#and everyone else is some flavour of nonbinary

[powdermelonkeg]

First drawing of Crowdsourced Durge, aka Daggerroot. It's been AWHILE since I last picked up a tablet in proper, but I think this is a decent drawing to start with (also thank you to @too-many-blorbos for helping me with posing)

Details below the cut:

In-game appearance

Crowd-decided details:

I am romancing Gale

This is a Resisting Dark Urge playthrough

They're a middle-aged, nonbinary, deep gnome Way of Shadows monk

On top of their Durge skills (Intimidation/Medicine), they're also proficient in Insight and Stealth

Chaotic Neutral-Good Alignment: Impulsive, acts in the interest of friends only, can be easily persuaded to do the right thing by said friends, but seldom ever the wrong thing. Doesn't care what friends get up to unless it negatively impacts other friends. Strong sense of wanting to rectify past mistakes, but refuses to be told the "correct" way to do so. Thinks stealing from/killing/spiting evil characters is justified because "they deserved it."

Flaws: Blunt/has no filter, contrary for the sake of being contrary, weirdly prejudiced against elves (due to repressed Ketheric spite)

Good Qualities: Loves animals, unfailingly loyal, good at bartering and haggling

Quirks: Takes a trophy from each memorable kill, incredibly horny, will try anything (potions, strange food, licking the spider, Loviatar's blessing) at least once

Memory Loss Side Effects: Thinks everyone else has the Urge but Durge is just bad at controlling it, doesn't know cannibalism isn't normal, doesn't know what sex is

STR 9/DEX 17/CON 12/INT 10/WIS 12/CHA 15

Imposed rule: Short rest after every fight, and long rest when out of short rests

Additional fun facts:

Their name is Daggerroot. They picked their name as they were combing the beach for supplies, recognized a single sprig of it, and the lore around it came to mind: "Known as 'the executioner's garnish', this herb flourishes in blood-fed soil and has flavoured countless final meals." For some reason, the description brought them amusement. Both "Dagger" and "Root" are acceptable nicknames, though most people tend towards the former.

They're the group medic. This is why they're in charge. Because they have such a good medical knowledge due to struck out Dark Urge memories, they've assumed "surgeon" was their profession before being tadpoled. And, I mean, they're not wrong...

There's something just not-quite-right about them, visually. They LOOK a lot like a deep gnome, and to someone who doesn't know deep gnomes well, they are one. But to deep gnomes, they have a very uncanny valley effect to them.

Their dream guardian is identical to them. This is going to do LEAGUES for their trust in this person, with a fair share of existential crises on top of it. "If you're not what's causing the urges...that means I am. I'll listen to whatever you say, because you're clearly my better half."

Monk class backstory:

They killed their foster family as a young child before Sceleritas found them. Because they were out of control then, and now had the eyes of everyone in the Bhaal temple on them, they adopted monastic tendencies (gifted kid + fear)

That deep-seated fear of loss of control still persists in current form Durge (based on the canon origin monologue: "Injured beyond repair, I know nothing besides this: I must resist the Dark Urge, lest is consume my mind.") and leads to sticking with Monk as their class at the start of BG3

Bonus points, they gained admiration from peers in the temple for killing people bare-handed

[zappyjoan]

Bunk Bed Junction gender musings

In honour of Mayzuketober beginning... I'd like to talk about my interpretation of b2j's genders.... lets go

I always thought of them as being at least SOME flavour of gender-queer, or at least gender-non conforming. I remember talking about it to a good friend of mine, and she brought up the excellent point that punk rockers often were also gender abolitionists or genderqueer. Whether b2j are an actual punk band, I'm not very sure, but them going against strict gender boxes makes sense! After all, they aspire to break against the norm, against NSR and EDM, so like.... wouldn't they also challenge gender labels?

Mayday, I think, loves being all genders. She doesn't mind using all pronouns out there, maybe even neopronouns! She doesn't believe in simply being a woman and nothing more. She is a woman, and everything else! Be it man, both, neither, and every single xenogender, all is fair game! She prefers presenting femininely, but that doesn't mean she's always a girl, yknow?? She also loves presenting in all sorts of ways, and she also has her MASC moments.... the most gender person ever, i wish genderqueer people were real. In fact, I like to think she would identify as queer, period. I don't think she would wear binders or anything like that.... she wants her twins to be free......

As for Zuke, well... it's a little different. He feels the same way about his gender and how he feels about it, but is much more attached to labelling himself and presentation. He's the type that realized later in his life that, oh, not everyone feels like they aren't a man at all sometimes. He experimented with they/them and she/her at some point in college, but he went back to he/him and feels most comfortable with that (Nadia/Eve helped with that! She was very supportive). That doesn't mean he can't have girlswag... he's never worn feminine clothing until living with May, which was the time in his life where he REALLY began chilling out and worrying less about what others thought of him. He's still working up the courage to be more feminine, though. Maybe he's a cis guy who doesn't care about his appearance, maybe he's on the nonbinary spectrum, not even he knows. He's figuring it out.

This is partially based on the fact that in-game and promos, it's implied Zuke is the feminine one, and May the masculine, or at least the way they're written to subvert tropes (may being the leader, zuke following her around), right down to devs saying may wears the pants, and zuke wearing a woman's suit jacket. Obviously, it's just speculation on my end..... don't get it twisted!!!

Thank you for reading mwah mwah xoxo

[leo-rose-blog]

Intro Thing

About Me :)

Hi, my name is Lefty/Leo!

My pronouns are Bud/He/It, plus a bunch of other neos because of course there are

I'm Aroacespec & Some flavour of Sapphic (I think I'm gonna stick with Sapphillean for now), aka I love everyone in an inherently gay way, whilst also having fluctuating/idk it's weird attraction levels & types so yea

I'm transmasc & nonbinary with a shit ton of microlabels and what have you

I'm black, I'm 18, & I'm the host of an osdd system of 15 as well as a splitroject :")

I am a creature fucker at heart and I love love love writing. Not just writing for creatures but writing anything under the sun, save for a few topics that I can barely write cause it makes me either mad or sad or both

I take commissions & submissions so now that I'm gonna be posting some more I'll include my writing and whatnot >:)

Whenever I'm co-fronting with someone else I'll put a little microphone (🎤) next to it!

Do Not Interact

Terfs/Swerfs/Transphobes

Proshippers/Comshippers/MAPs/Pædos

Homophobic, Transphobic, Xenophobic, Islamophobic, etc.

Racist, Sexist, Ableist, Discrimination, etc.

These are the main few but I'll block if I need to!

Okay To Interact

Pretty much everyone else (in reason! Ask to interact if you're worried!)

Just don't be a dick and you're fine to interact!

Uhhh yeah that's that! :)

This last part is now gone because I'm just gonna use a second blog for all that so uh yeah :D

[qnewsau]

Queer Aussie musicians releasing out, proud & loud new music

New Post has been published on https://qnews.com.au/aussie-queer-musicians/

Queer Aussie musicians releasing out, proud & loud new music

From country to pop 2024 is a fantastic year for Aussie musicians who continue to drop proud, new music for all to enjoy.

Sure Pride Month saw Orville Peck and Kylie collaborate, but independent Aussie artists are knocking it out of the park releasing unique, out-and-proud music celebrating their sound and identities.

Here are some of the latest highlights.

Michael Waugh – Beauty & Truth

Award-winning country music singer-songwriter Michael Waugh released his new LP since coming out publicly last year.

Beauty & Truth is an 11-song album where Waugh shares his authentic self through his music.

“The title track of the album Beauty & Truth took me a long time to write.” Waugh tells us.

“When I was working on it, I wasn’t able to complete it because I wasn’t ready to be completely honest with myself or the world.”

“I was holding on to a version of myself that I thought that I needed to be.”

“But this is just about trying to put out into the world a message of love and healing, and hope for beauty and truth. “

His latest album ranges from songs honouring the gay elders that came before him, a tribute to Patsy Cline and Tammy Wynette, and playful moments with his partner.

Check out the album here.

Adam Noviello & YES HOMO’s horny new bob ‘Recipe’

Non-binary singer-songwriter Adam Noviello graced the cover of QNews Victoria last month singing ‘No More’ with Greg Gould, Kate Dearaugo and Kween Kong.

Teasing what would it sound like if Rush and Padam Padam had a baby, they continue to heat things up recently dropping their latest single Recipe, a steamy collaboration with YES HOMO.

With a banging beat, soaring vocals, sexy food metaphors and a Pina Colada recipe before the bridge, Recipe is a scrumptious blend of all things that make great pop music.

“RECIPE is my best track yet. I’m so proud of it, and I can’t wait for it to slay every dance floor in town.” they said.

Laced with cheeky food metaphors for sex, skipping the hors d’oeuvres and jumping right to the main course, Noviello has an unapologetic approach to pop music and continues to push boundaries redefining pop.

 Check out more of their music here.

@adamnoviello New horny bop OUT NOW #recipe @Global League #newsong #fyp #newmusic #singersongwriter #dancemusic #foryoupage #viral #queer #enby #singersongwritersoftiktok #nonbinary ♬ original sound – Adam Noviello

Jawbreakers – The Flavour

Tasty queer musicians and drag duo Jawbreakers have released The Flavour, a glittery dance-pop track that’ll be sure to satisfy your sweet tooth.

With a tasty music video, this dynamic duo brings a delicious concoction of sugary sax, fizzy synths, and lip-smacking lyrics.

“It’s so exciting to be back releasing music after nearly a 2 year break.” Sabrina Babvyslut tells us.

“We came back with an elevated version of a quintessential jawbreaker dance track!”

“If there’s one thing we want to bring to the dance for its high energy and fun tracks and we are so excited for everyone to hear it.”

They know how to bring the energy and keep you craving more.

“We’re beyond ready to show everyone what we have been working so hard on!” Kali Fornikate said.

“With the music video, we wanted to create a fully immersive world, so you can see what was in our minds when we built the track.”

Jawbreakers bring fierce and high-energy dance music to stages around the world.

Wherever you are, give them a download.

Naavikaran – CHIQ DISCCOTHEQ

With CHIQ DISCOTHEQ, artist and queer musician Naavikaran has debuted an ode to queer joy.

This 6 track Futurist Pop adventure was produced by a small team of trans baddies in an even smaller bedroom in Naarm.

“I wanted to make a project where people can listen to it and realize that they deserve laughter.”

“We deserve pleasure and to experience life like anyone else. We deserve a full human life.” Naavikaran told us.

A unique listening experience, the tracks are titled Tranny Girlfriend, Pedestal, and Zai Ki Naka.

 This diverse, powerful, and uplifting EP deserves your attention.

Have a listen here.

Thriving in Perpetual Darkness

The debut EP from Chinese Cambodian artist JXCKY, Thriving in Perpetual Darkness was written in just three months.

“It’s taken me years to get to a point where I could sit down and produce a body of work that I’d be proud of and fully resonated with.” JXCKY said.

“I was once told that I’m a person that ‘thrives in perpetual darkness’ and I cast shadows on anything that offers me even a glimmer of light. I needed to know if that was true.”

“This project is statement after statement drenched in heartache, vengeance, insecurity, self-doubt, danger and revelations.

The 7 track EP is dark pop magic and well worth checking out.

TWINK tops with remixes

Levelling up his track TWINK, last month Tom Nethersole dropped not one, but two hot remixes ahead of his album later this month.

“TWINK is one of my favourite songs I’ve put out.” Tom told us, “I love that people keep discovering and sharing it.”

“I released these two remixes because after this I’m going to be in a chill, emotional kind of era.”

“I wanted people to have something more energetic and fun to listen to before then.”

“I also wanted to highlight other naarm-based artists in these remixes. They’re just fun. It’s a new take on a song I already love.”

These bangers were mixed DJs and music producers JXN Miles and Nate Sutton.

