game very much, I've also ended up really actively enjoying playing with other people! I enjoy dungeons. I enjoy raids. I run roulettes more or less every day. Free Company life hasn't always been smooth sailing (long story I won't get into here), but it's also brought me a lot of fun times and some new friends, as well as seeing me step into an active leadership role and not hate it. Who am I? 😂 I don't know! It's not that I've never tried to step out of my comfort zone before when it comes to games and hobbies, it's just that most of those experiences haven't been good and I've ultimately walked away from them. I don't know why this has been different, but it has. It's challenged me to tackle and let go of a lot of old insecurities, which I'm glad for (and grateful to friends who've been patient with me along the way). It's also just been a really good time, and continues to be.

How it's gone! (ARR through Stormblood)

So here I am, in 2024, about to start the last current expansion! Shadowbringers is easily my favorite expansion thus far, but I have really enjoyed the whole ride.

I enjoyed all of ARR, because while I don't think it has the strongest writing and certainly not the strongest characterization, it's really more a very long introduction to the world and its major players and conflicts, and while slow-moving, it does serve that function, and for someone brand-new to MMOs like me, slow was okay. It gave me time to get my bearings and learn the game.

I did really love Heavensward. It hits on several aspects of Fantasy Politics that I enjoy (generations-long war, class politics, structural reform), and postwar Ishgard, while maybe still a little rosy, still doesn't shy away from the growing pains of social change. Also the dragons were cool. I loved Haurchefant a lot, and was heartbroken by his death even as I knew it was coming; I also wouldn't change it. I think his death was meaningful and the natural culmination of his character. A Knight lives to serve. I think Haurchefant was always going to go out sacrificing himself for someone else. If it hadn't been the Vault, it would have been somewhere else. He was a delight and I miss him dearly, but it was a good narrative beat and one I wouldn't change.

Ysayle, on the other hand, I really don't think needed to die. She undergoes a fascinating character arc in Heavensward which I think the writing really drops the ball on at the end. Ideally, I think Ysayle coming to terms with her missteps while continuing to fight for what she believes in would be fantastic. She could have been a meaningful figure in Ishgard's reforms, and she would have made a great Scion. Her death also simply isn't treated with the same reverence as Haurchefant's, and I think that's sad. Heavensward has a bit of a Women Problem, in that it really doesn't give us a lot of female characters who are central to the plot, in contrast to a lot of great and memorable male characters. And the one who is most central dies with a lot less fanfare than WoL BFF Haurchefant. (And I'm not knocking Haurchefant, whom I love dearly, or Aymeric or Estinien! The imbalance is just very noticeable and I wish it wasn't so.)

Stormblood tends to get a bad rap among FFXIV's expansions. It's so common to hear people say it's their least favorite, it wasn't as good as Heavensward, etc. It came up recently in a server I'm in, where a newer player said they were having a bit of content fatigue after Heavensward, and having heard that Stormblood wasn't very good, they were considering buying a story skip. Other responses were, not outright negative, but mostly lukewarm, and I felt like I was the only one who really came out for Stormblood's story. First of all, I don't agree that it's not as good as Heavensward! I grant you that not everyone is as enamored of Fantasy Politics as I am, but as mentioned above, Heavensward is also very political, so I don't really think that's the big difference. Stormblood is maybe a bit grittier in its depiction of war, and that's something I like about it; it's really about the horrors of imperialism and the cost of resistance, and it doesn't pull its punches on that.

Ironically where it does pull its punches is with character deaths, heroes and villains alike. It does feel a little like someone thought they might have hit us too hard in Heavensward, given that we haven't had a lot of major character deaths stick since. I'm not complaining about Gosetsu's return, as I liked him very much and was very happy he lived. I will grumble a little about Zenos, though I'll go easy because I know a lot of people like him. 😛 He just doesn't do much for me. Yotsuyu was a great villain, and I was really dubious when they brought her back, but was pleasantly surprised with how her story ended, to the point that I'm willing to eat a lot of what I said about memory loss as a plot device. They did well with it, and her ultimate death did feel appropriate. Yotsuyu was never going to have a redemption arc, because she didn't want to be redeemed.

It was very refreshing in Stormblood to have more female characters taking essential roles in the plot. Colorism issues aside, I do really like Lyse as a character, and I also loved seeing Yugiri and Alisaie taking prominent roles, especially Alisaie who really hadn't gotten to be in the main plot much before. Rolling around with the three of them was a blast. Raubahn is also a favorite of mine, so seeing him play a major role in Ala Mhigo's liberation and get some character development was excellent. I'm happy that he's stayed involved with the Resistance in the time since.

I also just think Stormblood's new areas are absolutely beautiful. Kugane and the Azim Steppe are particular faves, but I just think they did a great job with the environments and I loved exploring them, including the underwater bits! Eorzea and Ishgard are so European-inspired, and I really enjoyed seeing Asian cultural influences in a fantasy setting. It is after all a Japanese game!

Just this week I finished the reconstruction of the Doman Enclave. As a player who's joined the game more recently, it's always bittersweet to learn about game elements that were temporal and are now lost to time, like the evolution of Mor Dhona during the ARR patches, or the Ishgardian Restoration in the Firmament. I can go hang out in the Firmament and craft and do fêtes and custom deliveries, but I'll never get to see the Firmament being built. It was done when I got there, which for me was after completing 3.3, very soon after completing the main story of Heavensward. The Doman Enclave goes in the other direction. It is a solo experience by necessity, but it's an experience that every new player can have: making their donations every week and watching the Enclave grow. Such things are always a trade-off for an MMO, but between the two, I would definitely choose the one that doesn't lock new players out of the experience.

