#and everyone gets SO FUCKING MAD because he TRICKED THEM INTO ACTING AGAIN

[cloudyscollections]

you cant just leave me with that

JHSKDFHJKSDFJK ok reasonable.

ive seen your pokey x paul and i understand and support your dreams but unfortunately. i have a pokey ship that im attached to that is objectively Worse.

ok let me explain: i watched workin boys with my boyf when it dropped. after we watched npmd. and despite knowing nothing about what workin boys was gonna be going in, we both had the SAME ASSUMPTION:

we both assumed the Boys were pokey-possessed (im p sure on the livestream it just said they were ghosts???? or something??? i dont know)

AND we BOTH thought the twist was gonna be that ""Chad"" is POKEY

which COULD have really interesting lore implications. it could imply a couple interesting things! it could imply that stu, mark, steve, leighton, and hidgens were like. in a cult of some kind, that all worshipped pokey, and talked about him in code by calling him "chad".......or. the much funnier alternative. pokey is just a part of the workin boys polycule JHKSDLFHJKLSDFHJKL FOR NO REASON.

then that idea completely spiraled out of control and then we had brilliant ideas such as "pokey was jealous of the other boys taking all of hidgens attention so he smited him with the Foresight Beam to see what would happen" and "chad actually rejected hidgens when he asked him out so pokey apothosized chad and accepted for him bc he thought henry deserved it and then just dated him like normal and hidgens just doesnt notice that ""chad"" has bright blue eyes and likes singing a lot more than he used to"

we (me n my boyf) just love this dynamic for some reason,,,???? its gotten a little unhinged. pokey is just utterly obsessed with this man for no reason. he sees him as a kindred spirit. the Foresight Lightning Beam was supposed to be a gift but it can more closely be equated to a scientist zapping a mouse as positive reinforcement so they can watch what will happen. its how they knew and apothosized the corpses of greg and stu so fast (since we know know that at least stu IS probably the guy hidgens recognized as such in tgwdlm, since hes both played by corey; obv greg had to be recast but my point stands). pokey inadvertently helped create workin boys and thats how the hive knew the coreography and words in tgwdlm because they have been WAITING for an opportunity to sing and dance with their favorite boy!!!!!!

we were joking but it became Not A Joke so fast. ive drawn fanart.

so. pokey x hidgens is real to me. we call it pidgens :)

[anastasiabowe]

Can you do Akashi, Aomine and Kagami to reacting to their gf flashing them?? 🤭

𝙇𝙊𝙊𝙆 𝘼𝙏 𝙈𝙀! — whenever your boyfriend ignores you, and won’t give you attention, you know exactly what will.

note: I literally didn’t know what to do sooo 😃

Content warnings: boobs, swearing, seduction..?, this is kind of a normal post so that’s a warning of itself, anything else 16+!

★ — 𝗔𝗞𝗔𝗦𝗛𝗜

Akashi scrolled on his phone as he was sitting on his gaming chair. He doesn’t usually play video games, but after the embarrassing list he faced a few days prior, this was his only escape. He cringed at the thought of losing, so he tossed his phone into the desk and pressed resume on the game he was playing.

You widened your mouth as you noticed he just ignore the text you sent because his ears must have stopped working. You continued to poke and repeat yourself as he just ignored you. He didn’t even flinch when you flicked his neck.

You frowned and an idea popped up in your head. You walk towards his chair, and pulled it back a little. Again he didn’t flinch or even blink towards the action. You stepped in front of him and lifted your shirt. He was about to yell at you until his eyes fell onto your chest.

“Wh-“ his eyes widened, and you smirked. You could feel the internal conflict ion on what he should do, that very much annoying you. He ended up turning off his controller quickly and throwing it off to the side. He grabbed your hips and pulled you onto his lap.

You pulled your shirt back down, and he frowned. “So I have to show my tits just for you to acknowledge my existence?”

He looked at your face, and lifted up your shirt. He kissed your nipple, and smirked.

“Yes.”

★ — 𝗔𝗢𝗠𝗜𝗡𝗘

Whenever Aomine is upset, everyone else must be miserable. Today, Aomine refused to speak to you. You ask him if he wants his favorite lunch, crickets. You ask him if he wanted to go out and play basketball with his friends who he was ignoring also.

All day you tried to convince him to speak to you, you made him food, did his laundry, organized his things, you even shined his basketball which he usually was grateful for yet he didn’t even bat an eye.

You sit next to him as he was laying on your bed scrolling on his phone. You honestly don’t know what will make him talk. You’ve offered to blow him, rub his feet, scratch his back, you got so desperate you styled his hair, which he also is usually grateful for. So you yourself poured, and repeatedly asked him to at least look at you.

“Aominichi!” He yawned, and continued to scroll. “Look at me, please!” He readjusted himself to where he was laying on his stomach. You felt defeated, he is a stubborn bitch. But then, you remembered, you had one more trick that should work.

You grab the hem of your shirt and lifted it up. You pulled your bra over too, and pulled them both off all the way.

“Aomine.” Your voice no longer had desperation, but amusement.

“Look at me!” You wiggled your boobs, and you saw his eyes quickly flick over your chest. After a little while, he turned off his phone, and finally looked at you. You smirked and he rolled his eyes.

“You’re such a perv, Aominichi!” You giggled

“Shut up!” He groaned.

★ — 𝗞𝗔𝗚𝗔𝗠𝗜

Ever since the silly little fight Kagami and his brother had, he was upset at everything. He would get mad and scream at his door when it would open when he turned his key. He would groan extreme hard when he tripped on his own shoe. He would even scoff at you when you sneezed towards his way.

You obviously were sick of this little kagatude and he clearly didn’t give a single fuck. You tried to tell me him to chill out, or get a grip, but he would ignore you and act as if you didn’t exist.

He was laying on your shared bed, and you told him you were taking a shower, and if he’d like to join he could. You both never had taken a shower together. Actually, you both have never seen each other naked, so you though maybe he would be persuaded by that, but he wasn’t. You had taken that shower alone, and you were upset. He has been eager to see you makes more than you have, and you were the one holding back, so this was obviously very annoying.

You looked at your naked body in front of of the mirror, as you stepped out and you thought of a brilliant idea. You grabbed your towel and wrapped it around your body. Thankfully you didn’t need to wash you hair so this plan would be perfect.

You stepped out of the bathroom, and Kagami was laying on his back on his phone as the tv played a show he was watching. You stepped in front of the tv, and smirked.

“Hey, Kagami, look.” You dropped the towel, and Kagami for a sec didn’t look, but when he did, he sat up. You laughed, and he moved himself to the end of the bed. He grabbed your hips and pulled you onto his growing boner.

“Crazy you would ignore me until now, what made you change your mind?”

“Don’t worry about it.” He chuckled. He kissed your lips, and his hands wrapped around your body, and pulled you closer to him.

You giggled as he kissed your neck down to your chest, he circled his tongue in your nipple, and bit it.

You pulled from him, and he chased you, but you pushed his head back.

“Glad I got your attention, but you don’t get to touch me anymore. You don’t deserve it.”

[stevieschrodinger]

Just imagine how put out Dustin would be. He's spent months and months working on Steve, trying to get him to come and play. It had been a personal, ongoing campaign. He used every trick and manipulation and wasn't above just outright whining about it. All he asks is Steve try it; just once.

Just imagine how put out he is when Eddie gets out of the hospital, and he asks Steve one time, and Steve says yes. But of course Dustin can't complain OUT LOUD, because he got what he wanted, didn't he? Steve's going to play.

Dustin makes this as absolutely painless as possible; Steve doesn't even see his character sheet until it's done. Dustin has him roll for stats. They talk about race and class. They talk about what skills his character should have...but he doesn't go into detail. he wants to make this fun for Steve, so he lets Steve pick whatever the hell he wants and when Steve calls his gnome Trip Hazard, Dustin doesn't even bitch about it.

Dustin corners Eddie ten minutes before their one shot starts, and explicitly tells him to let Steve get away with absolutely any and all bullshit. The goal here is that Steve comes back.

Of course Dustin has no idea that Eddie has been making heart eyes at Steve for literally years and fully intends to do that, anyway.

It's a one off, so Eddie has some fun with it. He's generous with the XP and everyone has two levels before lunch, excitedly choosing new skills and spells. After a mini boss battle they come across a hoard of treasure; some of it magical.

It's a free for all and everyone walks away with a fun new powerful toy for their character; Eddie's even pre made little cards with illustrations, descriptions, and the magical abilities of each item. He does a whole array, more than they need, but everyone gets one thing each.

Steve, hilariously, chooses a seven foot spear.

Eddie holds it together and does not laugh. He lets Steve do whatever he wants, and when Steve has a moment of madness and acts out his tiny gnome suddenly getting his spear stuck in every single doorway, everyone looses their shit.

The final battle though, that evening, rapidly because serious; an acid spewing black dragon. Everyone rolls initiative. The Dragon, with advantage, goes first, and the battle goes back and forth for several turns before, "the great beast raises itself onto it's back legs, mighty wings spread, so massive they fill the cavern," Eddie climbs up on his chair, spreading his arms demonstrably, "the dragon draws in a mighty breath...Will the Wise, your move."

The party uses their turn to attack, moving their little people on the board appropriately. Steve's turn comes and everyone looks at him..."I'll, ah, move, I think."

"Attack Steve!" Dustin encourages him.

Steve moves his little gnome, with hilariously oversized cardboard accessory, to directly in front of the dragon, the air in the room grows heavy, intent, "no attack...I set to receive a charge."

Every turns to look at Eddie, who frowns down at the map.

"It's on here," Steve volunteers the little card that came with his spear. "This counts, right? Double damage because it's magic, then setting to receive a charge is double damage again..."

Everyone looks back to Eddie again who, solemnly, frowns...then nods.

The dragon unleashes it's attack, everyone in the party taking damage. The dragon falls forward, aiming to land on all of it's feet again.

"Does that...work?" Steve asks hesitantly.

Eddie nods. The damage is so great when Dustin works it out, they have to borrow dice from Will to combine with Dustin's so Steve can roll them all together. The combination enough to fill his cupped hands.

Steve kills the dragon. Everyone is up, screaming and cheering.

Steve is the only one to notice when Eddie rolls damage; Trip Hazard is instantly killed by the crushing force of a dragons corpse.

Steve doesn't care, especially not when Eddie gets real close to whisper in his ear, "that was so fucking clever, I'm furious."

