#and every day i wake up and the first thing i have to do is start fighting this demon again.

[seungkw1]

love me right — ksy

♡ pairing: roommate!hoshi x afab!reader ♡ theme: smut [18+ mdni], humor ♡ wc: 4.1k ♡ warnings: oral (f. & m. receiving), unprotected piv sex (do not do this), multiple orgasms, a lil spit play, head pushing, thigh riding, somnophilia, cum eating/swallowing, cumming in pants, like 2 seconds of angst, praise kink, hs is down bad for reader, gendered pet names (baby, good girl, pretty girl, etc), bit of fluff at the end ♡ a/n: this is part 2 to make me !! finally got this written hope yall like <3

Ever since you sort-of-accidentally had sex with your roommate for the first time, he’s been nothing but a fucking menace. 

Not in a bad way - no, despite the fact that he's kind of an actual insane person he's always been and continues to be a very considerate and agreeable roommate. There's no problem with your living arrangements. 

The problem is how fucking insatiable he has become. 

You previously never thought there could be such a thing as too many orgasms, but Soonyoung really is testing your limits. You've never had so much sex in your life - and you're not mad about it by any means. But your roommate-turned-friend with benefits is absolutely, utterly, wholeheartedly obsessed with having his entire face buried in your pussy at all possible times. And you love every second of it. 

Sure, sometimes your clit kinda feels like it's gonna fall off. Most of the time you've barely recovered from the last set of two, three, four orgasms (the current record is six, a record he's determined to beat) before he’s back between your legs again. But the constant cunnilingus leaves you more sensitive than ever before - and the more you squirm beneath his tongue and scream and cry as he takes you to paradise, the more it gets him off. One time you were wailing his name so much that he actually came in his pants, fully hands-free. The man simply worships you. 

You've had various kink-related conversations over the past couple months of nonstop boinking, as these things come up. You wouldn't necessarily say Soonyoung is into anything too crazy (besides the occasional burst of tiger roleplay, anyway), but so far he's been enthusiastically down for everything you've expressed interest in. He’s the very definition of matching one’s freak. 

“You know what would be hot?” Soonyoung asks you one day, approximately two minutes after you woke up and emerged from your room.

“Good morning to you too,” you tell him through a sleepy yawn.

“What if,” he continues anyway, “hypothetically, I were to wake you up one day by eating you out?”

“Soonyoung is it nine in the morning,” you reply as you give him a dull glare. You go to make yourself a cup of coffee, but he extends a full mug to you. You take the cup - it’s fresh, piping hot. 

“Oh, thanks,” you say, surprised by the kind gesture.

“So?” he prods, eagerly awaiting your reply.

“I mean, yeah, I wouldn’t be mad about that,” you answer with a small shrug.

“NOICE,” he exclaims, pumping his fist in the air.

“BUT-” you quickly add. “That cannot be an everyday thing.”

“Right, of course not,” he agrees with a nod. “Soooo, when can I try it?”

“Well, I can’t tell you that,” you reply straightforwardly. “It’s supposed to be a surprise, that would like, defeat the whole point.”

A wide grin spreads across his face, but he shakes it off right away, playing it cool. 

“Okay cool, well I’ll keep that in mind,” he says, grabbing your hand and shaking it vigorously. “Pleasure doing business with you.”

You roll your eyes at him. 

“You’re so fucking stupid,” you gibe, but your face cracks into a smile. He pulls you in and kisses you. 

“Love you too.”

You freeze. 

You may have been intimate with him more times than you can count, but your relationship is strictly casual. You only kiss when you're fucking, and the words I love you have never once been uttered by either of you. You know he probably was saying it facetiously, but the way he said it was so nonchalant. So… realistic. You stare at him for a second, not knowing how to respond. His smile slowly drops. 

“Oh, sorry,” he apologizes. His ears immediately turn red with embarrassment. 

“No no it’s fine,” you babble, trying to backtrack. “I just wasn't expecting…”

“I was just kidding,” he responds. Then his eyes widen. “I mean not like that, it's not that-”

“It’s fine!!” you quickly interject before he can say anything else. “I know what you mean.”

“Sorry,” he murmurs again. He suddenly realizes he's still holding onto your hand - he swiftly lets go. 

“Thanks for the coffee,” you tell him politely with a smile, trying to change the subject. 

“Of course,” he replies, trying to smile back at you, but you can tell he's still sulky. He departs from the kitchen without saying another word. He emerges from his room about a minute later in athletic gear, his gym bag slung over his shoulder. 

“Off to workout already? I thought you were going this afternoon” you inquire, but he's already breezing past you. 

“Yeah, Mingyu just texted me and wanted to meet earlier,” he answers as he grabs his keys. 

It’s a bad lie, and you both know it. But you don't press him further. 

“Okay, have fun!” you say cheerfully. But an air of tension remains. 

“Thanks,” he replies, turning back to glance at you for only a brief second. 

“Hey,” you say softly. “Soonyo-”

He's out the door before you have a chance to finish even saying his name. 

You stand there for a few moments, staring at the front door, wondering if you've just fucked everything up. You didn't mean to, of course. You were just so taken aback by the stupid L word. It's not something you ever expected to hear coming from Soonyoung’s lips, not about you anyways. But now it has you thinking. Was he simply joking around? Or does he actually have… feelings for you?

A small blip of a thought enters your mind: and do you have feelings for him?

You push it away before you can think about it any further. 

The next few days are undoubtedly a bit awkward. Soonyoung is clearly avoiding you - not in a malicious way, but he just so happens to have business elsewhere whenever you're at home. 

You're mildly annoyed, but more so you're feeling gloomy about the whole situation. You never meant to do anything to push him away - near-constant fucking aside, Soonyoung truly is a good friend. And now you find yourself missing him. 

After an entire week of this nonsense, you decide to confront him. You pretend to be going to sleep, anticipating that he’ll spend some time alone in the common area. A few minutes later your hunch is confirmed when you hear the tv come on, its volume low. You quietly open your door and sneak into the living room. You approach the couch slowly from behind - when you arrive at it, you jump around and plop down next to Soonyoung. 

“FUCK,” he yelps, nearly jumping out of his seat.  “You scared me!”

“I'm horny,” you tell him bluntly, scooting up next to him. “Let me suck your dick.”

Soonyoung stares at you, looking into your eyes that are now mere inches from his. You can tell he desperately wants to say yes, but he resists. You give him a flirty look, trying to entice him. 

“Pleaseeeee?”

“Well, I was gonna watch a movie…” his sentence trails off, unfinished. He tries to shift his focus away from you, but his eyes keep flickering back to yours. 

“Seriously?” you ask, crossing your arms. “Since when do you turn down head?” 

“Y/n…”

You wait for him to continue, but he doesn't. 

“Yes?”

He looks you in the eyes again, then sighs. 

“I dunno, I’m just not in the mood right now,” he finally answers. He looks away sullenly. 

“Are you okay?”

He looks back at you. He clearly wants to tell you something, but he hesitates. 

“About the other day…” he finally speaks. He pauses, in case you have something to say. You don’t; he continues.

“I didn't mean to make things weird. When I said that I loved you.”

“You didn't,” you assure him. You note that he didn’t say anything about it not being true, but you try to ignore that right now. 

You take his hand in yours, patting it softly. He looks at you, surprised by the gesture. 

“I was being weird, that's on me.”

His mood cautiously lightens. “You sure?” he verifies. 

“100%,” you say with a nod. He smiles at you. 

“Now will you please put your dick in my mouth?” you request again, looking into his eyes seductively.  

A smile creeps onto his face. 

“I mean if you're gonna be this fucking hot…”

You give him a mischievous smirk. You tug at his tshirt; he immediately takes it off. He groans as you grab his dick through his sweatpants, his cock starting to harden instantly in response. One thing about Soonyoung - you can do the bare minimum and he’ll have a boner within five seconds. You lick your lips, stroking him slowly through the soft gray fabric. He lets out a deep exhale, relieved by your touch - it had only been a week, but he missed you badly. He craved your touch, craved how insane you make him feel. He drops his head back, his legs spreading as he settles into the couch, shifting his pelvis up so you have full access to his groin. You rub your hand over the thick bulge, squeezing and pulling lightly, causing him to let out a pathetic-sounding moan. He is putty in your hands. 

About a minute more of your over-the-pants handjob and Soonyoung is rock fucking hard. You slide off the couch, taking to your knees between his spread thighs. You pull at the elastic waistband, tugging it down over the pulsating bulge in his underwear. You place your mouth on him through the fabric, letting him feel your lips, your hot breath on him. 

“Stop teasing me,” he begs after you plant several more kisses on his clothed dick. “Please.”

You gaze up at him, your eyes filled with lust. You reach into his underwear, retrieving his cock, prompting further pathetic moaning. He is leaking with precum - you take him in your fist, stroking up and down at a pace that he finds painfully slow. You place your lips atop the head, lightly sucking up his juices. He cries out as you then swirl your tongue over his tip.

“Aaaah,” he groans, his voice turning gravelly.

You grab his balls and take the rest of the head into your mouth. You hollow your cheeks as you begin sucking on it slowly - each motion of your lips long and drawn out. Saliva accumulates in the back of your mouth - and an overwhelming wetness accumulates in your underwear.

You draw your head back, gazing up at Soonyoung submissively. You collect your saliva, spitting it onto his cock - it trickles downwards. Wrapping your hand around his girth you spread it over his full length, coating his cock with your spit. 

“Oh wow,” he mutters, nearly going cross eyed. You take his cock in your mouth once more, swallowing more and more of him until his entire length is down your throat. 

“Goddamn baby,” he growls as you bottom out. You begin to bob your head, sucking him off. The sounds being made right now are grotesque - slurping and gagging from you, moaning and grunting from him. But it's only turning you on even more. 

“Ohh that's a good girl,” he grumbles as he pets your hair. You increase your pace - saliva coats your lips, dripping down your chin, spreading across your face. The utterly sloppy head has Soonyoung writhing beneath you, babbling unintelligibly as his orgasm draws near. 

“Feels so good baby.” 

“Fuck you’re so hot.”

“Pretty girl sucking my cock so good right now.” 

His other hand ventures to your head, holding you down as his hips jerk and shake. Your throat aches from him fucking it, your eyes well with tears - but your clit throbbing against the stickiness that has flooded your panties proves how much you fucking love this. 

“Ohhhhhmygoddddd,” he groans through gritted teeth. “Fuuuuck, y/n… I’m gonna cum…”

He pushes your head down as he releases, giving you several hard thrusts as his cum spurts down your throat. You let him fill you up, eagerly swallowing each burst of his load. His hips slow as his climax wanes. His arms plop onto the couch cushions, his body sinking into the sofa as his body relaxes. He drags one hand to your face, grasping your jaw gently as he slowly pulls you off of his sensitive throbbing cock. He wants to look at you so bad, see that pretty little face with those pretty swollen lips covered in both your juices - but his energy is too drained to even lift his head. 

“C’mere,” he pleads softly. 

You pull yourself back up onto the couch, pressing your body closely against his. You lay your head on his shoulder as your fingertips delicately trace up and down his cock - it pulsates at your touch. 

He turns his head to face you, his nose brushing up against yours. He lifts one hand, tenderly cradling your cheek. 

“Can I kiss you?” he asks, his voice low and husky. 

You feel a pang deep in your stomach. You've been scared to admit it this whole time, but at this point it's undeniable: you are falling in love with your roommate. And god do you want to kiss him. 

“Yes,” you whisper, the word hot and breathy against his lips lingering before yours. 

Soonyoung grabs your face with both hands, pulling you deep into his kiss. His lips hungrily lock onto yours, his body stilling except for his chest, rising and falling with slow, heaving breaths. He kisses you, and kisses you, and kisses you, holding you tightly, refusing to allow any physical space between you two. You want to stay here for all of eternity.

Slowly, your mouths part - he gives your bottom lip a few more tugs before letting go. His forehead rests against yours, both of you exhaling deeply in tandem. His hands drop to your waist, touching you gently as the warmth of his breath greets your face. He looks into your eyes as he holds you. 

“Can I sleep with you tonight?”

You nod. Quickly tucking his remaining erection back into his sweats, he takes your hands and pulls you up with him, kissing you with each step as you stumble together into your room. You plop onto your bed, pulling Soonyoung on top of you. He rolls over, holding you snugly against him, your legs tangling together as he starts making out with you again. Your aching cunt presses against his thigh as you wrap your legs around him; you begin to grind your hips slowly.

“Wait,” he pauses. He reaches for your shorts, sliding your pajamas and panties off of you. You kick them the rest of the way off, discarding them somewhere on the bed, your shirt quickly joining them. He yanks his own pants off; you straddle his thigh again, your soaked cunt greeting his skin. 

“Oh my god,” he groans. “It’s so fucking wet.”

Your hips begin again, dragging your pussy up and down his thigh, your juices spreading everywhere. You whimper at the stimulation, riding Soonyoung’s thick muscular quads as he wraps his arms around your torso. You cling to him as he draws you in close, his mouth wandering to your neck to plant a string of small kisses on the delicate skin. Ceaseless moans escape you as a fire builds in your gut, the burning pleasure of your climax rapidly approaching. 

“Fuck I’m gonna cum,” you cry out as you frantically get yourself off on Soonyoung’s thigh. You feel his cock growing hard again - it presses into your belly as it strains against the fabric of his underwear. 

“Cum for me babe,” his low voice speaks softly into your ear. 

Desperately grinding your pussy on his thigh, you finally release. You scream his name as you cum, legs trembling as your body shakes with vigor. Soonyoung holds you tight, kissing your cheek lovingly as you orgasm in his arms. 

“That's my girl,” he murmurs as he kisses your lips. You begin to come down, but your head is still spinning from the overwhelming stimulation. You try to catch your breath, slowing your breathing as Soonyoung rubs your back - but his touch and the warmth of his body sends you into a deep state of relaxation. He whispers something else to you, but before you can even process what he's saying, you are fast asleep. 

You’re awoken the next morning by loud, moaning cries.

Still half asleep, you begin to register a familiar bodily sensation. Only when you pry your eyes open and see Soonyoung situated between your legs, do you realize you’re the one moaning. His face is buried in your pussy, licking you slowly, tasting you, savoring every moment of having his tongue in your cunt. 

He lifts his eyes, noticing that you’re now conscious.

“Soonyoung what the fu- ohhh,” you question, but are cut off by his lips attaching themselves to your clit. 

“Good morning beautiful,” he mumbles into your cunt, refusing to take his mouth of you for a second. 

“Oh my god,” you groan. “I forgot I told you you could do this.”

He pauses, looking up at you. 

“Do you want me to stop-”

“NO,” you shout, louder than you meant. You lift your hips, putting your folds back in his mouth. He smiles into your cunt, eagerly resuming eating you out.

“Good,” he replies, barely audible as his tongue begins working into your hole again. 

Your back arches as his nose presses into your clit, making it throb desperately. He flattens his tongue, licking you all the way up, then swirling around the sensitive bud. 

“Ahhh,” you cry out involuntarily. “You’re gonna make me cum already.”

This only eggs him on further. He wraps his arms around your thighs, grasping you tightly as the tip of his tongue quickly flicks over your clit.

“How- fuck, how long have you been down there?”

He glances up at you again, sticking his tongue out exaggeratedly as he continues licking you. 

“I dunno, like five minutes maybe.”

“Five?!” you proclaim as your head falls back onto the pillow. You run your fingers through his hair. “That’s it?”

Soonyoung smirks, planting several kisses on your pussy. 

“You were already soaking wet when I got here,” he informs you. “Must’ve been dreaming about me.”

“Oh shut the fuck up,” you pretend to be annoyed with him, but the moans escaping from your lips undermine your facade. 

“C’mon, you like it,” he teases.

“Yeah,” you admit. “I do.”

He grins widely. “Good girl.”

His praise and the way his tongue is now circling your clit send you over the edge. You whine as your orgasm approaches - loud, pathetic sounds filling the air as he sucks and slurps between your thighs. 

“Don’t stop,” you beg. 

The sensation builds and builds, making you squirm beneath him as every nerve in your body erupts with overwhelming delight.

“Oh fuck- I’m cumming,” you shriek as you reach your high. You cum on his tongue, long and hard - riding out your orgasm on his face accompanied by loud, unabashed cries of pleasure. As your body starts to relax, you release the tight grip you didn’t realize you had on his hair, stroking his head as he softly laps up your release. 

“Come here,” you tell him softly, but he doesn’t move. He seems to be even more relaxed than you are right now.

“Just a second,” he responds through deep breaths, his body sinking into the bed.

“Oh my god, did you…”

“Cum in my pants again?” he finishes your question for you. “Yeah. I did.”

He lifts his head, his eyes glazed over in post-orgasm bliss. 

“You’re so hot, I couldn’t help it,” he says with an amused grin.

Finally able to move, he rises - his underwear visibly filled with cum. He crawls back up to you, plopping onto his back right beside you. He peels the ruined underwear off, tossing them aside, then stares down at his own mess.

“Lemme just, um…” 

He goes to get up, intending to go clean himself off, but you pull him back onto the bed.

“I got it.”

You scoot yourself down, positioning your face near his groin. Slowly you begin to lick his own cum off of him.

“Jesus fuck, y/n,” he groans, his voice deep and low. “You’re filthy.”

“Don’t act like you don’t think this is hot.”

“Oh I do,” he says proudly. “Very fucking hot.”

He strokes your hair as you clean him up. As you finish he pulls you back up, laying you on top of him as he wraps his arms around you once more. Both of you are sweaty, and the embrace is nearly too warm - but neither of you want to move. 

You lay there in silence, your head tucked comfortably into his shoulder, peacefully listening to the songbirds chirping as warm morning sunlight filters into the room through the blinds. Soonyoung is breathing so steadily that you think he's fallen asleep underneath you, but eventually you hear your name softly muttered from his lips. 

“Hey, y/n?”

“Hmm?” you reply sleepily without moving. Soonyoung caresses your back, dragging his fingertips gently up and down over the soft skin. 

“What are we?”

You lift your head, propping yourself up by your elbow. You look down at Soonyoung - he gazes up at you, waiting for your response.

“I don’t know,” you answer after thinking for a moment. “What do you want us to be?”

He reaches for your face, stroking your cheek gently. 

“I wasn’t lying the other day.” He stares into your eyes. Despite the fact that he literally just had his face buried in your pussy, it feels overwhelmingly intimate. Your stomach churns anxiously.

“I really do love you.”

You knew he was going to say it, but your heart skips a beat anyway. Hearing him say it out loud, hearing him confess his love to you - it’s a thought that previously scared you. But you no longer fear confronting this reality. Now that you’re here, it feels comfortable, it feels right. 

“I’m sorry if that makes things weird between us, but it’s the truth,” he says timidly. “I just can’t deny it any longe-”

You cut him off with a kiss. 

You kiss him for far too long - but it’s never long enough. When your lips part at last, you gaze at him lovingly, a big, cheesy grin growing upon your face.

“I love you too, dummy.”

He stares back at you, mouth agape. He finally processes your words, his face lighting up with excitement.

“Really??” he asks you in awe. 

“Really really,” you nod.

He embraces you with explosive enthusiasm, making you yelp as he rolls over on top of you. You giggle as he gives you a series of rapidly-placed kisses all over your face. 

“Stop itttt,” you cry through your laughter. “That tickles!”

“Sorry,” he says with a big goofy smile. “I’m just really excited.”

“Yeah, I can tell,” you say as you grab his boner that has quickly returned.

He beams at you. “What can I say, you make my dick happy.”

“God, you’re such a dork,” you tell him as you roll your eyes. But you guide his tip to your entrance, shifting your hips to take him inside you.

“Ohh fuuuuck,” he mumbles, his eyes rolling back into his head. He starts slowly sliding his overstimulated cock into you, grunting when his whole length is inside. He rests, unmoving.

“You good?” you ask him.

“Yeah, just trying not to cum immediately,” he says, grinning.

“Soonyoung, you are crazy.”

“Crazy for you,” he says with a kiss. 

You spend the rest of the day in bed together, making out, fucking, napping - anything, so long as you don’t have to leave his side. Soonyoung, being Soonyoung, tells you he loves you no fewer than 12 more times.

“So,” he asks as you intertwine your fingers with his, holding hands after he goes down on you for probably the fourth time today. “Does this mean I can call you my girlfriend now?”

You try to answer, but you’re trying to catch your breath after your millionth orgasm. 

“Hmmmm?” he pesters.

“Gimme a… fucking second…” you mumble, pushing him away playfully. He gets right back in your face.

“I’m not hearing no…” he says, kissing your nose.

“Oh my god, yes, Soonyoung. The answer is yes.”

He grins from ear to ear, then wraps his entire body around yours, clinging to you like a koala.

“Yayyyy!" he replies as he nuzzles his face into you. 

“You know,” he says after a few moments of silence. “I’m pretty hungry…”

“You better mean real food this time,” you tell him sternly. “I don’t think I could handle any more orgasms today.”

