#and every time i think i’m normal i see him and i go oh noooooo and then we are back in the hole. charmed.

[walkingstackofbooks]

DS9 5x04 Nor The Battle To the Strong thoughts (I’m re-watching, so beware spoilers for future episodes!) [9 Sept ‘23]

"Aren't you going to take notes?" Oh, Julian. 🤣 I mean, to be fair, Jake is the one who asked to write a report on him, so it's not outrageous for Julian to think Jake might want to listen to him.

Jake's internal monologue is great

"These people need you." That is the way to get Julian to do a thing, how does Jake know how to manipulate Julian so well? (I guess tbf it's a solid shout for manipulating any of these Starfleet types...)

Although, looking at Julian, I don't really think that he is listening to Jake, it seems more as though he's just trying to calculate what the right call here is.

"You're being ridiculous. Why does pregnancy always make men hysterical." "Excuse me. This is not the first baby I've had." "Excuse me. Keiko had Molly." "It's not up to you to tell Kira what she can and cannot do." You tell him, ladies!

When Quark is agreeing with you, you know you're on the wrong side, Miles XD

"That means they'll be home by Thursday. Doesn't give you much time to snoop through Jake's things." Dax is just sometimes so good. Poor Sisko, though, that cannot have been an easy decision.

I love the way this field hospital scene is shot, allowing Bashir to blend straight into the background of the confusion, and leaving the focus on Jake just standing there, completely out of place.

"I was planning to change form midair and become a Tarkalean condor." "Ah, that would have been impressive." You get the impression Sisko is clinging onto any distraction he can in this conversation.

"Humanoid bodies are so fragile." "Yes they are." OHHH, Sisko says that so softly. 😭😭 Bless him. He's so aware Jake may not be okay. 💔💔

"But Jake is 18 years old. Does your father still worry about you?" Awww, Odo <3 my heart that you don't realise parental worry is normal.

Julian, you idiot, how did you think "I'll start with a lateral incision across the thigh joint" was going to make Jake feel?! ... I guess he has been around field medics who have probably been making those sort of dark jokes all day.

oH, he chases after Jake so gently <3 :3

"There are many situations in life that test a person's character. Thankfully, most of them don't involve death and destruction." :3 I love him

"Medical personnel are fair game as far as Klingons are concerned. They'll even kill wounded right in their beds." Every time this sort of thing comes up I can't help but think of the outrage manufactured over Worf "killing civilians" back in his trial episode.

Oh, Jake. This was not the exciting experience you thought you were going to find, is it...

"And now you think bringing me back is going to make everything all right." Oh Jake. *You are not a soldier.* You're an untrained kid. This guy is dying and knows nothing about you. Of course he's judging you more harshly. But it's really not true that your actions were "wrong", you're not meant to be in this situation in the first place.

"If this story has an unhappy ending I would never have forgiven you." <3 Dax and Sisko friendship is always so important to me

"I'm so sorry." "It's alright." "No it's not. I should never have brought you here." Ohhhh these two ❤️❤️❤️ I wish we saw more of them interacting, there's barely any Jake & Julian fanfic 😭 [yes, I could write one, but shhh, I have a long to-do list, okay? 😅]

"I'm a coward." Oh noooooo. Jake. Baby boy. It's okay to be scared.

"Something's eating at you, I can see it." Julian is SO gentle and I cannot, I love him for this just so much 😭

"Leave me alone." "Okay, if that's what you want. But if you want to talk, you know where to find me." Ohhh. Julian looks so stressed -- he doesn't know what he should do to look after Jake, and I'm sure he's not feeling like he's doing the best job.

Oh, Jake. If your dad was here he would have ignored you telling him to leave you alone, wouldn't he? But Julian's not your dad, he's not going to force his way in.

The way Julian is stroking Jake's head as he comes to :333

"I'm proud of you, son." Ahhh, yes, Jake FINALLY gets that hug he's been needing all episode, and is able to accept that praise and smile about it. Ohhh, my heart <3

(Now can Julian get a hug from Sisko, please?)

(Please?)

[zichiwithagun]

I swear to god I want my classmates dead on the streets. I have already said multiple times I’m not into man and educated them the aromantic spectrum at least ten times and said I feel uncomfortable(toned it down a little I actually feel sickness in my stomach and genuine disgust) being shipped with other guys but noooooo they just have to because “it’s just a joke”

I always try to explain myself after these “misunderstandings” but they all just purposefully misinterpret what I said and keep doing the same thing. It gets me riled up and I will start to raise my voice, and they’ll start saying “omg you’re acting all embarrassed and trying to deny your feelings” “omg your all red” FUCK YES I’M ALL RED I’M PISSED AS SHIT. “You know it’s just a one-sided crush from him” obviously not and if he somehow does it’s disgusting to me.

And when I stopped talking they’ll be like” why are you being silent are you shy?” Oh so talking too much is not ok, talking normally is not ok, and not talking is also not ok? Then what the fuck am I supposed to do? Kill myself in public?! My defense mechanism is yelling “I don’t want a man I like women” and y’all are like “ok ok I get it so you’re going on a date with him later” and yes I did yell “I love women” on the street right in front of the MRT station.

“Stop acting you are literally laughing and blushing” Yeah laughing in disbelief and embarrassment because you guys are talking so damn loud in a place full of other students I don’t know.I literally hate every stranger I see on the street what did you expect me to do? I don’t get it I never even talked to that guy and this whole shit started because someone asked “who like XXX” and “rank these four from first to last”

Yeah imagine your paranoid ass got something new the think about because of stupid shit like this fuck my life I want to do euthanasia right here right now.

at first I try to act dumb like I always do, acting like I don’t know anything about this even though I knew it since the moment it started(I hate it when people say my name for no reason. I always get distracted when I hear anything that is remotely similar to my name). I mean acting like a fucking lunatic who is basically ignorant of everything in a childish demeanor is the best way to keep you away from trouble, but they they just have to bring it up in possible situations, don’t they?

I don’t hate my classmates they are just some teenagers and they are really fun to be with but seriously fuck them all. I mean I do like them but walking out of my house is already stressful for me and they just have to make it worse.

[nerdyenby]

Orange time :D I’m watching Callum

Pregame

HBomb94 now wanted for murder, good for him ig

“That’s it, I’m taking matters into my own hands” terrifying, thanks Pete

Why is Callum talking about the availability of drugs in the United Kingdom???

I don’t even know how many people are in this call but all of them are bullying Callum lmao

“Habomba!!!” “It wasn’t me” “It says it was you!” “It’s a lie” “oh, sorry” them <333

Tubbo showing up and causing chaos is just as funny the second time

Tubbo realizing it’s May is even funnier the second time, I’m losing it

“Tubbo’s gone now” he’s freaking dead

Scott is such a guy, he has the intimidation factor while still being irrevocably likable

“That was the most eventful pre-MCC I’ve ever had” fr, I loved it so much

Tubbo gave Callum his stream key 😭😭😭

“Gotta be honest, I need your friendship more than I need $5k” and everyone going ‘um actually…’ 😂

Sausage asking to be sand daddy just because he wants to be called “daddy” 😂😂😂

WHAT is Shane and Callum’s dynamic here /pos

Rocket Spleef

Sausage’s explanation of his understanding isn’t wrong but it just sounds so off lol

Them just slandering all the other Minecraft events is so real, I’m sure they’re great but they’ll never be MCC <333

Everything Kara says gives Callum a flashback lol

Callum popped off!!

The MCC meta of alcohol 😂😂😂

The way the “reafy” predicting who won the game was actualy accurate

The way I didn’t think of Sausage and Callum as being in the same sphere but they have nearly the same friend group

We love them appreciating the lore :))

TGTTOSAWAF

Callum throwing his chicken in the middle being the deciding vote lmao

“I got 7th, thanks Shane” so true

Callum did so good for having never seen the map before

Yo Sausage!!!!

Tgttosawaf worst game real, it’s still good but comparatively it’s the least enjoyable

Sausage improving every round my beloved <333

Kara plotting revenge, as she should

Shane top three every time??? He’s inshane!!

When you put on the suit (purpled skin) you take on a burden greater than yourself (getting targeted)

Kara and Sausage noooooo

Your vote matters, Shane, cmon

Parkour Warrior

Graphic appreciation is so based <333

Shane’s keyboard 😭😭😭

The Hannah Montana movie reference lol

Whatever the heck Shane and Callum’s dynamic is, it’s everything

I know I’ve heard Sausage’s normal voice before but it caught me so off guard there lmao

It’s disgusting how easy this is for Callum

Finally, someone talking about the bees

HES DISGUSTING!!! /pos

HES TOO GOOD AT THE GAME!!!!

Kara 😂

The points are a lil silly, we move

Grid runners is not skippable, how dare you

Parkour Tag

Callum chickening out 😂😂😂

Sausage is giving such good comms!!

Nevermind lol

It sure is… going!!

Gosh darn it, when you see a “biggest comeback” breakdown blame Shane and Callum

I will NOT stand for this gr slander

Grid Runners

It’s not pronounced “boy,” there’s a u there for a reason lol

They’re killing it!!!

Kara accidentally cheating is killing me 😂

Those prison comms!!!!

First in Uppies!!!

“We’re so smart and big brain and maybe handsome” “We’re so handsome” so true sausage :))

One of my favorite things coming out of this MCC is everyone counting on the builders to know how to use scaffolding and them just saying “no, it SUCKS”

Consistency pog

Ok yeah, I just do not understand grid scoring

Callum’s predictions only take Ls

Kara and Shane having banger opinions

Meltdown

Shane leaking the script, rip

They played that so well!!

Callum jumping right into the lava lol

Head pat exchange at Vidcon Paris fr

Blue just appearing behind them was terrifying

Kara popping off!!!

Shane’s Kermit impression my beloved

Stay with the team Callum 😭😭😭

Purpled popping off

Survival Games

They just be makin’ sounds, so based of them tbh

“Your choice, you know I’ll follow you to the ends of the earth” Callum and Shane sure are dudes, pals even

HOW did Callum make it out of that alive lmao

“We were tenth and we’re not tenth anymore” “There’s still time, king!!” so true

Sands of Time

Shane stopping everything to say hi HBomb, so based

Callum they/them truthing Kara??

Callum “All Things MCC” PK didn’t know there’s a grace period with the sand timer? L /lh

How is he so bad at sot

I love Callum, I swear, he’s just so easy to make fun of

Sausage has such good comms for a first time sand keeper :))

They have so much sand what the heck

It is physically painful how many times Callum has looked directly at that one piece of sand

I love all the field trips this MCC, so many groups traveling together :D

The carpet trails in this blu path are insane, I’d love to study it under a microscope /pos

���Scott about to have to pay all the shipping to Spain” that’s such a good point actually, though I think shipping to America is probably more lol

Sausage did amazing!!! We love his team hyping him up :)))

Dodgebolt

I love seeing everyone rooting for red :D

That is just… not true, Kara 😂😂😂

So true Callum, the void hole in the merch store was peak mcm energy

Sausage for mcc spanish team 2k23

TIL Sausage was Cuban, though tbf I’ve never watched him before and I thought he was from Spain for some reason

This team was so fun :)))

Capitan is a menace /pos

Sausage’s Oli impression 😂

The game ended and they all collectively lost their minds, as they should

CALLUM SMACKTALKING GRID RUNNERS?!??

Shane and Callum sending Tubbo their stream keys and asking Scott if he’d do the same and his response being “God no”

[skylarsblue]

✦I have more C.o.D Quotes✦

Gaz: How’s your head? Y/N: Well, I haven’t had any complaints yet. Gaz: …excuse me? Y/N: Oh uh, I think I’ll live-

-- (Somewhere in Greece with a fuck ton of cats) Ghost, watching Price sneeze every five seconds: What a catastrophe. Gaz: No. Y/N: PFFT- Soap: Stop, no, don’t encourage him. Y/N: Ahem! Right, right. Not funny. Ghost: I am purrfectly capable of being funny. Y/N: *struggling* Gaz: Sometimes I wish you didn’t have a mouth.

-- Just a scene of Y/N taking out a bottle of whiskey, unscrewing they cap, then putting one of those lid caps on. (Like the ones you have on those fancy Gatorades) Taking a huge swig and closing the cap on it as Soap watches in amusement, & Price in fear.

-- Ghost: Quit messing with my hand. Soap: Quit messing with my hair! Y/N: Quit being gay. Gaz: PFFFT Y/N: Both problems solved.

-- Y/N, on the comms: You have thirteen seconds before the building fucking explodes you hot topic wannabe- Ghost: … Y/N: And you green gumball son of a bitch. Gaz: Wha-?! Soap: *WHEEZE* Y/N: You have done nothing but ruin my life; I hope you both die.

-- Soap, Gaz, & Y/N: *cackling* Laswell, losing at poker: I miss my wife, Price. Price: *places down cards* Laswell: I miss my wife.

-- Ghost, overstimulated & a lil drunk: AHHHHHH MY BONES Y/N: *frantically getting headphones* Soap, drunk: *wheeze* Gaz: Ah. I know I should’ve- *dies coughing* Soap: *more wheezing*

-- Graves *kicks in door* WHO POSTED MY NUDES ON TWITTER DOT COM?! Y/N: SUCK IT, BITCH BOY!! Alejandro: *aggressively slapping his leg while silently laughing* Rudy: *pointing and laughing* Valeria, in handcuffs: Ha, dumbass.

-- Graves: Bitch, you are gonna get in this car or I’m popping between ya eyes! Valeria: Hey, I know you. I saw your dick on Twitter! Graves: NOOOOOO Y/N: AHAHA!

-- Graves: C’mon Johnn- Y/N: *chucks a rock at Graves’ head* Graves: OW, WHY?! Y/N: NO JOHNNY FOR YOU! He goes by Soap and we respect that! Graves: Ghost calls him that! Y/N: CAUSE GHOST HAS PERMISSION, you EARN the right to Johnny! And I will be damned if anyone else earns the right before me. I been working my ass off to get the Johnny privilege and you will NOT get it for free! Soap, who’s just been standing there the whole time: *leans to Gaz* Have they actually been taking it that seriously? Gaz: Yeah. They’ve also been working real hard to try and get the right to call Captain “John”. Shoulda seen their face when I said they can call me Kyle. Soap: That’s…really sweet, I’ll give’em permission later. Gaz: Why not now? Soap: I wanna see that bastard get chewed out some more.

-- Y/N, perched on Price’s desk: Captain. Price: *sigh* Y/N: Captain I crave violence.

-- Ghost: Your family line deserves to die with you, only shame it didn’t end before you. Graves: ….I just sat down!

-- Y/N: You’re like…the human incarnation of crumbs in the bed. Graves: Oh c’MON THAT’S REAL MEAN Ghost: It’s true though. Y/N: The kinda crumbs that you keep swiping away but somehow they never leave- Graves: Alright! You know what- Soap: Like getting in bed after going to the beach. Gaz: Sand in the bed, yeah. Feels like that when he talks. Graves: I’M JUST GONNA FUCKIN LEAVE! Y/N: *watches him go* Annnd now the sheets have been changed. Ghost: Clean from filth. Alejandro: You all are so cruel and it’s perhaps the funniest thing I’ve ever seen.

