#and everything to do with my crippling fear of being abandoned by my loved ones and ending up completely alone. apparently.

[nightcolorz]

HI CUTIE PIE ARMANDTOLOGIST THE LOVE OF MY LIFE I have a question and it’s really important

Does Armand like Dr Pepper yes or no

(But also actually thoughts on the way they changed up Armand’s backstory in the show? Cuz now he’s kinda like musical Armand and ik you love that guy real, I JUST WANT UR THOUGHTS)

HI BELOVED HUSBAND LOML SECOND IN COMMAND ARMANDOLOGIST 😍😍😍😍😍❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

thus is an amazing question….Armand loves doctor pepper and he has a crippling addiction to it (I know this bcus he told me). The fizzy texture makes him tweak out like cats do when they go crazy randomly and his eyes go huge and dilated and he rolls around wildly for like ten minutes straight 🥰

My thoughts on how they changed up Armand’s backstory in the show is that I LOVE IT!! 🙏🙏so so true so true I love musical Armand he is so funny and real, that is such a good comparison. What I love about musical armand is that in making armand a very visible explicit adult while keeping his backstory relatively the same they kind of lean into this alternate reality where by growing up Armand sort of experienced living “past his prime” and was turned in less of a preservation of his beauty and youth (🤢) and more of in a panicked, pathetic last ditch move, which rlly kind of hammers home the sad kicked dog vibe he has ❤️. Like, I love the thematic value of Armand being an eternal child so much. It’s just so so sad and effective, picturing him as this visible child who is yknow, torturing and killing ppl and leading cults, and even owning property and running businesses, but no matter what he is doing he is always displaying this very apparent physical reminder of his stunted growth and his trauma, that will always be anyone’s first impression of him, that causes him active inconveniences and insecurities. He’s a physical embodiment of the most vulnerable time in his life, trying despite it to gain respect and instill fear. He’s like a child ghost!! I love how his stunted growth manifests as a disability, I love how he is often perceived as a girl bcus of his appearance which adds a trans layer, i love how when Armand’s sad he appears for a moment like the child who was abused, I love love love it.

And that version of Armand will always be my favorite, but I still LOVE the way in the show (and musical before her) is doing it. Back on the topic of the musical, while I don’t think it can carry the same layer of tragedy and depth as the books, the musical frames Armand in a way that’s very upsetting in a different way. He’s like, very pathetic 😭. This grown ass man still stuck in time as a “beautiful youth”, longing for the man who sexually abused him when he was fifteen, stuck in the mindset of the child he was, looking for his past in everything he does and everyone he meets. It’s different, but still carry’s that tragic weight 😭. But the musical wasn’t interested (or maybe didn’t have the time) in exploring that tragedy in any depth, so Armand’s pathetic past his prime vibe is framed more as almost comedically embarrassing then sad. And on the note of the show!!!!! What I love so so much about show Armand’s backstory changes is that they take what the musical was putting down but didn’t have time for and explore it with all the weight it needs, and it’s SO GOOD!!!

Armand as not of a literal external youth but instead a metaphorical one, a technical adult who was kept as a slave and treated as a child for his entire adulthood until he was eventually thrust into vampirism and subsequently abandoned, so he carry’s this internal stunting, is AMAZING. He was raised in a way that instilled in him and prevented him from ever being a functioning, independent person, and then forced into roles of dire leadership and horrible loneliness. In one of my fics I compare him to a pampered lap dog who’s been abandoned on the streets. Amc Armand reminds me of the song memory from cats, which has always reminded me of Armand but hits harder in this version. He’s so 😭😭 abandoned elderly cat who is longing for his past (which for Armand was super shitty, but remains the only time he was loved) and just looking to experience that love and comfort again 😭. The “love and comfort” that was sexual and physical abuse and literal enslavement 😭. It’s so sad.

I love that amc iwtv doesn’t necessarily change Armand’s backstory of being sold into slavery, but rlly hammers home in the details that he was and continued to be a slave. The racial element is just, ugh, omg, so mf good. They take Armand’s trauma in the books of being deprived of his cultural background by being sold into slavery and bought by Marius, and basically cut off from his religious beliefs and made to feel alienated from religion bcus of his sexual trauma, and by making Armand a person of color rlly elevate that in a super sad super meaningful way. I also love how they add little horrific traumas to rlly instill that Armand was a slave to Marius, that he was his property. Rlly sad!!! 😭 I love it.

the only thing that I don’t like about the changes in Armand’s backstory (which r not a lot, and r mostly based in Assad zaman’s casting whom I love as Armand, they stay surprisingly faithful to the books) Is the thing where Armand’s parents (apparently) willingly sold him into slavery. Part of the huge tragedy with Armand being sold and loosing himself to that is that his parents were not perfect, and not especially good to him, but they loved him so so much, and he looses his memory and connection to two parents who love and miss him, and are devastated by loosing him. Which even tho it’s technically a better reality for Armand then, he had parents who betrayed him, it hits sm harder imo. But, I don’t resent the writers for that bcus I have a theory that I think it’s very likely that the reality of the books is true, and Armand believes that his parents sold him bcus that was a lie Marius fed him to ease his own guilt about keeping Armand from his family so that he can sexually abuse him. If my theory is wrong, and Armand’s parents rlly did sell him, I will be disappointed and wish they stayed more faithful to the books, but I won’t be super mad cuz I love everything else they r doing so much, and it doesn’t retract from that too much.

On the subject of amc and musical Armand comparisons, I hope the show adapts/ takes inspo from a change that the musical made that I love a lot and think could rlly rlly work in the show. In the musical, during the scene where Armand throws Lestat off the tower, Lestat pushes Armand into doing this by mockingly telling him that Marius is alive and has not only chosen to not reconnect with armand bcus he’s not as important to him as Armand perceives, but also he has told Lestat how Armand was a mistake and he should have never made him bcus Marius thinks he’s crazy and beyond hope. And musical armand screams at Lestat that he’s lying, shouts HE LOVED ME!!! And pushes lestat off the tower, bcus he refuses to accept the reality of his fucked up relationship with Marius. Which, dude, I literally love that change in the musical sm and almost wish it was in the books. I sometimes forget that in the books Armand finds out Marius is alive from Lestats book offscreen and we don’t see his immediate reaction at all, just his reaction to reuniting with Marius after already processing that he’s alive. I RLLY HOPE that amc iwtv takes this change the musical made and elevates it, bcus I am the only guy who talks about it and I need everyone else to care 😭. It would translate so perfectly in the show amc pls hire me.

THWNK U SM FOR THE ASK BBY I LOVE THESE QUESTIONS I LOVE YAPPING!!! ILY

[several-ravens]

so here are my categories updated in light of the recent events aka the end of season 1 (under the cut because it's still long af and i don't want to pollute dashes):

i have been made aware (by my friend, again) that these categories are based on fears, so:

fire:

episode 8, the contractor

episode 12, gerard keay at the hospital

episode 37, guy in the forest and milk bottles

pestilence (infestation, but cooler):

jane prentiss in general (worms)

episode 36, care home (flies)

madness (hypnotic patterns and fractals):

episode 3, not!graham's table? idk

episode 8, the contractor's dad obsessed with fractals

episode 38, homophobic vase

episodes 39, not!graham's table again? idk

bonus: episode 26, michael because

web (name-dropped by martin in episode 39, formerly spiders):

episode 16, arachnophobia

episode 36, zippo with web design that jonathan received

death:

episode 7, guy who met war

episode 11, black tendrils

episode 29, guy who plays faro

darkness:

episode 9, serial killer dad (there's a weird date inconsistency in this one)

stranger:

episode 1, anglerfish

episode 8, not!graham himself?

episode 10, vampires?

episode 27, bedroom doorknob

episode 28, anglerfish part 2 (yes i recognised sarah baldwin's name from episode 1, i'm better than jonathan /j)

episode 39, not!sasha herself?

hunt (name-dropped by jonathan):

episode 10, also vampires?

episode 14, voodoo fingers old lady ("some hungers are too strong to be denied")?

episode 15, cave diving?

episode 31, werewolf

fear of heights (?) (formerly infinity):

episode 21: parachute guy

lonely (name-dropped by my friend haha):

episode 13, graveyard and fog

episode 33, ghost ship and fog

ew (flesh/bones/meat/body/blood) (also probably two categories in a trenchcoat):

episode 8, the bleeding tree

episode 10, also also vampires?

episode 14, voodoo fingers old lady

episode 17, boneturner's book

episode 18, rotting meat nailed to the floor

episode 28, anglerfish part 2 (idk she wears her own skin like a glove and that's gross)

episode 30, abattoir

eyes (not a fear, btw, so i'm gessing fear of being watched?):

episode 12, gerard keay's lighter, and also gerard keay's tattoos

episode 23, mausoleum in germany

episode 39, jonathan feeling observed

claustrophobia (?):

episode 2, casket?

episode 15, cave diving?

episodes i have no idea where to put:

episode 4, ex altiora

episode 5, trash bags (probably multiple categories depending on the trash bag)

episodes 19 & 20, priest (probably multiple categories as well, maybe a bit of madness and a bit of ew)

episode 24, red organ and puppets (i will not let my own fear of clowns and dolls bully me into making a shiny new category just for them)

episode 25, cult roommate (could be lonely, could be darkness, idk)

episode 35, corridors (all of the categories at once)

[kneelingshadowsalome]

How does Minotaur!Konig handle an argument with his wife/his wife being upset with him? He clearly avoids making her upset as much as possible because he loves her and only wants to see her happy, and she loves and accepts him as he is, quirks and all so I don't really see them getting into fights but maybe he gets way too reactive and violent with someone in town over a perceived slight and she gives him the silent treatment on the way home or something. I feel like he'd be so sad even if she only didn't talk to him for like an hour 😞 I can also see his insecurities/abandonment issues coming into play, he starts overthinking and makes it a whole big thing in his head and meanwhile she's already forgetting that she was even upset with him. These are just my thoughts but maybe you have something else in mind/see it playing out differently!

Yes absolutely!!

Minotaur!König cannot cope with this shit at all. The last time he did something “bad” ended in him being thrown into a cold, dark Labyrinth. Even as a grown man he goes straight into survival mode if he sees that he has somehow disappointed his beloved 💔

His wife knows how König is so it would take a lot for her to visibly show she’s upset with him. Our bull tries to avoid chaos as best he can which means arguments between these two are extremely rare — but they do happen! Because one thing you must know about all versions of König is that they think they’re always right. Minotaur!König is just as thick headed as the rest of them so if he thinks that “his cause is just” then he will stand his ground no matter what. He will claim that water is wine if he thinks it’s so!

Some petty perceived insult directed at his wife could get him riled very easily, could get them both into trouble because König won't cool down before he’s drawn blood. He wants to give this poor soul's head to his wife, on a plate if possible, and if he can’t do that the tension just won’t go away. How can life go on if he hasn’t done what’s right??

