#and even if I have to some degree come to terms with that
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scarnatlover · 2 days ago
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Yours is in red underlined
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Pairing: Natasha Romanoff x Electrokinesis!Reader
Summary: Years ago, Natasha Romanoff and Y/N Y/L/N, a Red Room guard, shared a forbidden love. Y/N helped Natasha escape, but was captured and brainwashed by HYDRA, losing all memory of their love. Years later, they meet again as enemies, but Natasha still recognizes Y/N as the woman she once loved. Determined to uncover her lost memories, Natasha begins a painful fight to awaken Y/N and free her from HYDRA's influence. Will Natasha be able to rekindle the spark between her and Y/N or will theirs be forgotten hearts forever?
Warnings: dark themes, violence, torture, whipping, restraining, cutting, skin, sewing, brainwashing, blood, gore, name calling, mention of death, fainting.
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Fear.
What is fear?.
“Emotional state consisting of a sense of insecurity, confusion and anxiety in the face of a real or imaginary danger or in the face of something or a fact that is or is believed to be harmful: more or less intense depending on the person and the circumstances, it takes on the character of a strong and sudden disturbance, which also manifests itself with physical reactions, when the danger comes unexpectedly, takes you by surprise or in any case appears imminent”: definition of fear
“Again”
It is a primary emotion, present since always in both the human race and the animal kingdom. Like all emotions, fear has an adaptive function, in fact it protects the individual in the face of a danger or a threat (real or imaginary) and is invaluable from the first years of life.
“You were nothing before we found you”.
We refer to fear with different terms based on its degree of intensity: Fear, Anxiety, Fear, Phobia, Panic, Terror and Horror.
Fear is the least intense form of fear and is determined when a situation promises pleasure but, at the same time, also pain: there is the perception of the possibility of losing pleasure, but one still moves towards it. In this case the threat of pain and that of pleasure are equivalent, generating a situation of conflict while waiting for some clue capable of tipping the scales to one side or the other.
Fear emerges when the context is dominated by the threat of pain or its perception: in this case one is pervaded by the desire to escape or in any case to distance oneself from the source of pain, whether real or imaginary. When the anxiety in front of a certain object, animal or event is considerable and cannot be controlled by reason, it is called phobia.
This causes a reaction that is significantly disproportionate to the situation being faced. For this reason, the subject who has phobias carefully avoids all situations that could trigger his anxiety. Therefore, his social life can be significantly affected. Examples include claustrophobia, agoraphobia, and centrophobia. When fear is at its maximum and is charged with a premonition of death, it is called panic. This is defined by Galimberti as an "acute episode of anxiety characterized by emotional tension and intolerable terror that hinders adequate organization of thought and action". The panic situation is related to claustrophobia.
Terror is the extreme form of fear, even more intense than panic, where the impulse to escape is so high that an immediate solution is sought: in this case the individual chooses to retreat inside himself. Terror is a real escape inward, so much so that the muscles can become paralyzed in an attempt to reduce the sensitivity of the organism during the presumed or real agony.
Horror is a feeling of strong fear and disgust aroused by what appears cruel and repugnant in a physical or moral sense. By extension, horror can indicate a fact, an object or a situation that arouses such a feeling.
“You will never be enough”
Many people have common fears, but you. Oh, if only I had only a few. There are so many that you probably don’t even know them all. But no fear you have ever felt can be compared to what you felt in those moments.
In the moments when you were tied to the bed, with ropes that left marks on your wrists, when they pushed your head under water and continued to do so until you passed out, when they left you in a small room without food and water for days. And the memories continue. Those memories that every day, constantly, cloud your mind, make you feel even more angry towards the people who took you. For the conditions in which they made you live. For how they changed you.
The footsteps that echoed in the hallway, getting closer and closer to your room, were heavy, full of anger and rage. Somehow, it gave you a very clear idea of ​​what was waiting for you.
Those same footsteps stopped right in front of your door, then slammed it open and entered that small space where you are forced to spend your few free moments.
“Get up” said the hoarse voice of the man in front of you. “You’ve done it big this time, you mutt” he approached, forcefully lifting you to your feet.
You stumbled, but the strong grip the man had on your arm prevented you from falling. The two of you walked in a direction that was now familiar to you. The red door, given by the rust that had formed on it, was getting closer and closer, and with it the consequences of his actions.
The two guards in front of the door moved when they saw you coming and opened the door, both with an evil smile plastered on their faces, knowing exactly what was about to happen to you and ready to hear the noises they would hear.
The guard who had initially escorted you now led you to the center of the room. It had no windows, the only light came from a light bulb attached to the ceiling, right above you, the stone walls almost made you feel the pain that the other test subjects and prisoners had felt and among those screams of pain, you could hear yours too.
The guard made you undress, leaving you only in your underwear. The chains that he then tied to your limbs were heavy. Those same chains that you had been attached to for hours were sometimes no longer your first thought, not even the noise of the whip with the metal tip, which dragged along the floor emitting an annoying screech. No, your only thought was whether you would actually come out alive, and if so, how much longer you would last. He circled you, stopping right in front of you and lifting your head with a knife.
“Were these not enough for you?” he asked, smiling evilly at you and tracing the scars on the sides of your mouth with the tip of the knife. “Obviously not,” he pressed against your cheek, glaring at you with hatred and causing a few drops of your blood to fall to the ground.
You still remember the pain and the satisfied face of the person who had caused them. You remember one of your attackers holding your head still while the other, without flinching, pushed the blade against your skin. You remember your eyes filling with tears and the two of them laughing at the scene. You remember your mouth filling with blood, that metallic taste that was unknown to you before, now oh so familiar. You remember being taken to a doctor who, without caring about your pain, began to sew your cheeks back together.
He spat at you, then returned to his starting position behind you.
Your back arched as the whip came into abrupt contact with your skin. Your hands gripped the chains so tight that if they had been normal, they would have broken. You could feel the skin splitting open, wounds that were now almost completely healed reopening, blood running down your back. You felt like you were on fire. The subsequent lashes were never in the same place, but each time they hit an open wound it felt like a limb was being torn from your body. You could hear the laughter of the man behind you and, unfortunately thanks to your super soldier hearing, that of the guards outside the door.
You were always taught never to grimace in pain or show signs of weakness in general. Maybe that's why you didn't cry; or maybe, more simply, because you didn't have the strength to do so. The first few times they tortured you, your screams could be heard from thousands of miles away, but now it was as if they had ripped out your vocal cords. You didn't even know what your voice sounded like anymore. Was it high-pitched, like the little girl who was kidnapped all those years ago, or hoarse, like the monster they created, or soft, like you spoke to that red-haired Russian girl you'd met all those years ago, during your time in the Red Room? You couldn't have known that. 
You didn’t know if your mind went blank for the rest of the punishment or if you fainted, you just knew that you didn’t feel the last lashes. It was almost as if your body was a mannequin. You could feel the skin of the whip on your skin, but you didn’t feel any pain. But you could see, or imagine, a very well defined, but above all very familiar silhouette. That very bright red hair, those sharp green eyes, those full lips, that body, those shapes that some time ago had been your favorite.
Natalia. Your Natalia. The girl you, against your will, began training during your time in the Red Room after the unexpected death of your predecessor. The girl with whom you formed an unbreakable bond in such a short time. The girl who introduced you to that feeling that still consumes you just thinking about it.
You muttered her name under your breath, but in that dark, windowless room, the sound was amplified. And, unfortunately for you, the murmur of that name, which even now, years later, still instilled fear, was heard by your torturer. He stopped, the hand that held the whip still behind his head, ready to deliver yet another violent and painful lash. His face showed shock and disbelief, but it was quickly replaced by an expression of anger mixed with terror. He quickly dropped the whip, and quickly returned in front of you, kneeling down and forcefully cupping your face in his hands, his fingers applying pressure against the hideous scars on your cheeks.
“What the fuck did you just say, mutt?” he spat, his spit landing on your face. You closed your eyes, not wanting to look into the eyes of the man in front of you. You tried to hide your face by turning it towards the floor, but his grip was too tight. “Say that again, if you dare.”
Silence.
The small, dark, gray room was deadly silent. The only sound that could be heard was the mix of yours and his labored breathing. You looked up at the man’s eyes, but this time there was no more anger or fear on his face, replaced by a smirk.
“Did I hear that right?” he began, after you whispered the forbidden name again. “Is that the name of that cheating bitch Black Widow? The girl who made you weak? The bitch who’s the reason these scars were made on your face?” he laughed.
“Did you really think she fell in love with you, that you two had something special? Oh, honey, she just used you to escape that shithole that is the Red Room. No one could love a monster, not a murderer, not even a monster himself,” he continued.
“I’m not a monster,” you muttered, watching the man’s face harden and turn red with anger. “You made me one,” you spat in his face, smiling at his shocked face. Apart from the first few times, you had never spoken to anyone like that, too scared of the consequences. But you had nothing left to lose.
He looked at you for a few seconds and then called out to the guards outside the door. They untied you from the heavy chains and forcefully dragged you out of the small room, walking down the long corridor that smelled of death, probably from the multitude of now-deceased bodies that remained in the basement to rot.
They pushed you into another room, this time much larger and much brighter thanks to the many lights, but still without windows. You realized how heavy the consequences of your actions would be only when you saw the chair in the middle of the room, surrounded by all the other utensils.
“No no no no, please. I’ll be good, I swear. Please, I beg you. Everything but the chair” you screamed, your voice full of terror. They ignored you, without even deigning to look at you and, with a few struggles, they tied you to the seat. You started to squirm, trying in every way to free yourself from the straps, but one of the two guards, positioning himself behind the chair, held your face still while the other, after briefly heating the blade of his knife with a blowtorch, started to cut your cheeks, in the exact same spot as the original carvings.