-- Gaz: Things Gucci with you? Y/N: It’s Goodwill at best, my guy. Price: I don’t know what this means but I feel like I should be concerned.

-- (Mild NSFW Jokie Time) Gaz: You alright? You been zoned out. Y/N: Hm? Nah I’m good, just having depraved thoughts. Gaz: Depraved, you say? Soap: Oh do tell. Y/N: You just…you ever see someone and think “they have pretty eyes”. And that’s normal. But then the little devil in the back of ya skull goes “yeah they’d look good rolled back”. Or am I just a whore? Gaz: That is depraved. Soap: Got a good point though.

-- Y/N: Ooo! Look! Old pictures of Captain, this one’s dated. You would’ve been…19 in this one. Lemme s-…… Gaz: Lemme see! ….. Price: What? Y/N: …..you were a whore, weren’t you captain? Gaz: That’s the face of an arrogant bastard who fucks regularly. Price: I…might’ve been a bit of a playboy. Y/N: And I would’ve fallen for it you god damn bastard, no ones fACE SHOULD BE THAT NICE!

-- Valeria, painting her nails: I might kill my ex, not the best idea. His new girlfriend’s next- Alejandro: ….. Rudy: ….should I be worried? Alejandro: Move away quietly and pray.

-- Ghost: For the record this is self destructive. Soap, chugging his 5th energy drink in the past hour: For the record, I’m aware of that.

-- MILF!Y/N: Boys. Bed, now. I wanna talk to your captain. Price: No, boys stay. Please stay- Y/N: Go. Price: Stay. The boys: *concern, panic, perhaps a bit of fear* Y/N: Go! Price: Stay! Y/N: You go! Soap: *speed walking* Price: Soap, stay! Y/N: NOW! Gaz: *slowly backing away* Price: Gaz, don’t move! Y/N: YOU GO! Price: SIMON- Ghost: *leaving*

-- Ghost: What was Plan A? Soap: …don’t fuck up. Ghost: And what was Plan B? Gaz: Don’t fuck up Plan A. Ghost: And what did you do? Y/N: …fucked up plan a- Ghost: YOU FUCKED UP PLAN A-

-- Ghost: What’s rule number one? Soap, with dynamite: Party! Ghost: NO! No, not party! No!

-- Graves: How about after this, we get a drink? Y/N: …I would rather gouge out my eyes and blindly navigate a way to turn them into earrings than ever be anywhere alone with you. Soap, grinning: Ooooo brutal! Ghost: Karma.

-- Ghost: Wait…Johnny’s into me? Like…he LIKES me?? Gaz: Oh Si…you poor, sad, dense mother fucker.

-- Ghost: At least nothing of importance was lost. Laswell: …Graves was kidnapped. Ghost: I know. I said what I said. Y/N: Nothing of value was lost but we did shed off some trash! Ghost: Precisely.

-- Ghost: These lights make me wanna pull my eyes out and eat them. Medic!Y/N: *turns lights off in favor of a lamp* …alright, so you’re autistic, good to know.

-- Ghost: Should I get my reading glasses? Y/N: Oh no no, this isn’t an eye test. It’s a GAY test. Now tell me, *holds up picture of Farah & Graves; Price being 1* Number one, or number two? Ghost: Number one?… Y/N: Interesting. *holds up Farah & Soap, Soap being 2* Okay now number one, or number two? Ghost: *gasp* Y/N: Number two, right? Ghost: Maybe I am gay?

-- Waitress: So, I’ve gotta ask, I’m really curious. 141: ? Waitress: Have any of you ever used like…the military language in bed? Soap: Naaaah. Y/N: No, I don’t- PFFFT, I- *wheeze* I’m sorry I’m imagining it- Gaz: *biting back laughs* Y/N: “You gonna come?” Affirmative. *laughs* Soap: *WHEEZE* Gaz: *cackling* Price: Oh lord- Gaz, snickering: Picking up speed. Y/N: COPY- *Laughter x100* The entire team: *giggling like hyenas* Ghost: Uh, that’s a no. I don’t think we’ve done that.

-- Price: *smiles at Soap & Gaz being stupid* Y/N: I like when you smile. Price: …huh? Y/N: Your smile, I like it. Makes your eyes crinkle up and your beard makes you look like a cuddly bear. You should smile more. Price, internally on the verge of tears: *fond sigh* Get back to drills, soldier. Y/N: Yes sir!

-- Ghost: *minding his fucking business* Y/N: You have pretty eyes. Ghost: *chokes on air* Pardon? Y/N: You have pretty eyes. Ghost: No I-…they’re just brown. Y/N: So? Your eyes don’t have to be blue or green to be pretty. They’re pretty because they’re expressive, and when the sun hits them they look like syrup. I like’em best when we’re all at a bar. They get brighter then. Ghost: Ghost: …stop talking, sergeant. Y/N: Copy that, L.T! <3

-- Gaz: *laughing at something on his phone* Y/N: You have a great laugh. Gaz: Hm? Oh…really? Y/N: Mhm. It’s cute, comes from your chest. I’ve never heard you laugh in anyway that’s not genuine. Really fills the room with joy. Gaz: Dude, you’re gonna make me all soft with words like that. Y/N: All according to plan!

-- Soap: *rambling about something* Y/N: *listening intently* Soap: Then-…ah, I been talkin’ at you this whole time, eh? Should probably quiet down. Y/N: No no, I like your voice! Soap: Eh? Y/N: It’s super energetic and loud, and when you tell a joke or talk about something you love, it’s like you can hear your smile. It’s really fun to listen to. I like when you talk! Soap: *inhale* You’re gonna make me cry- Y/N: I have tissues!

-- König: *fidgeting* Y/N: *takes his hands* You have beautiful hands. König: Wh- Huh?? No they are not. Y/N: They are too! König: Nien, they’re rough and calloused, they break a lot of things… Y/N: They also pet stray cats, make the best coffee on base, and create crotchet works of art. They also mend wounds pretty well. Yeah they fire guns but that doesn’t make them less beautiful. König: *he’s actually crying* …Danke. Y/N: Don’t mention it!

-- Rudy: *rolling his shoulder* Y/N: Anyone ever tell you that you have great shoulders? Rudy: Hm? Oh uh…no, I don’t believe so. Y/N: Well you do! Rudy: Ah, gracias. When I was younger I wanted them to be broader, sometimes now I wish they were more narrow. Can never really be happy with’em, you know? Y/N: Well I think you should be. They’re strong! *gently pats his shoulders* They hold a lot of weight, metaphorically and physically. And even when they’re weighed down, you shoulder it and keep moving. You’re real good at that! I like your shoulders. Rudy, prepared to die for them: …gracias. Y/N: No problem! Now c’mon, the guys are waitin’ for us!

-- Y/N: You have good collarbones. Alejandro: What was that? Y/N: Sorry, I know that’s real specific, but I think your collarbones are pretty. It’s like…the rest of you is bulky and strong, rugged. Then you have these delicate bones. I’m probably being too poetic but it’s like a subtle nod to your gentler side, just, built into your body. Alejandro: …you have a lovely way with words, camarada. Y/N: Thank you! I appreciate that!!

[twstedstoryshop]

Dire Crowley With A Bird-of-Prey Wife

Doing something a little different here. Wanted to have a break in the requests to do something very self-indulgent. Hope you all don’t mind as I rant and rave about this idea that stuck in my brain for a long while. -Shopkeep

So picture this, it’s a normal day at NRC. Boys are milling about, minding their own business then a couple start to notice, hey something is circling in the sky. At first, everyone writes it off as some bird just hanging around. Then the bird shape starts to get bigger and bigger… Oh my god, is it actually casting a shadow?

The small group of students that notice this grows and everyone starts to panic a bit. Is some creature coming in to attack!? Crowley happens to be out around the same time and notices the commotion. One of the students, probably Ace or Grim, is screeching for the Headmage to do something. This thing is moving way too fast for even a student to take aim and cast magic at it.

Then suddenly, Crowley is rushing forward and spreads his arms out towards the beast. Everyone is shocked. Is their Headmage being a hero!? Is he going to selflessly put himself between danger and his beloved students!? The students cry out dramatically. “Headmage noooooo…!” “Oooooh~! It’s my wife!!!” A beat of silence to digest. “YOUR WHAT!?!”

(More headcanons under cut)

Crowley is literally knocked off his feet as this massive bird tackles him to the ground, hat flying off, and winds whipping everywhere. A crowd of students are gawking as Crowley is laughing with this bird churring and preening him. 

For reference, I shamelessly imagine her looking like Marahaute from Rescuers Down Under because c’mon. Tiny blackbird husband with a huge golden majestic eagle wife. I’m deceased.

So anyway, student population right now is thinking, “Oh god, our Headmage is legit married to a big bird… He’s actually insane…” But then things start to shift. Winds pick up again, a flurry of golden feathers and light, and there is a woman now holding Crowley like he weighs nothing.

Wife is BUILT like an Amazon. I’m talking nearly on the cusp of being 7’00” tall, solid abs, and biceps that look like they can crush an apple. Everyone has to catch themselves again from the shock. She also has a mask similar to Crowley but it’s shaped to be an eagle of course.

“I didn’t know you were visiting! You should have messaged me!” “Haha! Sorry, my love. I really wanted to surprise you!”

Sets him down gently, dusts off his hat, and happily puts it back on him. Crowley is all sunshine and flowers while everyone is still in silence. He’d proudly show off the students who were present and Mrs. Crowley is so happy to meet them.

Course, she gets whisked away as Crowley pretty much acts like an excitable bird, strutting his stuff, and showing off his school to the wifey. This is one of the few times Crowley is super on his best behavior.

Even the staff are flabbergasted because they had NO idea that Crowley was married in the first place. Much less even capable of getting hitched.

Absolutely act like an annoying pair of lovebirds that won’t stop cooing over each other and being lovey-dovey. Every time Mrs. Crowley compliments him, he’s puffing his feathers out and grows energetic. Like: “Ahh~ My husband is so kind and generous. What a dashing headmaster!” “Fufu! You flatter me too much!” Acts cute but is totally fishing for more compliments.

Over the top nicknames that make you gag. Honeyfeathers, Dire Darling, Birdy, etc, etc. But that’s usually for private or whispered between each other if in public.

Crowley and Mrs. Crowley are opposites in every way from stature to personality. While Crowley is eccentric and mysterious, Mrs. Crowley is warm and easy to approach. Surprisingly, they both compliment each other in that Mrs. Crowley has a keen eye in seeing past Crowley’s bravado and discovering how much work he puts into his job. Meanwhile, Crowley offers a new perspective to Mrs. Crowley on various topics and reminds her to be open-minded to the people in the shadows.

After all, they’re still a couple made up of a “villain” and a “hero”. They offer very different visions for one another and it helps them mature in their long lives. How long have they known each other? Weeeeell, hard to say when you’re both strange fae bird people.

[absolutepokemontrash]

MC and The Familiars (But the Familiars Aren’t Actually Familiars)

So I 100% subscribe to the idea that the brothers can turn into their signature animal, but what if they tried to be slick about it?

Lucifer

Alright, all he had to do was visit MC in the human world, no big deal. Just a visit to his favourite human’s home… he’s the Avatar of Pride, Lucifer’s totally got this and isn’t nervous at all.

He poofs himself into their living room and… wait wasn’t knocking on the front door more polite? Agh, that doesn’t matter. Everything was still totally fine, he could hear MC shuffling around in the other room, he just needed to get outside and knock on the front door.

No problem- OH FUCK MC JUST WALKED IN DO SOMETHING-

*poof*

“…Lucifer?” MC was clearly not fooled by Lucifer’s new bird-y form… father dammit.

Okay, he couldn’t be suave and kabedon the human in this form… quick seduce them in another way!

Maybe fanning out his feathers inside wasn’t a good idea, he knocked a couple of things off the coffee table but at least he was fabulous.

MC just raises their eyebrows and rolls their eyes. “Okay, you’re very pretty Lucifer. Happy?”

Lucifer gets some gentle head rubs, ah, this was nice…

He poofs back into his human form and dips MC. Smooth as butter. “Well, it seems you’ve found me out, MC. I’ll just have to take you out on a date as a reward.”

MC giggles and Lucifer just revels in how amazing and clever he is- until MC looks over at the floor.

“You knocked my drink off the coffee table.” “Oh… would you like to go on a date after I clean that for you..?”

Mammon

UGGGGGGGGGGGH MAMMON’S HUMAN WASN’T PAYING ATTENTION TO HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIM!

MC wasn’t adhering to the very clear “shower Mammon with love and affection” event on their calendar. The event was every day but like- who cares! Mammon had to find out where his human was right that moment and figure out why they weren’t giving him cuddles!

Mammon turned into his crow form and flew right out of the house. Where was that stupid human he loved so dearly? Oh! There they are! Feeding his crows! Awwwwwwwwwww so cute!

Crow-Mammon fluttered down and perched himself next to MC, who was immediately delighted.

“Oh hello there little friend!” MC gently picked Mammon up. “I love your feathers! Aren’t you adorable?”

If crows could blush, Mammon would be bright red. It was all great until his crows started imitating his voice in an attempt to blow his cover!

“Oh that’s right! Mammon would totally adore you!” Wait what?

MC proceeded to rush around the HOL asking all the brothers if they had seen Mammon. Crap… now crow-mammon needed a way to transform back into sexy regular Mammon without alerting his human!

…maybe that could wait a bit… being carried around by MC wasn’t so bad…

Leviathan

Let’s get one thing straight, okay? Levi is a sea snek! A cute little danger noodle! He doesn’t exactly think he’s cute but we know the truth.

He was just swimming around his and Henry 2.0’s gigantic aquarium when MC just barged in without knocking! What kinda normie BULLSHIT-

“Levi? Leviiiiiiiii?” Aw, the human missed him… Levi debated changing back but then decided against it… MC would probably despise him if they found out he wasn’t only a yucky otaku… he was a gross slimy snake too!

MC continued to look around the room while Levi hid in some of his aquarium props. Hiding in his underwater replica of the Lord of Shadows’ castle wasn’t exactly comfortable but it allowed Levi to at least see what MC was doing.

MC suddenly pressed their face against the glass of the aquarium and waved Henry 2.0 over.

“Hey little buddy, do you know where Levi is?”

GAH! 100 DAMAGE! CRITICAL HIT! LEVI HAS FAINTED! TOO MOE! His cute little goldfish and his cute little MC! AAAAAAAAA- oh shit he just transformed back into his normal form-

“Oh! There you are Levi!” MC waved from the other side of the glass. “Come out! Let’s watch anime!”

Satan

He’s not turning into a unicorn. Sorry not sorry.

As cool and terrifying as unicorns are in the Devildom, those stupid human legends ruined their reputations as feared companions to demons.

Whatever, Satan had invited MC over to his room for some 100% family friendly snuggling. He opened up a book and-

Wait why’d he have hooves now..? OH SON OF A BITCH!

The stupid book turned him into his familiar form! He couldn’t change back! Ugh… he needed to calm down, his mane was made of fire and he was in a very flammable environment… the last thing Satan wanted was to burn his books and MC. Wait MC-

“Satan? Is that you?” “…”

Well, at least Satan got some nose scritches… even though unicorns were absolutely terrifying, MC didn’t seem to mind. Though, they burned their fingertips a bit…

Okay… maybe getting pets in his demon form wasn’t all bad…

Asmodeus

Oh MC’s skin was a disaster! Asmo had to do something! All those late night anime binges with Levi were awful, just awful!