And to give one last shout-out to Stormblood, I think it's pretty essential setup for what's happening when Shadowbringers begins. It's not just that the Scions are dropping like flies, it's that this is happening on the brink of a full-scale Garlean invasion. Said invasion is also critical to the bad future that G'raha is ultimately trying to prevent. The state and history of Garlemald is inextricably tied to the Ascians who are tied up in all of this. Stormblood is arguably more important to the events of Shadowbringers than Heavensward is, though Heavensward is also not unimportant, both with the continued presence of Estinien (reluctantly so if we believe him 😉), and with the involvement of Tiamat in the Shadowbringers patches. It's all connected!

How it's going! (Shadowbringers)

Urianger is, unsurprisingly, a big part of why I love Shadowbringers so much, as he gets some wonderful character development there and actually gets to be in the plot! But it's not only him—I like how character-driven Shadowbringers is overall, how much the major characters are driving the story and not merely reacting to events. ARR was largely driven by the world itself; the expansions are where the story starts to become character-driven. The driving forces of Heavensward's are much bigger than the main characters, but Haurchefant and Ysayle and Aymeric and Estinien bring a personal face to the conflict and a reason for us to be invested in it. Stormblood's emotional core is Lyse, Yugiri, Gosetsu, and their collective drive to liberate their homelands from Garlean occupation.

Shadowbringers, to me, really brought all of that home. It's not only character-driven but it brings a much more personal touch, I think, to the Scions themselves, with the major players being characters we've known since ARR but now get to know in a deeper way. I've always liked Y'shtola as a character but never felt I really connected with her, and Shadowbringers changed that, even as her story in Shadowbringers is in many ways about her isolation from the others, her (sometimes justified) mistrust and the way she closes herself off even to the people closest to her. Yet there is a deep caring beneath Y'shtola's prickliness as well, which we see in her leadership of the Night's Blessed, the new family she is willing to risk her life for. She's complex and difficult, sometimes angry and stubborn, and we all know I love that in a fictional woman. I really gained a deeper appreciation for her as a character here.

I've said my piece on Minfilia already, so I'll try not to repeat myself too much. I will say that Thancred is the main character I have the hardest time with in Shadowbringers. I appreciated the additional character development given to him at first, but as the story made Minfilia's death more and more all about him to the exclusion of everyone else, the more I started to kind of resent it. It really gets under my skin how he treats Ryne for like, the entire time until Minfilia Prime's final departure. The narrative kind of treats it like oh, he just has a hard time expressing how he really feels! and honestly I don't fully agree with that framing. I think Thancred's cold and harsh attitude toward Ryne does reflect how he really feels at that time—namely, he's angry and lonely and upset for valid reasons, but he's taking them out on a teenager who's fully dependent on him for her survival, to the point that she admits she thinks he hates her. His legitimate pain doesn't justify that to me, and it really kinda chaps my ass how everyone just agrees that he's the one with the most claim to call Ryne family, when Urianger was far kinder, gentler, and more comforting to Ryne than Thancred ever was. And Urianger was in pain too. He also regrets what happened to Minfilia, and his part in it. He was carrying a terrible secret that he couldn't tell his closest friends, which put one of those friends' life in danger. He just owned his feelings, instead of taking them out on a scared kid. I know my bias is obvious, and I swear I don't hate Thancred 😛 but I really didn't like his behavior here and I wasn't really satisfied with the way the narrative handled it.

Probably my least favorite part of Shadowbringers was Vauthry. I just do not like "fat" as shorthand for "evil" and I think there could have been better ways to design him that didn't fall back on that trope. Even Dulia-Chai, a very lovable character in the end whomst we stan, does fall into some fatphobic tropes, and it's unfortunate that in a game without much body diversity (not to single out FFXIV, that's a problem for games generally), we only got fat character models as signifiers for "rich person" (yeah, I get that "fat cat" is the joke, it's just not a good joke) and "repulsive, evil abomination." No love!

On a lighter note, the return of G'raha Tia as the Crystal Exarch was simply wonderful. G'raha was very cute and fun during the Crystal Tower story but his presence was quite short-lived, so we didn't fully get to know him then. I think it's pretty easy to guess that it's him under the hood; he has a distinctive voice and lip shape and also the tower is right there. So the question becomes why he is hiding his identity, what his true motives are, and that's all intriguing! The fact that his plan hinges on his pretending to be the villain at the end and he utterly fails at convincing anyone is… deeply charming. But one of the things I love most about him is the kindness he extends to the people of Norvrandt. Even though his primary mission is the salvation of the Source, he gets attached to these people, offers up the resources of the Crystal Tower freely to improve their lives, helps build a home and sanctuary, fights for the First and becomes deeply invested in their survival as well. He has a huge heart, and I love him. I'm delighted that he gets to return and join the Scions at the end, and it's already been a lot of fun to have him along on the patch quests.

And of course, Urianger my love. 💜 He really shines in this story and every scene with him was a delight, even when I was climbing the walls needing to know what he was hiding. He gets so much good character development in Shadowbringers I could go on for hours about it, but I did especially love the Echo scene where you see G'raha asking him to lie—and you see how much he doesn't want to do it. Urianger's really been on a long arc ever since Moenbryda's death, and I don't think that arc is over yet, but my biggest worry for him as the cracks started to form in his story was that we'd find he hadn't changed, and was lying here for the same reasons he did in the Heavensward patches, and as easily. And that's not the case at all. He hated doing it before, and he really doesn't want to do it again, but G'raha's reasoning is just too strong for him to refuse. I brought it up recently but I think Shadowbringers reveals an Urianger who despite his long isolation really doesn't want to be alone, and does want his friends' understanding and approval and their trust. The look he gives the Warrior of Light if they say they trust him, and then the way he submits himself to their judgment when things go wrong while begging to be allowed to help fix things… god. I love him. And I'll stop there for now, since I'm sure I'll have a lot more to say about him in the future. ;)

Emet-Selch is a fascinating villain, certainly the most interesting Ascian we've seen so far, and the one who finally turns what have been fairly two-dimensional powerful bad guys into a truly motivated and complex faction. My favorite villains are always the ones who believe they're the hero, and there are a lot of parallels between Emet-Selch and Solas from Dragon Age: Inquisition which will be obvious to anyone who's played both games. FFXIV being a more linear story afford the player a lot less choice in how they respond to their villains true motives and history, but there's definitely still an expectation that we will sympathize somewhat with Emet-Selch, and recognize the tragedy of what happened to his people.