She has to guide König in social situations and explain later what it was all about, what different phrases mean and how he can’t just kill people if they don’t behave the way he wants them to. In some ways, she knows she is dealing with a child and has to be patient, how could this poor man know how to behave when he lived underground all those years? All he was taught was that he’s evil, unwanted and ugly, so the last thing she wants to do is hurl blame at him and scream. Silent treatment would totally be one of her ways to show him he didn’t get points home this time, but for König even the tiniest distancing looks like she’s abandoning him. Throwing him mentally into a tiny tiny Labyrinth, telling him he’s not wanted, that he’ll never be loved :(

And poor König doesn’t know what to do and how to be, for a while the anxiety threatens to take over. He reaches for her hand, then pulls away fearing she doesn’t want to be touched. He tries to talk, but nothing comes out because he doesn’t entirely understand what he should apologise for. He stands in the middle of the room and watches her blow air on the coals and just go on about her day, thinking that the time has finally come when she tells him to get out of the house.

It takes years before König takes the initiative in reconciling because he simply doesn’t know how to do it. Blunt, pained statements such as “Are you upset with me,” and “You’re disappointed in me” are common before he learns that the world is not going to end even if they’re not happy with each other all the time. His wife is usually the one who comes to him and says that everything is okay and that she was only upset with what he did, not with who he is.

Just imagine this adorable goof being both stubborn in his "I don’t have to say I’m sorry" policy and crippled by his "Are you going to abandon me" fear 💔 How can you even be angry at this man? There’s no chance, especially when he’s a jerk only once or twice a year 🩷🦬

[candycandy00]

The Doll House - A Nanami x Reader Fanfic Part 4 (Final)

Despite your crippling fear of men, your family sells you to the Doll House. Luckily, you end up with the handsome, gentlemanly Nanami as your trainer, and he’s about to show you how great a man can be.

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4

Read Geto’s Part Here!

Read Toji’s Part Here!

Read Sukuna’s Part Here!

Read Gojo’s Part Here!

Read Choso’s Part Here!

AU! Each trainer will get their own story! This is Nanami’s. If you’d like to be tagged in future parts, let me know! You must be an adult to be tagged! Any feedback whatsoever is adored! I’m keeping the same tag list as Geto’s part. If you’d like to be removed, please let me know!

Note: Consider these parts AU’s within an AU. So you might see Geto with a different doll from the reader in his part, but just consider this an alternate timeline lol.

Smut. 18+. Fem Reader. Daddy kink. Hair pulling. Fingering. Divider by @benkeibear!

“Whaaaat?!” 

Your voice comes out louder than you expected as your jaw practically hits the floor. Your aunt shows up out of nowhere, on your birthday, right after a magical date with Nanami, and tells you she’s taking you home? Why now? Scratch that, why did she sell you off in the first place?

You’ve wanted desperately to go home since the moment she dumped you out here, so this should be everything you want. But… Nanami just asked you to be his doll, for the entire ten years! Being with a man you’ve fallen in love with is something you never realized you wanted until now. 

Two things you want desperately, offered to you at the same time, but you can only choose one. 

Your heart and head are getting confused. Everything is happening too fast. 

Your aunt looks at you and smiles, as if she didn’t just abandon you. “I figured four weeks would be enough. Looks like I was right. Look at you, all dressed up, going to dinner with a man.”

“Enough for what?” you ask, feeling strangely numb. 

“Enough to fix your little man-fearing problem,” she says, giving a dismissive wave of her hand. “No niece of mine was going to stay hidden away in her room for the rest of her life, playing those silly games and reading those silly books.”

You stare at her in disbelief. “So, you sent me here to get me over my fear of men?” She nods, and suddenly you feel angry. “How could you?! Do you know how scared I was? I almost jumped out a window!”

“Now, now, don’t get snippy with me,” she says, not seeming to take your words seriously at all. “We can discuss all this privately. The owner has been kind enough to loan us one of the empty rooms for the night so we can finalize the termination of the contract. Come along.”

She walks off down the hall as if she owns the place, leaving you in stunned silence. You look over at Nanami, who has remained quiet this whole time, probably thinking it would be rude to interrupt a family discussion. 

For a brief moment, a look of hurt passes over his face, but then he smiles warmly at you and says, “You get to go home. That’s what you’ve wanted all along, right? I’m happy for you.”

“But-“

“Please forget what I said earlier. Your place is with your family. You don’t belong here, being someone else’s property. Go and live your life.”  

With that, he leans down and kisses your cheek, and then he’s gone, back to his room. You hear his door close, and it feels like he’s shut you out. 

Left alone, you feel even more overwhelmed and confused. Should you go after Nanami? You don’t even know what you want. First of all, you think you should talk to your aunt before making any serious decision. 

You walk down the familiar hallway and find only one door open. Inside, your aunt is sitting in a chair, your doll contract in her hands. She’s reading it over, probably for the tenth time. She’s always been very detail-oriented about things like this. 

When you walk in and shut the door behind you, she looks up. “Don’t worry, the fees for breaking the contract are small,” she says. “There won’t be any problems.”

You’ve read the contract already. You know the fees are most definitely not small, though maybe they are for someone like her. 

“Aunt Rina, did you really send me here just so I could get over my fear?”

She places the contract on the nearby table and crosses her legs. “Of course, honey. And it fixed you right up, didn’t it?”

“But what if I’d gotten stuck with some brute who would abuse me? How could you take that kind of risk with my safety?” you ask, struggling to keep your tone even, controlled. You’re trying to mimic Nanami. 

She scoffs. “Do you think I didn’t extensively research this place, and Nanami Kento specifically, before bringing you here?”

You blink in surprise. “Nanami? You mean you planned for him to be my trainer?”

“I most certainly did,” she replies, looking pleased with herself. “He looks just like that cartoon man you loved so much when you were younger. Prince whatshisname. And after looking into him, he turned out to be perfect. I even spoke with several dolls he’s trained, and all of them had lovely things to say about him. They said he cares about consent, that he’s a wonderful lover, and just generally a prince of a man. I knew he could fix you, so I made sure he was available before bringing you in.”

She keeps using that term. “Fixing”. To her, you’re just a project that needed repairs. You clench your fists at your sides but keep your voice at a calm level. “Aunt Rina, I know you probably meant well, in your own way, but that wasn’t your decision to make. Especially not without even discussing it with me first. Even though Nanami has been wonderful to me, those first few days were hell for me. I was so scared, and I thought I had no family to turn to, because you had abandoned me.”

For the first time, a glimmer of something like guilt flashes in Aunt Rina’s eyes. “I was only trying to help you,” she says, half guilty, half defensive. “You’re such a smart, beautiful young woman. It seemed a shame to watch you rot away.”

You walk over and place one hand on her shoulder. “I understand what you’re saying, but you still didn’t have the right to make that choice for me. And the truth is, whether I’m afraid of men or not, I’m still going to be playing my games and reading my books. Getting over my fear won’t change who I am. You keep wanting to ‘fix me’, but I don’t need to be fixed. Not in the way you mean.”

Aunt Rina opens her mouth to say something, but she stops herself. She watches as you reach down and pick up the contract, then fold it neatly. 

“What are you doing?” she asks, looking alarmed. 

You tuck the contract into your bra, having no pockets on the dress. “I’m making my own decision for once. I’m choosing how I want to live my life.”

She stands up. “As a doll?! As some man’s plaything?”

“Not ‘some man’, Aunt Rina. The man I love.”

Before she can reply, you leave the room, hoping it’s not too late to take Nanami up on his offer.

*************************

Nanami closes the book in his lap and sighs. He can’t focus on the words at all. His eyes keep drifting over to the empty chair across from him, to the book she’d just started last night, lying untouched on the table. He didn’t realize how much he would miss her comforting presence, the way her face lit up as she read. 

Should he have fought for her? Begged her to stay with him? No, that would have been unfair to her. She never wanted to be a doll in the first place, and that sort of life really didn’t suit her. She had a family and a home to return to, and he wouldn’t dream of trying to force her to give that up. He wouldn’t even ask, so as not to put her in a difficult position. 

Still… he‘ll miss her. 

A few minutes ago, he bagged up her belongings and sat them neatly in the hall. He hopes she’ll quietly take them and leave. He’s not sure he could bear seeing her again, saying goodbye to her. If he sees her face, hears her voice, he might not be able to resist asking her to stay. 

Just as he’s standing up to get ready for bed, he hears a knock at his door. He freezes in place, listening. Then, he hears her sweet voice carry through the door. 

“Nanami? Can we talk?”

He doesn’t answer. He can’t answer. He knows it’s cowardly, but he can’t face her, can’t face the coming farewell. 

“Nanami? K… Kento?”

She’s never called him by his given name before, and his heart races at the sound of it. Why does it have to sound so lovely coming from her mouth? 

There’s a pause, and then she asks, “Are you asleep?”

He doesn’t make a sound, afraid she’ll hear him and know he’s awake. So he waits, and waits, not moving, barely breathing, until it’s been so long that he’s certain she’s gone. Then he exhales a heavy breath and walks over to the door. He slowly cracks it open, and finds no one in the hall. She must have given up and gone to sleep. A tiny, selfish part of him wishes she’d still been there at his door, waiting for him. Surprisingly, her belongings are still on the floor, untouched. Did she not realize what they were?

Nanami closes the door again, locks it, then leans his back against it, eyes downcast. He can faintly smell her perfume. He was right to not open the door for her. It was taking every ounce of his strength to keep from marching straight to the room she’s sharing with her aunt and demand that she choose him. 

The snow is picking up outside. He can hear the frigid wind blowing past his window. He wonders if she’s watching the snow, and at that very moment, he realizes it’s not just the wind he hears. 

Something is banging on his window. 

He looks up in surprise, and between the heavy brown curtains he can just make out a hand pressed against the glass. 

Nanami rushes over and throws the curtains back. There, shivering at his window, red dress billowing around her in the snowy wind, is his doll. He hurriedly opens the window, ignoring the gust of snow hitting him in the face. “What are you doing?!” he yells, taking one of her arms and pulling her inside. He glances out the window behind her and sees a small end table from the welcome room. Did she really drag it outside in the cold and use it to climb up?

Her dress is damp from the snow, and beneath it, she’s wearing chunky black boots. “Are those… Choso’s boots?”

“I borrowed them,” she says, her teeth chattering. “Didn’t want to do this in heels.”

Nanami rushes to his closet and pulls out a coat, then wraps it around her shoulders. “Back to my original question,” he says, “what are you doing?”

“You wouldn’t open your door,” she tells him, seeming unusually bold. “This was my only other idea.”

He’s trying to decide how to respond to that when she reaches into the neckline of her dress and pulls out a folded piece of paper. 

“Here’s my contract,” she says, holding the paper out to him. “Take it, and make me yours!”

Nanami stares at the contract in her hand, but doesn’t take it. “I can’t. You belong with your family. I don’t want to make you-“

“You’re not making me do anything!” she says forcefully. “For the first time in my life, I’m making an important choice for myself. I’m choosing you! Please don’t cheapen that by suggesting that you’re somehow making me do this.”

Nanami looks at her face, into her eyes. He sees nothing but determination and resolve. No doubts, no fear. She’s still holding the contract out to him. His face relaxes as the tension leaves his body. “I can’t take your contract now. The Doll House owns it until your training is complete.”

She blinks and lowers her arm. “Really?”

“Yes. So hold onto it until then.”

Her eyes flick from the contract in her hands to his face. “Does that mean you’ll still keep me?”

He smiles at her. “I’d be honored to officially have you as my doll.”

She squeals in delight and throws her arms around his neck, his coat slipping off her shoulders and falling to the floor. His hands automatically move to her back, rubbing it gently through the silky material of the dress as he tilts his face down to kiss her. 