  View this post on Instagram

  A post shared by Tom Nethersole (@tomnether)

  For the latest LGBTIQA+ Sister Girl and Brother Boy news, entertainment, and community stories in Australia, visit qnews.com.au. Check out our latest magazines or find us on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and YouTube.

[atla-hcs-and-bakoda]

who do you hc as a trans man or trans woman?

Bumi (Libramasculine Trans Man)

Kuzon (Trans Man)

Piandao (Trans Man)

Zuko (Transmasc Demiboy)

Jet (Trans Man)

Gyatso (Trans Man)

Mai (Trans Woman)

Ty Lee (Trans Woman)

Smellerbee (Trans Woman)

Yue (Trans Woman)

[circethegoblin]

STAYING ALIVE MASTERPOST, FROM A BROKE TEEN WITH ADHD

here you go. some down to earth tips on how to not die metally nor physically.

tired of those "drink three liters of water everyday uwu" and "wake up at 5 am" and "buy a bath bomb and a fec mask and some other things you don't have the money for" shit? i'm here for ya.

1. NOT DYING

eat at least three meals a day, one of which m u s t be warm and above 300 kcal (it can be istant ramen with an egg added if you have to)

you technically should shower everyday, but we know how it is. A change of clothes is sometimes enough.

DRY SHAMPOO AND BABY WIPES!!!

keep bottles with water everywhere. On your desk, near that spot on the floor you always end up sitting on, near your bed, basically whenever you know you spend a lot of time. No need to get up and go to the kitchen will help. Obviously change the water in the bottles as often as you can.

Get some form of physical activity. It doesn't have to be much, you can for example replace scrolling on tiktok by walking around your room and scrolling on tiktok! Brilliant, isn't it? Obviously, running or doing those 10 minutes workouts from youtube is better, but you are still getting like an hour of walking.

Buy blankets. Steal blankets. Summon blankets from other dimensions. Just make sure you have a lot of warm, soft blankets in your house. You will thank me when you won't have the anergy to wash your sheets (just take them off and throw some blankets on your bed), or when the power goes out.

If you have pets, ALWAYS keep spare food that'll last for a week for them.

things to always have in the kitchen: milk, eggs, flour, rice, pasta, yeast, cheese, oil, a leafy vegetable, onions, tomatoes, apples, patatoes, some flavourful sauce, sugar, salt, spices and an emergency chocolate bar. You can make a lot of food with those. Just make sure you won't eat the chocolate too fast.

Have a lot of spare batteries. A lot.

Get urself a flashlight, a lighter, and a pocket knife.

Remember the apples? eat one a day. if you don't like apples or you can't eat them for any other reason, you can take a kiwi, banana, orange, basically something that will give you vitamins and non processed sugar.

do the dishes before your sink starts developing it's own ecosystem

drugs from that one guy around the corner = very bad time

2. NOT DYING INSIDE

Open the damn window.

Don't watch so many commentary videos. You are probably not even checking the sources, so you can easily make unjust judgement, and like. did you even hear of half of those people before?

make a discord server just for yourself. get into the habit of writing little things that happened to you there. rant about the fanfics you read. or the movies. vent there if you don't have anyone you can vent to. write your ideas there, write e v e r y t h i n g. make a section for passwords, for quick ideas, for your to do lists. you won't lose it as you do with sticky notes or notebooks. there is no risk anyone will see it. oh, and when you'll have a strong impulse to tell emily that you hate her? write that message in your private server and list all ur arguments. look at tat the next day and decide if you really mean that.

life sucks. come to peace with it.

cuddle ur pets if you have them

1 hour a day without a lot of sensory input. if you have to, reduce to half an hour.

if you find yourself scrolling endlessly through social media, make sure it's pintrest (just don't compare urself to the people here; if you have issues with that, tumblr may be better)

delete. twitter. from. your. phone.

influencers are lying to you; maybe not even intentionally. remember when you were watching that cute-aesthetic-productive morning routine, and you were wondering why your life isn't that pretty? why your room is a mess? why you cannot for the life of god be aesthetic 24/7? its the filter. don't worry about it, their lifes arent that nice either.

realize there's actually nothing stopping you from screaming as loud as you can right now. like there is no physical barrier. think about it. realize there's no actual physical barierr to many other things.

your body is your body. you can decide how it looks like; just remember it's in your greatest interest to keep it healthy.

3. BEING A LITTLE BETTER THAN JUST ALIVE

If you wear make up, take it off before you go to sleep.

moisturize your body; everything is better when your skin doesn't feel dry

have a one brand of cosmetics that you love and buy things mainly from it. they often have sets of products that complete each other. i like ziaja. it's a polish brand, it's surprisingly cheap and has nice quality

cleanser, moisturizer, face mist

of you can, change your sheets once every two weeks

do the dishes before your sink starts developing it's own ecosystem

do a deep house clean once a month (don't beat yourself up when you don't tho)

keep your workspace organized (it doesn't have to look organized to other people, remember)

sunscreen

cook your own food

keep a calendar

no money for scented candles? got ya. make a simmer pot: throw some apple peel, a couple of cinnamon sticks and whatever spices that smell good you have into a pot, add some water and simmer. boom. your house smells good, and you haven't spend 20 dollars.

If you really like candles, buy scented wax melts. it's cheaper.

Buy urself scented mists. they're pretty cheap and will make you feel A LOT better.

keep your clothes clean. if you aren't sure if that shirt thats on your chair is dirty or not, throw it in the washing mashine anyway. better be sure.

if you can, make your bed right when you get up

wear clothes that make you feel good. put some effort into your outfits. really.

4. OTHER PEOPLE

be nice to essential workers.

if you have money, give tips.

remember, you do not owe anyone love; it is not something you can force. even if they saved your life. even when they helped you in your darkest time. if you don't love them, you don't.

you don't have to be in a romantic relationship to be happy.

if you want to, date! date everyone! date girls, date boys, date nonbinary people! date people completly different than you, date people from different countries, date them!!! just make sure they're kind and won't kill you. even if you don't end up in a relationship, you can learn a lot.

don't be afraid to piss off people that deserve it

smile to strangers :)

5. NOT FAILING SCHOOL

heard of dark academia? check it out

romanticize the heck out of studying

do not let your studying be just reading the same partagraph over and over again. it won't work. believe me.

seterra for geography, quizlet for everything else

try to make yourself intrestet in whatever you are studying (watch veritasium, listen to podcasts about weird history facts)

notes are for you and you only; don't worry about them looking pretty. doodle on margins, make weird metaphors, squeeze in as much info as you can.

when you're studying, listen to music without words/in a language you don't understand.

chew gum while you study

get the forest app, get attached to the trees, focus.

don't feel guilty for taking breaks

grades aren't everything, but they are important.

eat something in school

don't just use the cheapest pens. invest a couple dollars in something that will make writing enjoyable and smooth

those study with me videos? they're great

if you like to argue with the teachers, take care of your grades becouse. they may not like you afterwards.

be nice to your classmates and help them with homework. if you don't do your homework they'll help you

executive dysfunction won't let you study? been there. sometimes it's better to wake up ealier tommorow and do that homework then.

don't feel guilty for failing a test

go to the goddamn class

don't pull all nighters oh my god don't especially on weekdays

6. OTHER LIFEHACKS

don't get involved in the crime, and if you do always have a believable explanation why you were doing it

have different alarm sounds for every day of the week

set a daily limit of money that you spend

great hobbies that don't require a lot of money; urban exploration, writing, hiking and learning other languages

thrift stores

don't eat grapefruits while on meds

nail polish removers dissolve most strong glues.

if you have a cut on your skin, desinfect it. do it. please just do it.

always have pads with you. even if you don't get periods, at least one of your friends probably does

sign up in your local library. its free

[authoratmidnight]

🌻

I really wanna yell about how gosh dang queer Mairuma is and just how, casual it is about all of this so I am.

warning for some mild manga spoilers (tho they’re mostly out of context so)

Like, the last thing I expected from a comedy series about a boy becoming the grandson of a demon after being sold to him was, well, it to be really fucking queer.

Like I joke that Azz is a massive Iruma simp (which he is) but like, he looks at him with doe eyed admiration and longing, he just looks so in love (for godsakes his safeword to pull him from a self induced Wicked Phase is Iruma’s name!) He got the big gay dokis for Iruma it’s so not even subtle.

And even if you want to argue it’s just admiration, we DO have canon instances of not straight romantic feelings on page. Gyari is straight up in love with Kuromu and even stated a desire to marry her (and the only person who was like ‘but you’re both girls?’ was the lone human). And then that arc ended with an ACTUAL HONEST TO GOD LOVE CONFESSION! And it seems like those affections were being accepted (ymmv but I got a ‘I know and understand, now prove it by winning my heart’ sort of vibe).

Also the fact that Gyari jumped right to ‘well I have TWO hands so, what if I just married both’ as the solution to her problem (that Kuromu was gonna marry Irumi, Gyrai was like ‘well I can just, marry both of them! problem solved!) has me wondering if poly relationships are not unheard of or that weird.

Love is love as she said.

And there’s Poro and Delkira. Like, Poro is very much, beyond a shadow of a doubt, a gay man. And super in love with Delkira, the demon king. and from the scenes we saw of them they were close (so it’s not like this was just him, like, pining from afar or imagining things not there) and their interactions seemed really affectionate and loving, so to me it does seem like Delkira did return those affections. Whether or not Delkira is was only ever attracted to him/men we have NO idea so I can’t say for certain that he was gay, but he sure as fuck wasn’t straight lol Side note I really love those scenes cause they’re just so tender.

wAIT I almost forgot Eiko, she got big dokis for Iruma after he saved her at the start of the school year. And then proceeded to get the same reaction later on after Ameli saved her ass so like. She hella bi/pan.

And if you want messy queer folk then you could make a hella strong argument for Kirio being big gay too.

And then there’s gender/gender presentation

people need to stop making fucking trap comments i s2g

Opera-san is literally some flavour of nonbinary or agender-they’ve never been referred to w/ gendered pronouns, only ever neutral ones or by name, are physically androgynous and even wore a combination boys-girls uniform while in school. Heck the author herself refuses to answer the question as to what Opera’s gender is.

In fact it seems like not having one is just as normal, even common, as having one given that ‘other’ was even an option on the character creation screen we saw on a video game so like.

And I made that whole post about Lindy and the devidol games and how his tail didn’t raise any eyebrows at all, which leads me, personally, to believe that transness is another thing that’s just accepted. Like I firmly believe a character could be like ‘hey btw I’m a girl/boy now’ and everyone would probably just be happy for them. It hasn’t come up but like, given everything else it just feels, right.

Even the crossdressing seems to be handled, decently for the most part, I feel. It’s not like ‘ha ha ha a man in a dress’ even tho is a comedy series (or at least like, not in a demeaning, derogatory way, and in fact every time someone’s crossdressed they’ve looked, really good). It was more, everything else that was funny (like w/ the devidol games arc the funny came from the fact that Iruma didn’t tell a single person what he was doing so everyone had to find out by seeing him dolled up on TV! And their reactions, those were what was funny.)

the fandom on the other hand needs a good smacking smh

Honestly I think Nishi is just very bold for realizing she can put her boys in cute dresses and then doing just that. Good for her.

And while a bit more, my interpretation of things, Kalego really feels like he’s some flavour of aspec (arospec mainly, but lbr any aspec would fit him I feel). Which I, as someone who’s aspec (and likes Kalego), quite enjoy.

It just, comes up so casually, so naturally in the narrative, and no one ever makes any sort of deal over it cause it’s just, a thing that’s part of their society. 

It’s just, such a nice surprise and kinda refreshing.

tl;dr Mairimashita! Iruma-kun/Welcome to Demon School! Iruma-kun is surprisingly very queer on multiple fronts.