Ardbert's ghost, too, was a welcome addition to the story. Between his presence and the role quests (which were 100% worth doing in their entirety), I felt like we finally got to actually know the Warriors of Darkness against which we briefly clashed back in the Heavensward patches, and I really felt the pathos of their story, all they fought for and lost, but also their friendship and how they cared for one another.

Shadowbringers is beautiful in so many ways. The design of the Crystarium is gorgeous. Il Mheg is probably my favorite location in the game so far. Eulmore is a fascinating dark mirror of Limsa Lominsa. The way the game takes the idea of "a world being swallowed by light" and interprets that visually is so stunning. The sky over Lakeland arrests you immediately upon arrival, and the crystallization of the Flood of Light where it was halted at the edged of Amh Araeng is a chilling reminder of how much the First has already lost. The music has also been a highlight for me! I really adore the Shadowbringers music, and it has prompted me to go about collecting orchestrion rolls more deliberately than I had before.

The more I sit and write about how much I loved this expansion, the more I think of, so while I could definitely go on, I think I'll wrap it up there. 🙂

Onward to Endwalker. I'm not making any predictions this time, because I have done my absolute damnedest to stay unspoiled for this one and I know very little about what's coming other than what the locations are, what's been revealed in the Shadowbringers patches, and that it's the end of the big story arc we've been on since ARR. I'm extremely excited.

[girlfriendsofthegalaxy]

tuesday again 3/28/2023

accidentally read five books.

listening

look i know there's a new fall out boy but i have conflicting opinions about that band bc i am no longer seventeen.

MARINA (formerly Marina and the Diamonds) was another artist coming up when i was in high school, but even though Family Jewels was one of the first albums i really got into, she has soundtracked far less of my life compared to FOB so listening to her is a little less fraught. nothing else has taken up space in my brain this week like the lyrics to hollywood: "hollywood infected your brain/you wanted kissing in the rain".

kind of obsessed how the music video cuts out an entire chunk of lyrics about dissatisfied flight attendants? also jesus christ this came out in 2010. BABY marina

originally stuck in my brain bc my sister and i were talking about the musical chicago, and this song contains the lyrics "oh my god you look just like shakira/no wait you're catherine zeta/actually my name's marina"

-

reading

Star Wars: Dark Disciple by Christie Golden. ventress has never been my favorite of count dooku’s batmanesque kidnapped children. i respect her! she’s awful! i want to see her flirt with obi-wan more but maul (my beloved) has always had more screen time and depth.

it’s spackled together from most of a cancelled eight-episode clone wars arc and it kind of shows? this is not to say that star wars books are uninterested in the interiority of their characters, but we rarely get in their heads. star wars books are much more focused on what it looks like in the movie— there are big cinematic set pieces where it’s important to know exactly where everyone is in a fight.

golden writes a competent action scene. this is more than i can say for many star wars writers.

^ i am shoving my fist into my mouth and screaming.

anyway, one of my worst character traits is a latent previously discussed fondness for steampunk and a less latent fondness for urban fantasy.

i read Alexis Hall's Iron and Velvet Kate Kane book a million years ago possibly at the rec of @bronanlynchh during the new hampshire internship, one of the worst depressive periods of my life, but i did consume a lot of gay romance during that period. bc im in my noir era now, reread it and realized there were more! so i devoured them all over the weekend.

to quote @quaraxuanzenith who seems to be the only other person here who has read them recently,

have you ever thought, "Twilight sure is a book, but it would be better if Bella ( a ) realized that Edward is a weird controlling creep, ( b ) dumped him, ( c ) came out to herself as lesbian, and ( d ) went off to become a paranormal private investigator"?

these are just fun nonsense! i loved them and will buy paper copies after i move! i would not call these "spicy", but she falls in and out of the arms of SO many femmes and fatales (who sometimes overlap). there are SO many women throwing themselves at her. it is a delightful way of nodding at the genre's roots bc kate has some game! she doesn't have zero game! she not an oblivious useless lesbian archetype either! but she's usually like ?????? this person is OUT OF MY LEAGUE and never actually realizes a tall, tortured, sad, purple-eyed lady in a trenchcoat is catnip to nearly all wlw.

i think the third book hits its stride and flings you into a rapidly entangling web of loyalties and motivations that i really enjoy in a noir. i like how the author feels no need to write the YA vampire book trilogy she survived. i like how kate has a life going on apart from the stuff that happens in the books. she does not feel like she started existing the moment the book opens.

i finally understand the little old lady love of endless mystery series, bc this is some really comforting reading. i would read twenty of these. i trust that this author's got me and may fling some twists or red herrings at me but ultimately i won't turn the page and she'll be beaten in the street for being an out lesbian. okay so she does get whumped in the street but it's for case reasons

-

watching

virtuosity (1995, dir leonard). the tagline of this film is "Hell hath no fury like a composite of 183 serial killers. Meet Sid 6.7"

is this a Good film? oh god no. if you've seen the tv show interview with the vampire, it has the same contrasting vibes between the two leads, where one is turning in an incredible performance about a black man trying to hold onto family and dignity while the other is prancing around like a deranged show pony. except without the clarity of purpose or production values of a big budget amc tv drama. however, russell crowe (guy i love to see) put his whole ass into this performance. this is not a half-assed acting effort. it is a joy to watch him zip around screen while denzel washington is giving a very good performance as a disgraced, widowed ex-cop.