[nikalaeva]

Why is the Night Court so boring?

I don't like the NC, Velaris and the IC because they are perfect. You're probably thinking: "Wait, what about Illyria? The Court of Nightmares?" They're not the problem. We see MENTIONS of rebellions, not rebellions (and only in ACOFAS). We're scared that the CoN is filled with mad mothefuckers so they shouldn't be allowed into civilized Velaris. But where's their abnormality? They're religious fanatics? No. They're terrorists? No. They're just... arrogant conservatives. You know, FAIRIES.

ACOMAF could be Feyre Cursebreaker's journey and a slowburn with a morally gray Rhysand. Okay, let's say ACOMAF is only about the NC. What kind of plot could we see?

1. The rivalry between Keir and Rhysand.

Keir is the most dangerous faerie in the NC. What if very old faeries are immune to daemati's power? Rhysand isn't afraid of him, but he has to be careful and cunning to be respected in this terrarium called the Court of Nightmares. Some fairies wanted to take power from Keir, stabbing him in the back. Keir is here, and where are they? No one has seen them again... And why Rhysand chose Mor as his "second"? She knows Keir. She knows his tricks, his way of thinking, his confidants and enemies.

Keir can't ignore Feyre: if Rhysand took Mor with her "power of truth" (whatever that means), Keir wants Cursebreaker. Feyre needs to learn how get along with fairies like Keir, 'cause that's the politics - it doesn't care about your feelings or traumas.

2. Rebellions in Illyria.

We have Devlon with old warriors defends the centuries-old, cruel order of Illyrian society, and Balthazar with the younger generation who wants changes. It's useless to frighten the Illyrians with brute force, diplomacy will not be effective. Imagine that in Rhysand's absence, Cassian has decided to support Devlon 'cause with enemies like Amarantha and Hybern, you can't relax. Azriel is on Balthazar's side 'cause he knows better than anyone - cruelty corrupts. Of course, they respect Rhysand, but he is more High Fae than Illyrian.

The Illyrians can't ignore Feyre - she has the powers of all High Lords. Yes, she's a woman, but so was Amarantha, and what did she do on her own? Feyre knew poverty, just like Cassian. Her kindness and compassion are not weakness. Feyre was neglected by her family, suffered tortures, and she is unique, just like Azriel. Feyre needs to learn the importance of laws, the line between respecting traditions and the harm it causes.

3. Amren.

Damn, how SJM screwed up with her... A creature who is over 15,000 years old, acts like my mean grandma. Imagine if Rhysand's "third" was a real otherworldly monster. The banshee who went out of control. She can't talk, only cry, scream and howl, but with this she warns of danger and brings death. Rhysand's power can restrain Amren, but he is forced to feed her by souls to keep her from escaping the NC.

Feyre must help him, because Amren is ready to fight with the Weaver. For them it is merely a territorial matter, like for animals, but for Velaris it will be disastrous. Forget the fucking ring. Feyre must lure the Weaver away and bring her home while Rhysand does the same to Amren.

So, Rhysand protected Velaris from Amaranta, but the High Lord is so important that without him any community falls into chaos. Rhysand just can't be a good guy 'cause in the NC good guys drop like flies. And Feyre is a new force, a fresh perspective. And in the end the land chooses her as High Lady - equal to Rhysand, but not because she is his mate/wife (slowburn, remember?), but because she has earned it through her work.

But fans find more interesting to see Feyre as a whore and a thief, Keir as a pathetic bitch under Rhysand's thumb, the IC as the perfect family, Velaris as a fairytale. Illyria and the CoN are the background: there's something going on, but it's not worth paying attention to. We're more interested in seeing when and how Feyre and Rhysand will fuck, and everyone else doing something to make an illusion of a plot.

That's why the Night Court is so boring. And, unfortunately, we stuck in there.

[gh0st-t0wn3]

Lmk ss edits + headcanons, Part 5 (Porty MK, Artist MK, Delivery MK)

- He/They

- Gay

- Calls Redson either Wildfire or Firecracker

- Whenever something goes wrong he says "called it." (He did not, in fact, call it)

- Calls everyone "Dude"

- Once took Redson out to the Anti-gravity Arcade and got mad when he passed out after almost 32 hours of non-stop dancing and playing arcade games

- Tells MK that he has no fashion sense but will wear the most atrocious combination of colours and patterns himself

- Has multiple ear piercings as well as a bellybutton and tongue piercing

-  Once threw a party that got busted by the police and dispelled himself to avoid getting caught

- Has so much energy, if he's not at a party he's constantly walking around the apartment, if his legs start hurting he'll sit down for like 8 seconds before getting up and walking around again because he still has so much energy left

- Makes the dirtiest jokes known to man kind

- Makes the others do karaoke night with him. every. week.

- Will sometimes put on lipstick and kiss all over Redsons face and neck to make og MK jealous (trust me guys, please🙏)

- Absolutely HATES dark chocolate, it's too bitter for him

- Despises the claw machine games at the arcade, if he gets something and then it falls out of the claw he'll literally break the glass and just take it

- Lives on energy drinks

- Will refuse to drink any soft drinks when they run out of bubbles

- Loves those cringey alpha wolf memes

- Laughs at those firemen saving people in reverse videos and always sends them to Redson, who also laughs at them (yes it does concern MK and the others)

- Smells like sweat and cotton candy (its from flavoured vape smoke)

- Love language is Quality time (and by quality time I mean partying)

- Has a whole box of glowsticks

- "Hey, hey, hey guys, watch this!!" *fails at trick*

- Loves candy, especially hard candies

- Scams kids out of their tickets at the arcade

- Paints his nails a different colour every week, and almost always uses glow in the dark nail polish

- Tried to make his own firework show once and set three houses on fire

- Would rearrange someone's whole room just to mess with them

- Has a monkey form just like og MK, he uses his tail to take prizes from the claw machines without having to actually play them

- He/They

- Gay

- Calls Redson his Muse

- Would probably collect bones. It freaks the fuck out of MK and the other clones

- Will destroy any and every art piece if it doesn't turn out exactly how he envisioned it in his head

- Writes fanfiction

- Constantly covered in paint splatters, charcoal, glue, etc

- Hates baths, lives off dry shampoo

- He acts like a cat whenever he gets wet

- Takes great care of all his art supplies and will flip out if something is out of place

- Agreed to help Sandy paint his boat again the second time he was summoned but only if Sandy stopped changing what colour he wanted it to be after every new coat of paint (Sandy learnt his lesson the first time art MK was summoned)

- His advice is always "just kill them"

- Bites ankles

- Was almost arrested for vandalism (he ran away from the cops)

- Once painted a picture of Redson, who only said "this is pretty good" (it was in fact a genuine compliment, he loved it), and Artist almost killed him

- Analyzes his dreams as if he's the prophet predicting the end of the world

- Won't let anyone use his art supplies

- Growls at people

- Perfectionist

- Smells like paint fumes

- Love language is gift giving and words of affirmation

- If he's focusing on something really hard and something startles him, he'll jump in the air like a cat

- Was drawing at a park once and a bunch of kids were being annoying so he tripped one when it ran past him

- Collects concept art books from literally anything, movies, video games, TV shows, it doesn't even matter if he's played/watched them he just likes looking at the concept art

- Insomniac who 'cures' it with an unholy amount of caffeine

- Has drank paint water before, will do it again

- Extremely passive agressive

- MK yelled at him once for getting paint all over his bed

- Has a monkey form just like og MK, he uses his tail to reach higher places when painting on walls and shit

(Had to use og MK has a base ref because the show did delivery MK dirty)

- He/They

- Gay

- Calls Redson Paprika

- Loves straws, will only ever drink something if he uses a straw (I did this as a kid)

- Is constantly listening to music while doing deliveries and has absolutely passed his destination on multiple occasions

- Surprisingly witty

- Is the only MK who knows how to cook and genuinely loves it

- Has a little bit more chub than og MK does (duplicatnation did him dirty and I will never forgive them for his design)

- Has gotten into physical fights with rude customers before and would do it again

- Absolutely HATES eating fish

-His shoe laces are never tied, the amount of orders he's ruined because he tripped on his stupid laces is insane

- If he gets bored he'll just lay on the floor and do nothing

- Has accidentally eaten dog food before

- After a long day of delivering he'll pass out for hours at a time then wake up again at like 2am

- "Not to be rude, but.." proceeds to say the most disrespectful shit you've ever heard

- Either cannot keep a secret for the life of him, or will immediately forget the secret 5 mins after being told what it is, no in-between

- Him and the other clones accidently broke into a strangers house once, and he felt really bad so he cleaned the dishes before leaving (it was on the news)

- Will @ a specific person in a group chat instead of just dming them

- Sometimes eats out of the noodles he's delivering, no one has found out yet

- Smells like noodles

- Love language is Acts of service

- If he gets into a fight with someone he is fully willing and ready to resort to biting

- Saw Monkey King eat his own hair once and almost threw up

- Sometimes if a customer is being rude while ordering over the phone he'll purposely drive slow or take a longer route so their noodles are cold when they get them (og MK has told him to stop multiple times because he's scared of Pigsy thinking he's the reason they get any bad reviews)

- Has a Spotify Playlist for every possible occasion

- Gives out really good hugs and will hug people for really long periods

- Cries when he sees sad animal videos

- Can't whistle to save his life

- Has a monkey form just like og MK, he uses his tail to hold more orders to get work done faster

[prodbyton]

the way you LITERALLY READ MY MIND WITH THE PERV!SEUNGHAN YOU WROTE???? like, i had "perv!Seunghan = 24/7 hornball; "i need you right now"" jotted down in my notes 🧍🏾‍♀️ kinda crazy how you looked into my brain, but i love it!!

recently, i've been giving perv!Anton maybe a little bit too much thought. i already decided that it had to do with taking pictures bc DUHHHH 🤪 Anton loves taking pictures of you. all. the. time. you don't mind bc you love posing for him (foreshadowing :D). any time you're together he takes at least 40 pictures of you and usually sends them immediately so you can keep your insta current.

you dressed up for a little morning date in a cute and maybe a little short skirt, but you two ended up spending the whole day together. it was so late you decided to stay over. he was distracted by whatever he was doing on his laptop, and you had to beg for the pictures he took (like full-on send it to me Rachel!! 😫). he tossed his phone to you without missing a beat.

you open the photo gallery and just before you tap the first picture of yourself, you see an album with a puppy. it was so cute you thought "oh, maybe Anton has a whole album of cute animals!" you tap it and immediately your jaw hits the floor. the first photo was a shot right up the skirt you were currently wearing. you quickly composed yourself and continued to scroll. there were so many pictures of your ass and cleavage, it made your head spin. and the occasional shot of your bare pussy from the hot nights you slept in only one of Anton's shirts didn't go unnoticed. you eventually sent the clothed pictures of yourself to your phone and acted like nothing happened. that's when the constant posing started.

you started wearing skirts and dresses more and dropping things more often. every time you get up after bending over, Anton's ears get so red. one day you decided to give Anton the special treat of a short skirt paired with no panties. when you did your usual extended bend-over, Anton very quickly excused himself. he damn near sprinted to the bathroom. you followed him because why not.

you stood outside the bathroom and could faintly hear him whisper to himself something along the lines of "i shouldn't keep doing this. she'll be so mad at me". the whispers soon turned into moans whimpers and the wet sound of Anton fucking his hand. you stood there the whole time just listening. this was probably the hottest moment of your relationship that didn't last long enough. the door swung open and he was so red in the face when he saw you. his eyes were wide and watery as he searched for something to say.