*************************

You’ve never been so happy before. You fell in love with your trainer, and the feeling is mutual. Now you get to spend the next ten years as his doll. You can’t imagine a more perfect life. 

The two of you have been wrapped in each other’s arms for nearly ten minutes straight, kissing and smiling. But you’ve noticed a few things: Nanami’s kisses are getting deeper, his hands are slowly sliding your dress up your body, and there’s a rock hard bulge in his pants. 

You raise your arms to let him pull the dress over your head, then you step out of Choso’s oversized boots, giggling at the memory of the other trainer’s confused face when you asked to borrow them. Nanami eagerly helps you out of your underwear, then unbuttons his shirt. You watch him pull the fabric off his shoulders, holding your breath without realizing it. Then he’s removing his pants, somehow looking classy even as he steps out of them one leg at a time. 

Once fully undressed, he takes your hand and leads you to the bed. He kisses you once more before taking his place on the mattress, sitting up with his back against the brass headboard. He gently tugs you into his lap, facing away from him, and then his hands are moving all over you, softly groping your thighs and breasts. You lean back against his chest, and his mouth finds your neck. You breathe out a sigh as his hand slips down between your legs, his fingers brushing over your clit. He rubs tiny circles into it until you’re moaning and shuddering in his lap, your pussy dripping wet. 

He pushes you forward until your elbows are almost touching the bed in front of you, your ass raised slightly. Then his hands are on your hips, pulling you back and onto his cock. You gasp as he enters you, this position allowing him to go especially deep. His hands on either side of you guide your movements, so that you’re thrusting back onto him, feeling him hit your sweet spot each time. 

One of his hands leaves your hip and moves up to your neck, where he rubs across your skin, gathering your hair in his fist. He pulls, forcing your back to arch and his cock to shove even deeper into you. You cry out, your body stretching to its limit in various ways. “Ahhh, s-so deep, Daddy!”

He uses your hair to turn your head, so that you’re facing him as he leans around to kiss you. “Such a good girl for me,” he says, his other hand finding your clit again. 

When the pleasure overwhelms you, you stop fucking yourself on his cock for a moment, catching your breath. He firmly tugs your hair, saying, “Don’t slow down, not until you’re full of my cum.”

Fuck, he’s hot when he’s forceful. 

“Sorry, Daddy,” you say with a shaky voice, resuming your thrusts. “It just… feels so good…”

His fingers relentlessly pleasure you as he keeps a tight grip on your hair, keeping your upper body leaning back against him. The stimulation is too much, and you quickly cum, panting and moaning, your whole body quivering. 

But you don’t stop moving, wanting to make Nanami feel as good as you do, wanting to feel his warm cum inside you. Clenching around him, you tilt your face up to kiss him again, deeply, your tongue running over his. It doesn’t take long for him to twitch inside you, and you feel him shudder as his grip on your hair tightens and his cock presses in deeper than ever. He cums into your pussy, filling you to the brim with his warmth. 

Afterward, the two of you are lying in bed, you wrapped in his arms. His hands are idly rubbing your shoulders as he kisses the top of your head. 

“I thought I’d lost you,” he says, his voice quiet. 

“Never,” you say. 

He lets out a sigh, sounding comfortable and content. “I’ve never seen a more beautiful sight than you outside my window.”

You look up at him. “Seriously? I thought I looked desperate.”

He smiles down at you. “I thought you looked like a dream, like everything I’ve ever wanted.”

You blush and bury your face in his chest. “I’ll talk to my aunt tomorrow,” you say, changing the subject. “I’m the one who signed the contract so she has no say in the matter, but I want to explain things to her anyway. She was wrong to do what she did, but she did raise me.”

“Of course,” he says. There’s a pause, then he adds, “Once your training is over, and I take possession of your contract, I’m going to rip it up.”

You sit up in alarm. “What? Why?”

“I don’t want you to be bound to me because of a legal document,” he tells you. “I want you to stay with me because you choose to. And besides… ten years isn’t nearly enough.”

You grin, snuggling back up to him. “I’ll always choose you. Ten years from now. A hundred years from now. I love you.”

End. 

Tag List:

@suguguro @kaedear @onyxsphynx @poopoobuttsy @butterskyy @collectionofdolls @akaotv @witchbybirth @bloofinntoona @wasurenagusaa @tclbts @tojirin @lucyrocks86 @badbyeyoongi @97britt @aydene @lzaj19 @lyn-lotte @missthatgirl @peachedtv @ladytamayolover @nanam1nx @deegausserr

Note for those on the tag list: I’m doing Sukuna’s part next and since it will involve some more extreme elements (s&m, erotic torture, ptsd, things like that, though everything that happens between Sukuna and Reader will be consensual), I’m not going to keep this tag list. If you’d like to be tagged in the Sukuna chapters, please tell me so! Otherwise, I’ll resume tagging you when I get to the next trainer! 

[that-trans-autistic-guy]

Even More DBD as Incorrect Quotes from a Random Generator

Charles: So like, how far do you think the distance is from that window to the ground? Edwin: Enough.

Crystal: I never said I was gonna get back together with them. But I was thinking, they're in town, would it be the worst thing in the world if I gave them a call? Jenny: No. No, Crystal, it wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world. It would be the fourth worst thing. Number one: a super volcano. Number two: an asteroid hits the Earth. Number three: All the Evel Knievel movies are lost. Number four: Person F calls Person C. Number five: Niko gets eaten by a shark. Niko: I’m Niko, and I approve the order of that list.

Charles: Some people are like slinkies. Edwin: What? Charles: Not really good for much but bring a smile to your face when you push them down the stairs. Edwin: Edwin: Please don't push the Cat King down the stairs. Charles, pushing the Cat King down the stairs: Too late.

Crystal: If I didn't know any better, I'd say you're impressed. Edwin: But you do know better.

Edwin: Ew. What kind of tea is this? Charles: I boiled gatorade.

Niko: Are you mad? Jenny: No. Niko: So sharpening your knives at 3 in the morning is just a hobby?

Charles: What the fuck is with english teachers and being like; "write a story about a deep and personal memory that impacted your life". Ma'am, if I do that you're going to send me to the counselor's office.

Crystal and Charles: Isn't it amazing how I can feel so bad and still look so good?

Charles: Name a more iconic duo than my crippling fear of abandonment and my anxiety. I’ll wait. Edwin: You and me. Charles: *tearing up* Ok.

Crystal: Hey, can I get a sip of that water? Esther: It’s not water. Crystal: Vodka! I like your sty- Esther: It’s vinegar. Crystal: …What? Esther: It's vinegar, PUSSY.

Charles: Underestimate me. That'll be fun.

Edwin: Welcome to Fucking Applebees, do you want apples or bees? Crystal: Bees? Edwin: THEY HAVE SELECTED THE BEES! Crystal: Wait- *Charles approaches, shaking a jar of bees menacingly*

Jenny: What’s something you guys are better than Edwin at? Crystal: Mario Kart. Charles: Yeah, video games. Niko: Emotional vulnerability.

Charles: So apparently the "bad vibes" I've been feeling are actually "Severe psychological distress."

Charles: You're a lying piece of shit! Crystal: Oh yeah? You're the idiot that thinks you can get away with everything you do, WELCOME TO THE REAL WORLD! Edwin: I'm leaving and I'm taking Niko with me! Jenny, gathering cards: Aaaaand that's enough Monopoly for today.

Charles: If you were to have sex with any insect scaled up to human size, what would it be? Jenny: What the hell is wrong with you?

Charles, about Edwin: I would never say that my partner is a bitch and I don’t don’t like them. That’s not true… My partner is a bitch and I like them so much!

Esther: *writing a letter* Esther: Dear Santa, I'm writing to let you know I've been naughty... And it was worth it you fat, judgemental bastard.

Charles: How do those little boys on XBOX parties always know what slur to call you? Crystal: They're empaths.

Charles: Mama. Just killed a man. Charles: Put a gun against his head, pulled my trigger now he's dead. Charles: MAMAAAAAAAA OOOOOOOOOOOOOOO Edwin: What?! Let me hide the body, where is it? Is there anyone around that can hear us? Edwin: ...Are those song lyrics? Charles: Those are song lyrics.

Crystal: What’s the straightest thing you’ve ever done? Edwin: *sighs* Edwin: I killed a man.

Edwin: Unfortunately, due to several experiences in my youth, I cannot just 'walk up and join a circle of people talking', but it does sound lovely, thank you.

Edwin: What's this? Charles, hugging Edwin: Affection! Edwin: Disgusting. Edwin: ...Do it again.

Edwin: If you've ever had a crush on me, god bless your poor, misguided heart.

Crystal: I'm gonna need a human skull but you can't ask why. Edwin: Only if you also don't ask why. Edwin: *pulls four pristine human skulls out of their bag* Crystal: ... Crystal, grabbing a skull: This one will do.

Niko: Source? Crystal: Divine intuition.

Crystal: Made you all playlists! Crystal: Jenny, yours has only heavy metal, and is dark like your soul. Crystal: Edwin, yours has sad songs and blues to pair with your crippling depression. Crystal: And Niko has the ABBA Gold album.

Charles, to Niko: You know, the Cat King can be really aggressive, so it's important to take all the necessary precautions when approaching. Charles: *blows airhorn at the Cat King* GET FUCKED!

Niko: Croissants: dropped Charles: Road: works ahead Crystal: BBQ sauce: on my titties Monty: Shavacado: fre Jenny: Miss Keisha: fuckin dead Edwin: Edwin: ...I didn’t understand a single word of that and I hate every single one of you.

[salty-lemon-shark-from-the-sea]

Maya and the Three + (Reader) Incorrect quotes (Part 2)

Chimi: Ugh, crushes are so dumb.

Rico: I know. Whenever I’m near the person I like I just start acting stupid.

Chimi: But you’re always acting stupid?

Rico: …

Rico: Yeah, don’t think about that too hard.

●◦●◦●◦●◦●◦●◦●◦●◦●

Chivo: Pick a card, any card.

Bone: Fine.

Chivo: Wait, that’s my credit card!

Skull: You said any card.

●◦●◦●◦●◦●◦●◦●◦●◦●

Xtabay: I scare people a lot because I walk very softly and they don’t hear me enter rooms. So when they turn around, I’m just kind of there and their fear fuels me.

●◦●◦●◦●◦●◦●◦●◦●◦●

Chimi: Everyone knows that Santa is an international designed by the big five corporations to sell tinsel and video games to an unsuspecting public.

(Reader): The whole “childhood wonder” stage just blew right past you, didn’t it?

●◦●◦●◦●◦●◦●◦●◦●◦●

Rico: Why is Picchu crying?

Chimi: They saw a leaf on the sidewalk and-

Picchu: IT LOOKED SO CRUNCHY!

Rico: Please don’t say what I think you’re gonna say-

Picchu: AND WHEN I STEPPED ON IT THERE WAS NO CRUNCH!

Rico: NO, NOT THAT!

●◦●◦●◦●◦●◦●◦●◦●◦●

Camazotz: Wow you and Cabrakan are home early from the movies. What happened?

Cipactli: We got kicked out because Cabrakan wouldn’t stop yelling diving scores as people jumped off the titanic.

Cabrakan: That last guy had a solid 8, I’m telling you!