this really throws a wrench into my whole "if a movie is about being afraid of a robot it's about being afraid of women" bc crowe is not a woman, but he is a malevolent neural network given an android body. a private company has a contract for a police training tool (the neural network trained on 183 serial killers who you can fight in VR) and is testing the interface on prisoners. i wish this movie had anything to say or critique about this three-way partnership other than using it as an inciting incident for what turns into a chase movie. the movie does not attempt to convince you this would be a good idea in a different private company's dev team but i wish the movie spent slightly less time going AAAAAA HOW TO STOP and any time at all going AAAAAAA HOW DID WE LET THIS HAPPEN

i would call this film camp on vibes alone except it is almost completely uninterested in sensuality. the special effects have not aged very well at all, but the film has the same production designer (Nilo Rodis-Jamero) as Johnny Mnemomic (also 1995) so the film Looks.

why? it was leaving canopy soon and when my gender isn't "woman in the same way a sailing ship is a woman" it's "nineties movie club scenes"

-

playing

weird west! still! (image from the steam page bc i keep forgetting to take screenshots)

not terribly worried about the somewhat repetitive nature of the locations themselves, bc the enemy encounters are varied enough it feels like solving a new puzzle each time. also im still having fun.

i have been picking off guys from around the edges of enemy encampments with a silenced rifle and then tanking through this rest with a shotgun and liberal bandage application, as i am wont to do in shooty games, but i cannot currently break my husband out of a mine run by...cannibals? human traffickers to the cannibals? the xp-giving bad guys without getting one of my companions killed. i really don't want to ditch ann lara (i'm not entirely sure what her deal is? sort of a smooth-talking hustler archetype? but really good with pistols?) who has been with me for most of the eight hours i've played this game. the sheriff/my neighbor, along for the ride for her own reasons, has four times as much health as either of us so she's staying. she's been the only one left alive most of my attempts at this one FUCKING cave.

so i am looping back out into the world (sorry husband) to go think about some real tactics. practice my dodge rolls in a less tense environment. perhaps level up some guns and armor. now you might say "kay! isn't it worrying that you're hitting such a big difficulty cliff?" and to that i say "not really bc i cannot stress the amount of simply dicking around and exploring ive done, also i am not a clever woman."

-

making

fallow week

[rockybloo]

Thinking of writing a fanfic crossover where Jack and Nana end up in Decking city after a magical accident (Still fleshing out the details of how said accident worked).

If comfortable answering:

I'm curious about how you think Nana and Jack would react to such a such a big change in a new place like that, in a general sense. Especially if there's a bigger issue bringing them here and they realize they have to solve it to go home.

Thank you, and lovely day either way ପ(๑•ᴗ•๑)ଓ ♡

A fanfic of Jack and Nana would make me screech because they are the most ship ever for me and I'd be overjoyed. 😭💚❤️ The concept of anyone considering taking time out of their day and writing a fic about my OCs in general makes me happy.

and WOW my brain waves are powerful because I was literally thinking of an old Beanstalked plot point that basically dealt with the idea of how the main team get yeeted from Lore to Earth and have to figure out how to get back and how to tie it to Glitter and Guilt for a funny little crossover arc.

I won't go into detail about the ACTUAL events that cause it to potentially happen (bc I dunno if I'll do it...I mean I probably will but as a separate oneshot from the main storylines of both stories) BUT I can def answer how Jack and Nana would respond to a similar situation.

This will be a long one so buckle in

First thing to know is that Lore and Earth are two separate planets in the same solar system. Both are waaay closer than either think.

Lore occupants know about Earth, specifically they know it as "The World without Magic/Happy Endings/Fairy Tales/etc." It's kinda of mythicized.

Earth has no idea Lore is a thing because Lore has magic rings (kinda like Saturn's but cooler I dare say) that spin around it and make it invisible.

Bloopers are a glitch in reality in Lore where things from Earth often pop up there. Often old or lost objects.

Jack works part time for Baba, who tends to have a whole bunch of bloopers in his shop, which means he has very mild knowledge of Earth. Not a whole lot but if he winded up there-he would know "Oh! This is Earth!" and he'd be able to point out some stuff and name it. So he would know a car when he sees one-it's just a matter of actually being aware of how one works.

Hazel and Kettle have a TON of bloopers they hoard in their bedroom which serves as the attic for the inn Miss Castor is the keeper of. Specifically, they have the super fun bloopers like retro game consoles and comic books. Chances are, they even have some Sweetheart merch but are under the belief that she is merely fictional character.

So Jack is vaguely aware of Sweetheart. SPECIFICALLY as "The pink hero my little siblings thinks is cool".

Merch of villains is a whole lot more locked down with most being illegal save for what is made for the Decking City Park of Heroes AKA the Disney World/Universal Studios of Decking City entirely focusing on it's homegrown hero culture.

So Bitterbat is def not someone Jack is aware of.

When it comes to Nana, she doesn't really dabble much in bloopers or even learning about Earth. Unless it's from Jack's ramblings or mini adventures, she tends to limit herself to Lore and its shenanigans. She spent most her life living in a forest and is just now branching out to learn more about Briar Patch and Lore as a whole thanks to Jack making her realize "Oh hey the outside world is kinda fun".

She's taking baby steps and Earth is a very big jump she ain't trynna make yet.

So when it comes to them getting yeeted to Earth, SPECIFICALLY Decking City, Nana is def more reliant on Jack when it comes to knowledge. Where ever he is going, she is gonna be right there, hugging onto one of his arms for dear life because neither wants to lose the other.

