#and even if there are people i find attractive it doesn't matter
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eldritch-spouse · 1 day ago
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I was thinking about Grimbly, mostly his second form. There’s a term called gap moe in anime where an appearance to the character is the direct opposite of their personality, which adds to the appeal. If Grimbly had a Mommy that found him even cuter when he transformed perhaps you’ve been preferring the fact that he’s gotten bigger, would he be more confident or dislike it more? 
He would be baffled.
Grimbly doesn't truly believe in "gap moe", or similar concepts. Maybe it exposes some of his insecurities, but Grimbly has always thought that he needs to be physically, visibly adorable in order to be perceived and treated the way he desires.
Even if he never truly accepts his new appearance, he shifts gears, trying (and failing) to let go of the desire to be cute. Older Grimbly leans into style and elegance, transmitting an air of intimidating attractiveness that still draws people to him, but not exactly the way he likes it. They still shower him in compliments and trail after his every step in adoration, but it's just not the same. No one's doting after him or trying to protect him, it's not the same.
It's likely that, with you around, he won't believe you find him even more attractive now. He just can't wrap his head around it, going as far as to accuse you of lying in his face and mocking him during his most intense breakdowns. Naturally, he'll come to his senses later, apologizing, even if he still doesn't believe that's how you feel.
It'll take a lot of time for Grimbly to see this for what it is, the truth. People like you do exist, they'll still see and treat him the way he wishes, it's simply a community he has to find. Not that he's in a rush anymore, what really matters is that you love him, that you perceive him that way, that he can still act the same way he did before for you- Put on all the cute things and latch onto you, because even if he thinks he's too big and lanky for it now, you still pick him up and shower him in adoration like he's the most adorable thing to grace the Earth.
You're the best thing that could happen to his self-esteem.
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autistichalsin · 20 hours ago
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Today I am thinking of my favorite fluff scenario of my favorite rarepair
Halsin, taking care of the owlbear egg the tadfools found. Lae'zel, taking care of the Githyanki egg. Both sitting quietly together, minding their little unhatched charges, offering each other tips or asking questions. What will they name them? What will they do during the final battle? What about after all this?
Halsin gets to see Lae'zel's softer side. Lae'zel gets to see how Halsin's Druidic skills are useful for those moments outside of battle- moments she rarely thinks about at all.
Halsin falls for Lae'zel first. He's softer and tenderhearted and he sees things in Lae'zel that others don't, maybe that she herself doesn't (want to) see. He can appreciate the positive traits even in his polar opposite.
Lae'zel falls second, but she falls way harder. She's taken off-guard at the little realizations. At how there's a feeling of emptiness inside her when Halsin isn't there. At how she enjoys his prattling when they're tending their eggs. At how she admires the strength of his bear form. At how she finds herself starting to ask about his past. At how, despite not caring any more for the orphans of the city than she did before, she finds herself trying to keep them safe because it means so much to Halsin. She gives them gold or food, fights off the adults trying to harm them, and tries to ignore that really strange feeling in her chest when Halsin smiles appreciatively at her.
Sex happens before feelings are confessed, because Lae'zel is still guarded as she sorts her feelings out, and Halsin is following her lead, but both know how to be very direct about attraction. Lae'zel takes the bear twice- both in a fight and in a different sense. She sees it as a challenge. She conquers both.
It's an unspoken thing when they get together. It just sort of happens. Halsin spends more time at Lae'zel's tent until he starts falling asleep/into reverie there on accident, and then they just sort of never stop, never acknowledging it. "Lae'zel's tent" becomes "Lae'zel and Halsin's tent." Instead of trying to find Halsin at his tent when they need advice or healing, the others come right to Lae'zel's tent. Lae'zel starts feeling territorial over Halsin in ways she can't explain and starts getting irritated until she finds little ways to assert her claim. Scent is a big one. Dominance in bed is another. She aches to possess him but knows his nature won't let her do it as completely as she wants. She settles for her internal knowledge that no matter how many people he beds, she'll still be his favorite. And that's a rush of its own; if she's the only, she's the best by default, but this way, she truly earns the title.
It's a weird little thing and the others are absolutely baffled that they're together. They ask Lae'zel, doesn't she find Halsin's kindness weak? Lae'zel retorts that Halsin's strength is such that he can afford to be an idealist do-gooder when his other advantages compensate for it, even if she would like to see him stop expending and endangering himself needlessly. They ask Halsin if Lae'zel is too rough for him, too uncaring, and Halsin simply says that there is something refreshing about being with someone so direct, and that her utilitarianism aligns nicely with his own aversion to comfort, even if he would like to see her start to see the weak as people to protect instead of people to scorn. The team are still mystified, but genuinely happy for them.
The biggest difficulty comes after the brain is defeated. They're both able to continue caring for each other from so far away, but they feel the loss of company and miss each other. Halsin promises Lae'zel there's a spot at the commune waiting for her, no matter how long her efforts to help her people take. Lae'zel sees no appeal in settling down for such a boring life, but does see the appeal in being in Halsin's presence again. And she does concede that if his charges are to have any chance in life, they'll need the strongest Githyanki of all teaching and training them, so maybe, for Halsin, she could find it in her to come one day. As soon as her people know peace. Halsin just smiles and promises her he is a very, very patient man- which of course Lae'zel already knows, because that's how they've gotten to where they are.
IDK I just have a lot of feelings about a ship that maybe two people tops ship besides me lol
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d1anna · 1 month ago
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waaaaaaaaaaaaa
#working on a campaign team for student government and doing outreach right now and though ive been in contact with these groups before on my#own before just going to their meetings sometimes#so many people and so many of the organizers themselves talk about progressive policies and what not but none of them mention covid#most of the leadership don't even wear masks or encourage people to wear masks (sometimes but that's very on occasion) even though covid an#flu are spreading quickly throughout campus (like it always does but it's worse rn because it's spring and first few weeks of school)#i just wish more people in these circles would practice what they preach and actually do the brave thing instead of talking about needing i#wearing the mask is a brave thing and it is a revolutionary thing (apparently!!! though it shouldn't be) but they can't even do that#it's so hard for me to like have faith in them to be able to commit to their agendas as organizations if they cant even consider the health#of other people#also it's just lonely#none of my friends mask and i only see one often and she graduated and she isn't around that many people anymore so i feel a bit safer but#like i can't even think abt dating lmao or even think about doing normal things with people my age because of this#it genuinely doesn't even matter if i have people who do want me because none of them wear masks#and even if there are people i find attractive it doesn't matter#i feel like i can't morally be with them because those people don't wear masks you know!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#i know i'm in a technically better position because i'm not immunocompromised or physically disabled so i don't have as much a risk#(though long covid is disabling!!) but it's just tiring and i got tired of being angry a long time ago so now i'm just like sad#i'm starting to feel like i would accept someone into my circle platonically or otherwise if they just started masking once they noticed#i was without questioning me or asking for my excuse as to why i still do#AND YET!! that bar is weirdly so high#it's just looking like i'll never find anyone lol#dianna.moon
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colourofthekites · 9 months ago
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I'm getting myself worked up over the potential dismissal of Benedict's queerness again. I just you can't have him say something as important as "I think I just have love in abundance" in the context of him just being in a bisexual threesome and not do anything with that.
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musical-chick-13 · 3 months ago
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:) :) :) :) :)
#if anyone. ANYONE. even people who condemn Vigilante Justice and talk about [xyz thing that was apparently wrong with him]#straight-up openly thirsts over the shooter and talks about how hot they think he is on a personal preference level#I am blocking you and never speaking to you again.#is this petty? yeah probably. almost definitely.#but I've earned the right to be petty after seeing all these fuck-ass awful takes on literally every subject imaginable#we NEED to put more '''''ugly''''' people in public positions this is actually IMPERATIVE#the fucking leeway you will give ANY white man who you think is attractive jesus FUCKING christ#it doesn't matter!!!! how you look is a morally neutral thing!!!!!!! most people are not '''''hot''''' actually!!!!!!!!!!!!!#get a hobby!!!!! worry about something actually meaningful for once!!!!!!!!!!!#find a fictional character who's horrible instead!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#oh I forgot. we can't like horrible fictional constructs for any reason that's bad. we can stan literally anyone irl though.#murderers. fundamentalists. abusers. dictators. the guy formerly known as bren------s.#THAT'S all fine.#I can't believe I'm going to say this. I hate this phrase and I think more often than not it is used in very bad faith but: SOOOOOO many of#you for real need to go out and touch grass#like for your own self-preservation#and for the sanity of the rest of us#current events#tw: guns#my God I have blocked and unfollowed more people in the past month than like. the entirety of my almost-eight-years here probably#UGH. good-BYE#(once again asking myself if I should legit just deactivate but I would lose touch with a few people and also access to some of my#beloved fandom communities)
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molsno · 3 months ago
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I don't know which trans girl needs to hear this but you don't need to have sex ever if you don't want to. no matter who your partner is. if the thought of having sex makes you feel anxious or uncomfortable, or even if you're just not in the mood for it, you don't have to. it doesn't matter if your partner really wants it or if they'd feel insecure that you don't find them attractive or whatever, you can just say no. don't let anyone pressure you into sex that you don't want. you are not a sex object made to please other people. you deserve to have your boundaries and sexual autonomy respected, and that includes the right to have no sex whatsoever, if that's what you want.
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sunderwight · 9 months ago
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Headcanon that Shen Yuan was hotter than Shen Qingqiu, actually.
Like yeah SQQ being a cultivator gave him a boost to enough attributes + being in a stallion novel where everyone is either unrealistic hot or dog's butt ugly got the Shen Qingqiu body extra points, and he wasn't bad looking to begin with. Plus not being ill is vastly more important to the new Shen Qingqiu than those extra hotness points (Without a Cure notwithstanding). But part of the reason why he's kind of like, meh, at least I'm not hideous or anything, is because Shen Yuan's original body was a knock out.