[royadventures]

march 27th, 2022--8:28am and fighting the remains of loneliness from new year

previous log

hello, good morning ^-^ well, maybe not good. maybe just morning.

yesterday on march 26th, i was in my cramped room until 2pm, when T and i left to go to the space filled with you, a cafe where you write a letter to your future self and they mail it to you a year later on the date you choose.

i cleaned my desk and chair yesterday and felt kind of strange. i can't stay in the house for long and have to leave for some air; i think that's why.

nonetheless, i reorganized my shelves a bit too! always trying to make my small room look/feel more homey >_< (apologies for poor camera quality)

anyways, the café was right across a historical palace. T and i plan to go to the palaces when the weather gets a bit better !

everything was pricey because it was vegan, there will a lot of stairs, no elevator (poor accessibility), it was a tight space/squeeze everywhere, but other than that, it was a lovely experience for someone who likes writing letters and things that involve self-reflection ^-^

i think i just didn't have the grandest time because there were 8 of us, everyone else was very cis woman and southeast asian while i'm this big old nonbinary persian sitting there in my hoodie and jeans while everyone is decked out in makeup and miniskirts. i felt very out of place and uncomfortable, but hey. i think i really confirmed the fact that i am nonbinary through that >_<

after that, i headed to anam (station near my university) to meet my buddy (ku student that i was matched with) and some other people in our buddy group to go to a hotspot bar. it was loud, but we had been warned about this, and yet it was the right type of loud. almost everyone was a ku student. they all did drinking games loudly and with a passion.

one thing that was unique to this bar, since it was full of ku students, was that someone at a table would stand up to introduce themselves and everyone else in the bar would respond. it was like a call and response/a certain type of chant?

in korean, the person shouts and says that they're going to introduce themselves and we all respond with cheers. they state their major and name, syllable by syllable, and we repeat their name back to them.

some people had lost their voices but still did it, it was very wholesome!

we also tried a few games, it was fun!!

i tried some makgeolli (rice wine), but it was flavoured. i tried peanut and corn--peanut was my favourite! it was quite strong and i resorted to water as soon as i felt myself having enough of it ^-^ my buddy, despite being strong at drinking, never forced us to drink at all. it was a very loving environment!

funnily enough, one of the people in my buddy group i had actually met at the noldam café earlier that day. she was a friend of T's friend and we laughed when we both saw each other.

the songs being played in the bar were super iconic, like svt's rock with you and mino+zico's okey dokey. people would sing along together.

after this, we went to selfpix, a new photobooth in anam, to create paper memories! t'was v fun n wholesome. that's when we all parted ways and i got this empty feeling in the pit of my stomach again. so, i got off a stop early and went to my usual 노래방 place. i messed up and lost a bit of my money because i chose songs i didn't like by accident and had to cancel them, but i still had a blast! i sang orange and will be, as usual, and scored 90s ^-^

on my walk home from there, the loneliness was getting even harder to bear and i felt myself tearing up. my cousin didn't answer my call, neither did my parents (but they were working!!) and my friends were all asleep, about to sleep, tired, or mentally not well.

i think this is all part of this experience too, though.

when you move away, you have to accept the good with the bad. you can't have people there for you whenever you want/need them, even though sometimes it seems like T has all her friends lined up and waiting to call her :< but i don't want to compare myself to her. you need to learn to cope on your own.

i bought myself ice cream from the convenience store to cheer myself up. seems like emotional support ice cream is a norm for me, now. well, it tasted good! ^3^

today, march 27th, T and i are supposed to go to a café to study. apparently one of her clubbing friends got covid. i don't even know anymore. it might have to be another solo day. whatever..

verivery had a comeback ! i just got to listen to it now. i like it :") it's less intense than the recent comebacks they've been having but also not like their old stuff. it's a unique sound for them. i'm just ecstatic that they're back after so long!

have a good day or night, wherever/whenever you are <3

next log

[nyctolovian]

TMA S1 Archival Team Headcanons

A lot of sexuality/gender headcanons but also some misc headcanons that are somewhat related??? I'm writing this cos idk how else to celebrate ace week so I'm just plopping this down here.

Jon

Not a headcanon but AAAAAA I'm so happy he's canonically ace :""

Has no clue what the hell people are talking about when they talk about attractiveness

Used to think he was pansexual because "well, I think everyone looks attractive in the same amount" (turns out same amount is Zero.)

Now he knows he's a panromantic ace

Ace flavour: fluctuating between sex-favourable and sex-neutral

Quite enjoys sex (when he's in the mood)

But he *hates* kissing. Full-on kiss on the lips is gross

Hair kisses and hand kisses are very welcome though!!

That's why there is no kissing in The Magnus Archives (frankly, kissing sounds are gross to me so thank you rusty quill)

Nonbinary. Pronouns are probably he/him/they/them. But he doesn't rly talk about it because it feels like too much trouble

Skirts!!! Gosh! Long flowy skirts are his favourite. They're comfortable and he feels a little pretty in them

Martin

Idk he comes off as someone who doesn't want labels

Love is love to him.

Once he has a crush, he crushes H A R D

If you watch his ears, you'd see how nervous he gets around Jon. Cos they go red

Started painting his nails to stop himself from biting them (self-projection lmaooo)

Now he paints them for fun! His favourite nail polish is baby blue!

My HC for him morphs between trans and cis ;-; I can't decide ;-;

Sasha

Aromantic heterosexual (there are too few Allo aro rep out here so I'm making them myself!!!!)

Will beat you up if u call her straight (and so will I)

She and Jon bond over being aspec. Just constant jokes of "pffft sexual/romantic attraction? What's that? Can you eat it?"

She loves going on dates! They're fun!

Isn't too stoked about romance and falling in love... Esp how society seems to put them on a pedestal because it makes her feel left out

Also because romance looks unnecessarily messy

Really wants a QPR but is very specific about what she wants out of it

Incredibly specific about terminologies (let's face it, she's bothered enough by the calliope thing to barge into Jon's recording)

Specifically, she never wants to be "an item" or "couple" with someone. She doesn't like her status to be referred to with nouns???

Saying she's "dating" someone or "married" is fine.

Tim

Bi-con

Hawaiian shirts and finger guns

The most open about his sexuality of the gang.

Big Fat Crush on everyone in the archival team

"What were the requirements for working in this archival team???? Must be hot?????"

Biggest Fattest Crush on Sasha though

In No-One-Dies AU, I'd think the two of them will be in a QPR

They have a ton of conversations to clarify the feelings between them

Tim is super understanding of Sasha's discomforts and boundaries

((they marry))

S1 Polycule

I can 100% imagine this happening

After JonMartin and TimSasha marry, they realise it feels like a four-way marriage

So they just roll with it and now they're a polycule

Cuddlepiles and movies every Friday

So so much teasing and banter and also cuddles

They used to sleep separately (Jon/Martin and Tim/Sasha). Then they started mixing it up and swapping around based on mood

After a while they decided it was better to just push two beds together and just all sleep together

Sometimes if there are some steamy bedroom business going on, people who aren't in the mood (mostly Jon) take the couch until everything is settled

[pocmuzings]

hello hi , it is g , ur friendly local neighbourhood hindu indian ( as in south asian  ) ! so a few people requested that i just make a guide-esque sorta thing on hindu  indian characters ! im not really good at guides , so instead , these are just little things i’ve noticed or picked up on that could really potentially strengthen the next indian character u ( pretty please ! ) pick up ! 

disclaimer : i am writing this from my perspective and it is NOT definitive , nor do i speak on behalf of all hindu indians  ! i am a 23-year-old bisexual cis female hindu indian , with one older gay brother, and a Train Wreck middle brother . my mother is from new delhi , and my father is from nairobi but has indian heritage ( not sure which part of india bc he’s an Engima ) . i have extended family in india and have visited india about 10-15 times throughout my entire life .

so firstly , im so glad u all are here and want to write more hindu indian characters ! please please do so !  i hope this helps , encourages u , and isnt too confusing !! 

psa : i need everyone to know that this is a very basic ‘ guide ‘ and theres a lot it DOESNT touch on or address bc i didnt want to get too Extensive and Detailed and have people Turn off and not Read it . this is just written in the terms of hopefully helping build  character / be relevant to characters a bit better that ive employed into writing my OWN hindu indian character creations !  but if u have any other questions pls reach out to me or any other indians in the rpc and im sure we’ll try our best to assist u !

FCS: 

one thing i’d really like to say is that its great to see fcs like dev patel  , deepika padukone and avan jogia picked up every now and then in rps , but there’s actually a LOT of other indian fcs you could be and should be using ! the main reason people don’t seem to know them is because they’re not ‘ hollywood ‘ stars per se ( it was a super big deal when pr*yanka broke out of bollywood and into bollywood but we don’t talk about her on this Blog ) . they’re usually bollywood stars and i don’t really see bollywood discussed that much in the rpc ! 

if you’re after MORE indian fcs , i have a tag of indian females here , and indian males here . the fcs on my blogs are also not ALL that exist . there are plenty of other blogs out there that post indian fcs , such as sonamhelps &  bollymusings !!! there’s also some really great faceclaim directories out there that include a LOT of indians with resources !

 unfortunately , i do not know of any trans indians or nonbinary indians but that doesn’t mean they don’t exist . indian cultures and beliefs are still quite Old School and not super progressive . india only just had it’s first wlw mainstream bollywood film released last year . lgbtqia+ issues are NOT really spoken about in india or within indian families at ALL , and if they are - they’re usually dismissed or reacted to Very Very Badly . ( again this isnt definitive and im sure and hopeful that some indians have had GREAT coming out stories and been accepted by their families but this has not been a common thing ive seen or witnessed from my cousins my age , indian friends , myself and my brother who are lgbtqia +  ) 

FOOD : 

we do eat with our hands and we eat like PROS with our hands . we can shovel it so easily and quickly . i don’t know how to describe it but you use the first three fingers of your hand to place the Food there , and then use your thumb to kinda scoop it off and into your mouth . this is NOT unhygienic because indians wash their hands very regularly and most of the time we aren’t actually touching our mouths to our hands ! 

indian food is MADE to be eaten with your hands for the most part . it is literally NOT practical to eat food with a knife and fork . here’s a really great article explaining things more in depth re: indian food and using our hands !

cows are seen as Very holy beings in hindu indian culture , and for that reason - there isn’t a lot of beef being eaten or consumed. sure , some indians DO eat beef but i don’t think its super common, but in my personal experience as a non-beef-eater this results in A LOT of me asking ‘ oh ,  sorry what sauce does that pasta come with ? ‘ ‘ oh those are beef sausages ? sorry i can’t eat them ‘ etc etc . beef is in a LOT of things , and this makes me very very careful and almost pedantic about what i do eat and ask about , food wise  !

indian food is seen as stinky by a majority of white people . it has a very very strong smell as im sure u know , and opening ur lunch box as a little kid to a Curry or Dal ur mum has made u ? one way street to being bullied . i also remember a time a real estate agent continuously told my dad nobody was interested in buying our house bc it smelled too much like curry,  despite my mum not having cooked curry in Weeks ( just say what u Really mean ,  bitch ! )

 indian curry exists but so does dal / daal . this is curry-like dish that is usually made out of lentils . so if ur going to talk about indian food and u know curries and samosas . . pls also bring up dals . and sabji ! ( sabji is usually just boiled vegetables plopped together . a lot of potato usually )

desserts are what we call Indian Sweets  . this is stuff that is usually very VERY sugary and a bit of an accustomed taste . theyre very colourful and LOOK beautiful but even i , for one , can not eat many indian sweets bc they are a Lot of Sweet and Sugar    . examples of indian sweets that u can google  : gulab jamun , burfi , rasgulla , jalebi etc . here’s a great link for more !