●◦●◦●◦●◦●◦●◦●◦●◦●

Maya: I regret nothing!!!

Zatz: I regret everything!!!

●◦●◦●◦●◦●◦●◦●◦●◦●

Zatz: Name a more iconic duo than my crippling fear of abandonment and my anxiety. I’ll wait.

(Reader): You and me!

Zatz: *tearing up* Ok.

●◦●◦●◦●◦●◦●◦●◦●◦●

Queen Teca: So, what’s for dinner?

King Teca, staring at the food they burnt: Regret.

●◦●◦●◦●◦●◦●◦●◦●◦●

Vucub: Being half asleep and feeling someone gently plant a kiss on your forehead is one of the purest kinds of love in the world.

Chivo: Unless you’re home alone.

●◦●◦●◦●◦●◦●◦●◦●◦●

Chimi: This date is boring!

(Reader) This isn’t a date. I said I was going to the store.

Chimi: Then why did you invite me?

(Reader): I didn’t, I specifically said “don’t come with me,” then you said, “fuck you (Reader) I’ll do whatever I want!”

●◦●◦●◦●◦●◦●◦●◦●◦●

Rico: *very seriously* You need to stop doing weird things to cope with the stress. Going outside might help.

Chimi: I went to the park today.

Rico: There you go! I hope you got something from that.

Chimi: *opening their coat* This duck.

●◦●◦●◦●◦●◦●◦●◦●◦●

Acat: Zatz is playing hard to get.

Acat: Little do they know, I’m a master at playing hard to get rid of.

●◦●◦●◦●◦●◦●◦●◦●◦●

Lord Mictlan: What are you doing tomorrow?

Any god/goddess: Having my day ruined by whatever you’re about to ask me to do.

●◦●◦●◦●◦●◦●◦●◦●◦●

Lady Micte: If I ever had a child, I image they would be a lot like you.

Lord Mictlan: Aww, thanks—

Lady Micte: Which is probably why I’ve never reproduced.

●◦●◦●◦●◦●◦●◦●◦●◦●

(Reader): Did you get the eggs like I asked?

Maya: Even better!

(Reader): What the fuck did you—

Maya: *holding up a chicken* Her name is Fluffy.

●◦●◦●◦●◦●◦●◦●◦●◦●

Lord Mictlan: What have I done wrong?!

(Reader): Everything. For your entire life.

●◦●◦●◦●◦●◦●◦●◦●◦●

(Reader): Chivo… Why did you draw a pentagram on the floor?

Chivo: Your text told me to satanize the house before you returned.

(Reader):

(Reader): I wrote sanitize Chivo.

●◦●◦●◦●◦●◦●◦●◦●◦●

Rico: (Reader) that's disgusting. You’re only giving free stuff to beautiful people.

Chimi: Yeah, you should be ashamed of yourself.

(Reader): Oh yeah? *gets really close to Chimi* How about a muffin on the house baby?

Chimi, giggling: I’m pretty.

●◦●◦●◦●◦●◦●◦●◦●◦●

Acat: Please! Pretend I’m useful!

●◦●◦●◦●◦●◦●◦●◦●◦●

Camazotz: Oh Zatz, we have a visitor!

Zatz: Don’t tell me it’s (Reader).

Camazotz: It’s (Reader).

●◦●◦●◦●◦●◦●◦●◦●◦●

Zatz: There’s no way they like me back.

(Reader): Maya would throw herself in front of a moving car for you.

Zatz: Maya would throw herself in front of a moving car for fun.

●◦●◦●◦●◦●◦●◦●◦●◦●

(Reader): I have so much energy, I want to run a marathon or commit a crime… which should I do?

Barbarian Princess: Please don’t get arrested.

(Reader): No promises! <3

Barbarian King: Why not both? Get creative!

(Reader): Wonderful suggestion, thank you.

Barbarian Princess: Please don’t encourage them, Papa.

●◦●◦●◦●◦●◦●◦●◦●◦●

Lord Mictlan: Love is weakness and an evolutionary mistake.

Camazotz: You are literally making a Valentine’s Day card for Lady Micte.

Lord Mictlan, pointing their hot glue gun towards Camazotz: You’re on thin fucking ice.

●◦●◦●◦●◦●◦●◦●◦●◦●

King Teca: Don’t mansplain this to me!

Queen Teca: Wh- I’m a woman! I can’t mansplain anything to you!

King Teca: … Well, I’m a feminist, and I believe a woman can do anything a man does!

●◦●◦●◦●◦●◦●◦●◦●◦●

Skull, at (Reader): Would you like to stay for dinner?

Bone, from the kitchen: Would you like to stay forever!?!

●◦●◦●◦●◦●◦●◦●◦●◦●

*Acat is telling a story*

Hura: Wow, Acat, this story has everything! Action! Adventure! Romance!

Can: *grunting* Romance?

Hura: I have a crush on them.

●◦●◦●◦●◦●◦●◦●◦●◦●

Xtabay: How do I make a date really romantic?

Vucub: Be mysterious.

Xtabay: Okay.

*Later, while on a date with (Reader)

(Reader): So where are we going?

Xtabay: None of your fucking business.

[hanayori89]

Worth Fighting For

*Ordon Village*

The atmosphere in Ordon was dense with the suspense of danger. The bitter, howling wind only helped to promote the unease in the environment. Link took a minute to recuperate, not a moment longer. If he must fight the fused shadow within Ilia, his only chance would be with the Master Sword.

That is, if it would still choose him as its master.

Link had to get to Zelda promptly. There was no telling where Ilia was lurking. Dread trickled down Link's spine as he thought of Y/N and the shadow's harrowing warning. 

As Link made his way towards Fado's ranch, he constantly found that his gaze was scattered about his surroundings. The paranoia he felt was almost as crippling as being in the presence of the shadow itself.

He approached Epona, who was peacefully tucked inside her stall. "Hey girl, I know it's late. But we have some work cut out for us. Are you ready?" Link stroked Epona's mane in that familiar way he knew always pleased her. She huffed in response. In horse lingo, this was considered a response of reluctance. The equivalent of the human response: "Oh, alright."

He gave her a few more pats of appreciation until he noticed something streak across her eyes, startling her. Without hesitation, Link pulled his sword from its sheath, swirling around and aiming his blade at Fado's throat.

He lifted his hands in surrender. "Goddesses Link!" Fado exclaimed, visibly petrified.

"Fado!" Link growled, lowering his sword. "For the love of Hylia, why are you up at this hour?"

Fado's face remained frozen in its molded expression of terror. "I couldn't sleep. I'm actually happy to see you. I haven't seen you much, what with helping Zelda and all."

He leaned closer to Link; his voice was muffled by stutters of fear. "I-I've been wanting to talk to you, L-Link. Um." Link watched as Fado's Adam's apple danced up and down his throat. It was apparent he was reluctant to say whatever was on his mind.

"Fado," Link toned down his defensiveness. "Speak whatever it is you wish to speak."

"R-right. " He rubbed his temples in exasperation. The speed at which he rubbed accelerated as he spoke. "I saw Ilia jump from your window. I saw her... bend into a creature." His gaze flickered frantically around the stable. "She ran away. Well, she didn't run. She hobbled. Goddesses, Link, I've never seen a human body contort into such a shape. On all fours, she hobbled, Link." He shivered at the ghastly image of Ilia that Link himself had just come face-to-face with.

"Did you see which direction she went?" Link thought the question silly as soon as it left his mouth. As if it weren't headed towards Y/N or Zelda. And he knew it was Zelda he must go to, not Y/N.

The shadow had to be obeyed. At least for now.

But what if he couldn't save Y/N in time? Link looked down at the unresponsive Triforce on his hand. He could feel rage tapping on the door of his heart, asking to be let into its chambers.

Why had Hylia forsaken him?

Abandon me if you must, but please, please, I beg that you protect Y/N. Do not let her meet such wickedness. She doesn't deserve it. Just like she doesn't deserve me. The failure of a hero she thinks so highly of.

He clamped his eyes shut to block the tears threatening to descend upon them.

"Link?" Fado questioned. "Did you hear me? It isn't my place, but what is going on? Things have been strange since that day. When Y/N fainted, she disappeared in front of me. No one else saw." He hesitated at his next question. "She's not one of us, is she? She's not of this world."

Link sighed. He didn't have time to explain everything to Fado. He also felt guilty on behalf of his friend's apparent disappointment. He did have a crush on Y/N. Fado wasn't even aware of Link's feelings. Would it hurt him? How many more people could he possibly hurt?

"Yes. She is a Twili." Link admitted. "Ilia is possessed by a shadow of that realm. The shadow within Ilia means Y/N harm. So, I must save them. Both.”

He put a hand on his trusting friend's shoulder. "I don't think Ilia will come back to the village. But in any case, can I count on you to watch over the kids and everyone else?"

Fado puffed his chest out, giving Link a brazen nod of his head. "Only if I can count on you to watch out for my girl. "

"Or should I say, your girl?" He smirked, jabbing him in the gut where the shadow had stepped on him. Link turned his head, hiding the grimace of pain that came over him. His face burned at the words "your girl."

"What do you-"

Fado held up a hand, silencing Link in place. "We always knew it. It's ok. As long as you're doing the right thing, I don't object. You deserve happiness. But if you ever hurt your girl, then I will gladly swoop in and make her my girl." He threw a cheeky wink his way.

"I love her, Fado." Link pounded a fist against his chest. As if he were a proud ape, demonstrating she was his territory.

He thought of the letter he wrote Y/N. At the end of it, he told her he couldn't wait until this was all over. For when it was, the words that were scribbled in secret on paper could be shouted from the treetops of Ordon.

He loved Y/N.

Sure, he fought to save Hyrule. But for the first time, he was fighting for something personal.

Something that belonged to him and only him.

He had served his time fighting for everyone else.

For the first time, he was fighting for himself.

***Castle Town***

You sat on your bed, admiring your dress from Link that was hung across the room. The bar had long closed and the party had ended, but you were very much awake.

You stared at that dress as a reflection of everything it represented. Telma had learned to surpass her fears and now look. She would reap the reward of marrying her true love.

I must go to Link.

You were grateful for the few pints of mead you consumed, because now liquid courage was coursing through your veins. You stood, ready to take action.

I want to know once and for all: does he love me or not? If he doesn't, then I can walk away with gratitude in my heart, for he's shown me something priceless.

That'll have to be enough. You nodded, satisfied with your motivation to get dressed and begin to scope out your next destination.

The Temple of Time.

But first, I will follow the advice of the sages. I will seek out Zelda and that 'achoo,' 'ocho,' or whatever they mentioned. I must work on my conversion. So that I can destroy this shadow inside of me. That way, Link will be safe.

Besides, Midna's tear told me there was danger. I don't know how long I should stay away from Link, but it said nothing about discontinuing my journey. I will move forward, and then once this shadow within me has perished, I will tell Link.

I love him.

Even if he does not love me in return.

Because I love him, my only wish is for his happiness. No matter with whom that may be.

You decided as you slipped on your dress that it didn't just take valor to be the wielder of the Triforce of Courage.

It took just as much courage to love the wielder himself.

Edited: 6/21/24

Link has set off to meet Princess Zelda, unbeknownst to you, who has also set off towards the Temple of Time. Though it seems both of your paths are destined to cross once more, for different reasons.