I also like him as chronically ill, and, as many people know, beauty standards and sustained suffering are not as incompatible as they should be. Shen Yuan was conventionally attractive in part because conventional beauty standards seem to want everyone slowly dying all the time. But even setting that aside, the man had flawless bone structure, an appealing figure, captivating eyes, and the kind of voice that stopped people in their tracks.
All of which was a contributing factor to his antisocial lifestyle, actually. Despite the fact that Shen Yuan does enjoy company and requires a certain baseline of social enrichment for his enclosure, his internalized homophobia and closeting did not play well with overtures from interested parties (regardless of gender). The only way to minimize the odds of him being asked out on dates was to essentially become a shut-in, especially since even Shen Yuan can only make so many excuses before he himself starts to notice that he's going to a lot of effort to avoid specifically that avenue of socialization. Far better to just remove himself from any risk of it, and then vocally lament that oh no he's just too much of a nerd to get anywhere with women!
Anyway this largely doesn't matter much outside of sheer comedy potential for any situation where SY gets his old body/life back. Like imagine a reveal scenario where the System is going to transport them back to their old lives.
Shang Qinghua: well bro I guess this is gonna be the ultimate test of love, right?
Shen Yuan: what do you mean?
Shang Qinghua: our husbands are gonna see what we looked like back before we were glorious cultivators! they're going to have to track us down in our mundane, kinda shitty pre-transmigration lives! it's gonna be at least a little embarrassing, right?
Shen Yuan: *gets his old body back*
Shang Qinghua, normal human with average looks: ...
Shen Yuan, exemplary 11/10: ?
Shang Qinghua: what. the fuck?? bro what the fuck why are you hot???
Shen Yuan: don't make it weird
Shang Qinghua: make it weird??? why were you sitting at home reading my shitty novel when you could have been out there building your own harem???
Shen Yuan: stop exaggerating
Shang Qinghua: oh my god you've always been like this. this is it, isn't it? it wasn't even brain damage from the transmigration or something--
Shen Yuan: hey
Shang Qinghua: --you've just always been completely unaware, haven't you? every time I wrote a beautiful woman who didn't know her own appeal you'd be jumping down my throat--
Shen Yuan: because that's a stupid trope--!
Shang Qinghua: --JUMPING DOWN MY THROAT EXACTLY LIKE THAT but this whole time THIS WHOLE TIME it wasn't even a glow-up issue, you've just been that, personified, yourself--
Shen Yuan: look I know I'm not ugly but I'm not I'm hardly that good-looking
Shang Qinghua: YOU ARE NEVER ALLOWED TO CRITICIZE THAT TROPE AGAIN! oh my god. how many broken hearts did you leave behind when you died?!
Shen Yuan: none, I wasn't even seeing anyone--
Shang Qinghua: yeah full offense but I am nottt taking your word for that. I bet you had a harem you didn't know about in this lifetime too. I bet you had a fan club, like an anime prince
Shen Yuan: *mumbling*
Shang Qinghua: what was that?
Shen Yuan: I said... only in high school...
Shang Qinghua: oh my god
Shen Yuan: it wasn't a big deal!
Shang Qinghua: *frantically trying to see if he can find any trace of it on the internet now*
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braintamer · 8 months ago
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Subtle ways to serve the patriarchy in your daily life:
1. Be respectful
When talking to strange men, always refer to them as "sir" or as a "gentleman." This may seem outdated, but some people still talk like that. It shows your respect and harkens back to a time when men were in charge and women knew their place.
2. Be polite
Always say please and thank you, even if it doesn't seem necessary. For example, instead of saying, "Hey, do you know where the restroom is?" say, "Excuse me, sir, could you please show me where the restroom is?"
3. Be dependent
If you go out with a man, let him hold your phone. He'll decide what you need to see and who you need to communicate with. If he goes through your texts and photos, that's his right.
4. Be a doll
If you go out with a man, let him choose your outfit, how you do your makeup, and your hair. Don't leave until he is completely satisfied with your appearance.
5. Dress to impress
If you go out without a man, choose makeup and an outfit based entirely on what you think men find attractive. (Unfortunately, you will have to use your brain just a little bit for this one 😥) It doesn't matter if you like it, or if it's comfortable, men's taste is your taste.
6. Be helpless
If you think you might need help with something, ask a man. Even if you think you could probably do it on your own, remember that you can't. If you're lost, don't try to use Google maps. Ask a man for help. If there's something wrong with your car, don't even try to figure out what it is, take it to a mechanic, and say, "It makes a weird noise when I do this" and let him handle everything for you (ideally you wouldn't be driving at all)
7. Be approachable
If ANY man flirts with you or compliments you, be receptive. If a dirty homeless man says you have nice tit's, smile at him and say, "Thank you, sir." If a group of men are hollering at you, stick around, give them a spin so they can see and judge every part of your body, invite them to come over and grope you.
8. Be submisive
Never talk back to a man. If a man is rude to you, be grateful for the attention and ask him what you can do to make it right.
9. Be dumb
Don't use big words, in text or in speech. If you have an idea that you don't know how to express, it's probably too complicated for you. Only read when you have to. Never try to understand current events, occupy your mind with porn. If you really need more intellectual stimulation, you can watch something like celebrity gossip news.
10. Spead the word
Subtly try to teach other women their place, compliment them on their appearance, and nothing else. Discourage them from valuing things like their education and career. Encorage them to dress more slutty, if possible get them drunk and makeout with them for men to watch.
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yougavememyopia · 3 months ago
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Tags: Manipulative masochistic yandere, mean annoyed reader, stalking, yandere behavior, isolating, cursing, hair pulling, choking, he does a lot of stuff without consent.
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"Hellooo~? There you are. I've been looking all over for you. Where have you been? Don't tell me you're avoiding me..." Your stalker whined in that annoying tone, making you roll your eyes almost instinctively. "Because I'll be really, really sad."
You shifted on the grass you were sitting on, debating on whether to stay or flee. It didn't matter. He would follow you around until you gave in and talked to him.
He sat beside you, too close for comfort. You finally looked at him as he made a small whimpering noise. You knew that indicated him crying crocodile tears if you continued your negligence. "You're driving me insane with your bullshit."
"Aww, are you getting tired of little ol' me?" He smirked. He knew you hated when he acted all cocky, so he decided to pout instead. Looking up at you with a soft, innocent look. "But... but I've done so much for your attention. Look, I even wore this pretty sweater for you."
"I don't give a shit. It's not going to change my view of you. You're a fucking nutcase. It doesn't matter what you do, I'm still gonna reject you."
His face fell. A blank look on his face. It was always scary when he showed no emotion. Like you were getting a glimpse of his true self. You shifted your gaze away, unable to control the shivers you got. Were you too harsh? He always acted so fake. You could never tell what he actually thought.
"You say that, but you'll miss me. I'm the most interesting person around!" His cute smile returned. He clasped his hands together and brought it up to his cheek. "You won't admit it because of your big ego. But I know. Under your cold exterior, there's a softie."
"If I want you around, it's not because of that. It's because of your psychological manipulation, dumbass. The love bombing? Ring a bell?"
"Ah, so you admit it! You do care about me! You want me around. I'm your favorite, right~?" He leaned his cheek into his hand. Batting his eyelashes at you to drive you more crazy. "Might as well go ahead and accept me. I'm not going anywhere. You're not going anywhere. It's meant to be!"
"Ughhh, fuck!" You cursed, slapping your forhead. He did this often; twisting your words into something totally different. "Every single fucking day. It's the same thing. You and your delusions. You won't accept my rejections."
"Then we'd never be together." He commented. He furrowed his eyebrows to show confusion, putting his hands on his lap. "We've come so far already. And I know one day, we'll finally be together! Who knows, maybe today is the day."
His head tilted, and he smiled brightly at you. The gesture making your blood boil. He knew how to act right, to seem more attractive to you. His practiced smile and the quiet mumbled voice drew you in. The weirdly submissive side of him appealed to you. As if he was waiting for you to finally take control of him.
Despite all that, you couldn't look past the creepy things he has done. There were the "coincidental" meetings he admitted to being stalking, stating how he couldn't be apart from you for so long or how he was bored without you. The small souvenirs that he collected, like your hairclip, to put on his hair, or even the bigger items that he took, like your hoodie, to wear and show how he was yours. He tried to isolate you as much as he could. Sticking close to you wherever you went. Finding sneaky ways to get rid of other people around you. His unhealthy obsession was slowly ruining your life.
You've gotten used to it all. Not fazed if he did something stupid for your attention. He tricked you into going on dates with him so many times. You were practically dating. It was hard to admit it to yourself, but you had a soft spot for him. For some weird reason, you enjoyed his company. You enjoyed playing with him. He was entertaining. Interesting.
He suddenly crawled behind you, his hands grasping your shoulders. "You're so tense." He leaned in to your ear and whispered. "You've been on edge for a few days now. Do I really scare you that much?"
You scoffed. "What do you think?"
"Please, I'm harmless! I should help you relax. Treat you to a nice massage." He began to rub your shoulders and slowly moved closer to your neck. His hands worked skillfully to press against your tensed muscles. Drawing circles and kneading your flesh. "Maybe more physical intimacy will help. Something different, perhaps?"
He took advantage of your lack of fight and relaxed state. Throwing his arms around your waist, hugging you from behind. His face nuzzled against the crook of your neck as he inhaled and breathed out a sigh. "I love your smell. I gotta buy your perfume. Well, I have your clothes, so it's kinda the same thing. I never get tired of smelling you~"
"Seriously?" You mumbled. Your skin pickled from his warm breath. The feeling of him sniffing you with his nose brushing against your sensitive skin gave you small shivers. His grip on you grew tighter as you tried to move. His grasp on you almost suffocating. You kick the grass in exasperation. "Augh... Fuck you."