“Yes, real food,” he chuckles. “Shall I order delivery from that Thai place you like?”

“Yes please, I’m fucking starving.”

“You got it, baby.”

[zorrasucia]

❛ i’m not wearing any underwear. thought you’d like to know. ❜ carmy berzatto pls

Hi Anon! ✨

Of course! This is some established relationship naughtiness at The Bear. I hope you enjoy it! 💜

It was one of the first days of fall, and probably one of the last warm days of the year. And so, you were enjoying the weather: wearing your favorite dress and cleaning your apartment with the window open to let the soft breeze in. Your phone rang, the name on the screen read Sydney 🐻.

"Hi, Syd," you greeted her with a smile.

"Hey, uh," she hesitated, the sound of a hectic kitchen in the background. "Remember you told me I could call you when Carmy was being a pain in the ass? I know it was a joke and, you know, I'm not his babysitter and you're not either. Like, I know that. But, uh-" she had a nervous tone in her voice.

"Syd, it's okay," you reassured her. "It's Saturday, I bet things are insane in the kitchen."

"You have no idea," she let out a nervous chuckle. "I seriously wouldn't even be calling if I-"

Syd was right, that you weren't Carmy's babysitter but you could probably talk some sense into him. Besides, you didn't have work today - and they'd probably give you leftovers for your troubles.

"Hey. I'm on my way," you said. "Don't worry."

"Okay, okay," Syd sighed. "I'll, uh, I'll try to chill in the meantime."

You grabbed your keys and bag... You suddenly had a sinful idea and grinned.

~

You walked through the back door, avoiding servers and chefs, mumbling 'behind' every so often like you'd seen the rest of them do. You could make out Carmy's hoarse voice between all the noise.

"This steak is fucking dead! Refire. Chefs, wake the fuck up!"

"Hey, Carm," you called him.

He turned to look at you, eyes wide and fiery. "What are you doing here?" he rasped.

"Do you have a sec?" you said with a polite smile.

"Not really. I-" he looked disoriented and frantic.

Syd stepped in, looking determined. "I'll handle it. Go."

Carmy led you inside his office, exasperation radiating from him.

"Why are you-?" he started.

"Uh, Syd called," you replied, giving him a knowing look as he closed the door behind you.

"Fuck."

"Yeah. She said you were being a pain in the ass," you leaned on his desk.

"I- uh-" he hesitated, then covered his face, red from the heat of the kitchen but also from anger and shame. "She- she was being nice. I'm being an asshole."

You sat on his desk and sighed. "Thought so."

"Huh?" he tilted his head. You had caught him by surprise.

You gestured for him to come closer, so you could talk softer and look him in the eye.

"Listen, I know it gets super loud in your head, and you get overwhelmed and you lash out," you had seen it happen once or twice. "You need to step down when that happens."

"Syd-" he avoided your gaze. "Yeah, Syd has suggested it."

"So?" you cupped his face and tilted it towards you. "Can you do that? Can you let go for ten minutes and calm the fuck down?"

He blinked hard, stressed.

"I don't know," he confessed after a moment of consideration.

"I think you can, Carm," you encouraged him. Then, you put the second, more inappropriate part of your plan in motion. You grabbed his chef whites, and brought him closer, opening your legs to accommodate him. Then you whispered: "I'm not wearing any underwear. Thought you'd like to know."

Carmy stared at you, mouth agape.

"We're in the middle of service-"

"Listen," you gestured at the door. There were no loud bangs or screams, just the normal bustle of a kitchen; if anything it was quieter than when you first entered. "Syd is handling it. The rest of the kitchen is functioning. The sky isn't falling," you grabbed his face with both hands. "Now, will you just fuck me?"

"Shit."

He leaned down to kiss you hard, all tongue and teeth, biting a little. You ran your fingers through his hair, bringing him closer, crossing your ankles behind his waist.

"I need this to be fucking fast," he rasped against your lips.

"I know," you smiled while untying his apron and unbuckling his belt.

The mere indecency of showing up to Carmy's place of work planning to fuck him had made you wet enough to take him that very moment.

"Condoms?" he asked.

You took one out of your bag and handed it to him, palming his cock impatiently through his trousers.

"Fuck, baby," he groaned, eyes rolling to the back of his head.

He lowered his trousers and boxers just enough to pull out his cock. He grabbed the back of your knees to pull you closer to the edge of his desk, something feral about him. You bunched up your dress all the way up to your hips, confirming that you were indeed bare under it. Carmy's eyes widened.

"Shit..." his fingers touched your drenched pussy. "You planned this, the whole thing."

You nodded proudly, biting on your lip when he entered you.

"Can't believe you showed up, in the middle of service-" he murmured. "Jesus... To fuck me."

"Desperate times," you touched your forehead to his, his gaze intense. He bottomed out and you covered his mouth to muffle a whine. "See? I think you need it."

That was the tiny push he craved.

He fucked you mercilessly, forceful thrusts while he grabbed your thighs hard, keeping you on the edge of the desk, right where he wanted you. His rhythm was frantic, half out of urgency and half out of anger. You kept your hand on his mouth, silencing the tirade of curses and primal groans he was blurting. Your eyes were on him, breathy pleas leaving your lips.

"Give it to me. It's okay. Please. I need you. Please," you weren't sure if he could actually hear it all but you couldn't stop, not when you were so close to your release. Your pussy tightened around his cock, pulsing.

His grip on you faltered, eyebrows raising as he looked at you for confirmation.

You nodded, eyes half lidded in ecstasy. "Let go, baby. Let go."

He gave you a few desperate thrusts, your palm vibrating with the sound of his moans as he came.

Suddenly, the room felt eerily quiet, the only sounds that mattered were Carmy's panting and your heart's beating. You lowered your hand from his mouth to his chest.

"Shit," he closed his eyes, collecting himself.

"Mhmm," you swayed in your seat, moving his softening cock as you did so. "Better?"

He nodded, a little sheepish. "Thank you."

"Hey. Can't do this every time," you said honestly. The likelihood of you coming to fuck some sense into him on weekdays was low to none. "But why don't you think about this next time you're about to lose it?" you suggested.

"You want me to get hard while running the expo?" he chuckled. His heartbeat was slowing down.

"I mean, if that's what it takes to get you to step down and chill, sure," you teased.

While the idea of Carmy fucking his hand while thinking of you was appealing, it seemed a little impractical to do at the restaurant.

"Might just take a smoke break," he offered. "Save the fucking for when I get home."

"Deal," you kissed him and tapped his cheek gently. "Now, come on, get out there."

He got dressed and ready at a dizzying speed, taking time to rearrange your dress and kiss you one last time before returning to the kitchen. He left the door ajar, and you peeked just in time to see him give an apologetic nod to Syd and ask her to continue running the expo. It was a start. You were satisfied.

[yurunivo]

Hello! I really love you self aware idea! Can you please make another part? This time Can you focuse more on Mavuika and the Creator!Reader (Gender Neutral),please? (Also om how the other archons and Neuvillete would be trying to search for the reader and maybe using other organizations to help the search) if not please feel free to ignore this. Have a wonderful day!

This is my first time getting a request! Hope you enjoy!

Synopsis: hanging out with Mavuika! (And the other nations' planning to reach you) part 1

TW: Mavuika and reader's relationship is implied romantic but can be read as platonic, OOC, yandere, SAGAU imposter au, bad writing, bad grammar, english is not my first language, not beta read

Characters: Mavuika x gn!creator!reader (again can be seen as romantic or platonic), yandere Archons + Neuvillette x reader

Cleaning at bars was a tedious job. It was easy, sure, but it got boring at times. Customers always made the day fun with their gossip, so you leaned into that. It could've been something simple, like how their boyfriend cheated on them, but it was still more entertaining than mopping the floor.

However, there was always one customer every night that you were looking forward to meeting.

Always clad in a mysterious cloak that made them look like a runaway, blazing bright eyes and red hair.

It was Mavuika.

She came a bit later than usual. You decided not to worry, Archon duties are a lot after all. Yet, she came anyway, dressed the same as before. The cloak was a bit messily put on, so her hair was still visible. You sighed as you left the place you were cleaning and went up in front of her.

"You didn't have to come y'know," you fixed her cloak to hide her hair, yet she only smiled at you.

"I insist," she only replied back. You rubbed your temples at the stubborn woman. Seriously, shouldn't she be busy with work or something?

She seemed to be eager to tell you something, considering how she was holding your hand. You raised an eyebrow at her as you gestured her to speak.

"Well, want to combat practice with me later, (fake name)?" Oh no. You didn't know how to fight! Sure, you did fight against the abyss, but you barely managed to survive!

But you only nodded. Declining now would only make her suspicious, even though the fact that you were being chased around without fighting back was suspicious enough. But, you'll find out a reason later, for now, all you had to do was agree.

"Sure, but only at my day off. Maybe the day after tomorrow?" You were trying to find a lie to tell her then, but for now, you hid your feelings with a smile. She nodded, looking content with your answer.

"The day after tomorrow it is."

Your hands were uncomfortably sweaty.

The day after tomorrow being right now, you had to tell Mavuika as quick as you could to not gain suspicion. Telling her you got isekai'd from another world was obviously not an option, but you had already prepared something in your head. It was similar to the isekai idea, but it's much more believable. The execution was the only problem.

You were at the outskirts of the Scions of Canopy, where Kinich lived. She came 5 minutes later and greeted you with much courtesy.

"Hope I didn't make you wait for long (fake name)," she told with a bit embarrassment. You shrugged her off.

"It's fine Mavuika, and you can just call me (name)," you replied back. You mustered up the courage to tell her your reason not to fight. But before that, you had to ask her just this one thing.

"How did you know that I was the creator? I don't think there was any part of me that stood out," you were interested to know, after all you thought that you hid yourself very well.

She all but smiled as she pointed out the grass behind you.

"The creator is connected to Teyvat, so everything would bloom in their wake. Since you were in the nation of Pyro, where I'll know everything that's going on, it was quite easy to find out." You looked behind to see beautiful flowers right behind you. You were shocked to see this many flowers in one trail. Wait, then why did the other Archons not realize that you were the creator? Eh that doesn't really matter, what matters was that you were here with Mavuika, safe and sound. But, you took this revelation to gift her something.

You took a flower from the trail. Mavuika was interested to see what you were doing, but you hid it from her. Using the flowers and leaves, you created a flower crown for her and put it a top her head. You smiled, she did too.

"Thank you (name)," she laughed softly. But now you had to explain the fighting part. You sighed as you contemplated.

"Err, Mavuika, I actually don't know how to fight.." You mumbled and cursed your self for it. She looked surprised.

"Why not?" She asked again. You felt embarrassed for having to say the reason. You took a deep breath and prepares to say why.

"I'm.. Not the creator. Like the original one. I'm a reincarnation of them, I have no idea how to fight not do I know anything about the past," you breathed out, cringing at what you just said. However all she did was look at you with understanding, after all, she knows the pain of reincarnation.

"It's fine! But do you know anything about the previous creator then?" She asked curiously, to which you shook your head. She hummed. She got an idea to improvise, it seems like.

"How about I teach you then?" Huh?! This wasn't going as planned! You didn't want to fight at all.

"T-that's not needed, I'll j-just waste your time," you tried convincing her, but she didn't budge. Eventually though, you reluctantly agreed. She smiled and thanked you for allowing her to help.

"Just try to imagine yourself using Pyro abilities, you'll get the hang of it later." You were really trying. The amount of stress that you had to not burn yourself to death was enough to actually kill you. Still, you trusted Mavuika and her abilities, so you tried anyway. You tried and tried and tried, but nothing really came. You were visibly disappointed, but Mavuika tried to encourage you.

"How about this, you imagine something you don't like, and try to use your emotions to drag your Pyro ability out," she suggested. You seemed to find this useful, so you tried it.

Closing your eyes, you thought of something terrible happening, and instead of seeing the imposter hunt that you very despised, you instead saw Mavuika.

You were being hunted down, sure, but what was most important was that she was getting punished by the Archons for not giving up the imposter. Her face was battered and bruised, and she was slowly slipping into unconsciousness. You watched in horror, and tears started to well up in your eyes. This couldn't be! Unfortunately, you were crying in real life too, and Mavuika realized immediately.

"Okay, uhh, you don't need to think about it now," she tried comforting you, bringing you in an embrace to calm you down. Once you came back to reality, your eyes were puffy, and your face was red.

"... Sorry, can we do this another time?" You sniffled, still holding her. She was warm, and you found your self drifting to sleep. She sighed as she picked you up.

"Of course, just don't overdo anything, kay?" She smiled warmly, brushing the tears from your eyes. She wrapped you in a cloak, getting ready to start camp.

Neuvillette contorted his face in disgust. The waters tasted disgustingly sweet. The creator's happiness with another person, likely an Archon. But the waters then tasted bitter, from the creator's sadness.

If only he could just drag you out of that place and keep you for himself, but no. He'll need the help of the other nations to do so, so he sucked it up and left the Palais Mermonia. He visited Furina, just checking in on her before leaving. He'd leave some of the work for Clorinde to do, he trusted her enough to do that anyway.

Reaching the imposter's throne room, there was a long sitting area where the rulers of the nations were there. Only the Cryo, Pyro and Anemo Archons weren't there, but the acting grandmaster came for Anemo, and the director of the Fatui Harbingers came for Cryo. The Geo Archon returned to his status as the God of Contracts, and the Electro and Dendro archon were sitting in their own seats. The imposter was on the creator's throne. They were dead, blood seeping out of their head. Their expression was one of shock, as he could vividly remember the day the Geo Archon killed the imposter.

A seat was vacant. He clenched his teeth at the mere thought of the Pyro Archon. He'd get you back from her, no matter what it took.

"We all know that the creator is in the nation of war, Natlan. However, since the neither of us know its weaknesses besides the Pyro Archon being a human, we need to create a plan to ambush the nation," Jean spoke up. Everyone in the room nodded along with her, too obsessed to notice their wrong doings. However, there was one who objected to this clause.

Nahida raised her hand to interrupt Jean, turning all eyes on her.

"You all chased down the creator like a rabid dog, and now you're trying to kidnap them to do a job that they don't want? What kind of leaders are you? The creator was in Natlan for a few months by now, and since they're not leaving, they are probably enjoying a better life there than your own selfish desires," she objected.

Neuvillette all but admired the young Archon. Despite being small and weaker than the others, she still had the bravery to stand against everyone. However, this was one thing that he didn't agree with. He just stayed quiet though, waiting for someone to object the small Archon.

Raiden did. The God of Eternity looked at Nahida with disdain, preparing to answer the deity.

"And how are you so sure that the creator is having a better life in Natlan Buer? For all we could know, they could actually be running around the vast nation. And, you are one of the younger Archons after all, what use does your words have?" She asked coldly. When she was about to respond back, she got interrupted.

"It is settled, we shall find the creator in Natlan, no questions," the God of Contracts added in. Nahida couldn't speak now. After all, what power does she have to a much more experienced God?

Neuvillete glared at the Archons.

"Whoever shall get the creator first will be the one to solely have the creator in their nation," Neuvillete furrowed his brows at the Archons. They did the same, but still agreed to the conditions, not really thinking of what you want.

Now, all the leaders were going back to their nation, telling their line of military to get prepared. They had to have you all for yourself, and they will do anything for it.

Done! Hope you enjoy!

[inheritedbelly]

Heavy Lifting

I start the day excited about the new job. It's not what I dreamed of, of course, but it's a start, a way to gain experience and, maybe, distract myself from the mess my life has become. I work in the warehouse of a factory. I'm an apprentice to Mr. Fred, a big, sweaty 60-year-old man. When I arrived, he was leaning against a pile of boxes, breathing slowly, the weight of his enormous belly rising and falling. He has a deep, thick voice that seems to resonate in his chest, but what stands out the most is his size. I'm not talking about his height, but his width. The guy is huge, almost as if life had shaped him around a giant belly. When he laughs, it feels like his whole body shakes. I can't imagine being in his skin, it must be uncomfortable and gross, but aside from that, he's a nice guy.

The work is exhausting. We carry and move boxes, organize shelves. Things are always missing, and we're the ones responsible for keeping everything in order. I just wish my life was like that—organized. At the end of the day, after lifting heavy things all day, Fred suggests we sit down and talk for a bit. Sitting across from him, I start to open up. I don’t know why, but the words come out before I can hold them back. I talk about my issues with my dad, how I don’t have a mom, and how the pressure to choose a college is suffocating me. I don’t know what I want to do with my life, I just wish I could skip this phase, wake up one day and have everything figured out. Fred listens attentively, his gaze heavy, almost as if he’s absorbing everything I’m saying. He nods slowly, and after a pause, he laughs, slapping his large belly. "Funny," he says. "I wish for the opposite. I wish I could be young again. Skinny. Do everything over, make different choices." His laughter fades, and he looks at the floor for a moment. Then, he looks at me with a strange gleam in his eyes. "You know what, kid? I think I know how to solve our problem." He snaps his fingers, and before I can respond, my vision goes black.

When I wake up, the first thing I feel is a strange coldness on my head. I reach up to the top of my head and… nothing. I'm bald. My heart races, and I look down, terrified. I see a huge belly, a round sphere dominating my field of vision, as if it’s an extension of me, but… it can’t be. The striped shirt covering this body isn’t mine. I try to get up from the armchair I’m sitting in, but everything feels different. Heavy. I grab the belly, this mass of flabby flesh that seems to be part of me now, and I look at my hands. They’re large, wrinkled, covered in saggy skin. It’s like I’m wearing gloves of flesh. I feel panic rising, and I let out a scream, but the sound that comes out of my throat isn’t mine. It’s hoarse, old. I bring my hand to my neck and feel a double chin. Horror overwhelms me, and I fall forward, my body too heavy to keep balance.

I lift my head, struggling, and I see my old body standing there, smiling at me with a malicious look. Everything clicks in an instant. I’ve switched bodies with Fred.

"What the hell did you do?" I shout, my voice now rougher than ever. Fred, in my body, lets out a short, mocking laugh. "Relax, kid. It was just a spell. A solution to our little problem."

I panic. "Undo it! I want my life back! My youth!" But he just shakes his head, still laughing. "You can’t. The spell can only be done once. Now it’s permanent."

My heart, or what was left of it in that old body, starts pounding out of control. I stumble backward, trying to process this new reality. I feel the belly wobbling with every step I take, like an anchor dragging me down. This can’t be true. This can’t be happening.

I run, or at least I try to, to the office bathroom. I lock the door behind me and look in the mirror. The reflection shows me an old, sweaty man with a desperate expression on his face. The face isn’t mine. The skin is full of wrinkles, the cheeks sagging. I run my hand over my face, unable to believe what I see. I can’t stop holding my belly. It’s always there, like a constant reminder that I’m now someone else. Fred knocks on the door, and I hear his voice—my voice from before. “Hey, it’s not going to be that bad, let’s be honest. Now you have what you wanted, and I have what I wanted.” I scream in response, but the truth is that I’m trapped. There’s no going back. Fred then enters and gives a light squeeze to my enormous stomach. I yell at him to leave, and then he steps back. He closes the bathroom door, and I, still in shock and confused about what happened, am left unsure of what to do. I lift my shirt and see: a big belly, covered in hair. I also notice that my chest, which was normal before, is now larger and sagging. With every step I take, I feel my body moving in a way I’ve never felt before. It’s uncomfortable and strange. I turn around and notice that my backside has also changed; it’s now much bigger. I look in the mirror, trying to understand what has happened. The person in the reflection doesn’t seem like me, but the way the body moves makes it clear that, unfortunately, it is mine now.

I leave the bathroom and find Fred, who is now in my body. He smiles and makes an ironic comment, asking if I’m ready. I quickly pull down my shirt and, unsure of what to do, ask, “So now what are we going to do?”

When I leave the bathroom, Fred tells me I can go to his place, which is now my home. I have no choice. Walking through the streets is hell. Every step is a huge effort. I feel sweat dripping down my body, especially between the folds of my belly and on my back. And it’s just a short walk. Upon arriving at the apartment, Fred shows me everything—where the things are, the bathroom, the pantry. During this little tour, I’m extremely out of breath from the walk. My belly bumps into everything around the house. He tells me about his routine. Now, it’s my routine. Because of the heat, I take off my clothes, and my now free belly is enormous. As I squeeze through the house, my stomach occasionally bumps into Fred, who is in my way. “Sorry,” I say, even though I’m not the one to blame for this situation; he is! He’s the one who stuck me in this huge body, but honestly, I’m too out of breath for another argument. As soon as he leaves me alone in my new room, he says, “See you tomorrow, boss,” winking before closing the door. I get ready to take a shower, which is at least strange since I’ve never had to bathe a fat old man before, let alone be the old man myself. I feel the loose skin and the weight of the fat on me. Lying down on the bed is even worse; as soon as I collapse onto the bed, my huge new belly settles against my body in an uncomfortable way, and I have to turn over, quickly causing it to fall to my side. I let out a heavy sigh. “What was I wishing for?”