MC could be having all night Asmo time but noooooo apparently Princess Tutu was way more fun…

Ah well, time to entice MC into taking care of their skin~

Asmo turned into his adorable little scorpion form and scuttled off to MC’s room. He hopped up on their sink and nudged some lotion towards a very confused MC.

“…what?” “*scuttle scuttle*” “Oh, hi Asmo.”

MC graciously allowed Asmo to guide their bleary eyed self through their morning routine. Being small really helped, it allowed Asmo to get into the very back of the bathroom cabinet, where he found- GASP! MC! IS THAT THE HANDCREAM ASMO HAD GIFTED THEM?!

“*angy scuttles*” “What? I didn’t like the smell.”

The highlight of the morning was when MC picked Asmo up and gave him a hug. :3

Beelzebub

Food… *SNIIIIIIIIIIIIIFF* must consume. It’s coming from behind a locked door- HE NEEDS TO EAT.

Beel transformed and slipped through the crack underneath the door. Hell yeah! Food!

MC was eating takeout, and didn’t invite him… :( oh well, he could eat with them as a fly :)

He leisurely floated down to the food and started nomming.

“Shoo!” MC swatted Beel away. Oh no D: MC whyyyy?

Beel kept flying back, and getting shooed away, it was quite the viscous cycle, well, it was until MC caught Beel under a cup.

Quick! Transform back!

“…Beel. What?” “I’m hungry :(.”

MC just handed him some of their food and went back to eating. Same shit as always…

Belphegor

Moooooooooooooooooooooooo-

Okay, Belphie knew it was comfortable to sleep as a cow when he didn’t have a blanket, he was floofy as a cow! Being floofy is comfortable!

“MCCCCCCCCCCCC. Come snuggle!”

Gasp! MC give cuddles! MC give cuddles and pets to sleepy cow brat!

Belphie likes getting pet behind the ears, THATS the spot… yeah… *content cow sigh*

Side note, cows have very nice eyelashes, Belphie must have nice eyelashes too.

Just snoozing and cuddling… this is how life should be…

The whole gang eventually just ends up napping near or on Belphie, it’s very relaxing. Crow-Mammon on his head, Fly-Beel between his eyes, Snek Levi all curled up on his back, Scorpion Asmo behind his ears, and Lucifer and Satan leaned up next to MC.

They should do this more often…

[ct-multifandom]

Evolution Things

I see you’ve all been sleeping on Alim Kubdel. Couldn’t be me <3 glad everyone’s waking up though. I’m glad to see him finally be relevant again

Also Alix ‘cause she didn’t do jack in s4???

I’m a bit confused about why adult Bunnyx was sending Alim in “our” time postcards instead of him in her time. Just so that he’d know she’s Bunnyx before it even happened? Plot bs?

Edit: I had this typed out and then I deleted it, but I saw other people mention it so I’ll edit it back in. Will Alix’s dad die??? I had the thought while watching that scene, but the tone was so cheerful I thought nahh it’s a kids show. If it’s true, though, NOOOOOO!!! Also, would it be something that happens during canon, or off-screen right between present and future Bunnyx time? Ik Alix is a pink-haired cartoon girl who just got her superpowers, but don’t orphan her! You have to make her the new MC of the series if you do. It’s anime law.

Edit 2 I can’t shut up: I remembered in Chat Blanc when people were theorizing that future Alix sentimentally holding on to this stuffed toy she won off Rose as a kid was meant to imply that Rose will succumb to her illness. If THAT’S true… *screaming and crying* if I had a nickel for every time future!Bunnyx showed up bringing a vague omen of someone’s impending death unrelated to the emergency at hand I’d have two nickels which isn’t a lot but it’s weird that it happened twice.

Okay a little fandom salt here, warning: I’m seeing everyone talk about how cute Cannigirl (?) is, and imma be real, I feel like Miss Hound, Flairmidable, and her all have similarly designed and equally good suits. But when Penalteam came out the majority of people were shitting on Miss Hound saying she looks ugly? Idk I think if Miss hound has a bad design then so does Cannigirl and if Cannigirl has a good design than so does Miss Hound. Maybe everyone’s just gotten used to the Barkk drip after the initial expectations vs reality reveal in 4-24 but I’m starting to think a lot of you guys just play favorites big time…

I love Alix’s hat tho. It’s so cute, it’s like a newsboy cap or a Donald Duck hat. I love how Sabrina had a dog ear beret and she had a dog ear cap. It’s different and fits their characters. I also love that it turns rabbit-themed when she unifies. I kinda wish it was part of her usual design? Attention fan artists who draw the kids in alternate outfits: I need more hatlix.

I’ve been waiting to see if baby Bunnyx looks different from the big one, and she does! The white part of her suit on her belly is shaped like a romper in the present while in the future it’s shaped like a crop top. Edit: baby bun doesn’t have the circle thingies oh her mask. Present!Bunnyx has a black inside on her umbrella instead of white. Future!Bunnyx keeps her normal hair and piercings when she transforms but little Alix doesn’t have piercings yet and her hair stays similar, but changes ever so slightly. It’s the same length on all sides, is styled a little differently, and is a darker shade of pink. Reminds me of Caprikid’s hair change.

The DJWifi kiss. Man people have been rightfully complaining for the past forever that we didn’t see them really interact in Animan before coming back on screen and going, “oh yeah btw we like each other now”. This was an admittedly very clever way of addressing that. Still a little weird that they became so serious so fast, but oh well, we don’t know how long the tension was building up before Origins ‘cause they’ve been close for a long time and Animan was just the tipping point.

It was also funny how they re-contextualized the taxi joke from Reverser. Turns out Scaredy-Chat wasn’t exaggerating too much!

Gabriel get drinked by Nathalie

I saw someone say Nathalie is finally growing a backbone. More like she’s wearing one as an exoskeleton. She has a literal spine of steel now, but at what cost.

Something that I find really interesting is Alix talking about her interest in engineering. This is pretty much new info for us and it adds context to future Alix’s shirt with the gear with rabbit ears. It could also lead to development in her undeveloped friendship with Max by giving them something in common beyond being aspec.

They keep dropping new hobbies for the cast beyond their “one defining cartoon character interest”. They tell us that Kim likes running and swimming, Max likes playing games and programming, Marc likes writing, and also soccer/football. But I noticed that they’ve also gotten into talking about the kids’ career aspirations. Nino likes to DJ, but he wants to direct films. Luka likes playing music, but he plans to make stringed instruments for a living. Juleka likes music too, and she likes cosmetology, but she dreams of modeling. Alix likes skating and street art, but she plans to become an engineer.

Adrien has no idea what he likes, and Marinette has too many things to choose from, so it’s interesting to watch these side characters start to figure out their futures first. Ik a timeskip to the kids as adults wasn’t in the plans for s6/s7 as announced a long time ago by Astruc, but I’d love to see them grow up and have these different hobbies vs jobs. Who will follow their current interests into the pro level and who will take a totally unexpected path? I’m looking forward to seeing more of this from others in the present.

I hope they will do the pattern of recovering a miraculous one at a time and giving it to the holder permanently. As exciting as the love square resolution is, miraculous is so lonely to me without the side characters. Idk how it’d work out with the rings, like is the kwami actually in there? Is stealing a ring the same as recovering the miraculous? But we’ll see. They can’t episodically shoehorn meaningful side character moments into episodes that aren’t really about them.

Maybe the whole season is just the cat, bug, and rabbit, but that doesn’t make sense to me. If the show was originally planned to end at s5, you’re telling me the hero team was just never coming back until post-canon? That some of them were meant to have a combined screen time of 2 minutes over the whole show? It makes no sense. Plus, why drop transformation phrases for the Penalteam heroes if they’re not gonna actually transform for over a season? Chat said it himself, we’re getting them back one by one.

Maybe each and every episode won’t feature the hero for its miraculous, but they’ll get the kwami back anyways and make the holder permanent later at a time that makes sense? Idk

Gabriel dumbed his last ass

Nathalie spit in Gabe’s eyes challenge

If I want anyone to have a redemption arc it’s her come on bbgirl I believe in you

Alix dodgeball master

Poor 1940s Barkk is so innocent. She doesn’t know what’s coming. I mean, they pulled her out of Nazi-occupied France, so comparatively the present is in a much better place, but still.

Rabbit Noir was so cute. The neon blue under-eye weirdly works, but I feel like they could’ve done something different with the tails.

Let’s drink to all the Alix screen time yet to come. I told myself that my one expectation for this episode would be good Alix time, and I got it, so I must say I’m happy. Return of the queen.

About Multiplication: idk if Mylene will be relevant to this plot considering she wasn’t in the trailer and it’s gonna be big Adrienette time, but in Mega Leech the filter thing they were protesting was a Tsurugi company product, and Ikari Gozen is quite literally a Tsurugi car. Could there be a connection? Is Mylene gonna bring her environmental concerns up to Tomoe directly? Will she help defeat her? No clue how they’re actually gonna do it ‘cause no lucky charm or cataclysm alone will defeat an army of giant samurai sports car centaurs deliberately wrecking Paris. (If you steal the mouse ring off one of the clones will it be the same as taking it when they’re all combined?)

[sushigal007]

Over to Bianca Monty! Who has been pregnant since 2014, so let’s hurry up and get that baby out of her!

But first, a wedding!

Bianca: Whew, really stretching the lace on my dress here.

Chester: Bianca, I promise to love and cherish you and refuse to take part in the family feud.

Bianca: I promise to let you spend a not insignificant amount of money on video game merchandise so long as you give me that sweet incognito surname and at least two more babies.

Bianca: With this ring, I am no longer a Monty.

Chester: Sweet sweet video game merch.

Bianca: Sweet sweet anonymity and babies.

I now pronounce you Mr and Mrs Gieke.

Thanks for the money, Chester!

Bianca: Open wide!

Chester: Ack! Choking!

Bianca: Ha ha! So funny! Chester: I’M SERIOUS.

Back home! Bianca’s OTH is Arts and Crafts and as she also has a high interest in fashion, I brought her a sewing machine. Bianca: It’s probably too late to make my own baby clothes, but I might manage a prom dress. What if it’s a boy? Bianca: I said what I said.

Landlord: Did you hear something? Chester: Maybe it was the weather.

Nope, it’s BABY TIME!

Bianca: What the fuck are you doing!? Chester: Getting ready to catch! Bianca: GET BACK UP THIS END NOW.

Baby is birthed and caught! And it is indeed a boy! His name is Paris, which yes, I know is more of a Capp kind of name, but I figure it’s a firm statement from Bianca that she is DONE with that.

And Chester immediately rolls this charming want. Chester: A baby! I must learn all about them so I can be the very best father ever! Aww. How about you, Bianca?

Literally every other skill, I see. Bianca: I don’t need to study. I’m a Family sim and mommy knows best.

Bianca: See? I’m so good at this already!

Bianca: Gold star for this shit.

Bianca: Aaaaaand baby goes on floor. Outside. LOL THERE IT IS-

Oh, I see, you just put him down to react to the weather. Bianca: Ew, rain? I’m going back inside.

Um, Bianca? Bianca?

Paris: She’s not coming back, is she? No worries, dad to the rescue!

Chester: Ew.

But finally, Paris makes it back into the house. Hurrah!

Landlord: Hey, there’s a weird stench from your apartment, can you deal with it? Chester: Oh, it’s just the baby.

Baby goes IN BASSINET.

I had Bianca invite her parents over so she could tell them about her shotgun wedding.

But apparently they didn’t do anything interesting, because the next screenshot was this one of Chester teleporting out of bed. Bianca: You can just get up normally, you know. Chester: Better view of the bassinet from here.

Chester: I wonder what Paris is thinking right now?

Paris: I’m thinking I would like that nappy to be a little bit further away from me.

Chester: Noooooo my spaghetti!

Family dinner.

And then it’s time for Paris to grow up!

Paris: I wanna go to bed. Me too bitch, you ain’t special.

Patrizio: I would like to know your opinions on global affairs. Isabella: I would like to install a sweet swing set like this in our backyard. I haven’t felt this young in years!

Potty training time!

Chester: You’re really gonna do this? Hey, everyone loves potty training pics.

Chester: VOGUE. Amazing, stupendous, a star is born. Give me another! Chester: Can’t. Kid’s done. Done as in-?

Huh. Kid’s done. Paris: What, like it’s hard?

Chester: And now, the most awkward spot in the house for a story.

I’ll consider it.

Patrizio: Let us know if you do get knocked up again, Isabella was very disappointed she never got a chance to knit little cardigans for Paris. Bianca: That’s on her, I was pregnant for eight years.

Oops.

Bianca: Can’t you do something? Well I mean, I could, but where’s the fun in that?

Oh never mind, Paris took care of it.

Arrr.

Not creepy at all.

Chester: Can you say ‘high chair’? Paris: I can indeed say ‘high chair’.

You know what, why not!

Bianca: First though, I wanna get that locked badge want out of the way.

Chester: Who’s daddy’s little genius? You are!

And now, a sex interlude. Put on your best 70′s porno music.

Happy New Year.

And now, party time!

Paris: This rocks.

Paris: And another thing, I’m not a feud kind of kid. Patrizio: Happily, I am a feud kind of grandfather.

Bianca: This is nice. Chester: It’d be nicer without clothes.

Uberhood Index

[x-pair-o-dice-x]

Fake fic titles!!!

Poppy seeds grow

Holly berry's and dazzling lights

Cotton puff

The moving castle

The gingerbread man

Sharing isn't caring

Spirited away now

The vet

i’m like three prompts in as of writing this rn and it’s already so long (well mostly just. one prompt is very long, the others are average djbdkdbdk) so i’m putting most of ‘em under a cut.

poppy seeds grow

there is a giant flower in front of him, and frankly, tubbo doesn’t think that’s normal.

and he’s not talking about a flower the size of his head. he’s talking about a flower that’s bud looks practically double the size of his whole body.

and that’s not even accounting for the stem itself, which looks to be just as wide as a he is.

now, tubbo likes plants as much as anyone, and while he doesn’t have knowledge on every type of flower in existence, this? this is not a normal flower.

holly berries and dazzling lights

the eternal winter started a long while ago, so long that tommy barely even remembers what it was like to be warm. frankly, he thinks that the “eternal winter” is a stupid fucking name, but, he has to admit, the name is accurate. it’s been years, and there’s been no sign of it ending any time soon.

“eternal winter” isn’t the only fucking thing it is, though. if it was, this would be manageable. miserable, but manageable.

but noooooo, it just had to have summoned fucking giants or something as well, too. and to further rub the salt into the wound, the giants seemed to be fucking thriving in this environment.

and to top it all off, the giants are hunting people. like the winter wasn’t fucking enough.

so. tommy’s life is shit. great. what’s new?

..what’s new, is the fucking light show that’s going on over the horizon.

no, not a light show- what was the word for it, fuck, uh... auboras? au.. it’s fucking, dazzling lights, or some shit.