This time, unlike before, you screamed in pain, hot tears streaming down your face and mixing with the blood, landing on your wounds and starting to burn. This went on for quite some time, the guard only stopping when a deep, raspy voice ordered him to stop and move away from your painful form. Your vision was blurry, the figure in front of you unidentifiable, but that didn’t matter. He touched your cut and bloody cheeks, pressing hard against the cuts, making you moan in pain. “Oh, how I love it when whores like you moan for me,” he muttered. He motioned for another individual to come over and position the machine above your head in the correct position. The iron was cold against your skin, which brought relief for a millisecond.
“Wipe her,” he ordered, not a shred of hesitation in his words.
“But Sir, she is too weak. She may not survive,” another voice replied, higher pitched and with an Eastern European accent, very different from your Western one
“I told you to do something, and you will do it, without question. Wipe her.”
The doctor approached the control panel of the machine, and with uncertainty, he lowered a large lever and immediately the room echoed for a second time with your cries of pain. The procedure took a long time, almost longer than usual, but it was much less precise and effective, since the last thing you thought about before giving in to the pain and passing out was the very person who put you in these conditions.
Natalia Romanova.
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literaryvein-reblogs · 2 days ago
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Hello! I was wondering if you had any advice/sources on how to write relationships between siblings where one has ASPD (specifically sociopathic-inclined)?
Writing Notes: ASPD Relationships
Antisocial personality disorder - a pattern of disregard for, and violation of, the rights of others, criminality, impulsivity, and a failure to learn from experience.
In order to be diagnosed with antisocial personality disorder, an individual must show a continuing pattern of disregard for and violation of the rights of others, occurring since age 15, with three (or more) of the following:
Failure to conform to laws and social norms (repeatedly breaking laws).
Deceitfulness (repeated lying or conning others for personal profit or pleasure).
Impulsivity or failure to plan ahead.
Irritability and aggressiveness (repeated physical fights or assaults).
Reckless disregard for safety of self or others.
Consistent irresponsibility (repeated failure to sustain consistent work behavior or honor financial obligations).
Lack of remorse (being indifferent to having hurt, mistreated, or stolen from another).
In addition, the individual must be at least age 18 years and there must be evidence of conduct disorder before age 15.
Sources: 1 2 3 4 5 6
Hi! Here are some signs and symptoms of ASPD you can use to guide you in writing scenes involving sibling relationships of your character with ASPD. Make them more specific to fit your story, so for example (#4), write about repeated fights with their sibling.
Here are more notes, mostly focusing on interpersonal relationships, from different sources that can guide your writing to show your character's relationship with their sibling (sources linked above). Choose which ones are most appropriate, and alter as needed for your story:
A person with antisocial personality disorder may...
exploit, manipulate or violate the rights of others
lack concern, regret or remorse about other people's distress
behave irresponsibly and show disregard for normal social behaviour
have difficulty sustaining long-term relationships
be unable to control their anger
lack guilt, or not learn from their mistakes
blame others for problems in their lives
repeatedly break the law or take part in criminal activity, but if they do, they are not sorry for their hurtful deeds
be inconsiderate of the rights of others
be deceitful and intimidating in relationships
not value "playing by the rules." They do so only if they are threatened with punishment. This attitude leads to a tendency to exploit others. They take advantage of the fairness or softheartedness of others, and they feel indifferent toward or even contemptuous of their victims.
have little, if any, ability to be intimate with another person. Any lasting relationships are likely to involve some degree of abuse or neglect.
sometimes be charming and can be good actors who use lies and distortion to keep relationships going. Some with antisocial personality disorder have no goal beyond the pleasure of deceiving or harming others.
appear to care for no one but themselves. They may be able to understand the emotions of others. But they don't suffer any shame or guilt about the pain they may be causing. Instead, they use their knowledge of others' weaknesses to gain favors or to manipulate an outcome.
not take responsibility for any of his or her own suffering. He or she may blame others when things go badly. Many with this disorder do suffer, because they can be self-defeating, and never get to enjoy the many pleasures that come to people who are better able to have mutual and satisfying relationships.
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scorpius-rising · 4 months ago
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The current trend of 'anti-capitalist' (for want of a better term) positive affirmations leaves me fundamentally cold. It's not that I don't agree with the sentiments that 'rest is important', 'your worth is not defined by your productivity', etc., but at this point they're just the trend of motivational posters of the 90s and early 2000s looping back around again.
They can so easily feel like a substitute for engagement with awkward realities and the sobering nature of material conditions
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shigarakins · 2 months ago
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i remember when the bodysnatching happened and how hardly anyone else in the fandom (or what i saw of the fandom) seemed to find it as horrifying as i did. then the same thing happened again with the mind invasion. and yes the fact that the mind invasion happened at all and not even the story gave much of a fuck about the fact that it did is still one of biggest gripes with the finale
#bnha#i know it's a shonen but ... come on#here's a character who has already been violated in such a deeply horrifying manner - let's go violate him some more#because yes invading someone's mind when they clearly do not want you to do that so you can take a peek at their deepest trauma and pain#and most private innermost thoughts - regardless of your intentions or the outcome - is a VIOLATION#also doesn't help that. tomura kind of died from this. like. he did. that's what happened.#deku invaded shigaraki's mind forced inner child therapy on him and then shigaraki died from it#like! ok then!#i mean sure i probably had a stronger reaction to it than the average person bc this is some very specific brand of nightmare fuel for me#and it's a shonen it's not that deep etc etc but man was that really necesary with this character no less. lmao!#this is why i still and always & forever will detest the idea of deku going around and telling everyone about shigaraki's past/tenko#would be feeling differently about it had there been some degree of... consent? but shigaraki didn't get to have a say in the matter at all#he didn't even get to voice his opinion on izuku potentially making it all public - didn't even give izuku permission to talk about it#like yeah including a scene like that would have probably disrupted the flow/taken up panel space unnecessarily#doesn't mean it wouldn't have been important to include#ig tomura could've also not died then he would've been able to tell people about it by himself on his own terms by his own choice but yknow#so glad that izuku apparently did know better and just kept that shit to himself ❤️#mine#not feeling all that#bnha critical#these days but this one still stirs something within me
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thedreadvampy · 11 days ago
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not to keep waffling on about this but a thing I have noticed in many areas of my life, from protests to marital arts to mosh pits, is that
while I'm not particularly good at proprioception, have no depth perception and frankly mediocre core strength for someone who's been weight training for 2 years, and at times in my life I have just Fallen Over Regularly For No Reason because my legs stopped being legs for a second
I am, for whatever reason, basically impossible to push over or move through force
like I don't know if I just have an unusually low centre of gravity or just fuckin stubborn or what but I am just preternaturally good at being Hard To Move
some of it is a learnable skill but I think I just have short little tree trunk legs and solid body mass and when I plant my feet and drop my weight down even a bit I become like unto a boulder. it's a fun quirk of my character build.
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dominote · 11 months ago
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i think light yagami is "socially adept" in terms of being able to reason out relatively well what to say and do to come off as a harmless and good and polite young man who is likeable to be around. however i do not think "socially adept" (or "neurotypical") typically comes with having to preface every other normal-passing action and statement with a minor crisis of "ah shit. quick, what would i say/do in response to this if i was light yagami, a normal and nice and respectable young man?"
everyone likes to talk about him talking about kira in third person but can we acknowledge that he also talks about LIGHT in third person. i'm not adding manga panels at 3:57am but y'all know exactly which ones i mean
#light is decent at masking but he is NOT coming off as perfect to anyone who looks at him with a critical eye. like L or near#it's just that a lot of people take him at face value#he's handsome he gets top grades his dad is the police chief his family adores him girls like him etc#and he gets to skate off of that a lot until someone comes around and questions the mask#he unravels so fast once he gets closer to L. he fucks up the misa thing so badly even HE has to admit to L's face#that kira probably didn't think things through with the second kira and kind of panicked#ughhhhhhhhhhh i have so many thoughts about him. he works very hard to come off as socially competent. it's a learned skill not innate#i firmly believe there is some shit going on w light in terms of mental conditions. HOWEVER#i also believe he was relatively 'normal' up until the death note sent a lot of that shit spiralling#lots of mentally ill people live pretty normal lives it turns out! a lot of us can get by and sort of manage!#even if it means masking and coping as needed#i don't think you have to be mentally ill to react to the death note the way light did#i do think it oiled some clockwork that was already ticking though#anyway. light is socially competent to some degree because he tries to be. sometimes it backfires. sometimes he misses. normal stuff#trying to say he is objectively socially adept or inept is futile though#but ig what is death note without black and white thinking and what is the dn fandom without diving into the nuances under the surface layer
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lwcina · 8 months ago
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the fact that the us government can continue funding and arming a genocide despite massive public opposition really highlights how inherently non-democratic the united states is
#almost like the idea of a representative demcracy is both historically undemocratic and inherently is incapable of being so#by historically i mean that representative democracies have always meant the creation of a category of ‘citizen’ that is above ‘non-citizen#even the civilization where the term democracy comes from was patriarchal and had fucking slavery#not chattel slavery but (hot take) non chattel slavery is still bad.#also fundamentally one person can literally not represent the wishes of a large collection of people who have only geography in common.#theyre going to want different things!!!#now the idea of if democracy is inherently a virtue is like. another topic. but i will say that like seeing the history of like the#popular sovreignty movement wrt to slavery really made me question it. just because a lot of people want something to happen doesnt#actually mean it should happen. white people voted to legalize slavery#kind of where the old ‘minority’ terminology comes in. just by numbers alone in the states that had these votes it wasnt like in the south#where in the south because of plantations the actual population majority in some places was black.#but in those midwestern new states even if everyone person there could have voted. white people would still be the vasy majority.#honestly to a degree pointing out that none of the societies that have claimed to be democracies have truly been democratic is…#i guess the primary value in it is to challenge people who take state mythologies at face level#a very large population that i often forget exists.#the ‘they cant do that its illegal’ types.#anyways. if we consider that every society in documented history has had some type of violence and oppression#and if we believe that people are NOT inherently selfish/violent#it follows that what we need to do is something different than what we have been doing.#not just different from what we are doing right now. but different from what we have been doing for the past centuries#but also i can imagine that societies and ways of living that aren’t legible to the status quo or just went undocumented for other reasons#may have been more egalitarian. and we dont know due to erasure (either intentional or non-intentional)#both erasure and a fundamental inability of historians to comprehend it. similar to how cishet historians who cant fathom the idea of#transness or lesbianism talk about things.