Lying on the bed, with not many options for comfort, I close my eyes, trying to believe that everything was just a nightmare and that tomorrow everything will be back to normal. But it’s hard to believe that it was just a dream, considering how real everything felt. Even lying there, I had a lot of physical contact with every part of my body, since I was now bulkier. I couldn’t just run my hand over my body without my hairy arm brushing against my hairy stomach. So, I would turn to the side, still thinking my slim body would react. But instead, I felt the weight of my new body. My brain was still that of a slim man.

I would run my hand over my forehead and remember the baldness. I would touch my face and feel the old beard. I would glide my hands over my body and notice my new bulk. It was this repetitive cycle until I finally managed to fall asleep. The next morning, when I wake up, I feel an erection, but not like it always used to be, my dick was fighting against my stomach. in a fright I quickly wake up and my eyes meet see my big stomach and the white hairs on my chest. I quickly get a shock, and suddenly everything hits me: nothing was a dream, everything was real, and this is my new lif

[solxamber]

This is Love - Riddle Rosehearts x reader

3 times he notices your acts of love and realizes it doesn't have to be grand and overdramatic like the movies, it could just be like this– sweet and considerate.

crossposted from my ao3!

You’re not speaking to him. He knows why, of course—Riddle's temper had gotten the better of him again. Another argument, another set of rules he enforced too strictly, and this time you’d had enough. He had heard the bite in your words, the frustration lacing every syllable when you told him to “loosen up.”

And yet, despite the tension still simmering in the room, Riddle can’t relax. His back is stiff as he stares at the ceiling, hands clenched under the covers. He doesn't want to admit it, but the silence bothers him. It gnaws at him, the guilt festering. He can feel your presence beside him, but the distance between you feels like a canyon.

How could he have let things escalate like this?

He hears you sigh—sharp, frustrated—and then there's a shift in the blankets. For a second, he’s certain you’ll turn away from him, shutting him out entirely. It’s what he deserves, after all. But instead, something surprising happens.

Your arm. Wrapping around his waist. Gently, deliberately, like it always does before he falls asleep.

Riddle stiffens at first, completely taken aback. His mind races, wondering if this is a trick or just muscle memory. He doesn’t dare breathe. His heart is in his throat. You pull him closer and press a kiss to his hair.

Why are you…? After everything, you still…?

He feels the warmth of your touch seep into his skin, and slowly, so slowly, his rigid posture begins to relax. His breath comes out shakily, and though his pride won’t let him say it out loud, he’s grateful. It’s your way of telling him you’re still angry, but you love him. You always do.

And with that, sleep finally finds him, nestled in the comfort of your embrace.

The cold is biting today, and Riddle feels it in his bones. He’s leaving class with you, rubbing his arms discreetly as he walks. His uniform is meant to be formal and pristine, not warm, and his stubbornness refuses to let him complain. Still, he knows you’ve noticed.

Of course you’ve noticed.

“Riddle,” your voice breaks the quiet as you hurry to catch up with him. He doesn’t even look at you, still feeling the lingering embarrassment from earlier in class.

“Are you cold?”

“I’m fine,” he insists, his words clipped and precise. But the truth is, he’s shivering. His hands are numb. He’s starting to lose feeling in his fingers, and you can see it all over his face, no matter how hard he tries to hide it.

In a swift motion, before he can protest, you slip off your jacket and drape it over his shoulders. Riddle freezes—literally and figuratively.

“W-what are you—”

“Take my jacket,” you say casually, like it’s the most normal thing in the world. “I can’t have the Housewarden of Heartslabyul freezing to death.”

The words hit him harder than he expects. His cheeks flame bright red, matching the tips of his ears, and he’s torn between protesting and basking in the warmth your jacket provides. It smells like you, like comfort, and he’s mortified by how much he likes it.

“...Thank you,” he mutters, barely audible, but the soft smile on your face tells him you heard him loud and clear. He tugs the jacket tighter around himself, both embarrassed and… a little touched. Maybe more than a little.

It’s late. Too late. Riddle’s been up for hours, drowning in paperwork and assignments, his brain on the verge of collapse. He’s so exhausted that even the numbers on the page are starting to blur together. Just a few more pages. He can finish this. He can—

He doesn’t remember falling asleep. One moment, he’s sitting at his desk, half-writing, half-dreaming, and the next, he wakes up with his face smushed against his textbook. His eyes flutter open groggily, his neck aching from the awkward angle.

Great. This will set him back for the entire day.

He blinks, trying to shake off the fog of sleep, and looks down at the stack of papers on his desk. The assignments are… finished? Every single one of them.

Riddle frowns. There’s no way he did all this. Is there?

“When did I finish this?” he mutters to himself, flipping through the pages. The handwriting is… definitely not his.

“You didn’t,” you say from the bed, voice casual as you scroll through your phone.

Riddle stares at you, wide-eyed and confused. “What?”

“You were practically dead on your feet, Riddle. I finished it for you.”

He’s too shocked to respond at first. His heart races, a mix of disbelief and something else—something soft, unfamiliar. He doesn’t know what to say. Doesn’t know how to process the way his chest feels tight, but in a good way.

“You… shouldn’t have done that,” he says weakly, though the words don’t carry any real conviction. He’s already skimming through the assignments, seeing how you’d matched his usual style of work almost perfectly.

You just shrug, grinning lazily. “Yeah, well. I wanted to.”

And there it is again—that warmth. The same feeling he got when you held him during the argument, or when you handed him your jacket. It’s starting to become more familiar, more difficult to ignore. His heart does a funny little flip in his chest as he stares at the completed work, then back at you.

“Thank you,” he whispers, his voice so quiet he almost hopes you didn’t hear it.

But, of course, you did. You always do.

Riddle's never been great at expressing feelings that aren't tied to logic or rules. Love is messy and complicated, the kind of thing that doesn't fit neatly into the boxes he's carefully organized his life around. But there are moments—like when you wrap your arms around him after a fight, or when you lend him your jacket, or when you finish his assignments without a second thought—that make him wonder if maybe love isn’t supposed to fit into a box at all.

Maybe it’s supposed to be messy.

As he lies next to you in bed that night, your breathing steady and peaceful beside him, he finds himself unable to sleep. He keeps thinking about everything you do for him, the way you make his rigid, rule-bound world feel just a little more flexible.

“I love you,” he whispers into the quiet of the room, his voice barely audible.

You stir beside him, half-asleep, your arm lazily draping over his waist. “Love you too,” you murmur back, voice soft and groggy.

Riddle feels a weight lift off his chest, something warm and sweet settling in its place. He closes his eyes, smiling into the darkness, and for once, he falls asleep with no worries at all. Maybe this is love.

Masterlist

[1d1195]

Most - Extra I

Read Most here | ~2k words

From me: It's probably too early for an extra for them, but I seriously couldn't resist. Takes place sometime within the first couple of months of the last part.

Warnings: this is going to be disgustingly sweet. Nothing to report except you'll have a toothache after reading.

Summary: Harry gets to rush home from work now to the love of his life. Everything about her makes his heart ache.

Harry was exhausted. Now that she was home, he didn’t have a reason to avoid going home to be by himself. There was no need to feel suffocated by loneliness because he wasn’t alone anymore. So, he changed his work schedule quite a bit. He wasn’t single anymore (even if he never felt that way anyway). But he didn’t do overtime much anymore. He didn’t pick up shifts that others didn’t want or were unable to work due to their own families. The station was never left stranded regardless, but he wasn’t the go-to ask anymore. He felt a little bad and still occasionally took a short overtime shift, but not nearly as many as the insane hours he was prior to her coming home. He didn’t take his time leaving either the way he used to. There was no need anymore. Fortunately, all his coworkers were completely understanding.

48 hours on and 96 hours off. A normal shift for a firefighter. It was so much better than the 18-hour days he was doing before she returned. He could see her for days at a time. He pampered her, snuggled her, and kissed every inch of her skin like she might disappear again even though he really didn’t believe that anymore the way he did when she first came home.

But the end of this two-day shift left him exhausted. It was exceptionally busy. Thankfully, no one was hurt. Only one small house fire contained to the kitchen and the toaster that caught the curtain in the window at fault. There was lots of paperwork that needed filing and reporting for a hundred different things. There was more training. Another visit to the elementary school and a safety outreach program in partnership with other community groups.

Harry grabbed his bag from the back seat, locked his door, and headed inside. Each step felt heavier than the next. He couldn’t wait to get into bed beside her and snuggle her. With the way her work schedule was, she had arrived home after him the last few times. But today, her car was parked next to his. It made his heart flutter. Happy that he had everything he ever wanted. The love of his life, a cute house, and everything. But Harry could have done without the house, the car, the career he loved.

She was there.

That was everything.

It was late. Almost eleven. The outside air was chilly. The moon glowed so bright it almost felt like a stage light on his arrival home. There was the smell of a campfire somewhere a few streets over. All concluding to a perfect fall night. He almost wanted to wake her just so she could come outside and smell it because it reminded him of a bonfire they went to when they first started dating. They made out under a tree and giggled about all their future while their friends drank around the fire.

Quietly, he unlocked the door. He was hoping she wouldn’t wake from his arrival. Her classes alongside work had been kicking her butt. Maybe worse than a 48-hour shift not that she would ever let him think that. No, she doted on him and made sure he was doing okay regardless of how tired she was. It made his heart ache with how much she adored him, but Harry was lucky to have five days off between his shifts. She was lucky if she had one.

Kicking his shoes off right inside the door he was overwhelmed with how good it smelled. A combo of whatever she cooked for dinner and the now permanent scent of her hair care wafting through the house from bathroom all the way to the living room. If this had been even a year ago, Harry never would have thought it was possible to have it all. But the smell of her shampoo was enough to make his eyes watery. Especially after a long couple of days.

He dropped his bag by his shoes, locked the front door, and turned to make his way to the kitchen to put his Tupperware in the dishwasher. He wished he looked sooner because the sight made his heart skim a beat. A strangled, quiet groan came from his throat, as he tried to stop it so he would wake her. Wouldn’t start sobbing with how much he adored her.

Harry rushed to the living room sofa, dropped to his knees beside it. One hand fell to her hip and danced up the curve of her waist, resting on her ribcage as her breath moved her body up and down at gentle intervals. “Kitten,” he murmured.

She didn’t stir. Harry placed a hand over her ear along the side of her head. Softly he rubbed his fingertips into her head. “Baby,” he tried again. Seeing her so peacefully on his couch made him possessive and happy. He wanted nothing more than to watch her like she was his favorite show. All she had to do was sleep; it was enough entertainment for him. They dreamed of things like this and now it was here, and he felt so much love it made him want to cry.

She grunted softly. “Hi baby,” she hummed reaching out and grabbed at his T-shirt. She pulled at the chest, right below the collar of it and tugged him toward her more. Then, she slid her hand over his face. “You okay?”

“M’fine. Why aren’t y’in bed, kitten?"

"S'cold,” she mumbled, yawned.

“So, turn the heat up, baby,” a smile was in his voice as he shook his head at her.

She shook her head back in response. Slowly, she sat up. Her arms came and wrapped around his shoulders and tucked her face into his neck. “Not that kinda cold,” she mumbled.

Fuck, he loved her so much. She was so cute it made him want to scream. She was purposefully on the sofa. Waiting for him.

He swallowed the emotion that was blocking his throat, and he exhaled slowly to calm himself before he had to explain to her why he was crying like a baby because of her and how much he loved her.

He was royally fucked when she walked down the aisle. He would blubber. There wouldn’t be enough tissues in the world to dry his eyes.

“Baby, y'can't sleep on the couch every time m'at work."

"Watch me."

God. His arms tightened around her waist, and he kissed the side of her head as he rocked her gently. He couldn't be close enough to her. "S'bad for your neck t’be on the couch, kitten.”

"It's bad for my heart to be without you in bed."

Harry was going to sob because of her. He squeezed her again. He wasn’t arguing. He just wanted her to be comfy and cozy. Gently, he gripped just behind her knees and pulled her legs around his hips and swiftly stood all in the same movement. He kissed her temple. “Are you hungry?” She asked sleepily. “I’ll make you a plate,” but she nuzzled into his neck, and he almost wanted to say yes, just so he could see how she would manage while half asleep. He thought it was adorable. She was adorable.

“No, kitten. M’fine.”

She frowned. “Did you eat?”

“I ate baby. Don’t worry,” he promised.

“You don’t have to carry me. I’m heavy and you worked so long—”

“Shh,” he hushed. He supported one arm beneath her bum, cradling her to him. He carried her to the bedroom and placed her softly on the mattress before he moved away. She pouted rubbing at her eye with the palm of her hand.

“Where are you going?”

He really didn’t think his heart could take how cute she was. It felt like it was bursting, threatening to break out of his ribcage and find its way into hers so it could be next to her heart. “M’jus’ changing, baby, showered before I left,” he explained. “Gonna be all snuggled close.”

She sighed with relief. Crawled beneath the covers and waited patiently while Harry stripped down to his boxers and went to the bathroom to quickly swish his toothbrush around his mouth.

Harry wasted no time getting into bed. He lifted the sheet, blanket, and comforter that she had decorated the bed in a pattern Harry never would have had if she didn’t live with him. It was plenty warm. Rendering her defense all the sweeter.

He opened his arms for her to nuzzle against him where she also wasted no time falling into his embrace.

Maybe one day she would sleep in bed without him suffocating her with his cuddling.

But it wasn’t going to be any time soon.

“I love you,” she murmured to him.

“I love you,” he kissed down the length of her neck.

“Missed you so much.”

Sometimes he didn’t know if he meant her shift or the three years that he didn’t see her.

“I missed you, baby,” honestly it didn’t matter what she meant because the moments she wasn’t within his sight he missed her like crazy. Too much time apart made him a little insane. A little hungry for time that he couldn’t get back. But he would try anyway and enjoy every second of it. “Don’t sleep on the sofa waiting for me,” he hummed. He worried about her always. “It’ll hurt your neck.”

“Don’t you care about how my heart will hurt, Harry?” Her voice was soft, joking.

“More than anything, kitten,” he promised, seriously. “M’always going t’come home t’you though. Did y’sleep on the sofa last night?” He wondered, realizing that there was always going to be a day he didn’t know where she slept. She nodded against him. No speaking. Perhaps she was too tired. Too tired to pretend as well. There was a tight pressure around his heart and a half-smile, half-frown pulled on his lips. “Baby,” he tutted. “I don’t want you t’do that.”

“S’too late. Spent too many nights without you,” she mumbled.

So, Harry understood. He would have to think of something to help her. But for now, he understood. “M’in love with you,” he reminded her.

“Me too, baby,” she squeezed him making him feel whole.

He cupped the back of her head, kissed the center of her forehead letting his lips press there for so long he hoped it would suction his mouth to her skin just so he never had to let her go ever again. “Can we have French toast in the morning?” She whispered.

He nodded easily, his eyelids felt heavier as they closed, and his chin bumped the top of her head. “Whatever y’want, kitten.”

“Whatever I want?” She murmured.

He nodded again. “Always.”

“Harry?” She whispered. It seemed she got a bit of a second wind from the time he got her off the sofa and brought her to bed. Unfortunately, Harry wasn’t feeling any bit of it. As much as he wanted to stay awake and talk to her for hours on end, he hadn’t slept much the last two days and he felt sleepiness winning over the desire to speak.

“Hmm?” He hummed, almost falling fast asleep before he could hear her again.

“I hate sleeping without you. I never want to do it ever again unless you’re working or you’re on a trip with your family or because Niall wants to sleep with you,” she took a deep breath while Harry smiled and shook his head at her. “So, when we get married, I don’t want to do a single night apart, not even the day before.”

Harry reached for her left hand that rested on his shoulder and he softly rubbed her ring finger. He nodded. Kissed the crown of her head and sighed. “Okay, angel,” he murmured. “No night’s apart that aren’t necessary.”

“I’ll stop talking. You can go to sleep.”

“Don’t get out of bed in the morning,” he murmured and squeezed her tighter. “I hate when y’do that,” he grumbled.

She giggled. “I’ll wake you.”

“Good,” he sighed. “I love you. More than anything.”

“I love you,” she answered. “More than anything.”

--

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most: @harryspirate

I'm sorry if I missed anyone in the taglist. Please let me know if you'd like to join, if it didn't work, if you no longer want to be included, etc. :)

If you like this, check out my masterlist here

[aesthetictarlos]

I don't think Buck has realised how much Tommy hides behind that confidence and coolness and smoothness he shows. Of course he knows there's a story there, knows about Gerrard and that Tommy doesn't talk to his parents but he doesn't know about his insecurities, about his past, yet.

Doesn't know that Tommy's fucking terrified because he might not have abandonment issues like Buck does, but a lot of people left him behind. He doesn't know that Tommy's still learning how to let someone in, how to let someone take care of him, how to be vulnerable. Doesn't know that Tommy still has nightmares from his time in the army, doesn't know that he's the first person to make Tommy feel like he matters, like he's worthy of love. Doesn't know that Tommy still struggles to show his emotions because no matter how many therapy sessions he attended, sometimes he still feels the need to bottle everything up and shove it down. Doesn't know that Tommy's insecure, too, that sometimes he looks at himself in the mirror and sees the asshole he was a few years back.

He's not being naive, it's just that Tommy's so cool and funny and sarcastic and he always knows what to say, what to do and they're still in the honeymoon phase and things are great and their bubble is so nice but then one day something bad happens and he would like to help, to be there for his boyfriend but he realizes that Tommy's holding back, because that's what he's used to doing. He takes care of himself, he hides and licks his wounds, because he's never had someone like Buck before.

Buck doesn't know what to do when his boyfriend clams and shuts down and barely talks to him. He doesn't know what to do when Tommy's distant but still looks at him fondly, doesn't know what to do when he wakes up in the middle of the night to Tommy's quiet sobs. He just reaches a hand out and brushes his palm up and down Tommy's back, soothing him as best as he can, and when the next morning Tommy crumbles in the middle of his kitchen while Buck is making them breakfast, Buck is right there, holding him up and holding him close.

He tells Tommy that he can be vulnerable with him, that he won't leave, that he wants everything, the good and the bad, and patiently listens to Tommy telling him that he doesn't know how to be vulnerable, because he never had someone picking up his pieces before. He listens as Tommy finally tells him about his father and his heavy hands on his tiny body, tells him about the screams he heard at night when their parents fought, tells him about the group homes he lived in because no one would want to foster or adopt a ten year old, tells him about the army and that one time he watched his co-pilot bleed out on the cold sand of the desert. Buck listens as Tommy tells him about Gerrard, and his early days at the 118 and the guilt that still eats him alive sometimes. Buck listens as Tommy tells him about his disastrous dates, about the first guy he hooked up with, a guy that wasn't as patient and soothing and delicate as Tommy has been with him when they had sex for the first time. Buck listens as Tommy bares his soul to him, crying his eyes out and handing him parts of him he kept hidden for years.

Buck listens to him patiently, and holds him, murmuring promises into his ears. I love you, all of you, even those parts you hate. I'm not going anywhere, I'll take care of you, I'll show you how much I love you every day. You are everything I've always wanted. I'm here, I got you, I have your back. I love you. I love you.

For the first time, in that kitchen, with Tommy still crying into his arms, Buck realizes that yeah, Tommy handed him the missing piece of his heart but he did the same for Tommy. He realizes that they healed each other, and there's a reason why it never worked with anyone else before.

[fanaticsnail]

Hi Snail, I need you to know I haven't been able to stop thinking about Invitation since I first read it 😭 it's just so absolutely perfect. Vampire Law has absolutely infested my brain, he's haunting me at this point! Every time I try to sit down and write he's the only thing I can think about!! I might have to write something for him just to free myself at this point (but do I want to be freed? I could just think about Vampire Law for the rest of my waking days!)

Oh, but you've invited him in now. Whatever shall we do...

Vampire Law - Punishment

Word Count: 300+

Themes: vampire!Law x gn!reader, mdni, 18+, smut, NSFW, penetrative sex, mean dom law, dacryphilia, blood consumption, a little bit yandere. Part 1 Here.

Notes: I couldn't get him out of my head either. If you ever want to write more for vampire Law, I gotta read it. For now, here's this little punishment. Thank you for your ask!!

The vampire, Trafalgar D Water Law, is absolutely utilizing that verbal confirmation to the epitome of his advantage. He's never going to be satisfied by simply releasing once into your body. Not after all that teasing and taunting.

Absolutely not.

As his cock begins to flood your body with icy ropes of otherworldly release, he'll take a moment to huff out a drunken laugh while he watches you cry at the overstimulation. His treatment was punishing, and his sex-drunk eyes peered down like a predator about to consume his meek prey.

His lengthy, dark eyelashes shrouded his blown irises, his pupils narrowing as they zone in on a fresh bite on your neck. He could sense your life pouring from your body, draining you dry while unloading you full.

“You gonna tap out, brat?” He asked, gently lulling his tongue out to swipe up over your chin, “Attempt to rescind your invitation?”