Decking City is very interesting with how it's the least mundane setting for Jack and Nana to wind up in, which works perfectly because they come from a fantasy world. They will ironically feel a lot more comfortable when they see a giant monster attacking or some hero versus villain battle going on than dealing with crossing the street with a buncha traffic or even walking through a grocery store aka over stimulant central.

The biggest problem would be adapting to their temporary stay. Decking City is loud and busy and both would be overwhelmed quite easily from just the sights and sounds alone. A city is vastly more imposing than a kingdom when it comes to its buildings and even then, Jack and Nana spend most their time in Briar Patch which is a small humble town.

Nana would have the worse time because her keen Lupine hearing means every car honk, screech of tires, Kaiju alert siren, civilian yelling at another civilian, would lead to the biggest headache.

Protecting the other and making sure they're safe is their main priority. They care deeply about each other and seeing the constant look of discomfort on Nana's face and how nervous she is is enough to break Jack's heart. And the second anyone so much as breathes in the slightest bit of irritation at Jack seeming to not know where or what he's doing, under the belief he's a tourist, would lead to Nana snarling with her full set of chompers on display.

That's enough to cause anyone in the proximity to steer clear of them...or at least treat Jack very nicely because it's very obvious the two are traveling together.

ULTIMATELY, both would want some safe place so they can gather their thoughts, which are currently being scrambled by the city sights and sounds, calm down and figure out what they need to do to get back home.

Whatever they need to do, they are def willing to accomplish because they are used to being in some slice of hell situations. They've always figured their way out of them. Back on Lore, the gang adventures a bunch and have encountered a lot. Some of which I cannot share for spoilers but just know they are no strangers to dealing with the unknown.

It's just a big matter of figuring out exactly what unknown they are dealing with this time.

[turbulentscrawl]

hi hi! i hope you're doing well ^^ i'd love to request a match up if that's okk!

i use they/them pronouns, dress mostly in masc/androgynous clothing and prefer feminine terms/pet names (a whole shit show i know 🥴). i'm demiromantic/demisexual and would prefer being matched with a male if that's okk. i'm INFP 9w1, neutral good, leo rising, libra sun, pisces moon.

as far as personality goes, i'm described by others as open minded, slightly extroverted, blunt, honest, witty and flirty. while i am aware that i am indeed all these things, it's mostly a facade. i tend to be shy, introverted, can seem pretty cold and distant if you only see me from afar and don't approach me but i just have a hard time showing love and care so openly unless i'm comfortable with the person. not sure if you know these characters, but mostly like a vanitas, dazai, scaramouche, lyney type beat personality.

to expand a bit more on the outer personality, i do tend to be flirtatious towards people who i know i have an effect on or are easily flustered, it's pretty fun and cute to see how they react. all fun and games till someone pulls a reverse card on me tho, if someone tries to do the same to me, i immediately get flustered and stumble over my words because i genuinely never expect the reciprocation. as for inner personality, i did say im not so open about showing love and care unless im comfortable with the person but once i am comfortable enough, i go to hell and back to smother them with so much love, especially with gifting things and lengthy paragraphs (because im bad verbally). what does get me to fold most of the time is someone straightforward, doesn't beat around the bush on what they want to say or do because i do like being caught off guard by such people and it just makes me happy (and quite flustered) knowing that they're so open about it.

i'm currently in university studying communications so my interest mostly are in medias like socials, tv, movies, radio, photography, etc. my main focuses are tv and photography however. with tv, i really enjoy the behind scenes work of it. being able to set up the space and bring it to life. just seeing your creation put into motion is just the most satisfying feeling ever. as for photography, i just enjoy the serenity of it (as if i'm not cursing the weather and people that get into a shot every 5 minutes but anyway), it's very calming in its own way. i have a personal preference for landscape photography since nature and ambiance itself have a lot to offer/say for itself but really i'm just bad at telling others how to pose and what emotion to convey. i just prefer to let them do their own thing unless there's something in particular i really want.

i tend to daydream a lot, like excessively. maladaptive daydreaming go brrr, bUT ANYWAY. i could go on hours and hours daydreaming, that type of daydreaming that got you walking around the house and shit to help you envision things better. because of the excessive daydreaming, i do sometimes write but only when i'm feeling down or stressed as a way to cope.

another thing that i do is watch a lot of videos and movies. i mostly watch fantasy related movies and my all time favorite movie is coraline, with nightmare before christmas in second place. i have an absolute soft spot and big love for stop motion movies and love watching the behind the scenes of it, for any movie tbh because i just love seeing how things come to life and how the crew works to create such things. for videos, it's just watching others talk while they play a game or do something. i just like hearing people talk about things they're doing or enjoy while they're actively doing something, it keeps me engaged.

i do game a lot! mostly genshin and idv, but i do play a few other games as well and i'm willing to try any game once if someone asks, especially if it's a multiplayer/coop game since i feel like games are more enjoyable with other people. hmm, other things i do are book readings and tarot! i have a lot of fantasy books that i've bought over the years as well as many tarot decks (my wallet is not okay 💀😭). tarot in particular is something i've always been fascinated and interested in so i've researched and gotten into it for a few years now!

not really sure what else to say about me tbh so i hope this is enough 😭 thank you in advance!

I Ship You With Andrew Kreiss!

-Andrew does better with people who aren't social butterflies (because it allays his fears that you prefer the other people you speak to over him), and who like to keep the peace (because they're often good for helping with Andrew's constant grumpy-boy miscommunication.) He's also a bit slow to warm to people, but it sounds like you're a bit of the same, albeit with better manners.

-A fun mix, Andrew is blunt enough and you flirty enough that you constantly fluster one another. He's crass and direct, and though he may stutter and flush beet-red sometimes, Andrew is usually good about telling people what he wants. He's also not used to people complimenting or flattering him, so he flusters easily. You're constantly blushing around one another.