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padfootastic · 2 years ago
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Its tragic that Regulus died but it's more tragic that he didn't have to. Kreacher could Apparate him from the cave. And if Regulus wanted to protect his family, his secret death achieves this how? He just disappears and Vold isn't looking for him or punishing deserter' family? Isn't worried that the boy whose house-elf he borrowed to test horcrux protection vanished? But the again, Vold wasn't shook when Kreacher showed up at Bella's in 5th book though elf supposedly died in that damn cave. XD
everything about regulus feels like an exercise in didn’t have to tbh
like yeah i know heroic teenager sacrificing himself blah blah but,,,,after reading a lot of fics that actually focus on worldbuilding/plot/side characters--im not entirely convinced that'sd what it was. like. if harry & co hadn't found the locket by sheer luck, then there's a v good chance things wouldnt have ended the way they had. reg ended up making things harder in his quest to vanquish the dark lord or wtv.
and like, im not even trying to bash here, but when i look at regulus the top character traits i see are arrogance, ambition, inflated sense of self worth, recklessness, and single mindedness (if thats valid). i mean,,,our boy could've easily asked sirius for help, he knew for a fact that his brother was on the other side, but he didnt. why? i cant see anything but ego there. he didnt even try. he was nowhere close to putting the cause above his own self.
but also,,,the fact that he actually went in the cave, presumably knowing he would die,,,that kinda indicates something much sadder for me. like, why else would he be so ok w the fact if he wasnt, say, unbearably suffocated and hopelessly over his head? if there wasnt latent suicidal ideation or, at the very least, a desire to get out, get away, not be here.
like, idk. i cant think of why he wouldnt ask kreacher to apparate him back/help him escape when he knew house elves could bypass the magic until he'd just fully accepted (perhaps even wished for) his death ykno?
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etherical-angel · 1 year ago
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oh yea in 3 days its gonna be my 1 month anniversary of being in japan???? it literally has barely felt like a weak wtf(<- going thru the horrors)
#def forming some..new alters from this lol#been journalling abt my delusions most of the time just to stay sane(which is what i'd do at home anyway)#i always say shit like 'yea i cant talk to my alters' which im coming to terms with not entirely being true#its just not as much as it used to be. but the more isolated i am the more i notice it#(i was supperrrrr isolated during that og period which is why it got the way it did)#but i think it just comes with getting used to it. its more mixed n blurry when 2 alters are fronting so it makes it less distinct#but there is dialog happening. whether it just be back and forth or a helper coming in to get me thru the night.#'me' being whoevers fronting obv#like. i am in a small room that only fits a bed n a small desk n fridge. the air conditioner kills me stimulation wise. but i need it on.#outside its 29 degrees(hot) at NIGHT but i fight thru it just so i can go on my nightly sanity swings. i cant see the stars.#theres been a cold going around for weeks and i cant do anything about it.#at least the anticipation anxiety for my potential apartment has died down a bit..not entirely but its easier now#idk. even tho i know i'll probably only get the apartment for like 4 months(IF i get it) i have to tell myself its for my benifit#its not a fix all forever home. its a place to finally chill for a bit. to go to the beach. to go on hikes in the forest.#to have a bigger enclosure all to myself#godddd i need to buy a water filter i hate having to go BUY WATER everyday(<- doesnt trust the tap water. per usual.)
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elysiansparadise · 3 months ago
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Part of Fortune in astrology
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The Part of Fortune is an Arabic part that represents the luck that we naturally attract, from the areas of our life in which we can attract greater opportunities to the area of ​​our life in which we can find greater satisfaction and success. Some also attribute this point to the natural talents with which we are born. You can calculate it on Astro.com in the small "Additional Objects" tab. As a personal recommendation, I recommend checking which house(s) the POF ruler(s) fall into and check the description of it too.
🔘Part of fortune in the 1st house: These people can attract luck very easily throughout their lives, whether taking the path they want, due to their personality or even their physical appearance. They can be considered charismatic and very attractive by other people. Ease to achieve everything they want or put their mind into. They will attract a lot of luck if they decide to work in areas that allow them to deal with the public or be public figures. They tend to have the ability to light up the room or lift the spirits of others. Things may seem to naturally align in their favor. It is possible that any project they start will flourish quickly and give results just as quick. They can have strong self-confidence and, without seeking it, attract a lot of reassurance from others. They tend to be seen as lucky, privileged by other people. They make very good decisions even if they decide based on intuition. They feel and are protected by divinity and because of this trust they have in it, the intensity increases.
🔲Part of fortune in Aries: These people usually come out triumphant in any competition, easily defeating enemies or doing better than them. Many chances of success when you work on your own and dare to put your ideas into action. Leadership skills or greater success when they guide a group of people. Confiding in your abilities and daring to take risks can result in great experiences and opportunities. These people may stand out for being the first to do something and may be seen as pioneers. Ease of motivating and empowering people, you share and spread your energy and drive to others. There is no challenge or difficulty that they cannot overcome. Great vitality and strength, as well as healthy self-esteem.
🖤Aries degrees [01°, 13°, 25°]: They tend to make the right decisions throughout their lives. Great vitality and strength, both mental and physical. Opportunities to start projects that will bring them success. Ease for reaching powerful positions. They will enjoy victories and triumphs of all kinds. They take wise risks that can bring a lot of satisfaction to their lives. Their independence it’s the key to their success.
🔘Part of fortune in the 2nd house: They may have better luck attracting stability in every sense, especially economic ones. They will more easily attract things and/or opportunities that meet their needs, things arrive just when they need them. They can achieve success by starting their own businesses, making investments or making their hobbies their business or source of work. These people have a high and strong self-esteem, they are endowed with strong self-love. Their innate talents and abilities can be the door to success for these natives. You may more frequently attract people who value your efforts and may be appreciated for your presence and actions. Stability can come in your life, constant periods of satisfaction and things that accompany you in the long term, contributing favorably to you. You can attract many resources and tools throughout your life that open doors for you [money or other material goods, connections, learning, information, among others].
🔲Part of fortune in Taurus: For these natives, life will be filled with opportunities to explore pleasure in its different forms, from the most mundane to the deepest, from the emotional to the material realm. They can enjoy many moments of stability in their lives and attract things that bring happiness and comfort to their lives in the long term. These people can easily attract everything they want, in general they have a great power of attraction. They are people who can be endowed with a lot of beauty and natural charm. They can easily attract stable connections that provide them with constant support. The universe will remove from your paths everything that messes with your peace and will fill you with better things shortly after.
🖤Taurus degrees [02°, 14°, 26°]:People endowed with a lot of physical attractiveness, elegance and very strong confidence. They can more easily attract stability in their lives, more specifically economic ones. Ease to materialize your ideas and make them prosper or grow. They give others a sense of stability. When they act based on their values ​​they can attract a lot of luck.
🔘Part of fortune in the 3rd house: They will attract many opportunities to undertake short trips, likewise, very positive and satisfying things await them through it. They can easily excel during their student life, whether academically, socially, or both.They will have great luck working with others and being part of communities of any kind, and they can be highly appreciated in these. They may have a good relationship with siblings, cousins ​​or neighbors, or at least one who is really supportive. They can attract people who are naturally very brotherly towards them. People may like to be with them, as they exude allure and can easily captivate others. Ease of communication, their writing can become recognized or they can be praised for the way you communicate. Ease of forming and creating satisfactory relationships with the people around them, or at least cordial ones. You tend to have an innate positive impact on the people around you.
🔲Part of fortune in Gemini: Ease of acquiring diverse knowledge and standing out in many different areas from a very young age. They have a natural talent for connecting with others through words, whether verbally or in writing. It should be added that they stand out for communicating very accurately what they want to say. They can be successful in the sales sector and stand out for their social intelligence. They can easily mentally stimulate others, challenge them and entertain them at the same time. They tend to be easily recognized by their intelligence, by one of their hobbies and by their wit. Many times they can start doing things out of mere curiosity which can lead them to success or give them a lot of satisfaction. 
🖤Gemini degrees [03°, 15°, 27°]: Natural talent for writing, great communicators and can be seen as very charismatic and appealing ones. Gifted with a very capable mind that can lead them to be very successful. What they say can have a high impact on others. They can learn facts or things that seem random but that can be significant on other occasions. They attract many resources of all kinds.
🔘Part of fortune in the 4th house: These natives will have ease and success building their own home, making it a place where they feel calm, content and fulfilled. They can attract more stable things, from opportunities to long-term emotional bonds. They find happiness and satisfaction by being at home or doing things that bring them comfort. They may have greater emotional stability and do not depend on others to feel better or worse. They may have a supportive family or a member of their family that they connect with on all levels and provide them with unconditional support.They will easily attract people who become family to them. They are people with great emotional responsibility and awareness, which will attract opportunities and happiness to them. Being around these natives usually gives a feeling of coming home, they have the ability to make others feel good and give them comfort without trying too hard. They enjoy and get a lot of satisfaction when they can spend time alone. 
🔲Part of fortune in Cancer: They gain satisfaction from taking care of their emotional well-being, even if they take small actions to do so. These people will easily attract people's empathy and support. People feel naturally comfortable around them and they have a charm that inspires adoration and tenderness in others. They can attract strong bonds with women or people with feminine energy that bring them satisfaction and success. Being in touch with your inner child brings you many opportunities. They have the ability to nourish others emotionally, spiritually and mentally, as well as quickly make any project they have in mind flourish. Life will give you many heart-warming experiences and the ability to create beautiful and meaningful memories.
🖤Cancer degrees [04°, 16°, 28°]: Ease of moving others emotionally and understanding the needs of others. They give comfort to others with their mere presence. Their family ties can bring them luck. They can be welcomed by other families and treated as part of them. Talent for reading people, high emotional intelligence. Likely to attract luck when keeping their plans to themselves. 