give me spiced food or give me death . literally . . put some cumin in . . put some garam masala . . put some chillies . . flavour ur Food for my Indian Taste Buds 

FAMILY : 

if you are the oldest son of an Indian Family . . congratulations . you are now the Head of the family and must carry every weight and burden alone . it is extremely isolating and taxing on you ( my dad is the oldest indian son , and also - so is my eldest brother , obvs ) . there is a LOT that is expected of you to do . you are expected to quite literally run the family and be the ‘ man of the house ‘ by yourself . 

if you are a daughter . . . even BIGGER congratulations ! you are basically a maid to every male or guest who EVER comes over to your house . you must be a Hostess , you must be in the kitchen cooking , serving snacks, bringing tea , and then washing up and basically waiting on Hand and Foot . you will not be included into a lot of dialogue or engaged in a lot of conversation and TRUST ME ! THAT WILL GRIND UR GOD DAMN GEARS IN THE 21ST CENTURY ! 

if you are a boys’ boy ( aka straight and Sporty ) , then congrats ! you get it the easiest : you are the favourite of every social event . the uncles and cousins love talking to you and dude-ing it up with you , and the aunts fawn over you and think you’re the Best Thing since sliced bread . sit back , put your feet up , and expect to be treated like a God. you can do absolutely no wrong . ( my middle brother is this to a T and listen . . he’s been in and out of jail for physical violence and ab*se for over 5 years . and family still FROTH over him . my teeth are gritted to dust thinking of this again ) 

indian aunties are lethal . they gossip like teenage girls . they will find out everything . they will bitch behind your back . they can NOT be trusted .

everyone is ur uncle or aunt, sister or brother . literally everyone . ur cousin ? no. thats ur sister . ur dads friend ? no , thats ur uncle . you will call them as such . EVERYONE is family .  

family is in general a VERY BIG THING in indian culture , too . ‘ what will it Look like to everyone else if we don’t all arrive together ? ‘ my dad usually asks dskjdfjn . it’s all about Looking Right and Standing As A United Front  . that being said , indian family has undying and unwavering loyalty for one another , they just show it in a very Weird way .

FASHION: 

female hindu indian formal  clothes are usually really embroidered to hell and back and this makes them very scratchy , uncomfortable, and HEAVY . you aren’t running anywhere anytime soon in a full blown lehenga or saree 

most ‘ modern ‘ hindu indian women do not wear full Indian Clothes all the time . some do , but usually it’s a lot of wearing a kurti tunic with jeans , or just normal everyday clothing . again , this is going to be different based on which parts of india your character is from , though ! 

usually , older women and married women  wear traditiona hindul indian clothing quite often . i know my mum wore a sari AT HOME everyday when i was growing up, until i was like 13 and took her shopping with me to get something Else to wear . 

bindi’s just stick right onto ur forehead but they do fall off a lot , especially when ur wearing makeup or sweating . again , you don’t need to wear a bindi everyday , unless thats ur preference . i usually only wear them for festivals . ( festivals means indian celebrations , not like . . coachella  ((which u should not be wearing a bindi to , if ur not indian fyi )) )

male formal clothes are usually just literally anything Formal and buttoned up for the most part , and u can get away with that , or you can wear a really nice kurta

indians wear white at funerals , not black  ( not sure if this should go in the fashion section but this entire thing is being organised into a Mess by now anyways ) . you CAN wear black to a funeral of course , but its common to wear white !

DATING ( tw’s for islamaphobia ): 

modern day indian / desi fuck boys exist and my god they are Something Else . hasan minhaj did a really good piece about this and explaining them to a T ( starts at 1:43 )

( THIS IS THE POINT THAT WILL MENTION ISLAMAPHOBIA AND HOMOPHOBIA ! ) basically according to Older  indians , ,  ur dating options  in 2020 go like this ( if ur a cis female like me ) : hindu indian men are god tier , white men are Not Okay But I Guess So Bc We Have To Accept They’re Everywhere , females / being lgbtqia+ is not Taken Seriously , and muslims are literally not even close to being an option or Accepted  . again this isn’t definitive but based on a lot of  indian media i’ve consumed and seen how they portray muslims in general as well as Dating Options , as well as talking to other indians  , both who are older / traditional and hold these ideals , whereas Younger gens generally do NOT hold these ideals  / actively are Against these backwards ideals.   i remember when i was in year 6 and had my first boyfriend . . he was a muslim and my dad FLIPPED the FUCK out  . it’s not even that i was dating someone / young / his only daughter . . it was mainly because i was dating a muslim . again , this is a very OLD SCHOOL and traditional way of thinking and it is NOT CORRECT .  pls don’t take this as a note to be islamaphobic if u write an indian character bc . . thats literally the opposite of what im trying to tell u here . 

yeah arranged marriages are definitely still a thing for us , even now in 2020

YES if u are an unmarried / single indian ( ESPECIALLY if ur a woman ) about to enter ur 30s . . ur in DANGER and u are the black sheep and theres probably something Wrong With You bc why are u still single ?

TRADITIONS / BELIEFS / SUPERSTITIONS :

idk if its just me and my family but we are SUPER superstitious . if you say anything like ‘ he hasnt gotten sick in years !’ immediately , everyone knocks on wood or their head . if you were planning on leaving the house and sneeze ? thats bad luck , stand and wait for five minutes then u can leave . we have a strong belief in drishti , or  alternatively : The Evil Eye  , and making sure we don’t invite it into our lives . a lot of our prayers are about warding drishti away .

the evil eye is kinda Complicated but basically its an ill-wishing upon an unsuspecting person . if somebody is jealous of you or angered by you , they may wish upon you or cast upon you the Evil eye ( or even just glare at u whilst ur not looking and thats Big Bad ) . 

a lot of older indians , like older people in general i guess , are not super progressive or Open . this isnt ALWAYS the case but older indians can be very very stubborn in their beliefs in what is Right and Wrong , Normal and Not Normal 

theres a LOT of hindu indian festivals and events ! tbh too many for me to even keep up with . but without fail at least once a year ill say to ONE of my friends ‘ oh sorry i cant make it . i have an indian Thing on that day ‘ and its usually about a festival , so pls be aware that there are a LOT of indian festivals and if ur writing an indian character , its perfectly understandable and Relatable for them to say they can’t make it to a party or hang out with their friends that night , for that very reason !

the main / most popular ( ? ) festivities  that i personally do celebrate every year without fail are : 

diwali ( the festival of lights , celebrating goddess lakshmi roaming the earth . in my household this is usually turning on literally every single light and lighting candles and fireworks / sparklers and saying some prayers , and eating a formal dinner all together !  )  

holi ( the festival of colours . celebrating victory and love . again personally for me , this was usually celebrated at the temple with all of us Kids running around throwing paint on each other ! ) 

rakhi / raksha bandhan ( a day of sisters celebrating their brothers . you tie a rakhi which is usually a bracelet / holy string around your brothers wrist , feed them some food , pray for their wellbeing and in return they gift you something . in my case, i usually get money from them ) .

navratri  / durga puja ( 9 nights and 10 days of celebrations but tbh u don’t have to do all the days . or i mean . . i don’t . i fast one day from morning to night and then i slide on over to boogie and dance dandiya which is literally the MOST FUN dance ever bc its based off some Historical Fight and u go faster and faster and keep going until ur absolutely SPENT bc u dont wanna lose ur place in the circle )  

there are SO MANY HINDU INDIAN GODS too . and so many prayers to all of them and to just general Life Wellness . chances are that ur character will know at least ONE aarti / gazal / prayer off by heart and have sung it at least 30 times in a monotone voice . the ones i know off by heart bc ive had to sing them 3000 times ? om jai jagdish hare , & the gayatri mantra 

GENERAL LIL THINGS I DIDN’T KNOW HOW TO CATEGORISE ( tw’s for skin whitening , colorism and classism ) :

( THIS IS THE POINT THAT NEEDS A TW FOR SKIN WHITENING AND COLORISM  ) lets hold indians accountable right now : we advertise SKIN LIGHTENING CREAM  . i think they finally stopped that earlier this year / due to BLM ( i’m not entirely sure / could be wrong ) , but thats literally how bad it is , that we would openly advertise and encourage people to literally bleach their skin rather than look darker . 

( THIS IS THE POINT THAT NEEDS A TW FOR COLORISM AND CLASSISM ) colorism is a BIG thing in india and usually linked to class . generally speaking , the people who are Darker Skinned are usually people who work outside / labourers or homeless even , and are therefore seen as lower class / bottom class . the lighter skin you have , the more privileged and advantaged you are bc ur seen as working a Good job out of the sun and having a home . it’s incredibly classist as well as just generally Fucked Up . why am i telling u this ? mainly so u understand the importance of using a dark skinned indian fc vs a light skinned indian fc which i know is hard , bc a lot of darker skinned indians arent in hollywood / have resources , but its still something to Think About .  

i have a long Ethnic name . literally my first name is 10+ letters , which i know doesnt seem that long Necessarily but its also a Super Ethnic name with e’s and and j and n . it Flows and Sounds very clearly different from a christian name . it is VERY important to me that my name be said Correctly because i’ve spent so much time having it said incorrectly or Westernised . i also know a lot of indians my age who ( like me ) have had to dramatically shorten their REAL first name ( which is usually also pretty long . not always , but it is Common ) , to fit their name into white people’s mouths better . please put some thought into ur indian characters name !

not all indians speak hindi ! hindi is one of MANY dialects within india . there is also tamil , urdu  , bengali , punjabi , telugu and SO many more , so pls research which part of india ur character / their family  is from bc hindi won’t always be the default language for them !

not every indian is hindu ! of course ur character doesnt have to be religious at all , bc if im being honest IM barely religious but my FAMILY is and this is smth u should think abt bc religion is a pretty big thing for indians . so even if ur character isnt hindu , they were probably raised with SOME religious beliefs . have a think about which religions they would have been brought up with ! there’s a very large percentage of practicing muslims , sikhs and buddhists too ! and even christianity !

WRITING WISE / CREATING AN INDIAN CHARACTER WISE :

the first step should be to consume indian media ! listen to indian music . watch bollywood movies ! theres SO MANY  out there on everyone’s netflix . if u want some recs , let me know and i can try my best to find smth for u ! if u want smth thats Hollywood-indian . . . Hasan Minhaj is great to watch , especially his episodes on indian culture / politics , and Never Have I Ever on netflix was rlly good / relatable for me personally as an indian growing up in a western society !

i would really really love to see more indian rep in general , but i’d also like to discuss the Stereotypes that ive seen indians portrayed as in mainstream hollywood media :

indian women as soft spoken and subservient beings who are abused by their husbands and have no say in anything 

heterosexuality within indian relationships and indian dating 

indian men as sleazy 

indians in general not being seen as Sexy or Sexual beings with any sex drive at all 

Stumbling , Stuttering , Nerdy awkward messes of men who don’t know how to interact with anybody they find sexually appealing

an indian character that everybody ( usually white ) finds Uncomfortable and Weird and is seen as usually the Butt of the joke .

 i think those mentioned above could be helpful in how to plan your next indian character and think about how to SUBVERT a trope theyre often portrayed as , or create an indian thats not stereotypical !

so what and who SHOULD you write ? 

an indian character who is proudly and openly gay , or bi 

a trans or nonbinary indian ( PLEASE ! ) 

an indian character with really super accepting parents and family 

an aromantic indian 

an indian who is focused on their career first and not their dating life 

a fuckboy / fuckgirl ( honestly . . i’d love to see it )

a indian character who is a party animal 

an outspoken indian female who takes no shit and is strong in every sense of the word

a confident , smooth talking indian businessman who is Sexy and Lusted After ( not in a gross christian grey way but just . i’d love to see indian characters seen as Sexy . not in a fetishy way , either , but just because it’d be a nice change in pace ! )

a character who IS traditional / religious but also very progressive and forward thinking in their beliefs 

honestly just any character that isnt whats mentioned above

[twofacedbelief]

Ooh ooh the final one, needing a date to an event, but the character asks two or even three crushes/squishes because they think no one will say yes but they all turn up and shenanigans and confessions!!!