"Is that a promise~?" He giggled and rubbed his nose against your neck more deliberately. "I love the way you talk to me. Always so aggressive. So passionate~ You only act this way towards me. Like I'm special to you."
"Haah..." You clenched the grass beside you. Fingers poked with their pointy heads while you hold onto your anger. "You always do what you want. I never gave you permission to hug me."
"You need it. It'll calm you down. Take away all that stress. And! And.. I give the best hugs ever." He squeezed you tight against his chest. "But if that's not working, I can always try something else. Something that feels even better."
Before you could protest, he began to kiss your neck. Placing long, soft kisses against your skin. Finding the right spots that made you shudder. "Ah...! Hey-?!?"
You struggled against him, but he was determined. Weirdly strong for his short stature. His hands pulled your shirt lower so he could have more access. Kissing along your neck to your shoulder. His tongue joined in between the pecks. It brushed over your skin, coating everywhere with saliva. He lapped at your skin, drawing a line from the bottom of your neck all the way up. Goosebumps covered your body. Your cursing and protests still being ignored.
You reached a hand up to his hair, pulling it, trying to get him to stop. "You're crazy! Let me go."
"Nngh!" He moaned out. You couldn't win with him. Anything you did, he loved. Treating him like garbage or ignoring him completely. He was utterly devoted to you. "Oh, that felt good. Do it again. But harder. Pretty please~"
"Fucking masochist. How did I end up with someone so messed up?" You tugged his hair again, more firmer this time, making him moan louder. He started doing different things to your neck, sucking and nibbling on the skin. You couldn't control the small grunting noises from spilling. "I swear, if you leave a mark, I'll choke you to death-!"
He seemed to like the threat. His movements becoming frantic. He was definitely leaving a mark. Just to despite you. "Mmh~ Feels good..." His hands started to rub under your shirt. His nails digging into your skin.
He panted against your neck as you stopped. You rubbed his scalp instead, enjoying the feeling of his soft, well-cared hair between your fingers. He nuzzled against you, hugging you loosely. "Ahh... You didn't struggle as much as I thought. Did I change your mind? Do you believe me now when I say that I won't ever leave? Oh, that reminds me. I think it's about time I move in with you."
"What the fuck are you going on about?" You sighed in annoyance. His love was driving you insane. There was so much a person could take until they compromised with the weirdo who wouldn't leave them alone.
"Oh, come on! I've been waiting forever. I'm moving my stuff in first thing in the morning."
You pushed him away with force. Pinning his shoulders to the ground and climbing on top of him. "You're makin' me really angry. I don't want you around. Why can't you get that through your thick skull?"
He chuckled, looking up at you. "I'm not giving up on us. Ever. You're stuck with me whether you like it or not. Plus, you've got nobody else to turn to, remember?"
"Ughh." Your hands close around his throat with force. "You act this way to provoke me. You enjoy this. Do you get off when I do these things to you? Hm? Is this what you want? I can't believe I actually fell for you. Good-for-nothing stalker."
He arched his back and closed his eyes, humming slightly. He was enjoying every second of this. You tightened your grip. The lack of oxygen making him squirm underneath you, but he knew you'd never kill him. His hands grabbed your knees. He just had to touch you in some way. Clingy as ever. The tent in his pants no surprise to either of you.
"I wanna do something that'll make you speechless for once. You're always doing unexpected things to me. Well, how about this?" You leaned down and kissed him. Pushing him further down and roughly shoving your tongue past his lips. Secretly, it was an excuse for you to be reminded of the sweet cherry taste in his mouth. (You knew tasted like that on purpose to lure you in.)
This wasn't your first kiss. He frequently planted small pecks on your cheeks and "accidentally" on your mouth. Though, after the second time, it was obvious he was doing it on purpose. While you kept protesting, you couldn't deny the spark you felt when your lips met. It felt good— unfortunately, it seemed like this batshit crazy guy was your only option. And the only option you'd ever choose.
He groaned softly, relaxing and allowing you to do whatever you wanted with him. Kissing you back with passion and true devotion. He always emphasized how he was yours to use. You pulled away to look at the smirk on his face, your hands cupping his cheeks. Squishing them together. "Don't look so happy. This doesn't mean I'm accepting you. I just, sometimes, like using you. But you're not moving in."
"We'll see about that. I bet I can change your mind." He commented, leaning his cheek to your hands and chuckling. "I have a few compelling arguments. I can cook. I can clean. I can do anything you want me to. So, won't you please reconsider? Pretty please?"
Pt. 2
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murmeloni · 1 year ago
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I need more fanboy Clark Kent in my life.
Like, he's seen Bruce Wayne interact with a child once and immediately fell in love with the guy. Now his bedroom walls are plastered with posters and he follows several social media accounts focused on capturing pictures of Bruce with kids and/or animals etc. He defends Bruce to anyone, no matter the antics he gets up to and it has become a bit of a running gag around the office.
Then, one day, Cat is out sick and someone jokingly suggests Clark should cover the gala in her stead, seeing as Bruce Wayne will be there and maybe this'll be Clark's shot to finally get his man? To everyone's surprise, Perry really does assign the gala coverage to Clark, who spends the days leading up to the event in a state somewhere between absolute panic and ultimate bliss.
But when the day finally arrives, Bruce doesn't show.
Of course Clark does his job and interviews everyone there (yes, even Lex Luthor) but a part of him spends all night waiting for Bruce to crash the party late, like he so often does.
Eventually, Clark gives up hope and it's shortly after that, that he stumbles upon one of the children dragged along to the event by their parents. Because apparently someone thought a charity gala was a good environment for an eight year old. The parents are nowhere in sight and the child is close to tears, so Clark makes it his mission to cheer the little girl up, regaling her with stories from his upbringing on a Kansas farm while he searches the crowd for her family.
With Clark thus occupied, he doesn't notice Bruce Wayne finally making his appearance for the night. But Bruce definitely notices him. The gentle giant who's all kind smiles and corny jokes... Until he finds the girl's parents. Uncaring of the fact that he's here on a job and that these people are richer than any one person should be and could easily sue him into oblivion, he takes them aside, fire in his eyes, and tears them a new one for losing track of their kid like this. Anything could have happened to her and maybe the readers of the Daily Planet would like to know about that? After all, how reliable and trustworthy could a company whose CEOs won't even look after their own daughter really be?
Bruce is immediately smitten. The passive-aggressive lecture and subtle threats - not to mention the broad shoulders and handsome face - are incredibly attractive to him and he wastes no time cornering the man afterwards.
Clark, who is so starstruck by the mere sight of Bruce coming towards him that he loses the ability to speak, nearly faints when Bruce just straight up shoves his tongue into his mouth. They end up in one of the coat rooms and Clark thinks that's it, just a one night stand. It sucks that he won't see Bruce again, but the night was amazing and at least he has the memory to treasure, right?
He thinks that right up until he gets to work the next day and two dozen red roses are waiting for him on his desk. There's a handwritten card nestled inbetween the petals and on it is the name of a restaurant along with a date and time. It's signed by Bruce.
And that is how Clark gets together with his celebrity crush.
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fancyperfectionsweets · 2 months ago
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Astrology Observations 🥀🏚️
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💞 This is fucking crazy but I read somewhere that the moon's zodiac in your D9 chart shows the ascendant/sun/moon of your spouse of their natal chart and I checked mine and my boyfriend's and it's literally the same?? His moon is in Capricorn. I'm a Capricorn rising and mine is in Pisces moon in D9 and this man is a Pisces rising?? Tf?? 🤯🤯
⚖�� A debilitated sun represents bad relationships with their father. Sun represents the father in the chart. In my personal observation, fathers or even people who can represent father figures in the libra sun's life (older brothers, uncles) can be hypocritical, take advantage of them or cannot be dependent on for any kind of support. One of the hardest placements fr.
🔅 If your darkaraka has another planet in the same house, your spouse can also have similar qualities of this planet. For eg., sun dk with mercury in the same house means that yes, your partner will be famous or has ego (sun qualities) but can also have "younger" or childlike qualities or they may be younger to you (mercury qualities).
👁️ Neptune first house = big doe eyes (no matter which zodiac).
👩‍💻 It is said that having a stellium in the 11th house can attract online stalking behaviour and it's true 🥲 . I have an 11th house stellium (sun + mercury + pluto) and I've had so many fake accounts and dating profiles made of me that I've given up trying to get them reported. I'll report one account and find another one. Aaaaa 😭 truly annoying.
🌹 Want to know the ideal time to meet a potential partner? Check your 7th house zodiac. When venus or jupiter comes in this sign, this is when you're likely to find romantic interests. I found out that my first relationship was when jupiter was in cancer (my 7th house lord) and I mostly bumped into my boyfriends when venus is in cancer.
🛌 4th house synastry is literally so comforting? You can be the coldest person and still be dreaming of building a home together with this person once they walk into your life
🌟 Weirdly enough, I've noticed that when people have Saturn + jupiter conjunction in whichever house they come across as super assured about those house's themes. If it's in the first house, the native is sure of himself. In the third house, they can be sure of their communication skills and be pretty blunt.
🦋 Libra 10th house, libra 1st house and venus doms: their obsession to be put together in public needs to be studied.
🤑 If you are born in 1997, there is a huge chance that Jupiter is in its debilitation zodiac in your chart (jupiter was in Capricorn that year). So here's two ways the debilitation can be cancelled.