Eyes foggy and mind clouded, you babbled out a cock-drunk, “Can I do that?”

Law chuckled darkly, moving his lips up to eclipse yours in a cool kiss from his reanimated lips. Tugging at your bottom lip, he bit down on it and dragged it up before releasing it with a ‘pop.’

“No.” His taunt caused you to let out a soft whine, feeling his cock once again spring to life deep within your entrance. Stretching your walls over his girth, he began the slow roll and drag of his hips.

Aligning his thighs with yours, he threw your legs over his shoulders and let out a shuddered groan. Feeling how deep he was in your abdomen, seeing the soft bulge from his cockhead in your stomach had his need once again spring forth and cause him to abuse your tight flesh.

Perhaps you should've thought twice about edging a creature of the night, a soul damned to wander the abyss without a tether to a host.

Law’s right hand reached forward to stimulate you while the other gripped your thigh. His punishment never ceased, only stopping when he truly felt you had experienced enough of his wrath for a single evening.

He hopes you enjoy sailing, because now there was no way he would ever let you go.

[joelsgoldrush]

wip wednesday: "epiphany" (worst!logan x fem!reader)

third time lucky because i posted this twice with different passages and none of them seemed to satisfy the overachieving monster i am 👹 but let's forget that detail.

this fic is making me crazy... in a good way. i'm enjoying the whole process even though imposter syndrome's hitting harder than ever </3

thank you @moonlight-prose for tagging me 🫂💗

also tysm to @lubdubology because she’s an amazing beta (sorry for tagging you again and again 😭 don’t mind me)

He thought that not seeing you for a week would snuff out his feelings. That by next Wednesday, every thought tied to your name, every urge to uncover the last of your secrets, would be extinguished. That's what time usually did: it diminished dangerous desires that couldn't afford to be voiced, and buried those longings that had no place in the light of day. Logan now figures he’s been underestimating the spell you cast on him with just a few glances and the intensity of your eyes. He’s seen you animated, angry—both defiant and vulnerable. Each of your gestures feels like a memory he can’t quite place. The way you laugh, the right corner of your mouth lifting just slightly higher than the left—he swears it isn’t the first time he's seen a smile brighter than the sun. Still, he convinces himself it’s all in his head. He must be the one losing his mind, the years finally catching up to him. It’s the only reasonable explanation for the thoughts that consume his every waking moment. He’s wrong—you’re right. He’s seeing things where there are none—you’re simply too kind. Too kind. Too young. Too damn clever for your own good, with your books and that sharp mind of yours. He wonders how you see yourself. Do you like the reflection in the mirror? Are you content with the way your life has turned out? Do you, too, lie awake at night, the bed stretching endlessly, aching for a touch that never comes? The walls in this place are paper-thin. When darkness falls, and the moon rises, the big, scary Wolverine can’t close his eyes.  Instead, he listens.  You play the same movie on repeat—a romantic comedy that lasts exactly one hundred and twenty minutes. For two hours straight, he’s privy to your laughter, your commentary at the characters on the screen. He hears you cry when the lead couple drifts apart after a terrible argument, but they always find their way back to each other, and you watch every second until the credits roll. None of the other films you pick ever ends in heartbreak, he realizes. They all have happy endings—the kind you wish for yourself.

no pressure tags: @zloshy @princessanglophile @hauntedhowlett @wlwloverwrites + whoever wants to post sth they´ve written

[astarionancuntnin]

The Ways of Worship

summary: this faith was all you've ever known. so when you wake up a morning with the dreadful feeling that you've lost it, you do the one thing that makes sense - confess to your local priest. when he offers his guidance with the promise of making you whole again, you accept without a second thought. your first lesson begins tonight.

rating: E

word count: 4.2k

pairing: priest astarion x religious!reader

cw: 18+. priest+modern AU, smut, power imbalance, so many pet names (child, dear, darling, sweet, precious (little) lamb, one, angel, love), corruption so dubcon, light degradation, punishments (spanking), loss of innocence, groping, fingering, dom(astarion)/sub(reader), losta biblical imagery. full list on ao3.

a/n: none of these thoughts are in the bible

a/n²: inspo songs were BITE MARKS and worship by ari abdul

a/n³: all of the references about the church itself and the reader's experience are taken from my memory directly as i did grow up catholic (i wanted the experience to feel at least somewhat authentic for the introduction) (also, not catholic anymore). does that make it kinda self-indulgent? maybe, but all im saying is that i didnt have a religion kink before writing this piece.

ENJOY YOU DEPRAVED SLUTS

read on ao3

or keep reading down below~

Your relationship with God has been intricate.

You had always been a diligent follower; you recited your prayers, went to church every Sunday, carried a cross around your neck and had at least three of them in your house, at the top of each room’s entrance, for protection. You were baptised and followed all His learnings as you made it into adulthood, all without so much of a complaint. You were the prime example of a textbook follower.

Albeit, growing up in a catholic household — it was the only truth you knew — it was always one you seemed to have been following blindly. You wanted to believe, wanted to love Him — and most days you thought you did — but today, you woke up with the dreadful realisation that your faith had left you. 

You tried to pray and felt like an imposter, everything was out of place; the  pictures of you at your First Communion seemed to taunt you, the cross hanging from your neck felt heavier, uncomfortable. 

Any remaining feeling regarding your religion felt… off.

You thought of going to mass this Sunday to rectify the situation, but you couldn’t shake the feeling that everyone would just know you didn’t belong, that they would sense you as a traitor amongst real followers. 

Even if you managed to drag yourself to church then, it was still days away, it wouldn’t make sense to go after waiting for so long; it would lose its purpose.

You would lose your purpose.

Then again, you couldn’t just sit here with this weight, this guilt that you had forsaken your Lord. You had to fix this, to ask for forgiveness for straying away from the rightful path; the only one you knew.

You eventually find the strenght to push yourself to go church in the following hours.

The impressive stone building that you used to look at with admiration and which once brought you an inner sense of peace, now seemed to look down on you. The chime of the bells resonated through you, as if ringing for your final hour, standing minutes away from your judgement.

As if this house of God knew of your sins — of your doubts — and it wouldn’t make it easy on you to absolve yourself of your mistakes.

Oddly enough, the interior was less daunting than its facade; it felt much, much smaller from the inside, as if the exterior was purposely made to make it seem bigger. It was also surprisingly dark considering the multiple stained glass adorning its walls, the colours from them blending between the aisles. Aside from you, there was only one other person you spotted sitting in the first rows, visibly praying. 

Perks of visiting in the middle of the week; people were too busy with their lives to pay a visit to the Lord. If you were to fumble this, there would most likely be no witnesses to your shame. This last part, at least, reassured you a little bit. 

You thought the hardest step you had to take was the first one you took into the church, but the second your eyes found the confessional booth, standing next to the last row of benches, your feet were stuck to the ground again; undecided between running away in shame or pushing through that first step in the right direction.

You grunted as the battle in your mind raged on.

What am I even doing, you thought to yourself. There’s probably no one in this booth and I’ll wait hours like a fool only to realise that the priest isn’t in today.

And you would be partially right: no one was inside.

But before you could turn on your heels and cower away, a new presence made itself known in the room.

From the corner of your eye, you spied a man — who you recognized as your priest, Father Astarion.

As he walked along the far end aisle, you noticed his usual attire; he wore his all-black tight robe with the white spot at his collar, along with his crucifix hanging from his neck. The rest of him, though, reflected a perfect contrast from his clothing: His curly hair, which was worn back and styled elegantly, arbored a platinum white colour. Almost as white as his skin — so pale he might’ve passed for a corpse — which really brought out his dark eyes. 

So dark, you often found yourself getting lost in them during mass. It wasn't rare that you would miss a part of his preaching and would only be brought back to Earth hearing the commotion around you as people grabbed their things to leave. 

He just had a way of moving that entranced you to follow him without a second thought. As if his connection to the Lord was even greater than he let on.

He stood tall as he walked leisurely towards the confessional you were aiming for, and you couldn’t help but admire his form. Given, you couldn’t see much as his well-fitted religious attire covered most of him, but you did notice the defined veins trailing right down to his hand resting in front of his figure, hands that bore long and strong fingers. Ones, you imagined, would feel rough against your skin if they were to—

You blink rapidly, shaking your head as you catch yourself before that thought drifts even further, your face flushed red by what you almost envisioned. What still floats around in your mind.

How could you even consider the caress of someone on you in a place so private? This was a man of God, for crying out loud. 

As if the reason for your presence here wasn’t enough, here you were, shamelessly fantasising about the very man who would decide if you were worth repenting. Two sins in one day, really? What was wrong with you? 

As Father Astarion steps into his side of the booth, vanishing from your vision, your consciousness comes back to you and breaks your frozen spell. You finally walk towards what would be your side of the confessional, stopping right before the threshold.

Why are you still doubting yourself? You’re already here, and the priest already saw you — he probably walked here for you, knowing your intentions. Just go inside, you’ll feel much better afterwards. 

You close your eyes and take a deep breath, stepping inside and sitting down before closing the door behind you, now waiting for the shade on the other side to greet you. 

Seconds might’ve been minutes at this point, your heart was stuck in your throat, anxious at what was to come. He was in there, was he not? You saw him enter, did he not hear you come in? Were you supposed to knock?

When the partition slides back, leaving only a partial faint light passing through the other side, a warm, deep voice greets you.

“Welcome, my child.”

Oh, and his voice. It was already delightful when it echoed between the walls of the church, but up close it’s as if it rippled through you. Almost enough to make you forget to answer back.

“F— Forgive me Father, for I have sinned.”

“Tell me, how long has it been since your last confession?”

“A few years. This is my first time since my First Communion, Father,” you answer, your voice softer than usual.

“It is never too late to repent, child. It takes a lot of courage to step into the house of God and ask forgiveness; I commend you for taking the first step in the right direction. Now, what would you like to confess?”

You feel as if you could listen to him talk for hours, his voice soothed you in ways you never experienced before; it quieted down — at least temporarily— the shame that inhabited you.

“I… found myself questioning my faith, Father.”

“And yet here you are, confessing to your priest, at your church.” You think you can hear the smile he bears as he answers you. “It seems to me your faith still lies well alive within you.” 

“Yes, the irony isn’t lost on me Father, but…” you sigh, “Doesn’t this make me a sinner? Doubting of His existence, of His word… Am I even worth redeeming?”

“My dear, the fact that you came to me to confess this already shows me you want to believe, our Lord is lenient with His lost souls. Recite your Our Father throughout the week, three times before going to bed, and come to this Sunday's mass.”

“Thank you, Father, I will.”

He doesn’t answer back right away, and it gives you some time to reflect on his answer. 

It’s true, if you were a lost cause, you wouldn’t be here begging for the Lord’s forgiveness. You would be taking down the crucifixes in your home, taking down your pictures from your Confirmation, and any other religious signs displaced around your home as you moved away from this life. 

Then again, shouldn’t this be what you should be doing? If you doubted your faith in the first place, was this really meant to be your life?

When Father Astarion speaks again, you’re taken back from where your thoughts had drifted.

“Was there anything else weighing on your mind, my child?”

It’s almost as if he had read your mind.

“Yes, actually, I… I must admit this turn of events made me realise I’m not sure I’ve ever, truly believed in the first place… of my own volition.”

“I see.” He pauses briefly, “What did you expect from this confession, my dear?”

You sigh, “I’m not sure… My faith is all I’ve ever known. I don’t know what to do, and now I’m not sure if I’m meant for this life. As if everything I’ve known up to now had been nothing but a lie, and now that the opportunity to move on has made itself possible, I don't even know if I could go for it — if I should.”

You think you see his shadow move from the other side of the confessional, getting closer to the grid. “How does this make you feel?”

“Lost, confused. When I woke up this morning I felt…” you pause, looking for the exact feeling plaguing your mind. “Hollow, as if a part of me had vanished, and I don’t know how to make it right.”

Not a sound from the other side of the partition, and for a moment, you think the man sitting on the other side had been nothing but a fragment of your imagination, taunting you yet again for your drift of faith.

Just as you're about to ask for him, he speaks again.

“Would you like to believe, my child? Would you like me to show you what it means to worship — to devote yourself to a higher entity? To feel whole again?”

His voice had gone an octave lower — as if someone else had replaced the priest who had previously entered the booth — and you felt yourself drawn to it, tempted by the promise of guidance just a few words away.

“Yes, Father.”

“Good. Come back here at midnight, I shall teach you the ways of worship.”

Your heart was already pounding in your chest in anticipation.

—

The day couldn’t have felt any longer than it did. Every moment spent between rushing thoughts of what the night would bring, constantly eyeing the clock as the minutes passed by, doubting if you had even heard the priest right, but the second the clock struck midnight, here you were, back at your church.

It stood as a beacon among the dark street, the only building with a light at its porch, pulling you in like a moth to a flame.

You didn’t expect the doors to open at first; the church was usually closed at this hour, but as you pulled back on them, the doors opened up to you with a creak. When you stepped back in, your senses were struck with the strong aroma of old wood, burning candles, and incense. 

You took a few steps forward, examining your surroundings, and noticing how much darker it had become without the colours spraying from the stained glass. Aside from the few candles lighting the side aisles, only one spotlight remained, right over the altar.

You heard a click behind you and when you turned, nothing — or no one — was to be seen. Just in the event that you might’ve imagined the sound, you went back to the door to try and push it, only for it to remain in place.

“I’ve been waiting for you.”

You quickly turn around, startled by Father Astarion's voice greeting you. You can’t see him, and with the echo of the church, his voice felt as if it came from everywhere all at once, almost as if the voice came directly from Heaven.

“Do not be coy, my sweet, little one. Approach the altar.”

How long he had been there, you couldn’t tell, and you didn’t see fit asking — this was his home as much as it was the Lord’s, after all — but he had appeared out of thin air without as much of a sound.

You walk along the main aisle, each step taken with a mix of incertitude and curiosity as you slowly approach him in silence, his person still hidden behind the beam of light.

“I see you already wonderfully apply the concept of obedience, dearest,” he purrs, and you shiver in your white summer dress in response — the nights had been warm but you suddenly find yourself questioning your choice of clothing. 

“Are you ready to begin your first lesson?”

There’s this uneasy feeling that inhabits you, telling you to run away from this place, from this man, but you ignore it — he is the voice of reason, and you are but a lost soul looking for guidance.

“Yes, Father,” you find your voice at last, although faint and gentle.

“Come closer, my lost lamb,” he says, more assertively. “Be not afraid, for I will guide you towards the light.”

Your feet move of their own accord as you speak up, “If I may ask, what will be the goal of this lesson?”

“You desire to believe of your own volition, do you not? To be shown the path for you to choose?” You nod. “Then I will show you the reach of our Lord.”

You reach the first step of the altar, where you stop, not daring to approach further.

“Close your eyes, and repeat after me.” And so, you obey, once again. With your eyes closed, you let his voice enrapture you, and you repeat every sentence back to him, both of your voices echoing the prayer between the walls of the church.

Father Astarion,

To you, I deliver my mind,

To mould in His image.

I deliver my body and flesh,

To use in His name.

I deliver my very soul,

To guide me back into His embrace.

I surrender myself to you,

To be reborn anew.

Amen.

“Open your eyes, my little angel.”

Father Astarion had taken a step forward, placing him right under the light that reflected against his platinum hair, creating a halo surrounding him. As he stood right between the statues of the disciples depicted around the altar, he looked like the Lord himself.

All but for one exception.

His eyes.

Not a trick of the light, they were indeed red. A deep, ruby red that shone vividly. In addition to his sharp traits enhanced under the holy light, he looked like a celestial being; an angel. 

You step back, unbelieving your eyes fixated on the creature before you, and you remain paralysed. You swear they used to be black–

“I was just like you, little lamb,” he steps towards you. “A lost soul, questioning the Lord’s existence — his word — and I lost my faith. Until I was shown His greatness, and I was guided back into His arms. Redeemed. The Lord has sent me specifically to take care of lost souls like yours. After all, who better to guide you than a fallen angel?”

He stood right in front of you now, his arms open, inviting you in.

“Are you ready to let the Lord enter you — mind, body and soul?”

When the words leave your lips, they're but a whisper.

“Yes, Father.”

The Lord Himself had sent an angel to deliver your punishment; how could you question His power now?

“Good, my little lamb.” 

He approaches you, each heavy step taken towards you creating a greater tension in your chest. 

“You need only follow my word.” He continues, “Our Lord will absolve you of your sins for as long as you obey.”

He circles behind you and his hands find your bare shoulders, making you gasp at the touch. 

They were just as strong as you imagined in your most depraved thoughts, but they were much, much colder.

“You trust me, do you not, my sweet?”

While one of his hands trailed along the side of your shivering arm, he slid a finger under the thin strap of your dress. Your heart beating away in your chest made it only harder to answer back.

“Y– Yes, Father.”

His breath down your neck created a warmth between your legs and a fog in your mind, and when he pushed the strap down your arm, you barely felt it.

When he reached for the zipper in your back and pulled down, you didn’t question it. 

When your dress fell down to the floor, revealing your body in its most humble form, you didn't cover yourself back.

“My precious little angel, you are a vision.”

Father Astarion remained behind you where you couldn’t see him as he whispered against your ear, and you wouldn’t move unless he ordered you to. You didn’t want to risk going against his word, not with him so close to you, not with the way his hand had moved to your front and brushed against your breasts ever so lightly, and down your navel. Not with the way his strong fingers felt wrapped around your throat, holding you in place.

When his other hand found your entrance, your knees buckled and a heavy breath left your chest.

“You devilish little thing, you are positively drenched." His raspy voice breathed down your neck, "Has a man ever touched you like this before?"

"No, Father, I- I wouldn't."

"Good girl," he purrs and you can almost feel his lips against your skin. "You keep yourself pure for our Lord, I commend you for your restraint."

His praise had you weak in the knees and warm at your core.

"Have you ever touched yourself?”

“N– No.”

Technically not a lie — you never touched yourself, but on nights where you imagined Father Astarion as close as he was now, it was hard for you to keep your thighs from rubbing together to relieve yourself of the ache that had built up.

“Have you ever thought about a man touching you this way before?”

“I…”

He had to be a mind reader, how else would he have known you were just thinking about this?

Met with your silence, Father Astarion growls in your ear, “Remember that lying is a sin, darling. You wouldn’t want to add another infraction to your holy record, would you?”

You bite your lip, remembering vividly the dreams you had about a priest you knew all too well and how the same fingers entering you now would feel.

“I have, F– Father.”

"Tell me, then, who did you imagine between your legs? Touching you, tasting you...” his tongue traced the side of your ear, earing a breathy moan from you. "Fucking you?"

You can feel your face burning up and your lungs fighting for air, as if Hell had taken place in this very church and the flames of temptation were threatening to swallow you whole for your sins.

“Y— You, Father,” you stutter.

“And you kept this to yourself? You lied to our Lord, to me, by avoiding this confession?” You shut your eyes in shame in answer. “Oh, you are much more depraved than I thought, child. We cannot let this go unpunished.”

You whimper when he removes himself from inside of you and walks back into the spotlight, leaving you with a mess between your legs and a racy heart in your chest.

“If you wish to be absolved, approach the altar.”

His change of tone instilled fear in each of your steps forward, but you advanced nonetheless.

“Bend over,” he ordered.

You do as you're told, hissing as your sinfully warmed up skin gets in contact with the cool marble surface of the altar. You were barely tall enough to fit on the high table, your hands grabbing onto the ledge for balance.

“You will recite the Our Father just as I instructed you, and you will do so without as much as a whine. Am I understood?” You nod. “Speak up, sinner.” “Yes, Father,” you answer, your voice already shaking.

“Good.” His feet push apart your legs, leaving you fully exposed and on your tiptoes, now relying completely on your arms for support. “Proceed.”

You take a deep breath and begin, “Our Father, who art in heaven– AH!”

You jump at the sudden contact of his hand over your sensitive skin.

“Start. Over.”

You gulp. “Our Father, who art in heaven, haa— hallowed be thy name; thy kingdom c– COME!” You scream as you receive this last spank, stronger than the previous one.

He groans, “Again.” 

“Please, I can’t—” you sob, the pain from his spanking breaking not only your body, but your spirit.

“Do you enjoy this?” He spanks you again, harder. “The sting of my hand against your skin?” And again. “The tears building up in your eyes?” And again. “Answer!”

“No!” You cry out. “Please, I beg you — mercy, Father please,” you plead, and plead, your voice drowned out by your sobbing.

“This is what you deserve for straying away from the rightful path, little lamb.” You arch your back as his hand grabs onto the base of your hair and pulls back. “Are you not willing to take your punishment, like a good little follower?”

“Please,” you keep begging. “I’ll do anything Father, anything but this, I beg you—” 

Your legs shake from the pain, knees buckling, and your arms fighting for dear life to hold on to the altar, which had been warmed up by your skin.

“If you are unwilling to receive your rightful punishment, we will need to reshape your will, little one.” 

At last, he releases your hair from his grasp and you collapse to your knees with a cry as both your arms and legs give out. 