..well, i mean. it’s new. something other than the blinding white of the snow and the dark blue, almost black void that is the sky.

so... fuck it. he’s got nothing better to do, and he.’s been moving around a lot anyway. might as well follow it.

as he follows the light, he finds- well. light. but not like the ones in the sky, but.. light as in man-made.

and, sure enough, there’s a house in the distance — a quaint little cottage, decorated in holly berries.

it’s almost perfect.

the only problem?

it’s giant.

it’s a cottage for a giant.

and there’s something in there, judging by the lights and the faint black-and-white figure he sees passing by every now and then.

by all means, he really should turn back, run far away. that’s a giant right there, something that he’s seen kill humans before.

but........ he’s so goddamn cold..... it would be nice to feel the warmth after so long.

cotton puff

tubbo and ranboo are at the local fair, with their borrower friend tommy resting in tubbo’s hair.

ranboo has just bought some cotton candy, only for it to be stolen by tubbo.

“whuh- hey! what gives?” ranboo whines, attempting to gain back his stolen treasure.

“you don’t have a mouth, boss man!” tubbo grins, walking ranboo away with one of his hands, the other holding the cotton candy close to his chest. “you can’t eat it anyway!”

“‘i don’t have a-’ you mean my mask?!” ranboo cries out. “i- i still have a mouth, it’s just covered by the mask-”

“nope, you’re like, part sock, you have no mouth, so obviously, you cannot feel the joy of eating this cotton candy,” tubbo says, “but don’t worry, boss man, i will enjoy it for you.”

ranboo tries again to grab at his cotton candy, only to get swatted at on top of his head. at this, he gives up, instead sitting on the curb, and sulking.

tubbo laughs at him, sticking his tongue out, before going to take a bite out of his prize. suddenly, he can feel something sliding off of the top of his head with a yell, and as he blinks, he finds something on his stolen cotton candy.

tommy.

oh, right, tommy was on his head.

tubbo stares at the borrower for a beat, before bursting out with laughter, ranboo joining him, while tommy just pouts at the two.

the moving castle

legends talk about the castle in the sky, hidden beyond the clouds. they talk about a giant who keeps watch over all that surrounds the castle, be it the birds flying high, or the towns the castle passes over as it floats with the clouds.

the people call them the angel.

tommy, frankly, thinks that this is all bullshit. there’s no way there could be a castle among the clouds, clouds are just. fucking gas, or something. clouds can’t hold up anything.

so, yeah, tommy doesn’t believe in the castle in the sky.

that all changes when he spots something huge over the distance.

the gingerbread man

one moment, there was nothing.

the next, ranboo opened his eyes.

the first thing he noticed was that he was laying down, staring up at the ceiling. there was nothing particularly interesting up there, so he sat up.

his eyes flickered towards his hands, as he brought them up to look at them better. what.. was he?

a cookie, something in his mind replied. he didn’t know what that was, but.. it fit, he supposed. he looked up, focusing instead on his surroundings.

he.. he was on a tray, of sorts. there was something in the air, some smell. it.. whatever it was, it smelled really good.

he appeared to be... in kitchen of sorts? ..he, doesn’t know what a kitchen is, actually. it just.. popped into his mind, but whatever it was, it felt right.

he brought his attention back towards the tray he was on, and jolted when he saw what was next to him.

it.. it looked so eerily similar to him, but different enough to be off-putting. while he had depth, it was flat, and- and it’s eyes. what he assumes was it’s eyes, he means. they were.. they looked blank.

as he looked around, he found, to his horror, that there were more of them, surrounding him.

and then something walked in. something big.

a giant, one who had short pink hair, glances over at the tray he lied on- before doubling back as it’s eyes zoned in on him.

it’s eyes were more alive than any of his companions’, but he felt more dread under it’s gaze than he had ever felt towards them.

sharing isn’t caring

tommy, frankly, is quite tired of this.

he’s a prince, one of a kingdom of borrowers. and recently, his father, sam, has been talking negotiations with the neighboring kingdoms — not other borrower kingdoms, however, but kingdoms of giants.

since sam has been so busy with alliance talk with the kingdom of essempi and the antarctic empire, tommy’s been stuck getting practically babysat by two giant fucking princes.

which, normally, would be pretty terrifying for anyone, being near not one, but two beings ten times the size of you, if it weren’t for the fact that these two were fucking idiots.

he can’t count how many times prince wilbur and prince dream have fought over him, each claiming that they were the “best brother figure,” whatever the fuck that meant.

at first he was worried for his safety, now he’s just worried for his sanity.

spirited away now

ranboo doesn’t remember much.

he knows that he’s a spirit, and he knows, instinctively, that spirits only form when someone has a purpose, one that carries over from when they were alive.

...the problem is, that’s all he knows. he doesn’t know what his purpose is. he feels like he needs to find.... something. but.... he doesn’t know what.

he just needs a clue. that’s all.

the vet

“hello, what can i do for you?” tubbo hears as he walks through the doors of the vet.

“hi! uh, i found this strange dog,” tubbo says, gesturing to the dog carrier he’s carrying, “and i think it’s a stray? couldn’t see a collar on it, but i wanna see if it’s got a chip on it or, something. if not, i might just keep the fella for himself.”

“alright, sir, just wait right here and we’ll be with you in a moment.”

after a while of waiting, he was finally called in, and he ended up inside of one of the rooms, a veterinarian leading him in.

as the veterinarian started to talk, tubbo started unlocking the door of the carrier.

“okay! so, first we’re gonna run some tests to see if the guy is injured or sick or anything, and then we’ll- jesus christ what the hell is that-”

tubbo blinks at the veterinarian they jump back, glancing between them and the dog.

“uh,” tubbo starts, placing a hand on the dog, rubbing it as the dog leaned in, “it’s just a dog, boss man.”

“that-” the veterinarian stares, “that is not a dog, that’s a raccoon.”

“i don’t- look, i don’t really care about the specific breeds or whatever, all i care about is whether or not it has an owner so i can see if i can keep it.”

“i- it’s not- you-” the veterinarian stammers, before pausing, and just.. sighing. “yeah, alright, i’ll help you with your...” they look back at the animal. “....dog.”

[parkers-gal]

Heyy, i hope you are amazing and getting enough sleep and drinking enough water. But for the sleepover Can you have Tom and his brothers or cast mates reacting to readers (Ariana Grande) new video “34+35”. It doesn’t have to be smut seeing as how you don’t want to write smut.

i have a blurb where this is included in it, but if you want me to rewrite it you can send in the request again <3

requests are open

—

wc: 1.1k

Though Tom had helped you on some of the lyrics for the current tracks for your new studio album, he'd yet to hear any finished results or melodies (which was probably a good thing considering he started humming "needy," during a comic con event). 

You, as well as several of your friends from the studio, were gathered in Tom's living room, everyone spread out on their own seats. You were slightly nervous, worried about how the boys would react from your sudden switch from pop to R&B. 

"Ten minutes!" Harrison hollered from the kitchen, and a series of cheers went around as everyone continued what they were doing. It was a ritual, basically, to be together on release night like it was a New Year's countdown. Every new release meant the boys had something new to hear, so you also spent time going through each track and letting them decipher it as they pleased. 

An album was no different. 

Now, they'd already heard your leading single "positions," and you had to admit, their reactions when the words left your mouth were absolutely hilarious. 

You recalled the memory:

"Wait- what?" 

"Jesus Christ, Tom, you've turned her into a sex addict," Harry concluded. 

"I have- I have not!" 

You giggled, patting his shoulder while he processed the information. 

"Okay if it's not about sex then what's it about?" Harrison asked. 

You rolled your eyes, "I never said it wasn't about sex." 

"Oh," they concluded, each of their eyes widening. 

"I swear to god, Y/N, if you name drop me like you did Pete and Ri-'

"I didn't name drop anyone!" you laughed at him, hoping to relax him a little. "Tommy it's not like you're explicitly mentioned to be the inspiration. You just happen to have caused the lyrics, 's all." 

"That's gross," Harry interrupted. 

"Yeah, we don't need to hear about how much you love Tom's web shooter." 

___

"Five minutes!" Harrison shouted again. 

Tom had just returned from the kitchen, a fresh beer in his hand. He was coming over to you, sitting down softly and pulling you into his side, kissing your temple as you hummed. You intertwined your fingers, and he chuckled, giving your knuckles a kiss too. 

"You ready, love?"

"I think the question is 'are you ready?'" 

The two of you laughed just as Harrison and Harry had finally sat in their seats. They'd connected three wireless speakers to your phone, where you'd play the album for them for the first time. 

"Two minutes."

Tom looked down to you with a proud smile, and you pinched his cheeks. You found out later that Harry had captured the moment on film. 

Now, everyone was counting down the seconds, you included. Everyone was shouting excitedly, and you couldn't help but smile at the entire image. 

"Okay, okay," you quieted everyone. "Track number one: shut up. Are we ready?"

"Hell yeah," Harry raised his beer. 

"Hit it muchacha!"

You laughed, clicking the song. 

As the intro started, you saw each of their expressions. The beginning was sort of Disney-like, and quite easy to reminisce about childhood films. However, their expressions quickly changed once your voice rang through. 

You looked to Victoria with a satisfied grin, Tom's mouth agape and Harry's eyes wide as he tried not to spit out his beer.

"Guess it fuckin' just clicked one night," you sang along perfectly. 

Sam barely swallowed his drink before he spoke first. "Holy shit," he laughed. 

When the song ended, you paused the music, glancing to their faces in anticipation for one of them to speak first. 

"Well?" you smiled nervously. 

"It's quite.. Disney?"

"Yeah.." Harrison agreed with Sam. "But also very straight forward and holy shit you weren't playin' around."

"I quite like it," Tuwaine admitted. "It's very catchy."

"Okay, time for track two: 34+35."

"Oh man," Tom replied to you, putting his drink on the coffee table. "I've been dying to hear this one."

"Or at least know what it's about," Harry added. 

You rolled your eyes with a knowing-grin, clicking the track. They were quiet just as it started, but by the fourth line of verse one, they had finally figured out what it was about. 

"Fuck me till the daylight!" You sang, and Tom looked like he'd just wet his pants. 

"Baby you might need a seat belt when I ride it," you laughed with Tayla. 

Tuwaine seemed thoroughly amused by their reactions, playfully dancing along to the song. When the track came to a close, the realization seemed to have struck them just as you hummed out:

"Means I wanna 69 with ya... noooooo, shit." 

As you paused the song before the next track, Harrison was turning towards Tom with an open mouth, finger pointed to you. He wasn't forming words, and you giggled at them, encouraging them. 

"C'mon! Tell me what you think!" 

"I believe you when you said Tom is kinky," Harry deadpanned. 

Tom jutted his lip out, scrunching his brows together. "I am not! I have normal kinks!"

"I don't think 69 is a kink," Harrison concluded. 

"Or common," Sam pointed out. 

You laughed again, interrupting them. "It's not about Tom," you confessed. 

It was Tom's turn to look at you with wide eyes. "Are you just doing 69 with other gentlemen then?" 

"N-no," You spoke during laughs. "It's not from personal experience."

The five of them "oh'ed" and you laughed again with a nod. 

Forty minutes later and you were listening to the last track of the album, sad that it came so soon. 

"Ready?" 

"Let's do it," Harrison chugged the rest of his beer. Tom snuggled closer into your side and you kissed his cheek before pressing play. 

During this track, the boys didn't talk at all, which was peculiar to you. They didn't even react until you spoke once it ended. 

"Well? You guys were awful quiet? Do you like it-"

"It's really pretty," Tom confessed, a blush adorned on his cheek. 

"Yeah," Harry agreed. "It's almost soft compared to the rest." 

You nodded along, "Yeah, I'd think so too." 

"Who's it about?" Sam asked.  Your eyebrows went up, and he 'surrendered.'

"Well then," Harry stood up. "Congrats Y/N/N," he moved in to give you a hug and you returned it. "I'm gonna hit the sack." 

"Yeah same," Harrison said, repeating Harry's movements. 

By the time they'd all left, you and Tom were left alone cleaning up everything and washing dishes at one A.M.

"Can I ask who it's about?" 

"Which one?" You asked, scrubbing the bottom of a plate before handing it to him to rinse and dry. 

"The, uh- the last one." 

"Oh," you looked at the sponge in your hands. "It's about you." 

The tips of his ears reddened, and you had to will yourself not to laugh at it. 

"I really.. love it," he admitted almost bashfully, avoiding your gaze. 

"Well," you grabbed his hands despite the suds. "I really love you." 

[demonslayedher]

Any Kny character you've grown to love/appreciate more??

Thanks for waiting, Anon, I have been trying to really, really hard to narrow this down, but the answer remains: the vast majority of the cast. The only character I loved right away was Tanjiro and that love kept me watching, as with almost every new character I was like, "ugh, I hate this guy. Here I was, having fun being emotionally invested in a high quality anime, and this might ruin it for me." But then the instant I see a different side of their character, I'm like, "...Oh." To go into some examples...

Zenitsu: I could not stand him right away, I hate womanizers, and his conniptions would go on so long that they held up the story. But Gotouge/Ufotable strung me along perfectly, the first glimpse of Thunder Breath made me immediately pay attention and think, "oh, that was cool. I want to see more of that." Seeing him protect the box pretty firmly put him in the "I need to protect this child" box in my heart. And then the spider demon happens, and I'm sending desperate reaction messages to a friend like "NOOOOOO!!!! BABBBBBBBBBYYYYYYYY!!!!" And then he annoyed me all over again at the start of Functional Recovery, ahaha. It's hard to remember how annoyed I was because I'm such a Zen Stan now, and he was a very firm favorite of mine by the time I finished binging the anime up to the last couple episodes, which I waited for as they came out. Inosuke: He was one of the reasons I was curious about the series, I saw some promotional art and was super curious about Nezuko's muzzle (I was one of the people who thought it was some ancient scroll or something, haha) and the kid with the boar mask. The art I saw showed his face, and I assumed he'd be some kid with a cracking voice performed by a female seiyuu. As much as I love Matsuoka's performance now, initially, since I knew what his face looked like, I found it grossly off-putting the moment I heard it. Then every chaotic thing Inosuke did dug a deeper hole; I very quickly decided I hated him, especially when he started beating up on the kid I was starting to like. As his chaos subsided he just became a character I tolerated, and then this happened:

Images you can hear, am I right? This immediately flipped the "BABY" switch in my heart. It was also a lot of fun to understand the Inosuke memes I was seeing everywhere. So by the end of the anime, I loved, loved, loved, loved the Tanjiro/Zenitsu/Inosuke interactions and desperately wanted more (still didn't like how Zenitsu bothered Nezuko, though). I was so impatient for more, but the manga art looked disappointingly off-putting. I figured the anime was successful enough that there'd eventually be more of it, and I wanted to be patient, but then I poked around, read some spoilers, got back into Tumblr to look at fanart and memes, saw a spoiler image of Tanjiro affected by Muzan's poison and the binge-read began. (That's kind of a lie, but I'll get to that.) Let's back up a few episodes. There I was, having a great time, the guy who I forgot about from Episode 1 was back and haha, I guess everyone hates him, and the chick who I figured was going to be a medic who saves Zenitsu in the nick of time turned out to be savage, awesome. I was sending reactions to my friends who were ahead of me, and then we left off seeing the Pillars staring down Best Boy. And I...