1) Check your D9 chart. If Jupiter is exalted there or is sitting with another exalted planet, the debilitation of your natal chart gets cancelled
2) check if Saturn was in Pisces (which it was mostly that year). Pieces is jupiter's zodiac and capricorn is Saturn's. They are sitting in each other's zodiac according to vedic astrology, making something called parivartan yog. In Parivartan yog, these planets become almost exalted, debilitation gets cancelled and the houses they are in, becomes important. The parivartan yog is always better if none of these planets are in the 6th, 8th or 12th house though. I think the luckiest placement here would be jupiter in 9th, saturn in 11th.
�� Aries venus men? Why are y'all attracted to women who literally berate you, playfully beat you up and are mean to you??
🍑 I'm sorry but if you are going to involve yourself with a libra woman, know that more often than not, you're going to be "manipulated". This is because a libra woman thinks of manipulation as diplomacy or even a way of getting her way. This doesn't mean it's always negative. Libras understand that manipulation is sometimes done for the other person's good. My best friend is a libra and when I was underweight, she switched from serving me food from a small plate to a larger one to "manipulate" me to eat larger portions of food (more food looks less on larger plates) and I think it's so sweet 🥺❤️. They understand that forcing people to see a perspective is wrong so they try to not come across as forceful. They truly are diplomats of the zodiac.
❤️‍🔥 The 8th house also represents your hidden fears. In my case, I have a lilith there in leo. This sometimes manifests as icking out against leo and scorpio men. I may find them visually appealing but their traits piss me off so much.
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apricot-blossomss · 3 months ago
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Is it okay if I ask what type of s/o would the Gods be into? I find that really interesting and would like to hear your opinion since I really love your writing <3<3
This request came just right, bc I really want to write but I'm mad busy rn, and this was a lot of fun! so I kinda wrote for ... everyone.
If you're conventionally attractive, you are in Zeus' dating pool. You're exceptionally beautiful? I'm so sorry. Once he has set his eyes on you, you are not safe anywhere. There is no other factor that matters, except maybe if you're exceptionally hospitable and kind to guests, which might attract his attention. Which is not a good thing.
Poseidon would love someone unpredictable, someone who never gets boring and never fails to surprise him or catch him off guard. He'd love the excitement of it all and is generally pulled to exciting and outgoing people, but also people who are more introverted but break out of their shell at unexpected times.
If Hades had a type, it would for sure be someone a little more ... alive than him. He's clearly going for that opposites attract thing, just look at Persephone. Also, I reckon he'd like someone who can stand up for themselves, as standing up to his brothers was always very hard for him and he would admire you greatly for it.
Demeter would like someone who is humble, orderly and respectful and appreciative of the beauties of nature. Someone who finds joy in the little things and never fails to call their grandma for her birthday.
To be honest- you don't have a romantic chance with neither Hera nor Athena, Artemis or Hestia. Though I thought it would be fun to make some platonic headcanons for what kind of mortal they would take interest in in a platonic way.
Hera admires loyalty, it doesn't even have to be to a spouse, it can also be your family or friends. Also, she appreciates people who remain strong even in the face of long term hardships or anguish, and it might earn you her favor. It's not that she pities you, but that she admires your strength to keep fighting. Also, she'd love to talk shit about men with you as much as the next goddess...
Artemis isn't about the whole opposites attract thing. As with Orion, she is likely to make friends with someone who shares her interests, as she also surrounds herself with her huntresses. She loves to talk about hunting and the wild and would like someone who isn't afraid to get themselves dirty. If you're a guy, it's pretty hard to get in her good grades though.
Athena is all in for academic weapons. Critical thinkers, challenging the status quo and earning great archivements. Someone she could have an intellectual conversation with, who offers new points of argument and is able to hold their own in an argument, she is the goddess of warfare after all...
I don't think there is anyone Hestia doesn't like, though she would favor people who spend a lot of time with their family and are kind and hospitable to others. Kindness to strangers is something she very much appreciates.
Apollo doesn't really have a type. His mortal lovers are symbolic for his creative inspirations, so he would not settle for a type but be all over the board. The variety of his lovers concludes that Apollo isn't looking for a specific kind of person. He simply watches or spends time with someone and BAM he's completely and utterly in love. He does love himself an artsy spouse though.
Ares needs someone calm and peaceful- it might seem a little contradictory, but Ares needs someone to ground him, to listen to him and provide the calm for his storm. Actually, he's all for domesticity, though a hot love affair doesn't turn him away either. If his spouse had a strong personality and could stand up for themselves, he would really respect that, but he would also be your guard dog if that wasn't the case. Ares just needs someone to love him unconditionally, quite like the next god on the list.
Not to be disrespectful but Hephaestus does not care who you are, he's just happy with someone who treats him with dignity. Be kind to him and he is putty in your hands. After all his family put him through, he'd also appreciate someone to rant about them to, who can also sit in silent understanding with him at other times. But honestly, he isn't setting the bar very high.
Not to call her vain, but you would have to be insanely beautiful to be on Aphrodites radar. She simply considers herself too good to spend her time on anyone who isn't pleasing to her eye- and that really cuts down the pool of potential lovers. Also, she would only stay around for someone who is ready to give their full attention to her at all times, she is a very demanding lover.
I think Hermes would want someone who is able to keep up with him, but also root him when he overdoes it a little. It would take quite a lot for him to actually stick around, because for him to make time in his busy schedule, he'd have to be head over heels in love.
Dionysus would probably not have a specific type either, simply because he wouldn't want to cut short his dating pool. Though he would like someone who is able to let loose at least sometimes and surrender to his pull of madness and ecstasy.
Extra: Eros would mostly go for someone attractive, but he wouldn't let that be the only factor. Just as the unpredictable and surprising nature of his arrows, Eros could fall for anybody, picking out a trait he loves about them and obsessing over it for the day (I'm thinking 'Someone New' by Hozier if you know what I mean).
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captain-huggy-bear · 1 month ago
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Luke would be the type to keep his private life very private so him having a gf only really his family and friends in michigan know so the devils have no clue and i could see the boys always trying to get luke to hookup with people for like a whole season till next season when they finally learn luke has had a gf the whole time
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Oh boy, 100%. He always just politely tells them he's not interested in dating anyone or having a casual hookup or pretends he doesn't notice what they're doing. Jack 100% does not help, he finds it hilarious when any of the guys are trying to get Luke to talk to some random girl in a bar, but he will 100% confirm to you that Luke is the most loyal boyfriend you could ask for. I also see Luke feeling guilty about it even though he hasn't done anything, so every time he gets back to the apartment he's telling you if you live together or phoning you if you don't and basically confessing his 'sins', like 'i'm so sorry, baby, Marky tried to get me to go out with this blonde and she wouldn't stop touching my arm and I told her I wasn't interested and I only love you.' Definitely reaches a point where he breaks and just goes 'STOP! I HAVE A GIRLFRIEND' and all the guys are just like 'why the hell didn't you tell us this sooner?' Totally happy to take requests/ideas/prompts at the moment in my ask box :) Writing Masterlist
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"Hey, C'mon, Rusty! What about the blonde at the end of the bar?" Curtis points to a young woman around Luke's age, platinum blonde hair, little black dress, who's eyeing Luke like he might be candy. It doesn't flatter him, if anything it sends a sick feeling to his gut, a roiling discomfort because only you're allowed to look at him like that. You can eye fuck him, no one else. He feels objectified.
"Curtis, I've told you I'm not interested. Not my type." Not his type because his girlfriend is his only type and there's only one of you. It doesn't matter if 100 attractive women all tried to get his number right now, he wouldn't care, wouldn't give it out because you're the one he wants. Literally no one compares to you, he's smitten, whipped, absolutely in love.
"C'mon, seriously! You didn't go out with anyone all last season! Not even a hook up, you're celibate, man! You're young, you should be having fun!" Curtis knocks his shoulder with a grin and Luke just grips his beer tighter, feeling a familiar frustration at the situation. He spent all of last season dealing with the boys trying to goad him into hook ups and flings, throwing women at him like it was their duty to get him laid. He hated every minute of it.
"Yeah, Lukey, you were practically celibate, a monk," Jack chimes in, arm thrown over Luke's shoulder with a grin, the irony of his words not lost on either of them because Luke was definitely not celibate last year. He just wasn't hooking up with random strangers, because he'd started dating you, because you were the only person he wanted to see, to kiss, to sleep with and that still stood firm and true.
"Just go talk to her, maybe you'll get lucky and go home with her tonight! C'mon, what's wrong?" It's Dougie that chimes in this time and Luke wants to die. He wants to die. Or alternative go to your apartment and curl up with you in bed because this is the worst.
"Yeah, are you scared, Lukey?" If Jack wasn't his brother he'd have killed him already, killed him for encouraging all of this bullshit for a year, knowing full well that Luke wasn't single. But, he can't because his mom would be upset if Jack died...he rolls his eyes at him instead, shrugging his arm off of his shoulders.
"You're not secretly a virgin or anything, right, Rusty?"
"Fuck off, Lazar." He snaps, not because it would matter if he was, but because it's stupid that that's the only reason people can comprehend he wouldn't want to sleep around. Maybe it's just not his thing to have hook ups? Maybe he's focusing on his career? Maybe he's already in love and anything else would be cheap and insignificant in comparison?
"Oh, that's hit a nerve, some truth in that?" The guys are all grinning at him like they think they've got it all worked out and it just...it makes him snap, slamming the bottle of beer he'd been cradling to the bar top.
"No, y'know why I don't want to go talk to some random fucking blonde in the bar or hook up with whatever girl you throw my way? Because I've got a fucking girlfriend, okay? I'm not virgin! I'm not celibate! I just don't want to fuck a girl that isn't my girlfriend!" Luke's breathing heavy by the end of it, red it the face because it is so fucking annoying to constantly be bugged about it and he just wants everyone to get off his back. He's happily with you, he doesn't need random hook ups and he certainly doesn't need his team mates trying to get him laid like they have some moral duty to do so.