-🎀 (i am once again asking the universe for a man who is obsessed with me and is Anton)

im glad we’re on the same page abt perv hani, but i lowkey wanna hear your thoughts now 🙈 but thats just cuz seunghan makes me crazy

PERV ANTONNNN im doing backflips. been waiting for this one fr 🫦 but ugh he’s definitely the type to sneak pics. he has you and everyone fooled with the dog as the thumbnail trick so no one would suspect a thing. but you’re just a girl and if you see a photo album with a cute animal on it ofc you’d click on it :/ but then you see what your boyfriends been doing behind your back and you don’t know what to feel.

any normal person would be disgusted, it was perverted and just nasty to put your take photos of your girlfriends panties under her dress/skirt, using his height to his advantage so he can get better cleavage photos, keeping his phone by his side to get various shots of your ass, all behind your back. but you can’t help but be a little turned on. your boyfriend was so obsessed and attracted to you that he felt like he had to sneak to get a few panty shots.

i think if you gave him photos of your body he would appreciate them soo much, but something about sneaking them and getting them during candid moments just made the photos sexier for him. he even has his live photo setting on so he can play the 2 second clip of you bending over while he’s jerking off.

you had already found out about his little secret, but when you decide you wanted to catch him in the act you knew you had to think of a plan. when he sees you outside the bathroom door you play it off as you were just checking on him since you needed to go after him, and he tries to calm his racing heart from the idea of being caught.

it’s not until later when you ask for his phone, an innocent request and it’s not like he would ever hide his phone from you. you said you just wanted to play games on his phone while he watched whatever was on tv. he wasn’t even thinking about moving his little folder into his hidden before handing you his device, but he didn’t think you’d be going into his photo library if you were playing games.

after a bit, you open his camera and start taking selfies and this shouldn’t be an issue, anton loves when you do this, he loves having photos of you in his phone, but he was so nervous of you opening his camera roll. he got tense, suddenly wanting his phone back and you raised a brow at him but ignored him. you played it off by saying you wanted to look back on the photos you took so you could send them to yourself. now he’s praying that you dont notice that one specific folder when you open the photos app.

but you do. and anton feels like he’s going to throw up.

“you have a folder of animals? thats so cute how come you never send me these?”

“it just slipped my mind i guess…” he chuckles nervously and runs a hand through his hair, and then everything hits the fan the second your finger clicks on the icon.

all the photos he had of you in compromised positions, up your skirt, down your shirt, and just full on naked photos of your weak body after you two had sex was on display. you pretended to be shocked, like you hadn’t already discovered the folder some days ago, but anton was a mess trying to explain himself. strings of apologies leaving his lips and he’s basically on his knees begging for your forgiveness. you just cup his face in your hand, rubbing soothing circles on his cheek with your thumb.

he looked super hot like this, so pathetic under your touch begging for you to forgive him and to not think he’s some sick pervert. but you reassure him that it’s okay, and he can continue taking all the pictures he wants of you.

[okdeannawrites]

Sterek kiss 47

Here you go! #47 “out of spite” for the Write a Kiss prompt challenge

BLINDED BY THE TRUTH OF YOU AND ME

“Leave,” Stiles ordered, not even bothering to turn around and look at the man who just crawled through his bedroom window. “I mean it. I’m not doing this with you tonight. I’m busy.”

Derek scoffed. “Busy. Doing what? Multiplication tables?”

Stiles knew what the werewolf was doing. He wanted to make Stiles mad enough that he would turn around and face him. Except Stiles had no intention of doing that. Not tonight. Tonight, he was going to do his research and forget all about the existence of Derek fucking Hale.

He just had to get him to leave first.

Taking a deep breath, Stiles paused his fingers on his keyboard. “Contrary to popular belief, my life does not depend on or revolve around you. Now, go the fuck away. I’m busy.”

“I’m not leaving. Not until you hear me out.”

Hear him out. As if anything he said could possibly matter right now. “You told Peter I was an annoying human who was only good for research and nothing else so forgive me if I’m not interested in hearing anything else you have to say to me. I’m doing what I’m good at, according to you, so get the fuck out of my house so I can do it in peace.”

“That’s not what I meant.”

Sure, it wasn’t. Except that he had. He didn’t need werewolf senses to know that.

Ignoring him, Stiles went back to his search. Whatever creature they were dealing with, he needed to find out all he could about it in a hurry. Then he could forget about the werewolf in his bedroom and anyone and everyone associated with him.

Three days. That’s all he had to get through. Three days, two more nights, and he was free. Free to go live the rest of his life and not worry about the friends he thought he had or the people he thought had cared. He would be done, and this time, it would be for good. He wasn’t coming back here again. His dad could come to visit him in Cambridge. The rest of them…Stiles didn’t give a fuck what they did anymore.

Pausing in his search, he quickly read through the article and jotted down some notes. He wasn’t quite sure they were dealing with a tengu, but that’s the only thing that seemed to make sense right now. They had a large bird of prey in town, no doubt about that, but the kind with humanoid features and a cloak of magic to protect it. And how could summon crows to attack at will.

Maybe if they tricked the thing into giving up his cloak, they could defeat it, but how was the question. What could it possibly want and how could they convince it to take it from them in exchange for the cloak.

“Stiles—”

“Can’t you see I’m fucking busy, Derek? Go away!”

An irritated huff and then Stiles was being spun around in his chair, an angry looking werewolf staring down his nose at him. “Do not act like you don’t know why I said what I said to Peter. It’s beneath you, and beneath me.”

The thing is, he did know why Derek said what he said to Peter. He’d heard Peter’s crude comments, too. But that didn’t make it any less painful for him to hear the words Derek spoke in response. “Go away. I mean it, Derek. I’m not doing this with you.”

“I’m not leaving. So, you may as well talk to me now.”

He didn’t want to talk. He didn’t want to look at Derek and see the pity in his eyes or hear the empty platitudes in his words. Because some part of Derek, no matter how deep, meant what he said to Peter. Or thought he did, at least.

That’s what hurt Stiles. “I swear to God, if you don’t get out of my face in the next ten seconds—”

“You’ll what? Hit me? Go ahead. I can take it. I’m a werewolf, remember.”

Stiles narrowed his gaze. Looked from Derek’s daring green eyes to his slightly parted lips. Then he did the only thing he could think of, the only thing sure to make the werewolf turn around and run.

He kissed him. Right on the lips. And he didn’t stop even when Derek gasped in surprise. Oh no, He swept his tongue right into his mouth and played. Letting him feel every single ounce of his frustration in the kiss. Then, and only then, did he pull back, knowing that he’d done the one thing Derek hadn’t expected.

When Derek opened his eyes, his pupils were blown wide. Startled in a way Stiles didn’t think he’d ever seen then. And hurt. It swirled in the depths of his gaze like molten brandy, swimming from side to side as if tormented by the kiss, by Stiles.

Join the fucking club, Derek. Join the fucking club.

Stiles didn’t wait for Derek to say anything. He simply pushed his large hands off his desk chair and turned around again. Seconds, maybe minutes, went by, but Derek didn’t speak again, and when Stiles finally turned his computer off an hour later, his room was empty, and his window was shut.

Exactly like he wanted. Even if it hurt like hell to know Derek had run from him.

For the second time that night.

SEND ME A SHIP AND A NUMBER

[softausterity]

i'm drawing right now but i need to sumigoro parallels post because ghrngfhgrbh!!!!

long ass post and full p5r spoilers. you know how it is

THING ONE: LOCALIZATION BAD

i have mixed thoughts about the choice to add more cognitive characters in p5r but it is good because it very clearly displays some things about like, how people are perceived. right? like cognitive haru sucks for other reasons but it's a good display that her father does not understand her. she's a robot mindlessly following his orders, very literally. same thing with kamoshida and madarame and everyone else. and it's very easy to look at cognitive haru next to cognitive akechi and go "these two act exactly the same" but with one major difference:

that's goro akechi! correct dominant hand and everything! yusuke, who you can also draw easy comparisons to, is Literally A Fucking Painting to madarame. and that right there is Just Akechi.

i'm going to go into the localization because they beefed it up real bad here which is a personal insult to me. everything taken straight from this pastebin i have had bookmarked for like 2 years so i have no idea where i got it from originally.

the 'puppet' bit starts with the line "I was wondering how he'd protect himself if I used my power to tear though his Palace. Turns out you're how. So he's making a puppet kill me… Sounds like something he'd do." in japanese, the second bit of this line is "お前がその係…同じ顔した人形に殺させるって訳だ。…あの男らしい" which our pastebin translates as "You're in charge of that… in other words, I'd be killed by a puppet with the same face as me. …That's just like him."

the notable thing here is that akechi identifies the cognitive double as "A puppet with the same face as (him)" at the start of the interaction. what he's getting at here, with the "that's just like (shido)" is that he's saying "Shido still thinks i'm just some puppet he can order around to do whatever he wants!"

and cognitive akechi responds to that: "Aren't you, though?"