Well. Uh. Here, I've dug up an old convo for you, my comments are in blue.

Immediately followed by a passionate vocal rant, which I have transcribed here:

“I feel like what happened was that the mangaka was sitting around with his assistants and was like, ‘welp, gotta make this whole cast of characters, they gotta be so-o-o-o many more levels of extreme than all the other characters I’ve had so far, which isn’t hard, because all of the background characters are cannon fodder and I’ve just gotta leave them all with black hair and no personality traits. So! Gotta go to the opposite of the spectrum with the BIG! POWERFUL! People so no-o-o-body can be normal.’ And so he and his assistants sat down, and they all wrote down just random words or traits, and them put ‘em all in a hat. And then for each character, they pulled out a few of them and said, ‘OK. We’re gonna put these things together, now we have a character.’ And he was probably also like, ‘Iiiiiiiiiiiii’ll flesh them out later. For now, they just need t’… be there, and make an impact. How do we make an impact? By making sure it’s super, super clear what their character traits are. Here, we’ll have this guy repeat the word //HADE//…. ////HA DEEE//// over and over and over… to show that he’s a /showy/ person. Because he /cares/ about that. And he //should// care because that is his character and that’s why he’s powerful.’ OH MY GOSH, it’s so dumb.”

......orz I feel like Genya looking back at how he acted at the end of the Final Selection. I'm sorry, Gotouge, I had not even encountered your love for these characters yet in your little alligator form. Nor had I encountered the yet unseen-sides of these traumatized dragons and tigers. ...*coughs* Um. So. I was pretty harsh.

So this was my mindset, I went into the manga not caring about most of these characters and just wanting more Kamaboko squad interactions and wanting to hurry up and catch up to the battle with Muzan. And it's worth stating that I didn't mean to read it at first. I encountered a few spoilers, and just wanted to look for the context surrounding those parts, and then hunt for the (non-existent) build-up to those parts, and so... uh.........

I read a lot of the manga out of order, and yeah, that did affect how much I cared about what was going on. I didn't actually properly process a lot of it until later re-reads. But to try to state some things simply about each Pillar:

Giyuu: He was just 'ok' to me for a long time, I could see the appeal for why people I knew were fangirling over him but he didn't do it for me. His soft spot for Tanjiro was indeed endearing, though, and I firmly liked him by the time chapter 200 came out and I was properly heartbroken on his behalf.

Shinobu: She was intriguing, and then I liked her as soon as I saw her savage side, she was one of the characters I went hunting for spoilers for.

Rengoku: That stare really put me off at first, but I fell for him over the process of Tanjiro falling for him. When I first finished the train arc I sat back and said, "wow! That's going to make for a good movie!" and then in psyching myself out for the movie several months in advance, I fell hook, line, and sinker and was totally excited for him each time I saw the trailers. And then the movie was *stunning* and I love him even more. Uzui: He was the Pillar I hated most upon first meeting them. I blame the repeated use of his catchphrase. But then when he let his hair down to sell the kiddos the change in design helped warm me up more to him, like, "oh, there was a human in there." It took a long time for him to become more interesting to me, and an uncharacteristically subtle journey to becoming a character I liked. I am currently getting more and more psyched out for him and eager to see how much more I'm going to like him with the shiny Ufotable treatment. Mitsuri: At first I didn't remember her name, I had code-named her as "Boobs." But I kinda had a feeling she was going to grow on me quickly, and I was right, she's one of my easy favorites now. Muichiro: Who? Oh yeah, that kid who always kinda fell to the wayside in my attention. I'd see a lot of Muichiro-themed blogs and hear a lot of little girls looking at merch and showing a clear favoritism of him, and I'd like always react like Muichiro and just be like, "...", and then when I read his major battles I was more emotionally invested in things going on concurrently with other characters, and I was still like, "...", and then two days ago I revisited a Muichiro scene and was suddenly like, "......OH!!! MUICHIRO!!!!!" Himejima: I never really hated Himejima, even if I found his first impression kind of wimpy (haha... oh, I was so wrong). I had a pretty easy acceptance of him too, so I would generally count him among characters I like, but if you were to ask me why, I'd draw a blank. It's kind of a weirdly mature, subdued appreciation for him rather than passionate fangirling. But weirdly when I was daydreaming the other day I found myself thinking, "if I had to marry someone in the KnY cast, it would be Himejima." So like, not a fiery romance, but I see him as my dependable, sturdy rock to grow old with??? What is up with you, sub-conscious?? Iguro: My interest in him rises and falls. Being a Mitsuri fan helped warm me up to his character in the first place, which was the emotional tie I needed since his backstory didn't grip me much (I found it a frustrating distraction while I was desperately reading weekly updates). Reading more subtle details about his character in the fanbooks has brought me around and made me more curious about him, like I'd really like to be a fly on the wall for the conversation he had with Uzui one day about their pasts.

Sanemi: Hahaha, wow. He was so unlikable in the beginning, wasn't he? His character design (yeah, the eyes) was really off-putting too. But then I got to know him and there was no going back, I got totally played. He's a character I'm pretty fond of now and one of the characters I've enjoyed delving into most in fanfic. To keep this answer from getting too long, for the vaaaaaast majority of the cast, I was initially like, "meh" or "OK" or "ew" but now am like, "EEEEEEEEE, I LOVE THIS TOTALLY RANDOM UNIMPORTANT SIDE CHARACTERRRRRRR" so you know... times change. And the more time I spend obsessed with Kimetsu no Yaiba, the more I like them all, so even the characters I'm lukewarm on will probably have their eventual days when they take over my heart and smash it.

[kbandtrash]

SKZ Mafia Bullet Point

~Rachel~

@call-me-horangi thanks for the request!

Masterlist

I. I didn't have to do it like this. What did I create. Anyway next up Megan wanted to do one too so that's the next update

Word Count: 1.6k

I have chosen Chan because I’m baaaasiiiiiiic

But anyway you were both born into the life of organized crime

Your families were friendly with each other so like you were supposed to be bestest friends and fated lovers right??

No.

You haaaaaated each other as kids

He had this reputation of good rule following child but actually? Was just really good at never getting caught

You didn’t like the rules and you were loud about it but did you follow them? Yeah

Did you always get in trouble anyway? Yeah

Did Chan always manage to get you in trouble for things he did? Also yeah

You would try to get people to see that he was a little turd and sometimes they would listen but usually they would be like

Little baby sweetheart Chan???? Noooooo never

After a while you decided that if Chan wanted to be an exception to the rules then he could be an exception to the rules

So you would antagonize him constantly

The amount of times you locked him outside when he shouldn’t have been there in the first place

Or the time you stained his shirt with grape juice right before he was supposed to take pictures

So yeah as kids you were at each other’s necks constantly it was really back and forth

Neither of you was really better than the other

It got better when you were both sent to separate private schools for middle school and you didn’t see each other so much

But if you did have to see each other it was on sight

You never punched him and his stupid little smirk but man oh man did you get close

In high school your parents managed to finesse both of you into the same school

Not only that but the school put you both in the same class

And it would have been a disaster except!

His school friends were amazing!

In fact the reason you remember your relationship turning around was because they would tease him whenever the two of you started fighting

One day in particular you remembered he was trying to rile you up by getting right up in your face

And one of his boys shouted “KISS”

Even still today, many years later, you wish someone had taken a picture of his face

You didn’t know eyes could become so big and round

Never before or since had you seen ears so bright red

For many months later he was barely able to look you in the eyes

And when he was forced to talk to you he was much more polite

At some point in your last year of school, one of your friends started dating one of his friends

And the friend groups started to mesh together

So you were spending even more time together than normal

Suddenly he was much easier to be around

Maybe because you ignored each other for the most part

Wow I’m spending way more time on this backstory than I should

Anyway

You managed to graduate on a decent note

You don’t remember the pictures being taken, but there’s one graduation photo with both of your friend groups not only with both of you in it

That used to be a struggle when you were younger

But you were both standing next to each other

And not only that!

But there’s another photo of just the two of you

Something that would have been entirely impossible in your younger years

But you had your arm around his shoulder!

He had his hand on your waist!

One might think, looking at the picture, that you were friends at that point

Maybe you were, but you didn’t remember it that way

This is entirely stream of thought guys I’m just writing everything that comes to mind

You weren’t willingly associating yourself with him at least until after college

You were on one side of the country, he was on the other

You saw each other maybe a handful of times over the course of four years

And they say absence makes the heart grow fonder

Very clearly you still remember the first time you saw him after you graduated

You were at the main headquarters for the front for your family business, almost done with training for the work you would be doing for then

And then in walks the handsomest boy you’d ever seen in your life

It took you a second to recognize him

Not because he had changed much physically

Sure, he was dressed quite a bit nicer than you remembered

And his hair was styled differently than he used to like

But his entire countenance was different

The way he carried himself radiated confidence and maturity

He was confident before but now? He had earned his confidence

And his smile

Jisung was easy to recognize walking in with him

They were talking about something as they walked in those doors

And suddenly both started laughing

Had his smile always been that captivating?

Hadn’t you hated it before?

No, this couldn’t be more different than his stupid arrogant smirk

It would have been very embarrassing if you had kept staring at them as they approached you

Luckily the employee that was training you managed to get you back on task before they noticed you

So when Jisung noticed you and called your name, you were at least somewhat prepared and kept your pride

Except then you turned and saw Chan smiling again

At you

And your brain short circuited a little bit

Because he was even prettier smiling like that

At you

What

It was not long after that that you ended up hanging out together just the two of you

On purpose

Also what

Since when would you have ever willingly spent time one on one with Chan?

Never

But there you were hanging out like you were old friends rather than fated rivals

Wham Bam you were dating so fast

It was almost a little shameful how willing you were to throw away a 20+ year feud

But! He had thrown it away too so

The only pride you had to lose was your families teasing you

Every other second at any gathering

“I told you they would end up together”

“I still remember you as ten-year-olds screaming at each other”

Like thanks? How are you supposed to respond to that

“Aren’t you glad you grew out of that?”

Um yeah I’m glad Chan and I both grew up I guess

“Oh finally”

Oh well

It was not long before you earned the reputation of Bonnie and Clyde within your circle

Sticky situations followed you left and right

But through The Power of Love

And perhaps much experience in self-defense classes and firearm training

But mostly through The Power of Love

You managed to get yourselves out of these situations pretty flawlessly every time

And! Thanks to your extensive experience tormenting each other as children

The two of you are excellent at getting information out of people

It usually goes a little something like

“I will tell you what you want to know if you will pLEASE just SHUT UP”

Anyway

Usually since you were technically considered higher-ups due to your parents’ status you wouldn’t really get involved so much in the dirty stuff

But you both got a little more caught up in the diplomatic stuff

Which for some reason when it involves you two

It tends to get kind of messy

Why do they even let you guys do this kind of stuff anymore?

Compromise only recently got added to both of your playbooks

More often than not you always end up sitting together in someone’s kitchen patching each other up

Thankfully you’ve never had any terribly close calls

But that leads me to my next point

Boy proposed in the middle of a shootout

Not because it was now or never or anything like that

Just because he felt like it was the dramatic background he needed

He would have been nervous otherwise but like in the middle of a shootout?

He was a lot more worried about getting shot

Or more like you getting shot I guess

Anyway he was a lot more worried about that than about you saying no

Kinda stupid looking back actually

What if he had distracted you and then you got shot and died

But that didn’t happen so!

Anyone that responded with a patronizing comment about your childhoods was uninvited to the wedding

Except not really because this is not the business to be making enemies for petty reasons

But they definitely earned a spot in whatever secret hit list y’all keep together for little things

Venting conversations usually go a little something like

“Please tell me why my aunt is trying to invite herself on our honeymoon”

“Should I ring up Jeongin?”

“If you don’t want my aunt sleeping on our couch then yeah probably”

“Ew nope yeah Jeongin air shot between the toes I’m texting him now”

“Chan wait--”

How on earth do I wrap this up this is a first for me

This was not extremely mafia heavy BUT

Anyway the wedding has not happened yet but when it does

There will most certainly be a secret afterparty for people who deserve it

And another secret afterparty for your friends

Most days actually that’s like the only thing keeping you going

Weddings are stressful but wow add in the organized crime aspect?

So much more to think about

You and Chan are both pretty stressed these days

But at least at the end of the day you’ve got each other to lean on :)

~fin~

[darthkruge]

Hello! I'm kinda new to the whole tumblr thing so sorry if this request is bad but I was wondering if maybe you could do an imagine for spencer reid where the reader is Garcia's younger sister and Garcia brings her in to meet the team because it's her first day there. Maybe Reid recognizes her from somewhere and he will not leet it go until he finds out how he knows her? Btw it's totally fine if you don't get to this! :)

Spencer Reid x Reader ~ Piano

Summary: When a new agent joins the BAU, Spencer knows he’s seen them before but literally cannot figure out where. His memory having never failed him before, he doesn’t rest until he figures it out.

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Gender Neutral! Reader; Penelope Garcia x Sibling! Reader

Words: 1973

Warnings: A little bit of language, I think that’s all?

A/N: Hey anon!! First off, don’t worry, love! I’m honestly new to this whole tumblr thing too, but I loved this request! I’m sorry I didn’t get to it sooner, life’s been a bit hectic. I made it so the reader is Garcia’s younger sibling instead of sister, I hope you don’t mind. I’m going to try to make writing as gender neutral as possible moving forward. Nothing against you, of course, I know I haven’t specified in past requests and I couldn’t have expected you to know, so don’t worry! That being said, sorry for rambling and I hope you like it :)

(gif isn’t mine)

“Hello, everyone! I want you to meet the youngest of the wonderful Garcia children!” Penelope led you into the BAU where you waved a bit stiffly. You weren’t a huge fan of being the center of attention, but you knew your sister loved these introductions.

Looking around, you pieced together the people you knew from Penelope’s stories. You recognized Derek immediately. You assumed from his professional stance that the taller and older dark haired man was Hotch. Logically, that meant Rossi was next to him. And Emily and JJ were the two women, smiling and waving at you encouragingly. You smiled a bit broader, immediately sensing you would be fast friends with them. Finally, your eyes landed on what had to be Spencer. You thought he was quite attractive and, from Penelope’s descriptions, he was also amazing, talented, kind, smart, basically everything you liked. You waved at him but noticed he was almost studying you? You weren’t sure, but felt a bit awkward, confused as to why he seemed friendly to everyone else but wouldn’t even smile at you.

“Umm, hi!” You said, laughing nervously and kind of hoping to disappear. Hotch sensed your discomfort and offered you a kind smile before putting you out of your misery.

“Welcome to the team, L/N. Garcia’s told us wonderful things about you. That being said, we’re just closing up tonight, so you could finish up your paperwork finalizing your transfer into the BAU if you haven’t already and then come in for your first day tomorrow?”

“Okay, thank you, Sir.”

“Goodnight, team”

Everyone echoed the “Goodnight” before filing out of the room. You got into the car with your sister and pulled out of the BAU, reflecting on your past and thinking about the next chapter of your life.