The way they look at him makes him feel stupid because suddenly they're all calling out variations of, "Dude! Why the fuck didn't you tell us this sooner?!" and he realises that maybe he could have solved this all months earlier by just saying he was seeing someone...like a normal person, maybe? But he'd wanted to keep things private...
He flounders for an explanation, mouth opening and closing, running a hand through his mess curls like that might help his brain to function.
"I just...it was new and...we were keeping it private."
It's Marky that turns to look at Jack, "Did you not know about this?"
"Oh, I knew." Jack is all smug enjoyment, leaning back against the bar and winking at the blonde Curtis had been trying to set Luke up with. Satisfaction rolled off him in cocky waves.
"Why they hell did you let us shove girls at your brother then?" Curtis asks, shocked, nay baffled because Jack had just spent an entire season practically encouraging the behaviour all while knowing full well Luke was dating you.
"It was funny," He shrugs with a grin and mentally Luke is considering whether the price he'd pay is worth putting itching powder in Jack's underwear drawer or maybe if cutting his hair in his sleep would be a better punishment since he can't rip another set of braces off him like Quinn did.
"That's messed up, Jack!" "Yeah, man!"
Luke sighs as the guys all ripped into Jack, downing the last of his beer and grabbing his phone off the bar top.
"Fuck this, I'm going to see Y/N."
"Ohh, you're girlfriend!?" And just like that Luke knows...he knows he's not out of the woods, it's just that the woods have changed from teasing and taunting him about hook ups, to doing so about his girlfriend.
Fuck, he hates being a younger brother.
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777rare · 6 days ago
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18+ SYNASTRY OBSERVATIONS
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THESE NOTES ARE ONLY A STUDY OF MINE AND HAS/HAS NOT BEEN PROVEN YET, SO IF IT DOES NOT RESONATE WITH YOU, FORGIVE ME AS IT WAS ONLY A STUDY/OBSERVATION OF MINE.
I DO NOT PLAGIARIZE, COPY OR REWORD ANY OF MY FELLOW ASTROLOGY OBSERVERS POSTS AND I DEMAND THE SAME IN RETURN.
18+!!!! Kids, go play in the park...shoo shoo
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• A lot of people aren't aware that even Moon is a very sexually driven planet. Like it's most likely the reason why you want to get in someone's pants, have someone's babies, just wanna ride someone so bad (lol), etc.
This is why the sexual energy when Mars or Pluto aspects (mostly conjunct) Moon is off the charts in synastry. The sexual tension is extremely undeniable.
When there is a square or opposition it becomes very much an uncomfortable sexual tension at the beginning and for a while but when you begin to feel comfortable around eachother, trust me, it gets HOT🔥 It's like being in a Sauna when you're around eachother..the eye contact, the slight touch, the sweaty hands, the figitting, it's just so noticable.
I feel like with the square and opposition it's like you both are wondering why you feel such heat around eachother, like you just wanna touch eachother for the hell of it...and you wonder why you don't feel such a way with anyone else you talk to. It can be frustrating to be around eachother and not touch eachother, even if it's in the slightest way.
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• In synastry, Stone asteroid (5841) aspecting Prevert asteroid (18624) makes the Stone person think a lot about the Prevert persons moans or how they would moan, the stone person can even most likely masturbate to the thought of the Prevert person having sex with them. The Prevert person too wants to hear the stone person moan..like they wanna see the stone person moan as the Prevert person pleasures them🔥😮‍💨.
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• Bruhhhhh... Stone asteroid in the 12th house and the house person literally moaning and whimpering to the fantasy of the Stone person moaning as they thrust themselves against the house person plzzzz....confession, I had this with someone once..👍🫣
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• Sirene asteroid (1009) in the 3rd house makes the house person find the Sirene person's voice sexy as hellll...like a literal turn on🔥 The Sirene person knows what to say and do with their hands to make the house person wet, turned on and begging for more... y'all need to chill😩❤️‍🔥
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• Destinn (6583) asteroid conjunct Pluto or Mars can mean it's destined that both the individuals will have sexual intercourse for sure. This is an undeniable indicator...but be safe, who you have it with people cuz a lot of people be really bad these days🫶💖
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• Venus in the 6th house or 7th house makes the Venus person find the house person's ass really attractive, doesn't matter if it's fat or flat, they be admiring that ass from anywhere at this point😭👍. Confession, I have this with someone and I literally love his ass, it's so cute ahh...yes,he knows😭🫣
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• Moon ⚹ or Δ (any soft aspects actually, including minor aspects) Mercury makes the Moon person very much turned on by the Mercury person's voice. They find mercury person's voice so attractive and it just makes them so wet. They want to hear the mercury person talk dirty to them, like they're completely ready for it😮‍💨
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• Pholus asteroid (5145) in the 8th house = The Pholus person blowing up the house person's dark parts of themselves. This can also indicate that the Pholus person blows up the house sexual sides of themselves often causing the house person to masturbate to the thoughts of the Pholus person.🔥🤝
The Pholus person also blows up the house person's genitals or sexual hormones and this makes the house person very wet just by a few thoughts of the Pholus person. Even a slight touch, their voice and presence will do.🤫🫡
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• Dominiona asteroid (24899) over the 1st house = The dominiona person feels like they own the house person. The dominiona person wants the house person all to themselves and the dominiona person is very possessive of the house person. Whether the ascendant person likes this or not depends purely on their other placements in their chart.
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• Whereas, Dominiona conjunct Ascendant makes the ascendant person want the dominiona person all to themselves and feels what I mentioned the above towards the dominiona person. Whether the dominiona person likes this or not depends purely on their other placements in their chart.
[The dominiona observations are not necessarily 18+ but as someone who gets turned on by dominance and loves a dominant partner, yes...this is for all those who, like me, are turned on by this too🫂🔥]
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• Mars in the 4rth house = The Mars person sees the house person as someone innocent, gentle and pure until they realise that the house person becomes a hot demon in bed lol🤫🔥😩
A song for this beautiful couple:
• Mars in the 8th house (if the duo are not enemies) = The Mars person sees the house person as someone mysterious and also sexy. The Mars person can't get enough of the sexual intercourse between him/her and the house person because the house person satisfies them at a soul level, even if the individuals aren't spiritual. Hot and steamy sex right there. The sex is sweaty and raw as hell, which is like having sex in a Sauna, even when you aren't in one...gosh, hot..just Hot💦🤒
Some songs to understand how this synastry feels on a sexual level:
Bonus For KPOP STANS❤️‍🔥:
• Jupiter in the 8th house just makes both the individuals so thirsty and hungry for eachother. It's like their sexual appetite is expanded to infinite when they're with eachother and get intimate. They both cannot get enough of the sex and this is the kind of sex that's devotional and a complete focus on eachother. Both the individuals want eachother so much to the point of madness.
They love how crazy they make eachother though, especially when there's Venus in the 8th house too. They want to merge souls through the art of intercourse and they can't get enough of eachother at all. They can never get bored of eachother because no matter how much they indulge in eachother, be it physically, emotionally, mentally or spiritually, both of them feel like it ain't enough.
The song for this beautiful couple:
• Eros asteroid (433) aspecting Neptune can make both the individuals fantasize about having sex with eachother so so so muchh. It reaches a point where they can't even focus on their day to day activities cuz they suddenly zone out, just thinking about having sex with eachother. 🥵💦
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•Moon in the 8th house (even Moon conjunct Pluto) is the such a sensual placement to have with someone you have sex with. Literally. The sex is like heaven on Earth. The gentle touches while taking the clothes off (with Mars it's like ripping the clothes off lol), the heavy eye contact while having sex, the aftercare, the massaging while having sex, everything is just so soulful and sensual. The touching and teasing is so on point with this overlay and both the individuals just love the intimacy they share.. although it can be quite frustrating if both of one of them are shallow in Nature and don't want depth.
The song for this beautiful couple:
• Alinda asteroid (887) aspect Jupiter (esp. conjunct and soft aspects) expands the Jupiter person's urge to be rough with the Alinda person and kiss them so badly. This aspect creates an uncontrollable urge for the Jupiter person to kiss the Alinda person and make out with them a little roughly too.🥴❤️‍🔥
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• Venus/Mars in the 3rd house makes the Venus/Mars person hella attracted to the house person's voice, like they just wanna hear the house person speak, even if it's nonsense lol😂The Mars/Venus person also gives good head or oral to the house person. The planet person finds the house persons mouth attractive as hell and they just wanna taste them.😳🤤
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• Mercury in the 8th house overlay makes the mercury person give such good oral to the house person. This also makes the mercury person wanna finger the house person and see them moan in pleasure😮‍💨👍 The house person can find the mercury person's voice very sexy and hottt like ughh😩💦. The mercury person's voice makes the house person hella turned on and wett.
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• Mars or Venus over the 4rth house makes the planet person extremely attracted to the house persons chest..and if the house person is a woman, then their breasts🔥 but I've also noticed that when this overlay is present in synastry where the woman is the planet person and the house person is the man, the man still seems to find the woman's breast beautiful.
Also, when this overlay is present the house person would want the planet person to ride them (if man) or wanna ride them (if woman) but yes, the riding is amazing here💦
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✓Mercury overlays can show where the mercury person would love to use their mouth and hands on the house person and where they do use it:
1st house = the face, the entire head, maybe grabbing your head while your giving them head, they love kissing you on the face and lips or wanna try it badly.
2nd house = your lips, again wanting to kiss your lips a lot and can even wanna put their hands in your mouth while having sex.
3rd house = wanting to give you head or have you give them head. They could also want you to give them blowjobs and they could give you that too. They wanna kiss your fingers too and can give you hand jobs as well. They even want to hold your hands while having sex with you.
4rth house = They wanna kiss your belly. They even do *ehem* dirty stuff with your breast. If you're a guy they wanna kiss and suck your nipples too. They like squeezing your breast or have you touch theirs a lot too. They wanna ride you as well or have you ride them.