the localisation has completely lost this thread by this point and will continue to completely ignore it despite the fact this is the resolution to akechi's entire character in vanilla P5 no i'm not mad about it - "That's right. I'll do anything. But look at yourself… you're the true puppet." which is just "uhhh no you lol" - the pastebin translation is "That's right, I'm a puppet. I'll do anything. But if I'm a puppet… then the true puppet is you, isn't it?" ("そうとも、オレは人形さ。何だってする。 けどオレが人形なら…ほんとの人形は、お前だろ。")

like. cognitive akechi IS akechi. shido thinks that he can tell akechi to do whatever and he'll do it, and he's right. the entire time, akechi's big plan has been "i'll trick him into thinking i'm co-operating with his plan by co-operating with his plan, and then once he's the prime minister of japan, i'll tell him i was his son the whole time, and he'll be sooooo owned! that'll totally get his ass and I'll Win!" (preemptively addressing a common misconception: he was not going to kill shido. he never says he is going to kill shido. the exact phrase he uses is "living hell.") akechi is the puppet.

and then after the PTs have the heart to heart with akechi and he makes the decision to disobey shido & sacrifice himself for them, his final line in english is: "So, my final opponent is a puppet version of myself…"

which is Nothing. in japanese, it's:

"My final opponent is the puppet I used to be, huh…" ("最後の相手が『人形だった俺自身』か…")

which is EVERYTHING. he changed! he throws away both his life and everything he was working towards to have one real moment of free will!!! that's His Real Actual Death without maruki, and with him it shows why akechi is so fucking horrified at everything that's happening.

anyway, this post was also about sumire.

there she is :)

maruki thinks about sumire as some waifish wilting flower who needs kasumi to do everything and is so consumed by grief that she can't do anything on her own, and it looks like he's right!

pulling out the dogmeta again:

sumire is that weak and helpless when we first meet her, because maruki isn't giving her the tools to help herself and grow. you know, like a therapist? he's making her Feel Better in a way that does not address the problem and will instantly explode and ruin her life again if he's ever removed from the situation. sumire cannot get better because the person who's supposed to be helping her get better doesn't believe she can get better.

akechi and sumire are both completely reliant on Shitty Father Figure who have correctly identified them as useless on their own, akechi changes when he realises he's being controlled, sumire changes when she realises she doesn't need to be controlled.

THING TWO: LOCALIZATION STILL BAD

so you know the part in the sumi boss fight where maruki tentacle-crucifies sumire and makes her persona freak out and then he's like "waaah how horrible you have to save her amamiya-kun!!!" because he's the good guy?

the first thing akechi says is "Tch, it's gone totally berserk..." and in japanese the word he uses here is "暴走" now, berserk is a completely accurate translation of this! but the word comes up a couple other times earlier in the game, you may have spotted it, and it's translated there as.. "(making someone go) psychotic" and by a couple other times i mean every single reference to akechi's powers except weirdly one time with this random old couple in the very beginning of the game.

so akechi and sumire both have a second phase in your boss fight with them where they 'go berserk/psychotic'! just that maruki's making sumire do it a little more noticeably than shido is with akechi.

i'm normal.

[zoroara]

Okay you know what I wanna share another type of interaction analysis, I did this yesterday but got nervous. Anyway It's about Squalo's loyalty and then lead into just noting the reactions of Squalo being harmed by Xanxus, when and why they happen. This is how my rambling works Idk why, though the first half is definitely more interpretation the part where I get into the harming is more direct analysis. Short note: It's actually used really sparingly only really once an arc but at specific key moments. but the longer one will be below.

Squalo's intense loyalty is just an inherent trait to squalo I think it's very interesting to make it sheer willpower and drive that Squalo does most of his things, he's shown to be incredibly motivated to anything he puts his time into, to an overzealous degree. I really do think he was simply Impressed by Xanxus' ambition, strength as well as his wrath as Squalo himself claims, and wanted to see where it would go, as it presented many opportunities to improve himself further which it kind of has. He's also eternally focused on many causes, such as wanting Yamamoto to be at his best so they can fight again and he can win. He literally hates being in the same room as Yamamoto, gets pissed off at Yamamoto's light treatment of something he devoted his life to, yet just for his goals he spent an entire week alone in the forest with the kid JUST to make sure he could be ready to fight Genkishi again and take back that loss. Not only that shown to be loyal to the vongola, protecting them twice in future arc, trying to stop shimon, so on, he's an very intense and despicable man, but the things he chooses to be important to him are what he will devote himself to, no matter the cost to himself It's more to me that Squalo is willing to suffer through things to get what he wants one way, or another. So Squalo allowing Xanxus to take the leader spot isn't an act of submission to Xanxus. But he saw it beneficial to what his own wants were. it should be noted the fact that Squalo only ever really takes being harmed in the present but when then that's only because the scene moves far too much for him to stay focused and mad at Xanxus usually be interrupted by things by everyone literally having to haul ass somewhere, and when given the chance to do so in the future he has to be held back by Luss. The man is READY to at least give Xanxus what for, just more important things prevent him to doing such because unlike a good amount of other varia members, he very much focuses on what objective is most important at the moment.

Squalo's VERY first instance of being harmed is when he failed with the rings, and it's immediately "okay we need to move fucking NOW", It's not that squalo just accepts it, he just needs to move right away. plus this one specifically Squalo realizes that he failed, so of course he's a little more stunned than he usually is when it happens. he didn't KNOW and has to process he was also TRICKED.

The next, is the whiskey scene, however, in the manga it cuts off before we see any resolution, clearly more of an egg on, and we do not know Squalo's reaction after this, and honestly I would not be surprised if he kicked the shit out of xanxus. But also in this scene, both times in Varia arc Xanxus does have a clear reason for his actions. One was punishment for failure, and one was because Squalo was literally insulting him and what he was doing.

This was however changed to Squalo leaving the scene in the anime, leaving a different feel to this. Which is honestly a really good way to show how a small change can lead to a very different feeling in a scene. Because the anime version makes it seem like Squalo accepts this treatment. In the manga by having it hold on both of their eyes, the tenseness never relieves itself and makes it seem like they are prepared to clash instead. Emphasizing the next thing Dino said.

The ONLY time Squalo has time to react to this and isn't in the middle of something, is only in future that we get to see the after in the manga, and then there's someone to actually hold him back. which feels more consistent to the manga version of after the alcohol gets thrown at him. and he's ready to beat the shit out of xanxus(maybe he learned after the previous time not to throw shit at Squalo while they're alone.)

then, the last and final example, he is once again distracted because this happens in the middle of the hibari/fon fight in rainbow so he needs to focus immediately after it happens, with Mammon's little petty complaints against fon(A majority of panels being flashback panels so it feels like it takes longer) only in the middle of these two things in real time.

It's used very sparingly, usually when the viewer least expects it for emphasis which is why it sticks out so much in our minds. But not only that, there's usually some things that influence Xanxus' when and why for doing this.

As already stated, the TIMES Xanxus actually does this are usually chosen in the sense that a good 90% of the time, Squalo actually has his hands tied and can't retaliate at all, either by virture of other people being there, OR by virtue of something far more important happening there was only ONE time where it was just them But one of the most consistent reasons is that Xanxus is doing this to literally knock him down a peg(and then it doesn't work) it's not a good reason but it's still notable as a reason.

First one he's literally saying he deserves a reward for his work(without knowing he failed). Second he was telling Xanxus this was a waste of time and that he was going to win. Third he was asking if the vongola kids manages to survive and saying how they would have to help them. Fourth he literally was talking shit to hibari and Fon on how easy to beat them it would be. Xanxus is narratively used to bite down when Squalo's pride goes too far. But Squalo FAR from accepts this treatment.

Additionally, if you're choosing to count gags and such, Squalo isn't actually the only target to it. There are ones where they complain that Xanxus does this with all of them and he even blows up the whole castle because they were all annoying him. So when it comes to jokes there's more of an equality about it, just Xanxus is generally violent. Though! Even then I've noticed that he's only explicitly that violent when it won't backfire against him in non-gag scenarios. His rage is a little more tempered when you look at him, it's just when he knows it's not going to be an issue it's at 100. Xanxus is a lot more logical than even I initially realized but that's a different post.

[magical-girl-coral]

Wyll quest rewrite attempt number 39, take one, featuring a blank tav for self insert reasons.

(spoilers for act 3)

As the party crossed Wyrm's rock, a hellish figure waited for them near the entrance to the lower city. The smell of sulfur was familiar, and yet that was where the familiarity ended. [Tav] prepared their weapon in case it's a new enemy they have to put down. The rest of them followed suite.

Karlach's eyes widen in shock when the figure finally came in full view. A yellow cambion with blue eyes. She signaled her friends to lower their weapons.

"Flo!" She yelled out. "What the fuck are you doing here?"

"What? Is it that odd to visit an old friend after they've been away for so long?" Flo asked back, as if this greeting was the epitome of normalcy. "Honestly, you'd think the living world would have better manners than this."

Karlach's expression didn't move an inch. "Cut the crap, Flo. Just tell us what you're here for or fuck off."

Flo huffed in mock annoyance. "And here I thought we could at least have lunch first. Very well." She turned to face the rest of the party. "Mizora is going to kill Ulder Ravengard within the next three days. Whatever he is taken to has him sealed shut enough to keep even the hells at bay, so I'd say you better hurry up."

Wyll eyes widen in terror. "What?" He readied his rapier. "Explain yourself, devil, now!"

Flo grinned. This was obviously the reaction she was hoping for. "You heard me, loves. Mizora is going to kill the grand duke of Baldur's Gate right under everyone's noses. Quite the spectacle if you ask me. Here I thought she knew better than that."

[Tav] couldn't wrap their head around the logic of this decision. It feels so... chaotic, rather the usual lawfulness that devils exude. "But why? What does she get out of this? Wouldn't it be more useful for him to live?"

Flo threw her head back and laughed like a mad hyena. "That's the best part! She fucked up so badly that Zariel has begun to lose interest in her, so now she has to get her hands dirty for the first time in forever."

When she faced the party again, her teeth pierced her smile. "You see, Mizora was originally supposed to just destroy the cult of the dragon seven years ago under boss' orders, but after meeting little baby Wyll Ravengard, she had the brilliant idea of going against Zariel's orders and trick the poor lad into selling his soul to her to "Save" his precious home." She turned to acknowledge Wyll. "The sending stone for an eye was a nice touch though. I'll give her that much."