With your face down panting, you don't even notice one of your hands still desperately holding onto the edge of the altar.

“I can show you a new path,” Father Astarion continues, his voice kinder than before. “One of pleasure and devotion.”

You jump when his hand touches you again, this time with a surprising gentleness that you find yourself leaning into as he strokes your wet cheek. 

“Another way for you to repent, so you may be absolved of your sins; by proving your faithfulness to me.”

His thumb wipes away the last tear that fell from your eyes, before lifting your chin up to him.

“You want to be known, to be tasted — I can offer you that. All you need to do is offer yourself to me. Do you wish to be mine, little angel?”

“Yes, Father,” you breathe out. “More than anything in the world.”

He blinks once softly and a smile appears on his thin lips.

“Then you shall be mine, as I shall be yours. For as long as you'll be on your knees for me, God will absolve you of your sins.”

His hand leaves your chin and you watch him as he sucks on the same thumb that erased your tears, before tracing a cross over your forehead with it, and you close your eyes basking in his tender touch.

“You will experience our Lord's presence inside of you in ways you have never experienced before. You will relinquish yourself to me and worship me without second thoughts. You will never feel hollow, ever again, little love.” 

When you open your eyes again, the holy light surrounding him almost blinded you with how much brighter it felt now that you were on your knees, under him.

“You will show me the same devotion you would God, as you’ll now refer to me as Lord.” Your Saint, your fallen angel, you Lord; you would worship the very ground he walked on, and spend the rest of your life repenting at his feet, as he was proof of a faith you dared to doubt in the first place.

The words leave your parted lips effortlessly, “Yes, my Lord.”

As he grins, you notice the sharp fangs in the corner of his mouth and finally see him for what he really is.

A wolf in sheep's clothing.

A devil in the house of God.

Your unholy punishment.

One that you accept as he dives his fangs into the crook of your neck, surrendering yourself to him, to be reborn anew.

Amen.

Thank you for reading! Comments, reblogs, and likes are very much appreciated <3

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[cheynovak]

Complicated

Characters: Soldier boy x Y/N Female character     

Summary: Y/N, a young personal assistant to Soldier Boy (Ben) and Crimson Countess, is caught in a whirlwind of events that shatter her sense of stability. After accidentally witnessing an intimate moment between Ben, Crimson, and another woman, she’s left shaken and unsure how to process it. The following day, Crimson casually invites her to join them, which only adds to Y/N's confusion.

Warnings: 18+ Threesome, cheating, smut

English is not my first language 

*This story is my own original story, please do not copy my work, reblog/comments/likes are appreciated* 

part 2/?

I drove back to my office, not knowing where else to go. My, our apartment was no longer a refuge—it was tainted, just like everything else. The small couch in my workspace was uncomfortable, but it was better than facing the wreckage of my life back home. I curled up on it, hugging a pillow, tears silently streaming down my face. I had never felt so alone.

Eventually, exhaustion took over, and I drifted in and out of a fitful sleep, crying even in my dreams. Every now and then, I'd wake up to the sound of my own quiet sobs, the weight of everything pressing down on me.

At some point in the night, I felt something, someone, touching my hair. I stirred, disoriented and groggy. For a split second, I thought maybe it was a dream, but then I saw him.

Kevin.

He was standing there, his hand gently stroking my hair as if he had every right to be there, as if nothing had happened. The sight of him sent a surge of anger and panic through me, and I bolted upright, screaming.

"Get out! Leave! Now!"

Kevin looked shocked, he tried to calm me down while I kept yelling, he was telling me all the things he thought I wanted to hear, pretending this was the first time he cheated but that was a lie, I knew it deep down.

Then I heard a deep, calm voice from behind me.

"Is there a problem here?"

I turned, and there he was, Soldier Boy. My screaming must have been so loud he heard it at the top floor where his penthouse was. Or he's just happened to walk by.

His imposing figure stood in the doorway, arms crossed, his expression hard. His eyes shifted between Kevin and me, quickly assessing the situation. He must've noticed my red, tear-streaked face because his gaze darkened, and I could see the tension ripple through him.

Kevin opened his mouth, likely to make some excuse or explanation, but Ben cut him off with a single, cold command.

"Leave."

The word hung in the air like a threat, and Kevin hesitated for only a second before backing down. He gave me one last guilty look before slipping out of the room. The door clicked shut behind him, leaving an eerie silence in its wake.

I was still sitting on the couch, my body tense, my mind reeling from everything that had just happened. Ben stayed standing for a moment, watching me. He wasn’t smiling, his usual cocky, teasing attitude gone. Instead, his expression was unreadable, almost concerned.

After a long pause, he walked over and sat down beside me on the couch. He didn’t say anything right away. The room was so quiet I could hear my own ragged breathing.

For the first time since everything had gone so wrong, I didn’t feel like I was drowning. His presence, solid and calm, was grounding me in a way I didn’t expect.

As I sat there, tears still rolling down my cheeks, Ben shifted slightly beside me. Before I could react, he pulled me into his arms. My body tensed at first, but then I melted into the warmth of his chest, my cheek pressing against the firm muscle beneath his shirt. The quiet hum of his heartbeat was the only thing I could focus on as the sobs came again, uncontrollable and raw.

I didn’t hold back this time. I blurred out everything, the pain, the humiliation, the betrayal. "He cheated on me," I choked out between sobs, "and I was so stupid… I really thought he loved me." My voice cracked on the last word, and fresh tears poured down.

Ben didn’t say a word. He didn’t offer any comforting reassurances or tell me everything would be okay. He just sat there, letting me cry, holding me like he had no idea what to do but felt obligated to be there.

His arms weren’t tight around me, just loosely draped as if he were holding something fragile he didn’t really want to break but didn’t quite know how to handle. It was awkward in a way, like he didn’t want to get too close, but he didn’t want to pull away either.

For some reason, that made it worse. I felt small in his arms, insignificant, like this whole emotional outburst was just another inconvenience for him. I shouldn’t have cared, but it made me feel even more broken. My chest ached, my throat raw from crying, and I didn’t know what to say, so I mumbled the only thing I could think of.

“I’m sorry…”

I pulled back just slightly, enough to look up at him, my face still wet with tears. His expression was unreadable, his eyes dark, intense, watching me with something I couldn’t quite place. Before I could process it, before I could even think, his hand gripped my chin firmly, and suddenly, his lips were on mine.

It wasn’t soft, or tender, it was forceful, rough, a kiss that left no room for doubt or hesitation. My body froze in shock, my mind going blank as I registered what was happening. This wasn’t what I needed. This wasn’t what I had asked for.

I almost leaned into it, almost let myself fall into the moment, but something inside me snapped back to reality. My hands instinctively pressed against his chest, pushing him away, breaking the kiss.

I pulled back, wide-eyed, breathless, and completely overwhelmed. I stared at him, my mind racing, trying to make sense of what had just happened. Ben’s gaze was still locked on me, his breathing steady, but there was a flicker of something unreadable in his eyes something dark and unrepentant.

I didn’t know what to say. My mind screamed at me to leave, to run, but I was frozen in place, caught between fear, confusion, and the weight of everything that had happened.

Without thinking twice, my anger toward Kevin surged like a wave, and before I could stop myself, I crashed my lips back against his. The heat between us ignited quickly, our tongues battling for control, the intensity of it all erasing any hesitation I had just moments ago. It wasn’t about passion, it was about drowning out the hurt, the betrayal.

For a minute or two, we were lost in that raw, reckless kiss.

Then Ben pulled back, a glint in his eyes as he grinned, still holding my hand. “Let’s get you some revenge,” he said, his voice low and filled with something dark.

My breath hitched as he tugged me to my feet, leading me toward the elevator. My mind spun, still trying to catch up with what was happening, but part of me—part of me wanted this, needed this.

The idea of payback, of forgetting Kevin, made me follow without question. A night with Soldier boy was something a lot of women would sell their soul for.

When the elevator doors opened into his penthouse, I was hit with a rush of nerves, a gnawing feeling deep in my gut. The space was grand, just as I’d expect from Soldier Boy, but what made my stomach drop was who was waiting for us.

Crimson Countess.

She stood by the window, dressed in something slinky and red, her lips curling into a wicked smile when she saw us enter. "Well, you brought company." The knowing look in her eyes made it clear she knew exactly what was happening, what Ben had brought me here for.

My heart raced as realization hit me like a brick. This wasn’t just about me and Ben. His intentions became clear.

“Oh no, I… I’ve never done anything like this,” I stammered, feeling completely out of my depth, my skin tingling with a mix of fear and something I didn’t want to admit.

Ben didn’t miss a beat. He sat on the bed, leaning back casually, watching me with that same confident, predatory gleam in his eyes. Crimson stepped up behind me, close enough that I could feel her breath on my neck.

“That’s okay,” Ben murmured, his voice low, coaxing. “She’ll teach you anything you want. We can take it slow.”

I swallowed hard, my mind spinning. Everything about this felt wrong and right all at once, the pull of anger and the need to numb my pain warring inside me.

I had never been in a situation like this, never imagined myself here, but the bitterness I felt toward Kevin and the desire to hurt him the way he’d hurt me clouded my judgment.

Crimson’s soft voice whispered behind me. " This will be fun." Ben added “Don’t you want payback on, what’s-his-name?”

“Kevin,” I muttered, my voice shaky. My breath hitched as she lightly ran her fingers down my arm.

Ben smiled, his eyes gleaming as he leaned forward on the bed. “Right. And what better revenge than spending a night with not just one, but two superior beings?”

My pulse raced, my body caught between fear and something I didn’t want to admit. The temptation to get back at Kevin was so strong, the anger still boiling inside me. The words danced in my mind—payback, revenge, forgetting the pain—and I was so close to giving in.

Ben's eyes were locked on me, challenging me. Crimson’s hands lightly brushed my shoulders, her touch warm, inviting.

But was this really the kind of revenge I wanted?

--

The answer was yes.

I gave in to the pull of revenge, the need to drown out the hurt Kevin had caused me. Ben kept his word, taking it slow, easing me into a world I had never imagined I’d be part of. I had a little to drink first, and another, just enough to blur the sharp edges of my anxiety.

Crimson made the first move, her touch soft but confident. Ben just sat there, relaxed, watching me as I explored the sensation of another woman’s body for the first time.

Crimson was clear about what she liked, guiding me with a kind of experienced patience that made it easier for me to follow. I couldn’t say I truly enjoyed it, it was more surreal than anything. But my body responded, either to her touch or to the way Ben’s gaze burned into me as he watched, his eyes following every movement, every reaction I had, playing with himself while smoking a blunt.

I wasn’t sure if it was the alcohol, or the way he looked at me, but after a while, I found myself giving in. When Crimson brought me to my first orgasm, my mind clouded with the strange mix of guilt and release. She smiled, satisfied with herself, and then leaned back, her voice sultry as she said, “I want to try something else, I'll be right back."

I was still lying on my back, catching my breath, my mind spinning in ways I couldn’t control. I looked up at Ben, feeling more exposed than ever under his intense stare.

Without hesitation, he grabbed me by the arm and pulled me up, straddling him in a swift motion that made my heart race. His hands slid over my naked form, fingers brushing my skin in a way that made me shiver despite myself.

"I thought you were a little nun," he teased, his voice low and teasing, his lips hovering near my ear. "A virgin waiting till her wedding night."

I bit my lip, my mind a mess of thoughts and emotions. The guilt, the anger, the desire to forget—it all mixed together until I couldn’t tell one feeling from another.

Ben's lips brushed my ear again, his voice even lower this time, dripping with confidence. "You need a man to really enjoy it, don’t you?"

I nodded quickly, too overwhelmed to speak. His grip tightened on my hips, and for a second, I felt like I was teetering on the edge of something dangerous, something I couldn’t come back from.

Ben’s hands gripped my hips firmly, guiding me with deliberate slowness until I felt him pressing against me. In his hand he didn't seemed all too big, but brushing against me made me beg to differ.

Just an inch, and I gasped, my head falling back as a rush of sensation overwhelmed me. He was big, too big. My body tensed, trying to adjust to the feeling, but even through the discomfort, there was something undeniably intoxicating about it.

I could feel his eyes on me, the heat of his gaze as he studied my every reaction. His hands never let go of my hips, controlling my movements as he slowly pushed deeper, inch by inch. I tried to stay focused, my breathing ragged as my body started to respond in ways I wasn’t expecting.

My face was close to his now, my hands resting on his broad neck near his hair for balance, finger tugging at his hair. I could hear his breathing, steady but deep, as he helped me move up and down, guiding me to take him deeper, bit by bit.

The sensation was overwhelming, my mind a blur of thoughts and sensations. I couldn’t think about anything else, not Kevin, not the mess my life had become, just the way my body was reacting, the way Ben’s hands felt on me, the way he filled me. It was too much, and not enough all at once.

As I moved on him, Ben’s voice was a low, sultry murmur, sending shivers down my spine. “That’s it, just like that,” he encouraged, his breath warm against my ear. “Feel how good this is? You’re doing amazing.”

He shifted slightly, guiding my hips. “You’re so tight… just let go and let me take you there.”

I could feel his hands tightening on my waist as he thrust deeper. “You like that, don’t you? You were made for me.” His eyes locked onto mine, filled with an intensity that made me blush.

Ben’s voice was low and commanding as he talked, guiding my movements with an intensity that made my heart race. I caught a glimpse of his eyes flicking to something behind me—probably Crimson returning—but his attention remained solely on me. He was in control, and I was swept along for the ride, unable to dictate the speed or the rhythm of his thrusts.

“Just focus on me. Let me show you how good it can feel.”

Each word dripped with a mix of dominance and allure, making it impossible for me to resist. “I want to see you fall apart, to feel every inch of me,” he growled, urging me on as I lost myself in the moment.

As pleasure built, he leaned closer, his lips brushing my ear. “You’re perfect like this. Just let it take over.” And when I finally reached that edge, he whispered, “That’s it… let go for me.”

With each deep thrust, I felt myself teetering on the edge, overwhelmed by the sensations coursing through me. I lost track of time as pleasure built, wave after wave crashing over me until I finally tipped over the edge, spiraling into a blissful release. It hit me again and again, each pulse sending me higher, until finally, I felt him reach his own climax, his breath ragged against my skin.

As the aftershocks settled, I glanced at Crimson. She wore a look that suggested she wasn’t entirely pleased, but in that moment, I didn’t care. I was too worn out, my body buzzing with the remnants of ecstasy.

Eventually, I found a comfortable position on Ben's left side, feeling the warmth of his body next to me. Crimson settled on his right, and the exhaustion washed over me, pulling me into a deep sleep. In that moment, I let go of everything—the hurt, the betrayal—and surrendered to the darkness.

--

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[jetii]

Event Horizon

Chapter Eleven: Normalcy

Chapter WC: 11,172

Chapter Tags/Warnings: none

A/N: This chapter is 95% dialogue, and yes I could’ve cut it but…I didn’t want to.

Previous Chapter | Next Chapter | Join the Taglist | Masterlist

After a fitful sleep, one fraught with nightmares, you wake early the next morning. 

You’ve taken to writing down your dreams when you wake, no longer confident that the nightmares are truly that and not something more prophetic. After Felucia, you know better. 

You don't write down much, just the barest of details, and a vague recollection, but it's enough. And, when you read them back, a pattern emerges. Ever since you awoke in the medbay, you've been dreaming about golden fields, dust and smoke, and a searing pain in your chest so intense, you wake up gasping. 

There's no one else, just the grass, and the dirt, and the wind, and, above it all, the feeling of something horrible about to happen. It's the same every time. Over and over again in a loop, and you're growing tired of it. And despite your efforts, you're no closer to understanding it.

You haven't told anyone, and you're not sure what to do with the information. So, for now, you've decided to keep the details to yourself, at least until you figure out what they mean.

You set the dream journal aside, and you dress quickly, slipping into a fresh pair of robes and leaving your quarters to resume your duties at long last.

Overnight, there was a fire in the Undercity, and the Council dispatched you to investigate the issue. It's far from the first time such an event has occurred, and after a quick debriefing, you head out. The fire had originated in the abandoned warehouse district and had spread to several nearby structures, making cleanup tricky. You spend the better part of the day assisting in the recovery effort and meeting with the survivors, taking note of their injuries and asking questions where you can.

The next few days pass in a blur of activity, and, before long, you've forgotten about your conversation with Obi-Wan and your evening out together. He doesn't bring it up, and neither do you, and the two of you continue on, acting like nothing ever happened. 

It's not exactly a healthy choice, but some things are better left unsaid. It's not like either of you have had the time to talk about it, either. There's always something going on, and the War keeps everyone busy. It's easier, and safer, and the Council doesn't need any more reasons to scrutinize the two of you. Well, mostly you, but you were doing your best to make sure you were on their good side.

By the end of the week, you and the Coruscant Guard are able to catch the arsonist. A local crime boss, known for his use of black market chemicals, had set the blaze in an attempt to cover up the evidence of his operation. You bring him and his crew to justice, and after a long debriefing with a Senate committee, another subcommittee, and then the Council, you're finally dismissed.

With the issue resolved and your report completed, you find yourself with some unexpected downtime. And for the first time in a long time, you're able to enjoy a bit of a break. 

It's still early when you decide to go for a run, and you're out of the Temple and onto the streets in no time. The weather is mild, and the sun is shining, and despite the constant buzz of the traffic, it's pleasant. You've missed running, the only thing that seems to actually clear your head these days, and it's not long before you're lost in thought, the city fading into the background.

It's been weeks since the incident on Felucia. And since then, you've barely had a chance to process what happened. In fact, aside from the nightmares, the only time you've really been able to stop and think was the night you and Obi-Wan snuck off to the cantina. 

Now, as you jog through the city, the air crisp and cool, and the noise of the world dulled, the memories come rushing back. The conversation with Rex in the woods, the pain of the explosion, and the way the Force had screamed at you. You'd been trying to forget, but, somehow, the memories are clearer than ever. As though the alcohol had stripped away the fog, and now, all you're left with are the images.

The war has intensified in recent months. More troops, more missions, and the losses have only increased. Every day, there's a new report of another battle gone wrong, another platoon lost, another planet captured. 

It's getting harder and harder to keep up, and you can only hope that when you return to the frontlines, you're ready. You can’t afford to let yourself panic as you did on Felucia, and the consequences of your failure would be even worse.

The thought makes you grimace, and you force yourself to run faster, pushing the memories away. There's no use dwelling on what's already happened, and you need to focus on the present. And on what’s yet to come.

Your run takes you through the Upper Levels of the city, and as the day progresses, the crowds thicken. Soon, the streets are full of people, and you're weaving between them, ducking and dodging, apologizing under your breath. 

You’re not sure where you’re going, but you keep moving, not paying attention to your surroundings. Until, eventually, you stop in front of the clone barracks.

You look around, and when you realize where you are, a frown tugs at your lips. The building looms in front of you, and you stare up at it, more than a little stunned. You hadn't intended to come here. Or maybe you had. You're not really sure.

Wiping the sweat from your brow, you watch at the entrance for a few moments before shaking your head. There's no reason for you to go inside, and there's certainly no point in bothering him. He's busy. So are you. The two of you don't need to worry about the other. And you certainly don't need to complicate things.

"General?"

You jump and turn. Rex is standing a few feet behind you, his helmet tucked under his arm. He looks exactly as he did the last time you'd seen him, only this time, his eyes are wide, and his cheeks are flushed.

"Captain," you say, smiling. You wave and nod toward the barracks, trying to keep your voice casual. "I didn't expect to see you here. Are you on leave? I thought the 501st was still stationed on Devaron."

Rex doesn't respond, his gaze drifting down momentarily before he quickly refocuses on your face. He looks a bit startled, and more than a little flustered. 

It's only then that you realize you're still wearing your workout clothes, a sleeveless shirt and shorts that reveal quite a bit of your body, your windbreaker tied around your waist. You're not really one for modesty, but Rex has never seen you like this. In fact, none of the clones have. And it's obvious that he's struggling to keep his eyes on your face. 

Your cheeks heat slightly, and you cross your arms, arching an eyebrow. 

"Rex?"

"Yes?" he mumbles. His widen before they snap back to yours, his hand rubbing the back of his neck. "Sorry. General. It's...you...look good—healthy. Healthy. It’s good to see you looking healthy."

"Well, thank you," you say, your amusement growing. He looks so embarrassed, and yet, he hasn't stopped staring at you, and it's making it hard not to laugh. You shift your weight and tilt your head. "Are you alright?"

"Oh, yes, sir," he stammers. He blinks a few times and clears his throat. "I'm fine. Just wasn't expecting to run into you. Here. At the barracks."

"Right," you chuckle. You take a deep breath and shake your head. "I was just taking a run. Got a bit lost. Guess I was distracted."

"I see."

"Mhm." 

The two of you stand there for a few moments. You're not quite sure what to say. Rex is cute when he’s flustered, but the tension is awkward, and you can tell he's not comfortable. So, after a few seconds, you force a smile.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt your morning. I'm sure you have a lot to do,” you say, giving him a friendly nod. You glance over at the barracks and then back at him. "I should get going."