5th house = They wanna kiss your chest. They wanna ride you or have you ride them while putting their hands on your chest. They wanna see your breast or stay close to your chest while having sex. A lot of missionary with this overlay too.
6th house = They want to use their fingers in your anus...yeah..they wanna eat your ass and finger you there while having sex or Vice versa. They want to touch your butt a lot while having sex.
7th house = They want to grab your ass honestly. They wanna smack that ass while having sex. They want to use their mouth there or vice versa. A lot of anal with this overlay (even 6th house).
8th house = They want to taste your genitals. They want to give you oral or have you give them oral. They want to touch all your private parts or sacred parts of your body and vice versa.
9th house = They wanna touch your thighs so badly. They wanna have you lick their thighs or they wanna lick and kiss your thighs first before doing the deed. They want to have their hands on your thighs while you sit on their lap and ride them. (Vice versa)
10th house = They want to place their hands all over your legs. They wanna see you spread your legs wide while pleasuring you. They want to hold your legs while having sex with you. They can even like the idea of risky sex like having it in a public place where they finger you in and elevator full of people (sorry, I got that 50 shades of grey scene in my head😭).
11th house = They want to get freaky with what they do to you. They wanna use their hands and mouth on all your places like a crazy maniac ah😭👍 They like your ass for sureee and wanna see you cum multiple times as they give you a handjob, oral, head, you name it. They wanna do it all with you😮‍💨🔥 like wanting to tie your hands up, put you on your knees, blindfold you or have you do all of this to them.
12th house = They wanna again use their hands all over your body, from head to toe. They wanna kiss your feet though, no, not like a foot kink, they want to massage your feet out of love. They wanna have you slide your feet across their body or they wanna slide their feet across your body (Not the hands but I've observed this). They wanna use their hands on your main part (the kitty or the dick) and wanna even pleasure you in all the ways possible. They wanna actually submit to you.
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The asteroids mentioned above:
5841,18624,1009,6583,5145,24899,433,887
An 18+ Composite observations is also on its way so stay tuned for more and thankyou for reading through this!❤️‍🔥😊 Lots of love and gratitude💖
Have a good day and I hope to see you in my next post!🤝
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leeloooonfire · 8 months ago
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based on this post about Steve's internalized bi-phobia:
Steve has known for years.
And how could he not when Tommy's freckles come back tenfold each spring like a flower peaking it's head through the last layer of snow? Or when Matthew Carver's hair have a reddish brown tone that turns blond after they spent the last days before summer break practising outside and remind Steve of liquid gold? Or when he watches Star Wars and Harrison Ford, rugged and witty, comes into view and twists his stomach in knots? How could he not know?!
Steve knows he finds guys as attractive as girls, known for many, many years. But.
But he can't. Not when Tommy sneers at that boy in their literature class who likes flamboyant clothes and wants to be an actor on Broadway. Not when the people they meet in Indi who are like Robin and Eddie 'fully queer' and talk about people like Steve as if they're traitors and scams. Not when he reads the newspaper and is assaulted by Reagan and his folk preaching about the 'fag pandemic' or how his father nods in approval and mutters 'another sinner gone for good' when the news play on TV and they occasionally mention the crisis that kills people like Robin and Eddie and him.
Like him....
It doesn't matter how much he loves sleeping with his nose pressed against Eddie's collarbone or that he thinks he'd like to kiss Eddie and hold his hands and wake up beside him until they're old and wrinkly and complain about bad knees.
He is, but he cannot be a queer, half a fairy '50% like me, 50% like Eddie' as Robin jokes.
He will not be a bisexual, he can keep it inside, keep it hidden, buried deep inside him no matter how much it pains him. He can be the straight friend who goes to pride and bakes rainbow cakes and marries a woman even though his heart screams in an ear ringing cacophony, 'Eddie, Eddie Eddie Eddie!'
This is how his 20s go: loud and hurting and yearning and hiding and more noticeably being disgusted and ashamed of himself for simply being able to love men the way he can love women.
He's 29 when his wife, Becky, leaves him. It's not just Eddie and this shameful secret that weights heavy on their relationship, but the scars and all the other secrets he is unable to explain to her that drive Becky finally away - back to Boston. She leaves him alone in that tiny house they bought three years ago with their Saint Bernard puppy they lovingly named Bernadette.
He's 30 when he goes to a coffee meeting of the bisexual group meeting in Chicago, nearly turning the car multiple times, hands and knees sweaty with fear that they won't want him there. They do want him there, welcome him with open arms, and talk about things Steve knows all too well: 'When I fell in love with the first girl, I ran. I like men just fine, so I hid my crush. It's just easier, when your parents hate gays, when the world is shaming our community, when we're dying.' He finds a second home there, and learns - learns about queerness and bisexuality, about trans and gender non conforming people and physical attraction versus emotional attraction. He learns about his past and present and about his future, about their history and where they want to go, how they want to mold their world to fit people like them into it without the pain and the hiding.
Steve is 33 when he finally comes out to everyone dear to him. To the kids who aren't kids anymore and to Joyce and Hopper, and then his parents. this does not go well, but Steve doesn't want, doesn't need their validation anymore. He has his family, his friends, his support system who love him not regardless of his sexuality but because of it, love him because it's part of him. He comes out to Becky, too and that goes much better. they want to be friends, in the future. She's also met Gary who works the the NY Times and wants her to follow him into the big city. So Steve is looking forward how that goes, their tentative friendship.
He is 34 when Eddie comes back from his latest world tour and wants to take a break to rekindle with his uncle, to write new songs, to take a breather. It's only natural that Eddie moves into Steve's guest room and takes over his space on the couch where he cuddles Bernadette while Steve is in the kitchen and makes them grilled cheese and tomato soup for dinner.
Its even more natural when their feet meet while watching a movie and they lean into each other in the kitchen, dawn barely there, while they wait for the coffee maker to finish.
Steve's 35 when Eddie finally kisses him and he kisses back. No hurt, no shame, no guilt gnawing on him, Steve finally allows himself to be with the person he truly wants - regardless of their gender.
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writinginatree · 3 months ago
Text
Too Sweet
Relationship(s): Xaden Riorson/female!reader
Summary: Xaden never understood how opposites could attract — not until he meets you and realizes that he doesn't have to understand your sweetness to cherish it.
Anonymous requested: I was thinking in a xaden fic based in "too sweet" from Hozier, where he's all like wanting the reader but also thinking like she deserved more, but with a happy ending ( maybe smutty too ✋🏻
Part 2
Xaden never understood that opposites were supposed to attract. On a physical level, sure. But when it comes to personality and ideology? How could anyone be with someone so wildly different from themselves that they can't possibly understand the other? Someone whose whole attitude to life is completely unlike their own? To him, it just seemed like a recipe for heartbreak. Then again, the saying only claims that opposites attract, not necessarily that they're compatible.
Since meeting you, this is something he's been thinking about a lot.
You're everything he is not; happy, bubbly, energetic, adored by just about everyone and making friends left and right. You're... sweet. There's no other way to put it. What someone like you is doing in the Riders Quadrant, Xaden doesn't know.
He tries to keep his distance at first — liking people is dangerous, and you're much too likable. Needless to say, it doesn't work. Being in the same squad, he constantly finds himself in your presence, and while he keeps to himself as much as he can, he finds it hard to outright avoid you. Almost against his will, he slowly gets to know you. He can't exactly help it, seeing as you sit next to him in almost every class, seek him out at mealtimes, asking him to come sit with the rest of your squad, offer smiles every time you pass him in the halls. You're everywhere, a persistent ray of sunshine piercing into the darkness of his life.
He doesn't understand you. Doesn't have a clue why you're so nice, or how you always manage to be so sociable, no matter what time it is or what lethal bullshit you're about to face, let alone why you seem to genuinely like him. Unlike most others, you have no prejudices against the marked ones, but even so, Xaden is not an easy person to like these days. He can't afford kindness, weakness. Not with all the lives that quite literally rest upon his back.
But no matter how curt he is, no matter how often he only gives one-word answers to your steady stream of chatter or declines your offers to study together, your friendliness never wavers. Every morning your beaming smile greets him in the gathering hall at breakfast, and as days turn into weeks, he often finds his gaze automatically scanning the room for you upon entering, hoping to catch a glimpse of that precious smile. Your presence becomes a comforting part of his routine, always there and yet never intruding. For all your persistence in trying to include him, you're never overbearing. You don't push him when he doesn't join your squad's study session, give him opportunity to join a conversation should he want to, but accept when he doesn't.
He shouldn't get too used to your presence — two of your year-mates have died already, and there's no guarantee you won't be next. Life is dangerous in the Riders Quadrant, and Xaden keeps wondering why someone so sweet would choose this life. You seem more like the type who would be a healer — or maybe even a baker or gardener, far away from the cruelty of war. And yet you thrive even in this environment. He supposes he could just ask you about it, but he doesn't want to get to know you, gods damn it.
Thinking back later, Xaden will realize that the superficial attraction he felt for you from the first starts to grow toward something more the first time your squad leader pairs him with you for a sparring session.
He has already seen you fight at Assessment, but facing you on the mat himself, he gets a much more intimate feeling of your fighting style. You're fast, full of the same energy that is in everything you do, smiling even as you struggle to dodge his punches and get past his defense. You're good. Not as good as him, but your enthusiasm makes up for that. Xaden has to admit — at least to himself — that sparring with you is actually fun. The training session seems to be over in the blink of an eye, and as you step off the mat, both of you sweaty and breathing hard, Xaden is already looking forward to the next, hoping he'll get you as his sparring partner again.
For once he allows himself to be drawn into conversation, answering your questions on how to improve your technique as you walk out of the gym side by side.