Wyll just stood there, completely lost to the world, his rapier slowly slipping from his hand. "You... You mean...I.. I never... I never had to..." His breathing was getting worst with every word he choked out. Lae'zel stood closer to him in case he collapsed.

Flo grinned like a shark. "Nope! Fucking none of that was needed! Mizora had just assumed that if she had the son of the duke under her claw, she could slowly influence Baldur's Gate into selling more souls for herself in Zariel's name. Unfortunately, daddy dearest didn't approve of son's new friend, and banished both of them from his beloved home. And now Mizora is trying to fix that mistake by killing Ulder to pressure little Wyll into a new contract. Would have been brilliant if she wasn't so stupid to begin with.

[Tav] was somehow even more confused then they were before. "Why didn't Mizora allow Wyll to tell Ulder how he sold his soul to save Baldur's Gate? Wouldn't have that helped them both stay?"

Crackling like a rabid dog, Flo continued. "Because Mizora herself couldn't say a word about the event. The cult came into power thanks to Zariel not noticing who was selling their soul to her, and wanted to clean up this mess she made without anyone ever knowing she had a hand in it through fucking up her paperwork. Thanks to that, Mizora couldn't speak a word of the cult to anyone, and since Wyll was her little pet, she decided he should share her suffering to avoid a little tongue slip and igniting Zariel's wrath. We were only allowed to speak of this incident a year after it was done, but of course Mizzie just had to leash her favorite a little harder than she needed to. What a beautiful wreck of a conclusion."

Wyll was fully leaning on Lae'zel by the time the story was done, too numb to the world to feel his limps around him with erratic breathing making it all worse. Karlach shielded him from her 'friend'. "That's enough, Flo. You've had your fun, now beat it before I beat you."

Flo hummed. "So be it. This will keep me entertained for days anyway. Tata for now!"

With a mocking wave of a hand, Flo returned to the hells, living only ashes and the stench of Avernus behind her.

Wyll had collapsed on the ground, Lae'zel catching him just in time. [Tav] turned their head in worry. "Shit, Wyll!"

They knelt by his side, bringing cold water to his lips. "Stay with me, alright? We have three days to find your father. We got time."

"That's not it," Wyll wheezed out, "That's not it at all. My home. I've been away for seven years. For nothing. It was going to be saved. She was going to save it. I didn't have to lose my eye. I didn't have to be alone. She took it all from me. Everything. That..That..."

"That cunt," Astarion finished for him. It was hard to tell if he did it out of sympathy, or just as a good excuse to curse someone out to the wind.

Wyll chugged the clown water and gingerly rose to his feet. "I think I need to get back to camp. Or an inn. Just, somewhere to be alone. Get my thoughts in order. Maybe throw up. I don't feel like I know anything anymore."

Shadowheart slung Wyll's arm around her shoulder. "I heard there's a tavern close by called the Elfsong. We can camp there for the evening."

The party had continued forward, with Wyll walking right in the middle of it, being protected from all sides in case another unwanted surprise pops up. [Tav] was in the front with Karlach, a few more questions on the tip of their tongue.

"Why would Flo spill all of Mizora's plans to us? Do you think they have another motivation?"

"Don't worry your little head about," Karlach answered. "Flo is only here for a good time. It's just that her good time usually involves someone else having a shit day from hell. I can see why she did it; if we fail, Wyll will be miserable from not being to save his dad. If we succeed, Mizora will be seen as a fool at best and a useless vessel at worst. Either way, Flo will have her fun."

[Tav] grimaced. "If this was the best company you could find in Avernus, I don't even want to think about the rest of it."

Karlach snorted. "Trust me, you really don't"

_____________________________________________________________

A few notes:

1). Flo's color choices was to balance out the cambion color pallets. Raphael has red skin and yellow eyes, Mizora has blue skin and red eyes, so Flo has yellow skin and blue eyes.

2). If the party find the iron throne before the the day limit is up, Mizora appears just as they enter it, finding it thanks to Wyll's stone eye. If the party misses the three day mark, Ulder is dead with his soul taken to the hells, so the usual resurrection scroll or revival wouldn't work.

3). The new contract goes like this: Ulder's soul has been claimed by the hells after he was trapped in Avernus along with the city of Elturel. Wyll's new choice is between sending his soul or his father's into enteral damnation.

4). I mostly wrote this out of annoyance when I found out Ulder dies if we go to the iron throne before meeting Mizora at act 3. It's so fucking dumb. Just kill the man before you do your dramatic entrance, you dumb bitch. You'd think her horns pierced her brains with how she thinks.

[cloud-somersault]

For that ask game:

I'd ask about 12, but half of that has already been answered, and the other half is definitely a spoiler. So!

How about 17, 20 and 27 :3

Aw, we can go ahead and talk about it!

Do they have many heated arguments? How do they smooth things over?

They sure do have heated arguments and how they smooth things over depends on what they argued about! Sometimes, after an argument, all that's needed is a little affection and a quick apology. If it's like...an everyday kinda...mild annoyance.

But for bigger things, they need to talk. How soon after the fight do they talk? Depends on how mad they got. Could take days, weeks, months, years. They're so fucking petty, they'd be upset for years, but they'd give in to reconciling because they don't like being apart and they want kisses so...(especially Wukong)

Macaque would probably be the one to initiate the conversation most times because he likes being on the same page and also clarity. But! He would and will definitely tell Wukong when he's in the wrong and when he's being stupid.

But that's something Wukong appreciates, lowkey. Macaque will always be honest with him. He will not be intimidated into silence or feel pressured by Wukong's status or titles to act a certain way. Macaque will always give it to him straight, and Wukong knows he needs someone like that by his side.

So, yeah, they'd talk. Sometimes, that leads to even more arguments. Sometimes, it leads to a lot of kissing (and more). Sometimes, it leads to the silent treatment and passive aggressiveness. It just depends! Pick your poison LMFAO

Who’s more likely to pull the other in by the waist and kiss them passionately?

Wukong! Though he's shorter (I'll die on this hill) he has no problem pulling Macaque closer and kissing him silly. He does this regularly. He does this all the time. He will always do this forever and always.

But Macaque loves it. He plays like he doesn't, but he loves it. The only way you can tell is if you watch his tail! (Macaque only wags it in specific situations. It takes a lot for him to wag his tail.)

Macaque, I feel, does this from time to time as well. He appears from the shadows and steals kisses all the time. He likes scaring the shit outta Wukong and then slinking back into the darkness with a smirk. But, now that Wukong has Macaque's magic in his chest, he's able to sense when Macaque's about to pull one of his tricks.

So now, Wukong catches Macaque mid-teleport and brings him in for a kiss. And he smiles and goes, "Gotcha!" And Macaque swoons a little bit, because he sure did "get got"

Already asnwered 20. Soooo

Who is the light weight that needs to be taken care of after a party?

Wukong. LMFAO. He's a lightweight and everyone on that mountain knows it. If there's alcohol involved, Macaque knows what he's gonna have to do at the end of the night. He scoops Wukong up in his arms and teleports them home and looks after him. He soothes the headaches away, chases away nightmares, and heals Wukong so he won't have a hangover in the morning.

And the entire time, Wukong is a silly goober, asking for kisses and telling Macaque how pretty he is. How his fur is the perfect color and how warm he is. And Macaque is all, "Uh huh. Yeah. Sure." And Wukong just keeps going. Over and over, all night until they're both in bed.

And then he snuggles close and whispers sweet something's in Macaque's ear, and Macaque starts to blush exasperatingly. But eventually they both fall asleep, and Macaque is holding Wukong extra tight💕

For Macaque to get drunk, it takes A LOT of alcohol. But when he does get drunk, Wukong flies them back home on his cloud. Macaque is an emotional drunk, so he'll be fine and spouting information about magic or whatever one second, the next he teleports away and is a sobbing mess. Then he'll get angry at Wukong for killing him and teleport away again. Then he's back and leaning his head on Wukong's shoulder.

Macaque' magic also gets a little wacky, so random things are teleported all over the place. Macaque falls halfway into portals and then just. sits there. He'll go over to a wall and shove his head in a portal while he sobs his eyes out. It's not a pretty picture. Wukong has his hands full whenever Macaque gets drunk.

[vvatchword]

In Which I Get Zooted (and Talk about Paradise Lost for some reason)

Part 2 (View Reblogs for Flavor) ->

I am reading Paradise Lost again. Jesus christ it is so good. The first time I read it I had to get used to Ye Olde Englifh Poetic Conventionf and didn’t do very well. Fortunately, I read lots of early modern English in the distant past—it’s like a language I’ve mostly forgotten. That means that repeated exposure has reopened the prose to me. Eventually, I’m going to have to pick up a book about John Milton himself, because there are definitely some alien theological and historical points whizzing right over my head.

I don’t know what it is about Paradise Lost. Reading Dante was painful outside the Hell part… Bunyan’s Pilgrim’s Progress makes me want to kick him in the pants. or die (Dante’s cuntiness goes a long way, that said)

But like every time Milton writes a Satan speech you just wanna do a fistpump. Just the most conniving, fascinating character. Every other fucker in the “good” section pales by comparison. Hell—I’ll just say it: all of the devils are beautifully written. They feel like real people. Half of the time, you’re nodding along with them, and there’s a point where you have to kinda look over your shoulder at Milton, like… buddy do you have any idea what you are SAYING.

The way that everyone talks about Paradise Lost, you’d think the whole goddamn text was about Satan. It’s not. Three of the ten books focus on Satan. All the others are about the war in heaven, Adam and Eve, or the Fall. Look here: if all we had were the books about Adam and Eve and God’s tried-and-true, this would still be great literature, but it’s greater because the stilted, proper characters clash against what are supposed to be our villains. We are literally being forced to ask the question: WHY do the devil and his minions sound like the people we’d rather know? If Milton’s God were real, I’d be straight-up scared of him, okay. I’d be in the “shit shit shit I hope he doesn’t see or think of me ever” camp.

Fun fact about Paradise Lost: people got mad at it for presenting the devil so well. They assumed that Milton was pro-devil somehow. This is because people have been bad readers since the beginning of time.

Milton is not pro-devil. He’s fallen into the problem that everyone has with writing God, which is: we have to explain why life, an extremely chaotic dumpster fire, is actually according to Divine Plan by a Big Guy Who Loves You! (Really!), but the more you try to explain the Plan the more you have to explain why God isn’t doing X or Y, until finally you have so many asterisks that essentially your religion is *teleports behind you*

So not only can no one read, no one can admit the real problem: how fucking shitty god and the angels are by comparison, and how they are, by all rights, being written correctly.