Virgil loves his parents, he really do, but he could do without their monthly game nights. Especially as the next one has crept closer and closer, they've not very subtly inquired if he has any "special someone" to invite.

The game nights are like. A whole thing. His parents invite their group of friends, which is like... 85% couples. There's food and wine and music the adults listened to when they were his age. Virgil has always been allowed to join in, and once he entered high school he started inviting his then best friend to join.

Of course, his parents banned Logan from game night after The Incident. The aftermath of that night got Virgil to try his chances with getting a bigger social circle, which somehow led to his current dilemma.

It's not that Virgil doesn't wish he had a "special someone". It's that he's head over heels for two of his friends; Janus and Remy. The two are basically the nonbinary royalty of the school, and Virgil has no idea if either of them would want to come to something as "lame" as a game night hosted by his parents.

On the other hand, the game night would be much more tolerable if he had one of them there. Especially since if he doesn't invite anyone, his parents won't be the only ones asking about any significant other/s. Virgil has known most of his parents' friend group since he was in diapers; they're really more like a bunch of aunts and uncles and entles.

Virgil end up texting Janus and Remy at 1am the day before - well, technically the day of - the game night. Asking if they wanna come and maybe pretend to be his datemate if anyone asks.

He then promptly throws his phone away from him and watch youtube videos until he falls asleep. Which means that when Virgil wakes up at noon, his phone is lost in his bed and forgotten as he has to eat, shower, all that.

The doorbell rings a quarter to 3. Virgil gets sent to open the door as his parents are working on setting everything up in the kitchen and living room.

He seriously consider closing the door again as he open it to reveal both Janus and Remy. Janus is wearing a yellow summer dress with a brown bee-themed leather jacket, and Remy is wearing a sheer white shirt over a cute bralette, and a high-waisted maxi skirt with slits along the sides. Virgil has seen them in similar outfits before, but the circumstance makes it completely different.

Somehow, Virgil manages to greet them and invite them inside. His parents peek out from the living room to see who the first arrivals are.

"Oh!" his mother says, quickly doing some mental math as she connects the dots of asking Virgil about a special someone, the two teenagers, and her son's red cheeks.

Virgil can really only look on as Janus immediately charms his parents, while Remy smiles and nods in all the right places. It's gonna be a long day.

But there's still about 10 minutes before anyone else is expected to come, and Virgil's parents have a few things more to do so the three of them end up retreating to the backyard.

...specifically the tree house that Virgil helped his parents build back when he was 8. It's not really meant for three high schoolers, but it's roomy enough that they can still stretch out to some degree.

Virgil sits by the opening so that his parents will be able to see where they are. Janus and Remy have both opted to sit against the opposite wall, likely in an attempt to not crowd him.

"So..." Remy drawls, a smile on their lips. If they had Starbucks, this would be when they took a sip. Janus rolls their eyes fondly, a small smile on their lips.

Virgil almost gets distracted wondering if Janus is wearing strawberry chapstick. Or lip gloss. He's not sure if lip gloss can be flavoured, though he knows chapstick can be tinted.

"Did you look at your phone after you texted us?" Janus asks, being the only one of them to always have a functioning braincell.

"No," Virgil admits, and automatically check his jeans for his phone. Of course, the only thing in his pockets is a hair tie.

Remy pouts at the admission, but it's so quick that Virgil almost thinks he imagined it. He's definitely missing something, and his phone holds the answers. Would it be ridiculous if he ran in to get it?

...yes, it would. Especially as he has Janus and Remy in front of him.

"Do you know about polyamory, Virgil?" Janus asks.

"It's 2020," Virgil deadpans, because it's kind of hard to not know about polyamory when you have a tumblr and AO3 account. It's the best solution to all those stupid love triangles in media.

Actually, he's pretty sure he has rambled about Bella/Jacob/Edward to both Janus and Remy after the twilight renaissance started.

"Yeah, fair." Janus answers with a beautiful little laugh.

"What Jan is trying to ask is if you're polyam, babes." Remy chimes in. They call everyone babes, but it has never stopped Virgil from getting flustered.

"Uh, I think so."

"Us too!" Remy claps their hands together and their smile widen.

"I thought we agreed to not rush," Janus jokingly scolds. Virgil feels the confusion settle in. Was this taking the direction he thought it was taking?

"Yeah but what if we get interrupted?" Remy counters. It's a fair concern, as Virgil can see that people has started to arrive if he angles his head to look through the living room windows.

"As I was saying," Janus continues, as if the conversation hadn't derailed at all. "Remy and I talked after we realised that you texted both of us, and we came to a very interesting conclusion."

Virgil can't help but wonder if Janus is torturing him on purpose.

"Yeah?"

"See, we thought if you're open to both of us pretending to be your-"

"Ugh, you're taking forever!" Remy interrupts. "Virge, babes. I'm gay, Jan is gay, do you want to be gay together with us?"

"Remy, that's not clear at all!" Janus complains. "Virgil, we're wondering if you want to be in a real polyamorous relationship with us."

Virgil.exe has stopped working.

Okay, not really, but almost. For a full minute, all he manages to do is stare at them. If he trusted them less - or were more paranoid - he would be looking around for a hidden camera.

"Like... for real for real?" he asks, eyes wide.

"Only if you want to," Remy reassures. "I'll def fight Jan for you if you don't want to immediately jump into dating two people."

Virgil is pretty sure that he hears Janus say "as if I'd let you win" under their breath.

"Yes!" Virgil exclaims. "I mean, yes, I want to date both of you."

"Cool beans." Remy answers. Virgil and Janus stare at them.

"I'm breaking up with you." Janus deadpans and Remy dramatically clasp their chest at the act of betrayal.

Only seconds later, the three of them are a giggling mess.

"I can't believe-" Virgil gets out in between giggles. "-that you said 'cool beans'!"

They're still giggling when someone comes to get them.

[steponmepinkjun]

I NEVER FINISHED MY STORY OMG. ok so i left off at being too proud to tell my friend she was right and kpop fucked hard. the difference between u and me is that i’m too good of a liar. too good. i kept up the “i hate kpop it’s cringe” facade for ALMOST TWO WHOLE YEARS, I SHIT YOU NOT. why? bc my dumb ass, extra ass, dramatic ass self thought “ok if i’m gonna have to deal with the embarrassment of admitting i’m wrong, i better do it in such an extra ass way it’ll knock ur socks off so hard that YOULL be the one embarrassed not me.” the original plan was to learn the entire choreography to bts dope, bc it’s the song that she told me to listen to and inevitably the song that got me into them, but later switched to bts fire bc i saw too many of those “choreo matches w any song” videos, and then her birthday party came up. and here’s the real kicker. her birthday is April Motherfuckin Fools. so it would be So Perfect for me to reveal my kpopism as a birthday present And a april fools prank in one. so i was Set on the Reveal being on april 1st, but the day rolls around and god that choreo is so fucking hard and i am Not a dancer. never have been. so i abandon that and go ykno what… i’ll do it Next Year. BC MY BITCHASS WAS LIKE NO THE MOMENT IS TOO PERFECT TO DO IT ON A NORMAL ASS DAY ITS GONNA BE ON APRIL FOOLS ON HER GODDAMN BIRTHDAY OR NOT AT ALL. a year rolls by, i’ve told most of our friends except her and they’re all in on it, i’d made so many subtle kpop references to her without her realising they were fully intentional and had too many scares where she almost figured me out but i lied my way out of it, and i’d given up on showing off with choreography bc i couldn’t make that shit look good. i’m not a dancer. i am, however, a rapper, and a damn good one, so i inhaled the agust d mixtape and decided i’d just rap the eminem of kpop’s anthem at her face. in korean. and change the lyrics at the end (if u haven’t listened to agust d, the bridge repeats “i’m sorry” a lot) to “i’m sorry i kept this from u for so long” and “i’m sorry i actually ult got7 not bts” (this was like the april after skz debuted ok i was holding onto got7 for dear life knowing full well skz we’re going to convert me smh) and the best part? she never saw it coming. her official present was a cd with a bunch of kpop on it but she thought it was just a personalised mixtape for her so i told her to play the first song out loud and she knew the song Instantly. it has a long intro so she was like “i guess u did listen when i recommended u this song!! i knew you’d like it since u like rap so much!!” and then i started rapping and i shit u not. she started SCREAMING. like the initial reaction was her jaw dropping and then instinctively covering her mouth but when i kept going and she realised i wasn’t fucking around she just fucking screamed like a banshee. at the end during the sorry bit i threw off my jacket to reveal a got7 shirt on the inside and she fell off her chair and started rolling around on the floor. needless to say it was every bit as satisfying as i thought it’d be LMAOOOO afterwards her ass was like “I CANT BELIEVE U HID THIS FROM ME FOR OVER A YEAR” and when i tried to explain my ego couldn’t take the “i told u so” she was like “you know i wouldn’t have made fun of you for it right? i would just be glad you’re not hating on my boys anymore” so basically i’m a big dramatic fool and she was always too good for me.

don’t mind the weird spaces here my ipad is being all fucky wucky w me rn. damn sad to hear ur sideblog experience didn’t go so well, i’d have shown u the cool side of the fandom if i knew 😤😤 leading u thru the cursed halls of kpop stan tumblr like a sketchy tour guide that’s actually 3 small raccoons stacked on top of each other like a trench coat, like “over here we have the fanfic writers that honestly need to publish a book, over here we have the gif makers that are responsible for my entire camera roll, if we take a quick swerve past the death threat anons and the twt fanwar screenshots - mind ur feet bub the 14 year olds were tryna make a grab for ur ankles - ah here’s the holy grail of shitposts, you might be here for hours, to the right we have the weird aussie side of the fandom that projects our childhoods onto chanlix but also all the members as we decide what their life in australia would’ve been like, and down there is a secret trapdoor to the blogs w endless random headcanons that will make you laugh, cry or blush depending on if the author woke up and decided to choose violence today. enjoy your Stay!” but then again i’m not so active on tumblr anymore (ngl you’ve become the highlight of my tumblr experience these days, interaction wise,) so maybe all my Local Hotspots are inactive now. i know a bunch of them are, it’s sad. “i don’t fw stan twitter for the same reason i don’t hang out in meth dens” oop. guess i’m a meth addict. no but i get u i rly do, it’s a hellhole out there, but the fact that things get shared and spread a lot easier than on tumblr and how short most things have to be (therefor keeping up w my adhd attention span without having to resort to the mental torture that is tiktok, with the added bonus of not always needing headphones.) that i just. couldn’t leave if i tried. maybe i should try being active on tumblr again but it’s a dying site in comparison.