One of you is fighting for your love, while the other will end up fighting against it.

Trials, tribulations, and the truth lie ahead.

Check out my other completed OOT Zelda work- No Woman Beyond

[totally-not-here-for-the-smut]

SO this bad post went out on its own (not: it's my falut, I'm a dork) without a text! Apologize. Let's proceed!

Sooo apparently the handling trauma was much appreciated! I was seriously afraid to be tumblrstoned for talking about such a delicate stuff. BUT since people here love reading about people's trauma (u lovely sikos) let's go ahead with...

Handling Trauma

~asra

[tw: weals, manhandling, low-key domination, also abandonment trauma]

Asra is charming, confident, and a master magician. He has seen the worlds and always carries wonderful trinkets in his pockets; dances and sings, and when he's around everything seems to glitter and shine.

That's why is so easy to forget how actually broken he is - the mere fact that he doesn't takes it out on the people around him like Lucio does doesn't mean he's ok - on the contrary, this only makes it worse.

He was a kid when his parents didn't came back home. Do you really believe that Lucio or his courtiers bothered to tell him? He didn't become an orphan in the spur of a fleeting moment - it was a slow, scary, crippling realization. Day after day he waited, he asked, he searched. Night after night he cried, he called, he begged - until he surrendered to the looming silence haunting his parents' bedroom.

He was found by you and your aunt, but by that time he was almost a young man already. So came the days when he looked up to you and slowly fell in love. He longed for your touch when he could see you, and waited to see you every time you were away.

He had found a new family, and soon he won your love.

And then, shortly after, the plague took everything from him - his family, his master, his love, his friends. His serenity, and his happiness.

He loved you, and he lost you. He broke the most sacred law of life to have you back, and spent three long years caring for you, weaving a spiderweb of lies to secure your safety.

It's so easy to forget how desperately afraid of loss Asra is, but thinking about it makes it crystal clear. And there's no way to forget it in your moments together, for when he's the most vulnerable, it shows.

Asra's eyes are hungry for your image. You've never seen him closing his eyes when you're together, as if you could disappear if he close his eyes. There's always a purple glimpse gazing behind his white lashes.

He gifted you a silk sleeping mask, embroidered with moon and stars, because there's always a candle, a lantern, a bonfire next to you when you sleep together. The candle went out on a moonless night, once. You woke in pain, Asra's arms clenching compulsively your body, as he gasped for air through the tears. You had to conjure a magic light on your fingertips, as if he'd forgot he was a magician as well, and spent the night kissing his face, caressing his shivering chest until dawn. Only then he managed to explain.

"I felt the darkness swallowing you".

The following night, yow went to Muriel's and came home with a mossy trunk covered in fairy helmets.

A bunch of glowing mushrooms is cute and helpful indeed, but is far from being a real solution. Asra keeps disappearing for days when he feels vulnerable, just to come back more frantic and confused than before. You can feel the grasp fear has on his soul in the way he holds your wrists tight as you're making love, you can hear it in his words as he asks you with the softest voice if you do still love him, begging you to never leave.

The awareness of his fears follows you even when you're not with him, written in the weals on your skin -on your wrists and hips. When he saw it one morning he begged you to let him erase them with magic. You refused though - you're adamant this is something to be faced.

Each time he's afraid he's all over you, needy for the feeling of your bodies fuse together, for your abandonment in his arms. He's passionate and eager for your delight - each night he wants to hear you screaming his name -again and again, and then tenderly hold your body worn out by the shivers all through the night.

As you indulge his needs when the sun goes down, you become kind but firm when it rises. He when all is said and done, you know you can't do this alone. It's a long way to make Asra feel safe and loved again, and it starts from his friends knowing how much he truly needs their love.

Disclaimer: as usual, this is PURELY FICTIONAL. I'm not a therapist, and this aren't suggestions about how to handle this sort of problems. Irl intimacy problems are shitty and actually really boring. That's why no one writes about it! Oh, and the fairy helmets technically glow, but it's almost invisible to the human's eye. Sry.

[tatiejosie]

Bella/Mandrake trauma processing comic

That one's a little older than most of my projects, but it was my first time approaching the sore, complicated topic of Earwig's disband! I have straight-up nothing sketched out for this one.

After a movie night, Bella wakes up on the sofa, stuck right between a still-sleeping Earwig and Mandrake. As they find themselves adjusting to this newfound family life, they reflect on the evolution of their relationship across the years.

CW: very tuned-out, implied nsfw content.

Bella wants to stretch, but she’s tangled with Mandrake, Earwig, and the cat - ultimately, she decides that it’s just not worth it to disturb them. She pauses awkwardly, not knowing what to say, and looks up at Mandrake.

B Seems like we didn’t make it through the whole movie last night, eh…? M I did. You didn’t miss a lot. B … Oh. Well, little miss girlie here will probably want to catch up on the rest of the movie anyway… M But she stayed until the end. You’re the first one who fell asleep.

Bella is dumbfounded.

B Huh…? B-but… … Wait, what are we doing here then? You two didn’t bother to wake me up at the end?!

Mandrake observes Earwig quietly.

M I think… Dearwig just liked it here. She preferred to stay on the couch for the night because she had the occasion to sleep with us.

Bella is visibly flustered, fumbling for words.

B …O-oh, um… M I believe her… when she claims that she loves me. Are you still struggling to see that this girl loves you too?

------

M were you seriously considering that I didn’t… love you anymore?

Bella scoffs. She’s searching for her words. She doesn’t want to hurt Mandrake, but she’s struggling to translate her feelings into tactful sentences.

M You can be honest with me. (you have to.)

Bella loses patience and promptly abandons the diplomatic route.

B … It’s not like you were prone to show it in the first place. Y’know, even before- before all that…

Bella stiffens a little when she mentions the “before” part. She ditches her sentence.

B [sighs] I’m not resentful of you for that, I promise.

Mandrake stays quiet, expressionless as usual.

B For what it’s worth, it’s probably my fault.

------

She thought about the miserable decade that they spent under the same roof, going through some sort of growing, excruciating estrangement. It was almost like a punishment for what happened in the past. Some sort of constant reminder that she might have screwed up. It kind of reinforced this feeling, in a way. She was distanced and isolated and miserable… and at her lowest point, she was even convinced that she deserved it. At best, she felt an abstract sense of freedom, safely out of his aim/sight as she obeyed him and maintained everything in order for him to be satisfied. At worst, she felt shackled with fear. The crippling fear that he could let go of her at any moment, for any reason. The gut-wrenching feeling of being scrutinised every minute of the day. How much it could hurt when he broke into another scorching meltdown.

----

They still shared some things, after all. A roof, a few carefully timed moments embedded by his routine, meals of his choice. An occasional touch. Touch that sometimes delved into more than just touch, initiated by nothing else than serendipity. Still under the strict, implicit rule that nothing other than primal responses were allowed. No words, no discussion. They ride out each other’s climax, they let go of each other, then they part ways and pretend that nothing happened.And Bella would hang on to these few shared moments as if her life depended on it.

—-

Bella is startled.

B … m… me?

Mandrake considers his words.

M Since we broke off the band…

Bella holds her breath. It might be too much.

M I know you were hurt. And I know you’re still hurting.

Bella shuts her eyes.

M Yet, you kept moving on. That… I just couldn’t do. I was so distraught, I think I’ve lost myself. And I was most definitely drifting away, but… your presence kept me anchored in reality. I think, In the end… I had you to look out for. But I just wasn’t ready… or brave enough… to come back to you.

Mandrake pauses for a bit. He sighs.

M I’m… still wondering why you kept holding on to m-

B Why would I ever want to let you go?!

[vivian-shiftss]

part 13 of incorrect quotes in my lockwood and co dr!! yay

kipps: when I first met you, I did not like you

anthony: I'm aware of that

kipps: but then you and I had some time together

anthony: uh-huh?

kipps: it did not get better

anthony, being robbed: please! have mercy! I have a family! a wife and kids… a dog…

george: literally none of that is true, lockwood

anthony: okay, but I’m sexy! that’s gotta count for something, right?

anthony: I'm gonna nickname my child "Lil Bitch"

vivian: I see you're passing on your name

vivian: lucy and I were crossing the street, and this man drove by and honked at us

george: what did you do?

vivian: she chased him to the next red light, and reached into his window, and-

lucy: *walking in* who wants a steering wheel?

george: I swear to god I'm the only one here with a braincell

anthony, lucy, and vivian: ALL HAIL the keeper of the sacred braincell!

george: I love being right. it’s one of my favorite personality traits

george: lockwood has no survival skills, his need to win has replaced him

victor: that can't be true!

george: watch this

george: hey lockwood, race you to the bottom of the stairs!

anthony: *throws himself out a window*

vivian, T-posing in the doorway: greetings, george

george, not looking up from their coffee: good morning, problem child

*in the chip aisle at tesco, doing a late-night grocery run.*

lucy: *minding her own business, looking for tortilla chips*

lucy: *finds tortilla chips*

george, to anthony: see, she knows what she's here for. she knows what she's doing. be more like her. make a decision, lockwood!

anthony: if I die first, promise to wait up for me, okay, lucy?

lucy: oh, lockwood. when I die, I’m taking you with me

anthony: I can’t tell if that’s a threat or a compliment

lucy: I’d think of it more as a grim inevitability

victor: so, lucy, do you have a crush on anyone?

lucy: the only crush I have is this crushing anxiety

anthony, peeling a banana: may I take your jacket, sir? hahahaha.

lucy: do you think other people can’t hear you?

victor: vivian has discovered "deez nuts" jokes and it's all she says now. everything is deez nuts. she simply can't stop.

victor: I asked vivian where she learned that joke. she made me promise she wouldn't get in trouble if she told me. I agreed

victor: so she leans in and whispers, "deez nuts."

vivian: name a more iconic duo than my crippling fear of abandonment and my anxiety. I’ll wait

flo: you and me!

vivian: *tearing up* ok

*i love her my bestie

anthony: there are some things beyond our understanding. we must accept them and learn from them. because these moments of crisis are also potential moments of faith. a time, when we either come together or fall apart. nature always has a way of balancing itself. the only question is, what part will we play?

george: did you just make that up?

anthony: no. I read it in a fortune cookie once

george:

anthony: a really long fortune cookie

george: *makes anthony a cup of tea but puts salt in it*

anthony: *sips tea*

george:

anthony: *finishes tea*

george: didn't it taste bad?

anthony: yeah, but I didn't want to hurt your feelings so I drank it all

george, tearing up: oh, okay

vivian: I only have two emotions: exhaustion and stress. and I’m somehow always feeling both simultaneously

anthony: I was born for politics. I have great hair and I love lying

anthony: come on, you need to go to bed

millie: mr. snuffles says that I can stay up as long as I want. and that you need to die!

anthony: …

anthony: what the hell, mr. snuffles—

anthony: hey, wanna help me commit arson?

lucy: what the hell!?

anthony: oh, sorry, my bad

anthony, whispering: wanna help me commit arson?

lucy, whispering: of course. What do you need?

george: you have to apologize to them lucy

lucy: fine! but I must warn you that this might make me a better, nicer person and that is NOT the person you fell in love with!

barnes: where’s mr. karim?

bobby: doing stuff

barnes: I don’t like the sound of that. where’s ms. goodwin?

bobby: trying to stop george from doing the stuff

barnes: and ms. winters?

bobby: trying to stop kat from stopping george from doing the stuff

barnes: I see. and what are you doing here, mr. vernon?

bobby: I’m supposed to stop you from stopping vivian from stopping kat from stopping george from doing the stuff

lucy: how do you want your coffee?

anthony: black, like my soul

lucy:

lucy: lockwood, your soul is a latte

lucy: where’s viv?

george: around

lucy: around?

lucy: you don’t have any idea, do you?

vivian, dropping down from above: did you know there’s a space above the ceiling?

george: I can't imagine what lockwood is planning. but I can tell you two things. we won't like it and it won't be legal

[loststarphounix]

Soudam Week 2023 Day 1: Fear

A/N: I’m back on my Soudam nonsense. I’m gonna try to do all seven days, but if I can do at least 3-4 days I’ll be happy lol

But on to the fic! I’m so happy Soudam Week is still a thing

I did a random wheel generator to pick the prompts, so lets see how I tackle them all ^.^

Day 1: Fear

Fear is something one develops a dependency for. It’s not healthy or even effective, but make someone experience it on a daily basis and one learns to accept and even learn to embrace its claws gripping their throat and heart.