See, how ELSE could Milton have written God et al, that’s really the question. He does his best, and he’s very, very good at it. Look, I’ve read a LOT of religious texts over my life—and across the board, God is represented this way. CS Lewis wrote some wildly enjoyable fiction, but every time Jesus or God has to show up without the handy-dandy Aslan mask, everything stutters to a halt.

There are even points in the story where Milton has to tell you why what a devil is suggesting is sinful. For example, here’s the devil Belial giving his suggestions for how to deal with God now that all the devils are in Hell. So far, he has suggested not acting at all: God’s power is not only great in strength, it is great in cunning. He cannot be tricked; he cannot be beaten. So why not just wait it out? Don’t poke the tiger. Maybe the tiger will show mercy someday, if the devils don’t get used to the pain eventually:

“This horror will grow mild, this darkness light, Besides what hope the never-ending flight Of future days may bring, what chance, what change Worth waiting, since our present lot appears For happy though but ill, for ill not worst, If we procure not to ourselves more woe.”

Uniquely among the other devils—Moloch, Mammon, Beelzebub, and Satan all speak in this Book—Belial gets an addendum.

Thus Belial with words cloth’d in reason’s garb Counsel’d ignoble ease, and peaceful sloth, Not peace.

I can just imagine Milton reading it out loud to a friend and then that friend saying, “Hey, that Belial guy has the right idea!” and it’s like the tenth time that Milton has read this to someone only for them to look at him like, “Yeah, why not?” so Milton grumpily flops down at his rustic table with a quill and he’s grumbling about how everyone is a fucking idiot since he most clearly counsel’d IGNOBLE ease, and peaceful SLOTH, not PEACE, fuck thee, Thomas, thou slipshod bastard

In sharp contrast to Belial, Moloch—the first speaker—suggested fighting God until he just erased the devils from existence. Which is, you know, a mood.

It’s like the only way that you can represent god in fiction is as a one-dimensional cardboard cutout. The religious are terrified of judgment even while writing him and every time he shows up he’s boring and constipated. Of course we like the devil better: he’s more likely to give us a fair shake. God would fucking crush you like a beetle in slow-motion, ensuring you felt every pang, and he’d talk about how great he was the entire time he did it, and how he loves you, actually. Oh he loves you so much. There went your liver! Juiced. with love

So well are the devils written—so sensible, so motivated, so grounded—that the final devil to speak comes out of left field. Let me set the stage:

So far we had Moloch—future child-eater—suggest eternal war, with the aim of dissolution; Belial, who’s just like, why not chill and let the future bring what it may; and Mammon, who expands on that with “let’s actively seek ways to enjoy ourselves, altering everything around us until we form a world that meets our needs.” All of these devils focus on the pain of Hell, the loss of “bliss” (which I’m assuming is meant to imply both feeling and place: painlessness and Heaven, specifically), and the disgusting idea of returning to God, who they abhor.

Beelzebub brings up the idea of finding Earth, one tiny little planet that God made with a special creature called Man, and fucking around with it.

I had gotten so into the devils’ speeches—I was very zooted—that I had to do a double-take and then run back to re-read them.

“Bub, baby,” Belial should have said, “what the actual fuck are you talking about.”

Perhaps this is only me, but I couldn’t help but think of the vastness of creation, and the absolutely miniscule goal that the devils chose for themselves. The devils fell for nine whole days and nights, and Earth supposedly lies past dangerous voids and environments past understanding. It’s a big step down: go from fucking with the Creator to the Created, and not just any Created: some dumb human babies.

It’s the first break with the devils’ characters, and it doesn’t make a lot of sense.

to be CONTINUED.....

[threeeyesslitthroat]

Critiques on PJO Show, Summarized as succinctly as possible.

Disclaimer: feel free to come at me if you disagree.

EPISODE ONE... was mostly fine, did a good job making me realize how fucking scary the concept of the Mist actually is, dulled down Gabe Ugliano way down, did something cute with Mythomagic, made a benign and weird decision to insinuate that Percy was considered to be schizophrenic alongside diagnosed ADHD and Dyslexia, skipped out on his previous wacky and unsettling adventures (destroyed a school bus, almost drowned his classmates in a shark tank in the aquarium, accidently) and had a great fight with the Minotaur(the tighty whitey's were stupid tho.) Unfortunately, Episode one foreshadowed that the show was way to into killing tension and not letting it build.

EPISODE TWO...was also fine. Was personally disappointed that Dionysus did not threaten Percy by making him see visions of men going mad and being strangled with vines, but that is 2000% my disappointment, not on the show, (tho I could make the argument why its on the show as a n adaptation.) the introduction of Luke and Annabeth and Clarisse was great. the Camp Half blood set could've been cooler but they'll build on it, (I hope) I'm not particularly disappointed by the removing the tension in the camp while he was staying there or that no one took a knee when he was claimed. Tho I would have appreciated it greatly if the show had nailed the "Oh Fuck" reaction when Percy did get claimed. unfortunately, we spend only one episode that gives a rough summary of what it was like to actually be there.

*unfortunately we really only get The Lightning Thief and The Sea of Monsters to really introduce and get the reader to settle into Camp Halfblood, which means that one season got bungled already

EPISODE THREE...Started to show a few more cracks but was mostly fine. we didnt get to see the bus blow up properly, but okay, they're off the bus now. its cool. Thalia got name dropped. The Show destroyed any and all tension with the team having encountered Medusa's lair by not even letting them slowly figure out just what they walked into. Frankly, this is where I get a little angry, because Riordan wrote one fucking factor built in that wouldn't have allowed our main trio from discovering Medusa immediately. The FUCKING MIST. IT works on Demigods. Our main characters could have been tricked, but apparently Annabeth is too smart. Motherfucker anyone who has read a fucking picture book of greek mythology would know who Medusa is and what her modus operandi is OH I wonder What all these realistic concrete statues of people and MONsters AND NYmphs SIGNIFY YOU FUCKER-

but yeah whatever. Other than that one legitimate critique that I would defend in court this episode was fine, wasn't that impressed with the depiction of Medusa but whatever, great job everyone, I got One reason to fist fight Riordan now.

EPISODE FOUR.....…. Made Me So FUCKING ANGRY LIKE TYOU WOULDNT BELIEVE-

Did it do anything good? St Louis Arch being a modern day Temple was cool. AS an IDEA. Execution was piss bad. ill explain in two seconds. Annabeth and Grover trying to cure Percy with the splish splash was cute. Percy tricking Annabeth was great. Teaching younger viewers that all cops are cunts was awesome. Scobell's underwater acting was cool

Episode Four's list of Crimes are: Disrespecting Thalia Grace before she even has been properly introduced to the audience. Was insulting. don't do it again. Annabeth's understanding of her own mom was sketchy when I first watched it but I was going to let it slide and move on if it wasn't for the bullshit after. The whole conversation with Echidna was a big waste of my fucking time. Fuck all of you. The grand escape from Echidna and her unrevealed creature withering down to our trio WALKING FUCKING WALKING- I hate all of you. The Design of the Chimera. Fuck everyone and everything that is not the fucking Chimera.

Athena being depicted as someone who would punish her own daughter for shit she didn't even do^3 (Percy signed the fucking box, Annabeth isn't the fucking leader of the quest, Athena is the goddess of wisdom, this trio is the best chance of preventing war, its outright stupid to make them die) and withdrawing her protection to let her demigod daughter die...Riordan I'm beating your ass for three rounds. I will drag your ass out of your bed and beat your ass in your own drive way.

Why does this shit make me so mad, You Aren't Asking? I'm glad your not. Not even in Greek Mythology itself is it even the gods MO to make an effort for their Kids to die. if they got killed fair game but to withdraw protection, they didn't fucking do that. Also, if Riordan had wrote this out in any of his novels the story would have been wrenched hard at the really intense repercussions of a god engineering for their child TO DIE.

oh yeah the whole just breathe thing...yeah its fine. not that cool but it was fine.

EPISODE FIVE...yeah it was fine. I wasn't looking forward to the whole Tunnel o' love thing because I didn't particularly enjoy it in the novel but I was pleasantly surprised. the lack of Spiders was okay. the depiction of Ares was okay. I enjoyed the actor. but I do like how Grover faced Ares off cause that shit was really great. Annabeth's rant to Hephaestus doesn't really check out and I'm expecting Hephaestus to call in that favor later. The whole golden chair thing was pretty good, felt like something out of the Heroes of Olympus tbh, except the constant sacrificing is starting to get a little grating. yeah, we know. Its Percabeth. Have some class.

oh yeah, the whole Annabeth's seeing the fates thing …fuck off, its not supposed to be her moment if they did that they better go through with it too because if their going to take Percy and Luke's thing and giving it to Annabeth then these writers better do something with it.

EPISODE SIX...it was okay but kinda boring. I honestly figured that there wasn't going to be a substantial Nico Di Angelo cameo anyway. Annabeth using a prism instead of water was cool. Luke's "old married couple" comment was idiotic. them knowing how the Lotus Casino works is another prime example of the show not letting tension or discovery happen. everybody has to be too smart for simple tricks despite the fact that the simplest tricks are the most effective sometimes. Meeting with Hermes is fine but my main critique here is that they're introducing Luke's shit way too fucking early. Like, if they do this they better go through with this shit i swear to fuck-

The driving was funny.

The Deadline having already passed was a big fucking waste of everyone's fucking time How is that Riordan wrote at Least TEN FUCKING BOOKS USING THE DEADLINE AS AN ESSENTIAL NARRATIVE DEVICE AND SOMEHOW DECIDED TO JUST PISS ALL OVER THIS SIMPLE ASS CONCEPT OVER MY FUCKING LAPTOP SCREEN ARE YOU SHITTING ME. Oh yeah and there were no consequences either. Like remember How it was strongly fucking implied that if Percy failed to return the lightning bolt Zeus was going to fucking kill Percy where he stood? No? like there were consequences to missing that fucking deadline. assholes.

EPISODE SEVEN almost made start swearing out loud in a library.

yeah the groves of Asphodel was an interesting concept for twenty seconds and then shat itself. the design of Cerberus was cute. loved it. The pit to Tartarus was cool. I am not angry that the Underworld did not fit the one I saw in my head because I understand that modern filmmaking is severely allergic to showing any sense of grand mass scale. okay, I'm capable of being gracious. Hades was charming and also a little funny. Poseidon and Sally's flashback scene I'm neutral about. it was done well. I sort of felt something. the actual discussion I have a bone to pick with.