🔘Part of fortune in the 5th house: Chance seems to be on their side, they can be very lucky in games, and they seem to have a strong power of attraction. Their hobbies and talents can be sources of success, it can give them opportunities to improve their lives or even make them gain a lot of recognition. They can attract attention very easily, gain fame more quickly than other people, and gain the esteem of others without trying too hard. They are people who stand out for their attractiveness and can attract suitors or couples with economic or job stability, who bring them a lot of happiness or who benefit them in some way. They can obtain great benefits if they trust their talents and potential and decide to make their ideas come true and if they dare to create. These natives contribute positively to their relationships as well, filling their partners with motivation and joy. Opportunities and good luck as they embrace themselves and speak their minds. They can be very fertile people and if they want to be parents, they can enjoy a great relationship with their children. 
🔲Part of fortune in Leo: These people tend to attract people's attention, appreciation and admiration more easily. They stand out enormously for their talents and will enjoy great success when they make use of them. Ease of entertaining and amusing people. They gain recognition for their talents and for being themselves. They can generate a lot of income through a hobby. They can attract plenty of situations in which they are or can be the center of attention, and can stand out greatly if they take those opportunities. When they put their energy and passion into a specific action, activity or project, it is easier for them to achieve surprising and satisfactory results for the natives. Very likely to attract fame and recognition on a large scale.
🖤Leo degrees [05°, 17°, 29°]: They will more easily attract success, recognition or praise from others. Great creativity, ability to easily shine in any aspect of their lives. They attract positive things when they are authentic and themselves. They have strong self-esteem and awareness of their own abilities. They have a lot of charisma and know that they can achieve many things on their own.
🔘Part of fortune in the 6th house: These people may have a particular ability that makes them stand out quite a bit and even be easily admired by others because of it. Natives of great intelligence and a work ethic that will make them stand out. They can enjoy an excellent work environment, easily earning the appreciation and respect of other co-workers, bosses or people under their supervision. They can recover from illnesses more easily. An ease to attract the support of others, often this being selfless and of great impact for the natives. After helping others, these people can return the favor on a larger scale to the native. A lot of success at work, ease of promotion and enjoying many benefits through this. Ease in dealing with animals of all kinds, they can feel comfortable around the native. They inspire confidence in others easily, and that is precisely what opens up many opportunities for them. Success at work and being seen as efficient and capable gives them enormous satisfaction.
🔲Part of fortune in Virgo: Their small actions have big positive impacts without even intending to. They can have a strong body capable of recovering from illnesses with ease. These natives may be highly respected and well regarded for some skill they have focused on developing. Their hard work brings them great rewards, often exceeding their expectations. Ease in making decisions and can make the best one in crisis situations. Order brings them happiness and they find satisfaction in doing small actions to take care of their well-being and body. They often bring clarity to other people's lives, as well as bringing them down to earth. Their rationality allows them to discern between various situations and take the one they like best.
🖤Virgo degrees [06°, 18°]: They attract luck when they dedicate themselves to jobs that require dedication, precision and perseverance. Greater success when they have a schedule or when they take charge of their lives themselves. They can be great communicators too, especially in writing. Equipped with a mind with great analytical capabilities.
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🔘Part of fortune in the 7th house: These natives have the ability to relate to other people and attract supportive ties into their lives. They can be easily liked by others and form positive relationships in which people truly seek the happiness of the native and of course, with people who adore the native. Good luck to partnerships of all kinds, both business and relationship. They can be easily accepted by other people. People may describe them as rays of light, not necessarily out of positivity, but because they genuinely like the company of natives. Much success, fortune and satisfaction in their marriage, they will love the person they choose to marry. Ease of resolving conflicts, both your own and those of other people. They can attract reciprocity frequently. They will be successful in legal situations of all kinds. Victory over their adversaries. They attract generous people into their lives. Natural charm that helps them advance, progress or brings them opportunities. They may marry someone influential or at a good point in their life.
🔲Part of fortune in Libra: They have a mix of charm and a sharp, analytical mind. People naturally feel drawn to their appearance and personality. They are very successful in social situations and enjoy great results working as a team. Graced with a seductive and attractive appearance. Ease of understanding people and what they go through. Success when forming relationships. They can attract people who help them progress, who genuinely love them, and who want to be there for the natives. Ease of connecting more easily with people and making them feel good in your presence. They have the ability to influence other people. Calm environments, with aesthetics that match that of the natives considerably increase your happiness and satisfaction. Success in jobs related to law, art or public relations.
🖤Libra degrees [07°, 19°]: Natural grace and ease of being well-liked by others. They easily attract people's interest. Great social skills that make them stand out. They are people who can be considered very attractive by people, both because of their features and the shape of their body. They can find themselves surrounded by people even without them looking for it. 
🔘Part of fortune in the 8th house: Wisdom and strength of spirit, these natives can be seen as immovable and powerful, people recognize their personal power making them easily earn respect. They emerge and overcome crises, becoming even wiser afterward. These people can easily attract the generosity of others, even being chosen to receive inheritances. They find satisfaction in getting to the bottom of things and knowing the truth. Success pursuing professions linked to analysis, research or the esoteric. Great understanding of the human psyche and behavior. Ability to read others and bare their souls. They attract opportunities when they delve into the unknown and explore aspects of life that are not visible to the naked eye. They have the ability to connect in a unique way with others, in a less superficial and more meaningful way. Ease to overcome fears and insecurities. Connections where they give themselves completely to each other provide them not only with emotional satisfaction, but also with opportunities for growth and success.
🔲Part of fortune in Scorpio: These natives have the ability to make big changes from the circle to which they belong, to a larger scale such as at the level of society; They easily change people's mindsets and bring awareness. Your intuition is one of your greatest tools and by using and following it you can make decisions that lead you to success. They may experience positions of power more frequently. Throughout their lives, they attract changes that change the course of their lives for the better. They will successfully face any adversity and will be reborn stronger. They attract success when they channel their passion into meaningful projects. They attract respect and admiration from others easily, and they enjoy a powerful reputation. Ease healing yourself and supporting others to heal.
🖤Scorpio degrees [08°, 20°]: These natives have great magnetism and an enormous ability to influence the masses or people around them. Strong intuition, they always know what is happening around them and this information comes to them without looking for it. They overcome tense situations more easily. They provide strength to others when they go through tense situations.
🔘Part of fortune in the 9th house: Many opportunities to travel and you can have a lot of luck and satisfaction through it. Success in the major college you decide to enter and many opportunities to progress and improve your life can come during that period of your life. These natives may have very helpful, generous and caring mentors towards them who will contribute positively to their lives. They can make important and beneficial connections with people from abroad. Life will fill you with opportunities to enjoy and live life, giving you many experiences that fill you spiritually. This is a lucky placement that makes them look like they have a lucky charm. On many occasions, if things don't go their way, better things come for them. These natives can have a lot of luck and protection when venturing into new or unknown areas for them. They are people endowed with wisdom and can find satisfaction through their spirituality, being in touch with their higher self or acting based on their beliefs. They may have an easier time being in high vibration.
🔲Part of fortune in Sagittarius: Life will provide you with opportunities to travel, expand your mind and live rewarding experiences that make your soul happy and satisfied. Success will come to them in fields such as education [from devoting yourself to it professionally, attending college or simply mastering the fields that you are most passionate about], when they travel, contact with other cultures, or when you start or begin in spirituality. They can be successful in forming long-term relationships with people who live far away or who are foreigners. They are likely to have many convenient and opportune circumstances throughout their lives.  The leaps of faith they take can make significant changes in their lives.
🖤Sagittarius degrees [09°, 21°]: They can easily connect with people very different from them. They mix well with both people their age and older people. Possibility of great experiences through travel. They may have greater opportunities for scholarships. Talent and ability for languages. Connecting with cultures other than their own gives them satisfaction.
🔘Part of fortune in the 10th house: These people can make better first impressions without needing to pretend. You have the ability to achieve success or have important achievements even from a young age. Influential and with the ability to relate to large amounts of people. Your work life will be full of success and you will feel truly satisfied with the path you decide to pursue. Many opportunities to grow professionally. You attract the admiration and respect of others without trying too hard. They tend to achieve their personal goals more easily. They can quickly gain recognition, popularity and fame, as well as earn the respect of more experienced or older people. They can reach high ranks more quickly than other people. Much success and luck in carrying out long-term plans, the results are more stable, long-lasting and match the ideas of the natives. Much success and luck in carrying out long-term plans, the results are more stable, long-lasting and match the ideas of the natives.
🔲Part of fortune in Capricorn: Their hard work brings results more quickly, and the results may be more satisfactory than the native expected. You will be able to achieve everything you ever imagined you wanted to have. Ease of attracting stable things into their lives, from jobs, relationships to favorable streaks. These natives can achieve important things at a young age, which brings them recognition and can increase their personal satisfaction. Greater ease in overcoming obstacles of all kinds. They reach positions of authority and can lead the people in their charge to progress and improve. They will achieve recognition with respect to the fields in which they work or those in which they put a lot of effort and time.
🖤Capricorn degrees [10°, 22°]: Ease of professional advancement. They are seen as professionals and very capable from a young age and thanks to this they are given opportunities. Talent to lead, start businesses. They are capable of giving direction to any thing or project and bringing it to success. Their discipline and hard work are always appreciated and the source of his greatest successes.
🔘Part of fortune in the 11th house: Following the causes they consider important and fighting for what they believe is right can bring a lot of fortune and popularity. Ease of acquiring money through various sources, luck in personal business where they can be their own boss. Their friendships can bring them important opportunities, just as they can attract great friendships into their lives. Ease of growing on social media and inspiring the masses. Even without intending to, these natives can bring many positive things to the circles to which they belong, managing to contribute favorably to them. They will attract opportunities that will allow them to make their aspirations and goals a reality. These natives can be accepted more easily in groups, people tend to like them most of the time. They can attract people who, by supporting them, can greatly help the native in return. The older they feel, the more satisfied and content they may feel with their life.