After almost everyone else had left, Spencer was still at his desk, thinking. The certified genius, was, for once, completely at a loss. He couldn’t figure it out. Where had he seen you before? He was currently in the process of mapping out every place he’d gone to over the last few months. Every restaurant, every film festival, every face he saw in passing at crosswalks, through car windows, at coffee stands, and, still, nothing.

“Woah, Pretty Boy, slow down! What’s got you so riled up?” Derek says, walking over to where Spencer was hunched over his notebook, furiously writing.

“I can’t figure it out, I know we’ve met before or I’ve seen them before or something. I just,” Spencer put his head in his hands, eyes starting to burn a bit from the strain of writing and concentrating for so long, “I just know it”

“Seen who before?”

“Y/N, the new agent. They’re so familiar, but for some reason I just can’t figure it out”

“Ohh! Garcia’s their sister, right?”

Spencer nodded and Derek came behind him, seeing the messy timeline and pages of notes scattered around the agent.

“Are you sure you’ve seen them? I mean, we see lots of people on the job. You could have just seen someone who looked like them, you know? And come on, Reid, your memory is, like, insane . If you’d met, you’d have remembered”

“I know, that’s what’s got me so messed up.” Spencer sighed.

“Take a rest, kid. It’s late, get back to it tomorrow. Maybe they’ll visit you in your dreams…” Derek said, wiggling his eyebrows and laughing as he walked away.

Spencer laughed, hoping Derek was right. He’d do anything to get more time with you, even if it was in his subconscious. Honestly, he felt a bit bad. He’d been so caught up in figuring how he knew you that he’d kind of forgotten to actually talk to you. Normally, he’d have caught a new recruit before they left, but he didn’t get the chance with you. After packing up, Spencer went home and continued his search with you on the forefront of his mind.

Meanwhile, you had just gotten back to your sister’s apartment. You had your own place but you were new to the team and felt a bit lonely. Mentally, you didn’t want to be alone at home, too.

“Hey, Pen, what’s up with Reid?” You asked. You were confused, you knew he was quiet but he seemed to be actively ignoring you. Even stranger, you caught him intensely staring at you, as if he was trying to figure something out.

“He’s just shy, Y/N. But he’ll warm up to you, don’t worry! Honestly, I think the both of you would be a pretty good match. If you want, I can do some of my famous matchmaking!”

“Please, noooooo,” You groaned, dragging out the word.

“Come on! I’m great at it!”

“No! Remember last time? I ended up on a blind date with a guy who, within the first three minutes, told me he liked me because he saw similarities between me and his parents!! Then, he proceeded to detail their divorce for the next 45 minutes!”

Penelope was laughing hysterically, “I mean, you did say you liked emotionally available people!”

You grabbed a pillow and threw it at her head, dying in your own fit of laughter.

“Alright, that’s it, I’m going to bed. I can’t be conscious in the same house as you anymore” You say, smiling and jokingly flipping your sister off as you walk away and into the guest room.

Naturally, she returned the gesture.

When Spencer arrived at work the next morning, his eyes were bloodshot, hair was sticking up in a million different directions, and clothes were exceptionally disheveled. Anyone else and you would have thought they had a really bad (or great) one-night stand. Although you weren’t close with him, you just didn’t see him being that type of guy. You laughed a bit as he grimaced, taking a sip of what looked like extremely bitter coffee.

Deciding to try and break the ice, you went over to him. “Long night?”

Spencer’s head shot up. “Uh, yeah, I guess you could say that” He said, laughing a bit.

You smiled. Even though he was awkward, you felt at ease in his company. “I get that, I’ve had a few long nights myself. I love the job, don’t get me wrong, but the way the BAU runs is different from anything else I’ve ever dealt with.”

“Yeah. It can be a bit of an adjustment, but you’ll be fine. You’re doing great. I mean, you arrived early, so I can already assume you’re organized. And your desk is a little messy, leading me to believe you’re a creative person. Your handwriting is quite slanted, too. I recognized it from your entry forms. Did you know that’s a sign of high intelligence? Because your thoughts are moving so quickly, your hand can’t keep up in the “perfect” way, so the letters normally slant and become more sloppy.”

You were mesmerized by him. You could watch him talk for hours, truly. Sure, he wasn’t always graceful, but he was so passionate about everything he talked about. You loved listening to people talk about what they love. The way their eyes light up, it makes the energy surrounding them contagious.

Realizing he had just psychoanalyzed you without permission, Spencer looked at your sheepishly, rubbing the back of his neck. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to profile you. It’s sometimes hard to shut off, especially around new people.”

“I get that. It’s okay, I don’t mind.” You said, nodding knowingly.

As you said that, Spencer figured it out. He remembered one time visiting his mother in Vegas and hearing you say those exact words. You were playing the piano, talking to a patient who had just accidentally spilled some water on your sheet music as they took their medicine. “It’s okay, I don’t mind. I was in need of new music, anyway” You had responded, laughing. He was surprised he didn’t immediately recognize you, the beautiful and talented person he’d seen that day. But, it did make sense, in a way. Spencer’s memory is always at its highest and weakest when he’s with his mother. He can remember each of their conversations, verbatim, but everything else fades.

“Spencer? You alright?” He had been kind of spacing out for a few moments and you were afraid you did something wrong.

His attention came back to you and he smiled again, brighter this time. “You play piano.” He stated.

Your breath caught and you let out a small laugh, extremely confused. “Uhh, yeah, I do. I’m sure you’re great, but that seems extreme even for you, Mr. Profiler”

Spencer laughed. “No! I didn’t profile you, I just, I remember you. Las Vegas, March 12th, Psychiatric Hospital, you were playing piano. A patient spilled water on you. I remember you.”

“Oh, right! Ms. Owens! She’s lovely. You were there that day? Well, either that or you just gave yourself up as a damn good stalker”

“No, no, not that,” He said, a shy smile playing on his lips, “My mother’s a patient there, Diana Reid? I’m not sure if you know her.”

“Yeah! She’s quite a character. I always enjoyed playing on days Diana was there.” You reminisced for a second, lost in the memory.

“Were you visiting someone there, too?” He said, pulling you from your thoughts.

“Not exactly. My grandfather was a patient before he passed. He taught me how to play and I kind of just asked the staff if I could volunteer and continue to after he left. They were kind enough to let me. I mean, he always encouraged me to perform and I thought it was a nice way to honor his memory. A few months later I heard from Penelope that there was an opening at the BAU. I moved out, and, well, here I am.” You gestured to yourself, slightly embarrassed after you realized you might have overshared.

Spencer caught onto this, however, and quickly reassured you. “That’s amazing, Y/N. You were amazing when I heard you. I wish I could have heard you play again.”

“Thank you, that’s really sweet, Spencer.” You said, resting your hand atop his, a blush forming in his cheeks at the touch.

“Um, if you don’t have plans. I mean, not to assume you don’t have plans, just if you, you know, happen to not be busy, would you want to maybe get dinner sometime? You don’t have to, of course! I wouldn’t be offended! I just kind of want to get to know you more. If that’s alright with you.” He trailed off, not making eye contact and playing with the buttons on his shirt a bit as he awaited your answer.

Deciding to be bold, you gently turned his face to meet yours and smiled. “I would love to. Tomorrow, pick me up at 8:00?”

“Yeah! Here’s my number, text me your address?”

You smiled and nodded, taking his phone. He took the moment to just look at you. You were truly one of the most breathtaking people he’d ever met. He couldn’t believe he’d just gotten you to agree to go out with him. Even so, he wouldn’t question it. If something in the universe gave this to him, he wouldn’t risk it for a second.

You placed a gentle kiss on his cheek as you slipped the phone back into his hand. As you pulled away, Spencer cupped your cheek and pulled you back in for a kiss. His lips tasted sweet and soft and a sense of serenity washed over you as you stood in the middle of the BAU, kissing him. Everything faded away and quickly came into focus again as he pulled away, far too soon for your liking.

“More of that tomorrow” He whispered, his forehead resting against yours.

You smiled, “That’s fine by me.”

~requests are open~

[satyr-syd]

Seconds after Sero stepped into the blazing heat of the summer sun, sweat already pooling at the base of his spine under his thin tank-top, it began to snow.

Chilly pin-pricks dotted the back of his back. A gust of wind manifested out of nowhere and whipped against his tragically exposed sides. He held out his hand and watched as tiny white specks melted on his sweaty palm. Sero looked up, but the sun still beat down, unhindered by a single wisp of cloud. Goosebumps pimpled down his arms.

Well this sucks.  

He was supposed to meet Todoroki in the quad five minutes ago for their daily study session (Sero had many charming qualities, and being fashionably late was one of them). Ever since their dorm’s AC had been tragically annihilated in an acid-related incident that Sero had absolutely no part in whatsoever, the quad was the best place to study. Outside, there was at least the suggestion of a breeze.

Okay, so it was a bit more than a suggestion now. More like a firm instruction, edging on harsh demand.

Sero rubbed his arms together, elbows tight against his poor exposed sides. Man oh man was he not a fan of winter. Winter meant trying to find the one jacket in the entire mall that suited his specific physique and hoping they still stocked it in his size. Where did the snow even come from? Why did it have to be now of all times? If he tried to make himself a jacket out of his tape would it actually work this time?

While Sero stood there freezing his ass off like an idiot instead of like, going back inside, a white-and-red head made its way through the quad to him.

read on ao3

fic art by @kim-namzoom!!!

“Hanta,” Todoroki greeted. His hair, grown lovingly past his shoulders in the spirit of spite (“My father despises it,” Todoroki had announced proudly after returning from winter break their second year), laid over his shoulder in a loose braid. Sero wondered who’d braided it for him. It looked nice.

By then, an icy sheen coated the ground and the wind blew loud enough to howl in his ear, and the nails on Sero’s fingers began to purple. “Dude, is this you?” Sero asked.

Todoroki shook his head. He stood close, nearly shoulder to shoulder. “I don’t know how to make snow.”

“Huh,” Sero said. “You should learn how. Then we could have snow cones like every day.”

Todoroki held out his hand - the right one - next to Sero’s.Whereas the snowflakes melted into watery mush in Sero’s palm after a few moments, they held their shape in Todoroki’s, forming a lacy layer of crystals over his slender fingers.

“Do you like snowcones?” Torodoki asked.

Sero shrugged. “Dunno, never had one.”

“Neither have I.”

Present Mic’s voice burst through the loudspeakers. “THERE HAS BEEN A QUIRK MISHAP! SORRY FOR THE UNFORESEEN WEATHER, KIDDOS! PLEASE MAKE YOUR WAY BACK TO YOUR ROOMS WHILE WE FIGURE OUT WHAT’S HAPPENING.”

The few students still standing outside slowly filed indoors.

“Maybe one of the first years?” Sero asked.

“Probably,” Todoroki said. He held up his hand. “They’re the ones most lacking in control...and yet, overflowing with arrogance.”

“Wow, sounds like someone I knew in first year.”

Todoroki nodded sagely. “Bakugou was certainly a handful.”

“I know you know who I was talking about,” Sero said, poking his shoulder.

Todoroki smirked. It was just the slight quirk of his lips, barely visible unless you knew to look for it. Sero knew to look. He’s seen that smile a lot, these days. Which was great, because Todoroki had a wonderful smile, but also not great, because whenever he made Todoroki smile, his heart doki-doki ’d so hard that he was positive Todoroki could hear it.

See, asking Todoroki to tutor him had been a highly calculated move that had not one, but two purposes: first, Sero was, is, and (if we’re being honest) probably always will be a terrible student and if there was any chance of him getting decent grades his last year of high school, he needed a tutor. He could have asked the other top-scoring students, but Momo and Kendo were too busy (he wasn’t the only idiot scrambling for a passing grade), Bakugou was too explodey, Iida was too boring, and Midoriya was too muttery. Todoroki was none of those things and also the hottest of the bunch, which lead to purpose number two: as his tutor, he and Todoroki could spend more time alone together. Why? Because six months had passed since Sero admitted to himself that he was no better than every other girl in school and was totally crushing on the Icy-hot hero Shouto and now he’s tired of pining like some basic bitch.

“Let’s study in my room,” Todoroki said.

Sero had been to Torodoki’s room like, a ton of times, but his heart still skipped a beat every time Todoroki invited him. “Lead the way, sensei,” he said.

“I’m not your sensei.”

“Your teaching prowess says otherwise, sensei.”

“Call me sensei one more time and I’ll have Bakugou quiz you on polar coordinates.”

“Now that’s just cruel,” Sero said. He spun in front of Todoroki. “But I don’t think you have the heart to follow through on that - ” Sero tapped his nose to the beat of his killing blow “ -  sen-sei.”

Todoroki stared at him for a moment, pouting, cheeks pink from the cold. Then he pulled out his phone and began texting Bakugou.

“Noooooo shit I’m sorry I’ll stop! It was just a joke!”

This is it,  Sero told himself.  Snow storm wailing outside, holed up in Todoroki’s room, just the two of us - this is my moment.

Todoroki’s room hadn’t changed much since their first year. Decorative pot of bamboo in the corner (fake), tall, dark wooden drawers, a low desk free of clutter, tatami flooring, somehow. That ugly checkered mat by his desk. But where there once was one chair, now there were two. A pair of crocs (never worn) sat in front of his dresser. And on the dresser, crowding the decorative orb, half a dozen framed pictures: Todoroki, Midoriya, and Bakugou at the end of their internship with Endeavor; their class picture from last year; Natsuo and Fuyumi showering Todoroki in hugs; a selfie Sero took of him and Todoroki on their first day of their summer internship with Edgeshot.

There was also a behemoth purple beanbag sitting by the shoji screen. It looked wildly out of place with the rest of his traditional set-up. Sero dragged it over to Todoroki’s desk and flopped down into it.

Over the next twenty minutes, they reviewed that day’s lessons (apparently it’s like, good practice to review what you’ve learned that same day, which was annoying, but Sero’s grades had been going up, so whatever). Todoroki explained over and over until Sero actually understood how to convert Cartesian coordinates to polar coordinates. Maybe he wouldn’t have had to explain so many times if Sero had listened carefully, but, well, it was hard with Todoroki talking to him in the soothing, patient tone he took on when he was teaching. He just looked so cute with his brow furrowed, thinking up a new way to explain a concept that would penetrate Sero’s thick skull. Sero liked to think he had built up a tolerance to buff, attractive men over his nearly-three years at U.A., but he was still weak to Todoroki’s hands, to the way his tight t-shirt clung to his broad shoulders.

The fact that he was cold as shit wasn't helping him focus either. Faint shadows of falling snow danced along the translucent paper walls of the shoji screen, taunting him.

But hey, at least he vaguely understood the polar coordinate system.

“You know, you’re pretty good at this,” Sero said after he finally solved a difficult math problem all on his own. “I bet the others would die to get their hands on your notes.”

“Guess they’ll die, then.”

Sero snickered. “That’s rough, dude.”

Todoroki shrugged. “I’m not going to put effort into something I don’t like to do when I know they won’t appreciate it.”

Sero freezes. “Wait - you don’t like tutoring?”

“Well - ”

“Oh shit, am I making you do something you hate? Bro, why didn’t you tell me, I wouldn’t have - ”

“It’s different when it’s you,” Todoroki said sharply.