“their music doesn’t consistently hit for me as much as skz” i’m sorry we can’t be friends anymore. what. what. you don’t dramama ramama ramama hey? you don’t feel a little jealousyyyyyy, naega anin? you don’t shoot out, shoot out, shoot out, or aremdaeun love killa love killa? you can’t be your hero du du du du du du du du du dududu? u disappoint me. literally like everyone i know who likes skz music likes mx music like it’s a rite of Passage. they’re kindred spirits, monsta x music is like skz’s music’s cool but mildly heterosexual older brother. neither of them know what a bad song is it runs in the family. and both their music runs in my VEINS. whenever i describe my music taste they’re always the first two that come to mind, skz being my number 1 bc they are my best boys but mx bc of the Flavour. pls listen to the entire the code album then get back to me 😤🙌 ok but fr ur so right they are 7 of the finest men i ever seen (yes i say 7 bc i’m including wonho cause he deserved better and i’ll die on my ot7 bullshit.) like don’t get me started on them either LOL i LITERALLY downloaded that one insta video of changkyun working out his back n arm muscles w his tattoo showing bc i needed that shit saved for Science. they could do Anything w me like frfr. yes vixx is the bdsm contract group i’m telling ya they wildin. or at least they were. it’s been years since their last comeback idk what they’re doing anymore tbh. and yeah that makes sense, savouring the hyperfixation i feel it, but also i’m so attached to skz that i never let it die. like i hyperfixate on other things and other groups but i will Always go back to skz cause they’re my homeboys. hell, they’re my home. being a predebut stay i’ve spent more time w skz than most of my actual family members at this point. but that’s just me you do u boo xx just know that if ur anything like me ur never letting go once skz it’s been my longest lasting fixation cause they hit like Nothing Else Do. ik i’ve already said that but i cannot stress it enough. they’re really special. i’m gonna stop here before i get all sappy and emotional bc i really love those boys so fucking much and i don’t drop the L bomb often. SIDE NOTE I WOULD LIKE TO SEE UR LIST OF GROUPS RANKED BY THORSt. i need to judge ur Taste. and omg cat&dog is such a guilty pleasure song bc the lyrics make me cringe so much bc while pet play can be fun they be doing it in more of an “i’m an innocent soft dogboy uwu” kinda way that just Does Not Sit Right with me. it comes back to the objectifying of asians that asians themselves don’t help in industries like these and maybe i’m looking too far into it when rly it is just wholesome n cute or maybe they are into some pet play shit idk idc i will bop to the song regardless but i will not acknowledge the lyrics nope.

YOURE RIGHT THO SKZ’S OPENNESS IS IN FACT, A BIG DEAL, i’ll grab them for u if u want but i found these twt threads of skz supporting the lgbt community and i just felt a special kind of happiness man like sure the delusional part of me likes going “haha they’re gay” bc my brain likes to imagine them as my polycule of mlm boyfriends bc sometimes thats what gives me the serotonin to get me thru the day ok don’t judge but also bc it’s nice knowing that yes i’ll never know them personally, but at least i can support them knowing they’d respect my gender identity and my pronouns, they’d respect who i choose to love, and that’s already more than the general public can say so shit, it is special! it’s special that they don’t treat being cishet like the norm - they constantly remove gender from their songs and speech entirely, they don’t assume all stays are female anymore, we don’t talk abt the babygirls incident cause we got babystays in the end outta that ok, and it’s just. so refreshing and important to me bc i can’t get that anywhere else!! like my semi ults are the boyz and while i love them very much and there’s no way all 11 of them are straight i refuse, i do get just a little bit sad whenever they she/her their fandom by default and call them their girlfriends n shit even tho i do still identify as a girl, i’m also genderfluid/nonbinary/transmasc, and i have a very love/hate relationship w my womanhood and rarely use she/her pronouns, cause it’s like, do you not see me? see us? the ones who aren’t cishet women? i mean i know kevin does bc he congratulated a fan who came out as nb but it’s just not the same as the openness we get w skz. like how do i trust cishets i could be supporting them as a queer person when in reality they’d call me a slur. what would i know, behind the screen? so it’s so good that skz go the extra mile to make it a safe space for everyone. this is already long enough i will reply to the second half of that ask in another message… tomorrow cause it’s 1am and i’m tired gn -felix bi anon

I'mma have to start putting these under a readmore so that i don't absolutely make everything who is still following me for some reason go totally fucking insane 😂

NDJDHWJJAHFNAKBSJSBFBHHDBDNAJD YOU HAVE NO IDEA THE FACES I WAS MAKING READING THIS, I WAS FUCKING CACKLING AND GASPING EVERY OTHER SENTENCE SO HARD THAT I SCARED THE CATS NDJWHSHSB the fact that you went "oh you want me to get into kpop? Give me a hot minute, and I'll give you a whole ass private concert for free" biduehsjdbd biiiiiiiiiiitch you're a fucking ICON, I stg I could NEVER 😂 (and not just because I couldn't find a tune if you gave me a printed set of Google maps directions and that I embody the steriotype that white people can't dance, like my sister kept sensing me tiktoks of the whole "dance like a white girl" trend going lmfao look it's you and eventually I was like "sis please this trend has me feeling like being white is a disability and these mothafuckers are being ableist 😭 also I could NEVER be that on beat so yall ain't even doin it right 😭😭😭😭"). Tbh if I told one of my friends (lol what friends, i got jokes) to get into Skz and they showed up at my bday and performed the entirety of I Got It I would simply shower them in money and go "aight everyone else go home, you are no longer needed, you are being laid off, your position has been eliminated, we're downsizing, the company is moving up and you're moving out, you are not qualified for this role any longer, best of luck with future endeavors" 😊

I think part of the reason I can't deal w Twitter is the exact reason I refuse to leave tumblr, in that I've been on tumblr since 2006 and twt since 2008, and tumblr literally has not changed at all, not even a little, whereas going from the early days of twt where there were no corporate sponsorships or ads and you had to manually copy and paste someone's tweet and @ them to retweet it, to how it is now, like 90% ads and showing me shit from the timelines of people I don't even fuckin follow n whatnot, it's just not enjoyable. Idk how anyone finds anything on twt, it confuses and frustrates me because I am old and have not adapted well to technology changing 😂 But arguably, the skz fanbase doesn't want me on skztwt anyways so like it works for both of us lmfaooo. I am old and cringey, and also still think of twt as stream of consciousness whereas tumblr is your teenage bedroom where you can decorate the walls with anything that interests you. I do really love the nonsensical kpoptwt shitposts tho fhshsbdjjss like it is a very specific flavor of mental instability that I enjoy immensely 😂 OH and also I initially misread part of that and thought you were saying you actually irl do meth and I was like 😳 WHAT DO I SAY TO THAT. HOW DO I HANDLE THIS. Like how do I express like "I wasn't being judgy of people who use substances cause I've been there but I was just being insensitive 😳" And then went back and reread it and was like WHEW, IM JUST AN ILLITERATE FOOL 😂😂😂😂 ejeywhdhrhjwbfbdjshdhdhd I spent like an hour bwign like "IS THE REASON WE GET ALONG BECAUSE THEY'RE ON METH???? WHAT DO I DO WITH THIS INFORMATION??????" hrhehshe I am literally a fuckin idiot it's fine

It's not that I don't fw them, it's more like... Okay so like there is no situation in which I am going to skip a skz song if it comes on shuffle. You will not ever catch me NOT in the mood to listen to Sunshine, if God's Menu comes on we are THROWIN the meager amount of booty meat I got hither and thither, I could be in the happiest mood of my life but if Ex comes on I will stop to SOB. And I'm not like that with most music, so mx just falls into the category of "there is a time and place." Idk why but it just doesn't forcibly grab hold of my heart and ass the way skz always does. I really don't WANT my skz fixation to ever end, but I know that eventually it'll stop giving me dopamine bevause my brain is my worst fucking enemy 🙃 like my arcana fixation is to date the longest running hyperfixation I've ever had, going on almost three years, and I used to not be able to spend every single second of every day thinking about Asra, but now... I just feel nothing when I look at arcana stuff. As you can probz tell by the fact that I hardly post arcana anymore 😂 So I know that eventually all my happiness will end, it always does, I can never stay just as obsessed with something as I was for long. I CANT SHARE THE LIST BECAUSE I DONT *HAVE* TASTE YET 😭 I'm basically just compiling a list of any group someone tells me I should look into, ranked by how strong the kitty purred upon googling pics of them 😂 My mom read my ass to FILTH over txt lmfao she was like "they're not that adorable. Maybe your standard for adorableness has gone down with You Know Who still on hiatus 🤔" bfjwhdhd like MOMMAAAAA THE LIBRARY IS CLOSED 😂 she attacks me any time I even hint at stanning other groups, she is a skz purist and stans skz only, unofficial Momma Stay of All Stays keeping me in check lmfao.

I feel like skz really do follow thru on their promise that they're a safe space for stays, it's nice to see that they hold space for anyone and everyone in their fanbase and do it in a really simple and elegant way, I feel. Like they never make it seem like "okay here are the fans and here are the token weirdos that were only recognizing to make a buck off of them" the way a lot of artists make it feel like 😑 like they don't go out of their way to act like it's some revolutionary act to do the bare minimum of not shitting on certain parts of the fandom, if that makes sense. They feel very "yeah, of course we love all our stays, this is a welcoming space for literally anyone, that's how it should be, that should be normal," instead of like "Hi fans we love you 😊 and special shoutout to you ell gee bee tee folk, make sure to buy my rainbow merch after the show!!!" you know? Like, they're the friends who would never make you feel weird or different for some shit, the friends that take the attention off you if something they know ur sensitive about comes up, instead of weirdly snapping at whoever brought the unfomfy thing up which ruins the mood and makes you feel tiwce as bad, yk? They just give off this vibe that they, and the space they create with their music, is just a genuine and chill place to be and hang out and relax and bond. I feel like they'd be the friend group that is so goofy and sweet and silly and accepting and lovely and always makes you feel loved and excited to be alive 🥺 They are all good noodles 🥺🥺🥺

[felidfavs]

oh man theres that tiktok rn where a nonbinary person is expressing their annoyance with certain nonbinary community subsets and ive been trying SO HARD not to comment on it but hHHHHH.

On one hand i completely get where they are coming from and its definitely A Thing so like no shade to that persons experiences and the video itself isnt outright disrespectful at all but GOD does it rub me so wrong.

like im also not fond of the sound and feel of enby, and people can totally like or dislike it and no one should force it on anyone else for sure! But the only reason it sounds "infantile" is because of the whole "kiki vs boba" concept where certain sounds, along with conventions in the english language like short syllables and stuff being associated with endearments and softer concepts and objects- theres nothing else about it that means that. Even if you take it out of verbal and write it "NB" that removes a lot of the softness- which is why when its a problem its always phoneticized. because "NB" isnt the FEELING of the sound youre hearing.

But that thing where people dont want to be infantalized (valid) being combined with people not wanting to be associated with "weird" "cringe" or "childish" things like associating with concepts like animals or fantasy creatures or objects... ends up feeling SUPER misogynistic and ableist to me?

The people who relate to raccoons and gremlins and shit arent doing it to be quirky and childish. Theyre doing it because of a fucking destroyed relationship with being able to identify with other human beings and reclaiming and playing with that alienation and expression. Theyre doing it because anytime you get remotely into the ballpark of an aesthetic claimed by a large enough group of a certain gender, their identity is once again questioned and people start treating them as THAT and not as THEM.

And like. I get that. I'm not huge on it myself but I literally have multiple "sona" characters based on dead cats because of struggling with derealization and depersonalization and depression and my identity and shit like. i really fucking understand wanting nothing to do with being perceived as anything remotely close to your physical self and thus distancing really hard from "normal human".

And then it also kicks into the ballpark of how a lot of neurodivergent people do similar and thats constantly trashed and bullied for being weird and abnormal. And given how theres a HUGE, HUUUGE problem with how people assume everyone whose nonbinary is afab... and specifically even in that video the person was kinda coming from a "why is that SIDE of the nb demographic like this why are the ""transmasc/amab""* types alienated" like, just, makes me flinch into...

is this another young ""women""(not women) cant be interested or do literally anything without being mocked? cause it has some of that flavour! With a little bit if "these """women""" arent nonbinary they just want to be weird and not beholden to the label of women" its just! mm! dont like it. (* also with the nod that is NB and necessarily any desire to be associated with those labels)

But yea. I donnnttt like it. I get where theyre coming from and super agree that if they feel like they cant be welcomed into the community or actively alienated thats an issue for sure! But I also super dont like the feeling of the video that the problem causing that issue is that theres some sort of monolith nonbinary culture that is cringey and should be minimized or downgraded in any way. From my understanding the joy of being nonbinary is that its usually an intentional departure from being able to be defined by your expression in the world and activities and roles and that you literally can not typify what it means to be nonbinary and thus anything goes.