-He's mostly indifferent to your daydreaming. Andrew is more philosophical than he lets on, and you two could easily have an hour or two of lounging in the gardens, you zoned out and him contemplating life. Alternatively, just leave your lap open so he can take a nap. Andrew loves to have his hair played with.

-Andrew lacks any real "hobbies" as most of his life up to this point has been consumed with the church and survival. He's likely to follow you around as you engage in yours and try to figure out if they're things he's interested in as well. I don't think he's likely to be a tech-y guy even in a modern world, so he's more liable to read a book along with you than play a video game.

-Photography might actually help Andrew with some of his self-image issues! Getting him to pose would be a hard-won battle, but if you take a lot of candid pictures of Andrew, and especially if you fawn over them, it gives him a lot to think about. At some point, he has to accept that you don't find him monstrous in any way.

Runner Up: Naib Subedar

[rakuya-nikki]

Re:Zero - Entry #11

I've spent the past several days fervently rewatching Re:Zero, and not only did I learn a lot of new words and get great studying from it, but I was able to remember just how much I love this show.

I'm usually not good with gore. Well, "usually" as in I'm still not good with gore. There's a particular scene in the show involving some... bunnies, that I had to skip because I can not handle that shit lmfao. But I feel like this show has just enough of that kind of stuff to where I can deal with it. I definitely don't wish I was Subaru, though, that's for sure.

This show's themes of self-worth, loneliness, never giving up, finding out how to better oneself, and so many other things, are really interesting, especially when compared to other Isekai. The idea of "dying and starting at a checkpoint" is already a brilliant concept to base a realistic, dark fantasy story off of, but it's really executed so well in this show.

I never really thought about it before, but this pseudo-time travel mechanic really is like Majora's Mask. And just like that game, this show manages to use that to create amazing characters, motivations, reactions and emotions. People will do things slightly different for various reasons per each "round", and it really makes them feel complex and human, even if a... lot of characters are... very extra lol.

In terms of my favorite characters, obviously Subaru has a big leg up given how he's the main focus for so much character development. And he really does feel like his own character. Like, he's not someone you, the viewer, want to insert themselves into. Hell, like I said before, I'm really glad I'm not him. This is a story, one of someone who constantly compares himself to and relies on others, who utterly lacks self-worth or love, who believes he has to bear the burden of pain and suffering in place of everyone else.

When I first watched the show, I was younger, more depressed, had much less self-worth instilled in me, and those themes were really impactful at that time. Of course, I was also bittered by them a bit, in the sense that I didn't have a Rem to tell me they loved me, or an Echidna to be a source of comfort (albeit not good comfort). I didn't have an Emilia to fall in love with or anything. But I also didn't have a horde of bunnies eating me alive so that's fair. Anyways, yeah, even if I didn't have the cast of beautiful women (and, more importantly, Otto) to help reassure my self-worth and show me the love that I wanted, I still took heart in the idea of loving yourself.

The show loses some impact upon second viewing, but it also helps me really appreciate the pacing and ordering of events. When you first watch it, things can feel kind of hopeless, scattered, chaotic, painful. Which, I reckon, is part of the point, and it's impressive the show can make you feel those things. But watching it while knowing everything that happens really helps me notice how intentional certain details or events are, and how everything connects and affects Subaru and the others. It's a really solid show.

I'm so excited for Season 3 to happen, though I dunno when that'll be. Much like Mushoku Tensei, I may have to add this to my list of "things to read eventually". Though apparently the Light Novel is not progressing very quickly. Oh well, it's an option.

The show is full of so much emotion. In its facial expressions, in its incredible voice acting, and in its events. The scene at the very end of Season 1's final episode is perhaps one of the best bombshells to end a season ever. Like, you did all of that work, half a season's worth of scheming and fighting, to finally overcome it, and at the very end, you find out that just one of the things you were trying to protect is... gone. Especially the way the show starts out Season 2, with the despair, the willingness for Subaru to end his own life to try it over again, only to realize his checkpoint has been updated to after it's happened, so he can't possibly save her.

It's such a powerful way to take what looked like an overall victory, and bring back some reality to the situation. It's grim. It's really impactful. The show's full of those moments, where you can feel Subaru's anger, anguish, relief, pain. And, like I said before, the emotions on display through the facial expressions and voice acting is unbelievable. I don't think I've ever seen a show depict such emotions as well.

Very impressive show, I'm so glad to be able to experience it once again. And not only that, but get some great studying out of it too. The show's language is a lot more complicated than I was expecting, but because of it, I've made over 100 flash cards and got so much practice. I was even able to point out some certain words that, I can tell, this author likes to use more than other people. At least, I think so. It's cool to be able to notice those types of things.

My favorite characters are either Echidna, Emilia, Subaru, or Beatrice. Though I love Otto too. When I first watched Season 1, when I was younger, Rem became my comfort character (I refuse to use the word "waifu"), but I've since forgotten who that character is. Unfortunate.

[talenlee]

Game Pile: Why Do Trans Women Love Fallout New Vegas

Released in 2010, Fallout New Vegas is a classic of the FPS-shooter RPG genre, bringing forward the Fallout 3 engine’s integration of real-time FPS combat with the previous Fallout game’s turn-based mathematical combat, and integrating them into a sort of ‘second parse’ at the let’s politely say rough execution of Fallout 3. In this game, which I have reviewed in the past, literally ten years and a much more closely-hewn Yahtzee Impression ago, you play a character called The Courier starting at the point in their story where a traumatic head injury gives you an opportunity to intervene in the existing story with a potentially all new, all exciting direction.