I'm done being gracious. on to the crimes.

I'm in the camp that the Sally-Percy flashback intro was not great for Sally's character. adaptation wise. none adaptation wise? yeah sure the pursuit of parental realism was mediocre but fine. I said earlier that going the route of implying that people thought Percy had schizophrenia wasn't really the best and this is where the show bites itself in the ass. walking into Procrustes's trap already knowing Procrustes's trap was insulting and they didn't have the decency to let Percy do any decapitation. (honestly dude if they had let Percy get out the sword and cut that fucker's head off I would have forgiven this entire episode cause I was starving for action scenes at this point) Kicking Annabeth out for the rest of the episode is a crime but I cant decide if its because its boring or insulting or something else. wasting everyone's fucking time with the fourth pearl is a crime. whoever thought that Riordan was going to "gives a little shred of hope and then snatch it away" are you new here? like, did you just get here? because anyone who has Riordan's number at least subconsciously suspected this was going to be a waste of time.

Hades introduction was a massive fucking crime Adaptation wise. that's not my fucking Hades, I hate this adaptation.

none adaptation wise? a fucking let down for anyone that knows jack shit about mythology and an okay subversion of expectations for anybody that is completely ignorant.

the back and forth dialogue between the Two and Hades was cool tho.

EPSIODE EIGHT. yeah so I didn't know that we were only getting eight episodes total so I actually did have hope until i saw the up next on episode seven and then realized oh we were fucked all the way down. I'm not saying the lightning thief was like the Return of the King but it did have a quite have to wrap up a lot of shit one by one as one reads it.

Percy vs Ares was fine. by this point I didn't really hope for like, a great fight scene, so I'm happy with what we had. Oh yeah by this point I think I made peace with the fact that we weren't going to acknowledge the Nation Wide Man Hunt of Percy Jackson Plotline from the novel because apparently we weren't going to have fun on this show. that shot of Percy going for the deadly slice was great.

oh yeah this episode also confirmed that we weren't going to see any real consequences of missing the deadline anyway. oh sure, you hear about it but that not real effort on the shows part anyway.

Olympus looked nice. the aesthetic of the "throne Room" was kinda nice. rest in peace ceiling of stars you will be missed. ancient thrones was a decent touch. Poseidon and Zeus speaking greek brought joy to my heart. Luke and Percy's training being included at all brought a shred of hope to my asshole heart at this point. Luke's betrayal scene...okay at that point it just felt like we were wrapping all the important shit up. Percy calling Kronos Grandpa was funny. the goodbye between the trio was nice. the final monologue pumped me up a little bit.

Honestly I wanted Zeus to just kill Percy. kid. shut. the. fuck. up. shutupshut up shot the fuck up just kill him. I want you to do it. I want you to fucking kill this kid I'm serious. (live reaction) oh wow you wanted to set up Poseidon taking one for Percy how clever and not a cheap bit for the audience to instantly like Poseidon as the good godly dad instead of the affectionate ambiguity of pride shown in the novel that is maintained through out the novels (on e of the few fucking things that were maintained in those novels honestly). Having the reunion between Sally and Percy be interrupted was bad taste.

I miss the "Luke trying to fucking murder Percy" scene a little bit. Also Percy's line in defense of the gods was so asinine after the second, third, fourth, and fifth, and eight episodes going on and on about how much the gods suck. Annabeth being there is fine but its just one those things that could build towards something new and interesting in following seasons but I wouldn't be surprised if the showrunners don't do anything with that. "the gods

oh yeah, thank you for letting me watch Gabe kill himself instead of watching Sally murder the fucker. not like that was fucking important or anything.

honestly I don't think it would have saved the show that much but I think it would have helped the show a LOT if they had two more episodes, or at least two more episodes worth of time. personally I would put one extra episode for camp halfblood and one extra episode for the ending. at least so we can some immediate backstory of Luke failing his quest if we cant also have the Fucking FBI On Percy's Ass Plotline. (I miss you so much)

the nicest thing I can say about this show is that It makes me want to read the books more and that I need to go read some PJO fanfiction. maybe then I'll calm down. Maybe not.

anyway if any of ya'll wanna fight me on this rundown of succinct critiques I got plenty of free time. you know where the comment section is.

[maifromshowfall]

[VIDEO TRANSCRIPT BEGIN]

[File Name: "Act 1 End Of A Beginning"]

[A camera turns on from a table, showing two people one tied to a chair, the other knocked out tied to a different table. As someone begins speaking to the two individuals.]

Mai: Hi! I Can See Rose Is Still Asleep… That’s Kinda Sad But Y'know Whatever.

Mari: Hina! Shit and henry… Tell me they're both ok!

Mai: Yeah They Are Both Fine, I'll Be Honest I Don't Even Know Where They Are So.

Mari: Ok another question. Where the fuck am i?

Mai: You’re In The Mall Stupid! More Specifically, My Office. Isn't It Wonderful!

Mari: No! It's not wonderful, let me go!

Mai: You See Mari. I Can't Do That, If I Did I'd Probably Be Murdered… Like Right Now

[Mai spins the chair mari is in multiple times before putting a knife to mari's face.]

Mari: That asker was right…. he did fucking lie.

Mai: Wait. You Actually Thought This Was Happening On The 19th?

Mari: Yeah. I Didn't Think He Would Lie That Much..

Mai: Because He Doesn't Care. He Lied About Everything.

Mari: No… He wouldn't… He wouldn't…

Mai: But He Would. Just Like He Lied To Rose.

Mari: No! He's Better Than That!

[Mai begins laughing for 3 straight minutes as mari looks on in horror.]

Mai: Don't You Get It! He Lied. He Didn't Care About Keeping You Safe! Same With Rose, Edgar Is No Better Than Everyone Else In This World.

Mari: Shut up…

Mai: Just Admit I'm Right.

Mari: SHUT UP!

[Mari throws a piece of metal at mai's head, It misses and mai then throws the piece back at mari hitting them in the arm.]

Mai: If You Do That Again. I Will Gut You Like A Fucking Fish.

Mari: damnit…

Mai: Don't Be Mad At Your Own Stupidity, Not My Fault You Can't Throw.

[Mechanical noises can be heard as the other figure wakes up. At the same time another person walks in as mai turns on multiple monitors, every screen filled with the same image, Rose's gun backfiring. As the other figure plays a song recognized as "Spring and a storm" through a distorted speaker.]

🌹: Ť̸̜h̵̘̏é̴̺ ̷̞̅s̵̱̚k̶̯̽y̶͕̓ ̷͔̇ị̵̂s̶̹͠ ̴̘̌d̶̘̓e̶̤̎e̸̪͑p̷͖̚ ̴̘̒á̷͚ṉ̷̽d̶̗̚ ̵̳̏d̴̛̪a̸̹͋r̷̥̀k̷̳̿ ̸̞͠á̸̫n̶̙̈d̵̻̈́ ̴̫̈́è̷͔t̸̘͒ẽ̷̹ŕ̶ͅn̶̟͒ȧ̸̲l̵͈̊l̵̬̾ÿ̸͖́ ̵̨̽h̵̬͝ḭ̷͒g̸̼̅ĥ̶̹.̶̨̃ ̶͈̂M̶͕̓a̷̢͑n̸̯͗y̸̧̕ ̵̕͜p̶̼̅e̵̪̓o̸͈͘p��̼͌l̶̛̰ẹ̴̔ ̵͓͆ť̵͜h̶̪͝į̶̀n̶̲̈́k̶̺̈́ ̶̯͋t̵̢̍h̴̳̿a̵̠̿t̷͓͌'̸̦͒s̶͎̅ ̴͖̓w̵̺̏h̶͈̃e̸̜̚r̷̘̂e̷̪̾ ̴̘͋y̴̼̍o̸͔̍u̴̜̓ ̶̠͗ǧ̸̗ȯ̵̼ ̸̖̅w̴͈̚h̶͉͐e̴͋͜n̵̨̒ ̷̰͊y̴͍͗ŏ̸͉ṵ̸̒ ̵̡̈́d̴̥͝i̵͍͘e̷͍̾.̵̳͘.̵̹̈.̴̲̂ ̵̺̂d̶̟̔i̸̦̚e̶̦̚.̶͖͆.̶̜̀.̷̞́ ̶͚͝d̷̃͜i̷̜͝è̸̜.̵̼̒.̶̰͗.̸̡̊ ̶̡̑d̴͇̂ḯ̷͜ḙ̴̂.̸̳̿.̶̯͘

Mai: Ugh! Damnit

[As the word "die" continues to repeat, mai hits the figure in the head with a wrench.]

Mai: Shut Up.

Mari: Jesus christ…

Mai: Yeah It Took A Lot Of Wires To Patch This Up.

Mari: How Is She Even Alive.

Mai: Wires… You Fucking Idiot. Anyway We Got Off Topic.

Bluebird: What was the topic again?

Mai: Don't FUCKING INTERRUPT ME!

Mari: Wait don't-

[Mai walks over to the table with rose to untie her, afterwards snapping her fingers as rose wakes up again, slamming bluebird head first into a wall.]

Mari: WHAT THE FUCK!

Mai: Hm Didn't Think That Idiot Would Bleed That Much.

Mari: Is that kid… dead?

Mai: No… Ok Maybe But Besides If She Was, Someone Would Probably Just Bring Her Back.

[Rose returns to the table, the sound of distorted crying can be heard. As mai ties her back to the table.]

Mai: OK! As I Was Fucking Saying, Back On Topic!

[Mai grabs a voice changer out of her pocket, before talking into it]

Sarah?: Hey mari!

Mari: you tricked me...

Sarah?: Yep and it was pretty fucking easy

[Mai hits a button on the side as her voice changes again.]

Mari?: I can mimic you!

[Mai hits another button and the voice changes again]

Rose?: I can even mimic rose if i wanted!

[Mai puts the voice changer back in her pocket, as she moves back to where she was originally standing.]

Mari: Jesus christ...

Mai: Oh Trust Me. That Guy Won't Help You Here!

Mari: why do you have us here then?

Mai: That’s Simple… A Vote :)

Mari: what…

Mai: It Will Decide Who Lives A Happy Life Outside Of Showfall And Who Stays!