"No, no, you’re not interrupting," he assures you quickly, and he shrugs, his eyes meeting yours. “I was actually on my way out."

"You're leaving?"

"Yeah," he replies, and he gestures to the door. "We got in last night. Just finished debriefing. They're giving us a few days of downtime. Figured I'd take a walk, see the city."

"Ah.”

You look down and fiddle with your jacket, biting the inside of your cheek. This is exactly why you shouldn't have come. Things are too complicated, and you're making it difficult. 

You let out a quiet sigh and look up. He's still staring at you, and he seems genuinely happy to see you, his eyes bright. He's always been so kind, and attentive, and respectful. And he's never once asked anything of you. He's just...Rex. Rex, who treats you like a person, and not just a Jedi.

And, selfishly, you like that. You like having someone who doesn't see you as an asset, or a tool, or a weapon. Someone who isn't afraid to challenge you, and who makes you laugh. Who gives you his full attention and doesn't look at you like a disappointment or a disaster waiting to happen.

While it might be the height of foolishness, and you know that nothing can come of it, it doesn't mean you have to cut yourself off from him completely.

“Would you...like some company?" you ask slowly, a shy smile tugging at your lips. "On your walk."

Rex blinks, his eyes widening, and a hint of red creeps up his cheeks. He looks so surprised, and a little pleased, and a warm feeling blooms in your chest.

"I'd be happy to show you around," you continue. "If you'd like. I know the city pretty well."

He opens his mouth and then closes it. He looks a bit like a fish, and, again, it's cute. Really cute. You find yourself smiling wider, and you wait patiently, the awkwardness dissipating and your confidence returning. 

When he doesn't say anything, you roll your eyes. 

"Unless you don't want to hang out with me, and then I'll leave you alone. You know, I can take a hint. I won't be offended."

Rex chuckles and shakes his head. "No, I...would love some company. But you must have better things to do."

"I'm off duty.” You shrug. "And I've been meaning to get back to the city. Besides, you could use a guide. The last thing you need is to get lost in Coruscant. Not a great look for a representative of the Republic."

"Right," he says, laughing. He takes a step toward you, and he smiles, his eyes warm. "In that case, lead the way."

You grin and turn, heading down the walkway. Rex falls in step beside you, and you set off down the street, a comfortable silence settling over the two of you. You lead him down several winding pathways, weaving through the crowds, the buildings towering over you. The sun is high overhead, and the air is warm, and the city is filled with noise, the hum of the traffic, the sounds of the people, the buzz of the air.

You point out various sites and monuments, telling him a little about each, and Rex listens intently, his eyes moving from one structure to the next. He doesn't ask any questions or press for details, and he seems content to let you ramble, his gaze focused on the city.

You continue like that for a while, chatting and strolling through the streets. The city is beautiful, and it's nice to have a bit of a break. A chance to do something, anything, normal.

As you walk, you sneak glances at him, watching him out of the corner of your eye. He looks a bit more relaxed, his shoulders less tense, but you’re starting to notice he’s making a concerted effort not to look directly at you. 

You wonder if he thinks you haven't noticed, but it's impossible to miss. Anytime he catches your gaze, Rex looks away, his cheeks turning pink. It's not a bad look on him, but you'd be lying if you said you didn't find his efforts to cling to professionalism as frustrating as they are amusing.

You decide to take pity on him and put on your windbreaker, zipping it up to cover your exposed skin. As soon as the fabric is covering your chest, his shoulders drop, and his eyes flick back to yours. He smiles, and you smirk back before turning to point out a statue. The conversation resumes, and his gaze never leaves your face.

You spend the next hour wandering the streets and taking in the sights. It's been a long time since you've gotten to enjoy a day without the weight of responsibility and duty, and even longer since you've been able to show someone around. You almost forgot how much you love this city. Or how much you used to.

At one point, Rex stops and tilts his head, looking up at the tall spires of the skyscrapers, the sun shining down on him. He looks so relaxed, so peaceful, and it makes your heart ache. He doesn't get a chance to do this. None of them do. They're constantly fighting, constantly at war, and, if it weren't for the fact that he was wearing his armor, he would look like anyone else out for a stroll.

He deserves this. To feel normal. To live a life that isn't dictated by the needs and wants of others. To know freedom, and happiness, and joy, and love. And you don't know if he ever truly will. You hope he will. But the chances are slim, and it's hard not to feel a little guilty.

"Something wrong?"

You blink, realizing you've been staring at him, and you smile. "No, I'm fine."

"You sure?"

"Yeah." You look around, taking in the scenery, and you try to distract yourself. "It's just...been a while since I've been able to do this. I forgot how much I loved this city."

"I can see why," he says. "It's beautiful."

"Yeah," you agree. "It is."

You watch him as he takes in the cityscape. He looks so at peace, and so carefree, and the sadness that had overtaken you disappears, replaced by a different kind of ache. An ache that you're all too familiar with. One that you've felt more than once since you were brought back together.

You push it aside and clear your throat. 

"So...where to next? Got any place in particular you'd like to see?"

"No," he replies. Rex turns his attention back to you and grins. "Just thought I'd follow your lead."

"Are you sure?" you tease as you nudge him with your elbow. "You don't have a hidden desire to visit the Museum of Fine Arts? Or the Opera House? You haven’t lived until you’ve seen an all-Bith performance of the Cantina Cantata. It's a Coruscanti classic."

"Ha, ha," he says dryly. "Very funny."

"What?" you ask. You bat your lashes in a show of innocence, and he scoffs. "It's a legitimate question."

"No, thank you,” he says, rolling his eyes, and he gives you a look. "I'll pass. Unless, of course, you want to."

"Force, no," you groan, and Rex lets out a laugh that has your heart fluttering. You smirk and start walking again, glancing at him from the corner of your eye. "There is one place I'd like to go, if that's alright with you. Are you hungry?"

"Starving," he admits with a sheepish smile. "We've been eating rations for two weeks straight. Haven't had real food in ages."

"Perfect."

You're getting close to the industrial district, and you take a left down an alley. It's a narrow path between two towering buildings, and the air is hazy, and there's a smell of smoke and fuel. The street is mostly deserted, and you're careful not to trip over any loose stones or stray bits of scrap. 

It's not the best area of the city, but, if there's one thing you've learned, it's that the best places are often in the worst neighborhoods. And this one was the best.

"You sure this place serves clones?" Rex asks warily as he follows you. He's looking around the alley, his hand resting on his blaster. "Seems a little rough."

"Trust me," you tell him. "This place is great."

The alley ends abruptly and you're greeted by the familiar sight of the small diner. It's an older building, and it's been there for a long time, a relic of the old days. The rounded durasteel walls glint in the afternoon sun, the neon sign blinking in the window, and the door is open, the sound of conversation spilling into the street. A few patrons are standing outside chatting, their eyes watching the two of you, but no one says a word as you enter.

"Hi honey," a cheerful voice calls. A waitress droid wheels over, her round eyes shining. "Welcome. Welcome. What can I get for you today?"

"Table for two, please," you say. “Thanks, FLO.”

"Right this way," she chirps, and she spins around, heading toward the back of the diner. 

You nudge Rex, who's looking around the room nervously, and you nod your head toward FLO's retreating form. "Come on. She won't bite."

"I've never been to a place like this," he mutters as he follows you, staying close. "It's so...normal."

"That's kind of the point," you laugh. You glance over your shoulder and give him a reassuring smile. "Everyone deserves a little normal."

"Fair enough." He takes a deep breath and gives you a half-smile. "Thanks for doing this."

"Of course," you say.

You follow FLO to a booth at the back, and you're about to slide into the seat across from him when a large shadow falls over the table. Rex tenses immediately, his hand moving to his weapon, and you whirl around, expecting the worst. But, instead, you're greeted with the wide grin of an old friend.

"Hi Dex," you say warmly. "Long time no see."

You wince as you're immediately wrapped up in a hug, four arms squeezing you tightly and lifting your feet clean off the ground.

"Hey kid!" he booms. "How the hell are ya?"

"Good," you squeak. "And yourself?"

"I can't complain," Dex says. He releases you and sets you back on the floor, his hand on your shoulder to keep you from toppling over. "Can't complain at all. How've you been? Haven't seen you in forever."

"Busy," you reply with a shrug. "You know how it is."

"Always working," he sighs. He looks around, his eyes landing on Rex for a moment before focusing back on you, a frown bisecting his face. "Where's Obi-Wan? Not used to seeing one without the other."

"Offworld," you explain. "The war’s keeping him busy."

"Ah," Dex says. "And this is...?"

He nods toward Rex, his eyes narrowed and his mouth set in a hard line. Dex isn't an aggressive man, but he's no pushover either, and he doesn't suffer fools. You have no doubt that, should the need arise, he's perfectly capable of taking care of himself. And you're equally certain that he won't hesitate to put a few bolts in anyone who threatens his customers.

"This is Rex, captain of the 501st Legion," you tell him. "My friend."

"Your friend," Dex echoes. He stares at Rex for a long moment, his gaze scrutinizing, before he grins and offers one of his hands. "Dexter Jettster. Welcome to Dex's Diner."

Rex hesitates before he takes the offered hand and shakes it. "Thanks. It's a nice place."

"It's a dump," Dex laughs. "But it's mine. And it's been a good place for years."

"Well, it's a great dump," Rex replies. He looks around and grins. "Very welcoming."

"Glad to hear it," Dex chuckles, and he glances down at you and gives your shoulder a squeeze. "Don't be a stranger. You’re always welcome. You tell Obi-Wan, too.”

"Thanks, I will." You smile and watch him go before turning back to Rex. "You good?"

"Yeah," he says. He lets out a deep breath and gives you a wry grin. "For a second there I thought he was going to throw me out."

"Nah," you tell him. You slide into the booth, and Rex does the same across from you. "He has a very strict 'no questions asked' policy. As long as you're a paying customer, he won't bother you. Unless, of course, you're bothering someone else. Then he'll break your legs."

Rex snorts. "Noted."

FLO comes back with two menus, and you both order your caf, the droid zipping away on a squeaky wheel.

"You two are close," Rex says, his eyes scanning his menu.

"Dex? Yeah," you agree as you do the same. "He's a good friend to have."

"I meant you and General Kenobi."

"Oh." You're taken aback by the question, and the tone in his voice. There's no judgement, no accusation, but the statement still manages to catch you off guard. You set your menu down and meet his gaze. "I suppose we are. Why?"

"Nothing," he shrugs. He glances at his menu and then back at you. "It's just...the two of you seem like a good team. That's all."

"We've known each other a long time," you reply, not entirely sure what he's trying to get at. "And we're good friends."

"I've noticed," Rex says quietly. His expression is guarded and unreadable. He's not being hostile, and his tone isn't rude, but the conversation feels oddly...tense. You desperately want to reach out and sift through his thoughts, but you don't, your curiosity not enough of an excuse to cross such a line. So you wait, your hands clenched under the table, your eyes searching his face for some clue as to where this is going.

Rex seems to sense your apprehension, and he sighs. He puts his menu down and leans forward, his eyes fixed on yours.

"You're different around him," he says carefully. "Around everyone else, you're..."

"Distant," you offer. Your voice is soft, and a bit sad. You're not proud of the fact, and you're not sure how else to describe it. "Unfriendly. Cold. Difficult. Take your pick."

Rex is quiet for a moment. He's not judging, and he doesn't seem angry. In fact, if anything, he looks a bit hurt.

"I was going to say intimidating," he corrects, frowning. He tilts his head. "Is that really how you see yourself?"

"Isn't it how everyone sees me?" you challenge.

"I don't."

"Liar.” You scoff. You lean back in the booth and arch an eyebrow. "We barely know each other."

"I think I'm beginning to understand you pretty well," he argues. "And I don't think I've ever met someone more selfless or compassionate." 

"You should get out more."

"Seriously," Rex says. He sits up and holds your gaze. "I’m not the only one who thinks that way. Everyone else, they just...don't know you well enough."

"You don't know me at all," you tell him. "Not really."

"Maybe not," he says. "But I'd like to."

You stare at him, unable to believe what you're hearing.

"Why?"

He's silent for a few moments, his brow furrowing. His jaw is set and his eyes are focused on the table, his fingers tapping against the surface. Finally, he looks up at you, and he sighs.

“Because I think it’s important to know who you're fighting beside," he explains. "And I'd rather die knowing the person standing next to me."

"That's a pretty bleak outlook," you mumble. You can't argue with the sentiment, but the words still sting. You've never been much for talking about yourself, and even less for sharing personal information.

You pick up your menu and hide behind it, pretending to look over the lunch options. "And there’s not much to know."

"I find that hard to believe." Rex reaches out and gently pulls the menu down, his eyes meeting yours. "Look, I didn't mean to offend you. Or pry. I just—"

"I'm not offended," you say, and you shrug. "Just surprised."

"Why's that?"

"It's just rare to hear someone say they'd like to get to know me," you explain. You pause, and then, after a moment, you decide to continue, "Most people either already know who I am or don't want to know. There's no middle ground."

"That's unfortunate," Rex replies. He picks up his menu again and looks it over. "And unfair. You're not all that bad."

"Not all that bad," you repeat with a small smile. "I'm flattered."

"You should be," he says. He glances up at you, and his face is serious, but his eyes are shining with mischief. "I'm an excellent judge of character."

You chuckle, and the tension breaks as FLO returns with two mugs and a carafe of caf. You manage to persuade her to leave the pot, and Rex can't hide his delight at the first sip, his eyes closing as he takes a deep drink, a content sigh escaping him. You bite your cheek in an effort to disguise your smile as he practically moans.

"I take it the stuff in the mess hall isn't as good as this?" you tease.

"Nothing's as good as this," he murmurs. He opens his eyes and gives you a sheepish grin. "Sorry. It’s been a while since I've had a proper cup of caf."

"I can imagine," you laugh, and you nod toward the pot. "There's plenty more."

"You're my hero," he jokes. He picks up the carafe and refills his cup, taking another sip, his eyes fluttering closed again. He shakes his head and smiles at you. "Best cup I've had in a long time."

"I'm glad you approve," you say as you pour your own drink and spoon sugar into it, trying to hide your amusement. 

You're not sure why, but you like watching him enjoy things, even something as simple as a mug of caf. There's something sweet and charming about it, something almost innocent. He's seen far too much for someone his age, and yet, he still manages to hold onto his optimism and his spirit. He's not jaded or cynical. He's a good person, one of the best you've ever met, and you're finding it hard not to admire him. 

You pick up your mug and lift it in a toast. "To proper caf."

"Proper caf," he echoes. He knocks his cup against yours, and the two of you drink. He sets his mug down and leans back in his seat. "So, what do you recommend?"

"What do you like?"

"Honestly? No idea," he answers. He gestures toward the menu. "I'm a bit out of my depth here. Never had real food. Only rations, or whatever the mess serves."

"Right," you say. You take a sip of your caf and scan the page. "How about I order a few things, and we can share?”

“That would be great,” he says, sounding relieved. “Don’t want to embarrass myself.”

“Oh, please," you snort. You wave a dismissive hand and give him a smile. "No worries. It'll be our secret."

You flag down FLO and order, and Rex falls silent, his gaze focused on the window, his thoughts seemingly elsewhere. The droid wheels away, but he doesn’t look back over. He takes another drink and sighs, his fingers drumming the table, his brow furrowed slightly. 

You tilt your head, waiting, and he lets out a breath, his expression becoming neutral as he turns back to you. 

"If I ask a question, will you answer honestly?"

"Depends on the question."

"Fair enough."

He drums his fingers on the table again, and then he squares his shoulders and clears his throat, his eyes focused on your face. His expression is calm, but you can feel a hint of apprehension. Whatever he's about to say, he's nervous. And that makes you nervous.

"The last time we spoke, you seemed certain that the Jedi Council was going to punish you," Rex says slowly. "And you knew how they were going to handle Ahsoka. Like you were speaking from experience."

You stiffen and take a sip of caf, avoiding his gaze and hoping that he doesn't notice your sudden discomfort, but it doesn't take a genius to know that you've been caught off guard. And that you're not particularly keen on talking about the subject. 

You'd thought you'd done well to avoid the topic of your past indiscretions during your time with the Order, but apparently, you hadn't been as subtle as you'd hoped. Rex was too smart for that. You should have known better.

"That's not a question," you tell him. It's an obvious deflection, and the way his eyes narrow makes it clear that he's not buying it. But it's a deflection nonetheless, and you're not inclined to give him an honest answer. 

"Would you be willing to answer if I asked it?" Rex asks cautiously. He hesitates, and you can feel him probing, trying to gauge how receptive you are. 

You give him nothing, your face a carefully constructed mask of polite indifference. It's the expression you'd perfected as a youngling, and the one that has served you well for years. It's kept people from asking questions, and it's kept you from having to answer them. 

Rex seems to recognize it immediately, and he lets out a breath, a rueful smile on his lips. He leans back in his seat, his eyes studying your face, his jaw clenching and unclenching, and he lets out a low chuckle.

"What?" you ask, your brow furrowing.

"Nothing," he says. He shakes his head and shrugs. "Just starting to understand why you and General Skywalker get along so well.”

"Meaning?"

"Meaning the two of you are both stubborn," Rex chuckles, and he picks up his mug and takes a sip. "He does that same thing, the whole stone wall routine."

"Does he?"

"Yeah."

"Good for him."

Rex scoffs and shakes his head again, but he doesn't say anything, his gaze drifting back to the window. There's a slight crease between his brows, and you can tell he's debating whether or not to drop the subject.

“Look,” he starts. He turns back to you and meets your eyes, his face serious. "I can tell you're not comfortable talking about it. I just...want to know what to expect. What I can do. How I can help."

"I don't need your help," you tell him. It's a knee-jerk response, one that has always been your go-to, and you know it's not exactly true. You sigh and shake your head. "I mean...it's not that simple."

"Okay." He nods, his face patient, his eyes kind. "Can you explain?"

"It's...complicated." You hesitate, and you pick at your nails, staring at the table, your mind racing. You're not sure how to begin, or where to start, or what to say. How to put into words the shame and guilt and regret. You open your mouth, and the words are there, but they're stuck in your throat, refusing to budge.

Rex watches you for a few seconds, and then he sits forward and picks up the carafe, pouring more caf into your mug. You blink, the spell broken, and he pushes the cup toward you along with the sugar you’ve been using.

"Here.”

"Thanks," you reply, grateful for the interruption. You add the sweetener, and stir, your eyes on your mug. 

"It's okay. You don't have to tell me,” he says softly. His hand is resting on the table, his fingers tapping the surface. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have pressed."

"It's not that I don't want to," you tell him, the words tumbling out. “Well, okay, it is, but...not for the reasons you're thinking."

"Then what are they?"

You sigh, and you rub your eyes, the exhaustion from the night before settling in. You don't want to lie, and you're tired of secrets, and he's been nothing but understanding and supportive. If there's anyone who might understand, it's him. 

"I'm just...not a very good Jedi."

"You can't be serious," Rex says. He looks appalled, and a little indignant. He shakes his head, and his mouth presses into a thin line. "Of course you are.”

"Hardly." You scoff, and you gesture vaguely in the air, not meeting his eyes. "I have a very complicated relationship with the Council. One that involves me doing the opposite of whatever they want me to do. On multiple occasions."

Rex smirks. "Another thing you and General Skywalker have in common."

"Maybe," you admit. "But I've been on their shit list longer than he has."

"And what have you done to earn that?" he asks. His tone is light, but his words are direct, and a little pointed. He's not judging you, but he wants an answer. A real one. And you're not sure you can give him one, but you try anyway.

"I...have a lot of opinions. And I'm not very good at keeping them to myself, as you know. The Council doesn't appreciate it, and neither do some of the other Jedi."

"That's hardly a crime," he points out.

"Maybe not," you concede. There's a moment of silence, and then you take a deep breath and let it out slowly. "There's...something else."

"Something else?"

"It's not just the opinions."

You fiddle with the spoon, trying to find the right words, trying to figure out how much you should tell him. But the truth is, you don't want to have any more secrets. You trust Rex, perhaps more than you should, and the idea of sharing this particular secret with him is oddly appealing And maybe, just maybe, it will help.

"I'm...not always in the best place, mentally," you finally confess. You keep your voice low, and your eyes on the table, afraid to look at him. You've never said the words out loud, you’ve never had to with Obi-Wan, and he’s the only one you’d ever spoken to about this. The only one still alive, anyway. "Obi-Wan's been...kind enough to overlook it. For the most part."

"For the most part?"

"He has his limits," you explain. You run a hand through your hair, your eyes still downcast. "There are certain things that are...not permitted. Or rather, certain ways that Jedi shouldn't behave. And, as far as the Council is concerned, my behavior has crossed that line on several occasions."

"What sort of behavior?" Rex asks quietly.

"You mean besides arguing with them and disobeying their orders?" you counter.