The better he gets to know you, the more he has to keep reminding himself to stay away from you, that you're too sweet for him. But, oh, it's hard; he enjoys your company so much. Garrick has caught on, too, teasing him about what he calls his crush on the sunshine girl every time he sees him talking to you. And though Xaden vehemently denies having such a silly thing as a crush, he can't even convince himself of that, let alone his best friend. Having known him as long as he does, Garrick always sees right through him.
The relief Xaden feels at Threshing when he lands and spots you already standing on the flight field in front of a Red is immense. He quickly shoves the feeling down, preferring not to think about what it implies. He does not have a crush, and the last thing he needs is for his dragon to think him a lovesick fool and change its mind about bonding him while it still can. He feels the unfamiliar presence of her in the back of his mind, her golden eyes piercing into him after he dismounts.
He feels all the other people's gazes on him, too, the disapproving stares from where leadership is seated on the dais, their disdain for him permeating the very air. He keeps his head high as he walks to the rollkeeper, refusing to so much as look at the people who'd doubtlessly been hoping he would meet his end in the woods today.
Blood keeps trickling into his eye from the cut Sgaeyl gave him. It stings, but the annoyance of it is worse than the pain. Pain is fine. But constantly having to blink away the blood blurring his vision, feeling it run down his cheek like tears — it makes his skin crawl with discomfort. He's not going to seek out the professors giving first-aid, though. Bothersome as it might be, it's just a little cut, and he can't afford to look weak.
As he walks back to Sgaeyl, his eyes automatically find you in the crowd of mingling first-years, just as they always do. You're watching him, too, but unlike everyone else whose gazes darken, you smile at the sight of him. When you notice him looking, you wave and start toward him. As you get closer, Xaden notes a split in your lip and a blood-soaked bandage around your thigh, but since you're hardly even limping, Xaden assumes that the injury can't be very bad. No, if anything, there's even more of a spring to your walk than usual, your hair bouncing with every step.
Instead of stopping in front of him when you reach him, you throw your arms around him, squeezing him tight, and suddenly, Xaden doesn't remember how to breathe. No one just hugs him out of nowhere like that. No one would even dream of hugging him at all. And yet here you are, doing just that and apparently thinking nothing of it, judging by the easy smile on your face when you let go after a couple of seconds.
"I'm glad you made it," you say. "I mean, I never doubted it, but still."
"I'm glad you made it, too," he admits, quiet enough that none of the people nearby will hear. He allows himself to return your smile, just for a moment, absentmindedly lifting his hand to wipe blood from his eye again. Your gaze immediately snags on the cut, a small crease appearing between your own brows.
"Your dragon?" you ask.
Xaden nods.
"You'd think the relics they'll give us should be enough to mark us as theirs, but apparently not. Mine stabbed me in the thigh."
"Daggertail?"
"Swordtail. Went right through and back out on the other side, but luckily she didn't cut through anything important." You shrug, the grin reappearing on your face as you tilt your head to the side, studying him. "That'll be one hell of a badass scar you're gonna have there."
Xaden bites back another smile, watching with slight confusion as you remove the kerchief you're wearing around your neck today. For a moment, Xaden catches a flash of glitter dotting the black cloth, then it's too close to see clearly as you bring the balled up fabric to his brow and dab up the blood. Your touch is much gentler than his own, and, with the cloth soaking up the blood, much more effective, too.
After a few seconds you pull back, pressing your now bloody neckerchief into his hand. "Keep it."
"Thanks," he mutters past the lump he suddenly seems to have in his throat.
He'll never get used to how kind you are. It's such a little thing, to notice how much the blood in his eye was bothering him and do something about it, and yet it means more to him than you could ever know. It'll probably take a while until the wound completely stops bleeding, but with your kerchief to wipe at it, at least it won't bleed all over his face anymore.
He pretends to listen as you start rambling about your dragon and the thrill of the short flight here, and though Xaden agrees that there's nothing that can compare to the feeling of flying, he can't focus enough to keep up with the sheer endless rush of words. It should be annoying, he thinks. The constant happy babbling, the needless touching — even now you're standing much closer than necessary, shaking his arm as you bounce on your feet while telling him about a particularly exciting part of approaching Milis. If anyone else did that, he'd shove them away to get some space, tell them to stop being so childish. But for some reason it doesn't bother him when you're the one doing it.
Spotting Garrick in the crowd, Xaden hurriedly uses the excuse to walk away toward his best friend. Turning his mind to more practical matters, he forces his thoughts away from you with great difficulty, still reeling from your unreasonable kindness.
After Threshing, something changes, and Xaden finds himself spending more and more time in your company. Maybe it's just that you and him are slowly crystalizing out to be the most powerful in your squad. Or maybe he's going down a slippery slope, no idea where it might lead but unable to stop the descent.
Too sweet, that's what you are. But then, Xaden has always liked sweet things. He remembers when he was a child, being told that all those sugary things he liked so much would hurt his teeth. With you, he feels similar to how he did then; afraid of the hurt he might be causing himself in the long run and wishing to preserve himself from it, but unable to resist the immediate temptation of sweetness. He craves it, that contrast you bring to the usual bitterness that is his life.
And it's refreshing to be around someone who isn't scared of him, even if he still doesn't understand why you aren't intimidated of him like everyone else. Despite your easygoing attitude and bubbly personality, you're far from a fool, unrelenting and self-preservative when need be.
It's an uncomfortable thought, the idea that maybe you're seeing past the stoic facade he keeps, know that he wouldn't hurt you unless you hurt him first. He's not used to people seeing him for who he is anymore, only for who he has to be. The Great Betrayer's son, the heir apparent, the revolution's leader. Traitor or hero, depending on who you ask. But with you, he can simply be Xaden. It scares him, that vulnerability you bring out in him, but he'd be lying if he claimed not to like how simple everything seems when he's with you.
The only difficulty is the secrets he is forced to keep. Luckily, you're very understanding when he says he doesn't want to talk about anything to do with his father's rebellion, and if you suspect that he's up to anything illegal, you don't show it. Some of it — like the meetings with all the marked ones in the quadrant to make sure everyone is helping each other get by — he could probably trust you with. By now, he knows you well enough to know you wouldn't immediately jump to the worst conclusions, would probably even help him sneak out. But in a way, the worst possible conclusions are uncomfortably close to the truth, and he can't risk revealing even such a comparatively harmless secret. No, the less you know, the better — for both of you.
Enjoy your company as he might, sometimes it does grate on his nerves, that seemingly endless happy energy you radiate. Like today, sitting at breakfast and tired out of his mind as he sips on his second mug of coffee when you come bouncing into the gathering hall, fresh from the gym. If he didn't know you get up before sunrise every morning to lift weights with another girl from your squad before breakfast, he'd think you came straight from your bed after a full night's sleep. Of course, even with getting up almost two hours earlier than necessary, you're most certainly still getting more sleep than he is.
Sliding into your usual seat beside him, you greet everyone with more enthusiasm than anyone should have at this time of morning. Xaden returns only the barest of nods, which is more than he's spared anyone else so far. He can already tell this is not going to be his day, and he doesn't feel like wasting energy on being sociable.
You know better than to take it personally, humming a happy little melody under your breath as you start to eat.
As much as Xaden normally enjoys the sound of your voice, the noise in the hall is already bad enough, and he doesn't need you adding to it. "Would you stop that?" he snaps, more harshly than he had intended.
You fall quiet with an apologetic smile, and Xaden immediately feels bad about losing his patience on you.
He downs the rest of his coffee, contemplating whether or not getting another mug of it would help his mood. Probably not, but it's worth a try to keep from snapping at you again. You're trying to be considerate, doubtlessly having noticed that the dark circles under his eyes are even more pronounced than usual, but it simply isn't in your nature to be quiet for long. He likes that — most of the time, at least. The silence he takes refuge in can feel suffocating at times; having you around to break it makes life decidedly more bearable.
"Maybe you'd be less tired if you tried going to bed a little earlier," you tease.
The glare he levels on you is the kind that would have a lesser person shrinking in their seat, as evident by the wary looks from your squadmates, but you're not intimidated in the least. If anything, your smile only widens.
Unbelievable.
"How do you want to know what time I go to bed?"
You shrug. "You know I have the room next to yours. Sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night, and when I look out of the window then there's always light coming from your window."
"Stalker," he mutters, rolling his eyes when you giggle. The sound effortlessly melts away the worst of his irritation, leaving him still tired and moody, but decidedly less likely to kill anyone for testing his patience.
"I wasn't stalking you on purpose," you defend yourself, the laughter lingering in your voice, "I just like looking at the snow in the moonlight. It's always so pretty, don't you think?"
Xaden shrugs. It's been a long time since he's spared any thought to the beauty of nature. The next time he can't sleep — which is almost all the time — he'll try to enjoy the nightly view from his window too, he decides, if only so he can understand what you like about it.
"The snow would be all nice and well if we didn't have to fly in it," your squadmate inserts themself into the conversation. "Have you seen how much is coming down right now?"
You nod. "Maybe it'll let up until our turn on the flight field. Milis says if this keeps up, she and the other dragons might just refuse to show up." Quieter, only for Xaden, you add, "Let's hope they don't, then you can use the time for a nap instead."
"I don't need a nap," he grumbles back, just as quietly. Truth be told, he probably could use one, but if he were able to sleep, he wouldn't be this tired.
"You sure? I'll even sing you a lullaby if you'd like."
You wink at him, grinning in that way only you can, and Xaden knows that despite your playful manner, you're serious about helping him fall asleep if you can.
He shakes his head, smiling against his will. "You're a dork."
"And you're an insomniac."
"I'm fine."
"Whatever you say."