🔲Part of fortune in Aquarius: You have the ability to stand out from the crowd more easily. Following your own path or venturing into a path that no one in your family or close circle has taken can lead you to success. These people have a magnetism that makes people drawn to them, a unique charm coming from their enigmatic and nuanced personality. Your originality and creativity can bring you success, and you can be considered an ideas machine. These natives have the ability to bring people together and make them feel part of a group. You can achieve many things by working on your own and doing things your own way. They may have talents or skills for astrology, science, technology or simply innovate in the field of their interest.
🖤Aquarius degrees [11°, 23°]: A very strong, creative and inventive mind. Success in innovating in any field of interest. They may stand out for a hobby and be seen as very capable at them with people. They will easily stand out for their authenticity and originality. Lots of luck in projects with friends or that you do on the internet. They stand out easily with or without people around them.
🔘Part of fortune in the 12th house: These people have a lot of positive karma from other lives, so this placement is a natural indicator of luck. They will always emerge victorious no matter who their enemies are or who want their downfall. They feel and are divinely protected, in fact they can be more spiritual which helps them attract greater protection and opportunities. Greater potential to manifest, your inner dreams or desires can become a reality in no time. They may not be aware of their luck, but things at the end of the day are usually in their favor. They can experience many moments of being in the right place at the right time. These people may find satisfaction in spending time alone after a busy day, finding comfort and joy in it. They usually have a strong intuition and their hunches usually save them from going through tense and unnecessary situations. After helping people, they can attract favorable streaks of luck. Doing things for themselves and not sharing their plans can bring them better results and enjoy their achievements better.
🔲Part of fortune in Pisces: These people can achieve success if they decide to work on something that fills their soul, that is, working on one of their passions. Success if you decide to pursue an artistic or esoteric branch, or if you venture into the path of helping other people. They may experience streaks of good fortune in unexpected or subtle ways, as well as help from those who least expect it or opportunities when they feel most hopeless. They can attract many opportunities or experiences that provide them with emotional well-being. They are endowed with enormous magnetism that not only makes them attract people's attention or affection, but also favorable situations. The more you delve into spirituality, the more opportunities and luck will knock on your door.
🖤Pisces degrees [12°, 24°]: Abilities to manifest everything they dream or write. Great sensitivity and ease of seeing through people's emotions. They can carry positive karma from other lives which helps them. They can find success in artistic fields, especially painting or music. Easy to charm people, because they are very magnetic.
🖤Part of Fortune in 00°: These people naturally attract luck, regardless of the circumstances, life will give them the right people at the right time and take away those who do not contribute anything to them. They can find happiness and satisfaction more easily, especially by being clear about what they want and pursuing that path. 
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🌠 Aspects of the Part of Fortune with the planets 🌠
⬛Conjunction, trine or sextile with Sun: These people can naturally attract abundance and luck into their lives. Being themselves, that is, being authentic can open many doors to opportunities. Strong self-esteem and natural charisma that make them not only well-liked but respected. They may have this "lucky charm" quality being considered one by people around them. They tend to earn recognition, praise and compliments quite frequently. Success in fields that allow you to be in the spotlight.
⬜Opposition or square with Sun: A path to self-acceptance and self-love is what will bring luck to the lives of these natives. It is necessary that they develop their own identity and learn to act based on what they believe and are. Developing an understanding of themselves and what they really want will align them with the path they desire and deserve.
⬛Conjunction, trine or sextile with Moon: These people will be able to form a home in which they feel comfortable and happy. They can attract emotionally supportive bonds throughout their lives. They will attract many experiences and experiences that will give them satisfaction and emotional well-being. They may have great family relationships and form special bonds with women or attract women who support them greatly. 
⬜Opposition or square with Moon: To achieve success and happiness, these natives must learn to be more in touch with their emotions, better understand their needs and be more sensitive to themselves. By better understanding your inner world, being more patient and balancing reason and mind can lead you to a path of fulfillment and contentment with your lives.
⬛Conjunction, trine or sextile with Mercury: Quality of saying things at the right moment. Communication and intellect are sources of success. They solve problems easily and have ideas that can create opportunities for them. They are people who can stand out a lot thanks to their skills. Very capable students. Excellent writers and communicators. Success and satisfaction when expressing what they think. 
⬜Opposition or square with Mercury: Creating a balance between planning and action will be essential for success. Working on your tendencies of self-doubt and overthinking will bring positive changes. It will be necessary for them to trust their abilities, create their own criteria and be cautious with whom they share their goals or aspirations.
⬛Conjunction, trine or sextile with Venus: Artistic talents that can bring them success. They will attract relationships that will benefit them and bring happiness. Ease of attracting money. Life will flood you with pleasant experiences that will increase your happiness. These natives are endowed with attractiveness, charm and a lot of physical beauty. Their creativity flows with ease. Abundant love life or at least, a quite satisfactory one.
⬜Opposition or square with Venus: Working on and getting rid of people-pleasing tendencies can help you live more fully and feel better. They may feel they have a tense love life, tension between loving someone and loving themselves. Developing healthy self-esteem and learning to value yourself and your efforts will bring more luck.
⬛Conjunction, trine or sextile with Mars: Their initiative brings them success, they seem to act or decide to start things at the right time. They may attract male figures who are very supportive or who give them opportunities to grow and succeed. Success and luck quickly act in your favor. These people win competitions and usually enjoy many victories throughout their lives. Much success when undertaking or working independently, also as leaders.
⬜Opposition or square with Mars: Learning to control impulses and work on ways to find motivation will bring greater satisfaction in the lives of natives. Being assertive, driven and patient can bring many benefits in the long term. Standing up for themselves without being hostile or too impulsive. Take things slowly and understand that things happen in their own time.
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⬛Conjunction, trine or sextile with Jupiter: These people take leaps of faith and often jump into opportunities that quickly grow. They attract very supportive connections and mentors into their lives. Blind luck. They improve and get successful quickly and are likely to achieve wealth and be presented with great opportunities.  Luck through travel and ease in attracting opportunities to learn new things that give you a lot of spiritual satisfaction.
⬜Opposition or square with Jupiter: The key is to create a balance in which you don’t drown either negativity nor excessive positivity. When things don't go the way they want, they can quickly throw in the towel or become demotivated, without being aware that many times life does this to put a better option in their paths. It is necessary to learn to trust the universe or simply have faith when a situation is out of our control.
⬛Conjunction, trine or sextile with Saturn: These natives can achieve long-term satisfaction and happiness. Opportunities to advance professionally and have many successes in the workplace and/or as they get older. They can attract relationships with older people that benefit them in the long term. Success when carrying out plans and materializing them. They will attract great supporters or mentors who will support them. Positive karma will return to you quickly and in greater abundance.
⬜Opposition or square with Saturn: Hard work is the key to success. Your rewards will be given after waiting and a long wait that will be worth it. Patience, effort and a responsible mentality will be what will lead them to feel more satisfied with their lives. The blossoming of your hard work will take time but will bring you many benefits in the long run.
⬛Conjunction, trine or sextile with Uranus: They can unexpectedly attract streaks of luck or great opportunities. Daring to make changes will give you satisfaction, growth and can open doors to success. They can attract helpful friendships. The internet can be a source of satisfaction, money and success. Your ideas, inventions, creativity and originality can be sources of fortune or triumph. Embracing your individuality will bring you happiness and opportunities to have everything you have wanted.
⬜Opposition or square with Uranus: Daring to leave their comfort zone and learning to adapt to life's changes can bring the success and joy they so seek to the lives of natives. Being authentic and balancing their independence, that is, doing things on their own without hating to ask for support, will lead them to get what they want.
⬛Conjunction, trine or sextile with Neptune: They attract many opportunities to develop their spirituality and grow a lot through them. Artistic and spiritual talents. Gifted with magnetism and strong intuition. Ability to manifest and make their dreams a reality. Easily attract the compassion of others. A lot of creativity and they can achieve fortune if they materialize those ideas. They can intuitively make decisions that lead them to success or do things that, even without intending to, that give them an enormous degree of happiness.
⬜Opposition or square with Neptune: It is crucial that these natives develop a realistic mindset and have their feet on the ground to begin building their path to success. They need to learn to trust their intuition. Having a practical and realistic approach can bring greater opportunities to your lives. 
⬛Conjunction, trine or sextile with Pluto: They can attract great transformative experiences that can change your life forever in a good way. They will naturally attract positions of power, whether at work or feelings of empowerment. Anyone who harms you will soon meet the same fate. They will be able to achieve large amounts and different forms of fortune. Ease to overcome any type of adversity and have the results turn out in your favor. Ease of seeing what goes unnoticed by others. Strong and accurate intuition. You can attract people with a lot of power and influence who can support you.
⬜Opposition or square with Pluto: In order to find success and satisfaction, natives will have to learn to let go of everything that ties them to the past. Old frustrations that prevent them from trying again. The fear of failure can hold them back. They should be more open to change and not beat themselves down over past mistakes. Trust your power and embrace it.