"Yeah."

You hesitate. You've come this far, and you know you've already said too much, but there's no turning back now. You take a deep breath, and you push aside your pride and your anxiety, your eyes meeting his.

“This doesn’t leave this table, alright? If I tell you, it doesn't go any further. No one can know. You understand?"

"Of course," he agrees immediately. "I won't say a word."

You take a long drink of your caf and let out a sigh, your gaze falling back to the table. It's now or never.

"When I was a youngling, I was apprenticed to a Master," you tell him, keeping your voice low, even though the diner is mostly empty. "Her name was Yaddle. She was one of the High Council members. By that point, I’d had a...history. Of trouble. Of making trouble. I was a handful."

"A handful?" Rex asks, and the corner of his mouth twitches.

"Oh, yes." You roll your eyes, and you can't help the smirk that crosses your face. “Starting fights, running off, talking back, getting in the way, breaking rules. Anything and everything I could think of to get attention."

"And why would a kid like that be apprenticed to one of the most important people in the entire Order?" he asks. "Didn't anyone else want you?"

"No," you admit, and you laugh, a bitter, hollow sound. "Not really. Most people didn't want anything to do with me. The Masters all thought I was too much of a problem. Too difficult."

"Why'd she take you?"

"I don't know," you confess. “At first, I thought it was a punishment, but...after a while, I realized it wasn’t. She genuinely wanted me. And she was the first person who did. I mean, really wanted me."

Rex nods, his face solemn. "What happened?"

"She died," you answer bluntly. You stare at the table and shrug, your eyes burning, and you bite the inside of your cheek. "After the Naboo incident, I’d gone to attend the funeral of Obi-Wan’s Master. She was supposed to come with me, but she said she needed to stay on Coruscant. She said she'd catch up later. But later that night, I felt it. The moment she was gone. I just...felt it. It’s hard to explain if you haven't experienced it. The severing of the bond."

"That must have been rough," Rex murmurs.

"It was," you agree. You swallow hard and look up at him, and the concern and sympathy in his eyes almost breaks you. "And the worst part was, no one believed me. They told me it was my imagination, or a trick of the mind, or a hallucination. But I knew what I felt. She was gone.”

"That's terrible," he says, his voice quiet. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be. I can’t say it was entirely unwarranted." You let out a bitter laugh and take a drink of your caf. “After she was gone, I was...angry. Really angry. And the Masters and the Council were so busy trying to keep the Order together, no one paid any attention to me. Which meant no one noticed when I started investigating. On my own."

"Investigating what?"

"Her death." you say. You finish your caf and set the cup down, turning it between your fingers, and you let out a long breath. You glance around and lower your voice even more, and Rex leans forward, his brow furrowed. "It was murder. I know it was. I managed to find a few clues, but nothing concrete, and I…”

You trail off and stop, suddenly unable to continue. Your mouth goes dry, and you feel sick. You know what you did. You know what you've done, but saying it out loud makes it real. It means you're acknowledging the worst thing you've ever done, and, while you've done some terrible things, this was different. This was personal. And it hurt. More than anything.

"You did something." Rex's voice is soft, and gentle, and there's no judgement, only understanding. You don't deserve it. You know you don't. But it's hard to ignore the warmth that fills your chest. You nod, not trusting yourself to speak. "What was it?"

“It wasn’t intentional. It wasn't like I'd planned to do it. It just...happened," you explain. Your hands shake slightly, and you curl them into fists to steady them. "Obi-Wan and I had an argument, and I stormed out. I went off alone to the Undercity, and I was angry, and hurt, and...and I wasn't paying attention."

"You weren't paying attention?" Rex repeats, his brow furrowed. He sits forward, his eyes narrowed, and his mouth is a tight line. "What do you mean? You weren't paying attention to what?"

"I let my guard down," you tell him. You hesitate, and then continue. "I should've known someone would be after me. After what happened. But I was too busy trying to figure out what to do next that I didn't even think..." 

You trail off and close your eyes. You can feel the tears threatening to spill over. You open your eyes and force yourself to meet his. "I was tricked into entering a trap. By the time I realized it was a set-up, it was too late.

"I found some of Yaddle’s things planted there, and then I was attacked. They used the Force to restrain me," you say evenly. "They put me in a chokehold somehow. I couldn't move or speak or fight back. They told me that I should've stayed away. And then, they..."

Your throat closes and your chest tightens as the memory flashes across your mind, as fresh as the day it happened. You can feel the cold, damp air of the Undercity, the pressure around your neck, the sound of their voice in your ear, the taste of blood in your mouth. 

The rage and fear and shame are just as strong as they were back then, and you have to clench your hands into fists to stop them from shaking, the urge to scream and break something almost overwhelming. You take a few seconds to calm yourself, and when you speak again, your voice is hoarse.

"They tried to kill me," you say. "And something inside me…clicked. A power I didn’t know I had. I lost control. I nearly collapsed a building on us both. The attacker escaped." 

You pause and take another deep breath. "I don't remember much after that. I was barely conscious. All I could think about was getting out. I don't know how I made it back to the Temple. I only found out later that some civilians were caught in the collapse."

Rex doesn't respond. His jaw is clenched, his mouth set, and his eyes are focused on you. You’re taken aback by his reaction, the force of it a surprise. You had expected sympathy or concern. Pity, maybe. But not anger.

"What?" you ask.

"How long ago was this?" 

“I was twenty, so...about ten years ago."

"Ten years," Rex repeats, his expression darkening. "You've been carrying this around for ten years?"

You sit back and fold your arms across your chest, watching him. You can’t help but feel defensive, and more than a little irritated.

"You seem upset."

"You almost died," he snaps. He lets out a huff and shakes his head. "Someone set a trap for you, and you almost died."

"That's generally what happens when you're careless." You try to keep your tone light, but the look he gives you is fierce. His eyes are hard and cold, his jaw tight, and his shoulders are tense. He's furious. You frown. "You're not mad at me, are you?"

"What?" Rex asks. He blinks, and his face softens slightly. "No. No, I'm not angry with you. I'm just...concerned."

"You don't need to be."

"I think I do," he counters, and he leans forward, his eyes searching your face. “Who was it? The person who attacked you?"

"I don't know," you say honestly. "I never saw their face. But I have a few theories that I’m still trying to confirm."

"Any suspects?"

"One."

"Care to elaborate?"

"Maybe."

Rex's frown deepens, and he leans back, his expression wary. "What aren't you telling me?"

"A lot." You shrug, and he rolls his eyes, which makes you smile. "I'm not trying to be coy. There's just a lot of information that isn't relevant to the current situation. Or your job."

"I disagree."

"You would," you scoff. You sit back and cross your arms over your chest. "Look, this is...really hard for me, okay? And I'm not exactly eager to relive the whole thing. Especially with someone who could easily report me."

"I wouldn't," he says, quick and earnest, and his brow furrows. “I gave you my word, and I intend to keep it. But, if there's someone out there who wants you dead, we should be aware."

"There are a lot of people who want me dead," you reply with a huff of laughter. “That comes with being a Jedi. We tend to piss people off."

"This was personal," Rex argues. He sits forward, his eyes narrowed, and his hands folded on the table. "You said the attacker told you that you should've stayed away. They knew you."

"I did."

"Which means they're likely connected to your investigation into Master Yaddle's death," he points out. “Potentially even the murderer themself.”

"Maybe."

"So who do you think it was?"

You give him a long, hard look, and he meets your gaze. His eyes are unflinching, and his jaw is set. He's not going to back down. And, even though you know you shouldn't, you can't help but admire him for it. He's stubborn and tenacious, and it's hard to refuse him. Harder than you'd like to admit.

You sit forward, folding your hands in front of you, and your voice drops to a low whisper. “Dooku.”

"Count Dooku?" Rex repeats. He blinks, and his eyes widen. He glances around, leaning forward and keeping his voice low. "Are you serious?"

"Yes."

"Dooku," he whispers. His mouth sets in a grim line, and he shakes his head. "That's...that's a pretty serious accusation."

"I know." You sigh and lean back, running a hand through your hair. "Look, I've had a lot of time to think about it, and it makes sense. Dooku has the resources and the ability. Plus, he has a personal connection to Yaddle, and he was missing from the funeral the night she died, despite Qui-Gon being his Padawan. The only thing I’m still shaky on is the motive.”

"That's a solid theory,” he admits, his tone resigned, as he rubs the scar on his chin with his thumb. “On Geonosis, you wanted to go after him. I stopped you.”

“Yeah, well, it turned out to be a good call." You snort and shake your head. “If I had, I'd be dead. He probably would've killed me before I even got close."

"Still," he insists. He takes a deep breath, and he studies your face. "So what happened next?"

"Next? I tried to forget it ever happened. And, for a while, I succeeded," you answer. You can't keep the bitterness out of your voice. "I didn't tell anyone. Not the Council, not Obi-Wan. Nobody."

"Why not?"

"Because I didn't have proof. I had a necklace and a few vague memories."

You shrug, and he raises an eyebrow, clearly not convinced. You let out a frustrated sigh, and you drop your gaze to the table.

"It was easier, alright? I was afraid. If I told them the truth of what happened, and the power I used, they'd send me away," you confess. You pick at your nails, and your voice is quiet. "The Council was already looking for a reason to get rid of me. If they found out what I'd done, that I'd nearly killed civilians, even if it was an accident...I’d have been expelled or sent to rot in the Citadel."

"They'd do that?"

"Without hesitation," you tell him. "They're not exactly big on second chances when it comes to the Dark Side. And they were already convinced I was going to fall."

"That's absurd."

"Is it?" You glance up at him and smirk. "They were right, in the end."

"Don't say that."

"Why not? It's true."

"No, it isn't."

"Rex—"

"No," he says firmly. He reaches out and gently tugs your hands away from where they're picking at your nails, and he squeezes once before dropping them. "Whatever happened, whatever you did, it doesn't define you. You're a good person."

You bite the inside of your cheek and shake your head. "I’d hold your applause until the end."

"I'm serious."

"So am I," you snap. You sit forward, your hands curling into fists. "You're acting like I didn't do anything wrong, or that I'm somehow an innocent party in all this. I’m not. What I did was terrible. And the consequences were severe."

"I understand, but—"

"You don't," you say flatly. "You can't."

He opens his mouth, and you hold up a hand, stopping him. You take a deep breath and close your eyes, forcing yourself to calm down.

"Sorry," you murmur. You rub a hand over your face and shake your head. "This is a lot harder than I thought."

"You don't have to explain anything," Rex says quietly. His voice is warm and soothing, and when you look up, his eyes are kind. He offers a small smile, and you try your best to return it.

"I know. But I want to."

"Are you sure?"

"No," you sigh. "But I'm doing it anyway."

Rex nods, and you let out a breath. You can feel the anger and shame and guilt still simmering below the surface, but it's tempered by his reassurance. 

"So," you continue. "Where were we?"

"After the attack," he answers, his eyes on your face.

"Right. Well, things were...awkward, to say the least," you admit as look out the window. "For a while, no one would talk to me. They avoided me, or looked the other way, or pretended not to see me. Which was fine, I guess. I wasn't exactly keen on talking to anyone either."

"What about General Kenobi?"

"Obi-Wan? No. Not really." You hesitate, and then you shake your head. “Actually, no. Not at all. He didn't say a word to me."

"That doesn't sound like him," Rex remarks.

"No, it doesn't," you agree. You can't hide your bitterness, and Rex seems to notice.

"Did he say why?"

"Not at first. We didn't really speak to each other for the next decade, actually," you say, your tone dry. "We kept our distance. He was busy training Anakin, and I was busy..."

"Busy what?"

"Busy trying not to lose my mind," you answer, your voice hollow. You swallow hard, and force yourself to look him in the eye. "The isolation was hard. No one wanted anything to do with me, and I was...paranoid. I thought everyone was watching me. Waiting for me to slip up. So I kept my head down. I did my duty. I served, I waited.”

"Waited for what?"

"An opportunity." You let out a slow breath, and you can't stop the bitterness from seeping into your words. "Turns out, that opportunity was the Clone Wars. You know what happened on Geonosis, but later, before we were…reunited, I was sent on a mission. I encountered the man who lured me into the trap, and, when I realized it was him, I...lost control. Again."

"You lost control." Rex frowns, his eyes narrowing. He leans forward, his hands on the table, his gaze locked on yours. "What happened?"

“I left my charge to track him down. He didn’t have much to offer, just that he was paid anonymously to lure me into the Undercity." You rub your temples, the memory flashing through your mind. "While I was interrogating him, the Senator that I was protecting was attacked. 

“I hurt people that day saving her, and when I returned to Coruscant, the Council decided that enough was enough. They suspended me from duty and placed me under constant supervision. I was a liability, and an embarrassment. They told me that, if I continued to act like a child, I would be treated like one."

"That's harsh."

"It was fair," you say, and he scoffs. "They didn't trust me. I didn't trust myself. I was angry and reckless and out of control, and I hurt the people I was supposed to protect. The only way I could protect anyone was by staying out of the field and away from the war. I'd failed. I'd let my emotions get the best of me, and it had almost cost me everything."

"That doesn't make it right," he argues. "What you did, losing control, it was an accident. They shouldn't have treated you like a criminal."

"I was a danger," you remind him. “And the Order can’t afford to have unstable Jedi. It's our job to maintain order and peace. We can't do that if we can't control ourselves."

"You weren't dangerous. You weren't unstable," he argues. He takes a deep breath, and when he speaks again, his voice is softer. "You were scared. I may not be a Jedi, but I know what fear does. It's a survival instinct. And, sometimes, the body does things to protect itself that the mind doesn't understand. You weren't in control of yourself. It was an accident."

"It doesn't matter," you reply. You sigh and run a hand through your hair, a wave of exhaustion washing over you. “We’re supposed to be able to control ourselves. Our feelings, our actions, our thoughts. We're trained to use the Force, it's not supposed to be the other way around. What I did...what happened...it was wrong. And it can’t happen again. Not ever."

Rex falls silent, his brow furrowed, his eyes fixed on your face. After a moment, he nods, and he sits back in his chair, letting out a long breath. 

"Okay."

"Okay?" you repeat incredulously. "That's all you're going to say?"

"Yes," he answers. His mouth twitches, and his eyes meet yours. "What did you expect me to say?"

"I don't know," you confess, and you can feel a small grin forming. "Kinda expected you to lecture me, honestly. Maybe argue with me a little bit more."

"Do you want me to?" Rex asks, the corner of his mouth turning up in a wry grin when you roll your eyes. "Because I can. You seem to enjoy arguing with me."

"It is fun," you admit, and his lips curve into a full-blown smile, his eyes sparkling. "And you are good at it."

"That might be the nicest thing you've ever said to me."

"Don't let it go to your head."

"Too late." He chuckles, and it's such a genuine sound that you can't help but join him. The tight knot in your chest loosens slightly, and you let out a breath, a wave of relief washing over you.

You feel lighter, as though a weight has been lifted from your shoulders. There's a quiet calm in the air, and you allow yourself a moment to relax. You can't help the small flutter in your chest when Rex’s eyes meet yours, his smile bright.

He looks younger when he smiles, the stress and tension gone from his face. You like seeing him this way. Happy and relaxed. It suits him.

"Thank you. For trusting me,” Rex says, voice soft and sincere.

"Well, thank you for listening." You take a drink of caf and smile at him over the rim of your cup. "And thank you for not judging me."

He shakes his head. "You don't need my judgement. You're doing enough of that yourself."

"I am not," you protest. He raises an eyebrow, and you scoff. "Okay, maybe I am. But only because it's true."

"Maybe," he says. "But, if you don't mind me saying, it's also unnecessary."

"I do mind,” you mutter. "I was reckless and arrogant and stupid, and a lot of people got hurt because of it. Including me."

"You made a mistake." He shrugs, and his smile fades, his expression becoming serious. "Everyone does. That doesn't make you a bad person. Or a bad Jedi."

"Then what does that make me?"

"Human."

You snort, and you take a long sip of caf, trying not to roll your eyes. Rex chuckles and ducks his head. "All right, that was cheesy, I'll admit. But it's true. That's what makes us different from droids. We're flawed. We make mistakes. It's how we learn."

"Some of us more than others."

"True."

"You're being too nice to me," you tell him, only half-joking. You finish your caf and set the mug on the table, folding your hands in your lap. "You're making me uncomfortable."

"I'm not," he argues. He tilts his head, studying you. "I'm being honest."

"Same difference."

Rex huffs, exasperated, and his eyes roll up. "Why does everything have to be a fight with you?"

"It doesn't," you say. You smile, and it's a real one. "Just most things."

He starts to reply, but FLO returns before he can, rolling to a stop beside the table with a tray floating beside her. It's overflowing with food, and the smell is incredible. Your mouth waters. You're hungrier than you realized.

"Here you go," she chirps. She lowers the tray onto the table, and she starts unloading the plates. Rex's eyes are as wide as yours, and the both of you sit in stunned silence, watching as the diner droid arranges the food with a flurry of mechanical arms. "This is the breakfast platter, the lunch platter, and the dinner platter. Enjoy."

"FLO, wait," you call, but the droid is already rolling away. "There's way too much food here."

"Not a problem," she says cheerfully. She stops and turns around, her mechanical arms whirring. "Anything for you, honey. You just let me know if you need anything else."

"Thank you," you say, smiling. She lets out a pleased beep and rolls away, leaving you alone with Rex and more food than either of you could possibly eat. "Wow."

"Wow," Rex echoes. He's staring at the table, his eyes wide, and you're pretty sure you've rendered him speechless. He shakes his head, his mouth hanging open, and he meets your eyes. "Is it always like this here?"

"I mean, yeah, but this is a lot, even for her," you say. You glance at the tray and let out a low whistle. "She must really like you."

"Lucky me," he mutters, and you snort. He frowns at the pile of food, his brow furrowed, and he glances at you. "So, how are we doing this?"

"You need a strategy for everything, Captain?” 

"No."

"Then stop stalling," you tease, and he fixes you with a flat look. "Just try what looks good. If we can't eat it, she'll pack it up. Don't worry."

"Right," he says. He hesitates, and you roll your eyes and snatch a slice of toast from the plate. "How are we splitting this?"

"I don't know. You pick first, and I'll grab whatever's left." You take a bite of the toast, and Rex gives you a long look. You shrug, your mouth full. "What?"

"Nothing."

"Then quit looking at me and eat."

He sighs, but he reaches for a bowl, and for a few minutes, the two of you eat in companionable silence. You keep an eye on Rex, watching him from the corner of your eye as he tries everything FLO has given him. His expression is thoughtful, and he takes his time, trying to decide what he likes best. He's savoring every bite, and every time he takes a sip of caf, his face relaxes, his shoulders sagging. 

It's kind of endearing, in a weird sort of way. And, as you watch him, a small, traitorous part of your mind wonders if it'd be so bad to have this every day. This quiet. This calm. You quickly banish the thought, and you shove another piece of bread in your mouth.

You can't think like that. You can't allow yourself to become attached.

You don't realize you've been staring until Rex looks up, catching your eye. His cheeks flush and he puts down his fork.

"Sorry," he says, a little sheepishly. He gestures vaguely at the food. "I didn't mean to—"

"Don't be sorry," you cut in. You shake your head, and the words come out without your permission. "It's cute."

Rex's eyebrows shoot up, and he lets out a short, sharp laugh, the corner of his mouth turning up in a half-smile. "Cute?"

"Yes," you say, and you try to sound confident, but you can't quite keep the edge of embarrassment out of your voice. You duck your head and take a bite of fruit, keeping your gaze focused on the table. "Relax. You're fine."

"If you say so."

"I do."

You can feel him watching you, and you resist the urge to hide behind your hands. Instead, you take another bite, and you're careful not to look at him, afraid you'll make things even more awkward than they already are. You can still feel his eyes on you, and the heat rises in your cheeks, your ears burning.

"So," you start, the silence suddenly unbearable. "Any big plans while you're on shore leave? Aside from eating.

"Not really," he admits. He takes a long drink, and he leans back in his seat. "I was just going to rest, honestly. Catch up on reports. Maybe spend some time in the sims."

"You can't just spend a day relaxing?" you ask. He shrugs, and you can't help but smile. "What do you do for fun?"

"Fun?"

"Yeah." You gesture vaguely in the air, and you tilt your head, watching him. "Like, something that doesn't involve work."

"Oh." Rex frowns and stares at the table. His expression is thoughtful, and you get the sense that no one's ever asked him that question before. He meets your eyes and shrugs. "I don't know. I read, sometimes. Watch the holonet. Train. Nothing exciting."

"You like to read?"

"I like to learn," he says. He gives you a half-grin, and he picks up his fork, poking at the scrambled eggs on his plate. "You can learn a lot from military history. And there's not much else to do on a starship other than train or sleep. Reading's a good way to pass the time."

"Fair point."

"What about you?"

"Me?"

"Yeah," he says. "What do you do when you're not on duty?"