That’s what Kazuichi did. He was very aquatinted with fear. It followed him almost his entire life, it was basically an old friend now, with new names like ‘anxiety’ and ‘depression’ and ‘desperation to be accepted and loved’.

He couldn’t be himself, not without the consequences that the fear warned him about - would whisper and hiss until it finally wore him down. After all, it wasn’t like there wasn’t merit to its cruelty.

It was the reason why his mom left; why he made the mistake of making “friends” with people who only used him as a joke or their own gain. And why his father still influenced his actions, even miles apart with the only way of communication is a phone and even then he doesn’t call him except when he’s really drunk and wanted his punching bag back.

So Kazuichi continued to lived in that crippling fear - to act and strut in the way his father demanded he do because obviously that’s how the world wanted, wasn’t it? That’s how the world wanted him to be.

But then he met Gundham, who was everything Kazuichi was told to hate and saw him thrive. He flourished and was happy, while Kazuichi shivered and died slowly from the cloying sense of dread that refused to leave him. At first, he hated him for being able to live without the fear he couldn’t seem to shake. 

How could that goth weirdo be so happy and proud while being an outcast? How wasn’t he afraid to be left out?

But Kazuichi was being left out and he couldn’t help taunting the other, who saw it as some kind of game? The dick wouldn’t take him seriously!

He let fear and people dictate what he should be and somehow it wasn’t enough. Fear kept bringing him down and making his life miserable. It wasn’t fair! Why can’t he be like Gundham, who flaunted his differences and enjoyed taunting others who tried to bring him down? It didn’t make sense!

That’s how it begin, their petty fighting. They would snipe and argue on a daily basis, that it had begun to cause trouble for their classmates and friends outside it as well. It had caused problems, but Kazuichi found himself not caring. After all, the anger was at the moment a more powerful force than the fear, and it always came out around Gundham.

But the funny thing about the anger, was that it didn’t feel like anger. It felt more like…frustration? Attention seeking? All that mattered was that Gundham was the source, the cause and he accepted Kazuichi’s ire as readily as he.

So the fear was replaced by anger, which morphed into grumbling acceptance and soon it became something softer, more friendlier. They went from “enemies” to grudging acquaintances, to now fast friends. Kazuichi sometimes thinks about more - because he’s selfish like that. He can’t have something good and resist the desire the more. 

The familiar sensations of fear tightens it’s grip and forces the words to be stuck in his throat. It makes it impossible to ever brooch the subject. He wants more -craves it, with an intensity that only existed when he was young and lived in a home that smelled like beer and motor oil - but his old comfort holds him back. It keeps him from expressing it, for the possibility of abandonment and resentment is so strong and it hurts. And maybe that’s what Gundham senses when, one day, as they hang out after class and safely away from prying eyes, the other asks him:

“Why do you fear?”

And Kazuichi, surprised and genuinely confused, just blurted out the first thing on his head.

“Because that’s all I know.”

And he watched the other’s face shift, his mismatched eyes soften with something that made his heart face and a blush warm his neck.

“Impossible. You are not just simply a creature ruled by fear - but by loyalty and warmth and,” Gundham looks away and it was hard not to notice the rosey hue his pale skin develops as he tries to hide in his scarf. “A-and love. I find it vexing that you do not see what is clearly there.”

And maybe it was a combination of those inpassioned words, the earnest yet shy look the taller teen gave him, or his own intense emotions at hearing them, but Kazuichi didn’t let his nerve shake him as he reached across the space between them. His lips fumbled and grazed the shockingly smooth and cool skin along a high cheekbone, before he scrambled away.

The look of utter surprise-  and maybe hope? - made Gundham look almost ridiculous as the lower half of his face was still buried in his scarf, but it was too endearing to be so.

And for once, the claws pulled back from his neck and chest, leaving behind butterflies that made his heart soar and his stomach tighten in elation.

Maybe fear could bring good things sometimes.

[lightlycareless]

CHAPTER 34 HAS ME RUNNING IN CIRCLES CLAWING AT THE WALLS LOSING MY MIND,,, HELLO?? HELLO??? naoya just absolutely losing his mind writhing in emotional pain,, incredible stuff i agree w the staff. it is exactly like a car crash and i can not take my eyes away. hes so cringefail mariya. girlbossing standing in between the two of them... very strong of her. i talk a lot of shit abt naoya but i hate conflict and i'd probably start shaking and crying if i had to deal with him so mariya being able to just put herself right in the middle of all that and act totally normal about it is VERY impressive. props to y/n too for acting so normally too-- either that or naoyas just extremely oblivious to body language and emotional cues and doesn't notice them freaking the fuck out. 50/50

naoya detective arc,,,, it would be charming of him if he weren't so deranged. in fact its KINDA terrifying how incredibly focused and driven he was to figure everything out no matter how far back he had to trace it. like-- it'd be INSANELY hard to hide anything from him unless absolutely everyone involved in it was able to be IN on it and know how to keep up a lie to him. kinda fucked!

tho on the detective arc part-- it makes perfect sense for HIS deranged ass to immediately jump to the worst conclusion that y/n lied to him, despite the fact i imagine its still possible the package could've been stolen from inside the estate by one of the staff? as in, the worker got the wolf stamp, but it could've been jumbled up or stolen after entering the estate. not like he's thinking that far ahead tho,,,

FINALLY he sees her w naoaki and we get a whole-ass confrontation-- im going NUTS here this was SO intense. naoya's arc here plays on one of my FAVORITE villain tropes, the 'villain who genuinely doesn't realize he's done anything wrong'. those are always so good but rarely do we get the moments of said villain realizing how badly he's fucked up im SO excited for how this is going

the way naoya is genuinely sure he's not done anything wrong and doesn't realize how badly he's hurt her vs. naoaki thinking he's just pretending to be oblivious to get out of consequences- DELICIOUS STUFF. naoaki pulling the "because you *love* her?" in whats probably intended to be a mocking way and then realizing "oh shit. he does actually. oh this is a fucking mess isn't it" and feeling kind of guilty about it... is it weird i want them to make up at some point too in all of this? god knows naoya needs some fucking friends (besides ranta)

"Naoya doesn't... *can't* care for me... because he doesn't care for anyone but himself." Y/N WITH THE STEEL CHAIR,, FROM THE TOP ROPE,, might as well have just shot him. definitely did the equivalent of knocking him unconscious considering he apparently doesn't remember anything that happened afterwards. i like to imagine he just dropped unconscious right on the spot and they just left him there.

the dream sequence part KILLED me i genuinely believed up until maybe midway through this was real. ALSO HE CALLED HIM BROTHER,,, my onii-san joke rings true,, at the funniest possible fucking time,, wish he'd say it outside of a dream,, the y/n sneering at naoya and laughing at him was i think what gave it away-- i was willing to believe her and naoki went off to finally fuck after all that but sry y/n i do NOT believe you're willing to make fun of him that hard to his face yet. yet. i think you should though some time

but fr this WHOLEE dream sequence is soo important to his character its so good at illustrating the fear of failure and rejection and abandonment-- they're SO crippling for him to such a degree he ends up making it worse on himself and making this fucked up self-fulfilling cycle houghhh its so much,,

naoaki getting woken up in the middle of the night to naoya slamming into his room demanding to know where y/n is-- i NEED to know what he thought in that moment he mustve thought naoya's gone fucking insane esp when he just LEAVES right after without explaining anything

and then y/n probably thought she was gonna fucking die when he just showed up out of nowhere. actual jumpscare moment. also her being intrigued by just how disheveled and awful he looks? me too.

WHAT WAS HE GONNA TELL HER. IM WAILING AND CRYING DID HE EVEN HAVE ANYTHING HE WANTED TO SAY OR WAS HE JUST DESPERATELY TRYING TO GET HER TO STAY,, AUGH,, depending how loudly he collapsed to the floor and loud his crying was i wonder if y/n were able to hear him?? i think she should definitely see him crying at least once-- i wonder how she (or naoaki) would even handle him just breaking down into tears,,

ohmygod i wrote. a lot here. anyways. 20/10 chapter. im chewing on him. tysm for these incredible developments im foaming at the mouth to see whats next

Hello!!!!!

YEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSS JUST EXACTLY WHAT I WANTED HAHAHAHAH I THRIVE IN OTHER'S ANGUISH.... lol.

Ahem, anyways... 🤭 I'm glad you liked this chapter!!! This has to be up there, in my top 10 moments of the story (we still have others though... but yeah, still up there) and the one I was dying to write for the longest. I don't know if it was enough "punishment" for Naoya, but it's good to see him be reminded of his stupidity :)

His downfall is something that I think many were expecting tbh, or at least see him get kicked down a notch lol He was out there thinking himself to be the king of the hill for far too long, someone had to remind him he’s not that special 😂

I’m pretty sure the staff’s perception of Y/N changed drastically once again, into a more positive I mean. They’re out there admiring how she was able to do what many couldn’t and can’t help but wonder if she has the potential to ruin the Zen’in if she wanted to—of course, that stops when Naobito is added into the equation, but they still like to daydream about it haha.

Mariya is a character I would consider 100% fed up with Naoya’s (or just about anyone from the clan) shenanigans, so that makes it easier for her to stand up to him, although I’m sure she’s still intimidated by him. Thankfully her extensive knowledge of how everything works around the estate helps her out in these situations, it’s kind of like a… “gray area” for her to exploit—something she can use if she ever gets in trouble with Junko or Meiko for example, she can easily say “I was just doing what was requested of me” and they’d be like “unnnghhhh I guess!!”

Besides, she has job security in the sense that Meiko considers her to be the best worker there (after her, obviously lmao) so she wouldn’t dare lose the order Mariya provides; because she’ll whine and cry about it, enough for Naobito to intervene, making him wonder why she was fired, forcing Meiko to say “well, because Naoya–“ and yeah, I don’t think anyone to be in that situation hahaha so she’s safe.