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exopelagic · 1 year ago
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just take this
#I know I’m posting a lot like this recently but#I’m just so fucking tired#I tried so hard at the start of this term to make sure I wouldn’t be struggling like I normally do and then stuff happens#and my shit gets moved around in ways that are out of my control and I’m in hell again#and I just like. even when things are good at the end of the day I’m pretty consistently kinda sad#is this the fucking winter I swear to god#I think it probably comes down to the fact that I have a truly ridiculous amount to think abt rn and it’s so hard to keep track of it all#and there’s always something immediate that I need to do alongside multiple long term things which I’m chipping away at but are always there#like immediately I have two presentations to write#and less immediately I have 6 lectures to catch up on. I gotta watch two before Monday#presentations and ideally some lectures by Thursday#and then on top of that there’s the coursework we just got given that I need to think about within the next few weeks#an essay Tuesday after next#figuring out a project area which means at least 3 more meetings. ideally more#also within the next 2-3 weeks bc otherwise I won’t have time#and then on top of that hockey is starting to feel like a job.#between mounting admin I’ve been trying to keep on top of and neglecting my degree and it being so busy and having to fill in for people#who are missing#and then the new skates are better but have their own issues and the laces fucking kill my hands#I need to find time to just go to a free skate sometime but that’s not happening until the new year :/#bc I’m going home immediately after term ends bc my sister is doing a performing thing that I need to be home for to watch the dogs#so my mum can go#and then like. constantly getting new drama that **I** have to deal with for some reason bc this one girl has decided I’ve betrayed her#a ‘massive fucking betrayal’ apparently even though I barely know her and I had no idea what was going on with her#and then. the whole fucking situation with The Guy#and god this different guy after hockey tonight when we were cleaning up was complaining and made a dumb joke and I made a dumb joke#and it was. dumb. and he was like hey luke is everything okay with your degree bc you’ve been more and more tired every time I see you#and he was taking the piss but he’s Right#luke.txt
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harmoonix · 3 months ago
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☄ ᴛᴡɪʟɪɢʜᴛ ☄
(Astroctober Observations)
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☄ - Ascendant aspecting the Moon, the native's aura can standout, their looks in general are quite adorable, especially the eyes (doe eyes)
☄ - Juno in Air Signs. (Gemini, Libra, Aquarius) they desire for lots of communication in their relationships, i swear you'll share a lot of laughs with them
☄ - Sun square/opposite/conjunct Moon, these natives are those people with a strong mind yet sensibile soul, they often have to think logical vs emotional
☄ - Capricorn Moons/Moon at 10°, 22° even if Moon can feel different in these placements, it will act very mature and independent, Capricorn Moons natives are the most reliable people ever
☄ - Earth/Water in Sun/Moon/Rising (Lilith or Venus) give dark aura, and is not in a bad term is just their yin energy ☯️
☄ - Eros (433) in Capricorn/Taurus or Virgo want a mature love, they also want to search for a long lasting relationship
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☄ - Moon in the 9th house natives can at some point in their lives to move away to a place they like/feel peaceful at
☄ - I love Sun/Venus/Mercury in the 9th house and their love for others cultures/traditions/ is truly unique
☄ - A stellium in your birth chart is when you have 3 or more planets in the same sign, a stelium indicates a big focus depends on the house to have it
Aquarius Stelliums - Innovative, unique, different, humanitarian, helper, working in online/social media
Stellium in the 7th house - Big focus on your relationships, maybe your biggest goal is to get married/having a happy relationship with your partner
Scorpio Stellium - Evolving, transformation, healing, inherited/legacy things, secrets (maybe finding secrets that were hidden from you),
Stellium in the 11th house - Influencer vibes, a big focus towards your social groups, friends, chimestry around people
Stellium in Sagittarius - Discovering, searching, staying wild, boredom, curious, bold, travel, religion, spirituality/ocult
☄ - Having Sagittarius/Jupiter in your 4th house can indicate expanding your home, maybe changing your home a lot and in exotic places
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☄ - Sagittarius/Jupiter in your 11th house helps you to manifest friends fast. You can manifest things more easily
☄ - Sagittarius/Jupiter in your 1st house, this is a lucky placement to have because Jupiter helps you so much, especially to get out of bad situations
☄ - Heavy Pluto energy in your chart can make you attracted to horror/dark topics such as movies, songs, art etc..
☄ - Jupiter in Libra/7th house or Jupiter at 7° 19° can make you to have luck in your relationships, and is not about getting the right people, is about the people you get in relationship, it comes with their own benefits (If is Retrogade then you may have a hard time finding the right person)
☄ - Jupiter in Leo/5th house or at 5°, 17°, 29°, these people can get to be known really easily, people are attracted to them like tom after jerry, also you are your own source of inspiration and joy
☄ - Cancer Venus/Moon/Rising can be shy at first because they want to feel secure/safe around that person
☄ - Venus in the 10th house, this placement is makes you to attract partners who can before older than you in age!! But to also attract partners who are very mature and respectful
☄ - People can find themselves very attached to you if you have your 4th or 5th house ruler in the 11th house
☄ - Venus square or opposite ascendant doesn't mean the native is ugly or bad looking, with those aspects most times indicate you have your own style and you like to dress how you want, like not having a specific clothing code
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☄ - Lilith in Virgo/Lilith in the 6th house or Lilith in Virgo Degrees 6°, 18°, can find themselves being quite critical about things in their life, sometimes you just have to let things happen
☄ - Lilith in Aquarius or at 11°. 23° Lilith finds herself being in a extremely rebellious energy, people with those placements will do the things in their own way
☄ - Lilith square Moon or Mars natives can hide a deep frustration inside them and that thing can explode something and create a big conflict between the native and other people
☄ - If you have Moon in Sagittarius or at 9°, 21° Degrees aspecting Pluto/Saturn or Lilith this can indicate having your freedom getting taken away/can represent religious trauma/religious conflicts
☄ - Taurus Placements especially Sun/Moon/Rising, I love how deep these people are attracted to nature/background and their environment
☄ - Where you have Taurus in your chart can indicate where you feel the most sensual
1st house - they're sensual 24/7, always feeling sensuality in their veins
7th house - feeling the most sensual around their partners
4th house - feeling the most sensual when they're in their own home/when they're home alone
10th house - in their career/being seen by the public as sensual
12th house - their subconscious, soul and mind has a sensual energy
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☄ - If you have Venus in the 4th house or Venus rulling your 4th house (Libra or Taurus in the 4th house), these natives are good for creating a harmonious home space
☄ - Sun Pisces/ in the 12th house or Sun at 12° or 24° degrees, When Sun touches the misterious Pisces energy, everything for these natives can feel like a dream because of the Neptune effect also when it comes to charm...you're gorgeous!!!
☄ - Moon in Aquarius/Moon in the 11th house, you're gonna get so easily attached by them and is you gonna relate to a lot things together
☄ - Mars in the 9th house can make people attached to your culture/tradition, let's say you're Italian for example, people will be attracted to your cultural background
☄ - People born with Pluto in Libra can experience a very big change towards their relationships all their life, your partner can be different from the past one and so on, also they need to put standards in their relationships
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I love 1st October so much!!🫶🏼🖤🖤 I hope you all will have a good month!! Hoa hoa hoa season finally started 😭😭😭
Harmoonix~🤍
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astrocafecoffee · 2 months ago
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ASTRO OBSERVATION (PART 5)
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•~ 🍁 For entertainment purposes only, enjoy my lovelies 🍁 ~•
🍁MASTERLIST
~~~~~~~~~~~~~🍁🍁~~~~~~~~~~~~~
🏞️ I have seen Pisces and cancer placements are very sensitive to strong artificial scents, like they feel so dizzy. Some virgos too.
🏞️ Pisces placement peoples often put others needs before their own and may struggle with setting boundaries , which leads to people pleasing tendencies. Libra, cancer and Taurus placements also comes under this.
🏞️ In my 2023-2024 solar return 7th house ruler in 11th house. I met most of my friends in social media this year. My sun is also in 11th house.
🏞️ part of fortune is in my 12th house in my 2023-24 solar return. I learnt many things about esoteric things. And I started this blog also.
🏞️ Gemini moons might struggle with emotional focus , as their attention can shift quickly from one thing to another.
🏞️ check born asteroid in your solar return , it can tell you in which area you will embark on a new journey.
🏞️ I have seen people with sun in 9th house often have migraine issue.
🏞️ Sagittarius suns/ sun in 9th house peoples may appear open and forthcoming but they are surprisingly secretive and protective of their personal lives.
🏞️ scorpio placement peoples often attract peoples from their past lives or those with whom they share strong karmic bonds.
🏞️ Juno in Aquarius people often struggle with emotional detachment and aloofness in relationships which can be confusing or hurtful to partners.
🏞️ Juno in Aries people approaches relationship challenges with a " let's take action" attitude seeking practical solutions.
🏞️ I have seen that some people may worry that Neptune with Aquarius individuals ( degree/ sign) are too disconnected from reality or lack practicality. But also people may appreciate this individuals empathy and willingness to help others , even if they don't always agree with their methods .
🏞️ cancer rising/ cancer in 5th house / moon in 5th house in solar return chart can be a significant indicator of having a baby/ being pregnant that year.
🏞️ 1st house lord in leo / In 11th house / in 10th house can be a good Indicator of fame in your natal chart.
🏞️ Uranus in 17°/29 ° can also be a indicator of long term fame.
🏞️11th house ruler in 4th house in natal chart individuals often possess some kind of healing qualities. People comes to them for healing or people often find their home in this individuals.
🏞️ 11th house ruler in 8th house individuals in natal often have very powerful friends or colleagues. I mean their friends may posses some kind of authority and power in the society.
🏞️ 5th house ruler in the houses of your child persona chart can tell how you show love to your baby or how you will you support your child -
1st house - you will love your children through physical touch , affection and personal attention.
2nd house- you will show love through practical support, stability and providing for their needs.
3rd house - through verbally communicating with them , teaching them moral values , mental stimulation and playing with them.
4th house - you will love your children from the core of your heart. Nurturing them , and emotional support is the biggest theme here.
5th house- playing with them , enjoying any kind of playful activities with them, arranging parties and helping them with their creative activities.
6th house- you will help your children to develop healthy habits, concerning about them. Helping them to be a better person in their life, teaching them social and moral values.
7th house- through socialising, teaching them networking and how to maintain a healthy relationships.
8th house- you show love through intensity , passion , and possibly even a bit of drama ( maybe sometime giving them tough love ).
9th house- teaching them various topics, expanding their knowledge , you will also make them Focus on their education more.
10th house - like 9th house you will also help them to achieve their goals and ambitions. Always motivating them .
11th house - you will show your love through unconventionality, encouraging their individuality and giving them independence.
12th house - you will encourage them to embrace their artistic side. Also teaching them spiritual matters.
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🏞️ Taurus placements are very loyal and commited but they may take time to open up infront of their partners. So their partners have to be patient with them.
🏞️ people often misunderstood mercury with Capricorn/ Aquarius/ scorpio individuals. People think they are so rude, atleast in first glance. But when people engage with them more , they realise this individuals are actually sweet pookies.