"Honestly? The same thing as you," you confess. He snorts, and you shrug. "I'm not exactly a social butterfly, if you haven't noticed. Most of my free time is spent in the library, or the Temple gardens."

"I have noticed."

"Well, there you go."

Rex smiles, and he shifts in the booth, stretching out his legs. His knees brush yours under the table, and you ignore the rush of warmth that courses through your veins. It's strange. He's wearing armor, and the touch should be cold, hard, uncomfortable. Instead, it's the opposite. His armor is warm and solid and sturdy. Comforting, even. 

You shift your legs away from his. You need to stop.

"Tell me," you start, and Rex glances up. He's still smiling, and he's watching you intently. You gesture at the empty plate in front of him. "Was that better or worse than the rations?"

"Better," he answers immediately. He grins, and his eyes meet yours, soft and bright. "Definitely better."

"Good." You smile back, and you can't help but be proud. Your foot nudges his under the table. "I'm glad."

"Thanks for this," he says, nodding towards the tray of food. His gaze meets yours, and his voice is warm and sincere. "For bringing me here. It's...it's nice."

"Of course," you say. You duck your head and try to ignore the sudden rush of warmth in your chest. You swallow hard and focus on the table, pushing down the feeling. "We can come back again, if you want. There's plenty more I can show you. If you're interested."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah."

"Okay," he says. His smile is gentle, and he tilts his head. "I'd like that."

"Me, too," you say. You smile back at him, and his lips twitch. His foot nudges yours, and, this time, you don't move away.

The rest of the meal passes quickly. You finish eating, and the two of you sit for a while longer, chatting about everything and nothing until the sun begins to dip lower behind the buildings towering over you.

Eventually, though, it's time to leave. You pay for the food, ignoring Rex's protest with a quip about the Republic’s illimitable pocketbook, and you head outside into the late afternoon sun. The street is busy, filled with the bustle and noise of people going about their lives, and the two of you stand on the sidewalk, unsure of what to do next.

"So," Rex starts, and he rocks back on his heels, his hands clasped behind his back. He looks awkward, almost nervous. "I guess I should go."

"Yeah," you say, and, despite the fact that you've been telling yourself all day that this is a bad idea, your heart sinks. You gesture vaguely toward the Temple looming in the distance. "Me too. I've got some things I should probably deal with."

"Right."

The silence stretches between the two of you, and neither one of you moves. After a few seconds, Rex clears his throat, and he meets your eyes.

"Thank you again. For bringing me here," he says, his voice soft. "And for the food."

"Don't mention it," you reply with a small smile.

You look down at the ground and kick at a stray stone, trying to bury the sudden pang of sadness. You'd had fun. More fun than you'd had in a long time, but you're not naive enough to believe that this is something that can happen again. Your schedules are far too erratic, and you're not sure you can trust yourself around him. The brief physical contact is already beginning to wear on your resolve. 

"I'll see you later then," you tell him, forcing a casual tone.

"Later," he agrees. 

He takes a step forward and hesitates. For half a second, you think he might hug you, which is a ridiculous thought. He wouldn't. And you certainly wouldn't let him. But there's something in the way he's looking at you, the way his eyes flick down to your lips, the way his hands flex at his sides. 

For a moment, everything feels frozen. Neither of you move, and neither of you speak. The noise of the crowd seems distant, and the world falls away. It's just the two of you, standing there, waiting. Waiting for something, anything.

And then Rex nods stiffly, his hands resting on his hips, and he takes a step back. "Take care, sir."

"You too, Captain."

You turn and walk away.

When you finally make it back to your room in the Temple, you flop down onto your bed, your head buried in the pillow. You let out a long sigh and close your eyes, the sound of Rex's voice still ringing in your ears. 

He'd been kind and charming and sweet, and he'd listened to you and laughed with you and made you smile. And, for a brief moment, you'd forgotten all about the war, the Order, and everything else. You'd just existed.

It was stupid. You were stupid.

But you'd had fun.

It'd been nice.

Really, really nice.

"Shit," you mumble into your pillow. You roll over and stare up at the ceiling, and you groan.

This is going to be harder than you thought it would be.

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[moonshynecybin]

i need some post-reconciliation head canons from you. first of all when and where could it happen? i'm curious about what's the trigger in your mind that helps those emotional impaired guys to reach out to each other. also do some topics of contentions come back in their fights? (like marc forgot to unload the dishwasher then it turns into a whole thing)

it depends on the scenario doesnt it... theres so much to consider. is vale having a post-racing crisis? is MARC having a post-racing crisis? are they in a situation where theyre forcibly reminded of how much they like each other? does vale have to look at the simple joy of marc's smile and reckon with that, day after day? what happens if covid doesnt happen and they dont spend all that time apart, and theyre still bumping elbows np press conferences? if marc doesnt get injured? if marc's injury is WORSE and if he races down retiring too young? if it looks like he wont make it? what does all that do to vale and good LORD what does that do to marc....

like. because they ARENT reconciled its hard 2 tell, but i think it would have to take one of two primary modes-- acute and sudden, or slow and gradual as the sea. high melodrama screaming fighting sex in back rooms and ducati racing closets while marc bites at the skin of vale's jaw and feels INSANE that every bit of him feels the same as it did when he was twenty-two and vale wrestles down the feeling in his chest like hes at a WWE match, OR. vale waking up with marc's head on his chest and wondering. ah. how did we get here? as morning light filters in through the window.... coming together so slowly and naturally that he didnt even really know it was happening until it happened, delicate and gun-shy and sweet.... not really letting themselves/each other believe that theyre going to fall back in love (they were always in love.... marc to alex like badidearightoliviarodrigo.mp3.gov) but doing so nonetheless !!!!!

[buckgasms]

Hi, I have been absolutely loving your blog, mostly the Daddy!Bucky & Princess stories (but let’s be honest who doesn’t love Bucky 🥰😂!) and I was wondering about something..

I had my birthday recently and was wondering how the 2 of them would celebrate? U can make it as fluffy or smutty as u would like, and it’s okay if it takes a while for u to write, I have one every year so it will be close enough to each of them 😉

Keep up the good work and I cant wait to see more of your stories and imagination come to life 🥰

First of all @nicoline1998enilocin I am so sorry! This request is so old it's probably almost your birthday again 🫣 but I kept it in my inbox because I really love it and I wanted to do it justice, which hopefully is done for you today.

And also, happy birthday 🎂🎈 thank you for preempting my uselessness and for sending in a lovely ask!

So let's start with Bucky's birthday:

- You try your absolute best to wake up first so you can give him birthday head but I feel like he would also be happy at waking you up too.

- Either way it's an X-rated morning lol.

- You managed to sneak out of his arms long enough to rush out to the kitchen and grab the pretty cakes you made the day before.

- He appears in the living room to find you sitting amongst his presents, a little cupcake and a candle lighting up your pretty face.

- Kneeling down he looks at you for a moment before blowing out his candle. He cups your cheek in a warm hand and pulls you in for a kiss.

- I'm not sure what you'd get for a criminal CEO who has everything but you manage to get him some lovely gifts.

- Stationery is always good, and some books. Maybe a nice watch? Shirts? Sunglasses?

- Plus you have a few little bags filled with pretty lingerie and toys that you figured he would enjoy.

- The present unwrapping ends with him cuddling you and kissing you all over, snuggling up as he thanks you for all the wonderful gifts.

- But you are the best gift he's ever had.

- I feel like there would also be an unspoken agreement that any time the birthday boy wants to have his princess, he gets her.

- Doesn't matter where you are, or what's happening. He just grabs you, pins you down or presses you up against a wall and takes what's his.

- Without knowing when it's happening you spend the day in a state of giddy excitement and desire.

🎂

- Daddy is the kinda guy who does big parties, but actually hates them when they are happening.

- He spends a bit of time chatting to his friends, opening some gifts and eating delicious canapes, but his mind is preoccupied.

- Because of you.

- You have dressed up in a little pink dress that looks exactly like a ribbon on top of a present. And he wanted to unwrap you right then and there.

- And perhaps in fact you told him that he could? As a special birthday treat?

- He'd managed to resist so far, but now he just wants his pretty present.

- He sidles up behind you and wraps his arms around you, pressing kisses to your shoulder and neck. You giggle as he tugs gently at the end of the bow.

- Much to both of your surprises it falls off quite quickly and drops to the floor. Some of the guests notice and clap, as you giggle twirling around and pressing yourself into Bucky's chest.

- "Much better I must say" he mutters into your ear and brushes his nose along yours before stealing a kiss from you. He deepens it as your arms wrap around him, holding you close.

- People actually sigh and swoon.

- Maybe you dance a little or maybe he just waves his guests goodbye as you walk with him up the stairs to the bedroom.

🎂

Now let's talk about Princess' birthday:

- He wakes you up with kisses and surrounds you with presents on the bed.

- I also think he would get you a tiara because you are a Princess.

- All the presents are so perfect, he gets you all those little things that you have mentioned over the past few months.

- Maybe some nice jewellery, books, dresses, colouring books, a new phone? New supplies for arts and crafts? Teddy bears?

- Also he's taking you to Italy...

🎂

- He spends the day pampering you, pleasuring you and treating you like the princess that you are.

- I think he would take you out for lunch, but he'd make sure the whole restaurant was booked so you weren't disturbed.

- He's gonna fuck you right there as well because you look so beautiful and happy and he can't resist you.

- I think you have permission to come anytime you want on your birthday. All you have to do is say, "Daddddy" and bat your pretty eyelashes and he'll be there to make you feel all better.

🎂

- A similar party ensues, although probably a smaller crowd because you prefer it that way.

- You take your time opening presents, giving big hugs to all of the gifters and showing Daddy what you got.

- Despite a whole day of sex on tap, you still feel a hit desire for him. He just looks so divine and delicious.

- And he knows you are dying for him so he asks Natasha to give you your present as he drags you into his lap, pretty skirt of your dress covering your lap.

- You squeak as his hand slides up your thigh and into your underwear, rubbing and sliding into your soaked heat.

- "Just can't get enough can ya? I can feel how swollen and used this pretty cunt is Princess, and still you want more hmm? Such a good girl. God I'm so lucky..."

- His whispering all this filth in your ear as you unwrap your present. You do your absolute best to thank Natasha and focus on what she's brought you, but his fingers are curling and pressing into that magical spot inside that sends your brain into a fog.

- You basically stay like that until the party ends. Everyone gives you a birthday kiss before they leave and you smile and wave as they go.

- Leaning back on Bucky's chest you let out a little whine, as he continues to make a mess of you.

- "Ready for your last present?"

🎂

- Much like his birthday the evening will end with something very special.

- I think he'd purchase something really kinky for his birthday, and something even kinkier for yours 😂

- I also like the idea of it all being a bit silly. Like you have to sing happy birthday to him as he spanks you, and if you get distracted he starts again.

- Ooh what about those candles you can use in the bedroom?? He'd turn you into his little birthday cake, eating you out but you have to stay still otherwise you get wax on you?

- Or instead of a gag he puts a cupcake in your mouth and you have to hold it tight without eating it.

- Frosting.

- I feel like these would work for both your birthdays because let's face it, being Daddy's plaything is as much a treat for you as it is for him 💞

- But always ending in cuddles, a nice bath and a reminder of how much he loves his Princess, how his life is better with you, how lucky he is and how he wants every birthday, every day spent with you 💞

[prettypinkporkchop]

My my those eyes like fire

You put the meat inside the zip lock bag and put it in your purse. You are ready to go back out into the woods and see your wolf friend.

One day, you were in the woods upset about something when this gray wolf befriended you. At first, you were scared of the gigantic creature. But, you realized he's so kind to you. Every day, you go out there, hang out with him, and feed him.

He has become your only friend since you've lost your best friend in an accident. You two moved together to start over when tragedy struck. Now you're alone and grieving.

You get deep enough in the trees to where you know he will be. You place down your bag and cross your legs, waiting.

It doesn't take long when you hear a happy whimper and running. You turn, and the wolf is right in front of you, licking your face. You play your hands in the beautiful fur and laugh.

"Okay, okay!"

He sits down next to you, leaning into your arm. You softly pet his head and reach into your bag. His ears perk up, and he looks to see a big thing of meat.

You place it in front of him, and he starts eating it.

"So crazy my only friend is a beautiful wolf." You sigh and then scratch its back. "But I don't mind. I know you won't hurt me." You smile.

The wolf finishes eating and lays its head in your lap. You play with its ears and run your fingers through his neck. He seems to love it as he's trying to keep his eyes open.

"Maybe I should name you?" You giggle.

The wolf opens its eyes, stands in front of you, and keeps his dark brown eyes on yours. Every time you look into this big boys eyes, you feel a connection. You don't have room at home for a whole ass wolf! And Forks probably has a law for that, lol.

"How long can we sit out here today, huh?" You ask as if it would answer. But you always leave when he does.

The wolf places its pay on your knee. You put your hand over the paw. Then, a howl is heard. Followed by another one. The wolf backs away, running a bit forward, howling back, and then runs away.

You stand up, dust off your pants, and go back home.

------

You just got off work, and now you're back in the woods. Hopefully, the wolf will come see you at this time. It's only during the day that you two visit. But right now, you don't want to be home. You're scared of the dark and being alone in the woods, but at this very moment, you just want to not hurt anymore.

You plop down on the ground and start crying. You hope he comes to you.

You end up falling asleep.

"Wake up." A deep voice in your head says.

You jolt awake and notice the gray wolf is lying next to you. When you woke up, it woke him up. He lifts his head and whimpers.

"I'm okay." You sniffle and cuddle into him. But once you do that, he gets up and looks at you.

"What?" You ask.

He stomps his feet and huffs.

"Oh, you're right. I should be in bed, huh?" You giggle and stand up. You start to walk out of the forest but see he is behind you.

"AWE, my guardian." You keep walking, and he doesn't leave your side.

You get home, and he runs off.

"Bye, friend." You mutter.

-----

Another day in the woods, it's a different time like yesterday. You're feeling awfully cold. You feel like you aren't alone, but maybe you're just tripping. It's okay, wait for the wolf.

A hand grips around your neck from behind. It was the coldest hand you've ever felt. It lifts you up and you meet piercing red eyes.

"Who are you?" She smirks at you.

Her grip is too tight for you to speak. Her long and curly red hair is blowing in the wind.

She breathes in, closing her eyes. She opens them and smirks at you.

"Wow, you smell so good."

Your eyes start getting blurry due to your breathing being constricted.you see tiny black dots.

"Victoria, put her down, now." You hear in the distance.

You're dropped to the ground, coughing. You look up and see three different wolves chasing her down.

You sit, trying to compose yourself when the familiar wolf sits next to you. His paw reaches up and softly lands on your back. You lean into him on instinct and cry. The wolf huffs, leaving behind the trees. You hear rustling, and you stare up at the high rocks and trees. Soon, a young man that you find to be the most attractive person ever steps out and looks down at you. (THE GIF ABOVE IS WHAT YOU SEE PLZ SAVE ME).

Before you can say anything, a few howls are heard. He looks back down and then runs off.

-----

You sit on your porch, drinking some wine, thinking about everything that just happened. If only you could call your best friend to tell her.

Your glass is empty, and grab the wine bottle next to you. You move the little bit left at the bottom. "No wonder I'm so tipsy." You sigh.

"You know it's never good to drink that much." You jump and look up to see the guy in the woods. He walks closer to your porch, putting one foot on the step and looking down at you.

You scoff and look down. "Did you see what happened back there?"

"I did. Are you okay?" He sits.

"I guess. I'm just so confused. So over it." You sigh.

"We killed her. She uh.. that was a vampire. Her name is Victoria."

You laugh in distress and nod your head, "Yeah let's keep adding on to crazy. Wolves and vampires?" You down the last bit of the bottle.

"I'm Embry. I'm the wolf. Every day I had to see you." He looks into your eyes.

You realize he wasn't lying because of his eyes. It's the wolf. You feel how he makes you feel.

"That's embarrassing. You know everything about me."

"No, it's not embarrassing." He moves up the steps, sitting on the porch beside you.

You sigh and lay your head on his shoulder. "I'm so tired." You sniffle.

He reaches over, holding your cheek. "Y/n, is it a good time to tell you something life changing?"

"As if my life hasn't already changed. Go ahead." You wrap your arms, pulling on his neck so your head moves closer toward his neck.

His scent is relaxing you. You feel genuine love for Embry. You don't want him to go. You're so happy that he's not just a wolf.

"I imprinted on you."

------

A FEW DAYS LATER:

Embry wraps you tighter in your blanket, holding onto you as if you could disappear. You love falling asleep with him. You love him. He loves you.

His warmth fills you up and you lift your head up looking into his eyes.

It feels like fire staring back at you. You lift your hand, touching his chin.

"Are you about to kiss me?" He asks, looking over your face and bringing his gaze down to your lips.

You slowly nod your head and lean in. He leans in, too. Next thing you two know, the gap is gone. His lips fit in yours. You push further and add your tongue. He plays with his tongue as you two mix saliva.

You throw your blanket off of you, half of it hanging off your bed. You quickly straddle his waist and hold his face.

He breathes heavily, and your heart speeds up. You want all of Embry. You want to be one.

You notice he's scared to touch you as if you're going to break like glass. You grab his hands and lower them to your bottom. He softly squeezes before flipping you over, making him on top. He smiles down at you, chuckling.

"I love you. Like... a lot. Is that weird?" He asks raising an eyebrow.

"No, because I love you."

-----

You stand next to Bella and Edward. Your mind racing as Edward enters the wolves minds.

"Embry's doing good. He's very good." He says.

Riley slowly walks up, making you and Bella jump back.

"Seth! Take her!" Edward yells.

Seth steps to you, and you jump on his back. He doesn't waste a second to start running at full speed, taking you away as Embry requested.

Seth and you sit in the woods. He shifted back to boy Seth. You two sit next to each other, picking grass.

"Sucks, I can't be in the action. But I'm glad you're safe." He nudges you.

"Yeah, it's weird that I was a target, too. It's not like I have anything to do with Bella and Edweird." You giggle.

"It's because she saw you and then wanted to attract us. Wipe us out with the Cullens. Like, okay, I do not care about your drama. Sorry, your boyfriend died?" Seth, and you burst into laughter.

-----

You grab Embry's shirt, pulling him down for a kiss. Your room is cold, but now you feel Embry's temperature.

His hands grab onto your arms, keeping you in place and kissing you back.

He won. You won.

[bomber-grl]

Grell Sutcliff Dating Hc! —☆⋆｡𖦹🖇️

Pairing(s): Grell Sutcliff x Gn!Reader

Disclaimer! I’ve only watched the anime and I’m semi aware of how she’s mischaracterized (according to others(?)) in it in comparison to the manga. So, these hc are solely based on the anime

We’ve seen how she is when she’s interested in someone and so just imagine her in an actual relationship 💀

She’s constantly fonding over you at minimum and spouting profanities you’d rather not have to hear again at most

I mean the fact you’re together is obviously because you matched her freak

Anyway, the more surface level of her personality is her constant coddling, hugs, and overall lovey dovey self

If anything it’s just her reaction to hot people which i can’t even blame😭

Now, if you’re more shy leaning Grell thinks you’re so cute

The urge to trap you in a bone crushing hug deepens immensely

However, if you’re more bold and straightforward she’ll really play into it

Again, everyone just disregards when she’s like this so she really falls head over heels x 2

And if you pick her up? Deceased x2

Obviously she’s glad to have you around for practically forever if you’re a divine being but if you’re human

The angst 😭

You’re the first person she’s every genuinely connected with and felt understood by

Especially with her identity

So I imagine you dying had crossed her mind a few times before but the thought was too painful to ever actually continue thinking it

So the day that she saw your name amongst the people she had to kill- two words

Mental breakdown

Either you choose to die by her hand or kys to become a grim reaper, literally the only solutions

It’s like that one audio where it’s like “bye Abby, I’ll see you when you wake up, and if you don’t wake up, I’ll still see you cause I’m gonna meet you in heaven or whatever

Sorry I just realized these are supposed to be relationship hc and not so gruesome 😭

Anyway, regardless of your race (?) Your relationship is still very much existent and there’s nothing grell or you could do about it

I mean I mighttt be going boarderline ooc like the the far depths sort of level but if you’re in a committed relationship and anyone alludes to you trying to leave her

Let’s just say we hope they don’t or she’ll be extra possessive to a crazy extent💀

Also if you’re constantly surrounding yourself with grell then you’re bound to interact with Ciel and his lot

So what I’m trying to say is, you’re like that one stereotypical couple with over the top PDA where it’s sickening to them

Also if you don’t like it (pda) she’ll be a bit sad but she’ll try to respect it

Now if you’re a romantic she’s constantly happy

Especially when you go out on a picnic, get her nice things and do silly things like carry her

Despite these “happier” moments there’s eventual solemn topics (like her death) that she talks about with you

I mean she’s sharing personal things with someone she trusts but it’s still nervwrecking

Also, you Can’t tell me Grell wouldn’t absolutely defend you with her life(?)

Even if it ends with her being trampled 💀