Mari: This has to be a joke…

Mai: NOPE! I Have The Buttons Right Here!

[Mai Grabs Two Buttons Off A Desk And Puts Them In Front Of The Two, Before Returning To Her Spot.]

Mai: Those Are For A Special Guest Though.

Mari: don't do this…

Mai: Don't Worry, You Idiot's Will Both… Or I Guess Someone Will Have To Speak For Rose, Will Get Your Last Words And The Chance To Say Why You Should Leave Here And Live Before Voting Opens.

Mari: please don't do this…

Mai: I'm Afraid It's Too Late For That.

Mari: JUST LET US BOTH LEAVE! PLEASE.

Mai: No Can Do Friend. I Put A Lot Into This Little Show, Which Means I Can't Stop Here.

[Mai begins to leave dragging the limp bleeding body of bluebird with her, before saying one last thing to mari.]

Mai: Oh Hey The Kid Is Alive, Anyway Good Luck! I'll See You Both At 4 PM For The Vote!

mari: damnit….

[END TRANSCRIPT]

[kyrodo]

What I despise most now is when someone reacts to a reaction to their own actions as if they had no part in it. For example Choskey telling me I could do something else while he's watching stuff, and then getting sour at me for actually doing something else instead of being there with him. That is a classic example, but more importantly it is a reminder of someone from my past who did the exact same thing.

Imagine being someone like me who tends to follow orders rather than direct himself. So you have this commander who tells you to do something. You do it. You do it exactly as instructed. And now that commander is mad at you. THAT is what I hate. Subtext or no subtext, those are the kinds of things that cause me to turn to things like malicious compliance. If you can't trust someone at their word, when do you ever get to? I am traumatized. I am damaged. I don't want to deal with people getting moody because the steps I took were per direction.

I had one person and their friends do that to me for an entire chapter of my life. Take ultronnie's example again. Telegram. Why did I find him on Telegram again?

Oh right because he fucking retweeted something telling me to message him on telegram.

I know the only purpose in that instance was one: to have yet another reason to go after me (looking him up on a messenger).

Two: Get me to click links for the hacking shit.

I took some time thinking about it before I messaged you. Cause it was clear you were telling me to message you but I was blocked. The fact that I was blocked is your defense for that one, but the fact that you did that at all was clearly to trick me so you could hurt me. From your side somebody on the internet is popping up between multiple twitter accounts and poking at you. That in itself is unsettling. They are clearly self-destructive, they keep favoriting/liking the most emo shit imaginable so they might hurt themselves. And they are obsessed with you. You are not happy with them. You want them gone. But you have a crush on them to, so you don't want them gone at the same time. So you keep tricking them. You keep leading them into doing whatever so you can keep stacking up reasons for you friends to come after me, even if you made me do it in the first place. Especially like our last interaction between me and luke.

I will be the first to admit I had my red flags. But I will never get deliberately get people to do things for me so I can point it out to people saying "oh look what this fucker did!" Like the fucking ploy shit that was directly preceded by you as a group harassing me to the fucking edge of the cliff, and then telling me to jump of that very cliff for your own amusement and for yet another thing to point out to everyone "oh look at this guy, look how shitty he is, look how predatory he is" when the reality is you gave me no fucking choice. There are so many fucking layers of bullshit stacked on bullshit and all of it is yours. All you wanted was something on record. All you wanted was a direct message so you have something more tangible to write me off with. And you spent a whole month harassing me in the comfort of my own home to do it.

And the worst part about it all is you got to know me. You got to know me as personally as you possibly could have against my will. And it didn't make any fucking difference. You had one goal. And you hit it. You got me to do one last fucking somersault for you before leaving me to die in a ditch. I am fucking pissed. You know who I am and it didn't make a difference. You watched me cry my fucking eyes out and what few bits of aftermath I saw showed you would have kept going.

This complete total lack of humanity I experienced I have never experienced from anyone else in my life. I have never seen someone go that far to hurt someone and act like they fucking enjoyed it afterwards until I met you. I remember seeing that pen on tsprinkles profile. I remember the fuck you on alshline's feed. You tore my heart to pieces and pissed on it and you were getting ready to do it all again. There is no such thing as too far for you. There is no such thing as they got what they deserved for you. You just want someone to hurt and torture for as long as you can get away with it. And those texts from edgelord? How fucking cruel can you get. When does it fucking end? Where the fuck is your damn conscience.

All this shit about gratitude, and rent, that's some of the most self-serving shit I've ever seen. I've never met anyone like you playing spelunky with someone trying to see how low they can fucking go. Playing with their emotions, playing with what they believe, what they think your telling them, playing with everything they can possibly think up so they can continue to hurt them unimpeded.

Labels can imply someone is abusive. But abuse does more than fucking imply. And your fucking there. I don't have to imply, I don't have to say you're into x y or z, you might be a fucked up person. Your straight up actions are fucked up. They are fucking heavy. And I'm still light as a fucking feather. I don't know how many times I have to remind the person with the gun how dangerous they are but here we are. Justice served by your hand is no justice at all.

You are a lesson in how cruel human beings can be and how little the reasons matter. As long as you don't like someone, rights are fucking optional.

[snwusberry]

warning(s): none

prev | masterlist | next

THIS IS FICTION AND DOESN'T DEPICT THE ACTUAL PEOPLE IRL

kaya's point of view

everyone is gone!

hayoon and yeonjun are out for some alone time, jongho is christmas shopping with miyoung, soobin is out with kai, i can't get a hold of taehyun, san is somewhere in america, mr and mrs choi are lord knows where, beomgyu went with them to run errands leaving me alone with my beautiful minji.

"what do i do if i don't have icing sugar?" i ask looking at the smiling baby who's sitting comfortably in her high chair.

out here acting as if she didn't just pour all her food all over the kitchen floor a mere 30 minutes ago. she's still so cute though so of course i can't be mad at her.

"normal sugar should do the trick right jiji?"

she mumbles in response, making a face while she's at it.

"no? yeah you're probably right... wanna go to the store to get some icing sugar?" i ask her as if she'll flat out say yes. "let's goooo. we're going to the store together hmm? a nice little aunt and niece outing."

i speak to her while getting our things ready so i can put her in her car seat.

"you ready?" i ask her looking back to check if she's alright and comfortable. she's just looking at me wide-eyed. "yeah let's go."

san's point of view

"welcome back from prison!" wooyoung shouts, immediately piercing through my ears.

i have a headache and this is not what i need right now.

"you're an ex convict, how do you feel my guy?" yeosang asks teasingly but i just return a scowl.

it was cold and dark in there... like literally, they had the air conditioner on the lowest temperature. its a torture mechanism, i'm telling you.

"who got you out?"

"beomgyu." seonghwa responds and yeosang and wooyoung look at each other.

"is he here?"

"as if, he sent the money talking about some 'don't spend it all in one place'. i was in jail, hello?"

"you're lucky that man is not pressing charges." seonghwa tells me, finally sitting down and getting comfortable.

"he threw the first punch!"

"and you fucked him up." yeosang says in the corner and i pause.

"i did, didn't i?"

"anyway, let's get to packing." seonghwa says, standing up again.

"what? why??"

"because beomgyu said we need to return asap once i've bailed you out."

but the ring... i can't leave without it.

"you guys go along. i need to find the ring."

"you need to get your ass home."

"okay but one more chance before we leave." i request from them and they return sceptical looks. "come on guys, he's my younger brother, what could he do to me?"

my phone rings and i check the caller id, screaming before throwing my phone across the room and wooyoung picks it up.

"beomgyu's calling."

for fucks sake.

we're back out, this time with a solid plan... i hope

"i'd like to press charges." i tell the officer who gives me a sideways look. he's not the one from earlier today...

"get the fuck out of here."

"i was put in a jail cell while that man got to walk away unscathed."

"walked away with a broken cheekbone and dislocated jaw." yeosang whispers behind me, leaving him and wooyoung to start giggling like little girls.

"what the pretty one at the back said."

seriously?

"i was defending myself. it's not my fault he picked a fight he couldn't win." i comment, making one of the two idiots clear their throat.

"not helping yourself bud."

if this goes according to plan, we can go get footage from last night amd possibly ask for footage from that night, a while ago. we just need wooyoung to work his magic.

"i can get proof."

"i'll be waiting."

"we need permission first." seonghwa walks in literally out of nowhere. like a-

"who might you be?"

"i'm his lawyer." he says and the officer nods.

hero

once we get a written warrant from the police, we walk out into the bright and sunny streets of las vagas.

"you do know this could actually go to court, right?"

"yeah. not a case i haven't won before, come on." seonghwa says confidently and walks ahead of us.

"that kind of confidence costed me a ring. stop walking so fast!" i yell following behind him.

the other two are still busy giggling behind us.

beomgyu's point of view

walking in the house and the first thing i see is kaya passed out on the couch and minji fast asleep in the portable crib. she must be tired. taking care of a 6 month old for half a day must have knocked her out.

and that, ladies and gentlemen is why we are not having kids.

my phone rings and there in big bold letters is written 'asswipe'

it's about time he called back, he didn't answer me earlier.

"yes, are you at the airport?" i ask him and all i hear is heavy breathing on the line. "hello?"

"so there's been a slight change of plans..." san finally says and i brace myself for whatever he has to say.

"what is it?"

"well first, thank you for bailing me out, it was a lot cheaper than i thought it would be so, you know, money won't be spent in the same place." he rambles.

"great so what's the change of plans?"

"we got security footage of the man who got the ring."

"i thought you were supposed to be at the airport by now."

"yes but we made progress. wooyoung really pulled through when we needed him the most."

"okay, but listen. christmas is in a week and a half alright? just please be home before then. amd forget about the ring, it's fine." i tell him, hanging up instantly because i am quite literally tired. going out is exhausting.

thank goodness it's nice and quiet so i cab maybe take a nice nap before everyone gets home.

"WE'RE HOME!!"

for fucks sake.

"whyyy??" i whine, turning around to soobin, jongho and miyoung who just walked in.

"funny, were done doing what we needed to so we came back." soobin comments walking past me and minji starts crying.

there goes my alone time.

i go and pick her up, rocking her so that she calms down.

"i wanna cry too minji." i say looking at her as she screams.

jongho and miyoung sneak past me thinking they're being slick.

"assholes." i say under my breath.