Sometimes, it was hard to tell when Todoroki was joking, or if he was actually serious. The look in those blue-brown eyes, though, showed his resolve loud and clear.

Todoroki immediately averted his eyes. “I like helping you,” he muttered, “so it’s fine.”

“Oh.”

Not for the first time, Sero wondered: why him? Todoroki had many other friends ...maybe friends that were smarter than he was and didn’t need tutoring, granted, but other friends he could be hanging out with. What’s the appeal? Was it his wonderfully terrible sense of humor? Was it the muscles he totally wasn't showing off? Was it because they shared the same taste in manga (oh yeah - he should ask Todoroki if he finished with week’s Shonen Champion)? Was it because he, unlike at least half of their year, was capable of talking at a normal volume? Over his time at U.A., Sero had gained more confidence in himself than he ever thought he would, but when it came to Todoroki, he still felt...small. Unsure if the light that shone from a great hero like Todoroki drowned out his own little spark.

Usually things between them were pretty chill, but after that comment, a weird kind of tension settled over the room. Not bad, just quiet, like when there's a sleeping cat on your laps and you're afraid any movement will wake it.

Pretty soon, though, Sero began to shiver. He couldn’t help it - there was a winter storm outside, apparently, and he was in a tank top and jorts, and seriously, did  no one  turn the heat on? Did no one turn the heat on  and  the AC miraculously began working again?

Todoroki was staring at him, too. God, he must have thought Sero was some kind of pansy, getting cold so easily, unable to regulate his own temperature like  some  people (though he guessed in that case, most people would be pansies to Todoroki).

13) Convert 2x−5x   3   =1+xy into polar coordinates.

Sero tapped his pen against his paper. Todoroki’s gaze followed the movement, then returned to his face. Sero could practically feel his impatience.

Sero put his pen down and stretched his arms over his head. Todoroki looked away.  Got’em.  

“You know...” Sero said. Todoroki glanced back at him. “...staring at me isn’t going to help me solve this stupid question any faster.”

“I wasn’t staring,” Todoroki said, crossing his arms like a petulant child.

Sero grinned. Anyone who knew him well can tell you that the Cool and Cold hero Shouto was just as petty as any mortal. Probably pettier, in fact. “You totally were.”

Todoroki frowned. “You were shivering.”

“Yeah, wonder why.”

Todoroki’s gaze shifted over to him. He looked Sero up and down. Sero tried and failed not to shiver. Todoroki’s clenched jaw softed and his eyes smiled and he stared - this time, he  was definitely staring - Sero felt his face heating up (well, that’s one way to get warm).

Wordlessly, Todoroki got up and sat down next to him on the beanbag. Sero fell against him, shoulder to shoulder, hip to hip, thigh to thigh, the tips of Todoroki’s braid tickling his shoulder.

Sero froze up (pun intended). His heart pounded in his ears. But he knew what Todoroki was doing, so he didn’t feel guilty as he curled into his side, basking in the warmth like a cat in a strip of sunlight. And the warmth from Todoroki’s left side began to melt him down.  

He pressed his cheek against Todoroki’s shoulder and said, “I thought you didn’t like people using you as a space heater.”

“Most people.”

Sero smirked. “So you’re saying I’m special?”

Todoroki looked at him and smiled. “Didn’t I say that earlier?”

Ohhhh man oh fuck. How could he just say that, looking at him like that, like he was more than just the plainest guy in class, like he really was special? Sero was known for keeping his cool, for being the chillest dude in the group, but with someone as special as Todoroki looking at him like  he’s  special…fuck.

“I mean, well, like that was just about tutoring and not, you know - ”  nearly sitting in my fucking lap,   “  - sharing personal space.”

“You looked cold,” Todoroki said. He could feel Todoroki’s breath on his cheek. “I didn’t want you to be distracted.”

“I’m a lot more distracted now.”

A part of him cringed as the words left his mouth. Oh god, why did I say that, was that even sexy?  But another part of him pushed that part down and shushed it. This is the opening we’ve been waiting for, it said. Even if Todoroki turned him down, at least he could graduate without any regrets. Maybe he could even tell his grandkids that he once received a  personal  rejection from the great hero Shouto.

“Oh.” Todoroki said, shoulder tensing where Sero leaned against him. Sero braced himself mentally, the same way he did before he launched himself off a building, preparing for the inevitable gut-plunge as he swooped toward the ground. “...me too.”

And there’s the thrill of the upward swing.

Sero was an idiot, but he wasn’t stupid. He wouldn’t have shot his shot if he’d thought he had no chance. Still, hearing Todoroki say he feels it too took him by surprise in the best way possible. Like tasting the sweet tang of umiboshi in the center of a plain-looking onigiri. Like acing a test you thought you failed. Like snow in June.

The air between them was electric but still. Did that count as admitting their feelings? What should he say now? Where were they supposed to go from here? All Sero wanted to do his grab Todoroki’s hand and hold his stupid pretty face in his hands and kiss him silly, but they should probably like, talk about things -

“Hanta.”

“Yeah?”

“Can I kiss you?”

“Oh thank fuck - yes please.”

And then he was kissing Todoroki Shouto, son of number one hero Endeavor, one of the Big Three most promising students at the most prestigious hero school in the country. His lips were soft but clumsy, shy but adamant as he pressed against him. Sero cupped his face and felt the slight inhale of Shouto’s gasp. Despite being pinned down by the weight of Shouto’s chest on his and trapped between the strong forearms framing his face, the light that perpetually emanated from the great hero Shouto wasn’t overwhelming. Sero was warmed by his light instead of cowed by it. In that moment, Shouto’s light drew out the best in him - and his little spark ignited.  

Yet, that question that always nagged him surfaced again: Why me?      

As Shouto’s kisses began to trail down his neck, Sero figured he could ask why later - when Shouto wasn’t busy showing him it’s you, it’s you.      

Even with the frozen tundra battering just outside, Sero was burning up again.

[plethora-of-imagines]

Gingerbread Drunk

AN: It snowed 16 inches so I didn’t have work so I did have time to actually write more this week! So I at least got to post another fic this week!

Word Count: 1401

Description: 13 basically gets caught with her hand in the cookie jar- lacking the actual cookie jar.

Tag List: @c-s-stars @queerconfusionthings @how-masterful @truthbehindthemysteries

You had searched all of the Doctor’s usual haunts for her. She seemed to be nowhere to be found. She wasn’t in the console room, her maintenance room, the library, or even her rarely-used bedroom that had become more of a storage room from random junk collected throughout the universe. You sighed to yourself, having to give up on asking her about what her favorite homemade cookie was. 

As much as she loved custard creams she already had what would be considered a multi-lifetime supply for a normal person. You refused to make her more and encourage her poor eating habits. Even if the spirit of the season had convinced you to make her some cookies anyway. She really shouldn’t live off of cookies and random planet’s dirt and gravel alone. You had given up on getting her to stop sampling dirt to learn about planets, instead choosing to convince her to use some mouthwash tablets afterwards to clean her mouth out. You were not about to kiss a mouth that tasted like gravel. 

You followed the smell of your freshly baked gingerbread cookies to the kitchen. It was easier to follow the smell than to retrace your steps and hope the TARDIS hadn't moved the rooms around. You got lost within the winding corridors almost every day.

The sight that met you in the kitchen inspired fear. The Doctor looking up at you with the look of a deer in headlights. Dozens of cookies missing from the cooling tray. Hadn’t- hadn’t she said that ginger was intoxicating to Time Lords? How drunk was your Time Lord after devouring what looked to be several dozen gingerbread cookies?

"How many cookies did you eat, Doctor?"

The Doctor tensed up when you entered the kitchen. Teeth around the second arm of a gingerbread man. Slowly she opened her mouth and moved the cookie away from her teeth. Leaving the poor, partially consumed cookie somewhat intact.

"I haven't eaten any cookies!" She didn't meet your eyes, instead looking to the cookie in her hand for assistance.  "Have I Mr. Gingerbread?"

"Mister Gingerbread- seems to be missing an arm," you pointed out in an accusing tone.

The Doctor gasped at your words.

"I can't believe- you know it's rude to mention things like that! Even I know that this regeneration, and I'm still quite socially awkward."

Clutching the bitten gingerbread man to her heart the Doctor tried to reassure her new friend.

"Don't worry Mr. Gingerbread. I'll make sure to take you far away from the presence of such a mean human."

"I don't think your stomach is the safest place for him. Though I'm sure the family reunion would be quite touching."

Your voice dripped with sarcasm.

The Doctor's eyes filled with tears. You felt shaken at the sight. She never was this open with her less positive emotions. Preferring to hide behind a cheerful expression. Was she a sad drunk? How would you ever handle her being a sad drunk? Oh no. You were in so much trouble.

"Why are you being so mean to me? I thought you liked me..."

Her voice was sorrowful, pulling even further at your heartstrings.

"I didn't mean to upset you, Doctor. I was just teasing you. I'm sorry."

She covered her face with her hands as she openly started sobbing. You shushed her with tenderness and care as you took her into your arms. Letting her hide her face against your chest.

"Shhh, shhh. It's okay baby. I'm sorry I was so mean and made you sad. Okay? I love you so much, you know that right?"

Gently you rocked her back and forth. You felt absolutely horrid for making her cry like this. Or at least you did. Until you felt her mouth moving against your chest... chewing.

“Doctor, are you pretending to cry to get away with eating more cookies,” you didn’t even bother to pretend that it wasn’t an accusation.

“Noooooo,” she protested with a mouthful of cookie.

You let go of her in exasperation. She was taking advantage of you and your soft nature! She took your face in her hands, squishing it as she finished chewing. 

“You are really squishy, my soft squishy, comfy human. And because you are so squishy and soft you have to forgive me.”

This time it was the Doctor that had pulled you into her embrace. Rocking you back and forth as if you were a plush toy she had picked up. In fact, you could remember her doing just this to a large stuffed animal that had caught her eye in a store once.

“I’m not a toy, Doctor.”

“Course not! You’re my precious human, and humans are not toys.”

She was letting out such soft sighs of contentment that you almost couldn’t stand to pull away. But you slowly did, doing your best to ignore her whines and whimpers. Taking stock of the cookies you estimated that she had devoured three dozen - four dozen at most. Okay, so she was likely to have a really bad headache when she sobered up. You grabbed a glass from the cabinet, filling it with cool water from the tap. You couldn’t believe that you were just going to forgive her like this, to not scold her at all anymore for her crimes... All because you couldn’t handle her tears.

Looking back at her you could see that she hadn’t moved an inch. The only change since you pulled away from her was her quivering lip pulled into a pronounced pout. She looked like she would start crying -for real this time- at any moment. Walking towards her you grabbed her one hand, gently trying to pull her out of the kitchen. You needed to get her away from the cookies before she remembered they were there.

“Come on Doctor, let’s go to bed to cuddle properly. Lots of blankets to cocoon in and we won’t have to move for hours.”

“You won’t pull away from the cuddles again?” She sounded so sad yet hopeful.

“I won’t pull away, Doctor. We can cuddle as long as you like.”

She perked up and started to pull you down the hallway, eager to get to a bed and resume cuddling. Even drunk she seemed to know exactly where to go in the TARDIS. Or at least you assumed she knew where she was going before you noticed the corridors shifting around you. The TARDIS was helping her to navigate. Laughing to yourself. You knew that she was just as hopeless at navigating the TARDIS hallways as she was the TARDIS herself! And now you had proof.

When she opened a door you almost expected it to be some random storage room. Instead, you were met with a deep blue room with a large bed in the center, sunken into the floor. Was this another one of her bedrooms? She had mentioned before that she had more than one due to her hoarding tendencies. You could imagine her flopping face-first into the floor, right onto the bed, whenever she was tired. Which she immediately did as soon as she walked into the room. Thankfully not pulling you down with her.

You almost spilled the water as she yanked you towards the ground to join her on the built-in bed. Carefully you placed the glass down a few feet from the bed. Hoping that neither of you would knock it over while cuddling before the Doctor could drink at least some of it. Gathering you into her arms the Doctor curled around you like you were her own personally heated stuffed animal. A source of comfort and warmth. Her one arm shifted to reach into her pocket. What could she possibly need right now? Or maybe she just wanted to get something uncomfortable to lay on out of her pocket? Either way, you would know soon enough.

“Cookie?” 

Right in front of your eyes was another one of your gingerbread men. She had collected them in her pocket. Of course, she did. You rolled your eyes there was no stopping her.

“Really Doctor?”

You could feel her smile against your hair.

“Sharing is caring and all that but if you don’t want it I certainly do!”

“No! No more cookies Doctor! You’re going to make yourself sick.”

“Fine,” she whined, dragging out the word like a child, “but only because you’re insisting.”

[httpsfelicity]

“In a black dress, she’s such an actress” - Harry Styles × Model Reader AU (Part 2/?)

Summary - Harry meets a model downtown and falls for her quickly, leading the public to think that it’s a pr stunt. Unsure of what to think, the reader plays along, not knowing that Harry is unaware of the rumours.

For @cruizmanadu, @stephaniemalvie!, @kissessfordraco Xx

A/N - Part two! Thank you sooo much for the feedback on part one, I never expected it! Glad you guys like it so far. If you haven’t read part one, click here x Once again, if you’d like a part 3 / have suggestions / ect, just send a DM or ask! Here you go babessss :) 

Harry Styles: Hi

Y/n <3: Hi

Harry Styles: Why are you awake, it’s 3am?

Y/n <3: I could ask you the same thing, you messaged me first!

Harry Styles: You’re right. What’s up?

Y/n <3: Watching TV, you?

Harry Styles: Not much. Listening to The Beatles, y’know, normal night things.

Y/n <3: Never really got around to listening to them personally

Harry Styles: Omg reported and BLOCKED.

Y/n <3: Omg noooooo come back 

Harry Styles: Kiddinggggggg, but I have to make you listen to one of their albums sometime

Harry Styles: Are you free tomorrow?

Y/n <3: I have a shoot all day. I’m free the next day tho

Harry Styles: We could maybe do something then? The park?

Harry Styles: Unless you have a better idea, of course

Y/n <3: No that sounds great! What time?

Harry Styles: 7?

Y/n <3: Sure! :)

Harry Styles: Now, GO TO SLEEP!

Y/n <3: Only if you do!

Harry Styles: Okayyyy, goodnight!

Y/n <3: Goodnight!

Seen: 3:14am

As you crawled into bed, a feeling of satisfaction spread through you. He wanted to spend more time with you - that ought to be a good sign, right? “Maybe this could work out, after all,” was the last thing you thought before you fell asleep.

The next day was the usual whirlwind of events that occurred every shoot day - wake up early, take a cab over to the location (That particular day’s mystery place happened to be an old art studio), take another cab with some assigned lady to get you ready, another cab back to the location, then a whole day of photos. It was all a blur to you, so when the head of the whole operation thanked you at the end of the day, you were glad it was all over. Of course you adored your job, but considering the amount of sleep you’d gotten last night (Which, by the way, you did not regret one bit) you were thankful that in 45 minutes you’d be fast asleep.