🏞️ Juno conjunct sun in natal chart individuals may be drawn to partners who are confident, powerful and authoritative .
🏞️ Juno conjunct moon individuals may have a strong emotional memory,and past relationship experiences often shape their current relationships.
🏞️ Venus in Capricorn/10°/22° individuals are very selective whomever they date, they won't lower their standards.( You go girl).
🏞️ Here are some rich spouse indicators.
🏞️ Beautiful/ Handsome spouse indicators-
1. Jupiter or Neptune conjunct or trine Venus.
2. Harmonious aspect between Venus and 7th house ruler in natal chart.
3. Pisces rising/ Libra rising in juno pc / groom pc / Jupiter pc.
4. Venus/ Jupiter/ Neptune in 7th house of natal / juno pc / groom pc / Jupiter pc.
5. Harmonious aspect between ascendant and venus in groom pc / juno pc/ Jupiter pc.
🏞️ if you are female then check Jupiter sign in your natal chart , as this sign can present in your spouse's chart ( personal planets). If you are male then check Venus sign.
🏞️ if you have Uranus in 1st house of your solar return chart, then you will change your aesthetics this year. The degree will tell you how you will look. For example- if Uranus is in 12°/24° in 1st house in your solar return chart then you will look more pretty, dreamy and angelic this year. Similiar kind of thing with POF in 1st house too.
🏞️ MC in Capricorn/ scorpio in solar return chart - you will work hard this year to achieve your goals.
🏞️ having asc/ dsc/ ic / mc in Sagittarius degrees or northnode in 9th house or in Sagittarius in Boda Persona chart may indicate marrying someone foreigner or having destination wedding or marrying in your future spouse's country.
🏞️ midheaven in leo in northnode persona chart is a biggest fame Indicator to me.
🏞️ ascendant in leo / in leo degrees in northnode persona chart is also a good fame indicator.
🏞️ Boda in 3rd house/ in Gemini in your Boda Persona chart/ vertex persona chart/ northnode persona chart can indicate people talk about your marriage alot.
🏞️ 7th house stellium/ fama in 7th house / fama conjunct Jupiter/ groom or briede conjunct POF in FAMA persona chart can indicate marrying someone famous.
🏞️ ASC / MC in leo or in leo degrees can indicate you are meant to be famous. ( 5° can indicate short term fame but 17° and 29° indicate long-term fame).
🏞️ Indicator of someone who is prone to being obsessed over or having a strong fan base or In general people being obsessed over you placements -
1. Venus/ mars / Jupiter in leo or Libra.
2. Sun in leo.
3. Venus conjunct or trine Neptune.
4. Venus in 1st / 5th house.
5. Mars in 1st/ 5th house.
6. Neptune in 1st house / Pisces rising.
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Hope you enjoyed ✨
- PIKO ❤️
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giamee · 7 months ago
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𝐇𝐎𝐖 𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐘 𝐇𝐄𝐋𝐏 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐃𝐔𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐄𝐗𝐀𝐌 𝐒𝐄𝐀𝐒𝐎𝐍!
... aka something super self indulgent because i'm going insane right now
༊*·˚ featuring ➻ the hsr men
༊*·˚ gia's notes ➻ this is probably gonna get posted way after exam season is over but here it is!!! my coping mechanism!!! i have 3 exams in 8 days im gonna explode bro. and before that i had a THREE HOUR STATISTICS EXAM 😀😀
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ᯓ ᡣ𐭩 MAKES SURE THAT YOU SLEEP COMFORTABLY.
you've been running yourself into the ground recently with revision- yes, it's important and you need to study to get good grades, as he is more than aware of due to your multiple stressed rants to him when he suggests that you take a break.
it doesn't bother him, not really. he knows that you're beyond stressed right now and don't mean to be so snappy. he just wants to make sure that you're still taking care of yourself despite everything.
he's in your dorm room, not really making much noise, scrolling through reals with his phone on mute, just present to keep an eye on you and get you to take a break whenever it's been a little too long since you've moved from your desk.
it's some time where it's debatable whether it's very late or very early- both of your sleep schedules are fucked- and there comes a little thunk from your desk that interrupts the otherwise silent room.
your boyfriend glances up, smiling in triumph as he sees that you've finally succumbed to the nap that he's been trying to convince you to take for the past... 36 hours? something like that.
and now that your body has finally given in to exhaustion, he springs to action.
you'd been studying for days, you'd done more than enough for your upcoming exam, and a solid few hours of uninterrupted sleep is exactly what you need right now.
he slips off of your bed, his movements quiet and calculated as he sidles up next to you. your glasses are smushed against your face, and he gingerly removes them as gracefully as he can. you stir a little as he does so, and he grimaces, waiting for you to settle again.
it looked like you would wake up if he carried you to your bed- looks like he'll have to improvise.
he snags the fuzzy blanket folded neatly at the foot of your bed, wrapping it around your sleeping form still sat at your desk as best as he can. he then takes one of your smaller pillows, coaxing it between you and the solid wood of your desk as best as he can before admiring his handiwork.
hopefully, you wouldn't wake up with a stiff neck.
and finally, as a cherry on top, he places a kiss to your squished cheek and sits back down to let you take a well-deserved nap.
˚୨୧⋆。˚ ⋆ BLADE, gallagher, BOOTHILL ++ your faves!
ᯓ ᡣ𐭩 IS YOUR PERSONAL ASSISTANT WHILE YOU'RE STRESSING.
you don't have to lift a single finger when he's around. luckily for you, his exams finished a lot earlier this term than yours did, leaving him ample time to help you as much as he is capable of.
and what an attentive boyfriend he is! amidst all the stress, you can't help but swoon for him all over again because of how attentive he's being towards you. he just wants you to help you study and not worry about anything else!
if you're hungry, he'll have a plate of food ready for you before the request has even left your mouth. your back or neck is aching due to being hunched over? his strong hands are rubbing circles into the muscle, making you sigh contentedly as the stiffness melts away.
he's honestly like an angel in your time of need.
you feel guilty about how one-sided this all is, but he merely smiles, giving you a quick kiss and assuring you that he understands and just wants you to do well. you almost cried because of how sweet he was being.
once these exams are over, you're definitely going to make it up to him.
˚୨୧⋆。˚ ⋆ GEPARD, jing yuan, sunday ++ your faves!
ᯓ ᡣ𐭩 ACTS AS YOUR TEMPORARY STUDY PARTNER.
despite not doing your degree, he's clever, and he knows enough without googling to help you out when you revise.
he's an advocate for the "teach someone about a subject until they understand it as well as you do" and luckily for you, he's all ears... and even if he does get some things a little quicker than your fried brain can explain, he still bites his tongue and plays a little dumb to probe you further with questions to test your understanding.
it'll help in the exam.
you've decided that this is way better than being cramped in a booth in the library- you have the freedom to wave your arms around and pace the room, to fully illustrate your thoughts and knowledge as he flips through the colourful flashcards that you made, reading the answers on the back of each of them, grilling you on the questions like a tiger mum.
he'll be damned if you don't get an A.
˚୨୧⋆。˚ ⋆ dan heng, DR RATIO, welt ++ your faves!
ᯓ ᡣ𐭩 DEFUSES YOU WHENEVER YOU'RE GETTING TOO STRESSED.
in the days leading up to your exams, it was best to describe your stomach as a pit of nerves. it was honestly distracting you from revising, all the pent up anxiety that churned within you until you were on the verge of a meltdown.
and while you may be too stressed to realise all of this and do something about it, your boyfriend's watchful eye realises this.
and so he does what he does best- he makes you feel better.
he pulls your body to rest against his where he lies in your bed, his large hand drawing comforting circles up and down your spine- and after a few minutes he can feel you melt into him, your body finally releasing the pent up stress that it's been holding for too long.
"it's ok to take a break, honey."
you sigh into him, and he hugs you tighter.
"c'mon, let's go outside for a few minutes. it'll help you feel a lot better."
you shake your head.
"you wanna just stay here for a bit?"
he feels you nod against his chest.
"ok, then let's do that."
˚୨୧⋆。˚ ⋆ SAMPO, luocha, AVENTURINE ++ your faves!
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IF YOU LIKED THIS, TRY ... do you want somebody like i want somebody?
the sweet and caring nature of the hsr men is also shown through them being your roommate <3
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andhumanslovedstories · 2 months ago
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I am not closely following the election results tonight, but I am occasionally seeing flashes of them out of the corner of my eye. The most obvious sign that things aren’t going well right now is the complete lack of celebrating on my dash. I know what tumblr looks like when it’s happy. Maybe I’ll go to bed tonight and see something different in the morning. I hope to god that is the case. But I’m thinking about the way I’m thinking right now, and I want to get some stuff down before the future kicks in.
In 2016 I was in a period of my life I affectionately refer to as as my fuckup era. I wasn’t even fucking up really. More just chilling out and falling short of the vague expectations I’d had about what I was supposed to be doing after I graduated college. While my friends from college rented apartments in the city and got jobs that didn’t supply you with a uniform shirt, I lived at home and worked as a barista at a fancy movie theater. That’s a real job you can do for almost five years. I didn’t have a clue what the back half of my twenties should look like. The only long term plan I had in my life was moving out west with my best friend, and my plan for finding a job once I was out there was basically to cross my fingers and hope.
Those days weren’t bad on the whole, but it felt like I was not actually living a life so much as I was goofing off in the waiting room. Sometimes that felt embarrassing, sometimes it felt fun, and sometimes it felt like I was completely pointless to the world.
On 2016’s Election Day, I went to bed early. After watching the votes come in, I needed the night to be over. I woke in a world that felt different than it had been the night before—not just in the actuality of who would be president but down to its foundations. I realized for the first time how much hope I’d had in human nature because now I didn’t feel it anymore. It’s almost silly when I think about it—so many horrible things had already happened that year, people had done horrible things as long as there have been people, and I didn’t think I was naive to that—but something clicked into place that morning.