So to me that person just... needs to find theyre bubble and fortify their comfort and security in what their identity means to them and find people who reinforce that euphoria for them. Cause like. As a nonbinary person who barely does fuck all irl to """seem nonbinary""".... can confirm we exist. No one defines nonbinary. People who try are usually trying simply to other themselves from it, because you cant other yourself or someone else until you have a definition. And othering isnt necessarily bad, but do it with love and intention. Your other is not meant to be your enemy.

[arosnowflake]

About arospec headcannon thing anyone from FMA of your choice and a character from a series/book that you have enjoying latelly!

“character from a series/book that you have enjoying latelly” bold of you to assume I’ve had the attention span to be reading anything anon. the only thing I’ve been reading lately is ‘The Bacchae and Other Works’, demonstrating that I can, in fact, be a smart literary reader every once in a while, but the only play I’ve finished is Ion, and like… sure Athena is aro, but I also feel like headcanoning a greek god as aro is kinda cheating, but in the spirit of ancient greek myths, I’ll be doing my fave aro headcanon, Percy Jackson. He’s going under the cut though, because Ed’s turned out… long. Sorry about that.

Anyway, from FMA, I’m (predicatably) picking Edward Elric, because I can’t and won’t stop:

What arospec identities do they have? (Can be as specific or vague as desired)

I generally headcanon Ed as nebularomantic, though I also really really like the headcanon of him having my exact aro experience because honestly, I like projecting onto him. But I usually go with nebularomantic because I feel like the headcanon possibilities for that are more interesting, so I’ll go with that in this post.

(Or arovague, a little more, maybe? He’s nebularomantic in the sense that a) alexithymia makes figuring out whether he’s feeling platonic or romantic attraction pretty much impossible, and b) he feels like he doesn’t really fit into society’s ideas of romance due to it heavily being tied up into neurotypical standards, and finds the concept of romantic relationships/romantic attraction somewhat inaccessible to him as a result. So he’s kind of a mix between nebularomantic, quoiromantic with the ‘disidentifies with the concept of romantic attraction’ definition, and arovague, I guess, but I think he’d just use nebularomantic because it’s easier and it still encompasses his experiences very well.)

How proud of being arospec are they?

Pretty proud, if only because he knows it pisses people off and he loves doing that. He’s not dropping it into every conversation ever, but he definitely has a couple pins and shows up at pride with the flag painted on his cheeks.

Do they prioritize their arospec identity over any others?

I’d say that on the Minority Identity tier, it’s probably his least important identity to him, definitely after autistic/ADHD (kind of the same thing to him) and nonbinary. It’s still pretty important to him, though. Maybe the only thing he prioritizes it over might be his amputee status, mostly because, since he grew up with a bunch of automail engineers and later living in Rush Valley with Paninya and Winry for a long while, amputees have kinda become the norm for him. However, I can also see that, due to the Circumstances surrounding the loss of his limbs, he might prioritize his physical disability anyway, because he’s had to learn to take pride in it, whereas for the nebularomanticism, that came pretty naturally.

Are they out? If so, how did they come out, and to whom?

He’s out to pretty much everyone, although the only people he actually sat down and had a conversation with were Winry, Paninya, and Al. Winry because she helped him figure out he wasn’t allo (even if he couldn’t pin down his specific aro identity), and Paninya because he brought it up when he proposed starting a qpr to sort of close a sort of ‘qpr’ triad between him, Winry, and Paninya. Al also knows because Ed talked his feelings over with him when he was still questioning, and then Mei found the identity ‘nebularomantic’ and told Al, who told Ed, and that’s how Ed figured out his identity.

How do they feel about romance? Romance-favorable? Romance-neutral? Romance-repulsed? Or does it fluctuate?

Romance-neutral, largely. I mean, he’s married, so that counts as romance-favourable probably, but honestly? He’s mostly neutral to the concept of romance because he doesn’t understand why it exists. It’s pretty much impossible for him to separate neurotypical expectations of romance and love from the concept of romantic relationships/romantic attraction in general, and this was one of the main reasons he and Winry decided to change their relationship from ‘romantic’ to ‘idk what but we’re definitely important to another/queerplatonic-ish’; he constantly felt like he was failing in romance, and Winry had a bit of trouble adjusting her expectations from a generic romantic relationship to one with Ed once they moved from a long distance relationship to a short distance one, so they felt like it was best to change the label. But that said, he’s not repulsed, and he’s not necessarily opposed to the concept of a romantic relationship, he just doesn’t really understand why that exists and has trouble living up to the neurotypical standards it generally entails.

Have they ever experienced arophobia? If so, how?

Some mild stuff, but nothing extreme. He married Winry fairly young, so that warred off all the ‘I can fix you/you need to be fixed’ and ‘you’re horrible and are going to die alone!’ flavours of arophobia, but at the same time, the fact that he married her means that a lot of people deny, ignore, and/or erase his arospec identity. Even showing up in public with an aro/nebularomantic pride flag doesn’t stop people from ignoring it. Since he’s a pretty high-profile figure, this means that it’s especially noticeable.

In addition, he’s also faced some ableist-specific arophobia in people saying that he just doesn’t understand romantic attraction because he’s autistic/ADHD, which, yeah, duh, that’s why he identifies as nebula? But people use that to deny his identity, saying that his aro identity isn’t real because it’s caused/affected by his neurodivergency, or that it must be fixed with therapy. He generally punches those people in the face and they shut up really quickly.

How do they show their arospec pride?

Like I said, he goes to pride and paints his cheeks in the nebularomantic/aromantic pride colours (one on each cheek), and he doesn’t shy away from talking about it in day-to-day life. On the rare occasion that he makes a public appearance such as an interview or as a gala attendee (mostly when he’s lost a bet to Mustang or Ling), he usually takes either a small or big flag with him (depending on the mood he’s in), just to smirk when people get awkward or try to ignore it.

Do they actively try to combat amatonormativity in their daily lives or elsewhere? If so, how?

He constantly corrects people if they call Winry his wife (yes, they’re partners, and yes, they’re married, but ‘wife’ specifically has connotations to him that he doesn’t like), constantly corrects them if they assume he’s alloro, and just generally is an obnoxious arospec fuck who’s not going to let any part of his arospec identity get erased.

Was it easy for them to label themselves arospec, or was there a long period of questioning? How many labels did they have to try before landing on the one they use now?

The questioning process took pretty long, both due to the complicated nature of his identity and alexithymia hindering the process. As I already said, it’s pretty much impossible for him to distinguish neurotypical expectations of romance from romantic attraction/relationships, but he was also aware that societal expectations =/= romantic attraction at its core, so he didn’t know if his confusion surrounding the matter was enough to make him anything but allo. Furthermore, there was the fact that alexithymia made trying to figure out whether what he was feeling was platonic or romantic pretty much impossible: he could barely figure out if he was feeling hungry, fuck if he knew he was having a squish or a crush. There was also the obvious fact that yup, he sure married Winry, and he didn’t want to divorce her because he did want to be in some kind of relationship, but he didn’t know if that was because he was feeling any kind of romantic (or platonic, for that matter) attraction, or because he simply felt at home with her, and yes he did consider that the ‘at home’ feeling might’ve been romantic, but probably not, since he also feels it with Al, but then again it was still very much different with Al, so maybe…?

Anyway, you get the point. Questioning was long and messy, and eventually came to a head when Winry basically said ‘look listen I don’t know what’s going on with you, but you promised not to keep me in the dark anymore, so spit it out’ so he did and she basically said ‘well in my expert alloromantic opinion that’s not very allo’ and he went ‘oh. shit. why didn’t I ask you earlier’ (it was because he’s the world’s smartest idiot). So they sat down and figured things out, and eventually agreed that it would be best if they ‘cancelled’ the romance aspect of their relationship for now, just to figure out what would work for them.

Also Mei was actually the one who found the term ‘nebularomantic’ way later, when she was researching arospec identities after her and Al’s relationship crashed and burned horribly (she definitely has access to a huge library of queer identities in Ling’s palace shut up), and Al heard her say the definition and he went ‘oh shit that’s my brother’, so then he called Ed and that’s how Ed came to identify as nebularomantic.

Would they be interested in a QPR? Why or why not?

He’s in a queerplatonic triad with Winry and Paninya! The relationship is actually kind of complicated, with Winry and Paninya being in a romantic relationship, Ed and Winry being in a committed relationship they’re chosing not to label at the moment, and Paninya and Ed being in the world’s most casual qpr, but the three of them call their triad ‘queerplatonic’ to simplify stuff. He probably wouldn’t necessarily search out a qpr, I think, but he very much loves people (regardless of whether or not it’s platonic or romantic or something else entirely), and he does like living with other people, so he’d probably have fallen into one naturally anyway, even if canon hadn’t played out the way it did.

Final thoughts?

If you think that I won’t headcanon someone as arospec just because they married and had kids at the end of the series then you’re so fucking mistaken.

What arospec identities do they have? (Can be as specific or vague as desired)

Percy’s demiromantic!

How proud of being arospec are they?

Very proud! If you think he ever stops making demi jokes, you are very very wrong. He goes to pride, has pins, has a flag up in his room, and generally won’t shut up about it.

Do they prioritize their arospec identity over any others?

Somewhat! He’s both demisexual and demiromantic, and he doesn’t necessarily separate those two out, but he does prioritize both of those over his demiboy identity, though that’s definitely important to him too and he’s proud of that as well (plus, he appreciates the pun material).

Are they out? If so, how did they come out, and to whom?

He’s out! After he figured it out the first thing he did was kick Annabeth’s door open and go ‘Annabeth Holy Fuck!’, so she knows. His mom and Paul know, because he actually had a Serious Coming Out conversation with them (he knew they’d take it well, but still). Everyone else at camp also knows, because he won’t shut up about it, and also like everyone at Camp Halfblood is queer as fuck, so they just kind of expected something like this sooner or later. The puns are an unwelcome surprise, though.

How do they feel about romance? Romance-favorable? Romance-neutral? Romance-repulsed? Or does it fluctuate?

None of the above, he’s very firmly romance oblivious. He’s not going to catch you flirting with him, he WILL read over romance subplots without picking up on them, he is always the last to catch on to relationships his friends have started, etc. etc. He’s romance-favourable in the sense that he’s currently in a romantic relationship with Annabeth, but honestly, I don’t think he cares enough about romance to use any of the above labels.

Have they ever experienced arophobia? If so, how?

Yeah, he’s had a bunch of assholes tell him that he’s just straight, or that he needs to use demi as a modifier, or that demiromanticism doesn’t exist, etc. etc. However, he’s been lucky enough to have a supportive family and a queer as fuck friendgroup, so it hasn’t been as bad as it could’ve been and he’s had a lot of support.

How do they show their arospec pride?

PUNS (IN THE FORM OF DEMI- JOKES). SO MANY FUCKING PUNS. NEITHER HE NOR I WILL SHUT UP ABOUT THE PUNS.

Do they actively try to combat amatonormativity in their daily lives or elsewhere? If so, how?

Sort of? He’s loudly demi, which combats amatonormativity pretty much automatically, but he’s not exactly the type to go around educating everyone about the concept of amatonormativity or anything. That’s what Annabeth is for.

Was it easy for them to label themselves arospec, or was there a long period of questioning? How many labels did they have to try before landing on the one they use now?

Honestly, he just sort of assumed that the world was playing a prank on him regarding this ‘falling in love at first sight’ thing, or in general, this ‘falling in love’ thing. He’s never had a crush on anyone before Annabeth, and was honestly halfway convinced that the concept was fake until her, but he also never really analyzed that? He just kind of… assumed that was normal. Calypso was the first real wrench in that theory, but he chalked it up to her being not human and went about his life.