What you did not expect, however, was for that little power nap to turn into a full 14 hours. By the time you woke up the next day, it was the crack of 11am. You sat up frantically, taking in your surroundings. You were still wearing your street clothes - jeans and a blouse - and a quick glance in the mirror revealed you hadn’t taken off your extravagant makeup, either. Trust me, it was not a pretty sight. You scrambled for your phone, and aside from all of the usual twitter notifications, DM requests, and messages from Ella and Harry (Which you were over the moon about), you noticed that you had 4 missed calls. From, none other than Harry.

You quickly clicked on his contact and dialed up his number. After a few rings, he picked up.

“Hi!” He said cheerfully.

“Hey,” you laughed. “Why did you call me? Four times, to be exact?”

“Just wanted to make sure we were still on for tonight. But then I got worried when you didn’t answer, so I called again to make sure everything was alright.”

“And again, and again.”

“Correct,” he laughed.

“Rough photoshoot. I was exhausted, and it wasn’t all that exciting. By the time I got home, I was asleep. Literally. I slept for 14 hours straight.”

Harry laughed so hard on the other end that you had to move your phone away from your ear for a couple of seconds so he could calm down. “Oh, wow, I... well, I guess it’s not that funny. That’s awful. You should’ve gotten more sleep the night before!”

“I would’ve, but somebody just had to message me at 3am!”

Cue another round of laughter. “Oh my god... look, I’m sorry, I really am! I didn’t know you had to wake up so early. I won’t message you so late into the night anymore, I promise.”

“Don’t promise that! I quite liked it. Besides, all of those shoots are the same. Nothing worth remembering, if you ask me.”

“Alright, alright, fine. But are we still on for later? If you’re still tired, we can reschedule...”

“No! After twice the amount of sleep I usually get, I feel like I could run a marathon. Seven?”

“Yup.”

“Okay. Gives me enough time to adjust myself to reality.”

This sent both of them into bouts of laughter.

“Alright, well, I’ve gotta go, but I’ll see you then?”

“You’ve got it! Bye!”

“Bye! And for the love of god try not to fall asleep this time, yeah?” He cracked himself up.

“I’ll try!” You replied as you hung up. You sighed, smiled, and then leaned against your headboard, though not for long. You had things to do - number one, get a shower.

Flash forward a few hours, and you were all set. You were wearing a pair of jeans and a blouse, similar to yesterday’s outfits, just with less smeared makeup and bedhead. You had even managed to listen to a few albums while you were doing your hair. You quickly ate a salad for supper, confirmed the meeting spot with Harry, then headed out the door.

You arrived 10 minutes early, and to your surprise, Harry was already there again. 

“How did you get here before me?” You laughed as you walked up to him. “I left even earlier than last time, specifically to race you!”

“Oh, I have my ways,” he grinned. “So, would you like to know what I have planned?” 

“Enlighten me,” you prompted as you began walking past the bushes and flowerbeds with him, admiring his bold, light purple flared pants and white top.

“Well, first we walk through the park. Then, I have a reservation booked for La Sedbe Hyudge. If that sounds okay to you, that is.”

La Sedbe Hyudge was one of the most exclusive clubs in New York. Reservations were crazy expensive, and that’s not including the price of the food and drinks.

“Oh, Harry, you really didn’t ha-”

“No, no, don’t worry about it. The reservation’s already made; there’s no turning back now,” he laughed.

You laughed along with him. “Well, we can just split the final bill.”

“No,”

“But-”

“Don’t worry about it!” 

You sighed. “Okay,” you finally agreed. “Well, anyways, tonight sounds like it will be great fun. Thank you.”

Harry nodded, looking around. You had to admit it, the scenery of the park was very nice. The gardener(s) here must be paid awfully well.

“So, I listened to Fine Line.”

Harry perked up. “Oh?”

“It was - and I’m not just saying this because I li- we’re friends - but it was incredible. I’ve never heard anything like it.”

Harry was trying to hide his smile, but he was failing miserably. “Well, that’s good,” he concluded nonchalantly. 

“No, really! I have Golden stuck in my head. It’s beautiful. And don’t even get me started on Lights Up.”

“You didn’t see the music video, did you?”

“..Yeah?”

“Oh, wow.”

“It was ARTSY!” You laughed, Harry clearly getting embarrassed. “No, in all honestly, it was great.”

“Well, I’m glad you think that,” he smiled. “I wish I could say the same to you, but you don’t sing, obviously.”

“Not my forte, honestly. I was in choir in elementary, but that’s pretty much it. Never really had any interest in the preforming arts. No offense.”

“None taken. I’ve always liked singing, but I didn’t think I’d pursue it as a career. I was very happy at my old job, thank you very much.”

“What was your old job?”

“...”

“...”

“I used to work in a bakery.”

“No way!” “That’s adorable,” you thought as the two of you rounded a corner of the path.

“Yes way! Not to brag, but I was very good at making cinnamon rolls.”

“Now, isn’t that something.”

“That’s not all - macaroons.”

“Oh my god, marry me.”

You continued goofing off for the rest of the walk. You talked about Netflix shows and whether Summer or Winter was the superior season in the taxi, and the best way to make Kraft dinner on the sidewalk. By the time you walked into the restaurant and sat down, you were discussing the importance of a good facemask.

“I don’t know. I just can’t believe you do them.”

“I can’t believe you don’t.”

“Why should I?”

“Do you want me to go over the health benefits again?”

You sighed. “No. I just do not have the patience.”

“For me to explain it again or facemasks in general?”

You smiled. “Both.”

Harry laughed rather loudly, gaining a few odd looks from some stuck-up diners. “You’re lucky you’re cute, y/n.”

Before you could respond, a waiter walked over to your table. “And what could I get for the couple this evening?” He asked.

You and Harry looked at eachother and tried to supress laughter.

“Well, I don’t know about my husband here,” you start, looking over at Harry with a grin. He’s staring back at you and you are positive that he’s gonna blow it at any second, but you decide to keep going, “But I’ll have a glass of red wine.”

“Whatever you want, dear, so I guess I’m driving,” Harry shrugged. “I will have water, please.”

The waiter nodded. “I’ll be right back.”

 As soon as he was out of earshot, the two of you burst out laughing.

“That.. was.... amazing!” Said Harry between laughs.

“I know right!” You agreed. “We have to keep it going all night.”

“YES,” he nodded as a group of teenage girls walked past the table, also laughing uncontrollably.

Then, the waiter returned. “For the lady,” he said as he placed down a glass of  wine. You immediately picked it up and took a sip. 

“For the main course, I’ll have the steak, please,” said Harry in his very-best fancy voice.

“I too,” you said, giggling and taking another sip.

The waiter nodded and headed back to the kitchen. The two of you laughed again. 

Just then, you felt your phone buzz in your purse. “It’s probably nothing,” you thought, choosing to ignore it. But then it went off again. And again. And again.

“You should probably get that,” said Harry, looking at your bag.

“Nah, it’s probably nothing.”

“Alright. I gotta run to he bathroom, and then I’m gonna order a drink for myself, okay?”

“Okay,” you said as you watched him get up. “Bring me back a glass too!”

You watched him walk over to the mens room. Your phone buzzed. He pushed open the door. Your phone buzzed. The door shut behind him. You reached down and pulled out your phone.

Ella: Oh my god

Ella: Y/n

Ella: Where are you right now

Ella: Are you with anybody?

Ella: ?????

Ella: Y/N

Ella: CHECK UR PHONE

You quickly typed up a response, although you were confused as to why she was so worried all of a sudden.

Y/n: I’m at the Sedbe Hyudge with Harry, why?

Ella: *Sent a set of photos*

Ella: Check twitter for more.

You clicked on the photos. The first was a screenshot of an update account, saying that you and Harry were in the park. Then, another tweet from the same account, saying you were at this restaurant. Then, photos of you in the park. And then, photos of you at the restaurant. Under that were screenshots of twitter users.

@Cocopopstyles: I just want Harry to take me on a date like he does with y/n, is that TOO MUCH TO ASK. They’re TOO CUTE.

@Y/nxxxxstyles: ANOTHER WIN FOR THE SHIPPERS THEY’RE AT THE SEDBE HYUDGE DHHHVDHBDCHUDB YES

@HSDaily: Ew lmfao she’s so ugly PLS 

@Stylessssmaple: “I ain’t saying she’s a golddigger, but she ain’t messing with no broke....”

@LaylaHoran: I heard that they were talking to the waiter like they’re an actual couple. A few girls overheard it, idk their @’s tho.

@LarryStylinsonobvs replying to @LaylaHoran: Really?? Omg that’s pretty quick tbh. Weren’t they first seen together days ago?

@LaylaHoran replying to @LarryStylisonobvs: Yeah apparently. Idk what’s going on. Is she a PR stunt or not???

@LarryStylinsonobvs replying to @LaylaHoran: Not to be a bluegreener but she could be a beard... we’ve gotten so much content from them in the past 72 hours like.... are u gonna tell me there’s no contract in there at all?????

@Y/nsflowers: Y/n looks so good in the new pap photos pLEASE MARRY ME MA’AM.

@Y/L/Nsummertime: Y/n is over lmfao can she please cut the bullshit. Wbk she’s in it for the money. The job, the PR stunts, the boyfriend...

@TheDailyPoolsideNews: Model y/n and ex-boyband star spotted out in the town! Will this be the next Hollywood snoozefest?

There was more, but Harry was already back at the table, carrying two glasses and setting them down, smiling. All of a sudden, you had this really sick feeling. You couldn’t look him in the eyes. You took your drink as he sat down. Not wanting to say anything in case it ruined the night, you took a sip and put your phone back in your purse.

“Everything alright?”

You looked up. “Yeah.”

Harry stared at you. You stared back jokingly, trying to break the tension. Harry’s phone started ringing. “Oops,” he frowned, “thought I turned this off...”

“You can take it, it’s okay. I checked my phone before. Plus, I need to use the washroom.”

“Okay,” he smiled as you stood up, smiling back. As you were walking away, you heard him talking to whoever was on the other end of the line. “Hey, Nial- what? No, I am, why-”

You pushed into the womens room and locked yourself in a stall. “What the hell is going on?”

You sit there for a few minutes, trying to collect your thoughts and give Harry some time to finish his conversation. Someone had seen the two of you at the park and in the restaurant, so what? Some people liked you, and some people didn’t. Okay, that’s understandable. Some people hated you. That’s fine, you don’t care. But people still think you and Harry are a PR stunt. This is only your second date! And it’s not eve a date! It’s just a... you put your head in your hands, then sit up, not wanting to smudge your mascara. You reach for your phone, only to remember you left it in your purse, which was currently on the floor next to your chair next to Harry. God.

And, to make matters worse, he had gotten a phonecall and from what you had heard when you were walking away, he sounded worried. Perfect! That was probably his management. Or, better yet, one of his friends doing the same thing Ella had done to you. Suddenly, you jumped up and walked back out to the table. He was fiddling around with his napkin. When he saw you, his face lit up. You didn’t buy it.

“Hi, sorry, it was just one of my friends. He wanted to t-”

“Oh, it’s fine,” you said, politely cutting him off.

Harry was taken back by this, but not for long. He wasn’t fazed easily. “Oh, okay. That’s good. Sorry for taking so long. Oh, and I don’t want this anymore, so if you want it, you can fill yours up. Otherwise, I’m just gonna give it to the waiter when he comes back.”

You never drank too much. You knew three glasses would be awful for you. But you took his and filled yours up, because “I don’t want to waste anything. This place is so expensive.”

Soon after, the waiter dropped off your meals. Harry was speaking less, more unsure of himself than before, but you didn’t notice. You made polite small talk, but it wasn’t like your antics from before. Yet when you were leaving, you did not split the bill. Harry still paid.

When you walked outside, it was dark. You hadn’t expected it. You laughed. Harry laughed. “Let’s wait over here for a taxi, yeah?”

You nodded and followed him. You sat on a bench. Harry messaged somebody. You swung your feet a little. Harry took a call. You stayed seated, watching people walk by. Harry came back over and helped you walk to the taxi, arm around your back. You tried to tell him you didn’t need his help, but he didn’t listen. 

Harry gave the taxi driver his address. You gave him yours, but he didn’t listen. You spoke up again, but Harry told you not to worry; you could spend the night with him. You nodded.

Harry helped you out of the taxi. You didn’t fight back. You tried to pay for the taxi, but he wouldn’t take your money. You held his hand as you walked through the doors of his apartment building, got in the elevator, got to his apartment. He sat you down on the couch and went off to his room. He came back shortly after.

“I don’t have any pyjamas for you.”

“Why would I need pyjamas?” You laughed a little, and then a lot.

Harry smiled. He went back to his room and came back with a shirt still wrapped in plastic and a bag.

“Here. The bathroom is over there. There’s makeup wipes on the counter.” He helped you up and you walked over. 

“Why do you have makeup wipes? Do you wear makeup?”

“Yep!” Said Harry. “Just turn the lock to the left. It’s tricky sometimes, try it a few times if it doesn’t work, yeah?”

“That’s so cool, can you show me your makeup sometime?”

“Yep! Maybe after you get your pyjamas on.”

“Really?”

“Mmhm!”

You shut the door and turned the lock, though you doubted you’d need it. You took off your fancy clothes and put on a pair of brand new too-big black sweatpants and a too-big pink t-shirt. Why did you need pyjamas again? Harry hadn’t answered. He wasn’t sending you home in pyjamas, was he? Uh oh.

You walked out. Harry was in the kitchen. “Do you need anything?”

“A drink.”

“Water?”

“Wine, dummy.” You cracked up at this.

“You’ve already had more than enough. C’mon, let’s go to the living room.” He grinned. 

“Whyyyyyy?”

Harry smiled patiently. “C’mon, y/n. We can watch a movie or something.”

“Okay. Wait - can I just have orange juice instead?”

“Of course.” He grabbed a can of juice and then walked into the living room. You followed. There were pillows and blankets on the couch, and Disney+ was set up.

“Ooou, fancy,” you laughed.

Harry crawled under the blankets. You did too. He laughed. So did you. Why were you even upset with him in the first place? You couldn’t remember. Harry grabbed the remote and turned on some show you’ve never heard of before. The Mandalorian, whatever that was. You leaned your head on Harry’s shoulder. It wasn’t even boring - why were you falling asleep? 

Harry closed his eyes - he was tired, too, but for different reasons. You listened to his breathing get slower. You held him tightly. You held him back. 

“Friends don’t hold friends that way,” you thought to yourself. “But who cares?”

You fell asleep. So did he.

You forgot about the stunt rumours. So did he.

He forgot about how his friend called him in a panic, not wanting this relationship to get ruined for him like the last one, and the one before that, and the one before that. About how he really, really liked you, but couldn’t act on it. He wanted to give you the world. Yes, he fell too quickly, too easily, but who could blame him?

And you forgot about Ella in the same panic. She didn’t want this to get ruined for you, of course, because this was your first shot, your first love (Although not that she’d know - you had to admit you had been a bit distant with her since you met Harry.) She didn’t want you to fall into the hands of the public eye. She wanted to make sure you were safe. She wasn’t sure if you should trust Harry, so of course she should be worried.

But you trusted him.

And he trusted you.

And everything is okay.

Until 3am.

A/N PT 2 - While you’re waiting for part 3 (which is definitely coming btw!) check out my other fics through this masterlist HERE!