It felt the same way my world had changed a year earlier, in 2015 during my last semester of college. My college victory lap felt like a prolonged downward spiral. Very early in the morning on a Monday, after pulling an all-nighter and overwhelmed by self-loathing that I could not just motivate myself to work on a paper that had been my only thought all weekend, I self-harmed for the first time in a way that was impossible to pretend it was anything else. Earlier that weekend, I’d tried staving off the urges drawing or writing on my arm, something that did (and does) usually work. I’d written this quote in silver sharpie on my forearm: “Good is not a thing you are. It's a thing you do.”
I picked that quote from the Ms. Marvel comics and liked the words so much, I thought that I wouldn’t be willing to purposefully mess it up by hurting myself there. Didn’t work. They just made me feel more ashamed of myself as I did it.
That was the worst I had ever felt. Then, on the Friday of that week, a friend of mine was senselessly, brutally murdered.
It doesn’t feel now like there was ever a time before her death. My memoir class is now where I wrote about her. My favorite professor is now the one who held me as I cried. My final thesis, the culmination of my history degree, never got finished and certainly never got polished. I turned it what I had and got an A minus. Sometimes I think of rereading that paper to see if that’s the grade it actually deserved. We hadn’t been the closest friends, but my name was still on the email admin sent to professors, listing students who might be emotionally affected by this tragic event. Grace’s murder hangs over every memory I have with her and everything she ever touched. It feels like its own type of obliteration to leave her reduced to her death.
Grace wanted to be a lawyer because she believed in justice and also liked arguing. She could be rude when she wasn’t interested in what you were saying. When you caught her attention, you felt like the most fascinating person in the room. She was so proud of being Jewish. I watched her become proud of being gay. She was so universally friendly that it took me a year to realize that she actually liked specifically me. She had a somewhat silly laugh and an astonishingly luminous smile.
I thought less of the world and the people in it because of how she died. Trump’s election in 2016 felt like that.
After he won, I left stasis. From November through December, I thought harder about my future than I ever had before. Who did I want to be? What did I most value? What did I think was worth protecting? What work wouldn’t kill me to do? At one point, in presumably a fit of madness, I thought, “what if I got into politics.” Epiphany eventually hit me. By the time of Trump’s inauguration, I was already enrolled at community college, getting my pre-reqs for nursing school.
Now it’s election night again, eight years later. I live on the west coast with my best friend, in a house that we bought together. I work as a nurse in a hospital in a city where there are homeless encampments off every highway and someone begging for change on every corner. Meanwhile, there’s Palestine. Meanwhile there’s Sudan. Meanwhile refugees drown in the sea and border patrol shoots jugs of water. Even hurricanes have human cruelty now.
I don’t think people are inherently good or the universe inherently kind. But I am very good at tricking myself into thinking it for a little while, and when I do, I can remember the a specific feeling from Friday of my senior year, from that morning in November— how fucking hard the disappointment hit me because I had expected people to be better than this. It makes me want to be better than that.
I believe, and hope that I always will, that we can make a better world. I don’t know what it looks like, but I think I will see it in my lifetime. Those of us who can believe such things owe a bit of that naïveté to the world—not to excuse atrocities or think them impossible but to believe that we can stop them at all. You have to have a couple people sprinkled around who are genuinely shocked when people do bad things. It’s not that the pessimists are wrong, but you need the occasional counterbalance. I want to be a reasonable cynic’s pleasant surprise.
Every shift, I interact with people at their lowest and worst. I see the direct pipeline from pain to anger to violence, and how fragile that pipeline can be. So many situations can be changed by things as small as a warm blanket or a kind word. Violence can be quite easy to avert. Crises can be quite simply to resolve. Even when I know that whatever I do that shift will not change the circumstances of a person’s life, I think that what I do that shift still matters.
I’m lying in bed, writing this post instead of looking at the news. I wonder how tonight will change me. Been thinking about what I’ll do if Trump wins. Been thinking about how whatever I think I need to do under Trump will still need to be done if Harris clutches out a victory. I guess this is a pessimist’s optimism: to a degree the election doesn’t matter. Good is not a thing you are. It is a thing you do. Our better world will always take a lot of work.
But please god please, why can’t it be just a little easier to do it?
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halemerry · 1 year ago
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So there's a lot to unpack here but I want to start by talking about the ending and specifically about the Metatron and the calculating moves made at the end of episode 6.
Every single piece of what happened there was a manipulation technique being employed against Aziraphale to an almost brilliant degree and I'm honestly a little obsessed with what this says about the Metatron in particular.
Let's go in order.
First of all. We see him order coffee. In a human body. Something sweet and sugary. He talks to Nina and asks her about her shop name. Does anyone ever ask for death? And when she tells him no they don't his response is to say "so predictable". Our introduction to him here even when everything about him reads like a sweet old man is presented to show us someone who reads the world in terms of being predictable to him.
He then shows up in the middle of Aziraphale's existence being threatened. He immediately cuts down the threat's authority (using outdated language like Az himself would favor) and reemphasizes his own connection to Heaven. When Michael doesn't recognize him and he puts her down and then directly engages Crowley. Crowley who, to Aziraphale, has for centuries at a minimum been someone he thinks is smarter, better, more Good than these other archangels. The Metatron validates these beliefs. Crowley is more Heavenly than these archangels who couldn't even recognize the voice of God when he was standing right in front of them.
The Metatron draws attention to the fact he's in a human body. The kind of body Aziraphale has been in and loved for nearly 6000 years. He then banishes the archangels, implying their morality is in a gray space, and validates Muriel someone we have seen Aziraphale react positively to and someone outside the current power structure. Look at me, he's saying. I see and validate the little guy.
He then tries to talk to Aziraphale. Aziraphale says "I've made my position quite clear." And then the Metatron offers Aziraphale the coffee. This bartering chip, consuming sustenance, is a thing that Aziraphale and Crowley have used as their connective tissue for centuries. It's an olive branch for them. It's giving Aziraphale bodily pleasure and the Metatron implies that he himself has partaken also - a thing we know that Aziraphale has struggled historically with moralizing. He is seen by the closest thing he has left to his parent and he is having old fears validated as safe and old habits being played upon to make him feel secure
He then REMOVES Aziraphale from his home turf. Not only does he remove Crowley from the equation but he takes Aziraphale from the place that has stood as a place of sanctuary throughout the entirety of the season. The shop is Safe and Aziraphale is leaving it and he is leaving the one person who might be able to smell the bullshit coming from the Metatron. The music notably turns absolutely dire here.
The next time we see them the Metatron tells Aziraphale that he doesn't need to answer instantly. He can take his time, if he likes. All the time he needs. And then tells him to go tell Crowley. Once again bringing Crowley in as a valid part of this while manufacturing a scenario where he can't possibly be.
Az ends up in a place where he's overwhelmed and confused and he wants so badly to believe what he's being told. It's an appealing thing from his perspective! He feels off kilter like he's made a mistake in judging the Metatron. He can't even fully articulate what happened to Crowley at first and he's had absolutely no real time to actually think it through. He's running on sheer reactive energy.
The Metatron starts their conversation by asking Aziraphale's opinion. Who should rule Heaven? This is once again playing into making Az feel validated and like he's a part of this decision making process. The Metatron corrects him, complimenting Aziraphale and making him feel capable and in control. He reassures Aziraphale's bafflement. And draws attention to some traits that, while true of Aziraphale around Crowley, are not his defining traits in the eyes of Heaven. You don't just tell people what they want to hear I find particularly notable in this regard given Aziraphale spent most of his time on earth actively lying to Heaven and doing just that. But it fits into the narrative Aziraphale has built around himself, especially post Apocalypse. The Metatron then says I need you (a phrase Az will use much more painfully here in a minute).
And even after all this Aziraphale says no. He says flat out he doesn't want to go back to Heaven. He says this!!! And then the Metatron sweetens the pot. He swaps tactics. Not once has this come up until Aziraphale pushes back against the idea. If the Metatron could've gotten him without using it I have no doubt he wouldn't have bothered with it. Come to Heaven and we can save Crowley. Aziraphale loves Crowley. Aziraphale thinks Crowley is better than any of the angels he's interacted with. Crowley is Good and Nice and Kind and always saving him and now he's being presented with a way to return that. He can Forgive Crowley - a thing Crowley has always presented to Aziraphale as something he struggles with. All of these things Aziraphale has watched Crowley react to in a way that belittles himself or distances them from one another. Of course he wouldn't consider that maybe what he was actually saying is "I'm unforgivable and I don't want that forgiveness."
The Metatron offers Aziraphale a Dream Offer for the pre Armageddon Aziraphale. You can keep your Crowley. You can heal him like you have always thought he deserved. You can have power and control the people who for your whole existence has beaten you down. It can go back to how it was but BETTER.
When Aziraphale leaves he still hasn't answered. He goes and has the conversation they have. It's intense and emotional and the Metatron comes in after the Moment all casual and asks how it goes, knowing fully well the shitstorm he had just set up to get created. And then he turns around and says "always did want to go his own way" which is not only true of Crowley but framed as a bad thing despite the fact that he has just spent twenty minutes or so telling Aziraphale that he's done his own thing and that is Good. He is playing both sides of this perspective as it suits him. And then he cuts down Crowley asking questions, pressuring Aziraphale to avoid doing the same. He then proceeds to ask Aziraphale not if he's made up his mind but if he's ready to get started. He is one by one closing off exit routes to this thing as Aziraphale starts to look more and more panicked and indecisive. He makes sure the bookshop is in good hands and asks Aziraphale if there's anything he needs to take with him. Letting Aziraphale have the illusion of choice while cutting down "I don't want to" as an option altogether.
And Az, as soon as the Metatron is out of shot, tries to express this. And then he falls back right on old coping methods. The Metatron pats him on the head. Reassures that he's the right one for this. That he is Good. That his particular skillset is needed here.
It is a masterstroke of manipulation. A very dark twist on what we see Crowley do time and time again with Aziraphale throughout the millennia. Familiar in a way that makes Aziraphale feel safe. Except this time this is being used to put him back in line. It's brilliant and painful and it fucking hurt and I need a season 3 to see the Metatron get what's coming to him stat.
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