I’d say Naoya is greatly oblivious to body language when it comes to… socializing? Cause he’s great when it comes to analyzing targets in a jujutsu environment, but even then, I think he’d still be somewhat bad compared to others 😂 he's the kind of person that believes brute force overrules everything else, so he shouldn't worry about those menial details. (Kind of like Endeavor from MHA? Like he's a great hero, but in the sense of crime fighting, he didn't really care about making a fan base or anything else really... OUTSIDE OF SHOTO OF COURSE)

And because Y/N has always been “coy” when he’s around, he doesn’t think much of it outside of being normal behavior from her, so yeah, he didn't get any sense of "something's going on" when she acted the way she did.

Naoya being derange isn’t a surprise to anyone at this point 😭 I’m telling you, he does things that under any normal context it would’ve been sweet, but since he’s… him, it’s not lmao. I can’t imagine how terrified Y/N was upon hearing he went all the way down to the post office just to find out what happened with his gift. He’s determined, that’s for sure, and it makes her wonder what other things he's done already—although at that moment, at the same time she was hoping she’d be able to escape this situation… well, alive, she was mostly worried that her letters might be uncovered too. Thankfully Naoya was focused on something else 💀

And yep, the way he jumped into conclusions was eerie, but I think it was because deep inside him, he knew that was what actually happened. He had enough of bad history with his wife to know that she, more likely than not, discarded his gifts. Did he ever wonder why? No. Would he dare to ask? I don’t think so. And even if he did, would he understand? I think he’d feel offended if anything, more so when Naoaki’s gestures had been happily received. Oof.

Maybe if he wasn’t so paranoid (or heart broken, let’s be real) he might’ve considered someone else from the staff, leading him into another wild goose chase; good, this is revenge for what he put Hinata through.

I’m glad you liked the confrontation!!! It was above everything, awkward, cause there’s no actual confrontation coming from Naoya if that makes sense? Like he’s not open to actual conversations, he just wants to know the why of certain things, and if it fits his ideals, good, if not, God help us.

I definitely believe Naoaki thinks Naoya is so… “isolated” from the real world that he might actually, genuinely not know what he’s doing—can’t blame him, he had Naobito and the rest of the family as guidance lol—but his inability to even consider other possibilities is what always frustrates him 😂 poor Naoaki, he can’t go on with his life without being constantly disappointed by his relatives. (Have Mai and Maki disappointed him too? I wonder...)

My favorite part, and I’ll never stop talking about it hahahah, was when he asked Naoya if he “loved” Y/N aughagaga DAMN the skepticism was there 100% for sureeeeeeeeee, he was hoping to hear his brother say something like “yeah, I do” so he could be like “bullshit!” and continue to take out his frustrations, but the way Naoya remained quiet, looking away almost as if embarrassed!!! Now that’s when he knew there were feelings for her—beneath the complicated layers that make him a monster, Naoya was still capable of harboring sentiments for someone else (Allegedly… all allegedly…) and Naoaki immediately felt bad for putting him on the spot like that. He still cares for his baby brother after all 😭😭😭

I certainly feel bad that their relationship turned into this—I can only wonder what occurred on the manga for Naoya to want them (more) dead lol. If he’s already unhinged at 19, imagine at 27 💀 Ah, but one can dream….

AHAHAHAH Him just spacing out immediately after Y/N said that is, ugh idk satisfying and sad at the same time—like sure I feel sorry that his wife was like “no, you don’t care” and I could’ve had her say something like “ewww” but Y/N isn’t that disrespectful; and come on what was Naoya expecting 😂?? For her to be like “omg I’m so sorry Naoya I should’ve known” please!!! She was appropriate enough to state the truth, that he doesn’t care for anyone but himself, he should’ve just taken it and left them (which he did: I imagine he remained quiet, spacing out as he stared at the two before turning around and disappearing into the hallways. Naoaki and Y/N look at each other, wondering what happened before wondering if he’s going to return. Naoaki tells her no, but that she should be careful nonetheless. Y/N goes with Mariya, tells her staff what went down and collectively decide to keep a low profile—Hitomi offers to keep a lookout on Naoya, only stopping when she overheard that he was in his room and has been for the past few hours. They go on with their day, or attempt to, and that’s when Mariya decides to let them know of her secret hideout)

To irritate Ren, I decided that the song that best fits this scene is this one. And just for a little, tiny part before the chorus and Mel B's part hahahahha. That's the only thing that actually applies to their whole dilemma at this point.

Now, the good part… The dream sequence was the one thing I’ve been wanting to show you for a while now hahah I just kept teasing you about it, and I’m glad it got the reaction it did hahahahhahahhhahahahahahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

I was 99.9999% sure that most of my readers would immediately catch on to the fact that this was a dream, since I’ve never portrayed Y/N to be that crazy, you know? Like her making fun of Naoya is off the table completely; sure, she’s made some jokes here and there, but they’re always lighthearted—or at least I think that’s the impression one gets when reading them—never off the rails as this dream sequence 💀 leave that to Naohiko lol.

Either way, I tried my best to cover the fact it was a dream, and if someone saw right through it, it still served to show just how messed up Naoya is on an emotional at this moment.

But yeah, this nightmare worked really well ‘cause there was that lingering question of whether Naoaki and Y/N were finally going to do something more… intimate. I feel that if I hadn’t worked their relationship up to that point it would’ve easily been like “nah, this is a dream goodbye” 😈 glad it worked in the end hahahah!!!

Now that it’s mentioned, the scene where Naoaki is disrupted by Naoya is ironically funny—it was so out of the blue first he was like “I sleep” and then Naoya comes into his room to ask the most random question before leaving.

Naoaki for sure thought he made it up—he was worried for Y/N and overworked by all his duties that he was like “Man, I’m even starting to dream about Naoya wtf??” his slumber overtook him almost immediately after; had he not been that exhausted you can be 100% certain he would’ve gone after Naoya.

And I agree—Y/N for sure thought she was going to die at that moment, although it was a fear that quieted down a bit for the sake of her staff’s wellbeing… yet, the thing that surprised her the most was to see Naoya so… disturbed—he’d seen him angry, arrogant, a complete monster… but she’d never seen him so defeated. So yeah, I think she believed she was going to die, but more in a sense of shock of not knowing what the hell was going on.

Now, for your last question… Naoya desperately wanted to keep her there above anything else, but his broken heart also wanted to tell her that he did care for her, at least to some extent, if not then why would he have married her? A mystery for sure. If I had to boil it down to a singular reason, it was him wanting to tell her how much he wants to be with her. Happily, be with her.

(No one heard Naoya cry, outside of Y/N retreating as quickly as possible, I envision him to be a silent crier in a way, not wanting anyone to hear him out of fear of being reprimanded more than shame—Naobito as a father must’ve been really, really tough. And if anyone did hear him, they would’ve never thought it was him to begin with.)

Thank you so much for tuning in for another chapter!! 🥺❤️❤️❤️❤️ I really greatly, enormously enjoy your asks, they give me so much insight about things that sometimes escape my mind!! Kgagagkak I don’t know how to describe it, but they motivate me allot 😭❤️

I can’t wait to show you the rest of the story…. Another…. Specific part I want you to read (well, more than one, but that one is another favorite of mine) hahahahahaaa

Once again, thank you so much for your support 🥺😭❤️ I shall strive to deliver the next chapters to the best of my ability!!!

Take care, and hope to see you soon 🥺❤️

[madamefeu]

Seeing you rightfully call out the utter bullshit of Akito's "redemption" has me heated. The story becomes irredeemably bad the moment the forgiveness shit is pushed. Takaya is on my shit list for life for how she handled Tohru's character, she is my favourite I love her compassion for people and her determination to never give up despite how difficult things can be plus her learning to move on from her crippling grief resonates with me. The ending Takaya gives her is fucking vile Tohru forgiving and befriending Akito is bullshit and my mind is never going to change on that. The sole reason Tohru wants to break the curse is because she sees how much her friends are suffering under Akito's abuse both mentally and physically. She would never be so inconsiderate of their feelings as to befriend the person who hurt them so much. That's not even getting to my other major problem with this storyline Tohru never even learns about half of the horrific shit Akito does to her friends, Takaya intentionally has her character be left in the dark. Not to mention how abusive akito is to HER!

She manipulates her the first time they meet and then at the beach house she threatens her and scratches up her face. Tohru outright admits she is scared of her. Then towards the end of the story akito then has the audacity to blame her for the zodiacs not loving her despite that being the consequences of her own disgusting actions. She shows up at the house to hurt and potentially kill Tohru, she slaps her multiple times, stabs her and pushes her close to the cliffs end directly putting her in danger. Akito almost gets the poor girl killed. Akito spends the entire story being an abusive monster to Tohru and the people she loves. And nearly leads to multiple characters dying, Takaya really wants us to think a friendship Between the two of them is cute because they both relate to being lonely???? And that the characters apparently aren't that different to each other???When they clearly are. Tohru is a kind and compassionate person who helps those around her while Akito is a manipulative snake who treats those around her like they are her possessions. Tohru grows up being bullied and alone. Akito is a child abuser and commits multiple attempted murders. Trust me Takaya these characters aside from them having tragic backstories and fears of abandonment are as far away from each other as you can get. The friendship is disgusting, Akito is an evil bitch period she is not Tohru's problem or her responsibility. Also Uo and Hana being friends with her after they find out she nearly killed their best friend and Kureno was also so gross. The characters do some of the most OOC shit in order to give Akito one of the least deserving redemption arcs i have ever seen. It is truly some of the most atrocious, insulting writing, Takaya should be embarrassed for thinking this was an acceptable way to end the story.

I haven't read the spin off but Akito having a child just reinforces that she is still the same selfish person she has always been. Her wanting to have children but deciding not to because of how they would suffer due to her terrible actions would actually mean she has to live with the consequences of what she has done. but of course we can't have that. Anyway i just wanted to vent because I love this story but the ending will always leave a bad taste in my mouth. Tohru and the others deserved so much better for all the abuse they endured and Akito should rot in prison for her crimes. I really don't care that the final message is meant to be about forgiveness some things are just inexcusable. If you are reading this hope you have a nice day and thanks for listening.

100% agree with every single thing you said. Akito deserves nothing but a lengthy jail sentence for everything she’s done. She gets away with everything, and does nothing to deserve anyone’s love or forgiveness. Screw her, and screw Natsuki Takaya for being such a blatant abuse apologist.

[lookbluesoup]

Random question time!

Has Lyrha ever been to Old Sharlayan and Thavnair? Does/would she like it there?

How does Nahte'to find the Myths of the Realm raids? What does it mean to him, meeting (and fighting) the Twelve? And how does he get along with that Deryk fellow?

Thank you so much for the ask! :3

1. Lyrha's been to both Sharlayans thanks to Nahte dragging the Red Mages into Scion business! She also visited the abandoned colony as part of her training with Arya and X'rhun, during the RDM questline. She didn't really understand why they'd ditch such a well-built place with so much wealth and technology... until she landed in their main city and met the populace. Suffice to say her friendship with the Scions was not enough to stop her from robbing Fourchenault of various important looking knick-nacks and leaving a dead fish in one of his locked desk drawers. She says he was asking for it.

Before then, she never had much reason to set foot in either, although the seas around them? Those she can navigate like a pro! I'lyrha is... very extremely extra wanted in Thavnair. As a trading hub between East and West, she worked with many a crew during her pirating days to harass ships coming and going. It's possible she earns a pardon over the course of Endwalker, at the Scion's intervention... but for most of the Blasphemy business, she's in Ala Mhigo with X'rhun, so she's not done much to foster reparations with Thavnair or Radz-at-Han. I don't see that being resolved, at least for the moment.