People's intimidation of him turns to outright fear once his signet manifests, shadows stirring wherever he goes. As usual, you're the exception. Your eyes shine with awe and something like pride as you watch him demonstrate his newfound powers to you with rapt fascination, not a trace of fear to be found.
"That's amazing!" You bring a hand to the shadow closest to you, gingerly brushing your fingers along it. Xaden feels goosebumps rise on his skin, as if it had been him you touched. "They're actually solid! How is that even possible?"
"No idea," Xaden admits. "I'm only just starting to figure out how it works."
As his signet grows stronger, your shadow is the one he's most aware of. Even when you're not in the same room — or even the same building — as him, he always knows exactly where you are and what you're doing. It's not what he should be using this power for, but the shadows seem to have a mind of their own. They're very attached to you. Or maybe he's just making that up to excuse his embarrassing lack of control. It's not like he wants to be some kind of obsessive stalker; he simply can't help the fact that you're constantly on his mind.
If you have noticed that the shadows near you always seem more alive than is natural as of late, you haven't mentioned it. Not very surprising, considering you're occupied with trying to control your own water wielding signet. Xaden has taken more than one involuntary bath since it manifested a couple weeks ago, and has learned to keep his distance from you while drinking water. When you lose control, it's always him getting drenched, as though your water is drawn to him the same way his shadows are to you. It wouldn't be so bad if it wasn't the middle of fucking winter. You always try to remove the moisture from his clothes afterwards, but while you have already gotten a little better at it, even your best efforts don't get them any less than damp, so Xaden — or whoever else falls victim to your flood — is left either freezing his ass off in wet clothes, or making himself late to the next class by returning to his room to get changed.
Worst of all, Xaden can't even bring himself to be mad at you about it. He's no better; the only difference is that, so far, his shadows haven't tried to drown anyone.
He probably shouldn't be thinking about that incident as often as he does, and he definitely shouldn't be so giddy about it. It was hotter than it had any right to be, watching you almost murder someone on his account. It also made his heart flutter with a whole array of feelings he can't even begin to name. While Xaden obviously doesn't need your protection, the fact that you're willing to publicly stand up for him means a lot. The knowledge that you got so angry in defense of him, that you wielded enough water to flood a whole stairway without even meaning to because someone had been talking shit about him... Just thinking about it makes him more emotional than he'd like.
But while your signet can be wild and destructive, the water is usually gentle. It's an accurate reflection of you, he thinks, untamed and unpredictable, inherently soft but just as capable of terrible harm when provoked. When you're calm and in control, the water flows steadily along like the ever present stream of your chatter, lively and somehow soothing at the same time. Xaden enjoys watching it, how it can flow through even the smallest crack, how it glitters in the light. He enjoys watching you wield it even more, the look of concentration on your face, the beaming smile when you get it to do what you want. It's hypnotizing. A dangerous distraction he really can't afford. He loses track of everything else all too easily when he's with you. You're an undertow, irresistibly pulling him in, and Xaden would happily drown in your sweet waters.
When his lips finally meet yours for the first time, you taste as sweet as Xaden's favorite chocolate cake, and he's instantly addicted.
Afterward, he's not even sure how it happened. You'd been sitting in commons after doing homework together, enjoying a few more minutes of quiet in each other's presence before turning in for the night. You'd rested your head on his shoulder, smiling up at him as he teased you about already being tired so early in the evening, the only other sound the dripping of the melting snow outside the window. Then, before he even knew what he was doing, Xaden had leaned down and kissed you.
Lying in bed that night, he still can't believe it. Even harder to believe is the fact that you'd kissed back, smiling from ear to ear and gracing him with another peck of your lips when he'd wished you a good night and fled to his room. He still feels the ghost of your lips against his, imagines he can still taste you as he licks them.
Trying to form a coherent thought feels like swimming through an ocean of thick, cloying sweet honey. When he closes his eyes, there's only you. Your bright smile and soft eyes, the sound of your laugh, the feeling of your lips, over and over again. The tiny part of him still capable of logic is telling him he made a mistake, that he should stay the fuck away from you. Indulging the feelings for you, which he is no longer able to deny, can't lead anywhere good. He should turn back while he still can, for your sake as much as his own.
You deserve someone nicer, someone you won't be in danger for associating with, who doesn't have so much to hide. Someone who can openly worship the ground you walk on, prioritize you over everything else. Xaden wishes he could be that person, but the burden he took on after his father's death won't allow it.
He plans on telling you as much, but when he sees you in the hall the next morning, he can't bring himself to get the words out. Your face lights up at the sight of him, the awareness of the joy his presence brings you making his heart ache. Then you come skipping over and peck his cheek, first making sure nobody is watching, which has Xaden melting all over again. No, as much as he knows he should end this before it can really start, he simply can't.
You walk to breakfast in companionable silence, which Xaden is very grateful for. He's not ready to talk about whatever this is that's developing between you. You'll have to, eventually, he knows. He'll have to decide if he wants to accept that he's smitten and just see where this will go, vulnerability and problems that would come with it and all, or if he wants to try and shut you out. It's barely a choice, considering how he loathes every moment he's apart from you. He should have never allowed himself to get this close in the first place, but now it's too late.
"You shouldn't be seen with me so much," he tells you a few days later. The both of you are late for math because you'd been too busy making out in an empty corridor to hear the bells, and he can't help but worry what everyone will think when they see you walk in together, kiss-swollen lips and all. "People will say you associate with traitors."
The roll of your eyes is a stark contrast to the gentle tone of your voice when you reply. "People see us together all the time, Xaden. It's not any different just because we're more than friends now. And I don't care what they think, anyway. You're not a traitor, and anyone who thinks you are is an idiot and doesn't matter."
Xaden has to bite his lip to keep silent. If only you knew what he's been up to. Dragging you into the revolution is the last thing he wants, and yet, he can't help but imagine how much nicer it all would be with you by his side. With a sense of justice as strong as yours, you would certainly want to help if you knew the truth of what's out there. No matter. He's not going to put you into that danger, not with how uncertain everything still is.
Twice him and Garrick have managed to smuggle weapons out now, chancing upon a friendly drift by mere luck the first time. Twice is not enough to determine whether they'll get away with it in the long run. For all he knows, someone could already be suspecting them — which is exactly why you should not be seen with him. Even unaware as you are, it's not safe.
And what if you catch on? Xaden knows you know he has secrets, and adores you even more for not pushing the matter, but eventually, your curiosity is bound to get the best of you. If you find out about the weapons runs, he'll either have to tell you what leadership has been hiding — which will sound like madness when he has no way to prove it — or let you believe him to be a traitor without reason. He can't imagine either.
Unfortunately, you choose just then to say, "You know, I missed you at dinner yesterday."
Xaden acknowledges your comment with a nod but doesn't reply, unwilling to lie but unable to tell you that he'd snuck out with Garrick to deliver the weapons they'd stolen for the fliers.
"I'm not saying that because I want to stalk you or anything," you continue. It's become sort of a running joke between the two of you to call the other a stalker for such observations. "It's just that you had me worried. Maybe next time you could let me know when you're going to be busy?"
"Yeah. I can do that," Xaden says, praying you won't ask where he's been.
"Thank you." You smile, briefly halting your steps to give him another kiss, and Xaden is too lost in the sweetness of it to notice you've already reached the classroom until you open the door.
Despite his resolution to not let your relationship — or whatever it is — progress any further, he does. It's like any time he's near you, he loses all common sense.
Sgaeyl is getting annoyed with him, telling him to make up his mind. It is clear he's already made his decision, she says, so he might as well commit to it. She's right, of course, even if Xaden hates to admit it.
He doesn't want to be the selfish asshole he feels he's being by letting himself bask in your presence every chance he gets, by allowing himself to dream of a future with you by his side. It's unattainable, no matter how much he wants it, and yet there's a tiny part of him that dares to hope and refuses to settle for less. You may not have actually talked about your feelings so far, but Xaden knows you want a real, deeper relationship with him as much as he does. It could all be so perfect, if there weren't all those responsibilities Xaden has to think of, the lives depending on him. He can't drag you into that mess in good conscience; just imagining that inherent joy leaving your eyes as the truth destroys your faith in humanity makes him feel sick.
Maybe he could be with you without letting you find out? You always respect his privacy, never probe about the secrets you know he has.
But no, he can't keep you in the dark forever. He'll tell you, sooner or later. You deserve to know the truth, terrible as it is. You deserve to fight by his side, if you so choose. Whatever horrors the future holds, Xaden wants to face them together with you.
"I don't know if this is such a good idea," he admits one night, lying in your bed. One last, half-hearted attempt to make you see he's bad for you. And if you brush it off like you always do, he'll accept that you want him too, consequences be damned.
"What isn't?"
"Us."
"Why not?" you ask, voice as soft as the drizzle of rain falling outside the window.
There's more than a dozen reasons he could list, but most of them have to do with matters he can't — won't — tell you about. Someday he will, if the world keeps turning long enough, but for the time being, it's better you don't know.
"I'm not sweet like you," he mumbles instead.
You just smile, the way you always do when he's being difficult. "No, I guess not. But you're not the bad guy you want people to think you are, either."
"You can't possibly know that."
He thinks of everything you don't know, the secrets he's hiding. Would you still think the same of him if you knew the truth about him, everything he really is?
"I do, though. You're not a bad guy," you repeat with a gentleness he doesn't deserve. "You're just you. A survivor. Maybe a bit broody. But that's okay, 'cause I love you just the way you are."
Your fingers brush a few stray hairs from his forehead, and the last of Xaden's resolve crumbles. Neither of you had dared use the word love so far; hearing it now, Xaden wants you to say it over and over again.
"Good. Because you're not getting rid of me anymore."
"No?"
"No. Even if you probably should."
"Good." You smile, ignoring the second half of what he said, and brush your lips against his. "Now stop worrying so much and go to sleep."
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