Aaand then he overheard someone talking about being demi, got massively confused for a second, asked for clarification before, you know, calling a satyr, and realized ‘oh hey that’s me!’.

So all in all, the questioning process was pretty straight forward, just hampered by him being very oblivious.

Would they be interested in a QPR? Why or why not?

Hmmm, maybe? I think he’s satisfied with his romantic relationship with Annabeth, but I also don’t necessarily think he’d be opposed to one. I don’t think he’d search one out, but if someone asked, he’d probably be willing to give it a go.

Final thoughts?

This was my first ever aro headcanon and I can and WILL die on this hill.

[jauneflowers]

Birthdays and Being Known

This blog post starts as my previous one did. With an inciting incident and a large, wacky realization. How exciting.

Thursday I got a parcel in the post. That has been a little more of a regular occurrence recently due to the fact that it was my birthday! Exciting, right? For anyone, a birthday is an excellent time to reflect, but this birthday in particular marks a rather large gender milestone for me. This I will delve into shortly, but back to what started this post, the post.

This particular postal arrival was significant because it had a cowboy boot on the front. A green, marker-drawn pointed toe boot with the classic cowpoke embellishments and denoted me as the ‘birthday babe’. I could not, for the life of me, think who this was from as the return address was not one I recognised. So, like any normal person, I opened it right away! Inside was a pink tote (hell yes) with a cowpoke print (hell yes!) and various little cowpoke goodies (hell yes!!!!!!). The items were by Morewenna Farrell (You can find Morwenna on Instagram as @morwennafarrell_illustrations, or through her etsy https://www.etsy.com/uk/shop/MorwennaFarrell). After some reading I realised it was sent on behalf of a dear friend!! Now you’re probably thinking, “Wow Jayne, this is very nice and all, but why are you telling me, the reader, about this moment?” Well. To receive a gift like this was wonderful. I love cowpoke aesthetics and the colour pink, so the two together was a real combination of these. It made me feel like the brilliant friend that had sent me this really knew me well and it made me realise how birthdays we really tied up in being known. Furthermore, it made me realise how birthdays are also tied up, for me, in aspects and symbols of my Non-binary identity, such as the aesthetics you hold dear to yourself- for me this would be Cowpoke/Western regalia. The mental gymnastics of which I will take you through a little further in just a moment, but for now I want to delve a little further into topics around my birthday. If that, or discussion of Alcoholism, gender and being closeted is not your cup of tea, stop reading now!

I want to start off by saying that birthdays have been historically and notoriously bad for me. Why? Well, when it is annually ruined by parental alcoholism and trauma, you come to expect the worst from your birthday. For a large portion of my teenage birthdays, what I really wanted, more than any gift, event or frilly whatevers was to have an anxiety-free day. To see the passage of time go by where I didn’t have to worry about wine or humiliation, that I could speak to the person I loved the most and spend time with her knowing she would be sober, happy and lucid. With this in mind, my first, memorable, wonderful birthday was my 18th. The actual day itself, admittedly, was shit. I remember sobbing and feeling like the most ungrateful child in the world as I begged for sobriety from my mother and she, in turn, told me I was spoilt. In complete contrast, a few days later, I had dinner with my friends at a local restaurant to celebrate the milestone. I wore clothes that made me extremely gender euphoric, I got to eat food that I loved and spent the time with people that I cherished. The true moment of the night is when a cake was presented to me, baked by two of my nearest and dearest. It was shaped like a geode and, inside, the cake slices were lemon flavoured and rainbow coloured it was several of my favourite things all at once.

 At the time I had gotten increasingly into collecting crystals and had shared my delight at seeing a cake that was made to look like a geode (a particular favourite gem of mine) a month or so prior to my birthday. At the time I was also owning my gay identity more openly and proudly everyday, and having my friends recognise these two parts of me really touched me. I remember crying. I’m crying while writing this! I remember repeating over and over, “You know me! You really know me!” I’m not sure if any of them knew about my horrible past with birthdays, but in that moment I felt listened to, seen and known. I felt loved. There is extreme healing value in having these integral factors of yourself recognised by others. To feel this amount of love from everyone around me made me feel like the current home climate I was living in could be escaped. Even more so, it helped me start to relate having birthdays with feeling like those around me truly cared, and knew me in a way no one else could.

Jump forward to 22.

As mentioned, earlier in the week I had received that lovely cowboy bundle from one of the masterminds behind the gorgeous geode cake. Cowboys are especially important to me because I feel the aesthetics are somewhat relational to my gender identity, but that is a whole other blog post in itself! To the point, in the weekend to follow I was treated to a delightful day (appropriately socially distanced) by my closest circle. I got to pick American Cereal (I’m a lowkey expert in the stuff, dontchaknow, this is thanks to the Empty Bowl, which I listen to get to sleep. You can listen to them at www.bowl.rest ). If you’re wondering, I chose Trix Fruity Shapes as pictured, I had to see what all the fuss was about.

 My friends took me to a Barbie capsule collection (pictured) and I got myself the most tacky and wonderful Cowgirl Barbie shirt and they treated me to a wonderful ‘experience’ ice cream. 

The trip was topped off by my partner cooking a yummy dinner and the whole day I did not have to worry about a thing- not where I was going, what I would be eating or who I would be seeing. My gorgeous, fantastic, intelligent friends sorted that for me. The key to all of this was how every moment was spectacularly tailored to me, esspecially since all of the days experiences were markers of how I liked to establish my Nonbinary identity. As mentioned, cowboys have a special place in the abstract concept that is my gender, so does Barbie. It’s a lot of gender nonsense, there’s no need to get it completely.  However, in acknowledging these things as a part of my interests, my friends also acknowledged parts of my gender identity too. All of these fun to-do items might have seemed vastly unrelated to do in a day, but grouping them together had a symbolic nature to it that I don’t think they even realised it had.  During a pandemic, I would of course have just been happy if I had ended up with a digital well wish here and there, but the effort and time put together to craft a whole day with me in mind really sealed my thoughts on being seen, known, as well as having my gender (or lack thereof) recognised.

I’ve come to realise that, in the strangest way possible, my gender is tied up with my birthday, beyond the usual malarkey around a baby’s sex and birth. Birthdays are about celebrating a person, giving them well-wishes because you’re thinking of them. You may give them things they like because you know them enough to know what they’d want. The structure is inherently built on the idea of being known. In my opinion, being known and having your interests highlighted by others has an intrinsic link to transness, even further so to Nonbinary identity. A lot of the interests and aesthetics I enjoy are wrapped up in the conceptualisation of my gender. Cowpokes. American cereal. Ice-cream. They become abstract concepts that others see and connect to me, and they (and many others) are themes and aesthetics I consider markers of gender. Due to Nonbinary identity being incredibly personal to the individual, these things being celebrated with me, by my friends, was also a recognition of my identity as a whole.

I mentioned a gender milestone earlier in this text. That is because it has now been 10 years since I found the right language to describe my gender. I say that, instead of any alternative, because I personally believe describing it any other way is disingenuous and plays into cisnormative nonsense that I’m not that interested in. It is relevant to these ideas around being known and birthdays, because up until that 18th birthday I often concealed true interests or facets of my identity because I had been put into a setting where those that needed to care didn’t and I worried that lifting the lid on even the most tangentially related idea relating to my gender might result in transphobia and social punishment. In turn, birthdays where everyone turned the spotlight on me were incredibly nerve wracking and part of a cisnormative pantomime, because I didn’t feel comfortable telling people my real interests. To get to 22 and instead have a whole day where I can feel gender euphoric and comfortable in my own skin makes my birthday very special indeed.

This current birthday was great, but not just because I received material goods. 21 and 22’s birthdays were ones to remember because I got to spend it with people I love and feel their love, even through the digital glow of a screen due to Covid. I mention my 21st birthday because I think that is where the seed, planted at age 18, of birthdays and gender really started to sprout, but it didn’t flower until 22. I wonder what would have happened and how I would have turned out if this idea of Nonbinary identity and birthdays had been planted at age 12? If society let me feel safe enough to be myself? Would I have had more positive birthdays, despite my home situation? Speculation does not help my 12 year old self, so I will save myself from fretting on the topic.

Instead, I like to think about what I would say to my 12 year old self, now that I have this realisation. First of all, I think I’d give them whatever obscure anime cosplay their little heart had desired, and lectured them on safe binding. But on a more serious note, I think I would want to look into their eyes and say, “22 does happen. Things are a different type of terrible, but you are free and that is important. The overwhelming feeling is you are known, and you are loved by people you intensely love back. Your friends are great now, but don’t lose touch with reality about how you treat them. Treasure the friendships you have at 18, they will be some of your greatest friends. Oh. I also love you a lot. I know you’re waiting for someone to say that to you and mean it. And I do. I do mean it. You’re Nonbinary and great and loved and birthdays get way cooler.”

Phew. All of this aside, I think more stock needs to be put into the abstracts and concepts that make up Nonbinary identity. In the future, I hope to write a little more about the ‘things’ that make up my Nonbinary identity, such as music, fashion, art prints, mugs… In turn, I’d like you to think beyond boring regular language around gender and consider what makes you the gender you are. I have come to 22 with a large, abstract idea of my gender, collected from 12 onwards… and I hope to keep collecting until my last birthday.

[may-shepard]

figures that someone who claims that ace folks are inherently lgbt is a goddam johnlock shipper. listen. let's say i go to a place that is non mixed. it means only queer people are allowed, for our safety. for our comfort. to not be in contact with cishets for once. and now imagine that a cis heteronormative ace who's never known systemic oppression waltz in, thinking they can reclaim queer just cause they don't like to fuck. like really? seriously? i'm ace myself, and i cannot accept this.

It *does* figure, doesn’t it? Johnlock is a gorgeous ship, and inclusion is a wonderful thing, and I love both. 

That + at the end of lgbt+ is important, friend, here’s why:

Imagine a world in which all people who have suffered under the sex gender system, are accepted under a generous, loving umbrella to sit down and share together. We can acknowledge that everyone’s suffering is not, perhaps, the exact same flavour as more traditionally defined lgbt folks, but we can also see that it’s similar enough that they sympathize and understand and maybe benefit a bit from the ways in which the queer community has opened up that system to examination. 

Those people are allies. 

You know what allies can do? They can speak on behalf of their fellow humans, and, if they are cis and het, they can do so in spaces that won’t necessarily give credit to other flavours of queer. Strategy, friend. That’s really important. 

You know what else allies can do? They can add numbers to the sheer weight of people who know that the sex gender system is oppressive bullshit. They can help dismantle it. Hope, friend. That’s what we get by being inclusive.

You know what happens when you divide your world up into little exclusive categories and draw lines that you deem uncrossable? You play into the very same system of oppression that wants to keep you down. If you’ve decided it’s a good idea to think that you can’t possibly ally with those people over there, or you want to actively discourage your brothers, sisters, and nonbinary sibs from lending their voices to causes you believe in because they aren’t good enough, or their point of view isn’t valid, or they don’t belong--you’ve weakened the entire project. Why the fuck would you accept that? Why would you promote it? 

Dividing us is the very method that our oppressors use. 

The + in lgbt+ includes allies, and that means ANYONE who wants to help or understands or aligns themselves in a sympathetic fashion. Why wouldn’t you want to include them? 

My cis het ace friends have shown nothing but sympathy and understanding for the thornier aspects of my queer experience. They get it, they get me, and I have nothing but respect for them. They do not have the same experiences as non-ace people, and therefore, they are part of my queer community. If you want to keep them out of your spaces, well, that’s on you. 

Most urgently, how can you denigrate part of yourself like this? You’re ace, you say? Hey, it’s pride month! Perhaps you should consider showing some.