She probably did visit it a few times before she became notorious, and I think she would have enjoyed its bright colors and vibrant people. The giant eyeball carving "watching" the way into Radz-at-Han though? Terrifying. Very sus.

---

2. At the time you asked this I had gotten as far as unlocking Aglaia and then... been too scared to touch current expac raid content for months since. So a double thank you for the ask because I finally faced my fear and did both it and Euphrosyne this past week. Though I spent a lot of Euphrosyne dead on the floor (They call me Rez Mage because I need a rez. Again.) now I actually have enough context to answer this LOL

Nahte has struggled with his faith a LOT through MSQ. He was fairly devout about Menphina until Dalamud exploded into a Primal. Things started to get a little shaky after that...

But when Hydaelyn spoke to him, CHOSE him? He really believed in the cause. He wanted to be her champion, to serve as he was called. As it progressed... a lot of things she did, or didn't do, or omitted/lied about, effectively crippled Nahte's faith in the gods and any trust he had that their goals aligned. Especially after finding out the second moon was also artificial. If he couldn't believe in the Mothercrystal, how could Menphina be different? (His journey through THAT and his feelings about Venat are a whole other essay)

While he'd made peace with a lot of it and generally preferred men be masters of their own fate, there were a lot of unresolved emotional wounds that I think... true to his fashion, Nahte hadn't even realized he was carrying, he'd pushed them so far back.

When he first got to The Omphalos, he was ready to throw hands with another bout of Primals. But this situation is different. Gods like Nald'thal and Halone have been far kinder than he anticipated, none of them have demanded reverence, and they're not aether-sucking vampires.

He doesn't exactly trust them, especially knowing Hydaelyn had a hand in it all. But it's started to pull on some of those loose threads in his mind, and a lot of those wounds are starting to actually show.

Menphina... has so far been everything he could have hoped or wanted her to be. Her love for life, her compassion, her inquisitive nature - her genuine ache to help those who call out to her... that's been healing in a way he didn't know he needed. I think the pulse of drawing that pain out has probably brought him to tears intermittently.

She might not be an omnipotent deity. But so far, at least, she hasn't disappointed him. She's been the embodiment of unconditional, innocent, genuine love that he grew up putting faith in - and the idea that she did hear him, every time he reached out, even when he had doubts... that someone up there was watching, and did care, and didn't see him as a pawn on a millennia-spanning chessboard is a pretty big deal.

More than that, her core purpose is described as not simply presiding over the moon - but also the turn of night and day in a cycle. Something that would certainly encourage Nahte, who in the past often struggled with balancing his Moonkeeper and Sunseeker halves.

I've struggled to break down Nahte's feelings about this in a coherent way but essentially... it's an opportunity for him to reconcile the part of himself that is very spiritual - which was badly wounded by years fighting false gods, with the wisdom he's gained that beliefs shape reality, and his firm desire to determine his own fate. They can coexist - logic, faith, and pain need not be in conflict.

Whether all this arc will ultimately give him any more healing with regards to Hydaelyn, or simply salt the wounds... I'm not sure! We'll have to see how it all resolves. I've been surprised too many times from Shadowbringers onward to reliably speculate.

As for Deryk, Nahte likes him! Nahte can certainly relate to the wanderlust, though he personally finds it more fulfilling to travel with friends at his side. He's... pretty sure the Opo-opo is Oschon. He hasn't asked it, but there have been a few very long bouts of staring back and forth at each other.

[rhythmgamer]

just very random out of context talking here haha

(TW FOR MENTION OF A PANIC ATTACK AND ANXIETY IN FIRST PARAGRAPH)

i. kind of just recovered from a panic attack. yeah my anxiety is really really awful and the thought of even facing tomorrow, facing life again was threatening enough to spiral me into an attack.

but im not here to talk about that.

i just. wanted to say that despite everything, despite having so many mental issues and not being able to do much about them (mostly due to financial reasons)....i....i have a lot of love in my heart.

yeah it's not at all related to whatever i said before but it actually is. i kind of find it incredible that im still able to love despite going through so much.

if you're reading this, i love you. if you're not reading this, (even if you don't know since you're not reading) i still love you. as long as you've had a positive effect on my life, as long as you've never purposefully hurt me, i love you.

it's not just people btw. i love trees, i love flowers, i love birds, i love ants, i love cats, i love foxes, i love almost all animals (except mosquitoes sorry i have personal enmity against them).

even inanimate objects. i love my plushies. i love my body pillow especially because i can hug it during my attacks to calm down. i love my collection of seashells. i love rice. i love rotis. i love ramen. i love garlic. i love water (this just made me drink some!), i love wind, i love earth and the feel of earth in my hands.

it's hard to say if i love what I'm studying, mostly due to shitty teachers who teach horrible and make me scared of the class. but the material? i love love LOVE it when i study on my own. i just. wish i had a better teacher.

do i love myself? that's an even harder question to answer. because....i simply don't really know who i am. it's hard to love a person when you don't know the person.

but I'll say this: the person residing in my body? they're an absolute badass for going through so much shit and still surviving. once upon a time they couldn't imagine even reaching the age of 16 (depressive reasons). they're still fucked up mentally, but hey, they're 20 now. I'd say I'm damn proud of them making it this far.

i know it's very very hard for them, even now they can't really envision a future. but they've made it this far. so i trust that they'll make it even furthur, and i hope they overcome their crippling fear of asking for help. hey buddy, if you're reading this in future, just remember that it's okay to ask for help ♡ nobody will belittle you or mock you or abandon you for it. and if they do, they weren't worth the time anyway. remember this okay? i love you ♡ (there i said it lol)

anyway, i got sidetracked.

in conclusion, i am so so full of love for EVERYONE and EVERYTHING despite whatever the fuck has happened to me all these years. sometimes i find it confusing, sometimes intriguing. but anyway, it is what it is.

i forgot the original purpose of this essay lol. i don't think anyone is reading it anymore at this point. but if you are, thank you for reading this. I'm gonna send you off with one of my most favourite mundane-seeming lines ever:

Goodnight, I love you. (~ Looking Glass)

[moinsbienquekaworu]

Ooo tell me bout the OCs pls 👀👀👀

Kisses for you too Tomas 😭 😭 I love you 💕

Okay so there's this whole thing about how swag they are here because Pigeon was also very nice and sent me a message as well, but I think to you I can give more SW specific details since you know who the canon characters are lol.

So Korcha was born in 92BBY, which as you'll notice is either a decade older than Qui-Gon or his exact age, but in any case that means they are the perfect age to be tea time buddies and just sit down in either of their quarters and drink tea with biscuits and talk about whatever Jedi masters talk about (Temple gossip? the Force? their Padawans? I don't know but they have fun!) Their Padawans are invited of course, I'd have to check but I think there was a period of a few years where Obi-Wan was Padawan at the same time as Reil and then later the end of his apprenticeship overlaps with Devafe, so like they know each other hehe. In any case, then Qui-Gon dies and Korcha is obviously supportive, especially because Madam Rules Are Important would obviously like Obi-Wan, and I don't want her to have had too big of an impact but she was definitely there in the background I swear she wouldn't abandon him when the times are tough! I like to think she started inviting him for tea after a few years, and Devafe had to deal with Anakin just Being There. Maybe that's when he kicks her ass even though he's 7 years younger that would be funny. Anyway after the war and everything they don't see each other a lot but at some point they like share a spaceship cause they're going the same way or something and she gives him one of the teacups she thinks would fit him and in my head it's a very touching moment.

While they're on the same ship actually I think it would be cool if Anakin and Korcha swapped Padawans (yes Anakin is there too two halves of a single warrior etc) because Korcha is pretty good at Jar'kai but prefers Shii-Cho, so that's a change from Ahsoka's usual teachers and she could get a lot from it. Meanwhile Anakin trying to understand why Lineth, who is a year older than his own apprentice, still gets tripped up by Initiate mistakes when he knows Master Serach must've taught her better (the answer is crippling fear of failure and stress and it would be sweet if he realised it was useless going over it again and again and instead cheered her up & gave her some self confidence but I don't know how that would go exactly)

About the aforementioned Anakin kicks Devafe's ass in the training salles, I like the idea of them fighting and he's old enough that it's not obvious Devafe would win, and then he beats her and Miss Prides Myself On Working Hard And Being The Best is like "oh no it's fine. No I don't mind haha. Yes Padawan Skywalker well done, you sure got me there! See you next time :)" and then she does her best to avoid a repeat by not being available to fight ever again lol

Also as established Obi-Wan knows Reil, and he actually probably saw him a liittle bit in the crèche but not that much so it barely counts, but Ahsoka 100% knows him and she has fond memories of like, fingerpainting with Master Reil or whatever, and since people her age all know him anyway because there can't be like too many crèchemasters for people not to know them, she just mentions him but Anakin never really talked to him so he's like "wait who's that dude?" and then she gets to explain to him who Master Reil is.

Okay other fun idea but I think Reil likes Yoda because they work together and Korcha likes Yoda because Harches live for centuries too and she totally came to his rooms at like two in the morning the day of Reil's Knighting a little panicked because he's going to die before her and they grow up so fast and how do you deal with that and he comforts her. Like Reil's apprenticeship lasted 15 years, from ages 13 to 28, and he was her first apprentice, and she thought it would be fine because obviously he's ready for it and he'll make a great Knight, but :((( he's leaving now and he's going to die at like 90! She won't even be halfway through her life! She could see his grandpadawans!! And she's grown enough to recognise that she needs to talk about it with someone, and Yoda's door is always open, so Yoda it is. Wouldn't that be sweet?? It would, it would be so sweet!!

And lastly I already shared that one but I think it would be funny if while he was looking for other Mandalorians Din heard the SW equivalent of your grandma who reads people magazines about royalty go "oh yes, I remember that one time like 15 years ago a Mandalorian and one of the Mikkian princesses got married! Too bad the ceremony was private I would've loved to see the pictures" and so he goes to Mikkia instead of finding Bo-Katan or something. And Karaad is still there, obviously, beautiful children and beautiful wife, but let me tell you when the guards announce there's a Mandalorian guy at the door asking if there is a Mandalorian lady here she panics a little. The last time she talked to a Mandalorian if you exclude her dad was a whiile ago and she's desperately trying to guess based on armor description :') and then it's just Din. For maximum crack Karaad is a person who, because she doesn't even know which species she is, spent her life looking through various bestiairies and such trying to see someone who looks like her to know what's going on, so she would most likely recognise Grogu as a baby Yoda, since she's old enough to remember the Jedi and Yoda was a pretty unconventional looking little dude (and also she fought "against" the Order technically so yeah she's familiar with the Jedi, ancestral enemies and all) So she just sees Grogu and she's like "damn wtf, you want to know what that is? Yeah uh can he do magic? Yeah that's a Jedi I'm so sorry dude lol". Also Tevlin invites him to stay for a while if he wants and to dine with them that evening, and he's too polite to decline but he's not going to take his helmet off, obviously, so he has the same type of reaction to Karaad taking hers off to eat he had to Bo-Katan & her Nite Owls, and then Karaad gets to deal with the memories of traditions she hasn't thought of in a while since she doesn't really practice anymore. Fun times etc.