The story is a sort of noir cowboy steampunk fantasy – there’s the trappings of modern technology and post-apocalyptica, but the world that was and its infrastructure isn’t really important as much as it just sweeps aside a lot of options for progress. Technology is chunky and heavy and there’s a durability to everything, where things break, but they can always be fed more technology to make them un-break. Everything has an independence to it, a scrounging, foraging, make-it-work, it’ll-do-for-now technologism all typified with a gun at your hip and your duster fluttering in the hot wind.

Also, I guess, Content Warning: Drugs and violence, because that’s a thing that happens in the game and kinda comes up in this conversation. A bit. I just want one person at least to be more comfortable reading this, going on.

And it is notorious for being a game beloved by trans women. So much so that it’s a meme unto itself, a joke about being into Fallout New Vegas being a gateway to the experience of being a trans woman. And as an investigator of games, I thought I could, this Pride Month, explain to you, why all trans women love Fallout New Vegas:

They don’t, largely.

Oh, sure, there are trans women who are fans of Fallout New Vegas. A bunch of them! And they tend to describe ideas in Fallout New Vegas that excite them, it tends to be things like:

I get to shoot Matthew Perry in the face

The story is all constructed such that everyone’s story is somehow ensnared with the dam

There’s a meaningful dialectic between Caesar’s legion and his own ideology

You can do drugs and shoot baddies

Cazadores are amazing

Cazadores suck

The Courier has a backstory, has a meaningful life and narrative that you have to reconstruct through play

There’s an anti-nuclear thread running throughout the whole story

Spurs go jingle jangle jingle

The final building is exciting and beautiful and engaging

The idea that Las Vegas strip is the kind of thing that survives our worst end is darkly funny and what we deserve

There’s more. When I compose a list of this kind of thing reflecting on feedback, I’m typically trying to collapse together similar responses, and there really isn’t a lot of commonality between these unless you start to get really broad. And when you get that broad, what it tends to come down to is:

It’s an enjoyable game and I find it engaging.

What’s more there’s some feedback I got that doesn’t match the feedback given. Now, I did ask explicitly only to trans readers to respond to this question, so I have assumed that everyone who responded did, but normally, when I ask a question like ‘what’s something about this gam that excites you’ and you find a way to structure your answer to be a dunk on the question or complaining about something unrelated, I think of that as not answering the question and not being helpful.

But still, in the sense of completeness we also got:

The game is buggy and I don’t like it

The game didn’t leave an impression on me

I’ve never played the game

And okay, was this what you were expecting? These are all pretty distinct opinions, some fine enough to be about individual mobs in the game, some are big and expansive about the metatextual structure of the story, some are about the values of the story and some are about the storytelling devices and some are uuuh just about the sheer enjoyment you can get out of shooting racists while high off your face. Every explanation I’ve heard from trans people about why they personally like Fallout New Vegas has been specifically about liking the game as a game.

Not as a piece of Trans Media. Not as a piece of Trans Representation. It’s not even a game with a blatant expression of Trans Rights – you can turn the lens of this game pretty easily to see it making fun of ‘man in a dress’ narratives, if you want. You could also play the whole game and never notice the bit I’m talking about! Missing Cazadores or the Dam or the Nuclear themes? That’d be a lot harder by comparison. And Fallout New Vegas is also just a very popular game, that lots of people like.

The idea that trans women love Fallout New Vegas is therefore a kind of floating signifier. Lots of people like Fallout New Vegas. It’s not a secret mysterious cult hit. It doesn’t need special trans significance to be a beloved game in the trans community. Coming out in the right chunk of time for a community with common interests means that of course a bunch of them would relate to it. You might as well point out the common thread of trans women using Windows 7, because in the same general band of time they probably did.

Now, I don’t know if you’re aware of this, but memes are not, in and of themselves, all that complex. They’re sticky, they’re reduced coagulations of meaning, but the real thing a meme is is a unit of communication. A meme transmits meaning, and that meaning needs to be shareable. You might be familiar with some memes already like this, such as, y’know, words. The purpose of memes is therefore not so much to be explanatory in and of themselves, but to be useful for explanation. The fancy term we use for this, in describing a network of memes with related meanings that indicate a communal space, a sort of ‘meme dialect’ that a community holds to, is the word memeplex.

There’s also the potential of a sort of permissive diagnostics of it. The nature of being trans is often an end point of a series of conversations with the self and with others that are entirely about undoing a series of mental hurdles that are meant to stop trans people from considering themselves trans. Some folks have had a rock-solid ironclad long-term consideration of their gender in one way, and for some folk it’s a lot more complicated. Maybe you think ‘I would be a trans woman, but’ or ‘I mean, if I was a trans woman I’d be unhappy because I wouldn’t be attractive’ or ‘man, I’m jealous of trans women getting to solve something so simple about themselves and becoming happy,’ and those thoughts are often part of this same trapping matrix of ideas.

Maybe there’s no special reason trans girls love Fallout New Vegas, but maybe you love Fallout New Vegas because you’re a trans girl. And if that sounds like incoherent nonsense to you, then don’t worry about it.

It’s not a message for or about you.

Now join me next time for why I talk about so many trans dudes own a short-sleeved collared blue shirt with a repeating pattern of something like white dots on it.

Check it out on PRESS.exe to see it with images and links!

#GamePile #Games

[roleplayfinder]

hello!! i'm astro, i'm recently getting back into the rp scene and i'm looking to find some one on one rp partners! a little about me is i'm 26, engaged and a fulltime caretaker for an elderly family member! i use it/its pronouns but if you struggle with neos, he/him is also okay.

i'm mainly looking for oc roleplays, but i'm totally open to fandom cc x cc roleplays as well!!! i'll list the fandoms i'm interested in below!

as for oc, i love building characters with my partners and almost making things up as we go. i love the creativity that comes with constant collaboration. genre wise, i would prefer romance aspects, though it doesn't have to be the focus of the rp! just something to add to the story! i also love creating side characters, whether they're reoccurring or one off characters! i am not an nsfw roleplayer, so if that's what you're looking for, i'm afraid i am not the one for you! i'm super into fantasy, supernatural, thriller/horror settings, darker themes, slice of life and fandom worlds when it comes to ocs!

as for fandoms, i'll list fandoms and ships as well as which characters i prefer playing!!! the characters i prefer writing as will be bold and italicised!

jujutsu kaisen:

megumi x yuuji (i will absolutely not accept megumi with sukuna, gojo, nanami or any other adult in this series. proshippers are not safe to interact with me.)

yuuta x inumaki

getou x gojo

genshin impact:

scaramouche x childe

xiao x aether

scaramouche x kazuha

kaveh x alhaitham

honkai: star rail:

caelus x dan heng/dan heng il

hades (video game):

zagreus x thanatos

red, white & royal blue (i prefer the book's storyline and characterisation):

henry x alex

there are various other medias i'm super intersted in that don't have big fandoms so if you ever wanna explore, let me know!! as for partner requirements, i'm not comfortable with anyone under the age of 19 simply because of the age gap. i am literate to novella third person pov and would appreciate someone who is similar!! i can usually reply once or twice a day depending, but if i'm super into it, i can reply three or four!!! i am most comfortable roleplaying on discord as i love making servers with my rp partners! f you're interested, interact with this or message me and i'll get back to you as soon as i can!!!

again, i am not an nsfw roleplayer and proshippers are not safe to interact or reach out.

.

[fandxmslxt69]

HAIII, MY WIFE!!! <3

I saw your new ask game and I couldn’t help but jump right on it. I’m forcing you to be nice to yourself with this one. Mwahaha! >:)

🎀 Give yourself a compliment about your own writing

💥 Find your least kudos'd fic - say something wonderful about it.

🎙️ Which one of your fics would you like someone to make a pod-fic of?

aaaaaaaaa noooooooooooooooooo complimenting my work is soooo hard........

🎀 Give yourself a compliment about your own writing

UGH. okay. um i'm gonna say it again, i like developing settings and characters and i think i do it good. i love establishing character dynamics and getting to delve into them and i think im pretty good at it!! And um, i've been told my descriptions/narrations in setting is really nice, so there's that! I love setting the scene. I love getting that vision anf furiously writing it down. Currently, i'm very happy with my writing!! I haven't been posting many fics, since I've been focusing on drafting my novel all November, but it's thrilling to say that i'm really happy with how its going!!! i reread it and i giggle a lot!! Its not perfect, its a first draft, BUT its MY first draft and comparing it to my old stuff makes me fill up with joy at how far i've come!!! I've gotten better, and I've found my own flow, so thank god for that.

💥 Find your least kudos'd fic - say something wonderful about it.

HMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM. Okay, i'm gonna look at rbs mostly.

Probably Enchanted 2 (at 15 rbs) and I'm Proud of You (at 16 rbs) which is...well i dont know. Enchanted is really disheartening, since the first part really hit off well, so idk what happened? But I loved writing it. I love creating that almost magical setting i had envisioned. I loved messing around with Loki and getting to write through his eyes, and pick through his brain. As for I'm Proud of You, its kinda annoying since my OTHER comfort fics went HIGH so idk? maybe its bc the others were MK? I DONT KNOW!!! but, i really liked it. I think it was the first comfort thing I wrote purely for myself. I was having a shitty night, well, i think it was a shitty few days, and being able to just write it all out for myself and then feeling comfortable enough to put it out there is...pretty big. i usually keep my shit out of my fics, but im happy i made the step to find some comfort in them.

🎙️ Which one of your fics would you like someone to make a pod-fic of?

UMMMMMMMM Lesson Not Learnt im such a whore for saying that but IM ACTUALLY SO PROUD OF THAT THING I JUST !!!!!!!!! But, then also, there's Enchanted. IDK I love the whole....magical fantasy vibe of it, i'd be honoured f someone was willing to bring that to life with a pod-fic

UGH THANK YOU FOR THE ASKS CUTIE <3 really had me thinking again!!!!

[keeponquinning]

frost thaws and roses bloom — multi-chaptered masterlist

koner x margaery tyrell — game of thrones divergent — 18+

Summary — MARGAERY TYRELL should not be alive. Whispers and declarations of her death had spread throughout the Seven Kingdoms. The rose of Highgarden had burnt as the Great Sept of Baelor had crumbled, consumed by the green flames of wildfire. But then... How is it, while on patrol, one of House Stark's guards, KONER, comes across a lady, disoriented, barely speaking until she collapsed into his arms, that bears the striking resemblance, according to Lady SANSA STARK, of the burnt rose? Why, after, could he not rid his mind of thoughts of her? As she, too, seemed to be drawn to him as well? He is just a guard, providing for himself and his little sister, he should only mind of his own matters and keep away from just his duty. Yet...when she smiles, it's like the warmth of the sun rains down upon him, and for the life of him, he cannot look away.

Notes — Before Stranger Things, this show had caught my attention and my comfort character was Margaery Tyrell. This did not bode well or ended well for me! But now here to make it right, combining my two loves and giving them the ending they deserve. I will rely on my knowledge of the show, the books, maybe, some elements, I haven't read them in full ( will i ever?? who knows ) but definitely some depictions of the world its in, spoilers of the show, blood magic, and all the fantasy. I'm planning on, like the books, each chapter being a perspective of a character, so far definitely between KONER and MARGAERY, maybe add in others as well. I just want a big epic romance between these two because look at them! LOOK AT THAT BANNER! They are BEAUTIFUL. Bi panic is what we strive for.

Like this to be added to the tag list for chapters!

M A S T E R L I S T ! I. KONER | II. MARGAERY

TAGLIST :